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lilmajorshawty · 4 years ago

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The Signs Vs The Houses Sun Edition 🎇

Sun In Aries Vs Sun In First House:

(Pantheon God Ares Vs Lucifer Morning Star.)

Sun in Aries: Pantheon God Ares

Song: _By. Alexander - Trumpets Ft 070Shake

These Natives don’t readily showcase their independent traits outright but their intensity is actively expressed in different ways from one another almost like reverse parts of a long mirror. Sun in Aries natives are actively nonchalant, impartial and seemingly low energy to those who don’t know their outward appearance is merely a facade. Aries suns aren’t readily expresses of their more generic traits, their impulsive nature is often hidden underneath their calm demeanor. unlike sun in the 1st housers Aries suns are good at playing into a more watered down version of themselves if it serves to aid the type of reaction they will get from the audience of their choice. They much like Pisces can be deceptively charming, disarming and tremendously jovial but underneath this lay a impulsive, reactive and swift minded individual. Aries suns are more observant than they are open warfare types, meaning that their darker side is something revealed in quiet privacy. They are in actuality very polite and keep much of their outward passions in check as to not alert others of their intentions before the Aries sun native has already assessed the consequences their potential action might bring. They are tactitions in nature much like the war god ares, much of their actions are weighed and planned. much is done in secrecy or in the safety net of a desired outcome for them. They naturally seem disinterested or bored by their surroundings but can also have a testy, or rather flighty energy around being in spaces for longer than they intended. Their frigidity nature is a reflection of mars needing to be in control but the rather prideful way of the sun itself not liking to seem overly brash in order to seem regal. in this sense the sun and mars are in conflict for sun in Aries so they in turn prefer to keep their shadow face a bit more slow burn than people can perceive it to be. Aries suns are sweet and ardent but they can sometimes struggle with telling the truth, unlike their moon counterpart. Aries sun in a more masculine spirit Tends to be the most immature with their desires, mainly being self invested. Aries sun in feminine spirit tends to be most immature with their sexuality, readily wanting to claim the sexual limelight due to their appetite for admiration. on two sides of the coin underdeveloped Aries suns within masculine energy can struggle to see the world beyond “their” needs and “their” wants, the feminine can struggle to separate their over identification with physical gratification making them seem jealous and gluttonous for attention to those looking from the outside in.They are passionate but narcissistic. They care about those closest to them but they also battle between love for others and love for the self. Aries suns are in a never ending battle with the concept of I and how the I relates to Others. Aries sun signs definitely live by the “apart of my tribe” mentality and usually have a hard time dealing with outsiders. That being said they are a thousand times more tame then most give them credit for and only those who have been around the natives for long can ever really see their darker nature that they prefer to keep under raps. Aries suns are very loving nonetheless and dare i say the most emotionally affectionate of the fire suns. They genuinely do try for those they carefor and they honestly live by a strong code of right or wrong. despite what they might want they always recognize whether or not the action they plan on committing is morally correct or morally incorrect.

Sun in the First house: Lucifer Morningstar

Song: _By.Alexander - Stalling

Sun in the 1st Housers are quite different in terms of their immediate personality traits, because unlike Aries suns they are not under the space of just mars depending on what their sun sign is already in. rather they are swimming in the pool of mars while wearing their sun sign. Sun in the 1st house natives can be Intense, cynical, Dark and brooding. They have this perceptiveness about the world around them that can seem unnerving. People are in their eyes to comfortable with stillness and it bothers them, as they are mentally just as much as physically always moving, 100 steps ahead of everyone. To many this may seem like a blessing but it’s a curse for these natives as it creates a constant inner and outer need for chaos in some way. They want to maintain a certain level of opposition and transformation in themselves and in the environments they find themselves in. For them things could always be rearranged and redone and the more stagnant the view things the more unhappy they become as they see peace as a reflection of “lack” in themselves. in those with a masculine spirit sun in the 1st house can make them impatient, aggressive, aloof and cold in its worst but brave, perceptive, kind and generous in its healthy state. In those with feminine spirit it can make them cutthroat, rigid, blinded by the self and confrontational in its worst but vibrant, childlike, bold, and sharp of mind in its healthier state. Unlike sun in Aries these natives aren't impressed or worried about how they interact with others. These natives can seem dismissive or uninterested in people mainly because they are only impressed by people with “strength” in the manner of which they perceive strength to look like. much like Lucifer these natives live in the dark and admire those who have suffered or experienced the trenches of life only to rise from its ashes without a single complaint. to them people who can fight without seeking coddling or attention for those struggles are attractive and relatable. people who are attention seekers, overly emotional or dependent are typically what these natives avoid or tend to be the coldest towards. The reason being is that these natives underneath their cold and rather independent face are deeply sensitive and receptive to the feelings of others, but when they were young this receptiveness was often taken advantage of by the world around them. people ate these natives up and forced them to build their own personal hell to build themselves in, because in their eyes the only hell scarier then the one someone makes for you is the one you make for yourself. These natives are ambitious but also deeply full of life and vigor but to those who don’t know them deeper you may never know that beneath this light lay very serious and steady individuals willing to do whatever it takes to survive. these natives are constantly interchanging between Life and Death.

Sun In Taurus Vs Sun In The Second House:

(Artemis vs Higher Angel Metatron.)

Sun in Taurus: Artemis

Song: Ama Lou - Wires

sun in Taurus natives often represented by the bull are deserving of their steady and rather slow moving personality traits..Though in conjunction one might add in their mental gymnastics that put even the mighty Aquarius, Gemini, Libra Air trinity to shame. These natives are tremendously intellectual, they see and feel everything out just as much as they add a thick layer of rationality and logic to it. To them anything and everything can go wrong and most likely is so they tend to present themselves in a more compartmentalized way as to prevent this. on one hand they are solid and sensual in their approach to life, on the other they are distrusting and closed to outsiders. they value a certain level of work ethic in others and that is typically what softens their heart as opposed to be overly nice or suckups. they tend to be intense and insatiable but these traits are hidden underneath their polite and soft toned Venus haze. For Taurus, Venus serves merely as a cloudy ethereal presence rather than a solid body like it does for Libras which is genuinely why the two are so similar yet so deeply different. Taurus suns value a calm serenity but they value an authentic air to cultivate such serenity whereas Libras value the serenity that is without to much heaviness or demand. Taurus suns are naturally stable and patient folk, not much moves them out of character and once it does all of the magma and debris flies into the sky like radiating solar flares. These natives are insanely aware of themselves and the actions and motives of said actions of others. to them intimacy through the physical realm is the only real way to see someone and in a sense for them touch is their language. these natives are lovers of sex but contrary to belief Taurus suns just like Scorpio sun see sex a soul transaction rather than just “sex.” to them being able to meet every individual layer of a person beyond what they present is true understanding. Scorpios suns look to sex as a emotional collaboration of wounds and vulnerabilities whilst Taurus suns on the yang side of that spectrum look at sex as a Physical collaboration of involved and aware relinquishing of the self in its physical form to another. For Taurus suns they find themselves trapped between the concept of “what do they mean to me vs what do i mean to them.” this mentality often creates a emotional nature that causes them pain in life as they never really know when to let go of people, they hold onto people out of a fear of losing something important to them on a mentally materialistic plane. The men tend to handle the Taurus sun the worst as it often brings out a vain and rather expansive nature that is centered around using their possessions as lay way for their self worth. to them in their worse state their material possessions and their bodies become nothing more than tokens to scale their level of self worth which they ultimately base in the opinions of complete strangers. Taurus women/feminine energy folk tend to handle the energy well, mainly embracing their sensuality and sexuality although sometimes falling prey to their bullheaded and rather single minded advances towards life at times. in their best they can be captivating, preserving, and deeply empathetic of the woes and demons of others taking them on fearlessly. Taurus suns greatest foe as well as their biggest give away is their single-minded nature, once something catches their eye it becomes a mission, a life purpose and at times an obsession.

Sun In the Second House: Higher Angel Metatron

song: Ama Lou- This Town

For second house sun natives their similarities can often times shadow them after Taurus mainly due to the very calm and rather steady disposition they naturally posses. That being said much like the angel metatron as mentioned in text they have a far more raw energy that ensnares people to them like a spider web. They often times maintain a cool distance emotionally from those around them as to never reveal their inner thoughts but this at times gives them a much darker shade then Taurus suns as they are not as nearly well meaning in their observations of others. these natives are insanely perceptive but they tend to use this perceptiveness to read the crowd so to speak. many of us may struggle to adapt to every personality in the room or shift personas as a means of getting from point A to B in an unwanted interaction where as Second house sun natives can shift personas as will due to their gift for micro analysis. They can read a room, the people and the energy of each individual from mere glances and that makes them incredibly charming but also a tad unreadable as much of what they are showing is far away from what they truly feel. These natives are powerful in the sense that they have a vision that Taurus suns are themselves afraid to truly use. You see second house suns are often in control of their environment because they alter themselves in the necessary form needed to gain the upper hand.Many of them do well in performance art like acting because it allows them to convey their inner world without letting on its source. They often times shy away from commitments as they require the natives to be the real self vs the self they cultivate. Unlike Taurus suns who operate authentically these natives operate in a way that fits the authentic need of the people without having to give up any of their real ego. These natives also aren’t as caught up in the materialistic side of life rather they are obsessed with their self esteem and how that self esteem is equated in the real world around them. For them their biggest fear is being misused or taken advantage of and very often so life puts them in a situation where this happens to teach them a level of boundaries between themselves and that of the people who surround them. They tend to be highly passive when it comes to loss in their life. they factor the loss of people whether by death or by them leaving one another’s life as just another one of the misfortunes of the world, in their eyes it can’t be avoided and is an eventuality but even so they must continue to move forward with or without others. This trait alone separates them from their Taurus sun counterparts. They value people who are gentle and preserving but these people albeit their perfect match tend to scare sun in the second house natives the most as the idea of someone who will love them fully disgust them in a way, mainly because deep down these natives don’t truly identify with their need to be accepted and loved because it is devoured by their need to move forward at all cost. these natives teeter between the collective vs the self and often find themselves inevitably choosing the self yet resenting the loneliness that follows suite

Sun In Gemini Vs Sun In The Third House:

(The Devil Vs Satan)

Sun In Gemini: The Devil

Song: Kendrick Lamar - U

These Natives often receive much bad mouthing and malice as their traits are normally misunderstood or mis-identified as Gemini itself being a mutable sign makes it a sign that mirrors energy that is given to it onto the person sending the energy. Gemini Suns on their own are outwardly controlled and restless but internally they are a landscape of thoughts, that multiply and divide like the cells in the human body. They are like compact computers in this sense because their mental scape at times is carrying Gigabytes upon gigabytes of thought process.They are living in a busy head-space often so much of their day to day involves them tussling with their voices and which side to listen to, which one to ignore, which to dive into and so on. This is often why these natives Live for interaction and communication, the less mental release the darker the head-space and the darker the head-space the more dangerous the Gemini. The lack of stimulation can present itself as addictions, self destructive behavior and outright hatred that seems to have no source. these natives more than most feed of human contact, it provides them a way to see beyond their mind and peer into another’s for a moment of relief. Gemini suns are very tender and affectionate, often loving physical sensations as they bring new understandings and mental curiosity to the native. they often adore sex but not for the act itself but for the many sides of sex, the control, the lack of it, the passion and the lack of it, the intimacy and the lack of it, the desire and also the lack of it, to these natives they all swirl around like aspects of a cocktail. lying and creating chaos is an aspect of their two headed serpent like nature but often times the shadow self of the Gemini is the most damaged version of themselves hidden away to maintain a level of sanity for the Gemini twin in charge. Gemini sun tend to have this dualistic side to them that can sometimes present itself as real bipolar disorder but this is not something that can be applied to realism as all astrology really is, is a map for better self understanding. These natives at times fluctuate between moments of peace and moments of chaos depending on which twin makes it’s appearance. Much like the Devil these natives can carry a sharp and mischievous tone but they can also have an angelic and rather childish youth to them that is so promising and inviting like white wine underneath dying autumn leaves as summer turns to fall. They represent a deep darkness in humanity whilst also representing the angel the devil was before he fell out of grace. Gemini suns are radiating with knowledge and tid bits that could unsettle the world but they never read the whole story, the whole scripture, they hang on to the small details and create a world around it. Gemini suns tend to struggle in their early years due to the push and pull dynamic of the angel and demon complex and at times a state of passivity is reached where they could care less either way how and what is effected by their actions. These natives despite their struggles are enterprising and gifted with an intellect beyond comprehension. They masculine and feminine energy tend to struggle with this placement as it naturally represents both in both energies. much like the devil they have a rather gender less energy when it comes to the world around them which is often why many Gemini suns are bisexual or pansexual as their desires are often times less about the physical and more about the mental. they can seem to be a chameleon due to how easily they can shift in and out of personalities but ultimately they aren’t so much so becoming someone else, they’re becoming the other twin. The secondary Gemini face is unlike the devil it is angelic and curious, innocent and loving but it’s pitfall is wrath and spite. As im sure these are traits you would apply to the devil no? well in this case the angelic Gemini twin wears them as a means of not handling their wounds properly. Gemini suns unlike most people put their hurt away by passing it on to the other twin who soaks it like a sponge, as a result over the years whenever the twin rears it’s head and is mistreated as a defense mechanism it reacts in these darker toned ways that can at times be devoid of humanity due to that twin being so lacking in interaction with people. Gemini suns often struggle with the inner and outer mind. for them they desperately search for a mental release of some form and often times it takes precedence over all things no matter how grounded the Gemini Sun. a never ending therapy session full of broadness and intellectual depth is their dream as in their most vulnerable state they desperately want to be seen, not just as one face but both faces.

Sun In the Third House: Satan

Song: Kendrick Lamar- Untitled 07(Levitate)

These natives can only be described as isolated princesses & Prince solemnly watching the world circle around their creations and crafts like moths to a flame. They are so vastly different from their counterparts in the sense that for them the world is more like a game then it is a cage. They are savvy, quick of wit and naturally street smart. Many of them prance through the world as if they’ve lived in the projects, the ghetto, or the slums as it is what allows them to use the more scarce methods, having very little and even in some cases building from ash and managing to create whole empires in the place of it. To them the concept of “lack” fuels their desire to expand the concept of having nothing. To them the world is built upon fallacies and they wish to unsheathe them by playing into the role of the underdog, the follower or the easy going lover and friend until they ultimately get to the place they had been dying to reach only to sever ties, turn on, vilify or in some cases tear down those who helped them get there. Now to many of you this may sound like an evil way to get by in the world but you must understand unlike Gemini suns these natives don’t live solely in the mind rather they live in the minds of others, to them their life’s purpose is understanding the patterns and desires of others so they themselves can mold themselves into those desires, so they can predict those patterns..all of it is like chess. For them to have the higher ground on the world at large plays into their need to remain ambiguous and Elite. The masculine and feminine much Like Gemini sun present themselves as the gender or energy type that suites them at the moment. You need them to be passive? they already closed their mouth and you haven’t released you already called all the shots..you want them to be passionate and aggressive, they’ve already controlled the day, they’ve changed the way they grip you, the way they lock eyes with you..these natives can be anything, anyone..because for them the art of playing to an illusion is a survival tactic one the learn at an early age to cultivate otherwise the world will defeat them and that is something they just cannot allow much like the concept of the world peaks Satan curiosity he must constantly venture, among the people to understand them as a means of never losing, never falling short or missing a step at watching the creations of the man he despises so dearly evolve. These natives are alluring, sweet, loving but in many ways they can seem missing, far away and sometimes unavailable both emotionally and physically. the reason being is that unlike Gemini suns these natives do not need to be heard, they need to be ahead and once they feel tied or held down by something they’ve already fleshed out and had their time with their restless need to be ahead comes out and they soon gravitate their focus elsewhere. Their constantly at war with the concept of Do i understand it all vs do i understand enough at all?

Sun In Cancer Vs Sun In The Fourth House:

(Arch Angel Gabriel Vs The Deity Tsukuyomi)

Sun In Cancer: Arch Angel Gabriel

Song: Daughter - Amsterdam

These natives contrary to belief are not as lacking in emotional awareness nor are they as gullible as other might like to believe them to be. One of the most frightening traits of cancer Sun’s is their ability to emotionally detach from people and situations in a rather abrupt manner. These natives are emotive but in some ways the emotions aren’t always backing the action. Cancer suns fall into the behavior of sometimes being nice for being nice’s sake and often times care more about the feelings of others than they do themselves. In more underdeveloped masculine energies this can rear it’s head as emotional narcissism, thinking the whole room revolves around their feelings and their feelings only, leaving everyone else to have to play pick up the pieces for someone who refuses to take accountability. in some of the even lesser versions this can cause manipulation of the emotional variety, using someones vulnerability as a weapon are sometimes tactics of masculine energy cancers and Feminine energy cancers who failed to acknowledge the skeletons in their own closet. Cancer suns often remind me of Gabriel in the sense that they carry his will of doing what is needed rather than what is wanted. Cancer Suns understand the difference between need and want and often times center their life around such inclinations. To them everyone no matter where they come from desires things they don’t truly need and fortify things they want only for a moment. As a result cancer suns tend to prioritize people, things and places under the laws of what they need and what they want and often times they can turn a cold shoulder to the things they feel are momentary even if it’s a person. Cancer Suns can be powerful, enigmatic and divinely feminine no matter their gender due to their inner desire to nurture and care for others, no matter how underdeveloped or developed these natives are the desire to protect and care for others is their base setting. Many as they age become more and more like their mother, often adopting the qualities they admired most and showcasing the negative ones when under stress or moments of trauma. These natives are deeply loving and caring and at times this gets taken advantage of but only briefly as Cancer suns are almost Demonically vindictive. The natives see colors on people and tend to be highly spiritually perceptive of auras and presence within people without even exchanging words. They tend to be closed when it comes to their feelings and contrary to social media cancer Suns do not express their inner feelings readily, much like a crab they withhold and protect their underbelly often coming towards things in a side to side manner much like a crab Even more so when they are a Cancer Rising. They tend to only really open their souls to those precious to them and often times when Cancer Sun’s feel they’ve over shared they retreat and often times disappear unless reassured that the person is kind and honest. Cancer Suns despise fakes and those who are emotionally careless and rude so often times they can become dismissive and down right aggressive in an almost warrior like way when confronted by rudeness or self centered behavior. Cancer Suns have a pronounced sexuality, as they represent femininity in it’s motherly form they often embody it’s glow and sway whilst remaining Innocent and seemingly unknowing. Cancer Sun’s often become more balanced as they age as many of them see their progressed sun move into Leo which aids with the confidence and the ability to balance out their darker head spaces that arise emotionally. They can have Strong emotions and because of this in some cases some people with this placement can struggle with such things such as depression and and or manic depression, that being said this is not a product of having sun in cancer, this can happen to anyone. Cancer Suns do have fluctuating emotional states that can fly between happy weeks and months to times of solemn and lethargic states and this is often more so seen in all cancer Suns no matter whether they are in a good place or bad. the key for them is to learn identification so that way they can deal with the emotion when it comes and let it run it’s course without submerging themselves in it. Cancer suns often battle with the concept of Nurture Vs Nature. To them they feel as if it’s their divine purpose to care for others, and they feel like people should be caring enough to consider more than just themselves but in truth the world isn’t always like that and some people are indeed selfish and often times this realization of self motivation perplexes Cancer suns because on a deeper level they don’t know how to disconnect from their need to solely focus on the well being of others whilst also worrying about their own health and emotional well being.

Sun In The Fourth House: The Deity Tsukuyomi

Song: Daughter - Numbers

Ah These natives are truly a never ending Dream starting so pleasant and continuously transitioning like phases of the moon into A nightmare, a sunset, a wet dream, a night terror over and over.These natives are Vague in their difference From their sun counterpart. They seem Emotional and Actually are just as emotional as their actions give way for them to be. But in reverse order these natives do sentimental actions in seldom as they prefer to hide their softer side and present a more aloof front. Unlike Cancer suns the idea of being nice for the sake of it isn’t their forte, rather niceness that is earned is more their language. they admire a certain level of genuine feeling but despise it at the same time due to the roller coaster it sends them on. They often remind me of the Japanese God Tsukuyomi for their tenacity, their often proud and pious nature that dare i say is more Leo archetype than Leo is itself. These natives are proud of their home, to them home is a castle but oddly enough a castle they can’t stand to stay in for to long. They are not homebodies and in many cases tend to see a desire for exploration outside their home towns and often times the countries itself. These natives suffer from emotionally impulsive streaks, often entangling themselves in situations without guarding their heart because unlike Cancer suns these natives have no emotional awareness, they play everything by ear including their heart and that often throws them in an inescapable abyss that tends to devour them. Though these natives are kind at times they are also pompous, they are loving but they’re selfish about how this love is expressed. They want everything on their time often forgetting about the emotional side of things for other people and this is where they get in trouble and why people at times find them overbearing or unreachable. These natives are passionate and insanely creative, often the magnitude of this creativity as limitless as their reservoir of emotion. They wear everything loudly but also hide parts that they need when it’s convenient. these natives are rather childlike in their personality due to the fact that they don’t care much if their blatant about their disinterest or lack of concern and dare i say this is one of their worst and best traits. They don’t fake it and love or hate them they don’t give a shit. They can be tremendously spiteful though which is even more so pronounced in the feminine energy than it is the masculine. Their struggle lies in the concept of To Have and Not to have, they often times fall prey to the desire to feast and never end never once realizing that once it’s all gone they’ll have nothing. They also fail sometimes to except that just because they want to have something the other person or people in question do not also have to want it and this at times is where they minds clash, because they genuinely do not understand why people are not seeing it their way. Their moods are worse than cancer suns due to the fact that they are not aware of they are having them, this means that they can fly into a mean state without realizing they’ve shifted and this at times can make them seem far more unpredictable then they mean to be. These natives are so loving and genuinely do mean well but their ego does get the best of them with this placement quite a bit.

Sun In Leo Vs Sun In The Fifth House:

(The Sun God Ra Vs The God Of Destruction Shiva)

Sun In Leo: The Sun God Ra

Song: Empress of - Should’ve

In Certain Ways one can always find themselves confused at the hands of Leo Suns, As direct, Honest and bold as they may be parts of their personality are layered in rather elusive undertones. Leo suns are typically Vibrant, confident souls who march to the beat of their own blazing chariot and drum to match, but much of this bravado is burning so fervently as a means of hiding the softer and in many ways more docile side of these native. They pursue life in a zesty and at times rather emotionally flighty manner as to not ruffle the feathers of those who can’t keep up with them though they can’t help but relish in the fact that they themselves create energy and disperse it where ever they go and not one person can take that away from them. Despite this though Leo suns battle with their Ego on a daily basis and it’s a battle they don’t show the world. Much to their lament their heart at times has a goal of it’s own and no matter how hard they try to live by the flame eventually their flames seethe and reveal their true nature which is much more unsure, much more sentimental and compassionate. Leo Suns are deeply feeling and them being a fixed sign makes these emotions hit like an entire solar system when it happens. Though they hate to admit it they are sensitive, they want to be loved and seen authentically but are also scared of this vulnerability. For the masculine energy this can cause a flighty nature especially in the realm of the heart. Many masculine Leo’s will brake up or pull the “it’s a little too much for me” “ i think maybe we should take a brake” “i want to keep things casual,” approach with romance and things can be going great, marriage worthy and suddenly they pull out. Why? well Leo suns in their masculine spirit are deeply fearful of their feminine side, to them the idea of submission in any form even if it’s to their own heart is a weakness and one they would rather avoid. When this happens they trick themselves into becoming more sexual, more in need of the bachelor life style when in reality they know deep down they want your love, to be loved and accepted whole beyond the meaningless ass kissing they receive. This back and forth nature of their’s does continue sometimes but once they truly open their heart their love is that of a thousand burning blue suns turning the most tremendous white. For them love is their weakness and they seek to present this strong and rather disconnected stance for as long as they can because to them maintaining that powerful and free energy is their soul and to give up their soul for love is their destiny albeit one they detest. These natives are insanely willful and will fight tooth and nail to create, explore and build no matter the obstacle but that being said these natives battle their need to “escape” which can often lead them into addictive behavior as they need to run away from the feeling especially once the flames start to die down. These natives tend to be emotionally unavailable and give everyone the most calm and yet sincere showing of love but underneath i promise their is a depth and well of passion. In the feminine Leo energy is calm and proud but it is also more in-tune with the need for emotion and softness despite the universal Leo energy need for emotional tightness as to not show the world their hide. These natives often struggle with the Theme of Acknowledgement vs Rejection. For them the idea of acknowledging a weakness, a love or a vulnerability is death for them so as a result they reject it for as long as they can however they can and in this process they destroy themselves and the relationships they hold dear. they spend much time wrapped in the concept of accepting the way the feel and not running away from the side of the selves that isn’t shrouded in those glamorous flames. They are caring beyond belief despite the way those flames may fool the world, And dare i say out of many of the signs Leo Sun’s genuinely have hearts of gold in every way. Though Much Like Ra these natives are seen by many under many guises and faces many of which are farther away from the true kinded hearted soul underneath that truly is as radiant as the sun.

Sun In The Fifth House: The God Of Destruction Shiva

Song: Empress Of - Need Myself

These Natives are quite the storm of Passion and at times this can be the very damning thing in their life. These natives live by the code of fire and tend to burn and burn never realizing their flames are eating up those they care-fore just as much as their foes. They tend to be Patronizing, Domineering, Physical, animated, Passionate and driven Though at times they loose sight of those who marched with them once the goal is reached. They Adore gratification but also don’t believe others deserve it out of their idea of what it looks like to dig fingers in the dirt for something. They believe in fighting for the just things but in saying this they themselves resent people who need to feel honored for doing such a thing. See these natives despise yet love praise, to them praise feels like honey and milk but has the after taste of cleaning solution and dirt. They want to feel needed but despite co-dependence. they want to feel it all but get lost in the feeling. for them their world is one big cyclone of events they just happen to take part in but they also don’t enjoy the drama that comes along with it though it secretly fuels them. to them life is to be tamed and those who are tamed by it are simply unlucky. They value intimacy above all else because in their eyes real intimacy cannot be faked, but they have a tendency to over identify with sex and intimacy almost using it as a bargain when in reality sex and intimacy are simply a pleasant moment between people. These natives can at times be addicted to the chaos and the negligence though they try to mask it as a pursuit of fun and liveliness. Much like Shiva these natives Believe that in order to create things must be tore the fuck up in order for them to really ever be real. The arguments, the tears, the ups and downs make it real for them and usually the lack of it can drive them mad. They prioritize their romances because that’s in a sense their focal point, their sun, their divine purpose but as you can imagine it is also their worst trait as it makes them incredibly insatiable for love but it also damages them greatly when they are alone without love in life. in Feminine energy the pursuit for love isn’t as all consuming and many focus more on their art and the beauties of children and theater many times over these natives live in the club as if it is some gorgeous ballroom whilst others paint and dance as if they where in a room with all the may gods. Masculine energies tend to be on the hunt for something, be it sex, be it themselves, be it a mighty battle to delight in they constantly pursue their own ideal of the sun no matter the activity in question. These natives tend to show all their rawness even their heart because unlike Leo suns they are not fearful of their deeper emotions which is a blessing and curse at times. They tend to battle against Wrath and Happiness. For them a constant state of turmoil is their fuel but the idea of happiness in its all scares them as they fear it will bring stagnancy and boredom along with it. they want to maintain their circulation of storms and tribulations and at times happiness intimidates them as it represents completion and often times completion is not yet what they desire.

Sun In Virgo Vs Sun In The Sixth House:

(Death God Iku Vs King Yan God of Death, Of The Ten Kings Of Hell)

Sun In Virgo: Death God Iku

Song: Brent Faiyaz- Make Luv

Sun in Virgo natives aren’t so much as something you can readily identify, they are not necessarily a thing as much as they are a what. They feel good, but they also surround you like a presence rather than a physical being. They often times feel like something carnal and ethereal but at the same time gravitate away from this by their realistic and rather internally discontent energy. They seem like they are just moving through the world, like a child who found out Santa was nothing more than a fable.They want and need to be needed but this desire is rooted in their early understanding of relevance being tied to usefulness. To be relied on is better than sex for them as it feeds their inner desire to be needed. Though we say this one might also call this their greatest weakness as their dependency on being needed swarms their lives into situations that allow them to be used and rather than be sad about it they seek out more situations until these woes mount a rather steep hill deep in their psyche. They often suffer from their fair share of demons because of their blind ignorance to their own pain, to them the pain is merely a small price to pay for those small moments of being needed, being useful in that moment they are seen more than any hug, child, parental love or sexual liaison can provide. Much Like Iku these natives live amongst the shadows as a presence, fading in and out of situations like a black smoke. They love the idea of being around others but they secretly loathe it as deep down they feel the attention is swirling away from them. most feminines with this placement suffer immensely as they struggle to separate being needed from being used and separating love from hate.To them the occasional grips outlast the major ones but in reality the small ones are the ones that leave the deepest wounds, while the big ones just leave a gaping hole that was already their to begin with.They admire work ethic and creativity in others as its something they too seek to connect with but they often burn out constantly due to their lack of emotional focus. they often jump in and out of happy and down periods with the down periods out weighing the happy ones due to them not genuinely pursuing their own vices of their own free will. though they care for others they don’t really love themselves which is many times over why they purposely play the game of how long can i rip myself apart subconsciously as they systematically replay the same scenarios with the same ending. Sex is another dimension to Virgo suns, they much Like Gemini Suns see it as a curiosity but due to their earthy component the curiosity instantly dies as soon as their sensual mind catches up with what is really happening. They want and need mental as well as true physical compatibility which can only happen when they align themselves with their emotional self. This circus act tends to continue as the biggest struggle for this sign is My pain vs your pain dynamics. They never know when to draw the line and ultimately they get eaten up by it. The masculines suffer the greatest as they are prone to holding on to their past hurts and using it as justification for mistreatment of people that come after. in their eyes the world was cruel to them so why can’t they be the god and return the favor and this is often why they endure the worst as the universe punishes them tend fold.

Sun In the Sixth House: King Yan, Of the Ten Kings Of Hell

Song: Brent Faiyaz - Insecure

As many of you may Know we look to the sixth house as the house of structure, day to day activities, routines and health yet for a native with their sun here the health and the health of others can be an ongoing theme in their lives.They Are constantly running on an internal schedule one that can seem to make all of the minutes in a day pure agony. They tend to be meticulous in some cases whilst in others they seem to be following some sort of silent bell that tells them the when and where. Time management, organizing and even planning are their hidden talents mainly because when it comes to other people they are like death itself, constantly waiting, passing the time almost excited at the idea of putting everything together. They can seem detached but down to earth, their hallmark is their humility and bluntness but in some lower cases they can seem condescending and emotionally daft. They say and do things according to their mental comprised list of do’s and don’ts. most people fall in reaction and action types for them and they tend to formulate their actions and reactions in response to these but much like life itself many things are unexpected including people and this is often where these natives malfunction, they assume actions before they take place and are totally unprepared for the off chance things operate outside of that box. To them there is a steady cause and effect momentum that life runs by and often very little does life operate off this agenda. For them life can be stages and every stage represents different levels of turbulence for them, at times things are well and other times they seem unstable or at times they can seem rather abysmal but thats much like life no? things can shift in and out of focus. well you see for these natives that shift of focus can be earth shattering as they tend to revolve their life around specific situations at times which can be highly discombobulating for them when they hadn’t the time to prepare counter alternatives. These natives are quick mentally and typically love the idea of nature and it’s animals, many loving to surround themselves with lively animated pets. they tend to care for their pets and plants more than they do people at times as they naturally see nature and animals as their happy place and area of grounding. Work is also important to these natives so they can often be very proud and intense when it come to the job hunt as their job is often what they want to be known for, how good they do is always important to them. In the masculine energy this can make the men rather messy/earthy looking as they pick up their features from nature in a quite literal way. for the feminine energy types the mercurial influence gives that gender less tone once more whilst also adding a soothing and innocent beauty. these natives are often dealing with the theme of Time Vs Place. For them Time is always an issue, when is it the right time? they never know how much time to alot to moments in their which ends up creating states of drain in them, but the place has much to do with this as well as these natives fail to realize that the places they trap themselves in is a cause of their lack of time, very rarely do they set themselves in situations that give them enough time to exercise free time yet they find themselves wondering where all the time has gone when it was never there to being with.

Sun in Libra Vs Sun In The Seventh House:

(Loki The Trickster Vs Dolos/Dolus The Spirit Of Trickery)

Sun In Libra: Loki The Trickster

Song: King Princess - Back Of a Cab

As an outsider looking in it may seem like Libra suns are impartial, Sweet and charming in a way that is both fleeting yet inviting, but among their well meaning disposition lay a certain anticipation of the camera cutting into the more grotesque scene. These natives Live almost as though they were a celebrity, their minds and energy go into the upholding of the idea they present. be it that they are a punk rock don’t need a man type, or maybe they are seen as a high ranking and family oriented politician, or mayhaps they are seen as the athlete or the singer with the smile of a cool summer evening. They wont ever showcase what lay underneath due to the real self being far more ominous then people are ready for. Libra suns are in reality stoic, serious, and unenthusiastic, this may sound bad but its in reality meaning that they aren’t as wrapped up in your shit as you may think. Libra suns present themselves as more caring and more involved then they really are as in all truth being cardinal their real focus at the end of the day is their own independent well being and whether or not anything is serving the purpose it needs within their lives. They are incredibly independent and dare i say even more than Aries suns. Libra suns really go through all the effort of seeming dependent and unknowing because it allows for people to see them as less of a threat, this in term gets them leighweigh in cultivating beneficial situations for themselves without a hassle. That being said they can get into trouble when the mask fades as people begin to realize their true nature. Libra suns are caring and gentle to those around them and this part is honest as they do have an appreciation for the sensual and often the beautiful aspects of relating to others. Though that being said they have a limit of to how much interaction with others they can stand for, to much of seeing someone can bore them and depending on the nature of the continued interaction they’ll often begin to wear their mask more fiercely as they are now beginning to fight their real self from telling you to leave them be. Libra suns are well meaning but at times they do find themselves caught between the mirror of deception, this shows itself as them getting caught up on past performances they’ve up-kept coming to bite them in the ass. They rationalize things here and there but for the most part much of what they may feel is felt deeply as they tend to see emotions as a gift and something they hold onto. The reason being that Libra suns seldom stay in a moment to long so often when a strong emotion catches them off guard they welcome it though if it’s a negative emotion they tend to retreat from it especially if it’s a romantic emotion that is moving along faster than intended. They are uplifting and selfless most times but selfish and rather clouded by their romances when they do come around. Their greatest struggle tends to be The real me vs the Me everyone Thinks is me. These natives play so deeply into their roles that they often times fly so far away from their own inner world that they forget what or how to identify their own feelings apart from the ones they have made everyone believe they are experiencing.

Sun In The Seventh House: Dolos/Dolus The Spirit Of Trickery

Song: King Princess - Ohio

These natives Unlike their Libra Sun Counterparts Exhibit traits that i can only describe as seemingly disengaged yet deeply engaged at the same take. They can seem as if they are wandering, mentally shifted in another place yet almost like a trance they heard every word, saw every movement they were analyzing you yet how could you tell? These natives are observant and often times the silence is their way of capturing the moment. They prefer talkative types as they reveal more and make that part of the interaction easier for them, but people who are overly mysterious or quiet tend to offset them as it gives them very little to work with and puts the balancing act on their back. They try to make others feel understood mainly because they themselves resonate so deeply with the process of finding oneself and understanding ones own true inner workings.These natives seem tricky and deceptive but rather its more or less the spirit they give off. They seem deceptive because they don’t reveal much, yet unknown to others they just don’t identify as heavily as most with the things in their life well enough to reveal much. The seem like tricksters because they know the right time to speak and the right time to act which can at times seem like they’re planning or scheming when in reality they are simply good readers of body language and social ques. they often times trail along a sadness that they can’t seem to attach a reason to but this sadness is often the shadow. unlike Libra suns these natives can’t pretend to be something mainly because they don’t really know who they are apart from their immediate interactions with others. they have an idea but at times they feel like a shadow of something. The shadow self often tries to convince them to play roles, play into things that could possibly be them yet in actuality they know deep down that would only further the disassociation with themselves. love is a big thing for these natives but it always seems fleeting, as if all their good graces are wasted on individuals who never deserved their love. in an ironic twist though it is actually wonderful that these people come into their lives as they aid their journey to self discovery. These natives are genuine and kind hearted despite their rather quiet and too themselves nature. Their greatest battle is between The Loud Heart and The Quiet Heart. Often times these natives play into the feelings they can see but never into the ones they feel but cannot see, to them the emotions need to have a logic behind them and if not they shrug it off as a irrational emotion. They often times are terrified by their own depth mainly because it belongs to a side of themselves they are not yet familiar and this is the shadow.

Sun In Scorpio Vs Sun In The Eighth House:

(The Mighty Marques Aamon Vs Arch Angel Michael)

Sun In scorpio: The Mighty Marques Aamon

Song: Tove Lo - Are u Gonna Tell Her?

ah The mighty Scorpio sun, Riddled in the darker parts of human nature where they themselves seem to find a sense of curiosity and compulsion. These natives tend to be easy to spot, rather not for just their physical attributes but for their ominous and rather soul inquiring gaze. They see right through you and have already dressed every aspect of you soul a million times over as if it were a pull over scarf. They more often then not have an early look into the nastier side of man due to the influence of Pluto and Mars throwing down their intense calamity. See Pluto and Mars are not necessarily on equal grounding and often times Pluto ruffles Mars in just the right way for mars to gear up in aggression which then cause Pluto to polarize and become calculated and manipulative in order to gain the upper hand. due to this these natives tend to express the inner conflict outwardly as a hot and cold/off and on demeanor and approach to all things be it love, family, and even career’s. Scorpio Suns do not want to draw attention to their actions or their inner workings so much of their ego goes into sharing just enough to get what they need from others whilst revealing almost nothing of themselves. In lesser versions of Scorpio suns this can be problematic behavior as they soon become controlling, Gas light heavy and emotionally abusive to those close to them as a means of furthering their need to be in control. Make no mistake though Scorpio suns are typically battling their own demons the main difference being what part of their journey of healing they are on. Scorpio in feminine types tends to be the most afflicted as the overly competitive masculine ruling signs clashes with the more submissive or passive feminine energy. This clash is apart of what makes these natives so alluring and sensual, you can almost feel the war steaming over their skin, the pain in their eyes, the intensity, you feel all of it as if you where there with them. They tend to be very loving and loyal souls but can struggle with opening their hearts to real love, the kind that heals and extends it’s hand. Scorpio Suns have a bad knack for going after their mirror, and this in turn is apart of their journey but also a habit that must be broken. The reason is linked to the fact that Scorpios Suns are drawn naturally to people that force them to Acknowledge their trauma, darkness and inner instability which sends them on emotional benders that can last years if they are not careful. Often times the Scorpio Sun natives are in a constant flux where they must deal with Ex’s, Family dramas and at a deeper level mental brakes but this is all apart of their grand story despite how heavy the lows are. Scorpio suns as a whole struggle with the concept of Destruction and Rebirth. For them everything in their life has a life expectancy and once the time comes all things fall to ruin, only Scorpio suns obsess with the idea of rebirth leading to a form of longevity a way to ensure things never cease nor ware down..But in reality this continuously vicious cycle of Devastation and second life are draining for their spirits and their soul. It’s ok to let go and it’s okay for things to be at peace, just because there is no war at hand it is no cause for worry of an impending ending and often times these natives in their fear of this manifest their own endings. Much like the Mighty Demon Aamon these natives are compassionate and understanding but also careless, wild and wouldn’t hesitate to impose their will no matter the consequence to others. They have a hard time with the white Pickett fence lifestyle and often times find themselves craving the unknown, the unstable, the misfortune..they are drawn to it like mosquitoes to blood.

Sun in The Eighth House: Arch Angel Michael

Song: Tove lo- Passion& Pain Taste The same(Extended Version)

Sun in the Eighth house Natives are Emotionally adept, but noticeably scary in the sense that they always seem as if they are sizing you up, writing in pieces and parts of you personality so they themselves can further dig into you psyche in a way that prevents you from pulling the wool over their eyes. unlike Scorpio Suns these natives aren’t a walking ball of tension rather they exude a mysterious and rather deceptive energy as if they are a black mist eroding away at the walls silently beyond your sight. They are just as Black and White as Scorpio suns but more dangerous due to the fact that they see the grey area clearly and choose when they’d like to include it in their perceptive analysis. They can have a military like energy to them, seeming authoritative and closed, while also having a rather shady nature to them even if they are not personally out to get anything at all. Often times people around them perceive them in a rather untrustworthy light even if they are the most honest person in the world, the reason being the eighth house squaring the energy of the Sun, it creates a Leo meets Scorpio Dynamic that creates friction in the outside world but not the bedroom. Sex is where these natives feel they can truly glow and shine, where they can truly unwind and express their true nature. Often times sexual addiction or sexual obsession can become apparent if the natives listen to their lower vibrations. They often times see people in a way of value and have a hard time letting go of them due to the bountiful potential they see in them. to these natives everyone on this earth has meaning no matter how small and that makes them irreplaceable. They often struggle with the idea of growing up Vs staying young. They often hold on to their youth, and even sometimes surround themselves by a younger audience as a means of ignoring father time who often forces them to confront the harsh realities of life. They often times battle with their mature side as it represents confronting their rigid more disillusioned side. they want to be optimistic but deep down they recognize the serious rather proud nature within themselves though they may try to shrug it off. They want their darkness to be excepted but simultaneously detest it as if it where a violent storm or pack of hounds set loose. despite this they have a rather intense nature but one that is more calm and mischievous then its Scorpio sun counterpart. Much like Michael these natives are dutiful but ruthless, if it gets them what they need they’ll execute it without issue no matter who is effected. They tend to follow orders and expect the same from others. they have an empress/emperor like energy which can at times seem intimidating and cold.

Sun In Sagittarius Vs Sun In The ninth House:

(Norse God Odin Vs Pantheon God Of Olympus Zeus)

Sun In Sagittarius: Norse God Odin

Song: Cinnamon Chasers - Speeder

These Natives do live up to their expansive Ruling planet, They at times are so high up in the sky that they forget there is a whole world around them. They are often distracted, Blunt, Mean, Cut throat, Philosophical and open minded whilst also somehow managing to be vibrant, Sincere and very hard lovers for those they hold dear. They can have trouble holding back their opinions and their ideas and once that mouth of their’s gets going it tends to be a real sucker punch. They adore adventure but tend to find adventure in their day to day life just as exciting. The traveling generalization is often true but for Sagittarius suns it’s not so much foreign cultures as it is experiencing something outside of their immediate normality. they can’t stand someone who doesn’t have any idea what they’re talking about and will dig your grave for you via words if you waste their time, every second is precious to a Sagittarius sun no matter how minor you may think it is. They are often very straightforward in their approach to all things which can be a good or bad thing depending on how strong willed you are to deal with such a strong force. They tend to live in their minds but unlike Gemini these thoughts and desires find their way into the real world which often time can lead them into some sketchy or bad situations due to how little thought or consideration went into the details of the thought itself. They are insanely willful folks and will fight anyone who intends on placing them into a set standard of expectations and rules. They are often creative and fair very well with bringing in their own unique spin to the things they create. certain emotions some of us spend years or days mulling over these natives typically pass through relatively swiftly. Nothing really is that serious to these natives, after-all in their eyes all that could be done has been done. They tend to have a rocky relationship with their emotional hemisphere and thats often where the underdeveloped lot of this sun sign seek out their flighty and or venomous tongue to defend themselves. they often are quite sensitive and loving but struggle to apply this as its a foreign concept to them. Their flightiness is also deeply rooted in their need to chase, to constantly be on the hunt for their divine pleasure. The masculine and feminine both fall prey to this. Similarly to Odin these natives are creative, expansive in their mentality, leaders, explorers and deeply intellectual beings bent on understanding the world and all within it too it’s fullest extent. Their greatest struggle tends to be between the Should i stay vs should i go dynamic. They are always leaving the people and things they have no business leaving behind yet sticking around for the nonsense that truly serves them no other purpose but sex, false validation or presenting a sort of illusion.

Sun In The Ninth House: Pantheon God Of Olympus Zeus

Song: Cinnamon Chasers -Luv Deluxe

For these natives the differences can be a little harder to tell, though if anything they stand out even more so than it would for a Sagittarius sun. These natives have a inspirational mind, Dexterous, and very good at micro-managing their own energies. They do suffer from a horrid resting bitch face and cannot hold their tongue when it comes to most things as they prefer to say exactly whats on their mind but this happens more unknowingly for them than it does for their sun sign counterpart. these natives share Zeus’s promiscuous nature, finding it relatively easy to move on from person to person due to the way they look at relationships being stepping stones that further them along to their perfect match. Not very often do these natives find themselves in one position for two long as they suffer from restlessness more than any fire sign or other fire house combined. to them The day is meant to be explored and often times these adventures are completely random as their desire to expand can come suddenly like a blast of cold air. They tend to also enjoy their fair share of tattoos, body augmentations, and hair dyes. Anything that allows them to heighten their experience which in many cases also includes drugs, as the natives love being able to awaken the parts of themselves unattainable during the day. They are partiers but also at times very studious. many are very dedicated to the idea of college while others drop out due to feeling they can find other ways to expand and create on their own. This native is often dualistic in the sense that they can pursue one path for some time and then completely fly off the rail and start a new path abruptly and this personality trait is something that continues as time goes on. They are very giving souls nonetheless and willingly sacrifice and support those they care about with ease be it paying for their food, letting them stay at their house or borrow their clothes. The thing is these natives are good at assessing the boundary and can very easily tell you to leave or that they want to be alone, because although they are kind they also still know their own personal needs matter just as much at the end of the day. They often inquire much about the emotional side of things because they often don’t understand the emotions of others nor what motivates their actions which is their greatest source of frustration. Their main struggle much like Zeus is Abundance Vs Accumulation. They often crowd on things for the sake of having it, but fail to find the the value or usefulness in the very things they are allowing into their life. They must learn to value the things around them otherwise it just ends up being a bunch of furniture with plastic wrap, unused and wasted. They are just as tenacious, gallant, charismatic and strong as Zeus but in hindsight they are just as rude, Oblivious and insatiable as him in their worst.

Sun In Capricorn Vs Sun In The Tenth House:

(Hades Vs Buddha)

Sun In Capricorn: Hades

song: Delilah- Touch me

If i could describe these natives in a sense i would say they are gifted with a great curse and a Mighty Blessing, and that would be their ability of seeing exactly the deeper nature of an individual without any actual spoken word. They are people readers plain and simple and a great many of them gorge themselves on their hobby of people watching. To them humanity is a big social project and one they are endlessly applying their vast many of skills in decoding. They have an inner earthiness to them that can energetically make them seem slower in their reactions but overly abundant in spirit when it comes to the more physical aspects of life. They have a very emotional relationship with success and money so often times they tend to neglect the other meats of life in favor of money which at times can leave them lonely in the midst of their success. They can have an intimidating aura, one that reaks of sadness and woe in the masculines or one that reaks of intensity and confidence in the feminines. The sun in Capricorn natives have a naturally polarizing emotional state, at times seeming calm, happy or at least passably content to more stoic, lost and emotionally unavailable the moment Saturn’s gloom sinks his teeth into them. they often times find themselves trapped in a current of weight, often times softer things like relaxation, vacations, and even moments of idle are very rarely enjoyed by these natives as often very deep within they feel intense guilt at the experience of any pleasure for too long. to these natives there is a constant nagging voice telling them to “move” and push ahead, the moment they stop the voice becomes a vicious void that can often times give these natives their well known devilish energy. These natives practice restraint subconsciously and often times limit themselves as a means of a deeper rooted paranoia that if they are truly at their best, truly free, everything will come undone. These natives have a life based upon hidden fears that have no real face but often times are tied to Saturn who nurtures the idea in them that things could go wrong at the drop of the hat and that letting ones guard down even for a moment can lead to a very painful lesson. They tend to be loving, and deeply sensitive souls but very hardly ever do they show this face. Masking and false advertising is their forte, pretending to be malicious, cool, aloof, and empty if often easier then showing their bubbly, talkative, and rather softly romantic and tender nature. Love can be a source of pain for them due to the fact that much like all who have Saturn in a prominent place, a lesson is always to be had. these natives tend to learn that love is something that is seldom on par with the level of dedication and patience they exhibit towards their own life, often times fueling their cynical view towards love as a whole. They love intently and with all of their soul, never leaving the side of their lovers but at the same time this love and loyalty comes after years upon years of work and foundation as these natives loathe intimacy or love that seems to flighty or ungrounded in it’s intent. they tend to be spiritual but this is something they grow more intune with the older they get. They tend to be caught in the struggle of maybe it'll be different this time vs already knowing the outcome. The harsh part for these natives is that they deep inside want to give people the benefit of the doubt, they want to be whimsical and naive but it is something to riddled with consequence which they already know and often times they are trapped in a tug of war of was i right to give up on this, to shut down, to close off, was i to harsh, was i to fast to do it? but often times the moment they ignore their intuition the pain is often a violent reminder that they should’ve listened to their gut. these natives much like hades understand the depth of their commitments and find dedicating themselves to things a rigor to be expected but one that is earned not just jumped into head first without proper caution. They live in the dark, ominous and heavy seated parts of life but because of them everything is in order, everything is collected and well placed as it should be.

Sun In The Tenth House: Buddha

Song: Delilah - Love you so

Sun In the Tenth housers are drastically different from their fourth house sun counterparts in the respect that where one is Pious, emotionally erratic and arrogant the other is cold, emotionally distanced and humble. These natives prefer quiet as opposed to a loud obnoxious display of the self. To them your work and actions should speak more for your character than some inflated actions or stories. They love intense encounters and often find themselves at the center of powerful people be it bad or good. they enjoy a certain level of unpredictability in thought rather than actually carried out in reality. if i could describe them i’d say they are the emotionally aware bad girl/boy. they enjoy the discretion of the social norm but also have a longing for more structure in their lives. for these natives people are only so interesting to them, once they figure them out the concept presented in getting to know the individual goes out the window. The only real intrigue to them is an ever changing situation, person or thing, anything with a predictable end is often a source of contempt for them. Emotionally they can run HOT like a supernova but then suddenly cool as if all the suns across multiple galaxies vanished into thin air leaving a stark, rigid cold. They tend to adore darkness in others only until this very darkness starts to lose it’s luster. a preference for being a savior for others is present but once again the back and forth nature of this placement and it’s obsession with the idea of disharmony yet simultaneously needing peace. they have a rather neutral perspective in life due to their fluctuating taste, and much like the Buddha they live by a strong law of what you give is what you get, what you do comes back to you and that for every action done, their is an effect waiting for it. Despite this these natives tend to be on the more mischievous side of things seeking a sort of imagined excitement that never ever seems to come. Romantically they are the type to fall hard but also the type to run from anything that is to emotionally saturated. they don’t care for love yet it always finds them anyways, the key with them is that they need it to be paced, anything rushed, anything impulsive or quickly proposed tends to push them deep in their hole. they love sensual affection and touch and often love to place their hands on everything and anything, to feel it in their palms, on their skin, in their hair...they eat up the environment like it were the sea making waves around them. Often times they can have a melancholic sense of humor and seem rather out of touch with their surroundings at times. They prefer loneliness as opposed to bad company and at times the bad company in their eyes is the entirety of human society. They can seem pretentious, Mean, and wildly judgmental with their sharp tongue but if you listen closely at times these natives speak truths you yourself know are true but are not ready to accept. i often call these natives fortune tellers as they speak in foreshadowing tones that allude to future happenings. They often struggle with the heart vs the head. at times they live so much in their mind that the longings of their heart feel like weird wire entanglements that they are not familiar with. They know their heart longs for things but their mind for the life of them can never really make sense of it, to them its all a bunch of gibberish but it often is why they always feel that internal and eternal missing in their lives, as if something should be there but never really is.

Sun In Aquarius Vs Sun In The Eleventh House:

(Goddess of Death Hela Vs Moon God Lilith)

Song: SHYGIRL - Freak

So today we speak on one of the most complex and virtually paradoxical sun signs to date, Aquarius suns. These natives are well deserving of their rather multi-layered face, often times seeming like a box with never ending compartments and staircases leading to new basements and by theory new worlds and realities. Often times their level of competency can fly between intellectually dualistic to emotionally dualistic. They can seem like they understand you and at times the depth of this understanding would surprise you despite their seemingly detached nature. Despite this more soft side of their ego make no mistake their god complex is sitting eerily close to the surface. Unlike Gemini suns, there is no second face in the water bearer rather their is only this continuous current that fluctuates between a heavy stream of a light stream and which stream you get depends solely on the level of intellectual enticement the Aquarius sun native can glimpse within you. There is an apparent darkness in these natives but it’s mainly due to their co-rulership of saturn dancing with the erratic demon uranus. These two planets complete each other but they also tug at one another strings in a rather violent and stormy like way, causing a strange ground up and sky to floor motion in these natives moods. One moment they can be rebellious, restless, goofy and rather unbothered and the next moment they can seem stoic, impersonal, detached and down right moody. they love proving others wrong but they also take a great pride in watching a stance someone has held so tightly in pride come crashing down once the sun in Aquarius native corrects them. they take great pride in their mental dexterity but at times can be overwhelmed by the constant and never ending current of thought. They have a tendency to come across as hardheaded and hellbent on their way being the right way as they often despite their airy nature are still intensely fixed. that being said they are deeply curious of society and the world around them, often taking time to learn and study the varying cultures and systems in the immediate environment as well as the environment as others. very many tend to find themselves drawn to humanitarian pursuits albeit a bit shy at first in many cases due to the fact that they themselves don’t always understand their pull to the collective. These natives tend to be loners contrary to belief and find it very difficult at times to cope with their occasional existential crisis as they often find that they don’t really relate or connect to the world or time frame they happen to be apart of. They at times like the idea of being misunderstood while other times they wish atleast one person could peer into their mind and document their beautiful and uniquely grafted mental space but that would be far to available for their liking. Making friends is something that seems like a powerful need for these natives and often times something they struggle with as they often find that they confuse friendship and romance. often projecting more romantic/relationship tendencies on their friendships and projecting more friendship/acquaintance tendencies on their romantic relationships. They do enjoy the idea of being in love or being emotionally connected to others but in a lot of ways they don’t really understand it as much as they’d want to. they tend to in a similar fashion as Hela deem themselves as higher beings who happen to be misunderstood. they view themselves as starving intellects who the world neglects in favor of stupidity and mental stagnancy, a stagnancy that the Aquarius suns believe they can rescue the world from if they listened to them.. Their greatest battle lay in the concept of wisdom vs Virtue. They see these things as separate ideologies, often presented as fallacies rather than something applicable, to them wisdom is unreliable due to the fact that simply knowing something or how it may pan out does not necessarily omit outside factors that alter this variable, and virtue in itself seems like something self assured, but in their eyes something self assured is also prone to change due to the unstable base it is presented upon. so they tend to struggle with letting themselves go to the unknown presented in spirituality, which is often the missing piece to their puzzle. Many of these natives tend to be bisexual, that being said any sign can be bisexual or gay, or so on, the case is that with Aquarius suns, they have such a deeply set ambiguous eternal self that can at times find that it relates more to the energy of others than it does the physical body, especially since for these natives sex and love are not hand in hand as much as mind and body are.

Sun In The Eleventh House: The Moon God Lilith

Song: SHYGIRL - Rude

These natives are very unique in the sense that dare i say this is the darkest position for the sun to be in. It creates a tug a war, between the sun and itself as nothing more than a cold white glow. They are charismatic and open, but closed and mysterious. on a hand they can seem welcoming and so entrancing in their approaches, seeming as if they adore the crowd but if you really see them they are intense, perplexed, to themselves and endlessly distrustful. A good word for them is willful and Loudly willful at that. They will not and cannot be moved without their own desire and often times the source of what moves them is unknown to them as well. a complicated requiem of pain swirls within them but the source often alludes them as it stems for a combination of things that have moved around like chess pieces in a chess game with no players in seat. They experience pain but they never claim it rather its seated somewhere and moved around again and again until it origin is blurry to the natives. Pompous at times with their beliefs they are well being, they have an obsessive nature with friendships often deeming them to hold seniority above most things, at times seeing them as extensions of their own ego. the less they understand amongst their friends the weaker they feel. loving them can be complicated as they are always evolving, changing and dying off ridding pieces of themselves as if they were spring cleaning their souls. They do deal with their darker sides mainly because unlike most of us these natives skeletons never really do go in the closet rather they stand loud and proud in the face of the native so they can face them. They tend to be sensitive but also adaptable so the sensitivity can seem elusive as they tend to firmly glue shut the smallest weakness in themselves the moment it is introduced. They value the feelings of others more then even their own at times but there is often a nice balance between their care for others and the care they have for themselves. They can seem unnerving and captivating as their energy tends to feel like a sultry, in control and rather sophisticated energy though they may not recognize it within themselves. They often times fly in and out of asexuality and this deals more with their emotional state if anything. they at times don’t connect to other people in the way we all do, they see the physical beyond it’s self which can at times cause complete disconnect during moments of intimacy or sex. They often battle the idea of am i complete vs am i incomplete. they never truly know if they have all the pieces aligned and much like Lilith they often times feel an innate need to find the truth, to rebel and quarrel until it all makes sense. they can seem nomadic and ruthless because of this due to the fact that they are willing to do whatever it takes to fuel their desire for self discovery. gender roles and social constraints bore them often times and this makes them feel tense and confined when they are in an overly oppressive or traditional environment

Sun In Pisces Vs Sun In The Twelfth House:

( The God Of Creation Brahma Vs Jesus Christ, Son Of God)

Sun In Pisces: The God Of Creation Brahma

Song :Sevdaliza - Dormant

Much Like A dark sea, with waves reaching the clouds and dancing with visible silent but reverberating shocks of light in the sky these natives present a wildly pretty, yet ominous duplicity within their soft and gooey disposition. They can seem rather intangible, yet despite their hard to grasp wetness they can see you, read you and be inside of you like water and dissipate like fog before your very eyes. They are insanely sensitive but unlike the other water signs they are also every other sun sign dressed as one. They have many traits, they carry the impulsive nature of Aries, the sensual and rather harmonious nature of Taurus, the duality and wit of Gemini, The soft and protective nurturing of Cancer, the Amorousness and rather playfully romantic nature of Leo, the Calculated, yet realistic side of Virgo though they fight it.., the Co-dependent yet charming nature of Libra, The emotional intensity and depth of Scorpio, The gun-ho, and rather Flighty nature of Sagittarius, the steady and rigid side of Capricorn, and the Eccentric and rather erratic momentum of Aquarius. thats what makes them so terrifying, they are all things but also nothing at all in theory, a Pisces sun is a reflection of you, their environment, they in theory have no one set manner of being. These natives have a way of seeming completely present, so totally engulfed in you but once reality catches up with them they can seemingly turn into smoke, vanishing into thin air as if they never truly felt anything to begin with. What happened? well Pisces suns are very dualistic in nature, one fish dives in recklessly and the other fish brings them both back to reality and slows things down. Pisces do not readily settle down nor do they readily make any commitments to others be it friends, lovers and even family. everything means more to a Pisces native so they often times need plenty of time to think of the many options, possibilities and outcomes even if they don’t have a clear idea of what they may look like. they tend to be heavily compassionate but can struggle with creating boundaries between their woes and the woes of others. at times they see pain as a shared experience rather than a mission to be experienced solely with the self. in masculines this energy is HARD to handle. it can cause them to get drowned in the Neptune pool, often times making them liars, unstable or emotionally unavailable. in the feminine energy they tend to handle it well though in both energy types the flighty rather slippery side of them is always present, they can seem like they are dodging you or running away but in reality they just shift in and out of feelings like changing currents. they are deeply spiritual and many tie themselves to the unknown as if they were birthed from it. They believe in a higher space, that all things flow in the direction they must with or without intervention. They fear evil in others and often try to save and rescue those who’ve lost their way but many learn overtime that saving is at times not different from enabling. Their biggest fight is flight vs confrontation. These natives much like the god Brahma Are capable of creating and putting together projects and parts of the world in ways that would make all the gods jealous. they have a hand for beauty and making things however they must in a beautifully designed manner...that being said they often shy away from people and things that are good for them due to their fear of themselves and others. deep down they fear the idea of being seen completely as it means all of those 12 faces must fade and the fish must truly present all the parts of itself and thats often when they try to swim away. They fear the concept of being totally seen, totally embraced in the same manner that they do others because then they would have to acknowledge their weakness, Love, receiving honest love scares them as to them the camera is finally on them.

Sun In The twelfth House: Jesus Christ, Son Of God

Song: Sevdaliza - wallflower

We now come to the last of the houses. These Natives have an abundance of mist that shrouds them, much like a cloak or a long blast of light from the heavens surrounding them in its glow. They don’t normally stand out, many times having a rather passive and calm demeanor, seeming polite but not overly open nor connected. Though upon further inspection one can clearly make out their rather attentive eye for human emotion and human desire. they can seemingly pin point the sorrow in others, the dreams, the level of comfort one seeks and once they have scoped it out they often adapt to the particular need in question. See for them it’s more about creating an air of easy peace and the best way to do that is complete neutrality via adaptability. They often times remove all the traits associated with their sun sign and wear a veil, dare is say they become a spitting image of Jesus christ, suddenly they are able to collectively calm the crowd with little to no effort besides a few well placed personality augmentations to fit everyone's individual levels of comfort. They radiate a sadness, a deep sadness that is often glossed over with a false happiness, a ominously passive good natured state of passivity as to not allude to the rather turbulent well of waves and storms going on behind the scenes. Sleeping and a constant state of tiredness often plagues these natives, their energy often always seems half full even if they got a days full of sleep. They never truly feel at 100% which can at times give off a irritable or tired vibe to them. They tend to handle stress well but at the same time they usually can only do one emotion at a time, meaning that much of their inner feelings get compartmentalized into manageable spaces as to not cause them any issue. they like love, but they don’t have boundaries necessary to differentiate being used from being loved. at times they can purposely seek out bad things for them in order to feel needed but in reality they are ensuring that they never really feel happy because deep down they feel it is their fate to take on someone else baggage. They tend to be terrified of good people, stable people, as they represent a missing aspect within themselves. they often push away the good ones in favor of the bad ones because ultimately choosing to be with someone who actually cares about them means they would have to learn to care about themselves which is often something they are not ready to do. Self love is the fear for these natives as it involves uncluttering their inner psyche which is already damaged beyond what they think they can even repair. The struggle here is often do i love me Vs should i even love me? they often times view self love as selfish and deem it as an unnecessary virtue but at the same time they view it as a needed acceptance. hating themselves and self punishment is an easy go to for them because it removes accountability but in the end it always comes back and leaves a wave of carnage in it’s wake. much like Jesus these natives are sacrificing, enduring and deeply of strong faith in humanity but.. humanity always makes endless wounds, and scars in these natives..as they often get to see the worst sides of human nature as they grow mistaking their numbness for compassion. In reality they are kind and loving but this is often a defense mechanism rather than a state of just being.

Hope you guys enjoy!

#mine #sun in the houses

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prettywordsyouleft · 4 years ago

Text

Forsaken | Part 15 (Final)

Summary: As one of the Forsaken, Jinyoung had no right to covet anything as his own. When he stumbles across you standing in the middle of the village he had plundered, the memories of old make him risk it all, clutching at the past in hopes for a better future.

Pairing: Park Jinyoung x reader

Genre: warrior au / star crossed lovers / angst / romance

Warnings: death, kidnapping, cursing, a myriad of emotions - this is a really sad love story.

Index: Prologue | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15

Lying upon the cart, you wished to be dead. It was ironic that in the beginning, this very cart had transported you into this world as Jinyoung’s treasure. Now, he laid beside you, unmoving. Fresh tears soaked through his shirt, your head strewn across his chest, hoping for a glimpse of his heartbeat.

Tired eyes lingered at the body next to him and you reached out for Jackson, shaking as the wound continued to stain through any bandaging Jaebum had done. You wondered if Jackson’s body would ever dry up.

Jinyoung’s only seemed to maintain what blood he had due to the sword still embedded in him.

The remaining fight had ended once Argo was dead, his men looking between each other for guidance.

“Should we kill who remains?”

“Let’s say they’re all dead, they might as well be,” another decided, backing off and holding his hands up in surrender. They soon departed the battle site, leaving behind their fallen leader and men, and you to mourn your losses.

“Don’t remove the sword from him,” Jaebum said in all but a whisper, cutting Argo’s limb away and freeing him from the hunter.

You had been numb to the whole procedure, unable to help the three men pick up what you still had, merely stumbling along with Jinyoung’s body as they carried it to the cart now attached to Jinyoung’s horse. You had silently climbed up then, curling up beside Jinyoung and had laid there ever since.

You wished for something or someone to rid you of the excruciating pain that burdened your heart and mind. Flashes of your life shared with Jinyoung played out one by one, tormenting you further.

You already longed to see him smile again.

Eventually, you grew aware that you were no longer on land. The sea breeze was brisk and the waves choppy. You ignored all offers from the others to eat, and you lost count of how many times the sun rose and set.

You pleaded for an emptiness to overwhelm you instead of the constant memories, the ghost of Jinyoung’s lips upon your skin.

It was bittersweet when the cart finally stopped moving. You had no energy to get yourself down, Mark scooping you up and carrying you inside a small cabin.

You hated how much you relished the comfort of a bed, and the warmth of a blanket, soon drifting off into a dreamless state.

“It’s time to get up now,” Youngjae called when he finally found you awake, offering you food.

“I don’t want to eat.”

“Tough, I will force you if I have to,” he retorted, coming over to your side and holding up the spoon to some porridge. You glared at him yet he only shot one back. “How dare you not eat!”

You merely stared back at him.

“That’s what he would say, you know. He would scold you for being foolish.”

Tears slipped down your cheeks as you lowered your head. “He’s not here.”

“How do you know that? He’s always been in here,” Youngjae mentioned, reaching to touch your chest softly. “Can’t you hear him in your head telling you to get up and live on?”

“I’ve lived on without him once. I don’t want to do it again.”

“Have we held a funeral? No, now start eating or we’ll have to but for you!”

Glowering at Youngjae, you took the spoon from his grip and swallowed down a mouthful.

Your friend eased his stern expression. “There, that’s what you need to do.”

Days after awakening, you were pulling yourself up with the sun, helping Youngjae plant a vegetable garden and setting up your new home. You had no idea how you had acquired such a place but you were certain Jinyoung would have loved it here with you. It was a small farmstead, with two simple cabins. So far, you and Youngjae shared the one you had woken up in, whilst Mark and Jaebum set up in the other.

With Jackson and Jinyoung.

You hadn’t been brave enough to enter the place yet, unsure if you would be able to handle seeing his listless body again. You couldn’t seem to will yourself into death, no matter how much you had tried to. You missed Jinyoung and still cried yourself to sleep every night. Yet, you regained your strength, healing from your injuries well and soon felt back to usual self physically.

You wondered just how selfish a human could truly be to continue to survive in this world without the one person who you wanted to do everything with. You felt a coward, to still be breathing in the air that Jinyoung and Jackson should be doing as well. It bothered you when you stopped to think about it, which with your returning energy, you tried not to allow to happen often.

There was a lot to be done around the farm. Mark helped where he could, but it was Youngjae who you saw the most of each day.

Still, despite living, eating, and doing chores, you weren’t in connection with the world anymore. You hardly spoke, never smiled, and tried your best not to look too much at your remaining friends.

Each time your gaze lingered on their faces was enough to bring back the pain again, causing the air to be knocked out of your lungs and you struggled to breathe through.

“She’s having another panic attack!” Youngjae shrilled as you bent down in the garden bed, gripping at your chest with one hand and planting yourself in the soil with the other. You felt the wind brush passed you as Jaebum arrived at your side, trying to help you breathe properly again.

It was in these moments where you would see Jinyoung instead, his dark eyes etched with concern as his words of comfort fell into your hair, willing you to breathe for him again. You would watch him painfully, knowing he wasn’t there and yet your hopes would rise, all the same, your breathing returning. And then when you blinked after your ordeal, Jinyoung was no longer there, Jaebum sighing in relief that you were recovered instead.

He said it was part of the trauma you had faced with what happened that day. You wondered if that was why you started to see Jinyoung more often as well. Much as you had when living with your Grandmother, you started to talk to him as you did your chores, fond of the image of him helping you wash the vegetables you had fetched with Youngjae from the nearby village, or hanging out the washing and peeking around the corners at one another.

Even though you knew it was detrimental, you welcomed the visions.

Still, it was deep in the night where you realised just how alone you were. No image of Jinyoung could substitute the warmth of his arms that were lacking within this bed. You despised the night now, the moon and all the stars in the sky. They had lost their beauty the same time you lost the man who whispered sweet nothings upon them.

You willed for the sun to arrive quickly.

“Y/N, are you going to come in for breakfast?”

“I’m going to hang out the washing first!” you called back to a grinning Youngjae, the man looking at the cabin and then back at you.

You paid him no mind, picking up your laundered items to hang up and make the most of the drying sun. Reaching for a blanket, you struggled to hoist it over the line.

“Here, let me help you.”

“Jinyoung, don’t be silly, you’ve never hung out a single thing in your life.”

“There’s always time to learn, don’t you think?”

You smiled sadly. “It would have been nice to see you do laundry.”

“Let me try now.”

“It’s fine, I’ve got it,” you replied, blinking back your tears. You stretched up on the tips of your toes and hoisted it over the line, cursing Mark for having hung this section of the washing line too high for you to easily reach. Once the blanket fell over the line, you let out a triumphant huff of air and then spun to grab the next, losing your footing and ending up in the arms of a man you hadn’t seen in weeks.

Jinyoung smiled. “Always falling for me. It’s a bad habit of yours. How would you be able to cope in this world without me catching you each time?”

You merely blinked, trying to decipher if you had truly gone mad. His grip felt too real around your waist and there as an unmistakable level of warmth that had never once come from your hallucinations.

Shakily, you reached up for his face, gasping when you connected with his cheek. “You’re alive.”

“Well, I sure hope so. How could I leave this world whilst you’re still alive in it?”

“But you … you…”

“Later,” he murmured, his lips curling up into a delighted smile. “We can talk later. Right now, there’s something I need from you.”

“What is-”

You knew he was truly back when his lips pressed into yours, caressing you right down to your soul.

“You all tricked me!” you exclaimed later over dinner, even glaring at the pale Jackson who merely shook his head at you.

“Now don’t go adding me in this, I think I really died.”

“Then how are you sitting at this table with us? Are you a ghost?!” Jaebum huffed, looking at his hands and then held them up at him. “I worked tirelessly on you both! Don’t underestimate my efforts to bring you back from the brink of death, brother!”

Mark chuckled as he pulled off a piece of the fresh loaf of bread you had made. “In all fairness, we did try to tell you, Y/N. You just didn’t want to hear anything about either of them.”

“She’s someone who needs to see things with her own eyes to believe in them,” Jinyoung mentioned, chewing on his food before grinning at you. “It was more effective that she found me alive than you telling her I was recovering when you didn’t know how long that would have taken.”

“I’m right here, you know,” you grumbled and Jinyoung nodded.

“And she’s really impatient so Jaebum would have gone insane with her hanging over his shoulder looking for new signs of life.”

“Enough!” you exclaimed, slapping your hands down on the table. Looking at each man to see if they dared to talk, you then nodded. “Let me get this straight. You discussed a plan like this?”

“It wasn’t one we wanted to take but if anyone got gravely injured we needed to put them into another world to heal.”

“You all acted like they were dead to me!”

Jaebum nodded. “They were close to it. But I gave them both a tonic to keep them going until we got here so I could start the treatment properly. You weren’t functioning no matter how often we tried to bring you back to the present so you didn’t realise I had purposely slowed down their breathing.”

“I was mourning the loss of the love of my life.” You turned to glare at the evidently healthy man beside you. Jinyoung sheepishly shrugged at you. “Clearly, I wasted a lot of emotions on you.”

“I’m touched, really.”

“Did you cry for me?” Jackson wondered as you rolled your eyes, now looking at everyone around the table. “Anyone?”

“I did, don’t worry,” Youngjae offered hastily, which made the men all laugh.

“I’m still ridiculously confused!” you announced and stood up, storming off outside.

Jinyoung joined you a moment later, reaching for your shoulder and giving it a gentle squeeze. Glancing at the wounded arm that was strapped to his body in a sling, you grunted. “Will you be lame in that arm forever?”

“You did a good job with that sword, I doubt I’ll ever be able to fully regain strength to it.”

Your annoyance eased and you spun to look up at Jinyoung worriedly. “Really?”

“I’m grateful to have been blessed with a spare,” he mentioned cheekily, holding up his other arm. You hit it as he laughed heartily and you stopped to smile, listening to the bright sound. It was the first time he had truly laughed with so much ease.

“You’re different.”

“I feel like I’m the same.”

“No, you’ve never been like this,” you told him, stepping to his side and gazing up at him adoringly. “You’ve always been looking for the invisible threat. You’re relaxed right now.”

“I’ll let you in on a secret.” Jinyoung beckoned you closer. “Jaebum gave me a very strong pain relief this morning. It’s still working its way through me.”

“You’re being very playful, so it’s not just the medicine. You’re not the same Jinyoung I’ve ever known.”

“I played with you when we were children!”

“Well, yes, but I mean even then you carried a hardness in your eyes. You never showed your emotions easily. All day long you’ve been laughing, smiling, and sharing everything with those handsome eyes of yours.”

“Do you not like it?”

“No, I love it.”

“Good.” Jinyoung kissed the side of your head. “Because I don’t have to hide anymore. No one is looking for me.”

“You’re free.”

Jinyoung nodded happily. “We all are.”

You finally got your wish. Every day, you woke up in the warmth of Jinyoung’s arms, soft kisses starting the morning before going off to prepare breakfast together for everyone. After that, you did chores on the farm, now raising your own animals to further live off the land. You were also building a third cabin since word had reached you that BamBam and Yugyeom were alive and were on their way to join you all.

Each day was full of activity, though you didn’t mind working hard. There was constant laughter and the youth you had all been robbed of from the Rebellion returned through playful water fights and endless teasing. And when you found yourself growing tired from being the only woman on the farmstead, you would go into town to spend time with your friends you had made there. In turn, they visited your home, though you were certain it wasn’t just to see you.

You hadn’t realised just how charming the men you lived with were until you watched them in action.

Looking at Jaebum sweet-talking a cat he had found hungry in the neighbouring fields instead of talking to Bethie who was interested in him, however, showed you that some of them had a long way to go before they could fully be free from the shackles of their upbringing.

But each day brought them one step closer.

Falling onto your bed exhaustively later that evening, you groaned when Jinyoung climbed in beside you and gestured for you to move. “I’m too tired.”

“You need to get under the blankets, it’s the middle of winter.”

“You know that being pregnant makes me feel hotter than normal.”

“Still,” he said with a warning tone and you sighed, picking yourself up only to pull back the blankets.

By the time you were about to slip back into bed, Jinyoung had extended his arm out for you and was waiting. You smiled, though took your time gently nestling into his side.

Not for your sake, but for his.

“You always offer me up this arm to rest upon.”

“Well, considering we go to sleep on the same sides of the bed each night, how am I meant to give you the other?”

“I’ve offered to swap but you never accept,” you pointed out, glancing up at him. “Why?”

“You freed me with this arm,” Jinyoung mentioned, shifting his head so he could kiss your temples. You closed your eyes with sheer delight that tingled throughout you from his soft gesture. “You see it as something awful.”

“I would never wish to harm you.”

“I see it as you setting me free from the Rebellion. Having you lay upon it is my way of showing how grateful I am.”

“But it hurts you.”

“A small price to pay to still be here at your side,” he reminded and you nodded, lifting your head to kiss him.

“You followed me here to Nowhere.”

He grinned. “There’s no better place than to be nowhere with you.”

“We have quite the adventure to tell this child that I’m growing,” you said, rubbing at your slightly protruding belly. “What should we keep to ourselves?”

“How about we skip the ten years we were apart for.”

“Why? That’s the best bit!”

Jinyoung balked a little. “How is that the best part of our story?! The best was obviously when I kidnapped you.”

“And I hated you.”

“You could never hate me.”

“I hated you until I saw your face,” you corrected with a giggle and Jinyoung shook his head.

“We really have been through a lot. Maybe we need to think about how we share this tale with our offspring in the future.”

“I’ll write a book!”

“If you do that then it will be greatly exaggerated.”

“Says the man who wrote an entire love letter about comparing me to the moon and stars.”

Kissing you to silence your teasing remarks, you soon fell into a heady embrace, parting when you were certain your soul was about to burst out of your body and jump into his. You smiled and Jinyoung kissed you briefly before nodding. “However we tell it, let’s make sure we do it together.”

“Well, I don’t plan on going anywhere.”

“Anywhere might be nicer than nowhere,” he offered but before you could respond, Jinyoung was sizing up your lips again. “No matter where you go, I’ll follow you.”

“Of course, you’re mine.”

“Mm,” he hummed, a satisfied smile tugging his plump lips up. “I’m yours.”

_________________

Thank you for enjoying this series. There may be an Epilogue shared at a later date in 2020.

[GOT7 Masterlist] | [Main Masterlist] | [Request Guidelines]

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halfwaythereroyalwrites · 5 years ago

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Go To Sleep (The Mandalorian x Reader) - Kilig

Pairing: The Mandalorian x Reader

Warning: This can be read alone or as part of The Mandalorian’s Kilig series. Cursing. Soft moments with The Child and The Mandalorian.

Word count: 1,485 words

A/N: I am going to be posting my writing on this side blog rather than my main blog from now on. Mostly because I want it helps my mind keep organized. I’m very excited to keep expanding on the Kilig series. Let me know if you would like to be added to a taglist or have any requests.

****Here is a link to several organizations you can donate to in order to support the protests and the Black Lives Matter movement.

Kilig is a Tagalog word to describe the feeling of excitement and exhilaration and possibly embarrassment from anything remotely romantic.

Part 2 + Masterlist

_______________________________________________

The Child refused to sleep.

High-pitched wailing traveled throughout the Razor Crest. The crying reverberated off the metal walls, significantly amplifying both the sound and my deep desperation to calm The Child down. I had him in my arms, bouncing up and down rhythmically while trying to shush him to sleep. A combination of his tears, snot, and drool were seeping through my shirt whilst his green, little fists softly beat against my shoulder in protest.

“Please, please, please,” I pleaded. “Go to sleep.” Hot tears of frustration were pricking the back of my eyes. The Child has had trouble sleeping since Mando left to hunt a quarry down days ago. This behavior of leaving with little to no communication in between his departure and his arrival was not out of the ordinary. He would only ever briefly call in to check on The Child and me during his bounty hunting. Then he would go about his business in order to provide for all three of you. However, The Child grew increasingly aware of Din’s absence, leaving me to deal with the repercussions. I stopped rocking the child, setting him down on the floor. I unceremoniously laid down on my back next to him, in defeat, arms and legs flayed out. I closed my eyes and took a big breath before looking up to meet his wide, black eyes still shining and rimmed with tears. “What do you want me to do? He’s not gonna be back for a while.” I questioned exasperatedly. His large ears slowly flopped down — lips quivering — before his tiny head tilted upwards and let out a cry that increased in volume until it left my ears vibrating. I groaned and closed my eyes. I decided to take a moment to recollect myself before battling with The Child to get him to sleep. Breathe. Relax. I got this. Take in this quiet moment. Let the peace and silence take over…

Peace….silence…my eyes shot open in panic. I pushed myself up in alarm and looked all around me.

Shit. The Child was gone.

…Mando was going to kill me.

“Sweetie, I’m sorry! Please come out.” I hurriedly searched behind every crevice, panel, and under any surface of the Razor Crest’s lower level. I attempted to coax him out with promises of treats and games to no avail. My chest felt crushed under the panic of possibly losing The Child. My only job was to take care of him! The thought of Mando coming home to find that I lost The Child forced bile into my throat — worsening the panic running through my veins. I climbed the ladder to the upper level and entered the cockpit to my left. “Mini Mando? Please be in here.”

I received silence in return. I turned around to search the room opposite the cockpit until the sounds of soft cooing reached my ears. I turned back around and padded over to the control panel to find a small, green figure standing on it, playing with one of the control sticks. I plopped down into the pilot’s seat, leaning back to let the weight of panic leave my body. After a few minutes, The Child turned around to face me. His eyes were no longer rimmed with tears, but his features were still fraught with sadness. He slowly plopped down on the panel and let his head drop, sniffling. My heart broke for The Child who simply missed his father. I leaned forward and held out my finger for him to hold onto.

“He’s gonna be back before you know it, little one. You and I gotta be strong in the meantime.” He looked at me, ears moving up and down as if in understanding. He and I stayed like this for a while. The Child played with my fingers while my mind wandered to thoughts of Mando. The Mandalorian was not sociable by any means when we had met on Tatooine. I had been helping Peli Motto with repairing the highly damaged Razor Crest. I wasn’t as handy as Peli, but she called me and insisted she needed all the help she can get since Mando insisted on no droids. The Child and I had bonded while Peli worked tirelessly on correcting the damage accrued on the ship. Even Mando took notice when he returned to the hangar looking for Toro. Toro held The Child and I hostage when he attempted to double-cross Mando. This attempt didn’t end well for the aspiring bounty hunter who was quickly subdued by Mando with the help of Peli. As soon as the sparks died down, The Child waddled over to me for comfort.

Bearing in mind Peli Motto’s criticism of his childcare — or lack thereof — he invited me to be a part of his crew as The Child’s caretaker. That fateful day that was supposed to set me off on many adventures across the galaxy. Instead, most of my days were confined to the ship, making sure The Child is safe and fed, giving Mando some peace of mind while focusing on his job.

The Mandalorian. Mando. What can I say about the infuriating, beskar-clad Mandalorian who drove me insane? His imposing nature made me feel safe whenever we landed in sketchier planets, surrounded by outlaws and people who were more-than-curious why a Mandalorian was hanging around these parts. His armored figure often acted as a protective shield between me, The Child, and the rest of the world. What he gave me in protection and income should have made up for the lack of company. Should have. But I couldn’t shake the feeling of wanting to know The Mandalorian on a deeper level — past the small talk. Past the comfortable silences. Past the safety he provides despite the constant danger of the lives you lead.

It had only been a short time since I agreed to be part of his crew, but the comfort and ease I felt whenever I was with Mando was immediate. I needed to know why. Why did it feel right being here?

I was startled out of my train of thought by The Child leaning the weight of his upper body against my hand. He was quickly falling asleep where he sat on the control panel. His eyes were fluttering open and shut, fighting against the temptation of sleep. Watching his heavy-lidded eyes reminded my own body that I have been awake just as long as he has. I yawned and scooped up his small, pudgy body into my lap where he quickly fell asleep. I leaned back into the pilot’s seat and let the sleep wash over me.

I don’t know how long it was since The Child and I fell asleep, but it was long enough for me to miss the sound of the ship being boarded. I woke up to the hiss of the cockpit doors opening. My body immediately went rigid, adrenaline spiking through my veins at the thought of a possible intruder. I made a move to rise from the pilot’s seat to face the intruder when a gloved hand fell on my shoulder.

“It’s just me.” The sound of Mando’s firm, modulated voice flooded relief into my once-rigid body.

“Hi, Mando,” I yawned in greeting, closing my eyes once more and cuddling The Child closer to me. “So how was the hunting?”

“Good.”

“That’s good.” I was quickly falling asleep again, the fatigue of caring for a crying baby for endless hours anchoring me to the pilot’s seat. I felt his eyes gazing at the two of us: The Child softly snoring in my lap and me sleeping with my head leaning on my shoulder. There was a silence before I heard his heavy footsteps leave the cockpit, the doors hissing behind him. A few short moments later, I heard the doors open again and his heavy footsteps pad over to the pilot’s seat. I kept my eyes closed, wondering what he was going to do to eject us from his seat. Instead, I felt the weight of a blanket settle in my lap, covering The Child and my legs in the process. His blanket carried his familiar scent, and it took much of my willpower not to smile at the sweet gesture. He stared at us for a short time before leaving the cockpit, probably to work on the ship or buy supplies at the nearest marketplace. When the sounds of his footsteps softly faded away, my eyes fluttered open. I looked down at The Child who clutched onto my forearm, his body covered by the blanket Mando draped over the two of you. I rearranged the blanket to cover as much of my body as possible without covering The Child entirely. A tiny smile made its way to my face as I drifted off to sleep once more.

_______________________________________________

Part 2 + Masterlist

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thebirthbysleep · 4 years ago

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𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗻 - 𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝗺𝗲𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀.

the calling of the sea is like a chant, one which you respond to in your wake, one which sends you into a spiral of confusion yet curiosity. the calling of the sea sends you diving out of your bed sheets and towards your window where you yell to respond, the waves crashing and waving you in. the calling of the sea, as some pirates call it, is stronger than any siren’s song.

it was the calling of the sea that made her rise from her bed, tremble through the dark hallways where all the candles had gone out, and onto the deck she previously hated stepping into. and she would then fall forward, climbing up the steps to the edge, fingers wrapping around the railings.

under pale moonlight, din responded to the call with a mere tilt of the head, wondering if it was a voice she heard only in her head. maybe it was poseidon’s playful doing, a sea god who had messed with her many times and has never once shown any regret. knowing her fear of the ocean, she thought it could be a taunt until she noticed no harm came to her. no immediate harm, at least.

moments ago she was in her bed, sleeping. and yes, she’d slept for a century, yet somnia had coaxed her to accept this state of usual serenity and let the dreams come to her or leave her be, letting her rest and prepare for the new day that would come at the break of dawn.

and now she was outside whereas the others were most likely fast asleep, tucked on their warm blankets, dreaming gold or love or food. what was she doing out here, chasing after this voice that stopped calling for her after her ascent?

in the distance, however, din thought she caught the sight of a glint that couldn’t exist unless if there was land ahead. yet on this clear night, she saw no shadow of an undiscovered island, no lights of a port. only a faint, red glint, like stumbling across a ruby in a sea of gold.

what was it, a flicker of thunder from a storm in the distance? a god casting a spell on an unfortunate trespasser, or were they seriously heading into dangerous territory with absolutely no awareness to it? din stood there, gripping onto the edge, tied in between ignoring it or calling for help.

“ you found it. ”

“ jesus christ! ”.

din let out a startled yelp, taking a couple of steps back only to recognize the captain staring so curiously at her as if he hadn’t shaken every fiber of her being with his abrupt appearance. she held a hand over her chest, embarrassed for her reaction yet irritated for the lack of a warning. “ sorry, old habits die hard ”, he murmured and watched her as she moved back to the edge. “ but you found it. i was wondering if i was the only one who saw it. ”

“ found what? if you’re talking about that red glint, could just be lightning, maybe your uncle is mad-- ”.

theseus shook his head, “ --that’s ares’s star. the red star? usually it’s up in the sky yet given how far away it is, it looks to be on the horizon. it stands out for its color, obviously, but also for its oxymoronic meaning. ”

anything tied with ares is often bitter, mad, partially insane. the children of the war god were too violent for their own good and usually would cover the fields with blood if it meant getting what they wanted. it would be funny to think that this red star, whatever its meaning was, was pleasant, or something not war or pain related.

“ what? is there a romantic tone to seeing it? ”.

theseus might have blushed but din certainly didn’t see it, not in this darkness. “ n-not quite, it’s more of a celebratory symbol. it’s a sign of friendship and allegiance. apparently, soldiers used to see it and thought ares was blessing them before a battle. so they celebrated the night before they left ”, din listened, theseus was rather good at explaining things. he had the voice for it. “ i thought i could wake the crew for some rum but only if you’ll join us. ”

din narrowed her eyes, “ i’m not a party-person, captain. you should asking dionysus’s children. ”

“ i knew you would say that. but it wouldn’t feel like a celebration if there’s someone grumbling in the background. ”

“ you’re confusing me for daeva. ”

theseus’s laugh was music to her ears. a playful sea shanty, or perhaps a tale of a flirtatious bard who would capture the hearts of any heart-broken, curious listener. the nymph tried not to dwell on it too much but it was quite hard, given how pretty it was. a siren’s song, as rosé liked to call it. if din heard any more, she might start falling.

“ what are you two laughing about? ”.

din turned at rosé’s voice, trying not to wince when an arm went over her shoulder. she was welcomed by her sweet grin and the floral fragrance almost identical to her mother’s, a truly hypnotic scent that would drive witnesses wild. thankfully, din was unfazed, mind still lingering on her captain’s laugh. “ oh! red star! should i call marc for a quick song? ”, the girl asked.

“ and griffin for some rum. i’m quite in the mood of a party ”, theseus said and the two pirates split up to get things ready, whilst din remained a little lost on what to do, and so returned her attention to the red star ares had cursed her with tonight. ares, a man known for his brutality, didn’t really care for her too much, yet he knew just how to get on her nerves.

cursing me with music and rum, thought the nymph. you owe me one, old man.

a party soon formed in the main deck, din sat atop the quarterdeck with a curious glint in her eyes, pulsing like the red star that had fallen over them tonight. even somnia had risen from her room with a yawn, her eyes opening wide for the first time and smile appearing as the lute was plucked.

there were many instruments aboard the ship, from what could see. a lute, a lyre, a flute, a drum. all playing independently given the command of apollo’s particularly sunny son. marcato hasn’t looked this happy in a long time, he had even taken rosé by the hand and started dancing with the playful, rosy girl.

cheeks were red, lips were pink and hearts were singing songs which din hasn’t heard before. she watched and listened, sensing an unfamiliar sensation of a smile pricking at her own lips, a reflex reaction to seeing these young demi-gods dancing under a clear night sky, candles lit, instruments playing, and swings of dance and rum going all around.

sephtis, who had been quiet all night, suddenly rose from his seat on top of a gunpowder crater and caught the eyes of the nymph. she recognized that look instantly and started shaking her head. “ no, i’m not letting you sleep until you dance at least once ”, he said, walking over to the stairs of the quarterdeck. he was probably expecting din to hiss at him like a cat. “ din! ”.

“ i don’t dance, sephtis. i might actually step on your toes inste-- sephtis! ”.

he grasped her wrist and basically pulled her down from the quarterdeck onto the main one where spirits were higher and laughter never stopped. they danced and jumped and gleamed; bright heroes who didn’t care what tomorrow brought so long as they lived in this moment, where nothing was coming to harm them, where they were blessed by ares’s rare patience and celebrated luck and joy.

din was hauled into the bodies of dancers without a clue on how to join in until she squealed as rosé linked their arms and skipped, turning to the side and then skipping. a constant changing of arms and jumping, too much exercise for a slow creature like this nymph. “ come on, din! live a little! maybe you need a little rum to get that body of your moving! ”, the girl cheered, shaking the girl by the shoulders. “ loosen up, i won’t rest until you’re up and dancing. ”

she felt a pair of hands grasp her shoulders from behind. “ she’s right, you know. nymphs are supposed to all carefree and stuff. you should have at least one dancing bone in that body of yours ”, griffin stated, and din wanted to counter it with something deprecating.

until she realized how harmful that would be.

tonight, when the spirits were high and when everyone was moving and singing, gifted by ares and dionysus’s antics, she didn’t want to be spoiling the mood with her sour puss of a mouth. nobody she have to become a victim of her frequent misery.

perhaps the smiles and light emanating from these demi-gods caused her to stop and really think of her words. she noticed rosé look at her with concerned eyes. “ but if you’re tired, you could head down, i don’t mind. i thought it would just be nice with a nymph ”, she mumbled through a pout.

how on earth was din going to disapprove or dismiss that?

din didn’t get much time to think before someone was hooking arms with her again and pulling her into the dance and she found herself following. like a breeze breathing life back into a hot, desolate place, din moved along with music. music and nymphs were the best of friends back in the grotto, the grotto which she called home and couldn’t wait to return to.

at first, she skipped and spun with rosé again, complaining about the steps and laughing as she missed a couple of beats until her thoughts began to clear. it was no longer about getting it right, it became about whether she would feel that rush of happiness as she did it. and that sensation came with every step, body twirling and skipping and turning and clapping and spinning along with the music of pirates.

it was perhaps the most beautiful orchestra of all; the plucks of the instruments, the roaring laughter, the squeals of missed steps, the clinking of rum bottles, the clapping of hands. they danced as if the sea would engulf them tomorrow. din couldn’t tell you of the things she heard or saw, as it all came in a flash that rendered her too content to notice.

they would switch partners often, joining hands with a new dancer who would be just as excited to be united with you for a couple of joyful seconds. it was almost like being back home, holding and swinging with the hands of a fellow kin who couldn’t be happier in sharing these moments with you, in that grotto, with the waters and the leaves, with the music and the perfume of the flowers dancing with you.

at the end of a song, din caught somnia in her arms when the young woman missed just a step and tumbled forward. there was a roar of laughter, din beaming and rubbing the sleeping beauty’s back to ensure she was okay, continuing to hold her as she grounded herself through breathless chortles.

“ daeva, you haven’t gotten up to dance once yet ”, din said as she approached him. the others had sunk into a barrel of laughter whilst griffin was telling an engaging story. she stood beside the son of hades and hummed. “ i thought i was the sour puss. ”

“ i’m not in the mood. all of this makes me miserable, i prefer peace and quiet ”, he grunted through gritted teeth. the nymph blinked and took a few steps closer to him. before resting her elbow on his shoulder and peering down at his confused expression. “ what now? ”.

din smiled, “ one dance, prince of darkness, and then i’ll leave you alone. ”

“ over my dead body. ”

“ fun. your dad can bring you back and i’ll continue to ask. ”

daeva glared at her through the corner of his eyes and didn’t react as she flicked his chin and pulled back, taking a seat beside his miserable self to be of some company. she was just like him twenty minutes ago and through some encouragement, she was now having the time of her life. “ would you rather i told you a bedtime story? ”, she asked, resting her face in her hands.

“ i’d prefer it if you were quiet, i like you when you’re quiet. ”

din smirked, her tone taunting. “ you like me regardless, daeva. i think you’ll like me even more after you dance with me. ”

she held his gaze for a good minute, sticking her tongue out playfully and trying not to seem totally surprised when she saw a clue of what appeared to be a smile on his lips, a ghost of a smile. but she saw it, and she was going to give him so much hell, he wouldn’t hear the end of it.

but not tonight. she instead rose her gaze back up to the stars, looking for ares’s red spark but didn’t see it until she looked towards the pirates. they were gathered, laughing, cursing, enjoying their adventure. as if their attention wasn’t settled on gold. as if they weren’t going to encounter dangers tomorrow. as if they weren’t being chased by multiple navies at once.

the red star watched over them, din barely caught it but it was there, glinting, smiling at her or perhaps glaring. a reminder. that these nights don’t come all the time, and although she had just started to loosen up, she could not let it go and the party was not over. she would not rest when she still had millions of waking cells in her body to keep the fire burning.

someone stood upright beside her, she turned her head and came face-to-face with the magical eyes of hecate’s son. “ are you tired already, my lady? i thought you were just getting started ”, he teased.

“ i was. tried to get the little prince over there to budge but i can try another day ”, she giggled slightly, hearing daeva grumble behind her.

sephtis offered her a hand, “ then let’s dance again, pretty nymph. ”

din, with her gloved hand, grasped sephtis’s cold one eagerly. her eyes burned for another dance, her body aching for something exciting, something daring, something magical. the smile that caught up with her stretched from ear to ear as she looked at him and said, “ let’s. ”

under tonight’s red sky, red memories birthed. new memories. reminding din that she didn’t have to be the person she was, but she could be who she was now.

and she therefore decided, unfortunately, that she owed ares a lot.

#bonus chapter !

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charlatron · 6 years ago

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Attack & Release - A Dragon Age Story

I'm new here, so no making fun of me.

This was my first ever attempt at writing...so please be nice.

More Dragon Age fics can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Charlatron/pseuds/Charlatron

It had been an insufferably long day, the events of which had once again lead to an argument about the dangers of magic and, more specifically, those who wielded it. She cursed her own ludicrousness for even having asked Fenris to tag along in the first place.

Anders had begged for her help finding evidence of some Templar pricks so called plan to turn the entire circle tranquil. She had thought it was ridiculous, but Anders was her friend and was clearly distressed. Rather than refuse and let him go it alone, likely getting himself killed in the process, she agreed to assist. And knowing how dangerous going up against Templar's could be, she feared she would need her elven warrior friend.

After almost 3 years of friendship his attitude still perplexed her. He loudly voiced his disdain for magic at every given opportunity, yet he remained loyal to an apostate. He protected her in battle and even trusted her with his own life, yet he continually criticized her choices when it came to helping anyone gifted with magic, regardless of circumstance.

The mission had gone as well as could be expected. Admittedly, Anders going full blown Justice at the end somewhat clouded their success, but she had managed to rein him in before anything truly disastrous happened. They saved an innocent mage from Maker only knows what kind of depravity, and got rid of a few corrupt Templar's in the process. Why couldn't he see that what she was doing was a good thing? He was so bitter and twisted and the very thought of his near constant contemptuousness for mage's made her blood boil.

She stormed in to her rented room at The Hanged Man to retrieve the book she had been meaning to gift him. If she didn't do it now she never would, she wasn't sure how much more of his insulting crap she could take, plus she hoped the kind gesture would make him feel foolish for being so cruel. Unfortunately for her she hadn't realized he'd followed suit. She span around, book in hand, crashing in to him head first.

“Fuck!” She pinched her nose in response to the pain as he muttered various expletives in Tevine whilst rubbing his wounded chin.

She chastised herself internally as she tried to suppress that same arousal she felt each time she heard that gravelly voice speak in its mother tongue.

“What is it Fenris!?” She threw the book on to the bed, deciding the moment had definitely passed. “As much as I love our riveting debates, which by the way tend to leave me feeling just a little bit shitty about myself, I am really not in the mood right now”.

He stared at her in silence, an unfathomable expression on his face; which irked her tremendously. For all her skill she had never been able to read this man; the one person she so desperately desired to understand above all others.

“Seriously Fenris, you need to leave or I will not be held accountable for my actions.” She warned him with a sinister tone, the tiniest sparks of lightening escaping her finger tips.

She balled her hands in to fists at her sides, hoping he wouldn't notice her losing control, but it was too late. He began to glow a brilliant blue and she felt her window to the fade slam shut. The fucker had cut her off! She lifted a hand in front of her, examining her palm and the now distinct lack of electricity. A wave of hysteria threatened to overtake her as she tried desperately to conjure an element; fire, ice, anything, but to no avail.

She looked up in to his eyes, a pained expression on her face. When all she saw was the flicker of a smug smile, she lost what little control remained. She grabbed a throwing knife from the desk behind her, launching it directly at him. He moved just in time so that instead of piercing his chest it only grazed his upper arm. He still winced though, much to her delight.

She stood completely still, hypnotised by the glistening crimson slowly snaking its way down his arm, beading off his elbow and melodically dripping on to the floor. The cut was deep.

She felt a sudden surge of mana, which told her he had relinquished his hold on her connection to the fade, instantly restoring her sanity in the process. She had never intended to wound him, not really. In truth she knew she hadn't thrown the knife fast enough that he wouldn't be able to dodge it. Surely he knew that too, he knew how skilled she was.

“You're bleeding.” She pointed out, trying to break the tension as her temper calmed.

He continued to stare, silently brooding.

“Here let me heal y...” She lifted a hand to direct a torrent of healing energy towards him but he jumped out of the way as though she were launching a fire ball at him, loudly protesting.

“Andraste's cunt, Fenris!” She shouted in surprise before her expression settled to one of concern. She exhaled loudly, pinching the bridge of her nose between her thumb and index finger, utterly offended. “Do you really think so little of me?”

She was sincerely hurt. She was used to him berating her at every opportunity but, honestly, she'd convinced herself it was all flirtatious banter. Right now she couldn't be less convinced. She turned away from him and pointed a finger towards the door.

“Just leave.” She said weakly, trying not to cry.

With two quick strides he was standing directly in front of her. He seized her by the arm with enough force that it would undoubtedly leave a bruise. He effortlessly tugged her towards him, forcing her in to an angry kiss. Even with his harsh handling of her, his lips were exquisitely soft and supple. His tongue forced it's way between her lips to assault her own, the recent shot of rum still blanketing his mouth with a delightful spice, and she was powerless to resist. He smelled of sandalwood and juniper and the heat radiated from him like a rage demon.

She abruptly regained her senses and attempted to push him away, unsuccessfully at first, but when she managed to slap a hand across his face he finally surrendered his hold on her. She took a few steps back to put some much needed distance between them, eying him incredulously while touching her lip where he had just bitten her.

She didn't know which urge was stronger; the one telling her to stab him in the neck or the one telling her to stop over-thinking things and fuck him already.

They seemed to read the intent in each others eyes and bounded towards each other, lips once again locking in a vehement embrace. She bit his lower lip until she tasted blood. He grabbed a handful of hair yanking her head backwards to expose the pale flesh of her neck, which he immediately set-upon with his teeth. He nibbled on her earlobe briefly before returning his mouth to her neck, roughly biting and sucking; clearly intent on leaving a mark.

She tried to push him away again, coming to her senses, but he refused to let go. She tried to pound on his chest but he held her so tightly against him that she didn't have enough space to gain any momentum. She tried to wriggle free but all that did was make her aware of the rock hard length pressing against her hip.

“Let go of me!” She spat, venomously.

He aggressively pushed her away, causing her to stumble before crashing in to the hard wall behind her.

“Why?” She demanded “You hate everything I stand for.” It was a question as much as a statement.

He closed his eyes and exhaled, as though the very sight of her repulsed him. “I try.” Was all he offered in response, through gritted teeth.

She looked at his face, trying to read his expression in the hopes that she could understand what the hell was happening. Was he so hard up that he was actually resorting to knocking boots with a mage of all people? This man was insanely beautiful, though equally irksome, and could undoubtedly convince any woman in this place to drop their knickers with nothing more than a glance in their direction. It was only then that she realized she had never actually seen him so much as look at another woman, in all the years they had been fighting together. Not once.

“Fuck it.” She eventually resolved, striding back towards him.

He ferociously returned her kiss and with all his strength ripped open the front of her robes in a violent display of dominance; they were completely ruined. She tugged at his trousers impatiently, just about managing to loosen the fastenings. He tore her small cloths clean off and pushed down his trousers just enough to free his now painfully aching erection. He forced her back against the wall, continuing to kiss her with a demonic intent and drawing her leg up to rest on his hip. She was positively dripping from arousal.

He grasped his shaft, ready to guide himself in to her, and with one fluid motion plunged in to her up to the hilt. She cried out in ecstasy as his enormous length filled and stretched her in the most satisfyingly sadistic way. He stayed completely still, savouring the feel of her while trying to steady his breathing. The lack of movement drove her wild with hunger. He began to withdraw, agonizingly slowly, then slammed back into her eliciting another embarrassingly loud moan.

His body was pressed so tightly against her own, yet it still wasn't close enough. She wanted to sink her fingers in to the flesh of his back, to feel the texture of his exposed muscle beneath her fingertips. She longed for their two bodies to meld in to one salacious beast.

Desperately needing to be deeper inside of her, he lifted the leg which resting against his hip higher still, hooking his elbow under her knee. Through brute strength he managed to do the same with the other leg so that he was completely supporting her weight.

This new angle of penetration was so exquisitely tender that she almost called out for him to stop. Biting down painfully on her own lip. She dug her fingernails in to the back of his neck with one hand, the other desperately clinging to his shoulder. She let out a primal moan with each withdrawal and intrusion.

He gripped on to the door frame to steady his hold on her, pinning her tightly between his own body and the cold wall. He breached her core over and over, harder each time. The obscene sound of slapping flesh reverberating off the walls.

Fearing an early end he urgently demanded she bite him to distract him from his fast approaching release, though this actually had the opposite effect. His ear being the closest thing to her mouth, she clamped down on the tip, causing him to pound in to her so hard that she was sure she'd be walking funny tomorrow.

As amazing as this was, she wasn't sure how much longer she would be able to endure this delectable agony. She tightened her muscles around his shaft, causing him to growl like a wild animal. He stayed pressed deep inside of her while she ground her hips against him as well as she could manage in this precarious position, rubbing herself against his pubic bone and quickly bringing herself to climax.

As she began to cry out, her head lolling backwards, he pulled out almost completely only to dart back in to her roughly, drawing out her loud orgasm. She remained clenched around him as his thrusts became erratic and desperate, until finally he reached his own end. He held her in place as he spilled his essence in to her, panting into the side of her neck.

Just as she began to regain her faculties, he slowly released her one leg at a time, but stayed tightly pressed against her. She was glad for the support, as she wasn't entirely sure her knees would be able to hold her weight just yet.

Taking advantage of his now free hands, he lazily explored her body. He gently swept his hands over her bare back underneath her torn robe, now slick with a pleasant perspiration, before bringing them to rest on her round hips. She lightly caressed the tip of his exposed ear, sending an obvious shiver down his spine.

Their breathing was almost back to normal now and she became aware of him inhaling her scent, his now damp forehead leaning against the curve of her neck where it had remained throughout this encounter.

Finally he stepped back a fraction, hissing quietly as he freed his slowly softening member and revealed his bewitching emerald eyes. There was no hate there, no repulsion, no disgust. Only a look that mirrored her own: Who are you?

He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her passionately, then pulled up his trousers and hastily exited the room, leaving her alone and confused in a ruined robe.

#dragon age smut #my first smut #my first fanfic #dragon age fanfic #broody fenris #dom fenris #wall sex #love/hate relationship #fenris x femhawke #fenris smut #hawke smut #mage hawke

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serenawitchwriter · 7 years ago

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The Super-Switch

(part 3)

being the most responsible member of the justice league was exhausting.

take today for instance, batman had thankfully stopped the potential catastrophe that was two insanely powerful individuals incapable of controlling their newly acquired powers charging into battle. superman and phantom switching places was hedging on disaster even now, because despite the quality of their character, they both were powerful enough to destroy the world, especially if a fight between them were to escalate too far.

batman, ever cautious has been putting counter measures for the possibility in place for years and honestly he was grateful that he wouldn’t have to use them yet. both heroes were be cooperative and despite some sharp barbs at each other and general frustration at the circumstance, they weren’t attacking each other.

however, that did not make the situation any easier. batman would always be thankful that things haven’t reached the worst case scenario but that didn’t change the fact that bad is bad.

they had returned to the space station and the secure training facility within it. they had started to lay the ground works of a plan and were meanwhile getting phantom and superman to adapt to their current bodies.

the plan was simple enough. the flash, wonder woman, hawk man, and hawk woman would be pursuing the ghost that had performed the switch. batman had already acquired a military stock of fenton technology so they were well armed and phantoms profile on the ghost was impressively detailed. though there was some humor to be found in the caps lettered “DON’T MAKE WISHES OR SAY THE WORDS I WANT OR I WISH IN HER PRESENCE OR AT ALL!” the warning was reiterated several times throughout the profile and clarified she’ll grant the wish even when you can’t see her.

phantom and superman were, for their part anxious about leaving the hunting to others. phantom especially holding a sense of responsibility because ghost hunting is his department. superman was insisting his own involvement because a slight sense of guilt over making the wish. batman and several other members of the league had backed phantom up and chastised the hero for his loose phrasing an use of the taboo phrase. phantom wasn’t the only hero with a rule against wishing.

batman had made it perfectly clear that until they could control each others powers they were liabilities. a point that was emphasized when superman, in Danny's body, began to slip intangibly through the floor

which was how they got this point. training their deadly and highly destructive powers.

“look you just gotta feel solid. like continuously be aware that you can touch stuff.”

“that’s what i’m doing.”

“no, i mean you gotta keep that awareness. like...” phantom scrunched superman’s eyebrows together as searched for the right words. “it’s kinda like breathing, you know? most of the time you aren’t aware of your breathing you just let your lungs do their own thing. intangibility is a ghosts natural instinct/state, so to be solid you have to actively think about being solid, like when you’re suddenly aware of you own breathing and have to work to do it.”

“how can you cautiously be aware that you’re solid all the time,” the phantom double growled sounding frustrated. he was once again slipping through the floor and superman pulled him back up by the elbow.

“well, i’m not, exactly. eventually the solid-intangible switch just became a sort of muscle memory thing. most of the time awareness of my solidness is just floating somewhere in the back or my mind, just always running. letting go of the awareness to become intangible is actually weird because like you have to like let go of that awareness. it kinda sucks, because I've gotten so used to being tangible that i sometimes completely forget to turn intangible when i actually need to. it’s kind of confusing.”

“i agree.” superman glaring tiredly up at his own face. it was fascinating to watch the differences in expressions. watching superman’s body act like an earnest but typical teenager was rather cute. phantom sarcasm and sharp smirks looking out of place dangerous on the normally kind or brooding face of the alien but he brought an energy and expressiveness that superman often lacked. he talked with his hands and showed off his small ticks. seeing ‘superman’ nervously rub the back of his neck and tilt his head to the side with a shy smile, was a memory that batman would keep tucked away amidst his fondest memories.

meanwhile superman’s good posture and kind smile softened the ghosts image considerably. gone was the tricksters glint and in it’s place was a bright-eyed child. batman had never acknowledge how cynical phantom was in caparison to superman, but to see his face free of it was a startling revelation. phantom looked younger with superman controlling him. he moved with confidence and his neon green eyes sparkled with optimism. it was nice to see but carried with it slight disappointment that phantom himself couldn’t produce such a smile on his own.

“maybe it’s kind of like with your super strength?” phantom wondered. he was proving entirely more adaptive to superman's powers that superman was to his. he still proved to be clumsy when it came to the finer adjustments of strengths and applications, but he had mastered flying with the newly weighted body and powers like heat vision and psychokinesis were practically instinctive to him. the only real problem he had was focusing with superman’s enhanced hearing, providing a constant din and distraction. “like you have to be consciously aware of your movements and strength so you don’t accidentally destroy everything, right? well, treat it like that only instead of strength it’s how solid you are.”

“adjusting how lightly you touch something is completely different from being constantly aware of your own breathing.” superman griped irritably.

he was having a considerably harder time mastering phantom’s powers. they’d been working on tangibility on in off more the last couple hours because it was apparently the most important skill in terms of functioning normally. superman seemed to be slipping through the floor and dropping objects every other minute. and phantom almost seemed to be silently laughing even as he tried to help. it was quite clear that phantom had dealt with these problems in the past.

when they weren’t struggling with that, they were struggling with the other basic powers. like Danny, superman picked up flight rather easily. but manipulating ecto energy and all the powers that depended on drawing from his ghost core was escaping superman’s grasp. the way phantom described reaching for his core seemed rather meditative and simple to batman, but then again batman wasn’t the one with the powers so he wasn’t in the position to judge.

phantom refused to show superman his more powerful attacks, claiming, “if you can’t even make an ectoblast you wouldn’t be able to perform a ghostly wail. it’s not really something you can do accidentally. so as long as you don’t feel like your freezing to death you should be fine.”

it wasn’t the most comforting statement but batman preferred that they didn’t test those powers here anyway. there was no telling what a ghostly wail would do to the ship, especially because superman would have no control over it. they’d have to travel back to earth to do it and as late in the evening it was getting returning to earth that day for a non emergency seemed too exhausting.

speaking of which, “i think it’s about time for bed,” batman called to the heroes. phantom flinched and the sheepish look on ‘superman’s’ face, yet again, melted his cold black heart.

both were obviously exhausted so they didn’t argue about that, thou superman did mutter. “if i have to be thinking about solidness, what happens if i turn intangible in my sleep.”

“it’s easier not to go to bed tangible at all. just lie by the bed and float intangibly there. you’re less likely to move from there than if you turn intangible mid dream. if you do that i guarantee that you’ll fall through through the floor.”

“it was a rhetorical question.”

batman rubbed the bridge of his nose. this was going to be a long weekend

here’s hoping they’re back to normal tommorrow.

(part 1) (part 2)

#dpjl #Danny Phantom #justice league #superman #batman #body swap #hestiawrites

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harris-rahmat-blog · 7 years ago

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2017 : Roller Coaster Rides

“…. Why is today already December ? “

Well, I know you guys probably think the same way as pathetic as I am, maybe not that “ pathetic “ but just a confusion covered with worries. Aside the from excited feelings of having a long holiday, let’s take a second to recap this year and evaluate our goals this year — I can make sure, that every beginning of the year, some of you may write down everything that you want to achieve— because me too!

I promised at myself, a lot.. there are tons of things i want to achieved in this year, some of them are ticked out of the notes & some of them still hanging there waiting to be accomplished. The very first thing that i wrote back then is actually to lose weight which is not happening at all this year, I’m still weighed the same as last year, but i believe that i am getting taller right now haha. The second thing is to write everyday or at least as much as i can, yes this thing are ticked off from the list even though my latest entry on the diary is dated on November second. I skipped a lot of days because of my crazy schedules, i can’t write in a chaos state of mind. the third one is buy Less, buy better, & less fast fashion, it sounds kind of hard and cliché, who could resist good clothes with ‘cheap’ prices? but as i learn more deeper about behind the industry of fast fashion, their ethics, how they stole a lot of designs from designers or even a ‘small’ artist. I choose more clothes from local brands or any other ethical fashion label. Less clothes and less options surely saves your time. And my very last thing in the list which is the fourth is to grow and expand my passion, this last list is the highlight of my year, i actually writing this just for a sake of my own hobby, because later in the future i really wanted to pursue my passion to be my career, and money is not really my top list but God has different plans for me. Three months later after i wrote this ‘goal’, my very first big job is coming, then followed by the second and the rest.

For the first one, lets talk about self-care and self-love,

I don’t find this thing really important for me until i got my very first huge mental breakdown and heartbreaks. well, that sounds not so though you must be thinking, because i thought the same way too. This thing is seriously drained out my energy, days are seems so gloomy, out of motivations, and so exhausted because my mind and also my soul drowned under the mental-breakdown blanket. Each day i tried to puzzled my broken pieces of motivation, there is sometimes where your dreams that usually keeps you going didn’t help at all at this kind of state, until i realized that ‘ it’s surely okay to have a down moments, but i don’t want this problem to eat me alive ’. So i tried to focused on myself more than usual, I sorted out the things that made me down and things that made me going up. the very first thing i sorted is to ‘ dump that toxic friend out of your life ‘ this is the hardest (period), i’m that kind of persons that loves to have acquaintance with a lot of people, from there we can be partner or even close friends—but sometimes, some of them wants to know you just because they want to take advantage out of you, so do throw that one haha. next is ‘ do the things that comforts you, not only makes you happy ‘, it seems like there a thin line between those in terms of doing something, ‘comforts’ in here isn’t all about that ‘comfort zone’ but more like choosing things that makes peace with your inner self. in terms of jobs, lately i’m more selective than before, the bigger the amount of paycheck of course makes me happy, but i also have to keep in track with my sanity. If i think i couldn’t handle it, then i won’t accept it. and the last point in the list is to ‘ listen to your body more ‘, if i’m hungry then eat, if i’m tired then sleep or take some rest. as easy as that but hard to practice.

and then move on to ‘grow and expand my passion’ sections, and also how crazy & hectic to balanced your goals with the school tasks + grades.

Let's be honest, it’s so damn hard to manage the time between school works and job works, but time-management is the major key to nailed this. I’m currently freelancing as photographer and sometimes also as an illustrator & graphic designer. I’m still a ‘work-in-progress’ kind of person, I do everything that i love and eager to learn new things. Every month, there must be one to three jobs that i got averagely. Even though it’s not all a ‘big’ job, but that is totally fine, because what i enjoyed the most from the job that i got is the ‘thinking’ and ‘creative development’ process. The more I got the job it means i have a lot of space to practice — at the end, practice makes perfect!.

I studied at school from 6.30 AM to 3.00 PM ( school time in Indonesia is kinda insane ), followed by going course from 4 PM to & 7 PM, i did all of those things from Monday to Thursday, Friday are for hang-out, rest day, or meeting day with school clubs + stuffs. I do all of my works ( plus my homeworks ) starting from 8 to 11 PM, and lastly weekend are a battling day between rest day, shootings + meetings, and doing school stuffs. So that is how my days in a week goes by.

As you could see (or read), my schedules are pretty packed up, lack of sleep, and indeed for a hibernating, but those aren’t a blocking for me to dream more and work more. Sometimes i do feel tired and yes i do complain a lot too about how hard my life is, because we are all human at the end, but what makes me moving forward each day & pushed myself out of my limits is my ‘dream’, I am aware of my big dreams, and those couldn’t be reached without an effort. Slowly but sure, i will accomplished what i am writing down.

Starting this year, I built this new tumblr website with a little more sleek looks that the previous and also building my portfolio website both in wixsite & Instagram. I started to write and read more too, developing my sense & characteristics in photography and designing. Your efforts won’t back-stabbing the results.

Experience

In the very last day of June till July, I’m be able to step my feet out of this country and stayed in Australia for twelve days. The full journey is on here.

In October, i also got a chance to attend my very first fashion week ! ( another list from the goals ticked off ), I attend Jakarta Fashion Week 2018 for two days and it is surely awesome, a one of a kind experience, actually there’s still a long list of fashion week that i want to attend ( of course! ), but at least i already witnessed my eyes for being seen what an actual runaway looks like, because i usually watch it from youtube.

Support

Main thing other than plans and dreams are a strong support system, i thanked my family and my close friends for being the best people whenever i needed ( or maybe when we need each other to lean on ), I really cherish each and every of you.

* notes : I'm currently working on my book and RTW ( ready to wear ) line !

This year has been good to me yet still so far from perfection, there are a lot of flaws that should be fixed and improved next year. the hardest part of this year is to make peace with my own self, because when my mind are a constant battle ground between my expectation and reality— but all things going to be better soon. here are some of the things that i want to achieve on 2018, the list is written in proper paper unlike the 2017 wishlist that has been crumpled haha. Let's rock 2018!

#hrfthoughts hrfwishlists

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fortnitebattleroyalevbuckhack · 6 years ago

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Why Has 'Fortnite: Battle Royale' Gotten So Popular?

Until you have been surviving in a 1: 1 brick room the past few weeks, you know that Epic’s Fortnite: Battle Royale has taken over the world. The game has acquired players at an incredibly rapid pace, once an upstart rival to PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds, but now the student has become the master. Past that, more people are playing Fortnite than any other shooter on the market right now, from Call of Duty to CS: GO to Battlefield to Destiny. It’s an absolute monster.

But…why? Why this game? Why right now? How did this happen? I genuinely cannot think of another game that has blown up this quickly outside of 2016’s Pokémon GO, or perhaps PUBG itself in the early months. But Fortnite has taken things to a new level, and with an imminent mobile release, the sky’s the limit.

I do want to answer these questions however , as it’s important to try and make sense of how we got here. Why is Fortnite not just popular, but a world-eater the likes of which we haven’t seen in a long time? I think there are a number of reason that all combine into what Fortnite streamer/millionaire Ninja said to me in our interview yesterday, it’s just a “perfect storm. ”

The Storm:

Epic found itself in a unique position as it stood by and watched PUBG blow up before its eyes, using its own engine, Unreal. Fortnite had been developed as a build-focused defense game for a number of years (sources tell me the game has been in the works for almost a decade), but Epic’s flexibility allowed it to experiment with its own spin on a Battle Royale mode. Make a map full of destructible objects, use the shooting controls and building mechanics of the original Fortnite, and voila, you have your own BR title on the market just as the genre is really starting to heat up. This has upset PUBG to no end, but you can’t copyright a style, and Epic happened to be at the right place at the right time with the right engine to work with.

Get FREE V Buck -> Fortnite Battle Royale V-Buck Hack

It’s the greater visually attractive game

This might sound small, but I genuinely believe a huge part of Fortnite’s success is due to its cartoony, almost Pixar-ish aesthetic. Not really that PUBG is a terrible looking game, but it does blend in with a landscape of other realism-based shooters, where Fortnite plainly stands away. And because from the cartoony nature, Fortnite has already been able to go completely wacky with creative skin and even weapons like grenades that force you to dance in place. The aesthetic almost requires the gameplay, in a lot of ways, as the whole game relies around people quickly constructing systems and walls and ramps, which would appear absurd in any other name, however, not here.

The building aspect is something completely unique to the style

And the building aspect works, which is vital part of all of this. I can’t blame other shooters for not visualizing that building cover and high ground on the spot would be a core part of a fun gameplay experience, but Epic stumbled into something brilliant here because of what Fortnite was actually supposed to be, a building/defense title. It seems like this idea should have failed miserably, however the building really works, and for all PUBG’s issues about Fortnite BR duplicating them, the building aspect is something that really sets the two aside from one another.

Everybody else is miles behind

Beyond Fortnite and PUBG, no-one else even seems near to releasing a competitive Fight Royale game at this level, because no-one comprehended exactly how insanely popular this genre would become until some time ago. A few other titles may try to spin out BR modes as time goes on (I expect Call of Duty may try a smaller scale version of one this fall), but Fortnite has had months competing only with PUBG, which has helped both games grow rapidly. I’m hearing talk that powerhouses like Blizzard are “aware” of BR’s popularity and may be developing their own version, but how much time will Fortnite get to rule this roost? It seems poised to be the League of Legends of the BR genre, second to arrive, perhaps, but the ultimate champion able to take on all newcomers.

Epic using their own Unreal engine means more platforms, more patches, more improvements, more quickly

Part of the reason that Fortnite will be, and continues to become this type of success is due to the fact Epic is so damn fast when it comes to every aspect of the game’s advancement. Fortnite is not the most technically complex sport on earth to start with, but add the fact that Epic is working with their own engine, Unreal, and that results in incredible velocity in all areas. Fortnite got to consoles prior to PUBG, it’s getting to mobile before any present shooter, really. The game will be constantly patched and updated, where fixes and additions often take no more than a few days to make their way into a game, while Destiny 2 takes six months to fix a bugged quest icon. Epic’s speed is what’s helped drive Fortnite’s success, probably more than almost any other factor.

Twitch has anointed it king of the streaming mountain, and it’s fun to watch

Not that Twitch is the end-all, be-all of a game’s success, but it has been an immense popularity driver for Fortnite, both in terms of stream popularity, where the game has created all-time Twitch legends like Ninja (now earning almost $600, 000 a month from Twitch subscriptions alone), but also smartly doing deals with Twitch for Prime loot which got even more players playing and watching. I don’t watch many Twitch streams these days, as it’s just too time consuming, but even I’m getting sucked in to watching players far a lot more skilled than I perform Fortnite, as it’s a good absolute blast to view due to the amazing plays top-tier streamers are able in order to make. It’s a ideal streaming game, and that is helped it spread such as a virus the final couple months in specific.

It’s a shooter, yet not too violent with regard to younger players

Circling back again to the cartoony character of the game, it could be goofy, but it furthermore ensures that parents might have much less of a problem along with younger kids playing this. Yes, you’re shooting folks with weapons, but it is about as non-violent because a shooter can obtain, if that makes feeling, between the animation design, the absurdity (people within bear costumes hacking at astronauts with pickaxes) and a total lack of blood or gore. It’s why Fortnite has been embraced by a very young crowd similar to what we’ve seen with Overwatch, another shooter that somehow never feels very violent at all.

You can play any way, for any amount of time, and it’s accessible but with a high skill cap

Fortnite has something for everyone, for the most part. Matches are short and fast unless you’ve made it all the way to the very end, and it’s simple to drop within for a few when you want. The squad program lets you play single, having a friend, or along with a whole group, based on who’s around, and dating is an absolute air flow compared to most online games in the genre. It is also totally accessible in order to nearly every level of gamers. If you’re proficient at operating and hiding, you are able to most likely make it to the particular top 20 pretty very easily, a sense of achievement even when you’re not the killer. If you would like to be a Fortnite god, you can perform that too, and learning the map, building plus engagements is an extremely difficult prospect at the particular highest amount game. Yet every match feels…satisfying. In case you die immediately, a person can start over within an instant. In case you pass away in the middle, a person can feel great about at least outliving those first 20-40 suckers. If you die at the end, you might feel like you’re pretty damn good. The BR format is addicting and doesn’t drain you the way constant losses in other games do because you’re supposed to “lose” the vast majority of the time.

It’s free-to-play, and no one hates the microtransactions

And did I mention Fortnite is free? That may be the biggest reason for its popularity, as it’s a rare F2P title that doesn’t feel obnoxious when it asks you for money. Players can shell out $10 for a season-long battle pass that allows them to earn an enormous number of cosmetic items so long as they’re playing frequently. And if they can’t, they can purchase the items outright, simply no loot box randomization needed. A totally free game in this particular genre having a microtransaction program that doesn’t feel excessively greedy is really a rarity, plus outside of fun game play, this may be the particular biggest element in Fortnite’s achievement.

As you can observe I simply listed uh, 9 different, but important factors Fortnite is blowing upward such as this. It really will feel like an ideal surprise. If Epic dropped the particular ball in any one of these simple areas, or if the particular timing had been away in some other method, Fortnite might have been the flash in the skillet. Instead, this feels such as the following Pokémon GO. The particular next Minecraft, even. Plus it’s difficult to see exactly where the limit is for Fortnite, a game that seems like it’s just getting started.

#fortnite-battle-v-buck-hack #fortnite #fortnite battle royale #gaming #gamer #games #online games

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chemorygunko · 7 years ago

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The dread of facing your 3D work and money obligations

The 3D life that I lived in order to get me to my current spiritual evolution was - by human standards - a traumatic fucking train wreck.

In all honesty, there’s very little of the ‘bad’ stuff that hasn’t happened to me… I’ve been homeless, bankrupt, committed to a suicide and depression ward for six months, had two nearly successful suicide attempts, survived a pregnancy and had a child on my own, drove myself to hospital in labour, lost my home and all my assets, lost my business, lost the love of my life, been defrauded, been cheated, been catfished, been abandoned, been rejected, worked in the sex industry, been abused and raped, battled an eating disorder, had countless medical issues, including chronic diseases like epilepsy and like 30 operations as a child…. and that’s not even the tip of the iceberg, to be honest.

Most people can’t listen to my life story for very long - it was pretty damn traumatic to say the least.

But you know what scared me the most, for the longest period of time in my life? Working a 9 to 5 job in an office environment.

Without fail, almost every single day I walked into those environments, I hated it.

I used to feel the most horrible dread building up in me when I had to go into work in the morning - but I never linked it to my ongoing depression, need for medication, constantly getting ill, and my lack of will to live at all. Somehow that connection escaped me.

But, once I was partway into my dark night of the soul, and all that stuff had been forcibly taken away from me, I realized how much happier I was without all of that around me - and what unnecessary pressure that all placed on my life…. pressure that was causing ongoing depression and suicidal tendencies.

I was fat, I was unhealthy, I was unhappy - and I felt trapped. I felt like I had no choice but to participate, because money is survival. You need money to live.

Money is survival

When your alarm goes off at what feels like an ungodly hour - somehow always just short of ‘enough’ sleep - and you reach over to turn it off, you don’t quite properly go back to sleep, do you?

I remember, often, waking up, and in that pause of the snooze alarm, doing a full scan… is there anything ‘wrong enough’ with me for me to call in sick today? Because, immediately, what I could feel was that I didn’t feel like facing the working world again that day.

And then mental calculation of sick days used begins, and you wonder if you can swing it…. and if you’re up for dealing with the heavy disapproval that you know your boss will have when you do go back to work?

But, you get up and go in anyway on most days, because you have to - because money is how you stay alive, and if you don’t have money, you can’t pay your bills.

And even though you’re earning money, it never quite seems to be enough… so even though this job is paying the bills (mostly, hopefully), you still sit with constant money worries.

This fact alone - that you still can’t make ends meet always - is enough to make you resent going into work.

More, more, more

That isn’t the end of it though, because when you get to work, you have to perform. Really perform.

The job market is tight and there are number of people who are waiting to take your job from you, and so you can’t afford to give your boss any reasons to question your value. And so you perform and push yourself, finding the energy reserves somewhere.

And you have to compete with colleagues around you, making yourself stand out, reaching for that next level - because monthly costs are ever-increasing and salaries are not keeping pace, and so the only way to improve your lot is to advance in your career.

This is a pretty tall order when you’re not competitively minded, and when you’re used to benchmarking against yourself.

And so you work like a dog all week, probably at night and over weekends too, and in the moments in between, you collapse in exhaustion, grateful simply to pay the bills, and with no energy left to do anything other than be a couch potato and sleep.

You’re wearing a mask

As tired as you are though, when you get to work, you aim to perform - you push yourself.

And that’s not the only mask you wear…

I had a friend who used to say…. “The irony of life is that we have jobs we hate, to earn money to pay for a house we need to live near enough to work, a car we need to drive to and fro from from work, clothes we’d only ever wear at work, and items we’d only ever use for work.”

We do a job we don’t like, to make money we don’t need, to impress people we don’t get along with.

You wear clothes you wouldn’t choose to wear if it wasn’t required. And these clothing items are uncomfortable and hot, and cost a lot of money in many cases.

You have to hide ‘unacceptable' parts of your appearance… and can kiss a corporate job goodbye if you have anything alternate, like tattoos and piercings.

You have to hide the unacceptable human parts of you as well…. your emotions, your reactions, your feelings, your religion, your lifestyle… or at least the parts of it that are not secular or the norm.

You pretend to be subservient to people you do not truly respect, and you have to be polite and friendly to people you really don’t like.

You can’t be loud, noisy or distracting, or talk about anything that others would deem as shocking…. which is a tall order when you are as naturally shocking as many of us tend to be.

All spiritual types carry a a strong rebel archetype - it helps us to break the boundaries and seek new ways of being that are outside of the norm, to stand on our own and get the extreme experiences that will become our growth path.

But this rebel archetype makes us take risks and chances, go into edgy topics and ideas; places the world naturally deems ‘shocking’, are, in fact, home base for souls like us.

The target on our heads

This is what I would classify as one of the “you’re not going insane, this is really happening to you” set of messages. In fact, I’ve had clients cry with relief when they receive this next learning.

There’s a saying in dating…. you can’t fake chemistry. The truth is you can’t fake any emotion really, because we understand them energetically, we know what they ‘feel' like.

The reason we all have these common understandings of emotion, is because we’re all connected to the morphic field, which is like the internet of everything and all information, floating all around us. Our bodies are like digital devices that upload and download information (content) from this internet.

Two articles on the morphic field for you to read:

http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/the-morphic-or-holographic-field-explained-the-missing-information-link-you-ve-been-looking-for-to-tie-the-puzzle-together

http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/creation-or-evolution-the-spiritual-answer-how-it-all-works

So one of the other interesting energy dynamics that takes place in the field is that higher energies are recognized automatically - and many of us spiritual types, we tend to have dominant energies.

Basically dominant energy means you are higher on the Human Consciousness Scale - read more at http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/the-human-consciousness-scale

This recognition automatically puts a target on our heads - and it’s why you feel like everyone is competing with and trying to one-up you… they actually are.

LOL…. you’re not paranoid; they really are out to get you.

Ego is all about identity and hierarchy - superiority or inferiority.

Read more on ego at http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/a-simple-analogy-to-understand-ego-with-7ps-of-ego-questions

So ego seeks to establish identities in an environment into a hierarchical structure - comparing elements and saying these aspects are superior to those.

Because ego doesn’t look for balance however, when it feels threatened (inferior), it seeks to rectify this by making itself superior again - by making the other identity inferior.

So yes…. your seemingly-evil boss is really out to get you and make you feel small in many cases.

For me, this realized right at the end of my adventures in the corporate world, as I was sitting in a company brainstorm session the one day.

If you follow my writing and teaching, you’ll know that I’m an ideas person, and this has always been the case. In fact I’m an advertising anomaly in this regard - I will keep on generating ideas until you make me stop.

So, sitting in a meeting with me, if you ask a question, it’s kind of like typing an instruction into Google… I return search results - really quickly.

And as we were sitting in the meeting, and I was putting forward a few throw away ideas, my then-boss turned around and looked straight at me and said, quite brutally, “Do you think we don’t know how smart you are?”

I was taken aback at the time - and really hurt and offended. So I stayed quiet… but the question stayed with me for a while.

For one, these were my throw away ideas, before I’d put any real thought into it - and this made me very aware of how much I intimidated the boss in question.

To be honest, if he was that intimidated by the throw away stuff, then the answer is no - he doesn’t know how smart I am. I’d be too scared to put in the mental effort around him and show him.

This same person had the habit of hearing my ideas and presenting them as their own a few days later, as well as constantly shifting goalposts and then belittling me because they’d changed what they wanted - again.

And so I also started asking myself - why did they have me there? It wasn’t because they were happy with my work - everything I did, they managed to find fault somehow.

It clearly wasn’t for ideas, because the fastest way to piss everyone off seemed to be to have lots of good ideas. Unless of course those ideas were delivered privately and someone could present them as their own…. and then it hit me like a ton of bricks:

I was there to make everyone else look smart. By looking stupid and being one-upped.

I’m smart and organized and efficient - and you’re not going to doubt that when you meet me. And that puts a massive target on my head, because when other people can show themselves as smarter than me, then that must mean that they are automatically the smartest.

By knocking me down from my inherent and energetic position of superiority, they assumed the superior role.

So, I realised, my job was actually to give ideas that other people could say no to, so they could feel smarter for knowing better than me.

This was why I had to give ideas even though they would be rejected or presented as belonging to someone else… they needed to knock me down in order to feel superior.

They didn’t want the actual work from me, or my mind applied to it; they wanted to say no to whatever I presented because they ‘know better’ and can see what I did wrong.

But it’s great to have me there as a back up in case they need someone to blame for it going wrong. Or to have someone to actually save the day.

Same reason your boss wants to micromanage you… it’s about creating as many opportunities as possible to remind you that they are superior to you and know better.

At this point I realized that I could no longer deal with corporate and I bowed out permanently.

Speaking of corporate…

Every day you are traveling with people, and walking into environments, that are focused on consumerism and making money.

That is what business is - to sell, you need buyers, and sales generate profits.

Sales and money.

But your mind doesn’t quite work like that anymore does it? And each time you evolve and change, it gets harder and harder to buy into that world.

Your life is getting simpler, and your needs are less - but somehow your monthly expenses and the cost of living still seem ridiculous, don’t they?

You don’t know how to feel serious about deadlines and month end anymore, because your view of time is changing.

You don’t feel the urgency to be punctual and time driven anymore, and this is also down to your changing perspective of time.

Each time you surge, and the rebel archetype grows in you, you find yourself getting more and more frustrated with bureaucracy and petty rules and admin… and oh wow, is there ever a lot of admin involved in just about every aspect of life today!

And it’s not just your company, because chances are you are working in an office building, and near a shopping mall… which is where you can escape to on your time off and lunch breaks.

So you’re surrounded by consumerism and people whose sole focus is money, and at the same time you’re trying to simplify your life and become more non-attached.

You’re learning new understandings and perceptions of time, and you’re trying to force yourself to stick to deadlines and schedules and month end… and doesn’t it always feel like the next month end is around the corner? That the next load of bills is due?

And then you’re walking into an office building concentrated full of people who are feeling similar to you, and don’t want to be there either, which is dragging the energy down even more.

And that same environment is entirely artificial…. no open windows, fresh air or natural light in most cases. And you don’t get anywhere near enough sunlight.

And not only are you constantly sitting underneath electric lights (which messes with your crown chakra), you’re surrounded by electrical devices and EMF frequencies such as wifi and mobile networks.

All of this to (hopefully) pay your bills and make it to your next paycheck…. and you wonder why you feel depressed and that life isn’t worth living?

Or you wonder why you can’t seem to get excited and motivated about life?

Career and purpose… we’ve been sold a lie

This is one of the ugliest deceptions we face - that a career is a gift and that it can be your purpose.

"If you do what you love and it’s your purpose, then you will never work a day in your life.” What hogwash!

I do what I love - I live my spiritual journey and help other advanced souls. But it still feels like work - damn hard work at times.

The worst part of that pressure though? The monthly income required.

I noticed this when I first started my own business and was really responsible for my monthly income generation - month end always seemed to be coming up.

I remember saying, a few times in fact, that the only day I could rest was the afternoon of payday: the next day I was immediately back to start meeting the next month’s salary bill.

Because even if you don’t get “lucky enough” to find your career-purpose-passion, you still have to earn a monthly income… and that has become the main point of a job for everyone: monthly income.

It’s only about money and reward nowadays - and it has to be, because the costs just keep rising, exponentially.

There’s no time to think about anything else except meeting quotas and targets, making payroll, meeting expenses.

And when you spend so much mental time and energy focused on something so overwhelming, like survival and money, it becomes an all-pervading habit that seeps into every single area of your life.

So even when you do take the rare time off to rest and try and rejuvenate, you don’t seem to rest. Your inner voice and mental process are running rampant with the thoughts you’ve entrained into it, and you just can’t stop focusing on survival and money.

And since likability ensures your survival at a societal level (read more at http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/what-is-the-system ), you are constantly making yourself smaller, fitting into a smaller box, and shaving parts of yourself off to be more likable, to not rock the boat, to not cut off the steady supply of income you need to ensure your survival.

And you wonder why you’re unhappy with your life… why you’re depressed?

Money has become your all-consuming master, and it’s conflicting with the changes that are happening inside you.

The best advice I can give you? Surrender - do NOT resist this change.

Yes, there will be upheaval… you may quit your job on the spot - I did a few times. You may have to move somewhere smaller, take a less stressful job, or one closer to home.

You may have to adjust your lifestyle, send your kids to public school, forgo insurances, lose assets… but if that train has started rolling in your life, there’s very little you can do to stop it.

So surrender, because you are only going to cause yourself endless pain - and extend this period for way longer than it needs to be - if you resist it.

I can tell you that you will be grateful it’s all gone on the other side, but the transition will feel like hell at times.

Pain tells you where to look

These elements of life that are causing us unhappiness are there to tell us that there is a problem there.

Society taught us to “not make a fuss”, and to "stick our heads in the sand"… and now we feel compelled to do something about all this.

And this is where you’re most likely going to trip up and have change in this situation be forced onto you…. you’re just gonna get tired of shutting up, sitting down and maintaining the status quo.

As a consummate rebel and shitstirrer, I can tell you that it will feel scary in those moments, and you’re gonna make sudden and impulsive choices just because you are so gatvol (SA word for tired and just plain had enough, translates as “bum/hole full") of the stupid rules and willfully ignorant people.

It’s going to become harder and harder for you as you progress on your journey, to fit in, to care, to believe that any of this actually matters. Because the whole journey is about learning that NONE of this ‘reality' matters at all.

The world is changing and you are changing, and you’re experiencing these things because we’re seeing where the problems lie in the world and in society. It’s designed to bug us, so that we are motivated to change it and do something about it.

You’re growing exponentially at the moment, and in most cases the chasm between you and most people in the ordinary world is increasing daily - it’s harder and harder to understand them and how they choose to live.

This is why so many big souls becomes hermits and remove themselves from secular life.

You are feeling the contrast, conflict and cognitive dissonance of the changes that are happening inside you, and this discomfort with your career or job is about the urgency you feel to start making changes to create a different world.

It’s meant to bug us - otherwise we wouldn’t do anything to fix it.

The growth you experience is going to roll over into your life, and eventually your life will begin to look different. And you will want the ways it looks different.

Many of us are on ascetic paths - and that means eschewing the comforts and luxuries of the secular world, so it’s hard for us to care about money and building wealth and success - and the dark is fighting back by making money more and more important, with the hope that it eclipses anything else we would want to care and think about.

You are changing, and so your life will too.

These feelings you’re having serve only to show you the parts of your life that need attention and change.

It’s a changing world

For a job as big as this, it stands to reason that you’d want strong players on your team - and that happens to be us.

We volunteered for these roles, and we’ve been working our whole lives towards this.

So stuff is gonna annoy us so when we see where problems lie, and then we’ll start doing things to fix them.

This is how we’re gonna change the world.

This pain is just the symptom - it’s not the problem at all.

The pain serves only to make you question what we can do about this, and start finding ways that we can change this.

Focus on that - give up your right to complain about it.

Those moments of trial are tough to go through, but they also offer the greatest opportunity for you to see solutions to these problems.

If you give up your right to complain about it, to be offended, then you make mental space for those answers to arise where the complaints used to live.

WE are the transition team - and we’re here because we can do this.

Just remember NOT to take it personally LOL.

(Of course there’s an article for personalization, thought you’d never ask: http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/personalization-on-the-ego-journey )

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