#it makes me feel helpless
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Palestinian men should not have to repeatedly hold up pictures of their family struggling through a genocide, for us to care about them. Fundraisers conducted by/for Palestinian men, should not have to repeatedly refer to their mothers, sisters, wives and children, to make us realize their humanity, their vulnerability. Enough. Isn't it enough after so many months? Hadn't it always been enough?
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#im less unhappy about my own life than about the fact that all i can do is sit and watch#just sit and watch while the people i love are hurting and i cant do anything to fix it#it makes me feel helpless#it makes me feel selfish#like am i wanting to help because i want them to feel better#or to make myself feel better#either way#i just want to be able to help#if i focus on the problems of other people then mine can't catch up to me#if i can somehow make them happy then i can ignore my fruitless pursuit of happiness#because ive learned long ago thar im not meant to be happy#and that things are so bad because ive overstayed my welcome on earth#2017. 2021. and all the almosts in between and beyond#im just lost#no job no plans no life#a shell of what a human being once was#it's exactly how i feared. how i told others and my psych#i will always go back to my old ways#the desire to rot away#vent
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Im sad so I drew cute itafushi to cheer myself up ;)
#itadori yuji#fushiguro megumi#itafushi#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#my art#like…so many bad things happen to me lately and i feel really helpless cuz i cant do anything about it#its like everything in my life got fuked up all at once#i cried a lot and i feel useless but yeah at least i can still draw something cute#i hope its cute tho#and i hope this art can make someone’s day better as well
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This is what's happening in Gaza right now. Bombing the strip and focusing on the south 24/7. It's worse than before. Injuries and deaths among kids. The world should see this, even if you can't bear to look, everybody should know the lengths israel goes to, how limitless Netanyahu's evil is. Israel vs children. This has to stop, we need to do more. We can't let this continue! Free Palestine and stop the genocide! These are humans!!! These are real people going through this!!!
⚠️ Trigger warning ⚠️ graphic. for a little boy with a head injury and a video of an injured child.
#everything that we did is not enough#god the helplessness is eating me alive as i watch my people die#they all look like me they look like my family like my friends they share their names#does this make Netanyahu and the IOF feel strong?#palestine#gaza#israel#important#current events#free palestine#ethnic cleansing#free gaza#gaza strip#gaza under attack#gaza under genocide#israel apartheid#israel is an apartheid state#israel is a terrorist state#israel is terrorist#usa#america#joe biden#netenyahu#winter#video#tw#we are not numbers#free palestine 🇵🇸#from the river to the sea palestine will be free
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NO ONE ELSE CAN HELP YOU
NO ONE ELSE CAN HELP YOU
(objectober 2024 day 20: dream)
#dandy's doodles#inanimate insanity#ii#ii mephone#i don't feel like tagging the others... individually they're not that important anyway#objectober#objectober 2024#featuring lyrics from dream by roar :) one of my favorite songs of theirs#roar has an incredible capacity for expressing helplessness and isolation in their songs. it's so heart-wrenching. horribly real#i don't know the 'real' meaning but i've always seen dream as being about wanting to make your parents happy#and feeling like you're always failing#and now that they're gone you feel totally lost cuz you've based your whole life around making them happy#and you feel so alone and scared without them#and you don't know whether to continue following what they would've wanted#or to pursue dreams you feel you can never achieve without their support#i may or may not be projecting... but in any case it's very VERY fitting for mephone#and the prompt immediately made me think of the song and him... so...#very fond of how this turned out :)
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So the Lion was just like. Full on infantilizing her, huh
#the way the winged lion treats Marcille makes me sooooo I’m sooooo#he makes her feel so small so helpless so reliant… the abuse metaphor of it all…. aughhhhh
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I hc mephone4 is very insecure about his higher emotional drive compared to mepad. The fact that the one he saved ends up taking care of him daily is an ego hit, and causes old wounds to open up.
#mepad doesn't care btw#not adultification literally kinda woke up as a grown man#and that makes mepad so upset and self conscious because hes still erratic and petty and ''childish'' without the privilege of just#waking up whole#so basically yeah ''Im incomplete and it ruins me'' being taken care of by ''I know who i am but you cant respect that''#osc#mepad ii#ii mephone4#still feeling like a helpless fresh memory bot whenever Mepad so effortlessly uses reason and understanding to dismiss him
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Having the Pool Dream again, handsome?
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#mdzs au#MDZS disco elysium au#[Pain Threshold - Formidable 13]: Endure it.#I am once again putting my brain ramblings on display to give me a bit more time to finish the comic this is based off of#I promise this will make sense in context. Maybe.#Disco AU gives me the opportunity to explore the idea of 'what if wwx and lwj were even *more* neurotic and haunted?'#LWJ absolutely would have repetitive nightmares about wwx with the themes of inevitability and helplessness.#Sometimes its him dying as wwx stands by. Sometimes it is him - unable to move as wwx slowly fades away.#Haunted by the past....Lost to the pale tides of mourning. Welcoming the pain just to feel the memory nearby.#See you all tomorrow for the Real Comic (manifesting it by saying it over and over again)#side note: I think wwx would be a great lifeguard. He would love heckling teens and helping out kids and old folks.#Goofy but takes the health and safety aspect of his job very seriously.#There's gotta be an AU for that out there....right?
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inspired by this post cuz the only thing I love more than my OP blorbo losing it and going apeshit is my OP blorbo losing control completely
also this is my first Sonic fanart yay
#when you're having a bad quill day and your friends come over unexpectedly#but seriously yall#it's about#*clenches fist*#your own power making you feel helpless#you are your own rock and you fail#and the fear that you'll take others down with you#so you lose that last bastion of comfort#and become completely adrift in your own panic#*chefs kiss*#knuckles the echidna#sonic fanart#knuckles#knuckles fanart#the master emerald#the ME#my art#angst#knuckles angst
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our cat broke his hip on christmas
hi, your local guy-with-a-blog is here to dox himself so his cat can walk again!
i made posts earlier as this was happening, but now that i've heard back from enough vets to get an idea of how steep this is going to be, i can't not ask for help.
its cheesy to say, but my cats are my everything. mordred, especially, spends his days basically glued to my side. he's my little shadow, and i don't know where i'd be without him.
when he woke me up to feed him at 6am on christmas morning, he was completely fine. i went back to sleep after, and when i woke up for real at 8, he was limp on the ground. when we went to move him, he howled and thrashed like we were torturing him. he ran, and we saw he wasn't using his right back leg.
many tears and an anxiety riddled 4 hour wait for our emergency vet appointment later, we were told he had a right capital physeal fracture, which basically means he snapped the ball bit of the ball joint in his hip. the vet said the best option for him is a femoral head and neck ostectomy (FHO), which'll take the broke bit of his bone out and the scar tissue will sort of just grow in the right way to replace his missing joint (cats are so weird)
its the cheapest option, and its the one with the best success rate, which is super lucky. unfortunately, its still expensive as fuck.
weve been quoted anywhere between 3.5k and 8k by vets i've contacted so far, and most need at least half as a downpayment before they'll operate. it'd take us years to cover the full cost by ourselves. so we've got to break out the big guns - a full gofundme, which will be shared with basically everyone we know, and hopefully far past that as well. carecredit can only cover so much for us, and our immediate family can't afford to lend us much. the internet is our only hope for meeting the full cost and getting mordred better
mordred's the light of my life and i can't stand to see him in pain like this. anything helps. if youre not in a financial state where you can donate, spreading the word is just as important and just as deeply appreciated.
thank you so much for getting this far.
our gofundme is here
#ive never really been so desperate for an assistance post to take off before i dont know what to tag this as#but its breaking my heart to look at him and know im so far from being able to fix him#rbs appreciated#anything appreciated even just kind words to make me feel a little less helpless#i hate living in a HCOL area i keep seeing vets in the south wholl do it for under 2k and it makes me want to cry#if i didnt think the trip would be immensely painful for him id just do it like that
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i think a big thing people get wrong w leafpool’s character is thinking her passivity comes from like fear or insecurity or being shy or something when really it comes from like. defeat. she’s been burned so many times so now she just accepts it there’s no point in fighting back
#learned helplessness#in tnp she’s very much like a rulebreaker and kind of a little shit lol#she likes going out on her own and making friends with cats from other clans and getting involved in things cuz she’s bored#she’s rebellious and craves having deep connections with others which is why being a medicine cat starts to weight on her and makes her#impulsively decide to run away with crow#esp because she’s also watching her best friend sorreltail grow up and move on. and she’s watching her sister grow up and move on#AND SHE FEELS STUCK SHES LIKE OH. BUT THIS IS IT FOR ME ISNT IT?#so she just reacts she needs to get away!! and then everything comes crashing down and she spends the rest of her life getting punished for#that choice#which slowly crushes her fire and teaches her that her desire for something ‘more’ was never going to work out#and she’s too tired to keep fighting so she accepts that#but she’s miserable about it and this misery makes her even more exhausted#so then she just kinda ends up numb#there’s no point!#SHES SO INTERESTING TO ME AAAAAUUUUGHHHHHHH it’s been so long since i’ve rambled about leafpool….. my girl……
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not to be bad disabled representation but does anyone else get sad when they think about their disabilities too much
#the isolation of being disabled and especially growing up#the guilt of having mobility aids and taking up space#the anger of knowing there are just some things you *can't* do#especially if you could in the past#the turbulence of some days being worse or better than others#the frustration of it staying the same#the helplessness of wanting your disabilities to be seen and accommodated for and they're not#the shame when you wish they couldn't be seen#like man idk about you but that's making me stare at the ceiling at 2 am holding back sniffles#sorry i don't mean to complain a lot i just carry a lot of constant feelings about being disabled lol#actually disabled#neurodivergent#physically disabled#feel free to add on any other feelings wherever
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"You didn't stop when I begged you" theres tears in his eyes i think
#he just wants to go home#hes angry but hes tired#he tried being good. he tried asking kindly for his tormentor to back off that hes learned his lesson that hes ready to be good now#but the only thing he can do to be listened to is make poseidon hurt as much as he has#make him helpless and defenseless#make him feel pain like he does#hurt hurt hurt hurt#you didnt stop when i needed you to so why should i stop just because you scream at me to#you kept hurting me because you wanted to#you turned me into this#you made me this way#stop begging like you have the right#epic the musical#600 strike#epic vengeance saga#vengeance saga spoilers
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It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry
( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)
(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)
#I just realized I can call him dad easier than my real dad and now I understand why am I so damn attached to him#I always knew he was a parental figure for me#but now I connected the dots#How when u have an absent dad and a d34d mom a guy shows up in ur life#that tells u life advice that both of ur parents failed to do so#and makes u feel safe the first time in ur life#ofc ud become attached#i know for sure its unhealthy how much i love and miss him#he occupies most of my thoughts honestly#But how could i not cling to him so much when he was the only one who gave me hope in life#i try to keep going and even tho he is not here i keep telling myself whatever he taught me. i keep reminding myself he wants us to live an#bloom and be free#and that's what ill try to do#but you know somedays i wish i could just disappear and be wrapped in eternal happiness#its so fucking hard to pull yourself out of the slump man im so fucking tired im so so tired#somedays i wish id have the courage to off myself but i know that deep down i want to live and ive always wanted to live but i have no idea#how to live. i feel like i finally found a purpose and someone i love. but at the same time im always doubting myself and im scared of losi#g this little hope again and i know i should cherish and use it instead but each day i have this anxiety because rn i have nothing else if#lose this i seriously will lose everything atp. but ill still try bc rn its this or death so i should try im just damn tired yes anyways#sorry for being depressing some days just dont work out but thats okay#yes at the same time i want to get out of my head and try to find some friends but i cant deny that im highkey fucked up and i just cant le#go of my past and i still feel like that helpless unloved kid and idk how to form relationships this way. i dont trust myself at all so idk#how to trust others. and i feel like in order to find ppl that would love me i have to overshare abt my whole lifestory bc it still dictate#my life heavily. and since i met this band its better cuz im learning to deal w it and i want to heal from everything but yes at the same t#me who would wqnt to be friends w. someone that has like a year of life experience and 18 years of depression lol#so yes its complicated. bc i have friends but im like the funny friend. the one that is as shallow as puddle and has no problems but honest#y im genuinely sufferint qnd have been sufferinz all my life so i want to come out of my funny friend role. but that wojld mean i have to t#ll the shit i went through to all my friends but tbh it would be so random so ye. i do have a plan though. how it could work. But yes im ti#ed have been tired for 7 years now. But this time around i hope i can successfully get out of this torture cycle lol.#ok sorry this is what happens after puberty guys i could beva research case for a damn mental institute atp xdd
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Bitches be like “I hate drama” and then their romantic vs Dramatic points is like
It’s me, I’m bitches
#i just#the dramatic routes are so entertaining#shit is going down#in Sebastian’s route rn#I’m at like chapter 13#my heart#but also I’m frustrated bc I’m literally a medical student so I feel like MC would have a differe outlook than me#eh whatever#ikemen series#ikemen vampire sebastian#like I would want to help Faust make the new meds or monitor sebs health and just generally would not feel as helpless as the heroine idk#cybird ikemen#ikemen#ikemen sengoku#ikemen revolution#ikevamp#romantic vs dramatic#team drama all the way#drama queen
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Feel like making people miserable today. Anyways, here's Gon experiencing like. Textbook symptoms of trauma in the CAA, in case there was any lingering doubt about this or anything:
Initial denial that the experience happened or was traumatic
[ID: A screenshot from episode 85 of HxH 2011. Gon, eyes bright and with a smile, says "Kite is alive!" End ID.]
Flashbacks
[ID: Two screenshots from episode 95, and a third from episode 110. In the first, Kite's arm is shown in the foreground, bleeding and blurred. In the second, a close of Pitou's wide eyes, looking animalistic. In the last, puppet Kite's mangled and scarred face stares emptily ahead - the scene is greyed out. End ID.]
Intense distress at real or symbolic reminders of the trauma
[ID: Two screenshots from episode 116. In the first, Gon's fist can be seen in the foreground, with Pitou shielding an unconscious Komugi just barely seen. The narrator says "The girl lying before them brought back". In the second, Komugi has a medical respirator on. The narrator continues "images of a broken Kite to Gon's mind". End ID.]
Physical sensations such as pain, sweating, nausea or trembling
[ID: A screenshot from episode 116. Gon's fists slam into the ground as he says "That isn't fair...". Sweat drips down his arms. End ID.]
Extreme alertness/hypervigilance
[ID: A screenshot from episode 116. Part of Pitou can be seen in the foreground as Gon stares at them intensely, crouched on the ground with his arm resting on his knee, obscuring his lower face. End ID.]
Angry outbursts or other extreme behaviour
[ID: Two screenshots, one from episode 116, and the other from episode 127. In the first, Gon shouts "Is something wrong with you?!" as his face contorts with rage. His aura floats black around him. In the second, Gon, his face shadowed eerily with thin lines, says "The next time you try to delay me, I'll kill her." End ID.]
Feeling like you have to keep busy
[ID: A screenshot from episode 94. A close up of Gon's face from the side as he says "I want to focus on my training." End ID.]
Doing things that are reckless and self-destructive
[ID: Three screenshots, one from episode 95 and the other two from episode 131. The first is stylized as a black outline of Gon's figure over a background like parchment or a projector - he's been hit in the face and sent to the right from the force of the blow. The second is a close up of Gon's face, almost completely shadowed, with intense and vacant eyes - he says "I don't care". The third continues with a close up of his eye filling with darkness - "if this is the end..." End ID.]
Feeling like nobody understands ("since it means nothing to you")
[ID: A screenshot from episode 116. In a whitish-room with a crack on the wall between them, Gon stands ahead of Killua, facing away from him. They are both in shadow. End ID.]
Ignoring offers of help and shutting out loved ones... poor Killua :(
[ID: A screenshot from episode 136. A spotlight on both Killua, in the foreground, and Gon, walking away from him in the background. Killua thinks "I wanted you to ask for my help in defeating Pitou!" End ID.]
Self-loathing, self-punishment, and lack of self regard
[ID: Three screenshots, two from episode 110 and the third from episode 131. The first is a close up of Gon's face over Morel asking "When would you try to hurt yourself?" The second is a continuation. Morel looks down at Gon who is facing away from the camera as Gon replies "When I couldn't forgive myself." In the last, adult Gon, staring ahead, is animated in black and white with the only colour being the blood from the stump of his right arm. His left hand grips his shoulder. End ID.]
Blaming yourself for what happened
[ID: Two screenshots, one from episode 95 and the other from episode 130. In the first, Gon hugs puppet Kite around his waist. In the second, Gon stares blankly ahead with tears streaming down his face as he thinks "I killed Kite." End ID.]
Overwhelming feelings of anger, sadness, guilt, and shame
#all this wasn't going to fit into my gon analysis but i still wanted to cover it#when i say he was genuinely traumatized i. actually seriously mean that.#note that this does NOT mean he had ptsd!!! ptsd should only be diagnosed if symptoms continue for several weeks to a month#after being removed from the traumatic situation#given that the trauma was ongoing this does not count! we could only say he has ptsd if somehow these symptoms persist when#he's back on whale island after the fact. but honestly i doubt they would#however. in caa? yeah 100% he was very traumatized by kite's death#hence all the trauma symptoms i listed above. poor little guy :(#storyrambles#hxh#gon freecss#this post hurt me to make btw. ow. ow.#i also. cruel as it is i genuinely like that gon's trauma fueled breakdown was. not palatable. like he is genuinely really scary there#and it's REALLY hard to watch and listen to#i really get why killua felt so helpless there.#like. your best friend is incredibly fucking volatile and very obviously wants to and is intending to run himself into the ground#because he feels he deserves it#what the hell is the other thirteen year old supposed to do here. :(#random thoughts
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