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changbinsboobs · 1 month ago

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Can you do skz as husbands next ??

Skz as Husbands series : Chan

Ohhhh boy...ya'll are not going to like this. Idk if i myself am shocked or not surprised...but literary ALL of the cards are BAD, and i kept on drawing and drawing more hoping at least one good will come out but...🥲 sadly all of them are pretty weird.

That being said i am reading current energy not current energy, and im not getting AT ALL vibes from chan for wanting to get settled down anytime soon. All of his focus is on his career and goals and ambitions etc and theres just no place left for a family.

So i guess it makes sense that all of the cards are really negative as it's just not his time now. I do feel potential in him tho (after some therapy and probably retirement).

Im just gonna go ahead and start with the 9oS which tells me that being a husband and the head of the family will put IMMENSE pressure on him with which he cannot deal with. I think he makes it much bigger in his mind and lets doubts, paranoia, stress etc get the best of him and im seeing him actually having pretty hesitant thoughts on marriage for that time being just for that same reason. I think he's a guy that sees this as a very serious job (can imagine him picking that up from his dad) and its nothing to be taken lightly and as i said it gets very twisted and exaggerated in his head and takes the best of him. If he were to get married right now, he would change very quickly from what his s/o has seen from him and take a huge turn for the worse and put forward his shadow side. Im seeing lots of toxic coping mechanisms too which very conveniently leads me to the next card.

The 3oC usually a nice card but not in this case, especially because of the heavy display of alcohol - im seeing him wanting to escape the crushing weight of his responsibilities and looking for that escape in the face of alcohol & shady friends that may be just too immature and bachelory-mindseted and have a bad influence on him. I can see him missing for nights on end, which also relates to the 5oP as well and him giving...no having to be forced to give the bare minimum, and him even struggling to do that, and twisting it all to look like the victim. But more on that card at the end. So as i was saying im seeing him being very absent a lot of the time, not only because of work but because he's out and about with his friends. Im not really getting cheating from the cards - but im getting heavy vibes of a similar setting where temptation is just around the corner and him just living as if he had no family back at home waiting for him. This - once again very conveniently ties to the next card😂

Which is the 5oW. Im seeing lots of fight, probably initially starting because of his prolonged missing and eventually moving on to different things. Im seeing fights escalating very quickly, starting very quickly, being very exhausting and very damaging. To the relationship, to both their mental health and to some random objects nearby👀

With The Fool im seeing him being way too immature for something like this at this current point and it shows pretty well on the card - he's just not in the right state of mind for this chapter of his life and if it were to happen it will bring out his unreadiness and immaturity forth even more - to show where he has to work on to be ready for that next stage.

And back to the 5oP again, aside from him having to be forced to give the bare minimum and him even failing at that - he very skillfuly turns it out to look as if he's the attacked one, as if he's the bullied one, as if his wife's the one who's starving him and making him out to be the bad guy and he just feels really bullied by the whole situation and behaves that way and expresses himself that way so i would say - a huge victim complex.

Overall i would say this reading was more of a "chans toxic defence and cooing mechanisms if he were put into the corner" reading, which is kinda sad cuz that doesn't really give much insight as to what he would be like as a husband cuz what we just saw wasn't really chan but his "alter ego" that protects him in a way. Yk we all have that one side of us that takes over as if on autopilot when we feel threatened in any way. I think that would be the same for chan, and if he were to feel comfortable with the idea of marriage and feel ready for that, the reading would be way way different. But i find future readings to not be much of my thing cuz thats way to unreliable cuz energy can change in so many ways, theres so many different outcomes... but we'll see how the other readings turn out and if all the guys have weird current energies that don't really answer what they'll be like as proper husband i may try a future reading.

#skz #stray kids #tarot reading #kpop #bang chan #skz tarot #kpop tarot #stray kids tarot #bang chan tarot #headcanons #reaction #future spouse

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exaflux · 4 months ago

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How good is BTAA Scarecrow at therapy really? (An Analysis) (Part 2)

[Part 1]

Alt title: What the hell is JoyCure anyway?

Now onto the long overdue second part of this analysis series looking at the most ethical psychologist the world has ever laid eyes on. We simply must rate his performance!

I apologeese for the delay on this. Been in my drafts for over a month blegh.

This is a very long analysis compared to the first part, word of warning.

This part contains- more breaking down of psychology approaches some in less detail if covered in the first bit, Harvey almost falling off a skyscraper, and in the conclusion some talks on JoyCure and a talk on how Jon views "trust" (if you're into character analysis)

Disclaimer- I am not a trained psychologist or therapist or anything of the like, I just like psychology as a topic. This writing is purely for fun.

Harvey and Two-face will be referred to seperately in this analysis, but if referring to both Harvey will be used as default. Jonathan is still Jonathan.

Delightfully surprised by all the people who enjoyed the first part by the way! The likes and reblogs are much appreciated~

Session two-

The following all takes place in S2, Episode 7 unless otherwise stated

This session starts out with Harvey and Two-Face talking amongst themselves, focusing on a strange noise they can mutually hear in the background. In his confusion, Harvey asks Jonathan if he's still there, to which he responds: "Yes. I'm right here, Harvey. You can leave your blindfold on until I tell you to remove it, please" (10:37). Immediately responding to the questions of a worried client would help with setting their nerves at ease while minimising the amount of time they'd experience distress, with the added bonus of some trust building. Also Jonathan is so polite here! What a nice man.

That sound that Harvey's hearing, by the way, is explained by Jon as such: "That's Harmony, Two-Face. You've never known a moment of it in your entire tortured existence" (10:55). Reminder that wording matters as it can influence client outlook, especially in a therapy setting. Describing a client's experiences as a "tortured existence" is quite negative and is not an example of a good therapy practice.

A bit further on Jonathan starts advertising his goods explaining why Harvey is hearing weird stuff, claiming "the JoyCure has brought peace at last to your long inner conflict. You simply must trust me. Remember, we talked about trust when you agreed to put that blindfold on for me?" (11:24). This sets the scene as a trust exercise. Not too bad. "You said to cooperate. We cooperated" "Yes, Harvey, cooperation, that's exactly what today's lesson is all about [...] I want you to cooperate with you" (11:36) Never mind. Please do not gaslight your clients then claim you were talking about something completely different when they catch wind of it. 🚩❌ The memory is actually quite suggestible. You can influence a person's memories by both wording used in a question and how you word it. As a psychologist Jon should know this.

Directly following on from Jon's previous statement, Two-Face says he doesn't get what Jon means, so he goes on to clarify "We have oh so many ways we wage war within ourselves every day. You're just an unusually extreme case" (12:01). This is a very interesting thing for Jon to say given his tendency to negatively describe his clients' situation, and at a blush I almost said this was within acceptable therapy practices. Almost. See, here he establishes that everyone suffers from inner conflict, and Harvey's situation is just a step above that. It's notable enough to comment on, being "unusually extreme" but it's still very much kept within the realm of normal behaviour. Imo the language use here ("extreme") doesn't necessarily have a negative connotation but is an observation, but your mileage may vary. This sounds good, right? But then you have to ask- why is Two-Face needing to ask about this to begin with? This session has been set up as a trust exercise already, and these have to be discussed and agreed to beforehand. It's ethically necessary. This tells me that Jonathan has completely neglected to explain the how and whys with Harvey before all this stuff was set up for the session. He broke ethics.

"I am going to take off your blindfold now, and then I'd like you to tell me how irrational you believe your fear of high places to be" (12:42). Always good practice to give clear and easy to follow instructions to clients if you're doing an exercise with them. After Harvey removes the blindfold, finding himself standing outside of a skyscraper window, Jon wants to know his thoughts- "Tell me how do you feel?" (13:18). Again therapy stuff. Therapists ask questions on how their clients feel about certain experiences, and in identifying a feeling clients can then work towards learning why they feel that way.

We find out that Harvey finds himself unbothered by how high up he is, and later that this is due to the drug he took, JoyCure. Immediately after being asked whether he'd like to look at the view alongside Harvey, Jon responds "Thank you, I'll stay here inside where it's safe" (13:40). As if it isn't obvious enough already, standing outside a skyscraper window isn't exactly safe. Therapists, don't ask your clients to do this either. Jon throughout most of this segment doesn't sound too bothered by his own breaching of ethics, in fact he sounds like a kid who just got told they'll be getting $50 worth of Robux after class for peak gaming. Maybe it's because he's still a therapist and considers all this as progress in his client? Who knows. Either way, Jon slowly gets Harvey to do increasingly more and more dangerous things on the ledge outside the window: "In fact, you might even dance a jig on that narrow ledge if I asked you to" (14:30), "[...] you would walk to the end of that flagpole if I asked you to, I bet" (15:07). Again, this is dangerous. At the very least he's just suggesting this. It's not like he's telling Harvey (who's still relying on others to make decisions for him at this point) to walk that flagpole, right? "Yes, I want you to show me you can walk it like a tightrope [...] Walk to the very end" (15:22). Ah.❌ At the very least he's celebratory of his client's achievements, exclaiming "Congratulations Harvey!" (15:56) when that flagpole does get walked like a tightrope. Nice.

"Now this next part is very dangerous. When you're ready, turn around and come back" (16:06)- Once again, wording matters in therapy settings. Stating that the next part of the exercise is dangerous would definitely not help with putting client's worries at ease.

Neither Harvey Two-Face nor Two-Face Two-face can make heads or tails cough cough of what they've been told to do. "What do you mean when we're ready?" "Simply discuss it amongst yourselves. When you mutually decide you want to come in, turn either to your left or alternately turn to your right and come back" (16:15). Jon again making his instructions clear to his client. Two-Face becomes uneased at this response however and wants Jon to tell him what to do, with Jon declining to (16:39). This is still within the realm of normal therapy practices as Jon can't do this exercise for Harvey.

Also, at this point it'd be good to mention that despite me characterising this whole thing as a "trust exercise" up 'til now, that isn't strictly the only thing it is. This whole scene is actually an example of exposure therapy. This form of therapy is performed normally on people to help treat phobias and various anxiety conditions, OCD and PTSD. As the name suggests, this is done through presenting the client with whatever thing is a trigger to them in feeling anxiety and over time through exposure they'll (in theory) feel less anxiety over the trigger. One caveat though- you're still supposed to talk about this with a client beforehand, understand how comfortable they feel with doing the exercise and be completely willing to stop the exercise if the client no longer wants to do it. It's apparent already that Jon hasn't done this. There's multiple types of exposure therapy, this one is called gradual exposure, or systematic desensitisation. With this version of the therapy a client is supposed to make a tier list of what things give them least to most anxiety called an (exposure hierarchy), then they work their way up at their own pace. Jon here seems to be calling the shots though much more than his clients on how much they "face their fears" as it were, especially given Harvey can't make any decisions for himself.

In fact, to make things even worse again, Jon increasingly makes the exercise more anxiety-inducing than it needs to be. He presents Harvey with more and more decisions ("Come on, Harvey. Turn right or turn left. Then once you've turned, do you lead with your left foot or your right?" (16:53)) then plays dumb about knowing that Harvey can't currently make decisions on his own, "Ah, but you're without your coin. I'd forgotten." (17:11). Of course he's BSing about forgetting, especially when you notice how he suggested walking the flagpole earlier ("you would [...] if I asked you to, I bet" (15:07)) which makes one wonder if he was wanting to see to what extent that Harvey would actually do what he was told. Hmm... Either way though, he's being a twat and deliberately causing distress. ❌❌❌

This part is the juiciest bit of the session- Harvey tells Jon that he's afraid, and Jon talks about the drugs, JoyCure, he put Harvey on. Unfortunately, the details on JoyCure will be left for the conclusion as it is too juicy. But, about Harvey being afraid, Jon has this to say- "Your real fear isn't high places. The fear your feeling right now? That's the fear that defines you, Harvey. The fear of having to make a decision [...] No coin. No counsel. Just the two of you." (17:34). To recap everything that has went on so far, Jon tried to make out all this was a trust exercise (and according to Two-Face, he was just told to co-operate) and then it turned out that all this was actually an attempt at gradual exposure. But now we find it actually isn't, because the fear that that therapy would have treated isn't actually a fear anymore due to JoyCure. Instead, Harvey has been dunked directly into his real fear, making a decision, which is closer to a different type of exposure therapy: flooding. Flooding (unlike gradual exposure) is basically the theraputic equivalent to throwing you in the deep end of whatever you're made anxious by. It's a valid therapy technique, but is only used in particular circumstances and again with the consent of the client first. Do we think that Jon got permission from Harvey to do this type of therapy? Probably not.

If it's all too much info to understand, here's a simplified diagram:

At this point the session devolves more and more into being a train-wreck. There's hardly any actual therapy going on.

As a rundown:

Harvey wants off the flagpole. Jon's immediate response is to faux panic about Harvey slipping before mocking him with a fun fact, "Did you know a baby's first instinct is a fear of falling?" (18:02). ❌

Two-Face threatens Jon with a "I'll kill you!" and Jon barks back "You said "I"! That's a breakthrough! One of you is taking charge!(18:10). A breakthrough is another word for a milestone in therapy. But really him calling it a "breakthrough" I don't think should be taken at face value for... Obvious reasons here. ❌❌

And finally, right before the session ends, our world renowned psychologist says "Come on now. You simply need to agree upon a strategy before it's too late" (18:24). Which I mean, he's making light of the situation and how easy it sounds (in theory) for Harvey to have both his halves work together. Definitely not an empathatic approach like you'd want from a therapist.❌❌❌

In conclusion:

Just as with his first second? session with Harvey, Jonathan demonstrates good skills as a therapist, but misuses those skills repeatedly. Again, he ignores ethics and purposefully causes distress to his clients, being even worse about it than the first session somehow. At least in the first session you could argue that he made some attempt to follow standard therapy room procedure up until a point. Here though? Definitely not.

In fact just to overview everything that happens in the session, because it's a bit much to process all at once:

Harvey goes to do this exercise blindfolded, not being told what's happening until he's already outside the window. Jon goes on this whole "trust me" spiel and Two-Face points out they were told to co-operate.

Jon talks about his drug JoyCure and how it's stopped Harvey's conflicted feelings. He then tells Harvey to remove the blindfold and report how he's feeling.

He then suggests/outright tells Harvey to do increasingly dangerous stunts. You could argue this is gradual exposure therapy, but done in the worst way possible.

After he gets Harvey to walk the flagpole, Jon tells Harvey he can come back whenever he's ready. During this he's very vocal and clear on what Harvey should do. Harvey can't make a decision, Jon knows this.

Harvey shits the bed because it turns out the real fear he has is over making a decision for himself. Jon knew this the whole time, and knew that JoyCure wouldn't help with that. Suddenly the method of therapy used has shifted to become flooding therapy.

Jon absolutely refuses to assist Harvey during any of this when it comes to overcoming his fears. The session only ends because Jon's secretary calls him.

So what can we get from this beyond our wonderful analysis subject being absolutely atrocious as a therapist? Well two major things stand out.

Firstly, that Jon knew from the beginning how everything would play out. He knew how JoyCure would affect Harvey and to what extent it would. He knew that "the fear that defines" Harvey was decision making, and he most likely figured this out this from as early on as the first session if one remembers how that went. Everything from beginning to end was elaborately set up in the session to make Harvey face his defining fear head on. This plays out very similarly to the first session- Jon steered everything in the direction he wanted it to go in just to make Harvey acknowledge his fears.

Thing is though, this premise has some... Interesting implications if one looks at what Jon talks about at the start of the session. Now granted I did try saying that Jon was speedrunning therapy last part of this analysis series. That idea still stands imo shitposty as it is. But to add to it though, to focus on how Jon apparently "talked about trust" before the session began. Two-Face responded that they were told to co-operate though rather than trust, and unless it's a situation where Harvey Two-Face misinterpreted something that was said, chances are he was just told to go along with it not that he has a choice. Trust was also mentioned first session too, where Jon explains that establishing a bond of trust would be the best way for him to help Harvey, and that translates to him removing Harvey's coin. Hell, Jon even tells Harvey "I think we're gonna make excellent progress if you just put your trust in me" as early as their first meeting (S2, E4, 33:04).

So what might this all mean? Just going off of the two sessions observed so far, Jon's method of doing therapy is to seek out what main fear makes a person tick, then try and get the person to acknowledge and/or face it head on whether they'd like to or not. His idea of "trust" is just having a person be unable to (or at the very least, not likely to) resist. As for his intentions about all this... That's honestly up for discussion. But! I'm hard pressed saying that none of it is him actually wanting people to overcome their fears. Not downplaying how terrible he is mind, but it'd be perplexing that a psychologist who would be only focused on traumatising clients (who can also uncover what a client is frightened by so rapidly too!) would still choose to try and get the client to recognise that fear in themselves rather than just, ya know, not telling the client their deepest fears and scaring the heebie jeebies out of them. He even goes as far as to set up a session on a skyscraper to make an elaborate point about Harvey's defining fear. He tells Harvey beforehand what he needs to do in the session, and it isn't just doing everything he says: "I want you to cooperate with you". If Jon talks about "trusting him" it's bad news. He asks whether Skids trusts him during the infamous Stabberscotch scene too, again a moment where the person he's asking to trust him is forced to co-operate (S2, E4, 5:06), reinstating the point. That said, given Jon's belief that "fear sets limits on courage" (S2, E4, 4:15), I don't reckon that him wanting to see people overcome fear is out of any streak of benevolence as much as him just wanting to see how far that person's fear goes. The possibility they might be able to overcome the fear might be the real enticing thing for him.

Second major thing that stands out, that this JoyCure thing he put Harvey on. It stops Harvey from feeling his fear of heights but not his fear of making decisions. As for why, I wager it's because JoyCure is a drug that causes feelings of euphoria and dulls basic fear caused by instinct, but it doesn't help at all with fears you actively think about.

If you're really confused right now by what I mean I don't blame you, but it'll make sense.

At the beginning of the session, Jon uses the co-operation talk to segway into rambling about conflict. According to him, everyone feels conflict, and Harvey is just a step up from that. Conflict is caused by fear, and "When what we know is false coincides with what we fear is true, that’s a conflict and there are casualties." (12:13). Harvey is on the drug, and he seems hunky-dory, not arguing with himself, but then again he doesn't have to: Jon is giving him instructions rather than making him do anything on his own. His fear of heights seemingly vanished, he doesn't feel even slightly nervous being asked to dance or walk a flagpole so high up. But, again, he's being told to do this. In fact, remember I mentioned earlier that Jon gave a fun fact, "Did you know a baby's first instinct is a fear of falling"? That's the thing, Jon is saying here (whether intentionally or not) that a fear of heights is hardwired into us from birth. Harvey's fear of it isn't unusual at all, but JoyCure prevents him from feeling that instinct anyway. And to elaborate further, "When what we know is false coincides with what we fear is true, that’s a conflict", but Harvey is scared of heights, scared he might fall off because the height will harm him, and he's on a skyscraper so it's true. There is no inner conflict in knowing his feelings are unfounded, because they are.

So overall, if I'm right with this idea anyway self-preservation while on JoyCure goes functionally out the window. You'd normally get nervous putting your hand near a hot stove tops for example, knowing you'd get burnt, but if you took JoyCure you wouldn't feel any nerves at all about it. To again quote Jon, "Fear is a furnace which must be fed. What I have done is empty your mental coal tinder" (14:22) talking about how the drug works, that whatever "tinder" is there (in this case instinctive fear) is emptied. So, I suppose, consciously fearing is the equivalent of adding tinder again? I mean, Harvey starts feeling fear because he consciously has to make a decision, he has to think about it actively and worry actively, rather than just have the fear be reflexive like it would be dealing with something dangerous. I imagine because of this the drug also wouldn't work as a treatment for anxiety disorders. Very Sadge 💔

FINAL SCORE FOR THE SESSION:

🎊 1/10 🎊

How the hell Jon got worse than first session I have no idea but here we are. The extent of his therapy here is using psychological theory to prove a point to his clients that they're terrified of making decisions on their own. Elaborate and impressive! He probably spent more time planning how this session was gonna go than actually doing what's expected of him as a therapist.

This man does not care about ethics, client's feelings or whether his sessions might kill a man.

In fact he knows his sessions might kill someone. He plans them out after all:

"When what we know is false coincides with what we fear is true, that’s a conflict and there are casualties"

#Batman #Batman the Audio Adventures #BTAA #BTAA Scarecrow #Scarecrow #Jonathan Crane #text post #analysis #Character analysis #How good is Scarecrow at therapy really?

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thegummysharkbagsys · 26 days ago

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Why I think Dr. Fizz cares more about other people's opinions than you might think ! : An Analysis

I think most people , considering how much of a minor character Fizz is , wouldn't notice how much he seems to try to fit in , so that's what this thread is for ! I'll start this off by heading back not to ep 5 , but to smth else :

Our first bit of evidence is this scene in Box's Exit Interview !

As you can see here , Fizz seems ashamed of his interest in DND . When questioned , he even lies and says that Box was the one who went on that ramble (while it was very clearly him) . DND is commonly labeled by the public eye as a "nerdy" interest that should be made fun of , which is likely how Fizz started to dislike this aspect of himself , even if it still spills out .

Alternatively , you could also interpret his story about losing a DND campaign and 'putting it behind him' as him potentially being ashamed and / or humiliated for disappointing people with his loss , becoming broken as a result , before 'putting it behind him' , but still being ashamed due to his past negative experiences , scared of making a fool of himself again .

Now , let's move on to our second piece of evidence !

In "A Jury of Your Fears" and "You Can't Do This Forever" , we can clearly see instances where he places the opinions of other people over his own judgement and morals , even if small .

Starting with "A Jury of Your Fears" , he very likely was manipulated in some way to join the Committee , which is especially shown in the scene below !

In this scene , Dr. Fizz attempts to stand for his own opinions and morals , stating how hurting Candle would be against his oath as a doctor . However , upon being threatened by Walkie Talkie , he takes her side , following her orders to attack Candle .

This shows how easily swayed / manipulated he can be , which likely could be influenced by his wish to 'fit in' or follow the others around him .

This case especially stands true in the next episode , specifically , with these scenes :

Once again , we notice the pattern of Fizz speaking up for his own morals , only to change his mind and agree with literally MURDERING Mephone4 due to the opinions of the other members around him .

Of course , it seems likely he changed his vote to not melt Mephone4 around the end (at least , based on who I knew voted for melt and who didn't) , but it's possible he could have been swayed off-screen before casting his vote . Though , this is just speculation . Either way , the main point still stands .

Finally , we move on to what I think is the biggest piece of evidence in the whole thread .

[SPOILERS FOR II18 . READ AT YOUR OWN RISK .]

Someone on Twitter had recently asked Brian how Dr. Fizz communicated with Box's corpse , considering she was dead , and he clearly had to have noticed her lack of pulse when evaluating her . Brian responded with this :

This could potentially imply that Fizz KNEW about Box's state as a corpse , but gaslit himself into thinking there was a logical explanation behind it to not seem crazy to the others and of course , to fit in . Which , of course , has interesting implications in itself , especially when merged with the past pieces of evidence .

Compiling all of this together, Fizz seems to care a lot about fitting in , not wanting to seem weird or even crazy to the people around him . Because of this , when he's faced with conflict , he tends to ignore his better judgement , and , in some cases , tries to pretty much gaslight himself into thinking whatever belief he's faced with , even if nonsensical , makes sense . All so he can just fit in with society . And I think that's really interesting , considering his lack of importance in the show . I really do hope we get to see more of him and (potentially) more about this side of him ! :]

Anyway , that's gonna be all from me ! Tysm for reading this long post n ur more than encouraged to add on w/ ur thoughts n comments or just anything I may have missed ! <3

#inanimate insanity #dr fizz #dr fizz ii #ii dr fizz #object show community #inanimate insanity invitational #object shows #ii18 #ii 18 #ii 18 spoilers #inanimate insanity spoilers #ii spoilers #ii s2 ep18 #character analysis #im not normal

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bitchqueenofthebitchsquad · 15 days ago

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Another problem I had with season 2 is the weird way that hextech is treated. The hexcore is treated like it's semi sentient and malicious, no explanation for why that is, but even regular degular Hextech is treated as uniquely capable of great evil. We're given a whole episode that waxes poetic about how much better everyone would be if hextech was never invented but no explanation for why that is.

As others have pointed out, the problems between Piltover and Zaun are the problems inherent to all stratified societies, particularly ones that appear to be in the midst of an industrial revolution. The under city predates Hextech by a long shot. So why are we being shown this episode about how much better everything would be sans these tools? It just has a luddite vibe to it. I think some people mistakenly identify technology as the reason oppression exists. While some tech can exacerbate oppression, the same technology can often do the opposite. I think season 1 was still a little clumsy in places, but it did a better job of pointing out that the technology is a neutral thing. It's the system that allows greedy and ultra powerful but unqualified weirdos to make all the decisions that's a problem.

I feel like the writers who left over the pandemy took their talent with them when they bounced. I can't know this but I get the sense that the remaining writers did little to no research but were enamored with portrayals of class conflict they'd seen in other media. Not to bring up simulacra but, you know, that's what it was giving. It was derivative.

Getting back to the hexcore, I liked the aesthetic of it, particularly how it transformed Viktors body but thematically I think it was incoherent, especially when put in the context of the rest of the show. Again I like spooky purple energy with evil vibes, very witchy, but how does it help progress the narrative? It seemed to me that it was a totally derivative element. Because sometimes magic is portrayed as spooky and seductive they decided to have this cool object that was spooky and seductive. Maybe someone in the writers room was going somewhere with this but if they were I don't think the execution was successful. It doesn't have anything to do with the stronger themes of the show, it distracts from them, and then becomes a problem because they spent so much time foreshadowing it so there's no way to gracefully retcon it.

It's made even more awkward when Viktor uses his new spooky powers to help disabled people who have nowhere else to turn. Before Jayce shoots Viktor in the chest we don't actually see Viktor doing anything malicious with his magic. He's essentially just set up a rehab and is quietly minding his business. The empire and state come to him and give him grief so wouldn't the reasonable conclusion be that actually Hextech is just a tool no matter how purple and swirly it is and that militaries and cops get in the way of positive social change because they seek to abuse and control technology used to help people? But then the show goes on to make Viktor the ultimate villain and it's very hard to parse what the message is other than to avoid the very specific scenarios that happened in the show.

It's almost like they forgot the show was for an audience, forgot about the themes, and just started advertising for the next league project, forgetting to finish what they were actually making. I also think they fell victim to too big of an ending, not everything has to be world ending or contain multiverses. Idk very sloppy but, even though he's essentially an entirely new character, I loved blonde highlights Viktor.

Edit: not "no explanation" it's the blood that made it evil but again this is tropey and leaning towards derivative again. We wouldn't assume that a technology that interacts with blood is bad/evil if we hadn't all already seen a million other works that do this and have built the negative associations for us.

#arcane #arcane critical #arcane season 2 spoilers #viktor arcane #hextech

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utilitycaster · 5 months ago

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Saw a post in the tags; did exandria historically have a thing abt persecuting ruidusborn? The post mind you was largely lambasting the gods along the lines of "these gods should shut the fuck up abt their extermination when their followers in modern day are going after ruidusborn" which... Doesn't seem like the same thing for a number of reasons but also I wanted to ask a wiki person because i didn't think that anyone was actually doing that

Hi anon,

I don't know if I've seen that post precisely - there's a very good chance it's from someone who I have blocked and haven't thought to check to see what wild stabs in the dark they're making now, to be blunt about it - but this is pretty much entirely incorrect and/or deliberately leaving out crucial context.

Exandria historically had a stigma about Ruidusborn. There has been no evidence of widespread persecution specifically for being Ruidusborn. What little negative responses we have seen and have evidence of has either not actually been specifically "this person is Ruidusborn" but rather "this person has uncontrolled and invasive psychic powers that are negatively impacting me specifically and so I am, understandably, put off"; or has been a mere acknowledgement that a stigma exists. Notably, this has not specifically come from followers of the gods. We haven't seen any information about the presence of religion in Gelvaan and Laura herself as Imogen has alternately said once that she did pray to the gods and multiple times that she didn't, so anything here is entirely presumptive. (We also know that Imogen literally didn't know what Ruidusborn were until it was told to her, so I think we can pretty safely say that prejudice against Ruidusborn simply for being born under the moon, rather than like, the invasive psychic powers, was not the issue there). Alma, Orym's mother, mentioned that the Ashari attempt to avoid having Ruidusborn by delaying birth simply because of that stigma (episode 3x66) and the Ashari aren't affiliated with a deity.

The Ruidusborn page on the wiki is here, and you can cross-check with the citations (I am flattered that you ask me as a wiki person, but a wiki is a public document anyone can edit - if you are wondering, and especially if you are trying to debunk something, please cross check citations for the source of truth). I cover the key ones below.

Per Call of the Netherdeep, page 6, the widespread superstition about Ruidusborn themselves is that they are "destined to bring suffering to others, or to experience great tragedy in their own lives". This is actually less harsh than the superstition about those who study Ruidus, who are believed to be "compelled to cause misfortune and woe". Estani, in Episode 3x19 states the following: "Many important, whether for honor or great sorrow, individuals of history have been claimed to have been born under such a ruddy light." We also know, from Call of the Netherdeep, that Alyxian the Apotheon was both Ruidusborn and a devotee of the Prime Deities, receiving blessings from three of them. Obviously Fearne lived a weird and sheltered life, but we didn't find out she was Ruidusborn until we met Birdie, and she never experienced any prejudice about it during EXU or early C3 or really after that, unless you count the fact that people attuned to the conflict on either side (see next two paragraphs) like Otohan and Groon noticed it. In short: the lore about Ruidusborn and the responses to Ruidusborn in history are varied and complicated.

Finally, just from watching the show: people who do not know Imogen is Ruidusborn nor related to Liliana and whom she does not use her psychic powers on tend to respond pretty positively to her now that those powers are largely under control. I've talked before but there is a certain type of fan of Imogen that leans heavily on the "stripped of choice" narrative in which she has never done anything wrong in her entire life and has always been a victim of cruel circumstance (and more generally tends to abdicate all responsibility for their blorbos - and, frankly, themselves - not realizing that people who squirm out of their obligations are loathed for good reason and they're only worsening the response to both their blorbos and themselves). Anyway, the idea that she was persecuted simply for the circumstances of her birth and not that those circumstances led her to do things that are genuinely extremely offputting, even if done involuntarily, is a relic of that "stripped of choice victim" false narrative.

Now: it is technically true that followers of the gods in Exandria in 843 PD are going after a large number of Ruidusborn. If you have been watching Campaign 3 of Critical Role and are not absolutely fucking stupid you may have noticed this is because the Ruby Vanguard, which heavily recruited from Ruidusborn, have instigated widespread unrest and are actively trying to kill the gods by unleashing Predathos. They are not going after all Ruidusborn; in fact, they've worked with several Ruidusborn prior to Imogen and Fearne and their main reason for suspicion was "you are literally the children of generals for our enemies, and also all other Ruidusborn we previously worked with ended up leaving to join the other side", not "you are Ruidusborn and so you are bad." They are going after the army that recruited Ruidusborn to kill the gods. The Ruby Vanguard shot first.

Really, it's the same nonsensical circular logic being put forth re Aeor and Ruidusborn. The people who specifically plotted annihilation of the gods first were Aeor (with the Factorum Malleus) and Ludinus and the Ruby Vanguard (with the Malleus Keys and the intended unleashing of Predathos). To be clear: I am not denying people may have had negative experiences with the gods, but in both cases, their response wasn't to spite them: it was to attempt total annihilation. It was to create something with the intent of destroying every single god. We do have a word for that, and people keep solely using it about Aeor while ignoring it was the instigator. The gods (and their followers) are in both the case of Aeor and the Vanguard responding to an attempt at their extermination, and then these people are like "um, why won't the gods just sit still and let themselves be executed? Figures that these horrible entities are trying to stop the firing squad that has their guns pointed at them. This is just more proof that they should die - what kind of terrible person doesn't lie down and let themselves be killed!"

For what it's worth, I do not think that if Bells Hells and the Exandrian Accord foil Ludinus and the Vanguard's plans they will then proceed to exterminate all Ruidusborn, because their intent is stopping people from unleashing an existential threat that would kill all the gods, not murdering people because they were born during Ruidus flares. The goal here is not extermination; the goal is their own continued survival which requires the painful and difficult choice of sometimes killing those who are dedicated to trying to kill them. This isn't like, a novel concept in fantasy, history, nor ethics, but we are not dealing with the brightest stars in the fandom firmament here.

I mentioned before that I have yet to see a post that posits all the gods should die or that sides with Aeor entirely that isn't riddled with factual inaccuracies from the lore, and that I wish we had "readers added context" options on Tumblr; sadly, we do not. I am happy to answer questions like these, but I do want to encourage people to check the actual text. If anything seems off? You can definitely ask me (and I do have all the CR sourcebooks so if you don't, I get it) but also we've got searchable transcripts that I highly recommend using. Don't take any posts - mine included - at face value if it doesn't line up with what you personally understand. But also make sure what you personally understand is supported by the text.

#answered #Anonymous #critical role

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dr-spencer-reids-queen · 7 months ago

Text

Haunted: Part One

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~1.7k

Summary: This is Hotch's first case back since being stabbed by Foyet. As much as he says he's fine, he's not and he's letting his emotions affect the case in a negative way.

Warnings: canon violence, canon language, canon talk of death, methods of kill

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Criminal Minds. All credit goes to their respective owners. If there are any warnings that exceed the normal death/kills from the show, I will list them.

"One need not be a chamber to be haunted, one need not to be a house. The brain has corridors surpassing material place." - Emily Dickinson

Spencer isn't used to not being able to do things on his own so helping him get ready for work is a challenge.

"Will you stay still?" you say and grab his pants.

"I can do it. Give it to me."

"Spencer Walter Reid. Stop moving and let me help you."

He freezes at the mention of his middle name. No one knows it but you, apparently.

"How did you...?"

"I've seen your driver's license. Now sit down and give me your leg."

Spencer sits on the edge of the bed and stretches his bad leg out to you so you can pull his pants on. It's been a month of recovering from both Hotch and Spencer. This is going to be his first day back since getting out of the hospital, and you're not sure how this is gonna go. It could either go horribly wrong and he'll need to take more time off or he'll be back on his feet. Emily wanted to pick Hotch up and drive him to the airport even though he'd been cleared to drive on his own.

With no unit chief in the office, you have a few minutes to yourself so you and Spencer head to Penelope's office to hang with her until Hotch comes in. Spencer hobbles into her office and she pulls up a chair for him.

"Thank you."

"Does it hurt?"

"It really only hurts when I think about it, which is pretty much all the time."

You place your hands on his shoulders from behind and massage his muscles gently.

"Don't worry, I've been very good at distracting him." Penelope laughs as Spencer looks at you with a smile on his face. You lean down and kiss him Spiderman-style. It's becoming one of your favorite positions to kiss him. When you pull away, you rake your fingers through his hair. "When are you gonna let me braid your hair?"

"Never," he says playfully and pushes you off him. Penelope has a box of cookies on the table, and he reaches to grab one but she slaps his hand away and slaps the lid on it. "Hey!"

"These are for Hotch," she says and puts a bucket of lollipops on top of them.

"I get shot in the leg and I don't get any cookies? You know he's gonna hate the attention," Spencer says and grabs a lollipop.

"It's cookies, not cake."

"He's probably gonna pretend like nothing happened," you state.

"Well, it doesn't mean we have to."

"I think maybe we should."

"I don't roll that way."

"I've been thinking about the entire time I've known Hotch, I don't think I've ever seen him blink," Spencer says.

"I know. It's weird."

"It's classic alpha male behavior."

"Do you think he stared down Foyet?" Penelope asks fearfully.

"Yes. I saw it. He didn't go down without a fight, that's for sure."

"Do you think he stared the whole time, like with each stab?"

"Yes."

"Is he okay?"

"I wouldn't be, but I'm a blinker," Spencer says, and you kiss the top of his head.

The door opens and JJ walks in with files in her hands.

"Spence, Y/N, there you two are. Grab your go bag."

"What's going on?"

"Turn on the news."

Penelope turns on one of the news channels that's talking about the most recent crime your team is going to investigate.

"Just after eight this morning, forty-year-old Darrin Call, a lifelong resident of Louisville, assaulted customers at the pharmacy on the corner of Main and Truxton Avenue. Eyewitnesses saw him walking east on Main Street minutes after the attack. He has not been seen since then. He was wearing a blue shirt, jeans, and a light-gray jacket. Within the hour, the Governor has called in all sources for a manhunt. Despite these statewide efforts, the suspect has eluded law enforcement. The body count is rising. Three are confirmed dead including an armed bank guard whose gun was used in the attack. Another two remain in critical condition. The assailant is still out there. We are going back to Eric Jennings who's been talking to residents of Louisville residents."

"We're going to Louisville."

"Alright. Bye, Pen."

You get up and escort Spencer out of her office over to his desk. You grab both yours and his bag since he can't carry his own and use his crutches, and you two head out with the team to the airplane. Spencer takes the couch to rest his leg while you take one of the chairs surrounding the small table.

"Our point person in Louisville is Lieutenant Kevin Mitchell," JJ says.

Just then, Hotch and Emily walk onto the plane, and you immediately feel anger coming off Hotch in waves. He has a stoic look on his face like always but the anger is stewing deep down inside him. It's a calm anger and it's all for Foyet.

"Good morning," Hotch greets.

"You look well, sir," Penelope says over video chat.

"Thank you. How long do you have that?" Hotch asks Spencer about his crutches.

"I'm not really sure. Welcome back."

"Thanks. Any other attacks?"

"No, not yet. Call's proven hard to track. He's never had a driver's license, so he's most likely still on foot or public transportation."

"No, he's not gonna take the bus. His face is everywhere," you shake your head.

"Has anyone found a stressor?"

"He just lost his job," Penelope explains. "He's worked at a factory since 1990 making appliances and not a single promotion."

"That's a long time to be bitter."

"Yeah, he's of the hermit variety. As far as I can tell, he's got no one. No wife, no kids, and no parents."

"Nothing to live for. Why hasn't he killed himself yet? Sprees usually end in suicide. If he's got nothing to live for, why hasn't he ended it?"

"He's not finished yet," Spencer answers Hotch. "We know he has displaced anger. He took it out on the first victim."

"The stock boy represents someone. We need to know who. Is he military?"

"No."

"He's lashing out for a reason. This guy's got anger, endless targets, and a gun. He's just getting started."

When the plane lands, you go off with Derek and Hotch to the crime scene at the pharmacy while Spencer and JJ head to the police station to get set up. Lieutenant Kevin Mitchell is waiting for them as soon as they walk in, and he's eager to get started. Before your team landed in Louisville, he created checkpoints on the state's lines at both the I-64 and I-65 and within a twenty-mile radius downtown. They think he's still on foot.

Take into consideration the average walking speed of two and a half miles per hour, and it's been just under three hours, then that adds up to an approximate eight-mile radius. First responders started a hard-target search of businesses and residences within that eight miles, and you're going to join them.

The lieutenant dug up all he could on Darrin Call but didn't find much. Me and Rossi are at his apartment so they might be able to find something the police couldn't. The strategy in all of this is to determine where he's headed next in order to stop him. Most spree killers are outwardly aggressive, and Darrin isn't that. He's defensive even if the video doesn't immediately show it.

You watch the video of Darrin over and over again until you see it. Darrin isn't aggressive until someone touches him. That's what set him off. It happens before he stabs someone. He hates being touched which is a trigger for him.

He never meant to hurt these people, and he never went in there with a weapon. JJ is working with the media to inform them as soon as she possibly can. Darrin's apartment is a five-minute walking distance from the pharmacy but there is no sign at his apartment that he came back to wash off the blood, which means he's still bloody and walking around town like that.

Penelope says he doesn't have any family, so where is he going to go looking like that? He might be messy in the head and in his everyday life, but his apartment is really neat or maybe he's military or hospitalized which means he has the same routine every day.

However, today is different. He killed three people. Why did it change?

The energy left at the pharmacy is astounding. The energy is breaking off into different streams as if it's panicking. Darrin isn't right in the head and he is definitely going to hurt himself sooner rather than later. He's going to piss off the wrong person and get hurt.

"Hotch, he's losing his mind. His mind is tearing itself into pieces. This energy is being pulled apart." Hotch stares straight ahead without giving you any indication that he heard you. "Hotch, did you hear me?"

"Yeah," he nods and walks off.

Hotch isn't okay. Who would be after what he went through?

"Mr. Call was always so quiet. He's been coming here for years," a woman talking to Derek says.

She is the pharmacist responsible for giving out medications to people.

"Has he ever had a run-in with the stock boy?"

"I can't see why he would. John was new here. I waved him over. I didn't know what else to do. No one else was helping."

"He didn't turn violent until you gave him his prescription?" you ask.

"It wasn't his. It was somebody else's. I just wanted him to calm down."

"JJ's press conference is in five minutes," Hotch says when he joins the group.

"Hotch, we might have something else here. Why didn't you give him his own medication?" Derek asks the woman.

"He didn't have any refills left."

"For what?"

"Alprazolam, but he used to be on Thiothixene."

"He was on an antipsychotic?" Hotch asks.

"That's why I wanted him to calm down. He's been off his medications for about a month now."

"When were you gonna tell us this? He's armed and delusional. Who's his doctor?" Hotch asks angrily.

"I don't remember. My computer..."

You turn to see her computer had been damaged in the fight.

"Great," Hotch scoffs and walks off.

"I'm sorry."

You and Derek look at each other because Hotch is completely out of line for this.

"He's not listening to us. I've seen this kind of behavior before. He's not going to want to listen. Not until he catches Foyet." You two walk over to Hotch. "Hotch."

"Call JJ and tell her about the meds."

"This is not her fault and you know it."

"Morgan, he's in a psychotic break. It changes everything."

"Do you want to talk about this?"

"No! I want to find him!" Hotch sighs in frustration and pulls out his phone to call Penelope. "Garcia, he's been off his antipsychotic for a month. What else did you miss?"

"I'm sorry, sir. I didn't get his medical records yet, so--"

"Find them. Find everything."

"Yes, sir."

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fic #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid angst #spencer reid fluff #criminal minds #criminal minds fic #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds fluff #criminal minds angst #criminal minds series rewrite #criminal minds season 5

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tenebris-lux · 1 year ago

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You know, while we’re waiting for something to happen in Varna, I wanna gush (and I do mean gush) about an earlier entry and its performance in Re: Dracula: Seward’s diary, October 1, 4am.

First, a note on a detail in Re: Dracula. The part where all the guys said one after another that they all wanted to meet Renfield….

“May I come also?” asked Lord Godalming.

“Me too?” said Quincey Morris. “May I come?” said Harker.

The way Seward said “said Harker”, he sounds so annoyed! Like, “Ugh, FINE, everybody come. All of a sudden my patient is the most popular guy around.” The delivery for just that little line in Re: Dracula made me grin.

But onto to the meat of the entry.

Renfield pulled out ALL the stops in trying to convince Seward to take him out of the asylum. He did everything he could to impress on Seward that he was on the same page as any other guy, even ahead a little—intelligence, reasonability, culture, diplomacy, you name it. He took full advantage of the entourage that followed Seward. The pointed way Trench said the line, “By the way, you have not introduced me,” had the emphasis meant to put Seward on the spot—‘who appears less civilized here? In company?’ He then shows respect for everyone in the room named, displaying knowledge, grace, courtesy, charm, what have you. He was probably not expecting everybody to show up, so he had to improvise. But right off the top of his head, he was able to impress on each of them that he’s not “lesser”.

The pure charisma he displayed made a slight impression on Seward, kind of a knee-jerk reaction to go, “Yeah, sure, you seem perfectly fine, I’ll draw up the paperwork…” But then Seward catches himself. Unfortunately. Still, if Seward had been at all professional about Renfield in his treatment of him so far, him saying he’d talk to him more about it in the morning might not have been unreasonable. And if Renfield didn’t have an ulterior motive to leave the asylum right then, he could’ve possibly taken the opportunity to try to impress him more; not play Seward’s twisted mind games. Unfortunately, he could not afford to wait. At all. So he insists that time is of the essence and he has to go now.

“He looked at me keenly, and seeing the negative in my face, turned to the others, and scrutinized them closely. Not meeting any sufficient response, he went on:—

‘Is it possible that I have erred in my supposition?’

‘You have,’ I said frankly, but at the same time, as I felt, brutally. There was a considerable pause, and then he said slowly:—

‘Then I suppose I must only shift my ground of request….’”

“Brutally” is right. Jack’s voice was very blunt and short in Re: Dracula, and it was audible in Renfield’s voice that the wheels were turning; like, ‘how can I get through to this guy? I thought I was onto something there, but … Plan B then.’ His Plan B is a little more direct, less certain, and involves more crossing one’s fingers: appeal to Seward’s compassion, and try to tell him why he wants out so soon, which … ugh, isn’t much. That’s why he threw his all into plan A; plan B was extremely uncertain at best.

Still reasonably, he says he has reasons for wanting out, that it’s for the sake of others. But he can’t tell him why. Just … please trust him on this?

Unexpectedly, he just loses ground with Seward, but he’s got Van Helsing’s interest, and Van Helsing’s the type who tries to make a practice of giving the benefit of the doubt.

“He said to Renfield in a tone which did not surprise me at the time, but only when I thought of it afterwards—for it was as of one addressing an equal:—“

Which Jack found weird when reflecting on it later. Because why would Jack even consider Renfield being equal? But anyway, Van Helsing takes the initiative and overrides Jack’s authority by saying, ‘If you can state clearly why you want to go and convince me, he’ll let you and take responsibility.’ Which is kind of a weird gamble, if you ask me. Like, yeah, Seward would probably do it, because it’s Van Helsing, but it still seems odd to me. Van Helsing says later that he knows a lot less of “madmen” than Seward does (should we tell him?), so it’s a risk. But he was much closer to believing Renfield than Seward was. Whatever the case, Renfield couldn’t tell them anything. Van Helsing tried to persuade him to change his mind, because then he’d make so much more progress, rather than if he just kept secrets, right? But he wasn’t picking up that it wasn’t that Renfield didn’t want to say something, or was afraid to.

He literally couldn’t tell them.

“Dr. Van Helsing, I have nothing to say. Your argument is complete, and if I were free to speak I should not hesitate a moment; but I am not my own master in the matter. I can only ask you to trust me. If I am refused, the responsibility does not rest with me.”

The helpless way he says ‘I have nothing to tell you.’ And he’s DROPPING HINTS. He hears and understands Van Helsing’s arguments and if he WERE FREE TO SPEAK … but he is not his own MASTER…. Come onnn, Jack, you’ve heard that word before, right? I think somehow Renfield knows the guys are heading next door, so come on, Jack, put two and two together. Where else has Renfield used that word? And again, I love the added emphasis Felix Trench put on the word “master”. Like, come on, man, take a hint. Yes, Renfield’s addressing Van Helsing, but Seward’s hearing this. Seward’s the one here who knows his habits, his patterns.

Right?

…

No go.

“Come, my friends, we have work to do. Good-night.”

Renfield’s only chance is heading out the door. Reason and trust have both failed. Last ditch effort: pure desperation. Pleading, begging, on his knees, crying. Saying he’ll go under ANY circumstance Seward picks out, even if it comes to torture. Anything. Anything.

And Trench’s performance … oh god, the tears coming, the breathlessness, the way words warp when you talk while crying….

“Can’t you hear me, man? Can’t you understand? Will you never learn? Don’t you know that I am sane and earnest now; that I am no lunatic in a mad fit, but a sane man fighting for his soul? Oh, hear me! hear me! Let me go! let me go! let me go!”

GOD. He’s just so desperate to get ANYTHING from Seward. Is there anything in that man he can reach?

Still no. The way Jonathan Sims said Seward’s next lines—“Come, no more of this; we have quite enough already. Get to your bed and try to behave more discreetly.”—were PERFECT. Sternly chiding a lesser person who’s misbehaving, in tone, but with cold unfeeling words. Absolutely no warmth. No connection.

“He suddenly stopped and looked at me intently for several moments.”

The last check. Is there anything there? Anything in there at all he can reach or connect with?

“Then, without a word, he rose and moving over, sat down on the side of the bed.”

Just … the way he gives up. He’s out of options. Absolutely nothing will get through to the guy he needs to understand him. Or his friends, even the “open-minded” one. They all think he’s crazy and apart from them. He just needed one of them—preferably Seward, but any of them would do—to stand in his corner, and just relocate him somewhere. They can pick any conditions they want, just so long as he leaves now.

But Seward has never understood him. He made it a hobby to “try to understand him” and “know how he works”. And now when he actually needs to, he’s completely off-base. I won’t go so far as to say that if it weren’t for Seward, the attacks on Mina wouldn’t have happened, because it ultimately comes down to Dracula being the attacker. Still, it’s frustrating.

The final thing Renfield says to Seward as the doctor heads out the door—“You will, I trust, Dr. Seward, do me the justice to bear in mind, later on, that I did what I could to convince you to-night.”—was described as said “in a quiet, well-bred voice,” and it certainly was that in Re: Dracula, but it also came across as drained and defeated and … done. Just … ‘I tried.’

And he really did try.

He knows he has a weakness and is susceptible. There’s no telling when his mental fortitude might weaken next. But if/when it does, it wouldn’t be just him that suffers consequences.

….. anyways, that’s my gush.

#Renfield #Jack Seward #Van helsing #Dracula #Dracula daily #re: Dracula

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tapwater118 · 6 months ago

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pinned post jumpscare blauughh

pronouns.cc | strawpage

hiya i’m flower!

i'm plural i think. i (the host) also go by golf ball, GB, box, gaty, maddie, tap water, tap, captain coinpin (<- silly), etc. queer person on the internet with too many names, check

collectively tap/tap water, she/they, 21 y.o. (individual names/pronouns can be found in the pronouns.cc)

fictkin with a bunch of weird blorbos (if you couldn’t tell from the first part)

i like various things and then will proceed to draw them. big fat bfdi/osc special interest mostly (i am a huge multishipper (based) btw so erm yeah)

feel free to use my art and such as pfps/banners/whatever, just give credit pls

let the record show that i am bad at using social media so uh i am probably a terrible mutual sorry in advance

also if i like over explain something to you please do not take it as a slight against you, i am just autistic (as if it wasn’t obvious)

if ya wanna know more, feel free to shoot up the ask box or dms, i love answering questions. i also like taking requests over asks! just note that it may be some time before i get around to your request

(regarding dms, please come in with something more than ‘hi’. i’m not comfortable initiating conversation with someone im not familiar with.)

(also don’t flirt with me. you don’t have a rat’s chance)

strawpage stuff and other incoherent ramblings are over at @taps-other-blog so look there!

also pleeease tag fireafy neg around me ty. im not even really attached to that ship its just neg about it can really put me in a bad mental state for some unknown and probably dumb reason

if you ship and/or support adult/minor, incest, zoo, etc get tf away from me ewwwwww nasty

things you’ll probably see me blabber about/draw at some point:

object shows (particularly bfdi, but i also fw inanimate insanity, hfjone, boto, animatic battle, team room 125, orb, tnm, burner, object kerfuffle, love of the s*n, ppt2, itft, ee, and others im probably forgetting) (oh and idfb fear garden tee hee)

mario

kirby

pikmin

undertale/deltarune

pizza tower

fnf

homestuck

fnaf

petscop

horror stuff in general

regretevator

to be expanded once i remember more stuff

(art may be suggestively crude in humor but never nsfw)

(also if you ask i can always add tags to stuff if you have something in particular you want to mute, i dont mind)

i am working on some cool projects i think you should check them out because they are cool:

Occasionally Coinpin: hosted over at @occasionallycoinpin. posting coinpin, occasionally (the main reason you don’t see coinpin content here all that often)

Book Askblog: hosted at @twotonedhardcover, where i pretend to be a gay little novel for shits and giggles

Battle for Hopes and Dreams: a bfdi x undertale au that puts the characters of bfdi in the world of undertale. tagged as “#battle for hopes and dreams”

Competition for Fantasy Retreat: a bfdi swap au that swaps characters’ compositions and parts of their personalities. tagged as “#competition for fantasy retreat”

BfDI 1990: an unfiction reimagining of bfdi as an NES game from 1990. tagged as “#BfDI1990” (unreality content warning for this). please note that this is NOT an ARG, there is no game or puzzle to be solved, it is simply unfiction

Tap’s BFDI D-Side: a bfdi d-side take, where characters’ designs and personalities are remixed for something new and refreshing! (based on fnf d-sides obviously) tagged as “#tap’s bfdi d side”

BFDI Redux: a hypothetical bfdi season 6, featuring many of the tpot rejects as well as underutilized veterans. tagged as “#bfdi redux”

OSC horror content: i like turning the silly blorbos into fucked up evil creatures. general tag is “#FLApasta” but each story has its own separate tag (general content warning for these)

other tags i’ll use frequently i think:

“#asks” all the crud that ends up in my inbox and also some very nice things. it is a mystery

“#yap fest” for general inane ramblings. i say some very stupid things

“#ultra yap fest” for long posts, including rants and character analyses

“#slop tier post” art and other things that are generally below a certain threshold of quality i hold for myself. i’m probably too harsh on myself but oh well

“#word salad yummy yummy” fanfic stuff. im on ao3 and wattpad if ya didnt know

“#top tier post” “#all the day every day” “#one for the ages” posts that i really really like. usually from moots

“#literally me” fictkin id posts. you get it. no you don’t. i don't get it either

“#oiny” wife

list of Friends :D

@booktaggy

@bottle-ditzy

@depraced

@lemonxlimee

@novaazurite

@ohmysheetmetal

@sourscheming

@therandomcreechur

@twig-gy

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saber-monet · 11 months ago

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“They’re talking shit” manifesting technique

“Let them talk shit” Method

So this is the technique that I used, and still currently use as an over-thinker to manifest my desired reality and maintain my desired mental state.

So back in college, I was insecure. The type of insecure, where if I hung out with friends and then I left the room, only thing that would be racing through my mind would be the idea of them talking about me behind my back. Like Just talking the most shit and calling me out of my name. Granted these are the types of friends I had back then, I now know better.

So here was the pattern :

Every time I left the room, and I felt insecure about something I had just said or done, I would imagine them saying bad things about me or finding me weird of off putting. The things I would imagine them saying, would break my heart. So I put a stop to it.

And I recognized those people were not in the room with me and I was using my imagination to hurt myself .

I could have been imagining them saying anything because I have that power and I’m choosing to see them saying most terrible things about me. So, I made the decision to imagine them still talking shit, but this time it was about all the good things I wanted.

( you have to keep the same hater energy when you do this btw)

Example:

“Who does she think she is? Just because she has a great body and works out and is always in a happy state of being. She think she’s better than us. 😒. she think she’s rich too. She only has about $100,000 in her bank account. The rest is tied up in the stock market and crypto currency. So she technically doesn’t even have that much money. 🙄”

“ she wants to be an influencer sooo bad .ugh, So what if your YouTube channel grew by 200,000 subs in less than 3 weeks and you’re getting amazing sponsorship oppertunities. So what bitch you ain’t pewdie pie. You don’t even have 1,000,000 subs yet . Pipe down”

So in those examples, I just affirmed a reality where:

- I great healthy body

- im in a happy/content state of being

- $100,000 in in my bank account

-I have plentiful bountiful investments/crypto currency

-my YouTube channel successful

-I’m getting great sponsorship opportunities

And because I used other people to affirm those for me, it’s a stronger self concept/reality. Because I’m affirming it in, first person, third person and second person( by default).

This technique works with any “negative” dominating emotion.

So if you were anxious or have anxious dominant feelings. Start affirming, anxious thoughts that you would WANT to have.

For example:

“I hope my professor doesn’t hate me for being more educated/smarter on the subject than he is 😭. Like I get he spent years in school studying this stuff, but it comes easy to me and surpass his expertise every time without fail. I hope he doesn’t think I’m trying to show him up😰”

“ I hope the bank doesn’t get suspicious about how much money I’ve been depositing into my account. 😥Plus I’ve been getting so much money this year from random sources, in such large amounts, I’m kind of worried that the IRS is going to get involved and make filing my taxes a little complicated this year.☹️”

So, in those two short sentences, you just affirm that

you’re smart,

you’re doing well in the class, and

you’ve been getting large amounts of money throughout the year, from expected and unexpected sources.

Remember if you want it, you can get it. Try “under-thinking” , it’s easier than you’d expect. No matter what state you are in. If you were able to tell a consistent story about how you want to be, you’re good.

* when I use the word “negative”, I’m talking about the words you are using to describe the situation. Because by default every situation is neutral. It doesn’t become positive or negative until you choose to assign it a value .

Don’t force yourself to be happy, force your thoughts to tell a better story. One that wouldn’t mind living out and experience. And the only except thoughts that affirmed the reality that you want. From any angle. You have to learn when and how to work with your emotions. Emotions are only bad if you identify them as bad.

When you come up with any other examples, please, I would love to hear them. share them with me.

#self concept #scripting #manifesting #affirmations #mindset #law of assumption #soft black girls #neville goddard #reality scripting #reality tinkering #your desired reality is in evitable #edward art #mental health #you are not your thoughts #thought control #saber monet #if you want other examples leave a ❤️ in the comments

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milamilamilax · 10 months ago

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Sydney's mental health

I’ve read plenty of theories about Sydney’s potential health issues, particularly whether she might have lupus, but I think the show could take a different approach. There are various clues throughout the two seasons pointing at mental health issues for Sydney, which I think these point towards things potentially getting worse for Sydney as she puts too much pressure on herself - or perhaps hints of a backstory for Sydney, but the clues are definitely there.

We’ve seen general hints about Sydney having anxiety, e.g. struggling to sleep, haunted by memories of catering, and the stomach problems she has, likely due to stress. We also know that she is closed off emotionally, to the extent that she arguably even hides the truth about her mother’s death. Although we haven’t seen it officially yet, her “c’est pas grave” tattoo feels like something someone with anxiety would say to themselves as a kind of motto.

Specific things I’ve noticed while rewatching that support this include:

Sydney talking to Carmy (1x05) about the collapse of her business “My whole shit got rocked. And there’s not a night I don’t stay up just thinking about what I could’ve done different.” Sydney refers to her shit getting rocked separately to her credit getting fucked. Notably, when talking with Marcus about the same thing (the collapse of her business) in 1x08 is how this affected her finances - her negative credit score and moving back in with her dad, so she must be thinking of something else here. (I also think this is a sign of Sydney/Carmy > Sydney/Marcus; she’s more open with Carmy when they barely know each other than she is with Marcus when they’re hanging out outside of work as friends.)

In the shots of Sydney's bedroom (also in 1x05) the choices of posters could mean something more. There are 2 film posters that we see clearly in Sydney's room: (1) Jumping' Jack Flash, a film named after a Rolling Stones song, which recounts stories of intense suffering only to come out stronger, and (2) Speed, a film about a bus that has been rigged to explode if its speed drops below 50mph. This also made me of all the references to Sydney driving and how this is a metaphor for her ambition and work ethic (see here) - could it be a reference to this drive also being a weakness?

Sydney talking to Marcus (1x08), after he compliments her for not taking a day off and getting right back to cooking: “I’m just the type, like, as soon as I stop I just *mimics falling apart*". Clearly, she’s experienced this falling apart before, but this is something we haven't seen on screen. We don’t know the timelines of Sydney’s business and exactly when it fell apart, but could it be that the collapse of Sheridan Road drove her to also collapse? (This is also the conversation where she explicitly says to Marcus "It would be weird to work in a restaurant and not completely lose your mind," but I think this is something different to her references to losing her mind when she's not working.)

Sydney talking with her dad (2x02), she differentiates The Bear from her previous business, saying: “I’m in a much better place than last time.” I found this choice of words interesting - separately, she mentions that she’s learned lots of lessons, and has a partner now, but the reference to a “better place” is distinct. What kind of “place” she was in when she started and closed Sheridan Road? It sounds like whatever her emotional and mental state was, it was at least a factor in her failure there. It’s also interesting that she didn’t mention this as one of the reasons for leaving catering when she discussed it with Carmy in 1x05: she didn’t refer to any personal factors, focusing instead on the logistical challenges (on her business getting too big too fast, and the difficulties of running it out of her garage).

Emmanuel to Sydney (2x09): “I know you can put a lot of pressure on yourself”; Sydney responds: “why can’t we put everything that we have into everything that we can?” And then, “I don’t know if I could do another one.” This exchange isn't subtle at all, because Emmanuel is a great dad and cares about his daughter, but I find it interesting how much he is focused on the pressure Sydney puts herself under; he's no longer focusing on the risky nature of the industry or her change in plan as he was in 2x02, he’s only concerned about her wellbeing here. We know how much pressure she is in fact putting on herself (to get a star, and to generally be the best) so could she end up pushing herself too far again?

Sydney talking to Carmy (2x09) in the infamous table scene: “What if I just, like, completely melt? Like I just, fuck up and fail?” Now, at this point, we haven’t actually seen Sydney completely melt. In 1x05 and 1x06 she handles crises at the restaurant like a boss and saves the day with her quick thinking, and even with the to-go crisis in 1x08, her initial response is to try to help - what makes her throw in the towel is Carmy’s attitude towards her. She could also be referring to the final pasta dish she did for Sheridan Road, but this also didn't sound like "completely melting" to me. I think she’s remembering another time here, a different memory that we haven't seen yet - or perhaps foreshadowing melting in the future.

I’m also interested in how the writers have made Sydney so similar to both Carmy and Mikey, two characters who we know have struggled with extremely poor mental health.

Now, Sydney and Carmy's clothes (think matching jumpers, uniforms, the Thom Browne connection - see post here), language (see this post), and even their names (see here) show how similar they are. This post, however, made me realise how much the writers have also made Sydney mirror Mikey. Maybe the writers are hinting at a similar spiral (although I couldn't imagine this involving drugs specifically, which is something we've never seen referred to in the context of Sydney).

When Mikey was spiralling, Carmy was away - he didn’t even know Mikey was using drugs, and he didn't go home in the immediate aftermath. Likewise, in 2x10, Carmy is (for all intents and purposes) away and unable to help Sydney when she begins to lose control of the situation. Just as with Mikey, Richie is the one who is available - and, this time, he’s able to save the day.

Generally, Sydney appears relatively stable on the surface, particularly when we compare her to some of the Berzatto family - but I think this is at least partly a case of her being a character who doesn't let her emotions show as much. My own theory for S3 is that the above is either hinting at a larger spiral for Sydney, or is some heavy hinting for Sydney's backstory, which I hope to God we get to see more of.

#god bless sydney adamu tbh #my baby #but i do think thinks will get worse for her #the bear #the bear theories #the bear meta #sydney adamu

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alans-maladaptive-daydreams · 2 years ago

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The monster living in my mind. Yandere!MC x Obey Me brothers.

I've always seen fics of the brothers being yandere, which makes sense, they are demons but I think I also want to see a bit more yandere!mc so I wrote this. I didn't put a specific brother because the use of pacts and magic is a bit involved so it affects all seven equally, feel free to imagine it with whoever you want.

note: I might edit it again later to change the gender of the witch, since I don't feel completely comfortable with the female gender for the lover, I'll see if I can do it another day (cries in college student) I've been doing this for almost 3 months now so I just want to finish it lol.

Warnings: Violence, mutilation of the human body (self-harm and injury to a third party), infidelity, mental illness, insecurity, and insults related to someone's sex life. (I think that's all if there should be anything else I will edit it immediately, suggestions are very welcome). No-native writing, corrections are welcome.

Reader: Gender neutral.

Genre: Yandere and explicit violence.

Masterlist

You had always managed to control those negative feelings that consumed your brain. Those feelings that made you think that the person you loved was betraying you, those same feelings that convinced you that you deserved it because after all you will never be enough.

Although you were a very jealous person, you rarely showed it to your partner. You suffered in silence and sometimes even other people paid the consequences of your moodiness and insecurities.

Your jealousy sometimes terrified you, the thought of ripping the throat out of anyone who had the slightest romantic or sexual interest in your partner was not uncommon in your head. Sometimes your brain played tricks on you, convincing you that you should make them understand that no one would love them more than you. They belonged to you.

You were aware that these thoughts were dangerous, you usually pushed them into the deepest and darkest depths of your being because, in the end, it was all part of your imagination and insecurities.

You had different partners, and none of them gave you a reason to distrust or get violent treatment from you. So even though you brutally disliked certain friends of your exes, you never said a word and preferred to ignore the violent flame inside you.

That was until you met him, a beautiful demon from head to toe who, while you brought out the best in him, he brought out the worst in you.

Many of your insecurities were drowned out as you moved through life together, yet they never completely disappeared.

The violent feelings became almost extinct, but they were still there, waiting to be fulfilled at the right time.

That's why you were visiting your psychologist almost daily, that violent insecurity resurfaced.

It resurfaced like an unstoppable flame, a bomb waiting to explode.

In a constant state of nervousness, your body trembled every time your boyfriend had an attitude that made you distrust him.

It started out as something you chose to ignore, but it never left a good taste in your mouth. All of his devices now had a different password than the one you knew.

When you questioned him, afraid of making him think you were invading his privacy, he simply replied "Security", you didn't dare ask him for the new passwords because you feared it would make you look bad.

Your second sign was his obvious nervousness every time he received a message or a call which, of course, he had to take in private.

It was then that you decided to blindly trust your boyfriend and avoid at any cost those thoughts that were taking away your sanity.

However things became more evident, from cancelled dates, strange looks at RAD, his brothers' nervousness when you asked for his whereabouts, his disappearance for hours at a time with ambiguous explanations. The relationship became weird, to the point that your boyfriend couldn't even look you in the eye every time you met because he didn't even have time for you, in his words; he had too much work to do.

That part of you that you thought you had buried was resurfacing, but much more violent, psychotic and anxious.

It was as if your brain was screaming at you in a loud voice "He's cheating on you, kill that slut so he can see who he's fucking with".

The thought of your beloved boyfriend with someone else disgusted you and made you completely sick.

It was then that something in you changed. You don't know what it was exactly, and you can't explain in what moment you started to think like that. It just happened, it was as if that sick and violent being that had always lived in you had finally found a way out, and you decided to accept it because, after all, that was your reality.

"We're demons, you're stupid for thinking he wouldn't cheat on you. "The demon mocked you as she showed you a video in which her friend, a witch, and your beloved boyfriend were the main characters in a sexual scene so repulsive that your stomach turned inside out creating a pain you never thought you would be able to feel.

With trembling legs and a broken heart, you walked to the bathroom holding back your tears and the vomit that threatened to come out. The demon watched you walk with perhaps the saddest look she had ever seen on you.

As soon as you entered the bathroom, you stuck your head in the sink, completely emptying your stomach.

Your cold fingers ran over the dark circles under your eyes, caused by sleepless nights of overthinking the whole situation. You reached down to your lips, covered in the residue of breakfast, and with a trembling hand, you stilled the sob of pain that shot through you like a bullet.

Tears soon overflowed from your eyes as your heavy breathing forced you to crouch on the floor, making yourself as small as possible, as if that way you could avoid the intense pain you felt. Your fingernails reached your scalp, digging violently into it, causing blood to slowly stain your hands.

"'Son of a bitch" you whispered.

You were going to kill him. Him and his fucking whore.

You were going to eat his brains while his brothers watch your feast.

Or better, you were going to rip every fingernail off his body, every finger, every tooth and make a beautiful necklace.

You'd open his head like a jar and eat his insides for breakfast.

You were going to tear him apart piece by piece. You were going to burn every part of his body that you touched until you saw living flesh.

Although you knew you were only a mere human, you also knew that the pact that bound your souls together was your greatest weapon. You were not the same human that had started the exchange program, you were a powerful sorcerer and you had seen death with your own eyes, you were not afraid. You were going to ruin his fucking life.

"Sometimes demons need a show of dominance to know their place, you must prepare yourself because eventually, that day will come". Your master had told you a long time ago. You never thought that day would come so soon.

You stood up and looked at yourself in the mirror, the wounds on your scalp looked deep enough for blood to drip down your face.

"MC? Fuck, I didn't know you'd get like that, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have shown you that." The demoness approached you with a worried expression. She placed a hand on your back to comfort you.

"No, thanks. I needed to see it."

Your cold tone sent a shiver down the girl's spine, without looking at her you headed for the exit and before you left she said; "Don't blame her, okay? I know you know her and you exchanged a couple of words. She's not a bad person, it was just a mistake."

"I don't give a fuck, he was my fucking boyfriend, she knew that." with that, you walked out of the bathroom and headed straight to the House of Lamentations.

That day you locked yourself in your room and refused to let anyone in. They were all traitors, they always knew about his affair with his mistress and didn't have the balls to tell you.

Every time you remembered how they told you they appreciated you and thanked you for saving their family your stomach would drop. You no longer saw them as your friends, they were just disgusting beings who needed a reminder of who was in charge.

For seven days you didn't sleep, you didn't go to RAD and you didn't eat. For seven days you watched your boyfriend's every move, his whore's every move. Every move was etched in your brain like a tattoo. You didn't need to think about it for a second to recite it out loud.

By the end of the week, everything you had been repressing and controlling for years had come to light. What you had always been was now comfortable in your brain, the insecurity was gone, but the violence was more alive than ever.

At the end of the seventh day, in the middle of the night, what you had always feared became your nature.

You grabbed your bag and left your room, leaving it secured in case any of the brothers tried to break in, a spell that would shatter any limb that even accidentally touched your door.

"MC?" you heard one of his brothers say, but you ignored him. You were too focused on your plan.

Behind the House Of Lamentations was the place where you opened a portal, one straight to her lover's house. You didn't hesitate for a second to walk through it, standing right in the entrance hallway.

Your ears heard what you had always feared.

The familiar moans along with a not-so-familiar voice. The sharp movement of the bed's wood.

The love you had once felt for him disappeared completely.

You walked through the dark house, trusting your hearing until you reached the door.

Before you opened it you contemplated all that you were putting at stake in carrying out your desires. You contemplated whether it was really worth it. However, that little spark of reasoning vanished as soon as it arrived.

You set your bag aside and opened it.

The heavy hammer saw the moonlight for the first time since you had bought it. You held on tight and opened the door.

If at any time your sanity was present during all that suffering, after what you saw that night it not only disappeared, you killed it and buried it deep inside your annihilated and diseased self.

Silently you approached him and the first blow was directly to his head. Knocking him unconscious instantly.

The whore looked at you with frightened eyes and screamed trying to get the heavy body off her.

"Do you like getting into other people's relationships?" you asked, grabbing her hair in a fist and dragging her into the living room.

"You're fucking insane!" she screamed as she kicked and struggled with your violent grip. You lifted her body roughly and slammed her against the hard wall, squatted down and with your hand gripping her hair you forced her to look at you.

"Do you like messing with other people's relationships?" you asked again. She tried to defend herself from you with a pathetic and weak spell. You laughed and grabbed her face violently. "That's your attempt to save yourself? You should put a little more enthusiasm into it, like when you spread your legs like the whore you are."

She perhaps saw that she really couldn't against you, after all she knew who you were and she knew that no one could control the seven princes of hell as easily as you, so she felt that her only solution was to kneel at your feet and beg for forgiveness, praying for sanity to return to your mind, for your humanity to win over that monster that had awoken.

"I'm sorry," she cried, her voice heavy with fear. "I won't get into your relationship again" she grabbed your legs begging for your forgiveness over and over again.

"I hope it was worth it," you muttered as you grabbed her hair again to drag her into the dining room.

"What are you going to do?" she asked between sobs still clutching your arm, in an attempt to loosen your hard grip.

"You'll see." you smiled as you picked her up and slammed her down on the table in the middle of the room, causing her bones to crack slightly. "Or you may not survive to find out." You placed a hand on her chest as she tried to get up quickly and with a simple spell you completely paralyzed her body.

Her eyes widened gigantically and as she tried to scream for help you pulled the rest of your things out of your bag.

"It's no use, try screaming all you want, no one will hear you."

"What the fuck are you doing MC?" The voice of the main character appeared behind you. You turned to see him, blood was pouring from his head and he was in his demonic form in all his glory.

He was the love of your life, but if he couldn't play fair you would have to get rid of him, and you knew it would hurt you more than him.

"Don't worry, you'll be the only audience to this wonderful show I call 'Whore Anatomy, for cheating boyfriends'. Sit down and shut your mouth." He rushed over to you, intending to stop you. "Sit down, and shut your mouth." you repeated in a loud, clear voice. The pact worked its magic and your boyfriend was sitting there staring at you with undecipherable eyes.

"You know I love you, don't you? That's why I'm doing this because I love you and you must not disappoint those who would give their lives for you," you said as you took different things out of your bag.

You looked at all your instruments and thought carefully about what to start with, the excitement made your skin crawl. You didn't expect it to be so exciting.

"So, that's why I'm going to show you that this bitch isn't worth what I'm worth and hasn't done what I've done for you. It will be…educational." your eyes sparkled at the sight of the sharp scalpel. You took it and showed it to your boyfriend. "Pick a portion of the head. Ears, nose, eyes…" your kind smile faded as you saw his expression of fear, your hand slammed violently against his cheek and you repeated. "Choose a portion of the head. Ears, nose or eyes."

"Eyes…" he whispered to your surprise.

"Wow, I didn't expect you to go straight to it." You laughed and approached the witch, who was silently praying. "Stop praying, hoes don't go to heaven." With your fingers you opened her eyelids and showed her the scalpel. "Eyes are a hollow, fibrous globe, we use them to see beautiful things and to see unpleasant things. Whores, like your friend here, use it to track down men in relationships and crawl like a snake to get some cock" you muttered as your scalpel pierced the socket of the girl, who was crying and trying to scream, or so you thought after all her mouth was sealed.

As your sharp scalpel pierced the socket, her quiet cries became more erratic. " Quiet." you murmured, trying not to lose your concentration. Your index finger buried itself in her lacrimal duct pressing hard in an attempt to pry the eye out as cleanly as possible. Blood stained your fingers and the witch's constant attempts at movement were beginning to annoy you. "Stop or I'll cut your fucking eyelids off."

When she calmed down, you took the opportunity to completely bury your finger in the lacrimal, practically ripping the eye out of its socket and cut the nerve that attached it to her body.

You looked at the orb with pride and showed it to your boyfriend. "I pulled it off pretty well, don't you think?"

Your boyfriend looked at you with a strange look on his face, one you couldn't quite figure out. However, the game had only just begun, and the excitement was altering every part of your body.

Morning came, and your boyfriend woke up to the sun shining directly on his face. He looked around when the reality of everything that had happened the night before hit him violently.

"Good morning." You smiled brightly. "Go get changed and make me breakfast, the ingredients are in the freezer." you pointed to the kitchen as you lazily flipped through the channels.

Your boyfriend looked around, everything seemed normal, as if nothing had happened. He was a demon thousands of years old, he'd seen and done some fucked up shit but what he'd seen you do surpassed anything he'd ever lived through.

He've never seen a human look so… happy while mutilating a living person piece by piece.

He had never seen your smile and gaze as bright as it was last night.

He walked over to the fridge and opened the freezer, finding his mistress's frozen head, along with different pieces of her body separated into containers.

"So? Any idea what you're going to make?" you asked as you sat down on the island with a quiet smile.

It was then that he realized who was in front of him.

The monster watched him curiously as they rocked back and forth gently, perhaps trying to soothe the voices that were tormenting their deteriorated mind.

He realized that he had never truly met the depths of your being, that your loving, human form was nothing more than a barrier to prevent the one thing you yourself feared from coming to light.

But now… you seemed comfortable with this new nature of yours.

Too comfortable for his liking.

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shackledkitty · 7 months ago

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Small (?) rant about Mob Psycho 100 and autism, because it's something I feel strongly about.

I just want to say before I say anything, this is just how I see MP100 in my personal view as an autistic person, and my experiences as an autistic person. So this is (obviously) very opinion based, something to keep in mind while reading.

I am someone with autism who, for the most part, used to feel a strong resentment towards myself being autistic. I was not diagnosed until my early high school years, so I just thought I was weird. No one really, ever, liked me in school at all, mostly because I kept to myself and aspired not to draw attention to myself. When watching MP100 a month or two ago, I could find myself really attached to the characters experiences. In my opinion, the psychic powers or telepathy is representative of a neurodiversity. This shows in how each person with ESP has powers which are different from eachother.

With Serizawa, it was the character in my first watch of MP100 that drew me in. He is a esper who found himself scared of how his powers would affect other people, especially people he loves like his Mother. Serizawa found himself staying inside and indulging in his interests all day. Even going as far as to never leave his room, because it's hinted at that he'd have breakdowns when leaving - finding his room to be his only safe place. Though he was easily manipulated into leaving his room by someone stronger than him, causing Serizawa to use an umbrella as sort of a comfort item. It's shown that he'd get extremely anxious without his umbrella during his initial 'fight' with Mob after he had it briefly knocked away from him.

Relating Serizawa's behaviors to my own experiences made me feel a lot more connected to the show in general. A lot of the time before being diagnosed, I knew a lot of people with autism, and a lot of these people were low functioning. In these people, I saw my own behaviors and, by how my friends at the time reacted to those behaviors, I'd associated them with negative things. Often times, so no one would see me exhibit these behaviors, I would keep myself in my room all day. Only leaving when absolutely necessary. Whenever someone would enter my room unannounced, and this is something I still somewhat do, I would make sure to put away anything I was doing as quickly as possible. Now going onto Serizawa's umbrella, when I first got diagnosed, I was using a similar thing when at school to help me focus. I would have to have a specific pair of fingerless gloves, or I wouldn't be able to focus. I got in trouble for this numerous times and no one ever defended me, eventually someone in my house threw them away without my knowledge. Serizawa as a character, in relation to my autism, I can see my own breakdowns and how they affect me in Serizawa's.

Mob is probably the most obvious character to discuss in relation to autism in MP100, and this is exhibited in the fandom beliefs of other autistic people as well. While describing Mob, I am going to seperate Mob from '???', because I feel that the '???' state can be used as a separate example for neurodiversity in this topic.

Shigeo as a character is presented as gullible, in this way you can see a similarity to Serizawa in vulnerability. Multiple times throughout MP100, Mob gets swindled by people; Reigen tricks him into thinking that he's a psychic (like Mob himself), the telepathy club -attempt- to convince him to join the club through multiple means, a girl tricks him into thinking that she has a crush on him (which he rejects), at one point - multiple people convince him that he's popular, a group of guys convince him that they're a girl writing a love note to him, e.t.c... I could go on and on. Due to Reigen, Mob is taught that he is to never use psychic powers against other people, a good message in itself: don't inflict violence against others. But this results in Mob bottling up all emotions (or times he could've used his psychic powers against others) causing his '100%' bar to steadily rise - always ending in some sort of emotional breakdown. Sometimes he acts in violence, but I think some of the easier to resonate with scenes are when he starts having an emotional overflow. For example, at the end of the first Teruki Hanazawa fight, Mob is not longer in the post 100% state and regrets using his powers against someone else: ending in him simply sobbing.

The way Mob shows a lack of emotions throughout the earlier sectors of the series is reminiscent of how I would behave. Mostly throughout my life, I would not start confrontations or show strong emotions. But whenever I would get overwhelmed or overstimulated, I would become easily violent and, like Mob, found myself unavailable to process what I was saying until it had already came out my mouth. I would only regret it much later, but even if I did regret it, I wouldn't let anyone know I did and the cycle would repeat.

To wrap up this post, I'm not saying that every character who is an esper has specifically autism. Some characters without ESP remind me of myself in elements like Reigen or Shinji Kamuro and there's some characters with ESP where I cannot relate any personal experiences with autism with, such as characters like Miyagawa in claw. MP100, as a show and manga, helped me realize that it doesn't really matter that I have autism. It's just kind of that thing that's just there and, yeah, it affects my life in important ways, but it also can have positive effects in some places. Like being able to survive down and write this post with the amount of dedication I had, because it's something I feel strongly about.

I fully welcome anyone to add on anything in relation to MP100 and neurodiversity, I would very much like to expand my opinions and hear other people's experiences with autism and parallels they can see.

#mp100 serizawa #mp100 #mp100 shigeo #mob psycho 100 #autism #neurodiversity

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apple-pie-1 · 3 days ago

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Ehy, it's me ch4osworld from ao3 and i'd love for you to write a general nightmare x reader. Like how a relationship with him would be like. Remember to take care of yourself and to take your time! Bye(⁠*⁠´⁠ω⁠｀⁠*⁠)

Nigthmere x reader headcanons list

If you are with him, it's only because you're meant to be. He can't help but to feel a weird connection to you and, without even realizing it, you become his beloved.

In early stages of his infatuation with you, he would be in his phase of “I hate this mortal”, where he is in denial, berating himself for even thinking of you in such a way.

He often crafts elaborate night terrors, just for you! He makes sure to keep himself on one topic for each of them but, for some reason, he never makes them too personal.

If you somehow manage to “befried” him, his initial state of shock turns into disbelief. How in the hell did you manage to do that?

At first he reserves his trust very sparingly, often distrusting you entirely. With time, he starts to warm up.

He would often visit you at night, when it's quiet, and he can admire your beauty. It's not often something physical he hunger for, but your true self. your smile, how your eyes seem to tell him so much by just one look.

If you were a painting he would admire you, study you, and take in every single detail until there was nothing more he could focus on. But then again, he would manage to find something else, in a desperate attempt to know you more.

He often finds a sick sense of comfort in your presence. He can't quite put his finger on it, but it feels familiar in some way.

Even if you're just a mortal, you're his. You promised him so.

When he metabolizes that what you manage to build with him is doomed to die with you, he is distraught. He always looked down on your kind, for how fragile you are to how you're destined to end at some point.

He doesn't care about your looks or about you aging and your body weakening. What he cares about is losing his soulmate. His other half… someone who manages to love him, the god and embodiment of negativity itself.

He wants, no, he needs you to stay with him.

And yet, at some point, he let you go…

Being in a relationship with Nightmare is no easy deal. But you manage to make it work… He would never forgive you for leaving him so soon, and he will always carry what you left within him.

You loved him, and he will never forgive you for it.

(you don't have to read the last part it's an author note)

I ask for forgiveness, my dearest reader, truly. Unfortunately ill thoughts began to poison my mind. They held me back. making me believe I was a terrible author and writer. but I'm trying to see beyond what I think, still my most sincere apologies. If you celebrate any holidays I hope this is a good gift. form yours truly, take care and remember that you are loved.

#undertale au #y/n x sans #sans au #ao3 writer #answered #answering asks #ask #ask box #nightmare sans x reader #nigtmare sans #headcanon #headcanon list

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ellequarius · 7 months ago

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Hey Elle…I’ve been having some trouble, I’ve become frustrated with these issues and I need some help.

My first problem is robotic affirming, I’ve robotic affirmed all day every day for at least a month now, I’ve played subliminals and affirmation tapes consistently for hours a day for at least a month now, and I see everyone say “just affirm and persist” well let me tell you I’ve been doing that, every single time I wavered I brought myself back and flipped thoughts. I even felt calm and told myself that I’m gonna wake up in the void and it still hasn’t happened, I know I sound pathetic and I’ve manifested things so easily in seconds or minutes or even days just by saying affirmations a couple times and visualizing and living in the end but I do it with the void and nothing comes, I’m not the type of person to have negative thoughts, I don’t really ever doubt what I’m manifest won’t come even now as I’m typing this I’m not doubting that I’m going to wake up in the void but I’m just so frustrated, I’ve lived in the end for weeks and nothing so I don’t know what to do. It went to the point I was saying my affirmation so much that i would just automatically start saying it in my head with even intentioning to but still nothing, I don’t even think I’ve just been there just not aware I just don’t know anymore.

The second thing is subliminals, I’ve listened to so many void subliminals and I think I started listening to the ones I listen to every day at least a month ago as I said, but there’s subliminals I’ve just added because I wanted that thing like a early package subliminals and that came so quick but not the void ones, I added a beauty subliminal and a hair subliminal and I’ve gotten results from both but none of the void ones. I used void subs and affirmation tapes over night and still nothing, I’ve been being positive and pushing away negative thoughts by not giving them the time of day or flipping them but still nothing, I’m so tired of nothing, I’m so tired of manifesting other stuff in minutes and then doing the exact same thing for the void and it doesn’t work, this is so tiring.

The third thing is hypnosis and my neck, so I had begun to listen to this hypothesis for a sleep trigger being put in my mind, the first two times I tried it I liked it and it worked well I didn’t know if the sleep trigger thing was working but I was relaxed when listening to the video so I decided that if reprogram my mind along with it so I go to do it today, and I’ve always had a problem with my neck, it’s like whenever i lay on my back to do meditations or what ever it will start feeling weird, it’s like the feeling of there’s something around it and the first two times I’d didn’t feel it much but what made me break down today was that it was overwhelmingly clear and I just couldn’t continue the hypnosis, so I don’t know what to do because when I tried it on my side I didn’t feel the affect nearly as much as on my back. So I don’t know what to do.

My final things are that I don’t know what to do anymore, I feel lost now because I keep getting angel numbers like 444, 888, 999, 222, 333, 777, and 111 but I don’t know what to do. I’m feeling lost and need help, is there any advice you have for me?

Hello!

I know exactly what this feels like, feeling like nothing you do works and wondering why you haven't gotten results yet. I notice that you primarily focus on the void state, however when you mentioned listening to anything other than void subliminals you got results.

My advice is to take a break from manifesting in general, it doesn't have to be too long, just enough that you feel ready to manifest your desires. While you're on break don't focus on anything related to loa, just take some time to enjoy life and just be happy for the little things.

When you're done with you're break immediately start working on your self concept. This helps tremendously with manifesting and the void. Keep on affirming + persisting + visualizing, etc... after self concept. You can do self concept for a few days or just do everything at once it doesn't really matter what order. Yes there might be some things that happen in your 3d that bother you but don't pay too much attention too it. Remind yourself that you can change your 3d with no issue. Listen to Edward Art + dream life subliminals on youtube, and remind yourself that you DESERVE your desires and nothing can stop you from getting them.

Since I know you focused on entering the void state and I can tell this stressed you out a lot when you didn't enter I would recommend trying to manifest your dream life using law of assumption instead. You can still wake up with your desires using that instead. There are many success stories of people doing this on @loasuccessarchive if you need the motivation! I might also be dropping a guide on how to manifest your dream life using LOA soon if you just wanna follow along with that too.

#loa #sammy ingram #neville goddard #edward art #manifesting #loa tumblr #success stories #loa affirmations #void state

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