#anaroceit week

[cheesycheesyches]

Anaroceit Day 3 - Ghosts

@anaroceitweek

[prodigal-explorer]

anaroceit week - day two - liar liar

@anaroceitweek

prompt: theatre/mistake

relationship: romantic anaroceit

word count: 4.4k

(cw -> disordered eating, punishing oneself, hospitals, fainting, cursing, extreme self-hatred)

---

Roman had a bad habit of equating his worth to his successes. 

And his failures. 

Though his dear boyfriends tried to be supportive, they could never be louder than Roman’s mind, the voices that taunted his ears from the inside. No matter where Roman hid, they would always be there. The only way to get rid of them would be to saw off his own head. 

Wow. That was a macabre thought for 6am. 

But laying awake in the dewy, calm blue hours of the morning was a typical occurrence for Roman. He often found himself unable to sleep very well, though his boyfriends’ sleep habits weren’t much better than his. The only difference was that Janus and Virgil tended to stay awake by choice. 

Melatonin didn’t work anymore. It did at first, but now, no matter how many Roman took, he still found himself unable to sleep. His brain just refused to stop. 

“I get that,” Virgil said one day, when Roman told him about it. “It’s hard to turn your mind off when you just need to get some rest. Wake me up next time that happens, okay? I can help you.” 

Yeah, there was no way Roman was doing that and disrupting the little sleep that Virgil did manage to get. But despite this, he grinned and nodded eagerly. Because he was a disgusting, filthy liar. 

Janus thought that he could always tell when Roman was lying. He prided himself on it vocally, which was something that Janus rarely did. He usually had a more quiet, refined confidence about him. Everything about him was understated and completely in control. He could make people do and feel whatever he wanted, as if people were ripples in water, and Janus was just running his fingers to change the currents. Roman lost track of how many times that Janus flustered him to the point where he felt like a pile of putty in Janus’ expert, gloved hands. But every time he thought about being in Janus’ clutches, the idea of being rendered helpless in Janus’ all-knowing eyes, made Roman’s heart flutter with adoration. 

Yes, Janus thought that he could tell whenever Roman told a lie. Since he could tell just about everything else. But he was wrong. Over the years, Roman had learned how to bypass Janus, as expertly as a snake weaving through a bed of tall grass. It wasn’t like Roman liked lying to his boyfriends. He felt like the scum of the earth when he did it. But there was no other choice. He couldn’t stand to worry them, and Roman knew that if they found out about how cruelly his brain spoke to him, there would be trouble. 

Especially from Virgil. The man was strong, wonderfully strong (though not as strong as himself, Roman liked to think), and he was very protective over his boyfriends. Roman and Janus both knew that Virgil had a tendency to spiral, his anxious thoughts getting the best of him. And that anxiety usually manifested into an overprotective nature similar to an overbearing mother. But Janus and Roman were the perfect boyfriends for Virgil in that regard, both of them being quite desperate for attention, fawning, and doting at any given moment. 

Though all three of them weren’t perfectly functional in every way, they complimented each other beautifully. Roman didn’t know what he would do without Janus and Virgil on either side of him, holding him upright and being there for him when even his own mind wasn’t. 

            Which lead him to tonight. 

“Oh, Roman, your performance tonight was spectacular,” Janus gushed, hugging his boyfriend close the moment Roman stepped out through the stage door. 

Roman accepted the hug numbly, trying to hold back stubborn tears. How could Janus say that when everybody saw what he had done up there? Sure, perhaps it wasn’t an obvious mistake. Forgetting the words to a song for a second is an easy enough mistake to recover from. But Roman wouldn’t let himself forget. Not for the rest of the show, and not even after the curtains closed. 

Whenever he closed his eyes, he just saw the moment replay as if it had only just happened. He had been standing before an audience of 500 people, all eyes on him as he stood under the spotlight, hyper-aware of how it practically baked his skin. The words he had been memorizing every spare second for the past month whizzed through his brain like a hummingbird flitting haphazardly from left to right to left again. Roman knew exactly what he was doing, and there were no excuses. 

But when he’d opened his mouth, the words were moving just a little too fast in his brain. The lights were just a little too bright. Roman felt weak and faint, and as he looked around for Virgil and Janus in the audience, he made eye contact with both of them, frozen where he stood, desperate to just summon the words. He needed them. If he didn’t succeed, then what was all that rehearsal for? If he wasn’t perfect, then why did he even grace the beloved stage with his wretched presence? 

He’d found the words eventually, of course. But the orchestra had to vamp for three measures. That was unheard of. And through his peripheral vision, Roman could sense the stares of his fellow castmates in the wings. Every single one of them knew that he had messed up, and Roman had needed to work so hard just to prove to them that he was worth being in the same room as them. 

Now, all that work was for naught. 

Deep down, Roman knew that it was unlikely that every single member of the cast saw Roman as a parasite who was beneath them. But every harsh joke they made, every narrowed stare and eye roll, made Roman believe that it was true, no matter what the actual situation was. The bad spoke a lot more than the good, in Roman’s opinion. 

Roman could see that Janus was rubbing his back, and he could see Virgil’s lips moving, which insinuated that he was saying something. But his body felt fuzzy, like a blanket was covering it and keeping him from feeling outside movement with precision or accuracy. And his ears felt like they had been stuffed with cotton or pushed underwater, as Virgil’s words came out as messy, globbed up syllables. 

But Roman nodded, hoping it was the right thing to do in response to whatever Virgil said. From the way Virgil beamed, Roman could tell that he had somehow, despite the odds, made a good choice, and Janus gently started to guide him out of the theater. 

The cold air blowing outside honestly made Roman feel a little more human again. He could feel Janus’ hand on his back with a more solid sureness, and his brain was finally moving on from the endless flashback he had been enduring for what he assumed to be at least the last few minutes. But unfortunately, with this newfound freedom, his mind decided to move on to another loop. 

You aren’t eating. 

At first, Roman was a little confused. Why wouldn’t he eat? It was the end of a long show, and he was hungry. Besides, he was certain that Virgil and Janus had made him something at the house. They both loved cooking together and sharing their creations with Roman. Why would Roman deprive them of seeing his reaction to what they worked so hard to make for him? 

But even with this reasoning, the demanding voice in his head stayed firm. 

You’re not eating. You were awful out there. You need to make things right before you can have another bite of anything. 

So that was that. 

Roman wasn’t one to argue with himself for long. His gut was forceful, and it did whatever it pleased, no matter what all of Roman had to say about it. So when the three boyfriends got home and Janus offered Roman a steaming hot plate of fried rice, Roman played the tired card, rushing off and gulping down a large bottle of water before either of his boyfriends could hear his stomach growling. 

—

Sleep was impossible in this state. 

Even after popping four melatonin (technically, he was only supposed to take two), Roman found himself lying awake, his body wired and wracked with a strange sort of fear. As if he didn’t know who he really was. As if the person controlling his body’s movements wasn’t really him. It was scary, and this was Roman’s first time skipping a meal in a long time. What if something bad happened? 

His stomach gurgled, over and over, as if taunting him. Telling him he couldn’t do this. He was going to get up and eat and be absolutely pathetic. 

It was that thought, and that thought alone that kept Roman tethered to his bed, tossing and turning, and rendered unable to get a wink of sleep. By the time the next morning rolled around, Roman started to feel lightheaded from hunger and exhaustion, but in a way, it sort of felt good. When Roman realized this, he felt sick, despising himself for thinking such a wicked thing. How was destroying his body and his habits good in any capacity? 

It wasn’t good, but Roman walked past the kitchen, not even stopping for a drink of water. It wasn’t good, but Roman walked out of the door to go for his run without looking back. He’d never run hungry before, but that didn’t stop Roman from pushing himself to the limits, pushing through the air with such speed that it started to sting his skin. 

And for a moment, Roman felt like he was flying. Maybe he was. The area around him was hazy, and that was when Roman realized that he’d forgotten to put his contacts on. Oh, well. He didn’t deserve pretty scenery anyway. 

Roman’s stomach twisted as he ran and ran, his muscles trembling with fatigue by the time he made it back to the house. By now, he knew that Janus and Virgil were usually awake, so he had to go about this carefully. 

“Hey, Ro, you sleep well?” Virgil asked, approaching Roman as he came in through the door, pressing an ever-gentle kiss to his collarbone. 

“Yep, I slept great!” 

Roman fucking hated himself when his voice cracked. But miraculously, Virgil didn’t seem suspicious. 

“Jan’s making protein waffles. You’re gonna need a lot of strength for today.” 

Roman nodded. Not only did he have a show tonight, but he also was planning on helping his brother move into his new apartment. 

But when Roman thought of bringing a waffle to his lips, of ingesting it and having it sit in his stomach, he felt disgusting. That would remove all the progress of the previous night. It would make it all for nothing. He had to keep this going and see how long he could hold out. If he couldn’t even last one full day, then was he really worth anything? 

“Sorry, I’d better get going early,” he said, ruffling Virgil’s hair and going into the kitchen to hug Janus. “Remus will want me there bright and early so we can finish unloading before call time. I’ll eat with him.” 

Clearly, miracles were possible, because Janus believed Roman’s bold-faced lie. Remus was probably still asleep right now, and would be for the next two hours. So when Roman pulled his hair up into a bun and slid on his sneakers, guilt clawed at his chest as he thought about his two oblivious boyfriends, not knowing that Roman was only leaving to avoid the food that was being made at the house. 

Roman didn’t even take the car. He ran. His lungs burned, and the flying feeling wasn’t as exciting this time. Now, it felt more scary. It felt like Roman didn’t have any control over his limbs, and being unable to feel the ground beneath him, Roman worried that he might hurt himself. But he pressed on. He had to be strong enough. It was just running. It was nothing bad or impossible. He did this every single morning. 

Remus’ apartment was on the other side of town, so it took half an hour for Roman to run all the way there, even when he refused to rest or take any breaks. By the time Roman made it to the complex, his heart felt like it would explode out of its chest, and his legs felt like they were still running, even when they weren’t moving anymore. Shakily, Roman stumbled over to the nearest bench, sitting down and finally letting himself relax. 

“Ro! Hello?? Roman? Can you hear me?? C’mon, don’t pretend to be asleep just to ignore me, that’s my thing!” 

Roman blinked awake, not even realizing he had fallen asleep until he noticed how he was lying down on the bench, his face and stomach facing upwards. Remus’ gray-green eyes, glinting with mischief, were staring down at him. 

“What’re you up to, Sleeping Beauty?” Remus teased. “Why are you here so early?” 

“I just felt like surprising you?” Roman lied weakly. 

Remus quirked his eyebrow, clearly doubtful, but he didn’t say anything more about it, hauling Roman to his feet and opening the trunk of his rusty old pickup truck. 

“It’s not a lot of boxes, but it’s enough to be a pain in the ass,” Remus reported. “I’m glad you’re here. If I had to move all these all by myself, I’d go insane.” 

Roman could still feel his muscles quivering, but he forced a smile and nodded. It was just a bunch of boxes. How hard could it be? 

The sun was blazing hot, and the sweat dripping down Roman’s body started to cling and stink. Annoyed with himself, Roman realized that he had forgotten to wear deodorant. At least he was in his brother’s company. As sweaty as Roman smelled, it was highly likely that Remus stunk even worse. Every so often, Roman had to pause, put down the box he was holding, and wipe his palms and forehead with his shirt, just to keep himself from losing his grip on any of Remus’ possessions. 

And as Roman took each trip to the apartment lobby, going up the elevator to the ninth floor and then going back down and towards the pickup truck again, each box started to feel heavier and heavier. Roman knew he was decently strong. He could lift both of his boyfriends, and usually, he was the one in charge of moving heavy things around in the house. 

But today, everything was taking more and more effort. Regardless of the horror pooling in Roman’s chest, he kept going. He had to convince Remus that everything was okay, and he had to convince himself that everything was okay. He could survive without food. Lots of people did it. Once Roman couldn’t hold out anymore, he would tap out. But he couldn’t stop playing this twisted game with himself. A test of survival. Only the strongest could win, and Roman intended on winning. 

Finally, the twins were nearing the end of the unloading process. Roman picked up the third-to-last box, and started to walk, sighing with relief as the cold, air-conditioned air hit him. He started to feel strange and fuzzy as he got off the elevator, walking down the plush, carpeted hallway to get to Remus’ apartment. His hands were numb, and he found that he couldn’t control how they held onto the box. And then, the box started sinking. 

Even though the apartment was cool, Roman started to feel very, very hot. He wiped the sweat off his forehead with his shirt again, and set down the box, leaning against it and struggling to catch his breath. But as he tried to get up, Roman realized that he couldn’t. Every limb felt like it was being pushed down by a metal blanket, too heavy for him to effectively resist against. And his mind soon grew as numb as his hands as his vision blurred, and it was harder to hear. 

The last noise Roman recalled was the beeping of the elevator climbing up and down floors. And then, he closed his eyes. Just to rest them. 

Just to rest them. 

—

The first noise Roman recalled upon waking up was a sound that made Roman want to curl up under the covers and hide once again. 

It was the unmistakable sound of Virgil sobbing into his hands. 

Blinking, Roman tried to get a feel for where he was. Everything was bright and cold and strange. And white. Strikingly white. 

“Am I dead?” Roman asked himself, and he heard laughter beside him. 

Snapping his head as quickly as he could, Roman found himself face to face with a laughing Janus and a teary-eyed Virgil. Remus was talking to a tall woman wearing a white coat. Roman wondered what they were talking about. 

“You’re not dead, you silly goose,” Janus said affectionately, “But you almost were.  Do you know what’s going on right now, Ro?” 

“How should I?” Roman asked dumbly. “I just woke up. 

Virgil took a deep, shuddering breath, and then, he started to explain. 

“You passed out. Right in the middle of the hallway. Remus freaked out and tried to wake you up, but nothing was working. So he called 911, and, well, I guess we’re all here now. The doctors aren’t sure what happened. One thinks it’s heatstroke, while the other thinks it’s something to do with malnutrition, but-” 

Fear struck through Roman’s heart, making him shudder from top to bottom. 

“It was probably heatstroke,” he interjected abruptly, his words falling on top of each other in their haste. “It was hot outside, and I was dumb. I didn’t bring enough water.” 

“Couldn’t you have gotten some while you were eating with Remus?” Virgil whispered. “Why didn’t you?” 

Because he didn’t eat with Remus. 

Unfortunately, Remus heard this piece of the conversation and wandered over towards the bed Roman was propped up in, the woman in the coat trailing behind. 

“What’s he talking about?” Remus asked with a slight scoff. “We haven’t eaten together since we graduated. You’re always whining about how messy I am.” 

“What?” 

Janus’ eyes widened, and he turned to face Roman with intense ferocity. 

“You didn’t eat with Remus today? Then- why did you say you would?” 

Roman scrambled to come up with an acceptable response. 

“It just slipped my mind! I fell asleep and-” 

“You fell asleep?” Virgil whispered. “But you told me you slept really well last night.” 

“Sometimes- a…a prince needs-...more beauty rest…?” 

The desperation in Roman’s voice was giving him away. Virgil let out a tearful scoff and took a few steps away from the bed. 

“I can’t even look at you right now,” Virgil muttered, his teeth grit. 

“I just don’t understand!” Janus outburst, “Why did you lie to us, Roman? What the hell is this whole story about? You leave at seven in the morning, and you don’t even eat with Remus?” 

“You left at seven?” Remus asked, his eyes widening. “I didn’t get there until noon! I told you I would be there at noon at the earliest. Why did you-” 

Roman hadn’t even realized that he had been asleep on the bench for that long. 

“Another lie!” Janus exclaimed with a bitter laugh. “Another. Lie. Roman, you’d better come clean and do it now. Unless you just want me to assume the worst, which is getting easier and easier to do with each passing second.” 

Something broke inside Roman’s mind like a dam. Janus had set him off. 

“Oh, you want the truth?” Roman asked with a loaded laugh that made Janus shudder. “I’ll tell you the truth.” 

Immediately, Janus intertwined his fingers with Virgil’s, squeezing his lover’s hand gently. Roman’s heart ached for both of them, but he also felt a strange sort of reverie. He didn’t regret a single thing he’d done, except pass out in front of Remus. If he’d only waited until he was out of sight to let his body give out, then maybe he would have been able to hold on for a little longer. Maybe he would have been able to get closer to winning the game, and finally making up for how much of a failure he was. 

“I didn’t want your waffles,” Roman said, his words clipped and almost hostile. “I didn’t want to eat anything. I needed…I needed to prove myself. Last night can never happen again. I need more discipline. I need to be more successful.” 

“But Roman, you fell asleep before you could even have dinner last night,” Janus said. “Why would you go for even longer without eating?” 

“Because I have to!” Roman shouted, starting to laugh. Suddenly, all of this felt very funny. “I have to beat this game! If I do, then I’ll get forgiven! I won’t have to think about what happened last night anymore because I’ll know I’m strong! Come on. You can’t tell me you’ve never thought about it. Pushing yourself to the limit to see how far you can go. Don’t treat me like I’m some sick freak just because I’m stronger than all of you combined!” 

“Roman, you sound insane,” Virgil whispered, his voice wavering. “Did you even have lunch yesterday?” 

“A light brunch,” Roman mumbled. “It was all we had time for before rehearsal.” 

“Great,” Janus said, cutting through the awkward silence that had been created as a result of Roman’s gut-wrenching answer. “You’ve been starving yourself for almost an entire day because- you’re playing a game with yourself? How can you say all this and then expect me not to think you’re going crazy?” 

“All because you messed up a little line in your little play?” Virgil added, his voice still quiet. “Why are you killing yourself because of one mistake?” 

“Because I had no excuse!” Roman cried out. “I worked for weeks on that show. I made sure everything was perfect right down to the letter, and on the one day where it mattered more than anything, I messed up. It was pathetic.” 

“It was not pathetic,” Janus insisted. “It was human. If you’re starving yourself over making such a small mistake onstage, how do you handle it when you fuck up big time?? How long have you been hiding this game from us??” 

“This is my first time with the eating thing,” Roman mumbled, his face burning with indignation. He hated being talked down to like he was a child. “Usually, I take away other things. I go on my run barefoot. I don’t let myself drink water during rehearsal. You don’t get it because you’re perfect, but I need these games. I need to win to feel like I’m worth…something.” 

“If I may interject…” 

The woman in the coat showed Roman her nametag. It read Dr. Andy. Roman wondered if Andy was her first name or her last name, but he thought it best not to ask at this moment. 

“It sounds like you have some obsessive compulsions,” Dr. Andy said softly, her voice carrying not a hint of judgment. “You seem to feel a need to punish yourself whenever you make a mistake. Is that correct?” 

“That’s what I just said,” Roman muttered, rolling his eyes with what he knew was the utmost immaturity. He was too tired to care. 

“Well, yes,” Dr. Andy continued, “And these games, as you describe them, all risk your physical wellbeing. When did you start doing this?” 

“I don’t remember a time when I didn’t,” Roman said, keeping his gaze fixed on one of the metal rods below the hospital bed. “My earliest memory was tearing up all my shirts when I get yelled at by my mom for…I don’t even know what for.” 

“She thought you were just throwing a temper tantrum,” Remus whispered. “So did I.” 

“But it wasn’t,” Dr. Andy said. “It was a ritual. You put yourself through these things because of some subconscious superstition buried in your complicated, obscure mind. A lot of people have this problem, more than you know. Not all eating disorders come from body image issues.” 

“Hold on, this isn’t an eating disorder,” Roman interrupted, sitting up in the bed. “I skipped two meals. That doesn’t mean anything.” 

“Well, the way you snuck around and lied about all of this suggests that you’ve done this sort of thing before, even if you say you haven’t,” Dr. Andy explained. “Perhaps you blocked it out of your memory in childhood. Or you did it during college without realizing it. These things can build up into something dangerous if you don’t put a stop to it while it’s still growing.” 

“Whatever,” Roman scoffed, “It wasn’t dangerous. I just fell asleep for a few minutes because it was hot out.” 

“Roman…” Remus spoke gravely, which was very atypical of him. “You were asleep for two days.” 

Two days. Two days?? 

“You mean I missed yesterday’s show??” Roman demanded, “Why didn’t you wake me up?? Why didn’t anybody-” 

“You think we didn’t try that?” Janus asked. “This is a medical emergency, Ro. Even if we did manage to wake you up, I would not feel comfortable sending you onstage in this state. Your blood sugar’s low, you’re weak. You know you can’t do this sort of thing in your condition.” 

Roman stopped speaking. He stopped fighting. It was four versus one, and frankly, Roman was too tired to keep retaliating and battling. He just let the words wash over him. 

Worried.

Terrified. 

Therapist. 

Treatment. 

Supplements. 

Monitor. 

Watch. 

Meal Plan. 

Roman wanted to die. Why did Remus have to call 911? Why didn’t he just leave Roman in the hallway?? 

“Roman, baby, please don’t cry,” Virgil whispered. 

“What are you talking about?” Roman asked, bringing a hand to his face. “I’m not-” 

A fat teardrop splashed onto Roman’s fingernail, proving him wrong. 

“Darling…” Janus’ previously stern voice gave way for something much more nurturing as he held Roman in his arms, cradling the man back and forth awkwardly. “We’re going to work on this. All three of us are going to help you, Roman. We don’t want to see you in pain. We don’t want to see you being punished, even if you think you deserve it. We want to help. We all…just want to help. All you have to do is let us.” 

“Okay…” Roman whispered, and as Virgil hugged him from his other side, he finally let himself sob. “Okay.”

[naminethewriter]

Unappreciated Skills

I know it's the angst prompt but I didn't feel like writing angst, so here's Roman flustering Virgil again 🤭 @anaroceitweek

Masterpost | Anaroceit Week 2024 Masterpost | Ao3

Summary: Roman asks Janus on his opinion on an issue. Virgil uses the opportunity to poke fun at him.

Content Warnings: None

~~*~~

“I think you need to apologize,” Janus advises and Roman sighs.

“Yeah, you’re right. I’ll work out something.”

“Work out what? You suck at apologies,” Virgil snorts from the couch.

“Excuse you! I’m great at apologizing!”

“Sure, princey.”

“Maybe you should prove it to him, Roman,” Janus suggests with a sly smile.

“What a wonderful idea, darling!” He stands and goes over to Virgil, kneeling in front of him and taking his hand.

“I’m sorry, mi amore,” he whispers and presses a kiss to Virgil’s hand.

“Gross,” Virgil complains but his face is red, and he doesn’t retract his hand.

[anaroceitweek]

Hello all!!! I'm so sorry for forgetting about this, but we are still in need of a date and the poll was tied so I shall be choosing!!

This event will be taking place between June 17th and June 23rd

Hopefully this will give me enough time to get a form out for submitting prompts <33 so see you in a few days for that! Provided I don't forget again.

@sanders-sides-events

[expolikestoart]

@anaroceitweek

[fandombead]

For Those Who Have Mourned Me

Hello!! This is my submission for Anaroceit Shipweek's prompt: Apology.

Summary: Virgil returns home after a quest to retrieve an invaluable gift for his partners takes far longer than he'd anticipated. How will they receive him? How could they forgive him after disappearing for 2 years? (note: Fantasy AU! Heads up for angst, this is hurt/comfort)

WC: ~3k || It’s on AO3! @anaroceitweek ! *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Apology

Virgil had no idea how he was going to explain himself. There wasn’t much he could say that would make this day easier. But he’d been psyching himself up for weeks and he was here now. But would they want him back?

Virgil stopped walking as the quiet forest opened into a grassy clearing. 

He felt faint as he stared up at the little cottage backed to the stream on the other side. He clutched his walking stick hard to stay standing, exhaustion and longing and heartache battling it out in his chest. Guilt rose from his stomach and made him feel sick. His magic sparked at his fingertips from the increasing anxiety and he could only grip his satchel to his chest, protecting thd thing he’d fought so hard to retrieve. That would make a world of difference and change all of their lives for the better. He had to believe it would, or else this was all for nothing. 

They…they’d accept him back, wouldn’t they? Once they knew why he’d been gone so long. He could explain it to them, and he’d do anything for them to apologize, to be pulled into their embrace, and he’d never leave it again if the asked it of him. If they wanted to hold him again. 

Tears pricked at his eyes but he wasn’t allowed to cry over this. He had no right to. It didn’t matter how much he’d missed them or how many times in the months it took to get back to them that he wanted to give up the quest. He should have told them. He didn’t know he’d be gone this long, but he should have. 

The sun was nearly gone behind him, casting long shadows of the trees on the house. 

A light was on in their sitting room by the garden. Attention drawn to prolong the inevitable, it looked like they’d planted the new crops already in his absence. He wondered if Roman had helped Jan in his place this year. And last year. 

He wanted to go in and hold them. He just wanted them to understand: prayed to whoever would listen that they’d understand why. Did he have the right to call this his home anymore after such an absence? Virgil doubted he’d be welcome, but perhaps that was just his own doubt clouding his mind. 

Perhaps.

Virgil forced himself forward, hobbling carefully down the path. He looked as frazzled as he felt, and maybe he should have stopped in town to be presentable first. He’d bathed in the river regularly, but the clothes were old now, damaged from travel. Maybe they could forgive him for it, too, if they could with everything else. He hadn’t wanted to delay another moment once back in the safe lands of the kingdom.

The path hadn’t changed much, even if a little overgrown with grass and wildflowers that hadn’t been cleared in a long while. The porch still creaked on its second step. Roman had said he would fix it soon. The bench swing on their porch was not as white as it used to be, sun-damaged and with a few chips in the paint, but it still had a clean outdoor blanket folded over the back of it and was free of dirt or pollen like it was regularly kept up. They still used it, then.

He tried to imagine the two of them there, sitting and watching the sunset like they used to together on many nights. He wonders if they sat there together watching the path for him to return. He wonders how long they waited, assuming he would come back for months. Hoping he would come back. Guilt tightened in his chest as he stood there far too long, staring and lost in thought. 

He did not realize he wasn’t the only one outside.

 Roman’s sharp gasp followed by the loud clatter of his watering can on the stepping stones leading to the back of the house was the only warning Virgil had. Virgil jumped, nearly tripping over his walking stick in his haste to whip around and just as startled as Roman stared. He had changed so much quite visibly. Ro looked more hallowed, his eyes not as bright as they used to be with small creases underneath. He had longer hair than Virgil had ever seen him with, messily put up in a bun.  

Roman was right there, and Virgil’s heart ached to reach out, to say something and make that shaken expression change. 

“Virgil!” he cried out, and it was almost more of a wail.

He wasn’t able to say a word before Roman was rushing him. “R-Roman– I-I’m so sorry, I really– oof!” 

Virgil’s back bumped the door in a moment of distress, because so much that had run at him in these past years had been hostile and trying to kill him. Roman closed the distance faster than Virgil could sidestep and he flinched, almost expecting anger to greet him, but arms encased him, not trapping or to hurt, but holding him close, as if he were something precious. Roman held him fiercely, and it took Virgil several long seconds to realize he wasn’t the one shaking. Or maybe Roman just was more than him. Virgil let out a small wounded noise as all the words he’d had ready were stuck in his throat, and it was all he could do to hang onto Roman’s arm around him.

The front door swung open and Virgil could not see behind him as he was currently being clutched against Roman’s chest, the tall diefic being refusing to relinquish him as he somehow cradled Virgil to him while they were both standing. Roman was sobbing over his head.

Virgil collapsed forward unwittingly, too startled to stay upright. Roman held fast, sinking carefully down with him and not letting Virgil slip from his strong arms. Virgil was stiff, trembling as he didn’t know what to do with his arms.  Roman tried to speak through his sobs, as Janus both tried to console him and fuss over Virgil, reeling as well, but knowing he was needed by them both. That didn’t stop Virgil from seeing tears on his face as well, Janus pulling Virgil against his chest when Roman let up for a moment to fuss over his state.

Virgil clung onto him like a lifeline, shameful in how weak he was to allow it. They should be furious with him, but they were too kind to turn him away. They wouldn’t, even though he’d properly abandoned them. He’d told himself he wouldn’t cry– wouldn’t force their sympathy from past feelings for him. 

“We’ve got you, love, it’s alright.” Janus said soothingly, and tried to pretend his voice didn’t hitch on the words. He cradled Virgil’s face in his cool palms, pressing their foreheads together as he just seemed to reveal in the sudden relief and change in their reality.

So many dreams of this very moment, a hope they’d shared in all its clear futility for two years now. Janus held on tight to make sure he was real, and refused to open his eyes for fear of waking up again.

“We thought you were gone,” Roman breathed out, pressing his damp face into Virgil’s wayward curls. “The–the pendants– stars, they told us you weren’t even alive– they didn’t glow when we reached out with thoughts of you, nowhere in the world…we t-thought you were–”

“I am so sorry,” Virgil whispered, clinging to Roman’s sleeve and pressing his face into the fabric desperately. He still smelled like canvas and that fruity spritz that Virgil always loved on him. He grimaced, trying to reign his emotions in, he couldn’t get overwhelmed right now. He had to tell them; needed to explain himself before they realized they should be far more upset. Though they had every right to be. “I’m sorry,” he croaked out, louder this time. “I-I– I never intended to be gone this long– but I couldn’t give up and time passed so much faster than I–”

Virgil cut himself off, trying to calm down. He wasn’t trying to make excuses. Janus hated when people couldn’t even be accountable, but what could he even say? 

Virgil clutched the bag to his chest and tried to pull back, however reluctant, to get his arm out. He managed to wiggle it free when Roman realized he was trying to get to it and let up a bit on his hold, not letting him go for even a moment.

“I– I got you this.” 

Janus and Roman’s eyes widened at the curling amber circlet he pulled from his bag, Roman covering his mouth when he saw it held gently in Virgil’s hands in offering. The headpiece had unshaped Ecludite at its front, trapped by a translucent tesseract crystal. The chunk of metallic crimson was no bigger than a coin and nonetheless radiated the immense power it contained just from being exposed. It was invaluable and a thing of legend and entirely non-existent in this mortal realm. Which meant…

“Virgil– this is from Erok!” Janus exclaimed, nearly standing again in his horror. 

Roman gaped, immediately turning to Virgil, who shrunk in on himself. “You went to Erok on your own?! Do you have any idea how dangerous and reckless that was? For two years!” 

Janus was shaking his head, trying to steady himself. “We could have easily lost you even from meeting in the afterlife, do you have any idea what would have happened to your soul had you died there? What’s likely already happened to your Quintessence–”  

“I-I know this doesn’t excuse me leaving!” Virgil said quickly, head bowed. “I know it was so stupid and I should have told you and that it was horrible to not even let you know where I was going the day I left– gods, I left a letter telling you I’d be back in a week…! I–I know this doesn’t make it up to you. For what I did before I left–” “Virgil!” Roman tearfully cut in, horrified and not able to take just listening a moment longer. “Did you do this on your own because of that guilt? Did you truly think we would not care or would want you to ever go to that– realm of chthonian horrors?!”

Virgil wouldn’t look at either of them. “If I thought for a moment at the start of all this that it would take me so long to get back, I swear I would not have gone like that, I never wanted to worry either of you, I wanted to do this for you! You both are so amazing and took care of me at my lowest–  A-And I had to do something–I could do something, I could b-bring you Mindscape’s Gate–”

“You should have taken us with you!” Roman cried, nearly knocking one of the most powerful dimension-crossing pieces out of Virgil’s hands, much to their little mage’s fear. Janus was faster, quickly taking it and the bag Virgil had settled it on away, holding it in his lap. Janus ran a hand through Virgik’s hair, settling it there as he gazed at him hard. “Virgil, you matter so much more to us than a portal back home. We would have found a way together, but to risk your magic being striped, your life– everything you are for this, all alone…”

They fell silent, save for Roman’s quiet soothing murmurs in their home tongue.

Virgil shook his head slowly, unable to hold the gaze. “I–I was selfish. I didn’t want to risk you, but thought…stupidly, that I could travel and make it after some lousy soothsayer told me how to get there. They never mentioned how hard getting back was and I was too desperate to ask. But you were just so terrified and devastated when the Di-Keep stole your connection to Home.”

“V-Vee, stormcloud, please, you’re–”

“Y-You both can go home again! You can see the others, so it was worth it, the risk, everything, it had to be worth it!”

Neither of them said anything for a long moment that time, and Virgil tried to pull away, but neither let him, Roman making a soft noise of protest. 

Janus shook his head as he tilted Virgil’s face gently to meet his soft eyes. “You did…all that for us. It was amazing of you, and…and so brave, even if…short-sided.” he said carefully, sighing as his face fell. “But you must understand, you mean so much more to us. No matter what happened, we do not want you to ever put your life up for us. It is so much more valuable to me than anything we’ve ever come to find in this realm. You are our greatest treasure.”

Virgil felt himself trembling at the implications.

Roman pressed his nose against Virgil’s shoulder, holding him close as Janus pulled them both to him, the circlet miraculously having been shifted safely to the bench swing as if it were just a souvenir he had gotten them.  

“We love you so much, our brave and selfless knight. We missed you deeply. We are so thankful the realm allowed you to return to us. If I’d known that’s where you were this whole time, we would have come for you, no questions asked. You must have been so scared…”

Virgil shuddered as his composure left him entirely, held so close between them and not wanting to let either go. He fisted Roman’s soft cotton shirt in tightly as Janus pressed a kiss to his forehead. “We have you now, my love. And we aren’t letting you go again.”

“I-I-sorry.” 

“We know. All will be alright.” Janus soothed, and Virgil held onto the words meant to comfort him. They did not know if he would be alright again. “I’m sorry– y-you mourned me.”

“You are here now, you are home.” Roman cooed, voice lulling. “You returned to us. Don’t you worry right now about how we will handle it. We are relieved.”

“I’m sorry,” Virgil sobbed, and he didn’t even know what specifically for. For everything that he knew they must have went through. They had to be relieving the pain he’d put them through, showing up out of nowhere like this–

Janus shushed him softly, brushing long damp hair from Virgil’s face as it stuck together on his pale cheeks. Being without sun for two years would have such awful effects on mortals. Janus made a note to have Virgil sit outside with him as he recovered.

“All will be alright, windstorm.“

It had all but set now, the shadows all-encompassing in their little clearing as the stream bubbled in the quiet. Crickets and fireflies started their nightly concert and dance in the tall grass, having a light show that didn’t compare to the constellations starting to come out above them. They sat there, letting Virgil cry out all his feelings of loneliness and longing and fears he would never come home, that they’d never even know what happened to him. He didn’t stop his garbled apologies until he was physically too exhausted to keep it up. Roman and Janus patiently reassured and comforted him the entire time until he finally fell silent, slumped against Roman’s chest as Janus held his free hand, stroking the scarred skin in his cool, smooth ones.

“I-I’m going to lift you up, okay?” Roman warned right before Janus pulled back. It wasn’t even a second later that Roman took his place once more, easily lifting Virgil and standing with him, followed by more quiet fretting over how light Virgil was. Virgil could only curl into Roman, unwilling to pull away drained as he was. If they abandoned him now, he would simply lie there, unmoving until the Wyervins and scavengers found him. He had nothing left. He weakly clutched at Roman’s chest, chasing the dark thoughts away. Such thoughts had long haunted him in dreams of his return. They got to him, warping his memory of them and their love. Janus and Roman were not like that. Ro was bold in his outspoken declarations of adoration and love for them both. Jay was more subtle but no less sentimental and just as intense, showering them in sweet words and close contacts.

“I have you, little hero. You’re with us again.” Roman reassured as Janus got the door for them, sweeping the precious token up with his telekinesis once more to bring it and Virgil’s staff safely inside. He made sure it was slid back into its bag and that it was set in the study, safe in the heart of their home. Many would kill or worse to get their hands on something so impossibly priceless, but they already had something worth more in their arms. They could discuss it in a few days or weeks, after they all had recovered enough and had a proper talk about all of this. 

Jan was not so sure a complete recovery was feasible, no matter how many decades and centuries passed, but they could be okay again. They would get to a place they could function in normalcy, even if it was never gone. Maybe it should never be gone, as life-changing as it was. Neither he nor Roman were done explaining to their beloved just how much he meant to them, and they would get it through the cloud of doubt in his mind. They would dote and tell him constantly of that truth, and reassure his anxieties as much as he needed them to without question. He had been through something no one should have to face and survived it. He was going to need time and help recover from that. They’d be here to listen and help him get any residual soulmarks healed. They’d guide him through the trauma and how to cope with what he’d never be rid of. They’d do anything for Vee, for Virgil, as long as it meant they’d still be there to love and protect him. He was as much their home as Mindscape, and they’d never let him be isolated from them ever again.

“We will take care of you, darling. You can rest now.”

[prinxietyweek]

Hi all!!!!

Unlike with Anaroceit week I'm not going to do an interest check for this one - because *I'm* interested and I want to run this event again so I'm going straight in with the dates.

Please reblog to help people who might be interested see this!!!!

( @sanders-sides-events )

[sanders-sides-events]

Sanders Sides 2024 events masterpost!!

2023 masterpost

Here's the Sanders Sides events list for 2024!! If you're running an event and want it to be added to the list, please let me know, and tag this blog in any posts you want reblogged here!!

Events are under the cut:

Event weeks

Logince Week @loginceweek2024

21st - 27th January | Prompts

Dukeceit Week (hosted by @imnotgrimimjustagrumpyreaper)

6th - 13th April | Prompts

Analogince week @analoginceweek

29th April - 5th May

Dukexiety Week @dukexietyweek

25th May - 2nd June | Prompts

Ace Sides Week @acesidesweek

3rd June - 9th June | Prompts

Anaroceit Week @anaroceitweek

17th June - 23rd June | Prompts

Prinxiety Week @prinxietyweek

24th June - 30th June | Prompts

Loceit Week @loceitweek

30th June - 6th July

LAMP Appreciation Week @lamp-appreciation-week

8th July - 14th July 2024 | Prompts

Intruality Week @intrualityweek

Logicality Week @logicalityweek2024

14th - 20th July

Platonic Sides Week @platonicsidesweek

22nd - 28th September

29th September - 5th October

Intrulogical Week @intrulogicalweek

3rd - 9th November

Big Bangs & exchanges

Tss Storytime Big Bang @tss-storytime

1st February - 31st August | Schedule

Sanders Sides Big Bang @sandersidesbigbang

Schedule to be confirmed

Sanders Sides New Years Bang @newyearsbang

Other events and projects

@syzygy-podfic-project Auditions open 5th February - 16th February

@sasiaucompetition Submissions open 15th February - 22nd February

Schedules + event blogs

@tsseventhub

Logan's Master Schedule by @edupunkn00b

[prince-rowan-of-the-forest]

Anaroceit be merpeople because I'm kinda crazy over merpeople rn

I'm a day late but I wasn't able to contribute much to anaroceit week due to unforeseen circumstances - so have this an an apology :)

It doesn't really go with any of the prompts but I do consider this a work for the week <3

[transfemlogan]

Sanders Sides events in 2023! Last updated: September 17th, 2023

2022 event list

This list complies every event in 2023 (on Tumblr), such as: character days, ship weeks, gift exchanges, "big bangs", and ETC. If you have an event this year, let me know so I can add it to the list!

I will not be adding the sides' birthdays to this list (unless begged /j), because they are in my last list and... they don't change.

(These are added as the people hosting the event state that they are doing it this year)

MISC

@tss-storytime - Sanders Sides Big Bang - Schedule

@tsspromptmonth - Spring Cleaning Event: February 10 - end of April Sign ups & Schedule

@transsidesweek - Transgender Sides Week: september 11th - 17th

@acesidesweek - Asexual Sides Week: june 5th - 11th (prompts)

@aro-sides-week - Aromantic Sides Week: august 20th - 26th (prompts)

@briandthemoon - Thomas Sanders Birthday Bash: DEADLINE MARCH 24TH (information)

@tss-october-ghostwriters - Halloween Exchange (FAQ) (SIGN UPS - july 36th - september 30th)

@autisticsidesweek - Autistic Sides Week: December 4th - 10th

SHIP EVENTS

@loginceweek2023 - Logince Week: January 23rd - 29th (prompts)

@roceit2023 - Roceit Week: April 6-13 (prompts)*

@dukexietyweek - Dukexiety Week: June 18th - 25th (prompts)

@loceitweek - Loceit Week: June 27th - July 3rd (prompts)

@anaroceitweek - Anaroceit Week: July 10th - July 16th (prompts)

@royalityweek - Royality Week: July 31st - August 6th

@prinxietyweek - Prinxiety Week: October 2nd - October 8th (prompts)

@intrualityweek - Intruality Week: October 22nd - 28th

@intrulogicalweek - Intrulogical Week: October 29th - November 4th (prompts)

@tss-anxceit-week - Anxceit Week: November 12 - 19

@moxiety-week - Moxiety Week: December 18th - 24th

*2023 roceit week is hosted by someone different than last years! Check out last years roceit week at @roceitweek

ROLESLAYING WITH ROMAN

@roleslayingweek2023 - Roleslaying Week: July 24th - 30th

Events NOT Happening

Moceit Week (@moceit-appreciation-week) is Not coming back this year, there hasn't been an Intruality week since 2021 (@intrualityweek2021), and there has never been a Logicality week ever! Analogical Week (@analogicalweek) is most likely not coming back this year (or ever), as the creator left the fandom.

[muppetable]

this is the third post i’ve made this week structured like this but who cares

“prinxiety” this and “roceit” that. WHERE ARE MY FELLOW ANAROCEIT ENJOYERS? PLEASE DONT TELL ME IM THE ONLY ONE LEFT

[cheesycheesyches]

Anaroceit Week Day 4 - Weather/Tired

There was a bright flash in the window. A couple seconds later, thunder crackled. Roman was getting cozy under some blankets, excited to watch the movie he had picked out. It had taken /ages/ to convince them to watch a rom-com with him, and it was going to be awesome. Virgil trudged in, yawning, and grabbed a pillow off the couch. "Perfect weather for you, huh?" The outside matched his mood usually, but tonight looked like a peaceful night would've done better. "It's nice." He agreed. It thundered again.

He grabbed the remote and got the television started now that almost everyone was here, but then Virgil pulled the blankets off Roman and threw the pillow down instead. "Hey! It's cold!" "Tough luck, Princey." He clambered on the couch, laying his head in the pillow. He didn't mind it whenever Virgil did this, but it generally was a sure sign he was about to fall asleep. "We're going to watch the movie, you sure this is what you want?" A twinge of disappointment ran through him. He had been excited about this.

Janus walked in as Virgil finished getting comfortable. They curled up by his other side, pulling up the blankets Virgil had dropped. "It is cold, isn't it?" He nodded, but realized he had started warming up due to their company. "Are /you/ interested in the movie?" He nudged the emo, hoping to provoke a response. "We both are. It just might be better to wait for a nicer night." "This /is/ a nice night." He had both of them next to him, the remote in his hand, and a rom-com at ready. "They meant nicer weather." Virgil grumbled from underneath his hoodie. As if on cue, there was a giant flash, a beep, and the power went out. "Hey!"

They were supposed to watch the rom-com. He had gotten everything prepared and set up, Janus and Virgil were comfortable, and now the power was out. He was definitely disappointed, but then he realized it was still going to be a nice night. The two of them were already falling asleep (and his legs were numbing), so that wasn't too bad. The sound of the heavy rain pattering the road outside was calming too. "Didn't I tell you it was going to be nice?" Janus nodded their head, and Virgil mumbled a drowsy "Yeah."

@anaroceitweek

[prodigal-explorer]

anaroceit week - day four - it's alright

@anaroceitweek

prompt: rom-com/everyone is trans

relationship: platonic (could be interpreted as romantic/pining) anaroceit

word count: 1.7k

(cw -> transphobic parents, self-hatred, gender dysphoria)

---

“I thought we told you to stop using that name with your teachers.” 

Janus froze as he watched his parents scroll through his computer, unable to move as he did nothing but stare. He should have known not to leave his screen open while getting a glass of water. By now, he should have learned that his parents didn’t consider Janus deserving of any sort of privacy. 

“I did stop,” Janus lied through his teeth. “Mr. Diaz just forgot, that’s all. He’s really forgetful sometimes.” 

“What made you even come up with such a dumb name anyway?” Janus’ father asked, poison in his voice. “Janus. The name we gave you is much more beautiful.” 

“Maybe I don’t want beautiful,” Janus muttered. “Maybe I just want something that’s me.” 

“Your melodramatics are getting old,” Janus’ mother said. “You’re seventeen years old. You need to start acting like an adult. I don’t care what your silly little friends are doing, ruining their bodies and their reputations with all this stupid, disgusting, “trans” stuff. But you aren’t getting pulled down with them. They’re never coming over here again.” 

Janus flinched, but upon hearing his mother's words, an idea popped into his head, and he looked over at his window. No, he tried to tell himself. Too risky.

“Yes, ma’am,” he said. “Can I please finish my homework? It’s due at midnight tonight.” 

“If this happens again, your laptop is being taken,” Janus’ father warned. “You can do your schoolwork the old fashioned way. That’s how your mother and I did it, and we turned out just fine.” 

With that, they left, and Janus was finally able to breathe again. He went and deleted the email from Mr. Diaz after reading its contents, and then deleted everything else in which he was called by his true name. As Janus watched his deadname flash across the screen more times than he could count, he started to feel a deep, unstoppable self-hatred collect in his stomach. 

This wasn’t fair. 

He tried so hard to be who his parents wanted while also being who he truly was. But the two things were impossible to balance, and Janus was starting to wonder if he would have to just pick one. There was no way to make everybody, including himself, happy, and maybe it was time to just stop trying. It was getting too hard to hold everything together; to keep every secret and hide every bit of contraband. 

Before Janus could stop himself, he found himself tearing his pillowcase off his pillow, shoving a toothbrush, his meds, and his most masculine set of pajamas in. Today, after all, was definitely a masculine day, much to his parents’ disappointment. Sure, Janus didn’t mind presenting as feminine sometimes, but honestly, he felt much more at home when he was able to shift and transition how he presented depending on what made him feel the most euphoric on any given day. And the least dysphoric. That part was important too. 

The last thing Janus grabbed was hidden at the bottom of his closet, underneath his bin where he kept his socks: his pronoun pins. The ones he grabbed to wear said “He/Him”, but he took the other two just in case he felt the need to change it out at some point. 

It wasn’t like Janus to go to anybody’s house without texting first, but this was an emergency. After a very risky adventure of climbing out the window and jumping into the nearest bush, Janus was off to the Mendozas. He was just desperate to clear his head and get one night away from his control freak parents. He needed to be somewhere where he could just be himself, without being scared to death of being discovered. 

And the Mendoza house was the best place Janus could think of to do just that. 

Carla had told Janus that he was free to come over whenever he wanted. God, he hoped that she wasn’t just being polite. Carefully, and starting to regret such an impulsive decision, Janus knocked on the door with a timid reluctance. 

It wasn’t Carla or Remus who opened the door. Of course it had to be Roman’s bright, shiny eyes that looked into his and his goofy smile that appeared when he realized that it was Janus he was looking at. 

“Janus!” Roman cried out, “Oh my gosh, are you here for a sleepover?? No way, I was just thinking about inviting you and Virgil over! I would invite Logan too, but tonight’s star-gazing night, and I wouldn’t wanna distract them from that.” 

“True,” Janus hummed nervously, shifting weight between his right and left, causing him to sway awkwardly. “So…does that mean it’s okay for me to come over for the night?” 

“Of course!” Roman said, “Come in, come in! You can put on a movie in the living room if you want.” 

A smile grew on Janus’ face. He loved movies, especially when he was watching them with Roman and Virgil.

“I might just have to take you up on that,” Janus teased softly, ruffling Roman’s hair before going to sit down on the familiar couch. 

Carla was sitting on the recliner, typing on her laptop. She smiled kindly at Janus, and the action made Janus feel a hundred times calmer, somehow. Carla always seemed to have that effect on people, and it was mystifying how she did it. But at the same time, it made perfect sense. Janus figured that anybody who stepped up to the plate of being Roman and Remus’ foster mother had to have some tricks up their sleeve when it came to comforting. Though Roman came across as fearless, Janus was one of the only people who Roman allowed to see in his most vulnerable, fear-stricken moments of honesty, and he was certain that Carla had seen even more than Janus had. 

Curling up into a ball, hugging his knees to his chest, Janus picked up the remote and surfed through all the different streaming surfaces. Rom-coms were a guilty pleasure of Janus, and a very un-guilty pleasure of Roman’s, so Janus figured that it was a safe genre choice. When he finally settled on Candy Jar, Roman came over to sit next to him, but he gave Janus a decent amount of space, clearly unsure of how close Janus was comfortable with him being. 

“Virgil said he can stay the night too!” Roman disclosed with a grin, rocking back and forth on the couch while swinging his legs. “It’ll be the best sleepover ever.” 

“Yeah,” Janus said, starting to relax just a little more. “The best.” 

He pressed start on the movie, but didn’t let it play, wanting to wait until Virgil came around. His stomach was still tumbling, thinking about the inevitable flurry of phone calls and text messages he would get from his parents when they found out that he was gone. Luckily, Janus wasn’t ever dumb enough to tell them Roman’s address. If they tried looking for him, they wouldn’t even know where to start. But even so, the thought of seeing their faces, hearing his deadname get spat at him like venom, made Janus want to curl up into the blanket Roman had passed to him and hide inside forever. 

An arm looped around Janus’ shoulders, squeezing him ever so gently, and reminding him that he wasn’t there. Roman didn’t have to ask. He was the first to admit that he wasn’t the smartest, but in a way, he was. He got people in a way that Janus could never understand. It wasn’t exactly like he could read their minds, but he always seemed to have a trick up his sleeve to make everyone in the room happy. Maybe it was just a part of who he was, or maybe it was something he carefully practiced. Either way, Janus closed his eyes, trying to bask in Roman’s warm existence. 

A few minutes later, the doorbell rang. Janus jumped, and Roman leapt to his feet to get it. Virgil bumbled his way into the living room, his body hunched over and his eyes vacant and tired. Janus sat upright immediately, leaning forward on the couch to try and get a better look. 

“Virgil, are you okay?” he asked. “You look horrible!” 

“It’s- fine…” Virgil mumbled, sitting down beside Janus, still holding his stomach. His ears were tinged red. “It’s nothing. Reall- ow. Oww, fuck-...” 

“Did you get stabbed??” 

“No!” Virgil cried out, finally tearing his hands away from his stomach. Perfectly devoid of injury. “I’m just on.” 

Janus’ eyes widened in understanding, and then softened in pity. He knew how hard this time was for Virgil, and really, for all three of them, it was challenging. Janus could say he was lucky because he sometimes felt feminine during these days, while Roman and Virgil had no source of euphoria anywhere, knowing that their bodies were betraying them, and doing something that didn’t match who they truly were. It was hard to even think about, much less endure and talk about. 

“I’ll get you a heating pad and some chocolate,” Roman said. “Do you want the racecar one?” 

Virgil groaned before nodding. “Yes please,” he mumbled through gritted teeth. 

The racecar heating pad at this point was a Mendoza family tradition. Roman used it for his cramps, and Virgil and Janus eventually started using it for theirs too. Silly as it was, it made the whole ordeal feel just a little less dysphoric and a lot more lighthearted. Janus pressed play on the movie as soon as Roman came back with the warm heating pad and a big bowl of fun-sized chocolates. 

“Ugh, I hate rom-coms,” Virgil joked, wrinkling his nose in mock disgust. “They all have the exact same plot.” 

“No, this one’s different, I swear!” Janus reassured. “It’s funny. You’ll like it.” 

“Both of you be quiet, I wanna hear the movie!” Roman cried out with a laugh, resting his head on Janus’ shoulder. 

Maybe things sucked right now, and Janus didn’t even want to think about what it would be like at home tomorrow after sneaking out. But at least in this moment, it was alright. Roman’s arm went around Janus once again, and the heat from Virgil’s heating pad warmed Janus’ leg, and Janus had forgotten how good Milky Ways were since his parents never allowed candy in the house. 

And Virgil’s cramps were killing him, and it was obvious that Roman was worried sick. 

Things weren’t perfect. But they were alright. And that was good enough for Janus.

[naminethewriter]

A Secret Vision of Style

Day 3 gives Roman a chance to flex his creative muscles! His partners are... a bit worried about his choices, though 😅 @anaroceitweek

Masterpost | Anaroceit Week 2024 Masterpost | Ao3

Summary: Roman is redecorating a room with an… interesting choice of color.

Content Warnings: Anti-minimalism

~~*~~

Janus took a look around the room.

“I know you said that this was an unusual choice and you had a vision but painting the walls grey? Just looks tacky, honey.”

“I’m not done yet, obviously! It’s gonna work, trust me,” Roman defended, paintbrush still in hand.

“I am! Mostly.”

“Are you trying for minimalism or what?” Virgil asked as he joined them. “That’s so not your style, princey.”

“Don’t insult me! I would never be that basic. Just you wait, I have big plans.”

“That you won’t tell us about.”

“It wouldn’t be a surprise otherwise now, would it?”

[anaroceitweek]

Hurray!

From the results of last week's poll, it seems you guys want this event to come back! So come back it shall!

Here's a poll to choose the week in which this event will commence:

Please reblog so those who are interested get to see!

@sanders-sides-events

[korruptbrekker]

Oooh, this looks cool.

1. He knew it would end. [Truth Hurts -- Twoset Violin Virtual Tour - Brettkovsky]

2. The goal was to make a cake. ['Piece of Cake' They Said -- B2TSM - Gen]

3. Pyotr was staring again. [Gravity -- B2TSM - Tchaikstakovich]

4. Dmitri sighed, impatiently tapping the end of his pencil against his desk. [Just Out of Reach (Until You Aren't) -- B2TSM - Tchaikstakovich]

5. They all piled into the car and Wolfgang let out an audible sigh of relief. [Familiar Demons -- B2TSM - Mozanini]

6. Pyotr is sitting on the stone bench in the atrium. [I Hear A Symphony -- B2TSM - Tchaikstakovich]

7. The first thing he noticed was warmth. [Morning Is Too Early For A Fiasco -- B2TSM - Gen]

8. Remus loved weekdays. [Operation Boyfriend -- Sanders Sides - Intrulogical]

9. Andhera sat on a rocky outcropping, trying to ignore the rain above him and only him. [What Friends Are For -- A Court of Fey and Flowers - Gen]

10. It was late. [Anaroceit Week 2022 -- Sanders Sides - Anaroceit]

I love me a good in medias res opening, as shown above. I didn't realize I start a lot of my fics with short sentences but that makes sense because I love it when a fic/book opens with a short, quippy sentence. This is a cool way to look at one's style.

Tags are a request, not a demand, feel free to ignore them! /gen

@infawrit10 @esse-writes @yume-x-hanabi @ anyone else who wants to :)

Ten First Lines Game

Saw this among my followed tags and was soo intrigued! Feel free to also play with this if you see it.

Rules: post the first sentence of your last ten fics. If you haven’t written ten fics, share as many first-sentences as you have.

Jin Ling, westernized name Kevin, had many, many uncles. the curse of the kevins, MDZS/CQL, gen

Lan Wangji walks sedately towards the Jingshi, a tray laden with food in his arms. softer eyes on a softer world, MDZS/CQL, Wangxian

Wei Ying is, objectively, having a good time at college. Am I Gay? Questions to Ask Yourself, MDZS/CQL, Wangxian

In the summer, Xichen leaves for university in Beijing. wildflowers in autumn, MDZS/CQL, Wangxian

The phone rings, tinny and persistent by his bedside table. midnight love, MDZS/CQL, Sangxian (WWX/NHS)

In the years after Wei Wuxian’s death, the ghost of him follows Jiang Cheng around. for years and years, MDZS/CQL, vaguely Chengxian

Pete doesn’t remember how the brawl started. i'll promise you impossible things, Kinnporsche, Vegaspete

There is something about mornings that is quiet and peaceful and fuzzy around the edges. like the edge of a blade, Kinnporsche, Vegaspete

Sleep has never come easily to Eddy. in the ribs of the singer, Twoset Violin RPF, Breddy

It was five in the morning, and Eddy was awake for no goddamned reason. Prelude to Love, Twoset Violin RPF, Breddy

Well, that was a fun activity lol. Most of my fics seem to start with either a setting + mood, or a character doing something. The thing is though, in "wildflowers in autumn" Xichen isn't even there for most of it, which I find absolutely hilarious because Xichen both starts and ends the fic in a borderline hero's journey that you only hear about through his absence in the fic :D

Just goes to show there isn't any one way to start a fic I guess! Super grateful to have the chance to show off some of my more recent babies, which I think deserve more love 🥺 surprise of surprises, I don't singularly write for wangxian even though it feels like it sometimes :D

Let me know which lines were your favourite/were most intriguing for you! Happy reading <3

Oh right almost forgot to tag! @elliekayy @marsdiogenes @nattyontherun @sparkly-butthole-on-ao3