#it made me really reflect
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Note
âď¸đđ¤đ
MUNDAY ASKS âď¸Â â ever traveled anywhere interesting? đ â whatâs your favorite part about being part of the rpc? đ¤ â what do you dislike the most about being part of the rpc? đ â what are some of your favorite things to do when you have some time to yourself? ((Cut for length!))
âď¸---I've been to a lot of places in my life, but I do have a few very core memories from those areas that I think fundamentally changed me as a person. This might be long, so, sorry!
One of my first times outside of the country of my birth was when I visited Mexico, I was maybe 8 years old, and I remember vividly there was a tiny black cat that kept following me. I spend every waking minute I could with this cat, feeding her, taking her into our hotel room so she could have a safe place to be, brushing her and holding her often. I think about her often, and I remember having to leave her behind, it was somewhat devastating for me and even thinking about her now makes me misty eyed. I know she grew older, and eventually passed, but I hope her life was filled with other little children who would take her inside and give her kisses and pieces of fish from their dinner. She deserved that. And it was a privilege to be able to love her.
đ---ALL OF YOU! It sounds immensely cheesy, but you all have really helped me improve my confidence in writing and my art. I've gained a very wonderful group of people I'm happy to call my friends that I feel like I can connect with so easily; it's a breath of fresh air. To be able to just..talk and discuss ideas freely is so calming. I genuinely didn't think Robin would be as well liked as he is, so that's been a very big boost.
đ¤---To be honest, I've only really had a single bad experience so far, and I'm very grateful for that. I don't like adding to drama or call-out culture because I think it's extremely immature haha--so I won't go over it here! I've buried the incident and would like to keep it under the dirt, I've healed from it, gained people I genuinely love, and won't let it bring me down or let that painful time define me. The world is so much more than that.
đ---Oh geez, well, I often write on here! I really love writing, plotting and allowing the expanse of my emotions to be placed into something positive! I also sew, cook and garden. Granted these are all also things to actively do, one of my favorite things to do, and due to my sleeping schedule it happens often, I love to go onto my porch late at night, maybe 2-3am, and just...look up? There's something so calming, and haunting, to me about just gazing up into the wide abyss above, an infinite stretch far greater than anything I could ever hope to imagine. Untouchable, and so distant, and yet, inspiring. I see the beauty of the stars and am reminded that that is what I'm built from, stardust and trillions of years in the making. I realize then that...I am alive, and I am here in the present moment...What a wonderful and rare thing, even if its only for a blip in the cosmic timeline, and even if I ultimately don't leave anything lasting I will always have the knowledge that I was here. I got to experience the world, my life, my loves, my anger, sadness, the cool grass under my feet, and moments of joy that make me laugh so hard I cry--and in that moment I feel truly relaxed and at peace.
#mun speaks#munday meme#ionianelder#thank you for this ask#truly#I did cry a little writing it but#it made me really reflect
2 notes
¡
View notes
Text
something something max's main color being red with blue highlights something something grace's main color being blue with red highlights something something motivations something something alive and dead something something
#would i like to do an analysis on the lighting? yes.#but for some reason my brain is only capable of analyzing bf and some bits of tgwdlm#dont expect much from me#but something i CAN say is that#the colors can represent their motivations and connections to the lords in black#such as dying in the waylon hall and getting to use the black book#and by motivations i mean#with grace; she decided to use the powers of the black book to get rid of 'dirty dudes'#which is something she most likely believes as a correct action#but the red highlights indicate the bits on evilness in her#it shows how her intentions don't change her actions#and for max; red is for vengeance#yet the blue highlights are used in here#mostly for 'who will pray for me' bit#and#this is something related. i believe that max was reflecting himself when saying those lines#it was not only for richie to repeat but also about himself#anyway back to the lighting#the blue represents that there is something deeper than just vengeance#'who will pray for me when im gone'#thats about himself. he knows that no one in the schoo really cared that much about his death besides the game#they only cared about the game. not max himself#so the lights during both npmd and ddmd represent#their connections to the lords. their motivations and intent. and how their actions are made#starkid#hatchetfield#nerdy prudes must die#npmd#max jagerman#grace chasity
506 notes
¡
View notes
Text
i think, for trauma survivors, especially those who were emotionally abused, invalidated, or gaslit, it is really important not to underestimate the significance of speaking bluntly about what happened to you. Forcing yourself not to beat around the bush, not to downplay what you went through with your words. say what happened, without any caveats, without any âbut it couldâve been worseâ, âbut i might just be being overdramaticâ, âbut it wasnât really THAT bad,â and so forth. sit with the discomfort until you can begin to let yourself realize that it WAS that bad, you WERENT being overdramatic, and even if it couldâve been worse you still didnât deserve it. Itâs almost like a form of reclamation, taking back your memories, taking back your life, even the difficult or gross parts, and refusing to let anyone change the narrative or tell you how you should feel anymore, even yourself. and it hurts and itâs scary and it feels weird and awkward and sometimes you want to convince yourself youâre lying, but i think sitting in those weird feelings and letting yourself admit that you really did go through trauma puts the power back in your hands to process things and be compassionate to yourself while you heal
#like. recently iâve been reflecting a lot on this trauma i have with this absolutely godawful english teacher i had in grade 7#he was an absolute creep and even though he never touched me i knew he touched other girls and made even creepier comments to them#than he did to me. and i never really had time to fully understand the gravity of the damage he did to me because i was#so focused on the fact that it couldâve been worse and he never even actually touched me or got that close to me save a few times#but yesterday as i was reflecting on this i finally got myself to admit. i was terrified of him and i was terrified for every fucking minute#that i spent in that class. and i was a child who never shouldâve had to deal with that and itâs clear that i still have a lot of problems#from that whole event. and the more times i repeat that and get myself to understand it. the more iâm able to be compassionate to myself now#and patient with myself in the things i struggle with as a result of what happened#childhood trauma#trauma#cptsd healing#cptsd recovery#cptsdawareness#trauma survivor#trauma recovery
1K notes
¡
View notes
Text
warning this might be a nothing post i'm just a little emotional & rambling but like... i think a lot about hometown showdown and gay and not proud a lot. and i understand this was in the peak of YouTube's fuckery with Dan and disrupting his plans for DINOK so i understand there's like a tension behind a lot of what was ongoing. i also realize that YouTube-- more obviously with hometown showdown-- but generally had strong business rationale for wanting Phil to feature in these videos, with Dan & Phil being the duo of HS and Phil being there in gay and not proud (sorry the acronym for this looks ugly).
but man... i think a lot about how hometown showdown was just kind of a lot of dates. i've not seen the other ones but i hear a lot that they were way more competitive versus Dan and Phil were just casually exploring their hometowns together, showing pieces of themselves to the other. i think about all the dialogue that was cut (that I think was alluded to in WDAPTEO 2?)
and i think about like. the seismic Importance of Phil being in gay and not proud as like... Dan's safe space. the same way he's remote crisis manager, the same way he was part of WAD's pre & post show, the same way he filmed that haircut video basically to promo YWGTTN and Dan is leaving me to talk about WAD. the same way that Dan got a taxi to his place after his nightmare experience at the laundromat to do laundry because "for the first time since I was a tiny child, I actually felt safe."
and after the latest mukbang it's like... it's really insane to me how their personal relationship has continued despite the pressures they've faced as being a comedic influencer duo. the fact that they work as business partners but still have this relationship. the fact that even in these YouTube originals that Dan was resentful of at the time anyway you can still glowingly see how much they love each other. like Phil being in gay and not proud wasn't a cameo, it was a fucking love confession.
i dunno. this is something that's been talked about a Lot but i do think about it frequently. i don't tend to rewatch these specials a lot because Jesus Christ the editing really gets me, but like... idk. "you're next to me in my life," or whatever. 15 years have passed and Phil's still cheerleading for Dan, from his first YouTube video to his first solo tour. i dunno.
#astra.txt#dan and phil#phan#i've said this before but that was the part of basically i'm gay that i think helped me the most personally. or at least really affected me#the idea of meeting someone who made you feel safe. and for a while i kind of thought i had that and then i reflect and i'm like...#... no i shouldn't really settle. because it IS so important.#one person accepting you CAN make all the difference. and i'm so glad Dan was able to find that person#and also obviously that Phil has Dan because Dan loves and supports Phil a lot too.#hate when i'm overly emotional about these videos because i don't want to rewatch but i am like mentally compelled to#the fact that Dan has done a lot of genuinely impressive solo work and Phil is like right there being like#guys read this book! guys go see him on tour! 45 minute masterpiece!#it's dan's birthday lets get that to trend! like UGH.
305 notes
¡
View notes
Text
á´á´á´á´ á´á´ á´Ęá´á´ęąá´ âł anonymous asked: HUSK and ALASTOR or angel and valentino?
#hazbin hotel#husk#hazbin husk#alastor#hazbin alastor#hazbin hotel edit#hazbin edit#radio demon#requested#make me choose#my gifs#dad beat dad#flashing gif#flickering gif#the full ask said ''in whichever way you define'' at the end so#i chose based off of which dynamic i'm more intrigued by. valentino as a villain and as a challenge to angel is REALLY interesting dont get#me wrong here. it's great. but THESE two have a lot of untapped potential for husk specifically#alastor is just there at the moment but HUSK. husk. it really is a mirror to angel's situation - everything wrong in his afterlife is#because of that gamble. but he WAS an overlord. HE was the one doing that horrible shit before. that's INTERESTING!!#he gathered and gambled away souls like money. it was all just a game to him. now HE'S getting his. a sick poetic justice in a way.#i am SO excited to see if they dive into this more!! will he ever self reflect? if he does will we SEE him doing this reflection? will it#be enough to play a part in him choosing to redeem himself? or even decide if redemption is worth the effort? i feel like there's potential#with his dynamic with alastor to influence that big time + his friendship with angel will also be a major factor#also making this set made me realize the hallway scene is like their one major interaction. jfc and it's fucking HORRIFYING lmao#look i loved their pilot interaction/dynamic as much as the next person but this is just. SO much better. more things to explore.#i'm really glad in the end that they were rewritten in this way. A+
235 notes
¡
View notes
Note
âď¸Hey Bones! Is it ok if you explain and/or elaborate how Crowfeather is abusive to Breezepelt if please?âď¸
I do KNOW that crowfeather is indeed, abusive to Breezepelt, due to the fact that he emotionally and/or physically neglected him - with child neglect being known to BE a form of child abuse - and I also heard that he slashed and/or hit him within one of the books, which I believe is in the book Outcast, in chapter 16.
But I also wish people would talk and be informed about it more within the fandom, because in the parts of the fandom Iâve known portrayed Crowfeatherâs neglect on Breezepelt as negative and bad, but not in a way that made me think and/or feel: âWow, thatâs pretty bad. ThatâsâŚactually abusive.â I suppose? So I hope more people will talk about it more in that type of way.
Also, please be aware that I have NOT read PoT, OoTS, etc. or barely any warrior cats books, since the majority of the information I got from the series is from the wiki and the fandom, so that probably explains why I didnât know this part of Crowfeatherâs character is as bad as it actually is until now. Also, feel free to talk about Crowfeatherâs abuse on Breezepelt I havenât mentioned and/or donât know right now as well if you want.
Iâm SO sorry that if this ask is unintentionally quite long, and feel free to make sure to take all the time you need to answer it. Thank you!
OH LET'S GOOOO
Breezepelt is both physically and emotionally abused by Crowfeather. I'm not talking about only child neglect; he is screamed at, belittled, and even once hit on-screen.
The fact that Crowfeather both neglected and abused him is very important to the canonical story of Breezepaw. There's actually a lot more to this character than people remember! Even from his first appearances he displays good qualities, a strained relationship with his father and adult clanmates, and is clearly shown to be troubled before we understand why.
As many problems as I have with the direction of Breezepelt's arc (especially Crowfeather's Trial), his setup is legitimately a praiseworthy bit of writing from Po3 which carries over into OotS. To say that Breezepelt was not abused is to completely miss two arcs worth of books SCREAMING it.
BIG POST. Glossary;
INTRO TO BREEZEPELT: The Sight and Dark River
ABUSE: Outcast, Social Alienation, the Tribe Journey.
DARK FOREST: How these factors push him towards radicalization.
For "brevity," I'm not getting into anything post-OotS. I'm just showing that Breezepelt was abused, the narrative wants you to know that he was abused, and that his status as a victim of child abuse is CENTRAL to understanding why he is training in the Dark Forest.
INTRO TO BREEZEPELT: The Sight and Dark River
Our very first introduction to Breeze is when Jaypaw walks off a cliff in the first book of Po3 and is rescued by a WindClan patrol. He's making snarky remarks, and Whitetail and Crowfeather are not happy about it. Whitetail snaps for Crow to teach his son some manners, and Crow growls for Breezepaw to be quiet.
But our proper introduction to him is at his announcement gathering, when Heatherpaw playfully introduces him as a friend,
From the offset something's not entirely right here between Breezepaw and his father. He's cut off by Heatherpaw here, but he's touchy whenever his father is involved, and we're not entirely sure why.
Throughout Book 1, he's just rude, with a notable xenophobic streak. He's a bit of a mean rival character for Lionpaw, as they're both interested in the affections of Heatherpaw and make bids to get her attention, but nothing particularly violent yet.
He participates in the beloved Kitty Olympics and gets buried in liquid dirt with Lionpaw, basically a rite of passage for any arc.
(And Nightcloud has a cute moment where she watches over them until they fall asleep)
As the books progress, the relationship between Crow and Breeze visibly deteriorates. They start from being simply tense with each other in The Sight, to the open shouting and hitting we see in Outcast.
In the very first chapter of Dark River, we learn where his behavioral issues are really coming from;
Crowfeather.
Breezepelt is getting xenophobia from his father. Occasionally he says something bigoted and his dad will agree and chime in, and those are the only positive moments they have together.
(Note: In contrast, Nightcloud explicitly pushes back against xenophobia, chiding Breezepelt for his rudeness to Lionpaw in back in The Sight, Chapter 21. The Sight is the book where a lot of "evidence" that the Evil Overbearing Woman is actually responsible for the rift between father and son but. No. She's not. Though she can be overprotective; Crow and Breeze have a bad relationship when she's not even around in Breeze's first appearance and even his Crowfeather's Trial Epiphany refutes it. Anyway this post isn't about Nightcloud.)
So he starts acting on his bigotry, accusing cats in other Clans of stealing, running really close to the border. What's interesting though, is that this is not entirely his doing. The first time we get physical trouble from Breezepaw, DUSTPELT aggressed it. Breezepaw and Harepaw were just chasing a squirrel and hadn't yet gone over the border at all.
We learn that WindClan is teaching its apprentices how to hunt in woodland, and tensions between the two Clans is starting to escalate as ThunderClan isn't entirely trusting of their intentions.
The second time, fighting breaks out over him and Harepaw actually crossing the border and catching a squirrel. WindClan is adamant that because it came from their land, it's their squirrel. So it's as if Breezepaw is modelling the aggression around him, learning how to behave from the older warriors and his father.
When he joins Heatherpaw and The Three to go find Gorsetail's kits in the tunnels, he's grouchy towards the ThunderClan cats, but very gentle with the kittens. Notably so. When Thistlekit is dangerously cold, he cuddles up next to her, and even assures Swallowkit when she's scared,
Through this entire excursion, he's the one in the comforting roles for the kittens. Breezepaw is the one who is taking time to tell the kits they'll be okay, that he'll protect them, and physically supporting them when they're weak, even when he's terrified.
And it's always contrasted to Heatherpaw who's way more 'disciplined,' as a side note. It's a detail I'm just fond of.
All this to point out,
Breezepelt displays his best qualities when he's away from the older warriors of WindClan, and he's at his worst whenever he's near Crowfeather. Even while he's essentially just a bully character for The Three to deal with. He's gruff but cooperative when it's just him and Heatherpaw interacting with The Three, but mean when there is an adult to please.
We're getting to the on-screen abuse now, but Po3 actually sets up Breezepaw's troubles and dynamics well before it's finally confirmed that he is a victim of child abuse.
ABUSE: Outcast, the Tribe Journey.
In Outcast, Breezepaw's problems have escalated into open aggression towards cats of other Clans, and is now a legitimate concern for his own safety. Yet, he's spoken over by older warriors, and reprimanded at nearly every opportunity, right in front of the warrior of another Clan.
Squilf just asked the poor kid how his training was going, and then Whitetail JUMPS to talk over him so she can complain, RIGHT in front of his face.
They can't even wait until they're alone to grumble something rude about Breezepaw, who is still just a teenager here;
They taught him already that a bit of prey that runs off their own territory still belongs to WindClan, encourage him to blow past borders in pursuit, and started a battle with ThunderClan over this. And then they're pissed off at him for being aggressive, thinking it's deserved to scold him in public.
When Onestar announces that he wants Breezepaw to go on the Tribe Journey, he's devastated by it...
Because he thinks WindClan doesn't like him, and he's right. He's gossiped about, torn into in front of a ThunderClan warrior, and even his own dad doesn't want to be around him. It's clear that Breezepaw's impulsive "codebreaking" behaviors are a desire to prove himself, and once you realize that, the way that he's being alienated is heartbreaking.
But Wait!! Hold on a minute! Where did he get a "patrol of apprentices" from to confront the dogs with, exactly?
Simple. Breezepaw CAN make friends! He actually values them a lot! So much that it's the first thing Crowfeather snaps at him over, out of frustration that his son is also being forced on this journey with him. It's an angry response to his child having emotional and physical needs, resentment that will continue all journey long.
Note that it's plural, friends. Breezepelt has multiple friends, at least one who is not Heatherpaw, and she promises to say goodbye to them.
Up next, they state over and over, Crowfeather and Breezepaw do not like each other. Crowfeather resents being around him and dealing with his rudeness, embarrassed and angry, and Breezepaw is absolutely miserable being sent on a journey to the mountains with a man who hates his guts.
The whole while, Crowfeather is brooding longingly about Feathertail, already thinking about her as soon as he kitty-kisses Nightcloud goodbye, his eyes looking somewhere distant. He makes a jab about loyalty when Breezepaw doesn't understand why they're helping the Tribe.
Breezepaw gets smacked after he's "shoved" at Purdy and acts rude to him, while the other three manage to be polite (while still having internal dialogue about how stinky he is).
Without so much as a, "cut that out," Crowfeather raises his paw and hits him. Breeze is quiet after that.
I don't give a shit how rude your teenager is being. Do not hit kids. Being throttled on the head is not okay.
In spite of the Three not liking Breezepaw, or even Crowfeather, they're constantly noting that their arguments are not normal, and that Crow is a cold, unsupportive father who digs into his kid constantly, and the only time he ever DOES "discipline" his child it's through immediately smacking him.
At one point, the apprentices get hungry, and decide to foolishly hunt in a barn that they know has dogs in it against Purdy's warnings. Once again, JUST like the first two books, Breezepaw is more friendly when Crowfeather is not around.
EVERY time he is alone with cats his own age, he's grumpy but cooperative. Even enthusiastic at times! The minute Crowfeather is in the picture, he's nasty.
Naturally, the dogs show up, but Purdy rescues them. Though Brambleclaw also chews his kids out (and i have strong opinions about bramble's parenting style for another time), Hollypaw is taken aback by the contrast of what a scolding from Brambleclaw looks like vs how Crowfeather reacts.
The narrative is desperately trying to tell you that the way Crowfeather treats his son is not normal.
And then Crowfeather is pissed off that Breezepaw is exhausted from running for his life from hungry dogs,
And he's constantly losing his shit whenever Breezepaw says something as innocuous as "dad im hungry"
Then, Breezepaw is made to watch his dad pine over the grave of a woman who died long before Crowfeather was even considering his mother for a mate. What he feels is jealousy, because he knows his own father doesn't love him anywhere near as much as he loves the memory of Feathertail.
This really goes on and on and on. The ENTIRE trip is like this, with Crowfeather treating Breezepelt poorly, giving him a smack before even verbally warning him, pushing him past his limits and blowing up on him when he asks simple questions about eating or resting.
It all comes to a head in this one exchange, towards the end. Hollypaw ends up snapping at Breezepaw for his rudeness, before having an epiphany.
It's explicit. Crowfeather's emotional abuse, his "scorn" for Breezepelt, is what is driving a wedge between him and all of his older Clanmates. Between EVERYONE in Breezepelt's life who wasn't already his friend. This awful treatment is only making him worse and worse.
Realizing this, she has more sympathy for him, but it's too late. He continues to be rude to her because he feels insulted, and her patience completely runs out. She's just a kid. They're both just kids. She's not responsible for fixing him when he's pushing everyone away at this point.
That's the end of Breezepelt in Outcast. It can't be helped anymore. Any spark of friendship they had together in the barn, or in the tunnels, is gone.
As the series progresses, Crowfeather continues to refuse any personal responsibility for the mistreatment of his son, even pinning all of Breezepelt's behavioral problems on Nightcloud. He is a cold, selfish father who only ever thinks about his own pain and reputation.
DARK FOREST: How these factors push him towards radicalization.
Everyone talks about the Attack on Poppyfrost, which happens in the first book of OotS, in oversimplified terms. YES he is going after a nun and a pregnant woman. I've never said that's not Bad.
But no one talks about "WHY", and that reason is NOT just that he desires power like so many other WC villains. Breezepelt makes his motivation very clear on the page.
Escalating to violence was about making Jayfeather feel the way that he does.
When Breezepelt says that he wants Jay to be surrounded by "lies, hatred, and things that should never have happened," he's talking about the way HE grew up, knowing his father never wanted him, and that his Clan HATES him as a result. Killing Poppyfrost is about trying to frame Jayfeather for her murder, so ThunderClan won't trust him anymore.
When Jayfeather points out the simple truth that what Breezepelt is saying doesn't make any goddamn sense, his hatred "falters." He's blaming his half-clan half-brother for his own treatment because of the reveal, but totally failed to consider that JAYFEATHER'S ALREADY GOING THROUGH IT... so his response is just this pitiful, "s-shut up, man."
Then the ghost of Brokenstar and Breezepelt bounce him back and forth between them like a beach ball for a bit until Honeyfern's spirit shows up.
Breezepelt's childhood abuse and social alienation was a hook that the Dark Forest latched onto, to reel him in. His anger at his half-brother is so obviously misplaced that its absurdity was something Jayfeather pointed out.
We soon learn that it's the Dark Forest who's planting that ridiculous idea in his head;
The narration is SCREAMING, "The Dark Forest is validating the anger he feels towards his father, and redirecting it towards The Three." He's described as 'kitlike,' Tigerstar's eyes are compared to a hypnotizing snake.
This prose could not make it more obvious if it drove to your house, beat you with it, and then spoon fed you the point while you were hospitalized.
At the end of this scene, Tigerstar sends Hawkfrost to recruit Ivypaw. This scene where Breezepelt is being lovebombed, and the command to start grooming Ivypaw, ARE LINKED. That was a choice.
A VERY GOOD choice! Again, as many issues as I have with OotS, its handling of indoctrination is unironically fantastic, and it owes a good amount of that to the outstanding setup of Breezepelt that was done back in Po3. And that setup doesn't work if Crowfeather was merely distant.
Breezepelt was abused by his father, both verbally and physically. It drove him to be more aggressive to prove himself, modeling the battle culture around him. The adults of WindClan judged him based off Crowfeather's responses, shunning and belittling the 'problem' teenager, which eventually drove Breezepelt to the only group that he felt "understood" him.
In a book series that is RIFE with abuse apologia, this is one of the few times that there's any behavioral consequences for abuse and the narrative holds the perpetrator accountable for it.
But people hear Crowfeather's deflective excuse in The Last Hope where he says he never hated him, blames Nightcloud for everything, and just lick it up uncritically.
Gee whiz, I wonder why the guy who never blames himself for any of his problems would suddenly say it was his ex-wife's fault. Real headscratcher!
(Crowfeather's Trial then goes onto, for all my own problems with it, also hold Crow accountable as the reason why Breezepelt turned out like he did. But that's a topic for another day.)
#This is headcanon territory here. But one day I realized I can read Breezy-P with BPD and he became a blorbo.#Never been able to unsee it and it massively endears him to me... Breeze Pelt Disorder...#I actually REALLY hate how his arc was resolved and strongly feel that he should have progressed into a bigger problem#But I equally strongly feel that being redeemed is the ideal ending for him#so if it was between him being pure evil/redemption death or the awful halting we got at the end of oots....#I'd pick the halting over him being pure evil or a redemption death.#I think BB made me REALLY fall in love with him. He's my sweet cheese. My good time boy.#Bones when he sees an angry black cat: ''i can fix you. first i must break you. but then i can fix you''#Like. what i dislike about where he went is that even if your anger issues came from abuse. you STILL are responsible for your actions#but in the end getting that Shitty Dad Approval fixes him. Not his own growth or self-reflection.#it feels like BREEZE gets his agency stripped away for HIS ABUSIVE DAD'S character arc#It retcons in a reason why Breezepelt is not still a problem and then he faded into the background.#while Crowfeather continues to get supporting roles and every now and then Breeze now looks at him fondly#BLECH.#Crowfeather#Breezepelt#Abuse#Child Abuse#Warrior Cats Analysis#And now you know anon!!
639 notes
¡
View notes
Text
CASTIEL: Stop. What's the point if you don't mean it? You fear me - not love, not respect, just fear.
[youtube with closed captions]
a godstiel pity party. i'd like to thank an anon i got way back in february of 2021.
#spn#vid#spnamvarchive#so fun fact i started making this more than a year ago. got it 90% done. and then was like no this isn't working#i will come back to this later.#it turns out that i needed to make some videos about cas and angels (the love club + help i'm alive amvs)#in order to make this one. anyway this video is about french mistake robert singer voice season six#i really struggled with it because i could NOT find the thread until i realized that it needed to be literally godstiel pov#it's about love and desire and jealousy and hurt and omnidirectional rage <3#it's about the fact that cas is so utterly dependent on dean for his self-image - however dean sees him that's it#it's about having a moment of reflection about lashing out before you do it but doing it anyway#it's about taking cruelty and dishing it out#and crucially. it's about being pregnant#mpregpocalypse#fun fact: i made a post about working on three season six amvs all the way back in nov. 2022#and only now have they come to fruition (this one + love club + metric)#anyway. have you heard that cas is obsessed#the thing is i do kinda want to add some specific director's commentary here. like the first verse is about cas being like.#incredibly deeply emotionally vulnerable to dean. as in: his emotional state and self-image is totally dominated by what dean thinks of him#and if dean is mad at him. and then the second verse is about... dean upsetting him and him responding to that by Killing Everybody lol#like he has a moment of reflection ['certain regrettable things are now required of me' + killing rachel] where he's like i've 1) also done#bad things and 2) i feel bad about it so maybe i will regret Killing Everyone. but then he does it anyway due to everybody keeps turning#on him. i feel like the rest of the amv is self evident. i guess i should note that 'share a paradise' is about how both of them have#a nostalgic view of the early days of their relationship when it wasn't Like This lol. but everything else i think is self evident.#oh and the reason the other angels flash onscreen with their burned wings at the end is i'm EVOKING the image of cas' wings burning. even#though it doesn't happen. i'm evoking it
155 notes
¡
View notes
Text
It's a broken world, Michonne...
And
You're
The
Only
Thing
That
Puts
It
Back
Together
Till my last breath, I am yours ~ Rick Grimes to his wife, his compass, his light, his world, his everything, Michonne Grimes đđ¤
#the way rick & michonne met in a broken world and then made each other more whole than they've ever been before đ#i cherish richonne's journey and love story with everything in me#it was a great feeling to wake up today and realize i didn't just dream this - richonne really got a canon official proposal!#and of course it was gorgeous and moving and a perfect declaration of how deep their love goes#thank you again to Danai for knowing that Rick and Michonne are absolutely the type of characters who would do this đđ˝đ#richonne#twd towl#rick x michonne#rick grimes#michonne grimes#the ones who live#twd towl spoilers#not my gifs#danai gurira#andrew lincoln#reflecting on richonne#thoughts
200 notes
¡
View notes
Text
A bottle Miku for 2024. I used to draw her yearly for the challenge of it, I may be bringing back that yearly tradition.
#hatsune miku#miku hatsune#bottle miku#vocaloid#vocaart#vocal synth#I'm unsure if she should be singing more into the sand or not hmm#bottle miku is always fun because it makes me think about translucency and reflection#there are some really beautiful bottle miku illustrations out there if you've never heard of the design. I wish it made it into project div#my art#i can fanart
57 notes
¡
View notes
Text
fairest of the fair
#hi! im alive and back and etc.#six the musical#six the musical fanart#katherine howard#thinking of that post going 'i think eventually you become the person you needed most' and like maybe that's the thing with my art#this started out as a redraw and <improvement meme> i think i've finally reached the stage where i'm making the things that my younger self#aspired to create. like i can do this now! i've reached That level of technical skill! tiny me would be so proud. it's very gratifying#redraw from august this year actually. i've made a surprising amount of improvement HAHA maybe it was the adamandi stuff getting me#back into digital rendering. i think that obsession has quietly slipped away but yknow. one never truly leaves a fandom. just less intensit#also speaking of old fandoms! we're back with the six stuff haha. as of writing i'm in the midst of blog revamp- figuring out how to chill#multifandom status doesn't mean ditch all the old stuff ! but i do feel much freer and less stressed. i think hiatus has been good for me#notes on this piece particularly: redraw about cutting hair and thinking of the lyric above. also lowkey &j ref + pinterest poem excerpts#of female suffering. and maybe a dash of amanda heng let's walk inspo. this work is really just full of contradictions..#1. the mirror and cutting hair as an act of self liberation 2. the & is part of the lyric but also a nod to &j (in another iteration it was#pink but the white looked better) and like. &j is really all !!! girl power!!! etc. and i was like hmmmm. also matching pink shiny aes#3. the frame as a cage; the mirror as a self reflection idea (ie. saville's propped insp) but also as a sign of vanity. 4. sparkly costume#and pretty pose- read one too many poems about women feeling like they have to be pretty even in their suffering. something i wanted to#explore. and also in 5. the show itself... all you wanna do is. despite all the dancing and pink and sparkly the content of the song is#darker. and even though it's a story of her suffering it's still presented as a shiny fun pop song and ajshdhfhfh ok... 6. the lyrics fall#outside the frame. sort of a caught inbetween. sort of a trapped in the narrative and yet#within the frame it's all. vaguely handwavy breaking free vibes. like i said contradictions?#7. cutting off the long ponytail vs the pull my hair lyric at the end. yeah#8. the blocked off & looks a bit like scissors. positioned to cut right at the neck#anyways yeah irl remains hectic! but if i get around to more doodles they'll appear here :)
299 notes
¡
View notes
Note
hello!! hope you're having a good day :D
since you're doing the pride flag challenge, I hope you don't mind me requesting the lithromantic/sexual flag!
left is lithsexual and the right is lithromantic, idm which one you pick :]
(it means to feel romantic and/or sexual attraction to someone but doesn't want the feeling reciprocated or stops once it is :>)
Day 297 of posting Jevil every day
#pride palettes#lithromantic#I wanted to go with the Lithromantic palette because I thought the green and red was interesting and also because it feels familiar#five colors.. mostly black? this is the closest Iâve gotten to drawing Jevil in his actual color palette since weâve started this!#this whole June Pride event has been so exciting and it makes me really happy to see you all getting happy when you see yourself reflected#in a palette. But I do miss drawing regular Jevils!!!#I may get my chance though. Day 300 is coming up fast and itâs gonna be during June. do I do a regular Pride jevil or a special normal#palette Jev? I guess weâll see how Iâm feeling day of.#hmmm. hey if youâve read this far- want some Dailyjevil lore?#when I started dailyjevil.. Jevil wasnât even my favorite Deltarune character#It was Rouxls Kaard actually. Actually had a big crush on him- crazy right?? I donât get those often.#Anyways I started Dailyjevil on a whim in the middle of my 5th period English class. I noticed there wasnât a daily jevil art blog and#thought I could try it for a month or two. By the way- I had drawn Jevil like twice before this. Never couldâve seen it lasting this long!#Now I have around 300 Jevils in my camera roll. I didnât think it would last once my Deltarune fixation wore off.#Iâm probably gonna go in detail of it all later once this is all over in a big thank you post#Iâm starting to plan what Iâm gonna do for the final day#gah!!!!! I canât believe Iâve almost made it!!!!!#dailyjevil#deltarune#deltarune jevil#jevil#jevil deltarune
69 notes
¡
View notes
Text
saints moodboard đą đ´ đ¸ đ˝
go to pinterest and make yourself a mood board, whatever that means to you.
thank you beloved jen @quillkiller for the tag⌠this is so fun. i could look at everyoneâs for hours
no pressure tags: @fernhelm @carniferous @sixlane @itsjaywalkers @pupmotif @divinerapturee @rottin6 @freaklaboratorie @bloodbruise @jewishregulus
#things like this are so fun for meâŚ. iâm going to throw up#this was a useful exercise in self reflection. because the first moodboard i made contained 6 different pictures of shoes#and i really had to confront how much âwearing interesting shoesâ is a core pillar of my selfhood apparently#tag games
61 notes
¡
View notes
Note
Happy very belated birthday.. I hope you had much time celebrating by digging for tubers : )
I'M DIGGING FOR TUBERS! AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME!
#fanart#PIO!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! This is truly so so so delightful to look at.#The roundness...the delightful way you have drawn the ears and boots...#I would commit wildlife conservation crimes and pick this beast up in the wild. Consequences be damned that thing can dig for tubers.#(I have not made a tag for posts with my cowboy cat but I think I need to change that).#Now that I'm reading this whole post again I realize how much of it really sets the tone for my blog.#Does the art look funny? Yes. But I still show up to do it!#I can digging for tubers (make art and enjoy it)#Some people might be here enjoying my process ironically but I have to take myself seriously...much to think about.#I can also go admire my real tubers and give them words of affirmation while they hibernate.#Thank you for also giving me a moment to pause and reflect Pio. An incredible doubled pronged gift <3
222 notes
¡
View notes
Photo
A very normal scientist doing very normal gene splicing experiments (Patreon)
#Doodles#UT#Handplates#Gaster#Wobbledogs#Sometimes media flooding bleeds over into other interests at the same time and yes that is my only justification for this lol#I'm always most amused by the sequence of things lol - I'd already started in on Handplates again but then got very diverted by Wobbledogs#Which is especially weird to me because I was introduced to the game like half a year ago and it didn't really grab me#It's cute but eh it's fine - and then I watched a proper lightly edited playlist not like jumpcut-jumpcut-jumpcut#That can make for a very punchy one-off but it doesn't really reflect the gameplay loop#So actually getting to see it properly made the difference and I kinda Get It now and also kinda want to own the game lol#MeanWhile - Ghoster's been hanging out as my desktop buddy literally /while/ watching and I was getting new ideas on that front#They smushed together lol#Having him onscreen is just a good excuse to do a quick once-over style of study and follow some silly ideas haha#What would Gaster think of a progressive mutation type game ⪠Watching them grow watching them struggle to walk#Only uses the scold feature - or the worse option that he treats the dogs better than the skelebros noooo haha#Pretty much all of the creatures in Undertale are sentient to some degree aren't they :0 Wobbledogs are just dogs#They're not monsters but they're not humans but they're not exactly just dogs either - just little creachurs haha#It's fun to imagine him nurturing anyone or anything haha ⪠Goes from ''???'' to ''How can I help this reach their full potential''#Whatever ''potential'' means in his own context hehe#It's cute in its own way
831 notes
¡
View notes
Text
Iâm playing TGAA 1-4 case and I canât find the words to explain how i feel but this. THIS. this is just so so so good i-
this is just brilliant actually. Ryunosuke (and me by extension) just won our first trial in England. We got Mcgilded acquitted even though we knew deep down that it wasnât right. He betrayed our trust in him and we didnât have the evidence to prove that. That "not guilty" verdict felt so bad, i genuinely wanted to turn off the game bc of how unfair that was. We got a probably guilty guy technically free. What feels even worse is that if youâve played all the others AA games before, this is such an especially painful situation bc with Phoenix, Apollo, Athena and even Edgeworth every time you defend someone, they are innocent and you are right to trust them from the beginning, you never doubt for one second that the defendant might be the criminal (except for the matt engarde case). we implicitly trust everyone we defend, itâs a status quo if that makes sense.
Ryunosuke doesnât know what to believe in anymore, he doesnât know if he can be an attorney anymore. Heâs in a new country, he doesnât know anything about, in a new system he hasnât learned to trust and the first person he fights for turns out to be a manipulative as hell. How could he trust himself to defend anyone anymore ? what if theyâre like Mcgilded ?Ryunosuke lost that trust in himself to do the right thing and therefore lost the trust in others too. He canât trust that system, it is rigged especially to those in power, able to play with the rules, especially rich people like the Mcgilded.
So having Sholmes telling him this, reminding him of the words of Kazuma felt like a slap in the face, like a wake up call. You canât know for sure if someone is guilty or not, however you can choose to believe in someone and trust yourself to have made the right choice. Ultimately if youâre wrong, itâs like Sholmes said, "an elementary error of judgment" and anyone can make those, itâs only human.
And isnât that what relationships are all about? You trust your friends, family, lovers etc to love you and be there for you. That requires to trust yourself to trust them. Maybe people will betray you, maybe not, you canât know that, but you canât blame yourself for trusting someone, if they betray you it was a lapse of judgement and that can happen, you can only learn from that error and try to make better judgement next time with the other people you will meet.
#dgs#tgaa#rant#perhaps iâm just stating the obvious but this touched me so deeply i really resonated with ryunosuke there#Or perhaps iâm totally misreading things lol#nearly made me cry actually and reflect on so much things ?#like my relationship with my friends and the anxiety of feeling like a bother and how anyone could leave me at any moment#BUT !!!#I choose my friends so what i can do is trust myself to have made the right choice and trust them and if they leave/betray me then be it#so many thoughts i am so sorry
25 notes
¡
View notes
Text
I just hate when people say Dorian downgraded in this game because what some might see as getting old, is something truly special to me when it comes to his character. This is a young man who endured so much growing up, the same man whose father wanted to do blood magic on him and turn him into a vegetable rather than let him be his true self. This is also the man who flat out admits he expected to die during his time in the Inquisition to become a sort of martyr for his people, but managed to live anyway and took responsibility to return to his homeland and help make a difference. This is a man who, in one of the endings of Trespasser, survived an assassination attempt ( thanks Bull rip love u miss u ) and probably many more that followed. Seeing Dorian in this game hit so hard because it's like, despite how bad things were for him, he kept going, he lived on, he still continues to fight for what's right despite the odds being against him. Truly the definition of never kys because he has come so far and what a glow up. So yeah, say his hair is terrible or whatever, but I however adore his smile lines, that show how much he's aged. I enjoy his crows feet, because he wears them so well. Let characters get old, let them show it on their features. I love every part of what he is now and am happy to see him again after all these years.
#ooc.#tbd.#sorry had to sappy vent.#my comfort character after 10 years whatever.#it really made me reflect on remembering where i was all those years ago.#and it being like wow yeah. he aged and i did too but damn.#i love my little fictional mage.#sorry im done.
22 notes
¡
View notes