#it makes me feel more special
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Sometimes I just stop and think… And I feel like this isn’t the first time I’ve known about shifting.
Like— sure, we can live as long as we want, we can choose when we die. But what if some of us chose to ‘reset’?
I mean as in chose to delete all memories of your experiences except some selective stuff, keep things that nudge you to rediscover shifting, and restart life from the true point 0.
In fact I’m pretty sure us shifters are like witches. Not everyone can be a witch, but you can tap into it. Or like a separate species, a bunch of things that just are. They can’t be classified as something, they just are there. They can choose everything that happens, can change how they look or who they’re friends/lovers/enemies/etc with, and so on.
Because if I told my past self about shifting and the fact that I am a shifter myself, I either won’t believe my future self for a while, think we are secretly a god, or be absolutely ecstatic at the idea that we do in fact have free will. I don’t have to listen to my parents tell me to go somewhere where they abuse me and scare me into compliance and silence and taking advantage of my innocence to hide their negligence.
And I feel like there’s little remnants still around me from that past life. Places, people, objects. Maybe that one stranger I saw on the bus today used to be a good friend of mine and that’s why they seem so familiar, why they have this aura of ‘I know them’. Maybe that necklace I saw once but failed to buy that I was so adamant on getting was because it used to be mine. Maybe I hate some random person that did nothing to me because in my past life they did something bad to me.
#Maybe that’s what they meant when they said I am an ‘old soul’#It’s nice to sometimes sit and think about these little theories#Because it also motivates me#it makes me feel more special#It makes me feel like I am more relevant than people made me think#And it makes me feel so warm inside#reality shifting#shifting#shifting community#shiftblr#anti shifters dni#shifting realities#shifting mindset#shifting motivation#law of assumption#loa
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sad: falling out of a hyperfixation
tragic: watching your beloved friends and mutuals fall out of the hyperfixation while you're still in it
#oughhhhhhh#this is about the dca fandom but also about every other strong fixation ive had over the years lol#i know it's normal and inevitable esp for less popular works or minor characters with little canon content#and there's nothing wrong with smaller communities of course those rock#but there’s just something special about getting into something at the same time as a lot of other people all at once#and existing in this chaotic fandom space that's just bursting with creativity and passion#i've been in fandom spaces for as long as some of you have been alive and i've only come across that sort of unbridled joy like#a handful of times at best#it's just a heartbreaking feeling to see real lightning in a jar fandoms like that wither away as people drift away#(understandably so!)#anyway don't mind me i'm just having thoughts#musing about fandoms past as well#that i too eventually moved on from but remember fondly even if im not active in anymore#also my music just aint hitting right so im just sitting in silence which makes me more Contemplative(tm)
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Thinking about the fact that Mabel and Dipper didn't know they had two great uncles.
Yeah they are 12 and at 12 I had a shotty understanding of my family tree- But really? Nobody brought up their great uncle? Stanley? Especially since they'll be staying with his twin brother, Stanford?
Shermie never went to Stan's fake funeral, which to me means the twos relationship was strained on some level. If Shermie is older that means his view of Stan was poisoned in some way, that even as kids they weren't close. If the Shermie is younger then he never even got to meet Stan and all he knew about him was how he failed his family. Hell, people probably barely mentioned Stanley TO Shermie.
The fact that Stan had become a black stain upon the Pines family name makes me so vividly upset. Stanley faked his death and the family just- seemingly decided to strike him from the record. To pretend he didn't existed to spare themselves the sadness and shame.
Stanford and Shermie Pines. The only children worth mentioning of Filbrick and Caryn Pines.
It was never Stanford that was lost to the world. It was Stanley, ever since he had to leave New Jersy- it was always him that had to be struck from the record. Change his name, change his state, change his affiliations, destroy the remains of ghost that was Stanley Pines. Kill him so the family doesn't bring him up, doesn't ask questions, stops asking "Stanford" about his twin.
I just keep thinking about the fact that since the day he made one single mistake all the way up until Ford walks out of that machine- Stanley Pines was killed and did not exist. And Stan himself had no one to blame, he had to play the part in his own demise- He is the only one who ever knew Stanley was alive and has been for decades.
He lives in the multitudes of every personality he's ever taken, all in the hope that he himself can stop being Stanley Pines.
#gravity falls#grunkle stan#stanley pines#STANLEYYYYYY#STANLEY THEY COULD NEVER MAKE ME HATE YOU STANLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#sharky rants#Just. Imagine the fucking shame you have to live with#the shame that you can never be yourself. That anything you were is unwanted and forgotten#The shame of just BEING- Of taking space of- of /breathing-/#Imagine the world; your friend; your family; your colleagues being so ashamed of having known you#that you feel more comfortable with a persona to present.#You feel more comfortable stealing the identity of someone you care for deeply if only to help#If only to feel capable for once. To feel like you belong- Like youre doing something good for once#Imagine the shame that brings you to be comfortable not being yourself for 40 years.#ALL CASE YOU BROKE ONE FUCKING PROJECT??????? COME ON#I mean- the deeprooted shame was started from earlier. He was 'the stupid twin“; 'the troublemaker”; “the cheat and thief”#This was a long time coming#But those werent MISTAKES- The one time he genuinely made a Mistake he lost everything#Like he really mattered so little to the people around him#and he cant really blame them.#My cousin is a genius. Hes smart and academically achieved since I was a baby.#The only thing I had that he didnt was my ability to draw. to be creative. The guy for the longest time had a better social life then me too#I used to get brought to tears seeing his accomplishments- seeing people praise him. The shame lived in me any time I had to see him#The shame that I was the black sheep of the family next to the golden standard for a son- for a student- for a friend.#when I was none of those things#And Im lucky he was my cousin- cause if he was my brother that would have haunted me EVERY DAY rather then once or twice a year#Im better with it now; Im more content with who I am- But trauma dump aside-#I very very very much understand Stans shame in being the stupid one. The unachieved one in a family full of achieved people#the shame thats angry at him for being better. at the family for treating him special. and most of all at yourself that you cant be better#its a visceral feeling that I sadly understand
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#I have a picture like this with my mom that we made in a “pueblito mágico”#And then he bought me my beloved cajeta candy#(condensed milk candy)#I want more themed photos with my mom :(#Anyway I love the feeling that Izuku only lived next to Inko#it’s a very special love that makes me kick my feet#The support with each other is palpable and I love the vibe they have. I want to kiss Izuku just for that#izuku midoriya#izuku fanart#deku#mha midoriya#anime fanart#fanart#inko midoriya#mha inko#my hero academia#boku no academia#bnha fanart#bnha#mha#digital art#art#artists on tumblr#my art#illustration#drawing#reference#practice#honneydraws ⊹⃬۫🍜̸᩠໋࣪꣹۫
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#cecilsweep and Welcome to Night Vale trending #1 in 2023
#welcome to night vale#wtnv#ive said it before but people not knowing wtnv makes me feel old#i remember the days before cecil had a canonical last name#so tumblr just gave him the jonathan sims treatment#aka called him cecil baldwin (the voice actor's name)#wtnv will always have a special place in my heart as my first fiction podcast#cecil palmer#cecilsweep#oh to be young and queer and stumble upon a funky little gay podcast about a horiffic and absurd little town#yes i am just reusing my tags from my last post#added a description#glad yall are enjoying my shitty meme#i made it while half-awake and unable to sleep because my tummy hurt :(#follow me for more shitty podcast memes#im currently going feral for malevolent#important note: girlies is gender neutral#tumblr sexyman poll
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JEON JUNGKOOK + fire stage performances 🔥 (cr. 0613data, namuspromised, moreloveforhobi)
happy birthday, steph! @cosmicdreamgrl 💗
#jungkook#jeon jungkook#jeongguk#jungkookedit#bts#btsedit#btsgif#gif#userkelli#usersky#annietrack#userdimple#raplineuser#rjshope#useremmeline#usermaggie#dailybts#armysource#hi my love!!! happiest of the birthdays bb. wishing you the best today and always!#you're a gift and i feel very lucky to have you in my life. can't express how much i love and adore you 💗 you're so special and important#even jeongguk releases a song in your bday that's so meaningful 🥺🥺#this is just a little gift to you! hope you like it <3 watching this DANGEROUS man performing makes me think of you!#and ofc it has a lot more fire performances but i'm not good as you in giffing choreos so got to keep it short asldasd#hope i post this in the correct timezone adshjaksd i love u bb!
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MAKE ME CHOOSE → DRAGON AGE or MASS EFFECT (for @elluvians)
#meedit#meedits#me1#me2#me3#my edit#mass effect 1#mass effect 2#mass effect 3#make me choose#gamingedit#videogameedit#dailygaming#userrainbow#singinprincess#underbetelgeuse#i absolutely love both series#but mass effect feels more special to me hfdgd :3#mass effect
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all of february's chibis ^_^
#well almost all there were sum private ones....#dude i took so many to make some extra money for my special month and like. idk#i got em all done and therefore i SHOULD be taking this many monthly but idkkkk </3 LOL#i feel so lazy abt not always taking this many...like dude a real job wld be much harder than drawing MAYBE 2 pictures a day. but augh#comms#a doodley#anyway....! opening for more comms later today....! + then ill have the amt taxes are gonna take from me....yaaaaay....
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Last part for old GF sketches
(Actually, most of these aren't old at all, but their average is brought down by the last picture, which I drew back in August and kept forgetting to post)
#fanart#drawing#gravity falls#stanford pines#stanley pines#i wish more people talked about Ford's piano skills#and his shadow puppet skills#i forgot what i was thinking when i rushed these out#something about Ford only taking pride in his skills because of how other people (ie Stanley) appreciate them#and how he attributes everything exceptional about himself to his hands bc that's where his deepest insecurities/motivations come from#but that isn't something Stan or most people think about at all#but he also IS really talented#and so he gets this big fragile ego#stemming from his mother and brother's praise#but also filbrick's neglect#so it's like outside validation is a substitute/reminder of the people that really loved him#bht also he thinks he's different from them and better than them#but he does love them#and he likes making them proud because he likes seeing them happy#maybe he doesn't know how else to make people happy#something something#Stan being his biggest supporter is a double edged sword#because his opinion matters the most and then he's gone#and Ford doesnt have anyone to show off to anymore#OR anyone who can call him a showoff when he gets too into his own head#OR the person he was pitted against in the first place that made him feel special#because- knowingly or not- they always compared themselves#idk man#Ford is an interesting guy and his head fascinates me
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rare footage of my first encounter with the best new Pokemon
#meeting new pokemon I like is so special#it makes me feel like a kid again#I had the same reaction to falinks#It's so much more fun than looking at the leaked pokedex and choosing my team beforehand#fan art#pokemon#digital art#pokemon sv#pokemon scarlet and violet#orthworm#pokemon spoilers
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The absolute biggest thing I've learned as a trans guy: there is nothing more masculine and manly than not caring about looking or acting masculine or manly. Growing your masculinity or manhood takes time and care - you have no obligation to let the world water your garden when you can do that just fine (and you can, even if it doesn't feel like you can!)
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#nonbinary#trans advice#got a stereotypically 'feminine/woman' piercing and. i feel like a man *inverted shania twain riff from man! i feel like a woman*#nothing affirms my manhood more than not caring about the genuinely toxic imaginings that the world has about manhood and men like me 👍#yes it can be a struggle ESPECIALLY if you're somebody who actively has to defend your masculinity/manhood...#...it's hard for me too sometimes. i had to not only build my manhood but jealously defend it from the 'phobes...#...but i am all the better for it because this is MINE. i have never truly owned something in this way...#...i don't own other people nor my cats nor even my material possessions - not in the way i own my manhood...#...i own it like a tiger owns his territory and i defend it similarly...#...i do not WANT to own my loved ones or possessions the same as i own my manhood and masculinity. this is special to me#my manhood was *made* for me to be owned anyway. i feel that applies to every trans person who hasn't felt able to own themselves#this is in the same vein as learning to cast aside the cissexist views of bodies&experiences that can make dysphoria worae
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Huzzah! It's birthday time! I'm slowly accumulating more and more things I like (latest additions this vest I made and a travel typewriter! Still need to fix the latter one though)
Sure has been a year.
#terri#niart#got my wisdom toofies out#well 2 out of 4#still got stitches#idk if this removal lowkey fixed my fear of the dentist?#it was so easy and painless#also finally i'm on anxiety meds jkahsdjash#i also got depression meds but i haven't tested them yet#I'm going to see the love of my life soon again!!!#only 2 more months to go....#i've also finally found awesome friends who don't make me feel like i'm insane for wanting to be cared for#the difference is like night and day#old friends saying hey let's surprise another friend of ours oh also i think it's your birthday on that day#new friends reminding me to pick a brunch place for us to go on my special day#i am sobbing#the right people are out there#don't lose hope#i've never felt this platonically loved honestly#also yes i'm working on the next dragon's lair aksjdhasjkd#just#a lot of things happening and i'm sooo burnt out#this piece was such a strain and i just#don't have patience for art rn#this is photobashed btw there's an actual photo of my typewriter under all those layers#i'm not about to spend 300 hours just to draw a typewriter from this angle kajshdjkasdh#ALSO ONE MORE THING CAN I JUST GUSH ABOUT THE ANASTASIA BROADWAY OKAY?!?!?!#I didn't realise until now that they made it way more historically inspired and i mean bruh BRUH#i have been having a recording of it playing on the background nonstop for like 3 days now#Vladimir Popov I want to inject you straight into my veins holy shit he is a perfect man
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once you notice how few characters in media have brown eyes it really becomes impossible to not pay attention to it and its been bothering me ever since
#ganondoodles talks#i now its not that there are literally zero#but it almost is#and i get giving fictional characters non natural eye colors is fun#but blue and green is still everywhere evne tho those are also real#like sometimes it feels like brown is actively avoided#going for red or yellow instead#and i know in anime especialyl theres this idea i think that similar to hair color its bcs the majority of japanese people have those#so it feels 'more special' if its anything but that#idk how much of that is true#also its not just anime#feels weird#brown is such a diverse and beautiful color#makes me sad
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you guys really seemed to like the Rick and Morty memes so here’s more I forgot to post
PROSHIP/RICKORTY DNI
#proship dni#rick and morty#morty smith#beth smith#jerry smith#rick and morty meme#the Morty one makes me cackle I feel like I really captured the original’s expression of anguish#alsoooooo I want more beth content idk#bi Morty is so special to me
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"Sixer's entire sense of self worth was tied up in his self image as a lone genius"
#Ford needing praise is killing me :')#(probably bc I'm the same)#but really these two making me crazy with Bill letting Ford win#just to make him feel special#idk if it's just manipulation or more it still special to me 😭☝#gravity falls#gravity falls fandom#gravity falls bill#gravity falls stanford#standford pines#bill cipher#billford#book of bill#thisisnotawebsitedotcom
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I know this has already been said and I’m super late, but Mia as the protag of RE8 would have been so good. The contrast between Mia, the Lords, and Mother Miranda would have been absolutely interesting. I'm shoving everything under a read more because damn I have so many thoughts about Mia.
Lady Dimitrescu is a woman that cannibalizes and drinks the blood of her servants and intruders. On top of that, she tortures before preying on them. She does this willingly and very much derives pleasure from doing so. Lady D’s gothic triplets hunt any poor fool that wanders in. It’s a fun family activity for them just as much as it’s for sustenance.
Do you know what this parallels? The Baker family under Eveline’s control. They patrol the estate and anyone who rejects the “gift” either ends up molded or on the dinner table. This family also partakes in a fucked up version of a family dinner, eating the victims that refused their little girl’s “gift.”
However, a major difference between the Baker and Dimitrescu family is their willingness to participate in these activities. A family of cannibals; one forced while the other relishes in it.
Mia is still very traumatized by her three years in the Baker’s estate. Breaking into the castle to find her daughter would force her back. Hello to all the emotions that come with those memories, the ones Mia has been trying to forget. The harder you try to forget something, the more you think about it. What better way to make Mia acknowledge Dulvey, Louisiana than by forcing her into something so similar?
And while she’s still reeling from remembering her time in captivity, why not push her a bit further down memory lane with House Beneviento? Mia has demonstrated at multiple points in RE7 that she does care about other lives. She lies to Ethan to keep him from getting caught up in her work. She tries to save Alan and crew members of "The Annabelle" (the crew members are a bit more indirect, she mainly focused on Alan) by containing Eveline. After Jack finds her, Mia keeps her distance to keep from infecting them while trying to write a warning. She tries her hardest during RE7 to save Ethan.
Mia’s hallucinations could center on her guilt. The failure to stop Eveline and the lives ruined as a result. How she was always too late to help anyone. Ethan curing her, a criminal, over Zoe, the person helping him. Leaving Zoe behind in the shattered remains of her home and family. Surviving. Visions of Ethan hinting at his “condition” could lure her to the manor. A little nudge to the whole “he was mold the entire time” plot twist without fully giving it away.
Moreau, lacking in self worth and very attached to a woman who doesn’t give him the time a day, yet still he considers her as his mother. Most of his actions are for the attention and validation from his “mother.” No matter what Moreau does, he’ll never have her affection or time. It’s sad, isn’t it? To witness a man try so hard only to be rejected. And isn’t that familiar? Mia once felt compassion for someone with similar traits.
Remember the little girl who considered you her mother? The one that spent three years waiting for you to love her after you promised? The one you had a hand in killing? What makes you think you could ever be a good mother after what you did? Why are you trying so hard to save Rose when you didn’t even extend the same courtesy to Eveline?
Y’all know how Mia’s past is a mystery? Like why she was working for the Connections and how she was even recruited and all that. Heisenberg would be a great way to explore it. A man taken, forced into becoming something else, and stuck in a family he doesn’t want. Mia can relate. He wants to use her daughter as a weapon. She was willing to let another child be used as a weapon. They’re alike, so surely Mia would be willing to side with him.
But Heisenberg is cocky and Mia isn’t the person she was prior/during 7. Even if she was on board with using Eveline as a weapon to end all wars or whatever bullshit the Connections told her, she’s not willing now. Not after what she’s seen and been through. This section could be Heisenberg goading her through the tvs/intercoms about her past to change her mind with Mia remaining steadfast in her refusal.
And then there’s Mother Miranda. Two mothers trying to get their daughters back through vastly different means. Because of the group photo showing Mia and Miranda with Eveline this encounter can go one of two ways.
Miranda and Mia know each other and have worked together before. Whether it be on the E-Series Project (with Mia becoming the caretaker and spending copious amounts of time at the lab) or though some other means at work.
They’ve only briefly met when the Connections were in a hurry to transport Eveline.
Either way, Miranda would compare them. As a mother, Mia must understand what she’s trying to accomplish. Would Mia not do the same as she? Maybe at this point Miranda shows she killed Ethan to demoralize to prevent her from interfering with the ceremony. Tells her she’s too late once again and to give Rose to her because she’ll be the superior mother.
Idk, I guess you could switch to Ethan instead of Chris so he can still have Eveline tell him he’s moldy. But he’s a stubborn man and he forces himself back to weaken Miranda so Mia can kill her. Chris shows up and Ethan does the same thing he did at the end by blowing himself up with Chris forcing Mia (with Rose) on the helicopter. That way the Shadow of Rose DLC can still be about Rose and Ethan.
TLDR; Mia should have been the protagonist because it would have allowed us to explore her character and background more. It was a missed opportunity especially since so much of RE8 centers around mothers. It would have played out better as closing off the Winters Family saga as well since we could have tied the loose ends that came with Mia’s mysterious past.
#resident evil#resident evil village#mia winters#mother miranda#lady dimitrescu#karl heisenberg#donna beneviento#salvatore moreau#ethan winters#eveline re7#my text#mia and zoe are also still infected or moldy like ethan and it feels like it's very much being ignored#because there's a document in the salt mine that says if you've been infected for to long that the cure would kill you#and those 2 are very much still alive so they have to be infected like or in a similar way to ethan#it was for 3 yrs there is no way to undo that shit with a shot or two#not when all their cells would have been infected with mold by then#the line about mia feeling compassion about evie's situation is from the guidebook#and i think moreau would dredge up for those feelings that have long since been buried because of the baker incident#since he's doing similar-ish things to what evie did for a family/love#anyways morally grey characters really interest me so i really just want to know more about mia lol#i also really want to know what happened on the ship#because i don't believe the imprinting protocol alone would make evie that attached to mia as her mom#when she could have had marguerite as her mom like why is mia so special you'd wait 3 years for her to comply??#anyways that's for a whole different post lol
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