#it is kinda annoying that not all the train stations are connected though there's like 2 separate loops that they run on

[quicquam-dot-com]

red dead redemption 2 has trains that run on their own! both in the online and the story mode, but the online doesn't have passenger trains, only cargo trains (i think story mode has passenger trains), but both modes have passenger trams in the town Saint Denis! also you can take over driving the train and make it train conductor simulator! you can just ride the trains for as long as you want!

I am BEGGING for an open-world game with a functioning train or tram.

Like, you actually have to wait for it in real-time, physically step on, then wait for your stop with the ability to actually explore it and chat with the other riders

No loading screens

And when you aren’t on it, you can look over and see it doing its route without you, picking up and dropping off patrons whether you’re there or not

please i need a video game that captures the joy of free public transit

[hwaslayer]

flowers on the floor (kys) | part one.

—summary: when yeosang decided he was going to take a month-long vacation, he was mainly hoping to get away from his mundane routine and the stress of work. he certainly wasn’t expecting to meet you and build a connection unlike he’s ever known. when the end of his vacation nears, promises are made to keep the relationship alive, to keep it blossoming. but eventually, as the reality settles in and the distance continues to put a wedge into your relationship, you drop your end of the promise without any trace. despite the heartbreak, all yeosang can do is think about you— hoping the universe will lead you to each other again.

—pairing: kang yeosang x f!reader

—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers to lovers | fluff, angst, smut

—word count: 30k | playlist

—content/warnings: cussing, mature language/sexually implied content, somewhat of a love at first sight/soulmate kinda thing?, mentions of a broken family relationship, family pressures and high expectations, mentions of past hookups/flings, hints at a toxic relationship/ex, alcohol consumption and intoxication, lots of making out and kissing lol, little acts of affection, bar scenes, dancing, unprotected sex, slight choking, subtle marking, fingering/clit play, mentions of oral, mentions of phone sex, handjob, multiple orgasms, aftercare, ANGST ooof, crying, overthinking and insecurities (lots of it), sorry if i missed anything!!

Kang Yeosang is typically okay with routine. 

He wakes up at 6am on the dot every day and gets himself ready for work. He grabs a banana or some boiled eggs for a quick breakfast, waiting until he arrives at the office at 8am to grab his hot cup of black coffee. He’s usually the first to be in the kitchen, helping himself to the fresh pot before Jongho, Chaerin and Wooyoung [in that order] walk in for their own servings. They gather around and chat for a bit before they head to their desks and get to work. They all work on the finance team as finance managers, preparing monthly reports and acting as liaisons between the company’s departments and outside vendors/customers. It’s a pretty flexible job, as long as they get what they need to get done and meet deadlines and attend required meetings. Most people are nice and hardworking, his boss is fairly understanding with most circumstances. Yeosang gets paid well, too. In the end, he can’t really complain. After his work day ends at 5pm, he heads straight to the gym for a good, long workout before he’s grabbing dinner to go or heading home to whip something up. He showers, gets comfortable, then hops on for a game of League before he’s laying in bed and watching useless Youtube videos. 

Then, the routine starts all over again.

Lately though, the routine’s been frustrating. Annoying to deal with. Overwhelming. People had been leaving [either permanently or taking days off after days off], dumping all the work on him to take over. He’s been taking it without complaint, but for someone who hasn’t really taken time off in the past year, his patience was running thin. Body burning out. Everything suddenly felt so mundane. Monotonous. Maybe, he finally needed a break to do something different. Maybe, he just needed a break period. That’s why he’s taking a leave of absence for a month, that’s why Wooyoung’s sitting in the driver’s seat— his bestfriend of 10 years shooting him a weird look while he makes his way to the train station with Yeosang chillin’ in the front seat.

“Wow, you’re really doing this shit.”

“No, I just submitted my leave request for shits and giggles.” Yeosang looks at Wooyoung.

“What’re you even gonna do there for a month?”

“Be away from you and Jongho, and finally be at peace.”

“You’ll be missing us as soon as you hop off that train.” 

“Right.”

“Seriously, what’re you gonna do there? I hope you find a fuckbuddy to keep you sane.”

“You know, we’re not all like you. Needing a new starting five every damn week.”

“Eh, and where’s the fun in that?” Woo teases with a small laugh. “Kidding. But also not. Really do hope you get laid while you’re on vacation.” Yeosang shakes his head and continues to look out the window, watching as the surroundings quickly pass him by. He’s honestly not sure what he’ll do over the month. He picked the town that seemed to match his vibe lately. Lowkey. Peaceful. Near the water. Convenience. Slow paced. He could spend his days at the beach and be completely content. Or, even sitting all day in the in-law he’s renting near the beach just listening to the water crash against the sand. Hell, beats another day sitting at his desk plugging in numbers and making graphs before answering passive aggressive emails from the operations department. Anywhere but here.

“You better be a good fucking friend and call me while you’re out there.” Wooyoung finally makes it to the train station and pulls up to the passenger drop-off to help Yeosang gather his things from the trunk.

“I will.”

“I’ll miss you.” Woo pouts as he pulls him into a hug.

“I’ll be back.” Yeo laughs. “Take care of Jongho and Chaerin while I’m gone.”

“Damn, Chaerin’s probably gonna cry while you’re away.”

“Stop that. She’ll be fine.” Yeo rolls his eyes at Woo’s teasing attempt. Everyone knew Chaerin had feelings for Yeo. Unfortunately, he just didn’t see her that way since he’s always considered her a good friend since they met. He didn’t wanna ruin things, didn’t wanna force something to be there when there wasn’t. He especially didn’t wanna hurt her.

“Have fun. Be safe. Enjoy yourself. Meet new people. Get some—”

“Okay, bye!” Yeosang cuts him off and drags his luggage and backpack to the entrance of the train station, waving his last goodbye to Wooyoung.

It’s 30 minutes before the train arrives, and Yeosang was able to grab some coffee and some snacks at the small store near the platform before hopping on, storing his luggage safely and settling into his seat. It’ll be a 4 hour train ride, and he made sure to bring the book he’s been needing to finish, while also downloading new episodes of a few podcasts he follows. It’ll be enough in between his tiny naps. He doesn’t mind the trek, truthfully. He might later when he hops off and finally stretches it out, but overall, the train ride is soothing.

When he finally steps foot off of the train, he does feel a little awkward and out of place since he hadn’t really treated himself to travels in awhile. But, he is excited to finally be away from work. Excited to be alone. He gives Wooyoung a quick call to tell him he’s made it and that he’s on his way to the in-law he’s renting. He makes it a point to tell him that it already feels different than being in the city, and he feels like he can breathe. Maybe then, Wooyoung wouldn’t keep pressing him about being gone for so long in a little town. Wooyoung surprisingly lets him be and is relieved to hear he’s made it safely, making Yeo promise to send him pictures knowing full well Yeo hates pictures of any sort. He agrees though, just to get him off his case and end the call on a light note.

He arrives at the in-law and the owners who live in the house above greet him with a warm smile. They give him the code to punch in at the door before sharing their number in case of any emergencies. Yeosang likes that it’s on the opposite end of the beach because of the quiet residential area. Plus, he still gets a good view being that the beach is basically at their doorstep. It’s soothing, really, really soothing. He takes his time washing up and unpacking, making himself feel at home away from home. By the time he’s settled and given himself time to rest, it’s about to be dinner. He checks for food around the area and finds a restaurant with raving reviews— people mainly boasting about the attractive staff working there, along with the delicious food and fun atmosphere. Despite that, it’s about a 15 minute walk down the road, and Yeosang can actually see it from where he’s at. It sounds worse than it actually is, though. There are no inclines or hills he has to conquer for dinner. For his first night, that seems to be a good option.

“Ayo! What can I get started for you?” Yeosang walks in and is immediately greeted by a tall, young man. He’s probably an inch or so taller than him. Sharp features. Short black hair. Piercing eyes.

“Uh, a beer sounds good. Any. Plus, popcorn chicken?.” Yeosang plops onto a high chair while a menu is slipped his way.

“That’s all?”

“Yeah, not too hungry.”

“Sounds good. It’ll be over shortly.” He gives Yeosang a tiny, toothless smile before he’s calling for someone about his food and meeting another tall male at the corner of the shop behind the registers. The other is standing at about 6’0, Yeosang thinks. He’s got a good build, deep voice that echoes throughout the shop—

“Hi!” You greet him warmly with a smile, putting a napkin down followed by a cold glass and his beer. “Hm, I feel like I haven’t seen you around here. Are you visiting?”

“Uh, yeah.” Yeosang gives you a very tiny, almost subtle toothless smile. He’s just a little surprised from you after being pulled out of his thoughts. His people-watching.

“I’m Y/N.” His eyes dart to your nametag before meeting your eyes again. 

“Yeosang.” You look at Yeosang’s features, taking note of the beautiful birthmark near his eye, his sharp jawline, his brown hair softly framing his face. He must’ve caught on because his eyes are awkwardly drifting from you, around the room— back to you. 

“Nice to meet you, Yeosang.” You giggle. “Let me know if you need anything then, happy to show you around the town, too!” You respond cheerfully and Yeosang is almost puzzled at the energy you’re giving towards a stranger like himself. A reserved, awkward stranger at that.

“Sounds good. Thanks.” 

“I’ll be back with your food.” He nods. This time, it’s Yeosang’s turn to watch as you sway your hips and walk away from the table— greeting everyone along the way with that same smile, that same energy. Everything about you seems contagious, your laugh loud enough to bounce off the walls even with the music blasting through the speakers. But, it’s cute. It’s warm and oddly comforting to hear your laugh. It just reminds him that it’s the little things; that he’s here getting his time away from home to be in his own peace. Away from the familiar, from the hustle and bustle of the city life.

“Who is that guy? I feel like I’ve never seen him before.” Jungkook pushes the basket of popcorn chicken your way. 

“Mm. A visitor.” You shrug.

“We don’t get a lot of those nowadays.” He laughs. “Looks like you were tryna get friendly on the dude?”

“Hush, I just want him to feel welcomed.” Jungkook smirks.

“Okay. You do that.” He leans over the counter. “Aye! Make sure that chicken actually makes it to him, too. You little thief.” You look over your shoulder and flip him off with a laugh.

“Bro, can one of you change the music?” You shout over to Keeho and Mingi standing off to the side, not working per usual.

“What’s wrong with the song?” Mingi furrows his brows at the Spotify playlist.

“It’s too slow. Give me Bad Bunny or something?”

“Girl, we are not at a club. There are elderly people here. Calm down.” Keeho looks through the playlist. “Let’s just put on Jungkook’s covers.” Him and Mingi laugh.

“Hey!” Jungkook yells from the kitchen. “I knew I should’ve never sent you guys my covers. Assholes.” He points the spatula their way. Eventually, they decide to stick with some 90s music, throwing on Bring It All To Me by Blaque and Nsync to kick off the playlist. You give the boys a thumbs up as you bob your head and dance to the beat, making your way over to Yeosang with his basket of popcorn chicken.

“Here you go.” You smile at him and he gives you a tiny one in response.

“Thank you.” He pokes at one with the toothpick, popping it into his mouth.

“How long are you here for?” You move around the table to be directly in his view.

“A month.” Your eyes widen.

“A month?! In this ‘lil town?”

“Well..” Yeosang looks at you, brows furrowed. “I’m from the city so it’s different. It’s just..” He pauses, not sure why he’s explaining himself to a complete stranger. You get it, though. You’ve been there. “It’s new scenery.”

“Are you visiting someone, or do you have specific plans?” Yeosang looks at you before shrugging.

“Not really. Am I supposed to?”

“Just wondering what’d you do out here for a whole month.” You give him a small smile.

“I plan to do nothing but enjoy myself. Didn’t really think that would be an issue.” He looks at you and you chuckle.

“No, of course not. That sounds like a good time. I hope you do enjoy yourself.” You pull out a pen from the apron’s pocket and scribble out your number on a napkin. “If you ever need some recommendations, text me. I’ll be happy to help.” You pass it along to him and he simply looks down at it. He doesn’t wanna be rude, but he is also grateful you offered. Though, the whole point of him coming out here was to be alone and be in his own peace. The last thing he wants to do is get wrapped up in something, someone, else when he doesn’t plan on staying or making this a frequent vacation destination.

“Cool, thanks.”

“Where are you staying?” 

“An in-law studio down the street, opposite end of the beach.”

“Oh, cute.” You smile at him cutely again. “Well, enjoy your little vacation, Yeosang. It was nice meeting you. Is there anything else I can get you?”

“I’m all good.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, I should head out. I’m pretty exhausted from the trek over.”

“Okay then. You can call me when you’re ready to pay or pay upfront with Keeho.” You give him a little, innocent wink and Yeosang can’t help but think your attitude is cute. Enticing, even. But, he brushes it off quickly because he really doesn’t think he can afford to cling onto someone, rely on someone.

He is here for his own peace.

When Yeosang wraps up his dinner, he tidies up as much as possible at the table and grabs the napkin with your number before heading to the register to pay. Keeho quickly rings him up and sends him on his way, telling him to visit again soon. All Yeo can do in return is nod, taking a mint candy on the way out.

“Where’d you go for dinner?” 

“Some restaurant down the street. Had good reviews.” Yeosang plops onto his bed after washing up and getting into his pajamas.

“Did you like it? How are the people there so far?”

“Good, I guess? The restaurant was cool. I just had something small to eat cause I wasn’t too hungry. The people working there were probably around our age. Lots of the reviews talked about the attractive staff.” Wooyoung snorts.

“Did they live up to your expectations?”

“Honestly, I can see why people are talking about it so much. The girl who served me was—”

“—Was a baddie?!”

“Dude, relax.” Yeosang laughs a bit. “She was pretty. Really outgoing.”

“Maybe she thinks you’re hot and wants to fuck.”

“We’re not all like you.” Yeosang repeats.

“Hey, it might be fun, though. You could use some friends while you’re there. Jeez. Ask her to hang out or something. Don’t be lame just cause you’re in a brand new town, that isn’t the point of getaway.” Yeosang doesn’t respond right away. All he can do is hum, letting Wooyoung continue to tell him that having new company will bring new memories, new stories, and he should really make the best out of his time there. For once, Wooyoung’s not entirely wrong. 

The next couple of days, Yeosang sees you around town. Whether you’re helping carry tubs of fresh fish into the market, talking to the elderly at the community center or chopping it up with the barista at the nearby coffee shop. You are everywhere and nowhere all at once, and Yeosang feels like it’ll be hard to dodge you while being here. Not because he’s a careless, cold asshole but because he just finds his independence important. His top priority. His daily reminder of why he’s out here. But needless to say, even if he can’t dodge you, he finds that he isn’t entirely mad about it. When Yeosang sees you next, you’re hauling in heavy ass packs of water into another restaurant. He pauses for a second, watching how you easily lift up the pack and bring it inside, oblivious to his standing figure ahead. He finally pulls himself out of it and rushes over, blocking you from carrying the last pack.

“You shouldn’t be carrying that.” Yeosang says, grabbing the heavy pack of water into the restaurant and setting it down on the counter. “Be careful next time?”

“Thank you.” You smile sweetly at him. “Didn’t mean to put you to work on your vacay.” He chuckles.

“Nah, it’s nothing. I’m not gonna let you just haul that in.” You place your hand on your hip and giggle.

“What have you been up to, Yeosang? How’s town treating you?”

“Uh, good? I’ve just been walking around nearby. Hanging out at the beach.”

“Fun. You should talk to Mingi and Keeho at the restaurant, they love paddle boarding if you’re like.. interested in trying something new.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” He tucks his hands into his pockets. “Do you work here, too?” You shake your head.

“Just like being a good neighbor and helping out whenever I can.” He nods.

“That’s sweet of you.”

“Gonna stop by the restaurant again tonight? There’s gonna be a bonfire and movie night event. We’ll be serving beer and all that good stuff.”

“Tonight?”

“The flyers are everywhere, silly.” You point at a flyer posted on the pole behind him. “Come, it’ll be fun.”

“Mm, I’ll think about it.” You cock your head to the side and slightly pout. “Sorry, it’s just not my thing. I..” Yeosang lets out a breath as he scratches at the back of his neck. “I probably sound really lame. But, lots of people. Noise. Gets kinda overwhelming.” He shrugs.

“I understand.” You give him a tiny toothless smile. “That’s okay! I promise it won’t be too crazy, and it’s pretty chill. But, totally up to you.”

“Thanks for extending the invite.” You nod. “Any more water to carry in?” You laugh.

“Nope! Thank you again. See you around?” Yeosang nods, watching as you step into the restaurant and start helping the middle-aged lady inside despite her playful efforts of shoo’ing you away. Yeosang shifts his gaze to his two feet, kicking at the rocks beneath them before walking down the path to the grocery store. He’s kinda cursing himself for sounding so fucking lame in front of you. Lots of people? Noise? What was he thinking? It wasn’t necessarily a lie, though— he actually doesn’t like to be in crowded places for long, doesn’t really like to party or do bonfires, socialize for long periods of time with people he doesn’t know well. Is the type of person to join a team dinner for the free food but will be gone in the next hour or so. Will join a work party because he feels obligated to show face for at least an hour before rushing home to get in bed. But, he’s cursing himself because he is on vacation, exploring new territory and breathing in new scenery. He should have some fun. He should’ve tried a little harder to sound a bit more interested.

“Jesus, Kang Yeosang.” He mutters to himself before shaking his head and heading off to the grocery store to grab some necessities for the studio.

That evening comes quickly, and Yeosang is pacing back and forth in his studio, wondering if he should just say fuck it and join the festivities. He’d say he decided pretty quickly despite the internal battle of what to wear— the stress and overthinking almost causing him to back out.

Sooner or later, he finds himself staring out at the restaurant and beach ahead of him; feet coming to a pause when he tries to scan the crowd from where he stands, suddenly trying to find a familiar figure— you. He slowly walks over, closing in on the crowd that has gathered around the huge bonfire on the beach while the screen is getting blown up on the side to prepare for the movie. He’s pretty late, maybe a good hour and a half since everything started. No one seems to pay him any mind, and it’s almost enough to make Yeosang turn right back around and slip back into his—

“Yeosang!” He hears a familiar voice call his name from behind, allowing his body to relax a bit. “You came!” You smile from ear to ear, placing a basket full of fried squid down for the people lounging nearby.

“Couldn’t hurt to check it out.” You chuckle.

“You’ll enjoy it. Promise. Want me to grab you some beer? Any food?”

“Beer is good. Thank you.” He gives you a tiny, toothless smile. You give him a nod in acknowledgement before you scurry off into the restaurant and grab a beer bottle.

“Hey, he came?” Jungkook comes out from the kitchen, taking a break from all the cooking he’s been doing.

“Yeah.”

“Must like you.”

“Can you give it a break?” You laugh a bit. “He’s exploring a new town for a month.”

“Cute.” He wiggles his eyebrows, following you out onto the front patio that flows onto the beach.

“Here.” You hand Yeosang the bottle. “This is Jungkook, by the way. Our main chef. Jungkook, Yeosang.”

“Nice to meet you. Hope she hasn’t been running you up the wall already.” You nudge him and he lets out a small yelp, hand over his stomach before his free hand reaches for a hand shake. “Kidding—fuck.”

“Nice to meet you, too.” Yeosang chuckles.

“Oh, hey. You were at the restaurant a couple of days ago. I rang you up.” Keeho and Mingi come from the side of the restaurant, hauling out a cooler full of more beer and canned cocktails. “Keeho. Mingi.” He points to himself before pointing at Mingi.

“Nice to meet you.”

“Movie’s about to start in the next 15 minutes.” Jungkook pops open one of the cans and drags a chair out to the sand, greeting people along the way before he finds a good spot.

“Gonna stay for the movie?” Mingi asks Yeosang. He can’t help but shift his attention to you for a brief second, hoping you’d have the answer for whatever reason. You look up at him with those cute, doe-eyes, subtly nodding with a small smile creeping up at the corner of your lips.

“Yeah, for a bit.” He returns his attention to Mingi.

“Cool. There’s some bean bags there you can grab to sit on!” Him and Keeho start heading out to sit next to Jungkook and a few other people from town.

“Come.” You call him over towards the bean bags set off to the side. “We can sit over here, give us some distance from people.” You drag a bean bag near the side, still good to see the screen but distant enough so you weren’t mixed within the crowd.

“I— You don’t have to sit here and be away from your friends.” You laugh and plop down onto the bean bag.

“Trust me, it’s nice to be away from them. I see them every day.” Yeosang slowly nods, setting his bean bag next to yours. 

“What movie’s playing?”

“Dune.”

“Interesting.” Yeosang looks around as he settles into the bag comfortably, legs slightly spread while he leans back. “Are people gonna be out here for the entire movie?”

“Mhm. You really don’t have to stay for the entire thing, though.” You point at the restaurant. “Do you wanna share some snacks? Candy? Popcorn?”

“Sure? Anything you grab is good with me.” You give him a tiny smile before heading to the restaurant and scooping a big helping of the candy salad you, Keeho and Mingi made earlier for people to help themselves to. It had some sour worms, gummy bears, other gummies and fruity candy. 

When you get back, the movie is already starting and the chatter from people has died down around you. The night is perfect— the stars are painting the skies, the temperature perfectly warm and still. Yeosang is already paying full attention to the movie, finding interest in it that he didn’t think he’d have initially. You gently nudge him with the bowl, allowing him to snack on a few gummies. At some point, Yeosang accidentally dips his hand into the bowl at the same time as you; grazing your hand slightly and flinching at the contact. He lets out a low ‘sorry,’ shifting in his seat at the awkward encounter. When it finally hits the 2-hr mark, you’re actually getting kinda tired of sitting there and don’t think you can wait until the rest of the 30 mins or so are up. It had been a long day, and as much as you wanna hang out and kick it ‘till the end, you find your body getting hit with exhaustion earlier than expected. You stand to your feet and head back into the restaurant, cleaning up what you can to give the boys less work later on. 

“Need help?” You turn to find Yeosang standing there, hands dug into his pockets as you wash a few dishes and set them on the drying rack.

“No. The boys can handle the rest.” You dry off your hands. “Thank you, though.”

“Are you heading back to the movie?”

“Probably not. I think I’m gonna call it a night, exhaustion hit me out of nowhere.”

“Can I walk you?”

“I’ll be fine. You should catch the rest of it, you looked like you were into it!” You giggle.

“I can always catch it another time.” You stare into his eyes for a brief second before clearing your throat and nodding, tossing the paper towel away before grabbing your things. 

“What, you’re leaving?! That’s new.” Keeho says, coming into the restaurant to place a few more dirty dishes off to the side.

“Exhausted, my dude.” He looks at you up and down before looking at Yeosang, patiently waiting off to the side of the restaurant for you.

“Mhm. Sure.” He says lowly. “Let me know how it goes.”

“Just walking me home.”

“Uh huh, that’s how it all starts.” You snort and punch him on the bicep.

“See you tomorrow.”

“Aye, you’re opening, remember!” Keeho calls out as you meet Yeosang. You wave in acknowledgement before heading out, throwing on your bag strap and letting it hang over your shoulder. The walk is pretty quiet at first, but it isn’t uncomfortable for you. Maybe for Yeosang, but not you. He’s the first to break the silence though, surprising you again with his curiousity.

“Do you work at the restaurant every day?”

“For the most part. Otherwise I’m either around town or helping at the animal shelter.”

“The animal shelter?” You nod.

“One of my favorite things to do.”

“That’s cool.”

“Have you found anything interesting while you’ve been here? Anything you’re planning to do?”

“Mm, not really. To be honest, I just wanted to get away from the city. There wasn’t a huge goal to explore the town or find new hobbies.” He looks at you before looking down at his feet.

“Well, I’m sure either way you’ll find things to enjoy.” You point down the street. “I just live right over there, by the way. You don’t really have to walk me all the way.”

“It’s alright.”

“Did you at least enjoy hanging out a bit?”

“Yeah. T’was nice to see people get together.”

“It’s a small town. We don’t have much to do in the first place.” You laugh. “Everyone’s really chill, though. Soon, you’ll be able to pick out familiar faces, overhear the same names being thrown around, get used to who is working where, what the restaurant specialties are.” 

“I think I’m slowly getting there.” Yeosang looks at you. 

“Besides me, silly.” You continue to keep eye contact with him. “Hey. Do you have any siblings?”

“No.”

“Are your parents from the city?”

“Yeah.” 

“Are you close to them?”

“As can be, I guess?”

“Hm.” You hum. “So, you see them often?”

“I do.” You look down at your feet, and it’s easy for Yeosang to tell that something is on your mind. He won’t pry though, he doesn’t necessarily think he has the right to. Nor is it his place to.

“They were okay with you up and leaving for a month?” He shrugs.

“I mean, I am coming back.” He chuckles a bit. “They understood.”

“That’s nice.” Is all you respond with.

“Soo..” Yeosang kicks at the rocks. “You’re working the early shift tomorrow then..?”

“To the shelter.”

“I see.”

“What do you plan to do?”

“I don’t know. Hang out at the beach some more?”

“When are you gonna stop by the restaurant again?” You giggle, treading up the hill before turning the corner to your building. The building isn’t entirely fancy, nor is it completely run down. It’s cozy enough to house 18 units— your studio one of two on the very first level. Yeosang pauses in his steps when he sees you fishing for your keys in your bag, doing his best to give you space and not wanting to intrude.

“One of these days.”

“You plan to be back?” Yeosang chuckles a bit and nods.

“At some point during my month’s stay I’m gonna have to.”

“Thanks for walking me home. Hope you enjoyed tonight, even though we didn’t finish the movie and stuff.” He gives you a toothless smile.

“Yeah.”

“Goodnight.” You look at him once more before unlocking the lobby door, stepping in to make your way to your safe space.

In the next few days, you run into Yeosang a lot. Even if it’s inevitable with how small the town is, there are people in town that you don’t see for weeks on end. For reasons why, you aren’t sure. Wrong timing, other plans, your own schedule being pretty busy between the restaurant and the shelter. But you’ve been seeing Yeosang every day since he walked you home; whether it be across the street, a glimpse at the convenience store, checking out at the grocery store, at the beach. You’re not gonna lie, Yeosang is attractive, but there’s more to him and you’re curious to find out. You want to know more about him, why he’s here for a month, why he decided he needed a break from the city. Something about him is intriguing to you.

Tonight, you’re wrapping up at the shelter; folding the remaining washed blankets and towels from the dryer before taking out the trash. To your surprise, Yeosang is walking down the street from the nearby gym and sauna, spotting you first before you even have the chance to.

“Y/N?” He stops in his tracks, duffle bag slung over his shoulder. You turn just as you toss the hefty trash bag into the dumpster, safely removing your gloves from each hand before tossing them into the bin as well.

“Oh hey you!” You wave and smile at him, and for some reason, it’s starting to make Yeosang weak. You always show off the beautiful smile and that same energy, it’s no wonder you pull everyone in.

“Is this the shelter?” Yeosang asks, eyeing the building. It’s rather small, and there’s not much of a giveaway that it’s a shelter. Still, Yeosang feels kinda silly for asking.

“Mhm. Come!” You wave him in as you stand at the back door.

“Uh. I’m kinda gross and sweaty from the gym.”

“I really don’t care.” You laugh. “Come. I can show you the babies.” Yeosang doesn’t say anything in response, and instead, walks in while tugging his duffle bag close. “You can leave your bag here. It’s just me and I’ll be closing up soon.” You show him to the laundry room. Yeosang sits his bag on the counter before following you out of the back area and into the shelter itself— dogs in individual rooms, while cats, bunnies and a few other small animals [snakes, birds] are off to two other rooms at the other end. “The wildlife center and vet are in the building next door. I don’t go there much unless they need extra hands, but that’s rare.”

“Woah.” He mutters to himself when he sees the huge, black doberman peacefully sleeping in his room. He slowly walks past and smiles at the tiny maltese next door, looking up at him from the cot; big, brown doe eyes that could easily melt someone’s heart. “How cute.”

“Isn’t she? This is Piper.” You point at the maltese. “That’s Ro.” You point at the doberman. “Piper was found wandering the streets, no one came looking for her.” You pout a bit. “She’s five. Ro was surrendered by his family. His owner had a stroke and is in the hospital, and no one else in the family can take care of him. He’s 8.” 

“That’s sad.” Yeosang responds softly as he stands next to you, your own shoulder only inches away from his chest. “How long have they been here?”

“Piper’s been here for about a month, while Ro has been here for 4.” You show him to the other rooms down the aisle. “Sahara, Thor, Rocky, Storm, Bruce.” You continue to tell him their name, their ages, how long they’ve been here and for what reason. The remaining dogs are a mix of chihuahas, huskies and labrador mixes. Yeosang watches as you gently coo at the dogs when they come to their door, keeping your hand on the glass to provide some sort of comfort from the other end. He smiles a bit to himself when you baby the dogs. It’s incredibly cute and sweet, and it’s obvious just how much you love being here and how much this work means to you.

You continue to take him through the rest of the adoptable animals, earning small chuckles when you tell him some cute, funny stories about your time at the shelter. It’s then that you reveal you’ve always wanted to work with animals and that it’s still eventually your goal to climb up somehow. Maybe work at a more established vet or pet hospital. Aquarium, even. Anything that’ll keep you close to them will do. Yeosang doesn’t really question why you just don’t go for it yet— he’s more of a listener than a talker, and he understands that most people won’t divulge unless they’re ready to or feel comfortable enough to. So, as always, he lets it be. Listens to your soothing voice as you continue around the shelter before you’re doing one last walkthrough and making sure all water bowls are full. You head to the back once you’re done, reuniting Yeosang with his belongings.

“Thanks for showing me around.”

“Course.”

“Can I walk you home again?” You shut off the lights to the laundry room and head out the back door, slipping the key in to lock it up for the night.

“You sure? I still have to grab some dinner.” 

“I don’t mind. I want to.” He says, and it makes you smile. “Besides, the air feels really nice right now. I’m still a bit worked up from the gym session.” You laugh.

“It’s quite chilly tonight.” You shiver at the breeze that comes through. Yeosang digs through his duffle bag and pulls out the zip-up hoodie he wore over, handing it over to you.

“Here.”

“Oh, no. Yeosang, I’m fine, I don’t—” Before you know it, he’s unzipping the jacket and draping it over your shoulders. He avoids eye contact though, it’s easy to tell he doesn’t really do these things or that it’s out of his element. “Thank you.” You say softly, hoping to reassure his actions.

“You’re welcome.”

“I’m just gonna grab stuff from the convenience store.” You lead the way and skip along to the convenience store just down the street. “I won’t be long.”

“Take your time.” He follows you into the store anyway, watching as you happily grab some ramen and onigiri off the shelves. A hotdog. String cheese. Chocolate ice cream. 

“Need anything?”

“I’m good. I stocked up on some groceries so I should definitely put them to use and cook some meals.” 

“Share an ice cream with me at least?” You grab another chocolate ice cream from the freezer. 

“Sure.” You laugh as you bring your items to the cashier, helping bag the items before you’re finally out the door and indulging in your ice cream with Yeosang. You look at him again, eyeing the loose muscle tank he has on with his sweats. Ogling a tiny bit at his body through the tank.

“Good on you for keeping up with the gym while you’re away from home.” He chuckles.

“A stress reliever.”

“I bet. Jungkook goes to that gym often, pretty late though since he’s always at the restaurant.”

“Does he own the restaurant?”

“His family does. They pop in from time to time, but Jungkook has taken over for the most part.”

“I see. I’m guessing you’ve known them for awhile?” You smirk.

“Enough for me to be liked and hired.” 

“How long have you known Keeho and Mingi?”

“Mm, I’ve known all of them for a bit over 2 years. Mingi and Keeho were at the restaurant before me, but I just got close to them as I started there.”

“Where were you before that, if you don’t mind me asking?” You smile.

“Yeosang is interested in getting to know me?” He laughs a bit and shakes his head.

“I’m just curious, but you don’t have to share if you don’t wanna.”

“I was in school. Around. Getting my life together— well, still am I guess.”

“Hm.” He hums. “We’re not that far apart. I graduated 3 years ago.”

“What’d you graduate in, and where do you work?”

“Business. I work as a finance manager for a pharmaceutical company.”

“Woah, big shot.” He laughs shyly.

“No, not even.”

“Do you like it?” He shrugs.

“Yeah, I can’t complain. I’ve met my good friends there.”

“That’s always nice, isn’t it?” You look up with a toothless smile before eating more of your chocolate ice cream. “That’s always the best. I’m sure they miss you.”

“Ah, they’re doing alright. They can survive.” You nod.

“Hey, have you gone hiking yet at the falls?” He raises a brow.

“You guys have that here?” You snort.

“You’re funny. You’d have to go back to the outskirts to find the trail.” You start walking backwards to keep your eyes on him. “We should go one day, yeah? Maybe I can show you to other spots further in town.”

“Sure, if you don’t mind.”

“I don’t. I haven’t gone hiking in awhile and it’s perfect right now. The water is probably rushing through the cascades, making it all pretty and everything.”

“When are you free?”

“This weekend. I finally have it off after some months.”

“You’d be okay spending your free weekend showing me around?”

“I wouldn’t have offered at the restaurant if I didn’t want to.” You giggle and Yeosang feels his heart do some flips. Familiar with the unfamiliar— he hadn’t felt this in a long, long time. Though, he didn’t expect to feel it with a stranger he had bumped into on his little vacation away from home. Wasn’t even his goal and he didn’t mean to do so, but here he is. Going about every day growing more curious about you.

“Well, just remember this if you ever use it against me.” You laugh loudly and turn to start skipping ahead towards your building.

“I will.” You toss your empty ice cream container into the trash, with Yeosang following suit. “Thanks for walking me home again.” You unzip his jacket and hand it over to him. “I’m only a few steps away from warmth.” He gently takes his jacket back.

“No biggie. These walks help me get my steps in, but thanks for the ice cream? It’s like a reward.”

“Of course.” You give him another sweet smile, eyes locked onto his but it doesn’t make him the least bit uncomfortable. “At least stop by the restaurant tomorrow. Breakfast is good.” He gives you a small, reassuring smile; tugging on his bag strap before shifting his weight from one foot to another.

“I’ll take your word for it.”

“Goodnight, Yeosang.”

“Goodnight, Y/N.” He waits until you’ve slipped through the lobby door, turning on his heel with a small smile on his face, finding comfort in your presence that it feels a little difficult to walk away. He does walk away though because he finds himself uninteresting. Even if he stayed to hang out, how could he entertain you and keep you interested?

“Yeosang’s out there.” Jungkook nods towards the street, watching Yeosang finish up a run.

“I told him to come by for breakfast.” He smirks at you before setting the napkins into the holder on the table.

“Oh, you did now?”

“Jeon Jungkook.” You give him a look and he snorts.

“So, remind me again— you were or weren’t trying to get friendly on the dude?”

“It doesn’t hurt to have a friend while he’s around! I offered to show him further into town and take him on the hike.”

“Cute.” He laughs. “Make sure he doesn’t hurt you though, or else I’ll come with my spatula and shit.”

“Or, make sure this girl doesn’t go toying around with his feelings.” Keeho adds, sliding into the main dining area from the back. “Right?” Keeho looks at you and you roll your eyes.

“Not even.”

“What about that one dude that stayed here for a few months? You had a ‘lil fling with him before he ended up leaving cause he hated seeing you around after you rejected him.” Keeho puckers his lips. “Months of tussling in the bed ain’t give him nothing but heartbreak. Sheesh.”

“Okay, I didn’t plan for that to happen! And he was weirdly possessive even while we were messing around. I already told him I wasn’t looking for anything serious at the time.”

“She did tell him.” Jungkook shrugs. “And I do have to say, he was a little weird. Too clingy and needy. At the restaurant every hour. Couldn’t give Y/N space to breathe for someone who’s a fuckbuddy.”

“What about Keeho’s friend that visited? I forgot his name.” Mingi chimes in, helping himself to a bowl of breakfast.

“Don’t remind me, dude. He still cries about it.”

“So dramatic.” You cross your arms. “My bad for not wanting something serious during those times. You can’t say I didn’t tell them because I did.”

“Mm, but you were pretty harsh about it in the end, too. You blocked him on everything and acted like he didn’t exist. That’s why he still fucking cries about it.” You shake your head.

“What’re you planning with him?” Mingi cuts in as he watches Yeosang’s figure, still on his way towards the restaurant. “He genuinely looks like a good guy.”

“Why do I need to have a plan, Mingi?” You shoot him a look. “He’s cool. Just trying to be a good friend to him while he’s around.”

“Mhm. Won’t be surprised when you start batting those little eyelashes and twirling your hair in front of him. Go ahead then, bae.” Keeho smacks his lips together before walking off to tend to the customers that just walked in. When Yeosang finally arrives, he’s in a windbreaker and pants, his hair still beautifully parted and intact despite the small breeze outside. He looks incredibly ethereal for someone who had just gone on a run, and it almost makes you buckle at the knees the more you stare.

“Hey.” You break your thoughts and smile at him. “You made it!”

“Someone told me I could grab a good breakfast here.” You laugh and show him to a table, letting him get comfortable.

“Whoever it was, was right. How was your run?”

“A good long 3 miles.”

“You’re insane.” You snort. “Gym last night, 3 miles in the morning? You basically ran around town.” He laughs and shakes his head.

“I just needed to get my cardio in. Definitely didn’t enjoy it.”

“Well, do you have anything specific in mind for breakfast or can I surprise you?”

“A surprise sounds nice.”

“Got you.” You gently tap the table before heading to the back, putting in an order for today’s breakfast special. You fill up a glass full of freshly squeezed orange juice and take it to the table before dropping off food to the other customers. 

“Got a plate for your man.” Jungkook slides the breakfast special to you, making you chuckle.

“You’re a piece of shit. Thank you.” You raise the plate before sticking out your tongue and walking off to Yeosang again. “Enjoy.” You look at him with a small smile, watching his eyes light up at the food on the plate. He immediately digs in and nods happily, making you giggle at how cute he looks right now.

“Please tell Jungkook he’s an amazing cook.”

“Never. He’ll never let it go.” You laugh. “But sure, I’ll make sure to relay the message for you. Any other plans today?” He shakes his head.

“Not that I know of yet.” You nod, looking back at new customers that need assistance.

“Well. Let me know if you need help figuring it out.” You slide him a few napkins. “Sorry, I’ll be back to check on you later.” You rush over to the customers and greet them happily, they can’t help but smile and laugh along with you. Yeosang doesn’t mean to let his eyes linger for long, but he finds your energy captivating and he’s got a pull to you.

It doesn’t help that the restaurant gets quite busy during peak breakfast hours and you’re barely checking in on him. He feels a bit lonely, though he knows you’re at work and he shouldn’t expect to converse with you much.

“I’m so sorry, it just got really busy out of nowhere.” You pout a bit when you finally stop by to grab his empty plate. “Can I get you anything else?” He shakes his head.

“Don’t worry, Y/N.” He chuckles. “I’m all good.” You rush over to drop his empty dishes in the dirty pile, grabbing his check to hand over.

“I’ll see you around?” You give him a smile before you run off again, leaving him to take the check to Mingi at the front.

“Enjoy your breakfast?” Yeo nods.

“Yeah, it was great.”

“Any other plans for the day?”

“Nah, not yet. Probably hang out at the beach tonight, figure out the rest later.”

“That’s always a good one. Get Y/N to go with you. She’s usually out there at night from time to time.”

“Oh, really? Doing what?”

“Just to chill. She also tries to collect shells, but I swear, they’re all the same out there. I don’t know what else she wants.” Mingi shakes his head. “Anyway, see you next time, my guy.”

“Sounds good.” Yeosang slips a tip into the tip jar before heading back out to his humble abode. When he gets back, he takes a good shower and plops onto the bed in a new change of clothes. He pulls up the game on his phone to play for a bit before researching a few more things to do in the coming weeks. But, he isn’t sure what’s worth visiting and what’s worth passing on. Then, he falls asleep for a good hour or so [maybe nearing 2] before he gets up and decides to stop being boring. He’ll explore around the other end of town, see what places are around and what scenic views he can take pictures of. Then.. what?

He remembers he still has your number in his jacket, and he’s considering taking up the offer of letting you show him around [or at the very least, guide him to places he should visit]. When he gets back from his trek around the opposite end of town with a few goodies in hand, he realizes it’ll be dinner soon and that he should really decide on what to do tonight. He whips the number out of his jacket pocket and stares at it for a good while, wondering if he should just say fuck it and text you.

Yeah, well. Fuck it. What does he have to lose at this point?

[unknown number]: hey, it’s yeosang 

[you]: hey you ☺️ you’re actually putting my number to use?! lol

[yeosang]: lol yeah sorry, i just don’t really wanna be a bother to anyone

[you]: you aren’t! how can i help? 

[yeosang]: if you’re free.. i was wondering if you’d like to hang out at the beach?

[yeosang]: also don’t feel obligated, i just thought it’d be nice cause the weather .. and i haven’t really had the chance to hang out there 

[yeosang]: plus.. i don’t know any other places just yet..

[yeosang]:i’m rambling lol i'm sorry

[you]: nooooo you’re not! i’d love to join! i can meet you near the paddleboard rentals? i’ll bring some food!

[yeosang]: you don’t have to bring food!

[you]: i want to! i’ll be there in 30 mins.

[yeosang]: sounds good!

Yeosang smiles to himself as he goes through the fridge and kitchen to see if there’s anything he can bring. He does have an unopened soju bottle that he decides on bringing, in case you wanted to have a drink with him while eating good food. Plus, water. Can’t go wrong with water. And he’s glad he did because when he finally sees you near the paddleboard rentals, you’re hauling food on food on food.

“Why’d you bring so much food?” Yeo laughs as he watches you roll out the blanket for you two to sit on. You take the initiative to sit down and pat the space next to you. Yeosang gently places the food down in front of you before sticking the soju bottle into the sand to keep it standing upright.

“I just wanted to make sure we had enough!” You pop open the tupperwares of ramen and side dishes, handing Yeosang a small plate for him to use. “You brought soju! I love this one!”

“Does that give me brownie points?” You laugh.

“Yeah, it does. Mind if I open it?”

“Go for it.” You pop open the soju and pour some for both you and Yeosang in the paper cups you have. “Cheers!” You tap your cup against his before you both take the shots to the next, instantly feeling the warmth run down your throat and into your tummy. “What else did you do today?”

“Nothing besides walk down the opposite end of town.”

“Like actually?”

“I don’t really know where to go, so I was gonna wait for you to show me and tell me.” You playfully gasp.

“Finally using little ol me for more help?!”

“Unless you take it back, then fine whatever.. I’ll get around.” He pretends to act upset.

“Never.” You giggle and pour another shot. “Of course. First, we gotta tackle that hike. I’ll send you some places too over text so you can check them out when you have time.”

“You won’t come along?” You smile at him and hand his cup.

“I wish I could, but you know, work. The shelter. Helping around town.”

“Right..” Yeosang nods, silently tapping his cup against yours before taking the shot. The sun finally rests below the horizon and you and Yeosang are still talking about town and the little things here and there. You find that it’s really easy to talk to him, even if he doesn’t chime in much. He listens, and he can admit your voice is always nice to hear. The both of you indulge in the food in between sipping on the soju and discussing random things you both like and dislike.

At some point, there’s a pause in the conversation, and you’re just looking out at the sea, the night sky.

Yeosang is taking pictures of his surroundings and he turns his camera your way. He decides to ask for permission first before snapping a photo you don’t even wanna be in.

“I’m just taking pictures. Are you okay with that?” You laugh at how cutely awkward the question comes out of his mouth.

“No worries, I don’t mind. Should I pose or act natural? Candid?”

“Just do whatever feels natural.” He says, snapping a photo of you looking out at the view. “I promised my bestfriend I’d take photos even though I usually don’t.”

“Your bestfriend, hm?”

“Yeah. His name is Wooyoung, and he’s a level 10 pain in the ass. He’s definitely gonna ask to see them. If not, maybe my parents.”

“Cute. I agree with Wooyoung. Do it for the memories.” 

“Taking his side already and you haven’t even met him.”

“I just agree, okay.” You laugh before leaving a pause in the conversation again. “It’s nice that you seem close with your parents.” You blurt all of a sudden, making Yeosang turn to you as you continue to look out at the water.

“I mean, we’re okay. We aren’t perfect.” He adds. “Why do you say that? Are you not close to yours?” He realizes he’s never really heard you talk about your family like that, nor has he even tried to ask. To be honest, he just doesn’t want to be in your business and make you uncomfortable. But, you seemed to open up first tonight, so he’ll continue to go with it.

“No.” You let out a tiny, pathetic chuckle before shaking your head. “They keep trying to force their own plans and dreams on me. Trying to make me something I’m not.”

“I’m sorry. When was the last time you talked to them?”

“They still try to text or call from time to time but I don’t respond.”

“I’m assuming they don’t know you’re here.” Yeosang catches on quick. He won’t judge though, he gets it. Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do to find some peace. Ain’t the easiest decisions, but worth it for that moment of clarity and calmness.

“No, they don’t. They keep trying to figure it out, but over time, they’ve kinda learned to just let me be. We had a really bad fight before I upped and left.”

“Does anyone know you’re here?”

“My cousin. He’s the closest thing I’ve had to a little brother.”

“That’s good, at least. He checks up on you?”

“He does.” You turn to Yeosang and give him a toothless smile.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what were your parents trying to force on you?”

“I come from a strong, scientific and medical family. If they’re not doctors or nurses, they’re working in research with advanced degrees.”

“Oof.” Yeosang audibly says and you giggle. “Your mom and dad?”

“My dad is a neurosurgeon and my mom is a nurse.”

“Okay, well. I see they’d have big fucking expectations.”

“You think?” You laugh.

“And you wanna work with animals, right?” 

“I do. I’ve always wanted take care of animals. Be around them. Maybe work in a vet. Aquarium? Sanctuary? Idk what or where exactly.”

“Makes sense.” He nods, realizing why you’re so passionate about the shelter and the work you do there. “I mean, that’s kinda close, no? Animals are technically considered science or.. related.” Yeosang shrugs.

“Mm, they don’t look at it that way, though. I either have to be a nurse or doctor. Or a professor, or researcher, with a PhD in hand. Or else I got a kiddy job.” You chuckle. “Oh well. Maybe one day they’ll accept that I’m just different from them.”

“They will. I know it’s not really my place to say this but I’m sure they’re realizing and they miss you.”

“Yeah.” Is all you say. “Can I ask you something a little more personal?”

“Uh, sure. I don’t do nudes, though.” You playfully punch him on the bicep.

“No, you idiot.” You laugh. “Are you dating someone? Or well, I guess you would’ve come here with them if you were, right? I dunno. Maybe you needed space from them, too.” You shake off the thoughts to let him answer. Cute, he thinks. 

“No, I’m not.” 

“Interesting.”

“Okay, now why do you say that?”

“I don’t know, you’re good looking as hell?” He laughs.

“Thanks.” You can see him shying away from the compliment, smiling down at the sand and biting his lip from letting it grow too big. “I haven’t dated since college. My ex and I broke up after graduation because we were just busy and living two different lives. No bad blood, though.” You nod.

“You haven’t had any flings or like, hookups? One night stands?”

“No. Well.” He pauses. “I take that back. I have, but they never lasted for long. I— uh, I have a hard time doing that cause I’m someone who likes to be emotionally invested, too. I don’t know how people do it without letting emotions get involved.”

“That’s valid. I won’t argue with that.” You sip on your water. “What about at work?”

“What do you mean at work?”

“You haven’t dated anyone from work?”

“God, no. Do you know how messy that sounds?” You snort.

“My bad. You’re right.”

“I think.. one of my good friends has feelings for me, though.” 

“So, why not go for it?” He looks at you for a second while he thinks about his response, then turns to the sky.

“Honestly, I just don’t see her that way. I tried to see where it’d go, don’t get me wrong. But, we’re good as friends. I don’t wanna ruin that and I especially don’t wanna hurt her.”

“You’re sweet.”

“Am I? I feel terrible because I feel like I’m already hurting her.”

“How so? It’s not like you two decided on anything, right?” He shakes his head.

“No. She doesn’t do anything to make me uncomfortable or force anything. But since it’s not something we’ve talked about, I almost feel like she thinks that window will always be open. Like she’ll have a chance eventually. I just can’t see her like that, though. Really.” He lets out a breath. “Sorry, I probably sound like a broken record?”

“Stop apologizing, Yeosang. You don’t. I like hearing you talk.” You smile. “If it makes you feel better, you’re not an asshole and you’re not hurting her. You won’t. Most guys won’t even take the time to think about things like this. The time will come when you two have to address it, and I know you’ll be honest about it. It’ll probably sting for her, but I’m sure she’ll be grateful and it’ll be more than what she can ask for. Instead of you leading her on and actually making her think she has a chance, you know?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Cut yourself some slack.” You nudge him a bit.

“What about you?”

“Relationships?” He nods. “Uh, well. My ex and I broke up and it was pretty nasty. Other than that, I’ve had the unserious, young love high school relationship.”

“When did you guys break up?”

“Mm. Let’s just say it wasn’t too, too long ago.” You look down at your hands. “Yeah, it was not pretty.” He can tell you’re not willing to open up about this part of your life, and that’s okay. Maybe one day, before he leaves, you’ll confide in him about it. He can only hope you are okay. You wanna say that it was just right after graduation, though. You wanna tell Yeosang that not only did you feel like you were losing your parents, but your relationship, too. You wanna tell him he was a fucking cheater and treated you like shit, too. You ran here because of him and your family. You ran because it was the easiest thing to do to get away from the pain and hurt, the betrayal. But, you keep silent. Yeosang is becoming someone you enjoy. You like his company and you don’t wanna scare him off with your silly problems, and your trust and self-esteem issues. 

“Does it still bother you?” You shake your head.

“Not at all.” You lie. Because yes, it does. It still hurts, and you still don’t understand what you did wrong. The only thing that’s different now is that you’ve managed to put a cap on it and continue on with your life hoping one day, someone will see your worth.

“Good. Whatever happened, hope you know it wasn’t your fault and your ex was a piece of shit.” You laugh loudly and push him teasingly.

“How would you even know it was his fault, hm? What if it was me?!”

“I don’t know if it’s his fault but he still played a part in it, so I stand by what I said.” You giggle.

“You’re funny.”

“Glad you at least think so.” He smiles at you, and lets his eyes linger for a little longer than usual. The moonlight is hitting you perfectly at all angles and Yeosang can’t help but think about how fucking pretty you are. So much for going solo on this trip. He might just be tipsy, but he’s actually looking forward to spending more time with you. A fresh face to get to know and hang out with. Someone equally intriguing and personable. Yeosang knows you’ll be a problem for him and he doesn’t care to look at the consequences right at this moment.

“What?” You look at him and he snorts.

“Nothing.”

“What? Do I have something on my face?!” He laughs.

“No, no. It’s not that.”

“Then, what?! You’re making me shy.” He shakes his head.

“You’re pretty.” He clears his throat. “I mean, t-the moonlight. It looks pretty on you.”

“Well, thanks.” You giggle. “The moonlight looks pretty on you, too.” You lick your lips. “So, the hike this weekend. Wanna meet up at my apartment around 6am?”

“6am?!” Yeosang’s tone raises. “Jesus Christ. Why so early?”

“Unless you wanna hike underneath the afternoon sun and die?!”

“Okay, point taken.”

“Yeah, exactly.”

“6am it is, then.”

“Jeez, contain your excitement or something.” You tease, continuing to eat at your plate. “Hey. What’s your last name?”

“Kang. Kang Yeosang.”

“That’s a nice name.”

“And yours?”

“Y/L/N.”

“Pretty.” He mutters. You’re having to break contact first, beginning to clean up the mess around you to distract yourself from Yeosang.

“Anyway, all good?” You finish your food and point at the nearly empty containers of food still sitting around.

“Mhm. Thank you. Can I repay you for the food?”

“No, I offered, silly. It didn’t take me long to make.”

“You sure?”

“Positive. Let me get this cleaned up. I wanna head out to the water before we go.” Yeosang quietly helps you clean up and pack the tupperwares into the bag before rolling up your blanket. You set it aside before stepping closer to the water, Yeosang trailing behind as he watches you crouch down and pick at the sand. 

“What’re you doing, Y/N?” He asks with a small chuckle.

“There’s a crab. He’s trying to get into his new shell.” He watches as you help the hermit crab inhabit a new shell and he thinks it’s the cutest fucking thing he’s ever seen in such a long time. “All good!” You watch as the hermit crab waddles away in its new home before picking up another shell nearby. “Isn’t it pretty?” You show him.

“It is.”

“Thanks for inviting me to hang out.” You walk back to towards your stuff, Yeosang walking alongside of you as you head towards your apartment. “You do know you don’t have to walk me, right?”

“Y/N, I told you it was fine. If you didn’t want me around, you could’ve just said so.” You snort.

“Dramatic.”

“Ouch.” He laughs.

“Here.” You hand him the shell. “Your first souvenir, chosen by yours truly.”

“Thank you.” He takes the shell and sticks it in his pocket. “I’ll make sure to take good care of it.” 

“Good. I trust you.” 

“Working tomorrow, I assume?” You nod.

“You should paddleboard tomorrow. Keeho’s off, he’ll probably be out there.”

“Yeah, might check it out.” The rest of the walk home falls into a comfortable silence, but you don’t mind it one bit. Yeosang does his usual of giving you space when you arrive at the lobby door, fishing for your keys before you say your usual goodnights. He waits until you walk down the hall to your apartment, feeling good enough to walk away and head back to his for the night; already looking forward to spending more time with you on the weekend.

Yeosang meets you at the front of your building at 6am on the dot and he has cups of iced coffee in hand. You thank him as you grab a cup and call for a taxi to bring you to the outskirts of town, you and Yeosang already engaging in a lively conversation for 6am in the morning.

The hike surprisingly isn’t bad. Yeosang keeps close to you, hyping you up when you get tired of climbing those damn hills and needing to take a quick break. In between taking in the scenery, you both snap photos on your phone or your polaroid camera— showing Yeosang the pictures as soon as they develop. You ask him to take a picture with you that turns out cute; the both of you making silly poses before Yeosang takes the camera and shoots solo shots of you. The hike is fun; it’s full of easy conversation, lots of laughs and good vibes with Yeosang. It almost feels like you’ve known Yeosang for years with how quick you two clicked. Might’ve taken a little warming up for Yeo, but he swears there isn’t anyone who has ever pulled him out of his shell this fast [and naturally], too. The hike takes close to 3 hours with all the pauses and stops in between, and by the time you get back down to the starting point, it’s still pretty early in the day. The taxi drops you off at the front if your building and Yeosang lingers behind while you fish for your keys per usual.

“Uh, I’m gross and sweaty. How about I shower, grab some food and come back?” Yeosang asks shyly, hand scratching at the nape of his neck.

“Okay then.” You show him the code box near the lobby door. “You can press Apt #2 and I’ll be able to buzz you in. My apartment is just down that hall.”

“I’ll be back.”

“Hurry up. I hate being alone.” You tease and he blushes before licking his lips and nodding.

“I won’t take long.” You smile before walking in and parting ways with Yeosang. When you get inside your studio, you toss your things aside and step into a piping hot shower to ease your muscles. You take a good, long 30-minute shower, using your favorite coconut scrub and massaging it onto your skin before you wrap up and step out. You lotion up using the same brand as your scrub, throwing on a crewneck and shorts. You tidy up around the house, fluffing up the pillows and folding the extra blankets neatly onto the couch. By the time Yeosang is asking to be buzzed in, it’s about an hour and a half since he initially left you. 

“Hey.” He says, stepping into your studio and immediately kicking off his shoes. His eyes roam around your space, slowly walking into the kitchen to set down the bags in his hands. “Cute. The space is very.. you.”

“Why, thank you.” You do a curt bow before helping him unpack the bags. “What’d you get?”

“Bibimbap. And other snacks.” You fish out some ice cream from the side of the bag and laugh.

“Even ice cream?”

“You like melona bars, right? Please tell me you do.”

“I do. I actually really like this one.” You hold up the honeydew Melona box.

“Yessss.” He says. “More brownie points for Kang Yeosang.” You laugh, helping him carry the food to the table in the living room. You pour some water for the both of you, setting it near your bowls before getting comfortable next to him. You flip through your TV, settling for Warm Bodies that is randomly playing on one of the channels. Yeosang starts to talk about his own zombie apocalypse scenario, laying down his plans and what he’d do to survive.

“You know that game, right? The Last of Us? Like that. I probably would wanna keep it moving instead of staying stationary in one spot.”

“Oh my god.” You roll your eyes and laugh.

“What? Don’t you think about these things?”

“No!”

“You should. What’re you gonna do if you wake up tomorrow morning and the zombies have taken over?”

“I’ll stick with you.”

“What if I don’t want you with me?” You playfully punch him on the bicep and he lets out a small ‘ah’ at the contact.

“You punk, you’re so mean. I’d be useful and you’d be missing out!”

“Okay, so tell me how.”

“I just will be! I know a thing or two about boxing and muay thai! And-and, I can cook. I can make us some good shelter. I can clean weapons.”

“You’ve done boxing and muay thai?” You nod. 

“Back when I was at home, yeah.”

“Hot.”

“You’re an idiot.” You laugh. “So you want me on your team now?!”

“Yeah, just to see your boxing and muay thai moves.”

“Well, I’m not so sure I wanna be on your team anymore.”

“Fine.” Yeosang says, setting his empty plate aside. “Suit yourself.” You giggle as you run into the freezer and grab some of the ice cream for you and Yeo to chomp on.

“Hey.”

“Mm?” You turn to him with your melona bar in hand.

“Do your friends have nicknames for you?”

“They just call me Yeo.”

“Hm.” You hum. “Can I call you Sangie?”

“Sangie?” He looks at you with a slightly disgusted expression.

“Please? I don’t wanna just call you Yeo.” He looks at you and you catch the way his eyes dart from yours, down to your lips, then back up to meet your eyes. His expression softens and he lets out a small sigh before shaking his head in disbelief.

“Fine.” You squeal. “Don’t overdo it though, please. For the love of God.”

“I won’t, Sangie.” You tease and he squints at you.

“You’re lucky you’re cute.” You try to playfully hit him but he catches your hand in his, not letting go until you use all your power to release it from his death hold. He laughs as you pout and whine, Yeosang pinching your cheeks as a way to test the waters of being more affectionate and closer to you.

Once you finish eating your ice cream, Yeosang helps you clean up before pushing the table aside so that you two can lay comfortably in the living room floor. You find yourself getting sleepy from the hike and all the food Yeosang brought over, that you curl up into your blanket beside him while he continues to watch. He looks down and chuckles to himself, hearing soft snores coming from beneath the blanket. Sooner or later, Yeosang finds his eyes getting heavier, sinking into his position more as he gets sleepier. Yeosang follows suit and ends up falling asleep, laying flat on his back next to you with his hand lazily on his stomach. Over time, you unknowingly get wrapped up in each other’s arms. At one moment, you’re tucked underneath Yeosang’s chin. The next, your back is pressed against him while he has an arm over you. But even when you stir in your sleep and pop your eyes open for a quick second, none of it feels weird to you. You like being close to him.

Unknowingly watching new paths unfold right in front of you. Shit is crazy.

Your phone rings and you’re popping your head up to see who could possibly be calling and waking you up from your nap. Though you move to quickly grab the phone and peek at the caller ID, Yeo doesn’t do much to move away or give you space. Instead, he continues to keep an arm around you. He kinda likes that you haven’t rejected his little acts of affection and that you’ve been reciprocating in one way or another. It makes him feel more comfortable around you, and it makes him feel like he’s not the only one feeling the way that he feels. Hopefully, you see it too.

“Hold on, sorry.” You grab your phone and answer the call, sitting up as Yeosang continues to quietly lay next to you; arm loosely hanging over your legs. “Hey.”

“Yo.” Your cousin, Jeongin, greets you on the other line. “Sorry, I meant to call you earlier but I got busy.”

“All good.” You chuckle. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah. Guess what?”

“Hm?” You hum, your finger tracing the veins on Yeosang’s arm.

“I got an internship at one of the companies I applied for!” You squeal.

“Oh my god, congrats! I knew you would! When do you start?”

“Probably beginning of next month? I need to get through all of my paperwork and health clearances first. It’s gonna take awhile, but by next month for sure.”

“Yay! That’s awesome, Innie! I’m so proud of you!”

“Thanks. I’m proud of me, too.” You snort.

“Okay, champ.”

“Hey, how’s everything down there, by the way?”

“Good.” You pause and Jeongin laughs. 

“Just good? What have you been up to?”

“Working, hanging out.”

“Uh huh.” He laughs. “You were supposed to tell me more about that visitor that came to town?” You look at Yeosang who is now looking up at you with curious eyes.

“Um, I’ll have to tell you another time.”

“Why? Is he with you right now?”

“Yeah.”

“Just.. you two?”

“Mhm.” Yeosang can obviously tell the topic has turned to him, and he can’t help but chuckle a bit at how shy and quiet you’re trying to be. Even though he's literally laying next to you with his arm sprawled across your lap.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt anything.” He smiles through the phone. “He better be good to you or else I’ll fight him.”

“Please, I don’t think you have to worry about that.”

“Right.” Jeongin smiles. Your cousin was always going to protect you and be there for you, especially after all the shit you’ve been through. All the hurt you’ve experienced. He couldn’t help but feel overprotective over you, and he couldn’t help but worry about you. And yeah, if this ever turned to anything, it would take awhile for Jeongin to trust them. He’s seen people fuck you over time and time again that he no longer just sit back and be too relaxed about people who come into your life. He’s seen you cry way more times than he’d like to count.

“By the way.” He clears his throat. “Your mom said hi. She said she misses you but hopes you’re well.” You swallow the lump in your throat, licking your lips when your mouth suddenly feels dry. Yeosang catches onto the mood switch— watching as your smile drops, your hand now retracting from his arm and curling up against your lap.

“Oh. Uh, tell her I said hi, too.” Jeongin sighs.

“Your parents really miss you, you know?”

“Well.” Is all you can say.

“At least call or text your mom? She worries about you every day.”

“Then maybe she should have backed me up when dad was saying all those things about me. Like oh, you know, how worthless I am.” 

“They should’ve known better, and they shouldn’t have done that. You don’t have to forgive them for it, but give her some peace of mind. She’s still your mom.”

“Oh, Innie. Can never get anything past you.”

“I’m just saying.” He chuckles. “Please? Just text her soon. Doesn’t have to be long.”

“We’ll see.”

“Anyway, I won’t keep you long. Just wanted to check in and tell you the good news. Hope you and your new man are having a good evening together.”

“He—I—” You pause and let out a breath. “That’s not exactly it but okay, yes we are.” Jeongin laughs louder.

“Alright. I’ll talk to you later? Text or call me if anything.”

“I know. You too.”

“Love you!” He says in a sing-song tone.

“Love you, too.” And with that, the call ends. You always hate getting off the phone with your cousin because it makes you miss home more than you’d like to admit. You would go home just to spend time with him like you used to, but the memories, the thoughts of your parents, all seem to be overbearing and make you regret even having the thought in the first place. You do miss him, a lot though. Since graduating, he had been busy trying to get into the workforce just like your family had pressured him into doing; applying for internships left and right to gain some experience before applying to graduate school. So, he hadn’t been able to visit like he planned to. Maybe one day you’ll be able to look past it and come home.

“Sorry.” You look at Yeosang, who is now stretching and sitting up next to you. “My cousin.”

“All good.” He grabs his water from the table and sits back down next to you. “You okay?”

“Uh, yeah. I think so.”

“Your parents?” Is all Yeo says, hoping he isn’t poking too far into details and making you uncomfortable.

“Oh yeah.” You pathetically chuckle. “We’ve gotten into a lot of arguments before I left, that’s all. He was telling me my mom missed me and that I should at least try to text her that I’m doing okay.”

“I know it’s not easy but.. you should.” He says softly while turning his attention back to you. You maintain eye contact, catching his eyes quickly shoot down to your lips then back up to your eyes again. It makes you feel butterflies when he looks at you the way that he does, and it makes you wanna crawl back into your shell and hide. You look down and fiddle with your fingers, hoping it could distract you somehow.

“I dunno. I think I’m still having trouble letting go of what happened between us.”

“Mm.” He hums. “Do you miss them, though?”

“Mm, yeah.” You respond, close to a whisper. “It’ll always suck that our relationship isn’t what it used to be.”

“Whenever you’re ready, you should. Take your time with it, though.”

“Thanks.” You look up and give him a small smile. You quickly check the time, noticing dinner is approaching. “If you wanna stay for a little longer, I can whip up some dinner?”

“Sure.” He chuckles. “Can’t turn down a home cooked meal.”

“Of course.” You laugh, getting up from your seat.

“I mean, it’s a bonus that you’re cooking it.”

“Kang Yeosang, please. No need to save yourself.” You go through the stuff in the fridge, figuring out what to whip for dinner. “Are you a picky eater?”

“Nope.” He rests his head back against the edge of the couch.

“Good. You can change the channel, by the way.” You giggle, grabbing the ingredients from the fridge and setting up the pot on the stove. Yeosang flips the channel to the baseball game that’s happening in the city tonight, cheering along whenever they hit a home run. You laugh from the kitchen, asking him what sports he likes to indulge in and if him and his father went to games often. He replies that they have, and that baseball and soccer are more of their thing than anything else. It’s cute, really. Super endearing. It kinda reminds you of the times when you were younger and your dad would bring you to baseball games. It feels like such a distant and far memory. Like it never even happened, almost. That’s how much things have changed over the years. Your relationship with your dad hasn’t felt the same.

Once you’ve finished whipping up the tteokmanduguk, you bring the pot over to the coffee table, along with two small bowls and utensils. Yeosang grabs more water for you two and some beer for himself before settling next to you and indulging in another movie for the night. You tell him that you and your friends are gonna have a movie night soon, and that he should join along. There’s also a party that Jungkook is planning to host at one of the nearby bars. Yeosang agrees simply by telling you he’s down to go wherever you are since, after all, you are his self-proclaimed tour guide. You laugh it off even though deep down, it makes you feel giddy and happy he’d come along.

When dinner comes to an end, Yeosang does a lot to help you clean up around the living room and in the kitchen. He offers to wash your dishes while stacking them onto the dish rack, cleaning around your stove and coffee table to make sure it’s in pristine condition. It’s about that time that he calls it a night, but he truly is hating to do so. Because when he leaves, you feel sad. And he does, too. He’s starting to hate the feeling of going separate ways and he’s not even sure how you were able to make him feel that way so quickly. You walk him to the door and thank him again for his company before Yeosang does the same and tells you how much he really enjoyed spending time with you today. You tippytoe to give him a quick kiss to the cheek, and Yeosang instantly smiles. It gives you butterflies how he responds, but you leave it at that— not too overwhelm him or do too much.

But at the end of his first full week in town, Yeosang finds himself utterly smitten with you, drowning in pure adoration for someone he met on a whim. The hike was what did it for him, watching as you were so carefree and comfortable around him— that being the exact thing that pulled him out of his shell entirely. He hadn’t genuinely enjoyed himself this much in awhile, laughing during most of the hike and feeling excited about exploring town with you. You even understand his humor and Yeosang thinks it’s so, so nice to be comfortable in his own skin and personality around you.

If he had to lay out what his ideal type was, it’d literally be you. Because you check off all the boxes, and it’s so fucking surreal that Yeosang is looking at you right in the face, seeing you in the flesh. It’s so unexpected, but it’s the best thing he’s come across in a long time. Unexpected and quick, but the best.

“Goodnight.” You smile and lean your head against the door frame. “I’ll see you tomorrow, maybe?” You take a few tiny steps back.

“Mhm.” It seems like Yeosang had other plans because he gently grabs you by the wrist and tugs you back; immediately cupping your cheeks and bringing his lips to yours. He holds the kiss there, thumb subtly caressing at your right cheek, before he slightly pulls away and looks at you. “Goodnight, Y/N.”

This is the moment that changed everything for him and he didn’t even realize it at the time. 

And he means everything.

From that moment, your days consisted of spending time with Yeosang in one form or another. Whether it be after your shift at the restaurant, waiting after you were done at the shelter to go shop at the tiny outdoor mall nearby, hanging out at the beach with your friends or being together at each other’s places— Yeosang was there. He’s even become acquainted with more people around town with your help, accompanying a few of the elderly neighbors to their appointments nearby, helping carry loads and loads of heavy packages into restaurants or buckets of fish into the fish market, playing around with the kids running around. Yeosang was there.

If you had come to town and met him, you would’ve never known he was a visitor himself. You loved that he blended in well, though. You loved that he seemed to be happier and more comfortable, and you hope this is everything he had wished for in a peaceful, relaxing vacation. When the month comes to an end, you’re honestly not sure what you’ll do or how you’ll feel. Yeosang has become a part of your days, the town, so easily in such a short amount of time that you already feel empty just thinking about it. But, those are problems for future Y/N. Present Y/N isn’t gonna trip about it right now. Instead, focus on the now. Having him here, seeing him in the flesh and being able to keep him near. 

“So, are we picking up your man?” Mingi hops in the driver’s seat, with Keeho in the passenger's seat. You and your other friend Mina sit in the back, with Mina nudging you in the arm. Jungkook had a few things to close out at the shop, telling the group he’d meet at Mingi and Keeho’s shared place in a few.

“I can’t wait to see him!” She squeals. Mina was another one of your good friends from town, but she too had been away and just got back home. You, Keeho, Mingi and Jungkook kept her up to date as possible, with Mina the most excited to meet Yeosang and see who had been occupying your time these days. 

“Yes, please. He’s ready.” You tell Mingi the address. 

“She’s not even denying the phrase anymore. Must really be her man now.” Keeho adds, making Mina smack him on the neck from behind.

“Mind your business, she’s happy!”

“I never even said it was wrong?! I’m glad you’re happy Y/N, seriously. Shit, Mina.” He turns to her and rolls his eyes.

“You two look like you’ve known each other for years. It is pretty cute.” Mingi adds as he continues to keep his eyes on the road. Over this time, you and Yeosang had gotten quite affectionate with each other. A lot of it behind doors, but still pretty obvious around other people. It was the hand on the small of your back or hips. Hands grazing or pinkies holding onto each other. Whispers in each other’s ears. The flirty smiles and blushing. Yeosang’s arm over your shoulder. The playful hugs. Behind doors, there were a lot of little kisses on the cheek. The lips. Just enough to want more of each other but still afraid to cross those lines and ask for too much. But god, did Yeosang find it hard to keep his composure around you. He wanted you.

When you arrive at the front of Yeosang’s studio, he’s just stepped out of his door. He’s comfortably in matching sweats and a hoodie, a small smile painted on his face when he sees your head hanging out the window. “Hey!” You smile at him and Yeosang almost buckles at the fucking knees.

“Get your big ass head back in the car, Y/N. My neck is cold!” Keeho laughs.

“Fuck you!” 

“Let me put up the window!” Keeho whines.

“Sup.” He says, giving Keeho a dap before waving at Mingi as he approaches the car.

“Oh my god, he’s so fucking handsome.” Mina says behind you, tugging on your shirt. “What the fuck! Where can I find one!”

“Sh!” You shush her while laughing and settling back in your seat. Yeosang slips in next to you and immediately looks at you with a soft expression.

“Hey.” He says before shifting his attention to Mina, who is currently leaning over you to get a better look at him.

“Hi! I’m Mina! We haven’t met yet cause I just got back from vacation.” She holds out her hand and shakes his hand firmly before giggling. 

“Nice to meet you. I’m Yeosang.”

“What a catch.” Mina says in your ear, causing the heat to rise to your cheeks.

“Did you eat? Cause these assholes don’t know how to cook.” You look at him and he chuckles.

“Yeah, I did.”

“We have chips and shit! Plus, Kook said he’s gonna bring some chicken or whatever.”

“How was work and the shelter today?” 

“Good, kinda busy. Ro got adopted!”

“That’s great! What else happened?”

“Nothing. The usual.” You shrug and Yeosang nods, his hand coming to rest on your thigh. “What’d you do today?”

“Uh, go to the gym. Checked out those places you sent me the other day.” 

“Oh nice! Did you eat at Mom’s Kitchen?” He nods.

“It’s so good.”

“Isn’t it?!” Mina catches sight of Yeosang’s hand on your thigh and she begins to subtly nudge your arm, in which you nudge back. The ride is somewhat quiet, with the occasional bickering in between you, Mingi, Keeho and Mina. Yeosang laughs next to you, thoroughly enjoying the chemistry between your friends as it reminds him of his own. He does miss his friends, but it’s nice to be around fresh faces. New energy.

“So, what are we putting on first?” Mingi sets the grocery bags down on their kitchen counter, taking the chips and candy out for everyone to help themselves to.

“Girl in the Picture!” Mingi groans when he hears your response and Keeho’s immediate agreement.

“Oh my fucking god, can you please? Let’s watch something else!” Mingi scolds you. “All Y/N and Keeho do is watch true crime shit and talk about it for days on end.” He turns to Yeosang with the complaint, but all Yeosang can do is smile and laugh it off.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Tall and Bland? Sometimes, it’s good to be educated and aware, especially in today’s world.” Keeho shakes his head. “Anyway, back to putting this shit on.” You snort, watching as Keeho puts on Girl in the Picture. At this point, Jungkook walks in and kicks off his shoes, setting a large tray of chicken wings onto the table, along with its included side dishes.

“Here. Eat up.”

“Oh shit.” Mingi says, immediately piling a good amount of chicken onto his paper plate.

“Don’t be stingy!” Jungkook calls to Yeosang. “Yeo, come and get something to eat before these two big-backs take it all.”

“I know you aren’t talking about me cause I’m sitting right here.” Keeho chimes in while scrolling through his phone.

“You don’t wanna eat more?” Yeo shakes his head.

“I’m good, thank you though!” He directs his thank you’s to the boys for providing food. You and Mina grab some chips and candy before you settle back onto your seats— Mina on the floor near the loveseat, Mingi sprawled on the couch, Keeho near one end of the couch on the floor, and you and Yeosang on the opposite end on the floor.

“You guys don’t ever get creeped out by this shit?” Jungkook plops onto the loveseat, letting his left leg dangle off the arm of the couch while he sits in a weird position.

“I do, but it’s also interesting to learn about these cases. Truthfully, I wouldn’t know these even happened without the content we get on them.”

“Okay, I can get with that.” Jungkook adds, still chomping on his m&ms. You snuggle against Yeosang while you two sit closely, his arm draped around your shoulders while he props a leg up. 

“Didn’t know you were into true crime like that.” Yeosang chuckles.

“It’s just interesting.” You look at him with a brow raised. “Are you making fun of me?”

“What, no?” He smiles. “Just mentally adding it my list of all the things you like.”

“You’re keeping track?”

“If I say no?” He teases, making you gently pinch him on the side before returning your attention to the documentary. 

“Mean.”

“Well, for the record. I am.” He says lowly by your ear before pressing a light kiss to the side of your head, causing the heat to rise to your cheeks and a small smile to tug at the corners of your lips. You giggle overhearing Jungkook complain about the many layers this case already has in the first half, while Keeho is having to pause the documentary a few times to explain what’s actually going on. You chime in to back him up, only pressing play when the others have finally gotten on the same page. Yeosang chuckles to himself seeing the chaotic bickering occur again, all while enjoying having you snuggled underneath his arm. When the documentary comes to a close, Mingi suggests putting on Skinamarink as the next movie. 

“Listen, it’s a different horror film! It’s experimental. Two kids wake up and their dad is legit missing outta nowhere. You never see the characters fully in frame, but it’s obvious something is wrong. You just hear things. Like them whispering or the cartoons playing. The trailer was so fucking creepy.”

“Ou, okay. Mangi finally has a good recommendation, I fuck with it.” Keeho pulls up the movie and presses play.

“I’m scared!” Mina squeals and puts her hands over her eyes, making Jungkook playfully tear them away.

“Nah, if we’re watching this, you are too.”

“Then move! Let me sit on the seat and you sit on the floor closer to the TV!” Jungkook laughs and stands to switch with her, plopping onto the floor as the movie kicks off.

“Oh hell no.” You mutter to yourself when the movie starts, immediately terrified from the creepy vibe of the movie. Yeo feels you snuggle up to him even more and he hugs you a little tighter, his arm now completely wrapped around your shoulders.

“This is actually kinda good.” 

“It’s so creepy.” 

“Yeah, it is. That’s what makes it a good horror movie.” He looks down at you. “Scared?”

“Kinda.” You’ve fallen to a whisper with how eerily silent the movie is despite the children talking and the creepy cartoons filling the background noise. Mingi, Jungkook and Keeho take turns yelling out of their asses, scared of what’s to come from the movie.

“How are you scared of this but not true crime, pretty girl?” Yeosang teases, gently pinching at your cheek.

“That’s different.”

“How?” He chuckles.

“I can’t explain it.” You pout, suddenly jumping in his arms when new activities happen in the movie.

“You’re okay.” He laughs, but you continue to pout. “Stop pouting. You’re making it really hard not to kiss you.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“Yeah, kinda.”

“No one said you couldn’t kiss me.” You tease. “It’s not like you haven’t.”

“Shut up.” He leans in to peck you on the lips, fingers gently caressing your chin. You giggle, resting your head on his shoulder as you continue to watch the movie. The both of you chime in with theories as things progress in the movie, with you using Yeosang’s hand to cover your eyes every now and then. He laughs, trying to rip his hand away to force you to watch. But, he stops; letting you cover your eyes when you and Mina start genuinely whining about how spooked you’re feeling from the movie.

“Oh shit.” Jungkook laughs as the boys continue to watch. “This is fucked up. The movie is all about making you feel all weird and unsettled but nothing really happens. It just thrives on that energy. The fear of the unknown.”

“I’m not gonna lie, I’m kinda fucking scared.” Keeho snorts.

“It reminds me of when I was a kid.” Mingi adds. “You guys remember waking up in the middle of the night and being scared to turn around cause it feels like something is there?”

“Yeah.” Yeosang chimes in. “Then you start spiraling into your own thoughts cause you don’t know if something is there or not, and then you start feeling more anxious and scared.”

“Yeah, exactly!”

“I hated that.”

“That’s why I never put my feet out from under the blanket.” Jungkook says, making everyone laugh.

“Oh shit!” They all collectively say when one of the rare jumpscares comes up. You feel Yeosang get startled next to you, causing you to giggle and poke fun at him.

“At least I’m watching!”

“You’re right, sorry.” You say sarcastically, giving him a tiny peck on the jaw. Just as you’re about to pull back and rest your head on his shoulder, he quickly dips in for another kiss on the lips. You scrunch your nose in response and he just about dies at how cute it is, pulling you closer towards him [if there were any possible way to be closer]. Towards the end of the movie, everyone finishes strong despite how spooked they feel. There were a bunch of ‘oh ew’s’ and ‘oh fuck no’s’ from the group while watching the ending scene, with Yeosang even making a face at how terrifying the ending is. 

“Okay, that was a good one.” Jungkook turns to Mingi. “How’d you find out about it?”

“Research.”

“You’re so full of shit.” Keeho glares at him. “What Youtube video were you watching when the ad popped up?” You all laugh.

“Let him have this one, Keeho. Damn.” You add.

“Real.” Jungkook stands and stretches. “Anyway, successful movie night I’d say. Are you guys gonna go to the bar next week? For the party?” He turns to you and Yeosang. “Yeo?”

“Yeah, for sure.” He nods, making Jungkook smile.

“Sick. It’ll be fun.” He grabs his keys and swings it around his finger. “I’m about to dip. Tired as fuck now. You three wanna ride with me so I can take you home?”

“Yeah, I’m fucking scared, though.” Mina laughs.

“Just turn on your lofi playlist.” Mingi says. “That can fix anything.”

“Sleep Soul by Jhene Aiko will fix anything, that’s for damn sure.” 

“I’m about to sleep with my night light on.” Keeho laughs. “Man, fuck you. It was a good recommendation but now I’m scared.”

“It was good, huh?” Mingi asks cockily. “I’ll cover for next movie night.”

“No, hell no. Need a good break.” You stand and stretch, giving Keeho and Mingi a hug after thanking them for hosting movie night. Yeosang follows suit, bidding the two farewells before slipping into his shoes and following you three out of the door.

“I’m about to leave all the lights on at my place, I don’t care. I can handle a few nights of the bill being high.”

“Same.”

“You have Yeosang, though!”

“He doesn’t stay with me!” You fire back with a laugh, even though it does kinda suck that you’re still having to say goodbye to Yeosang at the end of the day. This was progressing into who knows what— you had no idea what you two were at this point. All you know is that you have deep feelings for this man, and you hope he does, too. It’s kinda silly to be falling this deep, but you click with him. It’s a connection you can’t put into words. And that is terrifying.

Jungkook drives Mina to her place before dropping you off, leaving him alone with Yeosang as the last stop. Jungkook asks a few times if you’re both sure that you don’t need to stay at one place or the other, shrugging it off when you both shyly agree that you’ll part ways for the night.

Yeosang wishes he didn’t, because the night he does sleepover brings him to new territories with you and he wished he had explored it sooner.

You had been working at the restaurant for a full shift, and Yeosang had been out on the water with Mingi and a few other people from town. When he finally gets a text from you that you’ve finished your shift and closed up for the night with Jungkook, he’s back at home all freshly showered and patiently waiting for you. He feels his heart skip a beat, and he immediately throws on a windbreaker over his black tank top before dashing through the door with a simple—

[yeosang]: see you soon 😊

[you]: yay!

He chuckles to himself as he begins a light jog over to your place, knowing you’re probably taking your time heading home from work or stopping by to check on a few people. He doesn’t mind, though. He’ll gladly wait for you for as long as you need him to, especially if that means seeing you and spending time with you. 

So, he does just that until he finally catches wind of you approaching the apartment [faster than expected]. Yeosang silently leans back against the wall, watching as you skip towards the house and even do a little twirl. He lets out a soft chuckle to himself at how oblivious you are to his presence, even picking up the phone to call him. He purposely doesn’t pick up to see how long it’ll take you to notice, watching as you pause in your steps and glare at your phone when he doesn’t pick up the call.

“Why isn’t he answering me?” You pout as you tuck your phone away and dig for your keys. “Kang Yeosang. You better have a good excuse—”

“Like.. what? Sorry, I was faster than you and have been waiting?” Your attention shoots up to Yeosang still patiently waiting by the lobby door to the complex, your eyes lighting up as you let out a squeal and instantly throw your arms around him.

“I missed you.” You cutely mumble against him, his hand rubbing up and down your back as he holds you close.

“I missed you too, cutie.” He presses a kiss against the side of your head. “How was your shift?”

“It was okay, pretty busy.”

“Yeah? Least you get to relax now.” 

“Thank god.” You laugh, fiddling with your keys to unlock your door while Yeosang wraps his arms around your shoulders from behind. 

“I’ve been waiting all day.” He says softly against your head.

“I’m here now.”

“What do you wanna do tonight?” You shrug.

“I dunno. Anything! I just need to shower first because I feel kinda gross.” You laugh as you both step out of your shoes and drop your things off to the side, on the kitchen table.

“Cute regardless.” Yeosang smiles and you shake your head.

“Lies, all lies.”

“I would never lie to you.” He gently caresses your chin. “How about I cook something while you go shower and get comfortable?” You gasp.

“Yeosang cooking again?”

“I can whip up a good meal or two when I want, okay.” He rolls his eyes before squeezing your side. “Go.”

“Demanding.” You tease before grabbing your pajamas and heading off to the shower. Yeosang stands in your kitchen area for a good minute, hands placed on his hips as he contemplates on what he can cook. He rummages through your mini pantry and fridge, digging up some of your prepped cucumbers, radishes, boiled eggs and broth to make some naengmyeon. It’s a dish he’s able to whip up quickly, carrying your bowl and his to the living room coffee table. You finish your shower about 10 minutes later, and Yeosang is quietly sitting on the couch flipping through the channels. You run a towel through your damp hair, smiling at the two bowls ready made for you two.

“Aw.” You giggle. “Thank you.” You sit next to him and give him a soft, feathery kiss to the cheek. He turns to catch your lips in another kiss, making you scrunch your nose in response.

“You’re very welcome.” The two of you find a movie to settle on before indulging in your meal. Afterwards, you tidy up and grab some of the ice cream still sitting in your freezer from last time— handing Yeosang a melona bar as you plop back down next to him. He’s cozy, and you snuggle up close to feel more of his warmth. “Fuck, I don’t wanna move.” Yeosang sighs, leaning his head back onto the couch after he’s finished his ice cream. It’s nearing midnight and he truly hates the thought of leaving you at this point.

“You don’t have to.” You softly respond and he pops an eye open to examine your expression, body language. “Stay.”

“You’ll be comfortable with that?”

“Course.” You giggle. “I have a stack of extra toothbrushes, you know, in case the zombie apocalypse happens and we need them for a variety of reasons.” He snorts.

“Ah, touché. Nice to know you’d yield a toothbrush as a weapon. Makes me feel really safe.” You playfully toss a crumpled napkin his way. 

“Come.” You take his hand and lead him into your bathroom so he can get settled however he’d like. You hand him an extra toothbrush that he takes. Takes him a minute to register the item in his hand, that he’s standing in your bathroom getting ready for bed at your place. Which, is incredibly domestic as fuck for him; someone who doesn’t even know what this is or if there’s such a thing with labels nowadays. As much as he feels like he should drop it and forcibly distance himself from this, he can’t. Because he’d be lying to himself. How can he when he’s so incredibly smitten, so fucking in love with you already?

He adores you. He can’t lie that he’s been drawn to you from the start. He could never drop this or distance himself from you. His days don’t mean shit without you now.

Yeosang brushes his teeth and gets himself a little more comfortable while you tidy up in the kitchen and living room. The TV is off, and the only lights illuminating the space are from the kitchen and your Sailor Moon LED lamp on your nightstand. It’s blue, and it casts a pretty shade against the wall. 

“Are you gonna get ready for bed after?”

“Uh huh.” You wipe your hands on the hand towel.

“I can sleep on the couch—”

“No, you don’t have to do that. I don’t mind sharing my bed.” You laugh.

“A-are you sure, Y/N? I don’t wanna invade your space more than I already have.”

“Swear it’s okay. Or else, I wouldn’t have told you to stay and offered an extra toothbrush from my stash.” He chuckles and nods.

“Okay.” He slowly pads over to your bed, throwing the sheets from your neatly-made bed back. He rips off his hoodie and tosses it aside, leaving him in his white tee and sweats. He slips into the side of your bed, resting his hand behind his head with a leg propped up while he scrolls through his phone and waits for you. Within a couple of minutes, you’re shutting off the lights in your bathroom and walking over to the other side of the bed. He watches you go through your phone, soft music now playing through your bluetooth speakers.

“Hope you don’t mind. It actually helps me fall asleep.” You slip in next to him and it suddenly feels so fucking unreal that he’s laying next to you. About to sleepover for the night. Ain’t that some shit?

“It’s okay.” You turn to face him and he does the same, eyeing your features under the blue light. He pushes your hair back before caressing your cheek. 

“Why do you keep staring at me, Kang Yeosang?”

“You’re just.. so pretty, Y/N.” He says close to a whisper. “It almost feels unreal.”

“Stop.” You giggle. 

“I mean it.” He smiles, gently tugging you by the elbow to bring you closer. “Come here.” You scoot closer, resting right near Yeosang’s chin. His thumb glides over the surface of your chin, lifting it ever so slightly so that he can get a better look at your face from his angle. You edge a little closer, your lips grazing his before he dips forward. The kiss immediately starts heated, full of emotions. As you deepen the kiss, Yeosang lets out a small groan while his hand rests on your cheek. You press against him more, and he’s doing everything he can to take it slow, take his time. But, he can’t. Not when you know how to kiss so fucking well. Not when you continue to press against him, rocking yourself against his rock hard dick. Every kiss, every move, turns Yeosang on a ‘lil more than the last and he’s not sure if he’ll be able to hold it in tonight. He’s about to break.

“Fuck.” He lets out a shaky sigh, sucking onto your bottom lip as he tugs back and lets go. You slowly guide his hand down your chest, to your waist; to the lining of your panties. Yeosang’s fingers toy with the material under your shorts, slightly dipping beneath the hemline to test the waters all while kissing you deeply. When he finally gains the courage to explore a little deeper, he toys with your folds before sliding a digit in— trying to get a feel for how tight and wet you are.

“You’re so wet.” He whispers against your lips, but he barely gets the last half out before you’re swallowing his words and taking him in for another kiss. Yeosang slips in another finger, this time, pumping it at a faster pace than the last; a stupid smirk growing on his face when he hears the sounds coming from your pussy. “That’s so fucking hot.”

“Sangie.” You whimper. “More. Please.” He hisses hearing you beg, weak at the doe-eyed, innocent look you give him.

“You’re dripping.” He bites onto his bottom lip, curling his fingers into you. “All this for me?” You let out a choked moan when he hits you right at your spot, your hips getting a mind of their own and slowly riding his fingers. Your hand comes down to palm Yeosang’s hard cock through his sweats.

“Sangie, like that.” You nod to continue egging him on, begging him to let you cum, to push you over the edge. It doesn’t take long after this for you to let out a loud moan, your orgasm washing over your entire body. Yeosang smiles contently as he slowly pumps his fingers into you, thumb grazing your overly-sensitive clit that you’re having to grab at his wrist to stop him from doing so. “Oh shit.” You mewl while Yeosang laughs, pressing feathery kisses to your temple, jaw, corner of your lips. You take the two digits into your mouth and get a taste of yourself, Yeosang hissing when he watches you do. He loves the way your tongue swirls around his fingers, pretty lips wrapped around them while you get a taste.

“Oh my god.” He groans a bit. “You’re gonna kill me.” You look at him, dazed and all over this cloud nine shit, hoping you can satisfy his needs, too. You continue to palm him, feeling how incredibly hard he is through the material and wanting more of him.

“Can I?” He nods, allowing you to pull his length from its confines and slowly pump him. His dick is perfectly thick, sitting at a good length. The thought of him pumping this inside of you makes you drool. Your thumb swipes his tip, spreading his pre-cum across the surface. You work your hand in certain motions, pumping his length at a continuous, steady pace. You feel him buck into your hand a few times, his subtle way of asking you to keep going, to keep up at the pace you’re going.

“Oh—” He mutters. “Fuck, yeah.” He moans. “That’s it, baby.” You melt at the petname he lets out, his sultry tone sending goosebumps throughout your body. He begins to pant, signaling that he’s close. All Yeosang can think of is taking that next step with you and god, does he want you. But, he’ll take his time. He wants to do right by you. “I’m gonna cum— baby—” He chokes out. You pick up the pace and let him buck into your hand a few more times before you’re catching his release into your hand, a small amount landing on his lower tummy. “Shit. I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?” You laugh. “Don’t be.”

“Let me help you get cleaned up.” He takes a napkin from your nightstand to clean himself up, then you, your hand. You’ve gotten some of his load on your finger, which you gladly take into your mouth. Yeosang pauses as he watches you, shaking his head in response.

“You’re actually out to kill me. There’s no way.” He glares at you while you giggle, letting him wipe down the rest of your hand. “You okay?”

“I am.” 

“Want me to grab you anything? Water?”

“No. Just hold me.” You say cutely and Yeosang can’t even think about rejecting your request. He pulls you close and places a big kiss on your forehead before coming down to your lips. “Night Sangie.” You say against his chest.

“Goodnight, love.” His heart swells when you snuggle into him, shortly falling asleep within the next few minutes. He takes his time to admire you, eyes trained on your features, your sleeping body, the soft smile on your face. He thinks this is the moment he truly could admit that he had started to really fall in love with you because there’s no other place he’d rather be. If he could choose any moment in time, he’d come back to this. Over and over again. He’d choose you, over and over again.

“Y/N. When are you coming home?” Changbin asks on the other line, with Ryujin and San sitting next to him.

“Yeah, cause. It’s lonely out here. I need you. These two are useless—” Changbin turns his phone away so he’s the only one in view, glaring at Ryujin next to him.

“By the way this is my phone call with Y/N. I don’t remember inviting you two?”

“Why me? I’m just here!” San whines. “She’s my bestfriend, too. Huh, Y/N?”

“She was my bestfriend first, you assholes!” Ryujin shoves San away.

“Anyway.” Bin fixes the phone, making you laugh. “Seriously, when are you coming home? We haven’t seen you in years and you won’t even let us come down to visit wherever you are.”

“Cause I’m busy and exploring.” You vaguely say. “I dunno when I’ll come home.”

“Do you even miss home?”

“I do. I miss you guys. I miss Innie.”

“Then?”

“Then, I don’t know? I’ve been doing okay here.”

“Are you replacing us with your friends there?” San asks.

“No one is replacing anyone.”

“Your parents miss you.” 

“As I’ve heard.” Your heart sinks; all of a sudden, you’re homesick again, and you miss your friends. It had been hard to leave them, too. But, you needed to find yourself, and you needed to work on things for your own self, for your own sake and peace. It was important.

“Look. You don’t have to move back home, but at least visit if you don’t want us coming to you.”

“I know. Maybe soon, yeah?” You smile. “I promise. So? Tell me. What else is new there?”

“Nothing.” Changbin snorts. “Nothing at all.”

“Ryujin and I started learning tennis.” You laugh at San.

“Tennis?!”

“It’s fun!” Ryujin pouts. “I’d usually do this with you, but I have to settle for the boys.” It’s true— Ryujin was your bestfriend, and you used to do everything with her. Whether it was staying up late and exploring, going out to parties, trying all kinds of activities; she was your girl and vice versa. You missed her so, so much. But, she knew how much you needed this break and how much you needed to be away from the past, old memories. She understood you, and even though it hurt to let you go, she just wanted what was best for you.

“I just sit and watch.” Changbin adds. “Fetch the ball a few times.”

“Sounds like you.” You laugh.

“What about you? Anything new down there?”

“No.” You quickly change the subject. “Innie told me he got the internship at one of the companies he applied to!”

“Yeah, we saw him the other day and he told us. Even more of a reason for you to come home to celebrate?” You chuckle.

“Yeah.” You hear the shower cut off in the bathroom. “Anyway, I gotta go. Got some plans for tonight.”

“Okay. Be safe.” Changbin responds before Ryujin and San fit themselves into the tiny frame and wave.

“Miss you. Love you.” Ryujin pouts.

“I miss you and love you guys. Always.” You wave once more before setting the phone down. You set it on the charger as you sit criss-crossed on your bed, resting in Yeosang’s shirt. He steps out of your bathroom in some track pants while unfolding the shirt in his hands. You can’t help but fix on his abs just as he’s about to throw his shirt on, feeling all sorts of butterflies in your tummy after seeing how incredibly ripped he was.

You knew he was built well, but to see this— see it in action and in front of your eyes was different.

“My personality is up here.” Yeosang catches you staring when he gets his shirt on, a smirk plastered on his face as he crawls back onto your bed and gives you a quick peck to the lips.

“I wasn’t doing anything.”

“So.. you weren’t just staring at me?”

“You did that on purpose. You could’ve thrown your shirt on before leaving the bathroom, you demon.”

“You mad about it?” He bites onto his bottom lip, squeezing your thigh.

“No.” You roll your eyes and he laughs.

“Come here. Gimme a kiss.” You quickly oblige and dip forward to kiss him again; this time, deepening the kiss just enough to please him and tease him [for more]. The way he looks at you when you pull away makes your heart do a thousand flips, and you can’t help but let out a tiny giggle when he taps the tip of your nose. “Were you talking to someone while I was in the bathroom?”

“Oh.” You nod. “Mhm. Just friends.”

“Like Jungkook and them?”

“Childhood friends.” You vaguely respond.

“Oh. From home?” You nod.

“People I grew up with. They’re just checking in.” 

“That’s nice. Are they planning to come visit you or something?”

“No. They’re all too busy for that.” You give him a tiny toothless smile before hopping off the bed to get ready. “Anyway, I’m gonna start getting ready for the party.”

“I’ll be here.”

“Must be nice to just throw on your shit and go.” You laugh, digging through your closet for an outfit.

“You know you’d look good in anything.”

“My makeup!”

“You don’t even need it, pretty.” He lays back on your bed, shutting his eyes to rest for a bit. He replays the conversation you just had in his head, wondering why you had been shying away from sharing details with him. He caught onto the way your lips pursed together when you dropped eye contact. He caught onto the way you quietly responded and quickly changed topics. It’s not the first time he’s noticed, but he would never press you, no. On the other hand though, he can’t lie; he wishes you felt more comfortable with him. It all goes back to him wondering what else he can do to gain your trust. What else can he do to feel like a safe space for you? Why was he starting to feel like you were so close, yet so distant?

❊ FLASHBACK

“So, how are you liking town so far?”

“Good. It’s been fun. Nice to get away from the city.”

“That’s cool. I bet it’s nice to get away. Must be a good change from the hustle of the city.” Jungkook chuckles. “I’m sure Y/N has been a good tour guide, too?” He smirks.

“Uh, yeah.” Yeosang shyly laughs. “Yeah..”

“You guys are cute.”

“I don’t really know what this is to tell you honestly.” Jungkook shrugs.

“I know she likes you. A lot.”

“I—” Yeosang lets out a breath. “I like her, too.”

“The hesitation?” Jungkook chuckles and Yeosang shakes his head.

“Oh no. Not like that. I just.. wasn’t expecting it.”

“Isn’t that the best, though? When you least expect it.”

“Yeah.” Yeosang says softly. “Sounds cliché, but she really makes me feel things I haven’t felt before.” Jungkook smiles.

“Cute. So. Do you plan to make this an official thing even with you leaving at the end of the month? Or, do I need to step into my overprotective friend mode?” Yeosang chuckles.

“No. Don’t worry. I’m not like that, I swear. I don’t— I don’t do temporary.” Is all he responds with. “There’s nothing more that I want than to be on a solid page with her. If that’s what she wants.”

“Course. I know she does even if she shies away from it.” Jungkook laughs a bit and does a slight head tilt. “You know, it’s funny. I’ve known that girl for a couple of years and I still feel like I know her but at the same time, I don’t. I just know she’s been through a lot and she moved here from who knows where to start a new chapter for herself.” He turns to Yeo. “Although I do believe you and think you’re genuinely a good guy, please just.. take care of her.” Yeosang nods slowly. He wonders why you haven’t opened up to your friends much, being that they’re people you surround yourself with often. He gets it, though. It took him awhile to really open up to his friends— even now, he doesn’t think there are things he can openly share with Chaerin or Jongho compared to Wooyoung. Still. It makes him feel a little sad that you might feel alone, even in a room full of people. What can he do to be of comfort to you?

“Of course.” Yeosang sits back in his seat, wondering how he could possibly pull this off. Because he does want this, he does. And he’d be willing to make it work, despite the 4 hour distance. He’d come back and forth if he had to, keep up with plans to visit each other and take initiative. It’ll be hard, and it’ll be an adjustment until you two can figure out a better plan. But, he wants you and that’s all that matters to him at this point.

❊ END

Evening comes pretty quickly, especially when you’re distracted by Yeosang through his kisses and his need to be in between your thighs. You eventually finish getting ready post-orgasm, throwing on a cargo skirt, a cropped baby tee and sneakers. Yeosang is in black jeans, a white tee, and combat boots. The two of you start pregaming together until Keeho pulls up to your apartment— Mingi and Mina loudly yelling from their seats from all the excitement. 

The bar is closer to the outskirts of town, and Jungkook chose this bar in particular since the owners had been longtime friends of his family. The bar was also recently remodeled, with more modern and sleek touches, making it easy on the eye. The weather is beautiful tonight, the air crisp and not too cold. The windows are down as Keeho drives down the road along the water, blasting his playlist with everyone singing along. After a good 15 minutes, Keeho pulls into the large lot in front of the bar, carefully navigating into a spot while people are walking across to join the party. The music is muffled, but can be heard booming through the building even from down the road. You lace your fingers with Yeo’s, holding onto his hand tightly as you and your friends walk into the bar. It’s packed already, and you’re having trouble finding Jungkook in the crowd until Mingi spots him in between the bar and DJ.

“He’s over there!” Mingi nods for you all to follow him to the opposite end of the bar. Jungkook is a social butterfly, so he’s got people swarming him left and right. When he finally spots you from over the shoulder of the person he’s talking to, he smiles from ear to ear, raising his glass up.

“About fucking time!”

“Miss Mina needed extra time to get ready.” Keeho laughs. “Who the fuck did you invite?”

“People who invited people who invited more.. people.” Jungkook shrugs. “Yeosang, my guy!” He gives Yeosang a dap, pulling him into a good hug afterwards. “Let’s go take some shots. On me!”

“Oh shit, boss is paying for shots?!” Mingi says excitedly, immediately following him to the bar with Yeosang alongside of him.

“Aye, Y/N. Take my shot for me please. Don’t disappoint me.” You snort at Keeho’s request.

“I got you!” And so with that, everything takes off from here. The three of you participate in taking shots— one turning into three, four? Both you and Yeosang try to pace yourselves though, not wanting to be incredibly drunk and too inebriated to enjoy tonight. But, the shots you’ve taken are enough to get you going; feeling carefree enough to drag Yeosang onto the dance floor and have your alone time with him. It starts incredibly fun and harmless, the two of you genuinely enjoying each other’s company as the different songs blast through the walls of the bar. Your friends join in, the boys rapping along to every song and trying to act cool in front of you, Mina and the other girls surrounding the group. It’s a fun time; you laugh. You joke. You play around. Yeo throws his arm over you from time to time, admires you as you happily dance and sing along. You step out for a few water and bathroom breaks in between, and eventually, you and your friends are separated and spread across the room. Mingi, Keeho and Jungkook are finding themselves a few pretty girls to hang out with, while Mina is flirting away with one of the bartenders. You and Yeosang find yourselves falling deeper into the crowd, now in your own little world where you’re surrounded by strangers, but are focused on each other and each other only. At some point, you get pushed to the corner near the window from how packed the room has gotten over time. You don’t mind it though, because now, the energy between you and Yeosang has flipped to something more intense. More tension. More need. More desire. You’ve been dancing all up on him for the past hour or so, and he’s been enjoying every minute of it. 

He sits on the window sill, hands gripping on the edges with his legs spread— enough to make room for you in between, giving him the best view of you bending over and working your ass against him. He subtly bites onto his bottom lip when you get him at the best angles, his hand slowly snaking up to your hip to help guide you and keep up with the rhythm. You bring yourself up as you continue to dance on him, looking back to see the dazed expression on his face. You giggle a bit just as the song transitions into another, letting Yeosang wrap his arms around you and hold you close.

“Killing me.” He says in your ear, large hands resting on your thighs; if he travels any further, he’ll be right where you need him.

“Are you having fun?” You turn to him, arms wrapped around his neck. 

“Yeah, I am.” He gently squeezes at the back of your thighs, right beneath your ass. “Why, are you?”

“Yeah, but I kinda wanna get outta here.” Your eyes shift from his, down to his lips— back up to his brown orbs. He subtly bites onto his bottom lip and nods, face only inches away from yours. If he wasn’t mistaken, he sees the look in your eyes, and it’s on the same wavelength as his. He just needs to get you home, quick.

“Whatever you wanna do, love.” You giggle, finding the courage to plant a kiss on his lips. He doesn’t pull away though, no. He deepens the kiss, letting out a shaky exhale in between.

He’s having trouble composing himself and he’s afraid he won’t be able to anymore when he gets you alone.

“Let’s go.” You break away from the heated kiss, lips puffy from the contact. You grab his hand and navigate through the crowd, bidding Jungkook, Keeho and Mingi farewell as you two slip out of the party with ease. 

As you work to call a taxi, Yeosang instantly latches onto you— hands gripping at your waist from behind while he plants kisses along your jaw, neck. When the taxi finally comes, you slip in with a giggle, aching from the distance in the back seat of the car. Yeosang can’t take his eyes off of you, bringing a hand to your thigh to keep you close, to let you know how badly he wants you tonight.

Even when you finally arrive at your studio, Yeosang gives you some distance to fiddle through your keys and finally unlock the door. He should be given a gold medal for how cool and composed he’s keeping himself.

That is, until the door shuts.

You let out a squeal when you feel Yeosang tug on your wrist, pulling you against him to kiss you. The kiss is deep, and everything feels like it’s laid out on the table. No holding back, no restraints.

“Need you so badly.” He says in between his strong kisses, holding you closely by the waist while you wrap your arms around his neck. He slowly backs you towards the bed and pushes up against you, feeling how hard he is even through his jeans.

“You have me.”

“Are you sure about this? Do you have a condom?”

“I am.” You nod. “I am. More than sure. I’m on the pill.” You tug at the hem of his shirt. 

Sooner or later, clothes are being ripped off and tossed into every corner of the studio. You find yourself underneath Yeosang, biting onto your bottom lip when he pulls out his pretty cock and pumps himself a few times. He takes the tip and runs it down your folds, edging the tip right at your clit a few times to tease you. You let out a small whimper while Yeosang lets out a breathy moan.

“Sangie.” You beg, pleading through your look, for him to go further. He bites onto his bottom lip this time, smirking as he watches your face contort in pleasure when he slowly sinks himself into you. “Oh my god.” The stretch feels so, so good; Yeosang moving at a steady pace as he keeps your legs cocked open for him. He lets out a breath while rocking into you, shutting his eyes when he sees you beautifully laid out beneath him just to keep his composure for a second. 

“Fuck, you’re so tight. Wrap around me so well—” He barely finishes his sentence before he’s letting out a moan, enjoying the way you feel way too much. His body comes down to hover over yours slightly; just enough to hold his own weight but keep close to you. You moan into his mouth when he picks up the pace, thrusting into you a little rougher than the last time. But every single thrust, move, kiss is full of feeling, emotion. Full of lust. Desire. Passion.

“Oh shit.” Your moans are louder this time, echoing over the walls and surely blending into your neighbor’s. 

“Want you—” Yeosang whispers in your ear as he continues to thrust deep inside of you, letting you feel every inch of his length in all the right places. “Want you to be mine.” He gives off a breathy moan, biting onto your jaw, gently sucking onto your neck.

“I am yours.” You breathe out. 

“Yeah?” He sits back a bit, thumb now coming to your clit to continue pushing you over the edge. “Say it again, baby.”

“I’m yours.” 

“Louder.” He growls.

“I’m yours!” You mewl, hand grabbing at your tit while Yeosang fucks into you roughly; clit aching and coil threatening to snap. 

“That’s it.” He coos. “So good for me.” And it only takes a few more snaps of his hip, thumb still playing with your sensitive nub before you unravel underneath him. You cry in pleasure, body trembling as your orgasm washes over your body. “Can you ride me, princess? Wanna see you ride me.” He hisses, trying to keep himself together as you continue to feel the after-shocks of your orgasm, walls still squeezing him tightly. You oblige, switching positions and instantly sliding down his length. He lets out a loud groan, head falling back against the wall with hooded lids while he adjusts to the feeling. You waste no time finding a good pace, rocking back and forth on his cock— clit still feeling sensitive from your first orgasm. 

“Yeosang, fuck. Feel so full.”

“God damn.” He lets out another breathy moan, hands coming to your hips to guide you. “Just like that.” You pick up your pace, switching between bouncing on his dick to rolling your hips slowly, deeply. “Baby— close—” He pants, unable to compose himself any further. The friction against your clit feels too good that you find your second orgasm bubbling quickly, only taking a few more rolls against Yeosang for you to tip over the edge again. You still in your position while trembling in his grip, and Yeosang fucks up into you to chase his own high shortly afterwards. He releases his load into you, painting your walls white with his seed. You fall forward, lazily kissing him as you both try to bring yourselves back down from cloud nine and regulate your breathing. Yeosang coos you, hands coming up to rub your back and your sides while pressing gentle kisses to your skin. He praises you, telling you how well you did and how perfect you are for him. He gives you one last deep kiss before leading you into the bathroom to get washed up and cleaned up for bed. It’s a quick, sweet shower together; washing off the sweat from tonight’s activities before finishing up your bedtime routine and tossing new sheets onto the bed. 

You’ll get to the laundry tomorrow.

Yeosang pulls you onto your chest and cuddles you to sleep, humming along to the song now playing through your bluetooth speakers. It doesn’t take too long for Yeo to fall asleep after you, the exhaustion from tonight hitting him quickly. When morning comes, it’s a lot earlier than Yeosang expects. He was the last to fall asleep, but the first to wake, and he can thank his hard ass dick for that. He tries to shift in his position without waking you, but it’s no use. You’re tucked under his chin nicely while clinging onto him, pressed up to his body as closely as possible. The events from last night keep replaying in his head like a film strip. Now, he’s just fucking horny.

He squeezes at your hip before pressing kisses to your face, his gentle way of waking you up and showing his need. You begin to stir a bit when Yeosang whispers in your ear and tries to wake you up completely. He still has you wrapped in his arms, tucked underneath his chin. “Baby.” He whispers as he continues to softly kiss you on every place possible.

“Mhm?” Your eyes flutter open, and you catch on quick. Yeosang’s hands are roaming all over your sides, his hard dick pressed up against you to feel any friction. 

“I’m so hard.” He almost whines into your ear and it’s enough to get you going. “Want you right now.”

“You have me.”

“Yeah?” He gently nibbles on your earlobes, hand trailing down under his shirt you’re wearing to toy with your panties. “Is it okay if I do this, then?” He rubs at your clit through the material of your panties, feeling the wet patch already seeping through.

“Mhm.” You hum as Yeosang dips down to kiss you, thumb still caressing at your nub. It’s when the kiss deepens that he roughly tugs your panties off and does the same with his own boxer briefs. He doesn’t waste any time to position you right where he needs you; getting you to slightly lift your leg so he can slip in at the right angle. It happens quick, bearing in mind that you’re already wet and going from the way he had woken you up earlier. 

“God, you always feel too good.” He mutters against your lips. His hand holds up your leg as he continues to rock into you; back and forth. It’s slow and steady before he picks it up, cock hitting you in all the best spots from this position. 

“Shit, Sangie— fuck.” You whimper, hips lightly moving to match his rhythm. He lets out a loud groan when you start to do so, the feeling of your walls squeezing against him making it incredibly hard to last. You kiss him once more, lips lazily grazing over his jaw and neck. He hisses when he feels you messily kiss at the base of his neck and suck on the surface.

“You keep moving like that, I won’t last.” He huffs, beginning to rock into you at a rougher pace. The only sounds filling the room at this point are nothing short of pornographic; skin slapping against skin, loud moans and heavy breathing. “I’m close, baby. Cum with me.” You feel yourself tipping over the edge the more he begins to fuck into you at this position, only taking a few more thrusts before you’re yelling his name and digging your nails into his bicep from how hard it hits you; Yeosang reaching his own climax shortly after. 

“Kang Yeosang.” You breathe out, his lip lazily grazing your forehead.

“Mm, I like it when you call my name like that.”

“Shut up.” You laugh. “Guess no more sleep for us.”

“I mean, we can. We can just repeat the whole process entirely. I’m down for it.”

“You’re so full of shit.” You laugh, dragging him to the bathroom. “Let’s get up.” You drag him to wash up and get ready for the day, throwing on some high waisted shorts and a cropped tank top to match today’s heat. Yeosang’s ass decides to walk around shirtless and in sweats he had brought over, letting them hang on his hips so damn lowly.

“I have to do so much laundry, thanks to you.” Yeo laughs before taking a sip of water, still standing shirtless in your kitchen.

“Baby.” You hum in response as you load your laundry. “Let’s go on that bike ride you’ve been wanting to do after you’re done.”

“Really?” You smile and he nods.

“Mhm. Then we can go out to eat before cozying up tonight.”

“You’re the best.” You get the laundry going before jumping on him and giving him a kiss.

“Wanna go another round?”

“I hate you.” You laugh when Yeo smothers you in kisses, dropping you onto the bed to let him take care of you yet again. He can’t get enough of you.

You finally get to finishing and folding your laundry, all while Yeosang whips up some lunch and sets it on the coffee table for you two to enjoy. After, you take that bike ride with Yeosang down the coast; letting the breeze hit you as you bike down a good 2-3 miles before hopping off and taking pictures together. You take him to a good bbq spot nearby, drinking and feeding each other while enjoying deep conversations together. No topic ever feels dumb or silly around Yeosang, and you’re grateful he happily participates in the conversation regardless of what it is. The both of you laugh loudly and smile the entire time, enjoying each other’s sweet company as you’ve learned to do over these few weeks. It’s easy to admit that Yeosang has become your favorite person, and the best part of your days are now the ones spent with him. You’re positive there’s nothing else that comes close. Nothing. And as much as that makes you happy, it’s the same thing that terrifies you the most.

You hate thinking about it, but your time with Yeosang is coming to an end. He’d have his last few days before he’s heading back to the city, back to the life he’s used to living. Back to life without you? Because let’s face it— even if he wanted to continue your relationship, it wouldn’t feel the same as having him next to you every day. With the time left, you’re torn between making the most of it, or being torn up over it.

“Baby.” Yeosang tugs on your hand as he continues to lock his fingers with yours, trying his best to grab your attention.

“Huh?” He chuckles.

“Can hear you thinking.” You look down and kick at the rocks beneath your feet.

“You already know what it is.” He lets out a breath before he pauses in his steps, pulling you towards him. He brushes your hair back and gently lifts your chin; his touches all soft, tender.

“Hey. I know it’s easier said than done, but I really don’t want you to worry. As long as you’re willing to work with me through it, then we’ll be good.” He gives you a reassuring smile. “Okay? You’re in this with me, right?” You nod.

“But, Sangie—”

“No but’s.” He laughs when you whine about him not letting you finish your sentence. “Okay, okay. What is it?”

“Will you forget me?” Yeosang’s forehead pinches ever so slightly at the question, head tilting to the side as he reads into it. He can tell there’s sadness swirling in those beautiful eyes of yours, a forced smile creeping at the corner of your lips to downplay the sadness behind it. It breaks his heart that you’d even think that way, so he can’t help but cup your cheek and gently caress the surface.

“Why would you think that, baby? I would never.” He responds softly. “You know how much I want this, right? Despite the distance. Nothing about that will change.”

“Okay.” You respond softly. He lets out a small sigh before planting a kiss on your forehead and pulling you in for a tight hug. 

“We’re gonna be okay. As long as you’re with me.”

“I am.” You don’t even realize how pained and choked up you sound when you let the statement fall from your lips; it’s not that you were unsure about Yeosang. You could never be. Yeosang had to be the greatest blessing you have ever been granted with in this fucked up world. An unexpected blessing you weren’t even sure you deserved. How? You were unsure about yourself. How could you be the girl he needs, he deserves, if everyone else deemed you unworthy and useless?

“Then it’ll be fine.” He takes you to the sand and plops down onto the sand, asking for your hand as a way to ask you to join him. You sit next to him, holding onto his arm and resting your head on his shoulder as you look out to the ocean.

“Aren’t you gonna miss it?”

“I will. I’ll miss a lot of things.”

“Like what?” He smirks.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” You whine a bit and pout, causing Yeosang to subtly bite onto his bottom lip to prevent himself from smiling too big.

“Yeosang.” You pout.

“I’ll miss you the most.” He presses a light kiss to the top of your head. “Here. Why don’t we plan something for the next time we see each other?” He shifts in his position to look at you a little better. “Wanna come to me in the city? You can stay at my place and you can meet my friends.” 

“Okay.” You giggle. “I can ask Jungkook for time off in the next 3 weeks or so?”

“Mhm.” He nods. “Just let me know what date works and I’ll clear everything out for you, love.” You smile and lean back onto his arm.

“Okay. And then?”

“Then, the next time, I’ll come down here. We can go back and forth until we figure out a better plan in the long term. Sound good?”

“Yeah, it does.”

“I know it sounds tiring right now, but I hope you know I’m willing to do it for you. No questions asked.” You continue to silently listen to the waves crashing against the sand in front of you. “I’ll do anything for you, Y/N. You made everything about coming here worth it.”

“I hope so.”

“You’re mine, yeah?” He asks and you nod against him before kissing him on the cheek. That night, Keeho, Mingi, Jungkook and Mina join for a tiny bonfire, a last hurrah of some sort for Yeo. You laugh seeing him enjoy one of his last moments with the boys, downing beers and singing along to the songs playing on Keeho’s mini bluetooth speakers. From time to time, Yeosang would dedicate his singing to you, playfully hug you from behind and try to smother your face in kisses. You and Mina took charge of snapping a few photos before taking a walk near the water, leaving the boys to trail behind as they fuck around and continue to loudly sing at the top of their lungs.

“So, what are you gonna do when Yeosang goes back? Did you two plan anything?” You nod as you continue to look at the sand beneath you.

“Yeah. I’m gonna ask Jungkook if I can take some time off to visit him.”

“That’s good.” She playfully nudges you. “He’s so sweet, Y/N. He really adores you, it’s so obvious how much he does. I’m glad his vacation brought you two together.”

“Yeah, unexpected things can be good, huh?” She laughs.

“Do you love him?”

“Is it too early to say so?” She shakes her head.

“Never. I think when two people instantly connect and build a connection like that, there is no such thing as too early.” You shrug.

“I just hope I can keep being good for him, you know? Can’t help but think about it. Our distance. Us being apart.”

“You’re good for each other. I can see it.” You shrug.

“He’s too good for me.”

“Stop it. Don’t start getting into your head, okay? He genuinely cares about you.”

“Yeah, I know.” You look at her with a small smile even though your head is already swirling with a million uncertainties— ones she won’t ever know about. “Gonna miss him a lot.”

“You two will get through this and make it work.” You gently bump arms with hers.

“Hope so.” 

“Baby!” Yeosang yells drunkly, coming to hug you from behind. “Baby.” He repeats against your head, giving you a sweet kiss to the cheek.

“Mhm?”

“I really, really like you.” He says near your ear. “You m-make me so happy. Like.. so fucking happy. I didn’t even expect it and truthfully, I kept telling myself I shouldn’t.” He goes on, making Mina giggle as she slowly steps back and lets you two have your space. “B-but I’m glad I just said fuck it because I—” He dips down to look at you in pure adoration and love. “You’re so pretty. God, you’re so pretty. I feel so fucking lucky.” 

“You’re drunk, Sangie.” You laugh and he hugs you tighter from behind, causing you to pause in your steps and sink into his hug a little more.

“Will not confirm nor deny.” You snort. “But, I still mean everything.”

“You’ve been too good to me. What did I do to deserve it?” You ask softly as you lean into his hug, the question mainly meant to stay in your head. Too late now, though.

“You didn’t have to do anything, love.” He snuggles against your neck and gently places a kiss on the surface. “You’re mine.”

“I am.” You bite onto your bottom lip before kissing his hand, unraveling yourself from his arms to hold his hand and walk alongside of him. Sooner or later, the boys decide they’re crashing from the beer and find it a good point to call it a night. They all give Yeosang a big hug before parting, Mina making sure they all make it home in one piece.

Though Yeosang is drunk, he’s able to walk to your apartment without making too much chaos. You find it incredibly endearing how clingy he seems to get while intoxicated, not able to keep his hands off of you the entire time walk home. Not that you were complaining or anything. It’s crazy because he can pick up on the mood shift, the change in the air, when you walk into the apartment. He can tell there’s something else in your eyes, in your look, your touch. You’re not sad, but you aren’t the happiest either. Quite frankly, you’re not sure how to pinpoint the exact feeling, but you’re finding the need to really make use of your time left with Yeosang. For the rest of the night, you just want to be with him. To kiss every inch, to keep him close. To love on him. You don’t say much as you continue to walk into your studio, quietly grabbing your pajamas before heading to the bathroom and asking Yeosang to join you for a quick shower. His eyes are still glazed over and slightly red, but he joins you anyway— undressing and tossing his clothes aside before stepping into the hot shower. 

Everything about the shower from start to finish is intimate; Yeosang starts off by helping shampoo and condition your hair, long fingers massaging deep into your scalp. You do the same with him, running your hands through his hair as you wash off the product, letting the water cascade down his features. The entire time, Yeosang tightens his grip on your hips, keeping you close even as you wash him off. He doesn’t waste a minute to kiss you, tongue lining your bottom lip as a subtle way to ask for permission— to take this further. As the kiss deepens, you gently tug on the hair resting on the nape of his neck, letting out small moans when you feel Yeosang’s hard length pressed against you. No words are exchanged, but both you and Yeosang transmitted every thought, every feeling, every ounce of pleasure, through your touches, your kisses. He gently backs you to the wall, lifting your leg up and holding it against him— careful not to break the kiss as he finds the perfect angle to tease your slit with his tip and slip himself inside of you. You moan into his mouth when he eases in, the stretch feeling so, so good under the running water.

“God, fuck.” Yeosang moans as he continues to thrust up into you, keeping a slow and steady pace. “So tight for me.”

“Keep going. Please.” You continue to plead for more, and who was Yeosang to deny you of that? He plunges deeper and gets a lil rougher, your back feeling the slight burn from the contact of the cold wall. Your moans are louder this time around, Yeosang continuing to pound into you to bring you to your high.

“I’ll give you everything.” He groans. “Wanna give you the world, baby.” He nibbles onto your earlobe, gently nibbling at your jaw, neck. You tug on the ends of his hair, slowly moving your hips to work with his rhythm. “Cum for me, hm?” He hums, free hand coming down to massage at your sensitive nub. His thumb works in deep, circular motions— at the perfect pace he knows you respond well to. You whine and beg for Yeosang to keep going, spilling out lewd noises as his cock hits you in all the right places, finally pushing you over the edge after a few more thrusts. Your moans echo and bounce off the bathroom walls, whimpering when he chases his own high. His movements become a little sloppy with the force he’s exerting, his own coil snapping within him not too long after you. He coats your walls, muffling his moans against your neck as he gives you every last drop;

Giving you every last bit of him.

“That was nice.” You tease with a giggle before giving him another sweet kiss to the lips.

“It was. We should definitely get cleaned up now.” You nod, letting Yeosang lather you up in some body wash in between kisses before you repeat the same on him. 

When you both finally step out of the shower and finish getting ready for bed, you immediately tuck yourself into Yeosang’s arms, indulging in his warmth and scent. You wish you could pause time and keep it here forever— in the warmest, safest spot you know. And Yeosang feels the same way, too. He wants to repeat the night over and over again, especially when he finds himself yearning for another round just to show you how much you nean to him; laying kisses all over your face, body, before he gets you on all fours and fucks into you like no tomorrow. Especially when you’re so, so good to him, begging and moaning his name like a mantra with every thrust. Especially when you submit to him and give him everything he asks of you. Especially when you tuck yourself into his arms again post-orgasm and cling onto him.

He softly sings a song as he watches you fall into sleep, brushing the hair away from your face to lay a kiss on your forehead. When he looks at you, everything feels right again. When he looks at you, he feels like he’s holding the universe in his arms, has the brightest stars swirling in his orbit. When he looks at you, he sees love. It’s the kind of love he’s never really felt before. One that just feels right, like it’s meant to be. Like he just knows.

“Goodnight, baby.” He whispers against your skin before pulling you closer and shutting his eyes, not wanting to spend a minute away from you.

The last morning comes, and you wish it hadn’t. But the day is here, and you’re forced to face it regardless if you like it or not. You weren’t sure where this would lead you, but now that you’re having to face it. You’re sad, and you’re wanting to hide. Even if Yeosang never had plans to hurt you in the first place. You know he could never hurt a soul; yet, it still didn’t stop you from having those thoughts, from overthinking, from letting your past run your present. The only thing you felt like you were good at at this point was running— running away as far as possible from problems and potential heartbreak.

Luckily, you’re alone this morning and you can cry about it. Yeosang left you alone to go on a run and it’s the perfect time to fucking cry over all of this. You cry about it without Yeosang having to know, you cry about it without any worry that he’d see you. Because you needed to. You needed to cry about it, and you needed to let your feelings out. You were gonna hate this. You were gonna be so sad without him. You might even feel a little regret for having fallen for someone who wasn’t meant to stick around. What if you couldn’t be it for him? What if he realized he couldn’t do this with you? What if he realized you weren’t worth it? What if you just couldn’t be the girl who could take care of him and treat him well in this distance? It all feels so sickening and so, so awful. You should’ve known that maybe, you just weren’t ready to face it. To face this. To be.. this.

You sob into your hands when every negative thought, every overbearing insecurity starts to fill your head— telling you this, telling you that. You weren’t sure what to do from here, and you weren’t sure how things would actually go with Yeosang being gone. It’s not that you didn’t have faith in him. You didn’t have faith in yourself, in your ability to be what Yeosang needed, to provide the love he so absolutely deserved. You didn’t know.

When you’ve cried all that you have left in you, you quickly pad to his bathroom and wash up— making sure to add a little cream to your extra sensitive spots around the eyes to help cover up the fact that you had been crying all morning. You change into the clothes you arrived in last night, cleaning around Yeosang’s studio and making his bed. You whip up a good breakfast, plating the food just as he walks through the door in his loose muscle tank and shorts; face still gleaming with sweat.

“Hey.” He quickly pecks you on the cheek, smiling at the breakfast you made. “Yum.” You giggle. “Let me go shower real quick and I’ll join you, okay? Thank you for the food.” He kisses you on the lips, smiling into the kiss before squeezing your ass and walking off to the bathroom.

Despite the crying, nothing else felt off that morning. At least, Yeosang didn’t pick up on anything, and he certainly couldn’t tell you had been crying while he was out. Though, he does pick up on how much sadder you look, and how much quieter you’ve been today compared to the rest of his time here. It does feel different, but pairing it with the circumstances, it wasn’t entirely unusual. After breakfast, you clean up the dishes and help Yeosang pack up all his things. It’s taking everything in you not to cry again, your heart shattering to pieces at the uncertainty you feel. Yeosang will never know, though. Cause as long as he’s still here, you’ll make sure he spends his time wisely so that he’s returning happy. Rested. Content. Complete. That’s all that matters right now.

You and Yeo take a quick walk to the convenience store to grab him some food for the road, Yeosang saying his goodbyes to the people he’s met and run into. You wish he could stay, maybe it would be easier. But, you’d never be that selfish to make him choose. He shouldn’t have to choose.

“Baby.” Yeosang calls for you, tugging you by the hand and pulling you close.

“Hm?” You hum while he brushes your hair back.

“You okay?” You pout a bit, but you shake your head.

“I will be.” He can see the tears welling in your eyes and he sucks on his teeth before hugging you tightly and pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

“We’ll be okay.” He says softly. “Remember? We’re going to visit each other and I’ll come back here as soon as I can. It’s nothing a quick trip into town can’t fix.”

“I know. But, I’m just gonna miss you. A lot.”

“I’ll miss you, too. It’ll come before you know it.” You don’t respond because you’re not sure what else you can say at this point. You’re heartbroken and sad, and there’s nothing that can mask the feelings you’re experiencing at this moment.

Even the ride to the train station is quiet. You’ve opted to look out the window the entire time while holding his hand tightly. Jungkook lets you and Mingi stroll into work a little later today to tend to Yeosang, so Mingi’s in the driver’s seat. He chimes in a few times here and there, but otherwise, he keeps to himself. He does it because the few times he’s looked in the rear view mirror, he can hear you thinking. He can see the internal battle that’s going on, he can see you fighting yourself to stay collected. When on the inside, he knows you’ve already fallen apart.

“You have to come back, alright? We’ll miss you. We’ll wait for you to visit again.” Mingi says, pulling Yeosang into a hug before patting his back a few times and helping him with his luggage. Mingi steps away to give you two your moment, and all you do is throw your arms around Yeosang tightly. He whispers how much you mean to him and how much he’ll miss you against your head, telling you that he’ll wait for you to come to him and that he’ll always choose you. You look up at him and finally give him a few pecks to the lips, taking in every last bit of him before he goes.

“I love you.” He says lowly, and it makes you feel excited and sad at the same time to hear the words come out of his mouth.

“I love you, too.” You stick a few extra polaroids you’ve taken of him, the town, your friends and the both of you together in his jacket pocket before wrapping your arms around him tightly. It’s a hug that feels like the last time, and it shatters your heart into a million pieces knowing you won’t be able to do this tomorrow, and the next day, and the next. He leaves you with one last deep, passionate kiss. 

When his figure disappears into the station, you break down in Mingi’s arms, and he’s having to hold you, console you, for a good couple of minutes. He tries his best to coo you and calm you down, but he knows there’s nothing he can say or do to make this better at the moment. As much as he’d like to block you and save you from your own thoughts, he can’t. But, he holds you and holds you because it’s the best thing he can do as your friend right now.

“You’ll see him soon, things will fall into place again. Let’s get you home.” You quietly oblige, continuing to cry silently in the passenger’s seat once Mingi takes off and brings you home.

Yeosang hates it. He looks out the window of the train, watching the town drift away behind him. He feels his own tears pricking his bottom lids and he can’t help but quickly wipe away at it when the town gets further and further away. Separating from you was the worst thing he’s felt in awhile, even though he’ll see you soon. It’s just hard to have to go about his days without seeing you like he used to. It’ll be a big fucking adjustment.

He texts you during his train ride, checking in on you and making sure you’re okay. You don’t text him too quickly, and he suspects it’s because you’re having a hard time yourself. You do eventually respond though, and it puts a smile on his face that you still seem to be the same despite the circumstances.

“Look who’s back!” Wooyoung, Jongho and Chaerin stand there to welcome him back. He smiles at them, giving them all a big hug. It’s a big source of comfort for him right now.

“So, how was your trip?! Heard you were having a good ass time.” Jongho teases from the back seat, squeezing Yeosang’s shoulders. 

“We missed you.” Chaerin adds.

“I didn’t. I think that was just you.” Wooyoung teases and she flips him off.

“Fuck off Wooyoung.”

“I missed you guys, too. It was fun, though.”

“Tell us about Y/N.” Wooyoung smirks from the driver’s seat. “Do we get to meet her?”

“Yeah, maybe.” Yeosang smiles to himself at the thought of you before diving into the details of everything he’s done in town, all the people he met, Keeho, Mina, Jungkook and Mingi. They all grab dinner at a sushi spot in town, now giving Yeosang updates about what’s been going on at work and in their lives over the past month. Chaerin keeps close to him even though she’s torn about her feelings right now. Of course, she’s happy that Yeosang is happy. It’s all she wants. But, she won’t lie and say she’s okay because she’s not. Right now, she’ll push her feelings aside and welcome him home because she is glad to have him back. She knows he needs his friend more than anything. Overall, it’s a good dinner, and he’s happy to be back with his friends.

Afterwards, Wooyoung takes everyone home, bidding Yeosang farewell and telling him to sleep well before his first day back tomorrow. Yeosang lets out a sigh when he kicks off his shoes and sets his things aside. He immediately gets to showering before unpacking, neatly folding his clothes back into his closet unless he’s tossing them into his hamper. He looks around his empty apartment, grabbing a cold glass of water to drink before shutting off the lights. Settling at home feels.. weird, to say the least. Home is still home, and he finds comfort in that. But, home doesn’t feel as complete without you. 

He pads over to his room and finishes tidying up the last bit of his things before getting his clothes ready for tomorrow. He digs into his jacket hanging on his chair, pulling out the shell you gifted him earlier in the month and the polaroids you stuck into his pocket. He sets them down on the nightstand next to his bed, smiling to himself when he quickly flips through them. It’ll be a nice ‘lil reminder when he needs it the most, so he keeps it there. When he settles in bed, he grabs his phone to read your latest texts. He gets distracted and smiles when he sees your picture as his lockscreen, his numbers finding his way to your contact information and pressing the call button.

“Hey you.” He bites his lip hearing your voice on the other line.

“Hey baby.”

“Finished with your dinner?”

“Mhm. It was nice.”

“You tipsy, huh?” You giggle and it makes him crack an even bigger smile.

“Kinda, yeah. I miss you, pretty.”

“I miss you too, Sangie. I’m glad dinner was good. I’m sure your friends are happy to have you back.”

“Mm, they’re okay. How’s everything there?”

“Good. I just got home not too long ago from the restaurant. Trying to keep myself as busy as possible.” He lets out a breath, throwing his hand behind his head.

“I get that.”

“You ready to head back to work tomorrow?”

“Sheesh, hell no.” He laughs. “But, it was a good month away so I can’t really complain.”

“It’ll be fine, love.” You say softly and Yeosang’s heart soars; he can almost feel his heart ready to burst out of his chest.

“Mmyeah.”

“You should go to sleep.”

“Only if you come with.” You laugh. 

“Well, I am in bed. Can we fall asleep on the phone together?”

“Of course. I’ll probably be up early, though.”

“That’s fine. I know you’ll hang up and leave me for work.”

“Baby.” Yeosang kinda whines and you laugh a little louder.

“Kidding. I know, I know.”

“I can’t wait until I see you already.” Yeosang says sleepily, turning to his side as he plugs his phone into the charger.

“Same.”

“Damn.” Yeosang groans a bit, eyes getting heavy. “Fucking hate sleeping without you.”

“Go to sleep, tipsy.”

“I love you, Y/N.” You pause, swallowing the lump in your throat as you let his words marinate.

“I love you, too.” You respond, barely above a whisper. “Sleep well, Yeosang.”

The first day Yeosang steps back into the office, he’s greeted by a couple of people that are happy to have him back. Everyone compliments on the glow he’s sporting and how happy and refreshed he seems to be. He can’t help but shyly laugh about it, a red tint coloring his cheeks when he tells them he’s had a good time and that he might’ve met someone really special there. He sets his things down onto his desk, fixing up a few things before he heads towards the kitchen with his mug in hand. There are a few interns sitting in one of the main conference rooms, and Yeosang is able to get a good look at them on his way to the kitchen. They all look fairly young, as if they had just graduated. One sits at the far corner in a loose grey button up shirt tucked into his slacks, black frames sitting on his face. He gives Yeosang a tight-lipped smile when they accidentally make contact, making Yeosang give him a curt nod in response. 

“Hella interns.” Wooyoung throws his arm around Yeosang as they continue to walk to the kitchen. 

“Do we have one?”

“No. I think most of them are in R&D. Operations. A select few in marketing and media.”

“Cool.”

“So, when exactly are we going to meet Y/N?”

“She’s gonna come down in a few weeks.” He glares at Woo. “When she does, please don’t be all up in her space.” 

“Why not?” Woo laughs loudly. “I’m sure we’ll get along fine.” He smiles widely at his bestfriend. “Fucking champ, look at you. Not only did you get some, but you also got a girlfriend out of it.” Yeo nudges him in the chest as he grabs a cup of coffee.

“The hell is wrong with you, seriously.”

“She’s cute.” Wooyoung smiles as he picks up Yeosang’s phone resting on the counter. “Is Mina single?” Yeosang snatches the phone out of his grip and rolls his eyes.

As for the rest of the day, it goes by as normally as possible. Yeosang falls back into his routine quickly; the only change now being that he’s carved out time to talk to you on the phone or facetime you. All the things he does in a day, he does it with you in mind— he takes pictures to send to you and vice versa, he thinks of little things he can buy for you and surprise you with later. He cooks himself a good meal or two he imagines you’d like. So despite falling back into his usual routine, it’s more exciting this time around because he has you.

Over the days, weeks, leading up to the day he’d see you again, you were good about answering his calls and his texts. You’d send him pictures of yourself, or with your friends and he’d do the same. Sometimes, you’d send him the nastiest nudes and he wouldn’t know how to act, spending some hours late at night having phone sex with you, yearning for every inch of you. Everything made it easier to cope with the distance; every conversation feeling like the first. 

But as time got closer to the day you’d come down to visit him, you’d gotten busier. He didn’t think much of it, knowing you were always so cooped up at the restaurant or shelter. It did make him sad, especially when it’d be hours on end and he’d barely hear from you, or when you’d tell him you were too tired to talk for long. Still, Yeosang didn’t think anything was wrong. He couldn’t think anything was wrong because there wasn’t any telling sign that could point to a particular problem besides you being tired. He trusted you, though. He remained patient. Now that he thinks about it, maybe he shouldn’t have, maybe he should’ve pressed a little harder to keep your attention. Yeosang wishes he can rewind time— rewind time to when things felt perfect, when things felt so good and so new. So fresh. So beautiful. Especially when the day comes that he gets to see you again. Or so, he thought.

He wakes up to a rather early ‘goodmorning’ text from you, but that’s all there is to it. He sends a quick ‘can’t wait to see you’ in response before scrambling to get up and get ready for work. Despite being a few minutes late, he’s still happily walking around the office. He greets a few people goodmorning, which is a bit out of character for him, but he smiles it off anyway. Grabs his usual cup of coffee while running into a few of the new interns and carries on with his day.

“Is she coming?!” Jongho pops up at Yeosang’s desk while he’s deep into his pile of work, trying to get it all knocked out of the way so he can stroll up out of here sooner than later.

“Mhm! She should be on the way.”

“Dude, fuck work? Get outta here and get ready to see your girl.” Yeosang shakes his head and laughs. “You should’ve called in sick.”

“Yeah, cause they’d definitely let me do that after taking a whole month off.” Yeosang sighs. “All good, I’m almost done here anyway.”

“What’re you gonna do tonight?”

“Take her out for dinner, maybe catch a movie at the theater?”

“Cute. How long is she gonna stay for?”

“A week?”

“Then you’ll go back to see her a few weeks after?” Yeosang nods. “Damn. What about later on in the future? Have you guys discussed that far?” 

“No. But, we will. We’ll figure it out.”

“Let’s plan dinner with her tomorrow or something. Definitely before she leaves.” Yeo nods.

“Yeah, I’ll let her know. She said she really wants to meet you guys.”

“Never seen you this sappy before. Shit is crazy.” Jongho teases before Yeo playfully throws punches his way that he blocks.

Once Yeosang finishes up with work, he waves to his friends and hurries out of the building to make it to the flower shop before it closes.  He grabs a fresh, colorful bouquet, bringing it to his nose before smiling contently— imagining that pretty smile of yours, hearing that cute giggle of yours ringing in the air. 

It had been too long, and Yeosang couldn’t wait to have you back in his arms.

He checks his watch and realizes he’ll be running a few minutes late if he doesn’t hurry and book it to the meeting spot you two had agreed on earlier in the week. He quickly sends you a text to let you know he’s on his way to the spot and shoves his phone into his pocket without giving it a second look. Yeosang picked a spot that wasn’t entirely far from work and right next to a restaurant he made reservations for tonight. At the end of the bridge that joins two streets together, he’d hopefully find you there.

❊ FLASHBACK

“Did you get the link I just sent you?” Yeosang asks on the phone, and you pull up the address to the restaurant he forwarded.

“Mhm! I should go here?”

“Tell the taxi to drop you off across the street, there’s a passenger drop-off area. The restaurant is on the other side of the bridge. I’ll be there.”

“Okay.

“I’m sorry I can’t pick you up at the station, love.” He says defeatedly. “I’m just getting out of work at that time.”

“That’s okay, I can make my way around like a big girl.” You laugh. 

“Can’t wait to kiss you and hold you again.”

“I can’t wait either.”

❊ END

He gets there and he’s half-relieved you haven’t arrived yet, or else he would’ve felt terrible for making you wait. He brushes himself off a bit, holding the bouquet close to his chest while he waits; scanning the surroundings for any sign of you. Everytime he catches sight of a taxi dropping off passengers across the street, he holds his breath; both nervous and excited to see your face after weeks of seeing you solely over the phone. But, nothing.

He looks down at his watch and realizes 15 minutes have passed, and they have been the longest 15 minutes he’s known to ever endure. He’s slightly worried as to why you haven’t arrived yet, dumbing it down to the fact that maybe your train was late. Or, that there was a ton of traffic on the way over [since it is rush hour time]. He waits. And he waits. 

15 minutes turns into 30, and Yeosang finds himself sitting on a bench when it nears 45 minutes. The little light of hope he once had was quickly diminishing; his heart breaking, crumbling to pieces. Those sharp edges cutting into him deep, making him feel sick to his stomach as he sets the bouquet down on the floor when it reaches the hour mark. You weren’t here. You weren’t ever going to be here.

Even though he continues to wait, pulling his phone in and out of his pocket to check if he somehow missed you, missed a call, a text. It’s then that he realizes the text never even went through, that your number was no longer a blue bubble, but green. He feels his hands trembling, lips releasing a shaky breath he had been holding onto; the only thing he’s had left in him. Because he loved you, and he still does, even though tonight showed that maybe, you didn’t feel the same. And what hurts the most for Yeosang is that he’s not sure if you ever did because clearly, you were never his.

❊ taglist: @asjkdk @bintificreads @woojirang @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs // — (part two here)

[lindszeppelin]

Ooooooh I feel seen by this pappiaustin and Amanda etc convo and wanna join the chat!

1. The give everyone a bad name, both those in the “they’re PR” camp and those who just don’t like them together and think their energy is off. Beyond insane behaviors.

2. 💀 at the burner accounts talking to each other like they aren’t the same person. I love how we all know this but they pretend they’re getting one over on us! Like, make it less obvious and don’t TALK IN ALL CAPS randomly and don’t use the same insults (calling someone “thick” for not agreeing etc). It is a little entertaining though and I’m almost sad they’ve toned it down, but you’re right as their other comments about other subjects are usually quite wild. 👀

3. Once Pappi defended Amanda against a commenter by saying she had special needs and she came in hot saying that she just had ADD or maybe it was ADHD. Like you, I wanna be a bit mindful bc I’m not convinced that’s the only thing wrong and I feel for her. But she also loses me bc she bullied others and when they clap back she says they bully her. That’s become kinda hard to watch in all honestly bc poor girl has her full name and face to all of her receipts…

4. Are you on Reddit? I used to be in the Austin butler land one and couldn’t stay bc I actually found that fandom annoying with virtually no understanding how Hollywood works and they project some weird stuff onto Austin as well as A&K BUT the one thing I’ll always love them for is they did call Mollie once the pappiaustin of the A&K shippers hahahahaha. Even they think she’s delusional and needs to get a life! 😂💀😂💀😂

yeah the burner accounts and the talking in all caps is a lot lol. she won't ever admit she uses burner accounts so at this point i think we just gotta watch the train leave the station and wish it bon voyage lol.

honestly i just still don't feel comfortable talking about amanda incase she is on the spectrum or if there's something else involved. i don't follow the drama about that stuff closely, so idk what she has done if she's bullied others. that's a hard one. i want to be respectful if she is mentally impaired. and im gonna leave it at that to be honest.

i barely browse reddit but i have in the past scrolled through the threads. most of the people in there are shippers. and one of them in particular knows way too much about austin's personal things like she found out some things about the house he used to live in, the address, etc. and she never said she's in the industry with connections to info like that, that she is just a fandom person. the stalking that most fans do is just fucking nuts. it makes me so uncomfortable. it's too much information that should not be made public.

[sunnyie-eve]

10 | Festival

Series: Valentine Addams | Wednesday

Paring: (Xavier Thorpe x OFC Addams! Tyler Galpin x OFC Addams!)

Word Count: 1514

Warnings: fighting about Tyler, connecting, light flirting

9. Boys... | 11. Know What I Saw

"You making your great escape tonight?" I joke walking into Wednesday and Enid's room. 

"Yes. You're friend Tyler is diving me to the train station." She tells me. 

"When did you ask him?" I ask confused since he hasn't told me about doing this. 

"A day ago or something." She tells me. 

"Oh, okay." I nod my head. 

"Xavier is looking for you." Enid comes into the room so I roll my eyes. 

"Enid, have you seen Valentine?" Xavier knocks on the door. 

I glare at her so she won't tell him. "I have to open the door." She goes towards it door so I rush to the window going outside to hide. "No, I haven't seen her. Wednesday?" I hear Enid ask. 

"No, I haven't but seeing how she's avoiding you I would advise you to simply give up on trying." Wednesday tells him. 

"If you see her can you please tell her to come by or try to find me tonight." I hear Xavier leave.

"Why are you still ignoring him if he wants to make up?" Enid asks as I come back into the room. 

"Because he doesn't actually mean it. He'll still bring up Tyler and why am I friends with him." I roll my eyes. 

"Then just ignore him when he does. You know Tyler differently so forget what Xavier says about him." Enid shrugs her shoulders. 

"I guess you're right." I huff leaving the room. 

Outside though Xavier was waiting with his arms crossed, "I knew you were hiding in there because Enid was smiling when she opened the door like she had a secret." He says making me throw my head back. "I'm sorry for making you mad." He sighs as I walk to my room. 

"But you'll keep bringing him up as long as I'm friends with him so really you'll never be sorry." I turn to face him. 

"What if I promise I'll try my best not to. Even though I hate that you're friends with him... at least he's good to you." He sighs. "Please forgive me."  He stares at me. 

"Ugh, I forgive you." I tell him making him smile and hug me so I step out of it, "No." I make a face shaking my head. 

"Got it, not a hugger. Wanna hangout later at the Harvest Festival?" He asks me.

 "I'll think about it if Enid doesn't drag me around." I tell him and continue my way to my room.

-

When we all get to the festival I stand with Wednesday and Enid looking at Tyler with his dad. "Val I know your good friends with that normie but are you sure you can trust him?" Enid asks Wednesday. 

"I trust that I can handle myself. And I doubt he would do anything to Valentine's sister." Wednesday tells her. 

"Well good luck and safe travels." Enid tries to hug Wednesday again, "Still not a hugger. Got it. I'm going to find Yoko." Enid leaves us. 

"How are you shaking Weems off you?" I ask Wednesday. 

"I'm thinking." She walks away so I follow her to a game, "You really trust your friend?" Wednesday starts to throw the darts at the balloons. 

"Tyler's never given me a reason not to." I do the same as her, "He was the first person I really opened up to..." I sigh popping every balloon with her.

"Jeez, you two get any better at this, you'll be taking home a whole pack." Xavier shows up on the other side of me. 

"Pandas don't travel in packs. They prefer their solitude." Wednesday says not paying attention to him. 

"All right. Subtle hint taken." He nods his head. 

"She's waiting for someone. I'm just here till then." I tell him. 

"Oh, yeah, who's the lucky guy... or girl?" He asks. 

"What does it matter to you?" She asks as Tyler shows up so I give him a smile. 

"Didn't mean to interrupt." Tyler speaks up. "

You're not. Ready?" Xavier looks at him then me. 

"Huh? I'll find you in a minute." I say so he walks off annoyed making me roll my eyes at him.

"This is gonna be trickier than I thought. Dad hit me with a curfew. We need to go if I'm gonna make it back in time." Tyler let's Wednesday know. 

"She kinda has dead weight she need to lose first." I let him know as the carny hands me a big panda. 

"Meet me behind the parking lot when the fireworks start. Valentine go with him so Weems doesn't think you're helping me right now." Wednesday tells us so I nod my head. 

Tyler nods his head as well talking my arm walking us off as I carry my big panda, "Is Xavier going to be mad you aren't going off to find him?" Tyler asks letting go of my arm. 

"He'll get over. Not really but who cares." I mess with my panda as we get to the parking lot. 

"I went though dads stuff and found this. It's your dad's police file." He hands me a file and I open it and scan over it before closing it. 

"What if he goes back to look at this and it's gone?" I look up at him. 

"He'll get on me but oh well." He gives me a smile.

"Thank you for this. Wednesday will appreciate it as well." I give him a genuine smile. 

"I saw the looks on your faces and I figured you two would like to know more information. Plus you're my only friend and I'd do anything for you." His eyes don't leave mine and my body acts on it own. I drop the panda letting my arms snake around his waist hugging him. He gets tense for a second before for hugging me back, "I didn't take you as a hugger." He chuckles so I get out of the hug, 

"This stays between us." I pick the panda back up. 

"Got it." He laughs as Wednesday shows up. 

"Tyler got this for us. It's dad's police file." I hand the file over to her so she takes it. 

"I'm not used to people engaging with me. Especially with Valentine. Most see us coming and cross the street." Wednesday speaks up looking at Tyler so he looks at me. 

"You guys aren't scary. Just kinda... kooky." He smiles. 

"We prefer spooky." I look offended making him chuckle.

"Now my train leaves in an hour. We're burning moonlight. I know as much as you don't want to... go find Xavier so Weems can see your with him so you can say you have no idea where I am." Wednesday tells me. 

"Okay... Good luck, love." I squeeze her hand before jogging off to find Xavier. 

"There you are." I pop up next to him which startles him. "What does Tyler want with your sister?" He asks. 

"Taking her to the train station. Don't tell Weems." I glare at him before looking away to see Tyler and Wednesday running. She bumps into Rowan and I can tell she has a vision before running after him. "Hold this." I give the panda to Xavier to go over to Tyler. "What happened to leaving?" I ask looking off where she ran. 

"Lucas and the boys showed up. Tried to lose them in the crowd now she ran off." He explains to me. 

"Ugh!" I run after her. "Wednesday!" I call out running into the woods. 

I hear talking so I follow and see Rowan using his powers holding Wednesday up against the tree. "Rowan!" I shout at him but he uses his other hand to fling me away. I hit another tree groaning getting up to see a creature grab him. 

Wednesday falls and I rush over to her as we watch Rowan get killed. The creature looks back at us and growling before running off. Wednesday goes over to Rowan while I stare at where the creature ran off to. 

"What the hell is going on!" I shout before touching my head to see blood. 

"We need to get help." Wednesday grabs my hand dragging me off with her. As soon as we reach everyone I fall to the ground fainting.

The next thing I know I wake up in the infirmary with Wednesday sitting next to me in a different bed. "I fainted after you and after telling Bianca." She looks over at me. 

"Why did Rowan attack you?" I sit up. 

"Said I was destined to ruin the school. Said it was possible for you too but I was 100 percent since his mother told him." She gets out of the bed. 

"Ruin the school? How?" I was super confused so she shows me a drawing that looked like her. 

"That's you 100 percent because that's your hair not mine. But I could be possible?" I say making my head hurt getting out of bed too. 

"I'm staying here to get to the bottom of everything. That's the only reason." She says as we leave to go to our rooms. 

"I believe you."

[pxmun]

Back at Knapford, Cleo was giving Thomas a nice relaxing washdown after a long day of working on his branch line. Cleo and Thomas’s crew also gave Annie and Clarabelle a good cleaning, which they were very grateful for. As Cleo was finishing up drying Thomas off, they heard Spencer’s whistle as he approached the station. “Oh bother! The day had been going so well to”! Thomas grumbled; he didn’t feel like putting up with the silver engines snooty attitude. “Hello, you two, having an evening wash I see tiny Thomas.” Spencer said smugly. “Hello Spencer.” The two friends said annoyed. “Now, now, is that any way to treat an engine who has come bearing gifts”? Spencer asked. “Wait, you’ve brought us gifts”? Thomas asked surprised. “Well not for you Thomas, this delivery is meant for young Cleo.” Spencer answered. “You got me a gift”? Cleo said skeptically. “Yes, straight from Shining Time Station I present.....” Spencer trailed off as he realized he hadn’t asked his passengers for their names. “These two fellows.” Spencer sheepishly announced. From Spencer’s cab, Billy Twofeathers and Schemer stumbled out onto the platform. Schemer was still trying to recover from the journey and the whole magic fiasco, however once he saw his granddaughter, Schemer miraculously made a quick recovery. “Piggybank”! Schemer called out as he rushed over to Cleo. “Grandpa”! Cleo shouted in both surprise and glee as Schemer scooped her up into his arms for a big hug. Billy grinned as he walked up to the pair. “Billy? What are you two doing on Sodor”? Cleo asked. “We were looking for you and your brothers, the three of you just vanished without a trace and caused everyone back at Shining Time to panic.” Billy responded. Cleo realized the big mistake her and her brothers had made. She had a look of deep guilt on her face from making her Shining Time family worried sick. “Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry”! Cleo cried. Billy joined in on the hug. “Hey, we’re just glad that your safe Cleo.” Schemer comforted. Schemer looked around Knapford station and at all the sentient engines that passed by. “Though I can see why, this place is kinda, kinda  freaky in all honesty.” Schemer admitted. “It’s alright grandpa, the engines freaked me out at first too, but then I got to know Thomas and we've been great friends since.” Cleo assured as she lead schemer and Billy towards the tank engine in question. Thomas looked on in curiosity as Cleo walked up to him with the two visitors. “Thomas, I want you to meet our grandpa Schemer and our family friend Billy Twofeathers! This is my engine friend Thomas, he can be cheeky at times, but he is a really useful engine.” Cleo complimented. Thomas smiled at his friend’s kind words before turning his attention to Cleo’s family. “Hello! It’s great to finally be meeting Cleo and her brothers family”! Thomas greeted cheerfully. Billy spoke up first. “It’s an honor meeting you Thomas, I heard some stories about you and your friends' adventures.” Billy said. “Thank you Mr. Twofeathers.” Thomas replied, but suddenly realized something. “Wait, Sodor has been cut off from your realms for a really long time, how would you know about my adventures”? Thomas asked surprised and confused. Billy turned to Cleo. “Your mother had always planned on telling you and your brothers, but ever since her passing and the incident at the station. Stacy and I thought at the time it best to keep the magic of Shining Time Station.” Billy started. Cleo sat down on Thomas’s footplate to listen, her grandpa Schemer taking the spot next to her as they listened to Billy. “When Stacy inherited the Shining Time Station from her grandmother, she discovered that it was very special compared to other train stations. For you see this station had magic, real magic and the one responsible for connecting that magic to Shining Time Station was Mr. Conductor. An eighteen-inch man from Sodor who lived at the station and helped your mother, her cousin, and their friends with life lessons through the adventures of the engines on Sodor.” Billy told the two. Both Schemer and Cleo were both in awe as Billy finished his tale. “But as you know the incident at Shining Time Station happened and after that Mr. C left with Stacy to California. Then one day he just disappeared, and we haven’t heard from him since.” Billy concluded. Cleo was complete shock as she couldn’t believe that her family had a connection to Sodor. Thomas on the other hand was utterly amazed. “I can't believe it! You had a connection to Sodor all this time”! Thomas said smiling. Cleo was still speechless, she didn’t know what to think, part of her wanted to join her friend in the excitement, while the other part felt saddened that she couldn't share her and her brothers journeys with their mother. Schemer pulled his granddaughter in for a hug, he knew how much Kara had loved her kids and that Cleo didn’t have the chance to make as many memories with her like Romeo and Darius. Billy took sat on the other side of Cleo, gently rubbing her back with a comforting hand. Thomas realized his mistake and gave a sad wheesh of steam. “I’m sorry Cleo, I didn’t mean to upset you.” Thomas apologized. “You don’t need to apologize Thomas; I understand your excitement. I just wish mom was here to meet you and the others.” Cleo said as she removed her glasses to wipe away a tear from her eye. By now, Schemer let go of Cleo. “I know one thing kid, if your mother was here, she would be so amazed by you and your brothers adventures on this island.” Schemer comforted. Cleo hugged her grandpa. “Thanks grandpa.” Cleo smiled. “Hey don’t mention it. Now, why don't you tell us about your and Thomas’s adventures”? Schemer said. Cleo brightened up as she retold her and her brothers adventures with their friends. From their first day on the island, meeting the engines and discovering the magic whistles, helping Thomas on his branch line, learning about Dinah and Wendell,  Ulfstead castle, meeting the magic engine Lady, and fighting off Diesel 10. “As of now, Thomas and I are currently looking for the original Hatt house where we’re hoping to find the complete story of Dinah and Wendell.” Cleo told Schemer and Billy. She looked over to Holly and Spencer, the latter being enchanted by Cleo and Thomas’s adventures.  “Hey Holly and Spencer, would you two want to join us in our adventure? We can have a sleepover and go exploring.” Cleo offered. Holly lit up with glee, she hadn’t been to a slumber party for a very long time and getting to spend the night on Sodor with Spencer was the cherry on top. “I’d love to! Though I need to ask my dads first to see if it would be alright.” Holly replied. “The Scheme man can help in that department; I can talk to your pops and see if we can arrange something.” Schemer said. “Really! Thank you so much Mr. Schemer”! Holly said gratefully. Thomas spoke to Cleo. “So, how are we going to start our search for the original house of Sir Topham Hatt’s family”? Thomas asked. “That’s what I’m still trying to that figure out. I was surprised to find a map of Sodor from that time, and although it is a fantastic lead, the main problem is trying to find it with all the changes Sodor as gone through since Dinah’s time. Plus, the hands of time probably decayed Dinah’s home.” Cleo answered. “You’re trying to find Dinah’s home”? Came a voice. “We can help with that.” Another voice added. From out of the lost and found baggage area, the boy brothers Tex and Rex emerged. Schemer shrieked like a little girl at the sight of the twin cowboy puppets. “You two knew Dinah”? Spencer asked skeptical. “We not only knew her, but we also had our first little public gig with her.” replied Tex. “Ethan would throw weekend hootenanny’s during the construction of the North Western Railway to help keep the workers spirits up and as a thank you for all their hard work.” Rex added. “Dinah would bring out her accordion and the three of us would have the wildest time of our lives.” Tex said. “So, you two know the way to the Hatt house then”? Cleo asked hopeful. “We not only know it, but we’ve also got the directions to that place engraved in our memories.” Rex replied. “Just one little thing though.” Tex interrupted. Both the girls and the engines looked at each other in confusion before Tex continued. “You're going to need a horse.” Tex said. Now the group really was confused.

[eienoah]

May 15 - Guest lecture, Musashi Daigaku

Welcome back to day 10 of being in Japan and today we took a short trip over to musashi daigaku to do a class with a teacher teaching Japanese students. The train ride was about 45 minutes over but it felt super short cause I was gaming. We arrived and greeted the teacher and a couple of coordinators then walked over to the room. The teacher gave us a little time to write some things about the future and then the students started filling into the classroom. I talked to a couple of them (Sana and Amu). They were super nice and easy to talk to so it was really easy to start talking to more people after they heard I could speak Japanese. From then we went outside to converse a bit more with the students and I got to meet a couple others talking in both English and Japanese. Everyone was super good at English too which kind of surprised me. Like I’m not talking about normal good I mean like if they lived in America I would’ve thought they always lived there good. I then went and played a little bit of basketball with some of the students and there was one freshman that kept spiderman posing everytime he would shoot. It was hilarious cause he would keep calling out, “this is a Japanese shoot” whenever he made a basket. If one of us made it he would yell, “that is American shoot”. After that we went back in the room, grabbed our stuff and headed over for some food. I got a beef and rice bento style thing which was pretty good and spent my whole time talking to the Japanese students in Japanese. It was amazing. After that we had to leave which was incredibly annoying because I had only just made these new friends. I didn’t even get to hang out with them at all. We then went to Tokyo station in what felt like an incredibly random detour for another college’s students to give us a tour. Me, Rich, and Zach’s guide was late which gave me the perception he was either incredibly cool or incredibly lame. He was not incredibly cool, let’s just put it that way. We kinda just stumbled around the station doing nothing for like 30 minutes before we walked over to the line for some city that was so unnoticeable I don’t even remember the name. We met up with Luke and Griffin on the way and us 7 kinda just walked around. We settled in at Starbucks for an incredibly boring hour or so before heading back and leaving right away once we dropped the guides off. I wish we could have stayed for longer with the Musashi students. They seem like they actually wanted to talk to us. Later in the day a couple of us went thrifting and to a beef bowl place which was pretty good but not much else mentionable. 

Reading Connection

Today's readings had to do with future predictions. I’m just gonna be up front, I would never take that class in my life. The whole point of the class kind of seems to dance around the idea of making the perfect future. That in itself is not possible so you have to picture a future that is as close to a perfect future as possible without being one. But, doesn’t that defeat the point of it being perfect. I really couldn’t tell you exactly what I thought of it but the little reading we did has continued to do this whole dance of “you can only get so close” for all of it. I don’t even know what knowledge I took away from the class. It kind of felt like I was just learning about common sense things that even a middle schooler could tell you. The professor was nice though so that kind of made up for it.

[rinskirt]

does ami still know how to use tumblr?

i figured i could start journaling again. tbh i always liked long-form journaling a lot more than short-form blurbs and updates. twitter is more for memers, or people who like to make big, bold statements. i like to flesh things out, or think in pointless circles, which usually means 10-tweet threads no one asked for cluttering up their timelines. my posts aren't funny, or entertaining. i feel like i come off as really annoying on twitter. which for a long time has sucked and made me use of the site unpleasant. especially since it seemed like the last one left. but with twitter falling, where else is there to go?

i wish we could just bring back livejournal. i feel like the way hey separated things into communities--so you weren't forced to get annoyed over memes that aren't even for you in the first place, or diatribes about ships that are only logical and enjoyable to the people who ship them--was sincerely superior. i miss it. sadly, i don't know if it will ever come back since social media prioritizing engagement means the more people who see something, the better--even more so if it starts a fight because that will mean even MORE engagement, and even MORE clicks, and the cycle just keeps going.

tbh, for a couple years now i've been thinking it would, mentally, be so much better for me if i just quit social media. then i wouldn't have to see my friends' super exciting lives while i'm sitting home alone for the nth weekend in a row. it would mean less comparing myself to other people. more time to spend on doing things that would actually better my life. but it's a scary thought. because i'm so used to social media, so used to relying on the constant presence of others, would i still reach out to people? do i even know how to reach out to people anymore, without just screaming into the void that is twitter and hoping someone hears? will everyone forget i ever existed if they no longer see my tweets? or, worse, will they actually be glad i'm not on their feed anymore? would leaving social media just mean i'm alone from here on out?

idk. this is the dumb shit that haunts me. i grew up on the internet and on social media--was a part of the first generation to do so--so it's hard to envision my life without it. (really, social media is probably why my ability to reach out to others is so stunted...) plus, as an otaku, you kind of need social media to connect to others who share your interest. at least, you do if you're not an intensely outgoing extrovert. which i am most definitely not.

going to the genshin concert made me long so much for at least one actual flesh-and-blood friend who would want to go with me to stuff like that. i had so many feelings and thoughts that i just stewed over the entire walk back to the station, and then the hour and a half train ride home. all around me were people discussing it excitedly during every intermission, but i just kinda sat there and stared into space, listening to everyone around me talk, taking in all their thoughts and feelings and not being able to share any of my own.

i'm not someone who minds doing things alone. i think because of who i am, and the life i live, and the illness i've been dealt, i couldn't survive if i wasn't willing to do things alone. i feel like maybe that's a very lonely thing to say, and a very lonely way to think, but it's just my reality. i decided to abandon my entire life in the states where i already didn't have a ton of friends, and i came to a place where most of the people are just as shy and unwilling to reach out to strangers as i am. plus i continue in this limbo of moderately-okay-but-not-great japanese, at the level where you plateau if you don't speak much. and i don't speak much. i have a lot of trauma around speaking. it takes a very safe atmosphere to coax it out of me.

i was considering starting a journaling style that i saw recommended, where rather than writing, you record yourself speaking your thoughts and feelings. and while i know that would probably be very therapeutic and helpful for me in the long run, i haven't been able to bring myself to do it. in a book i've been reading lately, "the body keeps the score" by bessel van der kolk, he discusses how trauma freezes the part of the brain that processes language, and makes it hard to actually discuss what you're feeling. that's always been a problem for me. i don't want to talk about things. i don't want to put certain feelings and thoughts into the world. i don't even know how. not even to my phone in the privacy of my home.

but i do want to try it, if i can get myself to that point. i really do want to get better. i want so badly to stop being afraid of everyone in my life, of being abandoned by them, or being hated by them if i open up and show them the worst of me. if i admit how lost and sad and trapped i feel a lot of the time. i feel like i look like such a negative person, such a bitchy and whiny sadsack of a human, but it's because i'm afraid of everything. i'm like that annoying small dog that's so afraid you're going to kick it and so it makes itself as unpleasant to be around as possible so you just leave it be. if no one likes me, if everyone just leaves me alone, i'm safe. i can't be hurt anymore.

for how sad this journal entry comes off, though, i feel like i've been in an okay place mentally lately. the fact that i've been going out and doing stuff again is a sign of that. for a long while i remembered the first year i was in japan, how excited i was to go out and just do things, even if i had no one to do them with. but sometime around covid, that started slipping away--i stopped leaving my apartment until i was invited out, and stopped going to restaurants and shops and events unless someone would hold my hand. but i'm finally in a place where i feel like i've started to rebuild a bit.

i've been thinking a lot lately about what my priorities are, and what i can do to achieve those things, so i can have some semblance of peace and stability in my life. and right now, i feel like i want to just prioritize the idea of feeling good about myself and good about my life. i worked so hard to get to where i am now, and it feels like such a waste to be living it miserably. and while part of me can't help but feel like being miserable is just the hand i was dealt with my anxious, weird brain, i want to try to do something about it. i don't want to just continue to be sad about things and let those things fester even if they're things that can be changed.

so for now, i'll change the things that are in my power to change--my diet, my sleeping habits, getting enough exercise, doing more of the things i enjoy, cutting out more of the things that make me miserable (no matter how fun and addictive they seem in the moment...), and just being kinder to myself if i fail in any of those at any given moment. i want to feel like i am some power over my life again, however little.

anyway. now that i've made myself cry writing this, i need to run to the store. but it truly is therapeutic to actually type all this out. i enjoyed it. i missed journaling. i'll have to do this more often.

[bgyuus]

"ı Ɩơ۷ɛ ყơų"  

suna rintarou x fem! reader 

i just wanted to write some fluff but it got bad :( 

cw: badly written fluff, some smut in the end, soft sex, public sex, angst (?), fluff, suna is kinda like the quiet type in here, just two teenagers dealing with their hormones, unedited writing. 

"Hey y/n, he's staring at you again," 

Your blonde friend, Rika, leaned in to whisper into your ear. You took a glance behind your seat. Both of your eyes widened at the sudden eye contact. You quickly turned your face away, praying that he didn't saw your cheeks burning in embarrassment and shyness. 

"Is y/n blushing? Wow, never thought you'd be flustered over something- or someone," a very familiar voice rang from the right side of your seat. You turned to face him and nearly yelped at how close your faces were. You felt your face burning up again. Ugh, how you hate this one cocky bastard. Atsumu smirked at your flustered face. "Staring at Rin-rin again, aren't 'cha?" he asked with a teasing tone, the smirk still not leaving his face. "What?! I wasn't staring, he stared at me first," you stated, crossing your arms. Atsumu laughed at your outburst. He opened his mouth to say something but the bell cut him off. "Y/n, let's go eat outside for today!" two of your female friends came and dragged you away, without giving you any chance to say goodbye to Atsumu. (not that you wanted to anyway lol). 

"So, I heard Suna likes you, y/n," the blonde said, nudging your side playfully. "N-no, you've must be mistaken, plus Yuri likes him, don't you, Yuri-chan?" you asked, trying not to sound nervous. Yuri glances at you from across the table. "The hell- why would I like him, I like his friend, Osamu better," she shrugged as she continued to eat her lunch. "Well, he's not my type," Rika said, stuffing her face with some bun. The two started to talk about who's taste in men is better. You sat there, listening and debating with your two friends. 

Sooner or later, the school period was over. You were packing up your things when you felt a presence standing beside you. The height and the soft smell of his cologne made you tense up. Slowly glancing up to face him, your eyes widened. Ugh, how you hate making eye contact with him.  The both of you stood there, staring into each other's eyes until you cleared your throat, breaking the awkward silence. Suna raised an eyebrow at your action. Your cheeks were tinted with red hues (he can see that y'know) and your hands were fiddling with the hem of your skirt. Were you feeling uncomfortable with him? Probably all of that staring caught her off guard and now she thinks I'm a pervert, he panicked silently. 

"Wanna go back together since we live nearby," he said, rubbing the nape of his neck. Your cheeks continued to burn up, which is definitely not helping you to calm down. Without saying a word, you nodded as an answer. Suna's expression softened but quickly tensed up when you looked up to face him again. You both walked down the stairs in silence- it was a different type of silence now. It was a nice type of silence, the comfortable one. Your heart was still beating fast, you swear that it could burst any moment now if there isn't any way to escape this. "Oh, Y/n! Suna! Can you help carry these back to my table?" a sensei called out. "I'll do it!" you quickly volunteered, leaving Suna's side. The taller boy looked at you, telepathically asking "need a hand?" You smiled and waved him off. "You can go now, Suna. I've got this," you smiled as Suna nodded and walked in the opposite direction. 

As you were carrying the books back to the teacher's lounge, you breathed out a sigh of relief. The rapid heartbeats began to calm down, now thumping at their own normal pace. Your heated cheeks finally cooled down. After placing the books and exiting the office, your heart started to quicken its pace again. There he was, leaning against the lockers, eyes glued to the screen of his phone. Your cheeks started to heat up again as the boy's eyes trailed towards you. "Finally, it took me a year to wait for you," he teased, making you cross your arms. "Well it's not my fault this school has many pathways," you shot him back. Suna stifled a laugh at your remark. With only that made your stomach burst with a thousand butterflies. "Hey, come on now, let's go home," he said, handing out his hand for you to take. 

Your eyes widened at his action. Suna cocked an eyebrow at you. "If you don't want to then fine," he said, bringing his hand back to his side. The hurt tone coming from his voice made your reflexes act up. You quickly grabbed his hand and rushed out of the school grounds. The both of you walked in silence as you reached the station. Suna glanced at your interwinding hands and smirked. "You like me that much, huh?" he asked in a teasing tone. "Wha-," with widened eyes, you swiftly let go of his hand, cheeks burning up in embarrassment.  Suna laughed, gaining attention from some of the people nearby. "Aw, they sure do look cute together! They've gotta be a couple!" a lady gushed to her friend. Upon hearing that, you stomped on Suna's foot, making him yelped in pain. "Shut up," you said, annoyed and embarrassed at what had happened. 

As you both were waiting for the train, the previous lady's voice rang through her head. "They've gotta be a couple!" You lowered your head as your cheeks burned up at the thought of you and Suna being one. Glancing towards the taller boy, you took in his image. He was definitely tall, just the height that you've always wanted for a boy as your boyfriend. His posture is- isn't that bad. His brown hair shining in the sunset evening. His shoulders were broad and you silently bet that he has abs, he's the school's volleyball player after all. His hands, oh my god his hand. They were even bigger than yours. His skin looked so smooth, you didn't realize that you were holding his hand right now. Suna gave you a puzzled look as you quickly let go, bowing many times and saying that you were sorry for being such a weirdo. 

The boy chuckled in response. You were about to stomp on his foot again when he suddenly pulled you closer to his chest, hands placed on your back, trapping you against him, not wanting you to let go. Your cheeks were now heating up at an alarming rate, your heart was as if it was racing in a 100-meter race. He was hugging you. The light smell of his cologne surprisingly calmed your rapid heartbeats and your burning cheeks. You slowly wrapped your arm around his body, hugging him back. A smile plastered across Suna's face. He didn't know how he got himself into this mess actually.

"She's cute," Atsumu said to his group of friends, which Suna is in it too. The brunette glanced at the way his friend mentioned. There she was, y/n, the well-known polite girl of his grade during middle school. You were walking with Rika and Yuri, chatting away. You both locked eyes for a moment when you shot him a smile and walked off with your friends. At that moment, Suna didn't really quite understand why his heart was beating fast. When he explained this to Atsumu, the blonde only said "You have a crush on her! Go on ask her out or something!" he excitedly said. Suna winced at the thought of you turning him down but you wouldn't know if you don't try, right? 

One evening, he walked up to you, but you were occupied with none other than Atsumu. He waited for you to deal with Atsumu when he heard the blonde said: "Will you go out with me?" Suna's stomach dropped. Why would he- "Oh, I'm sorry Atsumu, but I'm busy for the rest of the week," you answered honestly, bowing lightly and walked away. Suna was about to call out to you but you turned into another hall. 

Honestly, he really wanted to confess to you but there was always something bothering the chance for him to do so. Like how you're always surrounded by your friends. You're always in everyone's attention. It's not like Suna can blame you though, you were popular back in the days anyway. But that doesn't stop his feelings from liking you. Now that he's in the same high school- and in the same class, he can finally confess. 

The boy let you go with his hands now cupping your cheeks. His green olive-like eyes stared into your (insert eye color lol) ones. His thumb caressed your cheeks gently wiping away a tear. Wait, what is this feeling, you thought. Suna's eyes darted from yours to your lips. Your heart skipped a beat as he closed his eyes and leaned down towards you. You closed the gap between you and as your lips were on his, everything started to move in slow motion. The sakura flowers moved around in the breeze making the scene as if you were in a movie. Suna bit your lower lip gently, making you slowly opening your mouth for his tongue to explore. 

His left hand moved down under your skirt, gripping your ass ever so gently. You yelped softly, pushing Suna off of you rather harshly. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Suna apologized over and over again. You looked at his flustered face. His eyes were clouded with want and need. And you couldn't help but slowly look down towards his pants. Ah shit, you cursed silently. There was a tent growing in his pants and you couldn't help blush at the dirty thoughts going through your head. "Oh, y-you don't have to worry about this, I'll just handle this myself," Suna laughed it off as the doors off the train opened. Your cheeks burned red again. Suna laughed as he grabbed your hand and entered the train. You frowned at his actions and dragged him out from the train to the nearest bathroom. 

"I'm sorry, y/n, it's just-" he got cut off by your lips smashing into his. Both tongues fighting for dominance. Suna pushed you, your back hitting the nearest wall. A breathy moan left your lips, hands reaching and gripping his hair, deepening the kiss. Finally letting go in need of oxygen, Suna rested his forehead against yours, saliva connecting at both of your mouths. "I can't," he panted, breathing oxygen back into his lungs. Your hand caressed his cheek. "It's okay, I- let me help you,"  you offered in a small voice. The boy's eyes widened. "Eh? No no, it's okay! You don't have to!" it was his turn now to be flustered. 

Never would you thought you'd be in a position like this. Never at all. Skirt hunched up to your stomach, back placed against the bathroom mirror, and Suna's dick deep inside of you. Not to mention that your first time was with your crush and in a public bathroom. If someone found out, you both will be in deep trouble, no shit. "Y/n, 'm gonna cum," the boy panted after multiple times thrusting into your pussy. He pulled out and released his seed onto your thighs, slowly panting for air. He kissed your sweaty forehead, lovingly. 

"I love you," he said and he did. 

[paintingwithdarkness]

"i run the night slot on campus radio and some jackass keeps calling in to insult my music taste and request high school musical songs instead” with BluePulse please!

“Good evening, Tigers! You’re listening to Houston U’s nightly segment. I’m your host, Jaime Reyes. Y’all just listened to ‘Today is the Day’ by Yo La Tengo. Next up we have ‘Seven Nation Army’ by The White Stripes.” Jaime pressed a button on the console in front of him, starting the next song before adding on to his commentary. “If anyone has any requests, don’t hesitate to call in!”

Jaime switched off his microphone and let the song play, flopping back in his chair. Running the night segment of the Houston University campus radio was a pretty chill gig. It paid him above minimum wage for every hour he worked, he only had to work six hour shifts, and it was only five days a week. Besides that, it was a solo job, and no one was there to tell him what to do. Obviously there had been some ground rules when he’d been hired— no cursing on air, and he had to take call-ins from students— but other than that, he had free rein of the radio frequency and he could play whatever music he wanted from 6 pm to Midnight, Monday through Friday. All he had to do was press buttons on a control console, sit back, relax, and occasionally answer the phone.

Speaking of which... Jaime checked the time. 10:28 pm. Great, that meant it was almost time.

With a groan, he raised a hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose in exasperation, eyes squeezing shut. Every night for the past two weeks at exactly 10:30 pm, without fail, the same jackass student had been calling in to insult his music taste and request High School Musical songs instead. The first time it had happened, Jaime had been shocked at the audacity of the student, but had granted the song request anyway. (He had to. It was part of his contract. If a person called in with a song request, Jaime had to grant it. The only exception was if someone requested a song that was inappropriate to air. As long as it had clean/sensored language, and was free from overly explicit themes, Jaime queued up the song).

He mentally prepared himself. ‘Seven Nation Army’ was just about over, and Jaime already had his next song selected. If he timed things right, he could take the annoying student’s call during the next song, and wouldn’t have to subject himself to humiliation where everyone who was listening to his station could hear. It had only taken Jaime three nights to catch onto the trend.

As the guitar faded out, Jaime switched back on his microphone and addressed his audience, “That one’s a classic. ‘Seven Nation Army’ by The White Stripes. Hope y’all enjoyed that one. I’ve got a few more songs in store for y’all with the time we have left-”

The tell-tale ring of the phone interrupted him. Jaime had to bite his tongue to prevent the string of Spanish curses that wanted to fall from his lips from actually coming out. He had spent too long talking, and now he had to take the dreaded call on-air.

He took a deep breath, and had to layer on the enthusiasm thick as he ‘cheerily’ exclaimed, “It looks like we have our first caller of the night!” Jaime picked up the phone and gave the scripted greeting, “Hello, fellow Tiger! You’re on-air with Houston U’s nightly segment. Care to introduce yourself to all the listeners out there?”

Like all the nights previous when Jaime had asked this question, he got the same response. “Nah. I think I’ll stay anonymous. Keep things interesting. Though if you want a clue, I’ll tell you; I’m on the track team.”

Jaime scrambled for his notebook. That was the biggest clue he’d gotten yet about this mysterious student caller. It was almost like some kind of game. So far, every night when this student had called in, they’d said they wanted to remain anonymous, yet would give a clue about their identity. So far, Jaime had a bulleted list of eight items, with ‘track team’ being number nine. The other clues he’d received were ‘hates Indie Rock’ (which was Jaime’s favorite genre of music, thank you very much), ‘favorite movie is High School Musical 2’ (which was blatantly obvious, based on the songs this jackass student always requested), ���favorite color is red’ (which told Jaime squat about who this kid was), ‘favorite food is chicken whizzes’ (once again, jack shit), ‘red hair’ (which was the first major clue Jaime had gotten), ‘green eyes’ (now it was obvious the kid wanted Jaime to figure out who he was), ‘5’9”’ (somewhat helpful), ‘Freshman’ (which eliminated 3/4 of the students on campus this caller could be), ‘mechanical engineering major’ (another somewhat helpful clue), and ‘gay’ (which, wow, Jaime would never out himself live on the air. This guy had some balls...).

After the mad scramble for a pencil, Jaime flipped the notebook open and single-handedly jotted down the new piece of information, balancing the phone against his ear with the other hand. When he was finished, he leaned back in the big leather chair, kicking his feet up against the edge of the desk in front of himself, feeling satisfied. Jaime knew he had enough information now to track down this annoying student and put an end to these stupid calls interrupting his radio show every night. Tonight would be the last time ‘We’re All in This Together’, ‘Bop to the Top’, or ‘Get Your Head in the Game’ would play during his segment, and Jaime was RELIEVED.

“Is that why you feel the need to call into my show every night?” Jaime fired back at the student. “So you can rope all of your track mates into singing ‘We’re All in This Together’ while you run in circles?”

An airy laugh was the response. And there a slight second where Jaime thought to himself, ‘Wow. That’s actually kinda cute,’ before his brain rebooted and he realized how counterintuitive that was. This guy was an annoyance that had to be dealt with. So what if he had an attractive laugh? It didn’t erase all of the other judgements Jaime had already formed of this student. And they were that this guy had terrible music taste and needed to find another hobby besides calling in every night to bug the shit out of Jaime.

“What better song to commemorate mutual suffering?” The other man laughed again.

Jaime scowled. ‘Mutual suffering’? Sure, Jaime knew the vexing student was talking about his track mates, but he couldn’t help catching the irony in the choice of words. As far as Jaime was concerned, the only one doing any suffering was him.

“So is that your request for tonight?” Jaime just wanted to get this over with already.

A contemplative “hmmm” made its way down the line, before being followed with, “Well, I was originally gonna ask for ‘Get Your Head in the Game’ but ‘All in this Together’ works nicely, too.”

“Por Díos,” Jaime mumbled under his breath. “¿No puede este idiota tomar una decisión?”

“Woah, hey, is that Spanish?!” Apparently Jaime’s mumblings hadn’t been quiet enough. “Yo hablo español!”

Jaime cringed. The pronounciation was terrible, but the enthusiasm was endearing. And dammit! He shouldn’t be thinking things like that. His train of thought was off the tracks again.

Without saying anything else, Jaime turned to his computer, quickly punched ‘We’re All in this Together’ into the song search bar, and hit play. He switched over the audio connection so that the only thing his audience could hear was the music, took a deep breath, and then made his rebuttal to the annoying student.

“You might want to work on that pronounciation, ese.”

The response was whiny. “Aww, it’s not that bad!”

Jaime cringed. “It’s not great, either.”

The student on the other line sighed. “Fine. But at least I have good taste in music!”

“That’s debatable.” Jaime didn’t know why he was dragging out the conversation. Usually after he granted this annoying caller’s request each night, the student rattled off a final jab at Jaime, before just hanging up. Why was he staying on the line tonight? Maybe Jaime just had to direct the conversation in that direction?

“My music is better than what you play every night. I’m doing you and your radio station a favor!” And yep, there it was.

“I don’t think people are tuning into my station to listen to the one High School Musical song you insist I play every night.”

Jaime could practically hear the smirk through the line when the other student responded. “Even if people are tuning in to listen to your crappy music, my song is still the highlight.”

Jaime groaned. He was growing weary of this conversation. “Do you listen to anything besides terrible High School Musical songs?”

That cute laugh caught in Jaime’s ears again. “Doi. A guy needs to have a little variety in his music. I’ve also got ‘Can’t Stop Singing’, ‘Turn Up the Music’, ‘Determinate’-”

Jaime’s eyes rolled skyward. “I’m gonna stop you there. Does your playlist contain any songs that aren’t from Disney Channel movies?”

A horrified gasp marked the beginning of the indignant response. “What’s wrong with Disney movies? High School Musical is the crashest movie series in existence.”

Jaime didn’t have enough time to think over the choice of the word ‘crashest’ before the other student continued rambling on.

“What other kind of music do you need?! Disney movies have great numbers, teach you about life and friendship, and growing up, and you gotta be kidding me if you don’t think Zac Efron is hot playing Troy.”

Jaime snorted a laugh for the last amendment to the other student’s statement. He’d only watched High School Musical once, and that was enough for him. And despite occasionally finding other men attractive (being bisexual himself), Zac Efron had never really done it for Jaime.

“I wouldn’t exactly call those ‘musical numbers’ as you put it, any type of masterpiece, however, I suppose you earn a pass for the friendship and growing up part.” Jaime smartly decided to skip the Zac Efron comment altogether, “I would say I’m more of a fan of the Disney animated movies. At least I can tolerate the Lion King and Aladdin sound tracks.”

A little puff of a chuckle, and then, “You should really get a better hobby than bashing on Disney movies.”

Jaime scoffed and immediately fired back, “You’re the one who calls me every night to bash on my music.”

“Oooh.” The other student made a hissing sound, as if a flame were being extinguished. “Caught red handed. But—” And here, Jaime could sense something dangerous was about to be said— “how about we settle this once and for all. You obviously don’t get out of the radio studio enough. What say you come to the next Houston U track meeting? We can settle this music debate once and for all.” Yep. That was a challenge.

Jaime took a few seconds to deliberate. He was curious to see who this mysterious caller was. Besides, what harm could it do? Jaime was not the type to back down when he was challenged. He had his pride and dignity. He would not be bested by this asshole. He was going to go to that track meeting.

“You’ve got yourself a deal, ese.” If the other student were there in person, Jaime could imagine shaking his hand to seal the contract.

“Alright,” the other student said, and if Jaime wasn’t mistaken, he sounded rather gleeful that Jaime had taken the bait, “I’ll see you there.” And then the line went dead.

Jaime ran a hand through his hair as he hung up the phone with the other. What had he gotten himself into?

The next Houston U track meeting was a week and two days since the fated phone call. Since that night, the mysterious student caller hadn’t rung Jaime’s radio station. It was a power move, and a good one at that. He had put the ball in Jaime’s court (or passed him the baton? That was a track thing, right?), meaning all responsibility was on him. In all honesty, Jaime was tempted to skip out on their ‘deal’. Sure, he’d agreed, but only because Jaime’d thought it was the key to get the student to stop calling. Now that the calls had stopped, Jaime saw no reason to get involved and draw attention back to himself. Maybe if he didn’t go, the annoying student would just leave him alone.

On the other hand, if he didn’t go, wouldn’t that just give the other student more incentive to start calling him again? Not only would Jaime continue to get bashed for his music taste, but then the other student would also be able to expose him as a liar. That was definitely NOT the reputation Jaime wanted to have. He had no choice. He HAD to go to that stupid track meeting.

It didn’t mean he didn’t drag his feet the whole way to the field though. Even with his ticket and getting there five minutes early, it was near impossible to find a seat. Jaime had no idea a sporting event like track would be so popular. What was so special about a bunch of guys running around in a circle?

It took a little shoving and some mumbled “sorry”s and “excuse me”s before Jaime was finally able to plunk down next to a young couple, in one of the only empty seats left. They seemed like nice enough people; the man even tried making small talk with him once Jaime sat down; but Jaime’s shy demeanor prevented the conversation from launching into something deeper.

Once the couple was no longer paying him much attention, Jaime surreptitiously slipped his little pocket notebook out of his jeans and flipped it open to the page where he had noted all of the little clues his mystery caller had given him.

Unfortunately, only some of them were usable in this context. Clues about the other student’s personality and preferences wouldn’t help Jaime identify anyone. Only the clues the track star had given Jaime about his physical appearance would be of use. He was looking for a redheaded, green-eyed, 5’9” Freshman. Should be simple enough.

When Jaime glanced down to where the runners were stretching by the starting blocks, he immediately noticed three boys with red hair. Luckily, this track meet was only a Houston U event and other schools weren’t participating. That meant one of the three was his mysterious caller.

From this distance, Jaime couldn’t judge eye color, and height was difficult to gage. He supposed he would have to wait for the announcers to give the names and grades of the competitors. Hopefully only one of the redheads would be a Freshman, and Jaime could find his culprit.

Within a few minutes, a runner was at the blocks for every lane. The first event was the 100m sprint. Everyone on the team would be participating. Only six could go at a time, and the announcer said that there would be three heats. Unfortunately for Jaime, the announcer didn’t bother with the names of the competitors since everyone was running, but he hoped that at least the winners would be announced, in case his redhead happened to be one of them.

In the first heat, two of the three red-haired boys were lined up at the blocks. Jaime trained his eyes on them. The first boy was in the second lane, and the other in the sixth lane. Hopefully one of the two would win so that Jaime could narrow down his suspects.

When the starting gun fired, all six runners took off like rockets. The pure speed was quite a shock for Jaime to witness. Within fifteen seconds, all six runners crossed the finish line.

“Winner!” The announcer shouted, once first place for the heat had been determined. He held up the arm of one of the redheads Jaime had been watching. “Senior Wally West with a time of 10.8 seconds!”

An elderly couple three seats over from where Jaime was sitting sprang out of their seats cheering. “Yeah, Wally!” shouted the man. His wife was enthusiastically clapping.

When they sat down again, the couple next to Jaime (conveniently sandwiched between him and the cheering couple) turned to face them.

“Wow!” the blond man next to Jaime exclaimed. “That’s his fastest time yet!”

The other blond man laughed (and it was then that Jaime noticed the striking resemblance). “He’s been working hard. Of course, he’s no match for Bart, but just maybe Wally might have a shot at beating him in the 3200m.”

The brunette woman of the younger couple hummed, a smirk resting on her lips. “I don’t know about that one. Our Bart’s got Thawne blood, too. He’s got runners from both sides. Wests... not so much.”

“Mel!” the man next to Jaime gasped, scandalized. “I thought we said no family rivalry at track meets?”

Immediately the brunette woman, Mel, appologized. “Sorry, sorry.”

“That’s right,” the man from the elderly couple interjected. “You have to remember Donny’s got some West blood himself. Iris was a West before she married me.” He slung an arm around the graying red-haired woman sitting beside him.

It was then that Jaime was able to piece it together. The young blond man— Donny— sitting next to him, was the son of the elderly couple— Iris and her husband (unfortunately Jaime didn’t have his name yet). The younger brunette woman— Mel— was Donny’s wife, and one of the runners— Bart— was their son, and the grandson of the elderly couple. Wally— the runner who had just won the first heat was a relative (?) of the two couples.

By the time Jaime was done puzzling out the relations, the next heat of runners was already at the starting blocks. Unfortunately, the other redhead, whom Jaime guessed was Bart, was not in this heat.

The starting gun fired, and the race was over within fifteen seconds again. The winner was announced, and the runners of the third heat took their places.

Jaime’s gaze zeroed in on the redhead in the first lane. That must be Bart. Mel and Donny were balanced on the edges of their seats next to Jaime.

As soon as the gun fired, Bart was nearly a quarter of the way down the lane. He was insanely fast. Jaime wouldn’t be surprised if he hit an Olympic time. His teammates stood no chance.

When he was announced the winner, Jaime had to do a double take at the 9.63 second time blinking on the screen behind him. That was more than a second faster than Wally, who had won the first heat.

“‘Attaboy, Bart!” Donny yelled.

The exclamation caused Bart’s attention to be drawn towards them. He waved proudly at his parents, and then his gaze caught on Jaime. Even from this distance Jaime could see the electric green eyes trained on him. There was no mistaking it now. Even with the other redhead to consider (since Jaime hadn’t heard his name or grade announced yet), he was certain Bart was his mystery caller. There was something in his eyes— a knowing glint— that made Jaime nervous. Could Bart know who he was?

It wasn’t completely impossible. Because he ran the campus radio at night, Jaime had a page on the school website. His name and picture were plastered right along side Cassie and Gar’s. Cassie had the morning shift from 6 am to noon, and Gar’s comedy segment ran from noon to 6 pm, when Jaime started. All Bart had to do was look him up and he would know exactly who Jaime was.

In retrospect, Jaime easily could have done the same to figure out who his annoying caller was. Once he’d received the track team clue, he could have pulled up the roster and narrowed his suspects down. He could have ruled out Wally because he was a Senior, and possibly even the other redhead based on his year. The announcer had said that Bart was a Freshman when he’d announced him as a winner, so Jaime figured he was the most likely of the three to be the caller. He matched all of the physical descriptors.

There were two more sprinting events that followed, each doubling the distance of the previous. After witnessing the 100m event, Jaime wasn’t surprised when Bart came in first for the 200m and 400m. It was honestly impressive. Bart was talented both in the art of running and annoying Jaime over phone calls. Truly difficult feats.

Once the sprinting events were finished, the competitors moved onto the field. Unlike the sprinting events, some members of the team sat out. Jaime noticed only six members of the team were participating. Two for discus, two for shot put and two for javelin. Neither Bart nor Wally was one of the six. The other redhead on the other hand, was lined up at the javelin throwing line.

Jaime paid him little mind. As soon as the announcer introduced him as a Senior, Jaime tuned out completely. Now there was absolutely no doubt whatsoever. Bart was his mystery caller.

While the field events took place, Jaime watched Bart stretching out on the side of the track. He was surprisingly limber. And Jaime had nothing to blame but the part of his mind attracted to men when he watched Bart bend over in his running shorts to stretch out his hamstrings. He had really nice legs, among... other things.

Jaime shook his head. He shouldn’t be thinking things like that. He’d come here to put Bart in his place because of the annoying phone calls. Not admire his amazing calves.

When the field events were over, some members of the team moved back onto the track for the hurdle events. Again, Bart was not amongst them.

“He doesn’t do hurdles either?” Jaime accidentally mused aloud.

Donny turned to look at him. “First track meeting?” he asked, kindly.

Jaime felt a blush crop up on his cheeks. He hadn’t meant for his comment to be out loud.

“Yeah,” he admitted, despite his embarrassment.

Donny gave him a smile. “They each only do one event plus the sprints. You’ve got the three field events, hurdles, and long distance.”

“Oh.” Jaime nodded to show he understood.

Donny outstretched his hand. “I’m Don.”

Jaime shook Bart’s father’s hand. “Jaime,” he returned.

When Don took his hand back, he used it to point to his wife. “This is my wife, Meloni.”

The brunette woman waved at him.

“And my parents, Barry and Iris.” He gestured at each member of the older couple as well.

Jaime ducked his head shyly. “Nice to meet you all.”

The pop of the starting gun drew their attention back to the track where the hurdlers had just taken off from the blocks. Jaime watched on in interest, amazed at the skill that had been displayed today. He’d never imagined a track meet being this entertaining.

After a few moments, Don turned back to him. “Who’re you here for?” He pointed down at the track members surrounding the edge of the rubberized circle, cheering on their participating teammates.

Jaime felt that blush bloom on his cheeks again. Should he be honest? He was sitting right next to Bart’s parents. What if they started asking questions he didn’t have the answers to?

“Uh, I-I’m here for Bart.” He didn’t really have any other options. He didn’t know the names of any of the other track members.

Donny’s green eyes suddenly lit up. “Bart didn’t tell us his boyfriend was coming! It’s quite a coincidence we ended up sitting next to one another!”

Jaime gave a hard blink, processing the sentences that had just exited the blond man’s mouth. “Uh, we’re not-”

Meloni cut him off. “Oh! You’re the one who runs the campus radio! I knew your name sounded familiar. Bart talks about you all the time!”

The first thought that went through Jaime’s mind was, ‘Does he now?’. There was no mistaking it. Bart was 100 percent the annoying student who called into his radio segment each night. And Bart knew who he was. As soon as this track meeting was over, Jaime was definitely going to have some words with him.

“It’s so nice to finally get to meet you!”

Jaime didn’t know whether he should burst their bubble. Don and Meloni seemed like genuinely good people, and they were happy for their son having seemingly found a relationship. Although their assumptions weren’t true, Jaime knew he would feel extremely bad telling them otherwise.

Luckily, there wasn’t much time for him to dwell on the subject. As soon as the winners for the hurdling events were determined, the obstacles were cleared off the track and the next set of runners were lining up at the starting blocks. Two heads of red hair immediately caught Jaime’s attention. Bart and Wally were lining up in lanes one and two, while a few more of their track mates joined them in the other lanes.

“Who do you think it’ll be this time?” Barry posed the question aloud.

“I think Bart’s got a running shot.”

Everyone groaned at Don’s poor-quality joke.

“I apologize on my husband’s behalf,” Meloni mostly addressed Jaime, “What he meant was that Bart’s been working on his pacing. He’s the fastest on the team, and has always taken first in all of the sprinting events, but Wally always gives him some good competition for the long distance stuff.”

Jaime nodded thoughtfully. Bart had definitely been fast; no doubt about that. But he was curious to see how he would do in an event that required more endurance. Apparently he would actually have some competition this time, unlike in the sprinting events where Bart had left all of his teammates in the dust.

When the starting gun fired, Jaime found himself actually holding his breath. This first distance was 1500m, just shy of a mile. Jaime could remember having to do the one mile run in P.E. back in high school and how much of a pain it had been. The best time Jaime had ever gotten was just over six minutes.

For the first lap or so, Wally and Bart were neck and neck. The rest of their teammates were about half a lap behind. Then, when they went into the second lap, Bart kicked it up a notch, pulling ahead. Wally kept his own even pace, a schooled look of determination set over his features, while Bart’s lips transformed into a confident smirk.

By the final lap, Bart and Wally were shoulder to shoulder again. It was clear that Wally had the superior skill when it came to pacing, as he had been able to keep the same speed the whole time, whereas Bart’s speed had varied in spurts, depending on his level of endurance. It was unclear which one of them was going to win.

When Jaime looked around at the stands, he could see fans eagerly debating which one of the redheads they thought was going to win. The general consensus seemed to be Wally, but Jaime had a feeling his High School Musical-song-loving caller had a trick up his sleeve.

When they reached the last 100m or so of the race, the stadium burst into cheering, each person of the audience shouting encouragement to their respective runner. Against all odds, and to the surprise of many, Bart burst into a full out sprint, easily overtaking Wally, and crossing the finish line with an enthusiastic whoop.

Jaime was absolutely shocked to say the least. After running three laps, how had Bart found the energy for that last burst of speed?

A time of 4.02 minutes flashed on the screen behind them as the announcer proclaimed Bart the winner. Meloni and Don broke into cheers beside Jaime, and Barry and Iris clapped as well to show their support. Even Jaime found a small smile working it’s way onto his lips as he clapped, in awe of the impressive speed Bart had just displayed.

There was a few minutes between events while the results of the race were recorded and the next set of runners lined up at the starting blocks. Again, both Bart and Wally were among the competitors. This time, the distance was more than double what they had just run at 3200m. Jaime was curious to see how Bart would hold up against the longer distance.

When the starting gun fired, all of the runners took off as a group, rather than Bart and Wally distinguishing themselves from the pack right away. With eight laps to go, Jaime supposed it made sense. No point in going all out during the first half of the race, only to burn out when it really mattered. Bart and Wally would probably wait until the final few laps to burst ahead of their teammates.

Around and around the track they went, keeping pace with one another until the sixth lap. As soon as they passed the starting line, all of the runners kicked it up a notch, and gaps between the competitors became more noticeable. As expected, Wally and Bart pulled ahead of everyone else, and chatter broke out amongst the crowd about which redhead it would be this time.

Barry and Iris seemed to have their money on their nephew (Jaime had finally pieced it together when Barry made the comment about Iris being a West before marriage), whereas Don and Meloni, being the proud parents they were, were betting on their son to come out on top. Jaime couldn’t help being biased, and was also rooting for Bart. After all, he was the whole reason Jaime was at this track meet to begin with.

Bart was giving his all. Halfway into the last lap, he was ahead of Wally by a few steps. It seemed like he had the win in the bag. Then out of nowhere, Wally pulled the same stunt Bart had last time.

Jaime could see Bart do a double take when his cousin passed him, but there was nothing he could do. Bart’s strength was his speed; not endurance. He was only able to give about 80 percent, whereas Wally had paced himself better, and could pour 100 percent of his speed into the last leg of the race.

While Jaime was disappointed to see Bart take second, he was still impressed overall. Wally had beat Bart by two seconds, but Bart had beat the rest of his team by nearly ten seconds, meaning he and Wally had had quite an impressive lead.

Barry, Iris, Don and Meloni were engaged in a chat about the outcome of the latest race, but Jaime found his eyes glued to his not-so-mysterious (anymore) caller. Despite losing the last event, Bart seemed to be a good sport. He and Wally were standing on the sidelines, getting a quick drink and catching their breaths before the final event was set to start. Between gulps of water, Jaime could see the cousins teasing one another, egging each other on, and hyping one another up for the competition of the next race.

When they were called over to the track for the last event, Bart elbowed Wally in the ribs with a cocky smirk on his face, and Wally retaliated by pulling the smaller man into a headlock to ruffle his hair. Jaime didn’t quite know what to make of it, other than that Bart seemed to have a cocky, playful personality. It explained why he had been so adamant about playing the stupid identity game he had roped Jaime into over the phone during his radio segments each night.

The last distance was 5000m, or approximately 12 laps. Just thinking about that much running made Jaime want to cry. Needless to say, he wasn’t a huge fan of running. Other sports, sure, but running was not something Jaime enjoyed for himself. He would have to give massive kudos to Bart for having enough dedication to running to put himself through the 12 lap race.

Again, all of the runners stayed in a pack for the majority of the race. By about lap eight, it was clear who the real endurance runners were. The six competitors had spread out, a few feet behind one another, with Wally leading. There was a black-haired guy on his heels, and following behind him were Bart and another black-haired runner, a little shorter than the man in front of him. Two more runners were taking up the rear.

Laps nine, ten and eleven passed without much change. It wasn’t until they got into the final lap that Bart mustered the energy to pull ahead of his two black-haired teammates and take up the trail behind his cousin.

Wally’s winning time of fourteen minutes and two seconds flashed up on the scoreboard, followed by Bart’s time of 14.08. Jaime almost had to do a double take. When he calculated the math, it meant Bart had averaged a time of approximately a minute and eleven seconds per lap, and Wally had been faster still!

While the judges and officials were confirming the results of all of the events that had taken place, the stadium around Jaime burst to life as audience members began to make their exit down to the track to meet with and congratulate the athletes they had come to support. Beside him, Don, Meloni, Barry and Iris stood from their seats and gathered up their belongings, preparing to go congratulate Bart and Wally on their wins in today’s events.

“You should come with us, Jaime,” Meloni suggested when Jaime didn’t stand up with the rest of them.

Immediately, a stone sank in the college student’s stomach. What would Bart think if he saw Jaime with his parents? He and Bart hadn’t even met yet. How would Jaime be able to explain if Bart’s parents brought up the boyfriend issue?

Reluctantly, Jaime got up to follow the two couples down to the track. He was sweat-dropping. He really hoped Bart’s parents wouldn’t make things awkward.

As soon as he was in range, Don slung an arm around his son’s shoulders, congratulating him on his multiple wins. Meloni also smothered Bart in a hug when she got her opportunity, cooing over how well he had done. Beside them, Barry and Iris were doing much of the same to their nephew, expressing their awe of Wally’s endurance in the long-distance events. Meanwhile, Jaime stood awkwardly by, waiting for a chance to hopefully have a chat with his not-so-mysterious caller.

When the Allens finally separated from their son, Jaime locked eyes with Bart. There was a glint in those green irises that Jaime couldn’t place. It wasn’t good or bad per say; Jaime could only describe it as making him feel on edge, ready to tip one way or the other.

As soon as Meloni noticed the stare between the two boys, she immediately turned on Bart, much to Jaime’s horror.

“Bart! Why haven’t you introduced us to your boyfriend? He’s such a handsome young man.” She used an insistant hand to push Jaime forward, so much so that he almost stumbled and fell into the chest of his supposed “boyfriend”. Luckily, Bart’s hands came up and caught him by the biceps before that could happen.

Both his and Bart’s eyes widened. Pink burned hot on each of their cheeks. Jaime took a quick step back. He felt like he wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

“Well?” Don goaded. “Don’t be shy! I’m glad to see my son’s finally been able to put the Allen-family charm to use! How long have you two been together?”

Jaime could feel the color in his cheeks getting darker by the second. Bart was still giving him this weird look, as if it weren’t his parents who had instigated this whole conversation in the first place. The prolonged awkward eye contact was making Jaime uneasy, and he was tempted to just speak up and shut down Bart’s parent’s idea about him and their son being in a relationship, but before he had the chance, Bart was clearing his throat to speak.

The track star raised a hand to the back of his neck, and Jaime had to do a double-take at the innocent “embarrassed” façade he was now putting on. “Well,” he said, playing bashful, “Guess the cat’s out of the bag, Babe.”

Jaime’s eyes widened to the size of dinner plates upon hearing the pet name. Bart was just going to go along with this?!

Without preamble, the redhead slung his arm around Jaime’s shoulders, crushing him into his side in a display of “affection” for his parents’ benefit. “Jaime’s a little shy,” Bart said, when Jaime failed to fill in the silence. “He wanted to keep our relationship a secret. I’m actually a little surprised he came to the track meet today.”

Bart subtly bumped Jaime’s hip with his own, which was a cue for him to talk. It took a moment for the raven-haired boy to scramble for a response. He would play along... for now.

“I had to see if you were as good as you were making yourself out to be,” Jaime had noticed Bart’s encoded message; he hadn’t expected Jaime to take his phone call seriously and show up. Jaime was giving his own back in return (I had to discover who the annoying caller was).

Bart chuckled. “Would I ever lie to you?”

Jaime had to resist the urge to roll his eyes. Now the guy was just laying it on thick.

“Of course not, Chiquito.” The pet name came out from behind clenched teeth.

Luckily, Mel and Donny seemed to buy their act. When it was clear they were in the clear, Bart asked, “Mom, Dad, is it okay if I have a few minutes alone with my boyfriend?”

Meloni and Don shared a look before Don said, “Okay. But no hankey-pankey behind the bleachers!” He waved a finger at them, teasing smile in place over his lips.

Jaime felt himself going pink. “Of course not, Sir,” he managed to get out, in spite of how mixed up this situation had gotten.

Bart grabbed him by the wrist and dragged him a little ways down the track so that they were out of Meloni and Don’s hearing range. As soon as he had the opportunity, Jaime whirled on him.

“What the hell was that back there, ese?” Jaime hissed.

Bart shrugged. “They bought it, didn’t they?”

Jaime felt his eyes narrow into a glare. “Why didn’t you correct them?”

Bart did another shrug, this time with a knowing expression on his face. “It’s not like you said anything either.”

Jaime’s glare fell apart under the truthful accusation. It was his fault for not immediately shutting down the idea when Don had first brought it up to him in the stands.

Bart placed his hands on his hips and began rocking back and forth from the balls of his feet to his heels. “In all honesty, I’m actually surprised you showed up.”

Jaime emulated Bart’s pose, resting a fist against his hip and gesturing with the other. “Well, I couldn’t risk you calling back during my segment tonight and accusing me of being a liar in front of my entire audience, now could I?”

Bart tilted his head in such a way that Jaime had to repress the thought of ‘Oh, that’s cute,’ before it accidentally slipped out of his mouth.

A faint pink blush rose to Bart’s cheeks. “I guess I did kind of back you into a corner, didn’t I?” He raised a hand to the back of his neck, and it was the moment that Jaime realized Bart was genuinely sorry for having done so. While he may have wanted Jaime to show up today, it was clear now that he wouldn’t have used Jaime’s absence as blackmail against him if he had decided not to show.

Not wanting Bart to feel guilty, Jaime shrugged it off. “No es gran cosa.”

A smile worked its way onto Bart’s mouth. “I have no idea what that means, but I’m guessing by the look on your face, you’re not actually all that bothered by it.”

Jaime sighed. “Well, besides inviting me here so I can tell you how much I hate granting your High School Musical requests every night, what exactly is the reason?”

Bart scoffed. “I can’t believe you had the audacity to say that to my face!” He was trying to deliver the line seriously, but the smile on his lips told Jaime that he wasn’t actually offended.

Jaime shrugged, a small smirk working its way onto his own lips. “What can I say? Disney Channel movies are cheesy, and their sound tracks are even worse.”

Bart chuckled. “Your music is too depressing. You need something more upbeat. Less lyrics about death, sad childhoods, and oppression. ‘We’re All in this Together’, right ah-me-go?”

Jaime cringed, both at Bart’s pronunciation and at the stereotypes. His music was more complex than what Bart was making it out to be. Besides, Jaime wasn’t here to argue anyway. Bart had invited him to this track meeting with ulterior motives, and Jaime was determined to figure out what they were.

“Not all of my music is depressing,” Jaime countered. “Besides, you ignored my question. Surely you had some kind of motive in inviting me here besides to just discuss your terrible music taste. I want to know what it is.” Jaime raised both eyebrows.

An unexpected pink blush rose to Bart’s cheeks, covering up the freckles sprayed like paint across his Caucasian skin. “I wanted you to notice me.” Jaime nearly missed the words, for they came out of Bart’s mouth in a whisper.

“You wanted me to notice you?” He repeated the statement, hoping for a bit of an explanation.

Bart’s blush deepened, skin in competition with his hair for reddest feature. His green eyes were piercing the ground, seemingly in an effort to burn a hole big enough to burry himself in to avoid such embarrassment. His fingers twisted harshly against one another. His whole aura had changed from the confident runner he had been on the track to nervous schoolboy.

“We’re in the same physics class.” Bart’s sneaker kicked up a puff of dirt as he ground his toe into the sand.

Jaime blinked. He’d never seen anyone like Bart in his physics class. Was he that non-observant that he had missed him?

“I-I usually sit behind you.” It sounded like Bart was struggling to admit something difficult. Usually Jaime was the shyer one in conversations, so he completely understood what it felt like having to lead a difficult conversation. But he wanted to get to the bottom of this. Bart was on the edge of a confession, and Jaime had to know what it was.

“I noticed how a-attractive—” Bart’s blush deepened yet again— “you were pretty much as soon as I laid eyes on you. I-I wanted to get to know you better, so I asked around a little. Turns out Cassie’s a mutual friend of ours. She told me a little bit about you, from working with you at the radio station, and I did a little bit of research on my own. I looked you up on the school website. I started calling in to your station. I kept asking Cassie if she could find out more about you for me. Your favorite color, food, movie... Any hobbies, or things you like. I started piecing together this picture of you in my mind, using our conversations on the phone to confirm or deny my theories about you. Eventually, I couldn’t take it anymore. I was desperate for you to notice me, so I started dropping hints on the phone, hoping you would take an interest. But you didn’t. And I-I can understand if-if you don’t feel the same way but IthinkIaccidentlyfellinlovewithyou.”

Jaime blinked hard. “¿Qué?” That last bit had left Bart’s mouth in an unintelligible jumble of sounds. Had Bart just admitted he was in love with him?

When Jaime snapped out of his confusion and looked back at Bart, he saw that the track star was struggling to hold back tears. A salty droplet fell from his chin and landed on the ground between them, creating a dark spot in the dirt. His shoulders were trembling with the effort to not let out a cry.

Guilt settled hard in Jaime’s stomach, like a boulder being dropped into a lake. The aftershocks were still rippling through his system. The pieces were slowly coming together.

Bart was in love with him, and wanted the feeling to be mutual. He had called in to Jaime’s radio station, hoping that he could get Jaime to take an interest in him. He wanted Jaime to pursue him, that way he would know for sure that Jaime felt the same way. And Jaime had taken an interest; he’d just done a poor job at showing it.

Hesitantly, Jaime reached a hand forward in an effort to get Bart to look up at him. “Por favor, no llores. Lo siento, I-”

Bart took a step back, angrily wiping his tears away with his fists. “No. I-it’s stupid. I built this idea of you up in my head, and it’s probably not who you are at all. I was just desperate and wanted you to like me back. And I know that me calling you every night was probably annoying and that you probably aren’t even into guys-”

Jaime surged forward, grabbing onto the other boy’s bicep with one hand and cupping his cheek with the other, and did something that surprised himself probably even more than it surprised Bart.

Bart froze, teary eyes wide in shock as Jaime’s lips smashed against his own. He was too surprised to react.

As soon as Jaime realized what he had done, he pulled back, blushing madly. Despite his embarrassment however, he couldn’t help the truth that fell from his lips.

“I am.” When Bart still looked confused, Jaime rushed to clarify. “Into guys. Into... you. I’m bisexual.” He raised a hand to nervously rub at the short raven hairs along the back of his neck, chuckling awkwardly.

Bart seemed to snap out of his stupor. “You’re into me? I didn’t think you were interested. I thought you only came today because I was blackmailing you.”

Jaime’s awkward laugh turned amused. “If you think I showed up today because of your so-called ‘blackmail’, you need a new definition for the word.” He moved his hand from his neck, slipping it into his pocket to pull out his notebook. Jaime flipped it to the page where he had taken down all of the little clues Bart had given to him over the phone and turned the book around to show it to the track star. Bart’s green eyes widened slowly as he read over all of Jaime’s scrupulously written notes.

“I wrote down everything you told me about yourself.”

Bart’s gaze slowly ascended from the page, an awed look in his eyes. Hastily, Jaime closed the notebook and placed it back in his pocket. He shifted his weight from foot to foot in consideration before finally saying, “I’d like a chance to get to know you. I want to give us—” Jaime used a finger to gesture between himself and Bart— “a chance. If that’s... crash?” He tested out the word he’d heard Bart use during a few of their phone calls.

The redhead’s face lit up like a child’s after receiving a piece of candy. “Yeah! That’s totally crash! When are you free?”

“Uh-” Jaime pulled out his phone to check his calendar, and nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt a hand clamp down on his shoulder.

“Time to get this show on the road, Kiddos.” When Jaime looked up to see who the hand belonged to, he saw Bart’s father standing between them, his other hand grasping onto his son’s shoulder. “Who knows what you two would get up to if Mel and I left you alone any longer.” Don playfully shook his head, before turning the eyes Bart had inherited from him on his son. “Your mother and I were college sweethearts, too. We know what kind of things kids your age get up to.”

Both Bart and Jaime blushed at the implications.

“Dad!” Bart groaned in embarrassment.

Don chuckled, as if it were all in a day’s work embarrassing his son. He turned to Jaime. “We usually go out as a family after track meets to celebrate. Everyone’ll be there. It’s a good opportunity for Bart to introduce you to the family. If you’re up for going, Jaime?”

The raven-haired student shared a look with his boyfriend? friend? person-he-thought-was-very-attractive-but-wanted-to-get-to-know-a-little-better-before-dating? Bart shrugged.

Jaime felt put on the spot. He and Bart had just discussed the possibility of beginning a relationship, and now he was supposed to meet the ‘rents? Not that he hadn’t already, but that was beside the point. Going out for a meal with Bart’s parents, grandparents, cousin and who-knows-who-else, and having to pretend that he’s madly in love with someone he was just meeting for the first time today? This had the potential to kill any chances he and Bart had at actually beginning a real relationship.

“I’m sorry, I already have plans,” was what Jaime wanted to say. Instead, he said, “Sure. I’d love to get to meet your family, Cariño.”

“Good evening, Tigers! You’re listening to Houston U’s nightly segment. I’m your host, Jaime Reyes-”

“-and his amazing boyfriend, Bart Allen-”

Jaime had to stifle an ‘oomph!’ as his boyfriend of three glorious months slung an arm around his neck and plopped down on his lap, leaning in close to the microphone so that he could be heard, too.

“-Next up we have ‘Flourescent Adolescence’ by Arctic Monkeys-”

“-And after that, ‘I Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You’ from High School Musical!” Bart slammed a finger into the ‘play’ button, starting the next song in the queue, before swinging his leg around so he could straddle Jaime’s lap and drag him into a kiss.

When they pulled apart, Jaime had a pout on his lips. “Who let you in here?” Bart wasn’t supposed to be in the studio, especially when Jaime was live on the air.

The younger smirked deviously. “Cassie might have loned me her key so that I could pay my boyfriend a visit while he was working...”

Jaime shook his head. “Of course she did.”

Bart booped his nose with a fingertip. “Don’t act so put out. You know you looooove me.”

Jaime shook his head, trying to keep a poker face. “Nope. You just tainted my reputation by saying that we’re gonna play High School Musical songs voluntarily. How could I love someone who would pull such a slanderous act against me?”

Bart poked his nose again. “You looooove me.”

Jaime shook his head. His lips threatened to quirk up into a smile. His poker face was cracking. “Nope.”

Bart hovered his lips dangerously close to Jaime’s own. “Admit it, Babe. You love me more than anyone in the world.”

Jaime’s mask crumbled. “Yeah,” he finally admitted. “Te amo con todo mi corazón.” He pulled Bart that little inch forward to kiss him again.

Unfortunately the phone cut their loving moment shorter than either boy wanted. Jaime picked it up.

“Hello, fellow Tiger! You’re on-air with Houston U’s nightly segment. Care to introduce yourself to all the listeners out there?”

“Yeah, Jaime, it’s Gar. I’m glad to hear that you finally found yourself a good partner, but next time you might want to make sure your mic is off before making any declarations of love while you’re live.”

Crimson bloomed to life across the entirety of his face while Gar hung up on the other end of the line. Immediately, the radio host leaned forward and flicked off the switch to his microphone. Jaime buried his face in his hands.

“I hate you!” He directed at Bart in an embarrassed moan.

Bart chuckled. “Nah. You looooove me.”

Here it finally is @purple--waffles! I’m so sorry it took me so long! I’ve been slowly working on it since the day your request arrived in my asks. Life is crazy, and I haven’t had a whole lot of time to write recently, but I really wanted to finish this for you. My mind ran with the prompt, and even though it took me awhile, hopefully the length makes up for it??? Maybe? Anyways, I hope you enjoy it!

[thoseindarkness]

Deceive the Deceiver NEWS!!! Oct 2020

I have GOOD NEWS and BAD NEWS. Since I'm the storyteller I choose where we start for the greatest dramatic effect!

THE BAD NEWS

I don't have an update for the story.

THE GOOD NEWS

I have spent every month since May of 2019 working on this story. I have not gone a single month without making a note somewhere about DtD since I published part 1. No other fic – no other story I've ever written – has unrelentingly taken up this much of my mental energy for so long. Nothing.

More importantly, I love every second of the journey I've gone on with Deceive the Deceiver. There's a lot of personal backstory here. Things like my learning curve, why I write fan fic, the original spy fic that started me off, bla, bla… I'm trying to keep this short and to the point.

WHY I'M WRITING THIS UPDATE

It's been more than year since I first posted Read Between the Lies (6-JUN-2019). Soon enough it will be a year since I completed posting on Mistrust Goes Both Ways (4-DEC-2019). A few people have reached since to inquire about part 3. Mostly through comments on AO3.

I love all of you brave souls with my whole fucking heart. It may be a desiccated mass of shriveled, black, broken pieces but it's completely yours. I know some authors don't like those comments. They are fire in my soul. I feel burning shame which I alchemically convert I into white hot fury that I shovel straight into my creative furnaces.

Knowing you guys are waiting kills me. I hated, hated, hated, waiting for fics. I know your pain. It drives me. I love you for being brave enough to take the leap. Your pleas genuinely make me happy.

To that end. The Reylo community has kinda fallen apart after TRoS. There are a few groups holding strong in spheres that I still haunt. I wanted to consolidate and start checking in monthly with anyone who's waiting for updates on this story. It's not even an inconvenience because I'm already messing with it every month.

Primarily I'll be posting to Tumblr. Responding to questions and comments. I'll cross post to Twitter. If you at or DM, I'll see it. I'm still responding to comments on AO3. I think I'll get faster now if this works out. I'm still in a few Reylo Groups on Discord. I'd love to be invited to more! At me or message me if you'd like. I don't have Facebook, and I have no intention of joining it. I'll take cheerleaders, town criers, candy stripers. If anyone wants to spread the word in the Book of Faces, I would greatly appreciate it.

What I hope to accomplish is to keep a steady connection to the people who are waiting for the conclusion of this story. Again, I've been in your shoes and I want you to know that I'm not going anywhere without publication. This is me showing you and holding myself accountable.

CALL TO ACTION

If you'd like to get my monthly updates on this story, I recommend picking Twitter or Tumblr and checking in on the first of the month (I don't post much on either platform so getting notifications shouldn't create SPAM from me). If I have any short stories to post I may jump into Discord and share those, too, but largely I won't be updating there.

Once you've done that, if you know someone that's waiting for updates on this story, point them this way. Let them suffer in silence no longer. They can annoy me about it directly. If you don't. That's cool.

STUFF I’M GOING TO DO

I’m going to keep writing. :)

That will now expand to include these updates (which actually started within the writing process and I found I could use some of this to share information with you guys). I don't anticipate these updates will be long, unless it's been an interesting month. I'll try to share little nuggets of things. If nothing else, this keeps me engaged with you guys and give you an open door to keep me thinking about it.

As soon as I have something to publish I'll be making regular announcements through these same channels.

Finally, please, be patient with me. There are a lot of moving parts. I'll fill you guys in next month because this shit show – which I am affectionately calling "DtD: from 2019 and COVID-19" – turned out to be too long for this update. In it, I'll also let you know where I am with Deceive the Deceiver.

The point is, this one is big and its going slowly. It is going, though. This train hasn't really stopped since it left the station 2-Nov-2018. Now that the format of our fandom has changed, I wanted to extend an open-ended olive branch for anyone still curious. I'm still here. I'm still working on this one thing exclusively. I don't know that I'll get fully sucked back into the fandom, but I don't want to leave it either. I want to stay plugged in until this job is done.

If you want to stay plugged in with me, Tumblr and Twitter will be my primary update locations. I hope you'll hang in there and help keep me honest.

Thanks.

Fari.

[vinyls-and-valentines]

What makes any of the characters just. Stop speaking for a bit

Ghoul absolutely shuts down for a good long while if some shouts at them for just being there. Like, okay, if someone told them that they’re annoying they’d have the audacity to pretend that it doesn’t hurt them as much as it does. If someone shouts at them for something not inheritently bad or all that annoying? They blue screen. Their brain literally crashes.

Kobra is very much the type of person who plans stuff, so when one of his plans gets stopped or postponed or even fails, his train of thought just comes to a screetching halt. He’s beyond confused and just going over and over what happened in his head because that’s not how it was supposed to go.

Poison is very hot-headed and often says shit they don’t mean in the heat of the moment, but when someone is genuine with them? They freeze. Their brain is doing the dial up noise trying to process what was said be it something negative or positive. It’s just dead silent because they don’t know what to do.

Jet just kinda drifts off whenever his mental health gets worse for wear because he’s not really grounded by himself. He just gets spacey and quieter and quieter until one day he wakes up and he’s fine again. In reality, the quiet days would be much longer if he was alone, but that’s not something that’s gonna happen for more than a little while, right? He can surely handle himself for a few days.

The Girl’s a smart kid, she really is, but she’s still a kid and has a hard time grasping everything as it happens. It’s the moments when it gets really bad and her siblings start acting off that she starts piecing things together. From then she just keeps quiet and keeps to herself because she knows her family will be able to handle this on their own, but they need to focus  She still misses them playing with her, though...

Show Pony is a chatter box and they honestly love it. It fills their time and often entertains them when everyone else at the station’s doing their own thing. They’re a really bubbly person, though they are also very grounded. If you were to- hypothetically speaking- misgender them by calling them a ‘he’, however, you’d find out that they can in fact be very quiet and very very terrifying when mad.

Dr. D is something of a quiet person since he tends to do a lot of thinking- a lot of forgetting too. His silences are always different after a killjoy goes missing though. They’re heavier, like there’s something greater behind it and pushing down on everthing like water threatening to spill from a full glass.  When asked about it, though, the answer is always the same: he’s forgotten.

No one knows much about Cola beyond their name, their readiness to help and their connection with the WKIL crew down at the station. There’s something equally haunting and solemnt about their silences as they deliver masks to one of the Witch’s mailboxes, though, like a soldier coming home after losing the war. And maybe they are one, maybe they aren’t. People always seem way more eager to blurt out their entire life story to them over a static-y radio transmission rather than the other way around

[vmbrcse]

Task 1: The Interview

Rose was no stranger to police stations. This situation, though. A bit new. Novel. Didn’t stop them from waving to some of the more familiar faces. Pulling the chair and spinning it to sit backwards in it, leaning against the table, the interrogating detectives didn’t seem all that amused. Oh, well. 

“I’m Officer Johnson, this is Officer Yates. We’ll be the ones conducting your interview today.” Were they allowed to use “Officer” as an honorific without actually being a cop? It sounded badass. Something to think about. Oh, oh shit, introductions.

“Charmed. You can call me Rose.”

A beat. A momentary silence. Please let this one be homophobic. Oh, please please please please please! Rose didn’t have much going on, so spending a day or two in the clink didn’t sound like the worst thing in the world. It might even be fun. 

“Erm, alright...Rose. For our records, though, could you please state your full name?”

“Ambrose Wilde --that’s with an E, like Oscar-- Prince. You can call me Rosie, too, if you want. I just feel like Ambrose is better for, like, job interviews, y’know?” They could tone it down. They were fully aware of that. But where was the fun in that?

“Alright. And have you ever been known under any other name? Any aliases?”

Now it was Rose’s turn to squirm. Already with the personal questions. Not that they were too worried. Most of their record was sealed, anyway. They couldn’t dig up anything on them without a court order, and seeing as how they were, like, the least likely suspect --not the least of which because they didn’t do anything-- it was unlikely that was going to happen. 

“You got a pen and paper? You won’t be able to spell it.” Upon being handed a pen and paper, they scribbled a name down. It wasn’t a deadname. Just...a name they outgrew. Also, it wasn’t cute. And they were very cute. They’d always been more of a Rose than a Zlatko. Handing it over to the officers, they raised an eyebrow in question. “Anything else?”

Rapid fire round this time.

“How old are you?”

“Twenty-eight. Turning twenty-nine in June.”

“Where do you currently work?”

“La Scoglio. I’m a waiter.” 

“How long have you lived in Lakeview?”

“Ten years.”

“What was your connection to Jack Masen?”

“I barely knew the guy. He worked at his parents’ bar, right? End of acquaintance.” Not entirely true. Had they sold to him, or was it one of his friends who was buying? It hardly mattered. They’d sold to their fair share of college kids in this town.

“What was your connection to Mary Beth Stanton?”

“Again. Didn’t really know her. The two of them were kinda young for me.”

“Where were you on April 7th, 2021 between 10 pm and midnight?“

“Don’t remember.”

That got the guy’s attention. Fuck. But, hell, what were they supposed to do, just tell the guy they were on a delivery? No thanks. And they couldn’t very well lie and say they were hanging out with anyone in town. They were the sort to wander, not really hang out. They rolled their eyes when the detective sat up a bit straighter.

“What do you mean, you don’t remember?” He asked, and Rose braced for the bullshit. “Two people were murdered that night. That happen to you often enough you can’t remember? Just another night for you? C’mon, man, you’ve gotta know how ridiculous that sounds.”

“First of all,” Rose spat back at him, not even bothering to sit up. “Don’t call me ‘man’. We’re not friends. I don’t know you. I don’t like you. Second, sue me, I don’t remember. I don’t really do much, and it was a few weeks ago. I didn’t know anyone involved, so it’s not exactly high up on my list of things to cry over every night. Maybe I was at home. I might’ve been seeing a movie. I could’ve been fucking your wife for all I can recall. Go home and ask her for me, yeah?”

They could see the detective’s eyebrow twitching. Good. Now they were both annoyed at their current situation.

“So. If you don’t remember where you were, I’m assuming there’s no one to corroborate your story.”

“Yup.”

“Alright. Next question. Did you see anyone heading out towards Route 9 on April 7th?“

“No.”

“If you don’t remember where you were, how are you so sure you didn’t see anything?”

“Because if I actually saw something, maybe I’d remember. I don’t remember, so I didn’t see anything. Clearly.”

They were really getting under his skin now. It was obvious. Rose knew a thing or two about contained rage, and boy howdy was this guy pissed. Halfway decent training, but not great. Some anger management courses might do him some good. Should they inquire about that? Maybe.

“Do you know anyone that might have had a motive to hurt Jack Masen and/or Mary Beth Stanton?”

“No. I barely knew them. Much less the people they hang around.”

“Is there anything else you’d like to tell us?”

“Can I go home?”

A pause. The detective pulled the tape recorder closer to himself, and turned it off. He looked at Rose and stood up, motioning for them to do the same. 

“You’re free to go. Be sure and call us if you remember anything. Man.” 

Rose jumped up so quickly the chair clattered to the floor, instantly in the detective’s face. They were barely able to get a word out  before being shoved backwards, nearly losing their balance and toppling to the ground themself. 

“I wouldn’t recommend that.”

Hm. Wonder if it’s illegal to spit at an officer.

Oh. Oh, yeah, that’s illegal.

[vloggerparker]

what’s love? || s.h

↬ pairing(s): Steve Harrington x Hopper!reader

↬ genre/warnings: kinda angsty, fluff.

↬ word count: 2.8k

↬ synopsis: Steve’s been acting differently lately -jealous, distant, irritable- and (Y/n) doesn’t know why. it isn’t until Steve consults the Chief of Police, (Y/n)’s father, that he lets her know what’s wrong.

↬ a/n: for @melxoxo23 who said “jealous steve and the readers dad, hop, is the one that makes him feel all better. :) please and thank you.” I realized halfway through that I kinda strayed away from your initial request, so sorry about that :c but I hope you enjoy nonetheless!!

(Y/n)’s hands slapped the steering wheel in tune to the heavy bass blaring from every angle of the car, the music so loud she couldn’t even formulate a proper thought and all she knew in the moment was song lyrics. Mike, Dustin and Lucas all bounced in place in the backseat, music filling them from head to toe. Steve was in the passenger seat watching the chaos unravel as he tapped his foot to the rhythm, one corner of his mouth upturned in a facsimile of a smirk. His heart cried as he watched her drive, head bopping to the song. Moments like these are the only times he gets to stare at her until his heart’s content, and she’s so immersed in what she’s doing that she doesn’t even realize his literal heart eyes as he watches her from the passenger side.

“Tell Ms. Byers and the boys I say hi!” she calls out to the boys that file out the backseat of her car.

Lucas bobbed his head, hand readily laid on the car door to slam it shut as he says, “sure thing, (Y/n), thanks for the ride. We’ll see ya’ later!”

“And tell Jonathan he needs to bring his butt back here so we can hang out!” she added just before Lucas could close the door.

Lucas swung the door back open. “Okay!” he shouted, nodding his head wider, emphasizing his understanding.

(Y/n) laughed to herself as Lucas hurriedly shut the door before she could get another word to him. The boys waved their goodbyes as the car pulled off, and a terrible silence filled the car as soon as it was just her and Steve alone. She thought to turn the radio back on, but it felt like her hands were glued to the wheel, too tense to make a move.

(Y/n) thought it was pitiful how jealousy controlled Steve Harrington’s life, so lost in the torment his brain was in. Sometimes it was so severe that the rational Steve Harrington would switch offline and suddenly his liberal opinions were gone, and his ability for empathy and emotional generosity were gone, too.

The relationship hadn’t always been this complicated and Steve hadn’t always been so jealous. In fact, it all started very recently with their first real fight. (Y/n) made a new friend, Buddy, a cop-in-training while at the police station. He was funny, sweet, charming, but he was no Steve Harrington. Except her boyfriend failed to see how (Y/n), the living embodiment of perfection, wouldn’t fall for the sweet-mouthed Buddy. Dustin tried reasoning, but by then Steve had waved it off with the decision that he was over it. After that first occurrence, petty arguments had seemingly manifested from nothing, things that they never argued over, whether that be pizza toppings or what movie they should see that evening.

“Oh no,” she whispered to herself as the car sputtered, “no, no, no, no, please!” she begged all in vain as the car emitted a low and inarticulate sound, rolling to a stop and (Y/n) was forced to pull over onto the side of the road. “Damnit.” she cursed softly, resting her head against the wheel.

Steve sighed dramatically and slid out the car, going to investigate the sudden break down. He stopped at the front of the car, rolling up his sleeves as he tried the hood, only to feel a resistance when he realized it was locked. His eyes flickered to the front windshield to meet (Y/n)’s through the glass, and when she shrugged he rolled his eyes. “Sugar, pop the hood.”

(Y/n) complied, ignoring the flutter in her chest hearing the cutesy pet name, something she hadn’t heard much of in the past few days. As soon as he flipped the lid and she could no longer see him through the window, she emerged from the car and met him outside. “So, we’re alone now. You mind telling me what’s bothering you?”

Steve always did his best to never yell at (Y/n) or even raise his voice in the slightest, but (Y/n) would take the screaming and shouting over the silent treatment, at least then she would know how he was feeling. Silent Steve is impossible to read, like a book written in an entirely different language, he was foreign.

“There’s nothing wrong,” he looked down at her, one eyebrow quirked up quizzically. For a moment she thought she was getting through to him, that he was finally going to speak to her, but instead he slams the hood of the car shut without breaking eye contact and tells her, “the car. There’s nothing wrong with it. Did you… did you fake that?”

“I mean,” she starts, but presses her lips together to stop herself from saying anything more. Steve rolls his eyes for the uptenth time knowing his accusation was called correctly. (Y/n) puffed her cheeks out and folded her arms across her chest. “Are you being like this because you’re jealous over Buddy again? I don’t know how many times I have-”

“Just stop.” a breathy laugh fell into sync with his words, but it wasn’t the sweet sound she was accustomed to. It was forced and caustic, like he wanted (Y/n) to know he was annoyed with her. “I’m not mad at you and I don’t care about Buddy.”

She didn’t wait a second to reply as she said, “well, have you always been this negative? If there’s something wrong, talk to me.”

Steve ignored her practical begging, brushing straight passed her as he slid into the driver’s seat with (Y/n) in tow. She was standing in the doorway, hand on her hip as she exasperated, “Steve, we’re stuck here so why don’t you just take a deep breath and tell me what’s wrong. You’ve been using me as an emotional punching bag for the past week and if you don’t just tell me what’s wrong then I’m-,” she halted, taking a deep breath through her nose, “just tell me what’s wrong.”

He outstretched his hand to her expectantly, “cough ‘em up.”

“What? These?” she teased, dangling the keys tantalizingly, closing her fist around them just before Steve can take them from her. “No, no. You can have the keys when you decide to tell me what’s wrong.”

Steve stepped out of the car all while making eye contact, and for a moment he looks so intimidatingly breathtaking that she thinks to just give him the keys. His hands came up to cup her face and before she can make a remark, his lips are on hers and he’s kissing her feverously.

He pulled away seconds later with a cocky grin as he slid back into the car, and (Y/n)’s jaw is hanging gaunt as he sticks the key in the ignition and the car grumbled awake. He hikes a thumb over his shoulder to the passenger seat, smile ever present. “Guess not. Get in.”

* * *

There’s a series of knocks on Hopper’s front door and immediately he was up and alert, relaxing only when he familiarized himself within his own living room. Reading the clock hanging on the wall let’s him know it’s just past midnight, and he can’t help but wonder who the hell is showing up at his house in the middle of the night unannounced.

When Steve impulsively jumped in his car in the middle of the night to drive to the Hopper residence and beg for (Y/n)’s forgiveness, he didn’t stop to think if Hopper was awake or that he would be the one to answer the door. So, when the door swung open just a minute after he knocked, he wasn’t expecting to see the Chief of Police standing opposite to him.

Steve’s mind switched offline, and Hopper could practically see the sparks flying in his brain as it tried desperately to connect the dots and formulate a sentence, but instead caused a short circuit. “Hi H-Hopper, I mean- Sir- Chief,” he blabbered anxiously as the Chief stare back, expression resolutely stoic. “I mean Chief Hopper. I was wondering if (Y/n) was home to talk?”

Hopper crossed his arms across his chest, leaning his weight onto the doorframe. “You want to speak to my daughter and you thought the best time to do it was now?” his eyes swiveled back as he nodded. “She’s in, but I was told she doesn’t want to speak to you. Told me to kick your ass to the curb if ya’ showed up.”

Steve’s nervous stare averted down to his mud streaked converse as he shrugged. “Yeah, well, I deserve that.” he brought his attention back to the Chief’s unrelenting stare. “Are you going to, though? Send me on my way, I mean?” he asked, and right about now it felt like he was digging his own grave.

There was an excruciatingly long pause where Hopper scrutinized the young adult, and Steve’s never felt so uncomfortable under someone’s gaze. To say Jim Hopper might be overprotective of his daughters would be a misconception, because Jim Hopper was absolutely, undoubtedly, unquestionably overprotective of his daughters. El and (Y/n) were his life, and for Steve to think Hopper would so graciously forgive him after essentially breaking (Y/n)’s heart was stupid.

Hopper opened the door wider and took a step inside, wordlessly inviting him in. Well, call Steve Harrington stupid. “She’s in her bedroom. You know where it’s at.”

Steve nodded gratefully to her father before entering through the door, and it’s like he’s home again taking in all of the familiarities of the place he’s visited too many times to count. The Chief was right, Steve knew exactly where he was going, and just as the oak framed door came into sight, he froze. He debates for a minute before turning back around, finding Hopper on the living room couch with a can of beer.

“She not let you in?” he puzzled, almost feeling sorry for him.

“Well, I- uh, didn’t knock.” he took a step further into the living room, taking the open spot on the couch. “I… Do you mind if I vent to you about something? I mean, it’s a little weird, and you don’t have to say yes, but-”

Hopper set his can of beer down as he said, “what’s up, kid?”

“I think I try too hard. How I look, what I do, what I’m saying.” Steve mumbled. “I’ve been so hard on (Y/n) these past few days because I feel so self conscious about our relationship. Insecure. I keep lashing out over the small things, and getting jealous over guys I know she doesn’t want. I just- I don’t mean to, but-”

“So you need to work on some things? So what?” Hopper shook his head, resting a hand on Steve’s shoulder. “Listen, Harrington, if there’s anything you should know about my daughter is she, like me, doesn’t stick up for bullshit. You either lay it all out or get the hell out because she values honesty. She’ll give the damn shirt on her back if you asked for it, but you gotta earn that from her. And don’t make her regret it, because then you’ll have to face me.”

“I just…” Steve tries, but he just can’t seem to find the right words. Hopper doesn’t mind though, doesn’t rush him or insult him, just listens. “What’s love? When did you know, like, for sure that you were in love?”

There was a pause where Hopper was at a loss for words, his brain conjuring no thoughts other than registering his initial shock to the straightforward question. Steve saw the way the chief’s face washed blank, knowing he’d struck something in his mind that not even Hopper himself hadn’t considered a thought.

Finally, the chief answers him. “It’s that first taste of coffee in the morning or the smell of dirt after it rains. It’s joy, where you know it’s safe and secure.”

“Love is just really, I mean really, knowing someone and wanting a life with them in it, because a life without them sounds terrifying enough to wake you out of your sleep. It’s happiness. It’s when their happiness equals yours, so much that you’d rather them be without you if it makes them happy. It’s enjoying the arguments because at least you know they care. That even when they’re annoying, you wouldn’t trade the moment for any other. Love is just… knowing, and being sure that you know you want to spend the rest of your life with someone.”

There’s knocking on (Y/n)’s bedroom door as she groaned, rolling out of the comforts of bed only to be greeted with the surprise of Steve at her door. For a moment there’s a smile on her face just before she’s reliving the day before all over again and erupting with anger. She turns back into the room and Steve followed. Now they’re standing face-to-face in the middle of her room at midnight, both just staring before she cuts through the silence. “What?”

“I came over because we need to talk… about us.”

(Y/n) can already feel her chest tighten at his words, and she grabbed the hem of her shirt to squeeze. It happened to be an old basketball jersey, a gift from Steve. The urge to cry amplified as she watched him fiddle with his thumbs nervously, and she knows what he’s going to say before he can even say it.

He nods, encouraging himself to just say it. “So, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking-”

“That’s dangerous.”

“Forget it.” he threw his hands up as he spun around to leave.

(Y/n) hastily swiped the tears from her eyes and folded her arms across her chest. “We both know what you’re about to do, so why don’t you just do it so I can go back to bed.” she told him, a mischievous tear sliding down her face just to dribble off her chin.

Steve’s expression is tense as he turns around, storming right up to here until there’s space barley left between the both of them, and with every breath they take, there chests touch. “You wanna know what’s wrong?” he huffs. “It’s that. You’re stubborn, hard-headed, and you’re so passionate about everything that you’ll argue with me over what’s better: chocolate or vanilla? I don’t even care! They’re just ice cream flavors! But I do it because even though you press nerves in me I never thought possible, I want to spend every irritable moment with you. I’ll argue with you over ice cream flavors from dawn until dusk as long as it’s with you.”

“What’re you saying, Steve?”

“I’m saying that I love you. I love you, (Y/n).”

“Then why, why did you push me away? I tried relentlessly to fix things, to talk to you, get you to open up, but you were being so distant that I thought you wanted to break up with me.”

Steve shrugged loosely, unsure of himself. “I thought that you were getting tired of me so I tried distancing myself. Hearing about all the fun you and Buddy were having because I was too busy made it seem like you two were better off together. You work the same job, he’s funny, your type, and he could keep you safe better than I ever could. Hell, I mean, we could’ve died a hundred times over between fighting weird alien dogs with baseball bats and getting interrogated by Russians in an underground secret base.”

“It sounds like you’re naming reasons why I should date you.” she gave him an easy smile, something contagious to wipe the worrisome look from his face, and it worked. “Steve, I wouldn’t care if I died because I would die knowing I got to love and be loved the most amazing man on earth. I don’t want Buddy or anyone else. I want you. I want the adventure, the pain, the ups and downs- all of you. If you’re ever insecure and doubting yourself, please just talk to me. Don’t push me away because one day you’ll end up losing me.”

“Someday, right? Not today?”

“No, not today.”

The gesture was simple enough- a hug, affectionate in the states of body, brain, heart and soul. She’s all there for him, every part of her, and he’s there for her, every part of him. The room was somehow made warmer, and for the first time in days, though it’s at his expense, (Y/n) feels carefree.

She pulled away with a smile that seemed so genuinely sweet with just the right touch of shyness that an unexpected warmth spreads through him. “You are so strange, Harrington,” she giggles, “but I love you for it. I love you. Bunk over?”

“Well, I can’t say no to that.”

↬ a/n: if you liked this, you should check out my other Steve fics on my masterlist!

[thedistantstorm]

Project Compass 15

Read along on AO3 Here

<< Previous Chapter <<     >> Next Chapter >>

This time: Vah’nya and Ezra meditate. Ivant and Ar’alani discuss what it means to be a warrior.

Next time: A moment of balance between Thrawn and Eli.

-/

“He has been in his quarters for... days. That cannot be healthy,” The Admiral said after Thrass notified them that Ivant would not be joining them for the first meal of the day. Under her breath, she added, “Human or otherwise.”

Thrass rolled his eyes. “You do know he’s an adult, right? He can take care of himself.” Then, he added sarcastically, "It isn't as though he takes much - or any - time off. I wonder which one of you he learned that from…” Feigning an innocent glance between Ar’alani and Thrawn, he mused, “Or perhaps he just loves his work that much."

Further down the table, Ezra eyed the pale pink beverage Thrass was drinking, wondering if it too contained some kind of alcohol. He didn’t doubt it, first meal or not. Belatedly, he snuck a glance at Vah'nya, displeased that she had dragged him here for the proceedings. He suspected it would have been a far quieter and more comfortable meal out on the terrace with the rest of the Navigators.

“I’ve instructed my staff to bring him meals,” Thrass relented, fixing the Admiral with a helpless look. Ezra wondered briefly if he missed something the Admiral said, but that didn't seem to be the case. She was just fixing Thrawn's brother with her deadpan gaze as he said, “You know how he is when he’s onto something.”

"He knows his limits," Thrawn interjected mildly, drawing everyone's eyes but Vah'nya's. The eldest Navigator of the Chiss sipped a sweet smelling dark tea, listening politely but not engaging. She met Ezra's eyes and smiled behind her teacup. He had learned that she was not much of a morning person, which made her desire for them to be here even more confusing.

Thrass smirked, as if he knew something his brother did not. "You might find yourself surprised."

"You are a menace, Syndic," Ar'alani gestured to the Navigator and Jedi. "Tease him on your own time."

"Tease him about what?" Ezra asked innocently.

Vah'nya bit back a snort. She hid it well though, only earning the beginnings of a glare from her Admiral.

“Oh, nothing,” Thrass said, his attempt at innocence sounding more like gloating. “I would never tease about my friendship with Eli.”

"Your friendship is hardly anything other than acquaintance and mutual concern," Ar'alani reminded the Syndic. Her words were chosen carefully, Ezra could tell. To his right, Thrawn did not seem offended or flustered. In fact, since his discussion with Captain Ivant following Ezra's… incident, Ezra had noticed that Thrawn seemed a lot more balanced. Steady. Pensive and withdrawn, for sure, but not scattered and angry like he'd been before.

"Yes, yes, nevermind the countless months he spent here after his brush with death-"

Ar'alani shook her head. Ezra knew that look from previous experience with the Admiral. If Thrass wished to inspire Thrawn's attention, on his own head be it. "Yes, and you spent all that time at his bedside, did you?"

"Hardly. But I did check in on him."

"Why bring him here?" There it was, Ezra thought. Thrawn regarded Thrass coolly, but with that single-minded intensity. It was hard not to see Thrawn's luminous red eyes as anything but furious, but he'd had time to understand some of the nuance. There was suspicion there. Wariness, too. No doubt stepping into this conversation with Thrass was akin to wandering through a field full of landmines.

"Regardless of the several alternative reasons he no doubt gave you," Thrass said, "Eli’van’to did ultimately save your life. At least, that’s the part I cared about, anyway.” He shrugged. “And if you were willing to part with him despite his career at your back, I suspected you might prefer 'alive' to 'a warrior's death.'"

"What Syndic Mitth'ras'safis means," Vah'nya finally interjected, "Was that sending him to the military hospital on Csilla would have been asking for someone ill-meaning to assassinate him." She blinked up at Thrass, demurely awaiting his response. None came. She let her eyes wander over to Thrawn, seated to his left, next to the head of the table. "Under the syndic's protection was the best place for him to recover safely."

Thrawn frowned, but didn’t comment.

Vah'nya didn't flinch. "Of course," she looked at Ar'alani, "The fleet was stationed out this way and it was far easier to smuggle in human medics, too. Though they hardly did anything," She muttered, at the end.

"I do wonder why that is," Thrass tutted at Vah'nya, intent to invite her to share in some of Thrawn's ire. He knew how much his brother loved not being in the know.

"Enough squabbling," Ar'alani pressed. "Stop holding it over his head," She instructed the syndic, as if she were superior in rank. She wasn't, though it was all somewhat ambiguous as to how it lined up between military officers and political officials within the Ascendancy. It also didn't hurt that Thass knew she could rip him to literal and metaphorical pieces without difficulty. She considered Thrawn for a brief moment, almost protective, before moving on. "And you," She chided Vah'nya, "Really need to work on your gossiping."

"That was hardly gossip, Admiral. Gossiping would include me mentioning how you frequented his bedside to achieve the necessary solitude in order to catch up on your reading."

Ezra couldn't help it. He snorted, trying to hold back his laughter and failing. It was infectious though, and Vah'nya found herself joining in, much to the Admiral's disapproval.

“Enough,” Ar’alani sounded terribly annoyed, though it was hardly Vah’nya and the alien Jedi that bore the brunt of her irritation. Syndic Mitth’ras’safis was a thorn in her side. Still, if she could alleviate some areas of origin... “Leave us,” She ordered both Ezra and Vah’nya. “Enjoy your day. Do not bother me.”

“Do you have reading to do, Admiral?” Vah’nya quipped.

“Some. If you’d like,” She said, a slippery note to her voice, “I could arrange for you to assist me with the after action reports I need to review and approve.”

The Navigator was stone-faced and on her feet in seconds, the remaining food on her plate long forgotten. She hated those damn reports. “Come, Ezra’Bridger,” She said, already making for the door.

Ezra looked mournfully at his unfinished plate, but did as he was told. In the doorway to the grand dining room, Vah’nya took his wrist and dragged him not toward the terrace and the other Navigators, but towards the gardens. He could hear Thrass laughing behind them, the sound of the Chiss elite’s voice echoing down the extravagant corridors.

Vah’nya led them to a sunny place in the easternmost gardens on the estate, a greenhouse with giant, arching glass ceilings and sun-bleached glass ceilings and large white-stone flecked pillars. In the center was a beautiful, burbling fountain that spilled into a pond with strange, exotic fish that hung to the bottom peacefully.

Releasing his wrist, she spun around to face him, then gestured at two pillows laid upon the ground in the very center of the floor’s elaborate mosaic tiling. “What do you think?”

It looked… not quite natural, but Ezra took a deep breath and closed his eyes. It was far enough away from the rest of the manor, serene and calm. “I think it’s perfect.”

“Good.” The Chiss smiled.

Meditation wasn’t a key tenant of the Chiss Navigators’ training or practice. More often than not, they suffered from overstimulation that was only alleviated by sensory deprivation, allowing the body and mind to disconnect and then come back to each other naturally. Ezra likened it to a sort of hard reset, a power down and restart. He’d tried it when they’d initially tested him, a training exercise to see how he fared. Whatever they wanted from him, he likely hadn’t done it, but no one had ever said a word. Instead, they simply told him he didn’t have to attempt somnia again if he didn’t believe it was helpful, so he didn’t.

Vah’nya was interested in the way Ezra’s powers worked. Not impressed easily, like Thrass who found it interesting that Ezra could leap exceedingly high or levitate things - even people, if he wanted - in the air, manipulate things with his mind. Ezra had drawn the line at the classical ‘Jedi mind trick,’ though it was Thrawn who debunked the mystery: the Chiss were not a people who could be manipulated in this way.

He waited for Vah’nya to select which of the cushions she wished to sit on. She did so cross-legged, the backs of her hands resting open, palms up on her knees. Once she was settled, he kneeled atop the second, grateful not to bear his weight only on the marblesque tiling. Vah’nya took a deep breath in, held it, then exhaled.

“Is this all there is to it?”

“Sort of,” Ezra said. ��Part of it is clearing your mind, but you’re not actually doing that. You’re supposed to be focused, but not. It’s kinda hard to explain. I usually try to feel my connection to everything around me and kind of let it guide me from there.” He rubbed the back of his head, sheepish. “My training was good, but it wasn’t… I’m not a real Jedi, like the ones from before the Empire,” Ezra admitted. “My master was trained until the Empire wiped out his master, but,” He sighed. “It wasn’t a traditional Jedi education. A lot of what I learned with Kanan, we learned together.”

“I see,” Vah’nya said. “He meant a lot to you.”

“He’s family,” Ezra answered. “I owe him everything.”

She nodded once, and they stayed silent a moment, their breathing syncing without much effort. Slowly, the Navigator asked, “Your feelings for him - for your family - do you believe it makes you strong?”

“The Jedi warned about attachment, Kanan told me. It was something he said he struggled with, and something that he thought hurt the Jedi more than it helped. But he taught me attachment and love are two different things. Attachment is selfish. It’s what you want. Real love isn’t selfish at all.”

Vah’nya considered that, shifting to get comfortable and closing her eyes. “Describe to me what your Force feels like, Ezra’Bridger.”

-/

Eli Vanto was not a man who thought highly of himself. He was a man who, in terms of his life overall, had only recently started dictating his own destiny. Sometimes he still felt every bit of the bright-eyed cadet Thrawn had decided to uproot and reshape to his own devices. That was good, though. It was important to remember where one started from.

He looked at the data and exhaled. They needed definitive results that the data supported. Only time would tell. It was already out of his hands in a lot of ways, but he was confident he’d found compelling metrics. More than that, he believed in his Navigators.

A knock interrupted him from his thoughts. Without his approval, the door opened slowly, the hall backlighting behind his visitor so that all he could see was the outline of a woman’s silhouette and glowing red eyes.

“You have been concerning our hosts with your absence,” Admiral Ar’alani said. She would never admit to being openly worried about him herself and Vanto would never want her to. He’d seen that attention and concern pressed upon him once in his life, and that was more than enough. She was a good commanding officer. She was close to Thrawn’s level of mind-reading but without that same intensity, well rounded and seasoned in other ways that he was not. Her empathy, even towards those outside of her species, was impressive and rare for a Chiss.

Ivant beckoned her over, knowing she would feel better about his choice to devote himself to analysis once he brought her up to speed."I know what data we need to collect," He informed her.

"You do?" She stepped around the desk and stood behind him, looming just behind his right shoulder. "Show me."

"In Vah'nya, the data is spotty, since it wasn’t know beforehand what kind of data we’d be looking for." He pulled up and highlighted a line in a table, and on another holoscreen, a chart corresponding to that data appeared. "See where it jumps out of the steady decline? That's her neuro eval on Csilla, after our time in captivity."

"It hasn't dropped since," Ar'alani said. “And it has been two years.”

"I don't think it will," Ivant answered. "A medical professional could probably explain it better, but the short version is that a part of her brain has become more active." He pulled up comparisons of other Navigators. "These are ones who trial out of Project Compass."

"They dip significantly," Ar'alani commented. "And this correlates directly with their abilities?"

"Yes," Vanto confirmed. "These are Navigators in their mid teens, ages fourteen to seventeen. The numbers don't actually have to be high for them to possess and use Third Sight, but the downward trend is indicative of their abilities fading, until they eventually match those of a Sightless Chiss." He pulled up another. "These are the younger ones."

"They are rising." She motioned with a rolling wave. "And Sightless children?"

"Here are the comps."

"Sightless children are elevated more than an adult, but their numbers are not even half that of a Navigator. If what you are saying is correct, we could hypothetically test for Sight at a younger age, rather than waiting for it to manifest."

"Correct, Admiral." Ivant pulled up another screen and the chart switched to color code and match specific lines of summary data. "Now, we just need to prove these findings aren't a fluke."

"You've identified candidates?"

"Several."

"Un'hee," She presumed first, "And how many others?"

"Four." Anticipating her next question, he added, "The youngest is seven. The oldest is fifteen."

"The oldest in her decline?"

"Yes, but she's plateaued. Since being brought on board the Compass, it has not fallen-"

"Even if we can prolong it," She said. "That would be a miracle in itself." Then, she looked down at him, her cold, thin fingers squeezing his shoulder. It was a firm grip, almost painful, though she meant it as encouragement. "You have something else."

"It's a working theory," Ivant began, "Based on how Vah'nya's breakthrough manifested and the girls we've seen progress with."

She stepped back, and Ivant powered down his console, removing the data cards and locking them securely in a black box within the desk itself. "Speak your mind," She said, moving to the chaise.

"I can give you numbers to prove it, when it happens," Ivant said. "I - at least, I think I can show you what the connection is, so we can show the Admiralty it's real and not some fluke. But you or I can't make it happen."

"You believe it is individual?"

He nodded. "Maybe there's a future where that won't be the case," Ivant said, "Vah'nya is working to learn and hone skills she thinks will help. She thinks the Jedi can help her to understand, so I told her to pursue that lead."

"And what do you think the catalyst is? A brush with death? Overcoming fear?"

"No," He said. "I think it's actually a lot more simple than that."

Ar'alani inclined her head, leaning back against the plush backrest of the lounge while keeping her back entirely straight in the process. She looked regal like this, and she knew it. Also, it was far more comfortable than her command chair. "Simple how?"

"Thrawn always went on about the ways of the warrior-"

"Yes," She interrupted, "That is culturally... significant to our people.”

“Which is why I think it’s important. Vah’nya has given Un’hee old navigator texts. They spoke often and fondly of Warrior’s Fortune.”

“The account of one centuries-dead Chiss shouldn’t be enough-”

“It’s not just one. It’s listed in at least a thousand other memoirs left by different Navigators, then stops right around the time of an ancient war that I think had something to do with the Sith.”

Ar’alani frowned, the expression sharp with concern. “Explain yourself. You do not have access to their archives. It is only accessible by Navigators.”

“Vah’nya allowed me to compile data under her supervision.”

“That is a crime, Captain Eli’van’to,” She rebuked. “There are sacred articles that protect the Navigators’ texts and archives from access by those who lack the Sight, Chiss or otherwise.”

Eli took a breath and braced himself. There was no easy way to say this. “I think that the real crime is that the Chiss have been stamping out their own Navigators,” He replied, never looking away from her deep red eyes. “The articles that protect the Navigators’ works from being publically accessible went into effect after they found themselves on the losing end of an alliance. From what I could tell, the Aristocra nearly destroyed itself in the process in the midst of some political feud at about the same time. One of the end results of their squabbles was that the Navigators were forced into more combat-forward positions and likened to soldiers in training, not children.”

“I know my people’s history,” Ar’alani pressed. “To accuse our ancestors of such a thing is a very serious accusation to make. It will not be taken lightly, should it become known.”

“I know,” Ivant agreed, his shoulders rounding for only a second before he straightened again. “But I believe it’s the truth.” He regarded her for a careful moment. “Of all the Navigators you’ve ever seen, can you tell me you’ve seen another as emotionally open or expressive as Vah’nya?”

“I have not,” She answered. “She has always worn her heart on her sleeve, for better or worse. Even when society has dictated otherwise.”

“The warrior’s downfall is pride, Admiral.” He fixed her with a heavy gaze. “The Chiss are a proud people. Most are too proud to show emotion or admit fear because it’s considered weakness. And, seeing it that way, they’re-” He sighed, “For a lack of a better term, ma’am, they’re blinding the Navigators. They’re not making the connections they need to fully unlock their abilities. At least, not like they used to, millennia ago.”

“If you were to say this to the Aristocra, they would throw you out, no matter how many numbers or navigators you provided to them,” Ar’alani said. “You would be lucky to escape without being fired upon.”

Ivant smirked. “Then it sounds like I’m onto something.”

“Perhaps,” She allowed. “Do not utilize the archives without me next time,” She said. “It is not only current Navigators who may access the ancient texts and I would like to know what aspects of our past will help to secure our future.”

Message received, Ivant dipped his head in a respectful nod. “Understood, Admiral.”

Satisfied, she continued. “If what you say is true, Eli’van’to, we will face difficult odds,” Her expression was grim, but held the slightest undercurrent of hope. “The words of an outsider will not be well received, no matter how true they are.”

“I know. That’s why Vah’nya should be the one to present them, when the time comes. She is the one who started all of this.”

Tsking, Ar’alani said, “I hardly believe that. This started because she felt compelled to protect you.”

“This started,” Ivant said, “Because protecting others is a warrior’s duty. And the Chiss, above all else, are warriors at heart.”

Ar’alani smiled. “I do not believe it is only Chiss who possess the heart of a warrior.” Her gaze narrowed, but there was no malice in it, only cool understanding. “Not always.”

[throughawitcheseyes]

Meetings

Julian Stein spent most of his time in the Death City Central Library. Whether the topic was science, world languages, Plasmology, history, or something else that had piqued the boy’s interest that day, Julian could normally be found reading in the back of the library.

No one usually approached him, because who would want to talk to the son of the infamous Dr. Franken Stein? No one except for his best friend, Maka Albarn, of course.

This wasn’t one of those days where he would be left alone to read in peace, though. Julian had been sitting in a bean-bag chair, curled up with a new release the library had managed to acquire, Union of Mythos: How Today’s Generation is Influenced by the Myths of Past. While reading about the Demon Sword Ragnarok and his possible connections to Ragnarök from Norse Mythology, a shadow came into view and he looked up.

Standing in front of Julian was someone he definitely didn’t know. Long black hair with green highlights, pale skin, amber eyes… He had never seen this person in his life.But part of him wanted to get to know them.

The person wore a long-sleeved black shirt promoting a band he had only heard of vaguely—Pierce the Veil—and had a denim jacket over it with the sleeves ripped off. Their jeans were torn and their sneakers looked well worn.

Julian frowned slightly when the person didn’t speak up. “Yes?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“A–Are you Julian Stein?” Their voice was soft and shaking, as if they were afraid of him.

Well, that wasn’t totally unexpected. Most people assumed he was just like his father.It annoyed Julian to no end, but it wasn’t like people usually stayed around him long enough to find out what he was really like.

“And if I am?”

“Well, I, uh… My name’s Ellis Bonner, I–I’m a new student at the DWMA and I… I…”

Julian pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. He stood up, stretching his arms and legs out. They were about the same height, give or take a few inches. Snapping his book closed harshly, he turned to walk away.

“If you can’t get it out, then I’m going to leave,” he said, his tone flat. He was sick of people being afraid of him just because he was Stein’s son. “I have no time to be dealing with people who can’t even speak a single sentence around me.”

“Wait!” They cried out. “I–I’m sorry, I just… I heard the stories about your dad, and I’m… I’m kinda nervous…”

He stopped. “What do you want, Ellis Bonner?” Julian asked, turning his head.

“I want you to be my partner,” Ellis said quickly, before tacking on a, “Please?”

Julian frowned, turning to face Ellis again. No weapon had ever approached him before. No one wanted to be the partner of the Mad Scientist’s son. This seemed too good to be true. “... You are aware I’m currently a NOT student, right? You’re not going to get some action-packed adventure. At least, not yet.”

Ellis nodded quickly, their long hair bouncing. “Y–Yeah… To be honest, I don’t even know if I want to fight like the EAT students. I just wanted to be a normal kid but… ha, guess I’m not,” Ellis rubbed the back of their neck, looking away.

“And why me?”

The weapon sighed. “O–One of the other weapons dared a few of us to try and a–ask you…”

“And you were the only one who had the balls to do it,” Julian smiled. This weapon had guts, then, if they still showed up while being downright terrified of him. “Alright. We can give it a try. How about lunch and then some training?”

Ellis blinked, surprised. “Y–You’re just… Offering to bring me to lunch? Even though you barely know me?”

“Duh. We have to get to know each other a bit more.” He gave a fanged grin. “But first I have to go check out this book.”

Ellis chuckled slightly, looking at Julian warily. The weapon looked like they were almost regretting their choice in asking, but Julian wouldn’t let them back out now.

Lunch had been easy enough. It was after lunch that proved to be the challenging part. Julian had heard a scream come from an alley and, like the person he was, he decided he had to follow it. Which meant Ellis was dragged along.

A woman was backed against an alley wall. A stocky figure dressed in black had her pinned against the wall with a gun pointed at her head. “I said give me all the money!”

“Hey! Pick on someone else, you brute!” Julian called, before looking back at Ellis, who looked terrified. “Transform. Now’s the perfect time to test ourselves.”

“You’re crazy!” Ellis hissed.

The would-be robber turned to look at them and glared. “And what do you two kids think you can do to me?”

“A whole lot,” Julian growled, reaching back for Ellis.

The weapon looked at Julian, then at the man in front of them. They sighed. “Is this going to be my life now?” They asked as they glowed white. “I’m just warning you that I’m still learning here.”

“Anything’s better than nothing, Ellis.”

In Julian’s hands formed a long pole with a spiked tip. Near the top, below the tip, was an intricate amber/gold design, and at the bottom was a bright green blade.

“This is as far as I’ve been able to go,” Ellis sighed, their reflection appearing in the golden design near the top.

“It’s good enough,” Julian replied, shifting into a fighting stance.

“Y–You’re students from the academy!” The thug stammered out. “No amount of money is worth trying to go up against an academy student!” With that, he scrambled away from the woman, moving to take off.

Julian frowned. “You’re not getting away that easily!” he called out. He took a running start, dug the tip of Ellis’ pole into the ground, and used his newfound partner to vault over the thief. The youngest Stein landed gracefully in front of the man, brandishing the sharpest point of his weapon.

“You and I are taking a trip to the police station.”

Ellis, still reflecting off the golden part of their form, watched Julian pin the thug against the wall. “He’s so cool…” they whispered.

“What?” Julian raised an eyebrow as he grabbed the arm of the man tightly.

“Nothing, nothing!”

Julian gave a soft smile. “... Alright, Ellis.”

[ftm-quest]

Hello, so I figured I might as well talk a little bit about my last surgery on the 26th of July.

As I’ve mentioned before, in Germany (or at least in my clinic) there are four total stages to phalloplasty: 1. “kleiner Aufbau” (clitoral release/metoidioplasty, urethral lengthening, vaginectomy, oopherectomy, hysterectomy), 2. “großer Aufbau” (the phallus is formed using skin from the forearm, urethral opening is pointing down again), 3. connection of the new urethra in the phallus, construction of the glans and scrotum, 4. erectile and testicular implants. Far as I’m aware, these stages are broken up to lower the risk for complications.

I am now about 2 weeks post stage 1. Overall I had to stay in the hospital for 10 days post op. I went to the Chirurgische Klinik München Bogenhausen, which is a clinic with a team of very skilled, young and well trained surgeons, well known among trans men for their skill in phalloplasties. Absolutely worth the 6 hour train trip in my opinion. In the following I will go over more detail of my hospital stay.

Day before the surgery

I arrived about an hour late to my pre-treatment interviews the day before the surgery (thank you Deutsche Bahn), which was fine in the end though, but I had to wait a little longer at their offices. The talk with the urologist was very good, I felt like she explained every step well and carefully and took her time with me (not that I needed much because I knew about most things already). After that I got admitted to the hospital, where I already saw some trans men while I was checking in at the reception desk. My room was on station one, which is known for being the station with almost exclusively trans patients. I shared a room with (apparently during his stay) the only other guy that had stage 1 like me. We got along super well, I got to ask him a bunch of questions, it was great. Some time during the evening I had to get an enema to empty out my intestines (I also wasn’t allowed to really eat anything apart from very salty broth as soon as I was admitted, which sucked because I hadn’t eaten much all day), which was an.... interesting experience, but not terrible.

Surgery day

Once again I got lucky and my surgery was the first, so I got woken up at about 6:20 am and got to take another shower (shaved some more, I had already shaved at home which I strongly recommend, especially if you have a lot of body hair like me), put on the hospital gown and waited and waited until about 7:15 am (felt like hours) when I was picked up by a nurse and rolled down to the OP floors. Had to say my name and birth date to about a million people (for confirmation that they got the right guy) and eventually got my narcosis (took longer than for mastectomy).

When I woke up, I kinda just woke up every once in a while for a few seconds and would doze off again. I didn’t really talk to the nurses there, but listened to them talk a bit to other patients. Had a little bit of pain if I remember right in the area of the uterus and I was just kinda sleepy from what I remember. Later, when I was rolled back up to my room, the nurses told me that I had been moving a lot in the wake up room which I have no awareness or memory of at all and they had to give me some more meds to keep me still. Back in my room I think I was a bit better again, talked a bit to my roommate and all. I can’t remember that much from that day, but I know it was very uneventful, I slept a bunch.

Days after surgery

I hadn’t really eaten anything for the first one or two days after surgery because I was afraid of having to puke from the anesthesia, but eventually I got around to it some morning. On the first day post op I got to stand up once for a few seconds, felt a little woozy and then lied down again. Overall I sometimes had pain mostly in the urethra area, didn’t have much pain from the vaginectomy at first. They give you lots of pain meds tho, so it never really gets bad. On day 2 post op they helped me stand up again and from that point on I was allowed to stand up and walk around on my own, empty my catheter on my own and so on. Walking was a little uncomfortable, I had to walk kinda slow and all. Also that day my roommate got released after having some troubles urinating without a catheter, but eventually it worked out for him and he didn’t need to get another suprapubic catheter. On day 3 post op I had to switch rooms (I later found out that my old room got women and I guess they didn’t want to have mixed rooms) and my new roommate was just at stage 3. We didn’t get along quite as perfectly as I did with my roommate before (we were both sad he had to leave so soon), but we eventually got along better and better as time progressed. He had some more complications and we both ended up leaving the hospital on the same day. But it was pretty cool because he told me a bunch about the second stage, gave me some tips and actually showed me his penis. It was really amazing seeing it in person and not just in photos, it does look and seem quite different, but it looked very impressive and real and I just can’t wait.

At day 4 post op they removed the drain and the “band aids” over my genitalia which finally removed the pains I was getting from the band aids pushing into my vaginectomy wounds, but on the downside introduced me to the real annoyances and pains of catheters. Since now the catheter was free to move around (before it was fixed through the thick layers of band aids) it could introduce all kinds of discomfort and pains to the sensitive area. I’d say it progressively moves from just being annoying to being more and more painful. In general my t-dick has been feeling painfully overstimulated since about 6 or so days post op and it still does. On the other hand catheters are also kinda handy since you don’t have to get up all the time to pee! Also after the removal of the last band aid one day later I was finally allowed to shower again. Very difficult and painful with a catheter.

Moving around was pretty easy for me relatively early on and I could do most things already just a few days post op, except for sitting. I was worried the sitting could cause problems on the train ride home, but when I tried to sit again on the last days, I could do it without much trouble.

As the days went on, the catheter got more annoying, I got less pain meds (only at night) and the days became more and more boring. Finally on day 9 post op I got my catheter removed very early in the morning. Short little sting but nothing bad. At first I had trouble peeing and I felt like I couldn’t completely empty my bladder. Later on though, when I had an ultrasound to check on the amount of urine in my bladder (my brother who is studying medicine did it because the doctor found out that he studies medicine and wanted to let him try, was kinda awkward), I only had about 40ml in my bladder which is more than good enough, thus sealing the decision that I will be allowed to leave the next day. On that day I also took a shower and peed in the shower (which worked much easier than sitting on the toilet for some reason) and the feeling of seeing your stream go forward like that and being able to control where it goes... Much more impactful that I ever imagined. I also eventually tried standing to pee at the toilet which worked out pretty well, although I get tiny sprinkles at the edges of the toilet (no idea why) and I have to get my pants down completely. The last few drops have to be dried with a piece of toilet paper.

And so I did, the train ride back luckily did not have nearly as many problems as the ride there, although I did have to carry my luggage a bit (which you aren’t really supposed to because it’s too heavy...). On the plus side, I peed standing at a public toilet on the train for the first time, which was also pretty awesome. No more sitting on disgusting public toilets!

Days at home

On the first morning home, I had a bit of a shock because I initially experienced the same problems as my first roommate that I couldn’t pee well as in only drops came out instead of a stream and it felt like my bladder wasn’t completely emptied. Luckily it got better an hour or so later. I’ve been having that problem for all days since I got home although I noticed it got a bit better since about yesterday. Most likely areas around my urethra are more internally swollen at night and thus close the urethra a bit in the morning. I actually feel pain when I completely empty my bladder right in the area where it feels like the swollen tissue is compromising the urethra. Overall though, it’s just getting better and better. I haven’t been taking any meds in a long time, the stitched already look really well healed, the wounds on the stomach from the oopherectomy and hysterectomy are super tiny for me and already super well healed.

I won’t have to work for the next 1 1/2 weeks, which should be more than enough time to recover. Honestly with the work I do I could already work again, but hey gotta use any sick leave you get right. I am a little bored most days, but my girlfriend is coming back soon so then things will get brighter and more fun again!

Next surgery and conclusion

My time at the hospital was boring, but almost all nurses were very friendly, funny and competent, the food was decent (hated dinner) and to me it was just an incredible experience that is hard to describe to be at a clinic where almost everyone is a trans patient that is further along in their medical transition than I am. You see so little of trans men in media, in communities just anywhere and even less of trans men with bottom surgery. It’s been my experience as well many others that the further along you go on your road to and along phalloplasty the harder it gets to relate to trans men that are still early in their transition. So finally being around people like me and people more experienced than me in this aspect was just amazing and I am very grateful and looking forward to my next stay.

Regarding that, from what I heard from other trans men usually the waiting time for stage two is about 4 months, which won’t work for me because of university. I hope I will be able to get an appointment in mid February because that will be the last time I can be missing for 6 weeks (I will most likely be doing internships this time next year). More importantly I hope my arm will be ready in time as I have not yet been able to start epilation because of the long long process of getting confirmations from my insurance. I am now waiting on the last confirmation after having had a consulation and after that I can finally start. Hopefully at least the area they use to build the urethra will be done in time, as the rest can be done post op as well.

Additionally, I find it interesting to note that from what I hear in the clinic, most patients that have complications are smokers, so since I have never smoked in my life and my healing so far has went really well, I count my chances high for staying complication-free.

In the end, this stage 1 doesn’t do much for me in regards to dysphoria apart from the fact that I can pee standing (just not at urinals), but with this experience of having surgery, being closer to phalloplasty than ever and having met and talked to men that have already had it, I have never been more excited and anxious to finally have phalloplasty and I really really can’t wait until it’s finally here. I know the hospital time will be very difficult, but the joys and new discovery of my own body and more will be worth all the struggle.