#but id built up an intolerance i guess cause it stopped working At All i cld take like 3 times the amount i used to and nothing wld happen
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Visit Tumblr Blog
Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
Tumblr.com is the 103rd most visited website in the world.
Text
incomprehensible yap in the tags tldr im just not doing well i guess
#text#i miss my weed + benadryl + ibuprofen + occasionally valium days (1 year ago) thatwas so much more awesome#i used to use benadryl n valium to sleep but i ran out of the former n could barely sleep for days so i stole some from . costco .#of all places😭#but id built up an intolerance i guess cause it stopped working At All i cld take like 3 times the amount i used to and nothing wld happen#since then my sleep schedule has Kind Of fixed itself since im in school now n have to wake up before the ass crack of dawn#its just better tho not awesome#n lately its been worse again all of a sudden#ive been having nightmares n less sleep n ive been rlly out of it during the day#in a lot of pain also <3 i love not going to the doctor out of fear and self medicating with caffeine and ludicrous amnts of ibuprofen#i think i might have built up an intolerance to that too lately its barely helped#but i do mean Ludicrous i went thru one of those big bottles(500 tablets) in less than 2 months#im aware it's bad and not healthy for me but like theres nothing else i can Do#theres no cure or catchall treatment plan for cloves syndrome#and it gets worse over time and Brouther Its Been Worse#so yay i will be in horrible pain for the rest of my short little life <3 im just trying to make it as better as i can#ive said all this before probably but im upset again#ive been rly fucking suicidal lately n ive been meaning to tell one of my teachers or my counselor but i know for sure theyll tell my mom#and that wont help at all#i Dont want to kill myself i just dont want to be in pain im so so sick of the pain and no one seems to understand
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ain’t no stopping me now!
hi everyone
I hope you’re all alright! Things seem to be sorting themselves out!
I saw the nurse about my hydrocephalus shunt and it’s turned out that I've been eating something that has one of my intolerant foods in without knowing. in doing so this has dehydrated me and messed up the pressures around my brain. so, as ive worked out what is causing the problem, ive had to become extra vigilant about what I'm eating! this can be very boring and very annoying, but at least it means ill be ok!!! while I was there, I had my annual checkup and everything is great with my shunt, so I'm ok for another year! awesome!
this past week, I also did an extra shift at work to help cover someone. so all in all I did 31 hours this week, which is the most ive done in one week since 2009. I felt fantastic! I was really proud of myself! it was tiring and sometimes difficult but I did it and did a good job!
I also went to see my ankle dr today. I had my ct scan last month and today I got the results. turned out that there is quite a lot of wear and tear as well as built up scar tissue. he believes that I would benefit from surgery to help with the pain. he doesn't think I have much of an issue with my tendon as it hasn't tightened up significantly, which could also be a cause of stiffness. he says that it would take around 6 wks to recover from, but due to my line of work, he believes id require 3 mths off work. so he asked me what id like to do as he could do it soon or he could try and fit around me. I stated that due to my work and commitments, that it would be better for me and my family, if I had the surgery next july at the start of the six weeks holidays as it would give me plenty of time to recover before starting at college. the only downside is that it would mean that I would have to leave my job at the same time as it wouldn't be fair to be off sick for that long. but I guess it all depends on what my boss says when I tell him. if he can cope with me only working 2 days a wk post op, then it could still be a possibility. either way, we’ll be ok and will sort something out. but at least theres a chance they can fix me and try to ease the pain.
ive also been doing gratitude notes about how I'm doing. I usually do notes about crap events too and notes of good memories. however yesterday, I wrote plenty of gratitude notes and no crap ones. I'm starting to feel proud of all the good things in my life as well as all the good things I'm proving to myself that I am learning I am capable of learning. you see, yesterday, I fitted a carpet in my downstairs toilet. I painted it. nick painted the ceiling for me coz I couldn't do it without passing out. he put me pictures up and I laid the carpet yesterday. bearing in mind, ive never laid a carpet before in my life, I actually did it and didn't do too bad a job! I asked nick what he thought and he said its great! and he said he couldn't do it! I said ill take that compliment! lol! felt really chuffed with myself for being able to do something that id never thought possible before!
not much of the year left, so theres still chance of making even more further improvements with myself! I want to be the best version of myself for me and my family! bring it on! xxx
0 notes