#grateful for this project and for this film

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Bengiyo's Queer Cinema Syllabus

For those of you who don’t know, I decided to run the gauntlet of @bengiyo’s queer cinema syllabus, which is comprised of 9 units. I have completed four of the units (here is my queer cinema syllabus round up post with all the films I’ve watched and written about so far). It is time for me to make my way through Unit 5- Lesbians, which includes the following films: The Incredibly True Adventure of Two Girls in Love (1995), Bound (1996), Water Lilies (2007), Saving Face (2004), D.E.B.S. (2004), Set It Off (1996), The Handmaiden (2016), Carol (2015), Imagine Me and You (2005), Two of Us (2019), Rafiki (2018), and The Color Purple (1985). 

Today I will be watching:

Rafiki (2018) dir. Wanuri Kahiu

[Run Time: 1 hour 22 minutes, Language: Swahili, English, Available on: Tubi, Google Play, Apply Play, Amazon Prime, YouTube rentals]

Summary: "Good Kenyan girls become good Kenyan wives," but Kena and Ziki long for something more. When love blossoms between them, the two girls will be forced to choose between happiness and safety.

Cast:

Samantha Mugatsia as Kena Mwaura

Sheila Munyiva as Ziki Okemi

Here is what I have learned about Rafiki (main source is Wikipedia):

Rafiki was adapted from author Monica Arac de Nyeko’s short story Jambala Tree. 

Rafiki was the first feature film to feature two women falling in love to come out of Kenya.

Rafiki was the first Kenyan film to be screened at the Cannes Film Festival.

Rafiki was banned in Kenya for promoting homosexuality after the writer and director refused to change the ending. Homosexuality is illegal in Kenya and can result in 14 years imprisonment, but support for LGBTQ rights is growing. 

The writer and director, Wanuri Kahiu, sued the Kenyan government in order to allow the film to be screened in Kenya long enough to meet the eligibility criteria for entry into the Academy Awards.

The ban on the film was lifted for seven days, and every day it played to a sold out audience and brought in millions of shillings (1 million KES is ~7,700 USD)

Rafiki won Best Narrative Feature at the 2019 Seattle Queer Film Festival and a Silver Hugo Award at the Chicago International Film Festival. In total, Rafiki received 17 nominations and 17 awards at various international film festivals. 

This was Samantha Mugatsia’s first role and Samantha won an award for Best Actress from the FESPACO festival.

Wanuri Kahiu is also the cofounder of a media collective called AFROBUBBLEGUM which supports African art “for its own sake.”

Samantha Mugatsia was in another film in 2018 but I do not see additional credits on IMDB, Sheila Munyiva was still getting work as recently as 2023, and Wanuri Kahiu is still working as well. 

So needless to say, this film is incredibly important and successful despite the barriers it found around it. I saw some reviews for this film that mentioned how the narrative was rather simplistic and the characters fairly flat and while I do not entirely disagree, though I also do not consider that to be 100% accurate. I think there are a lot of little moments of dimensionality in some of the characters that make me want to see more of them. Blacksta’s clear romantic interest in Kena and the way in which he is constantly kind and friendly to her to the point where he is the one she goes to for comfort after everything goes to shit only to have his last appearance be him stalking off angry that Kena is “hurting all the people that care about” her when she tells him she loves Ziki. 

Mama Atim being homophobic to the point of a) aiding in the discovery and subsequent facilitation of a gay bashing by the local community and b) not letting Kena touch her when they meet in the hospital where Kena is working as a doctor, only to immediately turn around and tell Kena that Ziki is back in the country, thereby facilitating their reunion and the hopeful ending that got this film banned in the first place. 

Kena’s father being kind and relatively accepting of his daughter’s homosexuality while there are implications around (though never direct references to) the reason he may be divorced, and remarried, with a child on the way. 

Ziki being the one not to care about how much of their intimacy the public may see only to be the one to pull away from Kena after they get caught, because she is experiencing severe consequences for perhaps the first time (that is an assumption on my part, I just know the girl is relatively wealthy). 

All of this to say that often the moments of complexity are small, but they do exist. 

Anyhoo, I think what I am thinking the most about in way of this film is less the plot and more everything else around it. Because this queer cinema syllabus is a warm up to watching BL, the challenges this film had with getting funding (their funding sources all came from outside of Kenya), with distribution, the legal battles Kahiu had to fight to get this film seen in a country she so clearly and deeply loves. Despite that, this film was a success, it broke a number of different barriers, and I will perpetually find it interesting how the prospect of money or positive attention can do so much to get a story out into the world. 

This film promotes illegal behavior, this film was banned from airing in Kenya as a result. Yet, this film still aired in Kenya because someone making a legal ruling gave it a chance to meet eligibility criteria for one of (if not the) most famous awards shows in the world. And at the end of the day it wasn’t even the film that Kenya ended up submitting to the Academy Awards. This film sold out theaters, it raked in cash, it was the first in a number of ways. 

It just makes me think of countries like Korea where, sure, homosexuality is not illegal, but where certain rights are still denied to queer people. Where very few celebrities are openly queer for risk of losing their jobs, yet continues to create BLs that gain international attention. Hell, even Thailand, which has established themselves as a BL soft power, sees many openly queer people struggling to find work in the film industry in spite of how many queer stories are getting pumped out. Also, I will no longer be accepting dead fish kisses from queer shows if the first lesbian love story out of Kenya gave us actual kisses. 

I don’t know exactly where I am going with this, I do not consider the situation of BL and the situation of Rafiki to be identical, just similar. That Rafiki still obtains concessions from a country where being queer can get you incarcerated because it has the chance to be seen in high profile competitions is an interesting, though not entirely surprising, phenomenon. 

About the film itself: I loved the use of color in it, it falls into the same trend of all other lesbian films in that a lot of it is comprised of silent glances between women longing to be together. I think it went for a wider net with a shallower lens rather than a smaller scope and deeper exploration. I felt like the film definitely started slow, but that the relationship between Ziki and Kena developed incredibly fast, to the point where I wondered if they were maybe already together in some fashion before the film even started (not dating, but at least both already having established a mutual interest, etc). I do think Kahiu did a good job of putting enough detail in that it felt like there were other things happening around the main plot to flesh out the world these characters were living in. 

I loved that when we first learn about Ziki’s desires, it is to get out of Kenya, go somewhere people have never met an actual African, and not be like other Kenyan girls. But that when the choice to leave is removed from her, and she is sent to London to escape the societal backlash from being caught being queer, that she does not want to go. I loved that Kena was the one who spent a lot of time hiding her sexuality and her affection for Ziki before they were discovered, only to be the person to try to continue, to be visible, to be with Ziki after they are caught and beaten. 

I thought it was so incredibly brave of Kena to walk up to Ziki’s door, look Ziki’s mother in the eye, and ask to talk to her daughter after everything that had happened the previous night, after being threatened by Ziki’s mother when she first catches them, and insulted by her mother when she comes to pick Ziki up from the police station. 

I am in awe of people who stick to their convictions in cases like this. Wanuri Kaihu, who just wanted to “portray a "normal love story" that acknowledges the heroic challenges of choosing a "difficult love"” and does not see this act as a political one did not back down when faced with the options of removing hope from the ending and letting the film play in her own country or letting these girls meet again, in the sunshine, and have it kept from her own people. It reminds me of Strange Fruit from Unit 4, actually, when Kyle Schickner rejected $6 million in funding for his film because it would not have then been able to make his main character Black and gay. I marvel at how often people do not make those same decisions. 

Favorite Moment

Okay, so. It is a very short and simple moment, only a few seconds long, but from my perspective it is one of the most important scenes in the entire film. Right near the end, after Kena has gone to see Ziki and Ziki has told her she will be sent to London, she goes and sits on a bench by herself. And after a moment someone just quietly takes a seat next to her. It is the other out, gay character who we have seen multiple times in passing. They just look at each other, neither of them says a word. But dear GOD I loved it so much. 

Every time we have seen him before this moment, he is being harassed on the street. He is clearly living an entire life with his own struggle that exists completely outside of Kena and Ziki’s. At one point his face is bandaged, a clear indicator that he had recently been physically assaulted. Every time Kena is present when he is being harassed all she can do is get up silently and walk away. She never stands up for him, she never checks in on him. I actually had a moment of disappointment at one point when Kena storms off and Ziki goes to check on her upset because Kena left her alone. Kena opens the sliding door of the van and I thought for just the briefest of seconds that it might cut to that guy sitting there. 

Instead it is candles, and they have sex, and that is also great and I am glad that scene exists, but I think in the times we are living in now, I was a little sad to see that they were not silently supporting each other. WHICH IS WHY I AM SO GLAD THAT HE DID AT THE END. 

It is so so so so so important to me that this gay man, who has been living his life openly and suffering for it, and knows what it is like just sits down next to Kena to let her know that he is watching, that he is there, and that he understands. And he doesn’t even have to say a fucking word. That is community looking out for each other, and it will be beautiful every time. 

Favorite Quote

“I wish we could go someplace we were real”

Score

8.5/10

It was not my favorite film, but I am so grateful that it exists, and I hope that the queer people living in Kenya who need movies like this one have found a way to watch it, and I think that the fact this film exists at all is amazing. 

Coming up next, the last film in Unit 5: Lesbians- The Color Purple. I actually just got the audiobook from the library so I am looking forward to approaching the film viewing with more of an adaptation lens on it.

[starbuck]

i offhandedly mentioned having seen a movie from the 2000s to my friend and she was genuinely flabbergasted because she thought i “only watched old movies”

[vividgoth]

(Using my most normal voice) The People's Joker is a really good film I think you guys would like it

[todayisafridaynight]

Firstly, thanks so much for your patience with my ramblings haha, it's always an absolute pleasure to read your responses even if I get more unhinged with each one of mine! Of course, I'll continue to do my best with the wiki! (Actually, I think it's because of you that I noticed Daigo's age(s) were a year off haha, so thank you for that as well.)

I think you hit the nail on the head, and I adore how his relationships were executed in Y7 as well! I was initially a little bit apprehensive when trailers for 7 were coming out since RGGJo (and Mine, of course) were my favorite antagonists, and Jo is by far the character who's changed the most between games, but I can safely say both… Joes… are right up there for me.

I think a strong early subversion/conversion/something is that RGGJo really does just go and shoot up a rival office for attacking Arakawa (even though Arakawa was fine?). With Y7Jo, even though he's covering for Masato, the fact that's still the story Ichi gets told and he doesn't question it sort of speaks to Y7Jo having a similarly "protective" streak even if it's not actually what happened in that instance. That's also demonstrated in The Eye Scene as you mention later.

Like, I think that story is fairly clearly something he and Arakawa discussed. Masato got in contact with Jo first, and the mess Ichi tries to clear up when he comes in the morning after is indicative of a very long, stressful conversation between two people. Given Masato absolutely should not be smoking, process of elimination would suggest it's Jo. And it's a story they would've aimed to make as believable as possible, so the fact it is believable (Ichi being a bit gullible notwithstanding) says something to me.

For two characters who hardly even speak to each other onscreen (criminal btw), there's a lot to dig into when it comes to Arakawa and Sawashiro's relationship. That aside, I'm super excited to see you analyse Jo's psyche, and I can't wait to read it! I've been reading Japanese psychology texts myself and noticing a number of concepts that apply to Mine, but may apply to the Arakawas as well. There's a great deal I want to share once I get my thoughts in order.

I totally agree Mine's influence on RGGJo was the strongest of the three! I mean, y'know, that's why I acquired brainworms for RGGJo/Mine specifically. (Still 1000% going to commission you by the way when I've got my refs together + am not in danger of being unable to afford Gaiden and 8 lol). Sort of like with Masato and Daigo, I think characters who are clearly based on each other work quite well together even if it's seen as crack. You can come up with pretty compelling ideas trying to rationalize those similarities from a Watsonian perspective.

The devotion is absolutely the strongest point (having the exact same relationship tag for Arakawa and Daigo respectively + similar wording for it in the 15th anniversary book is a nice touch), but for me it's also what's done with it in terms of presentation. For both Mine and RGGJo you're supposed to believe they're actively working against Daigo and Arakawa's interests for most of the story.

And they probably kind of are, but they're convinced the pros outweigh the cons (as with the resort gambit, which you're remembering correctly!) Though it may not have the same effect nowadays for various reasons (spoilers, plot points becoming predictable on account of other games, etc), the devotion was originally supposed to be a twist.

There are other things, of course; they're both the "treasurers" of their respective organizations, they're both third-in-command of the Tojo and Omi, they're both talented people who possess overwhelming strength and influence and are regarded as geniuses (despite scenes to the contrary). If I wanted to reach design-wise, they've got mirrored ahoges, and Mine's "Legend" costume is probably based on characters like RGGJo and Nishiki. Their first cards were even officially stated to have synergy on account of their very similar skillset.

You end up noticing a lot of things like that if you're clinically insane like I am, but the one thing that's really stuck with me is that the render used for RGGJo's office is specifically a new render the Hakuho Clan office. It's missing the stuff that's supposed to be missing, the stuff Kanda broke, but only that. Mine's art collection, which is very personal to him as is also revealed in RGGO, is preserved in full.

There are a number of newly-rendered locations in RGGO and they could've just done that, or they could've picked any location that's not (imo) one of the most iconic, but I don't know why they didn't. And I don't know whether it was just convenience, whether it's simply meant to be reflective of them having similar tastes without being the same office, or whether it's just honest to God the same office. I mean, it's not like there's any reason to acknowledge it in-game.

But I think, in a weird way, that this is one of the things that carried over to Y7Jo alongside the devotion and The Eye Scene. A lot of people don't notice because there's so much going on in Y7's finale, but the Arakawa Family office the finale takes place in is specifically Y7Jo's office. And if you examine the Hakuho Clan office and the Arakawa Family office as spaces Mine and Y7Jo have created for themselves, there are very few aesthetic similarities other than being pretty tasteful two-storey offices, but both are, in their own ways, designed for companionship.

There is the obvious fully-stocked bar and main seating area in both, but that's sort of whatever, that's entertainment and hospitality. What really catches my eye, at least on the first floor, is that every piece of gym equipment in Mine's office comes in pairs; similarly, there's the pair of armchairs that are just by themselves behind Y7Jo's desk.

The second floor of Mine's office basically consists of only a TV, a table, and a set of couches, but I think the second floor of of 7Jo's is the more telling of the two. You walk upstairs from this very snazzy, richly decorated first floor (btw, like Mine's gym equipment and art, I would like to think the fact it's decked from top to bottom with books isn't just for show) to a second floor that consists of… absolutely nothing.

Nothing except another pair of armchairs, echoing those on the first floor, facing out into this gorgeous (RGGJou would--and has--said "romantic") view of Kamurocho. Maybe it's just to have this dramatic, spacious arena for the very last fight, but I just think that visual is potentially such a strong bit of storytelling via set dressing.

I also think with RGGJo being split into Y7Jo and Masato, some of the Mine influence kind of ended up with Masato too, specifically as Aoki. At least insofar as all the catastrophizing about not truly being cared-for despite evidence to the contrary, and I kind of felt like the moment where he shoots at and narrowly misses Ichi's head, then throws his gun away for a good ol' fistfight was Something.

Completely agree on your assessment of the link to Nishiki as well! There's the surface level design similarities with young RGGJo back when he had long hair and accessorized less, but yeah, no notes. I definitely think Y7Arakawa's line applies perfectly to the dynamic they were going for, too.

I thought the implication was that Masato wouldn't have survived at all in RGGO on account of Arakawa being unable to open the locker, but it's super interesting to think about how things might've turned out otherwise! A Masato who's Just A Guy and treated sort of like RGGO Mitsu's offscreen wife and kid is such a concept.

I really do hope there's a continuation to the story; as it stands, it literally ends with Jo in a coma lol. But I'm grateful RGGO is still accessible and actively updated, in comparison to the previous mobile titles, which also had original stories that are all gone now.

Jo was actually in a very recent event, even. The event spent its whole runtime talking about how cats are sensitive to smell, and evidently, according to the ending, Jo is incredibly sensitive to smell himself. I'm not sure which Jo it was even supposed to be since he was offscreen, but uh, catboy confirmed? Nyawashiro…? It's fun trivia.

Mentioning Arakawa's "sons" line in such close proximity to talking about Tsutsumi reminds me! There was this Y7 interview with all three actors (that has since been privated and that I kick myself every day for archiving) where Nakai and Tsutsumi were talking about how they usually play father and son.

So there's this very, very long history of them co-starring (as I'm sure you're aware lol), like from way back when Tsutsumi's voice was actually higher. And I think the casting choices absolutely are informed by the history and context there, both as individuals and as co-stars, both in terms of filmography as you say and not.

One particular anecdote that just Gets Me is that this was Tsutsumi's first time voice-acting, and he honestly wasn't even sure he'd take the role, but he accepted once he heard Nakai was on board. And he went on to actually enjoy it so much he read the rest of the (gargantuan) script, far beyond his own dialogue, and ended up forgetting the lines to the play he was doing at the time.

He also went on to voice-act a second time in The Deer King, where he plays… another iintimidating man with a violent reputation and a "soft"/deeper side (who is of course a reluctant father), actually. I actually have seen most of his other roles, and Jo really is almost one-of-a-kind. Though it's hard to find any one character he's "like," I can absolutely see what you mean with regard to Oda Nobunaga and Kanda.

I think that actually really works with regard to audiences having an idea of what to expect from his character and to an extent from Y7 if you look Jo as more of a culmination of Tsutsumi's career up to that point. In addition to what you've mentioned already, I also detect a lot of Koda (Good Luck!!) and Ogata (SP)'s themes with regret and making amends and vengeance in particular.

There's a little bit of Appare (Kagerou Touge) and Shibata (Keiho) too, I think, in terms of presenting yourself as worse than you actually are. And I think Tsutsumi's own struggles with mental health lend a lot of gravitas to characters like Ishigami (Suspect X) and Jo, who you can't really argue Isn't Depressed, especially at present.

And of course, y'know, he's played yakuza (to great effect), he's played dads (to great effect; btw, I would say the worst fathers/father figures he's played are probably in Fable II and My Blood & Bones in a Flowing Galaxy, Jo somehow doesn't even compare lol). Also, pretty much every Tsutsumi character either ends up dead or in jail, being a villain in an RGG game notwithstanding. There are often very strong critiques of police and politics present in his work as well, Y7 being no exception.

It's similar with Nakai, maybe to an even greater extent than with Tsutsumi, since Y7 borrows more heavily from his works and his personal life aligns surprisingly well with Arakawa's. They're both actors who are sons of actors, lost their fathers at a young age, were raised by abusive mothers, and ended up with a sort of unlikely father figure in adulthood. So I think it's sweet that Nakai ended up enjoying Arakawa as much as Tsutsumi did Jo. It's kind of funny being more or less typecast as a dad without actually having any children (unlike Tsutsumi), though.

I touched on it a tiny bit before but that's a really insightful take on RGGJo's splintering, as well! And you're most welcome. I've always found it fascinating just how closely their backgrounds tie in to who they end up being. I completely agree having his dad around did a lot for Arakawa in terms of having the confidence to stick to his guns.

But yeah, you know, it's just tragic. I think it's also one of the less talked-about ways abuse can perpetuate itself. Because Jo treating Ichi the way his father may have treated him is sort of the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the topic, but Jo's learned avoidance also goes on to make Arakawa a scapegoat for Aoki's abuse.

I'm always a fan of your takes and insights, so I don't mind the wait: thank you so much for writing as much as you have, it's really wonderful being able to discuss Jo and RGGO v. Y7 as a whole! (I have to be embarrassed about the Daigo's-Age bit though: I'm glad I was able to help point it out, but I remember being so sassy and rude in the post where I mentioned it 😭)

It's great that despite their differences, both Jo's are still incredibly enjoyable; the roles each Jo fulfills, although different, are still executed in ways that keep the character in a close beat with each other, but of course effectively fill out their new purposes in new interesting ways!

As a bit of an aside, I've always been curious and nosy about the full details about New Years Day, 2001 and what happened after that. Anything I can say about the night tiptoes more into theory territory than anything solid, but if we're to go off the notion Masato really did head straight home afterwards, then it is fair to assume Jo had to have met with Arakawa that same night not long after the call in order for Arakawa to be ready to talk to Ichi the same morning (it must have been the biggest shock afterwards for Masato to hear he's gotta run to America if the three of them didn't talk about it together- which I'm assuming is what happened since, as you said, Masato shouldn't be anywhere near cigarettes, and the ash tray is definitely indicative of a stressful discussion). BUT Jo's preexisting devotion to Arakawa (plus the nod to/rework of RGGJo actually attacking a rival gang) nonetheless definitely helped in making their story digestible to the people they had to tell.

The fact Jo and Arakawa interact so little on screen really is unfortunate, even if it's understandable as to why. At the very least, I'm grateful there's so many bits of context clues through the game/s that can at least offer a peak into their dynamic! Segwaying away from that though, I can't lie I was already thinking of some bullet points regarding Jo's brain as I was falling asleep, so it's definitely something I want to put to paper when I get to: I'm glad to hear I have your interest on it when I write it! In that same vein, I'd be more than happy as well to hear about these notes you've seen that can apply not only to Mine, but to the Arakawa family. As you note later on, Mine and Aoki share similar philosophies, so I'd love to see your full take on that if you get to it!

About Mine though, it was really hard for me not to joke about the two being similar whenever the chance arose: I mean, two men who lose their fathers (admittedly, Jo chose to leave his dad but Dad Lost is still a bullet point on the venn diagram... that now I actually feel like taking the time to make later...) turn out to become their respective clan's most trusted asset (and handler of assets) who are volatile when it comes to the ones they care about (I don't have to clarify Mine, but as for Jo, aside from The Eye Scene and even the book wording, he definitely overreacts to Ichi having Masato's money. Of course, part of his anger could be due to his belief in the honor of being a yakuza, but I wouldn't say it's a reach to also assume that the idea of Ichi pestering Masato- if not assuming the worst for whatever reason from Ichiban of all people- might have irked him) and ironically act out in ways that would go against what the ones they care about want (more so strictly about RGGJo, of course)- it's hard not to see the notes borrowed from Mine to make Jo. In that, I do really enjoy their devotions being twists; even if that twist might not work nowadays as efficiently, I'll still enjoy it for what it's able to provide and how it can deepen a character.

To continue on to visual similarities, I actually did notice RGGJo's office being the same as Mine's (I stopped reading for a bit just to make a mini thread about it on my private Twitter)! Whether it was intentional or a simple reuse of assets, it's a great nod to Mine's influence on his character.

As for Y7Jo's office in comparison to Mine's- if I may accidentally go on a bit of an analytical rant- it's a little funny how different they are despite being tangential in wanting a space for companionship (like you mentioned for Jo's case, it might have been for dramatic purposes, but it wouldn't hurt to try and examine the room at face value for a second).

Mine's office is comparatively brighter and more apparently inviting, and it's not just due to the nighttime setting of Jo's office as his office's walls are painted black- but at the same time, the contrast almost feels intentional. Mine's apartment, even if spacious, has the social pieces close to each other, especially in relation to his personal desk. On the flip side, Jo's desk is considerably isolated away from the grand table in the side of the room. In these differences, I think it does lead to a great representation of their relationships with people and what they wanted out of life: with Mine, despite wanting people to be close to him and in his proximity, he's ultimately alone and by himself. On the contrary, Jo appears satisfied with- at least- only having Masato in his life, the second chair undoubtedly being honorary to Arakawa in a similar vein. He isn't too concerned with getting close to anyone else, thus no need for his table set to be so nearby. I could just be talking about nothing though- yet I think these differences is a great way to show how despite inspiration from Mine, they divide off into different characters still (honestly I might steal from this ask and make a separate post about this because now I've gotten myself invested in set design- it can go in the same post as my venn diagram I guess lmao).

Nevertheless, RGGJo and Mine borrowing from each other design wise is also another fun bit- it's as if Yokoyama's grabbing people by the shoulders and practically begging us to realize Jo's influenced by him (don't worry Mr. Yokoyama, I see you). Ergo, Y7Jo and Masato being split from RGGJo is such an interesting take of the two characters: it not only helps highlight Jo's traits it really also heightens Mine's extended influence on Masato (their inability to shoot people standing still is probably going to be a new favorite comparison I hadn't noticed before LMAO).

Moving on though, that lost interview with Nakai and Tsutsumi's going to haunt me now: I'd love to be able to see it, I love actor interviews, especially when the actors featured are already so familiar with each other! It's so sweet how connected the two are- it's what makes it a little more unfortunate that we didn't get to see Jo and Arakawa on screen together more. On that note though, I actually had a similar conclusion that Jo was a solid representation of Tsutsumi's career thus far: his ability to play deep and sentimental characters that have a rough exterior while also possessing some action to the role that he initially sought after in his career really encapsulates his ability as an actor! All in all, I'm glad that Nakai and Tsutsumi were able to have strong connections to their characters in Y7- and I can't really argue against Nakai's dad-typecast: there's just something about him that screams 'father' to me even if, ironically as you said, he isn't a father to any kids.

[flanaganfilm]

Mr. Flanagan, I’d like to ask a question and I deeply hope that it does not offend or upset you. I am strongly considering canceling my Netflix subscription due to their new password sharing policy. However, Midnight Mass is one of my favorite shows of all time and I know it isn’t available on DVD, and I’m also profoundly anticipating your take on my favorite Edgar Allen Poe story. So I wanted to ask your take on people accessing your work through, uh, other means. If it’s something that’s offensive to you or will harm you or the other people who work so hard on these shows, I’ll happily keep my Netflix just so that I can keep supporting your work. I respect you far too much as an artist to do otherwise.

Again, I really hope I’m not upsetting you by asking this question. Thank you for everything, and I hope you’re having a great day!

(NOTE 6/4/2024: I'm editing this entry because, well over a year since it was posted, some journalists dug this up and used it to create click-bait headlines that are misleading, out of context and artificially combative. While I was of course disappointed over the years that Netflix opted not to release my work on physical media, I never experienced any hostility or aggression in those discussions, and I sincerely regret the manner in which this post was used in the press this week.)

Hi there - no offense taken whatsoever, in fact I think this is a very interesting and important question.

So. If you asked me this a few years ago, I would have said "I hate piracy and it is hurting creators, especially in the independent space." I used to get in Facebook arguments with fans early in my career when people would post about seeing my work on torrent sites, especially when that work was readily available for rent and purchase on VOD.

Back in 2014, my movie Before I Wake was pirated and leaked prior to any domestic release, and that was devastating to the project. It actually made it harder to find distribution for the film. By the time we were able to get distribution in the US, the film had already been so exposed online that the best we could hope for was a Netflix release. Netflix stepped in and saved that movie, and for that I will always be grateful to them.

However...

Working in streaming for the past few years has made me reconsider my position on piracy.

In the years I worked at Netflix, I tried very hard to get them to release my work on blu-ray and DVD.

It became clear very fast that their priority was subscriptions, and that they were not particularly interested in physical media releases of their originals, with a few exceptions.

While companies like Netflix pride themselves on being disruptors, and have proven that they can affect great change in the industry, they sometimes fail to see the difference between disruption and damage. So much that they can find themselves, intentionally or not, doing harm to the concept of film preservation.

The danger comes when a title is only available on one platform, and then - for whatever reason - is removed.

We have already seen this happen. And it is only going to happen more and more. Titles exclusively available on streaming services have essentially been erased from the world. If those titles existed on the marketplace on physical media, like HBO's Westworld, the loss is somewhat mitigated (though only somewhat.) But when titles do not exist elsewhere, they are potentially gone forever.

The list of titles that have been removed from streaming services is growing.

I still believe that where we put our dollars matters. Renting or buying a piece of work that you like is essential. It is casting a vote, encouraging studios - who only speak the language of money - to invest more effort into similar work. If we show up to support distinct, unique, exciting work, it encourages them to make more of it. It's as simple as that. If we don't show up, or if they can't hear our voice because we are casing our vote "silently" through torrent sites or other means - it makes it unlikely that they will take a chance to create that kind of work again.

Which is why I typically suggest that if you like a movie you've seen through - uh - other means, throw a few dollars at that title on a legitimate platform. Rent it. Purchase it. Support it.

But if some studios offer no avenue for that kind of support, and can (and will) remove content from their platform forever... frankly, I think that changes the rules.

Netflix will likely never release the work I created for them on physical media, though I'll always hold out hope.

Some of you may say "wait, aren't The Haunting of Hill House and The Haunting of Bly Manor available on blu-ray and DVD?" Yes, they are, because they were co-produced with Paramount, and I'm grateful that Paramount was able to release and protect those titles. (I'm also grateful that those releases include extended cuts, deleted scenes, and commentary tracks. There are a number of fantastic benefits to physical media releases.)

But a lot of the other work I did there are Netflix originals, without any other studio involvement. Those titles - like Midnight Mass, The Midnight Club, and the upcoming Fall of the House of Usher - along with my Netflix exclusive and/or original movies Before I Wake and Gerald's Game - have no such protections. The physical media releases of those titles are entirely at Netflix's discretion, and don't appear to be priority for the studio at this time.

At the moment, Netflix seems content to leave Before I Wake, Gerald's Game, Midnight Mass, and The Midnight Club on the service, where they still draw audiences. I don't think there is a plan to remove any of them anytime soon. But plans change, the industry changes.

The point is things change, and each of those titles - should they be removed from the service for any reason - are not available anywhere else. If that day comes - if Netflix's servers are destroyed, if a meteor hits the building, if they are bought out by a competitor and their library is liquidated - I don't know what the circumstances might be, I just know that if that day comes, some of the work that means the most to me in the world would be entirely erased.

Or, what if we aren't so catastrophic in our thinking? What if it the change isn't so total? What if Netflix simply bumps into an issue with the license they paid for music (like the Neil Diamond songs that play such a crucial role in Midnight Mass), and decide to leave the show up but replace the songs?

This has happened before as well - fans of Northern Exposure can get the show on DVD and blu-ray, but the music they heard when the series aired has been replaced due to the licensing issues. And the replacements - chosen for their low cost, not for creative reasons - are not improvements. What if the shows are just changed, and not by creatives, but by business affairs executives?

All to say that physical media is critically important. Having redundancy in the marketplace is critically important. The more platforms a piece of work is available on, the more likely it is to survive and grow its audience.

As for Netflix, I hope sincerely that their thinking on this issue evolves, and that they value the content they spend so much money creating enough to protect it for posterity. That's up to them, it's their studio, it's their rules. But I like to think they may see that light eventually, and realize that exclusivity in a certain window is very cool... but exclusivity in perpetuity could potentially limit the audience and endanger the work itself.

[sweetascherry1]

I’ll be watching you — Lee Byung-hun

Description: Over the years your fans has slowly watched you and Lee Byung-Hun fall in love. They finally get to see you guys working on a project together for the first time since G.I. JOE. What even better? The promotion for the Netflix hit Squid Games.

Parings: Lee Byung-Hun x Actor F!Reader

Warnings: Some use of Y/N.

2013 G.I. JOE Retaliation Promotion.

The bright lights of the cameras shined on you and your co-star, while the interviewer asked you basic questions.

“So how did the two of you feel with this new casting. Mr Lee who had already played in the original G.I. Joe movie and you who has just now made her debut.”

You look to Byung-hun silently pleading for him to take on the question first. Luckily one look your way and he knew your silent question. Something you had found yourself grateful for.

“The entire cast is full of amazing actors, who are so caring and gentle.” Slowly you felt your nails picking at your cuticles as you thought of your answer. “I had a lot of fun working with these guys — and everyone on the crew makes it so fun.”

You didn’t noticed at first, and honestly neither did the interviewer. He was so slick with the way he slid his hand into yours, stopping your bad habit. Giving your hand a gentle squeeze before you answering as encouragement.

Your voice didn’t waver as you let the warmth of his hand bring you back to earth.

“Working on a project this big, with these actors who I truly admire is something I’m so excited about. This my ‘debut’ and it’s crazy to me that this is all really real.”

Before the interviewer could ask his next question Byung-hun didn’t think before keeping your conversation going. Helping your nerves.

“Going Hollywood is definitely something that is nerve wracking. I remember how crazy the whole thing was for me.”

Your little smile at him made the fans go crazy when the video came out. The hand holding, and little gentle reassurances he would do throughout the entire thing was something fans couldn’t get enough of as they would re-watch it over and over.

—

Photos flashed everywhere, blinding you as you stepped onto the movie premiere. Your dress was gorgeous, just like you. Your hair and makeup styled perfectly, you had honestly felt like a princess.

And in true prince fashion, Byung-hun stepped in when he saw you picking as your nails again.

Smiling at the photographers, he grabbed your hand. Leaning down to whisper in your ear; “your hands are too pretty to mess up. Squeeze mine instead.”

When he straightened his posture, and smiled once again for the cameras, as if nothing happened, you couldn’t help but think maybe that’s when you first felt it.

Devotion, wrapped in admiration.

He had helped you so much with your anxiety, some would say it was inevitable to favor him. “Thank you.” All he did was simply squeeze your hand back.

The blinding lights going crazy over the hand holding. Surely it would cause rumors, but for once you didn’t let it get to your head. Simply holding his hand instead.

—

For Lee Byung-hun, he had only thought of you as a co-worker. While your admiration for the man was so obvious, he couldn’t help but thing it was a silly crush you had because he helped you in tough situations.

He kept it professional, denying at friend invites you sent him, or any drink you’d offer him. Though he changed perspectives after watching you most recent single interview.

“Many of your fans are interested with your relationship with your co-star Lee Byung-hun. Can you elaborate on it?”

Truth was you felt nervous at this question, you didn’t know the right way to answer. Though you knew you wanted to be honest and not let the rumors continue, even if it may disappoint some.

“Ah, well truth be told there is no relationship I can really explain. This movie is the first time I’ve had such a big role.

While filming, it’s true I had quite a few scenes with Storm Shadow, more often than not. While filming those scenes I’d watch the way Lee Byung-hun embodied his character.

It was something I was truly impressed about, and so since our characters were so intwined with each other — we were paired for most promotional videos.”

You took a deep breath before continuing, grateful that the interviewer didn’t interrupt.

“During our first promo video, I was extremely nervous. This is such a big film and I was so in my head — seeing this my co-working held my hand to help with my anxiety.

People who support me loved it. Was all for it, but all it was, was him helping a co-worker out. The same thing happened at the movie premiere.

While on that carpet my heart was pounding and he was there to offer support. That’s all, the rest is rumors. I simple just admire him and someone to learn from.”

You felt a little shaky but ultimately felt better after clearing air. In your eyes Mr Lee Byung-Hun was uncomfortable about the rumors. That’s why he wouldn’t ever socialize much with you, so you had felt proud of yourself for putting an end to it.

On the other hand, him hearing you say you only admire him from a person to learn from had hit him hard. A person he knew actually looked up to him. It was an honor, one he had became proud of.

So when he saw you next, he didn’t beat around the bush.

“I’m a person you admire?” You didn’t have a crush on him like he originally thought, and that’s the moment he wanted you be your friend.

That’s the moment he had devotion towards you. Devotion wrapped in friendship.

—

Your final cast interview. It was a long experience, but an unforgettable one. This whole movie had became something you truly loved, cast included.

“Each of you will read out a card, and say the answer within ten seconds. If you get it, you’ll gain points. Whoever has most wins.”

A simple game to finish it off. Easy peasy.

To the right of you, Dwayne went first. “In ten words, explain the film.” He read off before hurrying to put ten words out.

“Cobra.” One finger up. “Escapes.” Another. “While. Joes. That. Are. Left. Fight. Back.” One last word, but just before he could think of it — getting stuck the timer went off.

The whole crew laughed at his disappointment, and then next was your turn.

“I’m nervous.” You gave one deep breath before reading out your card. “Why should you watch the new movie.”

One. Two. “Have you seen this cast?” Five. Six. “Just look at Dwayne’s muscles.” Everyone laughed.

Dwayne got a little red, causing a little teasing. It was a good moment, a happy moment. So why was Byung-hun laughing?

In fact as it was a viral clip, not you teasing Dwayne, no it was Lee Byung-hun reaction that was viral.

“Have you seen this cast?” Byung-hun kept his entire focus on you, not even looking away once when you spoke. In fact throught most of the interview, he barely paid anyone else much attention. “Just look at Dwayne’s muscles.”

A bitter feeling bubbler under his skin, as he felt his blood hot. His jaw visibly clenched, as he glared at the man in question. Before looking you up as down, his fist the next to clench. Not a single laugh leaving his lips let alone a smile.

It went very viral, and Lee Byung-hun didn’t even try to deny what they were saying. Jealousy, yes. Though it wasn’t because he was romantically interested. He just felt a sense of belonging over you. Not in a toxic way, or at least not in his eyes.

Truth be told you only mentioned to him simply because you didn’t want him to be mad at you.

“What that video going around about?” A simple question. He was in your living room, laying down on your lap, eyes closed while you mindlessly scrolled through instagram.

Instantly he knew what you were talking about and once again he didn’t defend himself.

“I didn’t like how you mentioned him.”

“His muscles.”

A scoff slipped past his lips, “I have those too, you know?” He sat up, and didn’t hesitate to lift his shirt up to show you. His abs briefly capturing your full attention.

“Yea but there’s already enough rumors about us.” That was true, and he knew that but he just didn’t care.

“Let them talk.” He brushed a hair out your face, “we’re friends, and friends go over co-workers.”

Friends, neither of you doubted the word. But we’re friends so devoted to one another? So admirable to the other? So protective? Yet the word was never doubted.

—

Over the years

Over the years, neither of you worked on a project again. That didn’t matter, your friendship was still so ever strong.

Often at each other’s house, getting food, attending events. All your fans had was an occasional post about the other.

Once you posted putting a pretty pink bow in his hair, his face was in complete annoyance.

“Byung-hun. Look at me!” He knew you had your phone recording and he debated on weather or not to snatch before looking at you. Ultimately he settled for a glare.

“My pretty princess.” Oh he just might kill you. His head tilted as suddenly you felt a little hotter as he look up at you. Like he was going to devour you alive. “Princess? I’m the one that pampers you—“ before he could continue the video went black.

It was a fond memory of your and you had posted it. As expected whenever a post involving the other popped up it blew up.

Though his comment made even more chaos. As he so much loves to do. No joke, before he made the comment he laid on your bedroom floor breaking silence as he watched the video.

“How can I make this more chaotic.” You couldn’t help but sigh at him.

I dream so often of shutting your mouth. Any ideas?

It went crazy. Then again you’ve done that before, comment a wild thing on his post.

For instance, he posted a picture of himself sweating. Chain dangling (one you got him) and a devilish smile.

Have my kids, I’ll never talk back.

Yea?

You had purposely also sent him a private audio message, cat calling him.

The uproar your fans had, oh well let’s just say many articles broke out.

It was honestly fun, watching your fans want something so bad and just dangle it. Made the two of you feel euphoric on the power.

Yet that wasn’t the only thing you two had found euphoric.

Eventually at one point the two of decided to drink and drink. None of you think before you both crossed a line that was already so faded.

You kissed, and then kissed. Until you ending up the next morning both naked in bed.

The two of you decided for the best that none of it ever happen again, but even though you didn’t — it doesn’t mean you two forgot. In fact neither of you can look at wine the same.

Though, y’all’s restraint fell apart eventually as the two of you kept ending up in each other’s bed.

Most people wouldn’t be shocked if they knew, but oh the two of you were dumbfounded on why you guys could resist each other.

So began your friends with benefits era. A classic.

As that era ended, you both realized you had wanted more, so eventually causal dating was the next step for the two of you. In private of course.

—

Promotion of squid games

You and Byung-Hun both sat in front of cameras. Each looking at fan made videos. It was nice to see such creativity, or that what you thought going into this.

As the first video played, with weird dancing and animation, you couldn’t understand how Byung-Hun could keep a straight face.

“That was for sure… interesting.” The side eye you gave him, and then the camera was definitely clipped.

“I feel wrong.” Is all you had simply said. Which was true. “Definitely love the work put into this, and I think it’s cool how people made this. Just… not my cup of tea.”

A few more weird videos broke out, and some nice one with people singing the theme song, and etc.

The next fan video was an edit of the two of you. Simply just watching each other as the lyrics in the video played. Romantics clearly intended.

It didn’t surprise the two of you. Byung-hun turned his head to you, laughing a little.

“You know, a lot of our fans watched this show for us being in a film together. Yet our characters actually despise the other.” Your smile felt contagious to him as you laughed back.

“Are we the problem?”

The man simply nodded his head back before the two of you watched the next video.

—

Instagram

Liked by byunghun0712 and 345k others

yourusername Coming soon! ⏰

Username1 Ah! So exciting

Yourbestfrienduser MOMMY?!

byunghun0712 is this how I find out?

Liked by Yourbestfrienduser

Username2 OMFG 😭

Username3 so proud to Stan her

Liked by Yourusername and 455k others

byunghun0712 how come you never buy? @ yourusername

Yourusername cause I’m spoiled.

Liked by creator

Username1 see how me and him both eat McDonald’s? Meant to be trust

Yourusername honestly you’re so real for that.

Username2 AH, I love you in squid games

Username3 Frontman ❎ Hotman ✅

—

Lie detector interview.

“We are going to give you a set of questions, please answer yes or no.”

Nerves picked at your skin as your watch Byung-hun opposite from you.

They would start with true or false trivia, before going into more detail questions. He gave you a reassuring smile before reading out the first words.

“Is your name really Y/N?” Easy. “Yes.” The detector person gave a thumbs up and he went onto the next question.

“Is it true that you play in squid games season 2?” Another easy one. “Yes.” One more true or false. “Is it true you are very nervous?” The look you gave him was the most ‘duh’ bratty attitude ever.

“Yes.”

“Okay, now onto the actual questions.” He looked down at his card, almost laughing before reading it out to you.

“Have you ever injured yourself on the set of squid games?” You knew exactly what he was thinking about, and it took you a moment not to laugh as well.

“During one of my earlier scenes, I was drinking wine, that I thought was grape juice.” Byung-hun placed a card over his growing smile as you continued. “Well no one actually thought I was drinking actual wine. Nor did I. So I ended up getting a little flushed and tripped off my chair spraining my ankle.”

Amusement wouldn’t even began the joy your co-star had as he remembered the day he carried you back to your trailer.

“Did you have to learn Korean for this film.”

You tilted your head as you thought about it. “I didn’t learn it for this film, but I had learned it a while ago to surprise you because I felt bad you had to translate your thoughts before saying them.”

Lee Byung-hun remembers the first time you spoke to him in Korean. In fact he thinks that was the moment he fell in love with you.

You two had become the definition of she fell first but he fell harder.

You use to mess up so much, and he always loved it. Now you’re pretty fluent but he loves the moments where you ask him for help.

“Tell me more about your character.”

“I play a foreign player, that is intended to remind Gi-Hun about Ali. When I get into the games lots of drama, funny and stressful things begins to happen. I don’t wanna spoil it.”

“Well you passed!” As your began to unhook yourself from the machine, “not a single lie.”

“Not like I could.” You would rather be seen as the honest person you were anyways.

You had asked your co star similar questions but one was a heavily asked fan question.

“What’s your relationship with Co-Star Y/N L/N.” Even you began to feel nervous. Dating. You two were dating and had went a very long time keeping your confirmed relationship private.

But, as you both looked at each other you both knew there wasn’t a point in keeping things a secret.

“Dating.”

Let’s just say the PR for squid game was better than gold.

A/N: I have so many WIP, but no motivation to finish them 😭. So this is my very half attempt to get out of this writing slump! Otherwise I might go insane.

[stevieschrodinger]

I don't know, ficlet AU sort of thing.

Alpha Steve has a YouTube channel that, kind of, started by accident. Steve is not the most confident reader, like, at all. The words get kind of muddled and he got into a habit of just sort of trying to rush it, figuring he was going to mess it up anyway, so get it over with, right? And then he just sort of stops reading, even though he enjoyed it, because he couldn't get his brain to slow down and the muddling got worse and...yeah.

So one day, his platonic soul mate bestie suggests he read out loud. To someone. If he reads every word out one at a time, knowing it has to be clear enough for the other person to follow, that'll slow him down.

So, he tries it, but only for Robin. And it sort of works, kind of, and then she hits on him using something so he can only see the line he's reading, like a bit of card with a letterbox cut in it, and...Steve is on fire.

The words don't get muddled up so much, and his reading is slow and even, and he needs to read to someone, and Robin can't always be there. It becomes his own pet project, he reads out little bits of books he likes, parts of articles he has enjoyed, poems, whatever, and starts his own little you tube that has like, five followers, and they're all people he knows.

And then suddenly, almost overnight, Steve finds himself with four thousand followers. A very large portion of them are very clearly Omega, from the comments, and Steve suddenly finds himself with a lot of fans who are using his videos for white noise. He's literally reading thousands of Omegas off to sleep.

Which is...nice. Steve likes it. The hits and followers on his videos seem to settle down after a couple of weeks, and then, after having so many comments about how settling Steve's voice is, how the Alpha is relaxing and safe. Steve thinks fuck it.

As a test, he makes a ten minute video directly for that audience. He builds a nest, films it POV. He films the view of someone walking through the bedroom door, of what they would see as they climb into the nest, then resting the camera on his own chest.

Then he starts talking. Tells the omega how perfect they are, how much he cares for them, wants to protect, keep safe. How soft they are as he pets them, how warm and cosy they are in their nest. How snuggles with the omega are Steve's favourite thing.

He deliberately keeps everything as vague and gender neutral as he can. The video fucking explodes. Goes viral. Millions of hits, thousands and thousands of followers. Robin and the kids think it's hilarious, and encourage him to keep going, claiming he's doing a public service.

Hundreds of copycats spring up, but no one pulls it off quite like Steve.

He knows there are Omega out there getting off to his videos, despite there being absolutely nothing sexual about them, but Steve figures, whatever makes people happy.

He gets so many positive comments, omega telling him how much comfort he brings them. He has some regular commenters that he gets to know, too, which is nice. Sometimes he even takes requests, small things, the colour of his shirt, the time of day he shoots his videos, certain words and phrases.

One supportive commenter always stands out though : EdDio86. Steve's pretty sure he's male omega, and he's always so grateful when Steve posts a new video. The guy clearly has a lot of trouble sleeping, and apparently Steve really helps. They have a little back and forth in the comments, learning little bits about one another. Steve likes this omega.

Steve also gets the impression the omega is sorely lacking any comfort in his life. Considering the length of his comments, the guy never asks for anything.

Until he does.

At the end of a comment, always ever so politely thanking Steve, EdDio86 admits he's 'in a bit of a pickle' and could Steve, please, do a video where 'the omega' is with pup? Could Steve tell the omega that the pup is fine, and healthy, and that the omega is doing good and the pup is okay and everything will be okay...but cool if not. Bit of a weird request, I know, sorry to be a bother.

And Steve suddenly doesn't give a shit about the consequences of just,,,dropping his personal email out into the world like that, because he wants to tell this guy these things personally.

[yummymitzy]

Hii, I have a request. Could you do natasha romanoff? And about the song, i'd want "need to know" by Doja Cat. Pleasee

Need to Know

Pairings- Bodyguard! Natasha R. x Singer! Reader

WC: ~1500

Synopsis: Releasing a glimpse of your new music video caused an uproar, but what if it doesn’t go in the way you expect it?

A/n : i’m skimming through my rq’s right now. Studies have been a pain in the ass.😭 I have another one on the way!! This one has way more plot than lyrics🤦‍♀️

ᨖᨖೱᨖ⧗ᨖⴵᨖ🕷️ᨖⴵᨖ⧗ᨖೱᨖᨖ

Being in the spotlight seemed to be everybody’s dream. This wasn’t always your dream though. You imagined your future to be anything but that, hell you even assumed you’d be in the military.

You didn’t dislike being in the spotlight though, knowing the positive effect you have on a crowd with an appearance. But the resulting effect wasn’t always positive; stalkers and overly touchy fans were the main thing that kept you alert in public.

You didn’t have much to worry about once your manager introduced you to a bodyguard as beautiful as can be. Natasha Romanoff.

Getting to know Natasha was difficult, she never left time for pleasantries, always focusing on her main tasks. You couldn’t help but try to get closer to her, at the very least to be friends.

It took you at least a month to get a glimpse of her, not her work personality, just her carefree.

Two months after that, you felt weirdly attracted to the redhead. She was like a a siren, an insisting one, one you couldn’t get out of your mind no matter how hard you tried.

You felt safe with Natasha, going past professional boundaries, you just felt safe in general around her.

That all takes you here today, in a studio found in New York. You were accompanied by your friend, with the idea to collaborate together for a music video to a recent song you had released, Need to Know.

Originally, you weren’t planning to go all out for the video, until your friend proposed an idea.

Adjusting your fitted dress, you took one more glance at yourself. You wore an off the shoulder dress, the hem falling dangerously high on your thighs. You had assumed it was perfect for the music video.

Walking out of your dressing room, you were quick to spot your friend, Bucky. The same person that you were collaborating with.

Bucky was your closest guy friend, you cherished your friendship with him, grateful it hadn’t turned out to be any more. Although that didn’t stop fans from assuming the both of you were together.

He was clad in a dark suit, neatly worn, without a wrinkle in sight. Bucky’s eyes brightened at the sight of you, his smile brightening as he rushed over to you.

“You look beautiful, Y/n.” He winked, as his gaze playfully trailed up and down your figure.

“You clean up very well too, Buck.” You smiled, hoping you wouldn’t regret having chosen him as your co-partner in this project, silently wishing you had the choice to choose Natasha.

Your eyes slowly drifted off towards the redheaded woman in question as you pictured her in a beautifully tailored suit; black with maroon accents that would complement her hair and fiery nature. She would look flawless as she always does, but you knew she wasn’t present to be your co-star, only bodyguard.

“Let’s head off?” You questioned, your head tilting towards the set of where your music video would be filmed.

“Of course. After you.” Bucky angled his body, letting you pass through the doorway and leading the both of you towards the set.

Unsuspecting of the glare that a certain redhead sent towards the back of Bucky’s head, or the anguish that flashes through her eyes as she trailed behind you.

-

The lyrics of your song echoed throughout the set as you and Bucky rewatched the complete take.

You couldn’t help but still think of Natasha though. Imagining how she would caress you in a gentle manner despite her calloused hands, how the moment would feel more intimate.

Without a thought, your eyes found Natasha’s figure from across the room. The set lights casted upon her perfectly, as if she had just came out of a movie.

Her chiseled jawline, the way her red hair glistened in the light with shades of red, her eyes that sparkled every time the light met with them.

Shaking your head, you sighed, the exhaustion of the day wearing over you.

Turning on your phone, you had instantly been met with photos of you and Bucky. Remembering that you had taken a few funny photos with Bucky during the filming.

The thought of these photos made you think that they were great for promoting the upcoming video.

It hadn’t taken long for you to tap onto your Instagram profile, posting the photos, accompanied by a caption. ��Can never get tired of shooting with this bum.”

Feeling proud of the post, you turned your attention away from your phone, setting it down.

Your gaze traveling towards the person that occupied your thoughts, her eyes were surveying the room with a hardened gaze. It was usual for Natasha’s features to be stern, but this time it seemed more… upset?

-

You were currently sat in front of your vanity that the hotel you were staying at provided, Natasha was stood guard at the door per your request.

The buzzing of your phone was consistent as you fixed up the makeup you previously wore.

Stealing a glance towards Natasha, you reached a hand towards your phone, skimming through the notifications.

“you and bucky are so cutee!! need more of you two!”

“i lowkey wish i was bucky😔”

“Yall looking real cute!! Wish you guys were together!💝”

Wow. You had expected comments on the photos, but these were past an extent. Did you two really look like a couple? You clearly made it clear before that you guys were close friends.

In the midst of a sigh, an idea formed in your head. Would starting a live clear the air? But how would you go about this?

The moment of hesitation made you pause in your tracks, the what if’s drifting through your head at 100 miles per hour.

Noticing the moment of pure silence, Natasha spoke up. “Are you feeling well? We don’t have to go to the interviews if you aren’t, I’ll call your assistant to postpone them.”

Snapping out of your thoughts, you were quick to rush out an answer. “I’m okay, Natasha.”

“Are you sure? The interviewers won’t be mad about postponing.”

“I promise you, I’m okay. I just got a little stuck in my thoughts. Thank you though, Natasha.”

A flicker of confusion flashed in Natasha’s green orbs, her eyebrow twitching up as she silently waited for you to continue.

You sighed before adding on, your eyes meeting hers as you asked, “How do you feel about going on a live with me?”

-

The viewer count to your live was quick to multiply, the chat flooding with comments about your previous post with Bucky. Your song was softly playing in the backround as you stared at the camera with a soft smile.

You peered at some comments pointing out Natasha’s appearance before you stole a glance at her in the corner of your eye.

You did your best with answering questions as they flew past the chat, avoiding certain ones commenting about you and Bucky’s relationship with a quick “Me and Bucky are just co-workers, we have nothing going on.”

But you certainly got a little sick of seeing the comments flooding in with more comments about the pictures. You appreciated Natasha’s gesture for swiftly changing the topic your music, but it hadn’t done much.

You’re exciting, boy, come find me

Your eyes told me “Girl, come ride me”

Whispering the lyrics, you turned to Natasha, a glimpse of uncertainty with a hint of something else lingered in your eyes.

“Are you okay with this?” You whispered, out of earshot from your phone, as your face inched closer to hers. You felt her hot breath mixing with yours as you looked in her eyes for a confirmation.

It hadn’t took long for it to click for Natasha, her facial features softening as she whispered out the word you wanted to hear the most. “Yes.”

The moment your lips touched, it felt like fireworks, her lips were softer than you imagined as her breath mingled with yours.

Fuck that feeling both of us fighting

Could he try me? (Yeah) most likely

Reaching a hand up towards your neck, you deepened the kiss, relishing the feeling of her lips on yours. Her lips were hot on yours, slightly chapped but you didn’t mind one bit.

Unbeknownst to the both of you, the comments were flooding with various reactions from your crowd. Some of disappointment, some of shock, the rest of excitement.

Tryna see if you could handle this ass

Prolly give his ass a panic attack

Sorry if I gave a random erection

Prolly thinkin' I'm a telekinetic

Oh, wait, you a fan of the magic?

Pulling apart from her for air, you felt like you were on cloud nine. The both of you remained in a close distance, resting your foreheads on eachother.

You noticed the emotions swirling within Natasha’s eyes, her thoughts put to a pause while she stared longingly at you.

The live was long forgotten as you and Natasha shared unsaid words through the connection you two have made. Words that the both of you have been wishing to say, to preach, but scared of the what if’s.

This moment was one you knew that you would cherish forevermore, knowing you had found your equal, someone you could call your lover.

[jeongsoob]

pleasant conversations ᯓ 𝚕𝚌

ʚɞ pairing: lee (dino) chan x fem!reader || ʚɞ word count: 0.2k || ʚɞ genre: fluff || ʚɞ tags: (newly) established relationship au, "meet the parents" kinda date, chan is adorable albiet a bit insecure || ʚɞ synopsis: "I think my family really liked you. Maybe more than they like me." || ⟢ AUTHOR'S NOTE: For my darling @hursheys!

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ WANT A DRABBLE DIARY ENTRY? REQUEST ONE.ᐟ

Chan is grateful your great conversational skills make up for his terrible ones. Being the youngest in his friend group and family, someone else always had something more engaging, more important, to say. Why bother trying?

But then you came into the picture, and while you can work the room, you always love hearing what Chan thinks and the way his mind works.

Even at dinner, you push Chan to talk about his newest projects at work with his parents when there’s gaps between them asking what you do for a living and what you see in their son.

He’s not used to commanding the table, but it’s easy when he has support to do so.

On the walk back up to your apartment, Chan makes it known how well meeting his family for the first time went. “I think my family really liked you. Maybe more than they like me.”

You smack him in the arm, your mouth going agape. “Don’t say that! They love you.”

He shrugs and holds onto your hand tighter. “I know, it’s just hard to imagine they actually care about anything I say.”

You stop him in front of your door and kiss him hard on the mouth, holding him close to you as you move together. He starts rigid but eventually gives in. “If nobody in the world cared what you had to say, then they’ll have to file a missing persons report on me.”

Chan laughs and pokes your cheek. “You’re ridiculous.”

You wink and go to unlock your door. “But you love it.”

And Chan thinks that maybe, after tonight, he really does.

@yvnempire @mini-mews @jayparked @heesuncore @yoursjaeyun @sungbeams @loserlvrss @pars-ley @lovetaroandtaemin @hursheys

𝐧𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 ౨ৎ˚₊

@kstrucknet @k-films @kvanity-main @lapydiaries @moadiarynet @sweetvenomnet @onedoornet @sayxonet @violetanet @svthub @whipped-kpop-creators

[twig-tea]

It is so late in the evening but I just have to add a bit of context for what the culture was like when this film came out. As a kid I was exposed to these posters and also PSA commercials about HIV/AIDS:

This ad exemplifies the level of awareness people had in the late 80s and early 90s; the government paid to educate the public on transmission, of course, but also what doesn't cause transmission, because people were panicked. Denzel Washington's character was not just rampantly homophobic, he was the representation of the attitudes of the majority of people in North America at the time. AZT had only been in Canada for 3 years and the US for 6 when Philadelphia came out. People didn't really have a sense that HIV was livable yet; and the media about AIDS before it had been about straight people even though it was known as the "gay disease" because those were the only people who were thought to invoke sympathy. There were dedicated hotlines set up for people to ask questions because so many people still knew so little about it. Almost everyone in certain social circles knew someone who had died, but people weren't talking about it due to shame. This is the context in which Philadelphia hired HIV patients from a local AIDS clinic as extras for the film, and got two of the most beloved actors of the time to star. This movie set out to change the context in which it was created and I respect the hell out of it for that. I remember seeing these ads (and similar ones about sharing a toilet seat) on the same channel that aired Philadelphia when it made its way from theatres to TV.

All that is to say, this film is very important to me, thank you for doing such a great job discussing it, and to @bengiyo for including it on the syllabus.

Bengiyo's Queer Cinema Syllabus

I am currently working my way through Unit 4: Heartbreak Alley, the totally light-hearted, definitely not agonizing section of @bengiyo's queer cinema syllabus where I get to watch countless acts of violence be committed against queer people. Thank fuck I have Lesbians waiting for me at the end of this unit. The films in Unit 4 are: Bent (1997), Strange Fruit (2004),Boys Don’t Cry (1999), Brokeback Mountain (2005), Parting Glances (1986), Philadelphia (1993), The Living End (1992), Holding the Man (2015), Jeffery (1995), and Boys on the Side (1995).

Today i will be talking about

Philadelphia (1993) dir. Jonathan Demme 

[Run Time: 2:05, Available on: YouTube for rent, Google Play, Amazon, Lang: English]

Summary: When a man with HIV is fired by his law firm because of his condition, he hires a homophobic small time lawyer as the only willing advocate for a wrongful dismissal suit.

Cast: * Tom Hanks as Andrew Beckett * Denzel Washington as Joe Miller * Antonio Banderas as Miguel

___

To steal a comment from @lurkingshan, it has been awhile since I’ve watched a good legal thriller. Philadelphia is brilliant, and I don’t just mean in the general sense, I mean it is smart. It is smart in how it sets itself up. We start with Andy and Joe on opposites sides of a court room, we can see the rapport between them, but we set them up on opposite sides from the beginning. We move from there to Andy at the hospital, receiving his transfusions, looking across the way to a man whose karposi’s sarcoma has advanced to the end stages a look to where Andy himself will end in this film. And then to Andy’s law office where there is physical touch, after physical touch, after physical touch. Some that happen so quickly, others that linger, that the camera focuses in on, and I only wish that we’d seen Andy the day after that meeting, because I would be curious to see if and how the physical touches changed with people in the office. 

But that’s not what we get, and we don’t really need it because what is truly important is that Andy is sicker than he originally let on. The point is that the law firm set Andy up while he was away. The point is that at so many stages in this film I was mad. And that was how I was supposed to be. I was mad at all the homophobic pieces of shit that were sitting there making excuses, that based a significant portion of their legal argument about not discriminating against Andy because he was gay with HIV, by trying to discredit Andy’s character because he was gay. [and of course the law office used a woman as their representation and had a Black man at their table as well…you know they were really trying to look good]

gif by @rancidtofu

You might know by now that I love a complicated relationship, so I was really thrilled that Joe eventually decided to represent Andy. Because Joe was homophobic as fuck, and he very much did not want to take the case. But again this film is smart, we never have to hear from Joe’s mouth or anyone’s for that matter that Joe decided to work with Andy after seeing how he was being treated by the librarian, but we know there’s no way it isn’t informed by experiences of racism in Black communities. The way Joe was stared at by a library worker when he was sitting at his table, the way Andy was stared at by a library worker when he was sitting at his table. The way Andy was being suggestively ushered away to somewhere out of view to other library patrons. 

I loved that Joe was viciously homophobic because it demonstrates so well the boundary between work and personal life. Joe is able to do his job and do it well, and eventually after months of working with Andy, is able to come around, even touching Andy’s face which we know even has a lesion on it, by the end of the film. That is huge from someone that started the film literally running immediately to the doctor to make sure he didn’t have AIDS from shaking Andy’s hand. From a modern lens I can totally see how that would probably feel stereotypical or derivative or something like that but I think it is important to keep in mind that this film was one of the first Hollywood movies to feature HIV/AIDS and also portray gay people in a positive light. I haven’t actually been adding the for/by/about designations to the Heartbreak Alley films because something about doing that didn’t really sit right to me when we’re discussing the violence to and death of queer people. But this film definitely was not made for queer people, and Tom Hanks acknowledges that he was cast in the role for his “non-intimidating screen persona” and that “one of the reasons people weren’t afraid of this movie was because I was playing a gay man.” 

The casting here was strategic to further assist audiences in sympathizing with a gay, HIV positive character. 

gif by @rancidtofu

I really love all the little moments of solidarity, the smiles between the Black secretary at the law office and Joe because They Know™ about experiences of discrimination in the workplace. The solidarity between the secretary with AIDS and Andy. I loved that a Black woman was teaching Andy how to apply make up to cover his lesions. I loved that Andy’s entire family knew that he was gay, knew he had AIDS, knew he had a partner and that they all loved and accepted him, and that he had so many people in his life that truly, well, and deeply cared for him. 

And I love how that is used to deliver maximum emotional impact, at least to me, in one single stupid opera line. 

I genuinely enjoyed essentially sitting in a court room for two hours watching Joe strategize, and execute his traps for the jury to win them over. I love how you know that they have won the second that a juror repeats verbatim a line Joe had said repeatedly throughout the trial. I am grateful the film was kind enough to let Andy be awake and alert enough to know that they had won. That his one of his last acts on earth was getting to engage with the part of law he loved most: “that every once in awhile, not often, but occasionally, you get to play a part in justice being done” Justice was done here, Joe and Andy both played a role in what could potentially become another precedented case in the roster to build towards a stronger future for gay people in the workplace. I think that (though likely coupled with how much his body was beginning to fail) is what finally made him ready to go. Because for so much of this film he would hesitate when it came to death. 

gif by @rancidtofu

He froze over the line “the actual physical [death]” when quoting the line about AIDS causing a social death. He talked about planning his memorial to try to get a reaction out of Miguel, and when Miguel gave him a response he very much did not want to hear “maybe you should” he took Miguel to a party, he talked about opera instead of practicing his Q&A. 

I am grateful the film ends at his memorial, not just for the memories, though I am especially glad it ends on a video of Andy as a child (to appeal to the ‘he was somebody’s kid type of crowd) but that the memorial was not entirely gloomy. There was life, there was conversation, there were smiles, it made things feel more real. Just like all “see you tomorrow” lies everyone knew they were telling themselves felt real. 

Tom Hanks and Denzel Washington are such powerhouses of actors and I am so so grateful that they did this project together. 

Favorite Scene 

(I am acknowledging that these gifs by @antoniosbanderas have nothing to do with my listed favorite scene, but I just need you all to know that the scene of these two laying in bed was cut from the final edit of the film, so I didn't actually get to watch it, so now you know it exists if you didn't already)

My favorite scene is when the law firm is questioning Melissa Benedict, a secretary that used to work with one of the lawyers in his previous firm. Melissa was diagnosed with AIDS after a blood transfusion, and she was put on the stand to prove one of the lawyers knew what AIDS lesions looked like and therefore was able to identify that Andy had HIV a week before he was fired. 

I was ready to reach through my screen to smack a bitch when the law firm’s representation started trying to make a moral argument, that Melissa’s AIDS was acceptable AIDS to have in an office because she involuntarily contracted the disease through a medical procedure, whereas Andy had had gay sex and therefore voluntarily risked acquiring HIV. And you can just see Melissa looking over at Andy so often when the law firm is trying to make this argument, and trying to get Melissa to answer questions in a way that would make her seem like she is actually of the law firm’s opinion. 

And she doesn’t let them do that to Andy. Instead she looks right at him and she qualifies her response saying: “But I don’t consider myself any different from anyone else with this disease. I’m not guilty, I’m not innocent, I’m just trying to survive” and it is just a beautiful moment for me. Especially because this film is trying to portray queer people in a positive light, having a straight, white woman with a disease she had no way of preventing say that she was just like anyone else with AIDS is hugely important to driving that message home. 

Favorite Quote 

gif by @fran-kubelik

I am so sorry in advance for how long this quote is, and that 90% of it is technically just Andy translating an opera but: 

“‘Look the place that cradled me is burning.’ Do you hear the heartache in her voice? Can you feel it Joe? Now in come the strings and it changes everything. It’s like the music, it fills with a hope. And that’ll change again. Listen. Listen. “I bring sorrow to those who love me” oh oh that single cello. “It was during this sorrow that love came to me.” (sobbing) “A voice filled with harmony. It said, live still. I am life. Heaven is in your eyes. It’s everything around you. It’s the blood and the mud. I am divine! I am oblivion. I am the god that comes down from the heavens to the earth and makes of the earth a heaven. I am love. I am love.” 

The level of emotion, the implication behind each and every line that he translates, the way that those lines spoke to me as a queer person. “Look the place that cradled me is burning” this body, his body is failing; this life, his life is coming to an end. “I bring sorrow to those who love me” we see that with Andy’s mom, with his entire family for that matter, we see how loved he was and know that his death is going to be a devastating blow for a lot of people. “It was during sorrow love came to me” Miguel is there for all of it, through all of it. When he collapses in court, his family is the first to get to him, to try to help him. When he’s in the hospital the entire hallway is flooded with people that love him. Andy breaks at this point in his monologue, choking out the line “A voice filled with harmony. It said, live still. I am life. Heaven is in your eyes. It’s everything around you. It’s the blood and the mud.” I do not think Andy was ready to go until the very end when he finally said he was. Live still. Andy wants to live still. I am life. Heaven is in your eyes. It’s everything around you. It’s the blood and the mud. He will see Heaven soon, he is looking at the world through the lens of a dying man. “I am the god that comes down from the heavens to the earth and makes of the earth a heaven” We have one life to live, we should use it well, Andy has so much love in his life, that’s truly such a heavenly thing to have. He is seeking justice, in such a way that others might be protected the way he wasn’t. “I am love. I am love.” 

I just. 

I don’t know y’all I just really liked this film. 

Score 

9.5/10

I’m salty that Denzel wasn’t nominated for an Oscar, though I am wholly unsurprised, and I am glad Tom Hanks won and that his speech included praise of Denzel. 

““And an actor who put his film image at risk and shown because of his integrity, Mr. Denzel Washington who I very much share this with”

Lovely film, highly recommend.  Now on to The Living End

[mylifestylearedilfs]

⇢ ˗ˏˋ joost klein x singer!reader ࿐ྂ

ੈ✩‧₊˚ ESPRESSO : fluff ; imagine ; all is fictional ; joost is such a babygirl here ; english is not my first language

, , ,

_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐ WHEN JURY ANNOUNCED YOU as a representation of your country, you couldn’t be happier. since your childhood, you were a fan of eurovision, only because you loved the idea that every country could show off their culture, beautiful language etc. you weren’t the most extrovert, so the thought of being filmed almost every second, having to take part in those interviews— which most of the time wasn’t even that necessary — stressed you out.

but someone decided to send you a literal angels, every contestant were just amazing, helping you with stress before performing at pre-parties. but your main partners in crime were nemo, bambie, your two baby girls marcus & martinus and your favourite person in this world — joost klein.

they all were your shoulders to cry on. you even created a group chat for your little eurovision gang. and let me say, you cried a lot during some pre-parties, both from laughing & crying. you couldn’t believe that you met that beautiful and amazing people, you were super grateful for that.

, , ,

today was the last pre-party before semi-finals, for you personally it was also a very important event, because you wanted to create a bond with your audience, and all the music parties before real contest were a must. that’s why you wanted everything to be perfect about your performance. but then you were woke up by a sharp pain in your throat, you started to panic immediately. when you tried to sang whatever song you had in mind in that moment, all you could hear was rasp voice and in this circumstance it wasn’t this sexy type of rasp.

as you walked into cafeteria, where almost every contestant were eating breakfast before rehearsals. when you saw bambie & nemo a big smile appears on your face. even if your mood were dead today, they will always make you smile no matter what. with loud sigh you sat down at the table, saying quick ‘hello’

“hi babe, what happened to your precious voice?” bambie asked and you just hided your face in your hands.

“i guess i just screamed too much at your performances and now my voice said bye bye everyone” you joked and they just laughed, but then nemo sat down next to you and bring you to side hug.

“so you won’t be performing today?” bambie asked with worry tone, they knew how much you wanted to take part in every single evening.

“did i heard something about no performing?” you heard well known voice and second later you felt his hands on your shoulders.

“our little singer is mute for today unfortunately” bambie said, as joost sat next to you.

“i don’t even want to hear about this, of course you will perform” he said with such a lightness in his voice, and everyone else send him questionable looks.

“but i barely speak, there’s no way i can sing today” joost just laughed at your comment.

“who said anything about singing, honey?” after seeing more confused looks, he just added “you will see, now let’s eat” he clapped his hands and took some fruit out of nemo’s plate.

, , ,

right now you finally were on last pre-party, the atmosphere was fantastic as always. everyone was getting ready to show, without that much stress as at the beginning of this project. you admired how people that were shy and very formal to each other now can be a hundred per cent themselves. also watching them growing as artists was another great experience, sometimes you felt like a proud mother, especially when it comes to your safe group. at this point, you didn’t even care who would win, because in any scenario you would be extremely proud of your friends.

joost told you to get ready for the concert as usual, you didn’t even question him anymore, because you knew that he wouldn’t tell you anything, so it was pointless. you wore your stage outfit and patiently waited for your turn, right now at the stage you could see your favourite twins, even if you couldn’t sing, you still loudly supported them, but only with your applauses.

finally it was your turn to go on stage, but right before your leg touched the floor, joost showed up with his iconic blue suit, he took a microphone and started talking;

“hello everyone! i know you’re all waiting for our amazing y/n, but unfortunately she won’t be give you guys proper performance today, but good for her - i’m here” he said smiling, as the crowd just laughed, then he invited you at the stage and you were loudly welcome by audience. joost handed you microphone that was turned off and you heard the beginning of your song. a few moments later instead of your voice, you heard joost who were holding a phone with the lyrics of this song.

you couldn’t believed what was happening, all you did was laugh, when you heard how he tried to mimic your singing style. but then you realised, that you should start to lip syncing, and that’s what you did.

everyone, the audience & the contestants started laughing, but also singing along with joost. that was officially your best performance at all eurovision pre parties.

when the song ended, you turned on the microphone and said shortly “you’re crazy” shortly after you heard his response “anything for you, honey”

[quinton-reviews]

Hi! Just wanted to say that your "We Don't Talk about Dan Schneider" video is probably your best work yet, though the entire miniseries is exactly what I've been looking for since iCarly went off the air. I have a Ph.D. in Film Studies, my specialty is youth media, and I was always frustrated at the lack of archival/textual analysis of Nickelodeon shows (probably because there are only now starting to be film studies professors who grew up with them, as I did -- I'm in the "watched two seasons of iCarly" age bracket). Your videos were essentially the book I'd always been looking for in my own research and teaching. Your coda about Schneider is really thoughtful, and it shows how much a project can mature when you spend this much time and energy on it. It reminded me a lot of my own book-writing experience! From an academic perspective, your work has been more than well worth it. I always saw where you were going with the Schneider stuff, and I'm grateful for it. Thank you!

This is so very kind and uplifting. That was a very difficult video to find the right words for and I really hope I did my best.

[hellochildrenoftheatom]

Queer Jews Project Day 9 - Howard Ashman

A lyricist, stage director and playwright, Howard Ashman was the magic behind the Disney renaissance. He also co-created the horror-musical Little Shop of Horrors. Howard wrote the lyrics for the songs in the Little Mermaid as well as Beauty and the Beast and some Aladdin songs.

He was an executive producer for Beauty and the Beast as well. Sadly, he didn’t live to see the finished film, as he died of AIDS in 1991 – shortly before the premier. His partner, Bill Lauch, accepted the posthumous Oscar he won the next year. Beauty and the Beast was dedicated to his memory, with the end credits reading: “To our friend, Howard, who gave a mermaid her voice and a beast his soul, we will be forever grateful.”

Learn more about Howard Ashman here.

Queer Jews Project

[misswynters]

Gym Confession

tom taylor x gn! reader

word count: 1.3k

a/n: the fic i’m writing for aeron/benji/reader is taking forever so here’s another one!@benjicotblckwood

The early morning sun peeked through the windows of the gym, casting a warm glow on the equipment. You and Tom Taylor had made it a habit to work out together whenever your schedules allowed. Today was one of those rare days where neither of you had any pressing commitments, and you were determined to make the most of it.

Tom was already at the gym when you arrived, warming up with some stretches. He flashed you a bright smile as you approached. "Hey! Ready to get started?"

"Absolutely," you replied, returning his smile. "What's the plan for today?"

He glanced at his phone, where he'd made a rough outline of the workout. "I was thinking we could start with some cardio, then move on to strength training. How does that sound?"

"Perfect," you said, feeling a rush of excitement. Working out with Tom was always fun; his enthusiasm and positive energy were contagious.

You both hopped on adjacent treadmills and began your warm-up. As the treadmills hummed beneath you, Tom started to talk about his latest project. "So, we've just wrapped up filming, and I think this one's going to be really special. The script was incredible, and the cast was amazing."

"That's great to hear," you said, slightly breathless as you picked up the pace. "I can't wait to see it. You're always so passionate about your work."

Tom grinned, clearly pleased. "Thanks. It means a lot to hear that from you."

After the cardio session, you moved on to the weight machines. Tom adjusted the settings on one of the machines and gestured for you to take the first turn. "How about we start with some leg presses?"

You nodded, positioning yourself on the machine. As you began your set, Tom stood by, offering encouragement. "You've got this. Keep your back straight and push through your heels."

His supportive words and watchful eye helped you maintain proper form, and before you knew it, you'd finished your set. Tom took his turn next, and you returned the favor, cheering him on.

"Come on, Tom! You make this look easy," you teased, watching as he effortlessly completed his reps.

He laughed, the sound bright and genuine. "Don't be fooled. I'm working hard here."

The two of you moved through the rest of your workout, alternating between different exercises and machines. Between sets, you chatted about everything from favorite movies to weekend plans, the conversation flowing naturally and easily.

As the session drew to a close, you both found yourselves at the stretching area, cooling down with some light stretches. Tom reached over and handed you a bottle of water. "Here, you need to stay hydrated."

"Thanks," you said, taking a grateful sip. "I think that was one of our best workouts yet."

"I agree," Tom said, his eyes meeting yours with a warm, genuine expression. "I always look forward to these sessions. It's nice to have a workout partner who pushes me and keeps things fun."

"Right back at you," you replied, feeling a sense of camaraderie and appreciation. "You make it so much easier to stay motivated."

As you both finished your stretches, Tom glanced at his watch. "Hey, I've got a bit of time before my next appointment. How about we grab a smoothie or something?"

"That sounds great," you said, smiling. "I know just the place."

You both headed out of the gym, the sun now higher in the sky, promising a beautiful day ahead. The nearby smoothie bar was a favorite of yours, known for its delicious and healthy options. As you walked, Tom fell into step beside you, the easy conversation continuing.

When you reached the smoothie bar, you both ordered your favorites and found a table by the window. As you sipped your drinks, Tom leaned back in his chair, a contented look on his face.

"Days like this are the best," he said, his eyes reflecting a sense of peace. "Good workout, good company, and a great smoothie to top it off."

You nodded in agreement, feeling a similar sense of satisfaction. "Couldn't agree more. It's nice to take a break and enjoy the little things."

Tom's gaze softened as he looked at you, his smile gentle. "You know, I'm really glad we do this. It means a lot to have you as a friend and workout partner."

"Same here," you replied, your heart warming at his words. "Here's to many more workouts and smoothies together."

Tom raised his smoothie cup in a mock toast, and you clinked yours against it, both of you laughing. It was moments like these that made you appreciate the special bond you shared, built on mutual respect, support, and genuine friendship.

As you finished your drinks and prepared to head your separate ways, you couldn't help but notice the way Tom's eyes lingered on you a little longer than usual. There was something in his gaze, a hint of unspoken tension that hadn't been there before.

Later that week, you and Tom found yourselves at the gym again, ready for another workout. This time, there was a slight awkwardness in the air, a tension that neither of you had addressed yet.

Tom adjusted the settings on the bench press, his movements more deliberate than usual. "Let's start with this today."

You nodded, sensing the change in his demeanor. As you took your turn on the bench press, you could feel his eyes on you, watching your every move. When it was his turn, you stood by, offering the same encouragement he always gave you.

"Come on, lord of the north. You got this," you said, trying to keep the tone light.

He managed a small smile but didn't respond with his usual banter. Instead, he focused on his reps, the silence between you growing heavier with each passing moment.

After finishing the set, Tom sat up, wiping sweat from his forehead. He glanced at you, his expression conflicted. "There's something I need to talk to you about."

You felt a knot form in your stomach. "Okay. What's going on?"

Tom took a deep breath, his eyes searching yours. "I... I've been feeling something more than just friendship between us. And I didn't want to say anything because I didn't want to ruin what we have. But it's getting harder to ignore."

Your heart raced, a mixture of emotions swirling inside you. You had always valued your friendship with Tom, but now you were forced to confront feelings you hadn't fully acknowledged.

"I don't want to ruin what we have either," you said softly. "But I can't deny that there's something there."

Tom's eyes softened, relief washing over his features. "So, what do we do?"

You took a deep breath, trying to steady your racing thoughts. "I think we need to be honest with each other. We can take things slow and see where it goes. But whatever happens, I don't want to lose our friendship."

Tom nodded, a small smile forming on his lips. "I can agree to that. Slow and honest."

The tension between you eased slightly, replaced by a sense of anticipation and curiosity about what the future might hold. As you continued your workout, the unspoken understanding between you added a new layer to your interactions.

Later, as you cooled down with some light stretches, Tom reached over and gently squeezed your hand. "Thanks for being honest with me. It means a lot."

You squeezed his hand back, feeling a sense of connection that was deeper than ever. "Thank you for bringing it up. I'm glad we talked about it."

As you both left the gym and headed to the smoothie bar once again, the conversation flowed more easily. There was still a lot to figure out, but you knew that with honesty and openness, you could navigate this new phase of your relationship together. Sitting at the same table by the window, sipping your smoothies, you felt a renewed sense of optimism.

[poweringthroughthis]

love on the beach | jeong jaehyun

desc: paired opposite each other in one of the most anticipated series this year, (name) and jaehyun struggle to see the fine line between play-pretend and real feelings.

warnings: making out

Being the latest topic of conversation in the industry has its benefits. The fans, the money, the vanity, stardom leaves no luxury in life unattainable. And trust him, (name) was beyond grateful for all that and more. But perhaps the general audience is unaware of some unavoidable downsides that actors have to face.

For one, you’re not allowed a lot of autonomy on what projects to sign when you’re a newcomer. Which explains why (name) was in his current predicament. Having to share a bed with Jaehyun.

Jeong Jaehyun, one of the most visually stunning men to ever step foot on earth. He was already an established idol in the kpop business and was recently venturing into the world of cinema, with a BL series no less. Given his natural talent for acting, angelic voice and great face card, there was no doubt he’d take the acting world by storm as well in no time.

This was even more reason for (name) to feel nervous around the man, he was way behind the singer in terms of achievements and fame. The two were in Hawaii to shoot a confession scene at a beach house and the filming ended late.

Since the production was behind schedule(owing to both males’ other commitments), the hotel they had booked for the week long stay, only had one room available for this final (extended) night. Ha, they’d have to make do.

It was not awkward, but the air was a little tense as Jaehyun set his things down. He was just as friendly and soft spoken off-screen as he was in front of the cameras. His personality made it easy for the other to loosen up around him.

By the time they were ready for bed, the awkwardness had long dissipated. Both men were in a good mood, a little drunk too. Nonetheless, the thought of sharing a bed with Jaehyun sent shivers up (name)’s spine.

(name) tried his best to maintain as much distance as he could without seeming rude. Jaehyun was facing the other way, relieving (name)’s nerves a little, though he still spent half of the night squirming in his place with unease.

Eventually, he grabbed his phone from the bedside table and squinted his eyes to check the time.

02.39 AM.

Jaehyun was lying down, his eyes shut. You could never tell what a guy like him was thinking about.

You could tell he was asleep when his breathing steadied. His face looked even more stunning in the dim light. (Name) stared at the other in wonder.

It felt weird having a guy who was not only famous, but also incredibly attractive, lying in bed next to him.

(Name) was sure his lips would taste like heaven.

And suddenly, his arms were wrapping around the observing male, pulling him close. Jaehyun whispered his name, his voice dripping with affection. (Name), startled, could feel the half-asleep male’s hot breath against his ear.

His heart was beating so loud, he was afraid Jaehyun would hear. But Jaehyun didn't seem to care, instead he continued, "(Name), I like you. I know it's wrong but I can't help myself."

A wave of heat spread across (name)’s face. Jaehyun pressed his lips to the still shocked male’s neck. His kisses were hot and wet. His skin tingled wherever Jaehyun’s mouth touched it.

(name)’s body trembled as he nibbled and sucked at his flesh. Jaehyun’s caressing hand traveled down his side, resting on his hip.

His touch was gentle and reassuring, but still, the other actor was nervous. His thoughts ran a thousand miles a second in order to not overlook the gravity of the situation. The Jeong Jaehyun, just told (name) he liked him and was currently smooching him in a hotel room in Hawaii.

He kissed (name) deeply.

His tongue pushed past (name)’s lips, exploring his mouth. He tasted like cinnamon and honey.

Jaehyun pulled away, gazing at the flushed male. One could see the sincerity in his eyes. (Name) liked him too. But this was beyond scary. Jaehyun was one of the most popular guys on the planet and here he was, professing his feelings to his male co-actor.

The situation was almost surreal.

(name) didn't know what to say, so he just leaned forward, capturing Jaehyun’s lips in a kiss. His grip on (name) tightened. He ran his fingers through the shorter’s hair, pulling him closer.

The two were lost in the moment, letting go of all inhibitions. They made out for what seemed like forever. Finally, Jaehyun pulled away, leaving them both breathless.

"I want to take you out. On a date."

The words hit (name) hard.

A date. A real, proper date.

The last time he'd gone on a date was... well, ages ago.

(name) hadn't really dated anyone since he entered the industry. Propelling his career came first, and dating had been the furthest thing from the plans.

But now?

Now he couldn't imagine doing anything else.

"Yes. Yes, of course."

(Name) nodded.

"Really? Are you sure?"

(Name) gave him a small smile.

"Absolutely."

The agreeing male couldn’t help but let out a chuckle again. Jaehyun raised an inquisitive brow at the action as he explained.

“When you were stuttering while filming the confession scene today, I never thought this was the reason.” (name) exclaimed.

“And what do you think now?”

“I think my fluttered just the same on both occasions, Jaehyun.” (name) looked at the male with adoration.

Jaehyun grinned, and it was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

[movingmusically]

Hi I have a request that the female lead is also an actress and austin thinks she is cheating on him with her co star make it angsty but with a happy ending please

And I love your fics btw

Author’s Note:

I used Luke Grimes as the costar because I binged Yellowstone over the holidays, and, well, let’s just say he made me feel a certain type of way. Feel free to replace him with someone else when you read!

Word Count: 10,785

Masterlist

The Way Back

The days on set blurred together, one long string of early mornings, late nights, and quick meals eaten out of styrofoam containers. This project was the biggest of your career so far—a gritty, romantic drama with sweeping landscapes and an emotional arc that pushed your limits. It was the kind of role you’d dreamed of since the start of your career, the kind that could define everything that came next.

You loved it, truly, but it was exhausting. And demanding. Every ounce of your focus had been poured into the project for the last two months, leaving little time for anything else—especially your relationship with Austin.

Not that he didn’t understand. He did. Austin had spent years working the same unpredictable schedules, throwing himself so completely into roles that you’d once joked he could disappear into them entirely. He’d laughed, saying he’d come back in one piece—but understanding each other’s worlds didn’t make the strain of long-distance easier to bear.

Lately, the distance had felt sharper. Calls had grown shorter, text exchanges briefer. You told yourself it was the hectic pace, that Austin had his own obligations, and you both trusted each other. But there were moments—like now, when the pang of missing him felt sharper—that made you wonder if it was enough.

Your co-star, Luke Grimes, had made the process more bearable. From the start, the two of you had clicked in a way that felt easy and natural, finding camaraderie in the chaos. Luke was laid-back, quick to laugh, and refreshingly grounded—a sharp contrast to the pressure surrounding the project. He’d been the one to make the cast group chats less awkward and to break the tension during gruelling days on set.

Most importantly, he was professional. There was a clear boundary of mutual respect between you, a comforting balance of work and light-hearted friendship. It was the perfect working relationship.

But even perfect could be misread.

It hadn’t escaped your notice that Austin wasn’t entirely sold on the dynamic. He’d teased you about it early on, his tone light but carrying the faint edge of something unspoken. You’d brushed it off, assuming he’d get used to hearing Luke’s voice in the background when you called him from set or mentioned something funny Luke had said.

“You’ve got quite the scene partner, huh?” Austin had remarked once during a late-night call. His voice had been warm, but the faintest thread of tension laced his words.

“He’s great,” you’d replied, keeping your tone casual. “Super professional. It’s been a lot easier having him around.”

Austin had hummed, a sound that was neither agreement nor disagreement. “He sounds like a good guy,” he’d added after a pause, but there’d been something in the way he said it that stayed with you long after the call ended.

Now, weeks later, you couldn’t help but wonder if that lingering doubt had grown.

The day’s scene only added fuel to the fire. It was one of the film’s most pivotal moments—an emotionally charged kiss between your characters, set in a sweeping meadow under the golden light of late afternoon. The director wanted raw vulnerability, an authenticity that meant rehearsing the scene over and over until every movement, every glance, felt seamless.

Luke, as always, had been a steadying force. “We’ll get it,” he’d said after the first take, flashing you a reassuring grin. “It’s like muscle memory. Just don’t overthink it.”

You’d nodded, grateful for his calmness. By the time the cameras started rolling, you’d slipped into the rhythm of it, the rest of the world fading as you and Luke worked through the scene.

What you hadn’t accounted for were the fans and paparazzi lurking just beyond the set’s fence line. You’d caught glimpses of them between takes—fans with their phones out, photographers with long lenses, all of them angling for the perfect shot. It wasn’t the first time you’d had to deal with onlookers, but the weight of their stares, paired with the intimacy of the scene, made your chest tighten.

By the time the director called it a wrap, the sun had dipped lower in the sky, bathing the field in warm light. You were drained, your mind already drifting to the quiet comfort of home—and Austin. It had been days since you’d had a proper conversation, and guilt tugged at you as you packed up your things.

“I’m out for the night,” Luke said, slinging his bag over his shoulder. He paused, his easy grin softening. “You good?”

“Yeah,” you replied quickly, offering a tired smile. “Just ready to crash.”

“Same. Don’t let the vultures get to you.” he added with a chuckle, nodding toward the edge of the set where some photographers were still milling about. You laughed lightly, waving him off before heading to your car.

By the time you got home, exhaustion had won. You barely made it through a shower and a quick attempt at dinner before collapsing into bed, your phone charging on the nightstand. The thought of calling Austin lingered, but sleep overtook you before you could press the button.

The buzzing of your phone woke you the next morning. You blinked against the sunlight streaming through the window, your stomach sinking as you saw the missed calls and unread texts from Austin.

10:12 p.m.: Hey, call me when you can.

11:45 p.m.: Are you okay?

1:00 a.m.: Never mind. Good night.

Shit. You groaned, running a hand through your hair as guilt settled like a stone in your stomach. You’d slept through all of them. With a sigh, you typed out a quick reply.

Morning. I’m so sorry, I crashed early last night. Call you soon?

With no response, you set the phone down and got ready for the day, trying to shake the unease creeping in.

But when you arrived on set, unease gave way to dread. Crew members whispered in tight circles, their voices carrying snatches of words like “chemistry” and “photos.” You didn’t need to ask what they were talking about; the look your makeup artist gave you as you stepped into your trailer said it all.

Your hands shook as you unlocked your phone. The headlines were everywhere. Paparazzi photos of you and Luke from the previous day’s scene were splashed across every entertainment site—intimate, romantic shots of the kiss, interspersed with candid moments where you and Luke had laughed between takes.

You felt sick scrolling through them. Headlines like “New Power Couple?” and “Chemistry On and Off Screen?” blurred together as your chest tightened. This wasn’t just invasive—it was wildly misleading. Luke was married, for God’s sake.

You didn’t even notice you’d been holding your breath until it rushed out in a sharp exhale. Slamming your phone face down on the counter, you closed your eyes, willing the tightness in your chest to subside. This was the last thing you needed.

The day passed in a haze. You texted Austin a few more times but got nothing back. By the time you finally worked up the nerve to call him during your lunch break, his voice on the other end felt distant.

“Hey,” you said softly, leaning against the wall of your trailer. “I’ve been trying to reach you.”

“Yeah,” he replied, his tone clipped. “Saw your texts.”

Your chest tightened. “Austin, if this is about the photos—”

“I didn’t say it was,” he cut in, though the tension in his voice was unmistakable.

Your stomach twisted. “Okay.” You took a steadying breath. “But it feels like it.”

There was a long pause on his end, the kind that made your throat tighten and your heart ache. When he finally spoke, his voice was quieter, but the edge hadn’t disappeared. “I just… I don’t know. It’s just… hard to see. That’s all.”

You closed your eyes, willing yourself to stay calm. “You know what the job is. You know this doesn’t mean anything, right?”

“I do,” he said after a beat, but his hesitation cut deeper than his words. “It’s just… hard to see you like that with someone else.”

You exhaled softly, trying to keep the frustration out of your voice. “Then let’s talk about it properly. When are you free?”

There was a pause on the other end of the line, long enough to make your heart tighten. “I’ve got Sunday off,” he finally said. “I could drive up.”

You nodded, even though he couldn’t see you. “Good. Come here, and we’ll figure this out.”

“Okay,” he said after a moment, his voice softening just enough to give you hope. “I’ll see you Sunday.”

When the call ended, you let your phone fall to your lap, staring at the blank screen as a dull ache settled in your chest. You’d made plans to talk, but the unease lingered. It wasn’t like Austin to hold back, and the weight of his hesitation hung heavy in your mind.

You pushed the thought aside, telling yourself that Sunday would come soon enough—and that you’d make him see what you already knew in your heart.

Sunday came quicker than you expected, though the week leading up to it had felt like an endless slog of rehearsals, night shoots, and rushed meals. You barely had time to think, which in some ways, was a relief. But as soon as you woke up that morning, nerves churned in your stomach like a storm waiting to break.

The day crawled by in slow motion, each hour stretching as you tried to focus on anything but Austin’s visit. You cleaned your apartment twice, rearranged the throw pillows on the small couch, and rehearsed conversations in your head until none of them felt right. By the time his knock came in the early afternoon, you were almost too tense to move.

But when you opened the door and saw him standing there, your heart lurched in recognition. Austin looked like he always did—comfortable, familiar, achingly handsome in his usual jeans and t-shirt. His hands were shoved deep into his pockets, and though he smiled, it didn’t quite reach his eyes. There was a shadow there, subtle but undeniable, that made your chest ache.

“Hey,” you said softly, stepping aside to let him in, your voice barely above a whisper.

“Hey.” He hesitated for the briefest moment before leaning down to press a kiss to your cheek. His touch was warm, but fleeting, and it left a hollow feeling in its wake.

As he stepped inside, you caught the faintest scent of his cologne—woodsy and clean, something that always felt like home. He looked around the small space with an air of quiet restraint, his movements careful, like he wasn’t sure where to land. You gestured toward the couch, and he followed, sitting with his elbows resting on his knees, his gaze fixed on the floor for a moment before lifting to meet yours.

The silence between you was heavy, thick with everything unsaid. You sat beside him, your hands clasped tightly in your lap, and started with the basics. You talked about the week—how hectic it had been, the night shoots, the endless rehearsals—and he told you about his latest projects, his words measured but distant. The conversation felt stilted, like a puzzle with missing pieces, and every pause only seemed to magnify the distance between you.

Finally, you decided to address it head-on.

“I saw the photos,” you said carefully, your voice steady but soft. You watched his face for any sign of reaction, your pulse quickening when he stiffened slightly. “I know they didn’t help.”

Austin let out a long sigh, his hand running through his hair as he leaned back against the couch. The gesture was familiar, but the weight behind it wasn’t. “It’s not the photos,” he said after a moment, though his tone told a different story. “I mean, yeah, they’re hard to look at. But it’s more than that.”

His words hung in the air, heavy and unresolved. You frowned, shifting to face him fully. “What do you mean?”

He hesitated, his gaze flickering to the floor before meeting yours again. His shoulders rose and fell in a slow breath, like he was bracing himself. “It’s just… we haven’t had much time together lately. And with everything going on, it’s easy to let my mind wander.”

The honesty in his voice cut through you like a knife. Your chest tightened as you reached for his hand, your fingers brushing his hesitantly before lacing through his. His grip was warm but hesitant, and it made your heart ache even more.

“Austin, you know what the job is,” you said gently, trying to meet his eyes. “You’ve been here. You’ve done this. You know how much it means to me.”

“I do,” he said quickly, his gaze softening just slightly as it met yours. “And I’m proud of you. I really am. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy.”

You swallowed hard, your fingers tightening around his. “I miss you too. And I hate that this has been so hard. But you know I’d never… I mean, Luke and I—”

“I know,” he cut in, his voice firm but steady. “I know nothing’s happening. But seeing those photos… hearing his voice when we talk—it’s just been a lot.”

His words were careful, but the vulnerability behind them was unmistakable. You exhaled softly, squeezing his hand as you leaned closer, your voice unwavering.

“Then let me make this clear,” you said, your eyes locked on his. “I love you, Austin. You. Not Luke, not anyone else. You’re it for me.”

For a moment, he didn’t respond. His eyes searched yours, the tension in his face slowly unraveling as your words sank in. His shoulders relaxed, his grip on your hand tightening just slightly as he let out a quiet breath.

“I know,” he said finally, his voice softer now, almost a whisper. “I just needed to hear it.”

You stayed like that for a moment, the silence between you shifting into something lighter, more fragile but no longer heavy. Slowly, you felt the weight begin to lift.

The rest of the day passed more easily. You walked through the quiet streets near the set, your fingers brushing his as you strolled past shopfronts and small cafés. The conversation flowed more naturally, laughter slipping back into the spaces where tension had lived just hours before. When you sat down for a late lunch at a cozy café, it almost felt like nothing had changed.

By the time Austin left that evening, the warmth between you had returned. He kissed you before he left, his hands cradling your face with a tenderness that made your heart ache. It was a kiss that said more than words, one that carried the promise of everything you’d built together.

But even as you stood in the doorway and watched him drive away, a small part of you couldn’t shake the unease lingering in the back of your mind. You’d made progress, yes—but something told you the worst wasn’t behind you yet.

The following weeks passed in a blur, the rhythm of set life pulling you back into its relentless pace. You and Austin texted more often, exchanged calls when you could, but the strain of distance still lingered in the quieter moments. It was better, but not perfect. And you weren’t sure if “better” was enough to soothe the tension simmering just beneath the surface.

You threw yourself into a surprise you’d been planning for his birthday, something to bridge the gap even though you wouldn’t be together on the actual day. It had started as a small idea—a collection of your favourite photos and videos together—but as the days passed, it evolved into something more. Late at night, after long days on set, you poured hours into a video montage. It became a celebration of your story: grainy selfies from the early days of your relationship, clips of Austin laughing, candid moments of him playing guitar, and quiet shots of him lost in thought. You even found a video he’d taken during one of your first dates, his voice narrating the scene as he tried to make you laugh.

You added everything you could find—every moment that made your chest ache in the best way. The video felt like a love letter, stitched together from fragments of your life together, and the thought of showing it to him filled you with equal parts excitement and nervousness. Would it be enough to remind him of everything you’d built? Of how much he meant to you?

Luke had unknowingly helped in other ways. During one late-night conversation on set, he’d mentioned a rare book Austin had been hunting for, something he’d talked about months ago when the three of you had chatted over dinner. “I think I know a guy who can track it down,” Luke had offered casually, his easy grin making it clear he didn’t think twice about it.

“Seriously?” you’d asked, your eyes lighting up. “That would be amazing.”

He’d waved you off with a chuckle. “Leave it with me. I’ll see what I can do.”

You poured every spare moment into the birthday surprise, letting it be your anchor amidst the chaos of work and distance. The thought of seeing Austin’s reaction—of being there to celebrate, even if a little early—kept you going.

By the time the video was finished, you couldn’t help but watch it back late one night, headphones in as you lay curled up in your apartment. The soft glow of the screen illuminated the quiet pride on Austin’s face after wrapping a show, the way his smile widened when he realised you were filming him. You’d added your favourite song to the background—a track he’d played for you during one of your first road trips together—and the combination was enough to make your throat tighten.

You saved the file, feeling a little lighter as you closed your laptop. Luke had managed to find the book for you, and everything was falling into place. For the first time in weeks, you felt hopeful.

With the video complete and the book set to arrive soon, the timing couldn’t have been better. A holiday weekend meant you had a rare break from filming—a whole two days to spend together without the interruptions of work or distance. You’d already arranged to drive to Austin’s place, planning to surprise him with an early birthday celebration. The thought of watching his reaction to the video, of handing him the rare book he’d been searching for, filled you with a quiet thrill.

This wasn’t just about his birthday; it was about reminding him of everything you’d built together and why it was worth fighting for. You couldn’t wait to bridge the gap, to let the moments you’d worked so hard to collect speak louder than the distance ever could.

The morning you left for Austin’s, you were buzzing with anticipation. The drive felt endless, even though you’d timed it perfectly to avoid traffic. As you navigated the familiar streets leading to his apartment, the weight of the past few weeks began to lift. For the first time in what felt like ages, you allowed yourself to hope—hope that this weekend would bring you both back to where you belonged.

When you arrived, Austin opened the door with a soft smile. “Hey, stranger,” he said, pulling you into a warm hug. You melted into his embrace, breathing him in as his arms wrapped around you.

“Hey,” you murmured, looking up at him. The tension from your last conversation seemed to have eased, though there was still something guarded in his eyes. You brushed it off, determined to focus on the time you had together.

The evening unfolded quietly, the two of you slipping into an easy rhythm of takeout and soft conversation. It felt familiar—comfortable even—and you let yourself hope that maybe the weekend would bring you closer again. But as the night wore on, there was an undercurrent you couldn’t quite shake, an edge to the silences that stretched between you.

After dinner, as you curled up on the couch scrolling through your phone, a message from Luke popped up: Book’s been shipped—should be there tomorrow. Glad I could help with this one.

You couldn’t help but smile, relief flooding through you as you read the words. Finally, the last piece of the birthday surprise was falling into place. Quickly, you typed out a thank-you message, your fingers flying across the screen: You’re the best. This is going to mean so much to him.

When you glanced up, you caught Austin watching you. He was leaning against the armrest of the couch, his head resting on his hand, his expression unreadable. “What’s got you smiling like that?” he asked, his tone light, but something in his eyes gave you pause.

“Nothing,” you said quickly, locking your phone and setting it aside. “Just finishing something up.”

He nodded, but his gaze lingered a little too long before he turned back to the movie playing softly in the background. You felt the weight of his unspoken questions pressing against you, but you pushed it aside, determined not to let anything ruin the weekend.

The next morning, the atmosphere was still quiet but tense. Austin had been up before you, brewing coffee and scrolling through his phone at the kitchen counter. You tried to shake the unease creeping in, focusing instead on the anticipation of the book’s arrival.

Just before noon, your phone buzzed with an incoming call. Glancing at the screen, you recognised the delivery service number. “I’ll be right back,” you said casually, as you headed for the door.

Austin looked up from his mug, a questioning flicker in his eyes, but he didn’t say anything.

Outside, the air was warm and thick, clinging to your skin as you made your way to meet the courier. A small smile tugged at your lips when you saw the package in his hands—small, neatly wrapped, and containing the rare book you’d gone through so much effort to track down. You signed for it quickly, tucking it under your arm as you headed back inside, your excitement bubbling.

When you walked through the door, Austin was standing in the living room, his arms crossed and his jaw tight. His gaze dropped to the package in your hands before snapping back to your face.

“Who was that?” he asked, his tone sharper than you’d ever heard.

“Just a delivery,” you said lightly, stepping past him to set the package on the coffee table. “Why?”

His eyes followed you, narrowing as the tension in the room thickened. “You’ve been sneaking around all weekend,” he said, his voice low but taut with frustration. “Always on your phone, stepping outside to take calls… What’s going on?”

Your chest tightened as you spun to face him. “Austin, it’s nothing. I told you, I’ve been working on something.”

He took a step closer, his tone rising with anger. “With Luke? Is that what this is about?”

Your heart dropped. “It is Luke I’ve been talking to, but—”

“But what?” he interrupted, his voice rising. “You’ve been glued to your phone, smiling at his messages, sneaking off to take his calls. What the hell am I supposed to think?”

You froze, disbelief washing over you. “Are you serious right now?”

“Yes,” he said bitterly, his voice trembling with restrained anger. He hesitated for a beat, his jaw tightening, before the words spilled out. “Are you fucking him?”

The words hit like a slap, the room spinning for a moment as they sank in. You stared at him, stunned, your pulse pounding in your ears. “What the hell did you just say?”

“I don’t know what to think anymore!” he snapped, his hands thrown up in frustration. “You’ve been so secretive—what else am I supposed to believe?”

Anger flared in your chest, hot and blinding. Without thinking, you grabbed the package and shoved it into his chest. “This!” you yelled, your voice trembling. “This is what I’ve been sneaking around for!”

He stared at the package, taking it from your hands, his expression flickering from anger to confusion. “What…?”

“It’s for you!” you shouted, tears pricking at your eyes. “For your birthday! I’ve been working on a surprise—putting together a video, finding this book. Luke helped me track it down because I wanted it to be perfect. And now you’re standing here accusing me of cheating? With him?”

His expression crumbled, regret flashing in his eyes. “I didn’t mean—”

“You did!” you interrupted, your voice breaking. “You did mean it, or you wouldn’t have said it. You just assumed the worst.”

The weight of his words—and the betrayal they carried—crushed you. Tears spilled over as you stepped away from him, your hands trembling. “I can’t believe you’d think that of me.”

“Baby, I—”

“No,” you said firmly, holding up a hand to stop him. “You don’t get to ‘baby’ me right now. “I trust you, Austin. When you’re surrounded by people who adore you, working with beautiful women—I trust you. The way you look at everyone, always charming, always making people feel like they’re the centre of your world—I never question it, because I know you, and I know us. And I thought you knew me, that you trusted me the same way.”

His lips parted as if to respond, but you pressed on, your voice firm. “Trust isn’t negotiable, Austin. If you can’t give me that, then I don’t know what we’re even doing.”

The room fell silent, the weight of your words hanging heavy between you. Austin reached for you, his hand hovering just inches away before dropping back to his side. His face softened, his shoulders sagging as his anger dissolved. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly, his voice cracking. “I messed up.”

“It’s not just a mistake,” you said, your voice trembling but resolute. “If you can’t trust me, we don’t have a future.”

The silence that followed was deafening, broken only by your shaky breaths. You took a step back, your voice softening. “I love you, Austin. But I can’t stay here right now.”

Without waiting for a reply, you turned and walked toward the bedroom, the weight of your heartbreak settling over you like a storm. Your vision blurred with tears as you packed your bag, trying to ignore the sound of Austin’s footsteps behind you—or the way his voice cracked when he said your name.

“Please, don’t go,” he said softly, his voice raw with regret.

You paused but didn’t turn around. “I need time. And I think you do too.”

You finished packing and zipped your bag with trembling hands. Before you left the bedroom, you reached into the side pocket and pulled out the small memory stick containing the video. You walked to the counter, placing it down gently with a handwritten sticker that read Play Me.

“Happy birthday,” you said quietly, your voice breaking as you turned to the door.

His eyes searched yours, the regret in them almost enough to shatter you. “I don’t want to lose you.”

You didn’t answer, stepping out into the warm air as the door clicked softly behind you. Your heart ached with every step, the sting of his accusation lingering like a wound, raw and bleeding.

The hotel room was small but clean, its walls painted in muted tones that felt both calming and stifling. You sat on the edge of the bed, your hands clasped tightly in your lap, the weight of the day pressing down on your chest.

You’d left Austin’s apartment hours ago, but the tension lingered like a storm cloud, heavy and unrelenting. Every word of the argument replayed in your mind, cutting deeper each time. You pressed the heels of your hands against your eyes, willing the tears to stop.

Your phone buzzed, the sound sharp in the quiet room. You hesitated before reaching for it, your heart sinking when you saw Austin’s name. A voice note.

For a moment, you debated letting it sit there, unheard. But your thumb moved on its own, hovering over the play button before finally pressing down.

His voice filled the room, raw and heavy with emotion. “I know I’m probably the last person you want to hear from right now, but I need to say this. I messed up today. I let my insecurities get the better of me, and I hurt you in ways I never should have.”

You closed your eyes, the sound of his voice twisting something deep inside you.

“There’s no excuse for what I said, and I don’t expect you to forgive me easily. But I need you to know how deeply sorry I am.”

The words hung in the air, each one a mix of regret and desperation. His voice cracked as he continued. “I watched the video. I… I don’t even know how to describe it—seeing every moment you chose to include, hearing our song in the background. You put so much love into it, and I… I let my own fears blind me to everything you’ve done for us.”

Your throat tightened, a fresh wave of tears pooling in your eyes as you listened.

“When I think about the way I looked at you today, the things I said… I hate myself for it. You’ve always trusted me, even when you had every reason not to. And instead of showing you that same trust, I doubted you. I doubted us. That’s on me, and I’ll carry it until I can prove to you that I’ll never make that mistake again.”

The note ended with a long pause, as though he were gathering himself. “I don’t want to lose you. But I know I’ve given you every reason to walk away. If you can give me another chance—whenever you’re ready—I’ll be here. I love you. Always.”

The recording ended, leaving a deafening silence in its wake. Your hands trembled as you set the phone down, Austin’s words echoing in your mind. Tears came then, hot and unstoppable, as you curled into yourself on the bed. The ache in your chest didn’t lessen, but the sharp edges dulled just slightly.

You weren’t ready to respond—not yet. But as you stared at your phone, Austin’s voice still lingering in the room, a sliver of hope pushed through the cracks.

The next morning, sunlight filtered through the thin curtains of the hotel room, soft and unassuming. You woke up with a dull ache in your chest, the weight of Austin’s voice note from the night before lingering. Sleep had been restless, your mind replaying his words alongside every sharp moment of yesterday’s fight.

You sat on the edge of the bed, staring at the packed bag sitting near the door. The thought of leaving felt heavy, but not for the reasons you’d expected. The weekend you’d planned—filled with laughter, connection, and the hope of repairing the distance—had turned into something entirely different. And now, there was nothing left but to move forward.

After checking out of the hotel, you slid into the driver’s seat of your car and gripped the steering wheel, staring out at the quiet street in front of you. The video, the book—they’d all been meant to remind Austin of your love, to pull you both closer. But now you wondered if they had only exposed the cracks you hadn’t realised were there.

The drive back to your apartment near the set felt endless, the road stretching out in front of you. The radio played softly in the background, but even your favourite songs couldn’t break through the thoughts swirling in your mind. You hadn’t responded to Austin’s voice note yet. Every time you reached for your phone, the words you wanted to say eluded you.

By the time you pulled into the lot outside your building, the sun had begun to dip below the horizon, painting the sky in muted oranges and purples. You grabbed your bag from the trunk, the familiar rhythm of life near set tugging at you like an anchor. But even as you walked toward your apartment, the weight of everything you’d left behind refused to lift.

Inside, the space felt cold and empty. You set your bag down near the door and wandered into the small kitchen, absentmindedly filling a glass with water as you tried to push the unease from your chest. Tomorrow’s schedule was packed, and the last thing you could afford was to let your personal life bleed into your work. But the thought of stepping onto set, of pretending everything was fine, felt like an insurmountable task.

Your phone buzzed on the counter, the vibration breaking the silence. You glanced at it briefly, a notification flashing across the screen—a low battery warning. Your hand hesitated before reaching for it, you knew exactly what still waited. Austin’s voice note, daring you to listen again. You didn’t press play. Instead, you opened a blank message, your fingers hesitating over the keyboard.

I made it back safely. Thanks for the note. I need some time, but… I heard you. I’ll let you know when I’m ready to talk.

You hit send before you could overthink it, your chest tightening as the message delivered. Setting the phone aside, you walked into the living room and sank onto the couch, your elbows resting on your knees as you stared at the floor.

Tomorrow would come too soon, but tonight, at least, you could sit with your thoughts—however heavy they might be.

The next day started earlier than you wanted it to. The sun wasn’t even up when your alarm cut through the quiet, pulling you from restless sleep. Your first instinct was to reach for your phone, but you hesitated, fingers hovering over the screen. You had nothing to say yet—nothing that wouldn’t unravel everything you were holding together.

By the time you arrived on set, the hum of activity pulled you into its current. Crew members bustled around, adjusting lights and equipment, while the director barked instructions. You kept your head down, focusing on the pages in your hand, but the weight in your chest refused to ease.

Luke’s voice broke through your thoughts. “Hey.”

You looked up to see him leaning casually against the craft services table, his coffee in hand. His expression softened when he saw you. “How was your weekend?”

The question hit harder than it should have. You opened your mouth to respond, but the words tangled in your throat. Tears welled up unexpectedly, and before you could stop them, they spilled over.

Luke’s eyes widened in alarm. “Whoa, hey, what’s wrong?”

You shook your head, swiping at your cheeks. “Nothing. It’s fine. Just—just a long weekend.”

He frowned, stepping closer. “This doesn’t look like ‘nothing.’ Come on, talk to me.”

You wanted to tell him it was fine, that you didn’t need to unload on him. But the concern in his voice—and the fact that he wasn’t letting it go—made you falter. Finally, you exhaled shakily and whispered, “It’s Austin. We… we had a fight.”

Luke’s expression shifted, a mix of sympathy and curiosity. “About what?”

You hesitated, unsure how much to reveal. “It’s complicated. Just… things got tense, and I left early.”

Luke nodded slowly, his brow furrowing. “Did he say something stupid?”

You let out a hollow laugh. “Yeah. He said something really stupid.”

Luke crossed his arms, his brow furrowing thoughtfully. “Did he… at least like the book?”

The question caught you off guard, and your composure cracked further. A sob escaped before you could stop it, and you pressed a hand to your mouth, shaking your head.

“Oh, shit,” Luke muttered, stepping closer with a look of alarm. “I didn’t mean to—”

You waved him off, managing to choke out, “I don’t even know if he opened it.”

Luke’s expression softened, and he let out a quiet sigh. “Hey, whatever it is, it’ll work out. He’s a good guy, but even good guys can be idiots sometimes. And if he doesn’t realise how lucky he is, that’s on him.”

You managed a weak smile through your tears, appreciating the sincerity in his tone. “Thanks, Luke.”

He shrugged, his grin returning. “Just telling the truth. But seriously, if you need anything, I’m here.”

His words settled something in you, a small crack of light in the darkness you’d been carrying. You wiped your eyes and gave him a grateful nod. “Thanks.”

The rest of the morning passed in a blur of rehearsals and blocking, the familiar rhythm of set life forcing you to push everything else to the back of your mind. The scene you were working on wasn’t particularly emotional, but holding it together felt like walking a tightrope. Every word, every movement felt like a performance within a performance, your heart and mind elsewhere entirely.

During a short break, you found yourself sitting in a quiet corner near the trailers, scrolling aimlessly through your phone. You weren’t even sure what you were looking for, but the sight of Austin’s name in your contacts made your chest tighten all over again.

You set the phone down and pressed your hands against your eyes, trying to will the ache away. You’d responded to his voice note, but you hadn’t heard back. It wasn’t surprising—he was likely giving you the time and space you’d asked for—but the silence felt heavier than you’d expected.

Luke appeared again, holding two bottles of water. He held one out to you, his expression careful but warm. “Thought you could use this.”

“Thanks,” you murmured, taking it gratefully.

He sat down beside you, his usual easy confidence tempered with quiet concern. “You holding up okay?”

You nodded, though it felt like a lie. “Yeah. Just… trying to focus.”

Luke studied you for a moment before leaning back, stretching his legs out in front of him. “You don’t have to pretend you’re fine, you know. It’s okay to feel like crap sometimes.”

You let out a soft laugh, more out of surprise than amusement. “Is that your motivational speech for the day?”

“Hey, I’m full of wisdom,” he said with a grin, but his tone softened as he added, “Seriously, though. You don’t have to carry all this on your own. It’s okay to let people in.”

His words stayed with you long after he left, echoing in your mind as you went back to work. You weren’t used to leaning on people—not really. But maybe, just maybe, he was right.

That evening, you sat cross-legged on the floor of your apartment, the faint hum of the city outside your window the only sound. Your script was open in front of you, but the words blurred together as your thoughts drifted back to Austin.

The video had been meant as a celebration of your relationship, a reminder of everything you’d built together. But now, it felt like a painful question mark—something you weren’t sure he’d even wanted to watch. You stared at your phone, wondering if he’d responded to your earlier message.

Your heart skipped when you saw a new notification. Not a text, but another voice note.

For a moment, you debated leaving it unread, the fear of what it might contain weighing heavily on you. But your thumb moved on its own, pressing play as the sound filled the room.

“Hey,” Austin’s voice began, softer this time, like he was treading carefully. “I didn’t want to overwhelm you, but I’ve been thinking about what you said. And I know I screwed up—badly. But I just… I wanted you to know I’m trying to figure out how to make it right.”

There was a pause, and you could hear the faint sound of him taking a shaky breath. “I watched the video again. Twice, actually. And I can’t stop thinking about everything you put into it. The way you see me… it’s more than I deserve after everything I said.”

Your chest tightened, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes.

“I know you need time, and I’m not going to push you. But I just… I want you to know that I’m here. And when you’re ready, I’ll do whatever it takes to fix this. I love you.”

The message ended, leaving you in the quiet once again. You set the phone down slowly, Austin’s words still ringing in your ears. The ache in your chest was still there, but it felt just a little less heavy.

For the first time, you allowed yourself to hope.

The end of the shoot was still three weeks away, but the pace on set had only intensified. Every day felt like an uphill climb—early call times, late nights, and a director who was determined to wring every ounce of emotion out of every scene. You kept your head down and pushed through it, pouring yourself into the work, but the weight of everything happening with Austin lingered like a shadow you couldn’t shake.

It had been three days since you’d sent that message from your apartment: I need some time. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to reach out—it was that you didn’t know how. What could you even say? The apology he’d left in the voice note had been heartfelt, but the hurt from that weekend still sat raw in your chest.

Each night, you’d lie awake in the quiet of your apartment, your phone sitting untouched on the nightstand, as you turned the argument over in your mind. You hated how it had ended, but you hated even more that you didn’t know how to fix it.

A few nights later, after another exhausting day on set, you sat on the couch with your dinner untouched on the coffee table in front of you. Your phone was in your hand, your thumb hovering over Austin’s name in your messages.

Finally, after what felt like hours of debating, you typed out a short message:

I don’t know what to say. I don’t even know how to feel right now. But I think we need to talk.

Your finger lingered over the send button before you finally pressed it. The moment the message delivered, your stomach twisted in a tight knot of nerves. Would he respond? Did he even want to?

Your phone buzzed almost immediately, his reply popping up on the screen.

I want to talk. Whenever you’re ready.

You stared at his reply, the words blurring slightly as your emotions twisted in ways you couldn’t quite name. Relief, guilt, and the lingering ache of hurt all tangled together, leaving you frozen in place. You wanted to reply—to say something, anything—but no words came. How were you supposed to move forward when it felt like the ground beneath you wasn’t steady?

Setting your phone aside, you leaned back on the couch, closing your eyes as the exhaustion of the day pressed down on you. His words had been clear, open, and patient. But patience wasn’t what you needed from him right now. You needed effort. You needed proof that he saw what he’d done, that he understood how much he’d hurt you. And that he was willing to do something to fix it.

As the week dragged on, you buried yourself in work. The director’s intensity left no room for distraction, and every scene demanded more than the last. But even as you poured everything into your performance, Austin lingered in the back of your mind. You thought about the way he’d looked at you that weekend, the way his words had sliced through you like a blade.

It wasn’t fair—what he’d accused you of, how quickly he’d jumped to the worst possible conclusion. But the more you thought about it, the more a troubling realisation began to take shape. Austin wasn’t insecure because of you. He was insecure because of himself.

You’d always admired his charm—the way he could make anyone feel special, the way his confidence seemed unshakable. But now you wondered if that confidence had always been a mask. He’d never talked much about his struggles in the industry, but you knew they existed. The pressure to stay relevant, to be perfect, to constantly prove himself—it had to weigh on him. And maybe that weight had bled into your relationship, twisting his perspective until he saw threats where none existed.

It didn’t excuse what he’d done. Not by a long shot. But it gave you context, a glimpse into why he might have doubted you so deeply. And as much as it hurt to admit, part of you still wanted to find a way back to him.

The weekend came and went, the end of the shoot creeping closer with each exhausting day. You hadn’t responded to Austin’s last message, and the silence between you felt heavier with each passing moment. It wasn’t that you didn’t care—it was that you didn’t know where to begin.

One evening, as the sun dipped low on the horizon, you found yourself sitting on the balcony of your apartment, the city stretching out below you in a wash of golden light. Your phone rested in your hand, the message thread with Austin still open.

You took a deep breath, letting the cool evening air fill your lungs, and typed out another message. This time, it was longer, less cautious:

I’ve been thinking a lot about what happened. I know you’re sorry, and I know you meant what you said in your message. But I need to understand why you doubted me. Why you doubted us. I need to know that if we move forward, it won’t happen again. Because I can’t go through that twice, Austin. I can’t.

You hesitated for a moment, your thumb hovering over the send button. Then, with a shaky exhale, you pressed it. The message disappeared into the ether, leaving you staring at the screen, your heart pounding in your chest.

This time, his response didn’t come immediately. The minutes stretched into an hour, the silence gnawing at your resolve. You tried not to overthink it, telling yourself he needed time to process your words.

When your phone finally buzzed, the tension in your chest loosened, but only slightly. You opened his message, your eyes scanning the words.

You’re right. You deserve answers. Can I come see you? I want to explain everything. I need to.

You blinked, your mind racing. Having him here—face to face—felt overwhelming. But at the same time, it was what you needed too. You couldn’t do this over text. Not when there was so much at stake.

Your fingers moved quickly, typing out your reply before you could second-guess yourself.

Okay. Let me know when.

The moment the message sent, your stomach flipped. You didn’t know what he would say, or if it would be enough. But at least now, there was a chance to find out.

You’d known Austin would arrive that evening, but it didn’t stop the nerves from settling in your stomach throughout the day. He’d texted that morning, letting you know he’d leave around noon, and you’d spent every spare moment bracing yourself for the conversation ahead. Knowing didn’t make it easier—it only gave your mind more time to overthink.

The shoot felt endless, every scene dragging as the director pushed for perfection. You threw yourself into the work, but the hours ticked by slowly, each one pulling you closer to the moment you’d have to face Austin.

By the time you wrapped for the day, exhaustion clung to you, but it wasn’t just from the work. As you stepped out of the building, the late summer sun hung low in the sky, casting everything in golden light. You paused for a moment, drawing in a deep breath as you tried to steady yourself. This wasn’t going to be easy, but you’d both made it clear that talking was the only way forward.

When you arrived home, the quiet stillness of your apartment greeted you, a stark contrast to the turmoil in your chest. You set your bag down and wandered into the kitchen, trying to distract yourself with the small rituals of unwinding—filling a glass with water, rinsing out a mug that had been sitting on the counter since morning. But no matter how hard you tried to settle, the anticipation of Austin’s arrival gnawed at the edges of your focus.

It had been two weeks since you’d seen him. You didn’t know exactly when he’d get there, but the waiting felt endless. Every sound outside the window made your heart jump, and by the time you heard the knock on the door, your hands were trembling.

You opened it slowly, your breath catching when you saw him standing there. His hair was slightly disheveled, and his eyes were red-rimmed, like he hadn’t slept—or like he’d been crying. He stood there for a moment, just looking at you, his expression a mix of exhaustion, regret, and something else you couldn’t quite place.

You didn’t speak. Neither of you did. The silence hung heavy between you, until your tears spilled over, hot and unstoppable. That was all it took—Austin stepped forward, his arms wrapping around you almost instinctively, pulling you into a hug so tight it left you breathless. For a moment, you stayed stiff, unsure whether to let yourself give in, but the warmth of his embrace, the way his hands pressed into your back like he was holding on for dear life, finally broke through. Slowly, you melted into him, your face burying against his chest as the sobs you’d been holding back poured out.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, his voice cracking. “I’m so damn sorry.”

You couldn’t bring yourself to respond—not yet. You just stood there, wrapped in him, the warmth of his embrace cutting through the chill that had settled over you for weeks. It felt safe. It felt like home. And for a moment, you let yourself lean into it, your fingers clutching at the fabric of his shirt like you might lose him all over again if you let go.

He slid one hand up to gently cradle the back of your head, his fingers threading softly through your hair. He rested his chin on the top of your head, holding you close as if trying to steady both of you. You stayed like that, the quiet intimacy of the moment wrapping around you like a cocoon. Then he tilted his head, pressing a soft, lingering kiss to the crown of your head.

His hand stayed at the back of your head, his thumb brushing gently against your hairline, and his other arm tightened around your waist, keeping you impossibly close. You could feel his breath against your skin, shaky and warm, and the moment stretched between you, fragile but full. He tilted his head to look at you, his eyes searching yours with an intensity that made your chest tighten.

Before you could register what was happening, he leaned in, his lips brushing softly against yours. It was tentative at first, as though he were afraid to push too far. But there was a quiet urgency in the way his lips moved against yours, a deep longing that poured into the kiss. For a moment, you let yourself respond, your lips parting as you kissed him back. It felt like coming home, like warmth flooding into every frozen corner of your heart.

But then the weight of everything settled in, and you turned your head, stepping back just enough to break the contact. “No,” you said quietly, your voice trembling as you met his gaze. “We can’t just… go back to that. Not yet.”

Austin froze, his expression crumbling for a moment before he nodded, his hands falling to his sides. “You’re right,” he said softly, his voice laced with pain. “We need to talk.”

Austin stepped inside hesitantly, his hands shoved deep into his pockets as he glanced around the familiar space. You closed the door behind him, leaning against it for a moment to gather yourself. The weight of the past weeks sat heavy between you, the silence stretching like a thread waiting to snap.

You nodded toward the couch. “We should sit.”

He followed without a word, settling on the edge of the cushion with his elbows resting on his knees, his hands clasped tightly in front of him. You sat across from him, leaving enough space to remind yourself why you couldn’t just fold back into him, no matter how much you wanted to.

For a moment, neither of you spoke. Then he let out a shaky breath, running a hand through his hair. “I don’t even know where to start.”

“Try the beginning,” you said softly, your voice steady despite the storm swirling in your chest. “Why, Austin? Why did you think that about me?”

He winced, your words hitting like a physical blow. His shoulders sagged as he looked down at his hands. “It wasn’t you,” he said finally, his voice rough. “It was me. My own shit—my own insecurities. I let them take over.”

You frowned, searching his face. “What insecurities? You’ve never been like this before.”

He let out a bitter laugh, shaking his head. “I’ve always been like this. I’m just good at hiding it. You’ve always been so sure of yourself—so confident in who you are and what you want. It’s one of the things I love most about you. But me? I’ve spent so much of my career feeling like I’m one misstep away from losing everything. Like if I’m not perfect, it’ll all fall apart.”

You stared at him, his words sinking in.

“And when I saw those photos—when I saw you with someone who’s just as talented, just as driven—I let those insecurities take over. I let them convince me that I wasn’t enough. That maybe you’d realise it too.”

Your heart twisted at the raw honesty in his voice. “Austin…”

He shook his head, cutting you off. “I know that’s not an excuse. What I said to you—it was cruel and unfair. I didn’t trust you, and that’s on me. Not on you. You’ve never given me a reason to doubt you, and I hate that I made you feel like you had to defend yourself.”

Tears pricked at your eyes, but you blinked them back, refusing to let them fall.

“I need you to know that I see how badly I messed up." he said quickly, his voice cracking. "And I’ll do whatever it takes to earn your trust back.”

You swallowed hard, the weight of his words pressing against the walls you’d built since that weekend. “Austin… I appreciate what you’re saying. And I believe you mean it. But trust isn’t something you can just fix overnight. It takes time.”

“I know,” he said quickly, his voice firm. “And I’m not asking for you to forgive me right now. I just want a chance to show you that I can be better. That I can be the man you deserve.”

The sincerity in his voice made your chest ache, but the hurt from that weekend still lingered. “You accused me of something I would never do. Do you know how much that hurt?”

He looked up then, his eyes red and glassy. “I do,” he whispered. “And I hate myself for it. You trusted me, and I broke that. I don’t know how to make it right, but I’ll spend the rest of my life trying if you’ll let me.”

You stared at him, the weight of his words settling over you. There was no doubt in your mind that he meant them—that he was genuinely sorry. But the hurt was still there, a wound that hadn’t yet healed.

“I want to believe you,” you admitted, your voice breaking slightly. “But I’m scared, Austin. What if this happens again?”

“It won’t,” he said, his voice cracking with emotion. “I promise you, it won’t. I can’t lose you. I don’t want to lose us.”

“You need to understand something,” you said, your voice steady but firm. “I chose you. Every day, I choose you. And if we’re going to move forward, you need to trust that—completely. Because I can’t keep doing this if you don’t.”

He nodded, his expression resolute. “I do trust you. I’ll prove it to you, I swear. Just… tell me what I need to do.”

You shook your head, a soft, bittersweet smile tugging at your lips. “It’s not about what you can do, Austin. It’s about what you believe. Do you believe in us? Do you believe I’m in this with you, no matter how hard it gets?”

“Yes,” he said without hesitation, his voice steady despite the tears shining in his eyes. “I believe in us. And I’ll never doubt you again.”

The sincerity in his words broke something inside you, the last wall you’d built around your heart crumbling under the weight of his apology. You leaned forward, your hands trembling as they found his. “You really mean that?”

“Every word,” he said softly, his hand lifting to brush a strand of hair behind your ear. “I love you. More than anything. Please… don’t give up on me. On us.”

A tear slipped down your cheek, and he reached up to wipe it away, his touch gentle. “I love you too,” you whispered, the words trembling on your lips. “But this isn’t going to be easy.”

His fingers tightened around yours, his breath hitching as relief washed over his face. “I don’t care how hard it is,” he said, his voice unwavering. “As long as it’s with you.” he said, his voice thick with emotion.

For the first time in weeks, the weight in your chest began to lift. It wouldn’t be easy—he’d hurt you in ways that would take time to heal. But as you looked at him, his face open and raw with emotion, you knew one thing for certain: he was worth it. You were worth it. And together, you’d find your way back.

The rest of the evening passed in gentle conversation, the kind that reminded you why you’d fallen in love with Austin in the first place. There were no grand declarations, no over-the-top promises, just quiet honesty and mutual understanding. The two of you sat close on the couch, your hands brushing occasionally, until the night deepened and the quiet hum of the city outside became the only sound in the room.

When you finally stood to clear away the empty mugs and plates from your impromptu dinner, Austin followed, taking the dishes from your hands and placing them in the sink. His presence was steady, grounding, and when you turned to face him, his gaze softened, his hand brushing against your cheek.

“Do you want me to go?” he asked quietly, though there was a hesitation in his voice, as if the thought of leaving you again was something he couldn’t bear.

You shook your head, the weight of the day finally slipping from your shoulders. “Stay,” you murmured, your voice soft but resolute. “I want you to stay.”

Relief flickered across his face, and he leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. “Okay,” he whispered. “I’ll stay.”

The rest of the night passed in quiet intimacy—not the charged kind that had defined so much of your relationship before, but something softer. He held you close on the couch, your head resting on his chest as his fingers traced lazy patterns against your back. For the first time in weeks, you felt like you could breathe, the tension between you slowly unraveling with each steady beat of his heart.

By the time you both moved to the bedroom, the exhaustion of the past few weeks caught up with you. Austin pulled you close under the covers, his arms wrapped securely around you as if to shield you from the weight of everything that had happened. His lips brushed against your hair, and you felt his breath hitch as he whispered, “I love you.”

You didn’t respond with words—there was no need. Instead, you reached for his hand, lacing your fingers through his as sleep began to pull you under. For the first time in weeks, the ache in your chest felt manageable, the steady warmth of his presence a quiet reminder that you were moving forward together.

By the time morning came, the warmth of Austin’s presence lingered like a quiet reassurance, even as he kissed your temple softly and promised to be waiting when you got home. The day on set was as hectic as ever, a blur of lines, takes, and the ever-present hum of final-week chaos, but the thought of him waiting for you brought a grounding sense of calm.

When you finally stepped through the door that evening, the first thing you noticed was the soft glow of candlelight. Your living room, usually cluttered with the remnants of long workdays, had been transformed. A simple dinner for two sat on the small table by the window—pasta, wine, and a plate of your favourite garlic bread. Austin stood near the table, his hands in his pockets, looking almost shy.

“Hey,” he said softly, his lips curving into a tentative smile.

You froze, the day’s exhaustion melting under the warmth of the scene. “What’s all this?”

He rubbed the back of his neck, a little self-conscious. “I know we’re not supposed to just jump back to normal, but I wanted to do something for you. To say thank you—for giving us another chance.”

Your chest tightened, but this time, it wasn’t with pain. It was the kind of emotion that made you want to cry and laugh all at once. “Austin…”

“I know it’s not much,” he interrupted, stepping closer. “But I’ve been thinking about what you said—about choosing each other every day. I want to start showing you that. Not just in big ways, but in the little ones too.”

You swallowed hard, the lump in your throat making it difficult to speak. “You didn’t have to do all this.”

“I wanted to.” His voice was steady, but his eyes were vulnerable, like he was waiting for you to tell him if he’d gotten it right. “Because you deserve to be reminded how much you mean to me. Every day.”

The words landed like a balm on the raw edges of your heart. Slowly, you stepped toward him, your fingers brushing against his. “You’re doing it, Austin. You’re proving it.”

His relief was almost palpable, the tension in his shoulders easing as he smiled. “Good. Because I’m not going anywhere.”

Dinner was quiet, intimate, filled with soft laughter and the kind of conversation that came naturally between the two of you. It wasn’t perfect—not yet. But it felt like a step forward, like you were slowly finding your way back to the connection that had always been there.

Later, as you sat on the couch with Austin’s arm draped around your shoulders, he pressed a kiss to your temple. “I’ve been thinking about something.”

“What’s that?” you asked, your head resting against his chest.

“You’re almost wrapped here, right?” His voice was careful, but hopeful.

“Yeah.”

“I thought… maybe we could take a trip. Just the two of us. Somewhere quiet, where we can spend time together without distractions.”

You tilted your head to look up at him, surprised. “You’d want to do that?”

He smiled, his fingers brushing against your cheek. “I want to go wherever you are.”

The simplicity of the statement made your heart swell, and for the first time in weeks, the ache in your chest was replaced with something lighter. It wouldn’t be easy. But as you looked into Austin’s eyes, you knew you were both ready to fight for what you had.

“I’d like that,” you said softly.

And when he leaned down to kiss you, it felt like the start of something new—fragile but full of hope, with the promise of better days ahead.