#it just happened during a school day
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now that I can think semi-coherently again...whooooo's ready for Friday WEEHOO
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#stage in playful land#stage in playfulland#i've only had gidel for a day and a half et cetera you know the rest#guidel? gider? ah yes. what's that romanization. my favorite game#i'm gonna go with fellow and gidel until something official comes out i guess#anyway HEY it's spooky carnival time where everybody wears hats and then probably turns into puppets or something! i'm excited!#yuu and grim are probably going to be there also which means it doesn't canonically take place during glorious masquerade#which is unfortunate because that really is the most hilarious possibility#ace and deuce in unison: ugh you won't BELIEVE what happened while you were gone#these boys cannot just have one nice day without someone trying to take over the school or destroy all magic forever or something#such is life in twisted wonderland
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anyone interested in talking about the iconic 2000's middle-grade-bordering-on-ya book series gallagher girls??
#okay incoming rant about this series#i read the first book when i was 10 or 11 and i was absolutely obssessed with it. i read it so many times i had the entire story memorized#the issue was that i could not find the rest of the series anywhere. it was either sold out or out of stock#and then i found out that only the first 3 books had been translated into my first language so at that point i kinda gave up on them#anyway#flashforward to a couple of weeks ago#i was re organizing my bookshelf and on the back i found LYKY (is this how y'all are abreviating it??)#and remembred how much i loved it#and since i'm now fluent in english and was stuck at home recovering from a surgery i decided to download the entire series and read it#to find out what the fuck happened afterwards#long story short i read all six books in 4 or 5 days#and i haven't stopped thinking about them since#it's actually so funny how little information we have in the first book#i went all of these years thinking it was mostly a silly series about a boarding school for spies when actually SO MUCH happens afterwards#i can't believe i went all of these years unaware of zach goode's existence#truly character of all time#but also i can't stop thinking about how interesting it would have been if zach had come to hate the circle and his mom during the series#rather than before#make it a true enemies to lovers#and have us witness that portion of his character developement in real time instead of being told about it#like him slowly realizing through cammie and his time at gallagher that maybe what they were doing is wrong#i think it would have been very interesting to read#although let's be real it took me until halfway through book four to trust him and he was fully one of the good guys so..#but yeah i have a lot more to say but these tags are long enough#gallagher girls#okay i just want to add another funny anecdote about my experience with this series#my copy of LYKY has an age warning in the back recomending that readers should be above 13 yo to read it#and i distinctly remember finishing it and thinking the warning was kind of dumb bcs besides a few mentions of death and other heavier topi#nothing really happened#and now i realize it was a warning for the rest of the series not just the first book because jesus fucking chirst everything after
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Do you ever think about how there totally could have been an old classmate of Phoenix Wright and Miles Edgeworth in the audience during like turnabout sister or turnabout samurai. Do you think they would realize? Like “hey, were those the guys in my class in like fourth grade? I kinda remember them. Wonder if they remember each other. But it was so long ago, I doubt they would even care.” Meanwhile Edgeworth and Phoenix are undergoing the most insane mental battles where both of them are going “I recognize my best friend across the courtroom and I desperately want to be close with them again.” And “god he is so god damn annoying I wish he would die already.”
#ace attorney#miles edgeworth#Phoenix Wright#not specifically ship so I won’t tag it but kinda ship if you get it#the classmate usually sits in courtroom trials because they love the drama#and honestly they like miles Edgeworth’s cases cause ‘hey I know that guy’#but of course they don’t like go up and talk to him cause they weren’t really that close and he left kinda abruptly#cause knowing someone for like a year in elementary school and then pestering them about why they left 15 years later is a weird thing to do#course Phoenix comes in and now the classmate now has to deal with the knowledge that the defense and prosecution used to always eat lunch#together and play superhero’s during recess with that really weird kid who was always up to no good#what if one day the classmate was like ‘maybe I should introduce them to each other again. sure that we would all get a laugh or two in and-#-that would be the end of it and they would continue with their lives as normal people. they certainly wouldn’t get super gay and awkward-#-about the whole thing and just be completely chill.’#god what would happen and Edgeworth v state?#the classmate would probably leave the third day like ‘I am a changed person. I can never go back to not knowing so much about this person.’#and like they wouldn’t be able to say or do anything cause like??? how do you even have that conversation???#‘hey I know you don’t remember me but I like sitting in the audience of courtroom trials and I was there for your case and I just want to-#-ask are you good? like honestly do you need someone to talk to?’
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how many people actually care about the fact that we dont see the furin kids sitting in their classroom and learning shit
#wind breaker#wind breaker (satoru nii)#LIKE. GENUINELY I WANT TO KNOW#i personally do not give a shit#satoru nii said that they do in fact learn stuff and hes just not gonna show it cause its not relevant to the plot#and i think that makes perfect sense!#wind breaker is found family and turf wars between gangs#i dont need to see that theyre learning algebra science or history#the turf wars the patrols etc all happen outside of school hours#probably the only time the kids were fighting during school hours was the keel arc#considering 1-1 just up and left#but even then classes couldve been over for the day#IDK i never cared that its not shown#i just see a lot of people (and i mean a fuckin LOT) always bringing it up#and im just like?? does that matter that much to you?#king talks
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I would actually kind of like the “becomes a doctor and takes over Leslie’s clinic” story…for Damian.
NOT because I think it would be ~ethical~ or idk whatever-the-fuck.
I just really love the concept of Damian having this “I HAVE A BIG IMPORTANT DESTINY” backstory/lineage/bloodline …
…SON OF THE BAT, and all that jazz…
But when he connects with Gotham and the people in it—because Batman should be connected to the people he’s protecting—Damian realizes that he doesn’t actually WANT “his” destiny.
And it’s not about rejecting Batman or his father or his mother or anything like that, but instead about taking what he’s learned and what they’ve given him and shaping it to fit himself.
#Damian Wayne#meta I guess?#obviously no judgment for the people who like Batman!Damian—he’s just not for me.#i mean my dream Damian series is a pretty much entirely ‘mundane’ combo of noir and slice-of-life…#…to contrast his epic background with the regular fucking people that he’s taken on protecting by becoming a Gotham vigilante.#i think also one of the elements would be commenting on the Bats’ (and Bruce in particular) Control Freak tendencies…#and the theme that you really can’t ‘control’ life.#for example: an element of drama could be that Damian checks in with people during patrol/during cases but…#he still has to go to school and do normal life stuff. (or normal for him.)#so during the *day*—maybe one of his ‘people he is friendly with’ has some mundane bad thing happen to them and dies.#like idk maybe an old lady friend has a heart attack and dies.#what do you do when there isn’t an enemy to fight?#just ‘move on’? isn’t the whole reason they do what they do predicated on his father NOT accepting that he should ‘just move on’?#anyway there would also be metacommentary about the nature of comics and that…#…you don’t really have control about what happens after your series or after your run.#or even what happens to a character YOU create.
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🫖🐭☁️🍚
#so i did meet my old friend from years ago yesterday. i was sooooo nervous omgggg. and i was waiting outside the café we agreed on#and then saw them walk in and i was like omgggg. the anxiety... but then i gathered courage and walked towards it and thry saw me thru the#window and came out and immediately hugged me. then they were like 'omg i've been so nervous. even more than before like a date!!'#so that made me relax a bit. i feel like i dont really fully estimate what i mean to them. maybe they care about me as well haha !!#then we just got our stuff and i chose a smoothie and was ready to pay but they just got it with their stuff (they work at this chain so#they got a discount). i feel so so bad & anxious when someone else pays for me. like i feel like a burden#but i asked twice if i should send them money for it and they were like no that's fine. so i had to tell myself to just shut up abt it 🥲#bc if u keep asking u make it into a thing and make them uncomfortable etc. so i really appreciated that and it was nice even if i felt bad#but yeah then we just sat down and talked. and it was so much easier to talk to them than i had been worried abt#like it flew nicely and yeah.. i feel like i forgot a lot abt them. like they're good at conversating. so they kept it going & even if i was#awkward it was fine for them. i did however get swept up in my own anxiety so as they asked me questions i answered#but then was too whirlwindy so i didnt really ask as much back and there were things i wanted to ask but didnt :')))#then they had cards and a card game with them. so we played for a bit too. and it was a lot of fun!!! (i was anxious and kinda slow lmao#bc when i dont know smth or the rules etc already my brain stops working so yeah.. even if it was simple games i was like um um what do i do#felt stupid but yeah again they didnt do anyhing to contribute to me feeling stupid but i still felt slow >.<#but i still thought that was so much fun. i wanna do more of that T-T like yeah...that was nice#then we took a lil longer walk to a bus stop before hastily said goodbye bc the busses came T-T#it was really really really nice tho. i have missed them a lot#and i didnt .. think we would ever see eachother again. i really didnt think this could happen#im so glad i somehow got brave enough to message them and im so so glad they wanted to see me too#i cant help but wish i could go back to when we were younger#and we spent every day in school together and messaged during the days and evenings and spent sm time together#when we went into the city like several times a week and took long walks. ahh... well. im glad we got to have those moments#& idk what will happen now. i really really want to see them again. even if we'll never be that close friends again i'd *wish* that we could#still be in touch. but im so bad at replying which doesnt go over great with them.. i'll try my best to reply quicker to them#*if* they message me. sadly i cant erase my avpd but i'll try my best to reply faster if and when they message)#they also complimented my sweater i was wearing (which is my fav sweater) !!!! and yeah.. they looked so cool. which they always have#and i kept thinking abt how nice their eye makeup was (i was too shy to compliment it tho bc im really bad at like 'nice' affectionate and#anything feeling related. like im so bad... so i couldnt say anything </3)#ugh it was just so nice to sit and talk with them. im so glad i went despite my fears. bc this was so good and nice :')))
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Just found out that the project I spent literally all day busting my ass finishing is actually not due today... it's due next week. I had this date wrong for a full month... Atleast it's done!
...I also realised I had an exam date wrong earlier today too..
...My struggle with literacy continues
#literally spent all day just working on this music project#this keeps happening#but atleast I got it wrong being early rather than being late#I am so tired#my art#me#sketch#furry#fursona#university#furry art#in my defense I was borderline illiterate until high school#my school made me do classes during role call in a desperate attempt to get me up to snuff
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tbh when mitski said “you’re my best friend/now i’ve no one to tell/how i lost my best friend”
#my freshman year of college my best friend and I were both a wreck#and on opposite sides of the country#during winter break I made the decision to share certain information with their parents bc I was actively concerned for their safety#they were deeply upset about me betraying their trust like that and asked for a break in our friendship#(a few months later (which happened to be early March 2020. lol) they did shrooms and realized they wanted to talk to me again lmao)#(so we talked and cried and now we’re still best friends almost 4 years later)#and my birthday is in january so it fell right in the middle of the period we weren’t talking#and my friends at school actually put together a really lovely party and it remains to this day the best bday party ive had#(most of my bdays have been sad and shitty lol)#but i just remember being drunk in my friends dorm room with my friends all around me#it was the end of the night people were just kinda chatting in little groups or whatever#and i was lying on my friends bed just miserable bc all I could think about was how my best friend was supposed to be there too#bc my parents were going to fly them out for the weekend as a present#and obviously that just got dropped#and id been talking to my friends about it kind of but all I wanted was my actual best friend#I left them a very embarrassing drunk voicemail that THANK GOD they deleted without listening to#but it’s just. the quiet agony of being angry and sad and hurt because your person doesn’t want to be ur person anymore#and still wanting to talk to them about it. still needing them to comfort you and give you their advice and insights#i don’t want to talk to anyone else about it. they’re not you.#sigh. anyway. ive actually lost several close friends for various reasons ranging from reasonable to bullshit#and it always blindsides me how much I want to talk to THEM about it#so thanks mitski for expressing that so artfully#op
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i should stop starting video games so late at night bc now i dont want to sleep <3
#camera talks#just started in stars and time :33#(saw too many mutuals kinda posting about it and also i heard it had time loops <3)#very very fun for me so far i am enjoyinggg <3#this happened to me with strange horticulture the other day tho and i played like. 75% of my playthrough between 9pm-1am so yah#anyways. made more bread after i stopped wallowing#it is currently cooking and im very excited :))#also emailed my boss about the situationn earlier so that was fun /s#wont get to eat it tonight bc i has to cool But !! fresh bread for the morning before my dentist i suppose#still very worried about that ngl.#also have to drive there and then around the 'big city' with my sister#(its the big city to Us. and we have a little bit of school shopping to do cuz we dont go to this city with my nana when she takes us)#but i will go to sleep dw <33 just reluctantly#i love the rock paper scissors thing in isat btw it makes me so happy ngl#also sorry for the number of concerning posts ive had recently btw. ive had a tough august </3#(normally im chill during august idk what happened </33)#i am trying to get better. it will happen eventually
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I need to stop being too scared to go downstairs
CW: eating weird again in tags
#i was very confused on why i felt so horrible and i couldn't figure it out. but i just did thing i did yesterday but inverse.#i had breakfast and half a sandwich for lunch. but nothing for dinner.#i was too scared to go downstairs. because i thought i would get in trouble for eating late. but i didn't.#i just spent hours think that was going to happen#i had some chips queso and salsa verde. ive never has salsa verde before. it tastes green. but its spicer than red salsa.#i also got a juice pouch. i don't think i know how to schedule what i eat during off days. during school this doesn't really happen.#i also still have food in my room so im not sure why i didn't try that either.#i also wanted cereal orginally. but i waited so long that its already empty. and i didn't feel like opening the big box. so i just got-#chips.
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thinking about nora again
#fallout#okay first of all her full maiden name is lenore dubrovhsky#she's somehow related to the russian diplomat who is the grandfather of natalia dubrovhsky#maybe his niece? idk but she immigrated to the us after meeting nate during his tour because she claimed she was IN LOVE#i imagine she was in her late teens and nate was in his early 20s#and she falls for him and he promises he'll help her with going to college in the US and they'll have an equal marriage yadda yadda#so they get married and nora becomes a lawyer#so they've been married around seven years and she's doing her training as a legal secretary when oops! she becomes pregnant#(nate sabotaged her birth control but shhh she doesn't know that)#so nate persuades her into putting her career on hold just for a little while until they can start putting their son in daycare#(shaun takes heavily after nora's side of the family to the point nate jokes about whether his DNA had any say at all)#(he also later joins the army and dies in action)#so nora's being kept at home all the time. taking care of the kid. cooking all the meals. cleaning the house. barely any time for herself#and she gets so frazzled she gets into a minor car accident while taking shaun home from the doctor#nate freaks out and confiscates her car keys so now she can barely get out of the house without him on her arm#barely any adult social interaction and any family she could have had keeping her company was all the way over in russia#so she has a quickie with a door-to-door salesman and when her next kid pops out with red hair#the lack of resemblance to nate stops being funny#he agrees not to leave her but says he can't trust her at home alone anymore so he gets her a job at shaun's elementary school as a teacher#this happened around when shaun was 11 and he's harbored a hatred for his mom and his sister ever since#nate promised to raise the girl like his own but he's distant with her which rubbed off on shaun#so the girl. i'm calling her annabelle. TOTAL mommy's girl. wants to be just like her#so when shaun's seventeen he fakes his enlistment papers so he can be enlisted early and dies in combat#i imagine nora misses the baby boy she raised and is utterly upset he turned out this way#and by 'this way' i mean i imagine him as a patriotic misogynist and nora does not hold kind feelings towards the US for various reasons#nate was proud of his son for dying for a cause he believed in#so when annabelle's six nora gets pregnant again and that's when i imagine the bombs drop#the school nora works for is a really privileged private school (nate comes from old money) and that's where the cryo pods come in!#i imagine it would be like a 'saving america's youth for a brighter tomorrow' thing idk#also the day the bombs dropped nora killed nate before heading off to work. woulda been totally caught had the bombs not dropped HEYOOOO
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#i have to say this somewhere or im gonna go crazy#so at a preschool. you HAVE to have one adult sitting at every table when kids are eating. and you also need a person in the hall#for kids getting their lunchboxes and going to the bathroom and shit ok. are you with me here. this makes sense#so today. my 2 coworkers had already taken the chairs bc i got caught up in the hall but i was so fucking hungry that i just ate standing u#which was fine. like i could just put my lunch down if someone needed my help and i Did that ok it was fine. no one was left alone#but later at SNACKTIME. it took me forever to get these 2 kids in the room and seated ready to eat & by the time i got in some kids were#already finished and ready to go to the playroom. so i was like ok i guess I'm not eating for the latter half of the day because they cant#be left alone. and my 2 coworkers at this point were sitting with the snackers and they looked fine so i looked after the Players#intermittently glancing to the snack tables to make sure everyone was fine mind you#So what happened here was.#There was a 20 second interval between the time i glanced up to see 2 adults at the snack table. And the time i glanced up to see#a completely unsupervised snack table. one kid STANDING UP ON THE TABLE blowing raspberries and pointing at the other kids#could not have been more than 20 or 30 seconds that i wasn't looking and NO ONE TOLD ME they were leaving the room#if i had been WARNED that they were leaving i would have prioritized the snackers and sat with them so no one choked and no one fucking#stood on the table#but they both just left for whatever reason without saying anything#and when i brought it up after school they were just like. well marty you were eating too much during lunch#next time you should eat before coming in to work so you can give the kids your full attention#??????? i already skipped a meal today for that exact reason?? how is it my fault that i don't want to starve?#am i actually in the wrong here because it's driving me FUCKING nuts. that was NOT a safe situation and it obviously can NOT happen again#but the issue was a lapse in communication not me wanting to eat food so i don't actually die#and those were two different times of day so they're not even relevant#obviously there are bigger issues in the world than this but i feel like throwing up over it. this was not my fault#I'm sorry that you guys can survive off of like 1 spoonful of granola and a single acai berry for the entire day but im not built like that
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What if my name was Emily. Just Emily, no Mia involved whatsoever, just good ol fashioned E M I L Y
There's even nicknames ! Em, Emmy, Emma (it's literally a different name but some people use it as a nickname??), so many more options than Mia
#really souring on the name mia as of late#like I only half picked the name through pretty dumb circumstances#it was suggested as the best option to me by a rando school counselor for a reason that didn't even end up being followed through on#and for the past like decade I've been the at best androgynous guy people know that just so happens to go by mia#ignoring all the weird gender nuances I feel I know nobody saw me as a girl during that time#not to mention the sheer number of people that know both my (former) preference for mia and my dead name. not a fan of that#but now I'm on hrt and although I don't pass I can make it very very obvious I'm not a cis male at least#and I'm moving in a few months and nobody there needs to think of me as either a cis guy or by my dead name#even if they're dicks about it I'd rather be the tranny emily than Weird Cis Guy Named Mia that everyone saw (well. sees) me as#god I feel like I've end up thinking about this every time I can't fall asleep these days#it's either that or my totally normal and normal (not to mention normal) feelings regarding [-]#I wish I wasn't out of edibles already damn I just wanna sleep#god I need to shut up#I might be very sleeped deprived. experts say it may be possible#this isn't even a big deal why do I care so much about it and why am I so nervous to actually follow through on it. nobody else cares
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Did you get to eat? Just been worried that you didn't in all honesty.
i had rice and a sandwich
#i always eat 2 meals a day + a ton of snacks#only times i dont are if extremely hyperfocused (very rare and has only happened during past LMK season drops)#or if im really sick (in which case i probably eat a bit of bread or toast and thats it#it took a lot to get me back into eating more than just prepackaged banana bread when i was in middle school#(due to OCD based fear of contamination issues)#so i dont skip on eating food
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#shouldn't have shoved aside the panic attack that was building last night#when I had to leave work during a massive snow storm#because that overwhelmed feeling carried over into today#and im exhausted and I'm about 2seconds from losing my shit but i cant AGAIN because i have to get ready for work#my shift starts in just over an hour lmao#and i feel like a raging bitch#all snappy and nasty#but really im stretched too thin#and im terrified#of not getting into grad school of this forever being my fuckin life#but also because my health is bad but my brother's is worse and i just watched something terrifying happen to him#(something in his neck temporarily dislocated)#and i just#im so SICK of everything being shitty#im so sick of our shitty medical system and how my brother cant find anyone to take him seriously and actually help him#and i go each day wondering if... if. and i can't handle it. and if i get into grad school I'll be leaving the state...#and if something.....#i know ive put my life on hold for my parents because im afraid of what ifs and my dad's health has ALSO been shit#(i love growing up with a parent that casually says stuff like I Wont Be Alive By Then. or When Im Dead-. all the time.)#and ive been terrified of leaving Just In Case. and every time my brother's health goes bat shit sideways again i freeze and panic#and I don't have TIME to panic or freeze rn but as im well aware the body will make you take a break if you don't make time for one#it's all BS & im tired & lost & i want so BADLY to get into this particular school but i feel Guilty for wanting to leave so fucking badly#idk what to fuckin do#☉#tbd#im gonna cry. or be sick lol. maybe both.
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[opposite of a vent post]
i had a wonderful day yesterday :)
best day i’ve had in a while
i had three decently balanced meals, school went ok (the bar is low, but still), i had a good day at work, got myself a treat before i went home, and even after a long day i mustered up enough energy to do my complete skin care/ person hygiene routine. and i went to bed not super late. i was productive, took care of myself, and got to spend a bit of time with my friends and family throughout the day. i didn’t feel like shit.
i hope y’all readying this have a day like that too
#i haven’t had a day this consistently pleasant since#ever#i think that was the most pleasant day i’ve ever had#it wasn’t perfect#no day is perfect#but even with being late to work and fucking up a quiz at school and all these other little things that could’ve gotten me down#i just didn’t pay them any mind#idk how exactly it happened but yesterday i didn’t feel like shit at any point during the day#i didn’t feel alone worthless fatigued scared ugly stupid#none of that#at any point#it was amazing#i hope you get to have a day like that too
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