#it is funny that my parents were ‘education is the most important thing’ and ‘you will never get back these years’

[evie-doesnt-write]

I hate this assignment so fucking bad

[34saveme34]

blasts you with my laser of productivity

EPISODE 1 !!!!!!!!!

Getting Along?

Heh, when I write it like that I doubt it :3

some warnings: 3 drops the f bomb but it's cool, he's gay, also he curses a lot but you haaaaave to forgive him

what like. 5k words, I don't remember. lotta exposition, sorry in advance but I prommy I got some good scenes

SMG4 was freshly graduated from highschool. With an interest in creative writing, he decided to further his education in college. He heard some things about it but deep in his heart hoped that they really didn’t mean it when they said it would be more partying than studying. Sure, he wasn’t exactly the most diligent student, he cared more about his youtube channel he had been building for a while but parties kind of… freaked him out. What’s fun about being in a cramped place with other people, getting sweaty from just standing, the loudness of music and ESPECIALLY the smell of alcohol. So, he just hoped it wouldn’t be that way.

He only found a college kind of far away though that he also found good enough, that meant he had to stay in a dormitory.

He had never lived in one so he was just hoping he’d get cool roommates.

The day came, he had to move in, he brought a lot of stuff. He hoped his roommate wouldn’t mind, as he found out this dorm had 2 people per room. Which lowered the risk of him getting someone annoying. He was glad about that.

He took his time packing out, especially with his pc. His most prized possession. Not only was it super expensive, he had good memories with it. And it was also the hub for his super cool program, the Puzzle Wizard.

But this was no ordinary program no… It came from his special USB! 

Because, let’s not pretend he was just some normal guy (have you read the fanfic title?). He had cool powers and he would obviously use them. And his favourite was definitely this silly program that talked to him like a living being. If it wasn’t a computer program, he would call it his friend.

He set everything up and he was already looking for inspiration to work on stuff further for his youtube channel when his new roommate stepped in. While he himself was an average T-shirt + pants guy, this guy was… More. With his overalls that ended in shorts, painted nails, possibly using some make up yet with a beard. He envied that a little bit, he was never able to grow facial hair. He wasn’t sure he liked the vibes of the guy though. And as fate would have it, the look 4 gave this guy only made him say something that just made him dislike him more.

“What, never saw a flesh and blood fag in real life or something?” the guy said. 4 flinched at his words. He barely got here and immediately started out like this? 

“Umm… you can’t say that on youtube” it slipped out of his mouth and he felt himself choke on his breath as he coughed as he just realised how god damn stupid he sounded. The guy looked at him weird.

“Christ” the guy sighed “Name’s Trey by the way”

“Uhuh… I’m SMG4…”

“Like, legally?”

“Uhuh…”

“Do your parents hate you or something?”

“I chose it myself” 4 looked at him kind of annoyed before he put on headphones.

“Ah, well” he didn’t seem bothered as he instead just went to pack out. He brought his laptop and posters. A few were some alternative bands and one was the pop singer, Peach, also called Princess. And did she really deserve that name with the looks she pulled off. Trey put together quite the composition with Peach in the middle of it. He also pulled out his laptop and put away other important stuff like clothes and whatever else. 4 didn’t pay much attention to it after all. He was busy, trying to decide if the memes he was watching were funny enough or not to get referenced in his videos.

The rest of the day went quiet. Guess their interaction was so awful they just both decided it wasn’t worth it to talk. Or maybe 4 just found memes more amusing than his roommate. And maybe his new roommate thought he was a weirdo. Greatest first impressions.

4 was horrified the next day when he realised that there would be a freshman’s greeter type of thing. 

While his new roommate participated in it pretty well, going for the challenges himself and not doing awful at them, even gaining new friends along the way, 4 decided to avoid them. As much as he could at least. Although after having a bit of an anxiety attack they let him not do it. He just really hated stuff like this and social events always made him feel like this. He would avoid birthday parties like the plague even when he was small.

He went back to his room and decided to open his phone to check the news. To his dismay, a creature resembling a meme was roaming the city he so happened to reside in. It was almost like they were following him around. He was no stranger to these kinds of guys as he had to fight them before, with the power of his USB. 

He set off, especially considering he knew he wouldn’t be missed anyways. Usually, he would be making sure people didn’t see him setting off, especially considering how much different he looks when he uses the power of the USB. First time he transformed, which was in highschool, he felt like a caterpillar that turned into a butterfly. And to this day, it still felt the same way.

Trey himself had his phone with himself and saw the news as well. He so happened to have one of those USBs himself. He realised he had to go out now himself. Though, the 2 didn’t know that about each other. Who knows how long they’ll take…

He excused himself, especially since the events kind of calmed down at this point.

He went back to his room. Seeing 4 wasn’t in anymore made him a bit more comfortable as he transformed into his cooler attire with the power of his own USB. It honestly kind of resembled his usual style just better, with the sleek double shorts and the cute top with the long sleeves that were a bit wider by the ends, with the knee length boots to match it, all of it purple and a colour close to black. He was honestly proud of how he managed his outfit, but he was especially proud of the ponytail he sported with it. Made him feel really cool, especially if he aimed right with his cool gun he also had. Like, what could possibly be hotter than a pretty guy aiming flawlessly with a cool gun?

He left, he knew the city pretty well and based on the picture alone he quickly found the creature loose. Although, it looked bigger than what he thought it would be, which worried him. Would he be able to handle it alone? Well, he had to try!

He snuck around, trying to find a good place to aim from. Especially if he missed, he should have a good way to hide. He waited for the right time to aim but before he could even try, another figure appeared with a blue flash, slashing at the enemy with quite the elegant glide and then stopping at the top of a building beside it. As the dust cleared from such a fast and swift movement, he saw the guy. With the cute skirt, the determined face with sparkling eyes, the long gloves, the boots too- wow, what an outfit. Especially with the mainly light blue and white colour scheme the guy had going on. It was pretty cute. He shook his head as he went back to what he wanted to do, shooting at the creature wreaking havoc. The magical energy bullet from his gun fired hit the monster square in the forehead. It toppled over. The sword wielding guy looked up at him. He looked back. They were clearly looking at each other. Trey decided to try his luck, jumping down beside him.

“Nice shot” the sword wielder said, with a smile on his face. Honestly, his vibes were impeccable, not only did he dress cute, he had a good energy to him too, like you could work better beside him.

“Nice slash” he replied similarly.

The guy chuckled.

“We’re not done yet, this guy is more resilient… the uh… I don’t know if you name these guys but they’re the meme Pingas I’m pretty sure”

“Huh… I never noticed they were memes”

They stood there for a bit.

“So… You only fought alone before?” the guy asked a bit awkwardly.

“Yep, first time I saw someone as cool as me around” he smiled. The compliment was received with light surprise and a smile. He looked like he never received compliments… With that kind of fit too?? That’s criminal.

“Heh… Well, any ideas for how to beat this guy? It usually takes too long on my own”

“If you open its mouth I can throw a grenade in there”

The sword wielder looked surprised again, more surprised than before.

“You don’t mess around, huh?”

“It’s not worth it”

“Fair, alright, I’m in but make sure to aim right”

“I’m all about aiming, don’t worry”

The guy nodded then went off. He quickly had the creature down. 3 prepared his gun in the meantime. A grenade made with his energy  was one of a kind and took a bit to be created but then he had to be quick. He learned in his younger days that these things blowing up in his face were anything but great. Especially the ringing in his ears….

And almost like perfect calculation and beautiful teamwork, he aimed and it went right where it needed to and purified the creature in one strike, something rare for either of the 2. Now it could run off, tiny and harmless.

As they both admired the work they did, they realised they didn’t have to do anything else now.

“So we’re already done huh?” Trey spoke up first.

“Mhmm… seems so”

“Well, hope to see you around, you’re cool”

“Heh well, you too” 

And so they both went on their own ways

Trey got back to 4 already on his pc. They didn’t say a thing to each other.

Another awkward day that passed. At least something exciting happened that day with this new guy. Oh… he never asked what his name was. Well, now he was hoping for another monster so he could actually ask.

He laid down, tired. As his eyes wandered, he ended up staring at whatever 4 was doing. He seemed to be using quite the expressive program as it jumped around on his screen. With a TV for a head too, it looked kind of silly too. 

“What kinda program is that?” he said that out loud. He didn’t mean to but whatever.

He didn’t expect an answer though.

“It gets me addons”

“Addons?” 

“Yep. For games. Do you not know what games are?”

Trey scoffed.

“What are you, Saint Peter with the way you’re gatekeeping?”

He sighed.

“Sure. But yeah, it gets me addons I need for my production”

“Do you mean your youtube channel?” 

“Ah, you noticed I have one?”

“You barely looked at anything else so far, it’s hard not to notice. It’s like… wow, he isn’t hanging on youtube anymore, is he sick”

4 glared at him.

“It’s my life work”

“That’s sad”

“I’m now leaving this conversation”

“What??” Trey was flabbergasted. He didn’t get a reply. Maybe he was a bit too rude..? Well, what was done was done, he couldn’t take his words back. Not like he cared.

The freshman thing continued the next day too, with different challenges too. 4 seemed to inexplicably disappear before it started again. Trey couldn’t decide if he was glad. He was debating if he should try and actually get along with this guy or ask to switch with someone else.

Well, regardless, he went and had fun. The day went by fast, he almost forgot about his confusing roommate. 

Just as he was about to go back to his room, he heard loud roaring outside. He sighed and bolted in the bathrooms then left through the open window there. It was a bit hard squeezing through but that wouldn’t stop him.

As he left he saw the same guy with the pretty fit. He actually had his arrow out, which was blue, trying to control the corrupted meme. He had one too, but purple. If he had to explain it, it’s like a lasso made with life energy of the holder using it. He didn’t understand why it was an arrow too and now seeing this guy had a pretty similar one if it meant anything more. He shook his head, he had to focus and not get lost in the sword wielder’s skillful fighting and the implications of his existence.

He jumped up beside him.

“What is it this time?”

“It’s that uh… the T-rex meme from jeez… long ago. I don’t know why an unfunny ancient meme would show up like this”

“Unfunny…? I kinda liked it actually”

He sighed.

“We can discuss meme culture later, can you help?”

“Uhuh, yeah” Trey replied delayed, a tiny bit awkward, he was not the type to get distracted like this. If only this guy wasn’t so pretty-

He summoned his arrow as well, tying down the meme in another place, making it unable to move.

“Alright, now we need a plan”

“Oh you’ve got one too, cool” sword wielder guy pointed at the arrow “It actually gives me an idea” 

He hopped next to Trey, still keeping a good grip on his arrow as he shared his idea quietly, as to not alert the meme of it. Trey nodded, as they still both held onto the meme.

“You know, I just remembered this philosophical dilemma I read about the other day…”  4 said, as if casually talking and this wasn’t part of their plan.

“Yeah?” 

“It’s about that ship? With the replacing parts thing.”

“Ah, yeah, it’s kinda dumb as fuck”

“I know right!”

The meme was rather alert, listening to their conversation.

“It’s like, who cares, there’s better things to worry about in life than if some dude’s ship is still the same thing… or whatever the heck they meant by it”

“Really, genuinely, it’s so nonsensical. Only dumb fucks think about it too hard”

“And what was the guy’s name? Something with like… T”

“T more like Totally worthless hah, especially for getting himself such a shitty ship!”

The meme, with its love for philosophy, couldn’t take the slander anymore and started wailing. Trey didn’t waste time, basically purple fire blowtorching the meme through its open mouth. It was distracting enough for 4 to let go of it with his own arrow and slashing down on it with his sword with all the strength he could put into it. The meme was defeated.

“Easy as hell!” Trey boasted.

“Teamwork sure makes this stuff faster”

“Say… what’s your name?”

“I can’t tell you that I think” 

“Man… am I supposed to call you pretty sword guy for all eternity then?”

4 reddened at the compliment.

“You don’t need to, besides I’m not pretty”

Trey looked at 4 like he was the biggest dumbass in the whole world.

“Dumbass” and he called him one too.

“Ah??” the tone surprised 4.

“I mean, you’re just wrong. Might resort to calling you Blue then, at least it’s cute enough for you”

4 thought for a moment.

“Okay but… what do I call YOU then? Careless flirt?” 

Trey chuckled.

“I’ll take that as a compliment. But we could match, just call me Purple”

“Purple, ay? If that’s what you want”

“Then we’re settled”

And so they went on their ways, somehow avoiding each other on their way back to their rooms. 

And this would continue, with them getting along as heroes but not as roommates, even after the year started. Unfortunately, they attended the same course so they went to just about all the same classes as luck would have it. Trey for this reason would often go later just so he didn’t need to pass by him, it wasn’t something he wanted to deal with after all, it was enough to take his energy as he was in their room. Just silently clicking away, with a look of determination, it was admirable in a really ugly way. Like, there was dedication but only for watching memes and editing videos he didn’t get personally. This guy was anything but charming. Sitting by himself in class, eating and chilling out by himself in breaks. Just in general, doing things alone. 

All the while, he’d fight with this cool sword wielder guy who, unbeknownst to him was the same damn guy. And each time it was as good as the first, their plans always working out. He was actually really starting to like this guy. He almost started looking forward to monsters appearing so they could fight together again. What he found weird is that these guys actually started showing up more frequently now, which meant he had to excuse himself more and more and make up excuses. His friends would ask if he was fine a lot. And he would assure them that he was just totally sneaking off because class was too boring and they’d just laugh it off. He would also discuss his roommate with them, talking about how awful it was to be with him. He was actually considering asking for a different roommate.

He would hold off for a while though, only 4 weeks had passed so far. He didn’t believe Mr Watch Memes And Edit Video would change his mind and suddenly talk to him but he was willing to maybe give it a few more days. Only a few more days.

And just as faith would have it, a fateful day, a Saturday, would change their lives as it had been at this point.

Trey woke up, feeling a bit unusual but nothing too weird. His bed also felt weirdly different but he decided to pay it no mind. He got up to go to the bathroom, which felt shorter than usual. As he approached the mirror, it hit him like a bullet. It wasn’t HIM looking back from the mirror. It wasn’t his bored face with his usual messy hair, it was his shitty roommate with his shorter hair and blue eyes that probably never looked at anyone with warmth in them.

He panicked as he went out, indeed seeing himself in his own bed. He wasn’t the type to panic but man, did something settle in him then. Maybe it was his roommate being prone to feeling panicked. What a loser.

He was trying to think, what could make this possible. He sat down on his roommate’s bed. Thinking stuff through rationally, even if his roommate's anxiety ridden head was making it hard.

Why would they swap bodies in the first place? Did they do something they weren’t supposed to? No way, they barely interact. Is… Is that what was bad? But how was this even possible in the first place? No way some kind of energy beyond them thought that he had to get along specifically with this one annoying guy. And it could’ve been more merciful. Didn’t need to immediately make it feel like a punishment. He sat around for a while, not really knowing what to do. He didn’t really know what to do with his hands so he played with the necklace 4 had. It had a white USB as the pendant. 

He took a closer look at it, seeing that it’s seemingly functional. He took his laptop from his own bed, turned it on and decided that today he just won’t give a shit about possibly giving himself a virus. This was just all too interesting to him. He wanted to know more.

It loaded up. A folder came up but it had a ton of files, which were encrypted. Each one he tried to click made a window pop up to give a password.

“Damn it…” he spoke under his breath, feeling a little weird about not hearing his own voice. 

“Need help?” a voice spoke from his laptop.

“What the??” he recoiled a little, only to see his roommate’s silly little helper pop out.

“Oh, I’m sorry, did I scare you? I didn’t mean to! What are you struggling with?”

“Uhh…” Trey wasn’t sure how to go about this.

“I see you were trying to open encrypted files! Did you forget the passwords? Although thus far I didn’t take you as one to be forgetting PASSWORDS of all things, SMG4….. and you did tell me to protect them…. AND protect them I will”

Trey sighed.

“I don’t even know how to begin explaining”

“I’m afraid I do not understand”

“Like I do, damn!”

The TV stared at him.

“You’re not 4, are you?”

“Yes but no- I- I think we switched bodies?”

“HUH that’s…. quite the predicament…. with who again?”

“I’m his roommate”

“Oh, yeah, right, the annoying one!”

“How nice of you to say that”

“I would prefer if this wasn’t the case though… how about we wake up 4 to figure out something?”

“Are you not even surprised at the bodyswap?”

“A little bit! But a lot of strange things happen to my dear favourite user so what can I really do, hehe!”

“What… strange things?”

“Oh, you know, just all sorts of things with… memes and stuff. Getting weird injuries… That one time in highschool when his pendrive refused to work for him due to cosmic powers messing with it and he fixed it by… oh, what was it again?”

Trey felt like something wasn’t adding up.

“You’re not telling me something”

“Eh?”

“I’m right, aren’t I? What’s your name again… Puzzle Wizard”

“I’m a computer program! I can’t lie!”

“Uhuh, and you’re also not talking to me intelligently with a voice that text to speech couldn’t simply do, yes?”

“4 just made me really awesome like that! But you wouldn’t know because you wouldn’t even give him a chance!”

“He didn’t give me one either so why should I? What I get what I give, it’s that easy”

“Simple-minded! When he would leave me for whatever reason I didn’t just change my mind about him! Even though I missed him dearly each time…”

“Oooookay… let’s just wake him up!”

But just as he said that, 4 did indeed wake. He sat up, looking around, his eyes landing on himself. Which wasn’t him. He shook his head but it wouldn’t go away.

“What the…” 4 spoke but immediately stopped. That wasn’t his own voice.

“Yes, we swapped, like… fuck I guess this Saturday wasn’t meant to be good”

“Ugh… What..?” 

Trey got up and walked up to his own bed towered over his swapped roommate.

“Exactly what I said. We swapped for some reason. I’m still trying to figure out why but your weirdo program is being cagey about something”

“Don’t abuse Puzz!” 

“I’m not abused one bit! Just annoyed… and puzzled, heh… get it? hahh,,”

4 got up, looking at his digital companion on Trey’s laptop.

“Alright, good… What were you doing with my pendrive anyways?”

“Oh just… felt familiar in a way… I…” he trailed off, staring at his own pendrive. 

4 followed his eyes. 

“You… carry a pendrive on your neck too? Like a pendant?” he grabbed it.

“Yeah” Trey looked out of it.

“Wh… What for..?”

But he didn’t answer.

Instead he left and locked the bathroom on himself.

4 was left there, realising it alone.

“So… he’s been the… ph-… Purple…Well, ah- that sure is a lot to take in…”

He sat down, looking at Puzzles on Trey’s laptop.

“Well, what can you do? I guess it was… one way to have that dropped on you… Not that I knew I’m just- trying my best to comfort you”

“I appreciate it” 4 smiled at them “Still, this is quite peculiar” 

“Maybe the cosmic forces thought you needed to get along?”

“What is it with these cosmic forces and trying to ruin my life?”

“I mean… last time you learned valuable things too… maybe this time won’t be any different, as much as it pains me to say”

“I just… don’t know how the least nice roommate I could have and the coolest fighter by my side I could have are the same… and he said I was cute! Many times! I even… kind of started believing him but this… Oh I bet he doesn’t feel that way anymore”

“Well, I do think you’re still cute”

4 only sighed. He was feeling so many things. Disappointment, a sort of fear, like he was about to get accused of something bad, especially if it meant a lot for him, just general bitterness. 

Puzzles looked sad over how his words didn’t even really seem to be received. If only it were to be only the 2 of them…

“Hey, I wonder…” Puzzles started again, awkwardly, trying to bring his favourite user’s spirits up “I wonder what could be on your roommate’s pendrive? Since you- had me and all”

“I’m not exactly one to invade another person’s privacy buuuuuut….”

“Buuut?” Puzzles looked at him with big innocent eyes. He wanted to look at those files BADLY. 

“I’ll consider it as payback” 4 said then plugged the other pendrive in 3’s laptop since it was turned on anyways. 

As it opened they both noticed nothing was encrypted, besides a file type he was already familiar with. He messed with that kinda thing before and through quite the blunder, he found out it was the energy source of the pendrive. Interestingly, it was named a CTMGC file. He didn’t find anything about it, why would he anyways? It was… one of a kind… and overheated his pc once when he tried to open it. 

Anyways, other than that, it seemed to be songs sorted into folders by the albums they belonged in. There was a special folder just for Peach/Princess albums. Looking at Trey’s wall, which was full of posters, with Peach/Princess in the  middle, it was no wonder. It was easy to tell how much he loved the singer. If only 4 cared about this.

“Ugh… really, nothing?” he looked further while complaining.

But then…

An OGG file…

It was named.

A shitty mistake.

Finding it odd, 4 got his headphones out, giving it a listen. The song was maybe… a bit rough around the edges. Amatour work. The song had drums, maybe one or 2 guitarists and one bass guitar player based on what 4 could hear though he wasn’t the best at this kind of stuff. And then the singing kicked in. It was like… oh. Ooooooh, now the name made sense. That was this asshole singing. But he probably sounded the nicest out of everything. Standing out in some way, yet drowned out by awfully mixed instruments. It was kind of a shame. 4 was starting to like it. Even if the guy behind the voice still wasn’t to his liking. He wondered how they could even end up in the same dorm. 2 people so different. Probably never truly meant to meet. 

Meanwhile, Trey wasn’t coping well, staring at his reflection, trying to figure out how Blue and this loser could be the same. When Blue was cute, good to work with, can be communicated with unlike 4. How could they ever be the same? He liked one and couldn’t look at the other. As he looked in the mirror more, he got lost a bit. Just staring. And staring. As if bitter loneliness was hidden in his eyes. He wasn’t sure if this loneliness belonged to him or 4. What did it matter anyways, besides the fact that it captured him, as if the world stopped existing, even if he felt like he pulled a whole world of stress on himself with this. He didn’t want to kind of like this guy. 

He didn’t like him.

He didn’t like him.

He would never like him.

There was no way to.

Yet a sort of energy ran through him, as if it was beyond him. A connection he didn’t want or asked for. As if tied down in a way he never asked for. He found it scary. He wished this was a nightmare but reality wouldn’t be so merciful on him. He grabbed the sink as if it was at fault for his condition.

He sat down on the cold ground. Maybe he did think 4 was kind of cute either way. Not the first time he thought someone was cute yet  he despised them. And at this rate it probably wouldn’t be the last with the kind of people he finds cute… Eh, he’ll just… take off stress elsewhere when all this is over. Maybe move rooms so he’d have to think less about it. Avoid 4 in fights. They didn’t truly need each other for this anyways. He worked on his own, purifying memes by himself for so long anyways, he could always go back to it. 

After so much anguish he left the bathroom, noticing 4 was listening to something on his laptop.

As he took a closer look, he realised what it was. He immediately closed it on 4, without a word or a reason spoken.

“So, you’re a singer or something?”

“Were. Now shut up, I’m not gonna talk about it” 

4 froze at the cold answer. What could have happened that made him despise the song so much?

“I mean, yeah it’s not the best but…”

But he wouldn’t get an answer.

4 looked out the window.

“Trey..” 4 said “We should probably only move from each other when we figure out how to… turn back…”

Trey sighed.

“Sadly, I agree.”

They shared silence, it wasn’t uncomfortable, just tense and full of pain in such a specific way. Emotion was one hell of a torture method when it wanted to be.

It was gonna be one hell of a weekend, that was for sure.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

How do I talk to a fourth grader about sex Ed? Are there books or an online resource for parents you recommend?

hi there, thank you for asking!

the book that I use to teach OWL classes is Robie Harris' It's Perfectly Normal; I strongly recommend getting ahold of the revised & updated edition from 2021, which is more inclusive and queer-friendly, but even the older edition is a pretty good starting place.

it can be a great way to start the conversation if the fourth grader in question hasn't approached you with their own questions about sex and bodies, which can be daunting for a lot of kids, especially if that hasn't historically been the vibe when you interact! they may not know a lot at that point, but most kids have definitely absorbed that sex is something that they're not supposed to talk about.

if they're feeling up to having a chat beyond the basics (anatomy, reproduction 101, changes that come with puberty, squiggly crush feelings, consent and no means no, etc), that's awesome! I find most kids in the 4th-6th grade range already have a lot more information about sex than most people expect; they just have it jumbled up and out of order and lack the tools to make sense of it. ie, I've had students who know about periods but are under the impression that they come out of the butt, understand that a baby grows inside of a person but have no clue how it gets out, and make jokes about someone getting ejaculated on because they know it's Inappropriate and therefore funny but don't actually have any idea what ejaculation actually is or why it happens.

so, you know. much to work on there!

honestly I think the #1 most important thing for any adult trying to be a good ally and educator to young people is to kill the urge to cringe literally ever at all about anything, because the second you make a kid feel weird for asking a question is the second they start hesitating to confide in you with their questions. I've had to poker face kids asking me why someone would ever put someone else's penis in their mouth, what a harem is, and kids very earnestly describing their first wet dreams without having any idea that they were describing wet dreams. there cannot be any "no," it's "yes, and" from here on it. "yes that sounds weird to you, and it's completely fine to do that with people you trust if and when you feel ready to have sex" has got to be the constant refrain. be as rigorously open-minded and non-judgmental as possible establishes that you are a safe person to talk to honestly, and encourages your kiddo to be similarly curious and accepting.

if you ever find yourself really flustered by a question, or you genuinely don't have an answer, it's okay to pull a "I don't know! let me find out more information and get back to you." (also great behavior to model for kids, btw.) if you're ever stumped trying to figure out how to break something down into 4th grader-sized chunks, I recommend Scarleteen as a starting place - it's a sex ed forum run by volunteers for teens, some of them pretty young, so the answers are written very accessibly.

easing into the topic by discussing things like feelings and puberty can be a great way to ease in. have they talked about puberty at school? are their friends having any bodily changes? how do people talk about bodies? do kids get made fun of for developing breasts or growing body hair? does anyone at school date? how does the kid you're talking with feel about all of that? I might just be blessed with unusually gossipy kids, but they LOVE dishing about how other kids act. I learn so so much about my students by asking them to tell me how their peers behave at school; they love to narc.

also: it can be a huge bummer if YOU were really ready to rumble being sex positive and a source of info, but sometimes kids just aren't ready to engage with that. I've know 4th graders who are extremely at eases talking about the ins and outs of vaginal anatomy and 6th graders who would rather run away than even acknowledge genitals exist; there's no predicting when anyone will be comfortable with this. to a certain degree you might need to encourage a kid through initial awkwardness, but if they're reaching a point of serious distress and discomfort we've got to let it go. unfortunately I've taught kids who reacted to their parents' enthusiasm for sex positivity by wilting in exactly the opposite direction, getting anxious and confrontational whenever the topic came up. the majority of kids will become curious in their own time, especially as puberty and sexuality becomes more pressing to them and their peers, and sometimes the best thing you can do is leave that door open for them to return to in their own time.

also, hey! if you're ever really really stuck, I'm here on tumblr dot com :) I'm by now means an expert, but I've taught a LOT of fourth graders what a condom is.

[sharklovingaquarist]

Lets talk about the "birth rate crisis" (another long one 😝)

Well, I mean, I really don't know how to word it any other way... It's bullshit. It's a poorly thought-out, POORLY HIDDEN male breeding fetish shoved into the facade of "science" (as are most things). It has never been about babies. I took environmental science (to preface I had a republican teacher so I'm not great at it, yay Florida education) and the birth rate being the focus of concern with the label "wellbeing of our country and population" slapped on it is so funny. The actual population is determined with birth rates as a singular component... it also includes DEATH RATE. This idea that population equals birth rate (or like that's the component that's lacking) when the medical system all over the world neglects female health is the most brainwashed shit I've ever heard in my life. In Florida, the 4th ammendment on the ballot talked about late term abortion decreasing population as if thats not a case where the woman is dying. Its like if I was really concerned over the rate of conception, it doesnt equal population. If it was REALLY ABOUT the population, it would consider the rates at which females die in childbirth, infant mortality, and many more factors in wellbeing... especially male caused factors.... even in environmental science, we were taught that "fertility rates" were how many children FEMALES were producing. It makes no sense, human reproductive strategy calls for a male and a female to raise their child together. It calls for monogamy. So why aren't we including men? "Well, not all mothers have the father involved." I'm glad you mentioned that. So along with all this about women producing children, how come you never hear about men? At what rate do men cause mortality within reproduction (because as far as I know, the people who swear it's about human wellbeing never wanna look into male health. Why is female health only important when a man could cause death to another human who isnt himself)? Paternal/spousal abuse? Male fertility? Male involvement? They think human reproduction is the same as domestic cats! Males wander the street, mating with any female they find... so obviously, it's a female issue! Have you ever noticed how it's only MEN throwing a tantrum over birth rates?! BECAUSE IT IS A POORLY DISGUISED HATRED AND FETISH WITH THE WORD SCIENCE WRITTEN ON IT. Males in nature are the ones seen as production, the tools females use. The human males of our species decided to completely flip that. Sure, females may carry out the aftermath of the situation, but who caused it to happen in the first place? Both parents!!! If our culture was a matriarchy where men were treated like shit and controlled for their reproductive value, you'd see a decrease in male production. If we controlled ever little bit about males including drinking, eating, exercise, because we only saw them as sperm donors and made this huge fuss about a decrease in male quality, you'd see a decrease too. When you have a monogamous animal, the male and female rules don't differ. Both processes are meaningless alone for population, they only contribute. One sex makes up for another.

But nah, liberal men and conservative men alike will chalk up the decline to "uhhhh expense of living uhhhhhh." Because trust me every time a liberal misogynistic male brings it up and I come with the "actually it's an issue of misogyny, " he'll try to discredit me with some dumbass shit. "Actually no my wife doesn't wanna be my broodmare bc uh economy :(" It really shows how men are men are men, none of them are good. But liberal man may treat you like a glorified AKC poodle not a factory farm sow! WOW! Not to mention if this was really about population than we'd care more about homeless kids, immigrant children, foster care kids, much more. It's never been about kids it's always been about controlling women and a male obsession with turning his previous higher-up into his stock. Period. An idea that he caused indirect pain to a woman with "his" child rather than his wife provided her strength. Our perception is the biggest culprit of this situation, a perception made by years of lazy male manipulation that I'm surprised even worked

Even mortality and economy considered, where we are most deficient in acknowledgment is culture. How are females treated with reproductive status? How does their life change? How does their mental health change? How do men fail women? That statement covers it all. Because as someone who has animal experience, animals that are supposed to raise young with the other parent will abandon or kill the young when the other parent isn't sufficient. Nature will always prioritize an adult life over an infant. Kindly, men did this to themselves. You force women into a corner, and once they are in that corner, you beat down on us with all your might, blaming us for being there. None of it is innate. All of it is made up. And that is why men always bring up female education within population. Because once women start to see through this breeder shit they'll treat themselves right, they'll realize how much of a shit show it is, how much men use the word science against them.

Sorry if this was at all redundant and nonsensical. Hopefully, this can inspire more to think. And thank you very much if you read this far. My warning to younger feminists would be to brace yourself for the incoming dehumanization adulthood has in store. Growing into an adult woman is just being turned into a factory for a mans baby collection, a factory he gets the credit with operating.

[whatbigotspost]

On being real mean and then less mean

Long post incoming........I've been chipping away at writing this for like a month now and (unlike my usual self) I've stalled out a few times unsure of what all I want to say. But I think I've got it squared up the way I would like to. Unfortunately, I need a long context laying preamble. Sorry this will feel like an online recipe experience 😅

As the 5 of you who usually read my blocks of text will know well, I grew up in a very toxic, abusive, high-control environment. If you wanted to intentionally produce kids who would have anxiety, shame, self-loathing, aggression, be overly-competitive, angry, and equipped with little-to-no social skills, you should be parented like I was. In my nuclear family, we couldn't have had worse life lessons or role modeling when it comes to building healthy relationships, strong friendships, and harmonious existence with others. Violence was often normalized. Manipulation was encouraged. Specific conditions and rules were put on receiving love and/or affection. We weren't seen as independent humans who had their own lives and thoughts and ambitions--we were seen as extensions of my father, brought into the world to be his unquestioning cheerleaders and adoring team, to do our best to become his clones, to live out his unrealized dreams, and to combat his grievances w/ the world.

In short, it sucked.

Above all, I was taught in a very deep and real way to hate myself, not that this was explicitly acknowledged mind you, but it was the implication of everything. This self loathing was an extension of my father's own insecurities and full inability to grow the fuck up and build a life for himself that was emotionally mature, resilience, and self-caring. This mentality, if truly internalized, creates ugliness from the inside that radiates outward. I can see that so clearly now, but back then, I didn't understand it at all.

I was implicitly taught a thought process like, "the best way to 'own' someone is to shit talk them into crying" or "you can make yourself look stronger and distract from your own shortcomings by staying 1 step ahead of everyone through making THEM feel like shit about their shortcomings."

But you weren't just mean to someone to stay ahead of them, you were also mean as a way to ingratiate others to you. "Telling it like it is" even if what you said was unnecessarily cruel, was a virtue. Like, "what? I'm just saying what we're all thinking!" kind of stuff. I was taught that "teasing" is a way you show someone you love them, where "teasing" means saying all kinds of awful things that are quite hurtful. I was taught that being funny was one of the most important qualities and it didn't matter if those laughs came at the expense of others' feelings and if, over time, your comments began to destroy those around you.

It's "just teasing." It's "just joking." It was a lot of "oh come, on grow a thicker skin" over "maybe saying cruel shit for fun is bad?" It was "God, I can dish it and I can take it, why can't you?" over "maybe I want friends who support one another instead of digging at our insecurities."

Some recent nostalgia I've been wallowing in this summer reminded me of my grossest self who lived by these rules.

Those worst moments, where I was a bully and an asshole, all occurred for me at school, when I was probably around 11/12 and older. School was a very interesting place for me. When I try to paint an efficient picture of what my childhood home was like for others, I often say, my family existed in a weird liminal someplace between mainstream, mid western white suburban society and a survivalist/separatist/cult/fringe culture (like Tara Westover describes in Educated or as seen in Captain Fantastic if you're familiar w/ either of those.) We were a cult of 4 and there were many things We Did Not Do, all my dad's rules. (My grandparent's house was a safe harbor unlike my home, but that's a tangent for another time.) That said, accessing education was something my father DID trust the local government to do (as long as he could emphasize over and over how we can't trust everything they say, we could trust their lessons of math, music, English, etc.) He strategically chose a place to live where I could get the best "free" education possible in Central Indiana. My social life existed fully in a traditional school setting, where it took me all of 2 seconds to clock that other kids' lives weren't like mine, and that was compelling to me. I became a lifelong student of interpersonal relationship dynamics far before I realized I had become a lifelong student of relationships. I remember when I was in elementary school journaling about and thinking about and talking about all the friend groups and dynamics, etc. Writing stories about friend groups. Creating Barbie universes and dramas with 2 neighborhood friends. Trying to spend more and more time w/ peers instead of family.

Beyond that, I loved school because I would receive praise and love at home for A's and praise and love from my teachers for being "so good" (aka offering 100% deference to adult authority as I been told to do, even if I could question them inside.) This all means when I was very young, I did SO WELL at figuring out school...how to make friends...how to get an A+...how to get teachers to love me...how to be The Good Kid...how to reduce my value to my grades and what I produced, which is a mentality I've still only begun to unweave from within me, some 30 years later.

Anyway, point is, despite the hand I was dealt, I somehow never had trouble making friends and with a lot of my closest friends, I wasn't all that mean to in the way I describe above, at least initially. But when I did apply that behavior, god damn was it ugly. I get that now, but back then, I felt cool as fuck.

The more it (temporarily worked for me) the more I used meanness. By the time I was like 17, I literally was known as mean and wore it as a badge of honor. Lacking emotional intelligence and an overtly loving home environment, I thought it was normal? cool? idk...to "not be able to handle mushy emotional stuff." I would (LITERALLY) run if friends were telling me they loved me. It became more and more common for me to apply, "witty mean girl" quips to even my closest friends. Stuff was said about me like, "oh, if she makes fun of you, it means she really loves you." I was always saying shit to gain laughs from others that really hurt some people and I would act like that was a THEM thing like "god, they're so sensitive, poor widdle baby."

NOT GOOD. Nothing to be proud of. Signs of someone who deep down hates themselves and hopes you don't notice because of a big, bad exterior. In this era, I was someone who attracted and accepted other toxic people and was abusive toward and accepted abuse from friends who had these same issues. How I met and fell in love w/ my partner who is not at all like this during that period of time back when sometimes confounds me. His boundaries and feelings are why I started really looking inward. His patience and willingness to understand what was going on for me was immense (as I was similarly patient for things related to his baggage.) FOR YEARS we had a dynamic where I'd "make fun of" "tease" "just joke" about him too harshly in front of others and he would ask me over and over to stop. I'd get better for a while, then I'd backslide and make him feel like shit in a group setting again--but hey! everyone laughed at my ~*~*just oh so hilarious comment*~*~ and so that makes it fine right?? Obviously, not, and the older I got the more I started to FINALLY see "mean" as mean and not "telling it like it is" or being a core part of my humor.

How I REALLY know that this toxic coping mechanism I used to my benefit was a thinly veiled defense mechanism style behavior to cloud my deep deep deep self loathing is because when I'd be talking w/ my partner about his very reasonable and normal request that I not say unnecessarily cruel things about him for fun in front of others, I would be afraid of things like, "But that's part of who I am? It's my humor."

I really thought so lowly of myself that I believed that if I wasn't witty-mean, people wouldn't love me. That I wouldn't still be funny. That I wouldn't be ME unless I was being MEAN. It was so backwards and upside down because my meanness did make me harder to be around, and people were right there loving me anyway, not because of it, but despite it.

It's so sad to realize this! Looking back and describing this girl now feels in both parts foreign to me and also like looking in a mirror. I've been in 20 years of some form or another of "recovery" from this kind of childhood now, and I'm about 15 years into true healing and re-parenting myself. Almost 14 years ago, I made the biggest shift toward killing this old mentality...I moved away from my home town and the people I spent my days around to that point. I had an opportunity for a hard reset in my social life and behaviors, leaving behind old reputations that didn't serve me. And I’m still me. I’m spicy and I’m real and I’m blunt and I’m funny but I’m not cruel or mean anymore. The old me sometimes still rears her ugly head, especially when I'm tired, stress, or dysregulated. But it's less "how I am" now than ever in my life.

As I've been thinking about this whole topic for quite a few weeks now, and I tried to articulate what I did that really changed me and allowed me to shed that mean girl shell of armor I was wearing that I had so thoroughly needed to outgrow. If these things resonate with you, I do have some pieces of advice.

Speak from your personal values 100% of the time. That means defining your personal values first, not just accepting what you think is valuable you've been told by others. Once I grew the maturity to understand I needed my own life values, it was very simple to grasp that I was not in line with them. My top 5 personal life values are: love, equity, humor, loyalty, and open communication. Mean jokes don't check many of those boxes.

Become your own best friend first. My behaviors were driven by self-hatred I did not choose. When I choose how I want to feel about myself, I choose self-compassion, and I actively cultivate this mentality and practice all. the. time so that I don't backslide.

Stop "telling it like it is." This is not helpful. No one needs something obvious and cruel pointed out. This is basic "THINK" acronym stuff. It's a classic because it works. Is what you're about to say.... "true, helpful, inspiring, necessary, kind." Telling it like it is is only TRUE, it's rarely -HINK.

Never "just joke" about something someone could possibly be vulnerable about. If someone has a physical wound, you don't jab your finger into it for fun. When someone has an emotional tenderness, you similarly don't jab a mean comment into it. When in doubt, just don't joke about it.

Have actual hard conversations and "call outs" in the right times/spaces. Sometimes behavior that one friend may call "mean" is actually a very necessary hard conversation to the other person. So it's helpful to just remember that those kind of real-deal communications are rarely done effectively or productively with an audience or by using humor. Real shit deserves a real shit tone.

Push yourself to say the nicest stuff and just be fucking sincere and genuine. Tell your friends you love them. Tell your friends when you are obsessed with what they are achieving/doing/saying. Tell your friends WHAT you love about them. Make an effort for your most important relationships to have far, far more "positive bids" than negative.

Use "teasing" or "self deprecating" humor selectively and strategically. Sometimes, my partner and I DO tease each other by having open communication and actually knowing one another's boundaries, I now understand what's fine and what's not. So I can proceed w/o hurting him. But I don't know most people to that level, so I'm not going to try to tease someone else in front of others w/o that knowledge anymore. Self deprecating humor has also been a go-to for me in the past and one of the people I could be meanest to was myself. I realized I should use it sparingly with people who I don't know well, too, because I don't necessarily need to give them a cheat sheet to what my baggage is. And lastly, in general, I think that we should ALL be very very careful to spare strangers our sarcasm, deadpan comments, or whatever. Many folks are neurodiverse or otherwise don't get your sarcasm and your implications can be lost in translation. You never know what topics, with strangers, might be a hornet's nest you stumble into.

PFEW! Ok, I think that's plenty for now! If you've got similar tips or thoughts, LMK! Of course, I still fuck up my practice of not being mean all the time, but the best thing about having done this work and shared it with those around me is that my friends are much more like to say something like, "OW! Was that your dad talking for a sec?" and help me than to just go on assuming I'm an asshole. 😆

[tenebrius-excellium]

Guys so I visited a medieval smithy the other day (ca. 1300s) and it reminded me a lot of Gobber's workshop... it was easy to imagine that I had just literally stepped into Berk's smithy with my own two feet... and to be honest, seeing this stuff in real life made the whole deal of Hiccup apprenticing in one of these infinitely funnier and Stoick's decision to put him there weirdly...understandable???

Let me elaborate: So you're in approx. 900 AD, you live on a tiny island under rough conditions, EVERYONE, and I mean EVERYONE WITHOUT A SINGLE EXCEPTION is a craftsman of some kind who has to work manually, and you've got a noodle of a son.

Also you're the Chief, no less than that. Let me tell you that this makes the whole thing just so much worse.

Looking at all those solid iron tools - mighty bellows operated by a beam larger than me, forging tongs that would have been half of Hiccup's size and exactly as heavy as this shot implies,

...swords with hilts longer than a cucumber and crude, brutal design, plus all the firewood that constantly needed to be chopped and carried around... even if Hiccup had turned out to be completely untalented at smithwork, that would have built him some muscles.

You don't understand. Hiccup having no muscles was a death sentence. The environment that he was surrounded by, which I was reminded of in that irl smithy, could - at that time! - only be overcome by hard manual labor, aided by the most basic mechanics. Even if he had become a breadmaker, that still would've built him some muscles. All the kneading, the weightlifting of flour and wood and water, the carrying, would have done the same job. Forget Snotlout bragging about working out in his parents' basement. EVERYONE on Berk was burly not because 'they were vikings' training for war or whatever for funsies every day, but because it literally was a requirement of everyday life to be able to carry something heavy from A to B, and be it only a single sack of grain.

So it's really funny to me how Stoick intentionally put this skinny rat of a son of his into the most merciless and dangerous job that probably existed on the island, just to put him to some use. Poor Hiccup. He's like a wet kitten under the command of a bloodhound. But at the same time, it makes so much sense?? Stoick didn't just put him into a job to gain some weight, he put him into a job that would teach him all about tools and weapons, how to defend himself and about the irreversible price of violence. I imagine a blacksmith would have to know how to use a sword to know what makes a good one, so Hiccup would've naturally learned swordfighting on the side. It was an important skill not just against dragons. We see the gang fight all kinds of human enemies in later years as well.

So what Stoick was basically doing was to prepare him for life. The need for abs back then is comparable to today's education about taxes and insurances. Hiccup needed some brawns to survive Berkian conditions, and not just for fighting dragons. Even though Hiccup had the brilliance to invent mechanical devices that could make life on the island easier, he didn't have electricity and he couldn't just press a button anytime he wanted the laundry done or needed some newly tanned leather. He had to work with his own two hands anyway. No dragon, once tamed, could assist the villagers in ways that an ox or buffalo hadn't done before. Despite his marvelous innovations, there's no changing that Hiccup would remain a craftsman and a warrior throughout his life.

So now there's the fact that Hiccup was a noodle. Having established that with Berk's living conditions in mind, you would basically have to avoid working any daily task ON PURPOSE to NOT develop muscles from early childhood, there are exactly two interpretations as to how Hiccup remained this scrawny for so long: a) he was disabled in some way that prevented him from doing chores, or b) he was spoiled and lazy beyond common sense.

Stoick spoiling someone is unthinkable, and Hiccup doesn't appear disabled. He could be struggling with anything from a muscle-degenerative disease to a fast metabolism to mental issues. But it's not implied in the movies. So how did Hiccup avoid manual labor And what kind of message did that send to the rest of the villagers???

Look, if they thought that he was lazy, or perhaps not quite right in the head, they were probably absolutely right. It would have been maniacal for the Chief to spoil his son to the point where he couldn't fend for himself and expected Berk to serve him and supply him with food. Stoick wanted his son to be Chief, so he would have to school him in some trade that enabled him for economics and warfare. As neither was the case though, it didn't put Stoick in a great light to have a son as Hiccup. How could this have happened - a noodle on Berk? It would have made both father and son the laughingstock.

The only reason that I can think of is neglect. Stoick may have been so grief-stricken about Valka's death that he went easy on Hiccup for a while, and then, when he got possessed by running dragon nest campaigns, he may have simply forgotten that he still had a child at home. And then, once Hiccup became old enough to get into trouble, Stoick may have remembered him because he got complaints from his villagers, and so he hurriedly stuck him with Gobber. Lol.

So that's how a skinny noodle rat with no survival skills whatsoever ended up in the weapon forge of Berk. Gobber has a point being sarcastic about it: "Oh, perfect. And while I'm busy, Hiccup can cover the stall. Molten steel, razor-sharp blades, lots of time to himself - what could possibly go wrong?"

And wrong it goes. I love it. WHAT WERE THEY EXPECTING?? XD

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Gale Reviews: ML Season 5 episode 23 Revolution

Spoilers below

-Chloe being puppet as the new dictator of Paris. Outlawing super heroes and monarch. So cringe

-ladybug and chat noir debating on what to do but think since Chloe isn’t akumatized they would look like villains if they did something. Ummm, she has a robot army and declared herself leader, I’m pretty sure you got a free pass to beat her ass

-Pffff! They are trusting adults. Yeah, cause THAT always worked for you guys.

-of course that Racist cop is fine with Chloe being in charge!

-meanwhile Plagg talking sense to Adrien

-he was going to tell her, but in her defense this stupid ass situation is kind of important

-It���s really sad that the reaction to Chloe being a dictator is really not surprising. I could go in depth but if I think about our current society I will just get annoyed.

-Chloe at least tried to have monarch arrested… before then immediately listening to him and getting powers BUT pretending she didn’t have an akuma.

-A political puppet that’s a hypocrite. What a twist. (Said no one)

-Queen mayor, at least Chloé gets some sort of outfit change.

-So the Resistance is doing a protest. How French. I hope they involve a guillotine.

-… if this were anymore on the nose it would be a face hugger.

-I will give Astruc one thing, he nailed what a typical politician is like. Corrupt, arrogant, being told what to say and do, and lies all the time. I could go on but I hate politics.

-chloé and evolution, and Chloe being the only one in class yet NOT paying attention. That’s actually kind of funny. Like why even go?

-How did they get a Statue like that built in such a short time?

-did Chloe just Legislate love?

-and she just arrested Marinette’s parents and captured her.

-Adrien still can’t communicate with Marinette cause of the situation.

-Adrien found out what Chloe did and is PISSED!

-Chloé knows about London.

-At least Adrien didn’t cave. But now he’s captured.

-Sure is Big brother up in this bitch.

-Plagg being like (want me to take a crack at the screens) Plagg is best boy

-looking at it, the jail/detention isn’t that hard to escape.

-wait did chat noir use cataclysm 2 times already? Well we can assume he detransformed and retransformed.

- Chloe yelling about threats to democracy, yet never knowing what the word meant.

-Ladybug and chat noir step in to tell her. Perfect.

-invincible prisons, oh damn.

-Gabriel and Tomoe out here waiting for the detransformation and taking back control.

-welp, I guess this makes Queen mayor the most effective akuma. She captured them both and now they will detransform. Unless someone shows up? Maybe Su han will finally be useful. I’m kidding. My bet is they get a power up

-ladybug coming in clutch with hero speeches

-Did he just say super underpants?!

-They just willed their transformation back! So I guess they are all grown up now?

-Monarch is shocked by the power of plot convinience.

-chat noir didn’t need to do that, he just wanted to show off and I don’t blame him.

-Was ladybug going to give Chloe a charm? I don’t think she wants one.

-And the mayor steps in to finally ground her.

-Lila took the robots.

-so the kids encourage Ms. Bustier to run

-Chloe is being taken by her mother to have her education Re-evaluated. And now Chloe is going to expose what she knows to Marinette as one last act of spite. Though for a brief moment we saw her pause on Sabrina, perhaps contemplating something. But for what reason, we may never know.

-meanwhile, Adrien is being forced to leave now by his father. He can’t say no because Amok.

-Nathalie is there, Nathalie do something!

-no Nathalie Kick Gabriel’s ass! Don’t just stand by!

-wait so Chloe never called her. Adrien got to tell her. Well at least that.

-Break my heart why don’t ya.

-they sold enough Alliance? Oh dear that can’t be good.

-G being a real G and letting Adrien go.

-FINALLY! A canon Adrinette kiss. Too bad it’s absolutely tragic

-G no! You have to seperate them now.

-Ah there goes my heart.

-Oh bonus scene.

-Marinette telling Chloe to F*** off was great.

-Lila or whoever she is has that suitcase and is likely going to mess with the plan Tomoe and Gabriel have

___________________________________________

Honestly this episode was cringe for most of it.

Chloé being dictator was jumping the shark, ladybug and chat noir can use their powers multiple times now which is about time but probably not useful now.

Lila has the pieces she needs and finally

ADRINETTE KISS!

That last part alone keeping this episode from being the worst of season 5

I give it a 6.5 out of 10

The 6.0 being awarded cause of the Adrien kiss

The additional .5 being Adrien and Marinette standing up to Chloe.

Though Andre got off easy

[eofoc]

day 6: past

AHHH we got to my favorite part - backstories!!

i wish i could write about all of my 6 ocs, but i dont think uni will let me lol so i decided to spin a wheel for each of the days!!!!

...and then funnily enough it landed on Yuze who has the most developed backstory

(rambling about his past under the cut)

i dont want to get too much into the worldbuilding here... his parents were vampires and immigrants who got a job as tailors in the Lazarus estate (home to two young nobles, Juliet and Ange, around Yuze's age)

hes always had a pretty good relationship with his parents! i think funnily enough he was a bit spoiled by them, especially his mom, who he always clung to and admired. he has also always respected his parents greatly :'] esp. his father, sometimes even a bit too much (was often scared to approach him)

yea and then they were executed for treason when he was like 9 years old

um before that happened he also became friends with Ange. but that was like. almost entirely inconsequential to him UNTIL he convinced himself that Ange was responsible for his parents death (as people do) which is really funny to me because Ange wasnt very important to him UNTIL he started to center his life around getting his revenge lmao

well. he entered his parentless era and was sent to an orphanage. he met an older girl there who kind of took care of him and guided him :) her name was Csilla (he called her Lila) and well. she also died due to the negligence of the poorly funded orphanage. for years he thought she ran away without him Btw

then he entered his epic dissociation era where he was in.. like.. how do you even call it... this old dude (named Damien Eligioto) whos a retired vampire assistant of the late emperor "takes care" of young vampires who are poor / have no parents / etc. they get uniforms and rooms to sleep in and even education. but its not very fun its lowkey child labor factory and fulfilling his power fantasy most of the time.

yea anyways this Might be the most traumatic period for Yuze. he doesnt remember almost anything from that time. he only remembers learning thar Lila died and the day when Eligioto took interest in him (mostly the fact that he didnt talk to anyone and always did everything without a word) and offered him a way to make some extra money by killing / injuring people he didnt like. giving this job to a 16 year old is very stupid however it makes sense since he saw those teenagers as disposable pawns that u could make the fault fall on if they got caught

oh and the physical abuse also Yeah (the scars on his body Yeah

and so Yuze entered his very very brief era of being a teenage fuckigb assasin before he was like "wait... if i can do this to others then i can also do that to that guy i hate" and he straight up killed Eligioto and ran lol

and then he lived a few years in a little tiny village doing nothing <3 letting the mental illness consume him. until there came a proposition to work at the Lazarus estate... the dreams of revenge awaken again... and this is basically where the plot of the whole thing starts

Waow! He shouldve been at the fucking club

[inside-black-moon]

Today is a special day for me.  Before this, I had never “celebrated,” so to speak, this day.

So, if anyone doesn’t know, today is World Autism Day and its main goal is to educate the public.

Speaking specifically about me, I received my official diagnosis last year.  To be honest, this allowed me to breathe a sigh of relief.  My difference from neurotypical people was finally scientifically explained and it helped me accept myself.

Do you know what my life was like?  It was like I was a duck in a pack of wolves.  I sincerely believed that I was also a wolf and refused to face the truth.  But other wolves, for the most part, convinced me that I was a wolf, without focusing on the fact that I had no fangs or fur.  And ducks don’t know how to howl like a wolf.  What was most difficult about this was that the wolves expected and demanded from the duck the behavior and lifestyle of a wolf.  A duck cannot hunt deer, a duck cannot run as fast as a wolf.  And instead of howling at the moon, I'd rather sleep, I swear.

I tried in vain for many years to be like everyone else.  But my body and psyche began to fail.  The critical point was just that year, a few days before visiting the psychiatrist.  And from that moment I had to start rebuilding my whole life.

The first thing I needed to do was accept the fact that I would never become a wolf.  Yes, I can coexist with people in society, but not in the same way as most people.  There will always be some invisible barrier due to the purely biological aspects of the brain.

Despite this barrier, I had very long-term close friendships with people - with one friend we were friends for 12 years, with another - 4. It was like a discussion club, an eternal search for something new, studying, self-education and mutual support in this.

The second important aspect for me was to explain to people close to me that I, in principle, am not able to do certain things due to the way my brain works.  For example, most autistics have very poor vestibular function (this also manifests itself in clumsiness) and in my case I am very unfriendly with stairs and transport.  But nevertheless, throughout my childhood I was forcibly forced to travel in public transport.  What’s funny is that I lost consciousness, I felt sick, I fell, but my parents and I went to the doctors to find out what was wrong with me.  And for many years of such trips, not a single doctor could diagnose me.  Now only 1 person understands me and is tolerant of my characteristics.  I didn’t announce the diagnosis to my relatives because I know them and I know their reaction.  This will again be a situation where the wolves will force the duck to hunt the deer.

Fact - culture, level of awareness and tolerance greatly influence the acceptance or non-acceptance of autism by others.  Sometimes it really makes sense not to tell some people about it because you might get rejected.

In my homeland there are big problems with this - culture and ignorance destroy even the hope that a person with autism can be part of society.  The culture of “disdain for those who are different” and autistic people are equated with the disabled, the lower class, the scum, the biological trash.

They bully us, humiliate us, avoid us, wave their hand - “he/she is sick”, some believe that it is contagious, some believe that autistic people are doomed to live a short life, the majority are convinced that people with autism should (!) be permanently in psychiatric hospitals  basis away from normal people.

This whole outcast attitude is depressing.  Yes, there is a certain percentage of autistic people who cannot withstand such pressure and die - either on their own or due to diseases caused by overload of the nervous system.  But there are also those who find the strength to swim against the tide and become outstanding people - media, famous, geniuses in their field.

Third - acceptance and study of yourself.  At some point you come to the realization that you are not like everyone else, you do not fit into the general picture of society, the world, the universe.  It’s as if you live on planet Earth, but at the same time you feel like you live on some other planet.  Even the atmosphere is different, even the laws of physics.  Everything is different, everything is not the same.  Understanding this in time, before you run out of strength in stupid attempts to be like everyone else, is a great success.  Time is our main enemy.  I really spent most of my life living incorrectly; doctors of different specialties and ranks were looking for the reason for my “difference”.  But all this was to no avail, because they were looking for the wrong thing.  For most of my life I tried to play by rules that I didn’t understand and tried to somehow rationally explain to myself.  How to be friends, how to communicate, how to live.  But one fine day I heard a very good phrase - you think rationally, and they think emotionally.  At that moment I was in a stupor - how is this “emotionally”?

This is one of the main and very controversial problems for autistic people - emotions.  I think many people imagine a stereotypical autistic person who does not speak, sways from side to side and looks at one point.  Yes, the spectrum of autism is very wide and such people also exist (more on this later), but believe me, even such autistic people have emotions, feelings and are even capable of love.  But not like neurotypical people.

And now I will tell you about the magic of autistic emotions.  Ooh, guys, believe me, you won’t find this in books about autism.

It’s as if our nervous system is not under the skin, but on the skin.  We love not with our hearts, but with our minds.  We love not through emotions, but through awareness.  The best gift for an autistic person is something that will give him a pleasant tactile or visual sensation.  Way back when I was in school, when I had a scientifically minded friend, we discussed the theory of the development of the mind.  At that time, I was a volunteer and was developing the first “scripts” for the AI, according to which it would further train itself.  My friend was working in parallel on another project, at a higher stage - he created learning algorithms for AI.

And we had an argument.  My theory was about associative thinking.  For example, if as a child you liked yellow color and free-flowing consistency, then there is a high probability that as you grow older you will like yellow rice, sand, and yellow beads.  And this affects your overall lifestyle, hobbies and even food preferences.  And the greater the variability of “favorite things,” the greater the variability of the “end point.”  Following this concept, I trained AI.

Now I can say with more confidence that this theory fits perfectly into the mind of an autistic person.  Many parents of autistic children complain of an unpredictable reaction to something - it seems like an ordinary sunny day, but the child screams endlessly and cannot explain what is wrong.  And it turns out that a certain brightness of light irritates him.  Therefore, this child does not need to be taken to the cinema, where there will be the same bright light.  Often, even speaking autistic people cannot understand what causes sensory overload just because the world moves at a breakneck pace.  We just don’t have time to understand what suddenly unsettled us.

I don't like bright light, by the way.  And that’s why I became a big fan of various lamps, garlands, and fixtures.

The system of associative thinking is precisely the key to the emotions of an autistic person.  For example, if your gift fits into the associative system of pleasant things for an autistic person, then it will be the best gift in his life.  In turn, don’t be surprised at how accurately he gets the gift for you right.  He will not only guess what exactly you want, but will also know what color and texture are ideal for your preferences.  Because an autistic person cannot do otherwise - he does not know how to do otherwise.

Also in love relationships, family relationships.  Any.  If an autistic person finds common ground with someone, if that person intersects with this internal network of “nice things,” then these will be the most sincere, open, honest and considerate partners.  Autistic people are not capable of behind-the-scenes games and intrigues - this is too difficult for an already overloaded brain.  We see no point in lying, deceiving, saying one thing and doing another.  But we expect the same attitude in return.  And we are sincerely perplexed that it could be otherwise - that a partner or friend could lie (why?), be a hypocrite (why?), use it for selfish purposes (why?).  And this greatly affects our psyche.  We are naive and gullible.  We are open and absolutely do not understand hints/sarcasm/innuendos/intrigues/conspiracies.

In a work group, autistic people work the most - they don’t waste time on intrigue, talking about the weather or the past weekend.  But at the same time, they may be considered outcasts (because they avoid general conversations) or upstarts (you work harder than everyone else = please your bosses = you put yourself above everyone else = an arrogant egoist).  Therefore, the ideal job for an autistic person is not in a large team, or completely without contact with people.

But unfortunately, the autism spectrum can be quite...severe, let's put it that way.  I'm talking about those boys and girls who don't even live to be 20 years old.  I'm talking about those young people who barely made it to 30 and, due to the lack of a guardian, ended up in psychiatric hospitals and their lives were reduced to 4 walls, belts on their arms and legs, and tranquilizers.  And I'm talking about those who have lived to an old age, are left alone and create very serious and dangerous problems for those around them.

But society in my homeland equates all autists with one red line - these are sick people, these are dangerous people.  Moreover, due to a backward healthcare system, autism diagnosed at an early age is reclassified as schizophrenia upon reaching adulthood.  And autism is being treated as schizophrenia.  This is a terrible mistake.

Throughout my life I have met several autistic people of varying degrees:

- One guy, he studied with me in the same class at school.  We all thought he was normal, but also a little strange.  He spoke exclusively in lines from his favorite films and at the same time perfectly imitated the voices of the actors who spoke these phrases in the original.  This is how he communicated with other guys.  Teachers rarely bothered him.  What’s interesting is that he voluntarily chose a literature exam (one of the most difficult) as his last exam at school.  He was the only one from the entire school who chose literature.  He really had some crazy talent for writing and analyzing literature, even though he literally never spoke his thoughts in his own voice.  On paper, everything was completely different.

- Another guy who went to school, but was separated from all classes.  Sometimes our class crossed paths with him in the same office.  He always sat somewhere in the back and everyone tried not to be distracted by him.  But it was difficult - he could laugh, shout numbers, throw things.  God bless the teachers who tried to teach him at least some minimal knowledge.  He was over 20 years old at that time.  After school his mother always picked him up and they walked leisurely around the city.  I often met them together.

- The worst case... I confess - despite the fact that for personal reasons I have not communicated with this person for more than a year, I still worry about the life of his child with the most severe form of autism.  I understand that this is not my child, not my responsibility, but... it’s difficult to explain.

There is a type of autism in which the instinct of self-preservation is completely absent and there is no speech.  There are very few such children all over the world.  They are unable to take care of themselves, they are hyperactive.  They may not sleep for several days.  But at the same time, parents/guardians should not sleep either, because such children require constant supervision due to the high risk to the child’s health.  These children are monstrously strong physically.  They can literally start beating themselves until they bleed and suffer a concussion due to sensory overload or any other discomfort.  This could be anything - from a chafing tag on the inside of clothing to a vase standing “wrong” in the hallway.  But they cannot say this because they are not able to speak.  They see hallucinations, which can also frighten them.  In some cases, with age (puberty), they develop epilepsy and most often this is the reason for the end of their lives.  My mother talked about a similar family, where there was only a mother and daughter.  Daughter with this form of autism.  And the mother looks like a zombie - after all, she needs to somehow support her family and look after her daughter.  It's terribly difficult.  I've read stories of similar families.  Most often, parents are afraid to inform others about this situation.  This is both shame and fear... fear that people will turn away, that there will be very tactless questions and unsolicited advice.  Believe me, in such a situation, to receive advice “can you get rid of this child?”  It just blows your mind.  Parents of such autistic people are in unbearable and hopeless conditions.  The only thing that can save is outside help.  Even a simple trip to the store to buy food for such a family a few days in advance will save them and make their life much easier.

But I really ask, if you know or suspect that there is a similar family in your environment - do not give advice, tactless questions, do not say “can I help with anything?”, but say “I can help. I can buy you food,  fix something, do something, call and arrange for repairs, pay for something."  This way you can save someone's family.

In conclusion, I would like to say that despite the diagnosis and the accompanying unusual features, all this did not prevent me from building a career, starting a family and communicating with people.  Even write a book on learning to draw and an autobiographical novel hidden in a futuristic thriller-melodrama.  All this did not prevent me from achieving certain heights in various types of activities - from drawing and journalism to photography and modding.  This will sound strange, but I can enthusiastically work in the 010 editor (which I learned to use on my own) and with no less enthusiasm search for quartz stones on the beach to replenish my collection.

Warframe became a home environment for my high-functioning autism from the first minutes of the game. The alternation of completely different types of activities in the game helps to organize the endless stream of thoughts in my head, and team play allows me to be part of society and feel the absence of an invisible barrier between me and neurotypical people. This is a place where they won’t say “go away, you’re ruining everything” or “you’re not like everyone else, that means you’re worse.” My gift for incredibly fast reaction and analysis of the current situation allows me to be both in the support team and as an attacker. This is the type of player who saves everyone, including all companions, while killing a crowd of enemies and asks with burning enthusiasm - one more round? Yes? Yes? Yes?

Autism is a huge iceberg, which is 80% hidden underwater from the eyes of others.  And if you have a bathyscaphe “desire for knowledge,” then a completely new world may open up before you.

I'm Irene Wolf, thank you for your attention.

[mitsuki91]

any more thoughts on clem + julius? obssessed with them

So... The first thing is that Clemmie is so worried because of the scales and she doesn't live a good pregnancy because she keep thinking "what if I am sick somehow and my baby is sick because of me? What if the snake accident will harm my baby? It would be my fault" even if everyone around her reassure her (but of course they are worried too). So Julius Rose is born and he is the most healty baby and Clemmie cries so hard because she was so worried sick... Anyway they tested him for everything and Julius Rose is in fact the healties baby ever, to the point that Sejanus always joke that the snakes give him 100% immunity to diseases. He is rarely sick and that's help because Clemmie is an apprehensive mother (both for her worries that never leave her and both for the fact he is her miracle baby). Luckly for her she has far more children then one so she has no time to be so mama-bear with him (and also the others helps her and she trust them so she is not so paranoid). She reaches an equilibrium when one day the first two twins are taking scales from her and they went to Julius Rose and give him a big shiny scale saying "here you are, have the prettiest scale because mama Clemmie loves you the most" (they are not bitter, in their cat world they only say out loud what they think it's true) and so Clemmie cries and tell them that she loves everyone the same. Later Sejanus and Lucius explain to the children an age appropriate version of "The doctor said mama Clemmie that she could never have children and also she was worried about the scales so that's why she looks at the prince so close" (but as I said, the twins were not bothered). Anyway after that Clemmie will be more fair to all her children.

Julius Rose grows up to be the perfect spoiled child. He doesn't not feel entitled to anything (this is the difference from Thalia Opal) but he admires Thalia Opal so much because of her natural charme and so he is always close to her and benefict from her power just by being her best friend. They figure out pretty fast they are half sibiling by Sejanus but since no one talk about this and they don't mind (because they all are a big family wtym blood ties are important?) they simply carry on to be bestie.

When they are teens some paparazzi start to "invest" in their relationship and gossip about a possible love story between them. It's nuts of course, they manage somehow to took a confused photo of them but they were doing nothing wrong of course, they simply were close/hugging... But chaos exploded in the Snow-Baird-Plinth-Dovecote home. Their parents sat them down and admit that Sejanus is both their dad (Sejanus is mortified) so please don't do something stupid? Since you are actually related? Please?! They assure their parents that there is nothing between them and everything is well, but also Thalia Opal force Julius Rose to "mess with the paparazzi" so more scandalous photos are taken and she laughs about her funny jokes that only them can understand (also at that point the adults knows her enough to know she is the one who lead this and she only has fun in her twisted way, so they all go "whatever").

Julius Rose is actually a calm boy, educated, happy and with a great intelligence, and Thalia Opal is the one who make him out of his shell and "force" him to make some pranks etc etc, and with her "princess superpower" they were never in trouble. So Julius Rose enjoy his life so much.

As far as his relationship with mama Clemmie he is fond of her and he is the one who makes her smile the most. He knows how much he is precious to her so is a bit of a mama-boy and tries everytime to please her and make her proud. Clemmie loves his son so much and secretly is glad that Thalia Opal makes him live and doesn't let him to be a shy boy to rot in his room alone (as he could be).

I hope you love this headcanons! Also I talked even about the princess Thalia Opal, I hope you don't mind 😂 but they are so close it's impossible not to mention her.

[hrodvitnon]

Dual dialogue challenge, 1/2. :)

Canon!Simmons meets Abraxas!Maia. (I'm curious to see how canon!Simmons reacts to meeting a Maia who isn't slavishly devoted to him and has much more agency of her own.)

Canon!Simmons: Ah, Maia! Come to see the progress on my pride and joy, have you?

Abraxas!Maia: You know, when a man describes something as his "pride and joy" one would think he's referring to his child.

Canon!Simmons: Oh, don't be so jealous, you're as dramatic as Serizawa. You have your uses, as does the mech! The mech simply has a purpose greater than any of us.

Abraxas!Maia: Right. The mech designed to kill Godzilla, the Nukasaurus Rex that saved the world multiple times. The mech that's hooked up to the skull of an alien destroyer of worlds, which came close to rendering us all extinct without Godzilla in the picture. I can't wait to see how this can possibly go wrong.

Canon!Simmons: My patience has its limits and you've hit them, young lady. I did not raise you to be an insubordinate contrarian!

Abraxas!Maia: *uproarious laughter*

Canon!Simmons: What--? Do you think I'm funny?!

Abraxas!Maia: You're fucking hilarious, old man! "I did not raise you" -- motherfucker, what you did was not "raising" me! You told me to be content with what I have because you could take it away if my chin so much as trembled! If I asked for the smallest little thing for my birthday you'd say "make valedictorian or I'm dropping you off on a random street corner to fend for yourself!"

Canon!Simmons: Your education -- which was the most expensive investment a parent can possibly make, might I add -- was vital to your role!

Abraxas!Maia, dripping with sarcasm: Yes, and I'm sure any child would be so grateful to have a full ride scholarships to the most prestigious universities on the planet dangled in front of them like a carrot on a string! I'm sure any child would be glad to have been dropped off in the middle of Bumfuck Detroit to learn the discipline that daddy's favorite school didn't hammer into my skull!

Canon!Simmons: YOU were the one pissing and moaning my ear off about "gap year" this and "sabbatical" that! Do you have any idea how many important meetings and calls I have to make in a single day?! I don't have time to listen to such bohemian pipe dreams!

[Canon!Simmons gets in close, grabs Maia's coat lapel. He looks like he might get physical.]

Canon!Simmons: You are a Simmons! You don't get to spend a year anywhere that will plant little hippy-dippy shit into your brain! You wanted a sabbatical so badly, I gave you one to teach you some common goddamn sense! No daughter of mine--

Abraxas!Maia: I'm not your daughter. I was never your daughter. I am nothing but a pet to you. And pets can run away.

Canon!Simmons, quietly: Excuse me?

Abraxas!Maia: You're excused.

[Canon!Simmons cracks his hand across her face.]

Canon!Simmons: GET OUT OF MY SIGHT! YOU ARE OFF THE PROJECT! USELESS BITCH!

Abraxas!Maia, walking out: Gladly. I'm gonna laugh my ass off if your oversized toy gets you killed! Also, you hit like a bitch.

[Abraxas!Maia leaves while Canon!Simmons screams his face blue. She meets up with Abraxas!Ren, who is rubbing split knuckles.]

Abraxas!Ren: Oh... are you okay? What happened?

Abraxas!Maia, exhales deeply: Trauma dumped. He got handsy.

Abraxas!Ren: Do you need me to do anything? I'm not afraid of beating up someone who hits his child.

Abraxas!Maia, smiling: That would be amazing, but probably not necessary. I've got something that'll hurt him even worse. *pulls out a flash drive*

Abraxas!Ren: Is that his personal files? How'd you get that?

Abraxas!Maia: Learned how to pickpocket during my sabbatical in Detroit. What do you say we go get a coffee and spill the old man's guts with this little thing?

Abraxas!Ren, grinning: It's a date.

[lythea-creation]

My Little Secret - Noaf x fem reader

summary: How long will (f/n) and Noaf manage to keep their relationship a secret? (This is an old Wattpad story)

warnings: none

word count: 1.286

Author's note: Feel free to check out my Masterlists and make requests. No reposting please! Reblogging, comments and requests are always appreciated <3 If you like the story/my writing, please don't be shy to say it via comments or asks! It takes you a few seconds and might make my day. It's the best appreciation you can show to a writer you like.

This Oneshot doesn't follow the main story.

---------------------------------

I had never been a fan of going to school. When all children had been excited about their very first day of school I had already dreaded it.

I had been a few steps ahead of them as most of them had just decided a few years later that school was not exactly a great place. Changing toys for work was not something to look forward to, right?

So that was my daily routine. Getting on the bus to drive to a school I despised.

A prestige all girls school who was famous for educating well, while I knew by now that everything was not about knowledge and hard work but power and connections. That was the world I lived in.

Being gay in an all girls school was not helping either. But at least nobody knew my secret.

My two best friends Mariam and Dina would have kinda been my light in the dark at this horrid place if it had not been for Layan and her friends who loved to pick on mine.

Usually they left me alone as they never got a great reaction from me. They had tried to make me upset before but apparently my careless attitude toward them had left them frustrated. So they had simply stopped.

The only time I interacted with them was when they overstepped a line when it came to my friends. But most of the time I stood back and let Mariam stand up for Dina and herself as she was perfectly capable of doing that on her own.

Long story short I would prefer not to get on the bus at all in the morning. But it was not up to me and knowledge was still important to me. So I pulled through.

Well … at least until Noaf transferred to our school, my class to be specific. The way she entered the classroom with her piercings and stunning black outfit caught my attention right away. She seemed to be so confident and laid-back that my indifferent behavior for most of my school life suddenly vanished.

I could not help myself but leave Mariam and Dina behind for a moment and approach Noaf in the first break.

“Your boots are amazing! And I love your piercings”, I heard myself talking before I actually realized what I was doing and the anxiety kicked in.

“You think so?”, she shot back with an apathetic expression.

I cocked an eyebrow at her. “Uh … obviously. Otherwise I wouldn't have said it.”

Suddenly a chuckle left her lips. “Calm down. I'm just kidding”, she enlightened me.

“That's not funny”, I claimed feeling my cheeks growing hot from embarrassment.

“If you could have seen yourself I'm sure you would change your mind”, she assumed with a grin. “Anyway. What's your name?”

“(f/n) (l/n). Totally forgot about this whole introducing myself first thing”, I admitted.

“I see why. It's really overrated”, she joked.

We kept on talking until the break was over.

Over the cause of the next weeks Noaf and I grew really close.

Noaf had joined my friend group soon after our first conversation and now we were always hanging out together as a group at school, sometimes even after school. But it did not stop at that.

Noaf and I were texting every day. Every few days we would also call each other to talk. We had even met without Mariam and Dina after school a couple of times, just as we were doing today.

Noaf and I had decided to cook together as my parents were eating dinner with some friends. Prepping everything was easily done, but the food needed to cook for a while. So we talked and listened to music for a while.

“(f/n), we forgot to stir the food”, Noaf suddenly noticed.

I jumped to my feet and quickly checked our meal which was rather black than colorful now.

“Dammit!”, I cursed.

Noaf and I had been so fixated on one another that we had completely forgotten to take care of the food.

I dumped everything into the trash can and took care of the pot.

“I think we have more ingredients. Can you check, please?” I requested and explained her where to look.

“Do you really think this will work out this time?”, Noaf questioned with a chuckle when she returned with the ingredients.

“Well. If you hadn't distracted me our food would be on our plates instead of the trash can now”, I shot back with a grin.

“Oh. So it's my fault?!”, she joked.

“Of course it is. How could I focus on anything else when you're around?”

Had I seriously just blurted that out? Why did this always have to happen around her? Where was my cool?

Noaf seemed to be taken off guard by my words as well.

After a while of silence she spoke up again: “Did you mean that?”

“Well … uh … yeah”, I admitted.

Suddenly Noaf's hand was cupping my cheek. “So you don't mind if I get closer, do you?”, she reassured.

To answer her question I closed the gap between us and kissed her. Honestly I was doubting this was not a dream for a moment. I had never expected Noaf to reciprocate my feelings.

When we parted again I dashed around all of a sudden.

“What's up?”, Noaf exclaimed worried.

I turned back around to her and relaxed. “I really just thought we had forgotten about the food again although we didn't even restart yet”, I proclaimed with a bashful chuckle.

Now Noaf burst out laughing. It was rare to hear her laughing like that. So I enjoyed every second of it.

“So if we could put my little moment of panic beside and return to where we were before that, please. How am I supposed to ever let you go home now?”, I half-joked.

Noaf chuckled. “Don't worry, babe. After all you're my girlfriend now. So you won't get rid of me that easily.”

She stayed true to her words. For the next three weeks Noaf and I met every day after school. Nobody knew about our relationship except our families as we had not wanted them to accidentally walk in on us making out and find out that way.

“My parents just bought a popcorn machine for me. Are you guys in for a movie night today?”, Dina invited us.

“Oh yeah! That sounds great!”, Mariam rejoiced.

“What do you think, babe? Did we have any special plans for today?”, Noaf asked me.

“Wait … babe? Are you guys dating?”, Dina exclaimed.

“Oh shit! I'm sorry”, Noaf apologized for telling our secret.

“It's fine. It was time to tell them anyway”, I assured her with a smile.

“So you guys ARE dating! Since when? Why didn't you tell us?”, Dina interrogated us.

“Woah, calm down”, Noaf replied with a chuckle.

“To answer your questions: three weeks and we didn't want to make a fuss about it. You know that it's not a great idea to draw any unwanted attention toward you when you're in a class with Layan and her friends”, I explained.

“Understandable”, Mariam agreed. “But you're in for hanging out with us without being all lovey-dovey all the time anyway, aren't you?”

“Oh yeah! I wanna see the romance in the movie, not on the couch next to me”, Dina chimed in.

Noaf and I looked at each other and started laughing.

“I think we can work that out”, I assured them.

---------------

Tag List: @sunwoniie

[froggy-1988]

Thing that made me want quit the internet and society on whole this week:

Stating that though one historian has labelled Queen Charlotte a black queen many historians disagree as her moor ancestors were like 14 generations previously - and being called racist - seriously -from pointing out one historians reading of evidence doesn't make it necessarily true.

I suggested that some children's education benefits from holidays (my family always took trips to historical places) and got a barrage of messages about how all parents do is leave their kids in creches, lay on beaches, and get drunk....

Watched a loads of people 'diagnose' five year old Prince Louise with ADHD because after sitting quietly through a two hour ceremony he fidgeted whilst posing for photos and waving to people.... Honestly, that's just being five and if he was neurodivergent so what, but no trained psychologist would make that call from a two minute video unless they were a total quack.

I trained as a historian- disagreeing with other historians is literally what we do, but the evidence on Queen Charlotte is sparse and though a handful of people at the time said she was unattractive like a mulatto - because hey they were racist - she was a woman in a great position of power so people were going to insult her looks and question her parentage as men are always going to try to bully and undermine women in power - in the era she lived a cheap way of doing that was to sneakily suggest she was the product of a black man, not a true princess but the daughter of an affair partner.

Was it possible she had African features due to her ancestors? Absolutely, sometimes features skip lots of generations, and paintings of her when she was quite young - well you can see that she has some features that are more African than Caucasian, painting of her in older age seem to lack these though and it can be very difficult to judge what a person looked like from a painting because they were not always true to life and often had some hidden political messages - if you look at official photos of royal families you'll see that many of them are sending strong messages - the people most important to the monarchy at the centre others on the outside is an easy example. King Charles photoed under a tree highlights his commitment to nature in a year where he invested heavily in green energy ect... In paintings at a time when a lot of people wouldn't get to actually see the King or Queen in person they had a lot more freedom to paint what they wanted rather than what was in front of them.

Was it possible she was the product of an affair and actually mixed race? I don't really know the circumstances around her birth but perhaps.

Are men always going to take down a woman in power - absolutely.

Do people often question the parentage of members of royal families to undermine them? Oh yes, Prince Harry is often said to be the product of an affair and some people suggest our late Queen Elizabeth was the product of a gay footman and a turkey baster.

What is my actual opinion: I think given that she was German, given she was a Princess, and given her line of ancestors- Queen Charlotte would have classed herself as Caucasian so I class her as Caucasian - I was always taught to use the words that people used to describe themselves as a sign of respect - I think she was probably pale skinned with some African features popping up either because somewhere along the line she had more moor blood than history records or because genes are funny things and sometimes pop up generations down the line. I think she faced bullying because she was a woman in power and there is some racism underlying that but a whole heap of sexism - whatever her heritage she was going to face people being horrid to her because she was a woman in power.

We can still celebrate Princesses we know we're black like Queen Victoria's adopted daughter -

Or Princess Angela of Lichtenstein:

Or not entirely royal but very high up in English Aristocracy Emma Thynn Marchioness of Bath.

[bouquetface]

Doing it again, as I’m not sure it has been sent 😬😅

Feedback

First of all thank you again for the time and energy you’ve put out for everybody 🤗😚; truly appreciate it.

Here’s my feedback or more, my annotations/ commentary as I don’t hold much knowledge on the matter😅.

For starters: not 🫵YOU hyping me upp!🤍🤍

“You are likely physically attractive.”

Definitely what I need to hear the most: still in the long journey of loving myself🫠 [is it the Virgo rising thing and also its aspect with Venus, isn’t it?; micro-analysing myself, hence not feeling yet ‘perfect’ 😔🙄]

[…] If you feel there is serious injustice, you would fight for yourself and on the behalf of loved ones. That is your aries mercury and libra moon.

—> especially towards my loved ones: i can still leave it to Karma for myself, but for my loved ones, once I gather power, I will turn into Karma herself.

[…] Overall, you still prefer harmony over chaos.

—> truee; this gal just wants some peace

[…] Your Scorpio mars and Gemini Venus suggests you can go from 0-100 when hurt. If someone were to betray you, they would see a side of you that they didn't know existed. You are very observant, you pay attention to things that others don't. And you remember things that others forget. So in an argument, you can be vicious with your words. It can shock people.

Some may misperceive your rational and gentle side as you being a doormat or naive. Two things you definitely aren't. The things you think and say when angry may even shock you.

—> I know the power of my anger, I prefer not to lash out; if I want to hurt, I know how to do so.

—> I do feel I choose to be kind, to a fault. At times it does feel like I’m being a doormat.

Home & Family:

While you do love your family, you may have some painful memories with them. You could have a strict family. Possibly religious or very traditional. The home may make you feel restricted.

You could have a parent that put a lot of emphasis on appearances and status. This may have made you a critical person as well. Due to the way money was talked about, you need financial stability to feel secure. You can be very sentimental about your possessions too.

—> yep, true.

—> extremely sentimental with my belongings; working on declutterring but you know, it’s not easy to throw memories or part of who you were.

Career:

Aesthetics and appearances will important in your career. You could end up in a magnet position as well. Your career will become or already is very important to you. You could model, work in media/marketing. You could even be a cook or baker.

—> we’ll see about that :)

Future partner:

The good news is in vedic you AK is Venus and your partner's DK is Mars. This means you two will always be strongly attracted to another.

Passion dying out isn't something you need to worry about with your person.

They could be a person with traditional values.

Family is likely important to them. They may be religious. You would have no issues with their family. Their family is likely very sweet and welcoming as they are shown by taurus venus.

They could be a very direct person too.

Spontaneous as well. The relationship will likely begin quickly after meeting. They are a determined person. Action orientated. They could be well educated. Having a funny and sarcastic sense of humour. They may interest in politics and cars. They may be from a different ethnic background or religious background.

—> I don’t know much or should I say anything about Vedic astrology, so I will keep that in mind📝.

Love the fact that our attraction is going to be strong and undying, truly what i wish for🤗. Plus their family loving me :), not that it would have worried me, but it’s nice when things are harmonious.

I do resonate with us being of culturally different.

Solar Return: This is more likely to be accurate if you still live in the birth place.

You could be receiving or asking for help this year. You may need or get financial help. You could have a sudden shocking event in regard to higher education or travel. A trip can be planned or cancelled. You could make finals choices on a course or school.

You could be making final choices about a relationship too. Friendship or romantic or business. Something surprising may happen.

This could make you fully commit to this person or desire to fully break away.

In 2025, Jupiter your 7th ruler is conjunct Venus. This is a big indicator of meeting a romantic partner or continuing to feel joy in a relationship. With Venus, Saturn and north node in your 7th in 2025, you might be getting married or seriously committing to someone.

I hope this resonated. Please leave feedback

—> i’ll keep in mind :)

—> wow the 2025 sr made me think “Finally” but also “Wow, this soon”; nervous and excited. If it’s meeting my standards of being able to say I have someone to count and rely on, then, I can’t wait (ironically I have been, for long)

Thank you againn🤍🤍🤍, truly.

Have a good day :)

hello, thank you so much for thanking the time to leave in depth feedback. This is really helpful 🩵 And the reason I say you are attractive is because of the virgo rising & libra moon combo. These people are often nicely groomed and symmetrical. It is true virgo risings can be very critical and it’s hard for them to find satisfaction in their appearance yet to many they are attractive. Due both to your appearance and how you carry yourself. I hope you have a great 2024 and 2025. Once again thanks for the feedback!

[withoutpermissionarchive]

"A Good Dad" by Johnny Baker

What do you want your kids to say about you at your funeral?”

That’s a crazy question, right? Imagine trying to answer it while sitting in your first parenting class — inside a federal prison. I was 23 and the father of two children with another on the way when a judge sentenced me to more than 50 years behind bars for my involvement in a robbery spree. If you take a moment to do the math, you’ll realize that my children could be grandparents by the time I am released.

“Dad” is the most important name I have. After all is said and done, I want my kids to think I was funny, smart and the one they went to for help. A lot of guys in here think that’s impossible. It would be easy to give up and expect someone on the outside to take over and raise my children. But I don’t want my children to go through what I did.

My earliest memory of my parents is of them standing on our front porch, their hands cuffed behind their backs. I was 4 years old. My little brother Donny and I watched through tears from the inside of a police car. Our youngest brother, Derrick, had just passed away. Much later, we would learn that he had died of sudden infant death syndrome. But nobody knew it then. That night, the car took us away and we didn’t see our parents for more than a year.

When we all got back together, things were good until the “big fight”: Donny and I were playing with wooden blocks in our bedroom when we heard Mom screaming. I ran to the living room and found Dad holding her down on the couch. “Get a knife!” she yelled. Without thinking, I dashed toward the kitchen, but Dad slammed me into a wall. I was so scared that I hid under my bed. “Daddy is mad at me and Mommy,” I told Donny as we both cried. I was 6 years old and my family was never whole again.

When I was 9, my two brothers and I moved into a motel with Mom, where she had a job cleaning rooms. One day, she wouldn’t let me into the bathroom. At first, I didn’t know what the bad smell coming from the room was. Eventually, I found a glass pipe in the bathroom trash and an older friend, who sold drugs, told me it was crack.

Soon Mom was disappearing for days or weeks at a time. She would say she was going to get us pizza and not come back. Eventually, the hotel manager got mad and said we had to leave. Instead, I made a deal with him: He’d let us stay if I cleaned rooms, plus he agreed to pay me $1 for each room cleaned. I used that money to buy us food. We ate mac and cheese, mustard sandwiches and cereal. I made sure my younger brothers got to school every day while I worked. I dropped out of school before I even finished middle school.

Because I didn’t have any parental guidance as a child, I vowed that my children would never have to find their way in this world without me. Despite my promise, I made a horrible decision that left them without their dad. I was devastated. Every time I spoke on the phone with my oldest daughter, who was then 5, she asked where I was and when she could come see me. I didn’t know what to say, so I lied and said I was in the Army. But she continued to pepper her mother and me with questions until she was told the truth. During one phone call, she asked, “What were you thinking when you did that bad thing? Don’t you love us?” In that moment, I realized how selfish I had been. I later assured her that my love for them was everlasting, and promised to be honest from that day forward.

I recognized that I didn’t know the first thing about being a father; I’d had my first child at 17 so I enrolled in parenting classes and got a job in the prison’s education department. I figured that if I was surrounded by information, maybe I would start learning. In parenting classes, I discovered that communication is everything. Before I could develop a strong relationship with my kids, the communication had to be there, as well as listening. It’s how I can express my love.

I opened every avenue of communication available — phone, emails, letters. I talk to them every day. In the morning, I email wishing them a wonderful day at school. When they come home, another message is waiting. Each child gets their own 15-minute call to go over schoolwork with me, plus unlimited emails. We also work on personal projects together, sharing drawings and poetry. Expressing ourselves through art has drawn us closer.

Our calls aren’t about only schoolwork. I have given them advice about how to cook a new recipe or create a new hairstyle. We talk about music and even sing a few notes together. Sometimes we are so deep in conversation, we miss the beep warning us that the call is about to be cut off. The phone fees are costly in federal prison, but there is nothing I’d rather spend money on.

I have enormous admiration and respect for my son’s mother, as well as my fiancee, who is raising my daughters in their mother’s absence. Being a single parent is difficult, so I try to bear as much of the weight as I can from here. When my kids have arguments with friends or they are feeling down, they’ll email and ask me to call and talk it out. There are times when my daughters have stepped out of line at school and my fiancee and I coordinate cutting off their Internet access as a consequence. They know we always have a lesson to share with them.

Today, every decision I make involves my children. My life is dedicated to educating them and helping them reach their goals. My daughters are now 14 and 13, and my son is 9. The most valuable gifts that a parent can give are time and a listening ear. I have all the time in the world, and my ear is always here for them. When the day comes for them to speak at my funeral, I hope they’ll say I was the best dad.

[spikeisawesome456]

what happened this weeek bro????

Well, funny you should ask that, my friend! Completely unprompted and everything! 😅

Ahhh. But BOY has this week been a chore. The last two days especially. I'll put this in a read more to prevent dash clutter, because this is a LOT. -.-

Anyway. For context, I am currently getting my master's degree in Educational Counseling, to hopefully become a school counselor. My college is completely online, which is helpful in some ways, unhelpful in others. I am also an after school teacher at an elementary school, a job I've had for almost 5 years now.

So, on Monday the 3rd, almost two weeks ago, my very last grad class started. My program has us doing one class a month, instead of five classes a semester or something, so this is my only class for this month (and the next, since this is a research class/my thesis class, and is logically a bit longer).

However, instead of hearing from my new professor on the 3rd, we had radio silence for a week. This was very frustrating, since I have quite a few questions about my research project that I came up with in my last class in December (yes, my last class ended in December, I guess they didn't have this class until April for some reason. I've been doing my internship the last 3 months though, so I was fine with it), but I decided to overlook it and do the assignments, which were just to submit the assignments from the last research class I took in December, which was easy.

Then, this Monday the 10th, I finally heard from my professor. She sent everyone a few emails at 3 am (??? Why 3 am I have no idea. I bet she finally checked her email, went "OH SHOOT I HAVE CLASS" and frantically send the emails), one of which said our first zoom class was that day at 5pm. Problem is, I work until 6:00 every week day, and I didn't have nearly enough time to ask for the hour off. Plus, I was a bit pissed at my prof for not giving enough warning. I sent an email asking if she would record the class, as well as asking her my main question I had. She replied back saying that she wanted to meet up with me privately, which I said that I was amenable to, telling her my availability. She then... emailed me back (calling me KAREN, when I had said my name is KATIE VERY CLEARLY IN MY CLOSER AND MY EMAIL IS LITERALLY MY FULL NAME) saying I didn't answer her????? When I very obviously did???

Well. Whatever, it was weird, but we eventually decided to meet Friday (today) at noon. I confirmed it, she didn't, but I just hoped she'd make the meeting.

Which... she did not. I sent her an email this morning at 7:00 asking for confirmation, and she never responded??? At all??? Like... dude??????? Finally, at noon, I decided to call it a wash and went to lunch with my parents. I had left my internship early for the meeting, too, and I was honestly super pissed.

But you want to know the kicker?? The real kick in the nuts????? When I finally got to lunch and sat down at 12:50... I opened my email for funsies and saw that she had finally emailed me... AT 12:15, SAYING THAT SHE WAS WAITING IN THE CLASS ZOOM LINK THAT SHE SENT THE CLASS. THAT SHE NEVER TOLD ME WE WERE SUPPOSED TO MEET IN. WHAT THE HELL.

I was SO DONE at this point I wanted to scream. I have since emailed the director of the whole program, her boss, and hopefully the director will get back to me... soon. But I have a feeling I will be stuck with this moron, for my most important class. And the worst thing is, I STILL DON'T HAVE AN ANSWER TO MY QUESTION, MEANING I DON'T KNOW IF I'M WASTING MY TIME DOING THIS WEEK'S HOMEWORK. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Ugh.

Anyway. If you thought THAT was bad, I also found out that I'm apparently not enrolled in my second internship class, despite the fact I'm at the exact same location, with the exact same counselor as my supervisor (I have a new internship class every 200 hours apparently, needing 600 hours total). No one told me I needed to apply for each class, either. But regardless, I now have to apply to the next class, even though I just finished my last 200 hours and am now starting my next 200, but I don't even know if they will count because my school is incompetent. And on top of that, the person who is reviewing my application has no idea how to insert my birth day and SSN into the credential website to see if I am clear to work at a school. I'm just... so freaking done with this school, I HATE THEM SO MUCH AHHHHH.

AND THEN, ON TOP OF ALL THAT... At work yesterday, there was legit a NAKED MAN IN THE WINDOW OF THE HOUSE OVERLOOKING THE AREA WE HAVE THE KIDS PLAY IN EVERY DAY. AND TWO STUDENTS SAW HIM, ONE A KINDERGARTEN GIRL. AND SHE SAID SHE SAW EVERYTHING. This poor little girl... I looked to confirm there was indeed a naked man, and while I was able to look away fast enough to not see anything untoward (and the window was slightly blurred at least), I was able to confirm that he was, at least, not wearing a shirt or pants. Whether he had underwear on, I don't know, but it was still very disturbing, especially because he's been watching us for a few months now... I thought it was just some guy looking over his fence curiously at the kids outside, but now, I don't know. He definitely knew we were out there, since I am fairly certain I saw his face. My supervisor is handling this one, but I still am very creeped out by this.

Anyway, there is more, but I'm tired just writing this. I want to sleep for days, but I don't even get to rest this weekend, since I have homework THAT I DON'T KNOW WILL EVEN MATTER SINCE I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN DO MY RESEARCH, but whatever. WHATEVER. At least the work isn't hard. It's just coming up with my questionnaire for the kids to answer. But still!!!

So, that's how my week has been going. How's yours?? :-) :-) :-)