#it just feels intentional from the writers
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ilikeyoshi · 9 hours ago
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"#yes yes yes!!!! #and ngl it makes me want to read or engage with it more too!"
i hope it's ok to point out these tags bc this is SUCH a huge mood i think deserves a little more explanation!!!! (at least from my perspective as both a creator (writer) and fan (of artists))
i used to have a ton of anxiety when creating and especially sharing my works, and my impulse was always to talk down on it, because a) i* (*my anxiety) believed it to be bad, and b) because i had this idea in my head that if i lowered people's expectations, they wouldn't be as disappointed when reading it.
i want to tell you what i've learned in my years of both being a writer and being a fan of artists, and it's that this is a terrible, terrible anxiety fallacy (like so many ideas/misconceptions borne of anxiety are) that ONLY hurts you, your work, and your potential readers(/fans/etc). it SOUNDS like a good idea when you have really bad anxiety, i know, i used to DEPEND upon this idea just to have the courage to SHARE my writing—and i want to emphasize that it's OKAY if you've done this before, it's an easy, easy trap to fall into, but i also want you to try and stop doing it because there are a lot of reasons you would feel better and do better for doing so.
you are what you practice! if you only ever focus on or speak about the flaws in your art, you WILL feel negatively about your art. my very first therapist explained it in a way that still really resonates with me: you have created a well-beaten, highly trafficked "road" in your brain. it is very easy to take this road because even though it's longer to your destination, it winds and bends, it's walked on so much it's flat and easy to traverse. when you try to build a NEW path—in this case, a path where you focus on what you like about your art—you're starting with no path at all. it's all undergrowth and vines and thorns and it hurts and it's tiring and you feel like this will NEVER be easier or feel better than the old path. but you have to keep taking the new one. you have to beat down the undergrowth until it recedes, cut down the low-hanging branches until you can walk with your back straight, and if you keep at it, if you keep at this thing that feels so pointless and stupid and hard, eventually, the path will be clear, and easy to walk, and you'll make great time getting to your destination because it cuts straight through; no winding or bending. and the old path? it will overgrow, and it will become hard and stupid to take. you have to beat the new path because once it's beaten, it'll be the far superior path in every way, including ways the old path was never superior even when it WAS the one you were always taking.
further—as these tags point out, and as i agree with wholeheartedly—by disparaging your art, you DO lower people's expectations. people don't want to be sad, frustrated, disappointed when they look at art—at least, not unless the art itself is trying to tell a story about that. you get what i mean, i hope—they don't want to go INTO something they already HAVE negative reviews on—your reviews! you, the creator, have already told this person the story/art/whatever is going to be bad, and i know, i KNOW it's not your intention, you're hoping someone will see through what you can't and tell you no, no, this is good, i liked this! and some people do! but you make it a lot harder for them TO do that when you tell them right at the beginning, "this is going to be bad, i don't like it," because what you're unintentionally telling them is, "and you probably won't like it either." the first way i learned this was in people always saying in their fanfic summaries, before you even open the fic, "the summary is bad, i'm bad at writing summaries, the story is better trust me bro." because what this does—again, so unintentionally, i KNOW what you're trying to do because i've been you—is you're telling the reader, "here's my pitch, here's the hook to my entire story, it's the worst part, it's bad, but the rest will be better," and what they KNOW is they've already put the time in reading the summary, and it's hard to commit MORE time to something when you've already told them it's bad, even if you promise the rest is better. it's like biting into a fruit and you hate the taste of the skin; it's harder to try the rest of the fruit when, so far, it's been bad (or you've been made to believe it's bad).
so what's the solution? how do you begin beating that new path? well, it depends on you. everyone's a little different in how they navigate stuff like this. but what worked for me, and what might be a good place to start (and by all means adapt as you figure out what works and what doesn't), is start by just NOT saying anything negative. no, "i don't like this," or "the summary's bad, sorry," or anything. write your artist's comment, author's note, whatever as normal, and REMOVE anything that depicts your art/writing/etc in a bad light. just don't give people any opinion whatsoever on what experiencing your creation is going to be like. this, for me, was easier than jumping straight to, "i'm pretty proud of this," or "i enjoyed working on this," because it wasn't withholding AND replacing, it was JUST withholding. going back to the roads and paths metaphor, i think of this part as the "taking a breather before i get to work on this monumental task of beating this new path" stage.
then, overtime, i started "stretching" my positive comments about my works. if i liked, say, TWO LINES out of a whole piece of writing, i'd say, "i'm really proud of this work!" because i AM proud of ANYTHING AT ALL, NO MATTER HOW SMALL, within the work. it's not a LIE, to anyone including yourself, but it is, perhaps, an EXAGGERATION. that's OKAY. we're trying to teach our brain to look on the bright side, to take the new path, and i've found that treating it a little bit like a dog—giving it a treat for ANY TINY BIT OF PROGRESS, was a good way to encourage myself to start making MORE progress. ESPECIALLY because the tags i reposted above are RIGHT: LOTS of people are MORE interested in a work when their very first impression (YOUR impression!!!) is positive. 'the artist/writer/etc is proud of this? oh, i'm so glad they had a good time creating, let's take a look!" it probably sounds too easy if you're still taking that anxiety-beaten road, i know, but try to think of how you've felt when someone disparages their creations versus uplifts them. were you put off by the negativity? were you sad that your friend worked so hard on something and didn't even like it? conversely, doesn't it make you a little excited when an artist says they really feel good about something they made, especially in a world where so many artists ARE feeling inadequate? i hope you see what i mean.
it's not an overnight thing, of course, this took me YEARS. this took a miracle that doesn't happen to most people: i wrote something i felt SO TERRIFIED people wouldn't like, even though i was secretly very proud of it (but too scared to dare suggest i was proud of it), so i indicated all kinds of things like "i hope you like it, i dunno if it's any good, it's just a little thing i'm chipping away at in my spare time" (it was not, it was a full-blown passion project) and, against the odds, a LOT OF PEOPLE told me they really really really liked it. a couple of friends who were decently popular in the fandom it was for liked and shared it and i got A LOT of encouragement. i basically got to beat my new path with a HORDE of helpers, and it was more like THEY beat the path for me and i chased along like, "what is happening, oh my god, what are you doing???"
i got really lucky. that doesn't always, or even usually happen. in most other areas of my life, i've had to beat the path myself. and it takes a long time if you're doing it on your own. but you should anyway, because it's so fucking worth it dude. yeah, it was awesome to get so much help with my writing confidence specifically, but it's been just as worth it every time i've had to do it alone too. and i have good news! there ARE ways to tell people you're on this journey of making yourself a new path. here are some suggestions:
"i'm new/rusty at this, so please let me know what you think!" - informs potential readers/viewers/etc you are learning and gives them an opportunity to HELP you learn. this is a positive interaction! this allows people to find a GOOD experience EVEN if they didn't enjoy the story much, because they can help, and people DO, MOSTLY, like to help.
"i want to improve at [dialogue]" or "i'd appreciate advice on [lighting]." - similar to the first example, but does 2 things: gives viewers specific instructions that can be really helpful for those that aren't sure how/what to critique (surprisingly common thing; the more specific you are about what you want advice on, the more likely you are to GET advice), AND allows you to, neutrally and non-disparagingly, ask for help in areas you don't feel confident about.
"leave a comment if you liked it!" or "let me know what you liked best!" - listen. i don't think 'fishing for compliments' is bad as long as you're not being manipulative about it. these examples are very clear in what they're asking for, which is compliments, positive reviews, etc. and that's okay!!! first of all, lots of people LOVE praising works they like, i promise, and asking them to DOES make them feel like they have "permission" to (i know that sounds silly but i also know if you have anxiety about creating, you have anxiety about commenting, i see you, i was you). secondly, i have gotten the MOST encouraging, confidence-boosting comments this way, especially with the latter example. there is NOTHING more immediately anxiety-curing than a comment that says "i liked [scene/dialogue/character/etc] specifically." it's AMAZING. (also, if you're looking for advice on commenting, this is a GREAT thing to do. imo, this and "speculating/interpreting the work" are the two coolest comments i get they make me feel AWESOME.)
remind yourself, as many times as you have to, CONSTANTLY if you have to: likes/kudos mean someone enjoyed your work enough to press a button. views mean someone liked your work enough to click through for more. these are POSITIVE interactions, they are not "less positive" than comments or reblogs/reshares. i know those last two things are more obviously gratifying, and depending on if you NEED your work to spread (for exposure/commision prospects/etc), very good, awesome ways to support you, and i don't mean to say you shouldn't WANT comments and reblogs/reshares. but for me, it's helped me a lot to recognize that any bit of effort whatsoever means someone LIKED my work. it's also helped me to think of all the times i've shared a link to an artwork in a discord or something, and know that there is an entire, untangible metric i can't and will never see that, sure, i can choose to believe doesn't exist or isn't very high, but i can ALSO choose to believe it happens quite a lot, and the latter makes me FEEL better about my work and makes me want to create MORE, so i think that's the more productive mindset personally. it doesn't matter what the truth is, you know? we'll never know it and it doesn't harm us to never know it. but it DOES harm us to assume no one quietly, unseen by us, likes our work, and it DOES ENCOURAGE US to assume lots of people do.
here's the thing: anxiety disorders fuck you up by making you believe extremely negative, scary, depressing things. the disorder gets worse the more you allow it to make you believe these things, and the only way out, as stupid and hard and at times impossible as it feels, is to say, "no, i don't like that interpretation, i'm going to replace it with a positive one." anxiety is making paths all throughout your brain, and you have to just, make paths too. anxiety needs YOU to make paths, but YOU don't need anxiety to make paths. your paths WILL be better, safer, easier and happier. you just—and i know that is the biggest "just" ever—have to make them.
but i believe in you. i don't need to know you or your circumstances to believe in you. i believe in the sheer amount of control you have over how you face the world. and it's so much more than anxiety would lead you to believe.
i looooove seeing artists & writers proud of their work!!!!! i looooove captions & authors notes that say things like “i’m quite happy with this” “i love how this turned out” “i had so much fun making this”!!!!!! i loooooove when the act of creation is joyful & we take pride in what we make!!!!!!!!!!
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amethystfairy1 · 2 days ago
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Regarding the Iskall Situation...
I've received a lot of asks wondering about what my take is on it, and since I'd prefer to have it all taken care of in one swoop so we don't have to continue to focus on it, here's my stance on the subject.
A: Yes, I have seen the credible evidence from Kasszki, I read the doc they posted, and I feel awful for them and the other victims that they had to deal with this. I'm glad to hear that the Hermits and others were supportive of them and helped them handle this situation in as professional a manner as possible. I have also seen the credible information from False that Stress left for her own separate reasons.
B: I strongly denounce Iskall's behavior, and I have absolutely zero intention of supporting him as a creator ever again.
C: Please don't pester the creators or the victims. I said it in my initial response to this situation before we knew what had happened, but my opinion remains the same here. Any information we get from the Hermits is a privilege, not a right. Hermitcraft and it's associated fandoms are well known for being healthy, good spaces, and I'm proud to be a member of this community. Now our money is where our mouths are. Please don't feed into the rumor mill, please continue to support the Hermits as you always would and don't pry or demand more details from them. This is a very difficult situation for all of us, and I'm certain it's even worse for all of them. Please keep in mind the Hermits are all grown adults, many of them had professional careers before they joined Hermitcraft, and they are handling this in as professional a manner as they are able. I applaud them for that. As their fans, we need to do the same.
What are my plans for Iskall and Stress in TTSBC?
Understandably, I've received several asks about what I plan to do about Iskall and Stress's characters in TTSBC. I've answered them individually, but I just want to put this here as a one-stop spot for what my stance is so it's clear.
I've always been a 'character not content creator' author. My characters are just that, characters. Does that mean I can completely remove them from the creators upon which they are based? No, of course not. That's not how this works, either. So here's my plan moving forward.
The two stories that heavily feature Iskall in TTSBC, "Run with It' and "Carry me Home Tonight" will remain up. They are timestamped with their dates of posting which was long before any of this came out, and again, they are very clearly meant to be characters, not the creators.
Iskall will be removed from the TTSBC: Wiki, and I will not be writing any new content for his character.
Does that affect the plot of TTSBC? Yes, it does. I'm not going to pretend it doesn't, and those of you who have followed the series at length can likely see where the issues arise...but I'm an author, and I can pivot. I also have an awesome little team behind me of @silver-sunray, @boo-the-ahh, and @khoirkid who are helping me to make sure TTSBC carries on smoothly despite this unforeseen struggle.
Stress will not be removed from the TTSBC: Wiki. As I mentioned in an ask earlier, her role in the story is very minor, and I hadn't planned for her to have any other pieces to herself outside of Hermit-a-Day May anyway...so aside from specific instances where it might be necessary to mention her, she will not be making any more major appearances. This is mainly because I'm a Hermit/Traffic/Empires writer, and I plan to stick to that notion unless future events cause me to pivot otherwise.
Lastly, I would appreciate if we could avoid anymore asks about the situation. If there are any further updates I'm sure I'll find that out on my own, I'm very active in this fandom and I see things pretty quickly when they spread, so if any new things related to this situation spring up, while I greatly appreciate your concern for me and my work, please don't send it to my inbox or in DM.
I'm very saddened by this, as I'm sure many of you are. Hermitcraft and it's associated fandoms have been my safe space for many years, through some of the hardest moments of my life, and with the mess that MCYT has proven itself to be at times, it felt like we were untouchable here. But like Doc said, the Hermits are good, and they are strong. And as their fans and supporters, we need to be the same.
Be good, be strong, and let's make sure our lovely community continues to be the positive space it always has been.
-Amethyst
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aihoshiino · 3 days ago
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is Ai really autistic or is it just popular headcanon/fanon?
She is!
To be totally transparent, Akasaka has never said autism specifically (自閉スペクトラム症 jihei spectrum shou) to my knowledge, but Ai is canonically neurodivergent and is referred to at least twice across the series that I remember as having specifically a developmental disability (発達障害 hattatsu shougai) which are umbrella terms in both English and Japanese that specifically refer to a very specific category of neurodivergence that autism falls into.
Additionally, in Ai's chapter of Spica, she behaves... I don't want to say stereotypically because I think Spica's POV outwards depiction of a non-masking autistic person navigating the world is one of the few things it does right, but the particular social issues twelve year old Ai has and the ways they cause her to clash with B-Komachi do very much read to me as a writer who is intentionally trying to portray an autistic person w/o directly using the word 'autism'. Especially given that the resolution at the end of Ai's chapter is that she starts learning how to mask - literally, explicitly in those words.
Akane also singles out a lot of things to do with Ai's behaviour and physicality that also feel like big, obvious signposting for 'this character is intentionally being written as autistic' to me:
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Singling out just from this image, Akane notes that Ai has very sharp (an alternate translation is sensitive) hearing and sense of smell, has some fine motor issues (holds her chopsticks irregularly), among other things.
It's also not in this image, but something you can quickly pick up from looking at Ai's fashion choices when she's dressing for herself is that she very consistently gravitates towards baggy and loose fitting clothes, which could imply she has some sensory issues when it comes to tight fits.
This is also more anecdotal so feel free to take it with a grain of salt, but in Japanese fan spaces, I've seen plenty of people say re: Ai that "oh yeah, this is really obviously a character you're supposed to read as being autistic/having ADHD", so that implies to me the coding here is very recognizable and thus intentional. Like - again, Akasaka went out of his way to have two characters at LEAST refer to her as this very specific umbrella term so there was obviously authorial intent here.
The specific focus on Ai's confusion regarding communication and organic empathy is what lands me on the side of 'autistic', but either way, I don't think it's really in question that it's a canonical part of her characterization.
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isaidyoulookshitty · 10 hours ago
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idk it is so upsetting to me that veilguard is the first dragon age game i won't be replaying. when i was 15 i played origins so many times (almost a dozen) it is one of the only games i have ever 100% finished. da2 was the same! and while i didn't make it through as many playthroughs of inquisition i put hundreds of hours into it and made an effort to get to the bottom of everything the game threw at me. until veilguard, i had bought every available dragon age dlc for all games, tried to play almost every route given in the story choices, and spent hours reading through codex entries to soak up as much lore as i could.
veilguard has rendered all of that completely null.
it feels almost spiteful at this point that this new frakenspliced bioware cared so little to honor the bones and meat of the first three games. 15 years i have spent loving and cherishing (and criticizing) this franchise and now i feel like a fucking idiot for it. my grey warden? canonically awol and never addressed again. hawke? irrelevant and, for some players, potentially stuck in the fade forever. inquisitor? stripped of any complexity or depth i had given her in favor of the most syrupy, out of character fairytale true love's kiss ending with a man that shattered her worldview and broke her heart. how do you take 10 years to craft an ending this dissatisfying and thoughtless?
and the world i spent a decade and a half fighting for, shaping with player choices, and calling home? gone. "overwhelmed by the blight." literally scorched earth for the next game to build on with whatever the writers pull out of their ass to make players forget all about the original dragon age. it's tragic! disrespectful to longtime fans at best, at worst it feels intentional and like i am being made the butt of a joke told by writers who in the promotional material sound like they could not even be assed to play the games they're attempting to draw from. veilguard is just a product to be sold, not a story worthy of The Dragon Age Setting.
and i haven't even touched on all my gripes with the game's writing, the sanitization of any canon conflict that could be uncomfortable or difficult to address, the stale and cutesy therapyspeak and lessons in basic morality that are baked into every in-game interaction (most of which are shallow and all the same anyways) compared to the dialogue trees from the other 3 games. it is so frustrating to see that the devs chose to cave to a decade of vitriolic fandom politics in favor of addressing the kettle they wrote themselves into.
instead of hand-waving racism toward elves, the panic over qunari, the isolation of the dwarves, the corruption of the chantry, the abuse in the circles of magi, and slavery in tevinter, we should have been given the chance to confront all of it. to put a real end to it. we will never get to do that now. in fact, in their failure to follow through, bioware has only succeeded in exacerbating all of these issues. they have made the elves, which they have openly ADMITTED were "inspired" by Jewish and indigenous peoples, their mouthpiece for white guilt and shame passed down from one's ancestors (while also gutting elves' religion, culture, history, social differences, etc. i could go on). they PERPETUATE the same stereotypes of barbarity, violence, and warmongering imposed on the qunari by the rest of thedas by continuing to make them an opposing enemy force with the exception being a couple of friends they have neatly packaged for us. the unsatisfying conclusion to the mage-templar schism in inquisition is inconsequential. who the player chose to HEAD THE SOUTHERN CHANTRY as divine is deliberately made irrelevant. the dwarves are still isolated and ignorant of their origins save for harding (assuming she doesn't end up killed) and a single closed-off group. and the slaves in tevinter (again, mostly elves)? conveniently kept out of sight and conversation when we finally get to minrathous. everything that happened to fenris to make him the character he is, arguably the most impactful and sympathetic out of all the da2 companions, is not even addressed, much less tackled. all of it is swept under the rug.
i could go on about how i, a queer and nonbinary adult fan, thought their handling of gender and LGBTQIA+ identities was heavy-handed, infantilizing, and felt so out of place within the setting it makes easy fodder for the "woke=broke" crowd that wouldn't have been receptive to queer rep anyway, but that would need to be another post in itself. not to mention the romance! unfortunate that i chose to romance lucanis not knowing his is now notorious for a lack of content, meaningful dialogue, pacing, and actual development. i won't even get to see the other romances in comparison because, as i have said, i will not be replaying.
i wanted dragon age: dreadwolf. i wanted a solid conclusion to a story almost 20 years in the making. a dragon age reboot might even have been a great idea somewhere down the line, but this was not the game to do it with. it was supposed to be a sequel and they couldn't even get that right. did i enjoy parts of it? of course! i finished it! but i won't be doing it again. the game clearly intends you to, considering a significant portion is locked away by decisions players are forced to make pretty early on, but i can't make myself do it. it makes me way too sad.
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nuria-schnee · 3 days ago
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Hi everyone! ❤️ It's been a week™ after those spoilers. I'm going to ramble a bit about that under the cut in relation to this chapter. It'll be mostly writer problems, but well. Anyway, for now, in this sneak peek, Edwin and Thomas meet again unexpectedly.
Edwin made his way through the crowd, vibrating with the receding sensation of Charles’ hands on his face, his forehead against his. The music sounded muffled to his ears, and the creatures crowding every space of the place made him feel trapped, increasing his need to escape. In the end, Edwin found his way to the terrace, which was miraculously empty, aside from a few creatures lounging on the sofas over a secluded corner. The music was softer there, and Edwin couldn’t really feel the chill air of the night, but he breathed out as if he could, relaxing somewhat. He approached the railing made of glass panes, his eyes catching briefly on the red and pink orbs spelt to hover all over the terrace, creating a strangely comforting atmosphere. Edwin noticed someone else reclined on the railing, far away from the door to the terrace and the sofas. It shouldn’t have been possible, but Edwin immediately recognized that blond hair slicked back, the line of his shoulders. Approaching slowly, something churning in his stomach, Edwin felt curiously comforted to see him. “Thomas?” Edwin muttered. Thomas turned around immediately, eyes widening slightly, but quickly shifted into a smile. “Oh, this is a surprise,” Thomas purred, fully turning towards him. “What are you doing here, darling? On a case, I’m sure.” Edwin sighed, closing the last bit of distance and standing beside him, holding onto the railing. Thomas's smile only widened. “Actually, I am not here for work,” Edwin explained, averting his eyes and fixing them on the street below. “We have come the four of us for— A leisure night.” “Well, you don’t look much entertained,” Thomas drawled, and Edwin could feel his eyes tracing his profile, making a soft tingling crawl under his skin. “I just needed a bit of calm,” his words sounded weak to even himself, the truth trapped right there, under his tongue. “I thought you would be in Port Townsend already.” “Said I would drop by to say goodbye, didn’t I?” Thomas said, and Edwin turned his head, regretting it immediately and finding how close they were standing suddenly. The intensity of their gazes became almost unbearable. Warmth bloomed underneath his skin, and the brief space felt like electricity.
“Why are you here?” Edwin forced his gaze away, that feeling of breathlessness coming back to him unexpectedly. “Well, I heard about the place and had to check if it was any good,” Thomas shrugged softly, looking away, too. “Been to better clubs, but it’s distracting enough.” “That is what you were searching for? A distraction?” Edwin turned to him intentively, frowning slightly. Thomas faced him, peeking at him with enclosed interest. “Just trying to get my mind off some things. And here you are, anyway.” Edwin almost rolled his eyes, but even so, something had to show up in his face anyway since it made Thomas chuckle softly. Silence stretched between them for a few seconds. Edwin took the chance to breathe and attempt to ease his thoughts. Not succeeding much, if he were to be honest. “You have that look in your eyes again,” Thomas eventually broke the silence, his voice soft, calm. “What look?” “Like you’re drowning.” Something cracked in his chest. His heart, probably. It came back with renewed force, the sensation of his spiralling thoughts back on the dance floor as Charles smiled at him brightly, pulled him so close, touching him so tenderly— How close it was, and how far at the same time, to what he desired. The certainty that it’d never go further than that had slapped him harder than ever before. “Trouble in paradise, maybe?” Thomas asked. “No,” Edwin sighed, resisting the need to look away. “I suspect— You were right. I am making things harder for myself, for the most part.” “Well, your bodyguard is not precisely making it easier,” Thomas scoffed. Edwin frowned at him, parting his lips as to retort. However, he couldn’t. What was going on wasn’t really Thomas’ business; even so, Edwin couldn’t deny it either, not entirely. Instead, he tried to steer the conversation away from that topic. “The masquerade was almost three weeks ago. What could possibly keep you so long here?” Edwin asked, though already knowing the answer deep down. “Ouch. So eager to get rid of me,” Thomas said dramatically, but without a bite. “I did not mean it that way.” Thomas only kept looking at him, his smile turning softer and weaker in a way that made Edwin feel warm all over. His eyes dropped to his mouth not very subtly, but he forced himself to lock his gaze with Edwin’s sparkling golden under the colourful lights. In turn, Edwin found himself down just the same. “That,” Thomas whispered, the huskiness in his voice making Edwin shiver. “Exactly, that is keeping me here.” “What do you mean?” Edwin's voice came out choked, his mind whirling. The lingering despair of that dance was still there, crashing with the strange relief of Thomas’ eyes on his. “Hope,” Thomas answered simply. “I might get a miracle, after all.”
LINKS
Index | Read Chapter 1 | Trailer | Teaser |
Okay, here goes a bit of rambling.
I have to admit, right now, I am feeling a bit anxious about this chapter. I mostly keep away from any discourse because I just want to chill, enjoy being in the fandom, and share my writing/scream about other people's art. However, it's been a coincidence I'm writing this chapter the week those spoilers have been going around. I'm trying not to worry too much about the discourse going on, but I can't help it, in a way. This fic is very important to me, and I'm putting a lot of hours into it. I can't help but worry if I'm doing it right or not, sometimes. And I'm fine with it not being to everyone's liking; that's completely natural.
I'm mostly concerned about not having explained/hinted some things right. I've had this chapter plotted since September when I started writing this story. If you have been reading it, you know how the interactions between Edwin and Thomas have been portrayed. And I was already hesitating if this made any sense at all or not, but I tried to write it as best as I could since I decided to take a certain route for this fic (that's all I can say without spoiling the chapter). I know I might be overthinking this too much, and, in the end, I'm having a lot of fun writing/sharing this; also, there are a lot of us working on our versions of Season 2, and I think it's amazing and enriching for the fandom to have different versions to enjoy. So I can only expect all of you who are reading it to keep enjoying the story.
I was very unsure about even talking about this, but I also believe that it's okay to express the ways in which you struggle sometimes. We all here are persons behind these screens, and I think sometimes we forget that. Anyway, I don't want this to get excessively long, so I hope you are taking care of yourselves. Thank you all over again for your support, comments, and reblogs.❤️ It's giving me life, I swear.
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ravenkinnie · 1 day ago
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i hate how ep7 got ppl talking ab the 'jinx vs powder' discourse like they are 2 different people all over again or saying au powder is the superior version bcs she's not crazy like jinx (when truth is powder herself is deranged our girl is wired differently from very early on)
"i thought you could love me like you used to even though i'm different" and s2 pretty much confirms her insecurities not just in terms of how vi feels ab her but also the show itself the writers and even the fandom
with all that said ppl dont get to shit on the bond between silco & jinx anymore he's NOT a good dad but at least when he says he sees jinx as perfect just the way she is he 100% means it (it took him dying first but yk)
ITS SO STUPID BITCH ITS THE SAME PERSON she's not fucking jekyll and hyde!! the whole au world is illogical at its core but its not hard to see that the intention for jinx was that this is who she could be if it wasnt for that extreme trauma because her mental illness was correlated to her trauma and that's fine. but like I could not explain to you why killing vi in an explosion was less of a trauma given that it's the same trauma but this is where I stop thinking about it because jayce inventing hextech caused poverty and without hex tech we would all be rich
s2 proves they are in fact unbeatable and nothing could ever beat them
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creamflix · 1 day ago
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Hello! Can I request a Kafka + mistletoe (nice)?
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you missed her so much it hurt. 
KAFKA’s absence always left a hollow ache in your chest, a gnawing emptiness that no holovid call or fleeting message could fill. she was a stellaron hunter, a woman with a galaxy-wide reputation and responsibilities that pulled her across star systems. 
but to you, she was simply kafka: the person whose voice, touch, and presence felt like home.
and now, as if the universe itself had conspired in your favor, she was here. 
home. with you.
you’d been pacing her quarters, anxiously awaiting her arrival. your gaze flickered to the mistletoe you’d hung at the entrance — a silly little touch, but one that made you smile. would she notice?
the sound of the door sliding open snapped you out of your thoughts. and there she was, stepping through the threshold like a vision, her gaze immediately locking onto yours. her usual smirk tugged at her lips, but there was something softer in her eyes, something that made your heart clench.
“miss me?” she teased, her voice honeyed and smooth, as she dropped her bag and strode toward you.
“beyond words,” you managed, your voice thick with emotion.
her eyes flicked upward, catching sight of the mistletoe. her smirk widened into something more mischievous. 
“ah, so this was intentional,” she mused, tilting her head as she stopped just inches away from you.
“maybe,” you replied, already feeling your cheeks heat.
“then it would be rude of me to ignore tradition, wouldn’t it?” she murmured, her voice dropping an octave as her hands found your waist, pulling you flush against her.
her lips met yours, soft but insistent, her kiss carrying the weight of every moment you’d been apart. her fingers trailed up your back, tilting your chin to deepen the kiss, and you melted into her like you were made to fit.
when she finally pulled back, her forehead rested against yours, her breath mingling with yours in the quiet of the moment.
“you’re warm,” she whispered, her thumb brushing across your cheek. “like everything i’ve missed while i was away.”
“you’re here now,” you replied, your voice trembling but steady. “that’s all that matters.”
she smiled then, a genuine, rare thing that made her look impossibly beautiful. “merry christmas, darling.”
“merry christmas, kafka,” you whispered, leaning in to kiss her again, grateful beyond words that the stars had finally aligned to bring her back to you.
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kathbunny · 2 days ago
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Okay!! So!! Blah posted art of library monster Maxim so I am going to do a little bit writing for the au here on Tumblr bc why not!!
Context that you barely need due to the fact it won't be mentioned or be important:
• it is an isekai au! Pretty classic isekai stuff! VR-LA was a guy in a normal modern world, he liked a video game, something happened and he ended up in the game's world! Simple stuff, he runs off from home, starts the adventure from the game, cheeses some stuff with his knowledge. He's having a great time mostly.
• Maxim was a npc and optional boss fight! He was in the library, enforced its rules, etc. he just there, he has mechanical bugs as library assistants. He was well loved by the fandom, by his designer, by his two voice actors, by the writers, etc. he did willingly make himself this, but some of the negative effects weren't intentional, and he did not do it for mentally healthy reasons.
• the old crew are explorers and MR-SN dies at a certain time in the game unless you do a bunch of a side quests and explore a lot of places first. It was a meme bc most people don't do that or even talk to them enough to care, so learning about it every playthrough became just funny. VR-LA joins them after saving the world!
Anyway none of that matters bc this is just going to be about VR-LA and Maxim in the library. Writing time
CW repeated mention of blood and injury
VR-LA had a very specific routine each time he returned to the library. He cleaned off his boots outside, ensuring he brought in as little mud as possible from dragging himself through the desolate wilds around it. He stepped inside and removed his outer coat in the entryway, folding it and placing it into his bag, attempting to look presentable. He made sure any of his louder items were tucked away so any clanking, clicking, ticking, or chiming was kept to a minimum. Each step so he wouldn't break any of the rules of the library.
Today though, he couldn't. Snow was piling up outside the door, his sides aching from wounds that potions made harmless, his outer coat stuck to his vest from dried blood, his legs feeling like they may give out from lack of break and hours of movement. He stumbled to the first door, pressing his hand against the knocker which sat at the center, made to be in the shape of the same sort of monster as the library's protector. After a second, the ring within the mouth of the decoration knocked against the door on its own, and VR-LA heard a subtle click. Hopefully Maxim wouldn't mind VR-LA resting in only the entryway before he straightened up, VR-LA wasn't sure if he could handle that fight in this state.
VR-LA pulled the door open, immediately feeling a rush of warm air from within. He hurried into the entryway, pulling the door shut behind him. He sat on the floor, pulling his backpack off his shoulder. The game always made travelling like that seem so easy.
There was buzzing from above him, most likely one of the assistants coming to examine the guest. VR-LA rather hoped Maxim would be too busy to greet him immediately, even if that was unlikely. He leaned his head back against the wall, squinting up at the large mechanical bee. It turned away, going through a hexagon passageway built too high up the wall for a human to ever go through and deeper into the library.
VR-LA took a deep breath, his eyes feeling heavy from exhaustion. If he stayed leaning back like this, he probably wouldn't be able to stay awake. He pushed himself to sit up straighter, focusing on his coat and vest first. He wouldn't be able to remove them separately in their current state, so his vest would have to be unbuttoned first. He was lucky the blood wasn't his own or the shirt would have had to go too.
There was a loud slam of the door at the other end of the entryway, startling VR-LA right as his cold hands managed to get through the first button. And he was quickly up in the air, teeth holding onto the back of his coat. "VR-LA." Maxim growled. Today's the day. Today's the day Maxim throws VR-LA out forever. Maxim was carrying him into the library as he spoke in a rather muffled manner. "I have potions within my nest. Once your injuries are dealt with, we will discuss the cause-"
Oh! "I had a potion for them an hour ago, this blood isn't mine." VR-LA replied awkwardly.
"So you had been injured?"
"Yes?"
"Then it is a requirement you rest." Maxim dropped VR-LA onto a random couch, one far too tiny for the monster to put himself on, given he was almost as large as the elephants of VR-LA's original world. His sat on the ground in front of VR-LA, using his front paws to adjust VR-LA surprisingly nimbly, like he was more of a doll than a person, before VR-LA himself even got the chance to. Large claws were unbuttoning his vest more nimbly than his own could've, Maxim squinting to get the good look he needed. "How long were you in the cold while dressed like this?" Maxim asked, the beans of his paws briefly brushing against VR-LA's side as he tried to check under the vest to confirm VR-LA's words.
"Most of today?"
"It is nearly night and that is not nearly enough for the snow. The fabric is too thin." And with that, Maxim draped a wing over VR-LA. Soft feathers brushed against his face and sides, the rich coppers and browns of them glittering slightly in the light. "It will do your journey no good to die of cold."
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castiels-undercoat · 6 months ago
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Supernatural really came into it's own when they totally gave up on Deans whole "one night stand with random women" thing and just started writing Cas and Dean as a couple.
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lale-txt · 9 days ago
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heartbreaking! one of your favorite artists makes fun of y/n fics!
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funhouse-mirror-barbie · 6 months ago
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I’ll be writing a critique of the way Blitzø and Stolas’ relationship was handled more at length, but I wanted to stop and take a moment to look at this scene from the new episode, “Full Moon”:
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This is the sort of power and control that Stolas has always had over Blitzø.
It does not matter that Stolas has never threatened to take away the Grimoire before, or that they were “friends” as kids, or that he offered Blitzø a few months off, or that he’s been nice to Blitzø in the past, or that Blitzø actually does have feelings for Stolas.
When you are in a situation where you cannot say no at the risk of losing your livelihood, you cannot give true consent.
This is the very BASIS of their relationship. It has always been the basis of their relationship—a quid pro quo relationship where Stolas holds all of the power.
I have seen countless people go over and explain in great detail why the full moon deal was not truly coercive, or a quid pro quo situation, or how it was completely consensual.
And it’s just not. It is sexual coercion where Blitzø cannot give meaningful consent. Because if he refuses Stolas, he’s at risk of losing everything.
I want to clarify that my criticism here isn’t with this writing decision. I’m not trying to say anything along those the lines of “because this fictional character did a bad thing the story is bad and people who like the character support sexual coercion!!” That’s not what I’m saying at all.
I am bringing all of this up because my criticism is not of this writing decision, but because of the framing of the Full Moon deal and of Stolas and Blitzø’s relationship.
The narrative often frames Blitzo as if he is the one who has wronged Stolas by not prioritizing Stolas’ feelings and needs above all else. Or, it frames both Stolas and Blitzo as being equally in the wrong for the conflicts in their “relationship”.
This framing, and the extent to which fans try to justify it as being ANYTHING other than what it actually is—Stolas coercing Blitzø into a relationship where he has no power and is at the risk of losing his livelihood—is baffling to me.
This framing, coupled with the writer’s absolute refusal to ever have Stolas held accountable for his actions (including Stolas still not actually apologizing for the situation he put Blitzø into—he acknowledges that the relationship being transactional is wrong, but does not acknowledge that he was wrong to coerce Blitzø into that relationship. He says “…it isn’t right…it never was”, not “What I did wasn’t right, and never was”) is why I can’t consider St0litz to be just a “complex” or “messy” relationship.
It don’t think it can be, because it’s not a relationship. Not a real one. It’s a transaction, where Stolas treats Blitzø like a sex object. And whether that was the intent or not, Blitzø’s reaction above and saying that he would do anything to keep the grimoire makes it really hard for me to see St0litz in any other light.
As a final note, I’m not saying that you can’t write dark relationships, or have complex and unsympathetic protagonists. You can ship whatever you want! You can have characters that sexually coerce and abuse others, you can write every dark and twisted thing your mind can come up with.
But it’s very clear that Helluva Boss’s writers want to frame Stolas as being the wronged party, and the one who we are supposed to sympathize with—and you just can’t have it both ways.
You can’t act like you’re writing a complex love story between two very complicated and real people, when the relationship that you’re describing is so utterly one-sided and unbalanced.
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sojourner-between-worlds · 1 year ago
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You know what, no, I'm not done talking about this because the symbolism is god tier.
Yusei starts out as a Satellite. In essence, a fake star. Anyone who knows anything knows that when you look up at the night sky, the brightest objects are planets and satellites. They look like stars, but they aren't stars. They are man-made to serve a purpose, and when they wear out, they are easily replaced, the offline ones left to float around as space junk for the rest of time.
But Yusei's not a fake. He's the real deal.
He breaks out of Satellite and earns the moniker "Satellite's Shooting Star". But the thing about shooting "stars" is that they still aren't really stars at all, and worse yet, they burn out so quickly they barely exist for a moment in time. This is what was expected for him, too: he could have stayed where he was, a man-made object with a given purpose, but because he decided that wasn't good enough, he was going to get his moment to shine but then burn out into nothing.
But Yusei isn't a shooting star, either. He's not burning out.
No, he was just getting started.
He pulls other people to himself with all the force of a black hole yet without destroying any of them. (Well, except for one. One who willingly allowed himself to be destroyed to allow Yusei to shine all the brighter.) He gathers them and the future is so bright that there is nothing else to see and you get this sense that, even though you don't know what will happen, anything is possible.
Yusei's not a satellite. He's the real deal.
And he's not a shooting star. He's not burning out.
He's a quasar. He's creating endless possibilities.
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hanzajesthanza · 1 month ago
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"the michael kandel translation of "the witcher" short story can't hurt you!!"
the michael kandel translation of "the witcher" short story:
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#WE HERE IN K L O T H S T U R#the witcher books#[ Nobody liked that. ]#i like how the first two 'main' translations (like published for mass market circulation ones i mean)#were like 'no we can't call it a strzyga... no no...'#(maybe like: 'the english readers won't understand...')#and then when the game and book hit (i.e. both beginning with geralt fighting the striga)#everyone was like 'whoa that striga was really cool'#idk idk enough about it yet to say anything definitively#but my experience and all the other reviews and experiences i've read#from other anglophone readers with no prior exposure to polish or broader slavic myth or culture#has been just like: 'whoa i never knew about that... that's really unique and cool'#and on the flip side. originally witcher gained popularity in part because of the familiarity of the fairy tale#and so despite that witcher in general takes a lot of everything from across europe#if i may just summarize it really obtusely and without taking the precaution of nuance and all#although the first two translations were very much intended to feature polish writers and writing#in the way of the actual translation it feels like they tried to diminish its 'polishness' for the english reader#like for example in chosen by fate itself there are no diacritics (though idk maybe that was a lack of capability of the printing press)#it FEELS like that i'm not saying it was intentional but#for example when you don't say 'leshies' and instead say 'bugbears' that feels like diminishing it#but then later when the witcher's quote-unquote 'polishness' is allowed to come through clearer#then it actually is part of why english audiences were like whoa this is interesting i like it :)#you know real-life events are stories too. and i feel like this is a story with a good moral: 'be yourself'#this is also one of the prime subjects where i disagree with sapkowski lol#because re: 'death of the author' theory type stuff. authors cannot control how their works are interpreted by their audiences#works get interpreted on their own fortunately or unfortunately#so though i think it would be misled to engage with the witcher as if its ONLY good quality is its 'polishness'#i think that also it should be acknowledged how its unique take on culture made it appealing to both domestic and foreign audiences#i think where the problem lies is when we believe it can't be both polish and a blend of multiple cultures and traditions#because like yeah. author is an arthurian weeb
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iguessitsjustme · 6 months ago
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Love Sea Ep 1 Thoughts
Okay. I know I said my next liveblog would be She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat because it won my poll BUT I decided I’m gonna be liveblogging Love Sea as it airs each week. And I will be liveblogging She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat later today. Or at least starting the liveblog. But liveblogging Love is the only way I think I make it through this series. I got my snacks I my got a diet coke. Pray for me watching a MAME show. Keep in mind that I am not a fan of MAME generally (and I have now finished this episode and this show is no exception. Don't get mad at me if you click the read more and don't like what I say). Under the cut as per usual:
I do like water so the water effect and sheer amount of water at the very beginning makes me extremely happy. I want more water forever.
FISH!!!!
“Dive and go get it” is not an appropriate response to dropping a pen in the water. Accept your loss.
DON’T PUSH PEOPLE OFF OF BOATS. DO NOT PUSH PEOPLE OFF OF BOATS. I DO NOT CARE. DO NOT PUSH PEOPLE OFF OF BOATS. HE IS NOT WEARING A LIFE JACKET. HE IS NOT PREPARED TO BE IN THAT WATER AT ALL. DO NOT PUSH PEOPLE OFF OF BOATS.
A nice, tranquil place being called heaven on earth makes sense. Our protagonist showing up and immediately calling it hell on earth because ???? does not make sense. Maybe see more than two feet of it before declaring it to be hell?
Calling someone that speaks a different dialect an idiot when you are on their island…bold. Dumb. And bold.
Do not steal his phone. You’re just an asshole. You’re both assholes. But you pushed a man off of a boat so I hate you more. All the other guy has done is been uppity and snobbish. He hasn’t actively endangered anyone’s life for a laugh.
And now purposefully speaking a dialect he doesn’t understand. Yes, he was an ass about it, but you knew he didn’t understand and did it anyway. And now he has explicitly said he doesn’t understand and you’re rubbing it in his face. You can speak a dialect he knows and understands and you both know you can and yet…
Oh I got it. He behaves like a teenager. But like the kind of teenager that needs a good life resorting. He’s a bully but no one really calls him out for it because he disguises it behind class clown behavior. He needs a swift kick in the pants considering he’s an adult that’s behaving this way.
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I dislike how these shows always portray women as incapable of talking about the hotness of these guys. It’s not just BL. Other dramas are just as guilty if not more so. But c’mon. Having women characters does not excuse your portrayal of the other women in the story as only caring about some random dude’s hotness. Mut is hot? Not my taste but I can see why people consider him hot. But I guarantee most women on vacation, while they talk about hot guys, are also doing other things and talking about other things. Like the books they are reading on the beach. And how hot they themselves are. And the next activity they’re doing. They aren’t laser focusing on Mut. Except that the show says they are. Because they have no identities outside of a weak plot device to convince the audience of how hot Mut is. If he was really that hot, this tactic would not be needed. It would be conveyed in the rest of the show.
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See how differently it’s framed for the men? Women are the ones interest in Mut, but when it’s for the men, it’s that Mut is open to them. The attraction is his. This is definitely setting the tone for the relationship that’s being built. Cause our other lowkey asshole (I’ll learn his name eventually maybe) is a man. He is not interested in Mut. But he is apparently Mut’s type so Mut will be attracted to him. It’s a different way of taking away agency but here it is on a character level and not removing agency from an entire gender.
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They better be delivering this to me I have a feeling I’m gonna need it.
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BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA get em
This montage of people interacting with Mut trying to tell us what a good person and community member he is feels like such lazy writing. Incredibly lazy writing. Like makes me angry because despite her faults, I know MAME is capable of better than…that.
DID HE JUST LEFT HIMSELF INTO THE ROOM BECAUSE HE HAS A KEY. ABSOLUTELY THE FUCK NOT.
Romance *gags* aside, this is incredibly poor customer service. He didn’t knock. He didn’t announce he was coming in. I’m hoping it’s not early in the morning and that our lowkey asshole is just sleeping in. He’s cleaning the room and going through not-his-things. HE TOOK PICTURES. Someone call the police. Or call the me. I’ll go kick his ass.
Also also also the fact that he had that key that he was supposed to give to lowkey asshole means that HE SHOULD NOT HAVE USED IT TO ENTER THE ROOM. HE SHOULD NOT HAVE HAD IT.
Okay I need a break. This scene has gone on entirely too long with just the two of them standing on talking. There needs to be some movement on the screen and the tiny amount of body movement is not cutting it. Lowkey asshole should be walking away during this conversation. That would be in character and provide the necessary movement. But as it is…this whole scene feels stale and stagnant. So I’m gonna go make some food. Maybe I’ll be less pissy about this whole scene when I come back.
Okay. I am back but I am not less pissy. Tell me, how did I manage to mess up pasta? Truly is a skill I must say. And I’m not that bad of a cook. I swear but…I digress. Let’s just get back into it *grumbles*
That was the weakest punch I’ve ever seen. And I have weak little noodle arms.
Even the GL part of this is toxic. Miss secretary ma’am. I have an idea. Send her all of the shit on your plate. Email her all of the shit you have to do. In the email tell her what hours you are actually available and if she cannot work with that, then that’s unfortunate but that is her only option.
You don’t call the owner’s secretary to fix a light bulb. You call maintenance. Girl if you don’t grow a spine and tell her no….
I had to mute this damn show because the music is trying to convince me this is romantic and I am not a fool. I have eyes. Also stop using flashbacks of things that happened earlier this episode. This is the first episode. We know what Mut is thinking about when staring at his hand. We were there for that scene five minutes ago.
If someone started reading what I was writing over my shoulder without being explicitly invited to, I would pour hot sauce in their eyes.
This hug makes me mad. I’ll leave it at that.
Okay. It’s time for something I can’t believe I’ve never done before! Rae’s hatred scale. Where I rank the characters on how much I hate them:
Vi - 2/10. Honestly give this girl a raise. She isn’t paid enough to deal with this. I do need her to get a backbone though. C’mon my girl you can do it. You can learn to stand up for yourself. I believe in you.
Rak - 5/10. Look I learned his name! I think. He’s lowkey an asshole but honestly he just wants to be left alone but was sent on this trip that he didn’t ask for and is now being harassed by this guy that he doesn’t like because his “friend” paid for it.
Mook - 10/10. Girl what’s wrong with you? I hope someone slaps you in your face. Learn how to treat people.
Mut - 1000000000/10. DO NOT PUSH PEOPLE OFF OF BOATS.
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boyfridged · 2 years ago
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the brilliance of jay's progression in countdown is that it gives you a promise of positive character development, and then it breaks it. and it does so intentionally, in the most diverting way, to emphasize jason's inability to escape the cycle.
or, another post breaking down the series, where i repeat myself a lot but also make a clearer argument.
there are three notable events that happen at the beginning: the subtle showcase of jay's internal conflict considering his approach toward killing (the very first encounter with duela and the monitor), jay reaching out to donna in crisis ("i guess I just wanted to be around someone else who might know how it feels…"), and finally – his helmet shattering. these scenes tell you: jason's direction as a character is changing, and it seems, for the better. he's about to abandon his trauma-based (no matter how ironic, it does remain tied to his trauma) identity, he is connecting with people, and he seems to be on a brink of understanding that his moral standing does not provide easy answers or solutions either.
and for the most part of the series, we see that narrative unfolding (even if a bit non-linear, still innocently convincing way). it is, in many ways, supported by bringing up features of his characterisation from the 80s. jason remains, of course, still unpleasant in ways typical for this era of writing, and is conflicted and disagreeable, which makes sense for his utrh/post-utrh personality. however, there are also details that bring us back to his original robin run and his cameos on ntt – we see him being responsible (e.g. #43 – suggesting to bring in other superheroes in crisis, even though he clearly is not keen on the idea of working with them), determined (#16: “isn’t that your super-power, stupid boy? too stupid to ever give up?” “maybe it is”), sensitive (half of the whole storyline, really), caring for gotham (gotham by gaslight) and people-oriented (as early as #51).
the issue that particularly signals that jason is an inherently good person and externalizes his internal conflicts regarding classic heroic vigilantism vs his cynical approach is #30, where we meet batman of earth-15 –  alt jason, whom our jason attempts to punch in the face.
and on topic of batman – jason is always gravitating towards batman. in gotham by gaslight jay looks delighted to see (the foreign) bruce and suggests checking with the local bat. then, earth-51 arc arrives.
earth-51 arc (#16 - #13) is a culmination of a promise of catharsis for jason. we have already seen him as batman, as a confirmation that a different life for him is possible. and here he has a chance to come to terms with his past and overcome it. he meets a version of bruce who has done exactly what he wanted him to do in utrh: killed the joker and the rest of the rogue gallery. what is most important – he is disappointed with this version of his father. we realise that jason, deep down, has an intimate and intuitive understanding of what batman stands for; and that he shares most of his values. this is a truth that you can't ignore especially since jay is the one to inspire this hollow, cynical version of batman to go out and fight in a seemingly lost battle.
and then batman dies. right in front of him.
this is a central moment of the narrative, for many reasons, most strikingly:
the symmetry:, a premise known from the lost days, becomes literal. this "the father had lost a son, and now the son had lost the father" is a cruel parallel to a death in the family and bruce's grief. jason's death created a gap between them that jay has been desperately trying to close, with no avail – because in bruce's mind, jason remains dead. now that jason is grieving bruce, the connection closes on both sides, and there's no way for either of them to reconcile the mourning with the reality of the other being truly alive. in this sense, the arc solidifies that jason can never come home.
no good deed goes unpunished. as i have mentioned before, so far jason is established as someone good at heart, but confused; and the reader intuitively assumes that his better, honest side will win. yet, the moment jason gives in to hope, it victimises and retraumatizes him. this event, again, brings to mind his own death, when he tried his best to save sheila and ended up paying the highest price for it. so, narrative-wise, jason is always punished for his kindness.
perhaps because of the nonchalant act that jason pulls off, many readers seem to miss that everything that happens after that arc is an upshot that follows logically from it.
jason's immediate determination to leave – and later a short period of indecision that ends up with his dramatic exit, pushing his team away, makes perfect sense when you consider what intense trauma he has just gone through. admittedly, i'm not a fan of the notion that he would give up at all (i think he's always ready to give up on himself, but not on the world), but then on the other hand, if there's anything that would cause it, narrative-wise, witnessing batman dying does sound like a good incentive for that. (it also has to be pointed out that jason seems to be confident that the rest of the team can go into the final battle without him anyway; it's not like he would go back to his earth not even knowing if said earth will exist tomorrow).
it's crucial to notice that following that crisis of faith (faith in fighting for the world) is followed by him raising up for the challenge again, but now... worse and even more confused. in the final confrontation with donna, jason antagonizes the superhero community, and when we see him at the end of the series (#1) his monologue indicates that he believes the capes to be naive. (significantly, he also focuses on bruce and offends the memory of 51 earth-bruce by calling him crazy; an action that can be seen as suppression of his own guilt and invoking, once again, a cruel symmetry considering bruce's engagement in victim-blaming after jason's death). this, once again, is consistent with the "no good deed" reading – jason diminishes superhero values because he has been continuously punished for living by them. (and unlike other superheroes, he doesn't have a support system nor skills in compartmentalization that would help him deal with this trauma) every leap of hope re-traumatised him. hence, it seems to be no surprise that jason decides to abandon the mask, and in the closing scene we see him without it. the promise of the shattered helmet is pushed to an extreme – jason does not get a new alt identity. he denounces the idea of superheroism completely.
and yet, what is ultimately subversive about the ending, is that jay is not truly a civilian and he does not abandon vigilante ways. he does the same thing. we see him without a mask, but he is clearly working a case. he might have rejected the symbolic dimension of the vigilante work, but he still carries the same delusional hope for bettering the world and protecting people that the superhero community does. only now, he is even more isolated and doesn't have any identity to go by (as he is still legally dead).
as such, the ending opens a new question regarding jason's understanding of himself and vigilantism, or rather the lack thereof. is it possible that vigilantism is really at the core of jay's trauma? and why, potentially, is it something that is so destructive for him as a character specifically? (and i have some answers for that, but i'm not going to get into it here, as it's already a very long post)
so, tldr; the genius of countdown is that it establishes jay as sensitive, determined, and fundamentally good (this is what the purpose of seeing him as batman is!), and then it brutally reminds the reader that jason’s tragedy is that on this specific earth, in this specific timeline, his love doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. the story goes on as it did; one way or another, jay is trapped in the cycle of his care ironically creating rifts between him and the others, and bringing him to his own downfall.
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mammorus-maleficarum · 16 days ago
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cyrian, jowin, bastian. lots of characters in veilguard whose names are just a single letter different from previous characters
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