#or if im really sick (in which case i probably eat a bit of bread or toast and thats it

[lunar-wandering]

Did you get to eat? Just been worried that you didn't in all honesty.

i had rice and a sandwich

[inglourious-imagines]

The Story of Their Lives (Lt. Aldo Raine)

Requested by: @tealaquinn

Summary: The story of Lt. Aldo Raine and Sgt. Y/N Y/L/N.

Prompts: 9 - Don't you touch her. & 12 - No one would hurt you again, or I'd kill them. & 21 - I wanna see how you lose control. & 24 - He's a badass with a good heart. & 39 - Kiss me. & 93 - You make me feel... you make me feel.

Author's Note: This is damn long so I really hope you like it! Also there are some parts in Italian so I'd like you to know, I've never learnt this language so there might be some mistakes. Feel free to send request or let me know if you wanna be tagged in these ♡

Taglist: @alienoresimagines @radiantcade @meteora-fc @kyra3155 @real-fans @not-john-watsons-blog @im-in-love-with-queen

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.

.

Y/N and Aldo never showed some kind of an affection towards each other. They respected, trusted, appreciated the other one but these traits were common among the Basterds.

It seemed so innocent at first, almost like a teasing and none of the Jewish American soldiers expected to become it something more.

•••

They met at the very beginning of the Basterd's missions. Y/N was a french spy, a very famous one so she obviously got their attention since they'd gotten to France.

The Basterds recruited her in a bar and she immediately became one of them. Y/N fit within the group perfectly, like she was always destined to be a Basterd.

•••

After the third successful mission, they decided to stay the night in a local resistance hotel to relax and prepare for another action. Everyone went to their beds as soon as they could but Donny persuaded Y/N and Aldo to gamble a little before the sleep. 

"C'mon, just one game!" Donny pleaded. It didn't take much and the trio was sitting around a table playing their fifth game.

"I thought you're better at poker, Lieutenant." Y/N laughed as she grabbed another money she won.

"Shut up, Sergeant. I just am a bit lenient with ya, that's all." Aldo fought back, trying to cover the fact he's worse with cards than Hugo trying to actually smile for once. 

"Show me what you got, Lieutenant. I wanna see how you lose control." she winked at him and dealt the cards.

•••

Something changed in Aldo this evening. At first, Y/N was just another soldier sticking up for her country trying to end the war. But now he saw her in a totally different light.

He noticed what colour her eyes have, how she always ties her hair in a braid. 

He noticed how her cheeks blushed when he praises her after a good work.

He noticed how she scrunches her nose when she disagrees with someone. 

All those little things were filling his head. Aldo was so full of it. It was during the other mission when he completely understood his feelings.

•••

One moment and his whole world flipped. 

Aldo was so angry with himself that he missed such an important thing.

Like a gun. 

The German soldier was just kneeling in front of Aldo when he reached in his pocket. It all happened so quickly then.

The German pulled out a gun and with one last defiance he pulled the trigger. But it wasn't Aldo who got hit. 

It was the woman behind him.

Aldo was like deprived of his senses. He threw away the piece of bread he was eating and jumped at the German. If Wicki didn't pulled him back, Aldo would probably beat the guy to death.

And that was Donny's speciality.

"Don't you fuckin' touch her! Or look at her!" Aldo shouted hitting his face with his fist one more time.

Y/N was so taken away by his behaviour, not really sure where the anger got from.

"What the hell, Lieutenant?" she frowned, "it's just a goddamn scratch on my arm. The bullet didn't even hit me properly." 

Aldo froze whereas Donny and Hugo looked at each other with knowing smiles. They finally realised what was going on.

"Are you sure you're okay?" he tried to brush it off, gesturing to the Basterds to continue with the scalping. "It's fuckin' bleedin' a lot!"

"It's fine. Nothing too serious, Lieutenant." Y/N replied.

Aldo just shook his head as he took off his scarf and tied it around the wound. "No one would hurt ya again, or I'd kill 'em."

•••

The Basterds got ordered to rest a bit because there was a big mission on its way. They didn't know what it was but they all welcomed a full night sleep.

But Y/N didn't feel like going to bed. Instead, she took her cigarettes and sat at the balcony of the apartment they got settled in.

It was a chilly night but she didn't mind. She actually liked cold more than heat.

"Aldo seems a bit off lately." Donny's voice broke the silence as he positioned himself next to her.

"What you mean?" she asked offering him a cigarette which he gladly accepted. 

"Remember how he beated up the German officer two weeks ago? I've never seen him like that."

"Oh Donny. He's just a badass with a good heart. I assure you, Aldo's just fine."

Donny shrugged but didn't say anything. This wasn't his secret to tell even though the change in Aldo's behaviour towards her was so damn obvious. 

Donowitz glanced at Y/N smiling a bit. He understood why Aldo fell for the female Basterd. 

•••

Bridget von Hammersmark was laying in front of them with a bullet in her leg while Hugo, Archie and Wicki were dead.

Y/N was standing in the corner of the room, lost in her thoughts, mourning for her lost friends. She knew something like that had to happen but she also believed in Basterds and part of her thought that they'll all come back home one day.

Y/N wasn't able to look at the actress anymore. She quickly left the room not looking at anyone while she lighted her cigarette. It'd been becoming too much to handle for her.

"Are you alright?" Aldo frowned as he walked towards her. "You still in?"

She laughed sarcastically at his question sheaking her head. "Yeah, of course, business. I'm in, Lieutenant."

"I didn't mean in like that and ya know it."

"Yeah, sorry. It's just-"

"I know, Sergeant. This whole event got me thinkin'. I gotta tell you something."

Y/N threw away her cigarette as she looked directly at him. She wasn't sure if it was the light or the sentiment, but Aldo's eyes never seemed so beautiful to her like they did in that moment. 

"The truth is," Raine began as he stepped closer, "you make me feel... you make me feel, Sergeant."

•••

When Y/N stepped into the room in a black plain tight dress, the conversation between the Basterds immediately stopped. They'd never seen her in anything but in uniform or the civilian clothes. Donny dropped the glass of whiskey he was drinking, Hugo's knife fell on the ground with a loud crash, Omar and Wicki stayed there with their mouths wide opened, Archie Hicox smirked and Aldo, Aldo was taken away and wasn't able to get out a word.

"Please, gentlemen! This is how you welcome a beautiful woman? She looks magnificent!" Bridget von Hammersmark exclaimed gesturing towards Y/N.

"It's so uncomfortable," Y/N frowned and tried to adjust the dress a little, "and so impractical." 

"I think it's perfect." Aldo breathed out and Bridget smiled in satisfaction.

Y/N truly looked like a completely new person. And Aldo's feelings mixed once again. She was so special to him, like water is special to desert. His life was dry without an excitment. She was the water that refreshed him after a long time of loneliness.

•••

Bridget, Aldo, Y/N, Donny and Omar stepped into the small local cinema, already so full of Nazi officers.

"It makes me sick." Y/N snorted as she looked around on the German uniforms. "I have two knives and a gun and I'm not afraid to use them right now."

Aldo laughed next to her and gallantly put his hand on her hip pulling her closely to him.

"Just relax, darlin'. We'll do that later." Aldo winked at her, not letting her go for a moment.

Bridget suddenly seemed like she'd seen a ghost. An older man approached their little group and Y/N immediately understood with whom they have the honor.

Bridget and Hans Landa shared a short conversation before they turned to them. Hammersmark formally introduced the Basterds and Y/N flinched a little under the German's look. Aldo noticed right away her change of attitude and stroked her hip gently.

"Sei assolutamente incredibile, signorina! Ho notato che molti ufficiali hanno voltato la testa dopo di te." (You look absolutely stunning, miss! I noticed that many officers turned their head after you.) Hans Landa grinned and Y/N thought it was the most disgusting thing ever.

"Grazie mille signore. Sono sicuro che stai esagerando." (Thank you very much, sir. I'm sure you're exaggerating.) Y/N faked a smile and clenched her hand in fist to remain calm.

All of the Basterds with Bridget jerked their heads towards her. Her fluent Italian took them away as well as Landa.

"Quanto amo la lingua italiana! E dalla bocca di una donna così bella, è una musica per le mie orecchie." (How I love the Italian language! And from the mouth of such a beautiful lady, it's a music for my ears.)

"Mi stai adulando, signor Landa. Non hai un brutto aspetto." (You're flattering me, Mr Landa. You don't look so bad yourself.) Y/N felt like vomitting any next second. 

Aldo had enough of Landa's fake attitude, especially how Y/N looked so stressed and angry. He decided he has to step in or she won't hold herself back. Aldo recalled the one sentence he learnt yesterday, just in case he'd need to interrupt a moment in a formal way. This was the time.

"Baciami, adesso." (Kiss me, right now.) he stated and pulled Y/N even closer than before. She didn't manage to prostest or ask a quick question and their lips touched. She returned the kiss immediately and ran her fingers through his hair.

Until someone coughed.

They pulled apart from each other, Aldo smiling widely like a winner and Y/N blushing harder than ever.

"Ci scusi signore. Il mio ragazzo qui è un tipo appassionato. Devi perdonarlo." (Excuse us, sir. My boyfriend here is the passionate kind. You must forgive him.) Y/N stuttered and but looked directly at Landa.

•••

Operation Kino was over and it was now only her, Aldo and Utivich. They lost everybody along the way. They stood together side by side through everything. They'd become something stronger than family, friends, lovers. They faced death together and nothing could break the bond they'd created over the years. It was time to go home.

Y/N stood on the ship that was taking the Basterds, or what was left of them, home. The wind was dancing on her hair whispering secrets in her ears.

"I never thought I'd make it back home." Aldo Raine appeared next to her with a cigarette between his lips.

"None of us thought so, Lieutenant." she nodded, "but the difference is, we were wrong. Not them."

"Smart as always." Aldo grinned as he turned to her. "You should stop calling me Lieutenant. The war's over."

Y/N giggled at his statement and he could swear he'd never heard something so melodic, something so right. 

"It kinda sticked with you, Lieutenant."

Aldo didn't answer, instead he threw away the cigarette and took some deep breaths. He needed whiskey, or anything else that would give him at least a bit of courage.

Aldo Raine fought in war, he saw his friends die, he was broken by everything he saw and still, asking Y/N a simple question seemed harder than surviving the bloodshed.

"Spill it out, Lieutenant." she laughed as she glanced at him. 

"I hate how ya always do that. But here it goes," Aldo replied, "I've never been good at this so I'll just keep it short."

He stopped for a moment and stared at the woman in front of him. As he stepped closer, his heart was already racing like it'd never before.

"Why don't ya come to the States with me? We can buy some little house in the Smoky Mountains and live there for the rest of our fuckin' lives." Aldo confessed in his Raine kind of way, looking at her with so much hope in his eyes. 

"Is this some kind of your proposal?" Y/N chuckled as she intertwined her fingers with his.

"Maybe."

"I thought you'd never ask! Of course I'll come with you! You're everything I have, Aldo." 

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Home - Part 12

A few weeks went by with no sign of Jack, Sam hadn't been able to find any trace of him still being in town. It was like he had a fallen off the face of the earth! .... i could only hope that was true!

Things had finally started to settle down, Pepper had called Bucky to tell him Ms Harper had been transferred to another school with a warning, one more wrong step and she would no longer have a career working with children. We were happy with this outcome as it meant she was away from Allie. Allie now had a new teacher, Mr Lang who she loved and said was so funny!

Bucky had sat Chloe down the day after her outburst at the house and told her that she was to show me the same respect as she gave to him, he had told her we were together and that the way she had treated me was unacceptable even if i was ‘just the nanny’! I had only seen her a couple times since and she had been perfectly fine with me but i could tell there was definitely still some jealously there.

I had also met Sam's wife Wanda who was lovely! We got along like a house on fire from the start, much to the amusement of Bucky, Steve and Sam. I was actually meant to be meeting her for coffee with Rosie today after dropping the girls at the school. But i had woken up feeling awful.... i went downstairs to find Bucky and the girls already sitting at the table dressed for the day and having breakfast.

"Morning, you feeling okay? you look a little pale" Bucky asked looking up from his iPad that he was reading the news on.

"I think I'm getting sick, i feel awful" i shook my head avoiding the coffee pot and grabbing a bottle of water and some Advil "my head and my throat hurts and i feel real shaky...."

"Go back to bed doll, i'll take the girls to school"

"What about Rosie?"

"I'll call Steve"

"You cant keep calling Steve, he has work too you know" i laughed and regretted it instantly when it started a coughing fit.

"Go to bed, i'll be up in a minute to check on you".

"Fine, but only because i might actually pass out if i dont lay down" i mumbled before heading back upstairs, i heard my phone start ringing from where it was charging in the kitchen and i soon heard Bucky answer it.

"Hey Wanda...... think you girls are going to have to reschedule. Yeah sorry, Y/N's sick i've just sent her back to bed" was the last thing i heard before falling into Bucky's bed and wrapping the covers around me.

"Doll..... doll I'm just going to drop the girls at school" Bucky was suddenly saying from beside me stroking my hair back from my face.

"Okay.... what about Rosie?"

"Wanda is going to take her for a few hours while i go into the office to deal with a few things. Will you be okay on your own for a while?"

"Yes dad i'll be fine home alone" i rolled my eyes at him which was a huge mistake, the sudden movement had me bolting out of the bed and rushing to the bathroom emptying my stomach in the toilet.

"I think I'm dying Buck" i moaned reaching for the flush as he walked in handing me my bottle of water.

"Your not pregnant are you!?" He suddenly asked making a joke of it but also part of him was serious.

"No Buck I'm not pregnant, I'm on birth control. Im just sick" i said stumbling back to bed "i'll be fine after some more sleep".

"Right, of course you are. I was just messing with you sweetheart" he chuckled before leaning down to place a kiss on my forehead.

"Dont get too close, i dont want you getting sick too"

"I'll be fine" he smiled down at me before finally leaving to take the girls to school.

The next fews days i was a mess! I had been in bed for most of it apart from when Bucky took me to see the doctor. I wasn't getting any better and i wasn't sleeping and he was getting worried about me. The doctor said I had a bad case of flu that had led to a severe throat and chest infection and gave me some strong antibiotics, he had also given me something to help me sleep. I just wanted to feel better already i missed spending time with Bucky and the girls, I had been keeping my distance not wanting them to get sick.

I was laying in bed when i felt a hand slip up my thigh and travel up until an arm was wrapped around my waist, a warm body pressed to my back.... soft kisses placed to my neck making me moan.

"Mmm Bucky I've missed you" i sighed smiling and welcoming his attention.

"I've missed you too baby, but I'm not Bucky" said the too familiar voice, i froze at the sound of Jacks voice in my ear and started to struggle but he just laughed "your mine baby always, i'll get you back soon dont worry!"

"No!!! Bucky??!!!!" I screamed still trying to push Jack away from me, he just looked down at me with a sinister smile spread across his face.

"Hey! Hey sweetheart wake up!"

My eyes shot open to see Steve leaning over shaking me slightly looking concerned. I was sweating and breathing hard as i realised i had been dreaming!

"Steve?"

"Yeah its just me, you okay?"

".... I'm fine" i shook my head feeling stupid "where's Bucky?"

"He just went to get some groceries. Asked me to stay to keep an eye on you while he was gone"

"Oh, okay"

"You wanna talk about it?" Steve offered "you seem pretty shaken"

"I dreamt Jack was here, at first i thought he was Bucky but it wasnt.... it was Jack telling me im his and that he'll have me back soon" i shook my head.

"It was just a dream sweetheart, your safe here"

"I know..... it just felt so real"

"Im here, i'll protect you" he smirked "you wanna come downstairs for a change of scenery? I dont think your contagious, we'd all have it by now if you were"

"Yeah okay, that sounds good actually" i nodded "Buck will probably freak that im not in bed resting still though"

"dont you worry bout him. Come on" Steve smiled easily scooping me up into his arms and carrying me downstairs.

"Steve i can walk you know"

"I know" he shrugged before putting me down on the sofa smiling.

"Such a dork" i rolled my eyes laughing at him "thank you for staying with me Steve".

"Anytime sweetheart".

Steve and I were sat watching a movie when Bucky finally got home.

"Hey baby, you feeling better?" Bucky asked dropping down on the sofa next to me and wrapping me in his arms as he placed a kiss to my temple.

"I still feel awful but Steve thought a change of scenery would do me good, he even insisted on carrying me down here"

Bucky laughed shaking his head at his friend "of course he did".

"Hey, you loved being swept off your feet sweetheart dont deny it"

"I would never!" I gasped and held a hand to my chest dramatically making them both laugh.

"You hungry? I got you some chicken noodle soup" Bucky asked looking down at me as his fingers played with my hair.

"Mmm yes please"

"Okay, I'll be right back".

"Hey Buck, can we go for a walk after I've eaten? I feel like i need some fresh air, think I'm starting to get cabin fever"

"Anything you want doll" he called back.

"It will probably make you feel better getting out the house for a while" Steve smiled over at me "clear your mind"

"Yeah i was thinking the same, i just wanna get back on my feet, the more I'm resting the worst i feel"

"At least your eating more now and keeping food down" Bucky added as he came in with a tray of soup and a bread roll "you had me worried" he said placing the tray on my lap.

"Oh i know, he even asked me if i was pregnant"

"Are you?" Steve asked with wide eyes making me roll my eyes.

"No! Dont worry there's no baby.... I'm just sick" i chuckled shaking my head before turning my attention to my food "mmm smells so good".

"For the record, i wasn't worried that you were pregnant. I was just asking a question"

"Oh okay" i laughed, the look on his face when he had asked me this morning told an entirely different story!

After i had eaten we went for walk around the park and it actually did make me feel a bit better. The evening was spent cuddled up with Bucky and the girls on the sofa which was so nice, id missed this the past couple of days.

I was laying in bed later that night when i felt a hand brush over my thigh and an arm wrap around my waist, a warm body press against my back.... soft kisses placed on my neck.... deja vu hit me like a ton of bricks and i sat up turning quickly to look behind me, Bucky looked at me like i was crazy.

"You okay?"

"Yeah..... yeah I'm fine" i nodded "sorry Buck" i said quickly with sigh of relief.

"Hey what is it?"

"I just had to make sure you were you....."

"Okayyyy.... who else would it be?"

"No one, i just..... i had this dream earlier that kinda freaked me out" i laid back down shaking my head before telling him all about it "Steve woke me up because he heard me shouting for you"

"But it was just a dream babe" Bucky said pulling me back into his arms, his body curling around me protectively from behind.

"I know" i said quickly "it just seemed so real....."

"I got you" he mumbled in my ear as he buried his face against my neck "and for the record, i really wasn't worried that you were pregnant.... i was just asking a question. Id be happy if you were"

"What?...."

"Id be happy. Y/N i love you so much and your already a great mom to my girls.... why wouldn't i be happy to add to our family?"

"Buck.... Thats the first time you've said you love me" i turned in his arms needing to see his face, to look into the eyes that melted my insides every time he looked at me.

"Ive said it so many times in my head doll" he admitted looking kinda embarrassed "i know everything with us has moved quick but its true, i love you"

"I love you too" i smiled pressing a quick kiss to his lips "i'll kiss you better when I'm not sick" i chuckled.

"You kiss me better now woman i dont care" he laughed diving on me and kissing me taking my breath away.

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[inkskinned]

literally just a dumb unorganized list of school tips

source: im a grad student. i’ve had a lot of school. also i’m adhd & mentally ill and require +8 organization. this is mostly directed @ college students, but maybe high school students can use it too, fuck, idk, it’s been forever since i was stuck in that hell hole

just say “professor” either ur using the correct title for a person (will make them feel good) or you’re giving them a bigger title on the assumption they deserve it (which will make them feel good) and also prevents having to ever i mean ever use their names

talk at least 1 time a week in each class, aim for 1 time a day. even lecture classes. i fucking hate talking in front of more than 5 people, so what i would do is prepare a question about the hw/etc (even if i didn’t need it answered) to ask the professor after class so they saw me and got used to me and saw i was invested in their class. about 89% of teachers - if they see you try, they will pass you. i mean it’s literally that easy. i know people who went from like a c- but because they legit tried, their grade got bumped up to a b-. 

if u have to bring a laptop, pre-download the required material/screenshot it, and then turn off your wifi. it’s too easy to not listen.

physical writing will always give you more information recall over typing.

nobody cares about stupid shit anymore trust me they don’t remember that you were accidentally locked in a towel out of your room bc they have their own dumb shit that happened.... in college all the “cringe culture” turns into “god i wish that were me” culture ... wear ur onesie to a party trust me you make +800 friends and 799 of them will be girls telling you you’re adorable and they’d die for you

about locking urself out.... if ur like me and can breeze past post-it notes placed in obvious areas, don’t be a dumb bitch and rely on post-it-notes. while most schools offer 1 free lockout, dont rely on it - it once took 2 hours before someone could get to me. i was in a towel, which meant no phone. so like. anyway, what i do now is i put something on the handle of the door i have to open/unlock. i can’t just open the door w/out the thing falling down and making a loud “you dumb bitch unlock the door before u shower” sound. 

this works for all important don’t-forget it things. other obstacles i’ve used to remind myself to do something include: putting a chair with my wholeass posterboard in front of the door, an entire printer with a single piece of paper that just read “for the love of god check to be sure you have that essay”, and a recycling bin i kept forgetting to empty. guess what bitch finally emptied the bin once it was between me and a swift exit!

no offense and like the whole “it’s the best years of your life!” thing is great but in reality everything goes better scholastically when you treat it as “i came here to win, not to make friends.” i still did make friends, went to parties every weekend, was popular enough i’d be invited to several on one night - but i came there to win. when i put my scholastic life and my mental health first, i went from a 2.0 to a 3.98. yes you can, bitch.

you’re spending the money. don’t squander it. trust me when i say i know plenty of people who breeze through, bc you often can. but like. don’t. challenge yourself bc like. talk about an investment.

if you hate your major, change it. don’t make your life something you can’t stand. on that note, do NOT agree 100% to a track until you have at least some experience in the field. i cannot tell u how many ppl i know who got their whole masters/phd program done, walked into their new profession, and were like, Oh Fuck, I Can’t Live Like This.

college literally offers so many free things and if you’re not taking advantage of them whenever possible i get it but like. try to take advantage of them. this is everything from your gym (which probably has free classes dude) to clubs to like. sober events. these sober events are so ... fuckin good dude i’ve made mason jars with little plants in em... bee aviaries... candles.... go to the free stuff

oh ps on free stuff i wanna say about 4 of 5 days there’s free food on campus just look for things like job fairs, presentations, or discussion groups. also while you’re there at the job fair like. u know, go to the job fair in earnest

i took off 2 years to work and also to just. recover from my bullshit. and it took me 6 years and 3 schools to get my bachelor’s. it wasn’t easy but bitch i lived. there’s no such thing as “too long” to graduate if that’s truly what you want to do.

if on the meal plan, eat as clean as you can the first week. then introduce each part of the cafeteria’s possibly-food-poisoning-creating foods one at a time. give @ least 2 days between each experiment so you know for sure if you get sick what caused it. i literally never eat meat at school but you can still get sick off of unwashed lettuce/salad dressing that hasn’t been refrigerated properly/weirdass things you won’t even think of. this prevents like. dying in a public bathroom.

white loaf bread can be gross & boring. discount bakery section for your slightly chewy artisianal bread needs. if overstale, either toast it or dunk it into water and microwave it (unless u got an oven. use the oven if u can)

steal as many apples from the dining hall/events/etc as physically possible just do it they keep FOREVER and @ some point you’ll be like. fUCK i need a nutrition. ps if you’re keeping them in ur backpack (i wouldn’t keep more than 2) make sure to wrap w/a few paper towels so if you drop your bag you don’t get apple mush

write it all down bitch. “i’ll remember it” no you won’t. unless you are capable of remembering every idea on this list and in order, you won’t remember it. in general, if you write something 3 times, you will recall it correctly at least 80% of the time. i also read it out loud to myself, bc, you know, auditory recall

DO NOT just put your assignment at the top of your notes, unless you’re 100% sure that will work for you. in most cases, it’s much better to have a planner/agenda/place you expect to look for assignments. +7 points if you lie to yourself about deadlines and move them all up.

like not to sound too much like a DARE ad but like. if you don’t like it/don’t want it, don’t fuckin do it. the idea that “there’s nothing to do if you don’t party” is such bullshit. like i promise if you’re like “i am a grouch and want to stay in and binge netflix” about 45 ppl will show up in pjs like “bitch fullscreen it, im a grouch too.” there’s also like. the chance to just.... not overindulge. on wednesdays i have “wine wednesdays” where we sit around and drink a glass of wine while we do our hw. it’s chill and friendly instead of like. drink until u vomit. don’t feel like you either gotta slam the breaks or the gas pedal, is what i mean.

PLEASE know the signs of alcohol poisoning/overdose. most schools have a “Safety Always Matters Most” policy, which means that you can call for help w/out getting into trouble. if you think someone is in danger, act. this also goes for making sure ppl get home safe even if they’re just incapacitated, not poisoned. step in, dudes.

also just. notice when ur starting to rely on stuff too much. i’m super easily addicted to things, so i keep a healthy distance from liquor. i don’t let myself “drink to feel better” bc that’s a scary, scary thing to link to feeling better. if you or somebody u know starts drinking all the time/gets anxious if they don’t drink/drinks in the daytime .... get help. schools have counselling services for a reason.

you’re gonna get a cold/flu of some sort in the first 2 months just brace for it. in the meantime, drink vitamin c, try not to touch too many handles, and when people say “there’s something going around” believe them.

watch kaplan nike just do it 

if you can teach it, you know the material. a super good way of knowing if you studied the right way is to try and teach the material to a stuffed animal/imaginary class.

“i don’t know how to study” bitch me too the fuck. this is usually bc we’ve been taught that studying is just sitting down and staring @ ur notes. it’s not. it’s different for everyone, and you need to understand it’s 99% preventative care. if you don’t go to the class or do the homework, studying is going to fucking suck, bc you’re learning the material all at once for the first time. the place you should consider “studying” is “i’m confident in 70-90% of the material, but need to review.” do not let yourself fall behind .... just go to office hours and ask questions if ur not getting something. studying should feel like you’re remembering what you already knew but kinda forgot, not like you’ve been blindsided.

the whole “writing it down in ur own words” while u have been told this 700 times it really helps bc it means u gotta translate it through your own understanding. if you can’t, and it’s not bc the material seems too obvious to you to state in another way - ask yourself if you don’t understand the material. chances are u are missing a bit of info.

i know it’s like A Thing that Some People do but i never had the mental health points for it but i know some people just take 15 minutes after every class to review their notes. since i’m 100% early to every class ever, obnoxiously so, i try to do it before class. having the last class’s notes up in my head super helps. like. put down the phone i know you’re socially anxious me too but review those notes. chances are if u start flipping through pages other ppl will too. this is also fun bc as soon as you start this whole thing, at least one person will be like “is there a test?” no bitch there’s no test but im gonna be ready when there is!

literally so much of success is fucking posturing i could link about 800 peer-edited studies that show that when a student is expected to do well (and knows they are), they do well. like i literally didn’t change my appearance at all, never bothered to look nice (once winter hits i wear 67 layers all the time), but when i showed up after my 2 years off from school, i presented myself with the whole “i came here to win” vibe and people... really respected me? i mean in hs i remember ppl saying shit like “yeah, well, you aren’t gonna have the homework”. by the time i was in college i had an honest-to-god conversation which included someone being like “so tell me what you’re overachieving at right now” like they just expected it from me. wild.

i live by “bite off more than you can chew, and then CHEW IT” but it’s probably unhealthy. the truth is that i have a lot of energy all the time (lmao adhd!!!) and i used to get told i was “trying too hard” and for a long time (still???) i didn’t (i don’t?) know what that was, you know, bc i had a D average, clearly i wasn’t trying. it turns out i was just. putting all my energy into stuff that wasn’t making me happy like toxic friendships etc. when i decided “nope, all this energy is for me and my schoolwork”..... uhhhhh suddenly i was a golden child and everyone praised my try-hardness ... it’s a fuckt up system tbh

take at least 1 class just for fun. i try to do that every semester. it helps break up all the requirements. if you’re like an engineer and got no time or credits left to spend, try to audit your fun course.

make ur advisor love you i don’t care what it takes make them cupcakes show up to thank them i dONT CARE just do it 

the library isn’t always the best place. if i start getting anxious bc i pavlovian train myself that library=work, i find a new place to go to do hw. try to go outside if you can!!! not like where i live bc like it’s snow all the time but try. a little green really really really helps depression. 

if you’ve been in the same “Studying” place for 1 hour and haven’t done anything the chances are Something Isn’t Right. first, look @ ur body. are you not focusing bc of some pressing physical need? sometimes just taking a shower and coming back helps. are you uncomfy? are you too comfy and going to sleep? if body okay, look @ the material. do you not understand it? do you just need to switch to a new topic for a little bit? can you find a youtube video that will help you better understand it? make notes on what you don’t get so you can ask in the next class. if it’s not the material, it’s not ur bod, check the Actual Space. sometimes just getting up, going for a short walk to a new place, and trying it there actually? really works? if none of this is working.... try ur brain next. hardest to reset bc like, what, turn it on and off again? i use things like caffeine, a short workout, a nap, or a podcast all to just... give me a little boost. 

don’t be afraid to leave. i mean this about class, friend groups, and the college ur at. just get up on outta there if ur not feelin it. i cannot recommend “drop the class” enough. even if it’s a required course see if u can switch the times if u hate the professor day 3 it’s not gonna get better just get the fuCK out

don’t nap in the same position u go to sleep in, nap upside down w/ur head away from ur pillow. don’t ask me why but it works to 1. fall asleep faster 2. make sure u sleep okay at night and 3. wake up less annoyed 

on that note don’t ever do anything in ur bed in a sleeping position unless it’s genuinely sleeping in it. body will get confused. just sit up, lazybones.

when/if the library has those therapy dogs during finals week.... just go pet them make the time for it

ask before hugging people, but don’t expect a “yes”

get a backpack that fits and doesn’t hurt ur back u fuckin hippie idc how cool it is to wear ur backpack super low just don’t do it it’s not worth it

the tutoring center is a fucking goldmine.... free essay edits my dudes

bring a fan dorms are always hotter than u expect

switch dorms if u can if u realize ur in the wrong room/wrong roomate like just don’t bother with nonsense

when in doubt, follow preschool rules. tell ppl when they did something cool, just ask when u need help, and be confident even in your mistakes, because at least u tried

[zoemurph]

before sunrise

on ao3 (full note on ao3) 

its been a really tough week, but as always, i really love the murphy siblings. i also really love my friends. thank you for putting up with me and im sorry for the silence. ill try to make it up somehow if youll let me.

warning: minor mentions of throwing up from "it's around 1:30" to "'zoe?' connor asks softly", because zoe is sick. its not described much at all, but figured id throw it out there. let me know if theres anything else i should warn about.

enjoy

It’s 4:17 in the morning when Zoe tip toes down the stairs and then makes eye contact with Connor, who’s sitting on the couch, eating cereal and staring at a blank TV screen.

Connor takes another bite of cereal and then puts the bowl down in his lap. “Hey.”

Zoe nods and walks into the kitchen, putting her instrument case on the floor by the table when she passes it.

Connor stares ahead at nothing for another few seconds before he takes his cereal and moves to join her.

“What are you doing up?” he asks, leaning against the island in the center of the room.

Zoe keeps her back toward him as she rummages through the fridge. “Competition,” she says shortly.

“At four in the morning?” Connor asks in surprise.

Zoe glances at him over her shoulder, eyebrows furrowed. “Yeah? Transportation time?”

Oh right. “Still, that’s really fucking early.”

She keeps staring at him. “Well you’re up.”

“That’s different,” Connor points out before stirring his cereal mindlessly.

“Why, ’cause you’re not leaving?” Zoe pulls out an orange and closes the fridge door with her elbow.  

Connor rolls his eyes. “No. Cause I never went to bed. There was no ‘waking up’ involved here.”

She frowns as she peels her orange. “Why didn’t you sleep?”

He shrugs and takes another bite of cereal.

“Hm.” Zoe slowly pulls apart the orange. “So did you just sit on the couch all night and stare at the TV?”

“Yes.” She looks surprised. “And then I grabbed a bowl of cereal and then I kept staring at the TV.” Connor keeps his gaze steady as Zoe decides what to do with that information.

Eventually, Zoe settles for “Oh.” And all other aspects of their relationship considered, Connor will settle for it.

“I have to go,” Zoe says suddenly. She slips past Connor and back into the dining room. She scoops up her case and grabs her keys off the hook without another word.

“Good luck,” Connor says from the kitchen doorway.

Zoe pauses at the front door. “Thanks.”

It’s 5:23 in the morning and Connor is sitting on the kitchen counter eating cold pizza.

Zoe hesitates in the doorway before she steps into the kitchen and leaves her backpack on the island.

“Early,” Connor says.

Zoe hums in agreement. She pulls a loaf of bread out of the cabinet and pops two pieces in the toaster. “Why are you up?” she asks as she opens the door to the fridge and pulls out the jelly. Someone, probably Connor, used the rest of the strawberry. She’ll settle for grape.

Connor shrugs.

They sit in silence as they wait for the toast to pop.

“Coffee?” Connor asks suddenly.

Zoe shakes her head. “I’ll stop at Starbucks on my way into school.”

Connor squints at the time on the stove. “It’s early.”

“I’m helping Alana with setup for the assembly today.” The toast pops. Zoe grabs a knife and a plate.

“You’re part of Student Council?” Connor asks. He doesn’t seem surprised. She’s not sure how to take that.

“No.” She focuses on spreading jelly evenly across the pieces of bread. Easier said than done. “I’m just helping Alana, you know how Student Council is.”

There’s a pause before Connor says, “No. Not really.”

Zoe looks up from her toast. “No one does shit,” she says flatly.

He lifts his pizza in acknowledgement. “Mood.”

She rolls her eyes. “Fuck off, Alana does everything. People don’t care, it just looks nice on college apps.”

“Sorry she has to deal with that,” Connor says after a moment. “It’s cool that you care.”

Zoe looks over to him. He’s staring off into the distance as he eats his pizza, like he didn’t say the words at all.

It’s 1:02 in the morning. Connor is hanging off the side of the couch upside down as Evan snores softly on the other end, curled up in a ball and hugging a pillow.

The stairs creak and he sits up, groaning as he uses abs that he definitely doesn’t have. The sudden change makes the blood rush from his head, and he grabs onto the arm of the couch as black spots burn his vision and his head spins. When it passes, he squints up at Zoe in the darkness.

She’s frozen in the middle of the stairs, eyes wide.

Connor hauls himself off the couch, moving for the first time in at least eight hours, which his body hates. He motions for Zoe to follow him into the kitchen and hears her following him quietly after a moment. He flicks on the light as he enters the kitchen and immediately heads to the fridge. Cynthia bought whipped cream and he’s not above squirting it directly into his mouth.

Zoe leans against the counter and crosses her arms over her chest.

“Did you want something?” Connor asks softly, pulling the can of whipped cream from the shelf.

She starts to shake her head then stops. “Couldn’t sleep,” she admits after a minute.

Connor puts the cover on the island before shaking the can. “Relatable.”

“When did Evan fall asleep?” she asks.

Good move. Evan is always a safe conversation topic. Just like Evan is a safe person to be around. Evan is just safe, that’s the best description Connor has come up with for him so far. “Maybe like half an hour ago. Long day.”

Zoe nods slowly and stares out of the kitchen into the darkness of the living room. “I can’t believe he fell asleep on the couch.”

Connor smiles. “Evan can fall asleep anywhere if he’s tired enough. He fell asleep leaning against Jared the other day.”

He watches Zoe fight a smile before he tips his head back and squirts whipped cream into his mouth. She’s probably judging him, but he remembers doing this with her when they were young. Younger. Their mom would put out strawberries and put a little bit of whipped cream on their plates. When she left the room, they’d sneak into the kitchen and squirt whipped cream into their mouths.

“That couch is the worst,” Zoe mutters. “Dad needs to move on so we can get a new one.”

Connor lowers the whipped cream and nods. They’ve had that old couch for as long as either of them can remember. It’s one of the only parts of the house that isn’t constantly updated. At one point it was comfortable, but now the cushions are flattened and the springs are dead. A night’s sleep on it is a guaranteed back ache for at least two days afterward.

“As long as Evan is asleep,” Connor says. He holds out the whipped cream to Zoe.

She stares at the can for a long moment before she takes it from him. “Why aren’t you asleep?”

Connor raises his eyebrows at her. “Sleep is for the weak.”

Zoe gives him a flat look.

“I took a nap after school in the library while waiting for Evan,” Connor says. “I can’t sleep.”

Zoe keeps her eyes on the floor for a moment before she lifts the whipped cream to her mouth and squirts it in.

Avoidance. Nice.

“You should go to sleep soon,” Connor says eventually. “You have that rehearsal today, right?”

She nods slowly. “It’s fine. I can sleep on the bus.”

Connor makes a face.

“I’ve done longer rehearsals on less sleep.” Zoe grabs the cap off the island and covers the whipped cream. “Besides, this is good practice for college.”

Connor watches her as she opens the fridge door to put away the can. They don’t talk about college. Or the future. For a while there they didn’t talk at all. And then talking about the future was too tentative, because it wasn’t something they thought they’d actually look at together. “Performance or education?” he asks as the fridge door swings closed.

“Performance,” Zoe murmurs. “But I’m also thinking about music therapy. There aren’t many schools with great programs but…” She trails off and looks at her feet. The socks she’s wearing are mismatched, one is covered with stars and the other with Marvel superheroes.

“You should go to bed,” Connor says.

Zoe nods. “You too.”

At 2:49, Zoe gives up and closes her history textbook. Her brain hurts and her eyes hurt and her neck hurts. She pushes away from her desk and stands up, stretching out her back and wincing when something pops. Then she goes down the stairs as quietly as possible because she desperately needs chocolate before she starts crying.

She almost has a heart attack when she flicks on the kitchen light, because Connor is sitting on the floor in the dark eating cup ramen.

“Oh my god,” she gasps, stumbling backward.

Connor looks up at her and then raises a hand. “Hey.”

“Don’t do that!” Zoe hisses. “I almost screamed.”

“Cool.” Connor takes a sip from his cup ramen.

She puffs up her cheeks and blows air out from between her lips as she pulls open the cupboards. “What are you doing up?”

“Studying. Emphasis on the dying part.” She glares at him and he shrugs. “I got sick of writing about literary fiction versus commercial fiction, fucking sue me.”

“Maybe I will.” Zoe finds a half used bag of chocolate chips from the last time they made pancakes. She pulls it out of the cabinet and tosses the bag clip on the island before joining Connor on the floor. “Want some?”

“Nah I’m eating healthy.”

She rolls her eyes and dumps a handful of chocolate chips into her palm. “Okay then. Are you just writing that paper or…?”

“Yeah at the moment.” Connor picks at the styrofoam cup. “Ev and I are meeting up after school tomorrow so he can study for Environmental Science and Alana promised she’d help me with math.”

“Alana is a gift,” Zoe muses before stuffing the entire handful of chocolate chips in her mouth.

“Mhm. What about you?”

Zoe holds up a hand as she chews the chocolate chips. She has so much to do and she’s trying not to think about it too much. Mostly she’s just stress eating, which is admittedly better than Evan’s stress not eating, but not by much. “Right now it’s history,” she says after she swallows. “I’m trying not to think about music theory. Or precalc. Or graphic design.”

“Ask Jared,” Connor says. “He’s good at that shit. He might be able to hack onto the computers and fix something real quick after class if you need him to.”

“That’s cheating, Connor.” Zoe takes another handful of chocolate chips.

“Do I look like I give a shit?” Connor asks before tipping his head back and draining the rest of the broth in his cup ramen.

Zoe shakes her head. “You look like you want to have too much salt in your body.”

“I’m already mostly salt,” Connor deadpans. “A little more can’t hurt.” He holds out his hand for a chocolate chip. Zoe generously gives him two. “You’ve got White for precalc, right? Because we need to talk about how terrible she is.”

Connor glances up from his laptop screen at 3:19 in the morning to see Zoe hovering at the edge of the stairs, hugging herself. He pauses the YouTube video he was mindlessly watching and pulls his earbuds out. “Why are you up, Zo?”

She shakes her head. “Couldn’t sleep.”

He wonders if she’s really that tired and out of it that she didn’t notice the nickname slip. “Why’d you come down here?” he asks. “Do you need like…food or something?”

She shakes her head again. “You’re always up.”

Connor can’t argue with that one. He still hasn’t figured out how to force himself to adopt a normal sleep schedule yet. He’s working on it, but every few weeks it gets really out of whack and he has to start all over. It’s a process. An annoying one.

“Do you…want to talk about it?” he asks slowly.

Zoe hesitates. “I kind of just want to sit,” she says.

Connor sits up and swings his legs off of the couch. “Then sit.” He scooches over as far as he can so she can have all the space she needs.

Zoe curls up on the other end of the couch, leaning against the armrest and wrapped up in a ball.

“Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?”

She nods. “Yeah.”

He frowns.

“Go back to what you were doing,” Zoe murmurs. “I don’t want to bother you.

Connor looks to his YouTube video. He hadn’t been all that invested before but he’s even less invested now. After a few minutes, he clicks the search bar and looks for a composer, one he overheard Zoe talking about the other day that she supposedly really likes.

He’s not sure if he should know her favorite composer or not. He’s not really sure how any of this works. He just hopes he gets the name right.

Connor listens to songs while checking in on Zoe every few minutes out of the corner of his eye. Eventually, he finds a song that seems calming enough and unplugs his headphones, turning his laptop volume on low.

Zoe looks over to him in surprise.

Connor just shrugs and stuffs his headphones in his pocket. He clicks over to a new tab and does his own thing as the music plays.

Zoe moves closer as the song ends. “Can I…?” she trails off, gesturing to his laptop.

Connor blinks. “Oh yeah, sure.” He pulls the YouTube page back up before handing it over. He rubs his eyes as Zoe looks through the recommended videos.

He’s startled by the first note of the next song.

“Sorry about that,” Zoe apologizes.

“It’s cool.” Connor runs a hand through his hair. “Just tired.”

“You should sleep,” she mumbles.

You too. “On this couch?” Connor asks. “Fuck that.”

Zoe moves to hand Connor his laptop back.

Connor pushes it back towards her. “Keep it. You’ve got better taste in music.”

“You finally admit it,” she murmurs.

He pulls his legs up onto the couch and crosses them, letting his thoughts sink into the music. Zoe does have a nice taste in music, at least when it comes to instrumental band music. He glances over to her at one point and she’s nodding along to the beat, swaying back and forth with some of the dynamic changes.

Connor gets a weird feeling in his chest. Zoe’s hair is longer than he thought it was and she has circles under her eyes. She looks tired and he doesn’t think he can blame that on just tonight.

He has the overwhelming need to protect her. It’s weird.

“What’s this?” she asks, tilting the screen and pointing to a video that shows up in the recommended videos column.

Connor squints at it. “Some comedy sketch. I just kind of let YouTube run on autoplay when I’m out of it and weird shit starts showing up in my recommended videos.”

Zoe purses her lips before scooting closer. “I wonder if it’s funny,” she says as she clicks the video.

Zoe falls asleep on him about six videos later, when they’ve somehow gotten to a video on the top ten animated villain songs. Connor shuts his laptop and sets it on the table in front of them, careful not to move too much so he won’t disturb her.

It’s around 1:30 when Zoe stumbles out of bed and down the hallway, barely throwing the bathroom door open in time to bend over the toilet. She wipes her mouth with a tissue and flushes the toilet, grimacing.

Gross.

She groans as she sinks to the cold tile floor. It’s nice against her hot skin, but doesn’t change the fact that everything hurts and is awful right now.

And she thought she was maybe getting better.

“Zoe?” Connor asks softly.

She doesn’t turn away from the toilet, just lifts a hand in acknowledgement.

“You okay?”

Zoe takes a few slow breaths before she says, “I’m okay.”

“Here.” He flicks the light on and sits on the side of the tub. “Not going to school, huh?”

Zoe groans. “Please…”

Connor gives her a weak smile and yanks a hair tie out of his hair, his hair falling out of its ponytail as he does so. “Here.”

Zoe takes it and pulls her hair up into a messy bun. At least it’s out of her face now. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be. You’re sick.” Connor leans closer and presses the back of his hand to her forehead. “And burning up. Shit, Zo, when did you take medicine?”

“Um…” She scrunches up her face. “Before bed?”

Connor looks up as he does some math in his head. “Yeah okay, you can take more now.”

“How long has it been?” she asks.

“Like nine hours.”

Zoe blinks. “Are you sure?”

“Sleep is weird and so is time.” Connor stands. “Do you think you can come downstairs with me or is staying hunched over a toilet a better idea?”

Zoe slowly gets to her feet. Connor grabs her arm when she wobbles a little. “I think I’m okay. I’ll be down in a second.”

“I’ll be in the kitchen.” Connor pauses in the doorway. “If you fall, just start yelling or something.”

“Sorry for waking you up,” she calls after him.

“You didn’t,” Connor promises.

Zoe brushes her teeth and stares at herself in the mirror for a minute. She looks like a corpse. She hates being sick and all of her homework is just piling up into a terrifying mountain of death.

She also feels like she’s going to pass out.

Water is good.

She leans heavily on the railing as she climbs downstairs, following the trail of lights Connor left on into the kitchen. He’s drinking orange juice and sitting on the island. He’s left out a medicine cup filled with purple grape flavored lies. Zoe scowls as she picks it up.

“Bottoms up,” Connor says, lifting his glass in a toast. “Actually wait.” He hops down from the island and opens the fridge, pulling out chocolate syrup. “Go.”

Zoe huffs and downs the medicine, trying not to gag.

“Open wide,” Connor says, uncapping the chocolate syrup.

Zoe opens her mouth again as Connor squeezes chocolate syrup in. Then he does the same to himself.

“You didn’t take medicine,” Zoe says.

“I’m taking care of you,” Connor says. “This is my payment.”

Zoe rolls her eyes. “‘m fine.”

Connor gives her a look. “Sure.”

“I’m almost an adult, I can take care of myself.”

He shudders. “Don’t remind me.”

“Why? Is me being an adult that scary?”

“No, it reminds me that I’m an adult.”

Zoe laughs. It turns into a cough and Connor pats her back until she can breathe right again.

“My laptop is still hooked up to the TV if you want to illegally watch Disney movies,” Connor says.

Zoe nods. “Yeah, that’d be good.”

She curls up on the couch with a blanket because now she’s too cold even though Connor insists her fever is up, and takes a water bottle from Connor when he hands it to her over the back of the couch. He pulls up Princess and the Frog without Zoe even having to argue that it’s way better than Lilo and Stitch.

“Thanks,” she mumbles. “Was I supposed to take that medicine with food?”

“Not sure,” Connor admits. “But here.” He holds out a box of Saltines. “Found these in the back of the cabinet. Bland, salty, and white. Just like me.”

Zoe snorts as she takes them from him. “You aren’t that bland.” She opens the box. “Don’t you have school in a few hours?” Connor shrugs. “Whatever.”

 At 12:36, Zoe pulls open the front door. Connor ducks his head as he squeezes past her and into the house.

“Thanks,” he whispers as he pulls down his hood. It started raining as he had walked home and now all of him is a little damp.

Zoe crosses her arms. “Where were you?”

“Out.” Connor moves to go into the kitchen. He needs something warm to eat or drink right now. He can’t feel his hands.

She grabs onto his jacket, yanking him backwards. “Seriously?!”

Connor sighs and gives in. “Can you let me, like, get a snack? It’s not a big deal.”

“It is if it involves you sneaking in and out.” She shoves him. “I thought you were getting better than this.”

“I am,” Connor snaps. He jerks free and stalks off to the kitchen. He pulls open the fridge and stares at its contents, which doesn’t help the fact that he’s freezing.

“Here.” Zoe grabs a container of leftovers out of the fridge and shoves it at Connor. “Those are going to go bad. If you’re going to be midnight snacking, at least eat something we need to get rid of.”

“Closer to one am,” Connor corrects. “Round up.”

Zoe glares at him.

She continues to watch him with an unimpressed gaze as he heats up pasta from last week in the microwave.

“When did you sneak out?” she asks when there are fourteen seconds left.

Connor pulls the microwave door open before it can beep. “About nine.”

“Why.”

He ignores her and bumps her over to get to the silverware.

“Connor,” she says warningly. “I won’t help you sneak in and out if you won’t tell me what’s going on. There’s nothing stopping me from getting mom or dad right now.”

“You wouldn’t,” he says flatly.

Zoe takes a deep breath.

“It’s none of your business,” he hisses.

She scowls. “You making me let you back in makes it my business. Why didn’t you bring your key? Come on. That’s basic.”

Connor shrugs. “I left it at Evan’s my mistake.” He focuses on his pasta and tries not to look at her.

“Evan’s?” Zoe asks. “You haven’t been over his house for like…two days. Besides, you had your key earlier…today…”

Connor stuffs his mouth full of pasta. She can’t question him if he can’t talk and he can’t talk if he’s eating.

There’s a long pause that gives him far too much time to chew the way too big bite of pasta he took.  

“You were at Evan’s?” Zoe asks softly.

Connor nods and continues to not look at her.

“Why?”

“He needed someone,” Connor mumbles. “His mom was at work and Jared was working on a project and Ev didn’t want to bother them.”

Zoe sighs. “You could’ve just told me that.”

“It really wasn’t any of your business. And besides,” he meets her eyes, “you assumed the worst.” Which stung more than he was willing to admit it did.

Zoe shifts uncomfortably under his gaze. “Yeah, I did. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” he mutters. He stabs a piece of pasta with his fork. “It’s whatever. Thanks for letting me in.”

“Always.” Zoe clears her throat. “You can always like…tell me stuff. If you need to. I know I’m not like… I know it’s different but— yeah.”

Connor glances at her. “Yeah.”

It’s 3:44 in the morning when Zoe wakes up with a cramp in her calf and an incredibly dry throat. She practically stumbles down the stairs as she tries to walk off the cramp and bumps into the doorframe when she tries to enter the kitchen.

She grumbles to herself and rubs her shoulder before flicking on the kitchen lights. She blinks in surprise. “Connor?”

Connor looks up from where he’s sitting on the floor, hair messy and face streaked with tears.

“Are…are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” he mutters. His voice sounds hoarse.

Zoe hesitates. “Do you— Can I do anything? To help?”

Connor presses a hand to his forehead and squeezes his eyes shut.

“Connor?” she asks softly. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

He takes a shaky breath. “No.”

“What can I do?” She steps a little closer. “How can I help?”

“Just…stay. For a minute.”

Zoe sits down on the kitchen floor an arms length away from Connor. She’s supposed to be good at this comforting thing, but now that she’s here she has no idea if she’s supposed to do or say anything. She settles for just sitting in silence, because that’s all Connor wanted. For her to be here.

There’s probably something deep in that, but she’s tired.

“I’m sorry,” Connor chokes out after a few minutes.

Zoe furrows her eyebrows. “For what?”

“Everything.” He buries his face in his knees. “Everything,” he repeats, voice muffled.

Zoe takes a breath. “I’m not leaving,” she promises as she stands up. She pulls two plastic cups from a cabinet. The colors are faded and old but for some reason, their mom hasn’t thrown them out yet. She fills both up with water before joining Connor on the floor again. “Here,” she says, holding out one of the cups to him. “Hydration is important or something.”

Connor looks up to her with watery eyes before taking the cup. He wipes his face with the sleeve of his sweatshirt. “Sorry.”

“I just got you some water,” Zoe says. “It’s not a big deal. And it’s what I came down here for anyway.”

Connor stares down into his cup. “Still.”

Zoe sighs. No time like the present. “I accept your apology,” she says. “I don’t forgive you for everything, and I don’t think I can, but I accept your apology and I want to move past it. Look to the future and all that stuff. I… I want to help, Con. If you’re okay with that.”

Connor sniffs. “You don’t have to do that.”

“Yeah but I want to.” There were years where she had just given up and she’d stopped thinking he could get better. And in the end he proved her wrong. “I offered to.”

Connor takes a deep breath. “Don’t. Not if— it’s not worth it if you’re going to be like mom and think this is fixed quickly because I’m sick of pretending I’m better than I am.”

“I know,” Zoe murmurs. “I want to know if you’re actually okay or not. I want to know if I should be worried or… You’re my big brother. I just want you to be that.”

Connor’s face crumples and Zoe puts her cup down on the floor before taking his cup from his hands and putting it down next to hers. She touches his shoulder. “Connor?”

He pulls her into a tight hug, burying his face in her shoulder.

For a moment, she’s frozen. She can’t remember the last time they hugged. Or the last time that it felt real.

Zoe hugs him tight as they sit on the kitchen floor, the sun not even above the horizon yet. She still doesn’t really know what to say. Because she doesn’t actually know if things will get better. She wants to hope, but years have made her cynical and that’s really sad for her to say as a seventeen year old. So she just hugs Connor until he’s ready to let go.

Then they sit on the couch and watch Lilo and Stitch together, illegally on the first site that doesn’t threaten to give Connor’s laptop a virus. And she doesn’t even argue against it.

[aimskyymama-blog]

New York New York

There is so much I can say about New York, but I will try to stay focused on the task at hand! :) This was Micah’s first trip and we had a blast. If you stumbled on my blog out of curiosity, welcome. If its to read about our trip, my advice or just to see some photos then stay tuned.

Although we travel a lot I wont lie, my husband and I were nervous about traveling with a 4 month old. I was a little less nervous than him. Being a flight attendant for five years has helped me. I always marveled in awe when I would watch a mama wrangle a baby and/or a toddler all by herself flawlessly. So I always took mental notes for the future (thank you super mamas). We worked as a team and didn’t let any of the small stuff sweat us or slow us down. I honestly want to give him the dad of the year award for several reasons, but more on that later…

This was a very short trip. We left Florida around 6am on a Tuesday and came back at 7pm on Thursday. I will try to break this trip down by parts so I can stay organized haha.

Flights

We each had one carry on so a total of three. I packed my bag with half of Micah’s clothes and half of my own. I made sure to pack him 2-3 outfits for each day (whatever he was wearing and 2 extra in his diaper bag just in case so about 5-6 total for the whole trip). I packed him 2 footed pajamas (he wore one on the flight there), socks, diapers, wipes, his favorite teething toy, hand sanitizer/wipes, four spit up cloths (he didn’t use all four so I think 2-3 would’ve been fine for us), his muslin blanket (he used this a lot since its light enough for hot days but can be used to keep warm when folded), one thick blanket (also never used), soap and wash cloth, no need for formula since he is breastfed (which also made this easier), his LilleBaby carrier, and his Chicco bravo travel system (which I wish we didn’t take or found another option but ill explain why below). Micah’s carry on was his diaper bag and it had the things I normally pack for him.

My husband carried the bags and pushed the stroller while I wore Micah through the airport. This is why I wish we didn’t take his travel system. Getting through TSA, gate checking it, and most of all carrying it up and down the subway stairs (FYI, most subways in NY DONT HAVE ELEVATORS) was such a pain. This is why my hubby wins the prize, he did that heavy lifting. We thought about leaving it and buying a collapsible stroller that can fit in the over head but we knew we needed it for his naps and a car seat for any car rides. That’s where I learned the hard way that you can actually request a Lyft or Uber with a car seat. Whoops, lesson number one learned. So my advice, skip the bulky stroller and try to go for a small one that can fold up like the GB Pockit Stroller (if baby is 6 mos and up) or Doona (if you need the stroller to sit at an incline for naps) which is a car seat and stroller in one.

Once we got through TSA and to our gate I carried Micah onto the plane, we checked his car seat and stroller and then put his carrier either under the seat or in the overhead bin. Micah was awesome on the flight. We purposely did an early morning one because he normally sleeps until 8-9am so we knew he would sleep on the flight. I nursed him on both take off and landing to help clear his ears of the pressure. He didn’t ever seem phased.

Once we landed in LGA we hit the ground running! We dropped off our bags, freshened up and then headed to the subway to go to the American Museum of Natural History. 

Coming from Queens, this felt like it took forever. Probably because we had to take Micah in and out of the stroller to go up and down subway stairs and we had to transfer trains. Again, hubby wins the prize because he did all of the navigating. Thankfully because of him, we never took the wrong train or got lost. 

I was busy keeping Micah entertained and taking pictures (I’m always the photographer on our trips). Weather was cloudy and chilly (high 60’s is chilly to Floridians). But as the day progressed the sun came out and it was gorgeous. High 70’s low 80’s. I dressed myself and Micah in layers for that reason. As the temp went up I peeled off the layers.

Food

So as most of you know I am dairy, soy and egg free because of Micah’s intolerance’s to them. Total bummer because hello, PIZZA. :( But, NY is so accommodating when it comes to allergens. Almost every food spot had their ingredients listed and/or vegan meals on the menu. I was able to find a lot of options and if you know different foods, you know what you can eat. For example, I had a delicious Panang chicken Curry from a Thai joint. I knew it was usually made without soy sauce and is made with coconut milk and I simply confirmed with them before ordering. It was delicious. I also had an amazing dairy free sourdough flat bread with their house made vegan cheese in Grand Central Station. SO damn good. But my favorite was carne and pollo asada tacos from Los Tacos No.1 in Chelsea Market. Best tacos I have ever had. I cannot recommend going there enough! I ate like five of them and I had no shame haha! Being restricted from food has been tough so to find such delicious food that fit my diet made me feel so happy. We definitely will be going back as soon as I can have cheese so I can eat my heart out with pizza. If you also have a food intolerant little babe then you know how you always have a moment of fear when checking a diaper after eating something new. I cant tell you how many times I’ve been told in a restaurant  "no egg" or “no dairy” and then Micah’s poo goes from normal not smelly yellow poop to nasty, green, messy and smelly poo but we had none of that. :)

Transportation

We only took a car ride to and from the airport. We used Lyft and it was very easy and not pricey. Besides that we either used the subways or the bus. We purposely chose NY as our first trip with Micah for this reason. We found it easier to go to a destination that we can walk around vs having to rent a car and drive. The subways were pretty easy to use. We filled up a metro card that we used for both the bus and subway rides. We didn’t spend very much at all. I loved taking the subway (minus the stairs part. I know I cant get over it lol). My husband used Google maps to figure out which ones to take and where we should transfer. For the most part it was not too busy and if the car was full we waited for the next one since we had the stroller. 

People were awesome (except the ones that didn’t ask to give their seat) but that was expected haha. Almost everyone held a door open for us or asked if we needed any assistance when we were carrying the stroller. I really appreciated that. We walked. A whole lot. We walked half of Central park. We started at the museum. The museum is great but it was very busy when we went. Probably best for children a little older. The noise and stimulation was a little much for Micah so we didn’t do too many exhibits. After the museum we walked to the boating lake, Bethesda fountain and then through The Mall down to 57th. 

There we walked around and then finally around 4pm we started to make our journey back to Queens so we could get some early rest for the next day. I think personally, Central Park was the highlight of the trip for me. There are so many artist and musicians. For some reason being surrounded by so much nature and natural beauty but having the city around was so cool to me. I absolutely loved it and would love to go back in the fall when all of the tree’s are changing colors or even in the winter to see The Mall covered in snow.

I highly recommend using a carrier. We used ours each day and it made getting around so much easier. Unless Micah was asleep in the stroller, we tried to consistently carry him so he wouldn't get sick of being in the stroller. The carrier we used is LilleBaby. This is really a great carrier with back support (super important especially for those heavier babies)

 It was very comfortable to use and Micah loved it. We bought the Airflow model because its breathable and we knew we would be walking around outside with it. It also comes with a snap on hood.

On the second day we took it much easier. We got ready and headed out to midtown. We ate breakfast at Grand Central Station and then stayed around gawking at the beauty it is. 

We decided to do a little shopping in H&M (that’s where I got my super cute jean overalls on sale. Yassss). I also had to nurse Micah in the fitting room because he is SO very easily distracted now when he nurses. After that we decided to keep walking and sight seeing. Finally we decided to hop on the train and head over to Chelsea Park for a bite to eat and to explore.

Micah took his naps like a champ. All on his own. He ate, babbled, laughed, played with strangers and then on his own in his stroller he would just knock out. Then repeat. Haha. We went to the Highline which I highly recommend. Id rate that 2nd for our trip. We started around 24th street where the elevator would have been but it was just our luck that it was broken. So we muscled up and carried everything up the stairs.

We walked down to 18th on the Highline to look at the water and then like real tourist, we walked back to 24th only to realize that the Highline connects to Chelsea Market. Whoops number 2! Micah slept through it all and I had to wake him up once we were done so I could nurse him plus I thought the park was a nice place to do it. At Chelsea Market we went into every food spot like the foodies we are. I cant wait to return when im not on any kind of restricted diet!

On our last day the early AM flight we wanted to get on was full so we decided to hang around for a bit longer. We took the train and got off on the stop that took us to Gantry Plaza state park.

Then we walked towards the park and took some more photos while sight seeing. We hopped back on the train to Queens and then made our way back to LGA.

I love this photo my husband took of me nursing Micah while waiting for the train in the subway. It was hot, Micah was fussy because he was hungry, and I finally had a moment to sit and nurse him. People think its so easy to just throw a blanket over your baby (which Micah HATES) or to wait until you are somewhere private. The truth is, a hungry baby waits for no one :)

Over all we loved New York and we highly recommend it to any family that is looking to Travel to a family friendly destination. We cannot wait to go back. I hope you guys enjoyed this blog post as much as I did writing it. Hopefully you enjoyed it enough for me to continue blogging. :)

Thanks for reading!

[shockcity]

Bagginshield #14 - in a fairytale

Rating: M

Summary: for the 30 Day OTP Challenge. Detective Inspector Durin has been trying to put Smaug behind bars for years, but something almost...supernatural keeps getting in the way. Bilbo Baggins has been running since he was a kid, but no matter where he goes he can't escape his curse. Maybe they can help each other. Alternate Universe - Modern Setting/Magical Realism

Part II

Also on ao3

second note: ummm I think this was difficult for people to read cuz it's like 18k words and the app dies when you try to bring it up (/ω＼) so im reposting this in two parts sorry for the technical problems~ this is part II!

It was tempting to simply besiege the warehouse right that very moment – to run out and recklessly challenge Smaug with their oh so intimidating team made up of one magical hipster, a sort-of-but-you-had-better-not-ask wizard, and a disgraced detective inspector. But food and rest could not wait, and took priority over even the destruction of a great evil.

Bilbo was more than happy to just sit back and eat, and Thorin couldn't help but goggle as he gorged himself on an entire loaf of bread, three thick chunks of cheese, and a whole sleeve of chocolate digestives.

"Don't stare," Bilbo said, swallowing his mouthful and giving Thorin a bashful look. "Doing magic makes me hungry!"

"Do you do a lot of magic then?" Thorin couldn't help but tease.

Bilbo's jaw dropped. "Are you calling me fat?!"

Thorin bit back a smile. "Plump," he said. "That's what I thought when I first saw you...that you were pleasantly plump."

"Yeah, sure," Bilbo said skeptically. He finished off his cup of tea and leaned back in his chair a bit despondently.

And now Thorin felt bad.

"It's true!" he said, before pausing to find the right words. "I...well, to be honest, I thought you were lovely. And I...was very disappointed that you were a suspect in a murder."

He made a face at his own awkwardness but Bilbo was extremely amused. "And now that I'm not a suspect?"

Thorin raised his eyebrows. "And now that I know that you're just a magic man with a guitar, you mean?"

Bilbo smiled. "Yeah," he said, motioning for Thorin to answer.

"I...." He blew out a breath, realizing that Bilbo was just teasing. "You're a menace."

Bilbo cracked up. "A pleasantly plump one, though!" he cackled. "Hey, I'm flattered. Sincerely flattered. Still, I don't think it's a good idea to start dating each other while people are trying to kill us."

Thorin nodded sardonically.

"But once this is over I think we should probably have lots of sex."

Thorin's eyes widened, which only set Bilbo off again. Thankfully Gandalf decided that they were all in need of quiet time and herded Bilbo into Radagast's room to sleep. The wizard came back a little later and joined Thorin at the table, pouring himself a cup of tea with a sigh.

"You should sleep too, you know," Gandalf told him, watching him intently over the rim of his teacup.

Thorin considered him for a moment. "You knew my father well," he said, after a short silence. "You know about our...ancestry. About this whole world I'm supposed to be apart of."

Gandalf hummed in agreement.

"Why did my father never tell me?"

The wizard shook his head. "That I cannot answer, Thorin. I don't know why he kept it a secret from you. Perhaps he sought to keep you away from the danger that comes with knowing. Perhaps he thought you wouldn't want to know. I can only guess."

Thorin stared at his hands. "Then can you tell me this," he said, looking up and into Gandalf's eyes. "Who really killed my father?"

"Ah." Gandalf rubbed a hand down his face tiredly. "I suspect you met him tonight."

"After you get me what I want, I will kill you slowly."

Thorin raised his gun.

"Like I did your father."

"His name is Azog. He is the leader of a Warg pack, one of the many that work for Smaug on occasion. Now be aware, I am not entirely sure what happened, but Azog's kin fought your grandfather at one point, and many of them were wiped out. Azog swore an oath that he would destroy the line of Durin, and avenge his fallen pack. That is why he hunts you now, and it is likely what killed your father, in the end."

"Azog," Thorin said, repeating his name like a curse.

"Don't let vengeance cloud your judgement," Gandalf warned him. "You will meet your father's killer in battle soon enough."

He took the advice to heart and nodded. Gandalf pulled out a pipe from his robes (the man looked absolutely ridiculous in them, and Thorin wondered what normal people would have to say about it if they could see him) and packed it with tobacco. He puffed until the leaves smoldered, looking tired but peaceful.

A bit like Bilbo, in that he was excellent at pretending to be unfazed. Which reminded him....

"Can I ask you something?" he said, breaking the silence.

Gandalf eyed him amusedly, chewing on the end of his pipe. "You want to know about Bilbo," he surmised.

Thorin dipped his head somewhat sheepishly.

"You would not be the first, nor will you be the last, to be fascinated by Bilbo Baggins." Thorin started, having not known Bilbo's last name. "He is truly a one of a kind creature that never fails to surprise me."

Thorin's mouth quirked. "I don't know him that well," he admitted. "But somehow I understand what you mean."

"Yes, I dare say you do." The old wizard winked at him.

Trying not to blush, Thorin shook his head and turned serious again. "What I want to know is what his connection to Smaug is...why does he want Bilbo?"

Gandalf, whose face had grown more and more resigned as Thorin spoke, let out heavy sigh. "It's rather a long story."

"Well, I'm not going anywhere," he said, accidentally sounding a lot like his bobby alter-ego. "I want to know."

"Alright. I suppose...I suppose it starts with his power."

Thorin leaned forward.

"Bilbo's power is quite singular," said Gandalf. "Words have weight, and with the right words, well – you've seen what he can do; call up storms, ward off enemies, cause terrible destruction – I have also seen his influence on the mind. He can...persuade people to do things. Sometimes without him even realizing it. The point is, Bilbo has an extremely useful gift. Useful...but dangerous if uncontrolled, and Bilbo struggles with restraint."

"What about that other minstrel in England?" Thorin asked. "Bilbo said there was two. How do they control their powers?"

The old wizard sighed again. His favorite thing to do tonight, it seemed. "There is no second minstrel," he revealed. "There's not another minstrel in all the world. I made it up, to convince our kind that Bilbo is not as special as he truly is. I thought the existence of another would lure Smaug into seeking this fictitious person out, but alas, I underestimated Smaug's obsession with the boy."

"What is that obsession? Why does he want Bilbo so much?"

"Partially for his power." Gandalf shrugged. "But also because of his mother."

He frowned. "His mother?"

"Yes," Gandalf paused and relit his pipe, his expression reluctant. "What happened was this: one day, Bilbo's father got very sick, and Belladonna, Bilbo's mother, could not cure him. They had only been married six months...and here was Bungo at death's door. She was heartbroken. Bella worked night and day to find a cure for him, but nothing helped. It wasn't until another apothecary told her of the healing power of dragon scales, that Bella considered approaching Smaug. Unwilling to lose Bungo, she took the risk and begged the dragon for his help. Most likely finding her amusing, Smaug gave her one of his scales and simply told her that all he asked for in repayment was the fulfillment of a request at a later date."

Thorin winced.

"Yes. Terrible mistake. Bella returned home, and of course the scale worked, and Bungo was back on his feet in no time at all. Three months later, Bella realized she was pregnant with Bilbo, and he was born a healthy baby in late September. As the years passed little Bilbo was a delight to his parents and his extended relations; a bright star in an otherwise murky sky, one might say. And then one day, when Bilbo was six years old, Smaug finally called upon Bella for his favor.

"I think that he probably meant to ask her to do something cruel and humiliating for him. Yes, he no doubt had some form of torment in mind. But then, of course, he met Bilbo, and immediately knew that the boy had immense power. So he asked Belladonna for repayment...in the form of her firstborn son.

"As you can imagine, this didn't go over well. So Smaug made her a deal (he likes his games, if you recall). He would give them three chances to find a better form of repayment than the little boy. Once a year, he would visit and ask what they had for him instead. Three chances. Three years.

"The first year they presented him with their wealth. They'd worked endless hours, and saved and scrounged for months, feeding only Bilbo, until they'd collected a good sized fortune. This they offered to Smaug, but the dragon only laughed, and kissed and hugged Bilbo, who did not know any better and showed Smaug open affection (and I must say, I have always wondered if that had ever affected him; there were many times the dragon could have simply killed the boy, and yet...) in any case, he did not accept their offering, and went away until the next year.

"When he returned the second time, Bella and Bungo offered him something far more precious: their blood. Magical blood is extremely potent, and with it other magicals can, for a time, harness the other's gift. It cannot be donated by the very powerful, I'm afraid (and Belladonna was indeed, quite strong) so it was Bungo who stepped forward in exchange for his son's freedom. Smaug claimed that he would first try a taste of the man's blood to see whether or not it suited him. But a taste was not what he had in mind. He killed Bungo; tore him limb from limb as his wife watched, and after it was over, he announced that the blood was not good enough, and warned Belladonna that she had but one more year before she lost her son forever."

"He killed Bilbo's father."

"Yes. Now it was in the third year that everything changed. I never learned what Bella had planned to offer Smaug, for in the end it didn't matter. Smaug had something he wanted this time. A request that would void out his earlier claim on Bilbo. He had heard from some other calamity – some evil whisper somewhere – of words that could bring him unimaginable power. Of words that would give him dominion over the entire world. All Smaug needed was a wordsmith, a minstrel – a creature whom, at the time, was considered only a myth. But Smaug had suspected for a while that Bilbo was of the Words, and so he came to the Bagginses with a plan...and a curse.

"What he had with him was unspeakable. They were Words that should never be said aloud; should never be read, or even written down. Words that only Bilbo could invoke. But what Smaug did not realize was that though the power was within the Words, it also came from the wordsmith. That is to say, unless Smaug himself possessed Bilbo's gift, it could not be transferred. And it could not be stolen."

"So Bilbo has this...unimaginable power?"

"Perhaps," Gandalf muttered noncommittally. "Perhaps not. All that is known is that after it was Said, Smaug went off believing that it had worked. By the time he realized that he had been given nothing, Bella and Bilbo had already fled. From then on they moved about the world, helped by me and other enemies of Smaug. Kept secret. Safe. Smaug took her defiance very personally, and part of the reason he has searched so obsessively for them was because he believed that he had been tricked. They were truly lucky to have lived undetected for so long. Then, when Belladonna fell ill and died, Bilbo wanted more than anything to return to his home. And well, you see how that turned out."

Thorin closed his eyes for a moment. "Then he is in great danger.”

"We all are," Gandalf agreed, and then gave him a pointed look. "But that's where you come in."

In the next room, in a dream that he would not remember come morning, Bilbo stood in front of a roaring bonfire on a white cliff that overlooked an endless black sea.

"Alright, little one, you know what to do."

Bilbo smiled up at the nice man and turned to face the fire. He inhaled, slow and deep, and with considerable power collected on his tongue, he said,

"One ring to rule them all...."

"Do we even have a plan?"

"Of course we do, weren't you paying attention?"

"Yes, but I thought you were joking."

"Quiet."

They fell silent as Gandalf glanced around the warehouse from their hiding place behind a shipping container, his eyes roving over the men that prowled around the yard. Bilbo fidgeted beside Thorin, his guitar on his back, and Thorin almost laughed aloud when he realized that, in this case, his gun was completely outclassed next to a acoustic guitar. Bilbo caught him staring and gave him a 'what?' look.

"There," Gandalf suddenly spoke. He pointed his staff at a large tower crane just as its engines fired up. Lorries beeped as they backed up out of its way, and a man in a hard hat suddenly shouted and made the universal sign for OK. The crane rose, and on the end of it was...a rock?

"What the hell is that?"

But it wasn't Gandalf that answered. Instead, Bilbo got a queer look in his eye, and whispered, "there hammer on the anvil smote, there chisel clove, and graver wrote. There forged was blade, and bound was hilt; the delver mined, the mason built."

"Durin's axe," said Gandalf.

Thorin frowned at the rock attached to the end of the crane, until suddenly, he caught sight of something glinting in the sunlight. He then realized what he was looking at: it was a hilt. The hilt of an axe – which was firmly lodged in stone.

"That belongs to you," Bilbo told him, turning to him with a smile.

Thorin smiled back fondly.

"Now is our only chance," Gandalf interrupted, getting to his feet rather nimbly for an old man. "Thorin, you must get to the axe. No matter what happens, this is your task. You cannot fail."

"What am I supposed to do after that?" Thorin demanded, rattled by Gandalf's intensity.

The wizard stared into his eyes gravely. "You will know," was all he said. "Bilbo, with me."

"What? Wait!"

Bilbo put a reassuring hand on Thorin's shoulder. "It'll be alright," he told him. "We're just going to cause a distraction. It'll be fun."

Thorin wasn't fooled for a moment.

"Be careful," he said worriedly. "I mean it, Bilbo."

"I will," Bilbo promised, and then flashed him a wicked grin. "After all, I'm looking forward to all that sex."

Thorin blushed, and Bilbo laughed into the back of his hand as he moved away and ran off after Gandalf.

He turned his attention back to the axe. The workers were slowly lowering it onto the back of a flatbed lorry, and it didn't look as though they were in any sort of a hurry. As he waited, he checked his magazine before clicking the safety off his gun.

He nearly jumped out of his skin as a cacophonous screeching sound suddenly split the air. Forgetting what he was doing for a moment, he looked about wildly until he spotted the source of the commotion. A stack of shipping containers had toppled over, hitting another stack and causing three more to fall like dominoes. And there...there was Gandalf standing on top of a high platform, his staff glowing white.

Thorin heard a deep and guttural growl, and saw that the workers had abandoned their human skins for fur. Wargs. At least thirty of them. They snarled at Gandalf, half-crouched like sprinters at the starting line, ready to tear the wizard apart.

But then something sweet whistled through the air – something soft like a slow breeze at dusk, whispering:

come and see come and see what's hidden underneath come and see come and see my great big teeth.

Bilbo. Thorin spotted him on another container, perched like Gandalf and glowing – a smile on his face.

Who's afraid of the big bad wolf?

The ground exploded. It cracked and rose like a rocky wave, striking out at the Wargs and knocking them off their feet. Thorin himself was unaffected, and he knew that it was now or never. He tore off toward the stone as fast as his feet could carry him.

Rock and dust flew up around him as the Wargs yelped. Another pulse of Bilbo's guitar ripped through the air, propelling a Warg away from Thorin. He managed to get a few shots off, taking out two men coming for him head on, and then he made it to the lorry and slid behind it for cover.

His breath caught as he looked up and saw the axe in the stone. His birthright.

He knew what to do.

With a grunt, Thorin climbed up the side of the lorry and onto the bed. Around him the fight carried on, but he paid it no mind. He could not tear his eyes away from the axe.

Thorin reached forward. He wrapped his fingers around the hilt. He lifted.

The axe slid out, and the world trembled.

For a time Thorin wasn't aware of where he was, of what he was doing, or even who he was. There was only light; the light of the axe in his hand which shown bright enough to blind him. But it wasn't only coming from the axe, for it also grew out of Thorin's own body – enveloping him in warmth, and in courage, and in strength. It was a feeling reminiscent of being reunited with a long lost love. Of becoming whole.

This light had been in him all along, and all that was needed to summon it was his ancestor's call. A call he could hear now. And this time, he didn't need Bilbo to craft the words for him.

Unwearied then were Durin's folk; Beneath the mountains music woke: The harpers harped, the minstrels sang, And at the gates the trumpets rang. 5

Thorin could see something above him, hovering in and out of his mind's eye, and real, if one chose to look. It was bright and big, and strangely familiar to his heart.

It was a crown of stars.

The image shattered, and in its place was a shining helm, slowly descending toward Thorin. When it came close enough, he instinctively straightened his neck, letting it fall onto his head with gentle finality. It was then that Thorin came back to himself. He looked at the axe in his hand and touched the helm on his head, and felt content for the first time in a long time.

There was a growl - too close - and a Warg pounced on him, throwing them both over the side of the lorry. Viciously it snapped in Thorin's face with its sharp teeth and putrid breath. He struggled to get the thing off of him, using both hands to push the hilt of the axe into the Warg's neck to keep it from biting him. Thorin managed to get a leg underneath him and he shoved as hard as he could.

The Warg fell, but another one came for him from the opposite direction. Thorin breathed hard, glancing down at his weapon. He brought it down to his side, took a deep breath, and sliced upward.

The ground rose with it, summoning hot rock and spitting magma. Black stone bloomed at his feet, cracked with crawling lava. He suddenly registered the screams – the Warg, blinded by Thorin's strike, was now writhing in the dirt. He turned to see the other gain its feet and charge him, and this time Thorin made contact. The axe cracked into the Warg's chest and sent it flying.

Before he could marvel at its strength, he was being attacked again, and this time he noticed that Bilbo and Gandalf were facing the Wargs too, and that their numbers had grown.

It was a veritable army that marched toward them now, all of them glaring with bright eyes full of malice. Thorin fought off the Wargs closest to him and stopped to think for a moment, breathing hard.

His wandering gaze found the tower crane.

It was risky, but there were too many for Thorin to take on by himself, and Bilbo and Gandalf had to be tiring.... He made his decision and sprinted over to its base, quickly judging where he should strike.

Please let this work, he thought, before using both hands to draw back the axe and chop at the base of the crane, almost as if it were a tree.

He'd figured it would take a couple of hits, but this was also one hell of an axe.

The base exploded as if Thorin had launched a rocket at it. There was an ungodly, groaning screech – one of the strangest and most frightening sounds he had ever heard – and then the crane was coming down. The Wargs in its path didn't stand a chance, for there was nowhere to really run. The steel rained from the sky and landed with a tremendous crash.

Thorin watched, wide-eyed, as the dust cleared. He caught a glimpse of Bilbo hopping up and down on his container, cheering, and couldn't help but smile.

They had won.

And then there was pain.

"Thorin!"

From far away he heard Bilbo call to him, but there was something wrong...his arm –

He opened his eyes just in time to dodge Azog's mace. Rolling to his feet with a pained moan, Thorin held his axe and his aching arm close to his chest. The pain was horrible, and he could feel warm blood trailing down his fingers.

Azog did not wait for Thorin to gain his bearings. He charged, swinging his mace toward Thorin's head. He let go of his arm and brought the axe up to parry, dragging the mace to the side. Thorin backed away swiftly as Azog moved to swipe at him again. He heard a frightened yelp coming from where Bilbo was, and he turned to see...he wasn't sure what he was seeing.

Giant...trolls?

The earth trembled as they moved toward Bilbo and Gandalf, the wizard raising his staff high into the air. But then Thorin had no time to watch his companions, because Azog was lumbering toward him with a cruel smile on his face.

"Durin," he growled, and there was amusement in his voice. "Durin the Deathless. King Under the Mountain."

Thorin frowned, keeping his axe up as Azog circled him.

"That right is mine," said Azog, pointing his mace at Thorin's helm. "That is my crown."

"This is the right of Durin's folk," he snapped, angry that Azog was even looking at the weapon of his ancestors. "Not filth like you!"

"Durin's folk," Azog laughed, his scarred face deforming grotesquely. "Dead folk. Unworthy. Not even Thrain's pride could inspire your ancestors to crown a new king."

Thorin went very still. "You killed him – " he said, shaking with fury. "It was you, wasn't it? You bastard – "

"I thought the old fool would pull the axe from the stone, and then I would harness its power." Azog eyed the weapon and helm with envy. "But it seems your father was not good enough for the crown. It seems he wasn't a true king."

Thorin attacked, bringing up his axe and striking at Azog over and over. The Warg managed to block, but something else was happening – heat rose from the ground, blackening everywhere Thorin stepped, and embers rose from the hot blade of his axe, creating a burning gust as powerful as the strongest bellows in the largest forge.

Rage raised the fire higher, and rock and ash burst from the ground and pummeled Azog from every side. Still Thorin pressed him, roaring as the earth shook and flames leapt from the edge of his blade. Azog cried out and smashed to the dirt after a particularly hard strike, and Thorin stood over him panting.

Azog cackled, blood on his teeth.

Father, thought Thorin. He raised the axe....

There lies his crown in water deep, i> till Durin wakes again from sleep. 

....and brought it down.

"Whoa, there," he said, catching Gandalf as he swayed from side to side. "Alright, old man?"

"Old!" Gandalf coughed, giving Thorin a one-eyed glare. "Old enough to take care of those!"

He waved his staff in the direction of the giant, ugly....

"What are these exactly?"

"Trolls!" said Gandalf, stretching his back with a pained groan. "Dimwitted creatures with terrible hygiene."

Thorin's mouth twitched. "Well done, then," he said. "Where's Bilbo gone?"

"He's around here somewhere." Gandalf waved a hand vaguely.

"I'll get him." Thorin moved off once he was sure the wizard wouldn't fall over, and walked toward Bilbo's container. He looked up as he came to it, but didn't see him.

"Bilbo?" Thorin called, but there was no answer.

Frowning, Thorin walked around to where he'd last seen the man, standing tall and invincible and laughing in the face of an army. But Bilbo wasn't there.

Thorin squinted, catching sight of a trail of blood. His eyes followed it from the top of the container to the bottom, where it pooled sickeningly. He quickly followed it  around to the other side, and then gasped.

On the ground beside where Bilbo once stood – was his guitar.

Thorin plucked at a few strings listlessly, staring off into the distance. He heard Gandalf arguing with someone in the next room, but couldn't be bothered to listen. He kept seeing Bilbo's quirky little smile, and he swore he could hear his sweet, understated voice singing words filled with affection and good humor. It was strange how much Bilbo being gone affected him – Thorin not only felt paralyzed with guilt and worry, but his heart was hurting too.

" – matter of great importance! I would not ask otherwise!"

There was a low murmur as whoever it was they were talking to responded to Gandalf. Then there was silence. Thorin looked toward the door as Gandalf came thundering out of the room. He caught a glimpse of a glowing orb and a timid looking Radagast, before Gandalf's terrible temper demanded his attention.

"They refuse to help! Insufferable creatures!"

"Who?"

"Your subjects, that's who! Our fellows who are too scared of calamities to fight them, and much too stupid to understand that they haven't a choice! Evil such as this can never be left to its own devices!"

Thorin scoffed. "And they won't answer to me? To the king of...whatever?"

"They need proof first," explained Gandalf, his face stormy. "And they will get it, but not now. Now we must rescue Bilbo from Smaug. Do you remember what I told you, Thorin, of Bilbo's story?"

He met Gandalf's eyes, recalling the details now...realizing that things were a lot more dire than he thought. "Bilbo's power...."

"Yes," Gandalf confirmed gravely. "Which is why I must go with or without the help of my peers. Without you, even. I cannot leave Bilbo to this horrid fate, nor allow this world to suffer the spread of so great a darkness. Smaug must be stopped."

Thorin swung the guitar around his back and stood up. He faced the wizard determinedly, jamming the helm onto his head and holding onto his axe with both hands.

"Let's go," he said.

But Gandalf did not move, and instead looked down at Thorin gravely. "It is very dangerous," he warned. "We may very well die."

Thorin shook his head. "I don't care."

The wizard nodded. "Good, nor do I," he agreed, and they set off into the night.

Thorin had never technically been to Smaug's penthouse. He'd certainly staked out the outside of it, but he didn't think that counted. Getting a search warrant from the magistrates had always been like pulling teeth, but in Smaug's case it was nearly impossible. He was a man of means and shamelessly unethical, and approaching the courts with a blank cheque was not above him, nor would it be a surprise. All this meant was that storming the flat, as it were, was made doubly difficult by Thorin's not knowing the place he was walking into.

"What should we do? Is there a way in? Should we climb up the lift shaft?"

Gandalf stared at him dubiously. "Don't be ridiculous, we need only convince the security guards to let us pass. I don't imagine it will be very difficult. Though your appearance leaves much to be desired."

"My appearance?" Thorin said. "You're wearing a dress and a pointy hat."

Gandalf narrowed his eyes at him, but Thorin pressed on. "Can't you do a spell? Make us invisible? Bilbo mentioned that he could do something like that."

"Yes, but that is Bilbo," the wizard told him. "My magic is quite different from his, I'm afraid. Spells like invisibility are too subtle for me to do with any sort of precision, I would only blow you up if I were to attempt it."

Thorin did not want to be blown up.

"Right." He nodded. "I'll hide my axe and take the helm off if you'll at least give up the cap. I'm assuming the staff is staying?"

Gandalf scowled at him – so yes.

Without further delay, Thorin and the wizard made their way to Smaug's building. His flat was at the very top, and Thorin eyed the lifts behind the front desk determinedly. A security guard stood by, watching them.

"Can I help you?" said the concierge.

"Yes, I'm afraid I've locked myself out of my flat," Gandalf lied, and not very well. "I'll just be going – "

"I'm sorry, sir." The concierge frowned. "May I ask your name?"

Gandalf looked from side to side, as if thinking over his options. Thorin covered his eyes with his hand.

"Smaug...?" said Gandalf.

The concierge raised both eyebrows and looked the old man up and down. "Sorry?"

The security guard was stepping forward.

"No, no," the wizard said hastily. "I mean that Smaug is my nephew. Yes. My favorite nephew. Although perhaps not."

"I'll go ahead and phone Mr. Smaug, sir, and see if we can't clear this up," offered the concierge, his expression bemused.

"No!" Gandalf said. "There's no need for that, surely? Can I call you Shirley?"

Thorin groaned aloud this time.

"It's a surprise visit! Yes. For his...birthday."

The concierge hung up the phone. "Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

"Oh, but...." The security guard was coming over now, and there went their chances of remaining inconspicuous. The doors to the lobby suddenly crashed open, and Thorin and Gandalf turned to look.

Blocking their exit was a group of truly bizarre looking creatures. They were humpbacked and bald, their pallor a sickly grey and their eyes too big for their face. They snarled, showing off rotted, blackened teeth, and began to prowl closer.

"What are these things?" asked Thorin, slamming his helm on his head and taking the axe out from under his coat.

"Goblins," said Gandalf. "Very fast. Man-eaters. Quite unpleasant."

Thorin raised an eyebrow, and then prepared to defend himself as the daywalkers shot toward them. Thorin swung his axe and two of the creatures went flying. He saw the wizard point his staff, sending three into fits of pain. They screeched and drooled on the floor, but their fellows did not stop to help them. There were so many, coming from out of nowhere – Thorin struck out over and over but saw no end to them.

"Enough!" said Gandalf, clearing a space around himself. "Keep that helm on your head, Thorin Durin, or perish with them."

"What?" Thorin shouted, but Gandalf was already raising his staff.

He brought it down and a blinding light filled the room. Thorin slammed his eyes closed, listening as the snarls abruptly stopped and a car horn went off before there was a loud crash. Then everything went silent.

Oddly, it was difficult to reopen his eyes, but he managed with a great deal of willpower. He immediately saw that Gandalf was surrounded by collapsed goblins. Then he looked at the security guard and concierge, who were similarly knocked out.

"Have you killed them?" Thorin yelped.

"Of course not!" Gandalf denied defensively. "They are merely asleep."

Thorin saw now that people on the street had passed out as well, a few at the wheel but miraculously crashing without hurting themselves or others. Thorin gaped at Gandalf accusingly.

"How many people did you do this to?" he demanded. "And why wasn't I affected?"

Gandalf turned toward the lifts impatiently. "Your helm, of course. There is little that can penetrate it. I am unsure just how many people were put to sleep, but I wouldn't worry so. It's a relatively harmless spell, I assure you."

That didn't reassure Thorin at all, but there wasn't time for getting angry at Gandalf. "I doubt the spell managed to reach the upstairs," the wizard said. "We'd best hurry."

They quickly sprinted for the lifts and crammed in, awkwardly adjusting axe and staff so as to not hit each other. Then they pressed the button for the top floor. They had just made it past the sixth when they stopped and the doors popped open. Thorin quickly pressed for them to close again but nothing happened.

"Bugger," he said when a horde of Wargs appeared in the hallway.

"I suppose we'll take the stairs," said Gandalf, a bit sadly. He quickly left the lift, his staff held high, and bowled over the Wargs at the front of the pack. Thorin followed with his axe, striking down the second wave.

The last two were bigger than the others, and Thorin faced them warily as they stepped up and over the downed members of their pack. Then they transformed, and Thorin saw a true Warg for the first time.

They were massive, rather more the size of a bear than a wolf, and their jaws looked so powerful that Thorin was sure they could cut him in half with one bite. Their fur was a thick brown and a bit mangy, and their eyes were yellow-red.

As they prowled closer, Thorin raised his axe and wished he knew more about using it in combat, and just more about combat in general. So far he'd been holding his own, but these were also really big wolves.

He had no time for fear, however, because the Warg was coming for him, and he was suddenly using his axe to keep those teeth away from his throat.

The Warg snapped and spat, and then clawed down Thorin's side. He yelled out in pain, cursing as he used his upper body strength to shove the thing off of him. He felt something strain in his already injured arm when he did it, and seeing as the Warg had to be over three hundred pounds, it was no wonder his arm felt useless when he managed to get back on his feet. The Warg came for him again and he cried out in agony as he raised his axe and brought it down on its head.

There was no strength behind it, Thorin's arm was shot and his speed was dismal, but the moment it touched the Warg's head the axe seemed to sense its master's desperation and gathered its own power. It slammed into the Warg and drove its head straight into the ground, breaking apart the carpeted floor and leaving a Warg shaped hole. Its bum and legs stuck up a bit, and Thorin couldn't help but laugh a little.

He turned and helped Gandalf finish off the last one (nearly getting singed by one of the wizard's spells for his efforts) and by the time the pack had been defeated they were in pretty rough shape. Thorin panted, checking his bleeding side and moaning every time he moved his arm.

"Come, I can help with the pain," said Gandalf, motioning to him.

Thorin gazed at him skeptically, but handed over his arm for inspection anyway. It hurt too much not to. "You said you couldn't do subtle magics."

Gandalf sent him a disgruntled look. "You may be a bit giddy afterward, possibly even for a day or so, but you shan't be in so much pain. Now which is it? Yes or no?"

"Yes."

The wizard's spell did indeed make Thorin feel giddy, and also extremely refreshed. With a new energy he took his arm from Gandalf and hefted up his axe.

"Your arm is still injured, Thorin, so mind how you use it," Gandalf warned him, watching as Thorin tried the lift again. They made for the stairs when it refused to work.

They climbed as quickly as they could, the axe heavy and the miraculously unharmed guitar bumping against his back. He counted the seventh, eighth, and ninth floors before losing track. The penthouse was on the fifteenth, and to Thorin that seemed thousands of miles away.

It was on the thirteenth floor that something strange started to happen; there was an odd scraping and tapping noise, as if thousands of needles were falling onto metal. The unseen thing hissed like something slithering, and Thorin slowed in order to listen closer.

Then something came down the staircase. It was black and spindly, and made of what looked like tendrils of writhing vines that slowly inched toward Thorin and the wizard.

"Don't let them touch you!" cried Gandalf. "They are probably poisoned."

Thorin swallowed around a groan of frustration and began to hack away at the vines, but like a hydra, the more he cut the more they seemed to multiply.

"How exactly am I supposed to kill this thing?!" Thorin asked as the thorns continued to advance.

"I'm thinking, I'm thinking," Gandalf said unhelpfully.

Thorin continued to hack and slash, getting nowhere. "Can't you use light or something? Like from the movie?"

Gandalf's head shot up. "What movie?"

"Harry Potter!" Thorin yelled.

His expression grew thunderous. "That isn't real magic!" he snapped. "And I am not that Dumbledorf person!"

"Oh for god’s sake!" Thorin shouted in frustration.

He purposely recalled the sensation he had felt the first time he had used the axe – the moment when he'd called up the hot rock and flame – but this time he wished for searing light to accompany it.

The axe came down and flame spread out in a fan, electricity running ahead of it like foam on a wave. It crashed into the thorns and incinerated them, sending a strange sulfuric stink into the air.

Thorin coughed and looked around at Gandalf. "See?" he couldn't help but needle. "Are you a wizard or not?"

Gandalf scowled. "Yes, well, fire tends to work most of the time," the old man grumbled.

They ascended once more, climbing up to the fifteenth floor at long last, but wary of what they would meet there. The door to the stairwell swung open easy enough, and Thorin saw a long hallway before him. At the very end was a door made of textured glass.

Thorin and Gandalf walked toward it cautiously, the eerie silence of the hall a large difference to the chaotic noise of before. Thorin's ears were even ringing.

When he reached the end, he hesitated.

Despite his fear for Bilbo and the adrenaline coursing through him, he had to stop and take a deep breath before touching the handle. When he finally did it clicked open easily.

"This is absolutely a trap," Thorin hissed, looking around.

The room was painted a deep gold, with red neon lights lining the high ceiling. A large tube-like structure made of the same textured glass as the door sat in the middle of the otherwise empty room.

Thorin moved forward cautiously, peering around it. That's when he saw the opening, and that's when he saw Bilbo.

Thorin immediately ran to his side, calling his name. Bilbo was laid out on a gold colored bed, looking just the same as when Thorin had last seen him. His ugly yellow cardigan and maroon knit cap were slightly askew, but otherwise...he was completely unhurt.

And yet Bilbo would not wake.

"Bilbo? Bilbo?" Thorin shook him a little. "Bilbo, wake up."

"An enchanted sleep will not hold his power for long," Gandalf suddenly said. Thorin turned around quickly, spying the wizard looking at someone standing in the doorway.

"No, but it will keep him quiet," responded Smaug, and of course it was him.

Thorin stepped away from Bilbo, removing the guitar from his back and gently placing it on the floor beside the bed. He left the glass circle, creeping out until he caught sight of Smaug.

The dragon faced them calmly, his sharp gaze finding Thorin before flicking back to the wizard. He wore a fitted black suit, and his long, chiseled face, was as hard as stone. As usual, his full lips were turned up in a cruel smirk.

"You cannot take the power of the ring for yourself. It is lost to you now," Gandalf said, leaning on his staff.

"Then I'm sure I can...persuade him to work for me," Smaug replied, shrugging. "He's always been such a gullible little thing. So eager to please...."

Thorin's face grew hot with fury. "You'll have to kill us first," Thorin snarled. "He's a wizard, and I'm a king. How good do you think your chances are?"

Smaug raised his eyebrows in amusement.

"A king, are you?" he said silkily. "So quick to take up that honorable mantle, Detective Inspector! Could it be you enjoy the power that axe gives you? It feels good doesn't it? To destroy. To command. To be more than just human. What makes you so different from me?"

Thorin glared. "The biggest difference is that I don't do monologues," he replied, and raised the axe. To his satisfaction, he saw Smaug's eyes widen as the weapon came down, striking the floor with a boom.

The dragon was thrown off of his feet and into the door, which shattered on contact. Gandalf shot a bright, pulsing light from the end of his staff, and it slammed into Smaug, who screamed in pain. As Thorin advanced, he felt the hilt of the axe heat and looked down as sparks came off of its straight edge. It must have been hot enough to burn, but Thorin's hands remained unharmed.

Gandalf's spell ceased, the old man seeming to tire a bit, and Thorin stepped forward and slashed his axe across his body with one hand. The ground rumbled and turned to hot black stone, from which bright orange magma bubbled and hissed to the surface. He marveled for a moment at the magic it took to summon a veritable volcano in a penthouse flat, before he was distracted by the liquified floor. It had turned to lava, and Smaug was sinking into it with an ungodly screech.

And then those pained eyes focused on Thorin, and his porcelain skin began to change. Black vines, reminiscent of the thorny creature that had attacked them on the stairwell, crawled out of Smaug's eyes, which had turned the color of fire.

Then Gandalf stepped back. "Oh, dear," he said.

Thorin looked at him quizzically, not liking the sound of that, but he understood why the wizard was wary when the strange vines around Smaug's body began to pulse.

"You will burn," the dragon hissed, and then exploded into darkness.

Writhing clouds of pure black smoke flew up into the air, congealing to form a hulking, massive shape. The roof groaned and broke open, and Thorin tripped over his feet to get away from the falling debris.

Smaug the dragon, the actual dragon, came out of the smoke head first; his snake-like neck curving back as if he were stretching after a long time trapped somewhere small.

"Our little game ends here," Smaug rumbled, his voice was like thunder. "Now you die."

Thorin dove out of the way just in time as Smaug let loose a ball of fire. He moved quickly out of the dragon's reach, stumbling into the far wall, and too late realized that he was close to the sleeping Bilbo and probably putting him in terrible danger.

And yet Smaug did not attack. He eyed Bilbo as well, his head swaying from side to side in agitation, and Thorin understood that the dragon would not risk hurting the minstrel with his fire.

That did not stop his teeth, however, and then Thorin was moving again – this time away from the dragon's snapping jaws.

As he dodged and ducked, he heard Gandalf call out from above, and Thorin looked up and saw that the wizard had escaped up to the roof. He seemed to be chanting and slowly gathering light at the tip of his staff. Smaug narrowed his eyes at the wizard and slithered through the hole in the ceiling, completely distracted by the foreboding shine of the spell.

Thorin followed, nearly tripping over bits of plaster, and managed to pull himself up to the next floor with the help of some stacked debris. On the next level he immediately saw a stairwell to the roof, and he sprinted toward it and up to the outside. And just in time too – for Gandalf's spell had only made the dragon angrier.

The night was brisk and windy, and Thorin could see twinkling stars behind Smaug's red-scaled bulk. Gandalf glowed a bright white, and in solidarity the axe in Thorin's hand pulsed with heat. He watched as Smaug reared back, the scales on his chest beginning to ignite, and did something he had never done before. He held the axe securely by its hilt, reached back, and let it fly.

It was aimed straight for Smaug's chest, but the dragon had seen him prepare to throw it, and brought up his wing just in time. Miraculously, the axe did not bounce off of the armor-like scales, and instead sunk deep into his hide.

Smaug roared in pain and fury, clawing at the axe until it fell to the ground. Thorin watched it with despairing eyes, swallowing as the dragon angrily crouched and made ready to pounce.

Thorin had no choice but to run, but where to run to? He took off for the other side of the roof, listening as Gandalf shouted in some other language and the wind suddenly grew stronger. He had to find his weapon –

The floor cracked beneath his feet and collapsed, and Thorin's stomach dropped as he fell, his hands reaching out desperately for something to grab. He landed bum first on the next floor, which crumbled apart but thankfully slowed his fall, and before he knew it he was crashing back into Smaug's penthouse.

He groaned, feeling blood roll down his leg and side, and reached up to wipe the dust out of his nose. The ground shook as he crawled blindly toward the wall, frightened of falling again.

He heard the dragon roar and knew he should get up – he knew that the wizard needed his help – but his axe was gone and though his helm protected his head it didn't do much else. He took a second to catch his breath, riding out the pain from his injuries. He turned his head tiredly, looking around at the destruction, when his eyes caught sight of the large glass circle.

"Bilbo," he murmured, starting to panic. How had he forgotten about Bilbo? The room was trashed, the roof was falling down, and the dragon was crashing around and setting fire to everything and poor Bilbo was, was –

Completely fine.

"You lucky sod," he laughed, quickly moving to Bilbo's side. It must have been some magic spell that kept him from harm, for everything within the glass circle was relatively unscathed, though a bit dusty. Thorin put his hand over Bilbo's, feeling tired and sore. He needed to finish this, for Bilbo's sake.

And apparently Smaug agreed; the dragon crashed through what was left of the ceiling and braced his forelegs on the floor, the rest of his large body coiled on the roof.

"Thief!" rumbled Smaug. "You will take nothing from me! I laid low the warriors of old, and now you shall meet the same fate, o' Son of Durin!"

The dragon opened his jaws, showing off his terrible teeth, and Thorin looked around desperately for something, anything to use as a weapon.

His eyes found Bilbo's guitar.

He dove out of the way of Smaug's reach, wincing when he heard his huge jaw snap closed, and crawled quickly toward the instrument. Thorin picked the surprisingly heavy guitar up just in time, swinging it around to hold in front of him as Smaug thankfully bit into it instead of Thorin.

The guitar splintered and then broke apart, the wooden top separating from the whole, and Thorin felt bad for a second until he realized that there was nothing else to use to defend himself but the remains of the guitar. It wouldn't do much, but he grabbed the wooden top anyway and held onto it by the hole, using it to cover most of his arm and face as Smaug attacked, and this time with his skull.

And surprisingly, the top didn't break. Instead, the force of Smaug's head butt pushed Thorin back, his feet sliding along the ground until his heel caught on a chunk of concrete. He went down hard but forced himself to keep moving, to keep rolling away and to run, run, run to who knew where....

The axe.

He spotted it underneath a large piece of the fallen ceiling, and he ran full tilt for it. Smaug slithered after him, but Thorin was faster now, for there was at last an end in sight. He crashed into the wreckage and reached beneath it, feeling the hilt and wrapping his hand around it. Smaug took a breath.

The world was fire, but Thorin wasn't burning. He had thrust the guitar top and axe in front of him without thinking, and the flames crashed into the shield and axe and fanned out around him. Thorin knew then that this was his only chance; that his body simply could not take much more of this. So he closed his eyes and listened to the call.

The King beneath the mountains. 6

....began a voice not unlike Bilbo's. The dragon's deadly fire ran out, and Thorin brought his axe close to his lips. He said the next verse, this time.

The King of carven stone.

Smaug was preparing another strike, but Thorin knew what to do. Thorin was ready. He reached back with his axe in hand, feet staggered and spread apart.

The lord of silver fountains.

His whole body twisted forward, and with stunning accuracy, he threw the axe straight for Smaug's heart.

It met its mark.

...shall come into his own!

Smaug roared and writhed in pain, the axe lodged deep within his breast. From where the blade had punctured him, cracks soon appeared – Smaug's chest glowing as the axe worked its destructive magic. Then the great lizard bellowed one last time, and his body cracked like broken glass – and finally shattered.

Golden sparks burst from where the dragon once stood, and Thorin covered his eyes as they went every which way. When all was done and the room had fallen silent, he looked up cautiously...and saw that the dragon was gone. That Smaug had at last been defeated.

Out of breath and hurting worse than he ever had in his life, Thorin stood there in disbelief. A smile slowly spread across his face, and he couldn't help but laugh when he realized that the danger had passed, and that against all odds...he had survived.

Then he remembered Bilbo.

His breath caught and he spun around, seeing Bilbo there still fast asleep. Thorin stumbled over and leaned heavily against the bed, wondering if Bilbo should have woken by now. He heard grumbling and the sound of falling concrete as Gandalf jumped down from the floor above and back into the room.

"Why isn't he awake?" Thorin said, turning to glare at Gandalf.

Gandalf brushed off his robes and glared back. "How would I know? The enchantment should have ended. Perhaps if you give it a moment? So impatient!"

But Thorin was remembering something. It was a wild theory and unlikely to do much of anything, but all he could think of was leaning down and kissing Bilbo lightly on the lips. And so he did it.

It lasted only a few seconds, but it was the sweetest few seconds Thorin had ever known.

And then Bilbo's eyes fluttered open.

"Hmm?" he inquired, blinking the tiredness out of his eyes.

Thorin flinched backward, putting up empty hands in surrender should Bilbo be cross. But the man only yawned and peered at Thorin happily, looking for all the world like he had just woken from a rather pleasant siesta.

Then his smile vanished, and his eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Hold on," he said, pushing himself up into a sitting position. "Was that a kiss? Were you just kissing me right now?"

"No!" Thorin answered automatically, and then he winced again. "Yes. Sorry."

Bilbo stared at him for a moment before grinning slowly. "That's alright," he said cheerfully. "I'm just sorry I missed it. But where on earth am I? Was I asleep? Holy shit, what a mess! Ooh, wait – "

Bilbo leaned into Thorin's space excitedly. "Was that true love's first kiss?"

Gandalf, who had been shuffling around in the wreckage, threw them both an irritated look. "Of course not," he said crossly, kicking a piece of broken plasterboard away. "This isn't a fairytale!"

Bilbo made a face. "Spoilsport."

"Another gas leak! The world is just falling apart," said Bilbo, slapping down the front page of the newspaper. A picture of the ruins of Smaug's penthouse was on the cover, and Thorin couldn't help but shake his head. Had he truly been that oblivious once? How many gas leaks had really been gas leaks, anyway?

The morning after the battle with Smaug was horrid for both Gandalf and Thorin. Gandalf was still asleep, snoring away in Radagast's room, while Thorin had been up at the crack of dawn as always, unable to ignore his internal clock. His whole body protested any and all movement, but he'd made it to the loo and the kitchen well enough, and then couldn't find the energy to slouch back to bed after that.

Bilbo had taken the initiative and had made him some porridge and tea, and then happily hovered around him like a mother hen.

"At least no one was killed," Bilbo said thoughtfully, popping a piece of toast in his mouth. "You two got the worst of it. How's your arm by the way? Should I change your bandages?"

"In a bit," Thorin told him, smiling softly. "I'm glad you're alright, you know."

Bilbo nudged him with his shoulder playfully. "Me too! And thank you for saving me," he said. "I can't believe you defeated a dragon all by yourself! It's very cinematic!"

"Stupid more like," Thorin scoffed, taking a sip of his tea. "We nearly died multiple times. But it was worth it, in the end, to see you safe."

Bilbo looked at him for a moment, his expression terribly fond. Then he leaned over and kissed Thorin on the cheek.

"Finish your breakfast," he said, and got up to refill the kettle.

Thorin took a few more slow bites, his gritty eyes fixing on the axe and helm leaning casually against the wall. And next to it was the remains of Bilbo's guitar....

"Bilbo," he began, feeling positively wretched. "I'm so sorry about your guitar."

But Bilbo only smiled. "Oh that's alright!" He waved it off. "I can make another. I didn't much like using oak for it anyway. Too heavy...."

He cast a curious glance at the splintered pieces. "Made a great shield though," he added cheekily.

Thorin snorted. "That it did."

After he finished eating he let Bilbo pile gauze and sterile pads on the table, watching as the man bustled around the kitchen. He carried over a round bowl full of hot kettle water, and Thorin obligingly removed his shirt. Bilbo hissed in sympathy when he slowly removed the soiled bandages.

"Tell me if I hurt you," he said, and began to clean the wound.

Thorin's arm would need to be re-wrapped, as well as his leg, and he felt a bit guilty about enjoying Bilbo's ministrations, despite the pain it brought. He liked having Bilbo close, and he especially liked the coddling. Who knew Thorin was so fond of being fussed over? He couldn't help but gaze at the man affectionately as he worked.

"So, I don't mean to be that person," Bilbo began, his attention on Thorin's wound. "But someone has to say it: what now?"

Thorin frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that Smaug is gone, and half the hunstman in England are dead. All that's left are people like us. And we still don't have a leader."

Thorin looked away.

"Once word gets around that Smaug isn't in charge anymore, someone or something is going to rush to fill that void. I'm not saying it should be you – "

"But shouldn't it be me?" he interrupted, meeting Bilbo's eyes. "Aren't I...king now?"  

"Well, I didn't vote for you."

Thorin raised an eyebrow. "Really?" he said in amused disbelief.

Bilbo shrugged, a shit-eating grin on his face. "Couldn't help myself. But yeah. I guess you are king. King of...I don't know, a load of people with bizarre talents, probably. But hey, you know what? I think you'll make a splendid king for us. Best we've ever had."

"You haven't had any."

"Exactly!"

He shook his head at Bilbo, but he was smiling. "What about my life, Bilbo? I don't...want to leave it behind. I like my job. I worked hard to get where I am. But most of all I just still want to help people."

Bilbo bit his cheek and looked away thoughtfully. "Well, there's no reason you can't be a king and a cop."

"You're not serious," Thorin laughed, though he didn't find it funny.

"Why not? At least for now you can keep that part of your old life."  Bilbo secured the gauze around his chest and sat back with a sigh. "We've got lots of work to do before you're even considered a real king anyway."

Thorin nodded at the table. "That's right, whose to say the magicals will ever acknowledge the crown? Might be a lost cause."

"Not at all!" Bilbo wrapped a gentle arm around his shoulders, hugging him. "People talk, you know, and they'll be talking about this battle for a long time. 'King Thorin' they'll say, 'wielder of axe and broken guitar! A most excellent detective and surprise kisser!'"

Thorin groaned. "I'm never going to live that down."

"Aww, but it was true love!" said Bilbo, giggling. "You woke me from an enchanted sleep and now we're obligated to give it a go! In fact, we can just skip the courting and get right to the se – "

He cut Bilbo off with a kiss. Thorin had to live up to the legend, after all.

"Got one for you, detective," said the desk sergeant, poking his head into Thorin's office.

"Yeah, I'm coming."

Thorin pushed aside his paperwork and slipped on his blazer, walking idly toward the interrogation room. "What's this?" he asked Bofur.

"Lady come in asking for you," Bofur shrugged. "Said she wanted to speak to you alone."

Thorin sighed and nodded, taking the case file Bofur handed to him. He opened the door and slipped inside.

"Heard you wanted to talk to me," said Thorin, cutting to the chase. "What seems to be the problem?"

The red headed woman sitting at the table had an earnest look about her, and her green eyes were bright as she solemnly said, "I'd like to report a crime."

Thorin frowned. "Alright...?"

"It's to do with...one of ours."

His stomach swooped nervously, and he titled his head at her in confusion. "One...one of ours?" he repeated.

"Yes," said the woman. Then she eyed him speculatively. "You...you are King Thorin Oakenshield, aren't you?"

Thorin inhaled, mouth moving but nothing coming out.

"The detective?" she pressed.

He let out a long breath. King Thorin Oakenshield, he thought with an laugh. That was Bilbo all over. And...she had called him a king and a detective. She knew of him. Bilbo was right...word was spreading. 

And now it sounded like she needed his help.

He turned his attention back on the woman, who had been waiting very patiently.

"Yes..." Thorin said, smiling a little. "I suppose I am."

Notes:

(1) The Old Walking Song (original)


(2) derivative of “or so sworn, good or evil, an oath may not be broken, and it shall pursue oathkeeper and oathbreaker to the world’s end.”


(3) “Down the swift dark stream…” from The Hobbit


(4) literally what the legend says


(5) “Song of Durin” from The Fellowship of the Ring


(6) “The King Beneath the Mountain” from The Hobbit

[veganvagabond88]

Bangkok to Chiang Mai

We decided to get the sleeper train from Bangkok, it was actually really good, super clean, you get your bed made up for you to with fresh packaged sheets and a decent pillow. Its noisy so bring ear plugs but quite comfy. I would recommend It however we got ripped off, don't go with an agency just book train tickets on line and accommodation separate. We got some food to take on the train before hand which I’m glad we did as you cant really get anything on the train except pot noodle type things and drinks. (no alcohol allowed, so if you bring some beers drink them behind your curtain). I had quite a good night, I had my beer and some snacks so I got snuggled up on my bunk and caught up on supernatural haha (Im sooooo behind!) I didnt get to sleep till gone 2am as there were a few noisy neighbours but besides that it was a good journey.

We arrived at around 7am on the 9th of January, my birthday! weird being away from my family for it, but its ok Im in a beautiful hot country so I cant complain :p

we checked in then went for a birthday breakfast :)

The Hostel we stayed at was pretty shit, luckily we only booked one night. We found another one on the north end of the old town which was quite a nice hotel called Royal Paneri they had a special offer on 655THB a night so we booked two nights.

Nice room however alot of mosquito's in the room, we blocked up every possible way they could get in but they still did, constantly clapping our hands together got pretty tiresome and after getting quite a few nasty bites we decided to get a different place to stay.

We stumbled across the Baan Lansa which was just by the hotel it's really nice and the guy did us a deal 700THB a night for 5 nights (it's usually 750) really quiet it feels like no one else is staying here. However there is some traffic noise and weirdly loads of birds gather at night here and have a party...Ear plugs are a must! Id definitely recommend staying here though the food is great also and we rented a decent scooter from him for 200THB. I would like to of stayed there longer but we need to budget more so we moved out after 5 nights to a more budget friendly place called the 18 Terrace Guesthouse, its in a perfect location, and has a really relaxed feel about the street, lots of veggie friendly places to eat down here to. The food and drink here is really cheap and nice to so that's a bonus!

our new hostel is great!

Checking out the local markets, so much amazing fruit here!

yum!

This is Pomelo Fruit, its like a grapefruit but nicer and sweeter

This is Durian Fruit, its like marmite! you either love it or hate it. Im not quite sure about it yet ive only had one lot which was nice, this was perfect though quite sweet and creamy however some of the others Ive tried have been quite garlicky and fishy, gross!

One of the night markets, the sunsets here are beautiful 

The Elephant Nature Park

After researching a lot about elephant parks in Chiang Mai I found out that there are only a few legit sanctuaries here, a lot of companies will tell you that there is no elephant riding and that you just walk with the elephants however this is not the case. Many elephants are abused their whole life and forced to perform for tourists which is horrendous, I wont even go into it, its too upsetting so Id suggest if you want to know the truth then research it.

We found the Elephant Nature Park which rehabilitates rescued elephants, they are here to retire and live out their days in a safe environment like they should.

We started by getting picked up early morning and driven to the park which is just over an hour away out of the city into the countryside. During the journey they play you a short video about the truth behind Elephant riding but also show how they are rescued and looked after at the park. When we arrived I caught my first glimpse of them I was so excited, the Elephant is one of my favourite animals and this was one of the things I was looking forward to the most while travelling. They are truly amazing and beautiful. Of course id seen them at zoos in the past but to actually walk beside them and touch them was an amazing experience. We were greeted with tea/coffee and a snack before getting to work washing and preparing the Elephants food, hundreds of cucumbers! We had to wash and chop them in half. 

Once we were done we could walk over to them and feed them, I was shocked that we were so close, the younger Elephants came out from behind the fence and were trying to get the food. It was so lovely I felt my eyes tear up a bit as it was so beautiful. One of the younger ones was really cheeky and even sucked my face with its trunk! So weird like a hoover. 

After this we walked with them to another area where they were walking around freely besides us and eating still! Only a few of us were brave enough to get up close the rest of the group stayed a bit further away. To be honest though it was quite scary at one point they did make some noise which I can only describe as something from Jurassic Park, it really went through me and made my heart jump as they started getting a bit too excited and broke into a faster walking pace, I soon moved quick haha. So do keep your wits about you and remember that they are a wild animal and are unpredictable still. After this we stopped for a buffet lunch which was delicious and veggie friendly! We then made our way further out into the jungle surroundings to walk to the lakes to help bathe them. It was amazing walking beside them I even got into the water with them and scrubbed the mud off of them. 

They loved it and was so playful especially the two younger ones of the herd. After a few …. ok a lot of photos! we made our way back to the camp. We had another drink and some fruit and then said goodbye to the Elephants. It was probably one of the best days of my life and I’ve done quite a few cool things. I was sad to be leaving but id go back again and maybe stay there for a week as they do an Elephant care project there where you can volunteer to look after them, something that id definitely love, as well as the elephants there are also quite a few rescued dogs there so that was nice to play with them to. We made our way back to Chiang Mai around 3pm.

The cost of this including the transfer was 2500THB which is around £56, well worth it and you know that your money is going to a good cause, I think nearly all of it goes towards the care and feeding of the Elephants which is great. The Elephant Nature Park is working with other camps in Thailand to stop the cruel treatment of Elephants and to put a stop to Elephant riding which is amazing.

I went to my first Yoga class (ive since been again) and loved it. I've done Pilates before but never actual yoga so I was keen to try it. It was really good and I actually felt relaxed and at one with my self haha, so cliche but it's the first time I've actually have meditation work, I've tried before and I can never switch off. I'm definitely going to go back there.

Found a great juice bar to go to which is just down the road to Yoga, its called Fruit Pulse Healthy Juice Bar. They do the best smoothie bowls, I’ve tried everyone now, as well as wheat grass shots which are an acquired taste but good for you which I need. Next door to it is also a vegan restaurant called Karma Kitchen, I had the nicest chickpea burger and they also sell vegan ice cream! It was AMAZING! they also have two beautiful dogs and two cats who just sit about so its a really relaxed vibe there :)

Fruit Pulse 

Karma Kitchen

After that we had a ride round to explore the city, definite must is a scooter the last few days we have walked everywhere and as much as we like that it's pretty grueling and tiring doing that every day. Perfect way to get around. We stopped off at a random coffee house called cat brothers, only to find it's actually a cat cafe! They have a normal cafe downstairs but upstairs you can go and play with cats. It was awesome they were so friendly and playful, definitely a must to visit.

We stopped off at a temple and opposite it they had the Friday flea market on. Yay! I'm like a magpie anything tacky and shiny I'm on it. Decided it was a good excuse to spend my birthday money, ended up with a new dress, a silver bracelet, and an elephant necklace, two head bands, a face massager and a mango tiger balm :) happy with my bits. I have to be careful with what I buy now as I already don't have enough room and need to send more things home :( oh the joys of back packing. So the items I picked were pretty well thought out :)

Best Thai Green Curry, and it came in a coconut! awesome birthday dinner :) This was at a restaurant called Hot Chilli, a bit more pricier but it was for my birthday, we had a couple of cocktails to and starters (I had chips haha)

Passion fruit cocktail AMAZING!

The next day we wandered around again, more temples and markets. Later we went for a nice dinner at Chiang Mai tea house, one of the nicest Pad Thai’s I've had and they veganised it for me with tofu. We also had a big salad and spring rolls, two ginger beers and it came to just over 400thb pretty good ;) it's really cute to, pretty lights in a garden type area with lots of cool bars around. (Zoe in yellow is the “club” bar and also a cool rock bar with live music on the same corner. We ended up going back early though as Ben started to feel unwell. We got back and he was really sick, think its a stomach bug or food poisoning.

Had a chilled day Saturday as Ben was up all night being sick so I caught up with the blog as I hadn't had a chance to post about Bangkok yet so apologies if it all seems confusing. Was quite a nice day I had a coffee and taro pan bread from 7eleven and wrote up the blog and organised photos. The cats and dogs from next door sat with me which was nice.

Got him out of the room for a bit around 3pm and went to our usual cafe for a juice and some food, I tried a Thai breakfast which is like a soup with greens and tofu it was lovely but not something I'd want for breakfast. He still felt rough and couldn't even stomach a juice so we went back and I carried on with the blog.

Had dinner in the hotel restaurant (Baan Lansa Hotel, really good and cheap) as Ben was still sick. Later on he felt a bit better so we went out to get some pasta for him.

Thai Soup with Tofu, so good!

Sunday morning we went to JJ’s (JingJai) market. Really cool place with organic stalls, so many different types of fruit, I tried this one that tasted like bread pudding it's amazing and you can break it apart with your hands its called Sapodilla, so delicious. Had some fresh organic kombucha with Butterfly Pea it was so nice and good to have something healthy for the stomach.

Sapodilla!

Also tried this yummy vegan banana bread and had it with an organic mocha coffee. We picked up some more fruit and fresh orange juice to have for breakfast the next day then went for a ride around town on the scooter.

Ben's cousin has just got to Chiang Mai so we are hanging out with him this week to. We rode the scooters out to Huay Tung Tao Lake. So Beautiful there, we rode around the lake to which was lovely. There are little shacks that align the waters edge which is really cute you can get lunch and drinks here. If I was to go again though id take a picnic as that's what all of the locals were doing.

Being Gangsta on the scooters!

The past week we have just hung out really and visited a few places on the scooter. Two waterfalls which were awesome.

We went to the Mae sa waterfalls which were absolutely stunning. It took less than an hour to get there from Chiang Mai old town on our scooters.

It was nice to get out of the city into different surroundings, no pollution or hundreds of tourists. As you drive up towards it the jungle like scenery meets you. Beautiful trees and vegetation envelopes around you as you make your way up to each platform of the falls. We stopped at each one to either take photos or have a dip. I think there was 9 platforms in total the top one being the best, a lagoon of water shaded by tropical like trees we sat there for a bit, the boys got in under the water fall but it looked to cold for me I prefer to watch and laugh at them trying to climb up the slippery rocks haha. Afterwards we took a stroll back down we only spent the afternoon here but I want to go again before we leave and spend the whole day it's perfect for a picnic. I'd suggest taking your own food as it's not very vegetarian friendly there's a few stalls at the beginning with food, mainly various meats on sticks! They love to put food on sticks here lol, clothes and tourists bits and bobs. It really was beautiful and probably top of the list of things to do here in Chiang Mai. It only cost a 100thb entry and 20 for a scooter definitely worth it.

The other waterfalls we visited was the Bua Thong Falls, other wise referred to as the “sticky waterfalls” by locals.

On the way there look out for a giant gold three headed Buddha on the left hand side of the main road (about half way to the falls) it was in the middle of rice paddies and farm land, so you have to drive off the track a bit.

I actually preferred these falls as you could actually climb up and down them which was awesome, either free hand or by using the ropes put in place to help you up and down. These wasn't as big as Mae Sa but I think they were more interesting and fun if you like to be a bit more active, also the water here wasn't as cold so that was a bonus for me as I hate the cold. It was actually quite easy to climb even though it can look daunting as the water is rushing down underneath you, id be aware of where you step though as some parts are really slippery, one guy got down near to the bottom and slipped backwards and knocked his head. Had a great afternoon here its quite a bit further out than the other falls I think it took 2 hours to get there so if you do go by scooter take something quite warm as its gets really cold going along the main roads early evening. Also again take a picnic as there is only a little shop that sells snacks.

Ben getting a waterfall massage

This was a cool sight to see, the monks having a dip

Jungle flight – not for the faint hearted

I've wanted to do zip-lining for so long but never got round to going to Go Ape back in the UK. There are quite a few different zip-lining company's here the main ones being jungle flight and flight of the gibbon. After researching it a bit I decided on this one. It's relatively new, cheaper than flight of the gibbon plus it has a 1000m zip the longest in Thailand! and a "roller coaster"

We got picked up early morning and made the hour long journey out of the city. It's such a fun day and a perfect way to experience the jungle of Thailand the views are amazing especially when you are on the longest zip it's like something out of a film. The other best bit was the roller coaster, basically you hang vertically holding on to a metal bar and it zips you around! its awesome, quite aggressive on certain bends but so much fun. Word of warning if you are small you will probably get stuck like I did (weightier people will have no trouble and you will go alot faster), you have to pull yourself along a bit until you reach a bit more momentum to continue down to the bottom. Besides these two zips there are lots of other shorter ones which are good to but you definitely feel the adrenaline on the long zip, I think everyone around could hear my screams haha. We stopped just before the roller coaster at a platform where there are toilets and we were given water and a snack before we carried on. After a few hours we were driven back to the base for a buffet style lunch. Rice/veggies and watermelon which was pretty good. Tea/coffee is also Included. At the end we also got a jungle flight t shirt which was cool then made the journey back to Chiang Mai which takes around an hour.

Before the big Zip

Awesome view

We didn't bring the go pro selfie stick so had to improvise and construct one out of a bottle and some electric tape we had lol, the people who worked there were laughing and said “new technology!” haha. It worked quite well to be honest 

Action shot!

Really couldn't recommend this enough it seems quite alot of money but we got our tickets at a discount so it's cost 2200thb which is around 50 quid, this includes your pickup from your hotel and all the things I mentioned above so pretty could really when you consider that Go Ape in England costs around the same and you wouldn't get all the extras or the real rainforest experience.

Really enjoyed it and was knackered afterwards.

We went out for a night out, visited a few bars in Chiang Mai then onto Zoe in Yellow which is a bit like a club/bar. was pretty good night but I paid for it the next day.

The Boys! 

I really love Chiang Mai and actually could live there, its so beautiful and the people are friendly, the food is amazing and its cheap. We have been there around two weeks now, starting to feel alot better in my self from eating and drinking right and getting some sun. Also the yoga has helped even from only doing a few sessions, I've also had quite a few massages to which is nice. As a vegan/vegetarian it is perfect, at a first glance you may think there is nothing here veggie as everywhere you look on the markets especially there is alot of meat. But you can get fresh fruit almost everywhere and there are quite a few vegan friendly restaurants which I will list in the next post. To be honest though if you go somewhere you can usually get them to veganise your food, for instance I love Pad Thai so I just get it made without egg and have tofu instead which they are more than happy to do for you.

We are going to Pai this week for a few days its supposed to be really cool, its a smaller “hippy type” town around 3.5 hours North West of Chiang Mai.

See you soon

Jessica