#park jinyoung au

[prettywordsyouleft]

Every Damn Time

Pairing: Park Jinyoung x female reader

Genre: emotional angst-fluff

Tropes: established relationship

Warnings: mentioning of declining health of side character, main protagonist is expressing their fears over it.

Word count: 659

Author’s Note: I wrote this back in January, when this situation happened to calm myself down from the fright of it all. Naturally, this piece is a little personal.

Jinyoung barely had a moment to react, and yet he did so instinctively. Catching you before you knocked both of you to the ground, he went to laugh and asked why you were so greedy for his embrace, only to stop himself when he felt your body shudder.

Instantly, he was on red alert. “Y/N, what’s wrong?”

“Need you,” came out with a choked sob, and Jinyoung rearranged his hold on you.

He pulled you firmly against him, caging your shaking body so you felt protected and safe. And that was enough to unleash your emotions. It killed him to have no clue why you had entered his home and ran to him like this. He wanted to rage in your honour, ask who did this to you, uncover every little detail so he could put together a plan. So he could be the one to solve this and never let it make you break like this again.

But as he continued to hold you, rocking your body and letting out soothing noises, his mind came down from the height it had gone to.

Jinyoung had been working late yesterday and into the early hours of today, which wasn’t unusual for him, and he had almost sent you a message out of habit but realised the time was late. He remembered frowning when he had seen your last active time stamp to be after one am, yet he considered you probably had struggled to sleep and then fallen into slumber eventually.

But now he wasn’t so sure. What had kept you up so late into the night? He had his suspicions, and you finally confirmed them a moment later. “She fell.”

“How?”

“I’m not sure. I was in bed and woke to a loud bang. I thought it was one of the cats and went to check, but the TV had crashed into the wall and she was completely dazed,” you said quietly, not objecting when Jinyoung gently led you to the couch and pressed you down until you sat before he crouched down in front of you.

“She’s completely fine, well, a few bruises are going to come up, but I was just so scared. I keep having these moments where I get complacent with Mum’s illness and then she declines and something like this happens and I just—” Tears welled in your eyes and he reached forward to brush them aside, your watery gaze connecting with his. “It’s only going to get worse.”

“With time. Your mother has plenty of time still.”

“I feel like I’m going out of my mind. I could barely sleep worrying something would happen as she rested. I’ve made plans to move my things out to the study nook so I can be right there if she needs me. I’m going to have to monitor her closely. It all feels so overwhelming.”

“You should have rung me. I would have come over immediately. “

You sighed, nodding softly. “I wanted you there.”

“You needed me,” he corrected, and you nodded a second time.

“I always need you. I worry the strain I’m holding will end up breaking you when I lean on you.”

Slapping a shoulder, Jinyoung cracked a grin. “Why do you think I built these up?”

It delighted him when a small, exasperated smile curled up your lips. “You fool.”

“You need me at any time of the day or night, and you know I’ll be there.”

“Really?”

“What are boyfriends for if they can’t promise that?”

“To look pretty and carry heavy things?” You pretended to ponder, and Jinyoung tsked loudly before reaching for your hands, rubbing the coolness out of them.

“I don’t ever want to let you stress to the point of crashing into me like that again. But if it does happen, I’ll catch you, okay?”

“You’ll catch me?” you repeated, eyes wide with emotion.

His throat felt tight as he nodded. “Every damn time.”

_________________

All rights reserved © prettywordsyouleft

[GOT7 Masterlist] | [Main Masterlist]

[catcastielart]

[nixtape-foryou]

✿ SHOP IRISES

The iris has a strong association with intelligence and communication and symbolizes hope, wisdom, trust, and valor. The iris carries rich historical meanings as it is linked to nobility, especially in France and Italy, and was once a symbol of gratitude in Victorian times.

LIMITED STOCK - VENDORS NEEDED

Bouquets = Series | Stems = Oneshots | Seeds = Drabbles | In Shipment = Ongoing

STEMS

The Savage King by inyournightmares97 (17.0k)★�� || Royalty AU || The whispers heard through the grapevine say that King Jinyoung is a savage. But perhaps a man who is feared by all, still has many fears of his own.

[missgineaus]

but here's some got7 hp/hogwarts headcanons:

jaebum

gryffindor | 7th year prefect

best subject: care of magical creatures

looks like he should be attending durmstrang instead but is the softest for the first years actually

is only supposed to have one cat on hogwarts grounds but ahahahaha 😉

animals love jaebum ok they love him like unicorns just walk up to him and chew on his hair

jinyoung says that's why he's prematurely balding lol

"maybe" blew up his feather in his first transfiguration class lol

jinyoung

ravenclaw | 6th year prefect

best subject: arithmancy

whoever said ravenclaws were weak clearly never met jinyoung

some say if you take his™ study table in the library, you'll be fed to the merpeople in the lake

it's leviOsa not leviosA

one time jinyoung forgot his outer robe in ravenclaw tower and made everyone on the moving staircase trip cuz of his peach 🍑

probably has discussions on magical theory with professors

mark

hufflepuff | 7th year prefect

he’s a nice fuck boy ok lol

best subject: defense against the dark arts

is really cute and people mistake him for a 4th year often even though he's one of the oldest 7th years

can kick your ass in a duel (competitive af man)

no really so competitive that sparks will fly from his wand when he’s incensed

no one paid attention to him until he dyed his hair blonde once in 4th year and um wow yeah now everyone knows who he is lol

spins his wand in his hand like one spins a dagger and it's the hottest thing wtf

amazing with non verbal spell work -all his spells are probably non verbal actually

people hate that cuz they never know what he uses agains them in a duel and they lose

jackson

slytherin | 7th year head boy

best subject: charms -

In A Different Game

RICH IN MY A M B I T I O N

knows everybody, if you think jackson doesn't know you ❌wrong❌ he does

is really silly and is the first person to laugh at himself and is actually a really good head boy because he's not intimidating and the younger years feel safe and laugh around him

doesn't change the fact he's smart

people really forget he's smart even tho he's head boy it's a little ridiculous

both his parents are charmsmaters and he wants to be one too

can always find him in the kitchens eating organic -house elves love him ok

youngjae

gryffindor | 6th year

best subject: herbology

can sing plants into bloom

the only person the mandrakes probably don't scream at lol

holds tutoring sessions for herbology in one of the greenhouses wow he's so nice

bambam swears the stars shine on youngjae during astronomy class

will steal your treacle tart

literally right off your plate

is probably a really go0d beater even tho he’s not on the quidditch team

in the frog choir

made jaebum also join the frog choir haha

probably interns at the infirmary cuz he wants to a healer or at least going into healing herbology

has a tattoo of a plant but no one has ever seen the whole thing

bambam

gryffindor | 5th year

best subject: transfiguration

has quick fashion fixes using his transfiguration skills

has turned yugyeom into a frog at least once

yugyeom thought it was cool

jinyoung did not

one time he and mark sneaked out to get some snacks at hogsmeade and would have gotten caught by a professor patrolling the corridors if bambam didn't transfigure them into intricate tapestries

seriously the detail in his transfigurations are no joke

has a scrapbook of magical and non magical photos of him and his friends more heavily warded than the trunk with his designer clothes

professors really like him lol

yugyeom

ravenclaw | 5th year

best subject: potions

the one subject he's naturally better at than jinyoung but jinyoung will never admit this

tried to fight the giant squid

probably brewed amortentia and made people smell it and found out half the schools crushes

has a secret magical dandelion tattoo that changes colors

says every potion is EEEEEEASYYYY

probably actually likes the history of magic - like spews the most randomest facts at inconvenient times it’s so annoying lol

...and because im a markson ho i gotta include them is this au right haha here's some additional markson/gen js hcs!

markson

probably like the loudest couple theyre always yelling and laughing -theyre too cute tho so its hard telling them to shut up

jackson sometimes uses his headboy status to excuse his class tardiness and why he’s so out in the corridors late at night to walk mark to class and back to the hufflepuff common room

actually since hes head boy and has a room to himself, mark and the rest of their friends probably crash in jacksons room at least 3/7 days lol

actually now that we’re on jackson -everyone forgets he’s a slytherin cuz they think he’s too nice for his house

and he’s not fake nice he’s actually sincerely kind

but his drive and will to succeed at what he wants is unparalleled (PLAY JACKSON'S ENTIRE DISCOGRAPHY COME ON)

he sleeps the least out of his friends cuz hes always studying or practicing spell work or wand movements or reviewing notes

some of the first years think jackson a slytherin cuz his robes changed to a green color cuz he eats so much vegetables and drinks so much green tea LOL

original twitter thread | originally posted 18 feb 2019

[lokislytherin]

Chapters: 1/? Fandom: 외모지상주의 | Lookism Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Hong Jae Yeol | Jay/Park Hyung Suk | Daniel, Hong Jae Yeol | Jay & Park Hyung Suk | Daniel, Hong Jae Hye | Joy & Hong Jae Yeol | Jay, Hong Kyeongyeong | Steve & Hong Jae Yeol | Jay Characters: Hong Jae Yeol | Jay, Park Hyung Suk | Daniel, Hong Jae Hye | Joy, Hong Kyeongyeong | Steve Additional Tags: Crack Treated Seriously, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Hong Jae Yeol | Jay has Daddy Issues, Dad Hong Jae Yeol | Jay, Children, Family Dynamics, Family Feels, Falling In Love, Pining, Unrequited Love

Summary: during his search for the missing love of his life, hong jaeyeol finds a five year old version of park hyungseok. what else can he do but raise the child as his own?

[mumuyah]

fly with me, jinji au

"With your lights shining on you in sorrow

Will your colors fill this space?

Like a bird locked in a cage

It seemed like you were just waiting for me"

reposted from my twt (mumuyah)

jinji au

do not plagiarize

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

Jisoo was in the bathroom when she heard his muffled voice through the door. 

He was talking to someone—his mom, she assumed. She twisted the knob of the shower to make sense of their words but she only understood one word out of their conversation: her name. 

Jisoo heaved a deep breath before resuming her shower. Before she knew it, time passed. Her supposedly quick shower turned into thirty minutes.

Jinyoung's mom was gracious enough to lend her his old clothes. His white t-shirt was loose on her and his pants even more so; she had to roll and fold it a few times in the waist so it wouldn't fall. 

She took a peek before heading out the bathroom. The coast was clear. It was quiet in his family home. She wondered where he was. 

She padded softly from the threshold of the bathroom to his room. It was a short trip.

When she opened the door to his childhood bedroom, Jisoo was surprised to see him sitting on the floor next to his bed and looking intently at his phone. She didn't know why she was so shocked. He told her he was going to Jinhae after all. 

He's really here, she thought. She watched him silently and took note of the slight frown on his brows and his tired demeanor. He must be very, very tired. Dapat hindi ka na nag-inarte, Jisoo. You're tiring him out too.

Panic and fear surged from within her but she subdued it before it surfaced on her face when he finally noticed her. She mustered a small smile. 

"Hi."

"Hey," Jinyoung greeted, beckoning her over to his side. 

Jisoo sat gingerly next to him, his arm automatically coming around her while her head found a place on his shoulder. 

They didn't say anything for a while. She didn't know why. She had a lot to say last night but none of it escaped now. She didn't know where to start.

He had a lot of questions when he called but he only had one now. "Are you okay?"

She didn't answer. She didn't know the answer to his question. Well, she knew but she didn't want to bother him. The important thing was that he's here. With her. 

But why is he here with me? She wondered. 

But she squashed the thought before it consumed her. She focused on his breathing. The rhythmic movement of his body—his chest moving up and down—eventually pulled her to sleep. 

It was just past noon when she woke up.

Jinyoung was still asleep when she rose from the bed to pee. When she got back, he was awake, staring blankly ahead.

Jisoo stood by the closed door, her hand clutching the knob. Jinyoung still looked worn out even after sleeping. She worried her lip, feeling overwhelmed again. She shouldn't have gone to Jinhae. What the hell was she thinking?

I didn't think think this through. Why am I so selfish? She blinked rapidly, trying to disperse the tears away. She willed it away, like the way she wants to will herself away. Stop. Stop this, Kim Jisoo.

"Don't."

Her gaze snapped to Jinyoung. He had a fixed look on her. It made her look away.

"Come here." 

She obliged but she sat cautiously on the bed, far away from him. 

He came to her anyway. 

"What's wrong, hmm?"

She wasn't looking at him. She kept her eyes low, so her line of sight was at her hands on her lap. They were thin, calloused and dry. They said that having such hands indicated one worked hard. 

However, it didn't feel like that way to her. She's been working, sure, but she didn't know if anything good came to fruition to any of it. 

She had hands but they were useless. She might as well cut it from her body.

His hand reached out for hers but she was quick to hide it behind her. 

Her actions only troubled Jinyoung more. He inched closer to her, angling his head low so he can look at her face. "Hey, ano ba? Natatakot na ako sa'yo. Makikipagbreak ka na ba?"

"We should break up." She whispered. "I'm a waste of your time."

"What are you saying?" Jinyoung lifted her chin up so they can properly look at each other. "May nagawa ba ako?"

"No, it's not you. You're great. Always attentive and nice and you work so hard. I—" she swallowed. "I'm— I'm the problem. You deserve someone better. Someone who isn't a good-for-nothing."

He became silent. And then, "did something happen at work?" 

That did it for her. 

The tears she held back one by one dropped and then she couldn't stop anymore.

"Nothing's happening to me. I feel like I'm working and working and no matter how hard I'm working it's just useless. The shoot—" she drew her lips into line. She shouldn't complain about it. It's her work. He has nothing to do with it. He has his own drama to worry about. 

"Your drama?"

"It's hard. I don't know if I'm cut out for it. But I should be grateful that they gave me a chance to be in it, 'di ba? Na dapat mas galingan ko pa dahil doon. But at the back of my mind, I can't help but fee what's the use? lt's going to fail because of me. Because they decided to cast me. Why did they cast me in the first place? I'm inexperienced and untalented. Nagiging burden lang ako for them. It's going to be a disappointment because I'm a disappointment. Ang daming masasayang na pagod dahil sa akin.

"And I'm," she lowered her voice. She leaned into him for support because if she didn't then she might break completely. "I'm so tired. I don't know why I'm doing any of this. This life... It doesn't mean anything."

Jinyoung let her weep, engulfing her in his hug. The door creaked slightly open and he met his mother's eyes. She mouthed her concerns about Jisoo and Jinyoung only nodded. She left them shortly afterwards.

When Jisoo eventually calmed down, Jinyoung sat her upright, making sure she was looking at him when he started talking. 

"One, they hired you to be the lead because you auditoned for it and you passed. Among the thousands who stood before the director, the writer and whoever else is in that casting room—they chose you. That means something. That you have the talent and skills to carry it. You are inexperienced—yes, that much is true—but inexperience does not mean failure. 

Two, you do not carry the burden of success alone. Hindi lang ikaw ang gumagalaw sa set. There are other actors, the production team and many more working behind the scenes. Ikaw lang yung unang nakikita kasi ikaw ang haharap sa screen pero hindi ibig sabihin no'n ay ikaw ang may kasalanan kung bakit hindi ito magiging successful.

"But it will be successful. I know it. Because you're in it and I know you. You work hard; you've always had. It's just the nerves talking. Remember when we first emcee'd? You were nervous too. You thought you would make mistakes and yes, you did. But you became better at it because you didn't give up. You always try and you're diligent. Siguro ngayon, hindi mo pa nakikita yung fruits of labor mo. But you will. Someday.

"Three, nobody knows what they're doing." Jinyoung shrugged. "Hell, I don't know what I'm doing most of the time. If it makes sense or if it's worth it."

"You d-don't? But always seem so sure."

He scoffed. "Me? Nah. I pretend that I know shit pero wala talaga akong alam. That's what people do. They fake it and waddle on through life. I think that's how people actually achieve things. They suck it up until things ease up a bit before things get fucked up again."

"I hate that. Why do we have to suffer only to become happy? And why is happiness so short-lived? Why do we have to hurt again?"

"I don't know." He replied honestly. He placed a hand on her cheek, running his thumb over her skin. "I only know it will become more difficult in the future. It never gets easy for any of us. When things are too easy, life becomes stale. We don't look forward to anything more. In trying times, we hope and strive for reprieve. Maybe that's what we'll all get—a lick of relief—before things crumble down again. But at the very least, we've experienced it and we'll keep looking for the taste again and again and again."

"Lastly, Jisoo… if you get tired of trying and if things are too difficult for you to handle, know that I'm here for you." He patted her cheek lovingly. "You don't have to look for me somewhere else. I'm a call away."

"Meaning, don't go to Jinhae and make you travel all the way here?" Jisoo pursed her lips.

"Meaning, don't go to Jinhae and make me not want to go back to Seoul. I miss this place too much." Jinyoung looked at his surroundings. A place filled with the remnants of a time where he was always happy. His home.

When we look back in our past, why does it seem that we are the happiest when we are children? What do we have to do in order to bring that worry-free child version of ourselves into our adult life?

"Maybe we shouldn't go back." Jisoo said after a while.

Jinyoung had considered it before. Staying in Jinhae, remaining within the familiar. He sometimes still thinks about it. 

But things in the past will live in the past, no matter how much he tries to replicate it. The memories, the feelings—they will abide in the laws of time. 

"I would love to stay." Jinyoung answered honestly. "But I don't have the money to pay back production if I don't finish the drama. Sadly, hindi ako pinagpala ng Dior."

Jisoo made a face and he chuckled. "Do you want me to put in a good word for you? We have Maria Grazia Churri's contact info."

"Wow! Close." He joked.

"I did inspire her to make a whole collection." They both laughed at her haughty reply.

And then, "sorry. I made you travel all the way here. Sabi ko naman sa'yo babalik na lang ako ng Seoul." 

"It's fine. Na-miss ko rin luto ni mama. Come on. I think she made boiled pork belly for us." 

Jinyoung stood up, pulling Jisoo along with him. They stumbled on his tiny desk in the corner and knocked some of the books over. They stared at it guiltily before cracking up again. 

Jisoo didn't know why she found stacking up math and science work books funny. It was silly and light and so different from what she was feeling before. 

And then they heard his mom knock at his door, warning them that they better not be doing any funny business under her roof, and she shrieked in laughter more it made her stomach hurt.

But a good kind of hurt. The kind of hurt that she will remember for a long time. 

Jinyoung gazed at her fondly, curled in his childhood bed with her body still shaking in mirth… 

It's good to be home.

[sweetestofchaos]

Gang7 Ultimate Master List

Follow the Got7 gang as they learn to balance love, death and all the in between

𝖬𝖺𝗂𝗇 𝖯𝖺𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀: 𝖭𝗈𝗇𝖾 ~ 𝖱𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀: T

⇝ Masterlist

⇝ Profiles

𝖬𝖺𝗂𝗇 𝖯𝖺𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀: 𝖬𝖺𝗋𝗄 𝗑 𝖱𝖾𝗇𝖾𝖾 ~ 𝖱𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀: 𝖬

⇝ Masterlist

⇝ Profiles

⇝ Playlist

𝖬𝖺𝗂𝗇 𝖯𝖺𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀: 𝖸𝗎𝗀𝗒𝖾𝗈𝗆 𝗑 𝖠𝗌𝗁𝗂𝖺 ~ 𝖱𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀: 𝖬

⇝ Masterlist

⇝ Profiles

⇝ Moodboard

𝖬𝖺𝗂𝗇 𝖯𝖺𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀: 𝖩𝖺𝖼𝗄𝗌𝗈𝗇 𝗑 𝖳𝖺𝗆𝗂𝗄𝖺 ~ 𝖱𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀: 𝖬

⇝ Masterlist

⇝ Profiles

⇝ Moodboard

𝖬𝖺𝗂𝗇 𝖯𝖺𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀: 𝖩𝗂𝗇𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗇𝗀 𝗑 𝖫𝗂𝗌𝖺 ~ 𝖱𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀: 𝖬

⇝ Masterlist

⇝ Profiles

⇝ Moodboard

𝖬𝖺𝗂𝗇 𝖯𝖺𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀: 𝖡𝖺𝗆𝖻𝖺𝗆 𝗑 𝖠𝗋𝗒𝗇 ~ 𝖱𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀: 𝖬

⇝ Masterlist

⇝ Profiles

⇝ Moodboard

𝖬𝖺𝗂𝗇 𝖯𝖺𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀: 𝖸𝗈𝗎𝗇𝗀𝗃𝖺𝖾 𝗑 𝖫𝗈𝗋𝗂 ~ 𝖱𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀: 𝖬

⇝ Masterlist

⇝ Profiles

⇝ Moodboard

𝖬𝖺𝗂𝗇 𝖯𝖺𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀: 𝖩𝖺𝖾𝖻𝖾𝗈𝗆 𝗑 𝖫𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗌𝗁𝖺 ~ 𝖱𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀: 𝖬

⇝ Masterlist

⇝ Profiles

⇝ Moodboard

[fandomnovella-blog]

The Teacher's Pet: Kim Yugyeom

You were so stressed out this week you didn't know which way was left and which way was right. You were exhausted and your appearance was starting to mirror how you felt. You had gotten pale, and your hair was starting to get a little crazy. Your assignments were keeping you so busy you fell asleep on your math textbook and woke up with the page stuck to your face! But finally, you felt like you were on top of everything. Every assignment had been handed in and every piece of scrap paper put in its proper place so with puffy eyes and your clothes hanging off you, you entered your History class. By the looks of the other students, they seemed to be just as tired dishevelled and sleep deprived as you. It made you feel less alone. You were just nodding off when the door opened and in walked Kim Yugyeom.

A hush fell over the class. He stuck out like a sore thumb! The whole class looked a mess! Exam stress had ravaged you guys to next to nothing and here Yugyeom was, not a hair out of place! His clothes neatly fit his body and with a face that almost glowed with energy and brightness! It was like Exam week had taken all your energy and zapped him with it!

He was carrying what you supposed was Mr P's laptop and mug which was full of steaming hot cofee and he neatly placed it on the desk waiting for it's owner to arrive. The smell wafted to your nostrils and gave you a little more life. You then watched groggily as Yugyeom placed a card and box of chocolates on the desk and sat down waiting for Mr P to arrive!

Sure enough the formidable teacher strode into the classroom, greeted Yugyeom cordially and sat down at his desk, "Thank you Yugyeom for helping me bring my supplies to class! Oh, and what's this?” He gestured towards the Chocolates and card! “You're spoiling me!"

You saw from the corner of your eye that Yugyeom beamed, blushed a little and sat up a little straighter. Mr P then scanned the class "you all look a wreck! How are you supposed to learn anything! Prepare to hand in your reports today. I'm not extending the deadline so do not bother asking!"

You groaned internally. Typical Yugyeom behaviour! Always giving gifts to teachers to say "thank you for being awesome and helping us to grow into the amazing people we'll become" you snorted.

The only thing Mr P gave you was stress, a headache and more homework than you could handle! At least the report he had asked you to do had been finished. You looked in your bag for the folder containing your essay and your heart dropped. You didn't have it with you! It must have gotten mixed up while you were at home! Today was the last deadline and if you failed to hand it in you'd lose a whole semester grade!

You felt like you were in a living nightmare!

Maybe if you pinched yourself then you would wake up with your math textbook stuck to your face again! But no. This was reality. This was happening right now and your whole life flashed past you eyes! You moved your hand more frantically in your bag uselessly praying  that your assignment would be there. But you were met with air passing through your fingertips whenever you swiped through your bag! You couldn't lie, and Mr P would NEVER accept an excuse. There was nothing else to do but bite the bullet. Slowly you raised a trembling hand. Mr P's head looked up from his laptop.

"Yes Yugyeom what's the matter" he said beaming. Your heart was beating fast...did he say Yugyeom? Did he just confuse you with his favourite student?

"Sir I think you have us confused with the other class. Our assignments aren't due in until next week."

Mr P looked at Yugyeom "Are you sure? I have it clearly marked here" he said looking at his diary.

"Sir, I wouldn't lie, I specifically remember you saying that it would be due in next week."

You looked at him eyes wide with disbelief.

Kim Yugyeom THE KIM YUGYEOM lying?! To the teacher?! Now you definitely were dreaming! For a minute Mr P looked down again at his diary. You felt sure he wasn't going to believe it.

But then he lifted his head and said "Very well. I'lI make the deadline next week. It could be that with all the essays due in I've written the wrong date down. It doesn't take much! Exam season doesn’t just affect the students you know!" He chuckled. You let out a breath you didn't know you'd been holding. And you weren't alone. It seemed whole class sighed with relief with you. When the bell rang for break you walked quickly out of the classroom.

You couldn't believe you’d escaped detention and an F-grade in history!

"You're welcome!” someone said as they passed you “Next time if you need me to cover you just ask." You looked up and saw Yugyeom's shiny backpack.

"Huh," you said to yourself. Yugyeom clearly wasn’t as squeaky clean and pure as the teachers thought!

[star-suh]

Straight as A Line

Park Jinyoung x Male Reader

cw: homophobic top jinyoung, rough sex, dubious consent, hickeys, college au, swearing at each other, cheating, feminization, porn with a little of plot, a redemption arc for jinyoung lol… 

an: lmfaoooo that redemption arc happened when my music suddenly changed to lana del rey's songs changing the whole mood, i'm so sorry if this isn't what you wanted anon 😭🙏

this was a request.

—

the university where y/n was studying was planning a trip to go camping in the mountains. it was a dream trip for y/n, he could be close to nature and breathe that pure fresh air but all that sounded too nice to be true. 

"i don't know if i want to go on the trip, fuckass jinyoung is going and i don't feel like arguing with that son of a bitch" y/n tells his friend. 

jinyoung is one of those rich guys who have a lot of ass-lickers behind them, they do whatever he asks just for the money, also the guy is a fucking homophobe, when he found out that y/n is gay he started to make his life miserable. throwing slurs and swearing almost everyday towards the guy…

every student had an assigned seat “are we in school or something?” mocked jinyoung, his smile slowly fading seeing that he has to sit besides y/n “what the fuck? who put this pillow muncher beside me?” he yelled, “can you just shut the fuck up? you're not that important dude no one cares where you sit stop being a manchild” responded y/n making jinyoung's blood boil in anger.

“listen here, cocksucker. i don't want people like you near me you disgust me” he spat while signaling towards y/n with one finger. “stop signaling me you weirdo. you know that usually men who make fun of someone who is gay do it to cover up their homosexuality .. like why are you mad about me sucking a dick that's not so straight from you, jinyoung..” a grimace of laughter finding its way onto y/n's face while jinyoung's was red for the anger, y/n swear he can see the steam coming out of his ears.

jinyoung quietly accepted he lost this time and sat beside y/n ‘this is not going to stay like this’ he thought, crafting his revenge towards the guy.

it was night already, all the tents are ready and everyone is going inside them, y/n was getting ready to sleep in his sleeping bag when suddenly the zipper of his tent opens “what the fu-” a big hand covering his mouth to prevent him from making any noises. “hello motherfucker” jinyoung smiled “you thought i forgot what you said on the bus dirty whore? i think someone should teach you manners and how to be a nice obedient bitch, what do you think?”.

managing to get away from the strong grip of jinyoung's hand on his mouth y/n says “what the fuck are you talking about you fucking psycho, get out of my fucking tent before i start to scream”.

jinyoung's big veiny hand found its way towards y/n neck squeezing it hard “do it and what i'm gonna do next it's gonna be worse, you hear me?” scared by how menacing the words came out of his mouth y/n just nodded, “what do you want then, a public apology?. fucking asshole”.

“you see.. i was talking with my girlfriend and i got so horny-”, “and? do i look like some type of… friend to you? i don't wanna know shit about it” interrupted y/n. “anyways as i said” jinyoung continued “i'm so bricked that my dick is poking his way out of my shorts, so i was looking for a way to calm it but the rest of the bitches are sleeping and apparently you're the only one bitch awake so… i thought why not use this opportunity to help you be my obedient slut. after all you like cocks” he slapped gently y/n's cheeks. “fuck you” are the only words coming out of y/n's mouth…

“shh be quiet” whispered jinyoung while forcing his cock down y/n's throat, the gagging sounds making him more horny “you're so talented at cocksucking, truly a whore. you do it better than my girlfriend” he snickered while thrusting his thick cock. 

“never thought i would see you this fucked up” jinyoung was stroking his cock while y/n was laying down panting, trying to catch his breath, with spit and cum covering his face “talking about dirty whores when you can't keep that thing inside your pants. coming here like a needy bitch looking for a hole to fuck”.

jinyoung just stared at y/n with a smirk on his face “i'm not done with you slut, look at this” he pokes his rock hard cock making it bounce a little “i'm gonna wreck your boypussy. come here” his hand snaking around y/n's shorts and discarding them quickly, along with the underwear. “leave me alone whore” y/n tried to push jinyoung with his feet but the bastard was so strong… and sexy.

jinyoung spat on his fingers and rub it on y/n's rim the cold fluid sending shivers up his spine “hngh.. stop it manwhore…” the pleasure clouding his thinking. jinyoung slap his fuckmeat on the rim and slowly introduce it, drawing a loud moan grom y/n due to the stretching “shush be quiet. you don't want someone to find us right? or is that what you want? woah what a pervert” y/n just ignored the comment and sucked on jinyoung's fingers.

“is that all you got, fragile masculinity slut?. not gonna be surprised if your girlfriend kicks you, you suck at fucki-” a slap landed on y/n's cheek. “stop being a loud motherfucker and let me fuck your pussy” his anger being canalized into fucking y/n “i don't give a fuck if you like it or not” he growls “i’m only here to use you like you let other men do”.

“fuck i love the sight of your gaping pussy. after being passed around the whole university is still so tight… even more than my girlfriend's”. “can you stop mentioning her you asshole?. she deserves a better man than you” y/n says, accommodating himself to ride jinyoung “let's get this over with, i want you gone”.

everytime he goes down y/n makes sure to do it hard causing jinyoung to moan very loudly, “look who's the loud bitch now. you call yourself a man and can't even handle me”. jinyoung laughed quickly grabbing y/n by his ankles pulling them towards him folding y/n in the process, his dick going in and out. y/n squirmed, his eyes rolled back and mouth agape, feeling that cock reaching so deep inside him, no other cock has made him feel like that.

“what happened pillow muncher.. too much to handle?” he starts sucking hickeys in the back of y/n's neck. “i'm gonna breed this pussy and after this you're gonna be mine you hear me?” he whispered while flipping y/n a fuck him while he leans on his back “no… i don't belong to.. to anyone not even to a loser like you” the older just ignored it and continued looking for his pleasure.

“guess you're not that straight macho after all” y/n murmured drawing jinyoung's attention, “just because i'm stretching your boypussy and about to cream it right now doesn't make me a homo… i'm straight as a line..”. y/n with his hooded eyes make eye contact with the top, smiled and caressed his cheek “even the straightest line can be curved dumbass” he then kisses his forehead “c'mon cream this fucking pussy… isn't this what you want hurry up before someone wakes up” fucking himself in jinyoung's dick y/n also searched for his pleasure his cock splurting with cum minutes later landing on jinyoung's chest and abs, while that happened he squeezed so hard that jinyoung came without realizing it, emptying his balls in the insatiable hole of y/n. 

jinyoung tried to catch his breath resting his head on y/n's chest falling asleep, followed by y/n minutes later.

the ride back to university was surprisingly quiet, jinyoung didn't say a word about sitting next to y/n, everyone was surprised. one by one they got off the bus with jinyoung and y/n being the last, the tall one grabbed the shorter one by the hand so that he wouldn't come down yet. "i'm going to break up with my girlfriend... what i’m doing with her is not right." "wow, at least there's some empathy inside that empty skull" y/n responded. jinyoung just laughed looking at y/n with a fond smile "sigh... i'm so sorry for what i’ve put you through all these years... i know that's not going to change the damage i've already done but i want to start being a good person… wanna go eat lunch? it's on me".

surprised by the sudden change y/n wondered what happened with him last night “are you okay? did you eat something strange this morning?”. “no fucking asshole i just… i just wanted to change my behaviour… you know if the straightest line can be curved that means that we can change and it's never too late to do it” y/n just stared at him dumbfounded “are you being serious right now? are you philosophizing over a silly phrase i just made up…ugh fucking corny anyways is free food and i can't say no to that so text me where is it and see you there. i guess..” y/n was about to get off but turned around, stood up and pet jinyoung's head, a slight blush covering his cheeks. jinyoung just stood there watching y/n get off the bus with a smile slowly forming in his face.

[rrxnjun]

liebestraum [park jisung]

if anyone asked park jisung if he believed in ghosts, he would say yes– for he saw longing grow legs and follow him.

pairing: park jisung x fem! reader genre: summer break au. coming of age, slice of life, angst, fluff warnings: mentions of parents' divorce, swearing word count: 11k (11.190) playlist: liebestraum - franz liszt / the gold - phoebe bridgers / our summer - txt / could cry just thinking about you - troye sivan / burning love - elvis presley / if not for you - maneskin / we'll never have sex - leith ross / christmas kids - roar / raindrops (an angel cried) - ariana grande / ceilings - lizzy mcalpine / the loneliest - maneskin / about you - the 1975

a/n: this is mainly for you, liebestraum anon <3 thank you so much for being the most supportive friend, i really enjoy talking with you. hope the wait was worth it and hope the fic doesn't disappoint. i think that if it wasn't for you, this fic would never see the light of day HAHA

Laying on the floor of his aunt’s living room, listening to the vinyl his aunt popped into the record player just a few minutes prior to leaving the room to get some tea for the guests that are arriving soon, Park Jisung wishes for the ground to swallow him whole and for the ceiling to fall down and bury him in the deepest depths of this house. His head starts to spin as he dives in deeper to the music, the classical tunes almost making him overthink more than he has before. He wonders what would happen if he just left the room, left his aunt’s house and ran away so far no one could ever find him. 

He finds himself fantasizing about stuff like this a lot lately. Listening to classical music– because of course his aunt listens to music from the 19th century, she’s almost as old as the composers themselves– he wonders what came through the mind of the author of the song when he wrote such trivial melodies.

Laying on the floor of his aunt’s living room, listening to the vinyl his aunt popped into the player just a few minutes prior to leaving the room to get some tea for the guests that are arriving soon, Park Jisung drifts away to a soft slumber, deep enough to make him more tired, but light enough to wake him up when the doorbell rings and the obnoxious laughter of his dear aunt pierces through his ears.

His aunt wakes him up with a screech. Frankly, it hasn’t been that long since he’s fallen asleep and he truly doesn’t really know if it was his position on the floor that made her scream, or the fact that he’s embarrassing her in front of the guests by sleeping on the floor in the living room, but nonetheless, he’s quick to stand up and bow to the guests, trying hard to be respectful. 

His aunt nervously chews on the inside of her cheek. Her smile is a little too forced when she introduces all of them to him, but he tries hard to ignore the fact that she looks like an utter clown, pretending her house is a beautiful, welcoming shrine, because laughing out loud at her antics would surely do him no good. See, Jisung doesn't like to anger his aunt. It’s not that he doesn't enjoy the silent treatment she gives him, finally letting him breathe in the quiet– the feeling of suffocating escaping him for once in a while– but he simply just doesn’t enjoy it when she only glares at him and doesn’t speak more words than a single sentence announcing when the dinner’s ready. It only serves to make him feel more alienated.

“Jisung, these are my friends from university,” his aunt recites, sounding rehearsed, and he bets she acted out the scene in her head a thousand times before falling asleep last night, so it’s all perfect when the actual moment happens in real life, “their names are Jinyoung and Nayeon, they met in university and got married a few years later.”

He hums, scamming the adults from head to toe, noticing the neat way they present themselves. He wonders if this is how his parents looked to strangers when they used to visit their old friends. The truth is, they never looked as neat and as in tune with each other as this couple does in his eyes– but maybe he just wasn’t able to perceive them this way due to the image he made of their marriage when they were at home. 

Eyes traveling to the person behind them, the fringe falling to their forehead, he gets captivated by a mysterious look in their orbs, hands hidden in the pockets of their jacket. Jisung’s not too sure if his aunt caught him staring at the unintroduced guest– now, he will admit that he stared at the person, for they were a stranger to him and for no other reason– but he know for sure that they did, from how they squint their eyes at Jisung and offer him a teasing smile.

“Oh, and this is Y/N,” his aunt says, nudging the person closer to his nephew, as if to present a thing meant to solve all of his problems, “their child. They are staying for the summer, so I expect you two to hang out often, since you’re the same age and all!”

Looking at his aunt, a dead look mirroring his eyes, he hears the person– you– with a voice sweet but a little prickly, just like the smell of a Christmas tree his family used to have in their living room during December, ask a question that is easily able to beat him down to the ground in one second, despite not really knowing you long enough to be this affected by a single strand of words plastered together.

“Does this mean we have to be friends?” you say, eyeing his aunt. Jisung doesn't know if you two have met before, because he himself hasn’t been around his aunt this often, but the familiarity in your eyes tells him that this shouldn’t be your first time being around his aunt. He has no way of proving it, and since he doesn't care enough to ask, he may never actually know.

“That’s- that’s not what I was hinting at, but I’m sure you two would make good friends!” his aunt chirps, making him suddenly wonder if her friends even agreed on letting their child spend time with a boy they just saw for the first time, sleeping on the floor of his aunt’s living room. He doesn’t think his aunt actually cares about their opinion, though. He thinks she just desperately wants him out of the house sometimes. Truth be told, he doesn’t blame her. It wasn’t her fault that he had to suddenly waddle into her house, eat her food and sleep in the spare bedroom for the summer– if he was in his aunt’s shoes, he’d want his comfort back as well. She didn’t ask for this. And he doesn’t even know why she agreed in the first place. “You are quite similar and have a lot in common, is what I meant,” his aunt finishes, and Jisung cringes under her gaze, because in reality, how could she even know? 

A sigh escapes your lips, eyes rolling as you look over at your parents and snicker. “Am I at least getting paid for hanging out with this loser?” 

“Y/N, watch your mouth!” your mother snaps, an apologetic look in her eyes. 

Truth is, though, the comment doesn’t affect him. At least not in the way it should– it doesn’t offend him, it doesn’t hurt. Instead, he grins, looking you dead in the eyes, already liking the foreign excitement in his bones that dares to make his life feel much more lively than it has while he was locked up in the spare  bedroom of his aunt’s house.

“I’m Park Jisung.”

Your lips widen into a cheshire grin, Jisung’s surroundings suddenly disappearing into thin air, the adults in their own universe now, not heard of and not seen. Staring you into your eyes for a heartbeat, another few words escape his mouth as a premise, unknowingly setting the tone for the two of you already.

“Let’s hang out. Show me around. If I have fun, you get a tenner. If it sucks, you’re not getting paid for being friends with me. Deal?”

He doesn’t know if it was the money on the line, or if you saw something in him that interested you enough to keep on giving in. And after all this time, he doesn't think he’ll get an answer– it’s too far out of his reach, too far back in history. But somehow, in that moment, you took his hand and shook it, starting off something that made Park Jisung who he is today. The contact of your hand with his felt like electricity to the boy, the sudden courage disappearing right as he feels the softness of your palm, and when your eyes lock, he physically feels his knees buckle under him– that’s the effect you have on the boy.

Your roles are soon reversed when you’re brought back into reality by an adult’s voice, your hands losing contact as you break away, looking at your mother with a glare in your eyes.

“Look, Ms Park has a piano! Go and play something for us, sweetie.”

A pained sigh escapes your lips, seemingly already knowing you won’t get out of this no matter how hard you try or plead, slowly walking over to the instrument settled in the corner of the room, cracking your knuckles and humming to yourself, thinking of what song to play.

“Jisung plays too, actually!” his aunt chimes in, and he sighs, halting in his movements,

because one, he can’t play the piano, and two, the song rolling off your fingers is so beautiful, so melodic he secretly starts to hope that he did.

Park Jisung can’t believe himself in the very moment when he’s standing at the rocky beach with you, clearing his throat and scratching the back of his neck every few seconds in a poor attempt of calming down his nerves and the erracting beating of his heart. He’s only 18 and has no experience with girls, so he thinks this is the sheer effect of the fact that he can’t swim well and he’s afraid of embarrassing himself in front of you– he bets you’re not strong enough to bring out his drowning body out of the depths of the lake anyways, so it really must be fear that’s holding him down from undressing in front of you and jumping into the refreshing water. 

“Come on, Park Jisung, what are you waiting for?” you jab at him, a sharp finger pointing straight to his ribs. Your top is already off, a peach-colored bikini top catching Jisung’s attention that he instantly averts and focuses on the shiny water instead, worried he’d get caught if his eyes lingered a bit more. Again, Park Jisung is only 18 and he barely leaves the house– the only girl in a bikini he’s ever seen were the actors in the movies he watched on TV or the characters in the anime he once binged watched in the middle of the night, and those curves were drawn-on, on top of that. He doesn’t know what to do around a girl, and holding a conversation is suddenly that harder when his eyes keep drifting towards your body.

“I- I can’t really swim,” he mumbles out, another set of scratching his neck taking place, the slowly burning skin on the sharp sun making him shift in discomfort.

“Fuck’s sake,” a curse escapes your mouth, the word catching the poor boy off-guard even more, since he’s not used to anyone speaking in that tone around him– with the exception of his parents when they argue, of course, but he’d rather not bring up the memory– and his big eyes scan you again, surprised and almost a little worried of your next actions, “well, I’m not getting 10 pounds this way, am I? Didn’t know the uptown boy can’t swim…” you mutter under your breath before you shake your head in disbelief and shrug off your shorts, throwing the clothing towards the beach towel sprawled out on the shore.

Now, Jisung tries really really hard not to look at your bum. That would be really embarrassing– truly humiliating– and he’s a gentleman, of course. And it doesn’t make it better that the whole journey here, you were rambling about your day and about how bored you are in this little village, and he found the scrunch of your nose so adorable, because now he has the crushing reality dawning up on him that he’s 18 and finally having a sexual awakening. No, he won’t stare at your body. He’s simply not allowed.

“What are you waiting for? Are you gonna go into the water in your clothes?” you ask again, looking him up and down when he doesn’t move. 

“Oh, I was just thinking I could… you know, stay here and hang out by myself until you’re done swimming, or something…” he says, and the more words that spill out of his mouth, the more embarrassed he feels, because your gaze suddenly locks with his and you seem so amused by his rambling, you find his words so hilarious, he doesn’t miss a heartbeat before he sighs more-so to himself and takes off his shirt, clearing his throat awkwardly when he finds you staring at his naked skin.

“Glad you got the memo,” you muster up, shaking your head in disbelief and tying your hair up into a neat bun. “I swear it’s not that deep from the corners, you’re not gonna drown. Your aunt would kick my head off if I left you here to fry,” you mumble and Jisung hates how it sounds like you’re truly only here because you have to, because the more seconds he spends staring into your eyes trying to predict your next move, the more he wishes you were here because you were only slightly interested in spending time with the new kid in the village– him.

“Alright,” he mumbles, and when he’s finally only in his swimming suit, taking cautious steps and following you towards the water, he finds his anxiety levels rising, because the truth is, he’s never swam in a lake before. Sure, he’s been in pools– but those aren’t so scary. He can almost always feel the bottom of it under his feet and he knows they don’t get as deep. Surely, there is a little to no possibility of him drowning in a swimming pool. Lakes, however, are a different thing. He can’t reach the bottom, and if he does, the surface is disgusting and slippery and won’t help him to his feet– if he really got too stiff and panicked, he could die. And that’s perhaps what scares him the most as he takes the first step on the slick rock at the very edge of the water, the slight stumble of his feet only making him more aware of the reality that’s in front of him.

“You’re such a scaredy cat,” you tease him when you look at him from behind your shoulder, a grin on your face acting like a sucker punch towards Jisung’s gut. And the truth is, he’d be more relaxed if you just gave him a minute– to collect his thoughts, calm his erracting heartbeat as he’d tell himself that there’s nothing to worry about and that the water here truly isn’t as deep yet and the worst thing that could happen is that he lands on his ass, but you don’t give him a chance to do so as your hand slips into his– trying to steady him, as you walk deeper into the water.

Your soft hand in his, fingers intertwined, he finds himself holding on to you like a lifeline– because in his tragic imagination, you might as well be one– and the beating of his heart only gets faster when he gets painfully aware of the sweat pooling in the palms of his hand and the very apparent hesitance in his step. If you notice it, you don’t mention it– to which Jisung’s equal parts surprised and glad, and suddenly, his figure is waist-level in the water before he even has a chance to register it and your hand lets go of his, the momentarily hypnotization of your hold escaping him when he has to face you as he stands still in the cool liquid.

You’re staring at him with a flashy smile, expecting eyes waiting for him to react to you in any way– and when nothing comes, you must realize that he’s too starstrucked by your appearance to muster up anything coherent enough. 

“You alright there?”

He finds himself nodding, a hum escaping his throat to accompany his response. It’s not enough for you, though, and the truth is, Park Jisung should’ve been prepared for this, since even the two days of knowing you must be enough to get to know the true intentions of your actions– because you tease him again, and even though the boy gets sulky easily, he doesn’t seem to find himself paying it much mind.

“A cat got your tongue?” you snicker, shaking your head at him. 

For a second, Jisung debates on acting dumb– maybe more silence or a shrug of his shoulders would rile you up more, get you more annoyed– but he should’ve learned already that you’re always one step ahead of him, in more cases than one, when a splash of cold water hits his heated skin, making him hiss in shock.

Your laughter fills his ears as he watches you stand still in front of him, presumably not expecting much threat from the boy that’s barely able to move in the lake, but the angelic look on your face acts like a dopamine kick for the boy, vitamin D flowing through his veins as he reacts to your teasing with another splash of water, feet delicately chasing you around the lake, screeches coming out your throat like music to his ears on the sunny summer afternoon. 

The water fight ends with him tripping over a stone as he tries to run away from you, and the shock on your face is evident– Jisung finds himself feeling endearment at the hint of you worrying about him– when you rush towards the boy and lean over his body sitting in the water, Jisung’s worst-case scenario coming to life right in front of your eyes. 

“Are you okay?” you ask, a hand offered to him to get him back up on his feet.

And Jisung takes it, only to tug you down towards him, his body shielding you from the impact, but still hitting the ice-cold water of the lake. With your face only centimeters away from his, your annoyed, yet amused face causing him to grin, he finds himself laughing at your next remark.

“I take it as today’s worthy of a tenner then, Park Jisung. Having too much fun, aren’t you?”

To Park Jisung, summer feels like sleep and the humid air in his little room back home. He’s never really been anywhere on vacations or holidays, because frankly, with his father’s nature and his mother’s low income job, there wasn’t really much space to go somewhere and explore what it’s like to enjoy the summer heat instead of constantly angrily swearing at the weather. For that matter, Park Jisung never really enjoyed summer. He was always locked up in that small room, sometimes listening to his parents’ arguing– which he so desperately tried to ignore every time, but his heart did that weird hammering each time his father broke a glass or his mother raised her voice a bit louder than usual– and when his parents weren’t arguing, the house would be too quiet, making him overthink. 

To Park Jisung, summer feels like overslept afternoons and boredom. He doesn’t know any better, and he would even pity himself, but the truth is, he thinks that’s embarrassing. People have it worse, after all– he’s just a teenager with no life purpose. Just like any other, right?

So when Jisung arrives at his aunt’s place for the summer– no longer having to listen to his parents’ arguing, because after 18 years of his life, they finally decided to call it quits and drag their son to the only relative he vaguely knows for the time being, until they figure everything out– he expects nothing more from the old house than what he experienced his whole growing up. He expects overslept afternoons and sweaty pajamas clinging to his back, humid air everywhere and the weird hollowness in the pit of his stomach. 

To his surprise– and believe me, he didn’t really expect this at all– the summer before university is completely different, and he’s pleased with the change. 

He wakes up late one afternoon, because he doesn’t expect anything exciting to happen in the time he spends asleep anyway, and when he drags his feet to the kitchen, body tense and hurting from the weird positions he found himself sleeping in, his mind is instantly sweeped of all the haziness when he founds your figure in his aunt’s house, laughing at the radio host babbling through the device.

“Good morning, sleepyhead,” his aunt greets him from the corner of the room, and he’s suddenly too aware of his bed hair and the fact that his clothing is all wrinkled and his face is puffy, because he feels your eyes on him and he hates to know that you see him in such state. Not that he’s any eye candy any other day, of course– he just thinks you could’ve seen him in a more presentable light, that’s all.

“G’morning,” he mutters as he scratches the back of his neck and looks around the room, trying to grasp the events of 1PM– barely morning anymore.

“If you woke up earlier, you could’ve gone with us,” his aunt chirps in from the stove, swirling something sweet-smelling in a big pot. Her face is fawned over with a glaze of sweat and even the wide-open window does nothing to get the air to clear out– Jisung thinks that’s just the magic of summer. It’s always too hot, and the only thing you can do is complain.

“Where did you go?”

“To the forest,” you smile at him, seeing as he takes a few hesitant steps towards your figure, “we picked berries and now your aunt’s making jam. A classic village-like summer activity, don’t ya think?” you chirp, tugging your hair behind your ear as you pick through the big bowl and put away the berries that don’t look as good, choosing to not include them in the jam. 

Jisung hums in agreement, still a little confused, as he takes another few steps around the room. Looking over his aunt’s shoulder, he sees the blood colored liquid boiling at the stove, the air even sweeter right above the steam, and he suddenly wonders if this is today’s activity. Looking over his shoulder at you, dressed in shorts and a tank top, he shrugs to himself– if it means that you’ll be over at his house the whole time the jam’s being made, he doesn’t mind helping out in the kitchen. 

“Can you wash these?” you ask, pointing towards the bowl full of berries. He nods to your order and takes it over to the sink, carefully splashing water over the fruit and making sure each piece is clean– he doesn’ want to embarrass himself in front of you. Frankly, he doesn’t know what’s going on or how exactly jam is made, but you seem like you’re a regular in those activities– he doesn’t want you to think he’s a city guy with no knowledge of how the world works. Because that’s kind of true, but you don’t have to know that.

Bringing the bowl over to the table again, he watches as you look up at him from the next bowl you’re currently sorting through, raising your brows in question at his stare. The boy almost wants to look away from being caught, but he figures it’s too late anyway, so he challenges you and waits for you to jab at him or roll your eyes. 

Instead, you pick up one berry from the bowl and press it up against his lips, an innocent smile playing with your features as you wait for him to eat it, looking at him with expecting eyes.

“Delicious, isn’t it?”

“Absolutely magical,” Jisung replies, overly-exaggerated, seeing you grin. He steals himself another berry from the bowl, escaping from the playful slap you want to give to the palm of his hand, before he sits on the chair opposite of yours, silently watching you doing your task.

“Now, today’s events might not be as exciting, so you can save your next 10 pounds, but once your aunt’s hands get tired, you can take over and stir the jam while it cooks,” you explain, teasing him with your little inside joke– you’re not actually getting paid for hanging out with him. Not really, although Jisung did buy you ice cream on your way home from the lake the other day. So in a way, you are. Just not with real money.

“So fun!” he says, watching you as you roll your eyes.

The truth is, he doesn’t care much about what he does during the day. As long as you’re present, he’s satisfied.

To Park Jisung, summer feels like overslept afternoons, his little humid room back home and boredom. This afternoon, the smell of berries, the sound of the radio and your bubbly laugh when you tease him joins the mix– and he thinks those overpower the grudge he has against the season with such measures he prays every day feels like summer from now on.

The room is kind of chilly when Jisung rests his back against the tall bookshelf– the side of the furniture, so the shelves aren’t uncomfortable against his back– eyes glued to the pages of the book. He finds himself too immersed in the story to notice anyone coming into his aunt’s living room, too occupied with the sentences to hear the shuffling of your feet as you drag your legs across the house. His aunt always lets you in with no questions– you only knock on the door and smile at her when she opens it, slickly jumping inside and finding who you’re looking for in one of the few rooms of the house– more often than not, you catch Park Jisung off guard, but he is starting to get used to the euphoric surprise.

Jisung is an avid reader. He’s liked books since he was little, and it was the only thing he found himself spending money on growing up. When the amount of books he could read in one month became too big for him to keep buying more and more prints, his mother took him to the town to get him his own library card.

After looking through the bookshelf in his aunt’s house, he was surprised– and a little annoyed– at the fact that there were only romance books in store. He already finished the copy of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy he brought with himself when his parents sent him off, and he didn’t really think of bringing more. Finding his aunt’s bookshelf was like finding a treasure, only if the contents weren’t so disappointing. Still, a romance book is better than no book, he thinks, as he picks a familiar one up and sits on the floor, immersing himself into the story.

“What are you reading?” he suddenly hears, head snapping up to see you watching him from above, eyes skimming through the words.

“A book,” he responds, voice low, before his eyes are back on the pages.

“I can see that, genius,” you snicker, situating yourself next to him and resting your back against the bookshelf, “what book is it?” you pry more, and even though you are almost always the main object of Park Jisung’s attention and thoughts, this time, you are set to the second place as he continues to read the novel.

You are rewarded with silence, a thing that makes your brows furrow and a sigh escape your lips. You’re not used to this kind of treatment, it seems, and when the interested teenager doesn’t give you his time of the day, you have no other choice but to ask for it yourself, no matter how embarrassing it might feel. You’re okay with biting it down– you know he won’t try to tease you about it anyways.

“Jisung, give me attention,” you simply say, jabbing your finger to his thigh.

“I’m reading.”

“I came to visit you!” you act offended, an over-exaggerated sigh escaping your lips.

“I didn’t ask you to,” Jisung mumbles, still reading through the pages, although his focus is now a little thrown-off.

Giving yourself a few seconds to think, chewing on the inside of your cheek, you shrug. “Okay, then. Read it out loud, so I’m entertained too.”

“It’s the middle of the book, Y/N–”

“Come on, I read The great Gatsby before anyway,” you say as you nestle a little in your place, resting your back flush against the shelf again, “read for me so we don’t sit in silence,” you order.

Jisung spares you a glance, a second of eye contact enough for him to be convinced, huffing before he averts his eyes back to the book and clears his throat, reading aloud. 

He doesn’t like to be the center of attention. He doesn’t like it when everyone’s eyes are on him and he feels them watching, he absolutely despises the fact that he’s the only thing you’re focused on as he reads through the words and his voice shakes a little at each passage. He feels his face heartening and sweat slowly forming on his forehead, each of his fingertips tingling with the fact that he’s the only thing you’re paying attention to right now, your only object of interest.

“He knew that when he kissed this girl, and forever wed his unutterable visions to her perishable breath, his mind would never romp again like the mind of God. So he waited, listening for a moment longer to the tuning-fork that had been struck upon a star. Then he kissed her. At his lips’ touch she blossomed for him like a flower and the incarnation was complete,” he reads, and when he feels your head resting on his shoulder, your soft hair tickling the sensitive skin of his neck, he almost jumps out of his own skin and crawls under the ground, because somewhere along the way, he admits in shame, in his imagination, you turned into the main character.

Laying on the floor of his aunt’s living room, listening to the vinyl you popped into the record player just a few minutes prior to leaving the room to get some tea from his aunt, Park Jisung no longer wishes for the ground to swallow him whole and for the ceiling to fall down and bury him in the deepest depths of this house. He listens deeply to the music– the loud guitars and the ringing of the drums, so dearly reminding him of the beating of his own heart that involuntarily matches the song somewhere between the verse and the chorus– and when you slip back inside, carrying a tray with two mugs in the very middle, Jisung’s eyes unconsciously watch you as you walk through the space. It’s a weird parallel that makes him snicker.

“Why are you just laying here?” you nudge him with your leg, his figure limp on the floor. “We didn’t come here to lay around, little boy.”

“Just give me a few more minutes,” he hums as he nods, looking at you from below, the curves of your face and the glow on the tips of your cheekbones making his heartbeat stummer for just a beat, an excited glint in his stomach making itself known when you grin at him and your eyes bear into his with an uncertain feeling of mischief and playfulness.

“Are you mentally preparing, or something?”

“Something like that,” he admits, sighing to himself when you offer him a hand and beg him to stand up with your eyes, your skin soft under his touch when he hosts himself up and stands aimlessly in the middle of the room.

You stand in front of him, stiff, for only a few seconds. The eye contact you share makes Jisung feel electrified, but he doesn’t find himself averting his gaze– he’s too scared that you’d find him cowardly, or too shy to meet your glances. And even though it might be true and your whole existence is of exciting importance to the boy, he doesn’t want to show it to you so bluntly, so he chooses to bury those hints and stand his ground, waiting for you to look away first. He didn’t expect you to take it as a challenge– but when his still body annoys you a bit too much, he earns himself a bump to his shoulder, the contact of your tightened fist making him break into a victorious grin.

“Move!”

Jisung takes a step to his left, seeing as you roll your eyes at his teasing manner– normally you’re the one taking the lead in playful banter, but he’s feeling bold today, energized with whatever spirit– and you notice, hating the way he has the upper hand over you for once, deciding to once again take the matters to your own hands and lead him through the situation, grabbing him by his hand and strongly pulling him towards either side of the room, rolling your hips in your place and jumping around, laughing when he doesn’t seem to obey your strategy.

“Jisung-ah! You promised,” you pout, the soft demand in your tone making the boy sigh in defeat and roll his eyes at you, because if you’re good at something, it’s using your words and taking advantage of his weakness for you. And so he does what you want him to, finally holding you more firmly when his hands miraculously find your waist and he dances with you to the rock music– jumping around and twirling the two of you in the middle of the room, because there aren’t many dance moves you can do to this kind of music unless you’re really skilled– and there it is, the wide grin settling onto your face, like a sweet, sweet reward to the boy.

Because even though you really wanted to have fun with Jisung– to get the promised tenner, you said– your mum didn’t let you go to the party in town, no matter how hard you pleaded and tried to reason with her that Jisung’s gonna be there with you to protect you. His aunt knew better than to believe the claim– if there’s someone needing protection, it’s her nephew, and being the one that’s supposed to do the job might be too much pressure for the poor boy. 

And when you pouted and mourned about the fact while breaking the news to Jisung yesterday afternoon, he found himself promising you that you can have your own party at his house, dancing around and having even more fun listening to his aunt’s outdated records and drinking chamomile tea that’s surely better than whatever alcohol they are serving in the town.

He’s not a good dancer. The music is not his cup of tea. But hearing your laughter piercing through his eardrums whenever he dips you down or does a silly dance solo just to impress you with his playfulness, he finds himself being content.

He hasn’t laughed this hard in a long while. He says it’s because of your outrageous ideas.

Deep inside, though, he knows it’s because of your sole presence.

“You already finished The Great Gatsby?” you ask, your soft voice cutting through the solemn wind. Jisung glances up at you from his spot next to your figure, the two of you sitting under the tree behind his house, silence enveloping you two like a blanket, only disturbed by the chirping of birds and cicadas in the distance. 

He nods. “I’m a fast reader,” he snickers.

“You must have liked the book,” you mumble, your head falling to his shoulder as you nestle in your place a little, the book in your lap still open as you engage in the conversation with him. You’re wearing a summer dress, your bruised knees on full display, and something about the air smelling like strawberries makes him think and wonder of the fact that this feels a little too much like a date, but he’s too afraid to let the thought ring out loud.

“Not really,” he states, “I don’t like romance novels.”

“You don’t?” you ask, the statement taking you off guard.

“No.”

“Why?”

“They’re not realistic,” he mutters under his nose.

“You don’t believe in love?” you ask, your eyes locking with his in a curious manner. The more he bears his eyes into yours, the more he watches as the glimmers in your orbs swim around and hypnotize him, the more he wishes he could say yes, the more he yearns to tell you that he does, he always has and he always will believe in love, but smiling to himself, more out of despair than out of anything, he shakes his head in disapproval and sees the shadow casting over your face, breaking him.

“Why?” you ask, the tone of your voice almost hurt, as if it was a question of life and death.

“Because… it doesn’t seem real. It’s all an illusion, a chemical reaction, even, it’s- it’s not forever, you know? It messes with your brain and makes you feel dizzy for a while, and then after a while, you realize you don’t feel the same anymore and it was all just a lack of judgment. I don’t think love exists,” he says, “or at least, I don’t think it can last.”

Your eyes watch him with a newly found sense, something in your brain turning fast as you chew on the inside of your cheek, and he can see it in your eyes– you want to disagree with him, you want to tell him that he’s stupid and silly and he doesn’t know anything, he’s just too burdened with what’s going on in his life and that he judges everything by the image of love that was fed to him by his parents; the love that didn’t last, the love that didn’t exist– but you don’t say anything along those lines, maybe in a quiet understanding, knowing it won’t change his mind, knowing it’s not your place to tell him otherwise.

Instead, you only bear your eyes back into the pages of your book and sigh. “I disagree. Because, Jisung, tell me,” you say, sighing before you continue, “how could it not be real, when everyone writes about it? When everyone sings about it, yearns for it and so desperately wants it? How could it not last when this book is older than any of us, yet it’s still considered one of the most trivial parts of romance?”

He watches you from above, the crown of your head now in his point of view when he listens to your voice. “You should be kissed often, and by someone who knows how,” you read, “isn’t that beautiful, Jisung? Isn’t that love? Don’t tell me it’s all an illusion.”

Your eyes don’t meet his when you speak those words. Not able to focus back on his own reading, he becomes painfully aware of your head on his shoulder again, the soft tickling of your hair against his neck– and he finds himself thinking that if love is an illusion, a chemical reaction, a lack of judgment, even– if love doesn’t last, if it’s all just a drunkenness that makes him dizzy, he doesn’t mind. 

At the end of the day, what matters might just be the present moment. And if this doesn’t last, he’s content with how he’s feeling for you now– even though it might fizzle out, he’s grateful for the things you’ve taught him.

Park Jisung’s summer is filled with him staring at you in your summer dress, with him watching you when you ramble on and on about something that makes barely any sense in his brain, with you dancing around the room and playing the piano in his aunt’s living room, the melodies sometimes lullying him to dreams filled with your scent and your voice calling from him when he wakes from his slumber.

Your face is the image that fills his brain when he thinks of sunny days, and somewhere along the way, he stopped trying to conceal the subtle infatuation he has over you, for you no longer tease him for his gentle stares and allow him to admire you in silence.

Today, much like all other days, he finds himself in your company. Sitting in the meadow, side by side– you convinced him he’d like the sight, but he finds himself watching you smile instead– the smell of strawberries fills his nose when you take out your lip balm and put it on, your soft lips suddenly glistening with the moisture, a pinkish tint like a subtle overlay over your smile. Indulged into the motion, Jisung can’t seem to look away, and he could play it off as him so desperately wanting to know if the lip balm tastes as delicious as it smells, but suddenly, all he can think about it how he wants to kiss you and how if he doesn’t look away soon, he won’t be able to control the urge.

But Jisung’s always been too weak when it comes to you. Eyes glued to your lips, still talking about philosophical themes the boy could never wrap his mind around, never in a million years, the stream of words is suddenly cut off your lips when he presses his against them, tasting the sweetness off your skin. And his suspicions were correct– the lip balm is as tasty as it smells, yet, even better than he could expect, tasting more of strawberries dipped in honey– but in his mind, the sweetness you and not the lip balm, and when your palm meets his cheek and holds him in place, he feels close to falling apart right in your hold, a fragile pot full of love and affection for you only, eyes pressed shut from nerves.

He doesn’t think he’s a good kisser. It’s his first time and he never really thought about the action before– never had the opportunity or the right person to prompt the thought into his head. He tries hard to ignore the thought of him being bad at the action, because he doesn’t want to ruin this memory for himself, and as you pull away for a heartbeat and then press yourself into him once more, he finds himself forgetting the time, space and the whole universe– there’s only you, you, you.

And he could lie to himself and convince himself that he kissed you just to taste the strawberries on his tongue, but it’s far from the simple reality– he kissed you just to kiss you.

Not thinking of the future this holds to him, not thinking of the fact that one day, you’ll have to say goodbye. Not thinking of much more, not expecting any difference in your dynamic. Deep down, he doesn’t even really want things to change– he likes the stillness, the security it holds. He kissed you just to kiss you– it was that simple. The desire was too strong to hold back. It was gentle, it was sweetness, and he found himself wondering how come it took him such a while.

Laying on the floor of his aunt’s living room with you, listening to the silence ringing in his ears and making his brain wander, Park Jisung wishes for the ground to swallow him whole and for the ceiling to fall down and bury him in the deepest depths of this house. He hasn’t felt like this in a while, too enchanted with your presence to realize the weight of the situation, too immersed in the blissful unknowingness than paying attention to the stresses that even brought him to his aunt’s house in the first place, but his head starts to spin as he dives in deeper to his thoughts, letting the fear swallow him. He once again wonders what would happen if he just left the room, left his aunt’s house and ran away so far no one could ever find him– it’s a familiar tale now, but he’s never really quite reached the end.

“What are you thinking about?” your voice breaks him out of the tense slumber, his eyes growing wide as he snaps his head to watch you next to him, your orbs filled with tender care and worry. The outside world is slowly turning into a little less vibrant one, the summer nights growing colder with the undeniable fact of the season ending soon, autumn taking its place and Park Jisung’s own departure slowly burning at the tips of his toes. 

He doesn’t like to think about it, but it’s inevitable. Maybe he should pay it more mind. 

“Home,” he mumbles, squinting his eyes as he turns his head back straight and watches the spiderwebs in the corner, the weight of his words making the atmosphere thicker. “It’s not gonna be the same,” he adds, chewing on the inside of his cheek.

The silence doesn’t go away as your hand envelopes his, your fingers playing with his in a calming manner, yet still having a playful aura to it as you tug on the joints of his fingers and wave them around in the air, eyes focused on the way his palm fits into yours. “Isn’t that a good thing?” you ask.

“I don’t know,” he answers. 

And it’s true. He doesn’t know– fights and anger and bad temper is all he’s ever known, all he’s ever been used to. The silent treatment and the petty arguments are what raised him, and now that it’s gone, he wonders if it’s gonna make him feel better. The truth is, sometimes, feeling like this can feel essential. It feels safe to be so miserable, for when the bright times of him and his parents being okay and getting along happened, he’s always felt unsure, like the storm was about to happen each time; like he couldn’t be happy for long, because it felt uncomfortably unsafe, having the hunch that it’s gonna get bad again any time. Feeling numb was safe. It couldn’t get worse than that– it’s what made him comfortable with his sadness. 

And if it’s true that it’s gonna be better now, just because his parents are gonna be separated and they’re not gonna be in contact, is it really okay for him to feel happy about that? Is it really the end? The calm after the storm of his childhood and growing up? And is it okay to feel secure in loneliness? To feel okay with seeing his mother wither away and his dad turning to alcohol every time he visits him in his new house? Because he can picture it now– he sees it clear as day, that this is how the situation’s gonna end up, and he doesn’t know if it’s a good or a bad thing.

“It’s gonna be okay,” you mumble, a poor attempt at soothing the boy.

He finds it hard to believe you. Sometimes he thinks you know everything– you’ve seen so much and taught him so much and told him so much about the world. But can you really know anything about a situation you’ve never encountered? 

Still, his hopeless heart swells at your words, the comfort of your hand in his guarding him to reality. He thinks he made you up sometimes– he longed for something to comfort him so hard and for so long that the longing grew legs and followed him around, brightened up his withering days. 

“I’m scared to come home,” he whispers, the tone barely audible in the so still room. He’s scared of what he’ll find. Sometimes he thinks he’s scared of the silence, for he was brought up in violent screams and doors always left a bit open– just in case. Is it going to be fine for him to find peace after the violence?

You lean up and watch the boy with eyes bigger than the whole universe, a soft smile playing with your features when your fingers trail the curve of his cheek. Jisung watches your lips and dreams of them on his, but there’s no use when you only trace the arch of his cupid's bone with the pad of your thumb, voice barely louder than a whisper, as if confiding him in a secret. “You’re gonna be okay.”

And with that, you’re gone. Like a dream. Your touch fades and your scent is forcefully dragged away from his nose.

After a few seconds, you play the piano for him again. He recognizes the song to be the same one you played on the first day you two met– and he wonders if it’s your favorite, or if you just don’t know how to play anything as well. The melody is often slow, romantic and idyllic, but builds into an intense complexity. Towards the end, the initial melody returns, bringing a sense of resolution and tranquility. He doesn’t know the name of the song– he’s never heard of it before meeting you– but in his soul, the feelings of love, longing and enchantment remain as he listens to the harmonies and passionate melody. 

Laying on the floor of his aunt’s living room, listening to the song you play for him on the piano, so many words unsaid but hanging in the air, Park Jisung closes his eyes and feels a stray tear rolling down his cheek. The air smells of autumn when the breeze flows into the room through the open window, making the hairs on his arm stand up in attention, and his head starts to spin as he dives in deeper to the music, the classical tunes almost making him overthink more than he has before. He wonders what will happen if you left the room right now. If he’ll ever find you, wherever you are.

Laying on the floor of his aunt’s living room, listening to the song you play for him on the piano, so many words unsaid but hanging in the air, Park Jisung closes his eyes and lets himself fall into a soft slumber, the same way he did the first time you walked through the door to his life. During the sleep, he dreams of love.

Park Jisung opens his eyes on the last day of summer and feels coldness seeping into his bones. It’s not cold yet, the season hasn’t even ended, but there’s something about the aura of the morning that makes him crawl in his own skin and dread the day in front of him. After today, he’s supposed to come back home– he’s going to leave everything the summer taught him behind, in this little village, with his aunt he’s grown to adore more than he initially thought he could. It’s kind of depressing, if you really think about it, but Jisung would rather not think at all.

He sits up on the bed, burrowing his head into his palms and huffs heavily at the thoughts running through his brain. He’s not a morning person, sure, but he thinks perhaps his sudden mood change is the result of something completely else– something he doesn’t yet know and can’t quite put his finger on, can’t quite name.

Standing up and walking out of his room, naked feet in contact with the hardwood floor, the clique of the door feels unusually cold against his hand when he reaches for it, opening it and getting ready to face the day. He hasn’t said goodbye to you yet, but he knows he’ll have to today. It’s the last opportunity before he walks out of summer break for real, the last opportunity to see your smile and to hold you in his arms like he always yearned for whenever you were in his close proximity.

Yet, as he gets ready to take the first step out of the room, his feet come to contact with something sharp, a block-like object waiting for him outside of the door. Squinting below his toes, he finds a book on the hard tiles, picking it up and moving it closer up towards his nose. Reading over the title and the author’s name, his heart drops to his stomach, an unreasonable feeling of fear settling in his fingertips as he turns the page and reads through the contents, something scribbled on the first, worn-out page of the book catching his attention.

To my Jisung. Think of me when you read through the pages. You said you didn’t like romance novels, but I know you’re secretly a sucker for them. Always in your heart, Y/N.

A kiss mark in bright red is settled below the inscription, the lipstick stain he rarely ever seen you wear does nothing else than makes his heartbeat quicken and his fear intensify. He doesn’t have it confirmed yet, but in the depths of his mind and soul, he already knows– he knows it’s too late and you didn’t say goodbye before you left.

Still, his feet act before his brain does, his blurry vision ignored when he runs out of his aunt’s house and makes a jog towards the one you were staying at through the summer break. He puts on the first pair of shoes he finds at the doorstep and takes off, his aunt’s concerned yells ignored as he clutches the book to his chest, something about the beaten edges reminding him of the fact that it’s the one you always read in the shade under the single tree in the whole meadow, and it’s confirmed when he gets to your house– your parents’ car nowhere in sight, the windows shut and everything so intensely lonely.

And that’s when he allows himself to break– to fold at the grass in front of your house, to open the book and randomly find the sentence you quoted to him once, breaking his heart into a million different shatters. “You should be kissed often, and by someone who knows how,” he reads, and when his eyes trail over the next pages, he sees each one annotated, words scribbled on the sides of the pages, pretty quotes underlined. You left a piece of you with him, for him to keep, and he should feel lucky, for he has something to remember you by even though you’re long gone, but he just can’t get past the melody you played on the piano replaying over and over in his brain, reminding him that 

you left without a goodbye and he doesn’t know what he’s going to do once he moves back home and you’re not going to be there, and oh how badly he wishes you kissed him for the last time yesterday, for he can’t remember how your lips felt against his anymore and he fears he may never feel the way he did when he was kissed by you ever again. 

Rustling through the book, there’s a lone sheet of paper tucked behind the last page. Slowly walking home, head hung low, his eyes scanning the music sheet, the title of the song sits unfamiliar on his tongue when he repeats it under his breath like a broken mantra made to bring you back. 

He promises himself to learn how to play it on the piano one day, just so he could hear it again. There’s an inkling feeling in him that the song might be important.

Wobbling through the classroom, happy that the bell finally rang and he can go home, Park Jisung hears his name called from the mouth of his Creative writing professor, much to his dismay, making him stop in his tracks and follow his voice with a low sigh. It’s Friday and it’s raining outside, meaning that if he won’t catch the last tram home, he’ll have to run through the rain without an umbrella, and that really wasn’t on his checklist for the week.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like he hates this class or his Creative writing professor in the slightest. It’s quite the opposite, really– this class serves good to his vivid imagination and the daydreaming he practices every night before sleeping and sometimes even when he takes a long shower. His professor is nice as well– young enough to understand the minds that are filling the classroom, only getting his master’s degree recently– but still mature enough to lead the class in a way that makes everyone respect him in a healthy way. But today, on a rainy, gray Friday, after the last class of the week, Jisung really doesn’t feel like talking to Mr Kim in the slightest.

“Did you want to talk to me about something?” Jisung asks as soon as the classroom empties itself out and he is standing face to face with his professor. The man nods, taking his glasses off and putting them onto his desk, quickly turning around to his student again and only starting to talk once he makes sure the classroom is completely empty, just to stay confidential.

“Yes, I did,” he says. Humming under his breath as he turns around again, he searches through the papers sitting on the desk, seemingly looking for the ones that belong to Jisung, and clears his breath as he faces the boy again and furrows his brows at the writing on the paper.

“Is something wrong?” Jisung asks, full of concern. The truth is that the Creative writing class is one of the only classes that maintain his grades below the lowest level– the one that gets you kicked out of the university– and the face his professor’s currently making is surely not a one that seeps of satisfaction. It’s only natural for Jisung to feel worried, because with how badly he’s doing in Physics, he surely can’t afford to get a bad grade even in a class that’s supposed to come easily to him.

“No, no,” Mr Kim shakes his head in a hurry to quickly calm his student down, “it’s just…” trailing off, his eyes swiftly moving across the letters Jisung finished writing a few weeks ago, just a day before handing the first part of his assignment in, reading the first few lines over one more time. Jisung finds himself feeling irritated and frustrated, for his professor should be the one that’s good with words, but in this situation, he feels like he’s not telling him anything. 

“What is it, then?” he asks, diving straight in. If he gets it out of him now, he might even catch the last tram, as long as he runs to the tram stop… 

“Look, Jisung. What I’m going to tell you now might not make you happy, but I think it’s crucial for you,” he says, looking kindly, yet still firmly at the boy, “your writing… I like it. Quite honestly, I find it phenomenal. You have a way with words that just… when you explain feelings, you go into depths and details, and I find that really interesting from a boy like you.” 

Jisung doesn’t know what the premise of his words are, and the sudden praise catches him off-guard, since he thought he’s going to get scolded. Furrowing his brows and muttering low words of appreciation, his professor continues with his little ment, finally clarifying his intentions. “But I have an issue with this,” he says, pointing to the papers in his hands, meeting eyes with Jisung again, “it’s not that it’s bad. Not at all, I said what I said, I really find your writing the best in this class. However, I think it lacks something.”

Stepping from one foot to the other, Jisung chews on the inside of his cheek, confused. “And what does it lack, sir?”

“Emotion,” he deadpans, looking straight into his eyes. The words surprise him, making him furrow his brows at the explanation, mumbling in confusion.

“But… but you just said I describe emotions well?” 

“That’s true, Jisung, however… Your works are full of emotion, but I don’t think those emotions are yours. You’re describing something you don’t feel, something you don’t understand, and that makes me feel like you’re trying to sell me something you’re constantly having to make yourself believe is real,” Mr Kim answers, switching his tone into a more considerate one, “I like your imagination, I like the plot, however, this all means that your writing lacks any real depth.”

Jisung gasps at the harsh words, the reality of them making him sink a little in his place. “I thought a lot about the plot and the intentions of the characters, I really don’t know what I did wrong–”

“If this was any other student in this classroom that handed in this work, I’d praise them for outdoing themselves. It’s good. It’s almost perfect, I’d say, and I mean that. But when it comes to you, Jisung…” he trails off again, trying to find the right words, “I think you can do better. I know you can do better, only if you actually cared a bit about the things you write. Did you enjoy writing this? Did you like this work?” 

“I… I did- I think I do?” he stammers, answer sounding almost like a question, 

Mr Kim stares at him for a while, almost as if he’s trying to make the boy realize the lies he’s telling from his own mouth right now, but when it doesn’t come, he just sighs and offers him the papers, watching the boy take them into his hold and stare at him, completely oblivious.

“Jisung, you’re writing like you have to do it. It doesn’t mean anything to you. At least this story doesn’t. And you know, I can see it in your words, it’s- you’re describing everything so deeply and so beautifully, but at the end of the day, you don’t like or care for anything you write, and that’s why it feels extraordinarily empty,” he says, watching the boys eyes widen and his lips form into a pout, nodding softly at his professor’s words.

“Does that mean… I’m gonna get a bad grade on my final assignment?” Jisung asks, lost.

Sighing, Mr Kim shakes his head and gazes at his student with eyes like an endless pool of honesty. “I want you to hand in something else. Don’t worry about getting in the deadlines, I’ll wait for you and grade this at the end of the semester. All I want is for you to write a story that means something to you. Don’t worry about the prompt, even, if that’s what’s making you feel limited. Just make me believe what you’re writing, Jisung.”

Nodding, Jisung finally understands the whole point of what his professor is telling him. Truth be told, Mr Kim is right– he does not care a bit about the story he wrote. While he can admit that he did a good job on it, he did well at writing about ghosts– the prompt for this semester’s final work (they focused on horror and mystery in literature this year)– he is ready to throw the papers into his drawer and never think of them again, for he just wrote what he was supposed to without giving it any minor significance. He might have described the emotions of the characters well, he might have used pretty words and astonishing abbreviations, but at the end of the day, if someone asked him how much the story he wrote means to him, he’d tell them that it mattered to him no more than a homework he had to complete.

“I understand, Mr Kim. I’ll… I’ll try again,” he says, nodding.

He’s rewarded by a gentle smile coming from his mentor, an expression full of understatement and honest care for his student. Taking a step back from him and leaning on the desk, the professor hints that he can go now, offering him one last sentence of condolence before he sets him out of the classroom.

“I’d hate for your talent to go to waste, Jisung.”

Smiling, although a little tight-lipped, the boy slowly walks to the door, nodding one last time before he leaves. “I’ll try not to disappoint, sir.”

The halls of the university are dark due to the stormy clouds shielding the sun from offering the light to the world. Sighing and checking the time on his phone, Jisung notices that he missed his last tram and the only way he can get home now is to jog through the pouring rain. Opening the glass door of the university building, grunting as he puts the hood of his jacket over his head, he runs through the falling raindrops, still thinking of the words his professor told him in the classroom just a few minutes ago. 

Not looking in front of him as he runs, his body bumps into someone, making him utter honest, yet quick apologies as he jogs off after making sure the person is okay and didn’t drop anything, hating the way wet clothing sticks to his skin, making him feel almost a little claustrophobic. In the frantic hurry to get home as soon as possible, the boy doesn’t notice he dropped something on the floor–

the papers containing the latest story he wrote for the final assignment of his Creative writing class. Sitting in a puddle, somewhere in the middle of the street, the letters wash away with the afternoon rain, metaphorically erasing everything he wrote and didn’t care about in the past, moving him forward into a new direction.

Still, he looks behind his shoulder, ready to collect them from the ground just in case he might need them for something in the future, only to find the back of the person he just bumped into running away, a stack of white, water-stained A4 papers in their hands. Their walk is all too familiar to Jisung, the back of their head reminding him of something he’s experienced in the past, the sway of their hips and the jolt in their step making warmth erupt in his stomach at the fond memory that makes itself creep back into the boy’s head.

“It can’t be…” he mumbles.

The thought still fresh in his brain, the speculations making thoughts run around his mind faster than the speed of light, he opens up another Word document on his laptop as soon as he takes off his shoes in his mother’s new apartment, fingertips on fire. To write about something he cares for? Putting his everything into words that would mean something to him? It doesn’t seem as difficult right now.

Ghosts. The topic he found difficult to write about, for he’s never experienced anything paranormal before. He only tried to mimic everything he’s read about. 

If anyone asked Park Jisung if he believed in ghosts, he’d tell them yes, however– for he has seen longing grow legs and follow him. 

To write something he cares about, he decides– he’ll write about you.

He’ll write about the summer that even now, after so many months, feels like a dream.

[prettywordsyouleft]

Well Rewarded

Pairing: Park Jinyoung x female reader

Genre: friends to lovers / romance / suggestive / valentine’s day au

Warnings: suggestive content, lingerie, some nudity, basically everything but the smut, lol.

Author’s Note: of course, it’s the first time I write Jinyoung in 8 months, and he demands all this from me. Happy Valentine’s Day. Also friends, the concept of this story is a bit cringe about wanting to celebrate Valentine’s Day, but I don’t believe we all need to buy into the holiday. And if people shame you for not having a Valentine, then they’re the problem. This was just a bit of fun <3

Word count: 2100

You smiled as you read the note that came attached to the large bouquet of flowers, vaguely paying attention to the gushing from your co-workers.

He had remembered.

“Oh Y/N, you sneaky devil! You have kept tight-lipped about this one!”

“You’ve got explaining to do. Who’s the admirer?”

Your smile grew to Cheshire lengths, but you tried to rein it in. If you looked too giddy, they would insist on too many details. You needed to keep the charm there, bask in the attention the flowers had given you, and then accept that your ruse had worked.

Nothing more.

“Let me check the note out,” your manager Wendy insisted and plucked it out of your grasp. “‘Y/N, I know you don’t like a big fuss, but you’re worth it. Can’t wait to see you tonight, Love J xxx.’ Who’s J?”

“Someone special,” you replied truthfully, closing your eyes and thinking back to the disappointing Valentines you had last year, and how you had sobbed drunkenly on your best friend’s shoulder.

“Everyone got something in the office. Everyone except me. I’m going to have to send myself flowers next year just to make sure they don’t pity me as they did today. There’s nothing wrong with being single! Yet why do I feel so miserable?”

“Don’t worry. I’ll send you flowers.” Jinyoung was running his hand up and down your back rhythmically, trying to soothe your nerves.

“You will?” you asked, looking up at him with doe eyes, your bottom lip wobbling. “You’d do that for me?”

“Sure. You’re the only Valentine I want to have anyway. We’ll make a big deal out of it. If you’re not in a relationship next year, I’ll make this day so special you’ll never cry on it again.”

Another smile brightened your face as you thought over Jinyoung’s offer. You had honestly forgotten all about it until the bouquet had turned up, his tell-tale handwriting on the card making your heart leap. You were going to give him the best night ever. Should you cook for him? You could stop by the grocery store on your way to his, the ritual of Tuesday nights being spent together now growing more exciting as your thoughts progressed. Since he’d done this for you, you wanted to repay him with something delicious. Candlelit dinner for a fun touch. You spent the whole afternoon half-focused on your work tasks, whilst drafting up a dinner and dessert plan that would make your best friend happy.

You were excited by the time work was over and went to rush out of the building. No such luck, however, as your co-workers pulled you aside. “Hot date tonight, huh?”

“Something of the sort.”

“Are you prepared to blow his mind?” You merely stared back at Wendy as her eyebrows danced. She shared a look with the other two ladies and looped their arms through yours. “This is a big deal. You’ve worked at the company for five years and this is the first Valentine’s gift you’ve received. Time to make sure he receives too.”

You should have known with all their giggling you’d end up at a lingerie store two blocks over. You were so stunned that you didn’t even protest as they dragged you inside. And somehow, thirty minutes later, you left with a purchase made and a flush to your cheeks.

I’ll just wear it for myself sometime, you reasoned as you dashed towards the grocery store, loading a basket full of the supplies you had made a list for, trying not to think of how Jinyoung would have reacted to you wearing the set in the bag dangling off your arm. In another world, where you were both lovers and the flowers had meant more than saving face, you could imagine greeting Jinyoung after work in just the lingerie and heels, hungry eyes devouring your curves, your bare skin. It would definitely end with dessert being served up before the main course.

Shaking away the sinful image of your best friend lusting over you physically, you hurried through the rest of your shop before heading to Jinyoung’s place. Years ago, he had gifted you a key to his place, and tonight it would come in handy.

Or it would have if Jinyoung hadn’t beat you home first. “What’s all this?”

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Jinyoung!” you exclaimed delightedly, bustling into his kitchen and dropping your heavy grocery load on the kitchen countertop. “You remembered our pact.”

His curious expression grew smug momentarily as he looked at you. “I told you I would do it.”

“And I owe you one. So, since you have no date for tonight, I figured I’d spoil you.”

“You did, huh?” His attention fell back to the assorted bags, snagging on one in particular.

You followed his focused stare to the lingerie-branded bag, your mouth falling ajar at the sight of it mixed in with the groceries. You had been in such a hurry to get inside before he was home, that you must’ve grabbed it by accident. Shifting forward, you snapped it up off the table with an awkward laugh. “Oops!”

“That’s not for me too?” he teased, though his tone was too husky for it to remain light. “What’s inside?”

“Just something,” you attempted to sound airy as you shoved it under your purse, and tucked your coat overtop. “Nothing important.”

“You bought lingerie today.”

“Well, the flowers got the ladies excited. They dragged me to the store after work. I guess I got caught up in the throes of things.” You smiled widely. “Anyway, how does steak sound? I got a good cut and—”

“What colour is it?” Jinyoung continued, his gaze zeroed in on your coat, as if he was trying to scan through the layers to find it himself. He rocked on his heels and took a decisive step forward.

“Why does it matter?”

“I’m just curious. You’ve never been one to shop on a whim for undergarments.”

You placed a hand on your hip. “That you know of. I happen to own many nice sets. You just haven’t seen any before.”

His eyes darkened and he took another step forward. “Huh. I thought I knew everything about you, best friend.”

“It’s not like I think about the underwear you wear.”

“You already know what brand and size I wear. You bought me some for my birthday,” he replied instantly, fingers grazing your coat, caressing it with a patience that was missing from his tense expression.

Pausing on pulling out the ingredients for the meal, you walked back to his side, threw back your coat and shoved the bag into his hands. He looked at you and then the bag, suddenly unsure. You smirked. “What? You wanted to see what’s inside.”

“Did you think of me when you bought this?” he murmured so low that you weren’t sure he actually uttered the words. Breaking the sticker holding the bag closed, a deep inhale is all you heard as he peered inside. “Blue and white. You were thinking of me.”

“It was pretty,” you managed to say around your suddenly dry mouth, swallowing to try and moisten it.

There had been instances over your friendship where you had imagined this. Christ, you had only forty minutes ago. But you’d always pushed the thoughts aside, cherishing the decades of friendship more than a bout of intimacy. With the way Jinyoung now stood frozen, a fistful of satin locked within his grasp, you wondered if maybe it would be worth it.

“Jinyoung.”

“Mm?”

“Do you… want to see it on?” you asked, unsure where the confidence came from. He had never made you feel uncomfortable within your body, but it wasn’t like you to just offer a scantily-dressed option of yourself up to anyone.

He isn’t just anyone though, your brain reminded, as you caught his pupil-dilated stare, his hand trembling as he thrust the garments at you. Grabbing them, you nodded once as his jaw tightened, and you strode over to the bathroom, clicking the door shut.

Away from the heady atmosphere, you let out a small laugh. “What the hell am I doing?” you asked yourself as your hands worked down the zipper of your dress, the fabric pooling at your feet. You weren’t prepared for this. You would have waxed; shaved at the very least. But for some reason, that didn’t deter you. The more clothing you pulled off, the more determined you were to have this moment regardless.

Whether or not Jinyoung had been at the forefront of your thoughts when purchasing the lingerie, he was now. You needed him to see you in it. It was a craving unlike any other, and you were excited. After clasping the bra hooks together, you smoothed your hands down your silhouette and turned to look in the mirror. You had subconsciously left your heels on, completing the fantasy you had envisioned in the supermarket before.

Emboldened, you turned and opened the door. Jinyoung was standing with his back to you, though you knew he was aware of your return to the living room. Maybe he was regretting pushing the idea. Your hopes were dashed a little. “Well, it fits nice, so…”

The deflecting words died on your tongue when he turned, raking his gaze over you from head to toe. You were under his spotlight, and instead of nerves rushing through as you expected, the flames in his stare heated your skin with every longing caress.

“When I sent you those flowers, I wasn’t quite expecting such a gift in return,” he hoarsely said, striding towards you until he was close to brushing against you. You gasped as his breath met your exposed skin, his eyes still roaming over you. “I’m not complaining one bit.”

“So, dinner?” you questioned weakly, unable to hide the desire filling your voice. You wanted him. You wanted to see as much bare skin as you were showing him. As if he read your mind, he reached over the back of his head and tugged off his hoodie and tee all at once. You blinked, eyes wandering over his broad chest and shoulders. You had seen this all before, but not under these circumstances, and definitely not with the ability to be allowed to touch. Jinyoung hissed when your palm connected against his overheated skin.

“Dinner?” he echoed, letting out a chuckle. “Darling, the last thing on my mind right now is eating.”

His eyes flashed with sinful recognition of his statement and Jinyoung let out a groan. “Actually, I am hungry for something else.”

“We do this and you know it’s going to make us want it again and again.”

“Oh, I’m aware. I don’t think I’ll be done worshipping what you’ve presented me for weeks to come.”

A smile spread out your lips as you pushed yourself flush against him, angling your face towards his. “Only weeks?”

“I have a confession to make. I forgot about the pact we made last year until you mentioned it before. I just wanted you to know I was thinking about you today and sent the flowers. You’re the only Valentine I ever want.”

“Well then, Valentine,” you started, breath mingling with his, lips barely an inch apart. “You’re all I want too. I guess we should go work up an appetite.”

“And what if I make it so you’re too exhausted to cook?” Jinyoung asked as he walked you backwards into the wall, another gasp leaving you when his lips pressed into your neck. You angled your head with ease, allowing him to taste your already feverish skin.

“That’s okay. We can always order in. I’ll cook it tomorrow.”

“Good. Because the idea of letting you out of my bed tonight sounds unfathomable.”

And then his lips were on yours, sealing the deal. You couldn’t think of anything other than Jinyoung, of the taste of him, the feel of his hands squeezing and touching you everywhere. There was only this man within your mind and you were ready to be driven wild by him.

You squeaked when he finally navigated you both to his bedroom and your legs brushed against the edge of the bed. Jinyoung’s hands were on your back, unhooking the bra you had barely worn in front of him and reverently placing down on the comforter beside you. He shook his head.

“I got the better gift today,” he announced, and you laughed breathily, running your hand over his torso.

“We’re both about to be well rewarded for our efforts, don’t you think?”

_________________

All rights reserved © prettywordsyouleft

[GOT7 Masterlist] | [Main Masterlist]

[wannaeatramyeon]

Masterlist of Lookism ✨Storylines✨

Multi-parts/chapters

Lookism Masterlist | Part 2 ☞ (multi-character headcanons/dynamics)

Lookism Storylines ☞ (fun shit. mix of x reader and with reader) You're here!

Gun + Goo | Part 2 | Jake + Samuel | Vin + Ryuhei | Everyone else ☞ (single character-centric standalones)

... Even More Lookism Masterlist ☞ (different characters in same scenarios series)

How To Fight/Viral Hit Masterlist | Seong Taehoon

Goo Kim x Reader: School Days with Princess & the Delinquent

Goo, the delinquent waiting to join HNH. You, goody two shoes.

Index: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Epilogue

+ the most delicious art of the first scene by @garden1a

Gun Park x Reader : this is our place (we make the rules)

Gun has a new neighbour - You.

Index: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Epilogue

Unhinged F!Reader

You, the peak of the verse with a list of supposedly strong and powerful men to kill meet.

Gun Park | Goo Kim | Samuel Seo | Samuel Seo Part 2 | James Lee/DG | Jinyoung Park | Eli Jang | Tom Lee | Ryuhei Kuroda | Eugene | Vin Jin | Charles Choi | Daniel Park

SOS Men of Lookism: Emergency Bathhouse Meeting

A request to meet at the bathhouse is sent to all Lookism men.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4: Women of Lookism

Adventures of YOUR part time job in the Lookismverse

G/N. Platonic. You work the graveyard shift in a convenience store. Strange characters like to shop there.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

The Crew Heads (Jake, Eli, Johan, Samuel) with Reader

G/N. Standalone. Platonic. Maybe. You decide. Either way, you have these four men wrapped around your thumb.

Bro Code | Dinner | Shopping | Television | Gacha | Board Games | Suits

Young!Samuel Seo with Young!Reader: Convenience Store AU

G/N. A stray wanders into your family's convenience store

Leave him be | Dinner Guest | Doctors and Patients | Baby | Dragons

Meeting Student!Gun Park for the First Time

G/N. Remember when Gun wanted to get his GED? Well.

Part 1 | Part 2

Being Goo Kim's Secret Friend

G/N. Silly tomfoolery.

An Introduction | Gitae Kim (x Reader) |

[marvelous-llama]

GOT7 recs

most of the mentioned works is 18+ NSFW, MINORS DNI

tumblr is based on reblogs not likes, so please reblog and comment under works you like. Show love to the authors and appreciate their hard work

<<next chapters

pls don´t hesitate to hmu, if any of mentioned links doesn´t work or you have suggestions for more fics... thank you so much for all the love and comments

OT7

The Mafia by @inyournightmares97

The Inevitability of You by @yehet-me-up

Soulmate series by @fantastic-bby (Mark, Jaebeom, Jackson, Jinyoung, Youngjae, Bambam, Yugyeom)

Firework by @inyournightmares97

fake dating to real dating by @taexual (part 1, part 2)

one shots

Trust Issues by @jeonronwoo

Mark x gn!reader (wc - 1.7k) established relationship - angst, hurt/comfort

series

one shots

series

Suits by @bambikisss

Jaebeom x fem!reader (wc - 2.1k + 5.7k) strangers to lovers, CEO!reader, CEO!Jaebeom - fluff, smut, romance Being a CEO of a big company has its perks, except for meeting the one. After you sign up for a dating app for the elite 1 percent, you match with someone who is just as rich as you. Is love truly in the cards for you both? part 1, part 2

Through His Eyes by @prettywordsyouleft

Jaebeom x fem!reader - angst, romance, fluff, smut Losing your sight after your accident was traumatic, and Jaebum’s guilt of knowing it should have been him instead creates an intricate bond between you both, as you overcome adversity and try to find your way in life again.

Reconciliation by @prettywordsyouleft

Jaebeom x fem!reader exes to lovers, business AU - angst, fluff, smut, romance You had allowed yourself to be undervalued for too long, as a business partner and lover of Im Jaebum and so you left him for good. When you crossed paths again, not all was how you imagined it to be. Could you reconcile after all the pain?

one shots

nights like this by @babecoups

Jackson x fem!reader (wc - 2.8k) brother´s best friend, idiots to lovers - angst, smut, fluff You have the worst luck when it comes to relationships, but sometimes the right guy for you is the one you shouldn’t have feelings for in the first place.

Light On by @cas-skz

Jackson x fem!reader (wc - 1.8k) established relationship - fluff, smut Jackson returns home after traveling. To his surprise, you're waiting for him

series

one shots

Plot Twist by @kpopchangedme

Jinyoung x fem!reader (wc - 5.5k) enemies to lovers - angst, smut, fluff? Being locked up until tomorrow morning with your biggest rival in the Archery team might not be all bad after all...

Royal Flush by @bambikisss

Jinyoung x fem!reader (wc - 3.6k) friends to lovers, knight!Jinyoung, princess!reader - fluff, smut, angst Your best friend sneaks into your castle and keeps you company before he goes off to war, leading to feelings being revealed.

Making a Move by @milfgyuu

Jinyoung x fem!reader (wc - 2.7k) roommates, friends to lovers - humour, smut, fluff

series

Destined by @prettywordsyouleft

Jinyoung x fem!reader soulmates - angst, fluff, smut You craved meeting your soulmate, but you wished more than anything he could be your best friend, Mark. When Mark finally meets his soulmate, you get the chance to find yours and he’s not at all what you expected.

enough by @ahgaseda

Jinyoung x fem!reader mafia, exes to lovers - angst, smut to survive as a single woman in the big city, you resort to letting rich men pay for your company, but never anticipated that your first client would be the boy you once loved, Jinyoung.

The Trial Period by @prettywordsyouleft

Jinyoung x fem!reader enemies to lovers - angst, fluff, romance, suggestive When the perfect studio space comes up, you leap at the chance to take it. Except, so has Park Jinyoung, someone you have hated for the past three years. Given three months to share the space before deciding who will claim it, can you push Jinyoung out by the end of your trial period, or will you find that the tactics you both use leads to something unexpected?

one shots

Open Tab by @milfgyuu

Youngjae x fem!reader (wc - 5.1k) strangers to lovers - angst, fluff, smut, hurt/comfort A connection is made with a handsome bartender who offers you comfort, a slice of cheesecake, and so much more on your ruined evening.

The Seventh Wedding by @inyournightmares97

Youngjae x fem!reader (wc - 15k) strangers to lovers, mutual pining - fluff It took Choi Youngjae seven weddings to fall in love with you.

series

one shots

I Think I Love You by @milfgyuu

Bambam x fem!reader (wc - 2.1k) coworkers/friends to lovers - fluff, crack Bambam rescues you from the company party and makes a rooftop confession to you under the stars. It’s kind of magical.

series

one shots

oh my god, they were roommates by @babybirdgyeom

Yugyeom x reader (wc - 2.5k) roommates to lovers, mutual pining - fluff One night you couldn’t resist your roommate Yugyeom anymore and finally gave in.

series

[missgineaus]

but imagine a got7 demigod au:

in the modern era

gods are alive and still getting it and have lots of kids lol

monsters are real but ehh *vague hand gesture*

being a demigod sucks more than not cuz people want to use them for their powers if they have any

mark: son of aphrodite

doesn't speak alot cuz he might accidentally activate his charmspeak

Beautiful™ (inside and out)

very insightful about relationships and people in general cuz he’s much more observant than people give him credit for since they just think he’s a pretty face

doesn't speak a lot cuz people only want him for his looks and not for who he is and its very difficult for him to make friends but if you're a friend he is loyal forever

jackson: son of zeus

it’s why he can fly around everywhere so easily lmao -

gold looks hella good on this boi

wants to show he’s not all talk and is very humble and down to earth lol

very excitable and generally in a good mood

ambitious af

when he gets a little too excited sometimes he accidentally shocks people lol

people think he’s all brawn but he’s actually more brain

jinyoung: son of athena

smart af

literally a walking library

aggressively and sarcastically kind to people he loves

loves grandpa cardigans and gold plated curator spectacles probably

even if you think there’s no way for jinyoung to know the tea, he knows the tea

probably omniscient tbh lol

is ready to fite (ง’̀-‘́)ง at all times

jaebum: son of hades

Brooding™ and heavily misunderstood lol

black everything.mp3

loves flowers not bones

looks like he can beat you up with one punch but will try his hardest to resolve everything without violence first

cats, cats everywhere

it's rumored a glare from him can stop a person's heart

wants ghosts to stop bothering him lol

finds a lot of jewels randomly

bambam: son of dionysus

that's my that's my party

really knows his alcohol beers lol

he looks like a lightweight and is a lightweight haha poor child lol

knowledgeable about all mental illnesses

is a real smarty sweetheart even though people think he's just another thot

vines references for days lmao

feline grace

yugyeom: son of demeter

"you're part tree it's why youre so tol." park jinyoung, 2019

pronounces the names of grocery produce wrong just to piss people off lol

doesn't tend to a garden but does have a few succulents on his desk

brews the best tea

probably gives people bushels of corn as a gift to be funny

once gave jackson tea he grew and dried himself, and jackson cried cuz it's organic lol

youngjae: son of apollo

a literal sunshine

that one nephew artemis stans

once tried to shoot an arrow and shot someone in the ass accidentally lol

i bet his voice has healing powers

probably also a disney princess by how much the wildlife end up surrounding him when he does sing

not a seer but sometimes just knows how things will turn out

he's not allowed to participate in rock/paper/scissors anymore because of this lol

original twitter thread | originally posted 9 feb 2019

[mumuyah]

The Blunder

Jinyoung takes calculated risks. He ensures that the actions he take would have a desired outcome. One night, he commits a blunder.

reposted from my twt (mumuyah)

jinji au

do not plagiarize

"As Freud has shown, blunders are not the merest chance. They are the result of suppressed desires and conflicts. They are ripples on the surface of life, produced by unsuspected springs. And these may be very deep - as deep as the soul itself. The blunder may amount to the opening of a destiny." - Joseph Campbell, The Hero with a Thousand Faces

--------------

He wasn't usually like this. 

No, scratch that. 

He had never been like this. 

He had always been sharp and perceptive, able to manipulate individuals through a single word. He planned ahead; he studied the ticks and flaws of his foes first, always prepared for war. When people realize they were playing in a game, he had already won it. His years had been spent on reflective deliberation for a prosperous future. He will win at life. 

But this? 

This was beyond reason. And he was known to be a very reasonable person. 

This was a blunder. 

Something Park Jinyoung was not prone to do.

—

Fuck, ang sakit ng ulo ko. He didn't want to move. He would rather stay in bed all day and burrow in soft sheets to nurse his bloody headache. A day with nothing to do.

But that wasn't him. He didn’t laze around.

His head was throbbing hard. He couldn't remember what happened yesterday. This hadn't occurred before. He always knows. Anong nangyari kagabi?

Not remembering alarmed him. Complete with flashing red lights with an equally blaring siren ringing in his head. 

His brain took over and suddenly he was wide awake. 

He was in a room. White ceiling and plain walls. An armchair and a table near the window. The curtains were drawn. There was a lamp atop on an end table. His glasses folded neatly on the side. A fairly-furnished room. A bit dull. No personality or whatsoever. 

What am I doing in a hotel? And why am I naked? He spied his white shirt dangling on the armchair. Why he only noticed it now was beyond him. What puzzled him was why it was there and not on him. He never sleeps without his clothes on.

Jinyoung tried to move but he felt restricted; there was a weight on his body. A warm weight. No, a warm body. Lean and soft. A limb, perhaps? A lean, soft limb that was attached to a shoulder, attached to a head. A female head. A pretty, female head. With tangled black hair covering half of her face. Puffs of air making some of the strands float briefly.  

Sino 'to? 

He removed his arm from hers and sat up. Looked at her properly and belatedly noticed she was without clothes too. He glanced away. 

He wanted to panic then and there. But he remembered who he was. 

What the fuck happened last night?

He recalled the boys and the drinks, of course. They had gone out to play? No, to celebrate Jaebeom's successful business project. They were at a bar and they had too many drinks. Well, they had too many drinks. He never drank alcohol beyond his limit. At least he didn't until yesterday.

He peered at the stranger suspiciously. Her face did not elicit any memories from him at all.

He narrowed his eyes. Contemplated. Made a decision. 

He grabbed his shirt first. Then his boxers on the floor. Pants lain strewn by the bed. Socks inserted in his black oxfords. His blazer was in a sorry state near the door. 

Jinyoung was tucking his shirt neatly in his pants when she woke up. He froze in his spot. 

She sighed first, took several breaths before opening her eyes, still heavy with sleep. Blinked once, twice, thrice before it focused on him. He held his breath. A small smile graced her lips. And then, a raspy "good morning" escaped.

—Which snapped Jinyoung out of his suspended state. He inserted the hem of his shirt haphazardly now, then hoisted the zipper up of his pants before inserting his bare feet in his dress shoes. 

"Aalis ka na?" 

Obviously, he wanted to snap but he answered by balling his socks in his pants' pocket and fishing his phone out of his jacket. He didn't even look back when he closed the door on his way out.

—

On his way down in the elevator, he checked his phone. He had several missed calls and messages but he checked his email first out of habit. He sorted and flagged them by importance. He opened his text messages and was about to read Jackson's when Jaebeom's number flashed on the phone's screen.

He swiped.

"Fucking finally. It's about time you answered your goddamn phone!"

"And good morning to you, too."

"Tangina mo, we were worried about you. You disappeared on us!"

"Oh, did I?" Had he? Jinyoung looked at his reflection on the elevator's mirror. Mussed hair, rumpled shirt and wrinkled pants. Bloodshot eyes. A fucking wreck. 

"Yeah. Gago, na saan ka ba?"

"On my way home. I'll be at the office by 11."

"And the girl?"

He decided to ignore Jaebeom's question. "Make sure the team is prepped for today's meeting. Let's relay the good message."

He ended the call and leaned back. Tried to push the head-splitting headache with a massage on his temples. Hung over. He had never been hung over. 

First time for everything. 

—

He pieced yesterday's events from the snippets of messages sent by the boys. They had been at a snazzy bar when two girls approached their area. They'd flirted their way for free booze, stayed long enough to get high on alcohol and long enough for him to black out. But nothing about the girl. 

He didn't like not knowing. 

—

When he arrived in the office and relayed the "good message", Jaebeom cornered him in his office room.

"Where'd you go last night? 

"Nowhere."

"Nowhere pero wala ka sa bahay? I called your apartment and the security said hindi ka daw umuwi."

He ignored him. He hadn't even had coffee yet.

"Were you with the girl?" Jaebeom asked.

"What girl?"

"Yung girl na kasama natin kahapon malamang." Answered Jaebeom. 

"I don't remember any girl."

"Are you sure? E nawala rin siya nung na wala ka."

"I don't know where she went." A don't remember and a don't know in a minute. What a record-breaking day it is. Ilang beses na ba niyang na gamit at na isip iyon?

"But where did you really go? Nataranta na lahat noong napansin na nawala ka bigla. Si Yugyeom halos tumawag na ng pulis para magfile ng missing person report. Saan ka nga nagpunta?"

"Do I really have to answer this? Isn't this a moot point when I'm already here?"

Jaebeom stepped up. "It matters because you had us worried. Ano ba namang alam namin? Baka na aksidente ka na or what."

Will he leave him be if he tells the truth? "Fine. You want to know where I was? I was in a hotel, drunk as fuck. I wanted to sleep so I fucking slept there."

"Bakit hindi mo sinabi sa amin?"

"Whatever the fuck for? I'm an adult. I can do whatever I want. Kailangan ko pa bang ipaalam lahat ng gagawin ko?"

"That's not the point--"

"Then what is?" He challenged. He and Jaebeom had never butted heads before. They always saw each other eye to eye. Jaebeom didn't usually question him. Jinyoung had never given him the chance.

Jaebeom sighed. "Just tell us next time, will you? Hindi nang nagmumukha kaming tanga kakahanap sa'yo."

Whatever. "Fine. Pwede na ba akong magtrabaho?" He gestured to the door. 

Jaebeom left grumbling. The door closed but not before he heard, "So na saan na yung babae?"

—

The girl in question took him by surprise four months later when she approached him during his dinner.

In those last four months, he had had flashes of their encounter. Pliant lips against his own, fingers trailing her collarbone, nails digging in his back, a quiet muffled groan on his neck. Sweat and body liquid mixing. A satisfying release. No face, no words, just the still of the night and the pleasure of a company.

But he recognized her face from that morning. Black hair, heavy lidded eyes and lips that go well with a pretty head.

He didn't remember that slight bulge in her stomach though.

She sat across him in an area secluded inside a restaurant, seemingly nervous and scared. Jinyoung knew where this was going.

"How did you find me?" 

She started, frowned and twiddled with her thumbs. A tick. "I… didn't. Not this time anyway. I saw you in the news last week. I tried to look for you on Facebook after… after that morning pero hindi kita na hanap." 

As if he would waste his time on social media. 

"How did you know what name to search for?"

"Narining ko lang sa kaibigan mo that night. Junyoung? Jinyoung? I tried with those. I googled you but wala ring lumabas."

"Did you know who I was that night?"

"No, I… no. Sabi ni Joy—"

"So your friend knew but you didn't? Parang imposible naman 'yun."

"Um, no. Hindi niya rin alam. At least, not in the begi--"

Not in the beginning? So kailan pa? Noong na kama na niya kaibigan niya? "So, what do you want from me?"

"What?"

"By now, you already know who I am. You saw me in the news after all. I'm assuming you want something from me?"

"No, I… I don't know." She lowered her head. "That's not it."

Jinyoung leaned in. Mockingly, "You don't know? Not my name? My power? My money? Hindi ba yun yung pinunta mo dito?"

"No!"

He smirked. He knew he had her by the neck. "No? Are you sure?" Caught her eyes. "Are you sure that's even mine?"

"She's yours!" She said loudly and clearly. Surprised him a bit. A bit of her boldness shining through. But it dialed down, like her voice, down to a whisper. "I've never… You were my first. Walang iba."

Jinyoung scoffed. Unbelievable. "My friend says otherwise. He told me you came unto me. Multiple times. Mukhang sanay na sanay ka."

"That's not true! It was the other way around. You came unto me."

Napatawa siya ng malakas. "Me? Why would I want to waste my time on you?" He saw the hurt appear on her face. He pressed on. "You're no one."

Her lips quivered. Tears building in her eyes. She swiped them away before they fell. Unexpected. He had predicted water works as part of her plan. She had been using her fragility since the beginning of their talk after all. All the stuttering, avoiding his eyes, hunching over herself as if it would make her smaller. The tears should have been her first move.

"For your information, gusto ko lang na—"

"JISOO!"

Sabay silang napatingin sa may pintuan. An angry woman approaching them. 

"A-ate!" Jisoo stood and placed herself in between him and the newcomer.

"I told you not to go to him. Walang magandang maidudulot 'yan! He left after he had his way on you. Tapos hahabulin mo? Tanga ka ba?!"

The Ate turned to him. "And you! Wala kang kwentang tao. I hope you rot in hell!"

The people who had been ogling at them since earlier had the decency to look away when he threw them a glare. He sighed.

"Fuck," slipped from his mouth. 

"Yeah, fuck." The echo shocked him. He turned around and saw Jackson. "What the fuck was that?"

Putangina. He can't catch a break.

—

It was not supposed to be like this. 

Usually, it was Bambam on the hot seat and not him. He interrogated, found answers, if not demanded them. Not the other way around. 

"Why did you lie to us?" Jaebeom started. 

"It's none of your business." Sagot ni Jinyoung.

"Sagot, tangina!" Pasigaw ni Jaebeom.

"Uy pre, calm down nga."

"Bakit hindi mo sinabi na kasama mo yung babae? Hindi mo ba alam na halos mahimatay yung kasama niya kakahanap sa kaibigan niya?"

"Do you think we'd think lowly of you if you told us you had a one night stand?" Apila ni Jack.

Gustong tumawa ni Jinyoung. He opted for rolling his eyes instead. "Oh, please. You guys have done much worse."

"What the fuck does that mean?"

"It means you fuck around too much and too often. I did it once tapos ganito yung i-aasta niyo sa akin? Nakarinig ba kayo sa'kin? Give me a fucking break."

"We fuck but we also don't lead them hanging nor do we impregnate them, Jinyoung." Seryosong sinabi ni Jackson. 

"Wow, tangina, ang romantic." 

Jaebeom approached Jinyoung. "Quit the sarcasm, Nyoung. No one is saying we have the higher moral ground than you. Gago at tarantado rin kami pero papanugatan namin yun." 

"It was a mistake." 

"A mistake? You don't make mistakes."

Jinyoung snorted. "Yeah, unlike you."

Jaebeom threw a punch in Jinyoung's direction, landing one in his right cheek. He retaliated by planting one in his brother's opposite cheek. Jackson eventually pulled them apart but Jaebeom wasn't done yet.

"You were a mistake but my mom gave you a chance and treated you like her own child. Don't throw your family away. Don't make the same fucking mistake like yours did!"

—

Later, Jaebeom took his seat beside him, pulling out a cig and lighting it up. They were silent, as they always were, even in their younger years. They could always understand each other without using words. Well, they used too.

It was Jaebeom who spoke first. "When we were kids, you used to tell me everything. Yung mga hopes and dreams mo, mga takot mo… lahat nang pumapasok sa isip mo. Ngayon, parang binabaliwala mo na lang ako. May problema ba tayo?"

"No. Wala."

"You know I'm still your brother. You can tell me anything. The things I said earlier…"

"Well, it's the truth, right? I was a mistake. Na iniwan lang ako sa tapat ng bahay niyo parang isang kuting."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

"Honestly, it's fine. I've been hearing it all my life. Maybe not from you or our family but people talk about it all the time. I'm used to it." Jinyoung shrugged.

"I regret saying that you were a mistake, Nyoung, because you're not. I'm sorry. You know we love you, right? Ma, dad, me and Yeri. You're our family."

"I know."

An uncomfortable silence settled.

Jaebeom eventually broke it. "So, what're you going to do about the baby?" 

"I… Don't know."

"Ikaw? Hindi mo alam? Christmas na ba para magka-milagro?" Napatawa lang si Jaebeom. 

"First time for everything." Tumingin si Jinyoung sa kapatid niya. It was unusual for him to seek advice, as it is his role, but with this… he wasn't sure. He hadn't been since that night. "What do you think I should do?"

"Sa totoo lang? I think you should give yourself a chance to get to know them. Malay mo, baka mahalin mo rin sila."

—

When Jaebeom left, he picked up his phone, pressed 1 and waited for his call to be answered. It didn't take long. 

"Hi, ma."

"Hi, honey. Napatawag ka? I miss you na. You never go here anymore."

"Sorry, ma. Busy lang sa work. I'll drop by soon, I promise. How are you?"

"Hay, eto. Trying to convince your dad not to go to Hawaii so soon after the surgery. He wants to relax daw but you know how he is during flights, baka magkaheart attack lang mid-flight. Can you remind him that his doctor ordered him to rest? I'd ask JB, but alam mo naman. Dad only listens to you."

"Yes, ma."

"Pag sabihan mo rin si Yeri. She maxed out her card again. I told JB to cut her off, but hindi kaya nun. He's her favorite."

"Ok, ma." 

"How about you, hijo? How's my baby boy?"

"Ma naman. I'm not a baby anymore. Ang tagal na." His mother laughed, which made him smile. "I'm ok. Just… I wanted to ask you something."

"What is it?"

This had always plagued Jinyoung, growing up. When he realized he was different from the other kids. He had never found the courage to ask, afraid to find the answer. Or the truth that he was just a tool to be used. A charity case. 

"Why did you take me in?" 

"What's wrong, anak?"

"I just wanted to know. Why you've chosen to raise and love me. You didn't even know who I was. I was a dirty kid in rags."

"What're you saying? You were five. How can we abandon you like that?"

"You could've taken me to the police or social services."

"We could have but we didn't. You didn't want to leave us. Don't you remember? Iyak ka ng iyak when we told you someone would take you away to find your parents. You also ran and hid with JB because you didn't want to be apart from each other. Sabi pa nga niya sasama na lang daw siya sa'yo. Hahaha!" Napatigil saglit ang mom niya. "And how could we let go of you as well? You made dad laugh and made JB feel less lonely. You made me cry 'cause you said you'd take care of baby Yeri so I can get some rest. You made us love you so much we couldn't bear the thought of losing you."

Jinyoung tried to hold a sob back. "Why didn't you adopt me, then? Bakit Park pa rin ako?"

He could hear his mom break apart on the other line too. "You didn't ask, anak. We wanted to give you the choice to accept us as your family, not because we dressed you and fed you, but because you love us too. We wanted for you to be an Im too."

He was openly crying now. "Is it too late?" 

She was, too. "It's never too late, my love."

"Thank you, ma. I love you."

"I love you, my son."

—

He was trying.

He tried to look for her first. He didn't know much about her so he started with her name. Jisoo. Jisoo with an older sister and a friend named Joy. On his own, he looked for Jisoo on Facebook but the search results produced so many Jisoos that he didn't find the one. Eventually, he gave up and called someone to investigate and they found her in a day. 

Bae Jisoo was 26, unmarried, an undergraduate, lived with 30-year old sister, Bae Irene, 5 months pregnant. Worked in a bakery. Parents died when she was 12. Both sisters were raised separately by relatives but eventually lived together when she turned 15. 

Her information brewed into his head for a whole month before he decided to take action. 

He visited her workplace. A tiny bake shop. She was by the counter, reading a book while absentmindedly rubbing her protruding stomach. The bell chimed when he entered, with Jaebeom in tow, and she looked up with a bright greeting before it slowly faded into nothing. 

He stared at her. Still the same heavy-lidded eyes but darker circles underneath. Complexion pale but not sickly. Hair tied loosely behind. 

"Hi."

"Hello."

"Can we talk?"

"Ngayon na?" She looked around, worried. There was no one else except for the three of them. "I'm working."

"I can wait."

So he waited and considered his next move. He didn't wait for long, however. A girl barged in the bake shop. 

"Jisoo, wala na yung gusto mong juice. Iba na lang pinili--oh. Sorry. Customers?"

"Seul, it's okay. Thank you. Um, pwede ba akong magbreak sandali? Ok lang ba na dito ka muna?"

Seul looked at them skeptically. "Ok lang naman pero sino sila? Na saan si kuya?"

"Pumunta lang ng bangko. Pabalik na rin siguro. Mamaya ko na lang ki-kwento. Please." 

"Ok."

"Sa labas lang kami. Thank you." 

She went ahead. Jaebeom tried to follow but Jinyoung shook his head. They needed to sort this on their own. 

"If you need me…"  

"Thanks JB."

Pag labas niya, nakita niyang nakasandal si Jisoo sa pader. Madali niyang linapitan. "Are you ok?"

"Yes, I just need to sit down. I can't stand or walk for too long. Sumasakit likod ko." 

"Ok, we can sit over there." He nodded to a bench nearby. She waddled over to it and sat carefully. 

"How are you?" 

"I'm fine. You?"

"Fine."

He had a whole script memorized in his head about how the situation would go but silence ensued instead. Tried to recall the words but failed. 

Jisoo began instead. "Last time… I'm sorry about my Ate. Hindi ko natapos yung gusto kong ipa-hatid." She took a deep breath. "I really didn't know who you were then. Joy and I were just playing a stupid game. Malas lang na kayo yung naging ta

rget. Hindi ko naman talaga ginagawa yun pero… ewan ko ba. There was just something different about you. The things you said… I just wanted to comfort you. And it led to something else. It was a mistake."

She was twiddling with her thumbs again. A nervous tick then. "But it was a mistake that led to a beautiful blessing. And I… I just wanted you to know that." She looked at him. "I didn't want anything from you. I still don't." 

"Is it really mine?"

"Yes. Just you. No one else."

"Did I… do anything bad to you? That night?"

"If you're asking… no. Wala kang ginawang masama. We were both under the influence but you had my consent." 

"Ok." With his elbows on his knees, he looked at her. "Can you tell me what happened that night?"

"Alin? Kung paano natin ginawa yung baby?" She teased, which made him smile a bit. "I told you, didn't I? You came unto me."

"I'd never do it haphazardly, especially without not knowing who I was with first. I'm not the type of person."

"So you said then."

"What else did I say?"

"Marami. Sobrang dami."

"I'm not usually like that."

"Yes, I gathered. Have you heard of the expression, 'alcohol makes for loose lips and loose lips--"

"--sinks ships. Yes." What kind of incriminating thing did he say? Now he was getting anxious. "Can you answer my question now?"

"Okay. Sorry. Before Joy and I joined, you were already drinking heavily. Do you remember why? No? I didn't know either. You didn't tell me. Umalis ako para mag-CR tapos nagulat ako kasi sinundan mo ako. You told me that you felt out of place with your friends and that I also looked like I didn't belong there either." Jisoo bit her lips, shyly. "And that maybe we could belong together."

"Seryoso ka ba?"

"Ikaw yung nagtatanong tapos ayaw mong maniwala?" Jisoo rolled her eyes. "Pero, joke lang. Haha!"

"God, be serious."

"Fine! Killjoy nito. You then proceeded to tell me you were lonely and you wanted to be with someone who would understand. And then you kissed me."

"That's it? I didn't say anything else?" 

"Like what?"

"Something stupid? Embarrassing stuff? Things that will get me in trouble?"

"You said some embarrassing stuff…" She glanced at him and then away. Before coming back up. "But I'd rather not say it in public."

He cleared his throat. "Right."

"Pero… bakit nandito ka ngayon? Last time parang ayaw mong makipagusap." 

"Last time… I was a jerk. I'm sorry." He gestured towards her. "And I feel responsible for… this." 

Nanahimik lang si Jisoo. 

"I want to support you and the baby financially. I can give you provisions, anything you want. Kahit ako na ang sumagot ng lahat."

She frowned and was about to respond when someone called her name. She spotted Seungyoon advancing towards her.

"Jisoo."

"Kuya Yoon. Tapos ka na sa business mo sa bangko?"

"Oo. Ok ka lang? Sino siya?" Seungyoon nodded towards Jinyoung, eyeing him warily.

"Uh, siya yung--"

"I'm Park Jinyoung." He extended his hand for a shake. "And you are..?"

Tinignan ni Seungyoon yung kamay ni Jinyoung bago nakipagkamay. "Kang Seungyoon, pare."

"Siya yung owner ng bake shop." Jisoo supplied.

"Right."

"Nagtext si Irene. I-uwi na daw kita."

Sumimangot si Jisoo. "OA talaga nun ni ate. Wala pang 5. Undertime nanaman ba ako?"

"Alam mo naman yun." Seungyoon helped her stand up. He didn't let her hand go, Jinyoung couldn't help but notice.

"Um, bye." Jisoo waved her goodbye but Jinyoung wasn't finished yet. He fished his wallet and produced a small business card.

"You can think about it first. Once you make up your mind, you can call or message me." He handed it to her. 

She accepted it. "Ok. I will."

He watched her walk away. He pulled his phone out and called Jaebeom. "Let's go."

—

He didn't hear from her until two weeks later. In those weeks, he thought long and hard on how to break the news to his family and friends. There were many hindrances that seemed to follow him, his lack of time and words that won't come easily to him. One thing's for sure was that he had to hear her answer first before he made a move. 

Jinyoung was planning on visiting her again by the end of the week but he received a call from her right then. 

"J-Jinyoung?" But she sounded off.

"Bae Jisoo? What's wrong?"

"Ang ugh sakit. Tulungan mo ako." She whined at the other end.

Abruptly, he stood up and went to fetch his coat on the rack, all while speaking to her on the phone. "Where are you? Fuck, manganganak ka na ba?"

She groaned. "I don't know. Ayoko manganak sa CR ng company building niyo. Help me, please."

He stopped before he could open the door. "What? Anong ginagawa mo dyan? Which floor?"

"I w-wanted to--ow--talk to you. Bilisan mo. Nasa first floor ako, last cubicle."

"Fuck, ok. Wait, I'll send someone over. Hang in there. I'll call you in a minute. Don't give birth there."

She was crying now. "Ok."

Jinyoung rang Jaebeom. "Hey, can you go or send someone in the women's bathroom on the ground floor? Last cubicle."

"What?"

"Jisoo's there. Manganganak na ata. I can't go there. Baka magka-skandalo pa." 

"Seryoso ka ba? Tangina, wait. I'll send Yeri over. Nandito siya sa office ko ngayon."

"Not Yeri, God. Blabber mouth yan, hindi ko pa nasasabi kayla Dad." Jinyoung was pacing in his office, biting his thumb.

"Puta, eh sino? Ako? Eh di ako naman ang nalagot. Yeri's fine. Bribe ko. Pababain ko na lang. Tangina, manganganak na? Why is she here if she's about to give birth?"

"I don't know. Bye." A second later, he rang Jisoo. "Hey, my sister will come over there to pick you up. How are you?"

"Ang sakit-sakit. Punta ka na, please. Dalhin mo ako sa hospital." 

"Susunod ako. My youngest sister will bring you there." She was crying on the other side and trying to hide her hiccups. "Bakit ngayon pa?"

"I'm s-sorry. I didn't plan it."

"Nobody did." He replied, which felt like the wrong thing to say at the moment, but he couldn't help it. Everything was going shitty so fast. He hadn't even had time to thoroughly think about his proposal about supporting them. 

Just then, he could hear Yeri's voice echoing in the receiver, calling out a hello, Jisoo? Kuya said to look for you. Helloooo? 

"That's her. Sumama ka sa kanya and let her know which hospital you want to go. Susunod ako after."

"Ok."

He hung up when he noticed Jaebeom entering his office. He returned to his seat, massaging his temples. 

"Now what?"

"Yeri's bringing her to the hospital. Of all people pa. Why was she even here?"

"Just wanted to complain about something. I told her to be discreet, don't worry. No funny business." Jaebeom looked at him strangely. "Bakit nandito ka pa? Hindi ka ba susunod?"

"Mamaya na." At his brother's raised brow, Jinyoung shook his head. "It's 3 in the afternoon, JB. I have work to do."

"And your baby momma's about to give birth. So ano na, Nyoung?"

"You know I can't just… I have a lot on my plate."

Jaebeom sighed heavily. "Tangina. Fine. I'll do you a favor just this once. Sasamahan ko ngayon pero next time, please. Ikaw na ang umasikaso. This is your child for God's sake." He was about to leave when he turned around. "Jinyoung, I know work is important to you as well but you have other priorities now. Pag tumawag si Yeri, and you know she will, sagutin mo. Tell her the truth."

"I will."

—

"Hello, Yeri." 

"Kuya, oh my God?! You have a baby?! And a wife?!"

"Hello, Ye. And no. Not my wife nor my girlfriend. It's complicated. But yes, my baby, I think."

"Since when? When did you plan to tell me?"

"I was going to tell you soon. Kaso… well, nabuko na. Just don't tell mom and dad first, okay?"

"Kuya JB said din. I won't tell them, I promise. Pero kuya, you should've been here. She was so scared! I was so scared! I couldn't understand what the doctor was saying."

"I'm sorry."

"She kept asking for you. Where are you daw or like, are you on your way? She was so kawawa, kuya."

"I'll be there in an hour. Just tying up some loose ends here."

"Ok. She's sleeping right now so I shouldn't be noisy. You have to tell me the whole story, later. Kuya JB and I will go home soon. So hurry up, ok?"

"I will. Thanks, Ye. Ingat sa pag uwi."

—

He had planned on making the trip brief as much as possible. Jinyoung was hoping she'd still be asleep by the time he got there but as such, she was awake and spacing out.

He approached her quietly, as to not startle her. "Hey. How are you?"

"Hey." She smiled weakly. He stood at her side, awkwardly. "I'm okay. False alarm."

"What did the doctor say? Why were you in pain?"

"Oh, uh, fake contractions lang. Braxton-Hicks yung tawag. It will happen from time to time daw. But it shouldn't be that serious or painful. Medyo mababa lang talaga pain tolerance ko."

"Okay."

Jisoo tried to sit up but had difficulty in doing so. Jinyoung had to support her back and shoulders to be fully seated upright. When she was settled, she had her hands around her round belly but she wasn't looking at him anymore. "Bakit ngayon ka lang? Kanina ko pang gustong umuwi."

"Aren't you staying in the hospital?"

"No, I can't afford it plus wala akong guardian."

"Ako na ang bahala sa payment. And what do you mean wala kang guardian? Didn't you tell your ate where you are?" He crossed his arms.

"No."

"And why not? Won't she wonder kung na saan ka ngayon?"

"Magagalit lang yun pag nalaman niyang… I'll tell her I'll be at a friend's house until tomorrow morning. Tsaka, hindi pa tayo naguusap." She glanced at him. "Pwede kang umupo."

So Jinyoung sat on the lone chair by her bed. He was still in his suit jacket and slacks. Not the most comfortable outfit to wear in the hospital to be honest. He removed his blazer and laid it by her feet. 

"I want to accept your help. Whatever you're willing to give." Jisoo started. "But let me be clear: I'm not after your money. I want you to be a part of her life. Ayoko siyang lumaki na hindi niya kilala ang ama niya o isipin niyang wala siyang tatay. Mahirap kapag walang magulang, Jinyoung. I don't want her to experience it. That's the only trade off. Is that ok?"

"I also have to tell my family about it eventually. They would want to be a part of the baby's life too."

"That's fine by me. Just… you need to be there with her too. Not just me."

"We'll sort out the details later." He should leave now. It was late and she should be getting more rest. But Jinyoung noticed her wincing and hunching over her stomach before he could grab his suit jacket and prepare to leave. He leaned over the railings. "Are you ok? Is it the fake contraction again? Should I call the doctor?"

She grabbed his hand and squeezed it. "Ok lang ako. That's not it. She's just moving around. Medyo makulit siya. Here, you can feel her too." She pulled his hand to her stomach. 

Jinyoung felt a thump against his palm and then a wallop. "Weird."

Jisoo chuckled. "Super weird. Makulit like me, I guess."

When the baby stopped moving, he withdrew his hand and hid it in his trouser's pocket, stretching his fingers. It was a strange sensation, touching her bump, like a balloon filled with water inside being swung to him that won't break.

"Can you stay with me tonight?"

"Wala ka bang ibang matatawagan para masamahan ka? Yung Seul or Seungyoon dun sa shop?"

"Pag tinawagan ko sila, malalaman ni ate kung na saan at kung bakit ako nandito."

"How about Joy? From the bar?"

"Hindi kami naguusap ngayon. Well… not exactly. Pinagbawalan akong kausapin si Joy ng ate ko."

"Is your sister's word the law? Are you a kid para pag bawalan ka pa? Bakit parang takot na takot ka sa kanya?"

"It's not like that. Ate Irene is very kind and loving. Halos siya ang nagpalaki sa akin nung namatay parents namin. She went through so much para i-try kaming buhayin. Ayoko lang siya ma-disappoint ulit."

Malalim huminga si Jinyoung. Napagisip. Pero hindi na lang sinabi ang napag-tanto niya. Besides, if he was to spend the night at the hospital, he wouldn't want to upset yung kasama niya. Magiging awkward lang ulit sila. Hinablot na lang niya yung jacket niya para ilagay sa likod ng upuan. Mahirap na baka magusot pa lalo.

"Aalis ka na?" Tanong ni Jisoo, tulad ng tanong niya ng umagang yun, 6 months ago. Tinignan lang siya nito, na parang hinahanda niya ang sarili niya sa sagot na maririnig. Naitatakuwil siya. 

Hindi na siya nagpaliwanag at tinulungan na lang ulit ihiga si Jisoo, habang pinagmamasdan ito hanggang sa pag tulog.

Jinyoung was never a light sleeper, so as soon as he heard someone talking and felt someone touching his hair, he woke up. It was Jisoo, of course he knew that. Normally, he would shrug anyone off who would dare touch him but he was mildly curious. He kept still and just listened.

"Sana kamukha mo dada mo. Sana lahat ng maganda, mamana mo sa kanya. Gwapo dada mo, baby. Makapal din buhok. Hindi katulad ni mommy na ang nipis. Pero sana hindi mo mamana yung ugali niya, wala atang sense of humor yun. Simangot lang alam. Hahaha! Shh, secret lang natin yun baby. Baka simangutan ulit ako."

Oh? Walang sense of humor? Simangot lang ang alam? We'll see about that.

Slowly, Jinyoung raised his head and turned to look at her, keeping a steady eye contact before giving her a small smile. "Good morning."

This seemed to startle Jisoo, who blinked once, twice, thrice, before snatching her hand away from his hair. His smile grew wider. 

"Hi. Narinig mo yun?"

"Ang alin?" He feigned, which made her relax a bit, but not for too long. "Yung part na wala akong sense of humor, simangot lang ang alam o yung gwapo ako?"

She flushed red at that and was so flustered she hid her face in her hands. He chuckled. 

"Good morning, Ate Jisoo, I---oh kuya! You're here!" Yeri greeted. She turned around and talked to the person behind her. It was Jaebeom. "Kuya, he's here. I told you he'll visit her."

"Yeri, what are you doing here?" Napatayo bigla si Jinyoung.

"We brought breakfast for Ate Jisoo!" She emphasized with the paper bag in her hand. "Kuya JB said she might be hungry eh."

"She wouldn't call anybody when we left her after dinner. Hindi rin ako sure kung pupunta ka ba...  Baka di pa siya kumakain." Jaebeom looked at him, up and down. "Did you stay the night?"

"Yeah." He said while trying to get rid of the crick in his head. His shoulders were also stiff from his sleeping position last night. He didn't look at Jaebeom. He might say something he wouldn't want to hear so early in the morning.

"Ate Jisoo, you're so red! Are you okay? Do you have lagnat?" Yeri came to her side and checked her temperature. "Hmm."

"Ay, um, I'm ok. Thank you. Anong food na dinala niyo? Ang bango."

"Oh, these are just veggies, eggs, beef and rice. Our nanay made it so masarap."

"Tapsilog, yun lang yun." Pasabi ni Jaebeom, habang linalabas yung tupperware na may kanin, itlog at tapa. Meron ding longganisa at bangus. Salad. "I didn't know what you liked so nagdala ako ng extra."

"Wow. Salamat, ha." Nginitian niya si Yeri with a lot of affection. "Sana kasing cute and sweet mo yung baby." Sabay tingin kay Jinyoung. "Kain na tayo?"

"I'm just going to buy coffee. You want anything?"

"I can't have caffeine. Water na lang, please."

"Right, okay." 

"Sabay na ako." Inakayan bigla ni Jaebeom si Jinyoung bago pa ito magprotesta. Bata pa sila nung huli niyang ginawa to. When they spotted the vending machine, he removed his arm around Jinyoung. He crossed his arms and leaned next to the vending machine. "Since when did you start liking cheap coffee?" 

Hindi niya sinagot. Hinintay niyang magawa ang kape niya. 

"You slept here?"

"Hadn't I answered that already?" 

Napatawa lang si Jaebeom. "I'm glad you chose to follow my advice. Have you guys talked about the situation? Ano na ang gagawin niyo?"

"We talked. Pumayag siya na tumulong ako." 

"I'm guessing there's a catch?"

"Yeah. She said she wants me to be a part of the baby's life." He took a sip of the coffee. Awful. "Whatever that means."

"Right. So ano na ang sasabihin mo kayla mom and dad?"

"I don't know. I just have to do it before akong maunahan ni Yeri. Alam mo naman yun." He reached for the vending machine again to get Jisoo her water. "I'll find time to do it soon. Oh, saan ka pupunta?"

"Sa office. Thursday pa lang. I have work to do." At Jinyoung's panic expression, Jaebeom laughed. Siya pa ang nakalimot na weekday pa rin? How unlike him. "You can afford to be late or take a day off, Nyoung. Tatakbo pa rin ang kumpanya without its VP rep. Hatid mo na lang si Yeri pati yung baby momma mo pauwi. Later!" He waved his goodbye and walked away. 

Jinyoung hurried over to Jisoo's room. How could he forget that it was only Thursday? He had things to finish at the office as soon as possible. Jisoo was still eating when he arrived while chatting with Yeri happily. He grabbed the jacket and slung his arms in it. 

"Kuya, aalis ka na?"

"Aalis na tayo. I'm going to settle the bill and get the car going. Do you have a class today? Do you have work?"

Yeri nodded while Jisoo shook her head. "Ok, text me when you guys are done." 

—

Jinyoung dropped Yeri at school first. It was past 10 in the morning already. He should've been in the office an hour ago. He was debating whether to go home or just shower in the office when Jisoo told him to stop in front of a run down building. Her apartment building. They've arrived. 

She was unclasping her belt and thanking him when she muttered a "shit" under her breath. Her eyes focused behind him. Napatingin siya at napamura rin ng "shit."

Yung Ate.

Yung Ate na nakatitig ng masama sa kotse niya. Malakas ang loob ni Jinyoung na alam niyang nandoon si Jisoo. 

"I'll talk to her."

"Um, is that a good idea? Ako na lang ang bababa at kakausap kay ate." 

"No, we should settle this as soon as possible." Technically, he didn't have the time to do this but he didn't want to delay it further. He undid his belt and didn't wait for her to get out of the car. In hindsight, he should've known that it was a bad idea. The last time he saw the Ate, he was told to go to hell. Maybe he should've listened to Jisoo after all, because as soon as he was seen by the ate, she charged at him with so much ferocity that even with her petite appearance, she looked menacing. 

.

"Why the fuck are you here?" She glowered at him. "And where the fuck is my sister?"

"Ate, please. Wag kang sumigaw." Jisoo was already at her sister's side. She was quick despite her state. 

"And you! Staying at a friend's house? I went to the Kang's place pero wala ka doon. Nakuha mo pang magsinungaling? Eh kasama mo lang pala 'tong gagong 'to!"

"Nagusap lang kami. For the baby. Ate Irene, please sa loob na lang natin pag usapan." Himawakan niya ang braso ng Ate niya. 

"Para saan pa? Magsisinungaling ka lang rin naman sa harap ko. Be honest, Jisoo. Ano bang habol mo dito? His money? His name?"

"It's not like that. Can you calm down and listen first?" Jinyoung interjected.

"You fucking stay out of this. We wouldn't be in this shit if it wasn't for you!"

She was getting on his nerves. Fuck. He was trying to offer his assistance tapos ganito lang yung ibabalik sa kanya? "How can I help if you wouldn't listen? This isn't even for you but for the baby."

"Oh, now he cares. Ang galing mo rin eh." Irene crossed her arms and gave him a sneer. "Nasaan ka the last 6 months habang umiiyak at nagsusuka yung kapatid ko dahil delicate ang pregnancy niya? Where were you when you left her in a fucking hotel room, scared to shit because she was in pain? It wasn't you who helped her get back to her feet. It was you who left her in pieces." 

"Is that important now? I'm here, aren't I? I'm taking responsibility."

"Good for you. But it's too late for that." She grabbed Jisoo's arm and started pulling her away from Jinyoung. But Jisoo stood her ground and shrugged her sister off. 

"Ate, please. Makinig ka muna. He'll do good. He's making up to us." 

"Is this your decision?" Irene gave Jisoo a leveled look. "Are you choosing him over me?"

"Ate, no! Hindi sa ganun pero--"

"Fine. Simula ngayon, wala na akong kapatid. Wag ka nang babalik dito. Hindi na kita kailangan."

"Ate?" Jisoo blinked. Jinyoung, too, was confused.

"I'll leave your things at Seungyoon's. Kunin mo na lang. You can pick it up tonight. I don't ever want to see both of you again."

Irene left.

Jisoo was visibly shaken by Irene's outburst. She didn't even realize that she was crying. Jinyoung had to keep an arm around her, lest she fell. She looked like she was about to. He tried to console her but they were in the middle of a public area and people were already looking. He gently guided her to the car and into the passenger's seat and sat her down, fastening her seat belt on. He crouched at her side. 

"Jisoo. Jisoo, please stop crying. She's just mad. She doesn't mean it. We'll let her cool down first. I'll take you home. You can stay with me. Ok?"

He didn't let her answer. He got in the driver's seat and was clutching the wheel when she grabbed his hand. She was trembling, still in tears, and she needed him to comfort her. But Jinyoung was never good at comforting anyone. Not even himself. He removed her hold on him. He squeezed her once before folding her arm back to her side. "Jisoo, I have to drive. Don't cry, please." 

Jinyoung started driving and quickly lost himself that he didn't even notice that Jisoo had stopped crying and had been in a deep state of slumber when they arrived at his apartment. He shrugged the belt off and was about to wake her up but thought better of it. 

She was quietly whimpering while sleeping. He reached out and tried to swipe away the tear-stained tracks on her cheeks with his thumb. What a fucking day and it was only after 1 in the afternoon.

He produced his phone out from his coat pocket. "JB, I might not drop by the office today. Can you let my secretary bring my laptop and tablet to my apartment? I'll work at home for the meantime… no, yeah. Yung Ate niya. Ok. Yes, that would be great. Thanks."

"Aalis ka na?" 

"Sorry, did I wake you up?" Hindi sumagot si Jisoo. Hindi niya maipinta ang mukha ng babae. May lungkot pang bakas ang ito, pero walang buhay ang mga mata. Hindi niya gusto ang itsura nito. "Hindi ako aalis. Sasama ka sa akin."

At his answer, she nodded and glanced at his hand. This time, he reached for hers and held it against his own. "You can stay with me."

—

At 3, his work space was set up and Jisoo was asleep in the guest room. He was talking to Jaebeom on the phone.

"Nagwala yung Ate niya sa labas. Pinalayas si Jisoo. Hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko."

"Let her stay with you. Hangga't sa magkabati sila."

"Obviously. Pero ayoko siyang magisa lang dito."

"Work from home?"

"No, I can't. I have to be physically in the office because we're still in the transition phase."

"Maybe it's time to tell our parents."

"You think so? I'm worried because of dad's condition. Baka mabigla sila masyado."

"'Sus yun pa! Matagal ng humihingi ng apo sa akin yun, sa'yo pa ba? It's fine. Worse case scenario baka ipakasal kaagad kayo to make it official. But I don't think they'd be mad or disappointed. Alam mo naman yun…"

"Yeah, maybe. I'll give ma a call on Saturday. Or have them come over." Before Jinyoung dropped the call, he asked Jaebeom for a favor. He had him fetch Jisoo's things at the bake shop. He didn't have any women's/maternal clothes lying in his closet after all. 

He thought about what Jaebeom said. If his parents asked him to marry Jisoo for the sake of propriety, would he? He understood that some marriages weren't always built on love and this one was exactly like that, but committing to someone was something more permanent and significant he saw in his forthcoming years. At this point in his life, he wished to excel more in his career and achieve greater heights. Prove himself to be worthy. But being tied down to obligations he didn't intend to have yet was going to make it complicated. She wasn't part of the plan. They weren't part of his future. 

He felt a grip of sheer dread at the image of his failure and disappointment because of one tiny blunder. He should've known better than to bet against his own judgement. Why? Why did he have to do something so preposterous that night? What had gotten into him?

Jinyoung's attention was so misplaced that he barely heard the doorbell ringing and didn't notice Jisoo waking up to open his front door. It was when he did hear the door close that he chose to go out of his home office and check whether Jaebeom had gotten the stuff he was asking for. To his surprise, it wasn't his brother in his house but Jisoo's friend from the shop.

"Nagkita na kayo before. Seulgi si Jinyoung. Jinyoung si Seulgi." Madaling pakilala ni Jisoo.

"Um, hi. Pinadala lang sa akin yung gamit ni Jisoo." Binaba ni Seulgi yung bag na puno ng damit ni Jisoo at itinabi sa gilid. Pinunas niya ang kanyang mga kamay sa kanyang pantalon. Kabado. 

"Kamusta na si Ate? Anong sabi niya?" 

"Sabi lang niya kapag may naghanap na ng gamit mo, ibigay na lang. Wala siyang ibang sinabi. Ano bang nangyari? Bakit niya inimpake mga damit mo? Anong ginagawa mo dito? Ok ka lang ba?"

Too many questions. Not enough time. Not enough patience. "Pinalayas siya. Dito muna siya. Makakaalis ka na." 

Nagulat lang sa pabiglang sagot ni Jinyoung ang dalawang babae. Ngunit hindi niya na pinansin at muling bumalik sa kwarto para magtrabaho. 

As soon as he was inside his room, he regretted saying it. What the fuck is my problem?

Jisoo came in a few minutes later. She stood with her back against the door of his office, her distress and unease evident on her face. "You didn't have to say it like that."

Jinyoung didn't turn around and sighed. "I'm busy."

"I just want to know kung bakit ganun kang umasta. Hindi mo siya kilala. At kahit kilala mo pa siya, hindi mo pa rin dapat kausapin ng barubal."

Jinyoung scoffed and turned to her, crossing his arms. "Ano ba ang dapat at hindi ko pwedeng sabihin? Ka anu-ano mo ba yun at dapat pang kwentuhan ng nangyayari sa buhay mo?"

"Kaibigan ko lang naman siya pero tinuturing kong pamilya kaya wala kang karapatan na pag salitaan siya nang ganun."

"Bakit hindi ka na lang sa kanila tumuloy? Tutal wala rin naman tayong relasyon. Hindi naman kita pamilya at wala rin naman akong pakielam sa'yo!" Pasigaw na sagot ni Jinyoung. He could see how much his words hurt Jisoo but it wasn't like he could take the words back. And it wasn't like it wasn't the truth. 

"You're right. Sorry, nagassume ako." With that, Jisoo finally left him alone. 

Jinyoung pushed the incident at the back of his mind and went back to work. He didn't know how long he stayed like that, and it wasn't until his stomach grumbled that he realized how late it had turned. It was already half-past 8. He wondered if Jisoo had eaten.

But Jisoo wasn't there. She wasn't anywhere in the apartment. 

He called Jaebeom. "She's not here. I don't know where she is. I think she left."

"She did." 

"What? How did you..?"

"Seulgi told me. She's at Seulgi's." He heard Jaebeom sigh. "Gago ka talaga, Nyoung. Sana hindi mo na lang siya dinala dyan kung paalisin mo lang rin."

"It wasn't like that."

"It's exactly like that. Pag alis daw ni Seulgi pagkatapos mong bastosin, madali ring lumabas si Jisoo buhat-buhat yung mga gamit niya. Umiiyak. Buti hindi pa nakaka-alis sa building si Seulgi kung hindi, saan na pupulitin yung mag-ina mo? Tangina, Jinyoung. Hindi na kita maintindihan." 

"Sa tingin mo ako, alam? What the fuck should I do then? Mukha namang, you've got it figured out." 

"Kailangan mo pa bang itanong yan, you selfish asshole? Be a decent person. Treat her as an equal and get off your high horse!" 

Binabaan siya ni Jaebeom pagkatapos sermonan. Gustong ihagis ni Jinyoung yung telepono pero nag pigil siya at binuksan ang messages niya para hingin kay Jaebeom yung number at address nung Seulgi. 

—

At 10, Jinyoung was parked outside Seulgi's place. Currently, he braced himself with his arms on the steering wheel, hunched down. 

He had been there for 10 minutes. He had been considering going up and fetching Jisoo, which he knew was the right and proper thing to do, but shame and pride ate his thoughts first. Last time, he had Jaebeom to encourage him to approach her but now he only had himself. 

A thought passed. It's late anyway. Baka tulog na. I should just pick her up tomorrow. 

Reaching a decision, he prepared to leave but halted when Jisoo appeared outside the building. He regarded her. 

QNaka tayo lang siya sa labas habang hinihimas yung tiyan niya, kinakausap nanaman siguro yung baby. Tumitingin-tingin sa paligid paminsan-minsan. Mukhang may hinihintay.

Seeing her made Jinyoung gather his courage and opened his car to approach her. She recognized him immediately. Although he spotted something akin to delight in her appearance for a brief second, she quickly masked it in favor of mild upset.

Nagkatinginan lang sila. Tapos sabay na---

"Uwi na tayo?"

"Galit ka pa ba?"

Napangiti lang si Jinyoung. Si Jisoo naman, kinagat lang ang labi. "Hindi na ako galit. I'm sorry about earlier. I'm sorry I was rude to your friend."

"Hindi ka dapat sa akin nagso-sorry. Kay Seulgi dapat."

"And I did. Sa text. Pero pwede ko rin siyang kausapin ng harap-harapan."

"Tulog na siya."

"Ikaw? Bakit hindi ka pa tulog? Hinihintay mo ba ako?" Jinyoung teased.

Jisoo rolled her eyes. "Bakit naman kita hihintayin? Di ba pinaalis mo ako sa bahay mo? Wala ka ngang pakielam, di ba?"

"Jisoo… I'm sorry I said those things." He looked at her straight in the eye. "It wasn't exactly a lie. I don't know you well enough to care about you. But I'm here, aren't I? And I told you: you can stay with me. Until the thing with your sister thaws out."

She blinked. "You're here for me?"

He nodded. "Let's get your things para makauwi na tayo at makapagpahinga ka na." 

"Ok."

—

"So, how's married life?" 

It was Friday night and like any other Friday nights, he and the boys were drinking out. 

Jinyoung threw an irked glance at Jackson, who was grinning at him like the fool that he was. He was nursing his first drink of the night. He swirled his whiskey and didn't bother correcting him. He knew he and Jisoo weren't married.

That didn't stop Jackson from pestering him though. "I heard that women, who are pregnant, are extremely hormonal. So? Ano na ba? Naka round two ka na ba kay missus?"

He didn't bother answering.

"Boss, isa ngang Jack D diyan." Bambam came over to their place in the bar and squeezed between Jackson and Jinyoung. He faced Jinyoung. "Pare, ang hina mo naman. Hindi ka naman ganyan a few months ago. Inom pa. It's on me."

"Ayaw ng malasing niyan. Natatakot baka may magawa nanaman." Jackson guffawed at his own joke. Bam was clearly puzzled but joined Jackson anyway. 

He hadn't told the others about his situation yet. He didn't want to. 

Jinyoung rolled his eyes and drank his alcohol in one go. He stood up and went over to the others. He flopped beside Youngjae, who was busy on his phone; he'd been preoccupied with his phone ever since arriving in the bar. Briefly, he wondered if it was a woman. Or work. He could never tell with Youngjae. 

He raised his hand for another and asked for a Napoleon. He took a sip when he was handed one before downing it all. He asked for bourbon next but it didn't last long before he asked for another one, one after the other, until he couldn't keep track of the liquor he'd practically inhaled.  

The boys were throwing him worried looks but he didn't concern himself with it. They were going to start asking questions; questions he didn't want to answer. 

"I think that's enough." Jaebeom said as he watched him take up another shot. He upped it before he could be stopped. "Where are you going?"

It took a lot of his willpower not to slur his speech. "I'm going to take a piss. Bakit? Sama ka?" He didn't wait for him to answer. 

Jinyoung took a leak, washed his hands and exited the restroom, only to find Jaebeom leaning outside with his arms crossed. He had a stern look on his face, reminiscent of their dad's look when he was about to scold them for fighting. 

Jinyoung didn't like it. "You don't have to follow me around. I'm not a kid."

"But you're acting like one."

He sighed. "What do you want, JB?"

"Why are you still here, Jinyoung?"

He was buzzed but that didn't cloud his sharpness. He knew which direction this talk was going. Didn't mean he could pretend and feign ignorance. "Traditionally, we get sloshed on Fridays. Well, Yugyeom does anyway." 

Jaebeom scowled. He knew him too well to see through the act. "Jisoo's waiting. Umuwi ka na, Nyoung."

"No one asked her to." 

"She wants to though, because she's worried."

"How would you know? Hindi naman kayo close."

"Informed ako. Unlike you."

"Informed by Seulgi? Please, JB. Spare me. Alam ko na yang mga galawan mo. You think I wouldn't figure it out after you sent her to my apartment with Jisoo's belongings? Don't make it more complicated than it is by involving yourself with her."

"Leave Seulgi out of this." Jaebeom was clenching and unclenching his fist, Jinyoung observed. He clearly touched a nerve when he mentioned Jisoo's friend. Curious. 

Surprisingly, Jaebeom didn't dwell on the Seulgi issue. "Be honest, Jinyoung. Bakit ayaw mong umuwi? Ilang araw ko ng napapansin na nago-over time ka for no apparent reason. As if you're avoiding the thought of going home."

Right in the mark. Jaebeom could be observant if he wanted to. "Stay out of my business."

"What are you afraid of? That you would grow to like the mother of your unborn child? Na magkakasundo kayo?" Jaebeom continued, sarcasm dripping from his tone. "God forbid that your child would be raised in a home and have parents who get along."

"Who said anything about raising the baby together?" Of course, he had forethought about their living arrangements. Jaebeom's confusion about the whole thing was laughable. Did he really think it was wise to have Jisoo and their child stay at his place? "Don't be dull, JB. The child might be mine but Jisoo and I are nothing. I'll provide for them and our family will see the kid pero hanggang doon na lang yun."

"And what if we want more? What if dad or mom demand for more than just seeing the kid occasionally? What if they want to have a relationship with the baby? To be a part of the family? What if your child wants to be with you? Both you and Jisoo?" 

"The baby isn't even born yet. This is all hypothetical. We'll cross the bridge when we get there." Jinyoung pressed on. "But make no mistake, JB. It's not their choice to make now or in the future. Whatever I see fit will follow."

They had a stare off. And it seemed no one would back away until Jaebeom shook his head with a grim look on his face. "Bahala ka na sa buhay mo. Just go the fuck home tonight."

—

He didn't go home until 2 in the morning. 

He let Bambam drag him away with Youngjae to another bar when the rest left. He drank until he couldn't stand straight. It was a miracle he was able to get home on his own without serious injury.

Jisoo was on the couch sleeping. Hands tucked under head. Belly portruded. Feet planted on the floor. It was an uncomfortable position. 

He crouched in front of her but couldn't keep his balance and stumbled and hit the coffee table with a thud.

It woke Jisoo. 

"Kakauwi mo lang?" She asked, trying to rub the sleep away from her eyes. "Gawa mo diyan?"

"Hi." 

She scrunched her nose. "Baho mo. Uminom ka?"

"Yep." He beamed, popping the P in the end. "With Bam and Jae. You don't know them."

Her brows were knitted. Haha. Cute. "Akala ko kasama mo si JB?"

"Yesss. Nope. Fought. 'Cause'uv you." He was slurring. He made an effort not to slur and not to elongate some of his sounds.

"Me? I didn't do anything." 

"Uh-huh. Did too. 'Cause you care."

Jisoo pouted. I'm going to kiss it away. "Come on. Let's get you to bed."

He stifled a laugh. "You said that last time. You took me to bed but I took you instead. Kissed you, kissed me back. Wanna kiss you."

"Lasing ka lang." She held out her hands. "Up. Come on."

"Not a dog." He didn't take her offer and chose to stand on his own. Albeit, pathetically. Swaying. Almost fell. "Kaya ko. See?"

"Kaya mong maglakad?"

The room was swaying with him too. "Nope."

Jisoo slung his arm over her shoulders. They walked. Well, she walked; he wobbled. With great struggle, they eventually arrived at his room, where he collapsed on the bed artlessly. Toed off his dress shoes. Buried himself in his (freshly-laundered?) bedsheet. 

He was about to doze off but felt cool hands on his person, helping with his clothing off. He couldn't help but chuckle.

"You did this last time too. You struggled. I helped. I, however, did not have a hard time taking your dress off." He peered at her from where he lay. "I think mahihirapan na ako ngayon."

"Gago." Handing him a clean shirt, he battled with the arm holes. She helped him. 

"I remember you being less vulgar than that."

"So now you remember things."

"Minsan lang ako makalimot. Except for that night. But I remember now. Some of it." Jinyoung continued. He was smiling. Smugly. Stupidly. "I remember you were shy. I remember you liked my kisses. Asked for more. And all over you. You liked dirty talking."

"Ang daldal mo pag lasing. Alam mo 'yun?" She loosened his belt.

"I'm not usually like this." He didn't bother with the pants. He might just do something Jackson suggested if he took them off.

"Déjà vu." She laughed. "I feel like this is the longest time we've talked since I started staying in this place."

"Mhmm. Was avoiding you. Worked overtime. Made excuses kasi ayaw kong umuwi. Didn't want to see you. But surprise to me! Lagi mo akong naabutan. Waiting. Hindi ka ba napapagod maghintay?"

"Ayaw mo ba?" She asked, while tucking him in. 

Jinyoung only smiled. Baka masanay ako.

"Jinyoung… pwede kang umuwi nang maaga. Apartment mo 'to. If you want me gone, I can leave."

"Aalis ka nanaman." He was quiet. He wasn't asleep yet but he was getting there. And that wasn't quite true, what he said. "No. Ako pala yung unang umalis."

Jisoo hummed her agreement.

"Jaebeom was wrong, y'know? Not of—" Slowly losing his thoughts. "—you, but of getting too comfortable. Complacent. I thought… I would… fi—ahhh—'nly—" yawning. "—'m'where."

"I think you should sleep." Jisoo said, combing his hair back. 

"Mmyeah." It was pleasant. Her touch. He'd like a bit more. "G'night kiss?"

—

It was better after that night, as if there was a sudden shift in their dynamic.

Jinyoung would leave for work in the morning and would come back not late. Jisoo would go about her day but whatever she did then, she'd still be up and waiting for him. 

What she did when he was working, he didn't know; so from time to time, he'd send Yeri over to check on her. Yeri kept her word and had not said anything about his predicament to their parents. He still hadn't had the chance to discuss things with them, even after two weeks of Jisoo staying at his place. 

The Ate still hadn't replied to any of her messages nor answered her calls. Jisoo was heartbroken by it, he saw, but not too dejected to be completely helpless. 

One time, he even caught her with the laundry. He had just arrived home and wanted to relax for a bit. He sat by the armchair next to the couch, where she was seated, surrounded by laundry. "You don't have to do that. I can send it to the cleaners, instead."

"Umm, hindi. Okay lang. Wala na naman akong ginagawa. Hindi na rin ako pinapabalik sa trabaho ni Doc kasi masyado na daw risky."

"You went to the doctor?"

"Ah, oo. Nagpasama ako kay Yeri at Seulgi kahapon." Jisoo was folding the clothes while smiling, like doing something so simple could make her happy. He found it strange.

"How's the, uh, baby?"

"She's doing great. Wala namang daw na-detect na problema. By next check up, we can get a probable due date." 

"That's good, then."

Napatigil si Jisoo sa pagbubukod ng mga damit at tinignan siya. "Pwede kang sumama kung gusto mo. So you can see her."

Tinignan niya ito ng masinsinan. "If I have time." 

"Ok." She gave him a curt smile. He thought she would go back into doing the laundry but Jisoo spoke again. "About this... our situation..."

"What about it?"

"Once the baby is here, um, ano, paano yung arrangement?" She twiddled with her thumbs. Anxious. "Dito ba—bibisita ka ba? I mean, kapag ok na kami ni ate at gusto mong makita si baby sa apartment namin… I mean, gusto mo bang makita si baby?"

Hindi niya napigilan ang kaba na biglang naramdaman. Hindi rin niyang napigilang kutkutin ang materyal ng upuan sa kaba. Still, Jinyoung was careful with his words when he answered. "If she lives closer, I think it would be easier for everyone in my family to see the baby. I was thinking of renting a place for you two. Somewhere near." 

"Oh."

"Is that all right?" He assessed her reaction.

"I thought—I don't know." Jisoo frowned but didn't raise her worries anymore. 

He could take a guess though. "I'll put it under your name. You can move in with your sister. Kapag ok na kayo."

"I don't know if she'd want that."

"Well, somebody has to help you with the baby eventually. I'm sure she'll come around."

Jisoo didn't answer. 

"But if you want, we can hire a help. She can help you with the household while you're busy with the baby."

He was rambling at this point. "And you won't have to worry about the baby's stuff. I'll buy them for you. And have them delivered it to your apartment."

Hindi na umimik muli si Jisoo at nagtupi na lang. Hindi niya rin alam kung nakikinig pa ito sa kanya. Tumayo na siya at nagpaalam. "I'll go ahead. Don't stay up too late."

And then, for some unknown reason, he patted Jisoo's head before leaving.

Once he was inside his room, he looked at his hand and wondered, the hell did I just do?

—

Jinyoung started experiencing moments of domesticity by the third week of Jisoo's stay. 

One time, he'd gone home hungry and the next day, Jisoo cooked dinner. So now, he would go home and eat Jisoo's home cooked meals (decidedly, needed more practice) or sometimes watch television dramas with her (he'd leave after 15 minutes because he just couldn't understand how ridiculous some of the plot were). 

He would also have momentary thoughts of touching her. Just a brief brush of skin, a light pat or a gentle squeeze of hands or fingers. He would find himself pursuing the urges (engaging physically but in a mechanical way) but more often than not, he would let the feelings flit.

There would be spare times however, where she would reach out and take his hand, to guide it to her stomach so that he could feel the baby's movement. He was fond of those moments.

During one session of baby-touching, Jisoo brought up the possibility of him accompanying her to the next monthly check-up. Caught in the moment, he agreed.

So here they were, in the hospital, being asked mundane questions by her Obstetrician about her daily progression. Earlier on, they were caught in an awkward situation where the doctor asked where he was the past months and why he only accompanied Jisoo on her monthly check up now. 

He merely smiled and answered that he was busy.

"It’s only a matter of time now, parating na si baby kaya dapat extra careful tayo. Bawal ma-stress si missus. Kailangan relax lang at wag masyadong gumalaw-galaw."

"Yes, doktora. Thank you po. Have a good day." Thanked Jisoo. Jinyoung supported Jisoo as she got up; she was getting heavier and doing the simplest things were getting tougher. "Nakita mo ba yung ilong ni baby? Ang cute at ang tangos. Feeling ko nagmana sa'yo."

Hindi na siya kumumento at nagmadali na lang naglakad habang akap ang balikat ni Jisoo. Kahit na naka maskara pa siya, malakas ang kutob niyang makikilala siya, katulad na lang ng--

"Kuya? Ate Jisoo!" Kapatid niyang si Yeri. Linapitan sila nito ng mabilis, gulat na gulat at kaunting may panic sa mga mata. "Oh my God, Kuya! You should leave; daddy's here for his check up!"

"What?"

"He's just making kwento but we were about to leave. You haven't told mommy and daddy about the baby, right? I think it's best if you leave now. Baka mahuli kayo."

"Shit. Thanks Ye." Mabilis rin silang naglakad ni Jisoo. Well, relatively fast for someone who was pregnant.

When they got to the car, Jisoo was slightly winded and Jinyoung was mulling over the possibility of just confronting and confessing to his parents tonight or tomorrow. It was long overdue anyway. 

In the morning after, he told Jisoo about his plans. She agreed but seemed awfully somber about it. He didn't think about it too much.

—

On his next rest day, they went over to his parents' place. It was Jaebum who welcomed them at the door. They hadn't spoken since that night but they were all right. They always were. 

He nodded inside. "Just in time. Good mood sila ma and dad. Dining area. Talk to them first. Sama ka muna sa akin, Jisoo. Miss ka na ni Yeri."

He turned to Jisoo. "You ok?" 

"Ok." She smiled but it was strained around the edges. He didn't pay too much attention to it again. He was busy calming his nerves down, which again was an uncommon trait he had developed. He was never nervous. He planned ahead to avoid it. 

But what use was planning when you're just going to forget?

Jinyoung approached his parents in the dining area. They were having tea. His mom beamed as soon as she saw him. He was genuinely glad to see the both of them, despite the inner turmoil he was having.

"Oh, honey! You're here." He pecked each of his parents cheeks. "You should've told us sooner na dadaan ka para nakapaghanda si Manang ng favorite mo. Naglunch ka na?" 

"I'm good, Ma. Naglunch na kami kanina. Hi, dad."

"Hi, hijo. How are you? Ngayon ka lang napadaan. Last time you were here was after my surgery pa, right?" 

"Yes. Sorry po. I was just busy with a lot of things."

"Is work keeping you up? Don't worry; you're doing great. I was just talking to the older Wang the other day. So far, they're very satisfied with how you handle the board as my representative." Dad gave him a reassuring grin. "Anyway, your load will lighten once I'm back in my post. You'll have your freedom back soon."

Ma rolled her eyes. "Hay nako, daddy ha. The doctor said you have to rest for at least 6 months. May 2 months ka pa."

Dad rolled his eyes. "Your mom is such a worry-wart."

"And your dad is a stubborn mule." Ma beckoned him to sit beside her. "Anyway, is there something you need, anak? You have that look in your eyes. Like you're a man on a mission."

"Is this about the adoption? Don't worry; ready na yung papers. The lawyer's just tying some loose ends." Dad explained.

"Magiging Im ka na rin sa wakas!" Ma cheered.

"Wow." Jinyoung couldn't help the smile that was slowly spreading on his face. It was overwhelming. After all these years of hoping and wanting… 

"Before the year ends, hopefully finalized na. It would be your Christmas gift to us! My baby is officially my baby!"

"Ma." Jinyoung grumbled in jest. He was happy. And worried. And frightened. Something his mother could see on his face clearly.

"Is there something wrong, love? You can tell us."

"Have you guys… have you ever been disappointed in me?" 

His parents exchanged looks, both frowning. Ma spoke. "None that I can think of."

Dad followed soon after. "Not disappointment per se, but just extreme sadness. When you only asked us now to adopt you. Ang tagal ka naming hinintay ng mommy mo."

"I'm sorry about that."

"It's okay, anak. The important thing is now, it's a possibility for us."

Jinyoung continued. "What if… what if I've done something horrible? Will you be disappointed in me? Maybe this time around you'll be disappointed. I did something terrible 7 months ago. It was something I did impulsively and stupidly. It resulted in a mistake." A crippling fear gripped Jinyoung's heart. What if they push him away after hearing everything he has to say? What will happen to him? Who will be his family then?

Gone was the logical and level-headed Jinyoung they knew. It was his dread talking now. All his happiness from earlier, eaten up. "I don't even know why I did it. I can't remember the reason why I had to sacrifice everything I ever worked for—for this! All my life I only wanted you guys to be proud of me. I wanted to repay your kindness for raising me and giving me everything I don't deserve.  But I screwed up, Ma. I don't think I can do this."

"Jinyoung? Honey, whatever it is, we'll get through it. Don't cry, baby." Ma was wiping the tears away from his eyes.

Jinyoung didn't even notice he was crying. Once the tears slid, he couldn't stop it.

"We'll still love you kung ano pa yun. We'll always be proud of you. You don't need to repay anything. Anak. Please stop crying na. You're making me cry too." 

"I'm sorry, Dad. I'm sorry, Ma." He was sobbing. He never cried in public. It was a display of weakness he learned in his younger years. A weakness that can be easily exploited by other people. Something he never wanted to experience again. 

By now, his parents were both by his side, consoling him. Ma was hugging him and Dad was giving him words of comfort. Eventually, his sobs subsided to a whimper until he finally composed himself. 

"Jinyoung, we're here for you. We'll help you with whatever it is. Whatever you need."

"I—There's someone I'd like you to meet."

—

Jinyoung led them to the living room before fetching Jisoo from where Jaebeom had brought her to—his small library. She was with Yeri, who was happily chatting away and her listening with rapt attention. The couch where they were seated was facing the open windows, so their backs were facing him instead. At the door opening, Jaebeom looked up from his book and gave Jinyoung a quizzical stare, as if asking him whether he was ok. He nodded in acknowledgement. 

Yeri was still talking but Jisoo's attention drifted into his direction. Jinyoung caught her eyes and saw how anxious and frightened she was like him. 

He gave her a small smile. "They're waiting in the living room." 

"Right. Una muna kami ni Yeri." Jaebeom called to Yeri and both of them left the room. 

Now, it was just Jinyoung and Jisoo. He approached her slowly and sat at the coffee table, so they were facing each other.

It was Jisoo, who reached out first. Hand outstretched, advancing towards his face, then hesitatingly cradling his right cheek. He welcomed the touch, leaning slightly towards it, while she thumbed the track of tears left. 

"Ok ka lang?"

"I'm ok." Jinyoung placed his hand atop of hers. "I haven't told them yet."

"Oh."

"They'll be asking a lot of questions. How we met, how long we've known each other." Jinyoung locked his gaze on her. "Most importantly, they will be asking about marriage plans. I want to be honest with you, Jisoo. I don't have any intentions of marrying you." 

"I see." 

"It's not—"

"—you, it's me? You don't have to explain, Jinyoung. Wala namang tayo. I understand. You didn't sign up for a baby and you didn't sign up for this. Both of us didn't. I don't want to tie you down just because we have a baby together." 

"You're not… mad?" He removed his hand from hers. She also got rid of hers from his face.  

"Should I be?" She asked, bewildered. "I just want my baby to know her father; kahit may relasyon pa tayo or wala. We can be friends, lovers or nothing basta hindi mo ipagtatabuyan yung anak mo."

"I will never do that."

Jisoo put on a happy expression. "Then, I'm good. Pero anong sasabihin natin sa parents mo?"

"We can just say that it's not a priority right now. That the focus is on the baby. They'll understand." He stood up and offered to help her stand. "We should go. They're probably waiting. I hope you're ready."

—

It went off without a hitch.

Although they were left with more questions than answers, his parents remarkably liked Jisoo. They had already extended an invitation for her to stay in their house that very night but Jinyoung had to decline for her because he knew his parents would only interrogate her about their relationship. They promised to return, along with sonograph pictures of the baby.

Despite the welcome his parents posed, Jisoo seemed distracted. Sumasagot kapag tinatanong pero hindi nakikihabilo. Ngumingiti pero hindi umaabot sa mga mata. 

“Pagod ka na?” Tanong niya kay Jisoo.

Nagbuntong-hininga lang ang sagot siya. Saglit niyang tinignan at nakitang naka tulala lang sa labas. Mukhang malalim ang iniisip. 

He tried again. "I know it’s not ideal but I'm not entirely opposed to it."

"Hmm?" Imik ni Jisoo.

"Of being friends. I don't dislike the idea of us being friends." 

"Oh?" Panandalian lang siyang tinignan nito. 

He held his breath. Mahigpit ang kapit sa manibela. Halong kaba at alinlangan ang ramdan niya habang tinanong si Jisoo. "Can we be friends?" 

Matagal bago sumagot si Jisoo, pero nung napa-oo na lang siya, hindi pa rin gumaan ang loob ni Jinyoung. 

—

It was a few days after, when the dread in his guts manifested.

He was at work; in a meeting with the shareholders about the future plans for the following year, when he was informed by his secretary that his phone had been exploding with calls and text messages. He had ignored it, his personal life could wait in lieu of his career. 

He was in the office, afterwards, when Jaebeom barged in with a miffed look and a thunderous voice to boot. “Hindi ka ba nasabihan ng secretary mo na tumatawag ako? Or nagte-text? Bakit hindi ka na naman sumasagot?”

“I was in a meeting with the board.” 

Jaebeom released a sigh of exasperation. “Si Jisoo na kayla Seulgi. Sunduin mo.” 

“Bakit? Anong nangyari?”

“Sunduin mo na lang; ang dami mo pang tanong!”

Jinyoung shook his head. “JB, you know me. Hindi ako basta-bastang umaalis sa trabaho ng walang rason.”

“Puta? Trabaho pa rin ang iniisip mo? Kahit nahimatay na yung ina ng anak mo?” 

“What?!” Sa gulat ni Jinyoung, napatayo ito bigla. “What the fuck happened?”

“Pinuntahan niya yung ate niya sa trabaho pero hindi siya pinansin at sinabihang umalis sa harap niya. Nag-text yung ate niya kay Seulgi na paalisin daw si Jisoo dahil nagsa-skandalo tapos iniwan na lang umiiyak. Pag dating ni Seulgi doon, ayaw pa ring tumahan; nawalan na lang ng malay bigla.” 

“Bakit hindi nila dinala sa ospital?” Mabilis hinablot ni Jinyoung ang susi ng kanyang sasakyan at ang kanyang telepono. Palabas na siya ng opisina niya, kasunod si Jaebeom. Saglit na kinausap ang kanyang sekritarya bago dumiretso sa elevator. “Bakit na kayla Seulgi lang? Paano kung may nangyari sa bata?”

 

Jaebeom put upon a sigh. “Dinala nila sa ospital pero pinagpayuhan lang na pagpahingahin nung doctor. Dapat iko-confine na siya kaso nung nagising si Jisoo, ayaw naman niya.”

“Fuck.” 

“She was asking for you when she woke up.” Nagkatinginan sila salamin ng elevator. “She seemed ok the last time I saw her. What happened, Jinyoung? What did you do?”

Si Jinyoung ang unang napailing. It was the guilt that made him back down first. “I don’t know. I didn't do anything.”

—

Pagkadating nila kayla Seulgi, si Seungyoon ang unang bumati sa kanila. Masama ang tingin niya kay Jinyoung. 

“Where’s Jisoo?” 

“Tulog.” Sagot ng lalaki. Hinarang niya si Jinyoung sa pintuan. “Oh, saan ka pupunta?”

“Kukunin ko si Jisoo.”

“Tulog nga. Bumalik ka na lang kapag may pakielam ka na.”

“What did you say?” Jaebeom demanded. Jinyoung raised a hand. Signalling him to stand down. There was no need to be violent. He never resorted to it.

“Hinahanap niya ako kaya susunduin ko na siya.” His eyes narrowed. “Move.”

“Hindi mo ba ako narinig? Tulog nga kaya wag mong istorbohin. Kailangan niyang magpahinga.”

Jinyoung sighed. He didn’t want to do any power plays at the moment. He knew what Seungyoon wanted but he couldn’t hand it over to him so easily. 

It was obvious, of course. Seungyoon clearly thought of Jisoo as more than a friend and he was being protective of her because he couldn’t let her go. He didn’t think Jisoo would’ve chosen him anyway. If she did, she would’ve done it a long time ago. 

“She’ll rest better with me around. Now, move.”

Seungyoon grabbed his collar and seemed to want to punch him but Seulgi beat him to it. That is, she pulled Seungyoon away from Jinyoung, while Jaebeom stood between them. “Kuya! Ano ba ‘yang ginagawa mo? Magunos-dili ka nga diyan!”

“Ano ba? Eh kasalanan naman nitong gago na ‘to kung bakit nagkaganyan si Jisoo eh. Bitawan mo nga ako, tangina.” Napakalas ito sa hawak ni Seulgi ng mabagsik. “Palibhasa, wala kang alam.”

Jaebeom intervened again. “Pare, ‘wag namang ganyan. Makipagusap ka naman ng matino.”Mas masama ang tingin ni Seungyoon kay Jaebeom. “Lumayo ka sa kapatid ko, tangina mo.” Pag banta nito bago umalis. Binangga niya si Jinyoung ng marahas bago lumabas. 

Jinyoung ignored it. Waste of time.

“Sorry sa kuya ko… protective lang talaga siya.”  Seulgi bit her lip, ashamed. Hindi makatingin kahit sa isa sa kanila. “Nasa kwarto si Jisoo. Sa kanan.”

“Thanks.” Iniwan na ni Jinyoung ang dalawa. Narinig niya ang alala sa boses ni Jaebeom nung tinanong niya si Seulgi kung ayos lang siya, pero hindi ito ang tunay na pakay ni Jinyoung at hindi na lang kumumento. Pinuntahan niya sa kwarto si Jisoo at nakitang nakahiga si Jisoo sa kama. Gising at nakatitig sa kanya.

Dahan-dahan niyang linapitan ito at yumuko sa harap niya. Hindi niya napigilang hawakan ang mukha nito. He was caressing her, the way she touched him at his parents’ place. Tinignan nito ng maiigi. “Do you want to go home?”

Napatungo si Jisoo. Akala niya, ayos na ang lahat pero biglang humikbi ang babae, matatabang luha ang lumabas sa kanyang mga mata. “Wala na akong uuwian. Hindi na ako mahal ni ate.”

“I meant—” Jinyoung cut himself off. “Can you tell me what happened?”

“Sabi niya sa akin, malaki na daw ako. Kaya ko na daw. Na hindi ko na daw siya kailangan.” Hindi napigilan ni Jisoo ang kanyang iyak. 

Walang nagawa si Jinyoung kung hindi pag masdan lang ito. Occasionally, wiping the tears away with his thumb, despite knowing how futile it was. The tears wouldn’t stop. She was breaking. Right in front of his eyes. “Pero Jinyoung… kailangan ko si ate. Si ate lang ang nagmamahal sa akin. Siya lang ang pamilya ko.”

He felt guilty then. Something he didn’t feel quite often. He was reluctant to admit it but Seungyoon was right. He did this. 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Jisoo.” Jinyoung leaned forward, so their faces were touching now. He whispered words to abate Jisoo’s heartbreak and his own regrets. His lips grazing her eyes, cheeks and nose, a poor imitation of a peck. 

It was secretly the only other way he knew how to comfort other people, something he learned from his mother-—his real mother. It was the only lovely thing he learned from her. 

—

Jaebeom had to drive them home that day, as Jisoo didn’t loosen her hold on Jinyoung’s hand. 

They sat at the back, their joint hands in the middle of the two-passenger seat. She was looking outside, not saying anything again. The ride was far too quiet for his liking—even though it was his usual preference.

“Why did you see her?” Jinyoung asked. She didn’t respond. He squeezed her hand. “Jisoo.”

She tried to pull her hand away from him but he held it steadfast. She wasn’t escaping this time. Whatever it was that had been bothering her for the past week, he would make sure to find out. 

“I missed her. We’ve never been apart for this long after ng nagkasama ulit kami.” She answered, her voice shaking. “And I was jealous.”

“Jealous? Of whom?”

“Of you. And JB. And your family.” She glanced at Jaebeom, and then at him. “You have your parents and your siblings. You have someone you can run to, someone who can support you. Pero nawala yung taong tatakbuhan ko at yung sumusuporta sa akin.”

“Why did you go on your own? I could’ve—”

“I just wanted to fix it on my own. Without your help.” She lamented. “Pero lumayo na ang loob ni ate sa akin. Wala na daw siyang kapatid. Magisa na lang ako.”

“You have the baby. The baby needs you.”

“The baby needs me because she has to, not because she wants to. Ate needed me because she wanted to, because she loved me. I have no one.”

“Jisoo…” Gusto niyang pagaanin ang loob nito, pero hindi alam ni Jinyoung kung papaano. He wanted to tell her that maybe… maybe...

Hindi na lang niya itinuloy at mukha namang hindi na ulit ito mamamansin, hanggang nakatulog na lang siya sa byahe.

Jaebeom, who had been silent the whole time, spoke. “I’m bringing you guys to Dad’s.”“What? Why?” His brother didn’t listen. “No. Take us to my place.” 

“Jisoo needs to be taken care of properly, Jinyoung. I’m doing this for Jisoo and the baby. She needs to feel loved and cherished. You clearly can’t do it yourself. Let Ma look after her even just for a few days. At least, may makakasama siya doon at hindi lang magisa sa apartment mo. Please, if not for Jisoo, do it for the baby.” 

“Fine.”

—

Jisoo stayed at his parents’ place for the remaining duration of her pregnancy. 

Jinyoung dropped by every now and then when he wasn’t busy but would go home in his apartment after seeing her. 

Jisoo appeared more cheerful since the incident with her sister, he noticed. Dad made her laugh with his dad jokes, Ma was pampering her and the baby with so much baby stuff, she had apologized and had to decline, and Yeri was finally getting the big sister she wanted. Even Jaebeom dropped by, admittedly more often than he did, and brought Seulgi along so she could have a friend to talk to if everybody else was busy. It was only he, who always came empty-handed. 

Once, he asked what she wanted and what he could give to her but she only shook her head and said it couldn’t be done. 

At the insistence of his parents, he stayed one night. 

They slept in his old room. While he did his nightly absolutions, she just sat on his bed and looked at some of his photos. He didn’t have photos of when he was younger than six, which was when he stayed with the Ims then.

He remembered some of them fondly, while the others were just a haze. They stopped to look at a photo of him, JB and Yeri at the beach. She was five then, and he and JB were eleven. They built sandcastles and ate watermelon. It was also the summer where he found out what being adopted and what being a foster kid meant.

After, when they were both in bed, Jisoo asked him what he thought would be good baby names. 

"Noong una, parang gusto ko combination ng name mo atsaka noong akin. Like Jinsoo, Soojin or Jinji! Kaso naisip ko na medyo corny pala. Kaya iba na lang siguro. Ikaw ba? May naisip na?"

He hadn't given it a thought, to be honest. It was the least of his worries. Well, at least not about the baby's first name. “Jisoo… Once the baby is born, she might need to take your last name.”

He was met by silence so he saw it as a sign to continue.

"There’s something you need to know about me, Jisoo. I don't know if you know or if someone had told you already, but I'm not an Im. I'm their foster kid. It's kind of an open secret. I go by Park. Park Jinyoung. At least for now anyway." 

He continued. "They're planning to adopt me legally but it will take months before that happens. I… just don't want to make it more complicated for the child later on, when she has to change it twice. At least when she decides to keep my name in the future, you'll only do it once.” He looked at Jisoo. “Naiintindihan mo naman kung saan ako nanggagaling, hindi ba?"

She nodded but didn’t talk anymore. She remained like that until they both fell asleep. 

The bed was wet when he woke up—when he was woken up by a weeping Jisoo.

“Jin—ah—manganganak na ata ako.” Hawak-hawak niya ang kanyang tiyan.

Mabilis natanggal ang antok ni Jinyoung, napaupo ito at mabilis tumabi kay Jisoo. “Shit. Fuck. Sigurado ka na ba? It’s not your due yet. ” 

“My water broke. I’m—ow!—sure. Hospital.” 

“Fuck. Fuck, wait. Shit. Tawagin ko sila ma.” 

Umalis at iniwan niya si Jisoo sa kwarto at pinuntahan ang kanyang mga magulang para sabihin ang balita. Nagising ang buong bahay at nagmadaling magayos para pumunta ng ospital. Pag balik nito sa kwarto, nakita niya si Jisoo na nakaluhod sa tabi ng kama. Mabilis niyang pinuntahan ito at inakay. 

“Can you walk?”

“No. It hurts.”

“Okay—just—” He had her arms loop around his neck while he hoisted her up, close to his body, carrying her bridal style. “Hold tight.” 

Hangga’t sa nakarating sila sa ospital, buhat-buhat ni Jinyoung si Jisoo, na nangiyak-ngiyak sa sakit ng kanyang contractions. Ma brought all the necessary things Jisoo and the baby would need after, which he didn’t really think about, but left not long after and said she would be back either in the morning or afternoon. 

Now it was just Jinyoung and Jisoo in the hospital room, the latter in immense pain.

The nurse informed them that early labor for first time moms were not uncommon and was sometimes expected at just 37 weeks. Jinyoung had insisted that Jisoo be admitted instantly and so he spent the rest of the early morning by her side, reading articles about assuaging labor pains.

He’d let her squeeze his hand, bury her face in his neck as she sobbed, and be the shoulder he knew she needed.

But he knew he wasn't the one she was looking for.

"Jinyoung, anak, where did you go? Why did you leave Jisoo alone?"

"Ma, I didn't leave her alone. You and Yeri are there."

"Jinyoung, don't play smart with me. Hindi kita pinalaki ng ganyan. Get back here. You should be here to be with the mother of your child!"

"I'll be back, Ma. I promise. May dadaanan lang ako."

"Jisoo is also looking for you. You better come back here before the baby is born.”

"I will."

—

Jinyoung was sure he would be thrown something when he arrived in her office pero masamang tingin lang ang binato sa kanya ng ate ni Jisoo. Hindi siya sinigawan, hindi siya pinaalis.

Hindi niya alam kung saan niya sisimulan ang gusto niyang ipahayag. Ang ipinunta lang naman niya talaga dito ay para sabihin na manganganak na ang kapatid niya. 

Bigla niyang natandaan ang huli nilang pagkikita. Hadn't she said he didn't care for her sister? That he didn't know what Jisoo had to go through when he wasn't around? The pain he inflicted by his absence? He wanted to relay the same message to her but something was bothering him. It had been bothering him for a long time and it wanted out. Now. 

"I know I did you and Jisoo wrong from the start. Especially, Jisoo. I know you blame me for your recent failings with your sister." He swallowed. "I'm sorry for that. For both. For everything."

"And? You're here because… what? You want my forgiveness?" She crossed her arms. "Hindi ko mabibigay 'yun sa'yo. Kaya makakaalis ka na."

Hindi napigilan ni Jinyoung ang inis niya. Mataas rin pala ang pride nitong ate ni Jisoo. He should've known. Noong una pa lang silang magusap. Pero matalino si Jinyoung. Hindi niya hinayaan ang inis niya ang magpairal sa usapan nila. Hindi naman ito ang importante.

"I'll leave only if you come with me."

Napatawa ng malakas si Irene. "And what makes you think I would want to come with you?"

"The fact that Jisoo's about to give birth should be enough of a reason for you."

Irene scoffed. "No, it isn’t."

He raised his voice then. Hindi niya napigilan. "This is your sister we're talking about!" 

"The same sister who left me for you!" She shook her head. "She doesn't need me. She has you already."

"Jisoo needs you, Irene. She said so herself. She's heartbroken that you two have grown apart. Kaya please, pagbigyan mo na ako—si Jisoo, kahit ngayon lang. Sumama ka na. Make her happy for me. I just want to see her smile."

—

It was awkward, to say the least, to wait outside the room with the rest of his family while the sisters cried their heart out. The medical staff were already looking at their direction weirdly and his mother was urging him for them to talk and relay the story about the sisters but he didn’t want that. So he kept mum until Irene came out of the door and called for him.

She didn’t leave when he went inside, but she gave them the distance to talk by staying by the door and pretended to be interested in her phone.

Jinyoung approached Jisoo slowly. Her eyes were still red from crying and slightly puffy but there was a smile on her lips that pleased him greatly. It’s been so long since he had seen it--had he seen it before? He couldn’t remember, but it didn't matter. 

“Thank you.” Jisoo lifted her hand and instinctively, he grasped it with his own. “For bringing Ate here. For letting me see her again.”

“It’s fine. It’s what you wanted, right?”

“Paano mo nalaman?”

“Hindi mahirap hulaan.” Sabi nito, habang hinihimas niya ang kamay ni Jisoo. “At sinabi mo yun, hindi ba? Na kailangan mo ang ate mo. Na siya ang pamilya mo.”

“Sabi ko nga. Pero hindi na lang siya… na saan na ang mama mo? Pati daddy mo atsaka yung mga kapatid mo?” 

“Nasa labas, naghihintay. Gusto mo bang tawagin ko? Wait, let me—”

Napatigil siya sa pag baklas ng kanilang kamay, dahil mapahigpit ang hawak ni Jisoo sa kanya. Mga ilang sandali, binitawan niya rin ito, at nagbalik ang ngiting pwersado sa mukha. Tinitigan ni Jinyoung si Jisoo, napalunok at napaisip. Gusto niyang may sabihin pero hindi niya alam kung ano… o kung paano sisimulan. Pag dating kay Jisoo, marami siyang hindi naiintindihan.

But now, something tells him he shouldn't leave her side. That he should stay and see her through the rest of her labor and the birth of their daughter. That if he leaves now, then it would mean leaving for good.

And… he couldn't. He couldn't leave her.

So he stayed.

—

At exactly three-thirty in the afternoon, Jinyoung became a father. 

—

END

[byuntrash101]

Gryffindor cockiness

reader x dom!hyunjae

smut | nsfw | mdni

hogwarts!au, ravenclaw!hyunjae, enemies to lover (?), slut used once, unprotected sex, hate sex, bratty reader, cocky hyunjae, teasing, begging, some edging, dirty talk

requested | part of my 2023 prompts event [closed]

How can a Ravenclaw be that much like a Gryffindor... that's something you will never understand

[❛ i’m going to ruin you. ❜ + you better watch your fucking mouth. ❜]

TUMBLR IS BASED ON REBLOGS. PLEASE REBLOG MY WORK 🖤

Why? 

You kept asking yourself. Why did it have to be him? Why did it have to be Lee Hyunjae? Why did he have to be voted captain of the Quidditch team?

The previous captain, Kim Namjoon, had graduated last year and he was just the best captain ever and he also happened to be your best friend. There was just no way in hell Hyunjae would be able to fill his shoes.

What a fucking disgrace for the Ravenclaw team… Your team used to be unstoppable! So much for winning the Cup this year, you thought, exhaling a heavy sigh.

You wondered how a thick head like Lee Hyunjae could carry your team or how he was even sorted in your house to begin with! He definitely had that Gryffindor cockiness that you hated… Always talking about himself… Thinking everyone should praise the ground upon which he set foot, pretentiously pushing his thick brown hair back and flaunting that toothpaste commercial smile… You scoffed, eyeing with disdain your new captain.

Results of the vote were announced and while everyone was celebrating Hyunjae you stood back and stayed silent, your expression giving away how you felt about the bitter news.

He immediately turned to you, glaring eyes shooting daggers your way.

“Okay everyone! Tomorrow we’ll have our first practice of the year. I want all of you well rested and sharp”.

Everyone was heading back to the Ravenclaw tower when he added.

“and on time too!” you groaned. “That's for you y/n!”

Captain for 30 seconds and he was already giving lessons and getting on your nerves. You hurriedly left not missing to nudge him in the shoulder on the way out.

“When is she going to admit that crush she has on you ?” Younghoon asked, shaking his head in disbelief.

Was that really what it was? 

The next day’s practice was a rocky processus. Everybody respected Hyunjae's skills. But you, on the other hand, were convinced he was the worst keeper the team had known since Park Jinyoung! (Actually he wasn't so bad but you would have died before admitting it).

After 2 long hours of being ordered around by the chief prick himself you finally got off duty. Everybody was being dismissed and going back to their other activities while the Slytherin team was getting on the field.

“Y/n” Hyunjae’s irritating voice called your name. “Can I see you ?” You rolled your eyes not even having the decency to turn your head.

“No” you replied before throwing the silver and blue scarf around your neck and heading for the door. But Younghoon stopped you.

“Y/n…” he said with the disapproving tone of a big brother. “You know you have to… Come on” he said, motioning his head to your captain standing a little further. 

“Fine” you groaned as Younghoon fist bumped you in the shoulder and left along with the rest of the team.

“What do you want ?” you barked at Hyunjae.

“What is your problem with me once and for all?” You looked at him with disbelief in the eyes. 

Did he really not remember? 

It was crystal clear in your mind. Your very first year at Hogwarts you Hyunjae found yourselves both in the same boat on your way to the castle. You were always afraid of water but Hyunjae made sure you felt safe. From that point on you felt blossoming for him and you even wrote him a letter on Valentine's day… but Hyunjae never even confronted you with a letter instead the very same day you heard in the great hall complain about the fact that he only got letters from the ugly girls… Your small heart was broken in half 

Well since then, puberty hit you like a truck and this Valentines day your owl brought you a couple of handfuls of mail from admirers but you didn’t care all you wanted was to make Hyunjae regret not seeing your potential…

But you couldn’t possibly tell that embarrassing story, especially if he didn’t even remember. Seriously… Only a gryffindor could be so oblivious about other people's feelings.

“You’re just cocky and you have literally no reason for it” you blurted. Hyunjae only lifted a puzzled eyebrow.

“You’re the worst keeper of our generation and also you’re just … ugly!” you spat, throwing back at his face what he indirectly told you 7 years ago. It felt good even if it was a lie.

Hyunjae chuckled and took a step in your direction. Somehow his aura had changed, felt different.

“Y/n” he clicked his tongue a few times. “Now you know that’s a lie”

You rolled your eyes. Again with the gryffindor cockiness. You turned to leave but he blocked you, trapping your frame between his arms against the lockers.

“I even heard you had a big fat crush on me” he added. You felt your cheeks burning red. “Awww. Are you blushing?” he laughed again. You wanted to transfigure into a mouse and crawl underneath the big heavy wooden door of the lockers.

“No! I'm just fighting the urge to punch you right now” you lied trying your best to sustain your eyes.

“What if I did that ?” suddenly he leaned in and kissed you. The kiss felt as unexpected as it was uncalled for.  It was surprisingly warm, soft and sensual. You even caught your shoulders slightly deflating, relaxing into him. When his lips parted yours you felt the loss of warmth being rather unpleasant.

“That was disgusting.” you whispered lips almost still brushing against his but not moving an inch. “I'm repulsed by you” you added, unconvincing but defying nonetheless.

He chuckled again as your eyes went half closed, his tall figure towering over you, strong and mighty.

“I don’t care how long it takes… I’m going to break you into the most obedient little chaser ever.” His hot breath hitting your face made your heart race. “I’m going to ruin you”.

“Not a goddamn chance, you fucker” you said more deviant than ever.

Hyunjae’s cocky smile dropped instantly and one of his head wrapped around your neck before you could even realize it, smashing your head on the metal lockers.

“You better watch your fucking mouth” he growled, his voice going an octave lower, usually soft and warm features turning ice cold.

“Fucking. Make. Me.” you challenged him and the smirk was back on his lips but this time he eyes were tinted with lust.

Without hesitation he kissed you again, crashing his lips onto yours in a messy and heated kiss. Your hand roamed over his body, slipping under his cloak, skin still lightly dampened from the intense practice. He caught your bottom lips between his teeth as he squeezed your throat a little tighter, rolling his hips into your making you feel his growing bulge.

You moaned as you felt your arousal soaking your panties. 

The handy thing with robes was that they were easily lifted off. You both took your respective cloaks off and as Hyunjae was making quick work of his zipper whipping out his hard cock while you were tossing to the side the soaked panties.

Hyunjae lifted your skirt as you wrapped your leg around his hips and started rubbing his hot tip at your entrance. You gasped and threw your hands around his board shoulder. 

“I’m gonna fuck that attitude right out of you” he said sliding his length inside you with ease as you moaned deliciously in his ear.

“Let’s see about that” you responded as he finally reached the bottom of you, Big fat cock perfectly filling you up.

“Fucking brat” he said before grabbing both your legs and lifting you up like nothing. Angling your hips to perfection. The very first thrust was already deadly. Hyunjae aimed his fat cock right at your sweet spot. Setting an unbearable rhythm. 

“Fuckkk” you groaned. Not expecting that much pleasure from the get go. 

“Take my fucking cock, you slut” Hyunjae groaned, completely turning your sobbing cunt inside out.

Rapidly the pleasure built up to a level that was completely new for you. You just couldn’t imagine being fucked so intensely, so precisely, so perfectly.

“Fuck! You’re dripping all over my pants. Does my cock feel this good?” he teased.

“No” you lied, eyebrows knitted in pleasure.

“Guess I’ll try harder then” Hyunjae said before going even deeper and faster. You squealed in total bliss, the knot in your stomach threatening to come undone at any second.

You were just a couple strokes away from high. So close you could taste it. 

But he slowed down.

When your panicked eyes met his evil twinkle your heart stopped. Hyunjae felt your desperate cunt pathetically gripping him, begging for more.

“Why did you stop ?” you asked, eyes brimming with tears.

“Say you’ll behave and i’ll make you cum”

You bit your tongue just to keep the words behind your needy lips. Out of pride.

“Say you’ll be a good girl and I’ll fuck until your forget your own name” Hyunjae added with one last powerful stroke reminding you on the pleasure you were missing.

“Fine please! I’ll be a good girl Please Hyunjae fuck me. Fuck me right now” you exclaimed, tears of deafeat overflowing your waterline. Shamefully trading your pride for your release.

“Good fucking girl” he said as he went back to the surgical brutal pace. And you came undone with only a couple strokes. Completely soaking him and yourself in your cum. Cunt twitching and clenching around his fat cock, as if it was never going to let go. Pure white pleasure crashing over your body.

“Fuck yeah” Hyunjae grunted. Finally pulling out, rapidly jerking his tip off and letting himself go all over your skirt. Huge streams of white cum painting the black pleated skirt. 

“Fuckkk” he hissed through gritted teeth as the streams grew less and less powerful until he was completely empty.

As you both were putting your clothes and cloaks back on, both trying to recover from this lawless act, Hyunjae turned to you.

“Next practice I’ll give a reminder of that promise if necessary”

“It will probably be needed, yes” you said, flipping your hair back in place.

A/N: any kind of feedback is greatly appreciated! Please reblog share comment. Even drop by my asks come say hello I don't bite I promise. Ily guys thx for reading 👻