#never not a whiplash 😀

[lale-txt]

heartbreaking! one of your favorite artists makes fun of y/n fics!

[cressthebest]

Crimson Rivers thoughts pt. 44

chapter 67:

1. jfc remus (how is he that strong)

2. god, can’t our side have one fucking win? all these people captured. including my remus

3. “"She started the war for me, and she'll end it for me, too."” GOD i love lesbians

4. NO NO NOOOO NO NO NOOOOOO NOOOOO NOOOO MARLENE STOP NOOOOO!!! SHE WANTS TO PROPOSE TO DORCAS AFTER THE WAR!!!! SHES GONNA DIE I CANT HANDLE THIS

5. 😦

6. marlene?? i-

7. i’m still in shock

8. okay i have my bearings. this is why the post is two days after the last one lol. anyways, i’m actually pissed that she didn’t get to die a big dramatic or memorable death. she didn’t do anything. it was just a landmine. and she’s dead. and i get it, i really do. war isn’t always big heroic deaths. it’s also this. where one moment, you’re planning to propose to your partner and laughing with your freind, and half a second later, you’re blown to bits. but genuinely, her death fucked me up. i knew it was coming, but not like this. holy shit, not like this

anyways, the first thing i did after i read that bit was text my freind. and first thing they did was call me. i sent in bold “IM CRYING” and i get back “why” “MARLENE” bro immediate call. not well. not well at all

9. i continued and read the rest of her death. and her last words being dorcas will forever fuck me up

10. PANDORA????? PANDORA????

12. anyways all i did was call back the freind and say “PANDORA” and that bitch laughed at me. (love them to death) told them to go suck a lemon (they’d never heard that phrase before) and then they made me hang up to finish reading

my poor roommate has heard me call this freind twice (it’s ten o’clock at night)

13. “Horace would need more than just two hands, many more, to count the amount of people who would have gladly put their guns down for Pandora alone.” yeah, me for one

14. FLEAMONT NOOOOO

15. james will be devestated beyond belief

16. remus? huh??? he was shot in the head. but. he had a pov. i’m not sure now

17. …dorcas? i was so sure she had a pov

no wait she has a pocket. just checked

18. regulus???

19. um actually albus can fucking keel over. wont save all those other people in the lineup, then hears his brothers name and is willing to sacrifice the war for him. i get it, but alberforth knew this would happen to him

20. huh, damn. and alberforth still gets shot

21. 🚨🚨🚨pandora is safe. holy shit pandora is safe. i repeat pandora is safe 🚨🚨🚨

22. and fleamont and suddenly that all made sense

23. “”You forgot to count your bullets."” do i hate snape? yeah. but that’s fucking iconic

24. “Riddle lost the moment those doors burst open and two of Euphemia's someday son-in-laws moved into the room with Dorcas Meadowes one step ahead of them.” lmao freaking iconic. more historically important than trump getting shot

25. effie stopping to mourn barty gave me chills

26. NO FLEAMONT!!!! i’m getting fucking whiplash from this

27. effie having such a short pov but still so much emotion and character is shown in her love for fleamont

28. yall remus, regulus, and dorcas are fucking insane.

and i’m so here for it

29. “For all those years Sirius was taken away from him, Regulus breaks Riddle's fingers. Ten years, ten fingers.

For what Riddle took from James, Regulus takes his eyes. This is a difficult task. Regulus has never removed someone's eyes before. It's messy, and it takes the combined efforts of Remus and Dorcas to keep Riddle from flopping right out of his chair.”

mom pick me up i’m scared

30. “There are no good people in war, and now Dorcas thinks there are no good people out of it—certainly not her, because she would gladly go back into it just to have Marlene again.”

going feral over this actually. i’m unwell. i’m so freaking feral over this omg

31. reading authors notes and finding out that monty was author’s prim is actually making me go fucking insane

32. 😀 hi i’m unwell

(anyways side note, uhhh chapter was fucking insane but also like if y’all are reading this fic or this post, just know that there is no anger or resentment towards the author. he wrote this for himself and shared it with us. it’s a masterpiece and we RESPECT people. so yeah, this is the story he wanted to tell, so he wrote it for himself. just ya know, so yall remember)

[also don’t sell fics 😊 i will hunt you down]

[haegeumi]

HP. H. P. WHAT THE HELL! the thought of cucking yeonjun...*chef's kiss* and the fact that he did it bc he noticed mc's crush lil crush on kai?? ahahahaha i'm fine. i am normal. 😀.

i just knowwww kai is a god at eating pussy. i feel it in my bones (and my clit) ‼️and having yeonjun watch, wow. just. i think i would pass away if that happened to me honestly...love how they would speak in korean to plan things out just to keep mc on her toes. ik my brain wouldn't be able to translate that quickly (esp if i was getting eaten out) so that was a genius idea i love ur brain

the whole "don't let her cum (but actually do)" was so evil. i loved it more than i can describe in words. like it made me shiver a little bc she knows it was wrong to cum — but then jjun is nice? about? it? call me nct 127 bc shawty give me whiplash

i love this a normal amount i swear...thank u for sharing ur big brain ideas with us hp!! i will never get enough <3

something nice — sub!fem!reader x dom!yeonjun x servicetop!kai

cw. reader is in an established (open) relationship with yeonjun, cucking? (kai eats reader's pussy while yj watches lol), cunnilingus ofc, nipple play, orgasm denial, edging, pet names (baby, jjun), begging, mention of "punishment" but nothing's ever done, yeonjun and kai talk about reader and what they're gonna do to her (without her understanding—everything is consensual in the beginning, but read note below), let me know if there's anything else. notes. IMPORTANT: ok so the tea with this one. the idea here is that the reader doesn't speak korean well and kai and yj are speaking korean to kinda talk about the reader and what they're gonna do to her so she doesn't understand. nothing aggressive, just describing what to do to her body so she's kinda surprised? SO!! anything in italics is in korean. thats important!! also idk how i feel about this???? smut under cut. wc. 1.5K

“Did she give you a reason or did she just break up with you?” You’re eavesdropping on Yeonjun and Kai—not that they’re being very secretive. They’re talking about a woman Kai’s been seeing while you play video games and attempt to translate in your head, but you're not being too successful, catching a few words here and there. 

“She did say one thing,” Kai says hesitantly. “But it’s kinda embarrassing.”

“What is it?”

“Well,” he starts, scooting closer to Yeonjun to awkwardly whisper something to him, twiddling his thumbs, running his fingers through his hair.

“Oh,” Yeonjun chuckles. “That’s…man, if you get really good at that, you could date anyone.”

“What are you talking about?” You finally pause your game, curiosity getting the best of you. Looking up, Kai looks like you caught him stealing cookies from a cookie jar while Yeonjun tries to hold back a chuckle. The three of you exchange looks until Yeonjun rolls his eyes to bluntly say—

“Eating women out.”

“Yeonjun—!” Kai says, shoving his arm.

“What?” He chuckles, returning the shove. “I eat her out all the time. She knows what it is. She knows you eat pussy too.”

“But that’s why that woman broke up with you?” You ask. “Because you…you're bad at eating pussy?” He blushes, averting his attention to the floor while he clasps his hands together, nodding shyly.

“Be honest, babe—am I good at eating you out?”

Looking between the two of them, you sit up and say, “Yeah, you’re probably the best I’ve had, but we’re super compatible, you know? We’re, like, super in love. That makes a big difference sometimes.”

Holding back a cocky smile, he asks, “But, objectively, I’m pretty good, right?” You shrug and nod—really, he probably is the best you’ve ever had, but that’s another story. 

“What makes it good?” Kai asks.

Humming, you think before saying, “First, he doesn’t go straight for it.” Turning red and ears getting warm, you gush and— “Oh god, Kai, don’t look at me when I tell you this.”

“Ah, this is ridiculous,” Yeonjun exasperates. “Do you just wanna practice on her?” You both whip your heads in his direction. “If you’re comfortable with it, of course,” he says to you. “Just thought it might be helpful.” 

Oh, how did you end up here? Laying in Yeonjun's bed, clenching your thighs together out of nervousness. “Remember, this is kinda specific to her. Pay attention to what whoever you’re with wants.” Kai nods, kneeling at the foot of the bed.

“She already said this—” Yeonjun says. “I don’t go straight for it. I kiss her first, then make my way down there.”

“You want him to kiss me?”

He shrugs and says, “If you’re alright with that.”

“If you are,” you say, looking Kai in the eyes. Both of them can’t help but notice the confidence you seem to be exuding, especially compared to Kai. Trembling fingers reaching for your cheek, he looks at you for permission one final time. Finally leaning in, his lips press to yours. 

You’d forgotten what it was like to have a first kiss with someone. Kai’s kisses are different from Yeonjun’s. Kai’s are much more cautious, more careful—not necessarily shy, but careful. It quickly turns hot and heavy. But you remember Yeonjun is watching you, suddenly overtaken with bashfulness, you break the kiss to glance over at him. 

Him and that sinister smile. 

Turning back to Kai, you crash into his lips again, humming into his mouth and smirking to rub how much you're enjoying this in Yeonjun's face.  

“Touch her,” Yeonjun says. “Kinda slowly, but then a little more intense.” Kai does as he’s told, his hand dragging up your hip to squeeze your tits. “Under her shirt.” 

His hand on the outside of your bra feels new and exciting. Reaching around your back to unhook it, you break the kiss to take your shirt off, pulling at the hem of his. 

“Slow down for a second,” Yeonjun chuckles and Kai listens, placing gentle kisses to your collarbone. “Lick her nipples.” Swirling his tongue around your nipple, you gasp, reaching for his hair. “Pay attention to which one she likes better.”

Kai tests both, slyly licking between the two. After testing the waters, he picks correctly. You chuckle thinking about Yeonjun sitting on a chair across the room, smirking in approval. You could look for yourself, but you can’t bring yourself to open your eyes. 

“Keep licking her until her hips roll.” This is a bit crazy, isn’t it? The guy you love telling another man how to fuck you the way you like. “Not yet.” Yeonjun switches to Korean, making you roll your eyes. If you didn’t have the energy to translate in your head earlier, you definitely can’t focus enough to translate now.

Lips trailing down your body, he tugs at your shorts, but keeps your cute pink panties on. Yeonjun talks him through every move—to lick his thumb and rub your nipple, to press his nose to the outside of your panties, to skate his lips across your inner thighs. 

Your hips roll uncontrollably, practically begging him to taste you. 

“Kai—” You whisper, your body instantly burning at the sound of the both of them chuckling. Pulling your panties down and off your legs, he throws them to Yeonjun who happily wads them up to sniff them and smell how delicious you are. 

Licking his thumb again, he keeps rubbing circles over your nipple as he finally licks your clit, your back arching as soon as he touches it. 

“Fuck—” You say breathlessly, looking down at him as his eyes sparkle up at you, your head dropping to your pillow with a thud. “Who the fuck is this bitch that says you’re bad at this?” He shakes his head, digging deeper into your pussy. 

Smiling cockily, you look over at Yeonjun, trying to control his breathing. He can’t help it—the two of you are just too hot together. He's never been able to enjoy this kind of view before. Seeing how every part of your body reacts to being touched—it's an incredible view.

“Please tell me he’s allowed to make me cum, baby,” You beg.

“Of course,” he chuckles smugly. “If he can.” Kai’s eating you out like he’s absolutely starving. And it’s true—he can’t help it. You taste too fucking good. 

Your eyes squeeze shut as you start squeaking, throwing your head back. 

“Okay, that sound means she’s gonna cum soon. Try to bring her as close to the edge as possible and then stop.” 

“Fuck, Kai,” you breathe. “Right there—yes.” You can’t believe how good he is at this, especially given the reason you're under his tongue right now. He’s supposed to be bad at this, right? 

You’re so fucking close and he can feel it. “Don’t stop—” he brings you right there. And then he does it. He stops. “Agh, fuck you,” you groan. Looking down at him, his smirking at you, eyes flashing between you and Yeonjun. 

He doesn’t waste too much time before getting back to your pussy, flicking his tongue over your clit. 

“Take it away from her for a bit. Lick her nipples again.” He does just that. You’re aching, bucking your hips over and over, desperately trying to relieve some kind of tension. But his tongue does feel amazing on your tits. Threading your fingers through his hair, you tug at it hard. He groans, his mouth dropping open like you just unlocked a new kink of his. 

Now he can’t take it anymore. Hips jutting forward, you feel the roughness of his sweatpants drag against your center, relieving some of that tension. You gasp, resorting to begging him to get back to licking you. 

“No, don’t,” Yeonjun says sternly. 

“But I want to,” Kai whines back, looking at your pussy hungrily, sticking the tip of his tongue out, giving his best begging eyes. But Yeonjun just shakes his head, satisfied with watching you uncontrollably rolling your hips up toward Kai’s mouth. Kai compromises, wrapping his hands around the backs of your thighs to yank you closer to him and presses his lips to the skin right around your clit, teasing you even more. 

“Babe—” you breathe, begging Yeonjun with your eyes to let him continue licking you. 

“I know, baby, I know…” he responds, his voice low and rough. He finally lets him lick you again. But he doesn’t show much mercy. He repeats the same tactic over and over—having him bring you right to the edge, even to the point of tears, then he stops right in his tracks.

"I'm gonna tell you to stop, but I want you to keep going, okay?" Kai nods, agreeing to his instructions. Bringing you to the edge again, you're begging for mercy, begging to cum. "Don't let her cum, Kai," he says, making tears form in your eyes. "Stop—"

And he does.

"I told you to let her cum that time."

"Sorry," he smiles up at him, licking his lips. "It's so fun to see her beg like that though." Tilting his head toward you, he says, "Look at her...she's got tears in her eyes. Isn't that the hottest fucking thing you've ever seen?"

"It's okay, baby," he says, fingers flowing through your hair while Kai's mouth finds your clit again. You're moaning, gasping for air, swearing, screaming, anything to try to find a release. "Not yet. Don't let her fucking cum, Kai." You don't think you can handle this much longer. Edging is nice, yes, but this? This is bordering torture.

"Please, please, please, Jjun..." you trail off. "Just please let me cum. I can't take it anymore."

"I know you can take it, baby. Fucking taking it so well..."

It's building again. That knot in your stomach that gets tighter and tighter with every second. That white hot fire in the pit of your stomach waiting to explode.

"Don't stop, Kai," you blurt. "I'm gonna cum—" Slamming your palm over your mouth—you shouldn't have said that. He's gonna make you regret saying that.

"Don't let her cum," he orders.

But his grip gets tighter. His tongue licks furiouser. His face digs deeper. You're so fucking close. Closer than you've ever been tonight.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, Kai..." your orgasms crashes over you like a bolt of lightning. "Yes, fuck yes, that feels so fucking good." You feel like you're having an out of body experience. It's one of the best fucking orgasms of your life. "Don't stop, right there." You chest heaves with heavy breaths.

Coming down from one of the best orgasms of your life, your vision clears up and all you keep thinking is how much Yeonjun's gonna make you pay for this. You came without his permission—what's he gonna do now? Everything flashes across your mind: not letting you cum for a week, spanking you until your ass had his hand print on it, tying you up for hours, you're not sure.

But he doesn't do any of that. His hand caresses your cheek as he smiles down at you, "Did that feel good, baby?"

Confused, you nod, "Mhmm." You're still nervous, looking around at everyone's reactions. Kai's smirking while he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. "Bad at eating pussy my ass," you say, shoving his shoulder with your foot.

"Ah, I knew you a had a little crush on him...I've seen how you look at him." Your face turns beet red. He's noticed that? Oh god... "I just wanted to do something nice for my baby."

[rinslove]

HQ BOYS AND THEIR [BAD] HABITS

featuring: miya atsumu, kozume kenma, tsukishima kei, kageyama tobio, oikawa tooru, asahi azumane, tanaka ryuunosuke, yamaguchi tadashi, tendou satori, bokuto koutaro, kuroo tetsurou, terushima yuuji, ushijima wakatoshi, sakusa kiyoomi, hinata shoyo, sawamura daichi

warnings: strong language in tsukishima’s part

autumn’s note: i started thinking about how kageyama drank straight up milk and…voila, i guess

ATSUMU swears he's going to stop bleaching his hair to let it breathe a little but then he has a minor inconvenience and he's either entering a barbershop or doing it himself

KENMA sleeps all day and is awake all night. i can't really judge him because i've started up again too but this guy just doesn't stop. he can't fix it for the life of him

TSUKISHIMA used to snap his fingers to get the attention of baristas until one time he did it to coach ukai in his shop. ukai turned around so fast and looked like he was ready to kill a bitch. that was the last time he did it

KAGEYAMA drinks plain old milk, never water, and enjoys it. how?? (if you do this it's okay i forgive you just like i forgive kageyama, but genuinely HOW CAN YOU DRINK STRAIGHT UP MILK)

OIKAWA has occasional mood swings that don't happen that often but when he does they're like.. pretty bad. doesn’t always apologise at first either

ASAHI he won't say anything if he's waiting for food and someone takes his order. he'll just stand and wait for their order and take that instead even if he doesn't like it

TANAKA automatically accuses everyone of taking whatever he’s lost if he can't find it until he realises it was in his pocket the whole time. doesn't apologise, just goes oh and carries on with whatever he was doing before

YAMAGUCHI cannot order for himself in public. he never goes out for food alone and has whoever he's with order for him. additionally, if in a supermarket and can't find anything, he'll just suffer and not buy it, even if it's super important

TENDOU can't take anything seriously and constantly got in trouble with the team for it. he started to every now and again, but sometimes he still makes jokes at the most inappropriate times

BOKUTO bites his nails religiously. this mf just won't stop i'm sorry. he's tried, but he started when he was a kid and it's not leaving his system any time soon. sakusa hates him for it

KUROO somehow relates everything to a fact he heard. you're reading a book? the author has the same name as some lesser-known scientist. you're wanting to order in for dinner instead of cooking? fun fact! ordering in might be worse than cooking for some reason!

TERUSHIMA constantly clicks his tongue piercing against his teeth and everyone wants to strangle him for it. if you're in an empty hallway and you hear a distant clicking, it's probably terushima.

USHIJIMA does not get sarcasm. tendou explained it to him, but he still doesn't. he's tried to use it, but he stayed so serious everyone thought he was being serious

SAKUSA is a slow driver. he always stays below the limit, and it's just so slow? like, everyone is going at like 60mph and he's strolling along at 40. bro please just step on the gas a little bit 😭 (edit: as of october 22 and rewatching season 4 of haikyuu again, he will drive super fast if he’s annoyed at anyone or anything; like, everything goes out of the window and you basically gotta buckle up because if someone looks at him wrong, he’s gonna shoot up to like 100mph and everyone is gonna get whiplash)

HINATA will always use emojis in his messages and it's so confusing at times (what the heck does ‘🪑🪑’ mean???)

DAICHI uses emojis for their given purpose, not what everyone actually has a mutual understanding of what they mean and always accidentally worries his friends when he uses "😀". bonus points if it's alongside a straightforward message, which it normally is

[aliensandidentity-sp22]

RNM s2ep11

YO LOVE DIEGO’S COAT

when he brings you foot while you work and proposes to you >>>

the whiplash I got from the alarm ringing

man I love Walt

THAT WAS NOT MADE IN ROSWELL LMAO DIEGO

oooo Kyle’s in troubleeeee

“can I butter your buns?” 😀

On the defensive Michael good good

wow stealing hospital resources for personal use? kyle would never…

Diego is the perfect man fr

oh yeah planarians can regenerate their bodies form their back and front ends if they’re cut in half

asshole child flint pls Gregory come back I’m beggin u

YEAH CLOBBER HIM MIKEY

“Despite you- you slapping him around, showing that Manes Man crap down his throat, he still loves. He even loves you.”

(19:18-19:27)

Liz is all spitfire and Diego looks so proud

fuck you flint

what if there’s no naomi

yeah Liz has been doing stuff but like where has she gotten the funds for all this secret research

wtf helena?????

[turtleedovee]

sorry it took so long for me to get on this but hereeeeee we go!!!

oh DAMN alright so they did do the deed

oh lord not them being loud and then her MOM PLEASE—

it’s so weird how manette is telling her daughter that she needs to stop sleeping around

but it’s so funny too 😭

boone bagging dudes and chicks since… i have no idea what year we’re in i wanna say 2010??

oh god… i forgot she took that pill delphine gave her

boone ZOOTED RN

not the flashbacks please darke we’ve barely started i can’t handle all this angst rn 😭😭

belov and zac are the best of besties

remembering the ask where i wondered if you have any specific idea of what each character sounded like and reading this had me thinking

belov: to me he has more of a nasally kind of voice??? like pietro from age of ultron kinda

zac: i am not sure… same goes for duke boone and raffa

jesse: for me, i hear Kirby Howell-Baptiste, she played simone in the good place

ari: HERE ME OUT!!! everytime i think of sri i think of andre the giant, cause i remember he’s like HUGE and stuff and my brain automatically goes to andre the giant

ok let’s get back to the story

these duos you come up with darke are PHENOMENAL— duke and boone, jack and raffa, jesse and ari, zac and belov AHHH LOVE IT

oh god boone is having a bad trip

when i read this part in the sneak peak i almost had a heart attack cause without context it’s so much more scarier

omg doctor raffa pulling through

seeing him go from laid back to serious with his work and just getting lost within his work is so AMAZING AND I LOVE THAT FOR HIM

“High as hell?”

“High as fuck, my dude,” she corrected

stop because this right here had me CACKLING

nooo boone don’t be sad please look girlie you have to visit (f/n) some time soon

ok but why did the girls coming in genuinely give me whiplash

i was so invested in this moment and as if i were REALLY in the room with boone and duke the girls bursting in made me do a double take

BELOV STOP DONT THINK LOKE THAT BOONE WOULD NEVER ABANDON YOU PLEASE

darke you’re killing me i can’t

why must you give everyone tragic backstories i can not keep doing this every week

oh… oh… the team… it’s slowly starting— OH OHHHHHH THIS IS PERFECT

no one’s gonna listen huh? well it looks like you’re gonna have to take matters into your own hands >:))))

zac don’t be afraid of boone she won’t bite— actually… i take that back

oh OHHH-

i love that moment when it clicks

YES YES GO ZAC GO

YEAAAAAAA I LOVE IT GO ZAC YOURE DINT GREAT SWEETY

Belov whispered, glancing to Boone with a grin. He's doing it.

she nodded, patting him on the shoulder before they both disappeared around the corner. He's the only one.

i feel like a proud mom rn

the awkwardness :,)

boone babes i wish i could give you a hug rn

everyone here deserves a hug

ok question: how long has it been since they brought ghost back to the states??? because if memory serves… she was unconscious for like 14 days?? i think??? so if that’s the case… how close are we to her waking up?? how will that play out??? will we get to see it play out?!

oof sorry like belov said only one question sorry for the onslaught of them :,)

“You wanna get to a family man?” She asked, with a smirk, “What the hell do you think you go for? His heart.”

uh oh 😀😀😀

OHHHHH DARKE THIS WAS SO GOOD!!! and when you said in the scripting aftermath post that we’re getting close to the climax?! ARE YOU FRRR?! i am not ready for all of that but i am also so excited!!

THE SOLDIER & THE SPY

SEASON 2 : EPISODE 6 — THE APPRENTICE

┍━━━━━━━━━━━ ★ ━━━━━━━━━━━┑

“Eyes on Glitch,” he said, glancing over his shoulder and putting his pistol back in its holster. Belov knelt down, his eyes flicking quickly over Boone.

She was wearing the same dress she had been the night before but her hair was a mess and her makeup was smudged. She was rocking slightly, staring into the distance as goosebumps pricked at her skin.

“Беда?” He asked, slowly reaching out to her, “What happened?”

Boone didn’t answer, continuing to look blankly ahead of her. Belov placed a gentle hand on her knee, wincing back as she jumped away from him with a yelp. He pulled away from her, a frown stretching across his face as he moved so she was looking at him.

“Беда, it's me. What's going on?” He asked softly, his brows furrowing as she stared through him, “Посмотри на меня, сестричка—” Look at me, little sister.

He paused, the words pouring from his mouth before he could stop them.

Little sister.

— “Прости, Кристофер. Ты не должен был возвращаться.” I'm sorry, Christopher. You shouldn't have come back. —

┕━━━━━━━━━━━ ★ ━━━━━━━━━━━┙

✪ | Battle Scarred : Aftermath | »Darke15

♜ THE SOLDIER & THE SPY

⧗ THE RED ROOM

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