#it makes me really happy and it makes me feel really rested and rewarded mentally
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thedreadvampy · 1 year ago
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Ok so like my partner and their partner are moving today, right?
and my partner had top surgery like 2 months ago and their partner has injured their shoulder so I'm like ok I love to move boxes I am super happy to come help if that's useful? and they're like yes yes oh my god please cause we don't know if we've got the manpower to move anything.
so I go on Friday afternoon I am knocking off work early to help them move. I block out my calendar. I work longer days Monday-Wednesday to balance it out. I also have to leave work earlier than usual Tuesday and Thursday so it's a bit like ok I can squeeze this in if I use up all my TOIL from the last few weeks.
I have also turned down two different requests to hang out this evening bc I was like ok no I have plans that evening cause I'm helping people move
They started moving at lunchtime because that's when the friend with a van was available. Ok. I knock off work at 3 instead of 5 and I message to say ok you've been at this a while, do you still need me? My partner messages back and says yes, we've just got here we've not even started unpacking yet and there's more stuff left at the flat, come on down.
It's a 25 minute walk and when I get there the things remaining in the van and the car are:
a kettlebell
a single box
a small bag
so I take those up. then I stand awkwardly around in the living room while their very loud friend talks very loudly and nonstop until everyone is overwhelmed. there's a sofa that needs to come out of the flat because it's full of dog hair and my partner's partner is super allergic to dogs, so me and the loud friend carry that downstairs. my partner keeps trying to direct it even though that makes it WAY FUCKING HARDER. we agree with the van friend that he'll hang onto it for now and load it into the van.
then I go back up to the flat and stand around for 20 minutes
eventually I'm like ok is there anything. I could be doing here?
and they look at each other and they're like no. nah. we're done for today. We'll sort through our stuff and set up and you guys come back in a couple of hours and we'll go for beers
and ok like this is not anyone's fault but I'm so upset.
Like I have been functionally superfluous here. I moved two things that other people were already about to pick up, and I moved a sofa that would have got moved anyway (although Jay would have tried to move it. but frankly it doesn't seem like they've tried very hard to Not Move Furniture before that so who gives a shit?). and for that I have basically used up my whole Friday afternoon/evening and lost 2 work hours for what?
"come back in a couple of hours and we'll go for beers" I didn't sign up for beers! I booked out this evening because I wanted to do physical labour and move heavy things!!! I wanted to be helpful!!!! If I wanted to have a beer and socialise I would have taken up the several other offers of socialising this evening!!!! But I don't want to now because I'm so upscuttled and upset that I can't even be around people, I am sitting on the back step in my garden right now because there is a risk of encountering 1-2 people in my flat!!!!!
and I asked before I left work if I was needed for this exact reason! because I didn't want to show up hang around and leave!!!!!
and "oh so your Friday evening's free now"? It's NOT FREE I'm AUTISTIC it's DENUDED. I'm not doing the thing I was meant to be doing but my brain still thinks I'm meant to be doing it so I don't have the capacity to do anything else!!!!! I'm just HERE.
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bloomzone · 5 months ago
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GLOW UP DIARY:#3 the power of self-care
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"If you don't have a dream, that's okay too. It's possible not to have a dream. If you're happy, that's all that matters"
-Suga
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heyy sparkles...so today it's the third part of the glow up and thank you so so much T-T for the support in the second part
Edit: haircare,nail care is for apparence part I focused on routines,skincare,body care in this part (I'm so busy these days T-T<3)
© bloomzone
#3 SELF CARE
✉️ : Self-care includes activities like eating well, exercising, and relaxing to maintain physical, mental, and emotional health. It's essential for managing stress and enhancing overall well-being.
Self-care is essential for maintaining balance
﹙ ✿ ﹚Taking care of yourself is about finding simple, comforting routines that make you feel good. Start with small steps, like taking a relaxing bath,do ur skincare , journal...Prioritize these moments and remember that they are just as important as anything else on your to-do list. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small, and choose activities that genuinely make you happy. Listen to your body and give yourself the rest and care you need. By focusing on what brings you comfort and joy, you'll create a self-care routine that feels natural and rewarding.
HOW TO START SELF-CARE ?
Have a routine: It is really important to have a routine because if not you could have bad sleeping, be tired all day, get boredeasily, won't be able to finish responsibilities, it can bring you bad self esteem, unmotivated and in general is a complete mess.
Example of a routine (by me)
summer version.
⏰( wake up at 4:30am to pray ifajr if u are a Muslim :) )
♡ ゚wake up at 9:30am
♡ ゚make bed
♡ ゚drink water
♡ ゚morning stretch 15min
♡ ゚skincare/quick shower
♡ ゚breakfast
♡ ゚help mom if needed
♡ ゚phone time
⏰(pray duhr if u are Muslim:) )
♡ ゚lunch time
♡ ゚nap
♡ ゚full workout
⏰(pray asr if you are Muslim:) )
♡ ゚start learning a language,see friends or simply watch a movie
⏰(pray Maghrib if you are a Muslim :) )
♡ ゚help mom cooking dinner
♡ ゚wash dishes
♡ ゚check social
♡ ゚skincare
♡ ゚get ready for bed
♡ ゚sleep at 10pm
Things u can add to your routine :
cleaning ur room
- wardrobe
- desk
cooking
- I will share my fav recipes in next blogs 🤫
set goals for next year
- academic goals
- life goals ( saving money,body goal ...)
sunday self care day routine
summer version
⏰( salat al fajr + reading Quran for Muslims)
♡ ゚wake up at 9am
♡ ゚do ur bed
♡ ゚meditation
♡ ゚skincare + face mask
♡ ゚journal/affirmations
♡ ゚ice coffee/tea
♡ ゚morning stretch 15min
♡ ゚breakfast
♡ ゚help in cleaning
♡ ゚wear ur fit
♡ ゚go shopping
⏰(pray duhr in masjid if u luv to :) )
♡ ゚lunch
♡ ゚full workout
📍everything shower time
- hair mask
- shave
- body care
📍after shower
- dry your hair
- clean/paint ur nails
- wear ur comfy pyjamas
♡ ゚watch a movie
⏰(pray Maghrib if you are Muslim)
♡ ゚quality time with ur family/friends
📍get ready for bed
- write down what u achieve this week
- affirmations
⏰(pray Isha if u are Muslim)
♡ ゚skincare
♡ ゚get ur beauty sleep at 10pm
SELF-CARE BODYCARE AND SKINCARE
1.skincare
﹙ ✿ ﹚ I know that we all love shopping and buying things because it's pink or aesthetic or it's just because it's a famous products NO NO this wroong u don't need to buy a whole truck of innisfree products because it's pink or glow recipe buy products that will work for u if u have acnes and ur face hurt everytime u try to sleep or u wanna just wash it,visit a dermatologist he will give the product that ur skin need to heal again. (As a girl with strict parents hhh they didn't let me go I'm 16yo btw),so I start to buy random products until I found the perfect one for my skin (I have a terrible TERRIBLE oily skin)+ if u are 12-18 don't use serum's without permission of doctor u will just broke ur skin texture I bought ordinary serum and it just make my skin worst + it's an expansive sht ☠️
How to get rid of acne ?
♡ ⠀skincare secrets !
⊹ ‧avoid junk food
⊹ ‧fresh vegetables and fruits
⊹ ‧icing your face
⊹ ‧clay mask (recommended by me)
⊹ ‧avoid using a lot of skincare products
⊹ ‧ simplify ur skincare routine ( cleanser,toner, moisturizer)
⊹ ‧get 7-8 hour of sleep
⊹ ‧rice water
⊹ ‧don't sleep with ur make up
⊹ ‧stay hydrate
⊹ ‧change ur pillowcase (one in a week)
⊹ ‧ cucumber slice as a mask
⊹ ‧don't touch ur face
♡   Item you need
⊹ ‧pimples patches
⊹ ‧silicone facial cleaner (for deep cleaning)
⊹ ‧headband (keep ur hair up always)
2.BODY CARE
﹙ ✿ ﹚ Taking care of your body is a vital part of feeling your best, both inside and out. A good body care routine can boost your confidence and help you embrace your natural beauty. Body care is also about self-love and taking time for yourself amidst a busy schedule remember girlie every skin type is beautiful, and finding the right routine can enhance your natural glow.
♡   Body care secrets
⊹ ‧ don't shave (ur body)early until u are in the right age (+17) , if u are not a hairy girl no need to shave :)
⊹ ‧ shower everyday (don't wash ur hair )
⊹ ‧ choose the right body wash (nivea,vaseline >>)
⊹ ‧ stay hydrate avoid junk foods to protect ur body skin from pimples
⊹ ‧Exfoliate your skin 1-2 times a week to remove dead skin cells and promote cell renewal. Use a gentle scrub suitable for your skin type (coconut oil brown sugar >>)
💌 : How to shave ur leg and have a smooth soft skin
1- soak ur leg in warm water for (3 to 5 min) to make ur skin ready
2- use ur fav body scrub and exfoliate your body from death skin
3- use something like body oil or shaving cream and find a good razor at least 3 blades (venus Gillette is on top)
4- shave with slow don't be harsh,long strock and don't forget to wash the razor everytime
5- after drying ur legs use any lotion u like to give the skin the extra moisture + using baby oil to avoid strawberry legs
⊹ ‧ Choose body care products that are free from harsh chemicals and fragrances Opt for natural and gentle ingredients stay healthy girlie
⊹ ‧ avoid very hot water
⊹ ‧ Use natural oils like coconut oil, almond oil, or jojoba oil for deep hydration. Apply them after a shower or use them as an overnight treatment for extra softness.
♡   item you need
⊹ ‧ dry brush
⊹ ‧ loofah
⊹ ‧ natural soap (for ur 🐱)
⊹ ‧ razor pack
⊹ ‧ body scrub
⊹ ‧ body wash
⊹ ‧ africain exfoliating nets
⊹ ‧ body moisturizer
⊹ ‧ Shea butter
⊹ ‧ Epsom salt
ıllı ⠀ : ⠀Self-care is essential for every girl to nurture her mind, body, and spirit. Taking time for yourself isn’t selfish; it’s necessary. Whether it's indulging in a relaxing bath, practicing mindfulness, or simply taking a break to read a good book, these moments help recharge your energy and boost your confidence. Remember, you deserve to feel good and be happy. Prioritizing self-care allows you to show up as your best self in every area of your life. So, take a deep breath, put yourself first, and watch how everything else falls into place. Ilvy sm ⠀ ♡ ⠀ !!
© bloomzone
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shhhsecretsideblog · 4 months ago
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Hi, i hope you don't mind if i request to combine 2 prompts in one scenario.
8. "There's so much pressure..."
12. "Come on, you'll be fine. First labour's take ages.
Scenario: a pregnant woman got kidnapped by her obsessive ex-boyfriend, went into labor and begged him to take her to the hospital because she can't be having the baby in his basement, but he refused. Go as wild and dark as you want.
Thanks 💌
Thanks for the request anon, this was delicious to write. Only prompt no.8 has been included as the other didn’t naturally fit in to wherever the hell this story went. I swear I have no control, these stories take on a life of their own. You said go wild and dark, so… 😈 Trigger warnings; kidnapping, vomit, blood, violence, mental instability, death (not mum or bubs dw), oh and of course fpreg & birth. Hope you like it
Chained
Libby’s eyes fluttered open. It took a moment for her vision to focus but when it did she realised nothing was familiar. The room was dimly lit, no natural light source, only a singular light bulb hanging from the ceiling. Dark grey bricks formed each of the four walls and the floor below was concrete and rough. She was lying down, on old discoloured bedding on a rickety metal bed. Where the hell was she?! She tried to push herself upright, but she discovered one arm could not be moved. It was handcuffed to the bed!
“What the hell…” Libby muttered.
“Ah… you’re awake.” Came a voice from the shadows.
Stepping into the light Libby saw a man walk towards her. It was Scott, her ex boyfriend. He looked awful. She’d not seen him since they broke up 18 months ago. His hair had grown, now matted and unkept, dark circles hung beneath his eyes and his usually clean shaven chin now sported a severe and dishelved five o’clock shadow.
“…Scott? Where… where am I?” She asked confused and still a little bit groggy.
“You’re at home darling. I rescued you.”
Libby’s brain whirled into overdrive. She remembered going to a midwife appointment, it was her final check up before her due date, she finished the appointment and headed back to her car. She had stopped just before opening the door, hearing something behind her, and then…. everything went black.
“Rescued me?! From what?” Libby asked, managing to push herself to a sitting position with her one free hand.
“From making a mistake. Did you really think you could keep me away from my baby?” Scott drawled, his eyes staring hungrily at her pregnant stomach.
“What the fuck are you talking about? We broke up, I moved on. This isn’t your baby!”
Libby’s outburst was rewarded by a forceful smack across the face. The distinctive metallic taste of blood soon filled her mouth. She was shocked into silence.
“We were great together! We were happy; we were going to get married, have a family, and then… Brendon came along. Poisoning our relationship, turning you against me, stealing you for himself. No! I won’t let him take this away. I’ve brought you home baby… so we can be together.” Scott’s hand touched her bump and his eyes widened in glee. “Where we can be a family.”
This man was insane, Libby thought, realising the true danger of this situation. It was one thing having an ex that still held a candle towards you, but this was way beyond that. She knew Scott hadn’t taken the break up well, but since the split he’d clearly disappeared into a realm of utter delusion. The baby in her womb shifted, feeling the fear of its mother. Scott’s mouth twitched into an uncomfortable grin, feeling the child move. Libby daren’t say anything, it was clear he was unstable and there was no telling what might set him off.
“Rest up sweetie. I’ll get you some food, you must be hungry. Eating for two and all that.” Scott said cheerfully, removing his hand from her stomach and disappearing upstairs.
Libby looked down at her stomach and her handcuffed wrist. She didn’t feel hungry at all. Only nauseous.
~•~
Scott returned and brought her food. Libby didn’t say anything, didn’t move, too scared of accidentally provoking him. He left the tray of sandwiches and crisps on the side table next to the bed and disappeared upstairs, offering a firm “Eat” before he went.
Her memories had returned as she gradually came around from whatever drug Scott had administered. Brendon and Libby had decided to have a little trip away this weekend before the baby came. A baby-moon as they say. They’d told all their friends and family they’d be out of town and without signal for a few days, but this morning Brendon called to say he had a work emergency and they’d have to cancel. That was fine, Libby would just go visit her parents instead. Only she never got a chance to call her parents after the midwife appointment. Everyone thought her and Brendon were away, and Brendon thought she was at her parents - no one would realise she’d been kidnapped.
Her stomach rolled with fear. She needed to think, find a way out of here. Wherever “here” was…. Where the fuck had Scott taken her? She didn’t recognise the room, it could be anywhere. She looked over at the plate of food and her heart sank. She recognised the crockery - this was his family’s cabin, in the middle of the woods.
~•~
Days. She’d been there days. Her family and Brendon would hopefully know she was missing by now. But they’d never find her here.
Scott continued to visit, to bring her food, to talk the baby in her womb. He’d offered to bathe her once, disgusted by the thought she refused. When he tried to get more forceful, hitting her again, she faked practice labour pains and he thankfully left her alone to rest.
She barely spoke to him anymore, too fearful to say the wrong thing again, of which she had learnt the hard way. She tried once to play along with his delusion, that he had “rescued” her from Brendon and now they could be a family. Believing her, Scott eventually unlocked the handcuffs, but when she made a break for it towards the stairs of the basement Scott went ballistic. They got into a fight; she kicked and screamed and hit, but he was stronger and in the carnage she fell forward against the wooden stairs she was trying to climb.
Scott was stricter with the handcuffs after that. Libby swore to herself not to try it again for fear of what might happen to the baby if she fell again.
She had been feeling cramps ever since the fall. They weren’t too bad or debilitating, thankfully she wasn’t bleeding which Libby hoped was a good sign and that her baby was okay. The fall was a brutal reminder of the precious cargo she was carrying and she had to be careful.
The next night Libby was awoken by a forceful cramp rolling through her middle, much worse than any of the others she had felt. Curling round her stomach she breathed heavily through the wave until it passed, and she promptly fell back asleep.
It happened again shortly after, pulling her from her slumber and waking every cell of her body as it peaked, like a coil twisting tighter and tighter. She pushed herself up to sit on the bed. The room was pitch black - Scott controlled the lights and was the only way she knew if it was day or night. She rubbed the aching cramp rolling across her tightened belly with one hand, the other remaining chained to the bedpost. She wished she could move, to walk it off, but with the handcuffs and the darkness she had little options. Instead she got on her hands and knees and rocked steadily through the pain.
“Please be practice contractions…” she whispered to herself. “You can’t come now baby, you’re safe in there. Wait until we get outta here okay?”
The cramp eventually eased and after a few minutes waiting for the next, Libby let herself sink sideways back onto the bed. The baby had got the message, it was just practice pains, she thought to herself as she drifted back off to sleep.
~•~
The light to the basement flickered to life followed by the familiar stomping of feet on wooden steps.
“Morning sweetheart. How’s the mother of my child today?” Scott said in such a cheerful caring tone it caused a shiver to roll up Libby’s spine.
She glared at him from the bed, lying down under the covers half asleep and curled around her bump.
“Still not talking to me eh? Oh well. It won’t be long before I have a son or daughter to talk to.” Scott drawled, as he placed a cup of water and slice of toast onto the bedside table.
Another cramp squeezed her belly and Libby sucked in a breath, hissing through her teeth. She could feel her stomach hardening beneath her fingers as the practice contraction squeezed.
“Honey, are you alright?” Scott’s eyes pinched in cautious concern.
“Just a kick.” Libby said, schooling her face back to a neutral expression.
“Excited to meet their daddy no doubt.” He gleefully said making Libby feel sick.
This baby is NOT yours! She cried in her head.
“Get up and have some breakfast. I’ve got some things to show you today.” Scott said, offering a hand to help her up.
Libby ignored his hand and pushed herself upright. “What things?”
“All in good time my dear. It’s a surprise.” And with that he disappeared back upstairs with a gallop.
She could hear banging and thumping above her and wondered what on earth he was doing. Her stomach growled and she reluctantly nibbled on the toast that was provided. After eating she was left solely with her thoughts and the noises from upstairs. Plus the occasional cramps that continued to plague her. Sitting down became too frustrating and she managed to get herself to standing right beside the bed. Her arm was pulled uncomfortably far forward by the handcuffs, but at least it relieved the pressure in her hips.
The baby felt so low, like it was grinding on her pelvis. But she did feel like her breathing was better now. Libby tried to focus only on the positives and did not dwell enough to realise this meant the baby had dropped into position for birth.
She stayed standing as long as she could beside the bed, riding out the braxton hicks and swaying her hips side to side, but eventually her legs ached from the awkward position so she return to sit on the bed.
The practice contractions continued to wash over her whilst Scott was banging away upstairs. Libby was starting to get hot and sweaty and could barely sit still through them. She found herself biting her lips and humming through them, trying to keep the noise to a minimum. She didn’t want to attract Scott’s attention. She ended up back on all fours on the bed, one hand awkwardly attached to the bed while she rocked forwards and back through the rising waves. It was getting harder and harder to stay silent through these pains and it was getting more and more difficult to convince herself these were only practice contractions.
“Ohhhh… we had a deal baby. You have to s-stay in there…. It’s not s-safe…” Libby moaned quietly to her child, the pressure in her hips mounting with every contraction.
The sounds of movement from above made her panic. Scott was coming. Quickly, she moved from all fours and returned to her sitting position on the bed. Sitting down made everything worse - the heavily feeling of the baby so so low caused the pressure to spike. So much so she nearly threw up, gaging slightly at the same time Scott opened the basement door.
She could hear him huffing and puffing as he stomped every step, he was clearly struggling with something, and she saw the “surprise” before she saw him. It was a crib! Oh hell no, she thought to herself. There is no way my baby is being born here and it will never go in that thing.
“Darling…” he cooed as he got down to the basement “I got you something. Well, I got our baby something - a crib!” He said proudly as he placed it at the foot of the bed.
Libby didn’t say anything; saying something negative could earn her a slap, saying something positive he’d think she was up to something.
“Well?” He asked, clearly getting frustrated with her silence.
“It’s… nice.” She said timidly, he didn’t seem any calmer so she added “thank you.”
With that Scott broke into an unhinged smile. “Only the best for my baby. Made it myself!”
Libby felt the familiar tightening of another contraction approaching. Breathing steadily through her nose, she tried to keep any pain showing on her face.
“What do you think of the design?” He urged, unaware of the struggle happening inside Libby’s womb.
“Great.” She gritted out as calmly as she could.
“Oh, I almost forgot.” Scott rushed upstairs leaving Libby alone for a minute.
The second he was out of sight her eyes scrunched and she panted erratically. Her hips were on fire, the baby sinking lower and lower. This was no false alarm, Libby finally admitted to herself.
Scott came bounding downstairs with a pile of baby clothes and blankets. “I also got these. I wasn’t sure if we were having a boy or a girl so got a selection of different clothes. And lots of blankets and toys. Everything we could possibly need.”
Libby couldn’t help it but she groaned loudly and curled over her contracting stomach.
“They’re not that bad!” Scott said, referring to the pile of clothes he’d now dumped into the crib.
“Ooooooh Scott….” Libby whimpered, the pain still barrelling through her body.
“Lib? What is it? What’s wrong?” He crouched down in front of her and placed a hand on her knee.
“I think… hooooo- I think I’m in labour. You have to take me to the hospital.” Libby pleaded.
“What? Oh no, you’re not fooling me again.” Scott recoiled away from her, and started pacing. “You- you tried that before remember. And then you tried to run away, to take my baby away! You were going to leave me Lib! No!! I’m not letting you out of my sight again. No way. No one else can have you. You and that baby are mine!”
“Scott… please. I’m having contractions… I need help… I need doctors…”
“No… I can’t. You’re just going to leave me again. I can’t lose you.” Scott shook his head, like he was trying to reorganise the thoughts inside. “You’re just pretending again, you’re not really having the baby, you’re just trying to escape. Well you can’t trick me twice. Nuh-uh. I’ll come back when you’ve stopped the act.”
“No! Scott!” Libby cried but the door slammed before she could say anything else.
~•~
Libby shouted and pleaded for 10 minutes straight after Scott went upstairs, but he never came back down. She stopped when her voice started to crack and when she thought she heard the front door slam.
This baby was coming and she was trapped - handcuffed to a bed in a basement in the middle of nowhere, the only person for miles was her crazy ex boyfriend who was convinced the baby was his.
Despite her wishful thinking, the contractions just kept on coming. It was as if accepting they were real had made them more frequent and stronger. There was no clock down here, she had no clue how often they struck, but Libby was aware of the gaps in between getting shorter.
Being in labour was bad enough but the fact she couldn’t move due to her restraints made everything a thousand time’s worse. In desperation she tried to squeeze her hand out the metal handcuff, twisting and pulling, but when it started to peel the skin off the back of her hand she screamed and gave up.
She couldn’t sit down anymore, the pain in her hips too great. All fours was bearable but her arms ached after too long. She tried squatting and kneeling against the headboard, standing and swaying beside the bed. Nothing helped. She felt like a caged animal; frustrated, angry, scared. All the while every contraction brought the baby closer and closer to being born, a fate she was trying desperately to avoid. She feared something might go wrong, and she was scared what would happen the moments after she delivered. Scott was clearly unstable, would he leave her here chained to the bed bleeding out and take away her baby?! She needed medical help, not only for the birth but for her best shot at escaping.
When Scott returned he found her on her knees beside the bed, slumped over the mattress and groaning heavily.
“You can stop this charade Libby! I’m not taking you anywhere!” Scott shouted from the steps of the basement.
“Mnnnghhh! It’s not a charade Scott! Oh god…. So much pressure….” Libby whimpered into the mattress, her knees widening instinctually.
“Come off it. You put on a good show but I know you’re faking it.”
Libby could only grunt, roaring against the building pressure between her thighs. An unmistakable splashing sound hit the concrete floor and she cried out. “My waters…. Hooo- I’m not - faking - it…” she panted and turned around to face him.
Scott’s face had paled and his eyebrows shot up. “Y-you really are in labour?”
“Yes,” Libby breathed, turning around awkwardly with the handcuffs and her large bump, sitting down heavily on the now-wet floor “please please take me to the hospital now.”
He didn’t say anything, instead he disappeared quickly back upstairs.
“Scott!!!” She cried out, worried he would just leave her there forever.
He returned a moment later carrying a plastic box. “It’s happening! Don’t worry darling, I have everything we need for our baby to be born.”
It’s not your baby!!!! Libby shouted in her head.
Sitting on the floor, one arm slung up over a shoulder stuck in the handcuffs, she rubbed her low and heavy stomach with the other as Scott began to unpack the box onto the table opposite.
“Towels. Gloves. Scissors. Clamps. Ooh more towels. Little sucker thing. Wow it’s got everything we need in here. Great Amazon find.” Scott commented as he rattled off everything inside the box.
Holy shit! He wants to deliver the baby here! Libby stopped breathing for a moment, panic squeezing at her heart. He was never going to let her go. She was never going to get her baby out of here before it was born.
“Scott… you can’t… be serious…” Libby said with strained breath.
“Shhhhh. It’s okay sweetie. I’ve done all the research, watched loads of videos. I know exactly what I’m doing and I will deliver our baby here.”
“But Scott I need a hospital, with nurses and medication.”
“No you don’t. Women birth babies every day. I’ve had months to prepare for this. It’s going to be fine, it’s going to be perfect.” Scott’s sinister smile chilled her resolve and another contraction struck before she could continue arguing.
He checked his watched and frowned. “You shouldn’t be having another contraction just yet.”
“I can’t hooooo control it!” Libby snipped.
“Oooo is this the part where you get all angry at me for doing this to you?” Scott joked with glee.
“You didn’t do this to me! This isn’t your baby Scott, please just let me go.”
“Don’t lie!!!!!” Scott shouted, an angry fire flashed briefly in his eyes and his fists clenched tight, but a second later the ire quickly disappeared. “You’re just scared, but it’s okay sweetie, I’m here and our baby will be fine.”
“Ohhh god…..” Libby grunted, the baby slipping lower and pressing against her cervix. She had to move, this position was unbearable, but her legs were useless during the raging contraction. She tried to push herself up, yanking her hands forward but the handcuff rattled and left her arm twisted backwards. “Mnnhhh- handcuffs…. Please undo the handcuffs…”
“You know I can’t do that Lib.” Scott said reluctantly.
“Please…. Mnghhhhh the baby…. I need to move. Can’t stay like this Scott…” Libby groaned and whimpered as the contraction peaked and gradually faded.
“I’m sorry honey, I can’t risk it. But let’s get you back onto the bed shall we, you’ll be much more comfortable there.”
The contraction had left her winded, Libby didn’t have the strength to argue anymore. But when Scott approached and went to help her up she managed to grit “Don’t touch me!” batting his advancing hands away.
“That’s gonna be difficult when I’m delivering our child.” Scott sarcastically replied.
Libby’s stomach rolled, not from a contraction but at the disgusting thought of Scott between her legs. Nausea bubbled inside, rising up her throat. She retched. “I think I’m gonna be sick…”
Scott jumped back as she dry heaved. “Erm…. I’ll get a bucket. Hang on.”
Libby struggled up to her knees, clinging sideways to the bed, and vomited all over the floor. The force of her stomach expelling its contents pushed the baby against her dilating cervix and towards the birth canal. She couldn’t stop herself from bearing down at the same time.
No no no… don’t push. Her brain cried but it wasn’t something she had control over.
By the time Scott returned with a bucket Libby had crawled back into the bed, leaving behind a puddle of amniotic fluid and vomit on the floor.
“Jeeze Libby, you’ve made a right mess. I’m glad we’re down here now, that would have been a nightmare to clean the carpets upstairs.”
“…water…” Libby panted, curled up on the bed and holding her hardened stomach, too exhausted to do anything other than bear through the labour pains tearing apart her body.
“Okay, sure.” Scott picked up the glass from the table and gently poured it into Libby’s dry mouth. “Everything will be okay Libby, our baby is nearly here.” He whispered, placing a grimy hand onto her bump and feeling the swell, his eyes hungrily lighting up as his fingers caressed the curve.
~•~
She was dying. This was how it would end; trapped in the dirty basement of her crazy ex boyfriend. She never got to meet her baby, or get married, never got to buy her own home, or travel the world. The pain was so much she could barely see. Curled up on the bed Libby groaned into the pillow as the latest contraction squeezed her body in on itself. She was vaguely aware of Scott flapping around the room, he was talking but she couldn’t hear what he was saying. The only thing she could focus on was the mass of the baby’s head sitting right behind her opening, and she was doing everything she could not to push.
The last few hours had been torture. She’d thrashed around the bed, screaming and begging to be freed, to be taken to the hospital. When transition hit she was brought back onto all fours, grunting and pushing without any semblance of control. Scott rubbed her back and encouraged her through it. She didn’t have the strength to bat him off but she did manage to aim her next round of vomiting onto his feet. And all the while Scott refused to unlock the handcuffs and she remained chained to the bed.
Now she was lying on her side over the covers, exhausted, her body completely and utterly drained. Her knees were curled up as much as she could, her bump squashed between her thighs and her breasts. The contractions were right on top of each other and she panted heavily through each one.
Don’t push! Don’t push! Don’t push! she told herself again and again.
“Right, the waters boiled, everything’s disinfected. Clamps and scissors ready. Towel, check. All we need now… is the baby…” Scott muttered, organising and reorganising the equipment.
Ever since the well-timed vomit, he had kept a grateful distance from Libby. He looked through all the toys and clothes in the crib, talking about all the things he would do with his child, trips they’d make, sports they’d play. He was in his own little world, Libby was just a background character.
Relentless contractions kept hitting her one after the other, she breathed as quietly as she could, tears leaking past her lashes from the effort it was taking not to push. She could feel the baby start to stretch her lips, the head inching further and further even without her active pushing. He’d removed her underwear not long after her waters had broken but her dress remained on her sweaty body, thankfully covering her lower half as she laid on the bed. Libby’s legs slightly parted of their own accord as the baby slipped lower. Still curled up on her side, the baby had a clear exit from its mother, but she couldn’t bring herself to move. Scott was ignoring her when she was lying like this and it was the only position that didn’t make her scream. And yet it also proved to be aiding her delivery.
When the next contraction barrelled straight after its predecessor Libby found herself holding her breath and it was only when the burning feeling started that she realised she was pushing. But she couldn’t stop. Gasping another breath she pushed once more, the baby stretching her wider and wider. An involuntary grunt escaped the labouring mother and alerted Scott to her actions.
“Are you…. Libby - are you pushing?! Is it time?” Scott jumped and rushed over to the bed.
Libby curled further over, her face burying into the pillow, squashing her bump and raising her backside. She groaned long and deep as she pushed the baby further out.
“Oh babe, you can’t push like that! You need to get in the correction position for delivery.” Scott said assuredly with all the delusional confidence his “research” had given him.
He took her bent leg, rolling her over onto her back and she screamed. “Scott! No!” The pain was excruciating, her spine was being stabbed, the fire burning between her thighs. She needed to push but she couldn’t when he kept moving her body.
“You need to be in the right position. Come on now, I know what I’m doing.”
“Stop… I can’t… I need to push…” Libby grunted.
“Wait a minute darling, you’re not ready just yet.”
Scott pulled her up to a sitting position and pushed her back against the headboard, pointlessly fluffing the limp old pillows behind her. Her legs were dragged apart and knees were bent and he jumped onto the foot of the bed and looked up her dress.
“Oh my gosh I can see the head!!!” He squealed. He threw her dress up higher, creasing the fabric just below her baby bump, fully exposing Libby’s vagina and the oval shaped crown of the head.
“Push Libby! You can push now!” He urged.
“I’m not-having a contraction-” Libby panted, furious she had been moved into this ridiculous and torturous position. Nothing about it felt right to her body, she wanted to go back on her side, to kneel, squat, anything but this.
“Oh… erm… well on the next one then. Push. No wait, I forgot the equipment.” Scott bounced off the bed and collected all the sterilised equipment he’d been preparing in readiness. “Ha! All that excitement, nearly forgot these.” He placed the items next to him, by her feet. The metal scissors glinted as they caught the light.
A desperate idea began to form in her head, but a contraction soon swept over her and pulled her focus to the burning ring between her thighs.
“Yes!!! Go on Libby! Push!!!” Scott cried.
Curling forward Libby pushed, her body squeezing the baby lower, its head stretching her wider. She grabbed her thighs, gulped another breath, and pushed. The scissors caught the light again with the movement on the bed. If she could just grab them…
“It’s coming, keep it going honey!” Scott yelled and she could feel his trembling hand between her legs.
Libby huffed releasing the push. It was too much, it was too big…
“Come on baby, go again, you’re so close.” Scott urged.
“Hooo-hoooo- okay…. Here it comes….!!!!” Libby threw herself forward curling over her bump once more. With Scott’s focus on the crowning baby she quickly grabbed the scissors and hid them in the gathered fabric of her dress. She screamed as the baby reached a full crown. Panting frantically her body twitched as the baby stretched her so wide she thought she’d be torn in two. Then it slipped further and with a sudden wail the baby’s head was delivered.
“Wow! The heads out, my baby’s head is born.” Scott awed.
Leaning closer his hands trembled towards the newly born head sitting between her thighs. No! You are not touching my baby! Libby thought, and she grabbed the hidden scissors and plunged them straight into Scott’s neck as she released an animalistic maternal wail.
Scott’s eyes bulged out, roaring in agony as the sharp scissors pierced deep into his muscles. He jumped back, standing for the briefest second staring in horror at her, before collapsing to his knees. A drowning choked sound gargled his throat and when he pulled the scissors from his neck the jets of blood sprayed across the room.
Libby watched, in shock at what she’d just done, as Scott clutched his neck, choking and bleeding. After a few strangled seconds he collapsed face first on the ground.
“Oh my god… oh my god….” Libby trembled, adrenaline and fear pumping through every cell in her body. She had to get out of there.
Twisting awkwardly around, she held the handcuff steady with her free hand and pulled her other through the tiny gap. The skin ripped from her hand, the metal scraping bone, she yelled out in pain but didn’t stop pulling until her bloodied hand was free.
It was as if she had left her physical body, the pain a dull echo compared to the survival instinct to get out of this basement. “I’m gonna get you outta here…” she panted, putting a gentle hand over the baby’s head between her legs. She scrambled off the bed, legs bowed as she cupped the head, and rushed toward the stairs of the basement.
Libby was careful, her previous encounter with this wooden staircase not ending well, climbing wide legged step after step towards freedom. She barely made it halfway when she was struck by another contraction. Holding the head with one hand and gripping the bannister tight with the other, her body squatted as it tried to push.
“Mnghhhhhhh! Oohhhhhh hang on baby…. Mnghhhhhh…. Not yet.” She could feel herself pushing hard, the shoulders starting to press against her, itching to come out, but with a firm hand and heavy panting she made it through the contraction.
When she reached upstairs she was surprised how familiar it all was, Scott had taken her here once when they were dating. It wasn’t much, the furniture and decor were dated, but it was a nice family holiday home in a nice rural location. She shuddered when she thought of the secret prison that was hidden below her feet.
Being familiar with the property made her escape easier, she knew the layout and of course where he kept the keys - in the side dish by the fridge. Grabbing the car keys Libby headed for the door and threw it open. But the baby didn’t want to wait any longer.
She hung on to the doorframe for dear life as the raging contraction took hold. “No no no!!!! We’re so close mnnnnnghhhhhh!!!!” Her legs widened as she squatted, pushing uncontrollably against the wall of her hand that held the baby’s head. The shoulders were slipping through… she could feel them stretching… “Ohhh fuck!” She cried, desperately pushing and holding the baby in at the same time.
When the near constant contraction let up just the tiniest bit, Libby made a break for it and ran to the car, both hands between her legs cupping the emerging baby. Unlocking the car with the press of the button she threw open the back door and clambered inside. She quickly locked the door, scared that Scott would somehow still be coming after her, and when she heard the reassuring click of the locks she huffed an exhausted cry.
But the baby was coming, and it was coming now. On her hands and knees in the back seat Libby finally gave in to nature and pushed in earnest, grunting long and deep as the shoulders stretched and slipped out. Lifting up onto her knees to catch the infant she released a primal roar with the final push and the baby slipped into her bloodied hands.
“Ohhhhhh hey baby, it’s okay it’s okay. I’ve got you.” Libby cried, pulling the little boy to her chest. Wiping his face clear he gave a little cough and started crying, soon matched with the tears of his mother.
“We did baby, we got out.” Libby panted and cried, safe with her baby inside the locked car. After a few minutes she wrapped the baby up against her chest with the towel, umbilical cord still connecting mother and child, and she hesitantly opened the door and got into the drivers seat. Starting the engine, Libby drove herself and her new baby to safety.
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onyourowndaisymae · 1 year ago
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don't mind me... just thinking about the demon brothers slowly dropping the rest of their roster for you as they fall head over heels...
lucifer // mammon // levi // satan // asmo // beel (you are here) // belphie -- others coming soon, NSFW warning below, gn!reader
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beelzebub, who doesn't have the capacity to get to know you in the way he should. it seems that every season of his life comes with heartbreaking turmoil, and he just has to get used to that feeling of emptiness in his stomach. first, with the celestial war, he lost lilith. now, as the exchange program began, he had to say goodbye to his twin brother for an entire year. he hopes you don't take it personally-- he just can't spare the mental or emotional energy to embrace your arrival like he should.
beelzebub, who can't thank you enough for the way you've repaired his family. he never would have suspected that you had been forming the pacts with his brothers to release belphie from the attic. a small, nervous part of him wonders if you had been nice to him just to get his pact, that you didn't mean all those things you said-- but he knows you. even if you had been lying, you did it for the right reasons. and after all, everything worked out, right? you're here, belphie's back, and the months since his twin's return have been nothing but happy. you have single-handedly stitched his patchwork family back together. beel can't find a way to show how important all you've done for his family really means, but he'll keep trying anyways.
beelzebub, who likes you a lot, actually. he's never been too keen romance. most of his interactions had been spurred on by the other party. he's been attracted to people who are kind yet self-assured, seeking him out first. all of his experiences in crushes, in romance, in bed, have all been a game of follow the leader-- not due to a lack of interest on his part, but because of trauma-ridden aloofness that caused him to focus on the things he still had. romance never topped the priority list... at least, not until it came to you. beel saw you as a member of the family for a long time, longer than he maybe should have. but there's something special about you. something about you that makes him love you differently than he does his brothers. he just wants to have you around, always, sharing meals and movies and glances across the dinner table that make his brothers squirm. he's finally found someone special in his life-- someone he's going to give romance a try for.
beelzebub, who has never been good at controlling his appetite. it hits him at the worst of times, constantly, gnawing at his insides until he can't ignore it. that was why he is stuck in this position. a hunger brews in him, all adrenaline from the latter half of the fangol game and lust, and-- fuck, he needs relief. water beats loudly against the tiles, disguising the deep growl in his throat as he tugs impatiently at his aching cock once, twice, listening hard to make sure no one else was still in the locker room. he listens until he couldn't anymore, until his hand began to move impatiently on its own, another growl rumbling in his chest before he relents and begins pleasuring himself. his mind wanders to you, on the railing of the bleachers, screaming your lungs out in support of his team, feet pounding against the metal steps as you jumped about. you were there for him, cheering for him, watching his every move. he imagines you creeping in to reward him after everyone else left, perched on your knees on the locker room floor, wide eyes watching him with so much love as you swallow his cock, plush lips wrapped around his shaft as you take him as far as you can. just the thought makes his cock throb in his hand. he didn't have long to finish himself off and head out, but his mind couldn't help but linger on the image a bit longer...
beelzebub, whose date night just got a whole lot better. the two of you had spent the evening at hell's kitchen eating your fill (or in beel's case, eating them out of stock) then coming back to the house of lamentation for a movie. but your hand began to wander during the movie-- not towards the snacks, which he offered you several times as your gaze began to wander, but to his upper thigh. your fingers creep in further, until you're brushing against the seam of his pants. he hardens at your touch, your gaze, the steady sound of your breathing next to him. he shoots you a curious look. he quietly warns you that yours fingers are touching him in a particular place-- surely you know that already? you nod. he wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you onto his lap. his view of the screen may be obstructed, but it's obvious that the movie has fallen to the wayside for now. it's him that takes the initiative to guide your hips into a steady grind against his own, little gasps escaping yours lips as he watches you more intently than he ever did the screen. grinding turns to kissing and kissing turns to grabbing, his big hands grabbing at your sides, your ass, your thighs, spreading you open for him. his fingers slip past the waistline of your pants and begin to toy with your sex through your underwear. you begin to tug at his sweatpants, desperately reaching for his cock while rutting into his hand. his cock springs free-- fuck, he's massive-- and you whine for it. you tugged your pants off in a few hurried movements. he tries to warn you about needing more prep, but his words die in his throat as you whimper for it, tell him how much you need him. his eyes and mind both glaze over with lust as gathers your juices and scissors them inside of your entrance, reaching deeper and deeper as you grip his broad shoulders and moan. when you're ready, he lines you up over his cock and lets your sink onto his length. you're so tight and soft and his head is spinning. fuck. the drag of his cock through your insides makes him groan. he doesn't even realize he's pinned your back against the couch until you look up at him with wide eyes and murmur his name. he starts to pull back, but you repeat his name-- your tone is laced with lust, hands reaching for him to come closer, and he does. he hovers close enough to brush his lips against your ear and apologize. you're a strong human, right? you can handle a little roughness? his hips pull back then thrust roughly into you, making your vision blur for just a moment, before he begins a truly sinful pace. a new sort of appetite brews within him-- and you know he's never been good at resisting his gluttonous urges.
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taglist for this series: @the-demonus-aunt // @scienceisfornerds // @hostilemakeover // @snow-fall1 // @kachan890 // @rphantom1 // @respitable
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consciousgordiacea · 1 month ago
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I'M GONNA TAKE A BREAK FOR THE REST OF THE NIGHT TO GET SOME CHORES DONE WHILE EVERYONE IS ASLEEP. CURRENT SITUATION IS AS FOLLOWS:
EMILY'S ON THE MEND SLOWLY BUT SURELY. I'VE BEEN ACTING AS HER RECOVERY NURSE IN SHIFTS WITH MILTON ASSISTING SOMETIMES. THAT EXORCISM TOOK A LOT OUT OF ME BUT IT REALLY REALLY TOOK A LOT OUT OF HER. SHE'S HAD TO DEAL WITH ENTIRE CHUNKS OF MEMORIES BEING RIPPED OUT OF HER HEAD DUE TO THE PLUSHIE'S REMOVAL. I FEEL FOR HER A LOT AND I'M DOING MY BEST TO TAKE CARE OF HER WHILE SHE RECOVERS.
MILTON'S MENTAL HEALTH SEEMS TO BE APPROACHING SOME LEVEL OF STABILITY. HE SMILED FOR THE FIRST TIME (THAT I'VE SEEN) LAST NIGHT DURING OUR MOVIE HANGOUT. I'M VERY PROUD OF HIM. HE'S BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH AND I'M EXCITED TO SEE HIM GROW AND THRIVE AS A PERSON NOW THAT HE HAS A CHOICE OVER HIS OWN FUTURE.
I'VE MANAGED TO KEEP THE PEACE BETWEEN EVERYONE HERE. IF IT WEREN'T FOR ME, MILTON PROBABLY WOULD HAVE MAULED ATHENA AGAIN. I'VE GROWN AS A PERSON A LOT IN THE TWO MONTHS I'VE BEEN ALIVE. TRY AS I MIGHT, I JUST CAN'T HELP CARING SO GODDAMN MUCH ABOUT EVERYONE. I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S A FLAW. IT JUST MAKES ME HAPPY SEEING EVERYONE ELSE'S SITUATIONS IMPROVING AND I'M GLAD I COULD BE A PART OF IT.
I'VE BEEN GETTING TO KNOW SAGE BETTER NOW THAT WE'VE BEEN PROPERLY INTRODUCED. SHE'S COOL BUT VERY ALOOF. I CAN SEE WHY PEOPLE LIKE HER. I JUST WISH I COULD APPROACH WITHOUT FEELING LIKE I'M WALKING ON EGGSHELLS.
ATHENA HASN'T REALLY BEEN TALKING TO ANYONE BESIDES SAGE. I'M NOT A BIG FAN OF HER BECAUSE OF HOW SHE TREATED MILTON, BUT I HAVE TO RESPECT SARA'S SPACE.
SARA'S JUST BEEN BUSY WITH WORK, BUT WE'VE MANAGED TO HANG OUT A BIT. I'M EXCITED FOR OUR MUSIC RELEASE. YOU'RE ALL REALLY GONNA LIKE IT!
THE PLUSHIE IS STILL CONTAINED WITHIN THE APPLEJACK FIGURE. I PUT IT IN A JAR SO IT COULDN'T ESCAPE. HE IS NOT HAPPY ABOUT THIS.
OVERALL, I'VE BEEN BUSY, BUT THE WORK IS REWARDING. I'M HOPEFUL THAT THE FUTURE HOLDS SOMETHING GOOD FOR ALL OF US.
LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH.
PEACE ON PLANET EARTH.
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gatitties · 1 year ago
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Hmmm let's see, since I'm feeling romantic, something inspired in Marilyn Monroe and Princess Diana!
how about a YN who has the beauty inspired of Marylin Monroe (not necessarily the same or exactly the same, but I say an extremely beautiful person) and with the sweet heart of Princess Diana.
•°°°•°•°•°•^•°
✧⁠*⁠。YN, who abandoned her role as a princess, to live on many adventures with Luffy, who won YN's kind heart.
All te people are amazed, even being a rival of Hancock, YN acted in movies , theaters and was a very welcome person in all corners of the world, YN was a good form of financial income on the Mugiwara ship, YN was someone so charming that she won the hearts of the Yonko and Shichibukai (you know me, needless to say💞😔💞)
But! due to YN's misfortune, one of the celestial dragons wants to marry YN, and they are constantly chasing YN, as well as pirates and bandits, as much as YN is strong, YN lived in constant danger, as she was always persecuted for being famous and extremely affectionate he was also very smart
even though he's young, he's already responded to Shank's sly and affectionate compliments and that he's already had drinks with the redhead, as well as not dispensing with good tea with Mihawk.
but, in addition to her theatrics being comedy, YN harbored many insecurities to herself, YN was someone who never felt genuine approval, who always wondered if she really deserved to be friends with the Mugiwaras and travel with them, but she loved them so much , and it frustrated her too many times.
YN always thanked Luffy at certain times for letting YN join the crew, as Luffy didn't know how happy it made her to see her teammates waiting for YN after a long day on an island.
YN also liked to give gifts to everyone YN could, whether from Shanks or even Whitebeard, who also had a lot of affection and respect for his faithful companions. YN simply loved and protected everyone they loved, even with Hancock's intrigues, which YN took advantage of and made jealous to piss her off.
YN running away from arranged marriages and making new stories, however much their emotional and mental problems could shake, the Mugiwaras in particular, always cheered YN up somehow, Brook singing and encouraging YN to sing, Luffy taking YN's hands and starting a nonsensical and strange but fun dance, Franky doing SUPER cool things to impress YN, Nami and Robin being kind and teaching new things, as well as YN teaching them how to act in certain moments of danger, Chopper being cute and letting YN hugging, Usopp making jokes, Zoro just making YN drink with him and Sanji bringing wonderful food and juice ✧⁠*⁠。
( sorry if it's long, hope you understand, do it if you want, have a nice day!)
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─Shanks & Mihawk x fem!reader
─Summary: the peaceful life with little adventures that you were looking for always turns into chases, luckily you can always have a rest with two of your favorite people
─Warnings: none
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"Will you go again?"
You smiled at Luffy's pout as you once again grabbed your trusty backpack to head to a small boat moored to the Thousand Sunny.
"Yes, I've already spent a couple of months with you all, plus I have an island to go to, they need staff for a play."
He nodded, still frowning, you said goodbye to him briefly before setting sail, the others found out later, you didn't like goodbyes so normally you would leave the ship to come and go whenever you wanted, Luffy didn't have many complaints since you were part of the crew since you ran away from your kingdom, abandoning your position as princess to go on adventures.
The thing is that your eagerness for the movies and the theater made you have to travel more constantly and get away from the Mugiwaras, at least you knew how to manage to fight or dodge the marines or pirates most of the time, since you had a reward for your head, not only that, but the last news you received, more like a threat, was that a celestial dragon wanted to ask for your hand in marriage. Despite being young, you had run away from many arranged marriages and this would be no exception.
After several days you arrived on the island, luckily there was no unwanted person waiting for you and you were able to tour the town warming the hearts of the people with whom you stopped to ask about the place. It didn't last long though because word spread fast, forcing you to keep a low profile for the rest of your stay until the day of the play.
Not everything is so bad when word gets out about your location, apart from marines, thieves or ruffians looking to take advantage of you or your reward, your friends also know where they can find you. You were a well-known person, either for your person in the world of acting or for your old role in your kingdom, not all you encountered after that were persecutions and dangers, you always met some of your friends on your days away of the Thousand Sunny.
"I don't know why I keep accepting."
"Aw come on, you always have a good time with me."
"Sure, whatever."
Mihawk crossed his arms, not looking at Shanks, both of them on their way to the bar in the town where you were, the swordsman's reasons went beyond sharing a drink with the redhead, although Shanks himself was also here because he found out that you would act tonight in a play. While the two men were spending the afternoon drinking, you were going over the last lines of your script, you didn't expect to see them there today, since they were usually busy with their Yonko and Warlord titles, you were unaware that these two would go to the end of the world to look for you if necessary.
You had to erase the goofy smile that grew on your face when you saw them sitting in the audience, focusing on your role once you went on stage, unfortunately halfway through the play a group of pirates broke in threatening you to go with them in a 'nice' way if you didn't want to be subjected to force.
There were few things that really bothered you, but one thing you never tolerated was someone interrupting your performances, even though Shanks and Mihawk were there, they stayed in their seats with a smile as they watched you use the stage set to hit and scold the pirates for having interrupted the play.
Luckily there were no more inconveniences and you were able to finish your work, the small anger quickly passed when you saw that those two were waiting for you at the back exit, you greeted them with your best smile and a warm hug.
"What are you two doing here? I thought you guys were busy or something, nice to see you again."
"We heard some rumors and I dragged Mihawk here with me, you know this guy needs to hang out more often."
The swordsman rolled his eyes, offering you his jacket since night had fallen a couple of hours ago and the wind was starting to get colder, you thanked him silently as you placed it on your shoulders.
"Yeah, he should travel and socialize more, why don't you join me in my next destination?"
You elbowed his arm with a mocking smile, he looked at you silently sighing, his head shaking slowly.
"I have places to be, but I wouldn't mind being with you."
"Me neither…"
The redhead put his hand to his heart pretending to be stabbed, he grabbed your shoulder dramatically, pulling you slightly.
"Why don't you offer me to travel with you?! I would also like to go with you."
"Because you have a crew to turn to, he doesn't."
Shanks pouted, looking at you with puppy dog eyes, giving his partner a dirty look without you noticing, though you caught him in the act which made you smile at his antics, you patted his shoulder pushing him to start walking.
"I'll think about it, but for now, why don't we go to the bar? I will invite to a couple of rounds."
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bell4lan · 2 years ago
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Thank You For The Meal!
Genre: Smut
DNI: NON-MLM/NBLM, fujoshis, mlm/nblm fetishizers, trans fetishizers
CW: Cunnilingus, feminine words used for privates, masculine words used for the clit, reader is called sir/master, gorou is called puppy and good boy once
Character(s)/Reader: Gorou and Trans Male Reader
You sat at your desk with your head in your hands, desperately trying to think of something to write down. You were an author, and had promised Yae Publishing House that you'd get 3 chapters finished in a week because you were behind schedule. However, you lacked inspiration. You had no clue what to write, you didn't even know what the story should be about. People seemed to like action and adventure, but you had already written books like those. It was boring writing the same thing over and over again, and you were sure consumers wouldn't want to read recycled stories.
You sighed before looking at the stack of books you had gotten for research. You thought reading would help get that creative energy flowing, but you were exhausted from thinking all day long. Your brain didn't feel like reading, you had no clue what to do. You decided to just pick up a book and read it anyway, you couldn't waste any time if you wanted to get this done.
You were so absorbed in your work that you didn't hear the door open or the light footsteps coming towards you. You jumped at the sudden hand on your shoulder, quickly glancing up at the person who it belonged to.
"Sorry (Name), did I scare you?" Gorou, your boyfriend, asked softly. He saw how messy your desk was, papers thrown about and a pile of books in the corner. His look of slight surprise from scaring you had morphed into one of worry.
"Y-yeah you did. It's not your fault though, i've been so caught up in writing I didn't hear you." You explained as you quickly cleaned up your desk once you saw his expression. Gorou started to comfortingly rub your shoulders, his tail wagging slowly behind him.
"Have you really been doing this all day? No breaks?" He asked.
"Yes- well, no. I had my lunch break and well bathroom breaks but thats about it." You said, trying to word it in a way that doesn't make him even more worried.
"You need to take mental breaks too." He pouted as he spoke, clearly not happy with how you've been treating yourself. You spun around in your chair and wrapped your arms around his waist, looking up at him.
"You're right Gorou, I'm sorry." You kissed his chest softly after you spoke. His left ear twitched slightly from the kiss, a faint blush painted his cheeks.
"Just take better care of yourself okay? You feel tense." He scolded lightly. You nodded before resting your head against his chest, hearing his heart speed up from the touch. It made you smile knowing that even after being together for a while, you could still make his heart race.
Gorou moved to your lap, answering all the questions you had about his day as he ran his fingers through your hair.
"You're still pretty tense. Would you like some help?" Gorou asked politely.
"Yes, but how would you help me?"
A light blush spread across his cheeks, making you confused.
"Can...I give you head?" He asked shyly, tail swaying a bit faster. His question took you by surprise. You hadn't expected that his method to help you destress would be sexual, not that you minded though.
"Of course you can. I'll give you a reward too." You said, smiling up at him.
"Y-you don't have to do anything. I'm doing this for you, plus giving you pleasure makes me feel good too." He admitted quietly while fidgeting with your shirt. You smiled more and gave him a small kiss on the lips.
"If we're going to do this, i'd rather do it on the bed." You said. Gorou nodded and got off your lap, patiently waiting for you to get in a comfortable position. You decided to sit on the edge of the bed instead of laying down, and pat your thigh so Gorou would come to you. Gorou walked over and kneeled between your legs, undoing the string on your sweats and pulling them down.
Gorou messily licked at your thighs, tail picking up a bit of speed. You couldn't help but chuckle at his eagerness, he looked so cute getting all excited because he was going to give you head.
He pulled off your boxers, licking his lips on instinct from seeing your cunt. He looked up at you with a pleading look in his eyes.
"May I sir?" He asked.
"Of course, go ahead." You said, spreading your legs a bit wider to welcome him. He smiled and trailed soft kisses down your pussy, giving a long lick back up to your t-dick. After getting a taste, he didn't hold back. He started to skillfully lap at your arousal, only looking at your cunt as he did. You sighed heavily from the stimulation, your earlier tension melting away as you felt Gorou's wet tongue lick you up.
You moved your dominant hand to his head, pushing him further into your pussy earning a cute whine in return. You looked down to see Gorou's bright red face and pointed up ears, his eyes were focused only on your sex. You found it so adorable how you could tell just how aroused he was from his ears and eyes. He had such a soft, needy look in his eyes as he ate you up. This combined with his soft moans made you even more wet than before.
"Y-You gotta give my dick more attention babe." You stuttered out as you looked down at him. He pulls away a bit, your arousal sticking to his face.
"I'm sorry sir." He said before quickly going back to your pussy, making sure to lick and suck at your t-dick. He moaned as he saw your thighs shake. Knowing that he made you squirm had him feeling rewarded, like he accomplished something great. He inserted his tongue into your hole and looked up at you, letting out a loud whine as he saw your blissed out face. His tail wagged excitedly and he continued to eat you out, not caring at all about the mess on his face.
"Sh-shit Gorou, i'm gonna cum puppy." You warned, looking down at him. Gorou pulled his tongue out and started lapping at your folds again, humming around your dick once he reached it. He moved his thumb to your cock and stroked it quickly, pulling away to speak.
"Cum on my face please please master I need you to cum on my face!" He pleaded, looking up at you as he went back to eating you out. You groaned at his words and kept his head in place as you felt yourself grow closer and closer. His movements turned more desperate, wanting so badly for you to cum.
Your moans got louder, thighs quivering as you finally released onto Gorou's face. He let out the loudest moan as you did, his mouth not leaving your cunt until you finished orgasming. He stopped touching your t-dick and continued to lap at you until he licked up as much cum as he could. You twitched from the overstimulation, almost pushing him away so you could calm down.
"Fuck that was so good, you've been such a good boy tonight." You panted out as you ran your hand through his hair. He pulled away from your pussy, strands of your cum connecting to his face. All around his mouth was shiny, making you chuckle.
"You're such a messy eater Gorou. Are you sure you don't want anything in return?" You teased. Gorou nodded, seemingly embarrassed about something. You observed his body, seeing a wet patch in his pants.
"Did you cum just from giving your master head?" You teased. Gorou flushed a deep red as he looked down in shame. You lifted his chin so he'd be looking up at you, and gave him a kiss on the forehead.
"You were good today, so i'll let it slide." You whispered and smirked. Gorou smiled shyly and got up, helping you clean up because your legs were so weak from the orgasm he gave you.
After you both cleaned up, you looked back at your desk and smiled. "Maybe I should write a smut book." You joked. Gorou just shook his head with a small smile.
---------------------------------------------------
This had been on my mind all day. I had to write it. I'm 100% a believer in the fact that Gorou would be eager to please his s/o ^^. I might post this on ao3 too because it's one of my more smutty ones.
This is definitely getting flagged.
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chiyoso · 1 year ago
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update
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hi pookie. to those who read this the first time, welcome back, this is a re-write. an update. i kinda found the initial update i did rushed, not clearly descriptive of my situation outside this writing hobby of mine. also for the ones that i tagged, i have notes for you <3 (sorry for the tag 🫶🏻)
alright. hello hello. i'm chiyo, a jjk-focused/sporadic genshin and hsr fanfic writer, and you've caught me, and this blog in such bad time, and im so, so very fucking burnt out.
writing for me should be fun, stress relieving, and that goes for any other hobby i have. i have been told and supported countless of times to take a rest, to take a break from this, but my stubborn ass continues to try and get something out, anything to keep my blog alive, hells, it feels like a toxic relationship where i keep coming back, because i remember all the fun, happy and fond times i had in this app, only then to return to why it becomes draining, exhausting.
just sat there, occasionally laid on my back, using my phone, but with unmoving thumbs, with a brain lacking the world that needs the narrative to make a story, fuck, where has it gone?
that innocent, startup of mine, the newfound love and interest for that world of fiction that you all create. dude, i remember being so happy discovering that this brain of mine can conjure up so many shit, all because of your words, it's fucking amazing. hence, the start of the era of my honkai star rail writing journey. (hsr/hi3rd fans who followed me, i let you down with my jujutsu kaisen brainrot obsession im sorry lmao)
“take a break hira,” “take a break chiyo,” “please, take a break.”
i've heard it all, and with utmost love and respect, thank you.
thank you for everything, every word, every action, and every peep of interest you all had for me. small and big creators, who, stopped by because of my small percent chance drop in on their feed, because of the stories i created that you shared, i've met so many wonderful, inspring and motivating people in tumblr, fuck, i didn't expect to crrate a little community all by myself, with my grit alone, it's so rewarding for someone who strives for perfection, for someone who struggles with her mental health daily, for someone who deluded themselves in a world of fiction, I can't express my genuine gratitude enough.
i'm not quitting. maybe i should've mentionrd that earlier to prevent you from getting rattled, but continuing off, i don't find myself quitting this writing journey, maybe i'm just not in the right mental headspace for it at this time. damn, my ex really fucked me up LMAO.
right, i'm aware of the less and lessening interactions i've had with the people i've encountered throughout tumblr, i feel sick of myself for not being able to catch up, nor interact with any of you as much as i could anymore, it really, really fucking sucks, i hate it, i hate it, i do.
i still have leftover projects to go over and publish, because i still want MY ideas, MY thoughts, MY worlds of fictional prowess to all of you. i'm not done, but i will say, that i'm- i'm so incredibly, so very sorry to the ones that were highly, to the heavens, expecting greatness from me, to the ones who were anticipating my unfinished stories, fuck, there's so much to do, yet my body, my mind, they do not respond, as if i'm losing my sense of time, literally.
all i can say to those sticking with me because of their plain interest for me, i wish, i pray, i'll beg, beg for me, my soul, my mind, my body, my spirit to heal, and heal faster, so i can love you all at my 100%, not with my trying 20%, and lower.
thank you. to the old, and to the recent supporters that got me to 3k followers and counting, fuckin' wild. actually insane.
i'll continue to write. i'll continue to create. i don't want to quit.
i don't want to leave the only thing that gave me freedom, and the genuine happiness the first time, making me discover shit about myself, and there's that.
p.s. apologies for my jjk brainrot everyone who followed for genshin and hsr <3 also that one popular otome game, love & deepspace? yeah, that shit's also fucking me up so good.
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HONORABLE MENTIONS: (lawd i feel bad for tagging)
@ainescribe @wanderingconstellations @teapartyspilled @v3lv3tf0x @ciarchivez ⸻ you fucking OGS. literally five pillars of my life, the cheerleaders, my absolute undying support of this blog, you saw me at my noob tumblr handling form, the lows, the highs, and the absolute peaks, i consider all of you special, i do, you all made tumblr and the writing community such a fun place for me. thank you, thank you, i just can't spam that voiceline enough.
@peachdues @screampied @chuluoyi @blkkizzat @jabamin @flametrashira @meowzfordayz ⸻ you superstar mutuals of mine. we've only interacted sporadically, PLEASE BLAME MY BURNOUT AND COLLEGE SCHEDULE FOR THAT, but all of you invoked so much burning hope, and motivation for me through your stories, AND your interests for me, whether it'd be something about my themes, edits, stories, it doesn't matter, you all took interest in lil' ol me, despite what, being such big content creators? FUCK??? that's insane. thank you.
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god, i seriously wish my schedule would just clear up by a fuckton, and then again, i was the one who took psychology and performing arts 💤 i hope, hope HOPE i get to interact with you all again once i take a leave/break from college.
⸻ with all my love, chiyo.
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strayfics · 2 years ago
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hiiiii i rly enjoyed ur haechan drabble 💚 can i request for one of mark lee but with playful pecks or kisses ? ty in advance !
[NCT] MARK - SURPRISE KISSES
☆ Mark x gn reader ☆ fluff ☆ 1k+ words ☆ Giving a kiss out of the blue and watching the other get flustered. Note: I'm really happy you liked it and thank you for requesting! It's a bit late but I hope you enjoy this one too!!
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At the start of your relationship, you could hardly imagine that anything would be better than making your boyfriend laugh. You wouldn’t say that you’re the funniest person alive, so whenever a little joke or a small comment was rewarded with Mark’s giggle, you felt like the happiest person alive.
That was, until your relationship developed to the point where casual kisses became more and more regular.
Saying hello and goodbye, good morning and good night with a peck was as natural as breathing, and it left room for the two of you to just approach the other without any particular reason aside from wanting a kiss. So, on a particular movie night date, that’s exactly what you did.
The movie was past its halfway point already when your eyelids started to feel heavy as you rested your head on Mark’s shoulder. He was completely engrossed in the scenes, even though you had watched it at least three times together already – he must have seen it even more times. For a while, you settled on watching his face and his minute reactions instead of the tv, letting your thoughts wander.
They didn’t go too far, eyes fixed and lingering on your boyfriend's face, when an idea suddenly popped into your head and you acted without any hesitation. You leaned up a bit and pressed a quick peck on his cheek.
You were met with wide, rapidly blinking eyes on a confused, visibly reddening face. “Huh? What was that?” It was as if you just snapped him out of the movie’s world and for a moment, he was unable to register what just happened.
You grinned at his reaction, your grin turning into giggles as you pressed a similarly quick kiss to his lips as well. “Nothing, I just really wanted to kiss you.”
“O-oh, okay…?” Mark was still looking at you like he wasn’t sure why you did that, and he kept glancing back at you in case you had something more to say. However, you just laid your head back on his shoulder and turned to the screen, smiling to yourself.
On that day, you committed Mark’s flustered expression to memory and made a mental note to surprise him with kisses more often.
A few more times and you were addicted. You kissed his cheek when he was too focused on something and didn’t notice you coming into his study. You kissed his neck when you cuddled in bed when he didn’t expect it. You pecked his lips when he was rambling too much and going in circles. You took every opportunity to watch him freeze for a moment, then blush and stutter and giggle in embarrassment. You thought that he would get used to your random kisses after a while but somehow, it never failed to catch him off-guard.
Everything was perfect until one day, your boyfriend took revenge.
It wasn’t that he intended to do so, the situation just presented itself naturally. The universe or some higher power must have taken pity on his heart and decided to make things even.
This evening, you were sitting on the couch, working on your laptop while Mark scrolled on his phone beside you. It was a quiet and comfortable moment, just existing in each other’s presence until you finished what you had to do and you could start making dinner. You were completely focused on the task at hand, losing all sense of time and space as you sunk into your thoughts.
You’re not sure how long you were in this state, only that what pulled you out of it was a pair of soft lips pressed to your cheek. As if mirroring the first time Mark was on the receiving end, you just stared at him with a confused expression and felt your face grow warmer under his self-satisfied look.
“What? Only you can give me surprise kisses?” he grinned and poked your cheek for good measure.
“N-no, I just… didn’t expect it…” you stated the obvious, looking away from him to your laptop’s screen but unable to find anything to focus on anymore.
“Cute,” Mark laughed at your reaction and gave you another peck before reaching over to take your laptop out of your hands and put it on the coffee table. “I was thinking that you should take a break and eat something, by the way.”
“Um, okay…” you nodded but made no move to get up, so Mark poked your side. “Hey!”
“Come on, you can’t be so shocked. Do you have any idea how many times you kissed me out of the blue like that?” he laughed, attempting to poke you again but this time you could slap his finger away before it could reach you.
“Yeah but you never did that to me before,” you argued and made your own move to poke his side.
Mark laughed again and from the sparkling of his eyes, you could tell that it was game on. “Well, then maybe I should start doing it more often too.” He avoided your defenses, pretending to poke your side but leaning in to kiss your neck instead. “I admit it’s fun.”
Thus, things escalated into a full-blown tickle fight. There was no real winner or loser; the both of you continued to poke, tickle and kiss the other as much as you could. Boundless laughter filled the living room while you fell over on the couch and became a mess of intertwined limbs. The fight only ended when the two of you couldn’t catch your breath anymore and there was no other choice but to refill your lungs.
Mark was the first one to recover and give you another kiss despite his unceasing giggles. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him back for another kiss when he wanted to part from you, and you slid your fingers upwards to mess his hair up while he was distracted with your lips moving against his.
He looked mildly offended when he pulled away and looked down at you, but when he saw your fond smile, he couldn’t help but lean down again to press a kiss on the tip of your nose and mutter another “cute.”
“Cuter,” you argued, nuzzling your nose together with his.
You both needed a few moments of rest and cuddling after your tickle fight, neither of you quite wanting to separate just yet. Dinner would have to wait for a little while longer…
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What do you need to maintain balance in your life- general tarot reading
The changing of the seasons can bring chaotic energy. Pick a pile that calls you with to discover how to bring harmony into your life. Don't worry if the reading won't fully resonate with you- it's a general reading. To buy a personal reading- message me! :)
Enjoy!
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Pile 1
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In the past, you might have a difficulty with transforming your ideas into reality. For you creativeness comes naturally and you often act on your impulses to start a new project without finishing the previous one.
Today, your desire to make some changes overcomes the one to maintain security- you are ready to change and grow! However, your own ambition might interfere with your desires. You have too many unfinished project and too little time.
The cards are inviting you to learn the skill of effectively delegating tasks in time. Without it, your chaotic thoughts will make you end up in a mental confusion. Finish what you already started, delegate using logic not emotions, take one step at a time and remember that each step brings you closer to your goal. Set up smaller goals and milestones for yourself- that will allow you to feel rewarded ( as you should) and fuel your motivation without adding more pressure on you.
Even though right now you are fighting with set-backs, personal restrictions, such as lack of faith in yourself or dissatisfaction with where you are right now, and growing impatience, remember that presererance makes a champion.
Procrastination and lack of motivation may whisper some ideas about extended holidays into your ear. The cards however warn, that if your mind is not at rest, you won't feel relaxed even on tropical vacation. Resolving issues immediatelly brings peace of mind. Instead, remember to take care of yourself and your work-life balance- it's more beneficial for you to take short, regular breaks, when you need it than torture yourself that instead of working towards your goal, you are resting.
Learning how to work differently and gaining problem-solving skills will bring unexpected solutions and mental agility. You solution is in the suncontious, but to get to it you must think analytically- shift through solutions even if they seem unusual and you will move from your current restrictions.
Pile 2
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The cards see that in the past you've overcome a major change in your life- an ending, a completion of something and that event transformed you spiritually. You have a hard time seeing the bigger picture, you may indulge yourself and act recklessly with 'live in the moment' attitude.
A great decision is waiting for you- one that will be rewarded in the future. The cards are telling you that past is not permanent. As you gradually remove what is distracting you, you must choose a path for yourself- your personal direction in life. Discover your values, how do you want your life to look like, what do you want to achieve, what would make you happy.
Without this knowlegde you cannot move forward, as your underlying issues would come to the surface over and over again. It is time to get to know yourself, confront with who you really are, not who others want you to be- it's a vital step towards resolution.
In your journey don't be afraid to ask others for help- a supportive person, that wants your success (you know who I'm talking about ;) ), but keep your mind disciplined in a sense of confronting the visions of others about you with reality.
Reconnect spiritually with yourself, by being compassionate towards yourself ( emotionally and phisically) and nurturing your sense of appreciation. Take good care of your body and mind. The nature will keep you more grounded. This will help you in choosing between two different paths. Be patient with yourself, answers may not come as quickly as you wish, but every journey takes time- make it worthwile.
Go with the flow, not agains it, but it's important for you to move in the direction of your choice, instead of staying in the same place. People, like nature, have their seasons and each gift of nature is different- so don't compare yourself to others ( I know it's easier said than done), but make this season about you. Find yourself and new opportunities will find you as well. Good things are comming for you- but you must prepare.
Pile 3
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It seems you' ve created a beneficial union ( masculine and feminine energy, being proactive and being nurturing)- it could be a friend, a romantic partner, or a work partner. You compliment each other and create balance- that bring you benefits. The cards tell that you need to make an important decision now, even though it can be difficult, that would have major impact for the future. In order to keep benefits flowing you need to be aware of each others needs.
In search for effectiveness and achieving be aware of the spiritual dimension. Naglecting yourself in order to achieve more usually have the contrary effect and in your case it would lead to imbalance and eventually to poor investment.
The advice is to act swiftly and secure the opportunity that presents itself before you, to avoid disaster. There is a sense of not belonging, unhappiness, lack of motivation in one of the partners in the union. In order to maintain balance this person needs to be spiritually and emotionally enriched- it is necessary for this person to perform his or her best. Cards also see a success through a personal creativity and a great role of intuition in making decisions. In order to strengthen intuition a balance within a person must be restored and the accomplishment will come when the time is right. In this reading, the timing plays a crucial role.
When creating something to last a discipline is needed- the common sense discipline for example regarding financial spending and self balance- not neglecting spiritual needs. Your previous successed certainly were not your last, there is also possibility to accumulate wealth. Nurture your fire. In the outcome you'll learn something new.
Hope you liked today's reading! Feel free to suggest what reading you would like to read next or purchace a personal reading <3
XoXo,
Alex
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walker33961 · 1 year ago
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COLONEL'S H O M E 💗
Alejandro real-time forgot that he had a little picnic planned with you in Japan on spring times... You really felt a bit broken when you realised that he forgot ... Meanwhile....he was down feeling from the recent missions , no proper intels, seeing best ones in injury and enemies change in location often and sending threats to his motherland .....
He really wanted to tell you these things , Well...you were aware that the time was not going well over Him, over the team & base ... After the mission got finally complete from his side , He got busy reconstructing the base.. After a good ass war with the shadows and specially , Graves....
Whenever he came home , we was all dull , broken from inside ..he hardly shows his emotions..
He was always better in hiding emotions after losing his elder brother , He almost lost his brother like person, his best friend and mate, Rudy..
Everyone wanted to see the Happy - chilled Colonel they knew & always saw They know about you, they know you always fix him. They know you are his "Home"...
They have a high expectation this time since it was the most freak shit mission and he also got locked in his own black site prison...
.
Time : 2:43 AM
Door nob twisting sound fills the silent room and he stepped into the house, A beautiful garden surrounded 2 storey house, in a location which only Rudy, los Vaqueros, Task force 141 Boys knew about..
After he stepped he got welcome by the little sweetie in the house "Marie" The cute munchkin milk white cat you got as a wedding gift from your sweet mother- in - law.
It's a family tradition that the bride will be gifted at least 1 kitten / cat which signifies the peace love and wellbeing of the family, Marie always brought light to both of your dull days❤
But this time, emotions and mental health striked him bad honestly.... So it's different this time.. No happy face after petting Marie..still... His heart became a bit warm ..
.
Alejandro : Awe Pequeña - *Little* . How you've been.. *tired voice but enough to understand* *petting the cat*
"Donde esta tu Mamá? " - *Where's your Momma*
The cat meows and walks to your room, Alejandro following Marie.. After she stopped and scratched the door a bit... She went away to her little space and He Twisted the nob and sees you sleeping peacefully..
He saw your sleeping state , time stopped like he's in a dream and your a angel from heaven sleeping in beds as if sleeping in clouds..
Your wedding ring shinning bright, sharing little shines around your face..
The orange Bedlights throwing a gold glow over your fair light brown skin He sees it As it's sharing aura lights in the midnight dark blue sky .....
And your charcoal black hair, shinning normally... But he sees it as if it's the wave of sea in the yellow moonlit night.....
One thing tho...it's ain't like he's the one who works..
He always saw you struggling with your work and getting less chance for yourself.. Even ignoring the fact of being in rest when sick... That's why he planned for a Japan spring picnic under the sakura falls..but... Got cancelled due thar historic mission....
You didn't mind since you are understanding....He's fking lucky for it !
Alejandro :
*comes near you and sits down carefully on the floor, so that u don't wake up*
"I have no idea how I got you Mi Amor , Maybe I did something good in past and you're the reward for it....I can never describe how you fix me everytime, wish I could tell you how much I want a little picnic , a little time spend.... To make u feel loved a bit more . I want to open up my heart, don't know what the fuck is stopping me from being free to my beloved wife... I love you more than anything Y/n.. I just wish. ...
*starts sobbing*
You :
*slowly opening the eyes from the sudden sobbing sounds, seeing Alejandro sitting and wiping his eyes, hair all messed up, diry clothes still on, eyes full of tiredness*
You : *hugs him placing hands over his neck and pulling him closer*
"Don't cry , your pretty earthy brown eyes don't deserve these bitter like tears..I love you Ale , and i understand that it's not easy to open up no matter how close the person can be... Take your time Amor.....I'm always with you , to listen whatever you wanna speak about"... *kissed him on his forhead*
*you feel his body getting lighter from the pain and burden which was over him.. He was melting in your touch, sobs getting lighter and his breathing getting back on the right pattern*
Alejandro : Can we plan for it aga.....
You : Honey, You don't have to plan a trip to make me feel loved.. Your presence is much more important to me than those trips.. All i appreciate is a cup of coffee, sitting together in a couch , Marie in your lap , And some sweet movie playing in... I live for these moments to be happen everyday..bcz home is home..and your My Home . ...But your long mission calls and...
Alejandro : Not this time... Los Vaqueros and 141 , all of us got 6 months off from our missions...the rookies are well trained and will assist , we'll give direction to lead from our homes... As easy as that...
" I promise to make the use of these times, to the fullest.. ❤"
You : LOS QUIERO MUCHO ALEJANDRO - *love you so much* *A big kiss over his lips*
Alejandro : Y/n .... *staring at her with whole love*
You : Hmm?
Alejandro : Gracias por todo.... - *thanks for everything*
You : *hugs*
Alejandro : *inhaling her sent , which he feels home*
You : * Releasing the hug* Honey you better take a shower... I'll prepare the dinner
Alejandro : How about I have you tonight as a meal... It's been....
You : *pinches him a little*
Alejandro : Ouch Mi Amor, Okay okay I'm going for a shower...
*screaming from the bathroom *
"I'll make sure I keep my words about it...."
You : *😳😳😳😳😳😳*
。.。:∞♡*💗»»————><————««💗*♡∞:。.。
<3 : @alewesker @sleepyconfusedpotato @sarahs-secrets2
  
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nightcolorz · 7 months ago
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Hiii. I love your acc and the analyses you've made of TVC characters; reading your posts has expanded and helped me articulate the ideas I already had. Anne Rice as an author was very revealing, I mean, by reading her books and analyzing the characters and their dynamics, you get a lot of information about her as a person. That's very interesting. I think all authors put a bit of themselves into their works, but with Anne Rice it feels more personal, maybe because there are quite a few books following the same characters. What do you think?
omg thank you so much 🥹❤️ the makes me so happy. I agree wholeheartedly with ur take on Anne rice. The books are suuuper personal, sometimes to the point where I almost feel like I shouldn’t have access to them 😭 like I’m reading someone’s weird diary. I think this was because her writing functioned as her only outlet. like iwtv was so visceral and sad bcus it was such a raw unfiltered expression of her grief, and the rest of the books all follow the same format (to varying degrees of quality lol).
When it comes to the characters, she was open about how every character is in some way representative of a part of her (especially Lestat and Louis). U can analyze for days how Louis and lestats evolutions r akin to witnessing evolutions of Anne rices mental health, Louis her former self insert created during probably the darkest time in her life later becoming a representation of what she considers the worst parts of herself that she is ashamed of and being basically cut from the series, and Lestat going from an embodiment of her fraught relationship with her husband in iwtv to in tvl a power fantasy who she wishes she was like to at the same time a mouth piece for her existential dread and loneliness and anxieties
The way that lestats religious crisis and manic breakdown from Memnoch to blood canticle aligns perfectly with Anne rice’s own religious crisis and sudden shift in her work is so crazy to me😭 and then there’s Anne rice literally using Lestat as a blatant mouth piece to scream at the audience in the iconic blood canticle opening monologue of course, how could we forget. A lot of the time the personal nature of these books makes the technical quality of them worse, but even still it is one of the major reasons why I love them so much. Part of it is that reading something so personal and unfiltered, where u get the impression that the author wasn’t thinking at all about how it would come off to people while writing it, makes it feel almost more real to me? Or more authentic? Reading tvc sometimes makes me feel like I’m reading actual history or personal accounts from real people. And the bad writing and offensiveness and heaps of bullshit and the pages of unrelated tangents adds to this in a way 😭. Like yeah this is exactly what reading a biography by a hundreds of years old vampire would be like lmao.
I love interpreting themes in these books so much because I often feel like Anne rice didn’t place them there on purpose. She had a very “I’ll just write whatever is in my mind and the themes will happen on there own” approach, and they did! and for someone like me analyzing it is super rewarding. Figuring stuff out that the author wasn’t even aware of, basically. Tvc are rich with meaning in a way that only these books are, and the personal nature and the lack of thought into meaning or themes is I think majorly responsible. For me when it comes to fiction, I like to do the work. And Anne rice throwing her personal as hell freak sex vampire yaoi with the most agonizing portrayals of trauma and mental illness ever no editing no forethought out into the world definitely gives me room to do the work 😭
Also, I tend to really only enjoy art if I feel like it is a messy reflection of the creator. I’m not sure why but I can never really get into something unless I can see some of the creators flaws or baggage reflected in the work 😭 I feel like art isn’t rlly art to me if I don’t feel like a know the person who made it a little too well after seeing it. There’s something really special about finding out the worst parts of someone in a book, honestly. I love reading these and being like there is so much wrong with this woman and I know way too much about it 😭 she’s horrible but I’ve lived in her mind and I don’t wanna leave.
I admire in a way Anne rices unhinged abandon with how blatantly vent-like and unfiltered her books were (literally unedited 😭). She got extremely lucky making a career from it, typing out all her insane thoughts and feelings into gay vampires and becoming rich and famous. A girl can only dream for that life, I do that shit for free on a03. I don’t think I’ve ever encountered anything published that has the same energy as tvc in this way. The only thing that comes close would be like, a quotev fan fiction I read for laughs written by a ten year old in 2010 who is unintentionally revealing way too much to me about their semi concerning home life 😭. It’s wonderful! Thank u Anne rice for ur beautiful scary lack of shame u have given me so many things to write about on tumblr
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marionettemi · 8 months ago
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Tw: su*cidal ideation, mentions of offing oneself, really long vent ig
!! PLEASE BLOCK, DON’T REPORT!!
I don’t want to exist, but I don’t know if I want to die.
I am stuck in a space between life and death where I merely exist, and it is the worst thing I have ever experienced.
I don’t want to live to work for the rest of my life in a career I won’t like because I have no interests.
I don’t want to live until applying for said job, not wanting to, but needing money to survive.
I don’t want to live until college where I will be working to a life I’m not sure I want. To live to know whether I get to possibly live on my own, which seems more impossible with every growing day in a world where I am constantly reminded how doomed the economy is.
I don’t want to live until the end of high school, where I know all the rest will follow.
I don’t want to live until the tests in my senior year, which I am nowhere near prepared for.
I don't want to live the rest of my life suffering with my list of mental illnesses.
With all this, one might ask why I’m still surviving. The truth is, while I know it’s impossible, I feel like I deserve one good month. Even a good week would be enough. I feel like if I hold on long enough, then one day I will get a week where I dress up and go to a lake with a friend who will talk my ear off while I lay quietly on their chest. One week where I live on my own in an aesthetic apartment where I am who I want to be. Who I would be if it weren’t for…me.
If I just hold on long enough, surely I will be rewarded. For the suffering I have been through where everyday it is a fight to not make the ultimate decision to leave forever, surely life will turn out amazing like the books I read. A character going through the same things as me or more and ending up with an amazing life after all. They were rewarded for surviving, why can’t I be?
Yet everyday, I realize I am more alone than the last. Everyday, it feels like my chances are diminishing.
My life has revolved around my mental health since I could remember. After learning why I was the way I was, I was so sure I could get better. Yet here I am, years and years later, no better, if not worse than when I learned.
I don’t want to exist. If I could hit a button to disappear then I know I would. Maybe I’m just scared of the afterlife. I’m not particularly a good or bad person. I haven’t had the chance to become one yet. I never started the betterment arc, I suppose.
I want to live in a fairytale where someone will take me away and better me by my side. A world where everything will work out because it’s a story. A world I currently escape to.
I think it may be the support I want. If I had someone to guide me through my hard times, like a lover or best friend. If I had someone to explain the world to me, like a new and almost perfect guardian. If I had enough people around me willing to share enough love with me to give me interests, happiness, and a reason to live.
I don’t have enough reasons to live, yet I’m scared to leave. I’m scared I may be leaving right before my happy ending, especially one that closes with, “yet it’s just the beginning.” I want to believe my reward, my happy ending, my next chapter is coming soon. I don’t think it is, and I’m scared to run out of time.
I want to make my decision to leave or stay. I wish I could see the future to know if I escape this limbo between life and death.
I wish I never had to make this decision in the first place. I wish I didn’t exist.
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domjaehyun · 4 months ago
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hello! this is rainonthebathroomfloor, and i wanted to share all of my notes with you!! many of them aren’t enlightened lol as i was just recording my reactions in the moment 🤍🤍
“i know what i want” this man would get me into trouble and ruin friendships holy shit i’m a weak bitch
the conversation about drugs is doing things to my heart. i love the soft vulnerability of it and the scene overall — walking outside, late at night, new to knowing one another
not him bringing up visiting his mom ohmygod i love this ahhhhh
oc asking the deli cooks if haechan is handsome. oh this shit is GOLEN i’m giggling and kicking my feet “how many of you are back there” lmao
“do that again” after oc stuck her tongue out… i want him so bad
“it’s about the reward” im too weak for this shit. wtf op your TALENT
He ignores you. “I think it’s that I want to know what it feels like to truly live.” he finishes, and you pause at that, genuinely taking in his words. “Life is too short to be scared to indulge, you know?” ~i want what he’s having lol
oh this boy is crazy. and a walking red flag that i want to lick… like a cherry lollipop
tickling oc’s hand is CRAZY
heaching SEEing oc took my breath away
He looks at you like he’s dangerously close to seeing you; you, past your barriers and caution tape; you, with all your intricacies and contradictions; and you, with all the hope and yearning and vulnerability you’ve had since your youth that you’ve been trying to convince everyone is no longer around. ~everything about these words
haechan talking about twin flames and mirror souls… and your inclusion of the lyrics. i haven’t listened to ariana’s new album that much, and i definitely missed these lyrics, but they gave me chills worked into this scene so perfectly. you created magic
i’m loving the layers to haechan. there’s all this confidence and charm and interactions that made me feel like ‘god he’s just another man being a flirt despite having a girlfriend’ but then there are moments when complete clarity is felt and their connection is just so obvious. his comfort with oc is so obvious along with the way she’s stimulating him mentally/emotionally/physically. like i get his actions with all that in mind (is that crazy to say?), and it all makes me want insight into his rs with winter. how it got started. what it gives him. what it’s missing. well, we get a picture painted of what’s missing. i’m writing this after reading part 2, and i can’t pretend i don’t want a man who’s this obsessed with me. i know that’s partially bc i do not doubt that i’ll be obsessed right back. i also have to take a moment to say how fine and sexy haechan is. i nearly collapsed beneath the weight of his energy in your fic 😩
also, i had such a fun time listening to the playlist while reading. i also ended up with justine skye’s collide playing on repeat and that made part 2 feel even more intense. music is such a source of inspiration for my own writing, and i love that it’s something you weave into your stories. it’s also a joyous and fascinating experience to see and read the art music inspires and creates. it’s like a constant pool of rebirth and i’m obsessed with that
i can’t wait for the next part!! thank you for being here and sharing incredible work with all of us 🤍 you’re a talented gem
HIIIII BELOVED I AM HERE TO ANSWER
first of all. im snorting this next. SECONDLY: here we go the rest is under a cut bc my reply got long
no your thoughts are wonderful please they mean so much to me!!!!!!! okay im gonna try and go in order so brace yourself
HE REALLY WOULD and he’d do it all in the name of love 🫶
i loooooooove getting to know you scenes but like . not conventional stuff yknow? like realistic, deeper conversations so im happy you liked that scene too!!!!!
YEAH I HAD TO HE’S A LIL MAMA’S BOY
I GIGGLED WHEN I WROTE THAT LINE i love like inserting little bits of comedy when i can :D it was also inspired by when i was at the deli and the guy at the counter told the deli cook my order then like one other guy came out and i walked by there to get a drink and . there were like 2 more guys back there and i was like this is a small ass space how many of u are there
HEHEHEHEHEHE ME TOO he’s a shameless little flirt and we love to see it
THANK YOOOOOOU i think this fic was a learning moment for me like . some risks are worth the reward and you can’t live your life scared of “what if” yknow?
I TOO WANT WHAT HE’S HAVING im microdosing on it rn but i want like. a fuckton of what he’s on
he /is/ crazy . i also want to lick him …..who said that
teehee i thought that was cute i like that you noticed :D and i’m glad it resonated with you
I LOOOOOOOOOOOVE THAT SCENE THE SCENE IN THE CAFE BC . okay tmi time but i like this guy at work. and he STARES at me sometimes like just gazes into my eyes and it’s terrifying and electrifying at the same time and i wanted to try and capture that feeling in words so your feedback makes me feel like i did a good job!!
THANK YOU HEHEHEHEHEHE i like that line too i think i want someone to look at me like that fr like . just See Me and be like . i wanna know more. (again my crush does this but there is room for doubt there. i want an unequivocally probing and fond gaze like they see me and they like what they see, no ifs ands or buts about it)
THANK YOOOOOOOOOOOOOU ugh i love the museum cafe scene it was very revealing to me abt like . their characters and stuff and that lyric quote just fit so perfectly????? i had to include it
i fully get you tbh like i started out writing the fic with no real idea of the relationship btwn him and winter and as i was writing i was like. okay but what does she fulfill for him that he’s not getting from winter like why did he switch lanes with such ease what did he SEE what did he FEEL which can be hard to capture from ….well, Not His Point Of View so i just . did my best bc MC def has the same questions so some of these get answered !!!!!!!! in some scenes it’s more in details than being said explicitly but tbh you’re such a close reader that i feel like you’ll get it when those scenes come up!!
additionally: i also want a man who’s this obsessed with me it is a dream of mine :’) i agree haechan is deeply fine and sexy i love writing him like this just like. a lovesick man
OOH i should listen to that song i def know it bc i can recall the melody and some lyrics but i really wanna . sit with the song if you think it was fitting bc i love having like a soundtrack to my fics!!!
UGH THANK YOU YOU GET IT I LOVE TO WRITE WITH MUSIC AS INSPO it just feels so right. art inspires more art!!!!!! it is most definitely a cycle of rebirth and it’s one that i personally can’t get enough of :D
THANK YOU SO MUCH GENUINELY i hope you enjoy the next part too :D this was like . actually so affirming to read it was like . i feel More Understood a bit after this message and that’s a wonderful feeling so thank you for giving that to me :’)
THANK YOU AGAIN SO SO SO MUCH i can’t put enough sos bc ………. i am truly that grateful :’) you are so welcome and people like you make it so incredibly worth it!!!!! thank you again and have a BEAUTIFUL day 💖
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faggotrevolution · 5 months ago
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rant about better call saul under the cut
the way that jimmy mcgill and kim wexler's relationship breaks down over the course of the entire show is so slow and so intentional and almost feels inevitable - in a way that i'm used to thinking of true love as inevitable - that at the end when kim says "I knew if we stopped, we would have to break up, and I didn't want to break up, because I was having too much fun" it always kind of struck me. abruptly. you get so accustomed to seeing these characters problem-solve and work together, and so often they just move past the difficult stuff that the idea of them breaking up is a slap in the face. why? if she's having fun, and they work things out, why?
straws on a camel's back!! on the rewatch, you can really see how post-chicanery, jimmy and kim start having distinct relationship problems. but it's buried beneath the rest of the plot - their troubles always move aside for the next client, the next job, the next con, whatever. or more accurately, KIM'S troubles always move aside. jimmy finds ways to make his own emotional baggage other people's problems, even if he doesn't do it directly. or even intentionally.
from my understanding! jimmy's core problem is that he's severed from his own emotional identity - he is incapable of honest, open communication, because he doesn't really understand his own feelings well enough to talk about them. but he does feel things, feels them very deeply, and cannot control or justify them. this is a piece of why he loves kim so much, she's an excellent lawyer and makes arguments on his behalf - she helps to explain him, and it makes him feel seen and acceptable
but who makes arguments for kim? jimmy is a decent lawyer, but he's not as good as she is. and he isn't able to empathize with her, he's only able to use the professional tone they established as friends in the mailroom. the only time he makes a special effort to care for her is when her arm is broken, and she is visibly injured.
kim's troubles are always being put on the back-burner to make way for the next *thing*, whereas jimmy's troubles often incite or force the next *thing* into play.
going back to the second half of season 3 and all of season 4, there are moments in the show where it really feels like jimmy and kim are definitely, definitely going to break up. like when he refuses to go to therapy, when he gets in that weird one-up contest with her boss, or when he sells drop phones and they have to run the scam to save huell.
even before then jimmy was putting kim's integrity and career in danger, but - she competently explained it, the way a lawyer would, as justifiable. god it was just all so well-wrought together. take a look at this order of events: jimmy is blocked by his brother -> gets a job at davis & main so he can keep playing the Lawyer Game and flirting with kim -> jimmy runs the sandpiper commercial everyone was uncool about -> kim gets stuck in doc review and refuses to let jimmy help her -> her efforts are not rewarded then, and are later exploited when she leaves to start her solo practice -> the number switch -> chuck's "mental breakdown" and the cassette tape
kim's story about working very hard and being exploited by her boss is sandwiched in between jimmy and chuck's stories.
now, look at another arc: jimmy is disbarred as a lawyer, while kim takes on more and more work -> jimmy spirals, and vindictively strikes out at his brother through malpractice insurance -> chuck kills himself (lmao) -> jimmy, unable to deal with the emotional fallout, goes right back to slippin jimmy -> his recklessness leads him to ask kim to help him pull off a con to help save huell babineaux from prison
meanwhile kim has found a way to be happy with her life by dividing her time between mesa verde and pro bono work. when he goes to kim she's (understandably) angry. she had her shit figured out, and here he comes with more of this convoluted bullshit to make her life more difficult.
and it really does seem like they're going to break up! she ices him out while they run the scam which, by the way, i think she only gets invested in because suzanne erikson is so unpleasant and vindictive about prosecuting huell, UP UNTIL the scam WORKS. and then kim starts being attracted to jimmy again. because she got to get one over on the DA.
it's at this point that it begins to look like their relationship is going well. kim remembers how much fun she's had with jimmy, and how these cons excite her. she starts looking for a way to have it all. as she said in her interview with schweikart & cokely, she wants more.
anyway, she tries and it makes her feel worse, so her and jimmy go back to their original enemy: howard hamlin. and we alllll know how that went
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clockworkreapers · 1 year ago
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How will the main 6 be in a universe where the hemospectrum got swapped (rust become the highest while fuchsia the lowest)?
Hmm Iv done a blood swap before where I flip their blood colors but haven’t ever actually thought about a full social spectrum flip. Also I have a lot of questions on how that would work population wise is- like now are rusts are more rare and live longer and are more durable and fuchsias are abundant and live a short amount of time and are weak?
Just questions with the social swap but I’m going to say everything swaps then including all the biological stuff besides like mental powers and shit that relate to blood.
Sauron: he’d be royal and part of a very small circle right? So he’d have a lot of power and probably be a lot more emotional and softer since he’s allowed to be and people care about his well-being. Less afraid of the world around him but still enough for his anxieties to creep in when it’s “how do people view me, am I doing a good job.” He really wouldn’t have had as much bad luck growing up or in his adult life cuz the consequences for his actions would be so much lighter, less scars less mistrust of other trolls, less damage to his psyche. He’d still have his mental issues though, having depression and anxiety because your brain chemicals are fucky wont change if your social status does.
Falmea: see if she had none of the experiences and saw none of the shit she did growing up as one of the lowest social classes she would be so different. She’s still be brash and loud and very hot headed because that’s just her personality but the violence and the anger she harbors wouldent be there cuz she doesn’t need to fight to survive she doesn’t need to be the tough badass bitch that will fuck you up if you cross her. She’s probably be also way more oblivious to how the world works cuz well her life is going fine, she’s be the energetic entertaining outgoing loud friend at parties who can do whatever she wants.
Cyrusk: he would very likely stay military for the rest of his life get up in the ranks maybe even become one of the top ranks and get most of his time off just directing and organizing other trolls. He’d be pretty damn happy, higher social class im guessing he’d get more help for his disabilities so he’d get a much better prosthetic for his leg and his eye and left ear so he wouldn’t be half blind and def. He’d be a lot more comfy but maybe a bit more prone to indulgence and parties cuz he’s still an extrovert who really likes company.
Cybele: well she’s olive so she won’t much change being just bumped up like the equivalent of jade I guess? Hey maybe that means she can finally be a nurse! She’d absolutely love to be able to help people more, no matter how dirty the job is or how long helping people is always very rewarding to her the amount of work doesn’t matter. Both other than that I don’t think she would change at all.
Majell: she would be higher low class right? She’s probably be a bit less proper and a lot more aware of social issues cuz as much as Majell tries to understand and is part of that ecosystem she usually has a lot more power even then and can be a bit oblivious. If it’s flipped however yeah she is going to get that first hand experience, she’d likely try to push against it more strongly be more outspoken, more actively trying to make a difference in the system.
Helstm: He would be a lot different his core personality would still be there he’s still be a bit standoffish hed be a lot more “willing” to listen to people and do what he’s told cuz he’s have less grounds to just do what he wants. He’d be a lot more grown up personality wise because he would need to mature faster. I feel like because of that he’d have a much higher work ethic and probably be even more of a natural macgyver because he won’t have access to the expensive stuff. Without all his money and anything to his name or social status.
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