#it makes me feel more special | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

madamemiz · 1 year ago

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sad: falling out of a hyperfixation

tragic: watching your beloved friends and mutuals fall out of the hyperfixation while you're still in it

#oughhhhhhh #this is about the dca fandom but also about every other strong fixation ive had over the years lol #i know it's normal and inevitable esp for less popular works or minor characters with little canon content #and there's nothing wrong with smaller communities of course those rock #but there’s just something special about getting into something at the same time as a lot of other people all at once #and existing in this chaotic fandom space that's just bursting with creativity and passion #i've been in fandom spaces for as long as some of you have been alive and i've only come across that sort of unbridled joy like #a handful of times at best #it's just a heartbreaking feeling to see real lightning in a jar fandoms like that wither away as people drift away #(understandably so!)#anyway don't mind me i'm just having thoughts #musing about fandoms past as well #that i too eventually moved on from but remember fondly even if im not active in anymore #also my music just aint hitting right so im just sitting in silence which makes me more Contemplative(tm)

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sharkylad · 4 months ago

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Thinking about the fact that Mabel and Dipper didn't know they had two great uncles.

Yeah they are 12 and at 12 I had a shotty understanding of my family tree- But really? Nobody brought up their great uncle? Stanley? Especially since they'll be staying with his twin brother, Stanford?

Shermie never went to Stan's fake funeral, which to me means the twos relationship was strained on some level. If Shermie is older that means his view of Stan was poisoned in some way, that even as kids they weren't close. If the Shermie is younger then he never even got to meet Stan and all he knew about him was how he failed his family. Hell, people probably barely mentioned Stanley TO Shermie.

The fact that Stan had become a black stain upon the Pines family name makes me so vividly upset. Stanley faked his death and the family just- seemingly decided to strike him from the record. To pretend he didn't existed to spare themselves the sadness and shame.

Stanford and Shermie Pines. The only children worth mentioning of Filbrick and Caryn Pines.

It was never Stanford that was lost to the world. It was Stanley, ever since he had to leave New Jersy- it was always him that had to be struck from the record. Change his name, change his state, change his affiliations, destroy the remains of ghost that was Stanley Pines. Kill him so the family doesn't bring him up, doesn't ask questions, stops asking "Stanford" about his twin.

I just keep thinking about the fact that since the day he made one single mistake all the way up until Ford walks out of that machine- Stanley Pines was killed and did not exist. And Stan himself had no one to blame, he had to play the part in his own demise- He is the only one who ever knew Stanley was alive and has been for decades.

He lives in the multitudes of every personality he's ever taken, all in the hope that he himself can stop being Stanley Pines.

#gravity falls #grunkle stan #stanley pines #STANLEYYYYYY #STANLEY THEY COULD NEVER MAKE ME HATE YOU STANLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#sharky rants #Just. Imagine the fucking shame you have to live with #the shame that you can never be yourself. That anything you were is unwanted and forgotten #The shame of just BEING- Of taking space of- of /breathing-/#Imagine the world; your friend; your family; your colleagues being so ashamed of having known you #that you feel more comfortable with a persona to present.#You feel more comfortable stealing the identity of someone you care for deeply if only to help #If only to feel capable for once. To feel like you belong- Like youre doing something good for once #Imagine the shame that brings you to be comfortable not being yourself for 40 years.#ALL CASE YOU BROKE ONE FUCKING PROJECT??????? COME ON #I mean- the deeprooted shame was started from earlier. He was 'the stupid twin“; 'the troublemaker”; “the cheat and thief”#This was a long time coming #But those werent MISTAKES- The one time he genuinely made a Mistake he lost everything #Like he really mattered so little to the people around him #and he cant really blame them.#My cousin is a genius. Hes smart and academically achieved since I was a baby.#The only thing I had that he didnt was my ability to draw. to be creative. The guy for the longest time had a better social life then me too #I used to get brought to tears seeing his accomplishments- seeing people praise him. The shame lived in me any time I had to see him #The shame that I was the black sheep of the family next to the golden standard for a son- for a student- for a friend.#when I was none of those things #And Im lucky he was my cousin- cause if he was my brother that would have haunted me EVERY DAY rather then once or twice a year #Im better with it now; Im more content with who I am- But trauma dump aside-#I very very very much understand Stans shame in being the stupid one. The unachieved one in a family full of achieved people #the shame thats angry at him for being better. at the family for treating him special. and most of all at yourself that you cant be better #its a visceral feeling that I sadly understand

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honehonn3honey · 5 months ago

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cup-o-stars · 1 month ago

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Last part for old GF sketches

(Actually, most of these aren't old at all, but their average is brought down by the last picture, which I drew back in August and kept forgetting to post)

#fanart #drawing #gravity falls #stanford pines #stanley pines #i wish more people talked about Ford's piano skills #and his shadow puppet skills #i forgot what i was thinking when i rushed these out #something about Ford only taking pride in his skills because of how other people (ie Stanley) appreciate them #and how he attributes everything exceptional about himself to his hands bc that's where his deepest insecurities/motivations come from #but that isn't something Stan or most people think about at all #but he also IS really talented #and so he gets this big fragile ego #stemming from his mother and brother's praise #but also filbrick's neglect #so it's like outside validation is a substitute/reminder of the people that really loved him #bht also he thinks he's different from them and better than them #but he does love them #and he likes making them proud because he likes seeing them happy #maybe he doesn't know how else to make people happy #something something #Stan being his biggest supporter is a double edged sword #because his opinion matters the most and then he's gone #and Ford doesnt have anyone to show off to anymore #OR anyone who can call him a showoff when he gets too into his own head #OR the person he was pitted against in the first place that made him feel special #because- knowingly or not- they always compared themselves #idk man #Ford is an interesting guy and his head fascinates me

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sentient-forest · 2 years ago

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#cecilsweep and Welcome to Night Vale trending #1 in 2023

#welcome to night vale #wtnv #ive said it before but people not knowing wtnv makes me feel old #i remember the days before cecil had a canonical last name #so tumblr just gave him the jonathan sims treatment #aka called him cecil baldwin (the voice actor's name)#wtnv will always have a special place in my heart as my first fiction podcast #cecil palmer #cecilsweep #oh to be young and queer and stumble upon a funky little gay podcast about a horiffic and absurd little town #yes i am just reusing my tags from my last post #added a description #glad yall are enjoying my shitty meme #i made it while half-awake and unable to sleep because my tummy hurt :(#follow me for more shitty podcast memes #im currently going feral for malevolent #important note: girlies is gender neutral #tumblr sexyman poll

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jkvjimin · 7 months ago

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JEON JUNGKOOK + fire stage performances 🔥 (cr. 0613data, namuspromised, moreloveforhobi)

happy birthday, steph! @cosmicdreamgrl 💗

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lockescoles · 7 months ago

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MAKE ME CHOOSE → DRAGON AGE or MASS EFFECT (for @elluvians)

#meedit #meedits #me1 #me2 #me3 #my edit #mass effect 1 #mass effect 2 #mass effect 3 #make me choose #gamingedit #videogameedit #dailygaming #userrainbow #singinprincess #underbetelgeuse #i absolutely love both series #but mass effect feels more special to me hfdgd :3 #mass effect

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skunkes · 10 months ago

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all of february's chibis ^_^

#well almost all there were sum private ones....#dude i took so many to make some extra money for my special month and like. idk #i got em all done and therefore i SHOULD be taking this many monthly but idkkkk </3 LOL #i feel so lazy abt not always taking this many...like dude a real job wld be much harder than drawing MAYBE 2 pictures a day. but augh #comms #a doodley #anyway....! opening for more comms later today....! + then ill have the amt taxes are gonna take from me....yaaaaay....

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territorial-utopia · 5 months ago

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Huzzah! It's birthday time! I'm slowly accumulating more and more things I like (latest additions this vest I made and a travel typewriter! Still need to fix the latter one though)

Sure has been a year.

#terri #niart #got my wisdom toofies out #well 2 out of 4 #still got stitches #idk if this removal lowkey fixed my fear of the dentist?#it was so easy and painless #also finally i'm on anxiety meds jkahsdjash #i also got depression meds but i haven't tested them yet #I'm going to see the love of my life soon again!!!#only 2 more months to go....#i've also finally found awesome friends who don't make me feel like i'm insane for wanting to be cared for #the difference is like night and day #old friends saying hey let's surprise another friend of ours oh also i think it's your birthday on that day #new friends reminding me to pick a brunch place for us to go on my special day #i am sobbing #the right people are out there #don't lose hope #i've never felt this platonically loved honestly #also yes i'm working on the next dragon's lair aksjdhasjkd #just #a lot of things happening and i'm sooo burnt out #this piece was such a strain and i just #don't have patience for art rn #this is photobashed btw there's an actual photo of my typewriter under all those layers #i'm not about to spend 300 hours just to draw a typewriter from this angle kajshdjkasdh #ALSO ONE MORE THING CAN I JUST GUSH ABOUT THE ANASTASIA BROADWAY OKAY?!?!?!#I didn't realise until now that they made it way more historically inspired and i mean bruh BRUH #i have been having a recording of it playing on the background nonstop for like 3 days now #Vladimir Popov I want to inject you straight into my veins holy shit he is a perfect man

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melon-moth · 4 months ago

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you guys really seemed to like the Rick and Morty memes so here’s more I forgot to post

PROSHIP/RICKORTY DNI

#proship dni #rick and morty #morty smith #beth smith #jerry smith #rick and morty meme #the Morty one makes me cackle I feel like I really captured the original’s expression of anguish #alsoooooo I want more beth content idk #bi Morty is so special to me

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uncanny-tranny · 1 year ago

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The absolute biggest thing I've learned as a trans guy: there is nothing more masculine and manly than not caring about looking or acting masculine or manly. Growing your masculinity or manhood takes time and care - you have no obligation to let the world water your garden when you can do that just fine (and you can, even if it doesn't feel like you can!)

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #nonbinary #trans advice #got a stereotypically 'feminine/woman' piercing and. i feel like a man *inverted shania twain riff from man! i feel like a woman*#nothing affirms my manhood more than not caring about the genuinely toxic imaginings that the world has about manhood and men like me 👍#yes it can be a struggle ESPECIALLY if you're somebody who actively has to defend your masculinity/manhood...#...it's hard for me too sometimes. i had to not only build my manhood but jealously defend it from the 'phobes...#...but i am all the better for it because this is MINE. i have never truly owned something in this way...#...i don't own other people nor my cats nor even my material possessions - not in the way i own my manhood...#...i own it like a tiger owns his territory and i defend it similarly...#...i do not WANT to own my loved ones or possessions the same as i own my manhood and masculinity. this is special to me #my manhood was *made* for me to be owned anyway. i feel that applies to every trans person who hasn't felt able to own themselves #this is in the same vein as learning to cast aside the cissexist views of bodies&experiences that can make dysphoria worae

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ganondoodle · 11 months ago

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once you notice how few characters in media have brown eyes it really becomes impossible to not pay attention to it and its been bothering me ever since

#ganondoodles talks #i now its not that there are literally zero #but it almost is #and i get giving fictional characters non natural eye colors is fun #but blue and green is still everywhere evne tho those are also real #like sometimes it feels like brown is actively avoided #going for red or yellow instead #and i know in anime especialyl theres this idea i think that similar to hair color its bcs the majority of japanese people have those #so it feels 'more special' if its anything but that #idk how much of that is true #also its not just anime #feels weird #brown is such a diverse and beautiful color #makes me sad

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beescake · 1 year ago

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Sorry for the spam (^o^;) I just really like your blog

no need to apologize ayy!

in this corner we welcome all forms of enjoyment, regardless of whether you're a

happy to have yall here w me,

headin into homestuck 2024 :^)

#was debating if sollux truly was lurker type but then i rmbr'd him quietly reading all of karkat's memos for a good laugh HAHAHAHAAH #ask #aleemie #homestuck #karkat vantas #sollux captor #solkat #2024 #vioart #but o. regarding the etiquette learned frm other socmed #spamming here is safe+good! it does not harm the op by shadowbanning like instagram #and its not 💀 like twitter where ur likes/following are permanently set to public #ur tumblr experience is within ur control it can be as free/empty/curated as u want!!#((tho ofc i do encourage rbing for ppl who've been hoping to start that habit!!#s'cool to slowly work ur way up from the extra special posts that hv lingered longest in ur heart and quietly build ur cache trove :-)#for example back when i was struggling to rt on a new twt acc i just started setting nonsense criteria for myself LOL #like “breaking this void is scary holy fuck ok i shall start by rting posts w brownish/reddish clrs bcs its inspo vibes for my art”#and gradually after a while of deliberate sharing i gained more confidence to share a larger variety of posts that make me feel things!!!!#no more training wheels i may be scared but i love loving more!!!!#same goes for engaging w fics too it takes energy to think of how to comment and thats ok‚ do ur best to explore what works for u!!!!#take screenshots of ur fave paragraphs & start annotating in gallery/notes app if that helps!!!!#also tumblr's customizable queue means u can stack posts and bolt hgehehe. my preferred form of existing on the net))

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mari-lair · 2 months ago

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Hey do you fw this? I made 1 chapter of it so far.

I was confused about what story you wanted me to check at first but then!! I saw this on ao3!!

Yeah! I fw it! LET'S GOOOOOOO >:D

#The scene wip page make me so excited!!#specially the Sif hearing Isa say 'stars' one (cause i am basic and like fluff/confusing Sif)#i love how the group know sif so well after the loop and everyone get a 'lets talk about our feelings' talk opening post loop #they all deserve it #as a nice treat that is hard as hell to swallow #siffrin? more like sif is out au #fan content for sif is out :D

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basilsimp43 · 4 months ago

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"Sixer's entire sense of self worth was tied up in his self image as a lone genius"

#Ford needing praise is killing me :')#(probably bc I'm the same)#but really these two making me crazy with Bill letting Ford win #just to make him feel special #idk if it's just manipulation or more it still special to me 😭☝#gravity falls #gravity falls fandom #gravity falls bill #gravity falls stanford #standford pines #bill cipher #billford #book of bill #thisisnotawebsitedotcom

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angryteapott · 17 days ago

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it's crazy with all the gay ass chemistry that zhao yuanzhou and wen xiao have with the other cast it's one of the only ensemble cast dramas in which the main m/f ship DOESN'T feel like comphet and the women in the show don't feel like an afterthought. You really feel like Wen Xiao is the love of Zhao Yuanzhou's life and vice versa. It's just that they're both messy bisexuals with ten loves of their lives each

#honestly even including the romance genre this is one of the more convincing couples to me #in part because romances often somewhat rely on isolating the couple emotionally to just each other to make the feelings “special”#where here they lead full big lives they just adore each other #fangs of fortune #chen duling as always you just have such a involving edge to your acting i fully believe wen xiao as a person i could meet on the street

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