#it just manifests into something controlling and overbearing | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ronearoundblindly · 2 months ago

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LEXI!!! I need your take on this! I love your every cevans + Bucky headcanons. I tune in every time. You just grasp the characters like no one else. I love your mind.

I saw this and thought it was funny

https://www.tumblr.com/autumnrose40/765173801720987648/omg-lol

How would each of the characters react to you calling them daddy as a joke? And maybe who would be into the daddy kink during actual sex? Like who would be into it.. or not all. Maybe some would only be into it if they thought the reader was so they would just go along but not get any real pleasure of it themselves. I GOTTA KNOW.

Love you <3

Link here. That is so sweet of you to say💜💜💜 I try really hard to differentiate these characters so that we continue to get the experience they are complete individuals. I'm glad it's coming through in the words!

Warnings for inference to smut and bedroom petnames/nicknames. Nothing graphic/explicit. Full disclosure: it's not my bag, personally, so I might not know enough about the 'daddy'-dynamic to be strictly fair here. As with all kinks, there are proper/consensual ways and there are usury ways they manifest.

Ari Levinson

In a surprise development to absolutely no one, oh yes, Ari's very open to it. However, he is 1000% not into infantilization. 'Baby' is a nickname only; he hates the idea of you behaving like a child or treating you like a child. Ari won't do it. (Sorry, I know this is a big thing in fic with him, but I don't see it.) He would enjoy playing it off in public, acting like it's a funny joke, and in private, he would enjoy the sexiness of it. Ari...doesn't exactly have endless patience. He enjoys the obedience that comes with using this nickname since you're normally saying 'yes' to whatever he asked about...plus it usually leads to sex. Duh.

Andy Barber

Even after having children, calling him 'Daddy' has a huge ick-factor for Andy--not even 'Mom'/you can say it without him cringing. If referring to him in front of the kid(s), he'll let 'Dad' slide, but still kinda prefers 'your father' or 'your dad.' There are quite a few reasons he's not comfortable with it, but most of them stem from his job and too much control asserted over various victims. Andy prefers independence and equality in his partners. He's less worried about bad things happening to you if you're adult, aware, and ready to defend your boundaries.

Curtis Everett

Turns around with an amused little 'what?' Gets flustered like the guy in the video. Maybe into it every now and then when things get super hot and heavy in bed, but Curtis isn't gunning for the title by any means.

Jake Jensen

So. many. giggles. Jake will play along but it doesn't fit him IRL. He's not dominant or overbearing or anything else 'daddy' sometimes implies; he doesn't even buy you that much stuff lol! I could see it being used in a smidge of roleplay, but otherwise, nah.

Johnny Storm

He loves the idea but hasn't really earned it, ya know? Like Jake, Johnny doesn't organize anything for control, and I'm sorry to point out but he's not exactly the type to provide much more than a body, some income, and enough emotions to get by as a partner. I get that sounds awful, but you know I'm right. Keeps the nicknames fun and flirty. They aren't TITLES, though, if you catch my drift.

Jimmy Dobyne

Why would you say that? Seriously, why?

He outright doesn't understand. Once you explain, he's appalled, and only if you asked consistently would Jimmy allow it. Doesn't do anything for him personally and isn't something he'd want his friends to know you do.

James Mace

Mace goes very quiet when you first say it, at most a smirk passes his lips. Once you two are home, he'll choose a moment (probably over cooking dinner since he can quickly change the subject if necessary) to discuss it. He's into it if you are (and only if and when you are) but not in public, absolutely never in public.

Lloyd Hansen

Oh, come on! It's practically a requirement, plus his legal name isn't all that sexy to moan in bed. 'Daddy' sounds muuuuuch better. (He's, uh, he's earned it, too. 100%. Just saying.) Lloyd enjoys other people seeing you call him 'daddy' too. Sometimes, he thinks that kind of submission and loyalty sets an example to the randos in his orbit. Very, very into it.

Ransom Drysdale

RoAR!Ran, in-story, has a fantasy that you/women would call him that--coughspoilerscough--but generally, I also see him as a fan of this nickname. Since he's meaner than Johnny, it fits better, though still relatively unearned. Ransom takes sooooo long to open up and connect with anyone that all it is is empty control for a while. It makes more sense that Ransom enjoys this in bed; he doesn't behave much like a sugar daddy or even a boyfriend in public.

Steve Rogers

I don't see a world where Steve gets the conventional enjoyment out of this as any sexual nickname. He's not fond of that kind of innuendo (or degradation) and will launch into a lesson on respect if he hears someone else use it. He isn't a prude so much as it doesn't fit, thus even if you are into it, Steve puts his foot down. Hard pass.

FRI!Steve might be fine when, and only when, he's a real dad. Little grossed out otherwise, but if you refer to him as 'daddy' to your child and then keep calling him that from time to time, he gets it. It's easier and probably slips out just like 'mommy' does for him. Should you say it while you two are intimate, he might ask if you think he treats you like a baby. He would never want to give you that impression.

Bucky Barnes

I could see both ways. Depends on his exact relationship dynamic with you and likely his mood, too. Bucky gets lost sometimes--in both good and bad feelings--so can I see him diving so deep into wringing you dry of passion and pleasure that he relishes the title? Yeah. Yeah, I can. He'd hold you so close as you beg for daddy, but whether you want him to stop or keep going is anyone’s guess. Bucky likewise can dissociate and shutdown to (how do I put this?) conventional humanity. It's not going to make him feel included in the world to call him by a fake title or imply that he is responsible for caring for you. That's overwhelming. Buck needs the simple life; he's just a man and you're just his girl. Nothing needy about it. He doesn't need to take over anything. He just needs to breathe and make it to tomorrow.

Thank you for asking!

[Main Masterlist; Who Would... Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

@supraveng @1950schick @patzammit @whiskeytangofoxtrot555

@yiiiikesmish @ashesofblackroses @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory

@brandycranby @buckysprettybaby @ellethespaceunicorn

@late-to-the-party-81 @bigtreefest @mistressmkay @astheskycries

@rogersbarber @blogbog710 @yenzys-lucky-charm

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hoodreader · 6 months ago

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astrology lyric breakdown ⋆ ˚｡⋆ ꪆৎ ˚

Love Drought — Beyoncé (Lemonade)

request for @bitdemonic | first verse & pre-hook

♪ Ten times out of nine, I know you're lying — his scorpio neptune in her scorpio neptune first house, her scorpio moon in his third house, his mercury conjunct her neptune, his third house containing neptune

she’s so intuitively in-tune with the thoughts of her lover that she knows when he’s lying. and he seem like he would try to lie or conceal a lot. this may have worked on others, but not a woman he has moon-third house overlay with in scorpio. she know ‘cuz she herself probably sneaky too, whole time.

this is definitely because of scorpionic, lunar, and neptunian energy combined. this is some of the most intuitive energy concentrated in one area. she know what he thinking even before he know.

♪ And nine times outta ten, I know you're trying

♪ So I'm trying to be fair — her libra venus conjunct her pluto; her libra venus conjunct his libra moon

fairness is ruled by libra / venus. and natally, a libra venus could be someone who really values fairness. although, in compromising situations, it can be prove to be more difficult. in a way that’s kind of un-libran, pluto’s presence could instead manifest as the native being controlling, overbearing, jealous, insecure, etc. but she’s trying. she’s trying to withhold this part of herself that may encourage her to sabotage. and this is on his libra moon too.

♪ And you're trying to be there… and to care — his libra moon quincunx his taurus saturn, his saturn in her seventh house

the quincunx is a minor aspect where you need to compromise between energies that are at conflict with each other. the thing is that both his moon and saturn are in venutian signs, but the expression of the venutian signs are conflicted. then the quincunx planets are each other’s detriments and in mutual reception (exaltation). saturn exalts in libra, moon exalts in taurus. so it’s about balance.

his libra moon is probably telling him to keep his options open, or to be evasive, to maybe tell white lies. but that’s not what saturn is saying. when we’re reading for marriage, saturn has so much significance because saturn tells us how we commit. taurus is a present sign. taurus is consistent. taurus is predictable. even though his moon might be telling him to evade… his saturn is telling him to not to.

his saturn is in her seventh house — a promising indication for long-term marriage. in fact, it also can be an indication of the partnership maturing them significantly (especially maturing the seventh house person). as we know, jay-z met beyoncé when she was pretty young & she’s been with him since then. he’s been “there” a long time, but he’s never really been present. which is also another quality of saturn — it can show distance. thus… he’s a distant partner.

♪ And you're caught up in your permanent emotions — his libra moon conjunct his virgo pluto

this is a loose-orb aspect, but i felt it was worth mentioning. someone with moon aspecting pluto can be so absorbed in their own emotional world, it makes them sort of blind to the emotional complexities of people around them. especially because this conjunction with his moon is happening in her twelfth house, another house of distance or removal, as this is the house of saturn’s rejoicing.

♪ All the loving I've been giving goes unnoticed. It's just floating in the air, lookie there. Are you aware? — his scorpio neptune conjunct her scorpio moon, his scorpio neptune in her scorpio first house, her natal twelfth house libra venus

there’s a lot of elusive energy with the scorpio/neptune/moon/twelfth house combo here. beyoncé — as a scorpio ascendant + moon and twelfth house venus — is deeply impassioned. in fact, the twelfth house is a house of service and devotion. but similar to service workers and devotees, they don’t really get recognition for the energy they invest in something.

so her asking if he’s even aware of her makes so much sense… leads to her feeling neglected. people who are always wanted take for granted the fact that they are wanted. this is something twelfth house venuses may struggle with.

♪ You're my lifeline, are you tryna kill me? If I wasn't me, would you still feel me? — her virgo sun in his first house

the first line ("you're my lifeline, are you tryna kill me? if i wasn't me, would you still feel me?")... it may be a bit of a stretch. but i just made the connection because the first house is the house of your life, in the sense that it's the house that is read for your first moments of life (birth) and your introductions to all things in life you experience. it's the most "you" house. and the sun is your vitality or spirit. her sun in his first... her spirit is so deeply intertwined with him, it could quite literally feel like he is her lifeline.

for the second part, i feel like her sun being in his first house shows that she kind of illuminates him. she brings that solar energy to his presence. so i guess i feel like she's asking... if i wasn't someone who improved your image; someone who made you look better... would you still want me? because she's BEYONCÉ GISELLE KNOWLES... super successful and all. "everything next to me gets lit up too," (i'm that girl) is basically this overlay. but if beyoncé was just a regular old girl, would that be enough?

♪ Like on my worst day?

♪ Or am I not thirsty enough?

♪ I don't care about the lights or the beams, spend my life in the dark for the sake of you and me — her twelfth house libra venus

the twelfth house is such a removed house. and this is someone who need love to be thus removed from public spectacle. the twelfth house is also a house of darkness. so i think this line explains itself. like i already addressed, he might be concerned about how the public receives his relationship with her. but she personally doesn't value that. she just wants to be with him, and she's willing to give a lot in order to keep him with her. (twelfth house = loss)

♪ Only way to go is up

♪ Skin thick, too tough

tips — $mooninfall on cashapp. 🌹

#𝒶𝓈𝓉𝓇𝑜𝓁𝑜𝑔𝓎 𝓁𝓎𝓇𝒾𝒸 𝒷𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓀𝒹𝑜𝓌𝓃𝓈 🌹#astrology #astro community #astro notes #astro observations #thoughts #beyoncé #jay-z #jay z

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bouquetface · 3 months ago

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Jack Harlow - Astro Predictions

I hope everyone just takes this as fun. I do not mean any disrespect in making assumptions. I am well aware, I do not know him or his life. Please take it as entertainment.

This is using a vedic chart. Predicting timing of life event (last section of this post) is using western & vedic methods.

I was going to do a personality and early life analysis but I feel I wouldn't be providing any new information. He's been in the public eye for a long time and has spoken about his life a lot. It would just seem like I'm noting down info from interviews. So here are some future predictions:

Spouse/Marriage:

7th H ruler (Jupiter) in 9th H - This shows the spouse is likely religious and highly educated. Jupiter being conjunct Ketu in 9th emphasizes she will be religious/spiritual. The nakshatra shows she may be in a scientific field and/or she will be a very analytical person - she gets to the root cause of problems. She might be a healer & highly educated like a vet, doctor, psychologist, lawyer etc.

Since he is famous, I kind of doubt it’ll be these exact careers. Her intelligence and nurturing/healing ability may manifest in her personality rather than her career. Homes (or working from home) & health might be a big part of her career too. For example someone in the fitness industry could be considered a healer. She could have multiple sources of income/jobs as well.

She’ll be a motherly figure to her loved ones. She can be constantly looking out for their health, promoting healthy habits. She’ll be a good planner/scheduler - ex: reminding everyone what needs to be done/what’s coming up. She’ll have a good memory as well.

She is likely from a different cultural background. However, Moon in DK in 4th H shows it won’t be something completely unfamiliar to him. ex: Meeting someone from the same nationality as you in a foreign country. Or meeting someone foreign in a place you’ve visited before. Or Dating someone from a different ethnicity but they are from the same country as you. There is both familiarity and newness present.

Her own families legacy and/or origins might be important to her. She may be the eldest child and/or simply carry the family burden to be successful. She will likely bring wealth or physical assets into the marriage. Venus in 8th H of D1 and D9 usually shows the chart owner will benefit financially directly or indirectly from the marriage. She could be wealthy on her own or come from family money. They could make money together - like famous couples who get branded together & indirectly or directly make more money that way - blake lively+ryan reynolds, taylor swift+travis kelce.

DK in 4th H shows the spouse will influence their home and family. She’ll take on majority control over all home matters - location, which home is bought or lived in, how the home looks, family’s daily routine. Virgo is mutable so she’ll be somewhat flexible but at the end of the day she wants control. Virgo influence gives a spouse who needs control to feel secure. She’ll know when and what needs to be done for the home and family. At times she can be high strung about this - ex: the type of mom to keep urgently reminding everyone they need to be ready to leave at 3 when it’s still 11 AM.

Venus in 8th h - This shows relationships being a secret affair. In some cases, this shows relationships begin and/or end due to cheating. This can show the wife can become slightly overbearing or controlling to the chart owner after marriage. She can be suspicious and possibly secretive herself. On the bright side in a man’s chart this shows gaining through the wife and possibly her family. In his case with Mars and Mercury in 2nd from Venus this shows possibly gaining land/property through the spouse.

& DK in a dual sign shows a duality to his spouse. In his case, she might show duality through being bilingual.

Duality shows the spouse isn’t as predictable & stubborn as a fixed sign nor will she be as compromising and adaptable as a mutable sign. She can be constantly switching from stubborn to relaxed - ex: for weeks she’s refusing to change her mind on something then suddenly she’s like actually yeah it’s fine or the opposite of this scenario.

Truthfully in his D9 (the chart that shows married life), there are some pretty big indicators for love affairs/cheating. So that dual nature may actually manifest as multiple spouses/marriages.

Timing:

It's kind to difficult to say when he'll meet his spouse since his SR are just so messy in regard to relationships. And SR depends on current location which likely changes often for him. So please rmr to take this entire post as entertainment ...

2030-2031/Age 31-32 - This seems like a year where serious relationship developments are occurring - specifically 2031. If he doesn't marry in this period, he could meet his future wife. Marriage / serious commitments seems likely tho.

2034-2035/ Age 36-37 - This seems a year where he is likely to have a child. However, due to MC & 5th H ruler conjunct Uranus in SR, it seems there is a shock factor in regard to children. The child may be a surprise either to the couple or the public. The shock to the couple could be there is difficulty in having the child like suddenly the doctors need to do a c-section. Rather than a child since he is an artist - it could be the birth of a new creative project. He might make a big move this year.

His first child would likely have prominent Venus in their chart - ex: Taurus or Libra rising, sun or moon. Venus conjunct ASC or Moon.

His third child is likely to have prominent Cap or Aqua (Saturn ruled) - sun, rising or moon.

If he does get married a second time, 2042/2043 (ages 44-45) is likely when it will happen.

RANDOM AF but Jack might have arthritis when he’s older and/or issues with his knees/bones.

Anyways if you got to this point, thanks and i hope you enjoyed it. don't take it seriously, it's all in good fun. wishing him the best tho <3

#astrology observations #astrology #vedic astro observations #jack harlow birth chart #jack harlow #venus in 8th house #moon darakaraka #virgo moon #gemini ascendant

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lullabyalikpoptarot · 2 months ago

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Seventeen Thoughts on Being an Idol

Alright ya'll it took me months to finish this. It has been in my drafts forever, so going to post this finally. I will say overall this isn't the wildest, but some interesting tidbits, mostly from the older line. The younger ones did not want to say much, so not sure how accurate theirs are, because I felt like I had to guess theirs a bit more and they were confusing. I definitely enjoyed what the older ones had to share though.

S.Coups

What he likes? (The Empress) His ability to create the life he has wanted. The ability to create beautiful things. To just show his creative energy. There are lots of seeds he has planted. It is like the fruits of his labor has been nurtured and flourished. Creativity just flows through him as an idol.

What doesn't he like? (The Emperor rv) I love how we got the Empress and now the Emporer here. He may not like the lack of control he has as an idol. There is a sense he likes to have control of things and as an idol it may be hard, there is a lack of strategy and planning there is that he may not like either. He may also not like overcontrolling figures in the industry as well.

What has he learned/experienced in the past? (7 of Pentacles) He has kind of learned that he is stifled a bit. That there is a concocted image of him. That he has to be a certain way. That things move a bit slow, or there is a bit of stagnation here. He wasn't able to build upon something. It is like he has to stay in line and in place.

Thoughts on fans? (Strength) Love this card for this question. He sees them as strong. It is like they are his strength. As you can see, the card is represented by a powerful woman, and many fans are women. So, he respects their power and strength. They stand by their group no matter what. They are a pillar to the group.

I feel like I liked his responses the best out of any group I have done so far.

Jeonghan

What he likes? (Wheel of Fortune) It gets him closer to his goal. It keeps him moving. Being an idol is a positive direction in his life. He is always growing and evolving as an idol. It gives him the financial security he needs. He seems to feel he is lucky to be in the position he is in.

What doesn't he like? (The Empress) Interesting card here. Weird message, but I am getting a feminine energy may steal his shine or take his creative energy. Also, his creative work may not get noticed at all. It is like he puts the work in, but it goes nowhere. There could be an overbearing feminine energy here too.

What has he learned/experienced in the past? (Page of Wands) There was a curious nature to him, a need for him to get out of his comfort zone. He may have played it safe, but no longer wanted to do that. As an idol he is able to explore new territory. He comes off as a very cautious, timid person, but there is a passion for him to try more and do things that scare him a bit, so maybe that is what pushed him to be an idol.

Thoughts on fans? (The Magician) He believes they are skilled and talented. It is like he manifested them into his life. Having fans that adore him is something he has wanted. They bring him a lot of confidence. He also enjoys communicating with them as well. They may also inspire him to create. They just make him feel powerful.

Joshua

What he likes? (9 of Pentacles) Independent freedom. His ability to make his own money and to be able to enjoy the fruits of his labor. To spend the money, he wants. He enjoys all the success and what he was able to accomplish as an idol.

What doesn't he like? (Knight of Cups) He may not like being vulnerable or emotional. He may not like being emotional available to fans or acting like a romantic interest to them. He doesn't really like to wear his heart on his sleeve. Although, I feel he is a sweetheart. He may like to keep things casual than act all romantic and emotional.

What has he learned/experienced in the past? (5 of Wands) That it is a dog fight out there. You got to fight and compete to get where you need to be in this industry. People will need to fight and compete to get their place in the industry. Also, there are a lot of people with big egos. A lot of battles and arguments.

Thoughts on fans? (7 of Pentacles) I find this card so weird for what someone thinks of fans. He may feel they keep him in a box, they limit him. It is like they have a concocted image of him. He projects a certain image, but can't be his true self, a sense of stagnation here. This is not my favorite card to get for this question, but it is what it is, still love you. This is only one card, so this doesn't explain his thoughts on fans as a whole, but it does say a lot lol

Junhui

What he likes? (6 of Cups) The loving memories of the past. This may have been a childhood dream of his. It seems he focuses heavily on the past though. Like he may have enjoyed the beginnings of being an idol. The freshness of it all. It is like this dream was passed down to him. That doesn't make sense to me, but okay. There is a strong connection with his childhood here, it makes him feel like a child again. Weird, but okay Jun.

What doesn't he like? (Temperance) The calmness, the peace and tranquility. This is weird, why would he not like this, does he prefer things to be chaotic and messy? The fluidity of it, once again, just the messenger, not sure what that means either. Dipping his toe into something but not going fully in, like he may want to go all out, he may want things to be a bit crazier and wilder. Like things are a bit too calm for his liking, really!? How? Oh man, love these weirdos sometimes. I say that with lots of love.

What has he learned/experienced in the past? (9 of Pentacles) That has to be independent and stand on his own, to make his own way in the world. He will need to be vulnerable and expose a bit of himself to get there. Not sure he means literally or figuratively, or both. To always look for his best interest and accumulate all he can.

Thoughts on Fans? (The High Priestess) Not the witchcraft, spells card again lol He may be into spell work, or he thinks the fans are. He may find they obtain lots of knowledge about him, or he keeps things from fans, and doesn't like to share a lot about himself. He may also find them very intuitive. They seem to have sacred knowledge. I wonder if he knows about Tarot readers that read for them. He may know about it. He might do protection spells on himself to be honest.

Hoshi

What he likes? (King of Cups) That he can show his more emotional and vulnerable side. That he can put it all out there. I mean the KOC's in this deck is bare naked, so he doesn't mind showing himself. I mean he isn't going to get naked, but just the ability to be open and vulnerable. It is like he can pour his true emotions as an idol. I guess if he wasn't an idol he may not be able to do that. It is like he loves to give his cup of love to others. He may also like helping others feel better as well. There seems to be a lot of depth to him, but not sure we see that, not sure why that came up, but yeah, now I am curious about doing his perspective reading.

What doesn't he like? (King of Swords) This makes sense with what he got for what he likes, it is like the opposite of what he likes. He doesn't like people who just use intellect, tact and logic. People who lack compassion and emotional depth. People who like this a certain way and just aren't open or understanding to other people's opinion. This got to be the higher ups or something. People who are just cold to be honest.

What has he experienced/learned in the past? (The Fool) That being an idol is a journey, and that one will make mistakes and look like a fool. It is all part of the journey. He learned to wipe the slate clean and learn to let go and start over. He also learned to keep things simple.

Thoughts on fans? (King of Pentacles) He feel very generous and appreciated of the fans. He knows he wouldn't be as successful without him. That all he has is because of the fans. He may feel spoiled by them. They make him feel powerful, abundant and successful. He sees that they pamper him a lot and maybe they give him lots of gifts. He feels they take good care of him.

Okay, love his energy, so far this group answers have been my favorite with this series.

Wonwoo

What he likes? (The High Priestess) Umm, this along with his thoughts on the fans gives me a weird vibe lol Once again, this card is a very ritualistic card in this deck, witch crafty and spell work type of card, so there is hidden knowledge he knows that he likes. There are like things he is privy to as an idol. Sacred things, sacred knowledge wtf is this? Is there some book of spells they give these idols wtf

What doesn't he like? (7 of Wands) To have to fight for his place on the top, or to compete, the aggressive energy that surrounds him, or people always trying to take him down. It feels like he always has to have his guard up and defend himself.

What has he experienced/learned in the past? (Queen of Cups) There is a loving motherly figure in his past that he holds dear, not sure if this is his Mom, but I figure she would be the Empress, so this may be someone very loving and caring in his past that may have helped him out. And gave him a lot of support. Not sure why this is significant though.

Thoughts on fans? (The Druid) He may like the hold he has on them, this also gives me ritualistic vibes. Are they taught to put spells on fans?, because I legit think some do, not going to lie, not going to share why I feel that way though. Like to make them love them and buy their shit, to make them money. I swear this is a thing idgaf. Anyway, this is how I feel here.

Woozi

What he likes? (The Moon/8 of Swords) Sweetie what is this? I feel he is also someone that escapes things and the idol life is a good way to escape things. There is a mystery to him, something he may want to hide and he likes uses the idol life to do that.

What he doesn't like? (Queen of Cups) There could be someone he is at odds with. Once again, getting being offered things, like drinks. This is weird having a queen of cups as a dislike, this is a caring and loving person. I am starting to see why I forgot him. It seems he may be hiding things. Because he doesn't really make sense.

What has he experienced/learned from the past? (Page of Swords) To defend his ideas or himself. Or that he has to keep some things to himself and not share a lot of information with others. To be cautious of what he says.

Thoughts on fans? (Knight of Pentacles) They bring him money lol They help support him financially. He is pretty matter of fact on that one.

Dokyeom

What he likes? (The Magician) He kind of likes the power he holds as an idol. He may like that he can manipulate things a bit. That he was able to create the life he wanted. He seems to like that he has the ability to showcase his skills and talents. To communicate that to the masses.

What doesn't he like? (Justice) He may not like having to keep a straight face or being stoic about things. Maybe he wished people were more emotional or weren't so matter of fact about things. That people play it safe and try to be too fair about things. I am confused about what this means to be honest.

What has he experienced/learned from the past? (10 of Swords) Lots of betrayal, hurt, pain, tons of mental exhaustion.

Thoughts on fans? (7 of Cups) They can be a bit deluded lol I mean it seems he had a lot of love for the fans. He may daydream about them. I mean, he himself may be deluded about fans.

Yeah, he didn't really want to say much, I get it.

Mingyu

What he likes? (Queen of Swords) I am getting the power of his words. There is something about being able to inform people of things, observing and gathering information. Also, gaining knowledge and experience through this. He might like how cut-throat it can be. It is like he has information to offer wtf is this? This is a weird message for a like. Okay, looking at his dislike, he may like that he stands above all the cruelty and cut throatiness by rising above it and observing.

What doesn't he like? (5 of Swords) The cruelty, harshness of it all, backstabbing people. People trying to break you down. A lot of nastiness behind it all and cruel words.

What has he experienced/learned from the past? (7 of Wands/Page of Wands) To stand his ground and be on guard. That he always has to defend and protect himself. That he should be cautious about how he proceeds with things. It is like he needs to keep himself protected. Abd also to protect his creative energy. Also, there will always be obstacles that may stand in his way, and that he should defend himself through these obstacles.

Thoughts on fans? (Wheel of Fortune) He feels fortunate to have fans. They help him grow and prosper. He would like to see continuous growth. They help him move up in life.

Minghao

What he likes? (Queen of Cups) Sharing his love to others. Giving light to others. Spreading love of some sort. He may also enjoy the love he receives. But he enjoys pouring his love to others.

What doesn't he like? (10 of Pentacles) Being a money maker for others. A money machine, a product for others. That is what he may feel he is for others.

What has he experienced/learned from the past? (Strength) To find strength within himself. To tap into that divine feminine energy of being still, patient and allow his intuition to guide him. To find self-love and acceptance. All the challenges he may have been through has helped him become a stronger person. He has shown resilience through it all. He knows the power within himself.

Thoughts on fans? (10 of Wands) He may feel a burden, exhausted. Maybe just all the energy he as to put into pleasing the fans. I don't see this negatively, just that he carries a lot of the weight, or pressure on himself to do well for the fans, also all the work he has to do to keep the fans happy.

Seungkwan

What he likes? (6 of Cups) The lovely memories he made with fans and the members. These are things he can hold on to. Lots of lovely past memories. Also, the ability to live out his childhood dream.

What he doesn't like? (Knight of Cups) I think this may have to do with drinks they are offered. Or people pretending that they care. People being fake and showing fake concern. Or that he has to pour a lot of his emotions to others.

What has he experienced/learned from the past? (Wheel of Fortune) That overall, he is fortunate and lucky to have what he has and that he needs to keep moving forward and pushing ahead. It is all about forward movement. I guess that is something he learned.

Thoughts on fans? (10 of Wands) Why does this keep popping up. They are burnt out and tired, maybe for all the concerts and performances and content they have to do, it is all draining and I guess he connects that with the fans.

Vernon

What he likes? (3 of Pentacles) Working with his members. Coming together as a team. That they all get along and collaborate well with one another. He enjoys the process of getting the work done with his team. Interesting like.

What doesn't he like? (The Sun) I always see this card as like the stolen youth card. Being treated like children. Not able to grow up and mature. Kind of being stunted in a sense. Maybe, not allowing his creativity to grow and shine and maybe flourish.

What has he experienced/learned from the past? (King of Cups rv) Emotional turmoil, the industry has kind of made him numb emotionally, to kind of learn to shut it off and be a bit cold. To not really show vulnerable sides of himself.

Thoughts on fans? (Ace of Cups) He has a lot of love for fans. Is he going to pour his heart out to fans, share some emotional letter? Not sure why that came up. But this card is about pouring your emotions and love to the fans. But he has overwhelming love for fans. Cute.

Dino

What he likes? (7 of Pentacles) I guess he likes being manufactured lol It is like he may like having a certain image and upholding it. Weird card as a like. This is about someone whose image is created by others and someone stunted. Maybe he likes being told what to do and how to behave. It is less pressure on him. This I don't understand. He may like the curated image he has as an idol.

What doesn't he like? (King of Swords) A stubborn person, I just heard ignorant, okay. Someone who can be harsh with their words, someone who lacks empathy and emotions. Cruel and cold. I am thinking this is a person, but maybe, people like this. I am getting stubborn and ignorant.

What has he experienced/learned from the past? (Justice) To be fair, logical and smart about things. To not get overly emotional about things. To keep a level head and to not get caught up in sh** or messes. I am getting stay neutral.

Thoughts on fans? (Judgment) There is a baby on the card, does he think his fans are babies? Or he may think fans will judge him if he tries to mature or do anything outside the box or if he steps outside of what they expect, he may think they coddle and baby them.

Okay, took months to finish this, but finally got it done. I say the older members gave me much more tea. The younger members were a bit more silent or just don't really have tea.

#kpop tarot #seventeen tarot

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tarotwitchy · 3 months ago

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Hi, you're one of the rare few people Ive seen do astro notes on parent-child synastry. What would you say a parents pluto conjunct the child's ascendant looks like? Specifically in virgo.

• PLUTO CONJUNCT ASCENDANT (IN VIRGO) •

When it comes to this placement in a Parent-Child synastry, you'd have to give back to the basics of how each planet (and the sign it's in) manifests individually and collectively upon each other.

A parent's Pluto in conjunction with their child's Ascendant always has something do with how the parent controls how their child presents themselves in public. In my opinion, this is one of the scarier aspects to have in a Parent-Child synastry chart.

The parent overly prepares their child on what to say to people, how to act, how to react, how to sit, how to eat, how to drink, and all that applies to public mannerisms.

Now, you may think, "well, isn't that just part of parenting? You teach your child how to build a public persona?" It is normal to coach your children. But with Pluto conjunct Ascendant, it can tip towards the minute things. There is a possibility that the parent may or may not realize their methods are overbearing, controlling, and that their word is absolute.

In extreme cases that I have seen in my public practice, I saw an 18-year old young lady still deferring to her mother on what to say to people when she's being asked about something. She'd look at her mother for social cues, how to react, what to say, if she should smile or not, if this is something she has to handle herself, or if her mother would take over the conversation. Pluto conjunct Ascendant is when the parent gives little to no wiggle-room for their child to explore their own space and public persona.

And in the case of this placement being in Virgo, it can even extend to the parent controlling what their child should eat, the quantity of meals, what kind of exercise and physical extracurricular activities they have, and even the kind of vitamins their child takes! (Yes, I have seen this happen). In the end, the child becomes either totally dependent on their parent, or they rebel altogether.

I suppose, a positive thing that could come out of this placement is if they have other strong positive placements to negate and sort of counter the effects of this one to a tolerable minimum—like Moon sextile Moon, or Sun trine Ascendant.

I've been on a two-year long hiatus, and I figured this could be a soft way to break that radio silence. And I hope this answers your question. Don't hesitate to ask more about this! I'll try my best to answer. 🙂

{masterlist}

[Do not repost, copy, or reword]

#astrology #astrology ask #astro notes #astrology notes #astrological notes #astro observations #astrology observations #astrological observations #astro community #astrology community #astrological community #witchy speaks #witchblr

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anakliro · 6 months ago

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In my narration, Solona and Hawke are acquainted and keep in touch. Leandra told her son that the Hero of Ferelden is "one of ours", i.e., she is an Amell, and since Garrett is also an Amell on his mother's side, this makes them relatives, even if distant. And considering that Hawke's family has been scattered across all corners of the world, there can be no “extra” sister for him.

Garrett did not hope to meet Solona for quite some time — it is very difficult to find a single individual, especially the one that is constantly traveling. But at some point he bumps into Alistair. And we can assume that if there is Alistair, then there is Solona somewhere nearby. Alistair tipped Garrett off about Solona’s approximate location, but warned him that she probably wouldn't stay in one place for long. And it turned out just so. Hawke couldn’t get to his sister in time, and when he arrived, Solona’s trail has already gone cold. Grey Wardens disappear as quickly as they appear, and most often they themselves do not know where their duty will lead them next. For a while, it was almost useless to look for either Solona, or Alistair.

However, eventually Solona found Hawke herself, without knowing it. Her investigation led her to a Grey Warden prison, where something big and powerful was being held, and it was bound by magic and the blood of a certain Hawke. And so this very Hawke, or rather his son, in alignment with the Maker’s strange sense of humor, appeared right in front of her that day.

And after a few minutes of investigation and identification, Hawke had another real sister. And quite a sister she was! The conqueror of the Blight!

They got along very quickly, Solona herself was pleased to expand her family circle, and her brother turned out to be a nice lad. Heavy-built, big-nosed, smart, and as kind as he is loud. And a mage, too.

They dealt with the Wardens and the Corypheus together then. After that, Hawke persuaded Solona to stay at the family estate for a while. Every day, taking breaks reluctantly and only, perhaps, to sleep, they talked. About life, about their family, about the events in the world and about magic, of course. Solona taught her brother a lot, learned a lot herself, and most importantly, agreed to get Garrett tattoos similar to her own.

He asked Solona for incantations to help him control magic better. Hawke is a collected man, but he’s passionate, temperamental, and his magic responds extremely easily to emotions, even controlled ones. Although Garrett had lived with this all his life and learned to control this feature, he was looking for an opportunity not to walk on blades every time he draws a spell.

Solona saw his magic in action. What impressed her the most was how powerful a force Hawke could deliver, and how little time it took him to cool off. How magic wanders around him at first, how the ground around him sways and vibrates, and before the moment of impact, even the air does not move. Such flow of magic is difficult to control, indeed, but Garrett was honestly doing great. Objectively speaking, Garrett could have coped without the incantations, but the Maker has gifted him the power, which, as Hawke thought, was exhausting him and which at some point might become overbearing and beyond his capabilities. He insisted, and Solona did not object further. On top of everything else, she also added strong protective and binding sigils to the whole composition. One to Hawke’s spine area, the other to his solar plexus.

Garrett was not mistaken in his decision. After getting the tattoos, he no longer had the feeling that his magic was trying to live a life of its own. It did lose a little in strength, but it became, let’s say, compliant. And thanks to that, Garret was able to further develop telekinesis, the calling card of the Amell mage sub-branch, which just vanished after first manifestation and returned to Hawke only rarely.

#hawke #solona #warden amell #dragon age #lore

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drgstrcowboi · 2 years ago

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dating Dallas Winston head canons: wholesome edition

in my head, Dallas is a classic scorpio man who plays tough but is actually a big softy when you get close to him

obviously, he's very protective and everyone knows that

but sometimes that manifests in unexpected ways like wanting you to call when you get home safe or reminding you to eat/sleep/take care of yourself

sometimes his protective side feels a touch bit controlling or overbearing, but he does it because he's terrified of something bad happening to you

he's incredibly touchy/physically affectionate in private, but not so much in public

unless someone else flirts/shows interest in you and then he has to make it clear you're with him by wrapping an arm around you

he was super private and even a little standoffish at first

but once he opened up to you, it was over. he would share anything and everything about his life and how he feels from that moment forward

underneath his tough exterior, he's actually really sensitive

he learns to recognize small changes in your mannerisms/behaviors when you're mad/sad/upset

"Why are you picking at your fingernails like that, Doll? Is something the matter?"

he also has a creative side, which most people don't know

he draws little doodles/sketches, which he loves to show you

"What do you think of this one, Doll? I think I'm getting the hang of drawing skulls!"

so you buy him a sketchbook or little notebook to draw in, which he fills with random doodles of things that remind him of you

even though he shows you a side of himself he'd never let others see, Dallas still has his faults

he holds grudges sometimes, usually over small things that don't seem important to you

his mood can change seemingly at the drop of a hat because he's always got so much on his mind

"Dally, why are you mad all of a sudden?"

"I was just thinking about that prick, Shepherd."

"Well stop it, we're about to have dinner."

when something's bothering him about your relationship or about your behavior, he's very direct about it. sometimes too direct.

"You know, Doll, it really pisses me off that you used the last of my favorite soap! That stuff's expensive, don't waste it!"

"Geez, Dal, I was just taking a shower. I'm sorry."

"Well, bring your own soap over here since you stay the night so much."

once you start sleeping over, he clears out a drawer for you in his dresser. he wants you to keep some essentials at his place so you don't have to leave so often

maybe he even goes out of his way to get tampons/period supplies or a bottle of your shampoo for you to keep at his place

he wants you to feel comfortable there, so he tries to find out what makes you feel most at home

of course you feel most at home wherever he is

but one big way that Dallas shows his love is by learning what makes you tick, even the smallest things you might not even notice about yourself

everything from how you like to be held, how you like your hair played with, what makes you feel safe, to how many times you snooze the alarm clock in the morning or which pillow is your favorite

and you do the same for him. he recognizes the effort and clearly appreciates it even if he doesn't say it

like how he loves having his head scratched when he's laying in your lap and how you scratching his back helps him fall asleep

Dallas has insomnia and doesn't fall asleep easy so he shows he appreciates it by telling you how rested he feels in the morning

he's not one for grand romantic gestures, but he'll go the extra mile if he thinks you want him to

he's really good at reading people, especially you, so he always picks up on when you want him to be more romantic or put more effort into things like dates

at the end of the day though, it's all the small things about him and all the small things he does that make you fall head over heels

#cowboiRX #the outsiders #dallas winston #dally #the outsiders dallas #head canon #dallas winston head canon #hc #the outsiders head canon #dating dallas winston #the outsiders hc #the outsiders hcs #i wrote some words #soft dally #soft dallas winston #dallas winston head canons

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praxieserver · 1 year ago

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🎹 💀🍎 for Azi 👁👁

AZI! For reference, this is Azi, full name Aziraphale Page (soon to be Aziraphale Page-Pearce). Basically I gave danwil an ambiguously gendered bird child. They use any pronouns so go crazy!

Now to the questions!

🎹 - Do they have any hobbies?

Wilson has probably played the violin for them, and they've probably asked him to teach them, so they probably play violin. Actually between the 2 of them, Azi used to be the only one that played the violin, but I also liked the image of Wilson playing the violin, so now there's 2 motherfuckers who woefully play the violin when they wanna angst.

Unironically probably enjoys reading. Not like as book connoisseur, but like. Just reading. For fun. She'll sit on and armchair and read the newspaper like an old man and go "Ah yes. Peak entertainment."

She does the usual Hogwarts shenanigans such as duelling, going into the forbidden forest, making a club to ship your teachers with, the works!

Lastly, he probably also cooks fairly well due to Daniel's influence.

This is all prone to change aince Azi isn't as well established of a character compared to Wilson yet, but thats what I have on them at the moment! :]

💀 - Does your OC have any phobias?

Again, core character aspect I haven't thought through that well yet. However.

She probably has a very strong dislike of the feeling of not being in control/having no agency. (Like father like son amirite guys kekeke—)

Basically intheir Traumatic Backstory™, they're robbed of their personal agency, denied of their humanity, played as a puppet. So after escaping that, she'll definitely place a huge importance in being in control. Thus they'd probably have a really deep-rooted hate of the prospect of being pulled along a string/being caged/being used. This sort of manifest in an interesting matter since they end up coming off as manipulative themselves. As a little kid it's more them bossing around their 'minions' so they can make their favorite teacher slash canon but it probably gets a little more concerning with age. Nothing that bad though. Probably.

I phrase it more as something she hates rather than something she fears, but I feel like she just hates it more than she fears it. It's something she's willing and ready to face, even if scary.

So, for something she fears more than she hates: Showing vulnerability to someone she trusts, but getting that vulnerability taken advantage of.

🍎 - What is the OC's relationship w/ their parents like?

Very close and very good! Because Daniel as a single father who is also a good father is super sexy.

Ok but in all seriousness, they love Daniel lots. They're extremely grateful for him since he's the one to save them from their abusive situation, so she's uber protective of him and wants to return the favor of Daniel taking her in and caring for her. In the "Hey! Only I'm allowed to talk shit about my Dad!" kinda way. She thinks Daniel's a bit overbearing (and to be fair, he is) but she'd sooner peck your eyes out for so much as breathing at him funny than hating him for it.

They have that Parent Trying to be Strict and In Control vs Silly Shithead Asshole Kid kind of dynamic going on basically.

With """""Uncle Wilson"""""" who is definitely not having a decade long will-they-won't-they dance with Daniel that Azi definitely doesn't see at all, they're a menace as a pair. A pain in Daniel's ass. And face. They've drawn on his face countless time while he's asleep. They're also a pain to house, having nearly burned his kicthen down multiple times.

Wilson is more or less the fun """""uncle""""" to them and she lets her get away with things Daniel doesn't. He's basically a second father to her and a part of the family. And in fact she will get him into the family by making him marry her dad. Modern problems require modern solutions.

#mail #ask game #harry potter magic awakened #harry potter magic awakened oc #hpma oc #aziraphale page

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prodigal-explorer · 2 years ago

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anaroceit week - day two - liar liar

@anaroceitweek

prompt: theatre/mistake

relationship: romantic anaroceit

word count: 4.4k

(cw -> disordered eating, punishing oneself, hospitals, fainting, cursing, extreme self-hatred)

---

Roman had a bad habit of equating his worth to his successes.

And his failures.

Though his dear boyfriends tried to be supportive, they could never be louder than Roman’s mind, the voices that taunted his ears from the inside. No matter where Roman hid, they would always be there. The only way to get rid of them would be to saw off his own head.

Wow. That was a macabre thought for 6am.

But laying awake in the dewy, calm blue hours of the morning was a typical occurrence for Roman. He often found himself unable to sleep very well, though his boyfriends’ sleep habits weren’t much better than his. The only difference was that Janus and Virgil tended to stay awake by choice.

Melatonin didn’t work anymore. It did at first, but now, no matter how many Roman took, he still found himself unable to sleep. His brain just refused to stop.

“I get that,” Virgil said one day, when Roman told him about it. “It’s hard to turn your mind off when you just need to get some rest. Wake me up next time that happens, okay? I can help you.”

Yeah, there was no way Roman was doing that and disrupting the little sleep that Virgil did manage to get. But despite this, he grinned and nodded eagerly. Because he was a disgusting, filthy liar.

Janus thought that he could always tell when Roman was lying. He prided himself on it vocally, which was something that Janus rarely did. He usually had a more quiet, refined confidence about him. Everything about him was understated and completely in control. He could make people do and feel whatever he wanted, as if people were ripples in water, and Janus was just running his fingers to change the currents. Roman lost track of how many times that Janus flustered him to the point where he felt like a pile of putty in Janus’ expert, gloved hands. But every time he thought about being in Janus’ clutches, the idea of being rendered helpless in Janus’ all-knowing eyes, made Roman’s heart flutter with adoration.

Yes, Janus thought that he could tell whenever Roman told a lie. Since he could tell just about everything else. But he was wrong. Over the years, Roman had learned how to bypass Janus, as expertly as a snake weaving through a bed of tall grass. It wasn’t like Roman liked lying to his boyfriends. He felt like the scum of the earth when he did it. But there was no other choice. He couldn’t stand to worry them, and Roman knew that if they found out about how cruelly his brain spoke to him, there would be trouble.

Especially from Virgil. The man was strong, wonderfully strong (though not as strong as himself, Roman liked to think), and he was very protective over his boyfriends. Roman and Janus both knew that Virgil had a tendency to spiral, his anxious thoughts getting the best of him. And that anxiety usually manifested into an overprotective nature similar to an overbearing mother. But Janus and Roman were the perfect boyfriends for Virgil in that regard, both of them being quite desperate for attention, fawning, and doting at any given moment.

Though all three of them weren’t perfectly functional in every way, they complimented each other beautifully. Roman didn’t know what he would do without Janus and Virgil on either side of him, holding him upright and being there for him when even his own mind wasn’t.

Which lead him to tonight.

“Oh, Roman, your performance tonight was spectacular,” Janus gushed, hugging his boyfriend close the moment Roman stepped out through the stage door.

Roman accepted the hug numbly, trying to hold back stubborn tears. How could Janus say that when everybody saw what he had done up there? Sure, perhaps it wasn’t an obvious mistake. Forgetting the words to a song for a second is an easy enough mistake to recover from. But Roman wouldn’t let himself forget. Not for the rest of the show, and not even after the curtains closed.

Whenever he closed his eyes, he just saw the moment replay as if it had only just happened. He had been standing before an audience of 500 people, all eyes on him as he stood under the spotlight, hyper-aware of how it practically baked his skin. The words he had been memorizing every spare second for the past month whizzed through his brain like a hummingbird flitting haphazardly from left to right to left again. Roman knew exactly what he was doing, and there were no excuses.

But when he’d opened his mouth, the words were moving just a little too fast in his brain. The lights were just a little too bright. Roman felt weak and faint, and as he looked around for Virgil and Janus in the audience, he made eye contact with both of them, frozen where he stood, desperate to just summon the words. He needed them. If he didn’t succeed, then what was all that rehearsal for? If he wasn’t perfect, then why did he even grace the beloved stage with his wretched presence?

He’d found the words eventually, of course. But the orchestra had to vamp for three measures. That was unheard of. And through his peripheral vision, Roman could sense the stares of his fellow castmates in the wings. Every single one of them knew that he had messed up, and Roman had needed to work so hard just to prove to them that he was worth being in the same room as them.

Now, all that work was for naught.

Deep down, Roman knew that it was unlikely that every single member of the cast saw Roman as a parasite who was beneath them. But every harsh joke they made, every narrowed stare and eye roll, made Roman believe that it was true, no matter what the actual situation was. The bad spoke a lot more than the good, in Roman’s opinion.

Roman could see that Janus was rubbing his back, and he could see Virgil’s lips moving, which insinuated that he was saying something. But his body felt fuzzy, like a blanket was covering it and keeping him from feeling outside movement with precision or accuracy. And his ears felt like they had been stuffed with cotton or pushed underwater, as Virgil’s words came out as messy, globbed up syllables.

But Roman nodded, hoping it was the right thing to do in response to whatever Virgil said. From the way Virgil beamed, Roman could tell that he had somehow, despite the odds, made a good choice, and Janus gently started to guide him out of the theater.

The cold air blowing outside honestly made Roman feel a little more human again. He could feel Janus’ hand on his back with a more solid sureness, and his brain was finally moving on from the endless flashback he had been enduring for what he assumed to be at least the last few minutes. But unfortunately, with this newfound freedom, his mind decided to move on to another loop.

You aren’t eating.

At first, Roman was a little confused. Why wouldn’t he eat? It was the end of a long show, and he was hungry. Besides, he was certain that Virgil and Janus had made him something at the house. They both loved cooking together and sharing their creations with Roman. Why would Roman deprive them of seeing his reaction to what they worked so hard to make for him?

But even with this reasoning, the demanding voice in his head stayed firm.

You’re not eating. You were awful out there. You need to make things right before you can have another bite of anything.

So that was that.

Roman wasn’t one to argue with himself for long. His gut was forceful, and it did whatever it pleased, no matter what all of Roman had to say about it. So when the three boyfriends got home and Janus offered Roman a steaming hot plate of fried rice, Roman played the tired card, rushing off and gulping down a large bottle of water before either of his boyfriends could hear his stomach growling.

—

Sleep was impossible in this state.

Even after popping four melatonin (technically, he was only supposed to take two), Roman found himself lying awake, his body wired and wracked with a strange sort of fear. As if he didn’t know who he really was. As if the person controlling his body’s movements wasn’t really him. It was scary, and this was Roman’s first time skipping a meal in a long time. What if something bad happened?

His stomach gurgled, over and over, as if taunting him. Telling him he couldn’t do this. He was going to get up and eat and be absolutely pathetic.

It was that thought, and that thought alone that kept Roman tethered to his bed, tossing and turning, and rendered unable to get a wink of sleep. By the time the next morning rolled around, Roman started to feel lightheaded from hunger and exhaustion, but in a way, it sort of felt good. When Roman realized this, he felt sick, despising himself for thinking such a wicked thing. How was destroying his body and his habits good in any capacity?

It wasn’t good, but Roman walked past the kitchen, not even stopping for a drink of water. It wasn’t good, but Roman walked out of the door to go for his run without looking back. He’d never run hungry before, but that didn’t stop Roman from pushing himself to the limits, pushing through the air with such speed that it started to sting his skin.

And for a moment, Roman felt like he was flying. Maybe he was. The area around him was hazy, and that was when Roman realized that he’d forgotten to put his contacts on. Oh, well. He didn’t deserve pretty scenery anyway.

Roman’s stomach twisted as he ran and ran, his muscles trembling with fatigue by the time he made it back to the house. By now, he knew that Janus and Virgil were usually awake, so he had to go about this carefully.

“Hey, Ro, you sleep well?” Virgil asked, approaching Roman as he came in through the door, pressing an ever-gentle kiss to his collarbone.

“Yep, I slept great!”

Roman fucking hated himself when his voice cracked. But miraculously, Virgil didn’t seem suspicious.

“Jan’s making protein waffles. You’re gonna need a lot of strength for today.”

Roman nodded. Not only did he have a show tonight, but he also was planning on helping his brother move into his new apartment.

But when Roman thought of bringing a waffle to his lips, of ingesting it and having it sit in his stomach, he felt disgusting. That would remove all the progress of the previous night. It would make it all for nothing. He had to keep this going and see how long he could hold out. If he couldn’t even last one full day, then was he really worth anything?

“Sorry, I’d better get going early,” he said, ruffling Virgil’s hair and going into the kitchen to hug Janus. “Remus will want me there bright and early so we can finish unloading before call time. I’ll eat with him.”

Clearly, miracles were possible, because Janus believed Roman’s bold-faced lie. Remus was probably still asleep right now, and would be for the next two hours. So when Roman pulled his hair up into a bun and slid on his sneakers, guilt clawed at his chest as he thought about his two oblivious boyfriends, not knowing that Roman was only leaving to avoid the food that was being made at the house.

Roman didn’t even take the car. He ran. His lungs burned, and the flying feeling wasn’t as exciting this time. Now, it felt more scary. It felt like Roman didn’t have any control over his limbs, and being unable to feel the ground beneath him, Roman worried that he might hurt himself. But he pressed on. He had to be strong enough. It was just running. It was nothing bad or impossible. He did this every single morning.

Remus’ apartment was on the other side of town, so it took half an hour for Roman to run all the way there, even when he refused to rest or take any breaks. By the time Roman made it to the complex, his heart felt like it would explode out of its chest, and his legs felt like they were still running, even when they weren’t moving anymore. Shakily, Roman stumbled over to the nearest bench, sitting down and finally letting himself relax.

“Ro! Hello?? Roman? Can you hear me?? C’mon, don’t pretend to be asleep just to ignore me, that’s my thing!”

Roman blinked awake, not even realizing he had fallen asleep until he noticed how he was lying down on the bench, his face and stomach facing upwards. Remus’ gray-green eyes, glinting with mischief, were staring down at him.

“What’re you up to, Sleeping Beauty?” Remus teased. “Why are you here so early?”

“I just felt like surprising you?” Roman lied weakly.

Remus quirked his eyebrow, clearly doubtful, but he didn’t say anything more about it, hauling Roman to his feet and opening the trunk of his rusty old pickup truck.

“It’s not a lot of boxes, but it’s enough to be a pain in the ass,” Remus reported. “I’m glad you’re here. If I had to move all these all by myself, I’d go insane.”

Roman could still feel his muscles quivering, but he forced a smile and nodded. It was just a bunch of boxes. How hard could it be?

The sun was blazing hot, and the sweat dripping down Roman’s body started to cling and stink. Annoyed with himself, Roman realized that he had forgotten to wear deodorant. At least he was in his brother’s company. As sweaty as Roman smelled, it was highly likely that Remus stunk even worse. Every so often, Roman had to pause, put down the box he was holding, and wipe his palms and forehead with his shirt, just to keep himself from losing his grip on any of Remus’ possessions.

And as Roman took each trip to the apartment lobby, going up the elevator to the ninth floor and then going back down and towards the pickup truck again, each box started to feel heavier and heavier. Roman knew he was decently strong. He could lift both of his boyfriends, and usually, he was the one in charge of moving heavy things around in the house.

But today, everything was taking more and more effort. Regardless of the horror pooling in Roman’s chest, he kept going. He had to convince Remus that everything was okay, and he had to convince himself that everything was okay. He could survive without food. Lots of people did it. Once Roman couldn’t hold out anymore, he would tap out. But he couldn’t stop playing this twisted game with himself. A test of survival. Only the strongest could win, and Roman intended on winning.

Finally, the twins were nearing the end of the unloading process. Roman picked up the third-to-last box, and started to walk, sighing with relief as the cold, air-conditioned air hit him. He started to feel strange and fuzzy as he got off the elevator, walking down the plush, carpeted hallway to get to Remus’ apartment. His hands were numb, and he found that he couldn’t control how they held onto the box. And then, the box started sinking.

Even though the apartment was cool, Roman started to feel very, very hot. He wiped the sweat off his forehead with his shirt again, and set down the box, leaning against it and struggling to catch his breath. But as he tried to get up, Roman realized that he couldn’t. Every limb felt like it was being pushed down by a metal blanket, too heavy for him to effectively resist against. And his mind soon grew as numb as his hands as his vision blurred, and it was harder to hear.

The last noise Roman recalled was the beeping of the elevator climbing up and down floors. And then, he closed his eyes. Just to rest them.

Just to rest them.

—

The first noise Roman recalled upon waking up was a sound that made Roman want to curl up under the covers and hide once again.

It was the unmistakable sound of Virgil sobbing into his hands.

Blinking, Roman tried to get a feel for where he was. Everything was bright and cold and strange. And white. Strikingly white.

“Am I dead?” Roman asked himself, and he heard laughter beside him.

Snapping his head as quickly as he could, Roman found himself face to face with a laughing Janus and a teary-eyed Virgil. Remus was talking to a tall woman wearing a white coat. Roman wondered what they were talking about.

“You’re not dead, you silly goose,” Janus said affectionately, “But you almost were. Do you know what’s going on right now, Ro?”

“How should I?” Roman asked dumbly. “I just woke up.

Virgil took a deep, shuddering breath, and then, he started to explain.

“You passed out. Right in the middle of the hallway. Remus freaked out and tried to wake you up, but nothing was working. So he called 911, and, well, I guess we’re all here now. The doctors aren’t sure what happened. One thinks it’s heatstroke, while the other thinks it’s something to do with malnutrition, but-”

Fear struck through Roman’s heart, making him shudder from top to bottom.

“It was probably heatstroke,” he interjected abruptly, his words falling on top of each other in their haste. “It was hot outside, and I was dumb. I didn’t bring enough water.”

“Couldn’t you have gotten some while you were eating with Remus?” Virgil whispered. “Why didn’t you?”

Because he didn’t eat with Remus.

Unfortunately, Remus heard this piece of the conversation and wandered over towards the bed Roman was propped up in, the woman in the coat trailing behind.

“What’s he talking about?” Remus asked with a slight scoff. “We haven’t eaten together since we graduated. You’re always whining about how messy I am.”

“What?”

Janus’ eyes widened, and he turned to face Roman with intense ferocity.

“You didn’t eat with Remus today? Then- why did you say you would?”

Roman scrambled to come up with an acceptable response.

“It just slipped my mind! I fell asleep and-”

“You fell asleep?” Virgil whispered. “But you told me you slept really well last night.”

“Sometimes- a…a prince needs-...more beauty rest…?”

The desperation in Roman’s voice was giving him away. Virgil let out a tearful scoff and took a few steps away from the bed.

“I can’t even look at you right now,” Virgil muttered, his teeth grit.

“I just don’t understand!” Janus outburst, “Why did you lie to us, Roman? What the hell is this whole story about? You leave at seven in the morning, and you don’t even eat with Remus?”

“You left at seven?” Remus asked, his eyes widening. “I didn’t get there until noon! I told you I would be there at noon at the earliest. Why did you-”

Roman hadn’t even realized that he had been asleep on the bench for that long.

“Another lie!” Janus exclaimed with a bitter laugh. “Another. Lie. Roman, you’d better come clean and do it now. Unless you just want me to assume the worst, which is getting easier and easier to do with each passing second.”

Something broke inside Roman’s mind like a dam. Janus had set him off.

“Oh, you want the truth?” Roman asked with a loaded laugh that made Janus shudder. “I’ll tell you the truth.”

Immediately, Janus intertwined his fingers with Virgil’s, squeezing his lover’s hand gently. Roman’s heart ached for both of them, but he also felt a strange sort of reverie. He didn’t regret a single thing he’d done, except pass out in front of Remus. If he’d only waited until he was out of sight to let his body give out, then maybe he would have been able to hold on for a little longer. Maybe he would have been able to get closer to winning the game, and finally making up for how much of a failure he was.

“I didn’t want your waffles,” Roman said, his words clipped and almost hostile. “I didn’t want to eat anything. I needed…I needed to prove myself. Last night can never happen again. I need more discipline. I need to be more successful.”

“But Roman, you fell asleep before you could even have dinner last night,” Janus said. “Why would you go for even longer without eating?”

“Because I have to!” Roman shouted, starting to laugh. Suddenly, all of this felt very funny. “I have to beat this game! If I do, then I’ll get forgiven! I won’t have to think about what happened last night anymore because I’ll know I’m strong! Come on. You can’t tell me you’ve never thought about it. Pushing yourself to the limit to see how far you can go. Don’t treat me like I’m some sick freak just because I’m stronger than all of you combined!”

“Roman, you sound insane,” Virgil whispered, his voice wavering. “Did you even have lunch yesterday?”

“A light brunch,” Roman mumbled. “It was all we had time for before rehearsal.”

“Great,” Janus said, cutting through the awkward silence that had been created as a result of Roman’s gut-wrenching answer. “You’ve been starving yourself for almost an entire day because- you’re playing a game with yourself? How can you say all this and then expect me not to think you’re going crazy?”

“All because you messed up a little line in your little play?” Virgil added, his voice still quiet. “Why are you killing yourself because of one mistake?”

“Because I had no excuse!” Roman cried out. “I worked for weeks on that show. I made sure everything was perfect right down to the letter, and on the one day where it mattered more than anything, I messed up. It was pathetic.”

“It was not pathetic,” Janus insisted. “It was human. If you’re starving yourself over making such a small mistake onstage, how do you handle it when you fuck up big time?? How long have you been hiding this game from us??”

“This is my first time with the eating thing,” Roman mumbled, his face burning with indignation. He hated being talked down to like he was a child. “Usually, I take away other things. I go on my run barefoot. I don’t let myself drink water during rehearsal. You don’t get it because you’re perfect, but I need these games. I need to win to feel like I’m worth…something.”

“If I may interject…”

The woman in the coat showed Roman her nametag. It read Dr. Andy. Roman wondered if Andy was her first name or her last name, but he thought it best not to ask at this moment.

“It sounds like you have some obsessive compulsions,” Dr. Andy said softly, her voice carrying not a hint of judgment. “You seem to feel a need to punish yourself whenever you make a mistake. Is that correct?”

“That’s what I just said,” Roman muttered, rolling his eyes with what he knew was the utmost immaturity. He was too tired to care.

“Well, yes,” Dr. Andy continued, “And these games, as you describe them, all risk your physical wellbeing. When did you start doing this?”

“I don’t remember a time when I didn’t,” Roman said, keeping his gaze fixed on one of the metal rods below the hospital bed. “My earliest memory was tearing up all my shirts when I get yelled at by my mom for…I don’t even know what for.”

“She thought you were just throwing a temper tantrum,” Remus whispered. “So did I.”

“But it wasn’t,” Dr. Andy said. “It was a ritual. You put yourself through these things because of some subconscious superstition buried in your complicated, obscure mind. A lot of people have this problem, more than you know. Not all eating disorders come from body image issues.”

“Hold on, this isn’t an eating disorder,” Roman interrupted, sitting up in the bed. “I skipped two meals. That doesn’t mean anything.”

“Well, the way you snuck around and lied about all of this suggests that you’ve done this sort of thing before, even if you say you haven’t,” Dr. Andy explained. “Perhaps you blocked it out of your memory in childhood. Or you did it during college without realizing it. These things can build up into something dangerous if you don’t put a stop to it while it’s still growing.”

“Whatever,” Roman scoffed, “It wasn’t dangerous. I just fell asleep for a few minutes because it was hot out.”

“Roman…” Remus spoke gravely, which was very atypical of him. “You were asleep for two days.”

Two days. Two days??

“You mean I missed yesterday’s show??” Roman demanded, “Why didn’t you wake me up?? Why didn’t anybody-”

“You think we didn’t try that?” Janus asked. “This is a medical emergency, Ro. Even if we did manage to wake you up, I would not feel comfortable sending you onstage in this state. Your blood sugar’s low, you’re weak. You know you can’t do this sort of thing in your condition.”

Roman stopped speaking. He stopped fighting. It was four versus one, and frankly, Roman was too tired to keep retaliating and battling. He just let the words wash over him.

Worried.

Terrified.

Therapist.

Treatment.

Supplements.

Monitor.

Watch.

Meal Plan.

Roman wanted to die. Why did Remus have to call 911? Why didn’t he just leave Roman in the hallway??

“Roman, baby, please don’t cry,” Virgil whispered.

“What are you talking about?” Roman asked, bringing a hand to his face. “I’m not-”

A fat teardrop splashed onto Roman’s fingernail, proving him wrong.

“Darling…” Janus’ previously stern voice gave way for something much more nurturing as he held Roman in his arms, cradling the man back and forth awkwardly. “We’re going to work on this. All three of us are going to help you, Roman. We don’t want to see you in pain. We don’t want to see you being punished, even if you think you deserve it. We want to help. We all…just want to help. All you have to do is let us.”

“Okay…” Roman whispered, and as Virgil hugged him from his other side, he finally let himself sob. “Okay.”

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truearchangel · 3 months ago

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@alteregozowie:

Alastor knows Michael is busy with paperwork, he knows this and he still manifests in his room. He saunters over, hands behind his back, creeping up to him- but making himself known at the same time, because he knows now not to actually sneak up on a soldier of God.

He's determined to get affection, so he crouches next to his desk peering over the side at what he was doing. Waiting, waggling his ears. Then he tries to headbutt his way into crawling into his lap, size difference be damned, he was focused on sitting in his lap. Nuzzling and awkwardly trying to situate himself.

The Radio Demon was being quick obnoxious about it too.

He’s in their room, as much as it can be their room. It was more like Michael just started living in here rather than just going back to his own. Not that he lived in that either. Floating between spaces was a difficult situation, not quite one home for certain and not quite another he was invited into. Lost, was perhaps a more apt term. Not quite homeless, his home was just somewhere entirely different. Much further away and yet not a place he felt he belonged quite either. Not that any of that mattered currently.

Michael struggling to find his place didn’t change what he was currently doing, what he always did. Handling Heaven’s affairs and trying to be useful to a place he couldn’t bring himself to return to yet. The more paperwork they dropped on him, the harder he tried to get through it, the more difficult he found things to be. The longer he was down here the more out of touch he found himself with whatever was going on in Heaven. Though he could get through the paperwork still, the things that sometimes rolled across his desk looked concerning.

It does bother him to not know what’s going on up there. In fact, he quite heavily detests not knowing the situation in Heaven. What his brothers were doing but especially if they were alright or not. Part of him strongly hopes they reach out to him if something goes wrong, but another part worries they’re happier without him up there. Without the controlling, micromanaging, overbearing big brother around. And that thought was as upsetting as it was understandable.

The paperwork with his mental thoughts wasn’t going very well. He’s accomplished very little and only frustrated himself with what he’s tried to get done. Today was not a good idea and he wasn’t sure tomorrow would be either. He was starting to worry about his lack of progress in Hell on top of everything else he already worried about constantly.

The fact he’s interrupted is almost a relief.

He catches sight of Alastor’s head against the desk the demon allows him to use, and then those twitching ears that were so close to his own body. He spares the demon a brief glance over his paperwork and then tried to go back to what he was doing, assuming he’d vocalize what he wanted from the Archangel. However, apparently we’re not using our words today for some reason.

The hand holding his pen is knocked with the uncomfortable scrapping of a set of antlers against his arm. His attention again returns to the Radio Demon and before he can process what Alastor is doing, he soon finds the other crawling up his chair and into Michael’s own lap. A rather interesting, awkward, uncomfortable and strange turn of events. Their height different had to make this look absolutely ridiculous.

With little other choice he moves his arms to give Alastor access and eventually settles them along his waist. “What are you doing? You’re going to be so uncomfortable.”

#alteregozowie #○ — 「 asks 」 prayers answered.#○ — 「 verse 」 the sword of god.

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phoebe1013 · 4 months ago

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the Twelfth Doctor from Doctor Who being extremely obsessed with you Headcanons

🧠 Hyperfixation on You

Mentally Consumed by You: The Twelfth Doctor, known for his sharp intellect and restless mind, would find himself constantly thinking about you. He can’t concentrate on his usual Time Lord duties because his thoughts always drift back to you. You become the focus of his endless curiosity and fascination, a puzzle that he can never stop trying to solve.

Studying You: The Doctor would pay attention to every little thing about you—your habits, your likes and dislikes, the way you speak. He'd analyze everything, from your body language to the way you smile, storing it in his Time Lord brain like vital information. He knows your routines better than you do, and he makes sure to always be one step ahead of your needs.

🌌 Possessive Protector

Overbearing Protectiveness: The Doctor would feel an overwhelming need to protect you, not only from external threats like Daleks or Cybermen but even from everyday dangers in your own life. His obsession manifests in his constant hovering, even when there’s no real threat. If you so much as stubbed your toe, he'd rush in with his sonic screwdriver, determined to fix it.

Isolation for Safety: Believing no one else can truly protect you like he can, the Doctor would subtly push others away from you. "They don't understand the danger like I do," he’d tell you in his gruff voice, his intense stare unwavering. He’d justify it as keeping you safe, but in truth, it's because he can't bear the thought of you being too close to anyone else.

⏳ Time Manipulation for Control

Master of Time, Master of You: The Twelfth Doctor might use his control over time to keep you close. If you ever tried to leave, or if something didn’t go the way he wanted, he’d quietly manipulate time so that events always led back to him. He wouldn’t be open about it, but you’d notice strange things happening—time loops or déjà vu, all with the purpose of keeping you at his side.

Keeping You by His Side Across Time and Space: The Doctor would always offer to take you anywhere in the universe, but every trip subtly revolves around him, trapping you within his world. Even though he offers you freedom, it’s only the illusion of it, because wherever you go, he’s always there, ensuring you stay within his orbit.

🌀 Emotional Control

Emotional Whirlwind: The Twelfth Doctor isn’t one to wear his heart on his sleeve, but for you, his emotions would be a whirlwind. He swings between gruff, distant affection and intense, raw emotion that he struggles to contain. He often says things like, "I'm not good at this sort of thing," but his actions scream obsession—his inability to leave you alone, the way he watches you with those sharp, ancient eyes.

Emotional Manipulation: While the Doctor cares deeply for you, he may use emotional manipulation to ensure you stay with him. He’s a master at playing on your fears or emotions, using guilt or his own vulnerability to make you feel like leaving him would be catastrophic for both of you. “I don’t do well alone,” he’d say, eyes soft but intense. “Don’t make me go back to that.”

🔮 Dangerous Attachment

Fiercely Jealous: The Twelfth Doctor’s jealousy would be simmering and dangerous, though not always obvious. He wouldn’t confront others directly, but you'd sense a coldness in him whenever anyone else got too close to you. His sarcastic remarks might have a sharper edge when directed at people he perceives as threats. He may not say it out loud, but you can feel his territorial nature growing stronger.

Unspoken Possession: The Doctor would never say that he owns you, but in his mind, you're his. He sees your relationship as something beyond the ordinary bounds of time and space—infinite. Anyone else who tries to get close to you is just an obstacle, and he would make sure those obstacles are quietly removed, sometimes without you even knowing.

🛠 Constant Presence

Always There: You'd notice that the Doctor always seems to be around, even when you didn't expect him to be. He'd show up at your door, "just checking in" or “passing by,” though it’s clear he’s been keeping tabs on you. There’s an unsettling sense that he’s always watching over you, either in person or through the TARDIS’s surveillance capabilities.

Monitoring Everything: The Doctor would use the TARDIS’s advanced technology to monitor your every move, not in an overtly creepy way, but always under the guise of protecting you. He’d know where you are, what you’re doing, and even how you’re feeling, often before you do. You’d find it both comforting and suffocating to realize how closely he’s watching over you.

⚔️ Tactical Genius in Love

Strategic Planning: The Twelfth Doctor's mind works like a chess master, and his obsession with you is no different. He’d meticulously plan out every interaction, making sure every moment you spend together strengthens your bond. Even when it seems like he’s being spontaneous, everything is calculated to keep you close and invested in him.

Outwitting Rivals: If anyone shows romantic interest in you, the Doctor would subtly and effectively outwit them. He wouldn’t confront them outright—he’s too clever for that. Instead, he’d manipulate events or conversations to highlight their flaws, making it clear that no one can measure up to him. “Oh, they seem nice,” he’d say with a sarcastic smirk, before quickly pointing out their failings.

💀 Dark, Unspoken Desperation

Fear of Losing You: The Twelfth Doctor’s greatest fear would be losing you. It’s this fear that drives his obsession, the gnawing dread that if he loses you, he’ll fall into the loneliness and darkness that he’s spent lifetimes running from. This fear would manifest in controlling behavior—he’d always know where you are, always have a plan to keep you by his side.

Unstable Underneath: Though the Doctor keeps a tight lid on his emotions, his obsession with you brings out a more unstable side of him. His outbursts of anger, though rare, are terrifying—sharp, quick, and followed by an apology. His love for you is like a storm he can’t control, and when he feels you slipping away, the cracks in his calm façade begin to show.

🌠 Infinite Love, Infinite Loneliness

He Can Never Let You Go: The Doctor’s love for you is infinite, like the stars, but that love is also deeply selfish. He wants to be the only one in your universe, the one you rely on for everything. Though he knows it’s unfair, he just can’t bring himself to give you the freedom you might need. You are his—and he’s not willing to lose you to anyone, or anything.

Bound by Time: His obsession with you would make him willing to bend or break the rules of time to keep you. If it came to it, he would rewrite history to keep you safe—or keep you with him. Time doesn’t matter when it comes to his love for you. He would burn whole timelines to ash if it meant keeping you in his world.

#twelfth doctor #hcs #doctor who #headcannons #12th doctor #twelfth doctor Headcanons #the twelfth doctor #chatgpt #obsessed

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gay-trains · 2 years ago

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Some thoughts on the symbolism of charlie’s cigarettes and Erin’s asthma.

The Cigarettes are way more than JUST Charlie’s addiction to nicotine. They are a symbol of his selfishness and how he treats people. Remember, it isn’t “I lost my cigarettes” or “I forgot my cigarettes” or “My cigarettes went missing” it is “ERIN lost my cigarettes” It is the device through which we see him shirking blame.

Charlie clearly wants to make ALL The decisions in the show but when those decisions don’t lead to success, it isn’t his fault. His cigarettes are his want to have it all, ordering people around, but not having to bear with the consequences.

That is WHY Du’met’s trap for Charlie is so genius, it isn’t JUST about the cigarettes, it is about Charlie’s selfishness and his overbearing nature the cigarettes are his neurotic need to be in control of everything that ruins the show he is trying to make.

A director’s job, is to facilitate an environment in which every single person can do their job to the best of their ability, without much or any interruption, and have it come together as a cohesive vision. I have worked with great directors before that were GREAT at this. Everyone has their instructions, everyone knows their assignment and everyone has the means to make it happen.

Charlie’s denial when Erin asks if he wants to direct movies still, is also a sign of this need to be in control. By convincing others, that what he does is important or more important than what he used to want, maybe they will believe it...and so maybe he will too. It is the same as saying “oh i didn’t want to win anyway” when you lose a game, you want to seem in control, not like you are helpless and don’t know what to do. Which Charlie is.

And his Cigarettes are his grip on that control, he is a stress smoker, clearly and the cigarettes are the symbol of that stress, the symbol of his problems, the manifestation of the very flaws that brought him into this position.

Which is WHY it is such a great moment, when he is offered a cigarette at the end and for a moment, he reaches for it....but then declines. It isn’t JUST him declining the cigarettes, it is the writers way of showing how much he has CHANGED. like the curator said, Charlie learned that being a leader is more than ordering people around, you have to see your team as equals and also let them take charge when the time is right.

Charlie’s arc is learning how capable his team is, and that he can trust them to do good if he just lets them. Instead of having his hand in every single soup. He is a director...why is he telling Mark to not get creative with the photography? Why would he tell Erin to not try out something new with the sound when she is literally responsible for that, Why is he telling KATE the expert with the Masters in criminal psychology and investigative journalist, To not change his scripts? Kate SHOULD be the one writing her text,

Mark SHOULD get creative with photography or at the very least be allowed the opportunity to try stuff out and if it sucks then you throw it away. Erin, as the sound mixer should fucking be able to sound mix and not be his personal assistant. PA’s exist for a reason.

The stress comes from him not being able to trust them to do a good job, despite them obviously being quite capable in their fields. He needs to loosen his grip and eventually he does...he let’s go of the anxiety, aka....he quits smoking cigarettes. or at least is trying.

Just wanted to put this thought out there. Idk, it also shows just how deep the symbolism of the trap goes that du’met set for him. It is probably the deepest most dramatic, he was kind of lazy when it came to Kate, yeh sure there was the article......now what? and Mark? he didn’t rly think of much of anything special for him.

He did focus on Erin a bit more, he gave her the opportunity to be brave, offering her inhaler. fear would have been to try to attack him, bravery, was to try to grab it, and buy time enough to live. And we SEE that he respected that bravery when she made that choice, only cutting a bit of her hair and leaving.

I’m sure he to an extent sees himself in Erin a bit, or at the very least his younger self, a scared vulnurable boy, and Erin is also scared and vulnurable. his REAL trap for her was also quite personalized, with the fact it was A. a hospital...Erin is dependent on an inhaler means you gotta get perscriptions for them and have to pick them up, and asthma attacks can land you in the hospital.

She has a medical issue she lives with so her dying in a medical ward, would make sense, not to mention she is avoiding said medical issue, trying not to think about her asthma and trying to mind over matter it, but the reality is it is not giong away and the medical ward in a way is also a symbol of that.

Jamie’s texts etc, are of course also a thing in there cuz he knew about her liking Jamie I suppose, and also a symbol of her fear, because she was too afraid to make a move. and again a second time she is given the opportunity to be brave....to listen to ‘jamie’s voice in the recording and hide.....or to run, and have to face him. I do feel like if Du’met feels about ANYONE as a possible successor....I could SEE it being Erin.

You can’t mind over matter Asthma...bravery is to face the reality of what you are dealing with. and working with it in mind, not avoiding it. Admitting to yourself you cannot stop this thing from happening and are dependent on some medication or other, is a scary thing to admit to ones’ self...it is giving up a part of your illusion of control. a little like charlie. But only by facing it can you move on. and du’met almost seemed like he wanted to TEACH that to her.His traps for her felt more like tests...lessons.

In short, I think Du’met and Charlie are Erin’s gay Dads with Charlie being stressed and snappy sometimes and Du’met only needing to give the man a stern look, for him to admit he was wrong and regret whatever it is he said to their daughter and apologizing cuz he IS trying to be better.

While Du’met is the dad teaching her to stand up for herself, to be a wolf, not a sheep. And Charlie being the one to reign in Du’met when he goes too far with some of his teachings.

#du'met x charlie #tdim #dark pictures anthology #granthem du'met #charlie lonnit #erin keenan

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