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foundtherightwords · 2 months ago

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Fallen Empires - Chapter 18

Pairing: Geta x OFC

Summary: Having done the unthinkable to secure his throne, Emperor Geta rules with ruthlessness and paranoia. Now, after escaping an assassination attempt, a badly injured Geta is saved by Daphne, a young widow, who takes him back to her remote village without knowing his true identity. As Daphne nurses the former emperor back to health, attraction blooms between them, and Geta discovers a soft side he didn't know he possessed. But can their love survive his thirst for revenge and his desire to reclaim power?

Chapter warnings: violence, blood

Chapter word count: 3.8k

Prologue + Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 9 - Chapter 10 - Chapter 11 - Chapter 12 - Chapter 13 - Chapter 14 - Chapter 15 - Chapter 16 - Chapter 17

Chapter 18

He didn't know where he was going, and he didn't care. He only wanted to get far away, as far as he could, and to push himself until he could no longer think, could no longer see Daphne's horrified face in his mind's eyes.

In the end, that was what had made him leave. Not her fear of assassins—though he had to admit the thought had crossed his mind, that whoever was hunting him would hurt her, to reach him—not her anger at his lies, nor her disgust at his crimes. It was the look of utter betrayal in her eyes, completely devoid of warmth and affection and love, as though she no longer recognized him. That was when Geta knew no amount of begging or threats could have changed her mind. That was when he knew he had to go.

Fool, fool, fool! He should have told Daphne the truth months ago, when she had first found him. It might have made her afraid of him, but at least she wouldn't have hated him. Would she? Would she still love him then? Or would she simply leave him to die?

He tried to focus his mind on the matter at hand to distract himself, or else he would break down on this road, and he couldn't have that. If nothing else, he still had his dignity. He may have lost his life, his power, and even his love, but he had to hold on to his dignity. Some precious dignity it was.

Where could he go? To Adala, and trying to find passage from there to Hemesos? He had no money left, though perhaps in Adala he could sell his ring to pay his way. His ring... Geta looked down at his hand with a humorless smile. Some poor sap would be holding the power of the entire Empire in his hand and wouldn't even know it.

And if he was able to reach Hemesos, what then? Find his aunt, if she was still alive, raise an army, and challenge Macrinus for the throne? At the thought of Macrinus and the throne, Geta was momentarily overwhelmed by a feeling of disgust, almost physical in its power. He no longer had any desire, or indeed any stomach, to rule, to seek revenge. Here his thoughts came back to Daphne, like ships flocking to the lighthouse of Alexandria, despite all his effort to keep his mind away from her. How unfair it was that she should discover the truth just as he decided to give it all up for her! But... what if he was to defeat Macrinus, not for the throne, but only to protect Daphne, to reassure her that no assassin would ever come for her? Would she take him back then? And even more importantly, could he come back to her then? If he did all that, would he still be the man she loved? Would he still be worthy of her, or would he revert to the tyrant he once had been, like a drunkard who had vowed to stay sober, only to fall back on excessive drinking once a drop of wine touched his lips again?

He walked until sundown. A brackish smell and the shaggy shapes of willow bushes rising out of the shadow told him he was close to the stream, which now must have been reduced to just a series of mud-filled pools due to the summer heat. The stream was on his left, so he was on the right path to Adala, only it was too dark to continue. The wind died down, and the maddening buzz of mosquitoes around his head got louder. He broke off a tree branch to swat at them, but they still landed on him and bit him until itchy welts broke out all over his arms and legs. The thought of the stream made him realize how thirsty he was, and with thirst came hunger as well. Strange how the body still craves sustenance even when the mind has no appetite for it.

He sat down next to a willow bush and continued to swat at the mosquitoes while listening to his stomach growl. He wondered if he could hunt a rabbit or a bird, until he remembered that he had no means to start a fire to cook it. Besides, he didn't know how to hunt. In Rome and Antioch, his past-time of choice had been racing, not hunting, while the "hunts" he'd often watched in the Colosseum were little more than staged executions, spectacles put on to satisfy the Roman thirst for bloodshed, utterly removed from real life.

For the first time since escaping his assassin, Geta found himself at a loose end, without knowing where or how he was going to spend the night. Before, he had always been taken care of by someone else, the slaves, the soldiers, or Daphne. Always Daphne. It was a bitter dose to swallow, this realization that she could very well live without him, but he couldn't live without her. What a useless, pathetic fool he was! Did he fancy himself a great military leader and a powerful emperor? He couldn't even survive on his own.

But sitting here feeling sorry for himself would not fill his stomach or save him from getting eaten alive by the mosquitoes. It was out of the question to go into the village—that would draw unwanted attention to himself. After some consideration, Geta struggled to his feet and walked further down the bank of the stream. He remembered when he and Daphne made their journey to Adala, they had run into a few shepherds and their dust-colored sheep along the way. Shepherds had to sleep and eat as well, so he hoped he may come across a shepherd's hut, where he could ask for food and shelter without raising too much suspicion.

His hope turned out to be futile, for there was no sign of habitation anywhere around him, no flickering fire, no soft bleats of a herd of sheep settling down for the night. What he did find though, was a wild fig tree, its branches laden with fruits, some so ripe that they had split open, sweet juice clinging to the purple skin like drops of honey under the pale starlight. He gorged himself, thanking Bacchus for the bounty. Although this hermit's meal did not fully satisfy him, the fruits soothed both his hunger and thirst. The wind picked up again, and the mosquitoes finally left him alone, so once the last fig had been consumed, he wrapped himself in his cloak and lay down amongst the willows.

Now that the discomfort of his body had subsided, he became aware of another pain, a strange weight on his chest, different from the breathlessness and the tightness of his lungs in the early days of his injuries. It took him a moment to realize that it was his heart that was wounded and bleeding this time. The sweet, gentle ache he often felt around Daphne had now turned agonizing with their separation, and his heart was crying out for her, crying and yearning in vain, until exhaustion sent him into a sorrowful, restless sleep.

***

He was in his mother's chamber at the palace. Outside, the riot raged on, the crowd chanting the names of the traitorous Acacius and his wife Lucilla, drowning out even the screams of those being cut down by mounted soldiers. Geta's hand shook as he pushed back the curtain to look at the heaving of torches and bodies at the foot of the Palatine Hill. There had been riots before, many since he and Caracalla took the thrones, but none as bad as this. He knew he'd made a mistake, executing the hero of Rome in such a public manner, but what else could he have done? Acacius and Lucilla had committed high treason, and examples must be made of them. Behind him, Julia Domna was trying to soothe his nerves, suggesting different ways to calm the crowd, perhaps getting out of Rome until the people had forgotten their anger. But Geta refused. He wouldn't run away. He couldn't have the people doubt his ability to rule. Their ability to rule. And where was his co-emperor now? Caracalla had gone somewhere, hidden like the coward that he was.

And suddenly Caracalla was there in the chamber, looking ridiculous in his fancy clothes and jewelry, waving a blade in his hand. What a fraud. Caracalla didn't even know how to hold a sword, let alone use one. The old hatred surged within Geta as he took in the sight of his brother, temporarily eclipsing his fear. No. That hatred wasn't real. Caracalla couldn't help what he'd become, couldn't see beyond the rivalry that their father had unwittingly caused between them by forcing them to share everything. But Geta could. And he must convince Caracalla of that, so they could stay united and be a family, so they could weather this storm...

"You lie," said Caracalla with a snarl, gold tooth glinting. "You always lie!"

Before Geta knew what was happening, Caracalla rushed forward, sword drawn. The blade slashed across Geta's palm, yet he felt nothing. Their mother screamed. Geta shouted for the Praetorians, who ran into the chamber, only to pause and look between the two brothers in confusion. Which Emperor to save? Geta grabbed Caracalla's hand, wrestling for the sword. Their mother was shouting at the Praetorians to break them up. No, this wasn't real. The anger, the blood, none of it was real. Geta pleaded with his brother, reminded him of their childhood, anything to break the spell. But he could see that it was too late. Caracalla had gone mad. Perhaps Geta had gone mad as well. The whole world was mad, so why not them too?

The Fates, Nona, Decima, and Morta, were watching them from the shadow, scissors poised over the twin threads of their lives. Which one would they cut? Not mine. Not mine.

Gathering his strength, Geta wrenched the blade out of Caracalla's hand and pushed him off. Next thing Geta knew, Caracalla was cowering in their mother's arm, blood splattering his purple toga. Who had struck the fatal blow? Had it been one of the Praetorians, or had it been Geta himself? Geta didn't care. He bore down on his brother and raised the sword. Kill, or be killed. Be a soldier, not a weakling.

Snip. Morta's scissors snapped shut over the thread with a sharp sound that sent chills down his spine.

He felt it, the moment the thread was cut, the moment sword met flesh. Only it wasn't his brother's flesh. It was his own. He was lying in a crimson pool, and, standing over him, was Macrinus, his earring glinting in the torchlight.

"You'll never be emperor," said Macrinus, voice dripping with disdain just as the sword in his hand was dripping with blood.

Geta tried to get up, to tell Macrinus that he didn't want to be emperor anyway, but he couldn't open his mouth, couldn't move. A wave of fear washed over him, holding him down, pinning his limbs to the cold marble floor, drowning him.

Then, as he continued to struggle against the invisible bond around his body, a soft voice spoke in his ears, "Romulus? Come back to me."

He looked up and saw Daphne's green eyes. As if by magic, the fear of Macrinus, the anger at his father, the guilt over his brother, the sorrow for his mother, drained out of him, to be replaced by a wonderful peace. Macrinus, his brother and mother, the Praetorians, were all gone. Only Daphne remained, and that was all that mattered. She was all that mattered.

"I want to come back, carissima," he told her. "But you won't let me."

She shook her head, impatient. "You aren't trying hard enough."

"Tell me what to do then," he pleaded, grasping for her hands. "Tell me how to get back to you."

"The gates of Hell are open night and day," Daphne whispered. "Smooth is the descent, and easy is the way." Geta looked up at her in fear, but she was unchanged. Her eyes remained tender and her voice soft, as she leaned closer, lips brushing his. "But to come back and view the cheerful skies," she continued. "In this the task and the mighty labor lies."

Heedless of his mortal wounds, he strained toward her, desperate to catch her kiss, but already she was retreating, fading away, and he only felt cold air on his lips.

He woke with a start. He was still lying by the willow bush, stiff and sore from the hard ground. It must be nearly dawn—or so he guessed, from the light gray of the sky and the cold dew that had settled on his hair and his cloak while he slept. The dream was still vivid in his mind, and as he sat up to rub some life into his limbs, he could almost feel the sword going into his flesh again. A remnant of the fear was still there as well, and that fear also brought shame. Why should he be so afraid of Macrinus? He should be furious, he should be ready to run that traitor through with his sword...

But he couldn't. He no longer had it in him. The thirst for revenge, the anger, the desire for power, they were gone, evaporated in the light of the rising sun like the ghosts of his dreams. Only one thing endured—his love for Daphne.

The poem from his dream came back to him then.

The gates of Hell are open night and day, Smooth is the descent, and easy is the way. But to come back and view the cheerful skies, In this the task and mighty labor lies.

Virgil, the Aeneid. He had never paid much attention to the poetry lessons in his youth, but those lines he remembered. He'd once heard them from the mouth of a slave, spoken in defiance and veiled threat, but now, when he imagined them in Daphne's sweet voice, they became sobering, rallying words.

Well, he had been to Hell. And now he would come back. He was not going to Hemesos to chase after some wild hope that he might regain the throne. He would come back to Daphne, as she had bidden him in the dream. She was his cheerful skies. No matter how hard the task, no matter how mighty the labor, he would come back to her.

With that new resolve in mind, he got to his feet, feeling much more hopeful than he had when he'd gone to sleep the night before. He could even ignore the gnawing hunger in his belly, and his feet were steady as he made his way back to the village.

***

The sun was high above the hills and spreading its warmth on the path by the time the first cottage came into view. Geta hesitated a little. He'd decided that going straight back to Daphne would be a mistake, when his betrayal was still so raw in her mind. Instead, he could appeal to her mother. The old woman liked him. He could tell her that he and Daphne had had a quarrel, and perhaps she would convince Daphne to give him another chance. Yet now he just realized he didn't know where Daphne's family lived. He could ask around, but how to do it without drawing attention to himself?

An acrid smell of smoke and the sound of metal striking metal brought him to the smithy. A group of men sat around the hut, drinking and drawling around bowls of almonds and olives, while the red-faced smith wielded his hammer over a lump of red-hot metal behind them. Geta recognized a few of them as Daphne's patients.

Trying to hold himself more humbly, not so difficult now after everything he'd been through, he approached the men. "Excuse me," he said. "Can any of you tell me where Attikos, son of Timon, lives?"

They turned to him. One of them, with the leathery skin of a shepherd who spent all his youth under the merciless desert sun and a long, white beard that gave him an air of wisdom, stood up. "I am Kavos, the village chief," the old man said. So this was Master Kavos. "What business do you have with Attikos?"

Geta was prepared. "My name is Romulus," he replied. "We know each other from the army. Attikos told me to look him up if I ever find myself in these parts. My travels brought me here, so I thought I'd pay him a visit."

That seemed good enough for Kavos, who pointed down the path. "Follow this lane to the north end of the village, and you'll find Timon's house on your right. It's one of the last huts on the lane, with an almond tree out front. You can't miss it."

Geta nodded his thanks and was about to go on his way, when the smith, dropping the blade he'd been shaping into the nearby bucket of water amidst a cloud of steam, spoke up. "You won't find anyone at home, lad."

"How so?" Geta asked.

"I ran into Attikos' brother, Mikkos, early this morning," said the smith. "They've all gone out looking for Timon. Seems the old fool hasn't been home for days."

"Timon's never home," one of the men chimed in. "He's probably lying in a ditch somewhere, drunk as a piper."

"Well, that's all the more reason to find him, isn't it?" said Kavos.

"I don't see why they bother," the other man continued. "They would all be better off if he's dead."

This appeared to be too cruel a jab for the other men, who all made gestures to ward off evil. "Musa!" chided Kavos. "That is unkind." He turned back to Geta and cleared his throat, clearly embarrassed at such a display in front of a stranger. "In that case, perhaps it's best if you join us and wait for them here. They're bound to come this way sooner or later."

Geta hesitated. On the one hand, he was impatient to get back to Daphne, and if he sat here with these graybeards, he might let slip something that raised their suspicion. On the other, it would be even more suspicious if he just left. Besides, the wine looked inviting, and he was terribly thirsty.

"With pleasure," he said, sitting down. Kavos poured him a beaker of wine, which he gratefully downed in one gulp. "Thank you," he remembered to add.

"And where are you headed?" Kavos asked, fixing Geta with his sharp gaze.

He was prepared for that as well. "Home, in Syria."

One of the men laughed. "A Syrian lad named Romulus? Your parents have a sense of humor, don't they?"

Geta grinned. "My father was Roman," he said, by way of explanation. It was a lie, but the less he gave away about himself, the better.

The men didn't let him off that easily. "So you served with Attikos in Baras, then?" one of them asked. "Saw any action there?"

Geta wracked his brain, trying to recall if his army had ever been to Baras. It was a city in Sophene, and, as most cities in the area, a point of contention between Rome and its neighbors, Armenia in this case, but he couldn't remember it being of much consequence. He shrugged and was about to answer when his attention was caught by a figure staggering up the lane. As the figure drew near, Geta recognized those heavy features, those shifty eyes, and that red, bulbous nose. Timon. The man was dragging his feet toward the smithy, swaying slightly, a hand gripping his side as if he had a stitch there.

Following Geta's eyes, the elders saw the drunk man as well. "There you are, Timon," Kavos said. "Your family has been looking for you—" The old man paused, and a look of concern came over his face.

Geta realized something was wrong. At close quarters, Timon didn't look drunk. Instead of the flush of alcohol, his face was as white as chalk. Something dark was welling up under the hand clutching at his side and dripping down the front of his tunic, onto the dust of the lane. Blood.

Geta jumped to his feet. "He's injured!" he shouted. At that moment, Timon collapsed to the dirt.

There was a great commotion as the men ran out and crowded around Timon. Someone took away his hand, and they all gasped to see his palm covered in blood. Timon lay on his back with his mouth open and his tongue lolling out, looking as though he was already dead. There were flecks of blood around his lips. Geta had seen such sights so many times on the battlefield, there was no mistaking it. Daphne's father had been dealt a fatal wound.

"Somebody, fetch help!" Kavos said. "Get Daphne!"

Hearing Daphne's name, Timon roused himself. "No!" he croaked, clinging to the front of Kavos's robe. "Don't bring her here—he's after her—"

"He's delirious," someone said.

Kavos knelt by the dying man. "What happened, Timon? Who did this to you?"

"Bastard—pierced ear—" Timon choked out. Then his eyes settled on Geta, who was hanging on the edge of the group, and widened in shock. "You!" Timon hissed. "He's after you too!"

The men whirled around to stare at Geta curiously, but he was no longer afraid of their attention. Timon's words had driven a much bigger fear through him, turning his bowels into ice.

"What do you mean?" he said, yanking Timon up by his tunic. "Who is after me?" Timon grimaced as his wound bled anew, only Geta was past caring. "Tell me!"

"I—gambling—the merchant caravan—" Timon said, gasping as though each word pained him. "He saw—Roman coins—asked where I got them—told him about you—stuck me with his knife—he's on his way there now—to Daphne's—"

Geta didn't stop to hear the rest. The fabric of Timon's robe, already soaked with blood, slipped from his hands, and Timon fell to the ground. Geta turned on his heel, but Kavos seized his arm. "Wait now, lad! What's this about?" he asked.

"I have to warn Daphne," Geta said, shaking off the old man's grip.

Kavos's bushy eyebrows went up. "How do you know her?"

Geta looked around the men, torn between wanting to avoid suspicion and the urge to get to Daphne. "Ask Attikos," eventually he said. "He'll explain everything. If I'm not back in half an hour, send someone to Daphne's."

Leaving others to tend to the dying man, he ran toward the hills in the distance, praying to Mercury to lend swiftness to his tired legs, praying to Minerva and Diana and Juno to protect Daphne, praying to all the gods that he was not too late.

Chapter 19

This, along with the prologue, was the chapter I had to rewrite most extensively to tie it to the movie - namely, I added a brief mention of Acacius and Lucilla, rewrote the confrontation between Caracalla and Geta to be closer to the movie (though I still had their mother present and no Macrinus), and added the lines of the Aeneid recited by Lucius. In my headcanon, after killing Caracalla, Geta just had Lucilla and Lucius quietly executed to avoid further outcry, so I can safely ignore the rest of the movie :P

Taglist: @sheneedsrocknroll92, @justnobodynothingmore, @barcelonaloverf1life, @myotakureprieve, @flawssy-227, @itsrainingbisexualfrogs, @deliciousfestsalad, @charmingballoon (if you want to be tagged or removed, let me know!)

#joseph quinn #joseph quinn fic #gladiator 2 #emperor geta #gladiator 2 fic #emperor geta fic #geta #emperor geta x ofc #geta x ofc

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skz-bibi · 2 months ago

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strawberries　and 　cigarettes,　 𒂭۪۪۪۪᳝۟ 𓏶

always　taste 　like 　you

ⓘ. 𝟑𝟑𝟑 ✉︎ bibi’s relationship with stray kids.

𝓲𝓿 ⦂ 방찬 BANG CHAN ?!

his problem child frfr , definitely knew what he was getting himself into though , he saw the hyper active girl one day and decided to adopt her into his little circle of children.

he loved the way she sang , so he asked her to do backtrack for a 3racha song , she said yeah of course she'd do it.

he heard her sing and he decided he wanted her in the group he was forming.fought tooth and nail to get her in the group , didn't care if it was different he wanted her and.

6 years later they've just grown to love each other even more and bibi continues to stress him out.

𝓲𝓿 ⦂ 리노 LEE KNOW ?!

bibi was raised by her parents? no lee know raised her , this is his child and no one can tell him otherwise.

will run across the ocean for her if she needs something , it's been like this since the survival show.

is really soft with her , people say he treats her how he treats his cats , he is really soft spoken , he doesn't scold her much and he doesn't yell at her at all.

chan sends lee know after her to calm her down when he can't do it.

𝓲𝓿 ⦂ ��빈 CHANGBIN ?!

bibi biggest protector , like nobody is allowed to even look at her wrong , if you even breath her way that he deems weird , it's over.

he's been like this since he met her during during 3racha days , because she was often made fun and bullied of during her trainee days by other trainees.

much like lee know he's really soft around her though , like even the way he talks to her is soft , it's something he doesn't even know, but other people do.

definitely forces her to go to the gym when they have off , she doesn't really care sometimes (big emphases on sometimes).

𝓲𝓿 ⦂ 현진 HYUNJIN ?!

was the first person she ever met in jype other than jeongin , even chan.

she would always see him in the cafeteria as a trainee and he'd buy her a drink before returning to practice.

much like everyone else , she thought he was so beautiful , and when she saw him dance she was amazed.

is constantly amazed by everything he does now , she's hyunjin biased forsure (sorry innie).

fans see these two and jeongin going out to dinner all time , like three or four times a week there's a new sighting of them.

𝓲𝓿 ⦂ 한 HAN JISUNG ?!

such a silly ship , just all around laughs with these two.

bibi is definitely the extrovert bestfriend ( even though she’s a introvert herself ) who just adopted a introvert jisung who easily opened up to her.

he said he feels comfortable around her , and she gives him the space to open up and be his true self around her.

knows he doesn't really go out a lot so she'll go over to the 3racha dorm and watch animes with him since she also enjoyes them.

𝓲𝓿 ⦂ 필릭스 FELIX ?!

the chicken and cat duo , people call them brother and sister cause of their long lasting blonde eras.

she's his protector , she will hunt anyone down if they have the slightest bad thing to say about him.

got along easily because there was no language barrier between them , and felix was so kind to her , bringing her little treats and things before practice.

he's her biggest supporter , talks about how talented she everytime she has a solo schedule.

𝓲𝓿 ⦂ 승민 SEUNGMIN ?!

you'd think they hated each other the way they argue and fight , but to them it's like how they communicate with each other.

it's never real and its jokes that they know they're comfortable with though , they'd never purposely hurt each other.

you can definitely see their real friendship when they're caught off guard when filming, like behind the scenes or of a fan see's them in public.

fans are just waiting for the duet song together , they've been waiting for 5 years.

𝓲𝓿 ⦂ 아이엔 I.N ?!

bestfriends? no— more like soulmates since they were 14 and she moved back to busan. they were seatmates.

he was the only one who talked to her , her parents thought it would be better if they didn't send her to a international school so that she'd learn korean quicker.

sadly besides her teachers , he was the only one who talked to her and their friendship blossomed , they spent everyday together.

he was the one who talked her into engergy into signing up for jyp , they were so happy when they both got excepted , even more excited when they ended up debuting with each other.

nobody can't deny the love they have for each other , they get each other on another level that no one understands.

the only other person he will initiate physical touch with.

©️SKZ-BIBI

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fornasedensgudar · 2 years ago

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A while back ago I had a lil rant about the pagan/heathen/witch community and made this list with my friend about some problematic aspects about our craft/faith/practise or what ever you call it to help pepole who are new to it.

Idk if it any of worth or if anyone will bother to read all this but I hope its somehow helpfull for you new ones to this path.

(Pardon my 🇬🇧, im a 🇸🇪)

1. Not every polytheist does magic or has an intrest in it and thats ok.

2. Not every norse heathen knows runes or has to know every Rune and meanings to have a meaningfull relation to the gods and nature.

3. Not every raven is a sign of Odin, sometimes it just means you saw a raven and thats just as good if not better if you ask me.

4. Being able to quote havamal in old norse or know every myth and kenning of the gods is good. But does not mean you have a stronger spirital connection the land and the gods then those who dont know it all. It just means you are good at reading. And that in it self is something you should take pride in.

5. A good acorn and some dirt is just as good if not better than any long ritual with ancient chantings sourounded by a collection of crystals.

6. The pebble you find on a walk can shine just as fine on your altar, as the amethyst that was mined and payed for.

7. Your altar dont have to look Nice, it just need to feel Nice.

8. An offering dont have to be big to work. It just have to mean something.

9. Offering one loaf of bread you baked with your own two hands, is worth more than five loafs you payed somone to bake.

10. Just because a pebble dont have a story, does not mean it never had one. And just because a star has a story, does not mean its a good one.

11. If all nature is holy, that includes the parts you dont like or find nasty. Yes even ticks and spiders, mud and horrnets. No one said you had to like holy things.

12. Your body is a temple yes, but you and only you decides what rites and offerings are right the god within said temple.

13. You can still be a drunk horny ape and be spiritual.

14. No illustration of the gods is more corect or more true to their form.

But then there is no garantee everyone will see who its meant to be. And thats ok.

15. Doing spirtual junk and practise magic or healing does not make you more enlightened...

16. Just because you wrote a book about magic, healing and spiritual matters, does not make it a good book or you a good author.

17. Just because someone you look up to said it, does not make it more right. It just means they said it.

18. Making this list to remind the pagan/witch/heathen community to hummble them selfs does not make me better. Im also doing this to just remind myself. Im not better or wiser than any of you lot.

19. Dont ever expect to have your craft respected if you dont give that same respect back to others.

20. It does not matter how old or big your coven or group is. If it has toxic and harmfull parts that clearly hurt and or make pepole unhappy. Then its ok to criticize it. Age or size does not make it untuchble.

21. If a craft or faith says its all about nature but cant change its ways, then it has clearly missed a very important thing about how nature works.

22. Every rock is an altar and every forest is a temple.

23. For every horn of mead you offer to the gods, you should plant at least one seed.

24. If all in this world has a spirit and is alive, does not mean you cant take space and exist and live in it.

25. Its not about beliving. Its about to experience and to perceive. That if you ask me, is the core of animism and polytheism.

#polytheism #heathen #pagan polytheism #norse polytheism #pagan #paganism #fornsed #nordic animism #animism #wicca #witch #spiritual

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wei-ying-kexing-apologist · 2 months ago

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Bengiyo's Queer Cinema Syllabus

For those of you who don’t know, I decided to run the gauntlet of @bengiyo’s queer cinema syllabus, which is comprised of 9 units. I have completed four of the units (here is my queer cinema syllabus round up post with all the films I’ve watched and written about so far). It is time for me to make my way through Unit 5- Lesbians, which includes the following films: The Incredibly True Adventure of Two Girls in Love (1995), Bound (1996), Water Lilies (2007), Saving Face (2004), D.E.B.S. (2004), Set It Off (1996), The Handmaiden (2016), Carol (2015), Imagine Me and You (2005), Two of Us (2019), Rafiki (2018), and The Color Purple (1985).

Today I will be watching:

Rafiki (2018) dir. Wanuri Kahiu

[Run Time: 1 hour 22 minutes, Language: Swahili, English, Available on: Tubi, Google Play, Apply Play, Amazon Prime, YouTube rentals]

Summary: "Good Kenyan girls become good Kenyan wives," but Kena and Ziki long for something more. When love blossoms between them, the two girls will be forced to choose between happiness and safety.

Cast:

Samantha Mugatsia as Kena Mwaura

Sheila Munyiva as Ziki Okemi

Here is what I have learned about Rafiki (main source is Wikipedia):

Rafiki was adapted from author Monica Arac de Nyeko’s short story Jambala Tree.

Rafiki was the first feature film to feature two women falling in love to come out of Kenya.

Rafiki was the first Kenyan film to be screened at the Cannes Film Festival.

Rafiki was banned in Kenya for promoting homosexuality after the writer and director refused to change the ending. Homosexuality is illegal in Kenya and can result in 14 years imprisonment, but support for LGBTQ rights is growing.

The writer and director, Wanuri Kahiu, sued the Kenyan government in order to allow the film to be screened in Kenya long enough to meet the eligibility criteria for entry into the Academy Awards.

The ban on the film was lifted for seven days, and every day it played to a sold out audience and brought in millions of shillings (1 million KES is ~7,700 USD)

Rafiki won Best Narrative Feature at the 2019 Seattle Queer Film Festival and a Silver Hugo Award at the Chicago International Film Festival. In total, Rafiki received 17 nominations and 17 awards at various international film festivals.

This was Samantha Mugatsia’s first role and Samantha won an award for Best Actress from the FESPACO festival.

Wanuri Kahiu is also the cofounder of a media collective called AFROBUBBLEGUM which supports African art “for its own sake.”

Samantha Mugatsia was in another film in 2018 but I do not see additional credits on IMDB, Sheila Munyiva was still getting work as recently as 2023, and Wanuri Kahiu is still working as well.

So needless to say, this film is incredibly important and successful despite the barriers it found around it. I saw some reviews for this film that mentioned how the narrative was rather simplistic and the characters fairly flat and while I do not entirely disagree, though I also do not consider that to be 100% accurate. I think there are a lot of little moments of dimensionality in some of the characters that make me want to see more of them. Blacksta’s clear romantic interest in Kena and the way in which he is constantly kind and friendly to her to the point where he is the one she goes to for comfort after everything goes to shit only to have his last appearance be him stalking off angry that Kena is “hurting all the people that care about” her when she tells him she loves Ziki.

Mama Atim being homophobic to the point of a) aiding in the discovery and subsequent facilitation of a gay bashing by the local community and b) not letting Kena touch her when they meet in the hospital where Kena is working as a doctor, only to immediately turn around and tell Kena that Ziki is back in the country, thereby facilitating their reunion and the hopeful ending that got this film banned in the first place.

Kena’s father being kind and relatively accepting of his daughter’s homosexuality while there are implications around (though never direct references to) the reason he may be divorced, and remarried, with a child on the way.

Ziki being the one not to care about how much of their intimacy the public may see only to be the one to pull away from Kena after they get caught, because she is experiencing severe consequences for perhaps the first time (that is an assumption on my part, I just know the girl is relatively wealthy).

All of this to say that often the moments of complexity are small, but they do exist.

Anyhoo, I think what I am thinking the most about in way of this film is less the plot and more everything else around it. Because this queer cinema syllabus is a warm up to watching BL, the challenges this film had with getting funding (their funding sources all came from outside of Kenya), with distribution, the legal battles Kahiu had to fight to get this film seen in a country she so clearly and deeply loves. Despite that, this film was a success, it broke a number of different barriers, and I will perpetually find it interesting how the prospect of money or positive attention can do so much to get a story out into the world.

This film promotes illegal behavior, this film was banned from airing in Kenya as a result. Yet, this film still aired in Kenya because someone making a legal ruling gave it a chance to meet eligibility criteria for one of (if not the) most famous awards shows in the world. And at the end of the day it wasn’t even the film that Kenya ended up submitting to the Academy Awards. This film sold out theaters, it raked in cash, it was the first in a number of ways.

It just makes me think of countries like Korea where, sure, homosexuality is not illegal, but where certain rights are still denied to queer people. Where very few celebrities are openly queer for risk of losing their jobs, yet continues to create BLs that gain international attention. Hell, even Thailand, which has established themselves as a BL soft power, sees many openly queer people struggling to find work in the film industry in spite of how many queer stories are getting pumped out. Also, I will no longer be accepting dead fish kisses from queer shows if the first lesbian love story out of Kenya gave us actual kisses.

I don’t know exactly where I am going with this, I do not consider the situation of BL and the situation of Rafiki to be identical, just similar. That Rafiki still obtains concessions from a country where being queer can get you incarcerated because it has the chance to be seen in high profile competitions is an interesting, though not entirely surprising, phenomenon.

About the film itself: I loved the use of color in it, it falls into the same trend of all other lesbian films in that a lot of it is comprised of silent glances between women longing to be together. I think it went for a wider net with a shallower lens rather than a smaller scope and deeper exploration. I felt like the film definitely started slow, but that the relationship between Ziki and Kena developed incredibly fast, to the point where I wondered if they were maybe already together in some fashion before the film even started (not dating, but at least both already having established a mutual interest, etc). I do think Kahiu did a good job of putting enough detail in that it felt like there were other things happening around the main plot to flesh out the world these characters were living in.

I loved that when we first learn about Ziki’s desires, it is to get out of Kenya, go somewhere people have never met an actual African, and not be like other Kenyan girls. But that when the choice to leave is removed from her, and she is sent to London to escape the societal backlash from being caught being queer, that she does not want to go. I loved that Kena was the one who spent a lot of time hiding her sexuality and her affection for Ziki before they were discovered, only to be the person to try to continue, to be visible, to be with Ziki after they are caught and beaten.

I thought it was so incredibly brave of Kena to walk up to Ziki’s door, look Ziki’s mother in the eye, and ask to talk to her daughter after everything that had happened the previous night, after being threatened by Ziki’s mother when she first catches them, and insulted by her mother when she comes to pick Ziki up from the police station.

I am in awe of people who stick to their convictions in cases like this. Wanuri Kaihu, who just wanted to “portray a "normal love story" that acknowledges the heroic challenges of choosing a "difficult love"” and does not see this act as a political one did not back down when faced with the options of removing hope from the ending and letting the film play in her own country or letting these girls meet again, in the sunshine, and have it kept from her own people. It reminds me of Strange Fruit from Unit 4, actually, when Kyle Schickner rejected $6 million in funding for his film because it would not have then been able to make his main character Black and gay. I marvel at how often people do not make those same decisions.

Favorite Moment

Okay, so. It is a very short and simple moment, only a few seconds long, but from my perspective it is one of the most important scenes in the entire film. Right near the end, after Kena has gone to see Ziki and Ziki has told her she will be sent to London, she goes and sits on a bench by herself. And after a moment someone just quietly takes a seat next to her. It is the other out, gay character who we have seen multiple times in passing. They just look at each other, neither of them says a word. But dear GOD I loved it so much.

Every time we have seen him before this moment, he is being harassed on the street. He is clearly living an entire life with his own struggle that exists completely outside of Kena and Ziki’s. At one point his face is bandaged, a clear indicator that he had recently been physically assaulted. Every time Kena is present when he is being harassed all she can do is get up silently and walk away. She never stands up for him, she never checks in on him. I actually had a moment of disappointment at one point when Kena storms off and Ziki goes to check on her upset because Kena left her alone. Kena opens the sliding door of the van and I thought for just the briefest of seconds that it might cut to that guy sitting there.

Instead it is candles, and they have sex, and that is also great and I am glad that scene exists, but I think in the times we are living in now, I was a little sad to see that they were not silently supporting each other. WHICH IS WHY I AM SO GLAD THAT HE DID AT THE END.

It is so so so so so important to me that this gay man, who has been living his life openly and suffering for it, and knows what it is like just sits down next to Kena to let her know that he is watching, that he is there, and that he understands. And he doesn’t even have to say a fucking word. That is community looking out for each other, and it will be beautiful every time.

Favorite Quote

“I wish we could go someplace we were real”

Score

8.5/10

It was not my favorite film, but I am so grateful that it exists, and I hope that the queer people living in Kenya who need movies like this one have found a way to watch it, and I think that the fact this film exists at all is amazing.

Coming up next, the last film in Unit 5: Lesbians- The Color Purple. I actually just got the audiobook from the library so I am looking forward to approaching the film viewing with more of an adaptation lens on it.

#bengiyo queer cinema syllabus #queer cinema syllabus #queer cinema #unit 5: lesbians #rafiki #rafiki (2018)#grateful for this project and for this film

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lathalea · 10 months ago

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Yes, it is finally happening!

Lathalea’s

💎 HUGE 💎

Follower Celebration

… is here!

Remember the poll from last week? The results are here! You have spoken!

Thank you everyone for participating! 💙🙏

💎 What happens now?

Per your request,

I’m going to write ficlets for you, my lovely followers!

And I can’t wait! 🤩

💎 It’s time for the Prompt Game!

HERE ARE THE RULES:

💎 To take part in the celebration, you have to be my follower before it starts!

💎 For the Prompt Game, I will have around 10 slots open. Maybe a few less, maybe a few more (it depends on boring real life stuff, sorry, I’ll try to do my best!).

💎 The participants will be picked on the "first come, first serve" basis.

💎 I’m going to write ficlets (300-500 words) based on Tolkien’s Middle Earth and the characters created by JRRT.

💎 Pick your favorite pairing, the prompt you’ve been dreaming of (or 1-2 prompt numbers from the list below), any additional details you want me to include (like your OC, quote, vibes…), and send me an ask! No anons please 🙏

💎 I will be happy to write about things like: canon x canon, canon x oc, canon x reader, oc x oc, oc x reader, textual ghosts, G-E rated romance (to request E-rated stuff, you have to be an adult), angst, gen fics, fluff, GIME, crack fics, Middle Earth locations, headcanons, imagines, worldbuilding… and much more.

💎 I’m not in the right headspace to write about things like: incest, rape, death, explicit descriptions of injuries/childbirth, themes/characters I’m not too familiar with.

💎 If you’re one of the lucky participants but I’m unable to fulfill your request because of some its content, don’t worry! You won’t lose your spot! I’ll ask you to submit a new fic request.

💎 Any questions? You know where to find me!

⬇️⬇️PROMPT LIST BELOW THE CUT ⬇️⬇️

If you’ve just ran out of fic ideas or there’s something here that speaks to you, please add one or two prompt numbers to your ask:

1. “I lost my way. Twice.”

2. Regency AU

3. "It was an... accident?"

4. Pirate AU

5. “You did this for me?”

6. Neighbor AU

7. “We could just stay like this, cuddling all night, if that is what you wish."

8. Forbidden Love AU

9. “Whose wedding is this?” “Ours.”

10. Soulmate AU

11. “Tell me what you see.”

12. Library AU

13. “Where am I?”

14. Best Friends AU / Friends to Lovers AU (you pick)

15. “Is anything you say to me true?”

16. Modern AU

17. “The stars are bright tonight, aren't they?" "Not as bright as you…”

18. Stranded AU

19. “This quest is yours alone.”

20. Room Mate AU

21. “We shouldn’t be doing this.”

22. Fake Dating/Engagement/Marriage AU

23. “Make a wish.”

24. Amnesia AU

25. “Do I know you from somewhere?”

26. Hurt/Comfort AU

27. “What does your heart tell you?”

28. Meet-awful AU (funny!)

29. “How did you get here and what are you doing in my bed?!”

30. An AU of your choice

31. Surprise me, Lathalea! 🤩

Ready?

🎉 Let the Prompt Game begin!🎉

Good luck everyone! 💙

XXX,

Lathalea

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masked-fools · 2 years ago

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❝ your old buddy sampo is a model citizen these days. y'know the guards on sentry duty in the restricted zone? i deliver their breakfast every day! ❞

— Sampo Koski, ancient relic specialist

Tavern Notice Board

7th of August — 13th of August

(1) forsaken and yet not [blade, kafka] — @leonistic

even when the world is against them you stand by their side

(2) an apology [kafka] — @c0metes

reader is a stellaron hunter and got their shoulder hurt. some love acrobatics. guns and bullets and swords, average day for a stellaron hunter

(3) vacation on jarilo-vi — @xieni-logs

astral express crew with a child!reader

(4) with a vidyadhara reader [blade, dan heng, jing yuan] — @pyroxeene

them with a vidyadhara reader whose tail gives away their true feelings

(5) habits before bed [sampo, jing yuan, gepard, dan heng] — @cnnmairoll

their habits before going to bed with you

(6) under the lotus leaves [dan feng] — @milksnake-tea

you've known dan feng long before he became the high elder of the vidyadhara, before he donned the title of imbibitor lunae and became the legend he is known as now. long ago, back when the two of you were mere children, playing in the waters of the xianzhou luofu.

(7) hot and cold [dan heng] — @eggluverz

in which dan heng runs hot and blasts the air conditioner to keep cool, and you feel like you’re living in the arctic [college roommate au]

(8) how to take care of your lover when they're sick [jing yuan] — @generalsmemories

scenario in which jing yuan’s significant other (a short life species that isn’t a xianzhou native) has gotten sick

(9) showering them in affection [blade, sampo] — @pyroxeene

headcanons of them with a very affectionate s/o

(10) goodbye, halcyon days [jing yuan] — @bladesmuse

as time passes, its branches grow thorns, impaling themselves into your heart. it is most evident as you reflect upon your life, about the three men you loved most who came and went like the sun, moon, and stars. domestic fluff, potential high cloud quintet lore spoilers, angst, hurt/comfort, hurt/no comfort

(11) i didn't know where else to go [blade] — @milksnake-tea

blade x gn!reader, angst

(12) catching smoke [sampo] — @bladesmuse

you are a silvermane guard who has been assigned to catch Sampo. However, every time you get remotely close to catching the shady merchant, he always disappears. cursing, violence, suggestive content

(13) dropped your hand while dancing [gepard] — @particular-one

angst. hurt/no comfort. failed relationships. fluff to angst. passing mention of alcohol. marriage proposals. set after the events of the jarilo-vi trailblaze mission.

(14) a beloved tradition [luka] — @starboyshoyo

a paper marriage in belobog isn’t the only way to show off the love between a couple.

(15) wildest dreams [poly; blade, dan heng] — @bladesmuse

love, lust, and revenge are often inextricably linked, unsurprisingly causing complications in your relationship implied sexual content, combined undertones of fluff and angst

(16) accidentally falling asleep on him [sampo] — @milksnake-tea

you accidentally fall asleep on sampo's shoulder mentions of alcohol

(17) interlocks [nanook, yaoshi, lan, xipe] — @milksnake-tea

braiding their hair

(18) weathering the storm [gepard] — @meaningofaeons

gn!reader, meet cute, reader is implied to be part of an affluent/noble family, soulmate au wherein you have a countdown on your wrist until you meet your soulmate

(19) back home [dan heng] — @meaningofaeons

gn!reader, fluff, reader is part of the nameless but did not join the belobog mission

(20) not quite so slick [sampo] — @meaningofaeons

gn!reader, fluff, silvermane guard!reader, belobog story spoilers, pining

(21) only in the limelight [dan heng] — @meaningofaeons

gn!reader, actor au, angst/no comfort, unrequited love

(22) could you be any more dense? [gepard] — @meaningofaeons

gn!reader, hurt/comfort

(23) starry night bakery [dan heng] — @eggluverz

in which the cute baker down the street catches your eye and you decide to become a regular to keep seeing him [modern au]

(24) everything i need [blade] — @eggluverz

in which you’re feeling down about not seeing your boyfriend in a few months and blade takes time out of his busy tour schedule to surprise you. idol!blade x barista!reader, modern au

(25) lucky day [luka] — @antimatterz

you found the cutest plushie in a claw machine, but can't get a hold of it. fortunately, a handsome stranger shows up to help you out [modern au]

#honkai star rail fluff #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail #hsr x reader #hsr #blade x reader #dan heng x reader #kafka x reader #jing yuan x reader #sampo x reader #gepard x reader #dan feng x reader #nanook x reader #yaoshi x reader #xipe x reader #lan x reader

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idkwhatever580 · 6 months ago

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Agatha All Along Commentary

⚠️WARNING⚠️ AGATHA ALL ALONG 1x6 SPOILERS AHEAD

you’ve been warned

Im late again guys 😣 alright. Here goes nothing. I’m seriously considering taking my anxiety meds before these episodes because atp that might help.

Started watching at 3:00 pm

I stg I stg I stg I stg if this turns out bad I’m gonna throw up. And that says a lot considering I have emetophobia

Ooh fancy he’s Jewish

I’m not familiar with the Jewish religion but seems pretty cool.

Okay so we have established that this is Billy Kaplan which idk how y’all dug so deep to figure it out but I guess it was common knowledge and I do not have common knowledge so it adds up

Ooh now there’s a party funnn lol

I wish I had parents that were proud of me

Lmaooooo “you’re both disgusting” is so fucking real