#it is an inherent part of nature
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the way a lot of people on this app demonize sex and sexuality is kinda scary honestly
#inability to separate personal discomfort vs something being bad#and for americans specifically#an unwillingness to reflect on being raised in an evangelical society and does a lot of lip service towards progressive ideals without#putting in the work to break down the harmful belief system ur raised in#and instead pretends they are fully intellectual homegrown ideas#and use them to boost ur ego and attack others#sex is not evil nudity isnt evil#talking about it showing it exploring it isnt bad#we are animals#demonizing sex has never worked towards a more just society because sex is NORMAL!!!!!#it is an inherent part of nature#demonizing sex just leads to shame and secret and shadows
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not enough discussion about the gavins' complicated relationship with feminine-coded/beauty products, i don't think.
#for klavier because it's not as direct it's about how we never see him actually wearing lipstick? even though apollo literally attends#a concert of his which is where you'd most expect him to wear makeup. but apparently he just doesnt. or at least not in public#klavier gavin#kristoph gavin#i feel like there are several ways you can read into it. the misogyny/toxic masculinity one is really obvious clearly with kristoph's#singling out of men specifically and klavier's (probably accidental?) condescending manner of calling women 'fraulein' plus his general#mildly patronising attitude towards many of the women in the game (also probably unintentional)#(i think he's trying to be charming and it's coming off wrong to some of them. like ema. and me.)#but i feel like there's also maybe an element of... inherent perfecfionism to it? like both of these products are conventionally beautifyin#products and kristoph while he is open to showing people he uses nail polish specifically chooses one that's clear and missable unless you#see him apply it. he also feels the need to justify his use of it and specifically spell it out as something he chooses to do rather than#needs to do even though duh. that should be obvious.#idk there's just something about his seeming need to take control of that narrative that i find interesting. his need to spin it into a#'there's nothing wrong with my nails but I had the foresight to see that even the smallest parts of my appearance should be kept immaculate#and it's a choice i'm making to refine an already adequate part of my personage /not/ to cover some unsightly defect.' the need to emphasis#that specifically is so. hm. and with klavier i could see it being a case of him liking makeup liking the pops of colour yet being unwillin#to admit to it because he's afraid that other people might see it as him being dissatisfied with his own appearance regardless of if he is#or isn't. or even just perceiving colourful makeup as being unseemly because it's so overt and unnatural.#like i can see this as them both viewing 'real' beauty to be that which is inherent to a person and seemingly effortless#thus somehow negating the beauty which one achieves through cosmetics or other external means.#and if you want to use external means to achieve beauty or neatness or whatever then your only valid options are those which blend into you#natural state. like clear nail polish. or really awful spray tan.#i feel like klavier's less confined by these ideas (if they hold merit at all) considering he actually owns coloured lipstick and he wears#jewellery (admittedly quite 'masculine' jewellery no gems or pearls or anything like that but jewellery nonetheless) but i think it just#makes it more interesting that he doesnt seem quite able to cross the line anyway. like it's that ingrained into his system.#anyway that's all i've got. you guys should tell me what you think too#annotations
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I've sort of developed a strange relationship with the concept of "realism" in the things I make.
Something I was very into as like, an eleven year old (im not implying this was immature to be into, just that it was formative for me), was speculative biology specifically for dragons, and now, specifically in the case of dragons I find a lot of attempts to make them biologically plausible fully missing the appeal of dragons at all.
Thinking specifically about the supernatural elements of JoM and where the line is drawn. The dagnyds are made from the remains of godlike entities, and are not entirely earthly animals. They have a supernatural origin. It would be fully justified in giving them magic abilities or making magic an aspect of the setting, but have absolutely zero interest in doing so. It doesn't interest me. I think about shit like healing powers or glowy energy attacks and my reaction is just "what does this even add? Why do I need this? Does this make things more interesting?" And it simply doesn't. Healing is more interesting as a prolonged process, combat is more interesting with teeth and claws and metal and blood. These are options which are more realistic, closer to real life, but the realism isn't what makes them interesting: it's physicality.
When I design a creature for this world, I am not thinking about making it biologically plausible, and yet, I try to design things which look like they could 'move under their own power'. There is a sense of heft and mechanical "soundness" which I value more than realism, but often also aligns with looking 'realistic'.
I would say that it's better to serve a narrative than strive for absolute realism, but I don't actually write stories, although I do have ideas for them occasionally. I guess a version of this which is more relevant and applicable is that i prefer to strive for a particular vibe.
#extremely aimless post#what does this make me#a moderate? a centrist? god forbid#also does anyone else have the thing where they try and italicize a word and it works for a little bit and then decides actually you wanted#to italicize this whole paragraph right?#also grammar correct seems only there to try and obliterate the cadance of my sentences#anyways im not here for soft or hard scifi/fantasy/whatever make it al dente#With Teeth! ahaha#also part of why im sort of struggling with making my stuff into a game is i dont like the inherent abstraction of gameified mechanics#i also realized that i am fond of something like an RPG but find a lot of RPG mechanics sort of fluffy and superfluous. like was thinking#like i was thinking about a combat system and realized i dont actually care about this or think it's necessary? like constant pointless#small battles#in my setting which DOES have a magic system magic in that world is understood as like. a branch of science#on account of it being an observible tangible manipulatable aspect of the natural world its like lumped in with physical sciences instead of#arbitrarily being considered apart#ive also never been able to make somethething thats like fully a hard science fiction thing because the only science i care about is like.#biology
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sometimes a family is you, your girlfriend, her husband who's also your boyfriend, your mutual son and his electric rat, a mr. mime, and a baby
#delia ketchum#professor burnet#professor kukui#anipoke#pokeani#pokemon sumo#millidrew#art#my post#imagine the profs in i <3 milfs shirt thanks#probably a long multi-year slow burn that's also a very fast burn#bc they co-parent as friends for years. they're just known as ash's parents/family#kukui and burnet are madly in love and everyone knows it so they wouldn't consider the idea of there being someone else for a long time#delia wouldn't want to leave her restaurant in pallet and obvs the profs are staying in alola for their work so there's physical distance#so they call a lot until they get closer and closer until their lives aren't just connected by their love of ash#but also their relationships with each other <3#like i imagine they'd call for baby advice abt lei forgetting its like 4am in kanto LMAO and delia reminiscences on raising ash#as a single teen mom w/ no support. and maybe they surprise her by visiting!!!#i don't know how long it'd take for her to see lei in person tho... i think delia would have to go to alola#and ofc delia has feelings about ash and his second family and them seeing him more than she sees him at first#but it works out in the end because she's still a part of it <3 and bc ash is like her and neither dwell on feelings for too long#they're too whimsical#ash is just happy his mom's happy. and naturally they're both oblivious to the romantic aspects AKSDKMA#this isn't inherently romantic but it's about family...intimacy...love that creeps up on you but feels totally natural...#also i think they should kiss
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idk it's such a very small thing but "maybe you killed her with renju." "don't be ridiculous!" is very cool very epic i think. credit to both voice actors bc i believe that, their whole past and future entanglements aside, hitomi just fucking despised date for a second there to be honest
#like typed out in plain text its there but its kind of whatever its an interrogation sequence but when ur there everything really sells it#date has a level of empathy that allows him to be very sensitive and kind and intuit what people need from him emotionally.#naturally. on the other hand it gives him an ability to be uniquely aggressive and cruel. sometimes he's just nasty and awful.#similar vibes to him getting up and circling 'iris' like a vulture to intimidate her in that sequence when he's not getting what he wants#Woof creeps me out#im just delighted at hitomi snapping back at him spit in that mans face#im gonna Get You#aitsf#ai the somnium files#aitsf spoilers#hitomi sagan#kaname date#part of the duality with aiba (in ai1 anyway) is she can be inadvertently unkind due to inherent gaps in her logic and reliance on data#date is very good at empathising and guessing at vibes reading cues without even thinking to do it. but he's cruel on purpose
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Your tag saying Mikan is gonna have it rough has me worried. She’s already been through enough! I mean they all have but especially her! I don’t even want to imagine what her haunting is like!
there's no metric for suffering so it's not like she literally has more bad than the boys. I just mean that, to me, things pertaining to childbirth and the menstrual cycle is horror in itself so it hits harder
#It just feels more. Invasive idk. Especially for someone like Mikan whos been physically disrespected SO much#Especially when the source of horror is her first 'true' 'love'#I mean eaugh it's giving me Heebie jeebies just thinking about it#I guess it's a case of. I can't imagine a haunted eye or arm.#But the consequences of something Inside Your Body that you No Longer Want? I can imagine that better#But that's getting into serious dark territory even for me#Not saying any of this is inherent horror btw it's just bad TO ME and also I feel like we shouldn't deny the horror of-#-that specific part of a body being treated as if it doesn't belong to you. You know.#Hey man I would have never chosen this narrative but this is what canon said and I'm just thinking the horror to it's end as comes natural
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i feel like theres something to be said about how i and many other poc ive spoken to had to take longer to come to terms with what gender means because theres such a western perception of gender thats been forced on us. every discussion on gender nonconformity we’re allowed to participate in has always been centered around white people and their standards for beauty; meanwhile those of us that aren’t white are meant to conform to their labels despite that gender means different things to people from different parts of the world.
this isn’t even exclusive to trans people of color: if youve ever been a south asian girl in a predominantly white country then i don’t doubt there’s been times where you’ve questioned what being a woman actually means. ive lived that. and despite the identity ive chosen for myself now there were still times where i felt like it wasnt even possible for me to be a woman because white beauty standards dictate that dark body hair on women is bad and women shouldnt have facial hair and big noses are unbecoming of women and so on and so forth.
and i think to make matters worse, the only form of trans representation we’re allowed is white trans people; even in communities where we’re supposed to be seen, we can’t see ourselves. its partly for this reason that i’ve always had stronger feelings about seeing people of color on the screen than i ever have about white trans people— even if the people of color in question are cishet, they understand my feelings on gender in ways that i dont think a lot of white trans people can even comprehend.
and further on that topic i’ve always found it fascinating that a lot of white trans people in this community feel like big noses, body hair, thicker eyebrows, etc on women is masculine, how men having longer hair or being soft spoken and polite is inherently feminine, and they’ll parade that as their form of being gnc— and i have to wonder how many of these people have considered that a lot of these features are far more prominent in people of all genders in certain ethnic groups, or is an inherent influence of culture in other countries. it feels almost like we’re being put up in an exhibit to be gawked at. i don’t think the features of the body i was born with make me inherently masculine, rather my chosen expression with it, but that’s not something a lot of white people seem to see. there is so much pressure on us to submit to their standards of what gender and gender non-conformity means to them, and i really wish that was a more frequent subject of discussion in the trans community.
#mileposting#SORRY i have a lot of thoughts and feelings this morning#i was thinking back on a conversation i had with a friend a year ago about how its hard to feel like youre part of the gender binary#when the inherent nature of the western binary is that it fully excludes the experiences of poc#this isnt very well written i was mostly just putting down what came to mind. well. anyway#sorry this post is long as fuck
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Aziraphale has picked up a lot of hobbies and interests and knowledge throughout the years, he's pretty much a quilted patchwork of skills. He does a lot of things Angels don't really do like dance, bake, drive a car, draw etc. And he's got a skill for those things and Aziraphale is also interested in learning French despite being able to speak every language and magic despite being able to miracle the impossible, and he's terrible at them. In a weird way he's Bad at things he's Inherently Good at and he's Good at things he's not Inherently Good at. Like how he's supposed to be Inherently Good as an Angel but messes up a lot when it comes to it. Did I make sense
#Good omens#Aziraphale#Like I'd argue why Aziraphale struggles hard at learning French and magic bc he's already Naturally Capable of doing it#Like it's literally part of his make up. So he has to 'fight back' against that Inherentness while simultaneously#Learning those skills the hard way#So I just don't doubt he has to learn them twice as hard than he did w other skills#He really took into knowledge like duck to water#There's also the fact that Angels are supposed to be Inherently Good. But he messes up w that a lot too#Lile he makes a lot of mistakes. Stumbles through it like a newborn fawn w shaky legs#But he keeps getting back up and trying his hand at it again and again anyways. Even if he doesn't always get it right#I dont doubt that's why Crowley loves him for that#It's the fact that he tries anyway. That's waay more than what can be said on most angels#Go#Good omens spoilers#Go spoilers#Good omens 2#Good omens meta
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Dragonlance au where somebody other than Caramon actually does right by Raistlin when he's a kid instead of resenting, ostracizing, and demonizing him
#me reading these books is always 'gee maybe somebody shouldve treated these kids like a person and you wouldn't have an evil mastermind'#'they were wrong since birth!' you sure about that? you sure it was 100% nature? their circumstances didnt play a part at all?#my brother in Solinari children arent inherently evil#dragonlance#raistlin majere
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*draws something for the first time in a while. “Man I suck at drawing! Maybe go back to being good at it if I draw more!”
*doesn’t draw
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“Oh I got a neat idea for a drawing! Surely I have gotten better by now!” Loop post
#this revelation brought to you by the one and only#midnight brainrot#probably could not of put these things together without the malaise of a mind awake at 3 am again despite saying that they’re ”trying to fix#their sleep schedule ~”#bah. I say things yet never do them. my brain always blocks any sort of progress with ”just one more video”#even fun and enjoyment bends the knee to this declaration#even other YouTube videos!#when I do break it I end up back where I was because like asking for literally anything my brain does so much pushback that it feels#inherently wrong on a fundamental level#I don’t think I’m depressed I like life too much and enjoy existence#is this my brain punishing me for not dying before reaching adulthood like I always thought I would? or is it punishment for not constantly#going from the end of high school to another school like I planned because my purpose in life was to learn and go to school until I die#now I am left without purpose. literally wandering my house like a ghost when no one’s home#I say the two same things to my brother when he gets home so much that he once made a joke about me being an npc#and the worse part is. it wasn’t about that dumb TikTok brainrot meme thing. no it was because I say the exact same things the exact same wa#y every time he gets home. worse more is I can think of several other ways that that statement could be more accurate that he doesn’t know a#bout#I wish to game but never do#I want to make art and such but I never do#I went to an art class for years when I was a kid for Pete’s sake!#my parents complain about my hair being too long and I agree but I still want it long I just always kept it short because of simple ma#maintenance. the only reason I ever grew it out was to keep warm I. the winter!#I spent my childhood with self imposed utilitarianism for no reason#no reason to expand my horizons and explore myself because I thought of myself as a lesser being that was fated to die randomly before#I could reproduce.#oh my goodness the reproduction thing! I thought I was straight for the longest time because I had to be#because the purpose of a person is to reproduce. yet I was all like”I can’t reproduce as I am autistic and would taint my offspring. I am a#genetic dead end and deserve to have the effect of natural selection take place”#through tv show mimicry and being a utilitarian little git I forced myself to be straight for years#and the worse part is I KNEW GAY PEOPLE EXISTED AND I ENVYED THEM FOR NOT HAVING TO REPRODUCE OH MY GOD IS THIS WHAT KARKAT FELT LIKE? NO I
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Something I think would destroy Michael when he finally got out of William's house:
At every turn, the adults who were supposed to care for him failed him. Now that he's an adult, nobody is expected to help him at all.
#something something the inherently inhospitable nature of a society lacking in community support#also the weird idea that once people are grown to a certain point they don't need like. nurturing#humans are social creatures who need nurturing even in elderhood#and he just. he doesn't have anybody to turn to for guidance rlly#henry would say he's there but in practice. there's a lot he cannot adequately do. esp after denying helping mike for so long#also full disclosure i am having A Time at 4 am and 100% projecting#my healthiest coping mechanism is. tormenting writing michael ig#getting gerascophobia vibes from mike tbh. he was scared of adults as a kid and now that he is one he's alone#which makes it darkly comical that he ends up having to live inside a body that rotted instead#he never got the chance to grow old. but what is decay if not the degenerative part of aging taken to an extreme#i feel like someone could write a poem about that but i need to fucking sleep#i have to be up in. 2 hours. help#fnaf#michael afton#mike's stuff
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trying sooooo so hard to get my spooky ghost theon wip done in time for halloween. we are 15k words in and the in the end is in sight but I’ve still got some pretty major scenes I need to finish plus the ending and then I have to EDIT the damn thing and fill in all my placement holder brackets etc and then do a “would he fucking say that?” pass and also I have work and sleep and stuff during the day SO. ig we’ll see if I can get all that done by thursday 😭
#it’s dire out here like I am out here on google docs in the bathroom at work 😭#and I’ve been having some rough writers block on a big important argument scene bc there’s Much going on#both externally and internally and i want it all to come across genuinely and also yk. have emotional impact on the reader etc#I’ve written parts of it but trying to get it all out together in a way that feels natural is harddddd#plus idk if it’s spooky enough overall…….i can’t stop writing in comedic bits about the inherent silliness of this ghost situation 😭
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Next time someone uses the word "speciesist" to describe the consumption of animal matter or says you can't be an anarchist if you're not vegan because "humans > animals is a hierarchy" I'm going to look them in the eye and say "Why are animals higher in the hierarchy than plants? Why are you kingdomist?" And it's not going to be ironically at all.
#also I can't fucking stand ''vegans'' who think eating animals is morally wrong except it's fine if it's fish. that doesn't count obviously#anyways to me eating other animals is about the LACK of a hierarchy. NOT eating them would be ''humans > animals''#because you are refusing to take part in the cycle of nature and what your body & brain were designed to do for the belief that#you are inherently above nature & other animals and can choose to opt out of it all#not even regarding the fact that I'm not human‚ I'm a carnivorous bird of prey and I eat meat to feel in tune with my species#maybe I could survive biologically on fucking celery and lima beans but not psychologically#my point here is though. that plants are living creatures. when you eat a plant you are still killing a living thing.#I'm sorry but unless you are a photosynthesizer or other kind of autotroph you're going to have to accept that you kill to eat#and if it's about the unethical farming to you look up sometime what we're doing to our topsoil with monocultures#at least that's if the terrible labor practices and exploitation of PEOPLE don't make an impact on your empathy
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truly lmao 2024 lambda literary award finalist wynnstannery
#have probably already heard of these awards w/o absorbing it but has a sizable [twitter acct you follow follows this acct] overlap for one#wikipedia blurb ''to recognize the crucial role lgbtq writers play in shaping the world...celebrate the very best in lgbtq literature''#Lol! naturally everyone set to laugh abt Individually being lambda award finalist Authors amidst 40+ anthology contributors. sure#and of course oh absolutely crucial cam stone page. we did make the back of book blurb too after all#born of [crucially soph nothingunrealistic (a) investigates that akd role which (ai) leads to me also checking it out. later (b)#investigates this Call For Submissions For All Trans F&F Zine which (bi) leads to me going ''oh so true cam stone Needs to be there'']#all originating in The Wrong Fake ''Fans'' Show Up For Billions By Way Of Beloved Character Winston lmao#b/c fr imagine the trans f&f zine Doesn't have a Did You Know That???? page abt a delightful akd role & canon nonbinary f&f character#but this amidst Plenty of ''fake'' ''wrong'' ''fans'' messing around w/the concept of Fast & Furious as a Work throughout#as i said & got the feedback of [hell yes You Get It] that the premise Guarantees you get a very Varied & inherently Playful response#not b/c playfulness need be ''unserious'' but it sure need not be ''serious.'' like f&f itself; as part of [the premise guarantees it]#& that the Range of ways ppl can approach this broad concept is like the Range of ways ppl can approach the broad concept of Gender lol#& not Unearnest but needing no Gravitas / ''serious'' ''legitimacy'' guaranteed in turn to ''validate'' your efforts#and your not being the ''right'' or ''expected'' audience getting the perhaps straight(tm)forwardly intended experience here lmao#so in many ways it did feel very resonant / relevant to wynnstannery#embracing [the one use of: editor's note!] and [the one use of: the word ''autistic''!]#2 trans 2 furious#which is probably gonna get a physical reprint sooner than later; pdfs still available despite the lack of link there#was already The Intention if vaguely so; now with the added ''can put the 2024 Lambda Award Nominee / Finalist on the cover lol''#page 54 (i believe) brought to you by a couple of quantnoisseurs; rushed to finish last minute then ft. some post deadline edits lmao#classic....nonzero other works i've Heard Of! nice#which: sure does seem like the focus here is like ''did you hear about these books? :)'' as many ''awards'' can ultimately be#like i Am hearing about them now. had seen abt Being Ace on twitter interesting interesting. hi honey i'm homo hell yeah#do we have one or two f&f films left? put cam stone cameo in there for real. Fast furious worth the effort worth the cost#& just shoutout to the like bifurcation of Akd Role Types. [intense in a relatively restrained affect way. some dramatic flair for sure]#and [spontaneous! vivacious! bright! playful! pretty emotionally open!] that's right lmao
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i get that it's fun from a fan perspective and i'm not trying to disparge that, but I think analysis wise, trying to overly determine scientific understanding to the canon framework kind of. misses the lens through which the framework is asking to be understood in the first place.
it's in the name and what's associated w it. the literary canon which upholds a specific body of texts as worthy of acclaim. the 'canon' as used in a colloquiel sense in fan communities to talk about about what elements of a text are unquestionably certain. hell (though i'd personally say spiderverse probably isn't intentionally invoking this subtext), canon as law by which you are judged.
'canon' in spiderverse is specifically being utilised as a vehicle for the characters to question the purpose of suffering within their lives (and because they are characters for which these aren't imagined stakes, they place it within a framework of fate), and as the means to ask the audience to interogate why we we uphold particular elements or beats of The Spiderman Story as ‘legitimise’ that retelling
#am just still mulling over the points cdromances made btw if ur wondering why this just sounds exactly what u were saying fkjsdhfkjdsk#it always comes back to my lad lmao but yeah this is why i find 'WELL if miguel understood scientifically that the multiverse's inherent#nature means that any patterns are coicidence we wouldnt be in this bitch of a situation' kind of like. not meeting the story where it want#to be met. also it ignores the fact that from the perspective of the characters they ARE trying to place some sense of order or#understanding upon their own suffering (and thus the canon). peter moralises it and says if not for uncle ben he wouldnt have done so much#good (where god...peter has never forgiven himself for this huh) and miguel percieves canon as a force of nature that takes everything from#you if you want differently than what you are ordained by fate.#the scientific lens just not really being what the story is asking for IS part of the joke to me when miguel and miles have the name off#over the spiderverse. because miguel applies scientific language yeah but the point is hes just saying the exact same thing as miles#thats the joke. so its not a lens the story is asking to be applied here.#tunes talks spiderverse#atsv
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as ever it's always so weird to me to even think about a younger version of jack in a modern verse that is set post-social media/smartphone technology because, even in a verse where he grew up with it, i still don't think jack has any interest in that sort of stuff? he doesn't watch much tv, he doesn't really play video games, i reckon the smartphone he owns is pretty basic because he doesn't use half of the stuff that is on there. as vain and self-absorbed as he is, he's not insecure enough about his appearance to have an insta account and need the validation that it brings. i imagine the only social media presence he has aside from whatsapp is a twitter and perhaps a tiktok account because both of those appeal to his need to argue with strangers on the internet and his adhd brain respectively lmao
#&. what’s puzzling you is the nature of my game ( headcanon / modern. )#my reasoning for jack being chronically offline in a modern verse (even when he's at his default canon age)#is because while he's a celebrity of sorts in his canon verse#he's the mythical sort whose notoriety spreads through word of mouth#and not everything said about him is the truth#in the era of social media there is that pressure to share everything about yourself online#and that takes away a lot of that inherent mystery#and a fundamental part of jack's character is that you /don't/ know much about him or how much is actually true#therefore he is a weird offline cryptid
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