#it hurts so bad... but I'm still alive

[imeriayapping]

I'm so happy that at least in motogp i can breathe without seeing russians because they are always lased in f1 history, they still try to push that fucking shwartzman there too and into indy, they are in wec. THEY ARE EVERYWHERE

And I can't even express my fury because I'm not gonna be called racist/nazi/xenophobic but when people do same thing to Israeli it's ok. I can't be angry at nation that killed my granddad my uncle and probably many more in my family tree. I can't be anything other than thankful for support even if it's never fucking enough because my timeline looks like necrolog.

All i see when I'm online is either other Ukrainians trying to crowdfund ammunition for our soldiers without much success because everyone and our economy is exhausted or news about how new forces join russians to kill us. It's their only goal.

And you can't just fucking cherry pick those russians you like to say that they aren't guilty. They need to embrace consequences of what their politicians are doing. You can't be innocent and russian at the same time, one of very few truly good russians died recently fighting on the side of Ukraine. Our outlook on life becoming so individualistic we don't realise that power is hold by masses, that if they wanted for war to stop those "simple russians" could just stop going to war. Their system is extremely corrupt, it's easy to escape being drafted. Only times they protest is when they get denied another app. There millions of them and somehow just dozens of those caught by police for protest. They just don't fucking care and you continue to defend them online

[gomacave]

S*fikura.......

[cielosuerte]

something distinctly sad & frustrating internally about watching someone go through something chronically awful & similar on the face of it to your own horrors & wanting to reach out and talk to them about it to offer support & knowing that by nature of the similarity that is almost definitely the last thing they want/need & so you have to sort of watch from afar and psychically beam your words at them and hope it clicks soon

[redwayfarers]

since i've been on the baby nika train, i've been thinking about how his echo could've manifested as early as like. 8 years old. his dad died when he was 7 and he moved to limsa not long after, so two big changes and shock and grief could've triggered it to start manifesting.

it explains the way limsa never really felt like a friendly place to him; imagine being 8 in a new city where you don't know anyone, a new country even, and suddenly you can speak their language without problem even though you've never heard it (bc yes, i do hc there are distinct languages of the city-states) and you can see the memories of the people around you at random. you'd feel like a weirdo, right?

it also explains why he's so maladjusted as a person. all this on top of having to deal with the parent you're very close to passing away + being dragged to a new place without ANY SUPPORT SYSTEM,,, this isn't even about the way he's deeply ashamed of himself for. many reasons and why he struggles with identity as much as he does,,, he will make me cry

[mad-hunts]

goddd. okay, i know it was honestly QUITE some time ago that i talked about jack mathis, so let me just give y'all a bit of a refresher as to why he is the (current) best of that mathis kids in my humble opinion: he doesn't like killing, but will do it in instances where he is 'forced to' (and i mean where he feels like there's no other choice BUT to do so, such as to protect one of his family members, or save them from going to jail, etc.) and jack honestly just wants to make barton proud.

(though, unfortunately, his father tends to treat him the worst out of all of his kids because of his 'joking' attitude). and he is also touch-starved as HELL / actively seeks out anything that will bring him comfort in regards to this, like warm showers, for example. so let me get on to the reason why i'm saying 'god' — him literally barely scraping by on the positive interactions he gets from barton when they have a 'family night' once a week?

as well as once a month, when his father takes a day off to just spend playing video games with jack + whatever else he wants to do? it's such a sad concept for real, because just imagine having five days out of the month feeling like they're the only reason why you've kept whatever semblance of sanity you have left. well, that and his relationship with matilda, as she is the closest sibling to him, but 😭

considering jack has the lowest amount of blood on his hands, and he actually seems to have a stronger conscience (though i could see him still having some moments where he's morally bankrupt)... i think there could be a good chance that he could be, quote unquote, 'flipped' as in change to want to redeem himself. but he feels an obligation to be loyal to his family, which might make that difficult NGL

[normal-with-adhd-is-a-joke]

woke up with like the worst pain I've ever had in my elbow, which has previously been a non-problematic joint for me. Body???

[dogearedheart]

8i've been thinking about the last asks i got today. and i think it's better for me to take a step back from this account. i know the anon didn't mean anything by it, but i still feel like i am being a negative presence on here and weirding people out with who i am is nothing i want. so, i am not deleting or anything. i am just gonna be less present with sharing personal things or leaving tags. I'll probably be more active on my second account where i don't have that many followers :)

[terryfuckingturniptruck]

So I'm seeing my grandma next month and I'm freaking out bc I know she's gonna be disappointed in me and my appearance.

[softpine]

i love casper’s blender model because it’s the only time you can see how many freckles he really has :’)

[cupcakesmoothie]

The girls (the emotions in my brain) are fightinggg

[i-wiggle-i-squirm-bc-i-am-a-worm]

‘the butterfly miraculous represents transmission’ 

shut up. It represents friendship. Noroo is a friendship butterfly, hawkmoth uses the power of friendship and love, hence why the theme song says ‘power of love always so strong,’ in this essay I will-

[brainfilehasstoppedworking]

Thinking of more Kiyotaka and Takaaki angst. Just Takaaki being so dependent on Kiyotaka for his happiness and just overall sanity. And Kiyotaka is there for his dad whenever he needs him. Not even realizing how unhealthy it is.

[pastempomat]

you know sometimes i just get the sudden realization that i will die in this house and that's both sad bc that means i never got over what happened when i was younger and comforting bc that's exactly how it was meant to be

[keeps-ache]

heyoo.. :3 do you still pick flowers to give your mother ?

[traumagenica]

.

[parakeetpark]

Y'know at least today the hysteric crying and wailing and yelling didn't start until AFTER I got home. Only did silent tears and quiet sobs at the hospital for a few hours