#it just scratches a very particular itch in my brain

[haventacluewhatimdoing]

Men in tweed suits kissing. That's it that's the post.

[lizardkingeliot]

whyyyy do i feel like i would be ~cheating~ on quentin and eliot if i decided i wanted to write fic for another pairing from another fandom... someone plsssss tell my brain to stop being so silly 💀

[scootkiddo]

craig mazin is really flexing his chernobyl background with these cold opens

[evil-mcytblrconfessions]

i just found out that rekrap is back on lifesteal bcs he uploaded that video!! omg im screaming!!!!!

.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

winnie & bagel

[beardedjoel]

Okay then #19 from the first prompt post with sugar daddy Joel (since you're cockblocking my other genius idea 🙄) and he better be OLD old how we like it 🫡

we both know how much we love our man sd joel (and we are not talking about your other idea)! but OLD old coming right up 🤪 absolutely love this prompt and this version of joel being such a good daddy. this was healing to write tbh

yes, here — sugar daddy!joel x f!reader

request: "when the teasing in the dressing room gets a little too hot". sent in as part of my 5k celebration!

wc: 3.9k

warnings: smut (fingering, piv), public sex, daddy kink, sugar daddy/sugar baby relationship but they're in love, large age gap (implied reader is much younger and joel is "pushing sixty"), reader is picked up by joel

“Do I really have to come out… there… and show you each one?” You’re nervous, feeling exposed, as you see your reflection in the lavish dressing room. A baby blue silk thong and bra set with the matching garter belt stare back at you. It’s hugging your curves in all the right places, you’ll admit. The quality of the fabric is evident as you slide your fingers over it, adjusting the bra to make your tits sit a little perkier, tilting your head as you inspect them.

Joel smirks from outside the door, thighs spread wide as he lounges back on an expensive, plush white couch. “Well, my money, my rules, I’d say,” he teases you. “So yes.”

It wasn’t like you had that much to be worried about - Joel had rented out the entire boutique just to sample new lingerie on you. It wasn’t the first time he’d purchased lingerie for you, or given you a stack of cash to do so on your own time, but it certainly was the first time you’d had to try it on like this in front of him in public. Well, semi-public, you suppose, counting the one boutique employee who was trying to keep a casual, respectful distance. You’re sure Joel was slipping her an obscene amount of money for her discretion.

You suppress the smile on your lips at Joel’s teasing. Fair enough. What daddy says, goes. You unlock the dressing room door, stepping out, your body language shy as his eyes adjust on you, drinking in the look with lustful eyes. His lips, seemingly turned up in a perpetual smirk today, grin even wider. You step across the small open area outside the dressing room, all plush, soft cream carpets and a sparkling chandelier above, to where Joel sits, smoothing out his perfectly tailored suit.

“It’s nice. I like this one,” he concludes cooly, his voice deep and rumbly, the sexiness of it scratching a very particular itch in your brain. “Turn,” he says, spinning his fingers to mimic the motion he wants from you. You sport a timid smile, starting to turn, flushing warm as soon as you realize your ass is on full display, only a flimsy piece of silk string wedged between your asscheeks for the entire store - albeit empty - to see.

Joel leans forward, his large hand enveloping your ass cheek as he gives it an appreciative squeeze, dropping it to let it bounce. “Show me the next one,” he says, patting the flesh once more to send you on your way back to the dressing room. “That lacy black one,” Joel clarifies once the door is shut behind you.

You stare inquisitively at the rack inside the dressing room. It’s full of suggestions, pre-picked by the staff for you based on Joel’s instructions of what he was looking for. You scan the hangers until you find the one he’d requested, slipping it on. It’s a skimpy sheer black set with an embroidered trim of deep red flowers, sexier in its own right then the last one.

Joel’s positive reaction to this set is similar, his hands placed on your hips, rubbing his thumbs along your skin as you stand between his spread legs for inspection. “Very sexy. But I think I’m wantin’ to see you in somethin’ a little more… cute.”

You bat your lashes at him. “Cute? Which one, daddy?” you coo, watching his eyes darken as you shift your stance, popping your hips to accentuate your curves and bend your chest closer to Joel’s face. His eyes flick to your tits, curving deliciously out of the enticing design of the bra, the sheer material surely giving him a clear view of your nipples as they stiffen.

A tiny chuckle is pulled from his throat, his eyes back on yours. He blatantly ignores your teasing, although you can see the effect it’s already having on him, his cheeks tinged with color as his excitement grows. “Thought there was a pink one in there somewhere. Fuzzy, too,” he says, arching an eyebrow as if to say, go on then.

“Yes, daddy,” you say sweetly, obeying him to sort through the rack in the dressing room again. You see exactly the one Joel was asking to see next, standing out from the others by the sheer volume of it in comparison to some of the skimpy pieces. A flowy light pink set made up of a babydoll top opened in the front, sheer all over and lined with a soft, fuzzy trim. It’s luxurious and a little more showy than you’re used to, giving off the ultimate rich man’s housewife vibe in its tasteful extravagance. 

“You’re sure about this one? It’s… a lot…” you ask from behind the door as you slip on the pieces, tying the soft fabric of the bra into a neat bow in the center of your chest like a present to be opened by Joel. You wonder if you should even question him - it’s Joel’s money and Joel’s wishes, but you can’t help but feel this one is a little much. You surely don’t have what it takes to pull off the look of a rich housewife like he’s expecting. The other lingerie felt it suited better how you viewed yourself - a sugar baby, a fun thing for Joel to play with and throw his money at.

Joel senses the hesitation in your voice and feels the shift in the air. “I want to see it,” he reassures you, stern in his tone.

You crack open the door, stepping out into the warm white light of the chandelier once again. Joel’s eyes drag up slowly from your feet to your face, taking everything in with a ravenous sparkle in his gaze. “What’s all this? Why’re you hidin’ over there?” Joel asks when you refrain from stepping closer.

“N-nothing, daddy,” you stammer out, quickly closing the gap as if that will avoid further suspicion. His eyes narrow, and you get the feeling that like many times before, Joel is easily reading right through you. 

“You don’t think I look… ridiculous in this?” you finally manage to ask at his silent prompting. The truth is, you love the set. You think it’s gorgeous - fun but with plenty of class, pretty but for all the embellishments it still holds its elegance. You just have some strange fear prickling in your belly all of a sudden that one day Joel might wake up and realize you’re not enough for him. Not experienced enough, not worldly enough, not well versed in finances or business or any of the things that take up so much of his time. Somehow that’s all being projected onto a damn lingerie set today.

Joel cocks his head, the creases between his brows deepening. It’s so unlike you to show this lack of confidence around him. Typically, Joel makes you feel on top of the world - special - and you have no problem being the sweet, alluring woman he knows you to be. You don’t know what’s gotten into you today or why you suddenly worry you don’t fit into his life somehow.

“Ridiculous?” Joel scoffs, leaning forward. His hand grabs yours, holding it gently but with a certain authority that makes you crumble every time. “Now why the hell would you say somethin’ like that?”

You avert your eyes down to the carpet, watching your toes wiggle nervously. “I don’t know,” you mutter, finding your decision to bring this up rather regrettable now that you’re faced with it. Joel tugs your hand, forcing you as close as you can get, your shins hitting the edge of the couch, Joel’s legs on either side of you.

“Tell me, sweetheart, or I’ll bend you over my knee an’ make you,” Joel drawls, keeping his cool despite the threatening nature of his words. Tears prick at your eyes, making you even more frustrated at yourself.

“Daddy…” you whine, eyes wide. “Here?”

“I ain’t above doin’ whatever, wherever to remind you of the rules.” Joel’s grip on your hips is hasty but controlled as he moves your body, pulling you down to straddle him. His exacting gaze locks onto yours as he bunches up the sheer fabric hanging down over your ass, then brings a gentler hand than you’d expected to your flesh, giving it a light smack. You pull your lip between your teeth, biting down softly as Joel does it again, cocking a brow at your continuing silence. You both know that even through the discomfort, the threat of his actions, it turns both of you on, and you can feel your core start to pulse with need in the background of the self doubt you’re feeling.

“I ain’t afraid to go harder,” he growls. 

Your eyes well up when he smacks again, harsher this time, enough to leave a bit of a mark, and you finally find yourself breaking down. “I look like I’m trying to be someone I’m not, okay?” you blurt out, sniffling.

“An’ who’s that you’re tryin’ to be, hm?” Joel asks, calm and curious, his free hand carefully grasping your chin between his thumb and forefinger, keeping you from tilting your head away from his probing stare.

“S-someone who belongs in your world. Aren’t you just going to get sick of me one day? Realize you want someone that people won’t look at like they do me? Someone… sensible.”

“You got all this from a piece of lingerie, princess?” Joel asks, rubbing your ass in lazy circles. He sighs, softening. “I’m not doin’ enough t’make you feel special, I know that. I’ve been busy lately.”

You had to admit you’d noticed, and maybe it seeped into your subconscious, eating away at you that all of this was too good to be true. You’d only been in this arrangement with Joel for six months but it had been heavenly, everything you’d been looking for. You didn’t care that he was pushing sixty, that you two looked like the walking embodiment of what judgemental people imagined a sugar daddy and his baby to look like. You admired Joel for who he was, and had before he’d even brought up how badly he wanted to spoil you. The best part was how much he cared about you above all else, above the money, always doting on you and wanting to guide you, protect you.

“I know, daddy,” you say, frowning sympathetically. “It’s okay, it’s not that. I just… want to make sure that you still want this. That I can be everything you want.”

Joel tsks. “Oh, sweetheart, you already are. That hasn’t changed for me one bit. Look at what I got sittin’ right in my lap. Funny, sweet, carin’, and -” He leans in, wrapping his hand around your cheek, kissing you deeply. “So damn sexy in the lingerie I picked out for her.”

You can’t help but giggle at his teasing compliment, hearing the sincerity in his voice. A weight lifts off of your shoulders, realizing you’d been acting foolish, letting your negative thoughts outweigh any sense of rationality. All of the lonely evenings of late when Joel remained at work, leaving you in his spacious penthouse downtown to come home to, or the mornings when he had to rush out the door, had gotten to you more than you’d realized. You understood it was temporary while he oversaw an important project at his firm, and he’d never stopped trying to carve out as much time as possible for you when he could. You smile, finding peace washing over you once again, raking your fingers through his greying beard.

“Daddy…” you coo, giving him a sultry giggle. “You think so?” you ask innocently, peering down at your outfit.

“Mhm,” he mumbles. “Y’know why this one is my favorite? Why I picked it out special?” You shake your head, feeling it start to swim with desire as Joel’s quickly growing bulge presses against you. His hand slips down your body, right between your legs, and you gasp when his fingers touch bare skin, a teasing touch right to where you’re already slick for him. 

“Nothin’ in my way,” he says, grinning darkly. You suppose you’d been too lost in thought in the dressing room to properly register the purposeful hole in the panties when you’d put them on, but now it was all you could think about as Joel’s fingers work their magic. Easily sliding one digit in, he quickly adds a second one, moving them in a steady rhythm. 

Joel watches with pride as your eyes start to glaze over, your needy, bitten lip begging him for more. He leans in for a ravenous kiss with small bites to that enticing bottom lip, listening to the gasping little moans caught in your throat. 

“You’re naughty, daddy,” you say with a breathless giggle against his lips.

“Mhm,” he murmurs back, kissing you again until the heat grows so unbearable between the two of you that you find your hips slowly grinding against him, seeking relief. “Can you blame me for wantin’ easy access to somethin’ this sweet?” he asks you, bringing his shining fingers to his lips, coated with your arousal, sucking on them.

“You always have it, daddy. Even when I’m not wearing this,” you purr, feeling yourself drip as you watch him lick his fingers clean, rolling your hips over his once again. You hum contentedly as warmth flickers in your core at the friction, especially with the gusset of your panties being well, nonexistent and allowing for your clit to rub on the dark fabric of Joel’s suit pants.

He chuckles, amused, and nods. “That’s right, isn’t it?” he agrees, his eyes growing more serious as he reaches down, unbuckling his belt and unzipping his fly. “An’ despite all this, how I can’t get enough of you, you still thought I’d get bored of you? Bored?” He says the words like he’s lamenting, incredulous that you could see anything other than what he does: the woman that he’s completely infatuated with, the one who plagues his waking and dreaming thoughts alike, the one who he considers it an honor to come home to, laying in wait every night for his cock or his hands or to hear what’s on his mind.

You stammer, seeing that Joel feels hurt you could ever feel less than in his presence. He pulls his cock free, the familiar warmth of it irresistible against your body, but you glance around, seeming to remember yourself, where you are.

“Yes, here,” Joel says sternly before you can even ask the question, seeing your adorable, nervous expression like this is the first time you two have done something unsavory in public. You always act innocent about it though, and Joel eats it right up every damn time, letting it harden his cock as he starts to slide it into your tight, needy hole.

You gasp, eyes going wide as you bask in that sweet spot along the border of pain and pleasure. Joel’s size always takes some getting used to. No matter how ready you are, how many times he’s fucked you, it’s the same stretch and impossibly full feeling as your body adjusts.

“How could I be bored, hm, my darling girl? You think daddy is bored of this?” he asks, threading his fingers into your hair at the back of your head. You give him a weak shake of your head, eyes fluttering when he starts to move his hips, pressing his cock deep inside of you. 

“N-no, no I don’t daddy.”

“Attagirl,” Joel responds proudly, bringing his lips to yours. Your hips collide with his as you meet for greedy kisses, rolling them to meet each thrust upwards of his with soft moans into his mouth. A sound, presumably the front door of the shop in the distance, clanging hard against itself as someone tries to open it when it’s locked, rings out throughout the otherwise quiet store. You realize you haven’t even seen the single employee loitering around anymore, off somewhere to give the two of you some privacy. 

“D-daddy -” you gasp out as he ups the pace, forcing you along for the ride. “Th-the door - maybe we should -”

His eyes, darkened and lustful, dance as his lips turn up in a smirk. He shakes his head, leaning down to bite your bottom lip, pulling it hard. You moan, your mind a quickly muddled mess, your heart racing. 

“C’mon then, if you’re worried about privacy,” he grunts out teasingly, grasping at each side of your ass with his large hands, starting to lift you up, cock still buried deep inside of you as he carries you across to the dressing room. You crash your lips into his again, hungrily taking, the two of you lost in your own world as he slams you up against the wall. Your legs hook tightly around Joel’s body, keeping him pressed deep every time he drives his hips forward. In here, you feel like you can be louder, knowing it’s a ridiculous concept, but the moans that Joel pulls from your throat would have escaped no matter what at the angle he’s hitting inside of you. 

You whimper when you feel yourself getting close, your core tightening as your entire being sits on the edge of pleasure. You start to moan louder, until you’re sure it can’t be contained anymore, circumstances be damned.

“Play with yourself,” Joel grits out, and you quickly unlatch one arm from around his neck, putting a finger to your swollen, aching clit. “Let me feel my baby squeeze daddy’s cock so tight.”

You cry out, nodding fervently as you try to hang onto Joel’s shoulder while rubbing circles on your clit. You can feel the both of you slick with sweat, your bodies pressed impossibly close, his heat surrounding you feeling like home. You can feel both of your bodies trembling with the exertion of this position, but neither one of you wants to stop now, not when you’re both so close. He brings his face to the crook of your neck, pushing all the fluff from the trim further down your shoulder before he bites and sucks on the skin, sending pleasure bursting through you. 

“I’m gonna come daddy, I’m gonna come!” you scream out in pure ecstasy as it sweeps you away, your body tightly held against Joel’s as you lose yourself to it, your head tilting back to lean against the wall. 

“That’s my girl. That’s it, cream on daddy’s cock like a good girl,” he grunts. “F-fuck.” Joel’s thrusts turn more erratic and choppy, the grunting right in your ear one of the sexiest sounds you’ve ever heard in your life. You can’t believe you had worried for even a second about Joel’s feelings towards you when he’s just as lost as you are in this, stringing praises for you under his breath.

“You want me to fill you up, princess? Let it drip right out of your pretty new set? Show everyone who’s mine?”

Breathless as your pussy clenches around him from his words alone, you nod for him. “Y-yes daddy, please. Fill me up.” 

He groans loudly as he slams his hips into yours one last time, spilling himself into you. Heady ecstasy fills your mind with the loveliest haze as you feel Joel come undone inside of you, showing his devotion in the most physical form. 

“God damn. You’re perfect.” he pants out, placing soft kisses everywhere his lips can find in the moment - your neck, slowly working up to your jaw, your cheek, your forehead. He still hasn’t let you go, pulled himself out of the mess you’ve both made of your cunt, wanting to sit in this moment a little longer.

Joel finally settles your limp body on the luxurious bench in the dressing room, leaning down to kiss the top of your head, his arms slowly releasing from around you. He stands up tall, tucking himself away and adjusting his suit jacket before tipping your chin, staring into your heavy lidded eyes.

“You know I’d do anythin’ f’you, darling girl. Give you the entire world if I could.”

“I know, daddy.” You give him an exhausted smile, leaning back against the wall. You grab at your clothing, neatly folded on the bench beside you, moving to start stripping off the lingerie and dressing back up. Joel grasps your hand, shaking his head. 

“I got you, sweetheart,” he says softly, pulling you to stand, letting you put your tired weight on him as he slips the sheer, fuzzy teddy and panties off, leaving you naked. His eyes land between your legs, where his spend leaks down your thighs, and he kisses you softly, letting his hands roam in gentle patterns down your back. You melt into him, sighing. “Let’s get you dressed an’ get some lunch in you,” he whispers against your lips.

“You don’t have to go back to work?” you ask hopefully as Joel starts putting on your underwear for you. He had set this shopping excursion up first thing in the morning, presumably so he could use the rest of the day to manage things at the office and come home to you wearing the new lingerie later on.

Joel’s head shakes, having you step into your skirt before fitting it snugly on your hips. “No, baby. I want to make sure I’m givin’ you my full attention today like you deserve.”

He watches you light up as he pulls your blouse over your head, starting to tidy your outfit up and adjust everything to have you looking polished again. Warmth fills your entire body at his careful, gentle tending to you after how roughly intimate you two had been. You kiss his cheek softly, moving to his lips, feeling his hands tighten around you as he presses you closer to him.

“I’d really like that, daddy,” you say against his lips, leaving him growling softly at the especially sweet lilt you’d used on his title, knowing the effect it would have on him. He surges forward, capturing your lips more ravenously and sliding a hand to your ass to press your hips to his already growing erection. Seeming to remember his duty to care for you above getting his dick wet another time, he pulls back, interlacing his fingers with yours and taking a long, steadying breath.

“Lunch,” he says decidedly. “Then wherever my darlin’ girl wants to go.”

As you two detangle from each other, you catch sight of the pink, fuzzy set, laying on the ground and filthy with the mess you’d both made of it. Joel smirks, his brows raised in amusement as he takes your hand, leading you to the sleek counter near the front to check out. The woman gives you both a practiced smile, slightly strained but still professional despite everything she’d been witness to this morning. 

Joel turns to you, pulling out his wallet, thumbing through the bundle of cash inside. He’d have to remember to compensate the boutique worker extra to express his gratitude for her patience and above all else, her continued discretion.

“What d’you say, sweetheart? We take all of it?” he asks you.

Your eyes go wide at the unexpected suggestion, unable to tear your gaze off of his handsome features. You thread your arm through his, pressing yourself close to show your appreciation for everything today - beyond the pretty new things he was buying you, he’d reminded you of the confidence and safety that you had with him, the deep bond you two shared that was unlike anything either of you had experienced before.

You can’t help but beam when you answer Joel’s question. “Yes, daddy. Especially that pink one.”

lingerie that inspired reader's look:

[theurgists]

⋆｡‧₊°♱༺ THE WAY WE USED TO ༻♱༉‧₊˚.

ellie williams x fem!reader

summary: after ending things on a sour note with ellie before seattle, the both of you haven't spoken since her return, and a less-than-unexpected relationship with dina . she manages to slip away once again, this time leaving you with nothing but the memory of her. third time's a charm, right?

warnings: post-santa barbara, angst, talk of trauma, the usual deep dives when it comes to tlou2, not proof-read

a/n: kinda missed writing for ellie lowkey, my baby deserves the entire world and much more. another part is for sure in the works, maybe even two?? also my asks are open ;) i'd be very grateful if you guys would send some stuff! enjoy around 5k words of angst <3

There was once a time when the feeling of contentedness devoured you whole — swallowing you pleasantly. Its teeth were sharp, jaw wide — unhinged as it grabbed you with flexing, greedy fingers, tossing you into the warmness of vulnerability. Once you were in, the euphoric feeling would start at the tips of your toes, expanding throughout your body slowly.

You could remember how it would scratch a particular itch in your brain, soothing every worry lingering in your dreary mind's dark corners. In truth, it was a way to escape the endless violence, to relieve the throbbing pressure that had your heart aching within the confines of your chest, behind brittle human bones that were supposed to protect you from harm — but it did nothing to stop her from leaving. You had etched it into the stubborn tissue that took refuge within your skull even if you went down on your hands and knees, she just didn’t find it in her heart to be with you.

Those walls you had spent your entire existence fortifying with your blood, sweat, and tears had all been for nothing. Absolutely nothing.

 You had foolishly taken the monster of aliveness for granted, and he had taken his sweet time crushing you, breaking your fragile bones within seconds.

He had won. 

With the unforeseen defeat, you found yourself wanting to expel her from your mind. Her musky, wood-burned scent, the crinkle of her nose, the light rose blush that would decorate the apples of her cheeks, and the wringing of her hands when faced with uncomfortable situations. 

Those little things were what you’d remember; nights when the rare sight of dewed grass would tickle your nose hairs. Jeans damp from the small droplets of rain resting atop blades of deep green seas, wet hands snaking through soggy soil to entwine with hers in secrecy. Those were moments when love had made itself known within you, albeit a foreign feeling you embraced with mass hesitance. 

Foolish girl — you were merely a child. A child who selfishly put herself aside to care for another when she could barely care for herself. 

You see, that was the issue with you. You never knew when enough was enough.

Maybe that’s why she had given little to no thought about ever uttering a single word to you in almost three years.

With your jaw clenched, you ground your teeth together, tightening your grip on the pen as you pressed down on the tattered, yellowing piece of paper with arising anger. You were struggling. 

Your lack of presence in the outside world and limited interaction with others could attest to that. It wasn’t as if it was your intention. Human interaction seemed to drain you lately, and so you found yourself hunched over the wooden pine desk located near a window to the right of your bedroom, a withering chair accompanying the depressing set-up. Glancing upward, you rapidly blinked, lashes fluttering against the deep bags under your eyes as you reached your hand toward your face. 

There was a dull throb behind your lids as you rubbed your palms against them, ridding your eyes of any trace of lingering tiredness as you opened them soon after, pupils adjusting to the rays of clouded sunlight bleeding through the thin material of the curtains.

With a deep sigh, you curled your fingers around the leather cover of your journal, the digits on your other hand snatching the nearly broken pen away from its place wedged between smeared ink. Slamming it shut, you slid it aside, biting the inside of your cheek as a means to snap yourself out of the deep hole taking refuge in the foreground of your mind. 

It was an endless abyss of numbness, laying awake at night with the sheets tucked around your waist, eyes focused on the darkness of the ceiling as you tried to suppress the sudden blur that tried to overtake your vision. There was a certain sadness lingering within you, and it spread as if it were sugar water injected into your veins.

Scratching the back of your right ear, you lifted yourself from your hunched position, back aching from the time spent madly scribbling your scattered thoughts onto an ancient sheet of paper.

You’d have to stop obsessing over it eventually. This wasn’t a healthy way of thinking about things.

Pursing your lips, your bare feet padded against the maple hardwood of the floor, guiding you into the tight kitchen space occupying the small one-story home that you called your own. Shivering at the sudden rush of cold air that seeped through your pores, you pulled on the fridge door, spotting a glass jar half full of milk. Maria had given it to you just three days prior, hoping to coax you out of the house and over to the Tipsy Bison for a drink.

You had adamantly refused, telling her that you knew those weren’t her exact intentions with you, and by the look that she threw in your direction from the doorway, you were right.

She was a gentle-hearted woman with a tough exterior and a shielded heart. And although it was something she wouldn’t part her lips to say aloud, you reminded her of herself back when she was navigating through looming death and betrayal peeking behind every corner. It bared its teeth as if it were the predator, and you were the prey; open and unaware. 

Placing your lips against the cool rim, you leaned your head back, gulping the rush of liquid, focusing on the way it glided down your throat and into your stomach, satisfying your thirst and easing a quarter of your heart all in one. 

Darting your eyes around the area, you settled on the scenery through the single window, paying close attention to the individual bright greens of leaves that swayed in the light wind, the sun low on the horizon, a mix of blues and light orange hues painting the sky in watercolors.

Ripping your eyes away from the tempting scenery, you took in a breath of stale air, enveloping yourself in the comfort of the surrounding silence as you frowned deeply to yourself, index finger tracing the rim of the glass. Setting the short cup in the sink, you lifted your head once more, outstretching your arms to grab at the edges of the counter as you leaned forward.

Narrowing your eyes, the rusty gears in your head worked on overdrive to make out the figure walking past your window — shadow visible to you thanks to the angle of the lowering sun. 

Your worrisome face formed even more creases if possible, contorting your face in such a pained way that it felt as if you were stabbed in the side, right between the ribs. Gulping the maturing lump in your throat, you slowly made your way to the chipped wood of the front door, standing a mere four feet from it. 

With three quick knocks sounding from the other side followed by a clearing throat, you nearly deflated at the muffled voice on the other side of the door. It was tired, low, and gruff, struggling. 

“Hey kiddo, I know you’re in there. I saw you from the window.”

Rolling your eyes as far back as they could go, you cocked your head to the side, puffing out your cheeks before blowing out a dramatic breath. The coolness of the metal knob against the clammy heat oozing from your palm soothed you for only a moment as you twisted your wrist — coming face-to-face with the short-haired man. 

His locks were glossy, shining in natural oils, giving him a temporary unappealing look that paired well with the rest of his appearance. Crossing your arms over your chest, you unashamedly lowered your gaze to his disheveled clothing, noticing just how wrinkled his plaid button-up shirt was — the first three undone as if he had looped the rest of them through holes in a rush. 

“You look like shit.” 

Clicking his tongue on the roof of his mouth, he balanced most of his weight on his right leg, “Well hello to you, too.”

 Pulling the skin of his lips back, he grimaced from the slight pain that jolted through his left. 

Furrowing your brows in concern, your legs automatically moved to his side, lifting his arm and gently placing it over your shoulder, helping him hobble inside, away from the buzzing flies in the warm, summer air. 

“You need to take it easy, Tommy.” You mumbled, slowly guiding him to the kitchen and plopping him down onto one of the creaky wooden chairs backed up against the scuffed white of the walls. 

Waving one of his calloused hands, he waved you off, muttering something under his breath before he sighed loudly, scanning his one eye around your messy space. “Now don’t get your head all twisted. I ain’t nothing worth worrying about.” 

Frowning, you pulled out the other chair from its place tucked near the small, circular table and slowly eased yourself down, leaning back, crossing one denim-clad leg over the other.

 “Says you. Someone needs to keep an eye on you, old man. Especially now, since you like to perform your little disappearing acts once and a while.” 

You watched as he parted his lips to speak, pressing them thinly right after, scoffing in slight annoyance. “You stalking me or somethin’?” 

The corners of your lips curled, a lop-sided smile sneaking its way to your mouth. “I have better things to do with my time —”

“— Sure don’t look like it.”

“ — Okay, anyways. No, I don’t stalk you. You’re a grown man with grays and a gait. I doubt you can get very far.” 

Cocking his head back in faux hurt, he put a shaking hand over his heart. “You’ve been underestimating my abilities to move despite my age. This conversation is a prime example.”

Rolling your eyes for the second time, you lowered your head, pinching the bridge of your nose. “Did you just come here to insult me, or was there something you needed?”

Any traces of playfulness twinkling in his dead eyes diminished as he sat there, searching through the mess in his brain for the correct words to say to you. Your kindness was something he was less than deserving of, and it was something he was very aware of as he stared at your hunched frame, defeated and small. 

“I - I know anything else I say to you won’t make it easier —” he started, coming to a halt at your startling interruption. 

“ — I don’t need you to start mindlessly talking to me about it.” You spat, glancing up at him through your lashes, head still aimed toward the floor, eyes following the patterns of the grimy tile. “I already told you that I was still beyond pissed.” 

Furrowing your brows, the flood of frustration boiled over, as if it were a pot of water on high heat. “How ignorant are you? To send someone on your fucking revenge mission because you had no way of doing it yourself. I can’t forgive you for doing that to her.”

Nodding his head, he outstretched his bad leg, wincing as he did so, the heel of his boot connecting with the floor with a ‘thud’. His curt nod wasn’t in understanding, it was in regret of not finishing the job sooner, back when he had the capabilities to do so.

It was a laughable situation considering the severity of it. He‘s lost his eye, his ability to walk normally, the warmness of his heart, his brother, and his sanity — but still consumed with a fury so deep, that it permanently rattled his soul. 

Without a second thought, he spoke again, tapping the pads of his dirt-covered hands onto the grass-stained denim of his jeans. “Now, hold on a minute. I’m not asking for your forgiveness. I’m just asking ya to understand.’

“There’s nothing else to understand, Tommy. She’s not coming back. No matter how many times you sneak out of Jackson and pray to whatever the fuck you believe in that things would’ve ended on your terms.” 

Scrunching your nose, you turned your head to the side, not wanting him to see the tears threatening to spill onto your heated cheeks.

 “She’s not fucking coming back here. I appreciate your constant reassurance throughout these past couple of months but it’s not doing anything for me.”

Rubbing your wet hands on the rough texture of your jeans, you lifted yourself from your position, wiping furiously at your puffy lids with the back of your hand. “I think we’re done here. You should go.”

Giving him no time to respond, you quickly scurried over to the door, pulling it open to let in a rush of warm air that did little to decrease the number of goosebumps dotted on your skin. Despite the blurriness of your vision, you eyed him cautiously as he struggled to lift himself, slowly limping over and out to the creaky, dented wood of the porch. 

“There’s a bonfire tonight… I know the time isn’t right but you’ve been cooped up inside here for a month. Everybody wants to see you there.” 

Lifting a hand, you circled the pad of your thumb around the shape of your lips — a habit to distract yourself from thinking about her. 

God, think about anything else but her. Please.

“Uh - I don’t know.” Without waiting for a reply, you shut the door right in his face, the frame rattling from the force, an echo from the sound the only thing keeping you company.

But as it faded to silence, you were back with your thoughts, left to wallow in self-pity. 

You were alone. 

And that’s how it was always going to be.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Flickers of orange ember lifted upward - curling themselves around lingering smoke. It easily dispersed in the thick surrounding air, transforming into nothing as you blinked, vision blurred from the harsh burn of the blackening, ashed wood that sat upon muggy soil. 

Droplets of water from earlier rainfall reflected in the sun, perfectly placed on vibrant green tree leaves.

 The scent of wet grass and damp earth made you sniff lightly. Your nose scrunched, left hand moving near your nostrils to wipe at it with the elongated sleeve of your thin sweater. 

With the flesh of your lips pulling back, a pained expression crossed over the muscles in your face, the rough material stinging the skin right under your nose - above your upper lip. 

You weren’t crying. 

That was something you had tried to convince yourself for the thousandth time in the past half hour as you stared ahead at the flames of the small fire that had been started just an hour ago.

There was already a small pile of ashes, just about an inch or so, being carried by a gentle breeze that would occasionally appear.

Secretly, you were thankful for the gust of wind seeping through the small holes embedded in your shirt and slowly easing its way to your skin, chilling the heat oozing off every crevice of your being. Gripping the tiny, tin cup in your left hand, your fingers bent around the handle - almost unnaturally as the blood drained from your knuckles, leaving them sore.

After a long debate with yourself in the foreground of your mind, you had taken Tommy up on his offer for some fresh air. The decision wasn’t as hard as you were making it out to be despite wanting nothing more than to crawl back under the comfort of your sheets. You needed this. You needed to get out of your house and socialize with people who were - hopefully - still your friends albeit the large lack of communication.

It wasn’t as if you were expecting them to understand - it was quite the opposite. You weren’t in the position to assume that they’d be able to take the time and make sure that you were okay, despite the amount of grief you were going through. The sadness, the sudden anger, a dimming spark within you. It was all something that you had to deal with yourself.

Although you kept yourself hidden behind cracking walls and a dust-collecting shell of space, it was obvious.

You were an open book. You fucking hated it.

Out of all the things you could dislike and disregard about yourself - about who you are as an individual forced to kill — one single thing always stuck — the small amount of hope that fluttered in your chest cavity. 

It was strong, and that kept you up at night, back pressed against your springy mattress, eyes wandering around the cracked foundation of the ceiling, finding something  —  anything that would slowly ease away the lingering numbness within you.

“Hey, you okay there?” Blinking rapidly, you cocked your head to the right, coming face to face with Dina whose face had morphed into one of concern.

Her left arm was wrapped around JJ’s midsection, the leg she propped him on bouncing up and down to eliminate his sudden fuss. Quirking your lips at the corners, you smiled lopsidedly, pressing them into a thin line after a small nod. 

“Yeah… just thinking.” 

The look she gave you was enough to have your left arm raised, uneven fingernails hovering over the nape of your neck as you divert your gaze to a tiny pebble under the sole of your right shoe.

You leaned to one side as she playfully bumped her shoulder with yours, cooing at her son as soon as he started to mindlessly babble to himself. 

“Thinkin’ about what?” Her lips were pulled back, pearly whites on display as she darted her eyes around the area.

You lifted your shoulders, dropping them a couple of seconds after in a shrug, eyes still glued to the pebble near your foot as if it was somehow going to come to life and walk away from you. 

Clearing the non-existent lump in your throat, you shook your head from side to side, gliding your thumb across your nose, sniffling lightly. “I don’t think you’d wanna know. You seem pretty happy right now.”

Awaiting a response, JJ’s babbles filled the tension-filled silence, the crackle of the small fire accompanying his rants as well as the muffled conversations taking place around you. Her brows furrowed, her bottom lip being tugged between her teeth as she swallowed thickly. She understood what you meant. How could she not? She knew you still love Ellie in the same way she does.

Nothing could change that.  As strong and resilient as Ellie was — always a fighter — she wasn’t immortal. It was a realization that had smacked you across the face as soon as Dina had come back in shambles, expressing how Ellie’s need for revenge took away the last bit of sanity she had left.

 At first, she’d lay awake at night with JJ sleeping soundly beside her, making sure to keep a spot on the bed big enough just in case Ellie somehow managed to find her way back home. So she’d have the touch of something familiar against her skin, and breathe in the scent of clean linen and soft pillows.

She was struggling.

With pressure building behind her eyes, Dina bit the inside of her cheek, not quite knowing what to do with the constant thoughts buzzing in her frontal lobe, swarming like bees in a hive as she stared at the side of your face, eyes twinkling with empathy. She knew you had some sort of hope that Ellie was out there, she did too.

“Y’know…” She trailed off, mouth opening and closing as she searched for the right words. “I used to think it was the end of the world - not having her here I mean. I got so used to a routine with her that I thought she made peace with letting her go.”

Momentarily closing your eyes, you took a sip of whatever was in your cup to soothe the dryness in your throat, a frown forming on your lips soon after, a small breeze causing you to breathe shakily. 

You remembered your earlier conversations with Tommy a couple of months after he returned from Seattle. He had told you that Ellie and Dina had up and left Jackson to go live on some farm a good bit away. This honestly came as a surprise to you because it seemed somewhat out of character for her, but then again, you never really know someone when you think you do.

He had told you all about his journey to Seattle; who and what he encountered. It was odd. A once well-composed, calm, and talkative man lost himself after the loss of his older sibling, his appearance was forever altered as well as his mindset.

Feeling your heart sink at the thought, you focused on the warmth of the fire hitting your face, smoke billowing from the orange flickers as the moon took over the sky, slowly replacing the sun. 

“She’s stubborn. You should know that. When Ellie starts something, she finishes it, no matter how stupid it is.” Rolling your eyes to no one in particular, you looked down at JJ whose small head was buried into his mother's side, lashes fluttering as he struggled to keep his eyes open.

Dina snorted. “God, I hate that you’re right.”

“She loved Joel a lot, y’know. I’m guessing whatever the fuck Tommy said  that day got to her.”

Dina furrowed her brows, adjusting JJ so that he was in a more comfortable position, the side of her face glowing a gentle red. “It was fucking ridiculous. You should’ve seen the look on her face. She wasn’t doing well initially, but he made it harder for her. ”

“Tommy didn’t tell me exactly what he said. Only that he regretted it badly after and that you told him off for it. Rightfully so.” Puffing out your cheeks in a breath you scanned your eyes around the area, zeroing in on a group of children happily eating sandwiches, bent over close to the dirt, pointing out small insects burrowing beneath the still damp soil.

Hearing Dina sigh, you watched from her peripheral as she lifted herself from the thick log, careful not to disturb JJ’s deep slumber as he stuck his tongue out of his mouth.

“I think I’m gonna call it a night. Should take advantage of the fact that he’s sleeping.” She chuckled lightly, moving her mouth at an odd angle to blow a strand of dark hair away from her eyes.

Giving her a tight-lipped smile, you nodded curtly, watching as she distanced herself from you and went over to a group of older folks to say goodbye to. Turning your attention back down to your cup, you sloshed it from side to side, ready to zone out once more until you felt the presence of someone behind you. 

“Are you gonna keep standing behind me like some sort of creep or…?.”

Jumping slightly as his hand landed harshly on your left shoulder, you rubbed you set your cup down next to you, rubbing your arm in slight discomfort. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare ya. Glad you came despite uh, you know....”

“I didn’t come because you wanted me to.” 

Sighing loudly, Tommy cocked his head toward the sky, inhaling largely before exhaling, getting himself lightheaded in the process. “I know. I guess that was my way of … apologizin’.”

Raising your eyebrows in surprise, the expression disappeared as quickly as it had come. “Oh wow. Did you fall and hit your head on the way over here or something cause I could’ve just sworn you said sor-” 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Waving a hand in your direction, he rolled his eyes, chuckling under his breath when your laughter reached his ears. Although he would never admit it aloud, it was a nice thing to hear.

“I accept your lame attempt at an apology.” You stated playfully, clapping your hands together and entwining your fingers with one another. 

“Good.” He sighed, clearing his throat afterward to get rid of the sudden awkwardness that took over. 

“Have you talked to Maria yet?” 

“She wouldn’t wanna talk to me even if I tried, kid.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do too. She said so herself.”

Clicking your tongue on the roof of your mouth you gave him the most intense side eye you could muster, sucking in cool air through clenched teeth. “Wouldn’t hurt to try.”

“It would.”

Rising from your position, you dusted your palms off on your jeans, looking back at him as the wind whipped through his untamed hair, making small tendrils stick in different directions. “You motivate me to stop sitting on my ass so I'm telling you to get up off of yours now. Seriously, Tommy, you’re miserable.”

He chuckled dryly, slapping his right hand on his thigh as if you told him the funniest thing in the world. The loud slap echoed enough to have a couple of people snap their heads in your direction to see what exactly warranted a reaction like that from him. Rolling your eyes as far back into your head as they could go, you turned your body to face him fully, hand on your hip. 

“What’s so funny?”

“I appreciate you trying to give me an encouraging speech — “

“  — It wasn’t supposed to be encouraging, merely just an observation.” You sputtered, feeling your face heat at his correct assumption you tried to adamantly deny. 

“Sure. Well, whatever that was, you’re bad at it.” 

With the feeling of slight embarrassment walking its fingers up to grip your shoulder, you widened your jaw a bit, licking your chapped lips before you put your hand over your heart in faux hurt. “Ouch.”

“Regardless, I am thankful for how you’re trying to help me.” He expressed, staring up at you with dark eyes, lids heavy with lack of sleep. “But, it’s not the right time to say anythin’ to her just yet. I must sort myself out before making a big leap like that.”

Running the wet muscle of your tongue across your teeth, you took in his words, blankly staring at the creases in his forehead as he pinched the bridge of his nose in growing frustration. 

The tone of your voice softened, words coming out above a whisper, “That’s respectable. I don’t know how it doesn’t drive you insane though. Constantly trying to figure out solutions to problems that are out of your control.”

Tommy lifted his shoulders in a shrug. “Even before all of this,” Motioning to the crowds of people scattered about, innocent children playing with toys and the aging buildings that still stood, “problems are always out of your control but in someone else’s hands. There’s a reason for everything.”

“But there’s a solution for everything too.” You tutted, wagging a finger at him. 

“Since when you’d become so wise?”

“Since you told me that I'm bad at giving encouraging words.”

“I thought you said you weren’t trying to encourage me.”

“Whatever.”

Spinning on your heels, a cloud of dirt appeared around your feet. You shooed him away. “I’m going home. Keep yourself out of trouble.”

Tommy shook his head, fighting the strong urge to smile as he shouted at your retreating figure. “Always do!”

“I beg to differ!”

With a cheeky smile on your face and aching cheeks, you kept your head high as you made your way home, waving at those who lingered outside, having their private conversations under the dim light of the moon. The air was crisp, the crunch of leaves beneath your feet all you could focus on until you turned the street, your shadow combining with the shapes it came across. During heated nights, you and Ellie would sneak out  — roaming the streets of Jackson without a care in the world, shushing each other to not cause a disturbance to those curled up in their beds. 

She enjoyed making shapes underneath the strung-up lights littered around every corner, having you guess what animal she was making, bending each of her fingers. You were never really good at it. No matter how hard she tried to teach you the different kinds of objects you could shape your fingers into, you had given up quickly, insisting that she was a natural at everything she tried her hand in. 

Stopping under a source of light illuminating the concrete from a nearby porch, you raised both of your hands, staring at your shadow as you bent your fingers in an attempt to make a rabbit, failing drastically. 

“I was never good at that shit.” You mumbled to yourself, dragging the soles of your beat-up sneakers against the pavement. 

Shoving your hands in the pockets of your sweater, you picked at a loose string, pinching and pulling as Joel’s house came into view. 

As you neared, interest was piqued within you at the source of light that stuck out like a sore thumb, shrouded by a large tree but very visible in the darkness of the night. Quickening your pace, you raised your brows in curiosity, making your way up the steps and around to the back of the house where Ellie’s shed stood. 

You were dreaming. That had to be the only plausible explanation as to why you were seeing what you were currently seeing right now  — or maybe you were hallucinating  — you had to be. With your heart beating quickly in the small space in your chest, thumping loudly in your ears, you drew in a sharp breath, biting the side of your cheek as you slowly took in the back of a plaid, button-up shirt, gaze drifting to dirt covered jeans before landing on the old converse sneakers you knew all too well. 

“Ellie?”

[sinful-lanterns]

The Garden, my beloveds.

Just imagine Coquelic keeping you in a cute little collar and leash that Garofano made for you. Such a spoiled little pet you'd become. We know how the women of the Garden serve Coquelic, so it would hardly be much of a difference to them to extend that to you as well. Joining her your owner in the bath becoming a regular occurrence and how you always seem ro leave baths with more bite marks and hickies then when you went in.

And between them, whenever one needs to leave to take care of something, the others are there to keep you distracted. I don't think they would let such a cute girl like you know what it is they do when they leave, that's much too scary for their sweet girl! No no, much better to stay with them, to focus on Coquelic's wandering tongue at your throat, or resting against Sumire so she can enjoy your warmth, or playing dress up with Garofano.

And when they get arrested by the MBCC? Well, it would simply be the organizations best interest to bring you along too. Wouldn't want such a dangerous trio of women to be getting angrier and angrier, just because they don't have their sweet pet, now do we? All of them suddenly becoming feircly protective of you, so many scary people around their sweet baby, no they wouldn't let anyone so much as lay a finger tip on you. Save for maybe the Chief, who gets a particular exception after all three come to trust them more.

The other Sinners must be so jealous of the sight. Just sweet and adorable you following the three women around like a loyal puppy, getting passed between their laps to be showered in all the love and affection you could want. None missing the way you suddenly appear, completely covered head to toe in bites and hickies, far far more then normal, after the most recent visit from Rahu and Shalom.

Yea.... I might think about the Garden women... maybe just a little.

I am…drooling a little bit over this ask 🤤

Something about Reader being a cute, compliant little pet that tails after Coquelic, Garofano and Sumire is scratching the itch in my brain so well… I imagine that all three women love to spoil you so, and in turn, it’s caused the MBCC some issues when they finally detained the women for being sinners. Coquelic probably came hissing and scratching for her cute little pet to join her at the Bureau when she was shackled, and poor Chief had no choice but to take you along with them, as the three Garden assassins were not having it being separated from you 🥺

nsfw under the cut

After a brutal back and forth argument between Coquelic and the Chief, the Chief had no other choice but to detain you as well, for fear that her Garden sinners would come for her head if she refused. A bit apologetic for detaining you as you did nothing wrong, the Chief was surely surprised when you came running up to your owners rather eagerly. With Coquelic, Garofano and Sumire smothering you in affectionate kisses right at the entrance.

It was clear that the four of you had a very close bond, so Chief allowed you to stay in either Coquelic’s, Garofano’s, or Sumire’s cells when it came to sleeping over for the night. You’d routinely take turns sleeping with each women throughout the week depending on how much they wanted you, but Coquelic was usually the woman you most often stayed with, as she was the most possessive and the most needy.

Every time you’d spend the night at one of these three women’s cells, expect to have a 70% chance of being fucked, as these women have quite the high libidos. You’d think Garofano and Sumire were women who’d most likely be able to keep it in their pants, but you’d be wrong. They love you, and they want to show it off to you whenever they get the chance. Which would most often them not lead to you being tied up and fucked out of your mind.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention. The Garden Sinners are very much into bondage. All three of them in fact, as it is common to find you with rope markings whenever you step out of their cells in loose or slightly revealing attire. All the sinners in the Bureau (plus Chief and Nightingale) are painfully aware of what happens to you whenever you spend the night at a Garden assassin’s room, but aside from the jealous stares and blushes that show their arousal, no one says anything for fear of Coquelic coming for their head…

Speaking of Sinners, some of them get a bit jealous over the trio having such a cute, submissive pet tailing their every move. Some of which have tried getting close to you (Namely Bai Yi, Shalom, and Chelsea) and were promptly met with an angry Coquelic, or a knife slamming way too close to their face.

Shalom especially, as that woman got on Coquelic’s nerves the most. If Coquelic ever saw Shalom sitting close to you, trying to swoon you over with sweet words and caresses to your hair, Coquelic gets pissed the fuck off and snatches you away as quickly as she can.

In conclusion, Coquelic, Garofano, and Sumire are all like possessive cats when it comes to you. They are capable of sharing you amongst themselves, yet when it comes to the other Sinners…well…

The Chief would have to use her shackles often 😅

[riverssongs13]

People talking about autism: "neurodivergent this, neurospicy that"

Which is all and good but, I have a love-hate relationship with my brand of the spicy brain.

Yesterday I saw a random TikTok video that discussed how Mahler's Ninth symphony was not merely just of "death" but is quite decidedly "of dying". The video was showcasing how the audience was amazingly able to keep the last 6 minutes of controlled silence in the 9th's finale without any noise, no clapping, nothing.

The video then talked about how Mahler's Ninth is the greatest representation of the process of dying, and how the last two pages of the score runs for nearly 6 minutes despite the scarcity of notes, with the last note marked as "passing away", this last section being just an extended act of disintegration of life. The whole orchestra holding the music as long as they can, clinging on to the silence until its inevitable end.

And so upon reading that description my coffee-addled brain said, hey that sounds like The Locked Tomb series and all the characters from the Ninth House! Music and Necromancy goes brrr! And they're both NINTH so surely there must be some connection there! I must investigate this seemingly irrelevant, unconnected thing about two of my special interest!

Fast forward to now and I've spent the entire night reading countless articles, analyses, and blogposts about Mahler, I've halfway finished about three dissertations on his music, I've pirated a couple books and biographies, learned of leitmotifs, "birds", Leitklänge, and idiophonic sound symbols, and I've listened to all 90 glorious minutes of the Ninth quite repeatedly.

Which is to say, I'm definitely in over my head because the level of analysis Brain wants requires years and years of music theory that I simply do not possess, but stubborn Brain says it must be done no matter what. After a whole day of staring at musical notes and listening to literary words, one thing I can decidedly opine about is that there are parallels between the whole Locked Tomb series and the four structural movements of Mahler's Ninth:

I. Andante comodo (D major) - Gideon the Ninth II. Im Tempo eines gemächlichen Ländlers. Etwas täppisch und sehr derb (C major) - Harrow the Ninth III. Rondo-Burleske: Allegro assai. Sehr trotzig (A minor) - Nona the Ninth IV. Adagio. Sehr langsam und noch zurückhaltend (D♭ major) - Alecto the Ninth, once it gets published

I have yet to form a deeper impression on all this but, I just find it funny how indeed, the movements somewhat represent the titular characters and their experiences, based on the titles alone. Andante comodo - comfortably at a moderate tempo. (If that doesn't scream GIDEON I don't know what does lol) Im Tempo eines gemächlichen Ländlers. Etwas täppisch und sehr derb - At the pace of a leisurely Ländler. A bit clumsy and very rough (our Lady Harrowhark, post-lobotomy, bleeding ears and all).

Admittedly, I haven't finished Nona, and we're still collectively suffering Alectopause, but movements III and IV are Rondo-Burleske: Allegro assai. Sehr trotzig - Very cheerful, very defiant; and Adagio. Sehr langsam und noch zurückhaltend - very slow and still reserved. Do with that information what you will. (I'm still betting it'll ring quite true for Alecto once it's out).

So there. This is currently eating at my neurons. The next few days or weeks will have no music save the Ninth, or until this particular itch gets scratched/gets replaced. Faaaaak. I truly envy neurotypicals who do not suffer these kinds of sudden obsessions. How quiet must your brains be. 🥴

[hauntedhokage]

Bakugou subscribing to a patreon for the audio content. He knows there are pictures and other perks he has access to with the subscription tier but he truly only cares about the audio content she produces. The erotic stuff is pretty good, does the trick at scratching the particular itch that helps him get off. The only perk to his subscription tier that he actively utilizes is the monthly short audio request and that's because he likes hearing the affirmations she comes up with. She was also very good at making affirmations maintain eroticism, and he often commissioned some longer audios (a couple being just pure affirmations that helped him settle down after difficult nights at work).

And one day he's coming into the apartment building he called home, when he sees someone struggling to muscle a massive box towards the staircase. His intervention and offer to help is met with a grateful expression and he's trying to think about where he might have seen you before but his brain is drawing a blank.

Your voice sounds familiar and he can't place it, but that's not a big concern for him at the moment when he's got your large box in his hands while following you to your door. He'd never seen who lived across from him before now, and he had to wonder what it was you did with your time that not once had he crossed paths with you until today.

"You're my hero."

That statement makes his brain short circuit and he almost drops the box as you're unlocking your door. He knows where he knows your voice from now, and now he knows that you're living across the hall from him.

[barrenclan]

(gestures to that one panel in the new issue) you see you can tell their family because of their matching eyebags

in all seriousness you are making me soo insane. i barely even touch tumblr but every once and awhile ill come check “new patfw updare? new patfw update?” like a lil parrot and i reread different pages so much i just. my brain chemistry has been altered. outside of the story and all that i love how you format the whole thing. ive never seen a comic formatted like this in my life with like the. the. the text outside of explicit dialogue still there you know but it scratches a little itch for me and you utilize it SO WELL. like i feel like if you were to switch patfw to any other format, outside of the effort itd obviously take to make it itd just be. really hard to get right if that makes sense. its just… so tied to its strange little format its great. if i may ask like. stupid question but is this just like a type of formatting you just decided to use or did you see it somewhere else beforehand? bc like it may be common or smth i dont read many comics man

weird tangent aside i love the characters, story all that too of course! theres just. so much to talk abt there i wouldn’t know where. To Start. youve done admirable job of fleshing out so many characters to some degree in the time youve had. some of barrenclan may be assholes but theres something to be said about all of them. beeface isnt mean all the time etc, you know? they dont feel static in the sense that they feel like they are living their kitty lives. slug family in particular just scratches a little itch for me i could go. on and on. i miss asphodel. if you kill any more of them i wont. do anything but i would be very sad.

i cant imagine the type of dedication and effort it would take to keep smth like this going and just. yeah!!👍 good luck with ur silly kitty comic solider

Thank you so much for all your kind words! I'm so glad you like the comic! I've had a lot of fun making it and the response has been truly flattering.

The "style" is not my own creation; it is inspired by one of my favorite webcomics, Paranatural, which transitioned out of traditional comics into this format a couple years ago. :] Like so:

That is what it's based on! And I've seen setups like it in other places before, though none come to mind. However it's not very common in webcomic spaces - although my friend haw does have a new comic @pipjackal which uses a similar setup! Read Pip Jackal, please, for me. And Paranatural.

[petratherrock]

Rewatched the anime again after having a 14794372th reread of the manga and idk why this scene always stuck with me, I remember all the dialogues word by word

Edit : another reason i forgot to mention, it's because the intonation and japanese dialogue is just so...ear candy. Pleasant to my ears lol. Honey's intonation and voice in particular scratches the itch in my brain. Yes I'm that kind of person that'll keep repeating a scene if the voice and intonation sounds pleasing to my ears

I mean among other things, this entire scene just kinda sums up their relationship with Haruhi

There's Tamaki who was worried about Haruhi and wanted her to understand why he was mad at her for not asking for help from the other guys before jumping the jerks at the beach

There's Kyoya who's just silently there, and assisted Tamaki to his room at the end lol because this doesn't really concern him emotionally, but I bet he was concerned too. He's just not as expressive as the others

Honey being the mediator in this situation is so endearing because he's the one who can slow talk it and make Haruhi understand why Tamaki was mad and that they we all were worried abt her safety. Honey is just generally very adorable too!! I love his Japanese va sm, the way she makes Honey sounds so adorable even while he's advising Haruhi and just speaking in general !!! (Momiji Furuba va!!)

The twins laying it out for Haruhi that they were as worried as Tamaki as well and then sighing when Haruhi belatedly realized that they were worried about her safety and not mad because she was a burden to them

Then there's Mori. He may not have a lot to say but he's always there lol. This guy just be standing with his crab with the others squeezing Haruhi. He's that moral support friend xD you can rely on him to be there alright

And also Haruhi's pun. In english, she basically said 'this crab is in-crab-ible' 🤣 she just be punning it out, all while annoyed at Tamaki

[dumpsterflames]

I'm begging all my fellow musical theatre fans (and also alt rock/punk fans) to listen to the band Bear Ghost.

their music is a genre I can only describe as "chaos rage theatre" even though it's not musical theatre at all. honestly it fucking slaps. think kind of Beetlejuice vibes. their music is technically and musically incredible and the storytelling in their songs is just *chef's kiss*

there are a few other bands I know of that have a similar feel but Bear Ghost is my best example. It scratches a very particular itch in my brain. just immaculate vibes. (and also as someone who hates exercising, this music is the BEST to workout to)

[zedleaked]

I forgot if I sent you an ask like this already but like I never even considered shipping Gonta and Ryoma together until I saw your art and now I kinda love it because it scratches a very particular itch in my brain for some reason, something about the opposites attract and asexualness of it all. Also I love your art style!

YOU GET IT! YOU GET IT!

It makes me happy whenever I get someone to ship something through my art, it kinda reminds me about the impact art can have.

But yeah I get that same feeling!! I've always been a fan of opposites attract and size difference tropes so.... Idk Gonta and Ryoma are so easy to project on for me? as like, a questioning aroace person,,, I like seeing them trying to comprehend their feelings and trying to come to terms with them,, I like them seeing them experience that non-sexual intimacy because it makes feel so warm? Idk I'm a weird person

I also just like thinking about them experimenting with their relationship, setting boundaries, seeing what is and what isn't for them and whatnot... Like- I literally wrote a fic where Gonta and Ryoma just talked about if they were comfortable with sex and if it was a compulsory part of their relationship [it isn't],,, idk,, I really like communication!! I like when they are nice and gentle and warm to each other wahghgh!!

[watchyourbuck]

FANFIC TAG! When you get this, share three of your favorite fan fics or fan fic writers, give a shoutout to those who deserve it! Then send this ask to three people, on anon or not, doesn’t matter, just spread the love for the amazing writers on here 💕 📖💕

hiii <3

so I’m currently reading Both Bermuda and Golden (Lost but Doing Just Fine) by @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels and it’s fucking amazing slay so big shoutout <3 (this is buddietommy)

next on my tbr list is because we’ll all arrive in heaven alive by @neverevan who has amazingggg things so I’m rubbing my hands like a fly & stuck now so long, just got the start wrong by @daffi-990 which is now completed btw so I can’t wait to munch <3 (these are both buddie)

also I recently finished and LOVED except everything by @eddiebabygirldiaz which is delicious yummy amazing (buddie) & we don’t know where this is going now (don’t be afraid of heights, open your heart wide) by @wikiangela which scratched a very particular itch in my brain so bigggg dreamy sigh (bucktommy)

and finally but not least I would also love to rec some of my fav authors too like @diazsdimples @dadbodbuck (who posted some yummy eddie centric fic last night btw!!!!!!!) @smilingbuckley @devirnis @hippolotamus @queerdiazs @sonofatoasterwaffle @kirkaut @buckttommy @princessfbi & @prettyboybuckley all of whom cook some pretty good fucking food and are sooo worth the read ᯓ★

thank you for the ask!

[quibbs]

if its ok to ask do you have any recommendations, of like, songs, movies, tv shows, books, comics, webcomics,,,, like. literally anything of the sort. and similarly, if its ok to ask, what inspired soil that binds us?

ok sorry this took me so long to answer! i just kept thinking about it instead of writing about it. a problem that is common for me, lol. anyway i think pieces of media that tend to have the strongest effect on me tend to be bittersweer, have a particular focus on interconnectivity between everyone involved, and are character focused/character dynamic focused. that's what tends to wring the most inspiration and joy out of me. i also really love pieces of media that are bad but are made with so much sincerity and passion that it does NOT matter to me how bad it is- i also find those pieces of art UNFATHOMBLY inspiring.

so: soil that binds us i think spiritually had 4 influences that shines above the rest.

-NARUTO [sincere, long form, teen-oriented, shonen energy, the power of love and friendship will save us, action scenes and BLOOD, the fun matters most for a lot of it],

-HOMESTUCK [exceedingly complicated, irreverent, balancing vulnerable and invulnerable in a clinically insane way, emphasis on the protagonists psyche, interconnectivity as a priority, kind of expecting you to get lost along the way, the fun matters most]

-THE LAST OF US [a game that inspires literally everything I will ever do forever, inspired me to be more vulnerable, character driven, post-apocalyptic, finding light and tenderness whilst trapped in HELL through your relationships with others, excels in the feeling of bittersweet, etc]

-anddd DRAGON AGE [another game that literally inspires everything i do, interconnectivity, character focused/character dynamic focused, sincere, good balance of gritty and silly, the first thing i turn to to analyze characters for because none of those characters have ever left my head after 15 years .]

those are my biggest media inspirations for soil that binds us but, especially as a teenager, music shaped what directions i took the characters like playdough. a lot of what defined my characters came from this playlist as i was writing them. i always started with the feeling first (which songs are good at) and then expounded upon the feeling i found in the song in written form. highly reccomend it!!! music is so inspiring and i always turn to it when i'm stuck.

as for tv shows/movies- despite the fact that he is (rightfully) extremely clowned on now, a lot of joss whedon works shaped my skull. buffy the vampire slayer and it's less good spin-off show angel DO live in my brain forever and in a special little hall of it's own. i'm pretty sure it inspired a lot of dragon age, too, so there you go.

i wish i had more comics/books to recommend you, but i actually don't read a lot of them these days!!! which is ironic, i know. i just keep losing time. I think maybe the closest written thing i can think of that is similar to my comic is the locked tomb trilogy- and that was a series that was ALSO heavily inspired by homestuck. same with undertale. so maybe look out for anything homestuck seems to have inadvertently given birth to!! i wish you luck on your hunt for comics that scratch the itch for you.... i know they're out there, and if they're not, give it a few years haha. homestucks reach is very far. GOOD LUCK!