#it hurts so bad... but I'm still alive

[cartoonghosts]

genuinely people need to tag triggers. Love all the 'not my responsibility to tag stuff the way you want it' shit but that is for fandom and weird kinks and whatever not LITERAL PICTURES OF SELF HARM AND BLOOD EVERYWHERE like I'd be fine if it was tagged 'tw blood' (which I don't have blocked!! I'd still be triggered as fuck but hey you tried idc) but when you don't tag it at all I have to assume you are actually trying to hurt someone. Yeah I block immediately but thst doesn't change the fact that I'm triggered and the sh urges are back. This is true for text posts too, although I try to block words (I genuinely hate it so deeply when people sidestep other people's word blocks with 'sewerslide' or button mash numbers in the word like. I am going to fucking kill you. 'Oh noo it's triggering to me uwu' bitch you made me actively suicidal for the first time in months. Fucking die. Don't post that shit if using the actual words triggers you). You ABSOLUTELY ARE responsible for what you put out into the words. People saying 'oh ur not responsible for other peoples triggers and emotions' are genuinely heartless and have never felt human empathy. You ain't responsible for how I react to your content, but you NEED to try your best to give people the bare minimum of warnings when you post triggering shit. Look at ur vent post and be like 'hey I'm gonna tag this as tw vent/ tw si' and you genuinely might save someone's life. Probably not but the chance should be enough for you to care and if it isn't, block me. Don't argue, just block me now.

[gomacave]

S*fikura.......

[redwayfarers]

since i've been on the baby nika train, i've been thinking about how his echo could've manifested as early as like. 8 years old. his dad died when he was 7 and he moved to limsa not long after, so two big changes and shock and grief could've triggered it to start manifesting.

it explains the way limsa never really felt like a friendly place to him; imagine being 8 in a new city where you don't know anyone, a new country even, and suddenly you can speak their language without problem even though you've never heard it (bc yes, i do hc there are distinct languages of the city-states) and you can see the memories of the people around you at random. you'd feel like a weirdo, right?

it also explains why he's so maladjusted as a person. all this on top of having to deal with the parent you're very close to passing away + being dragged to a new place without ANY SUPPORT SYSTEM,,, this isn't even about the way he's deeply ashamed of himself for. many reasons and why he struggles with identity as much as he does,,, he will make me cry

[mad-hunts]

goddd. okay, i know it was honestly QUITE some time ago that i talked about jack mathis, so let me just give y'all a bit of a refresher as to why he is the (current) best of that mathis kids in my humble opinion: he doesn't like killing, but will do it in instances where he is 'forced to' (and i mean where he feels like there's no other choice BUT to do so, such as to protect one of his family members, or save them from going to jail, etc.) and jack honestly just wants to make barton proud.

(though, unfortunately, his father tends to treat him the worst out of all of his kids because of his 'joking' attitude). and he is also touch-starved as HELL / actively seeks out anything that will bring him comfort in regards to this, like warm showers, for example. so let me get on to the reason why i'm saying 'god' — him literally barely scraping by on the positive interactions he gets from barton when they have a 'family night' once a week?

as well as once a month, when his father takes a day off to just spend playing video games with jack + whatever else he wants to do? it's such a sad concept for real, because just imagine having five days out of the month feeling like they're the only reason why you've kept whatever semblance of sanity you have left. well, that and his relationship with matilda, as she is the closest sibling to him, but 😭

considering jack has the lowest amount of blood on his hands, and he actually seems to have a stronger conscience (though i could see him still having some moments where he's morally bankrupt)... i think there could be a good chance that he could be, quote unquote, 'flipped' as in change to want to redeem himself. but he feels an obligation to be loyal to his family, which might make that difficult NGL

[normal-with-adhd-is-a-joke]

woke up with like the worst pain I've ever had in my elbow, which has previously been a non-problematic joint for me. Body???

[dogearedheart]

8i've been thinking about the last asks i got today. and i think it's better for me to take a step back from this account. i know the anon didn't mean anything by it, but i still feel like i am being a negative presence on here and weirding people out with who i am is nothing i want. so, i am not deleting or anything. i am just gonna be less present with sharing personal things or leaving tags. I'll probably be more active on my second account where i don't have that many followers :)

[terryfuckingturniptruck]

So I'm seeing my grandma next month and I'm freaking out bc I know she's gonna be disappointed in me and my appearance.

[softpine]

i love casper’s blender model because it’s the only time you can see how many freckles he really has :’)

[cupcakesmoothie]

The girls (the emotions in my brain) are fightinggg

[i-wiggle-i-squirm-bc-i-am-a-worm]

‘the butterfly miraculous represents transmission’ 

shut up. It represents friendship. Noroo is a friendship butterfly, hawkmoth uses the power of friendship and love, hence why the theme song says ‘power of love always so strong,’ in this essay I will-

[brainfilehasstoppedworking]

Thinking of more Kiyotaka and Takaaki angst. Just Takaaki being so dependent on Kiyotaka for his happiness and just overall sanity. And Kiyotaka is there for his dad whenever he needs him. Not even realizing how unhealthy it is.

[dutybcrne]

While he’d had Diluc’s Vision in his care, Kaeya often spoke to it. Updates on how things were going in Mondstadt, on Jean and the Knights, quiet admissions on how much he missed him and hoped he was alright. Demands he come back to Mond alive, if not for the family he’d discarded, if not for the Knights, then for those at the Dawn Winery at the very least. They missed him more than anyone.

Kaeya doubted Diluc could even hear them, but if there was a chance those words could reach him, that Diluc could somehow be reassured through whatever turmoil he was facing in that moment and given some burst of determination to succeed through the worst from them, Kaeya would still ensure not a day went by without speaking to the Vision, conversations scarcely more than two hours apart if he could help it. It was a childish, most likely vain hope, he knew. But nothing and no one, including himself, would ever have been able to curb the habit.

Anything to make sure that Vision never once dulled to emptiness.

[dirt-goth]

Spent a lot of time this week thinking about the inherent vulnerability of being loved and was hit with the overwhelming realization of how much love I have been surrounded in and refused to let myself experience thanks to my own deep insecurities.

[ordinarytalk]

The plan is to stay in this hell job until I get public service loan forgiveness but damn if I'm not having a month that's making me consider just quitting right now and having all $50,000 of that debt fall right on my head just so I don't have to be here one single solitary second longer

[noxtivagus]

I LOVE FINAL FANTASY SO MUCH

[dollishhorrors]

idk i said i wanted to get away from my parents as soon as i turned 18 and now i'm 21 and i still feel that way but now it's like. worse. in every way possible. lol