#it got me through a lot of shit
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i love rewarding Starstruck Odyssey. Barry’s introduction alone, see ya in the stars, Loose Duke, right on, the plinth, Aurora Nebbins, the turtle infestation, operation slippery puppet, i could go on
this show has me giddy and stimming like no other piece of media (other than a few other special interests). this show brings me so much genuine joy that i cannot contain myself— i just want everyone to love this show as much as i do
#d20#dimension 20#a starstruck odyssey#fuck man i get emotional from how much i LOVE this show#it got me through a lot of shit#every episode was such an Escape#i want them to make another season soooooo bad
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one of my favorite things about zedaph is that on a server full of people that find strange and oft-overlooked minecraft mechanics or rare events and then see just how far they can push them in the name of spectacle or efficiency or world-breaking, zed is over here finding these mechanics in order to do the weirdest things he can think of in as entertaining a manner as possible
like i 100% have faith in zedaph's theoretical ability to be just as efficient or spectacular or world-breaking. if he wanted to do that stuff, i trust that he absolutely could. but thats so far from being his priority. instead, hes going to spend around a week of irl time focused entirely on eventually having the good luck to spawn in something insanely rare so that he can convert it into something even rarer, the result of which being something that 99% of the server reacts with complete and utter shock that it even exists in the first place, just because its zany and funny and he wanted to. and i love that
#zedaph#hermitcraft#genuinely i adore the clucky few project im not even done watching the episode and i had to pause and make this post#i saw impulses video first and went ''that HAS to be some sort of datapack or something-''#only to immediately go ''no. no it cant be. because this is zed#and its practically a trademark of his to push the limits of the game as far as possible in the direction least expected#not for the purpose of efficiency or spectacle or intimidation or whatever like some players who push limits#but purely for the purpose of making something so funny you cant help but laugh at whats going on#and maybe being a bit impressed that he ever thought of it in the first place''#at which point i went ''holy shit. since its zed doing this. somehow he ACTUALLY got a villager on a chicken. with no cheats. thats INSANE'#i was relieved when i checked my subscriptions to see what the next video i had to watch was and saw he would be next in line#bc if i had to sit through 19 other hermits videos before i could watch his and find out what the fuck he was doing i would have been so sa#sidenote but i feel like a zed video where he interacts with this many other people all in the same video is so rare#idk i didnt watch season 9 and i know he started collabing a lot more w/ other hermits then#so maybe its not nearly as rare these days#but like the last one that *i* saw where he interacted with this many people at once was towards the end of season 8#when all the people he experimented on earlier in the season came back to experiment on him#and like i would like zeds videos with or without the collabs. but its a lot of fun to see him interact with people#so its very cool to me when he does it with a lot of people all in the same video
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FUCK THEM UPPPPPPP TILL OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDD
The visuals of Till's splash art (in my humble opinion, the best one so far) is STUNNING. AND very interesting.
For Till specifically to cover All-In is an interesting message to give off, All-In is a song about freedom. A type of freedom that allows you to live confidently and freely, creating whatever type of world you want, the stage is yours, so make what you want of it. living confidently in YOUR OWN SKIN. And living freely "cause you only got one life to live"
Freedom is something Till fights for relentlessly, and confidence is a bravado, as by far the most uncontrolled and tested person in the cast, he still fights for his boundaries and self-expression even when he's punished, molded into something he's not, or beaten into obedience, tested far past the limit; he never loses his bite. A wild dog can never be tamed.
This is the cover that follows what becomes of Till after round 6, and still, in Till's all-in, he sounds so raw, pained, energized, and passionate desperation is evident. It's a contrast from HyunA's celebratory cheers and upbeat mood because Till isn't celebrating the idea of freedom; he's angrily proving to everyone, especially the aliens, that he isn't backing down yet and he'll still keep fighting and that he can fight for his own freedom.
Till's cover of All-in is truly the most powerful depiction of Till's fighting spirit, after everything he's gone through, the pain, the grief. It's all in his voice and the way he sings he's pained the entire time he sings and he's aggressive because the fire of his spirit is lit once again. He's going "all-in" so to speak and expressing himself.
The tape around his neck--
It's a contrast to HyunA who doesn't mind showing her brand, even proudly showing it off as a form of reclaiming her individualism.
Till is different. Because being reminded that he is and was once a pet is not something he would want to remember about himself, he will always bitterly try to distance himself from that fact in any way he can, HyunA feels free from the system when she can own it, but when Till sees his branding, he'll still always feel that collar. It's a testament to his self-deprecation, as long as the evidence of his past is present, and he still feels all the pain the aliens inflicted on him, It'd be presumptuous to think he'd ever feel like he can relate and fit in with the other "fools" who are so free.
It'd be presumptuous to think he'd ever feel free. That's what the aliens wanted, right?
Another interesting part of this is that the name 'All-in" is actually a real-life poker reference, to go "all-in" in poker is to voluntarily bet all of your remaining chips, there is nothing else you can do but hope for the best after that point (and hope you win).
When HyunA sings All-in, she deceives you into thinking she has the upper hand or good hand, and that she will win. When Till sings it, he's giving it all away recklessly, he's showing all he has. Basically, him saying fuck it. he doesn't know if he'll win or not but says, "Let's go all-in and risk it all anyways" Even if internally he knows that this is stupid and risky, this is his foolish rebellion.
At this point he has nothing to lose and nothing to gain, it's his final stand as he lets his heart out not for the crowd, but for the family he lost, himself, a form of self-expression. He will be so nervous, so aggrieved but it's the freest he will ever feel on that stage.
The color symbolism also drives me CRAZY.
For his other two splash art, he's been represented with a color close enough to teal. In both songs, he's open when he sings and fully serene. Teal is a generally calming color, and it's not too evocative. It's more emotional (and has it's own reservations)
And then, we have green, which is a general symbol of growth, new beginnings, and freshness. After all, Till has been through all-in is a sign of his growth. And a new era of his life, or in other words a sudden tonal shift from his depressive state in round 6.
And for my favorite (it's not.) part! the head shot, (interesting how his has nearly the biggest impact out of them all.)
A bit of a theory.
It's a bit similar to one particular art of him, he has a little shape that's almost akin to impact from a gunshot near the same area.
So, I think this is tell-tale symbolism for a future injury, but the gun portrayed is a bubble gun. I believe it is symbolism for the wound being non-fatal, so even if Till loses and gets shot, he'll survive, fundamentally changed. and will probably join the rebellion, too.
/side note
The heartbeats in Till's version of all-in are faster and louder than HyunA's version, similar to CURE.
#trust me im qmeng#till all-in cover got me tweaking out big time do you UNDERSTAND how long i waited for this#ever since the teaser#GUHHH#IT'S BEEN IN MY MIND SINCE#i am never sleeping again fuck this#am i crazy about till alien stage no of course not#haahahah#if this sounds like a big rant i just want till to live bear with me WAIT NO COME BACK#im going so crazy about this its not even funny its so serious#this shit is so good though#the growls#and everything#urgh#till alien stage#alien stage#alien stage till#alnst#alnst till#i just really like how this song isnt all that much lika hyunA's in terms of tone#it has the same beat but when you look deeper into it. this is more dark than youd expect#to me it's not a cheerful take on All-IN it's a darker one through the perspective of someone on their final rope aggressively proving he's#not broken#this is also him grieving#everything about this scares me but i have a lot of faith in him.#(praise akugetsu I couldn't thank you enough)#alien stage round 6#alien stage round 7#alien stage analysis
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Rewatching Gravity Falls for the who-knows-what thousandth time and I. I have. A thought.
The website that alluded to (not confirmed, as far as I know) of a season three. And this is a big deal.
Since it's pretty much a given that if this does end up happening, Bill WILL be a part of it and they'll need some way to stop him. So I figured, since Mabel destroyed the memory eraser and Bill would probably not have fallen for the same thing twice anyway, the obvious choice is the zodiac wheel again.
BUT.
What if instead of it all being the same person in the same spot as they were in the finale, why not have their positions switched around a bit. The obvious examples being Wendy as pine tree since she and Dipper swapped hats and Soos since he took over as owner of the Mystery Shack and also Stan's iconic hat. I *may* try to plot out who would go where and share the rest of that stuff on here, but I think this idea would work really well when you contextualize it with the concept that even though time has passed and people have grown and changed and are no longer the same as they once were, they're still just as strong and still care for each other and their bond will never be broken.
Much like the people who loved this show.
#gravity falls#season 3?#the book of bill#gravity falls zodiac#this concept drove me insane btw#gravity falls stanford#stanford pines#stanley pines#dipper pines#gravity falls dipper#dipper and mabel#mabel pines#wendy corduroy#soos ramirez#i got into the show relatively late back in like#2018 maybe???#and even though i was only the twin's age then i was still going through Some Shit™ and this was my comfort show for so long. still is.#so the fact i get to see it (hopefully) come back like this means so much to me.#even if it doesn't end up happening im still so glad to see the fandom thriving again like this. i love it. i live for it :)#i love you all sm mwa#wouldn't surprise me if that was already the plan tbh. it is an incredibly detail oriented show with a lot of emotional depth.#stay curious.
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Bow problems (+ other nonsense)
#saroart#dead cells#the beheaded#the collector#they just wanted a nice bow#the collector can do a lot of stuff but i don't think he's good at bows#i was drawing a lot of antagonistic beheaded/collector content so i wanted to do some more cute junk#okay a lot is an exaggeration. still#need some guys being buds content sometimes#weird monster guys doing domestic shit is my favorite genre#i got a bonus at holiday time and im tempted to buy a tablet i can use portably#esp because holy fuck i don't know how to draw anymore#but also i just spent stupid money on tickets to live podcasts so i probably shouldn't#unrelated im very upset today because fucking UPS didn't ring my goddamn doorbell and so “”missed me“” and couldnt deliver my specialty meds#why must i get my meds through ups#because the us is a hellscape and i am beholden to my health insurance company#ups who has literally never managed to get a package to this apartment#tbh im stressed as fuck about having to go through this every goddamn month
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Do you guys wanna see a thing I tried writing? It's pretty unfinished and I don't think I will finish it but it was fun to play with and it might be okay as a lil snippet! I also have like no energy for drawing right now but I wanna post something lol
(The context is Cross and Killer are alone on a mission in some unspecified au when Killer goes stage 3)
“Killer?”
Cross looked over when he got no response, half expecting Killer to have wandered off in some direction as he did on these longer jobs. His loyalty to Nightmare was often at war with his attention span in the field, and you could expect a job to take longer if it was anywhere a cat was liable to appear.
What he didn’t expect was to catch sight of Killer’s wildly fluctuating soul glinting in the reflection of the knife that was coming right for him.
Cross managed to lunge back just in time for the knife to arc downwards into the snow in his place. Its wielder slowly turned his head, tracking the path to where Cross was now. His empty eye sockets gushed with more ooze than usual, stare somehow colder than the ice he was now shaking from his blade.
“Killer…” Cross began, trying to keep his tone steady and authoritative like a warning. He was ever hopeful that this was some stupid game Killer was playing out of boredom, but that hope died as he watched some of the black goop begin to drip out of the corner of the other’s mouth.
That only happened when he went stage 3.
Shit.
Cross felt his soul drop. He’d never dealt with Killer like this alone, usually they handled him as a team if Nightmare wasn’t there to take over. In the time it would take him to look down at his phone to call for help there would probably be a knife in his head.
This was fine. He could handle it. He always had more training and stamina than Killer anyway, he just had to play keepaway with his life long enough to go home with it.
Killer teleported in front of him, something that caught Cross off guard. In his right mind, Killer almost never seemed to use his magic in fights unless he wanted to fuck around with the other.
[Put the fight part here idk pretend there was a really cool fight, it was so cool, you loved it]
Cross felt his soul drop again, but this time the rest of his body followed. Killer was using his gravity magic to hold him to the ground, and was shambling towards him ready to finish things. Cross struggled for a moment to see if he could fight his way out of the magic’s hold, but to no avail. He was pinned as his assailant now stood threateningly over him, knife raised. In a flash of desperation, he reached out both hands and grabbed Killer’s ankles, quickly moving his head to one side as a bone attack pierced up out of the snow and struck the other in the jaw.
It wasn’t his strongest attack, but it was enough to knock Killer backwards and stun him. As Cross felt his soul being released from the other’s magic, he quickly scrambled forward and sat on Killer’s chest as he lay sprawled out in the snow, pinning his arms down on either side of his head as he began to come back around. His face was leaking so much determination from every crevice that at that point it was hard to make out an expression under it all, but Cross could tell he was frustrated as he felt the rumble of bone attacks beginning to rise up out of the snow around them.
He followed suit, carefully forming a line of his own bone attacks closely around them to act as a barrier. He could feel Killer’s attacks bouncing off of his, each hit more desperate and frantic than the last like an animal clawing at the sides of its cage. He felt some magic encircling his soul again, but this time trying to raise him up rather than push him down. It was weaker than before, whether because Killer’s attention was split with still launching bone attacks or because he was beginning to tire out, but Cross managed to fight against it and stay put.
“Killer!” he barked, leaning over the other’s face. “That’s enough. You’re not going anywhere until you pull yourself together!”
The gravity magic seemed to cease at his shout, so Cross continued in the fervent hope that he was getting through to him.
“We’ll stay here all night if that’s what it takes, but I’m reporting back to Nightmare when this is over and I’m not leaving without you! Do you hear me?! I don’t care if I have to bring you back hogtied over my shoulder, I’m not gonna hurt you and I’m not gonna let you kill me!”
He didn’t realise he’d been shouting until the clinking and scraping of bone attacks had slowed and stopped altogether, and it was just the sound of his promise echoing off the bones and snow surrounding them.
And the strange gurgling sound coming from below him.
He opened his eyes again in confusion and stared down at the skeleton weakly fighting against his grasp, determination pooling and soaking into the snow from every gap in his skull. It took a second longer than he’d like to admit for Cross to realise that sound was Killer choking on it.
His bone attacks shrunk back into the ground and he shot backwards, landing ungracefully on his backside with a little curse. He hurried to pull Killer up and help him lean forward, swatting his back as he retched and spat the toxic goop up onto the ground where they’d just fought.
It was never an elegant dismount from these things, they’d found there was just no dignified way to get out a ribcage worth of black ooze. After a minute of heaving and gasping, Killer finally got a hold of himself and started glancing frantically around.
“Where’s Dust??” he managed to choke out with the urgency of a parent who’d lost their child. It always seemed to be the first thing on his mind when he came to from one of these episodes, Cross was never really sure why since any other time it seemed like they hated each other.
“He’s at home,” Cross assured, pressing one hand to Killer’s spine for support. “It’s just us, we were on a mission.”
He could see now that Killer’s soul had calmed down from the pulsating mass of spikes it was a few minutes ago and become somewhat soul shaped, still twitching nervously but a far calmer sight than before. That was a good sign that the attack was over. He wondered how much control Killer had over it, since he’d definitely seen it turn that way without having to go through a fight to the death first, but it was rare.
Cross flinched as he felt Killer grab him again, though this time instead of kicking him in the ribs he simply held on for dear life. That was another clear sign, after he was done puking up whatever goop had built up he usually cried for a while.
It was odd, especially the first few times, to see someone who always seemed so disconnected and unphased have a sobbing breakdown after trying to kill you.
“Hey,” Cross said, voice hushed as he wrapped his arms around the skeleton trembling in his lap. “It’s okay… you’re okay…”
Cross had never been the best at comforting words, but he knew Killer just needed someone to cling to while he got a hold of himself, and he was content to be that for a little while. Especially after being thrown around so much, his aching bones were more than happy for an excuse to sit in the snow for a bit. He could feel Killer’s soul being pressed against his chest as he wept silently into Cross’s shoulder, the fear and regret seemed to be radiating from it like smoke from a smothered flame.
He wondered idly if this was what Nightmare could feel all the time.
...
He also wondered just how hard it was going to be to get these black stains out of his jacket again once he pried Killer's face off of it.
#UTDR#UTMV#Cross Sans#Killer Sans#I don't think I need a writing tag cause I don't think I'll do it a whole lot#I also don't have a name for this or anything it was just kinda for funsies#I think the original plan was to have it be like. seeing the whole process of Killer's stage 3 attacks through Cross#And like my hcs on how it goes#And there's still some of that in there like him having extra goop during it and being super guilty and emotional afterwards#But also I got lazy with the rest lol#I don't think it's too bad but writing still feels weird to me cause I don't do it that much#Working on a different writy boy that I'm passionate about though so maybe hopefully there will be more! :D#Killer and Cross won't be in it though. sorry lads#Oh shit I need to wash my hair for work actually okay see you in a bit!!
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As someone who is a survivor of many abuses Astarion made me feel cathartic and seen. He became one of my ultimate comfort characters because I see myself through him. He made me realized what I've felt was valid and I shouldn't blame myself for going through a lot of trauma because it wasn't my fault. He made me really inspired on how to handle my own trauma.
Stephen Rooney and Neil Newbon did an incredible job for making this character feel alive and relatable to anyone who experienced the same.
#astarion#astarion ancunin#baldur's gate#baldur's gate 3#bg3#larian studios#stephen rooney#neil newbon#pat rambles#i was touched by neil's speech at golden joysticks awards :') they deserve all the awards that they got#i've been through a lot of shit this year and bg3 made me feel alive again
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(x)
(this is a pls stop blaming juliette lewis for nat’s arc and death post <3)
#regardless of whether you loved the death or hated it YOU CAN STOP BLAMING JULIETTE NOW OKAY??#like even people who liked it overall but had qualms the party line is well I’m sure it was juliette leaving early so that’s why xyz#no! it was not! this was the plan <3 and idc if you hate love or nothing it I just think like making these excuses for things is weird#like do I get why some people might have assumed juliette might have left early sure yes but also idk like PEOPLE ARE FALLIBLE#showrunners are fallible! and that’s OKAY! they’re PEOPLE! and you CAN love every choice they make but jumping through hoops#to find *reasons* for the things you didn’t like is so interesting to me cause like…it’s okay!!! they can do a little thing you didn’t love!#you can even SAY you didn’t love it if you want and that’s okay too! or not! but stop blaming juliette lewis for whatever you didn’t like#also the rest of the article is an interesting read!#now I’ll do conjecture and tell you it is CONJECTURE for sure okay disclaimer#but after reading this article I think it is even possible Juliette’s anger with nats arc was partially BECAUSE she knew her death was soon#like maybe! who knows! not us! but I don’t even know how I became this hardcore juliette defender bc honestly I dosagree w her on a lot lol#but like I’ve seen people say oh she’s difficult and she made them do this and she’s a problem and she always does this#HELLO??? stop blaming women for shit baselessly??#(if you casually wondered if maybe she wanted to leave and didn’t say it like it was fact or use it to pin blame on her for stuff…#…this isn’t directed at you)#but some people got VICIOUS#juliette lewis#natalie scatorccio#yellowjackets
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@naffeclipse cat trapped him yet again (if he won't rest I'll make him)
*self insert Aster is not a girl (he/ she)
og detective au by sunnys-aesthetic!
#post let luce#dcamv#bloodstain fool#naffeclipse#my art#menace4menace#do i draw him doing paperwork a lot? yes bc i need cozy domestic shit for these scenarios to work#plus bounty hunting has gotta be a lot of boring paper research too#cant just be cool hunting bounties through the city#n mans has a bit of an issue stretching himself too thin#also i wanna be carried to bed maybe#god i. i need to be horizontal now oops fhdjs#glad i got these out but the heat is killing me and i hate it#wheres my bf to carry me smh smh
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Batman #149 by chip zdarsky is mostly unremarkable, but I'm really fascinated by how it makes a great case for 'good' endings not saving 'bad' stories*. Because there's a lot of interesting concepts in this issue (bruce having to deal with his rapidly aging and decaying clone making him think about his own life, re-establishing a 'nest' so to speak for his family after pushing them away, etc) but bc of the OOC slog that came before it, almost every moment w/ the batfamily comes off as unearned and disingenuous imo.
Like, everything with Damian is the perfect example in this. Because in isolation it's...fine. admittedly it's a missed opportunity to not go deeper into how Damian would feel about a clone of his dad who tried to kill considering Damian's relationships with clones of himself (the heretic rejects and respawn) or with former enemies who wanted him dead but who were manipulated and/or brainwashed (like suren and maya).
Zdarsky doesn't go into any of this but you could maybe excuse it as the issue not being about Damian. However, coupled with the previous bizarre characterizations of Damian in 147 and 148, it ends up not being fine- instead it starts to feel...icky how Damian (who, despite often being drawn and written as white, will never have his connection to the non-white al ghuls forgotten and will always be effected by racism even when not portrayed as a poc) is constantly written as overly violent, uncaring and narrow minded in this run. Coupled w/ trying to recanonize the morrison origin for Damian it's like. OH this is badly written and laden with subtle bigotry, sick**
That's me going into detail on it with Damian but it's applicable to other things in this issue- the way Cass, Steph and Duke have all been ignored or turned into jobbers makes their inclusion in the 'family' here feel hollow instead of satisfying. Bruce proclaiming that Zur was still a part of him and he needs to accept responsibility for his actions (when it means taking in clone son) wrings hollow when just last issue zdarsky was bending over backwards to separate Bruce and Zur bc otherwise the Jason thing would get really awkward. Ends are achieved through means that feel hollow or strange. I'm at my destination but damn why'd the bus have to do all that???
I only really have opinions on this latest arc of zdarskys Batman bc it's the one I've read the closest (bc I'm a hater, masochist and avid follower of even the bad damian storylines) but it's not saying great things.
Bc zdarsky can do one thing good in this book, and it's write Bruce and Tim. And yet this entire story, whether of his own volition or editorial mandate, includes other characters who aren't Bruce and Tim, the fabric starts to unravel in very telling ways.
(p.s, I think pennyworth manor is an interesting idea but I feel like in execution it's just gonna be 'bruce living in a house haunted by the memory of the people he couldn't save' but with a different dead guy this time. Illusion of change and whatnot)
*whether or not the ending is good is up to you ofc, as is your opinion on the proceeding arc! I saw some ppl complain that the ending was too "WFA" for them, which I get even if I dont think it'll literally be the same premise. If anything it's probably a lead into the new tec run. Likewise many ppl who aren't in the weeds of Damian and Jason characterization liked the previous arc! But I have my opinions and rest my case before the bench
**disclaimer, I'm white and portrayals of bigotry in comics are complicated and subjective, but I am basing my point here off what other poc comic fans on socmed have been saying about 149. Also the "sick" is sarcasm incase that wasn't obvious
#ramblings of a lunatic#dc comics#dc#damian wayne#bruce wayne#uhhh. not gonna tag the others i dont have time#batman#idk if the zdarsky series has its own tag#anyway yeah. i saw some interesting discussions surrounding 149 and it got me thinking#the experience of reading the issue is inoffensive until i remember how we got here and then all of a sudden i start to feel downright evil#the bruce/zur separation thing pisses me off so bad. MOTHERFUCKER YOU WERE JUST SAYING LAST ISSUE THAT NONE OF IT WAS HIM#and maybe we were meant to agree w Bruce and not Jason in that issue but if that's the case. piss poor job demonstrating it#Bruce never really faces like. interpersonal consequences from the family that last beyond an issue#which is WILD considering the shit he pulled back before they knew he was having a menty b (mental breakdown for those who dont know)#the damian thing is just like. its such clear author bias in ways both lowkey funny and also. not funny. at all#i know a lot of ppl on here didnt vibe w/ batman and robin by joshua williamson but like#i cannot stress enough how he was one of the ONLY ppl in damians corner and now hes leaving that series#he says he approves of the new creative teams assigned but also they're his coworkers. so i dont trust SHIT until its in my hands#anyway one day I'll give a more good faith reading of zdarskys Batman and i do wanna read his daredevil some day#but as it stands he suffers from terminal ''has seemingly never read a comic not abt my special white boys and refuses to try''#which means everyone is going to have to suffer through my haterism#also sorry for no images. i really want to but i just don't have the wherewithal to do alt text rn
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Compromise. Im not going to actually WRITE meta but i AM going to lay out a list of things I'm thinking about broadly and thematically and would probably write meta about if i were properly caught up and informed, but is instead influenced much more by early campaign F.C.G:
**edit: no this is kind of meta again. sorry.
- F.C.G grappling with the questions of: being made. purpose. whether it matters if you find your own purpose if you were made with one in mind and you "choose" something else. Can you actually? Does it matter? Is your choice a choice at all?
- Wanting so badly to heal people and help people and the unique fear of waking up and seeing damage done by your own hands. To the same people you wanted so badly to help. You extend healing and you offer comfort or kind words but all the while, in your core is a tightness. In your core is a danger. How much good do you need to do to get the blood off your chassis? Can you, at all?
- Metal body. Metal hands. A little wheel. You were a turtle once and it felt so wondrous to breathe. You try out tongues or little wooden legs or whatnot but it always comes back to an inorganic metal body and empty insides no matter if youre filling them with liquids or secret goods to smuggle or pastries (faux warmth). Maybe everything like wooden legs dangling off a metal body. All for show.
- A coin in hand. Looking for a higher power. Thinking about choice. Deferring choices.
- You love your friends, so much. You love people being kind to each other. You love your boyfriend and their wonderful way of thinking. You love being alive. Even when you doubted you were at all. You love, truly and deeply.
- Ashton raging at F.C.G for being a martyr. For aching for a good enough reason to get himself hurt or killed or blown up. Ashton looking at F.C.G knowing they're all messed up inside and trying so hard to stop them from letting it destroy them.
- Ashton always worried about how they're always trying to find a big enough cause, a good enough reason.
And so with those things, I remembered about F.C.G:
- F.C.G looking at their friends all down. Ashton laid out unmoving.
- F.C.G with something awful in their core. Ready to spill out. The same something awful they were always worried about. They were always aware of.
- F.C.G always looking for that reason. For that bigger and better cause.
- F.C.G always feeling like they didn't understand purpose, like it was so. unattainable- finally, briefly, startlingly- sure. Finally free of doubt. Their friends down and something awful and destructive in their core and one last thing they can do to maybe make things worth it, and the ability to choose it. They were made for something. They chose what to do with it.
- F.C.G finding that reason. F.C.G making that call. F.C.G thinking it was worth it.
- I think because of him, they succeeded. They won. That is certain.
- I think. "Worth it". Is always a subjective thing.
- I think. A self sacrifice is never just one person giving everything up. A self sacrifice, unfortunately- is one person making a choice.
And everyone else caught, in the blast radius.
#critical role#cr spoilers#cr liveblogging#c3e91#fcg#AH SHIT. THIS IS META AGAIN. FUCK#sorry. i. god. look. you all knew what you signed up for when you followed me right. im sorry#look im certain i missed 40 episodes of character dev i just need to word vomit where my brain is at given my context#character meta#spar speaks#fcg meta#i. GUESS. if other people want to take any portion of it and chew through it in a more informed way please be my gues#id love to. know things#ive got a lot of emotions to parse and im also about to make a ton of slightly terrible jokes if im not writing meta leggo#my meta
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reading Krakoa era out of order bc reading lists online make it confusing and my local library only has so many books
just as god intended right on my friend you're doing everything right and don't let anyone tell you otherwise
#snap chats#the key to reading comic books isnt to read them in order or even all of them just the ones you like#until eventually someone tells you some wack as hell fact about an issue and then you go read that one#many such cases why do you think i picked up onslaught revelation. cause that fucker is back#why do you think i picked up wolverine number 3 because my beautiful wife is hammered for two pages in it#brother was just talkin to me casually bout onslaught one day and i was like NO FUCKIN WAY thats how you do it !!!!!!!!#like the first krakoa story i read technically was resurrection of magneto followed by the trial of magneto#clearly we see i had an agenda vjALKJKLAJ BUT STILL#it was STILL a really good run ... i could piece together enough of the background before then and really enjoyed it on its own#with that said tho it was very cool/funny to see crumbs Of trial of magneto in way of x#BUT NOW I HAVE LEGION OF X HAHAAAA i cant wait to properly sit and read it ..... after i get through my New Mutants issues ....#i got those a while ago but i kept putting off reading them ... oops ..... i read the first one at least#i was gonna say something but i forgot. oh no i didnt i remember thats what i love about comic books#because theres So Many and so many timelines and stories it invites a lot of community interaction#just to be like 'oh hey did you know This happened in This issue you should check it out'. thats beautiful#even if. its to talk about utter dog shit like she lies with angels BUT STILL ITS COMMUNITY !!!!! we can be lovers AND haters together <3#its why i love getting physical comics too. i mean i dont have friends or people who visit me LOL#but i like the idea of bringing up what i have and letting people borrow it. community ......
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day 22: bridge
"come on."
"i am not doing that."
"caitlyn, just trust me."
"i do. i'm still not- i won't be putting that in my mouth."
"you put worse in your mouth last night when i-"
caitlyn smacks her girlfriend's shoulder and vi breaks into laughter.
"i'm serious, cait," she pleads, still grinning like she's not. "just give it a shot. if you don't like it, i'll eat the rest! it won't go to waste!"
"i'm not worried about it going to waste, vi, i'm worried about-" she lowers her voice, looking to the nearby workers, who are starting to stare. "about food poisoning, or getting some sort of disease."
vi sighs just a little too loudly, swirling the- stew? sauce?- around in her bowl. "can't believe our own sheriff would say such a horrible thing-"
"oh, come off it."
"about zaunite cuisine, really just so-"
"vi, stop."
"rude of her-"
"alright!" caitlyn relents. "alright, i'll try it."
vi's making a face like a puppy who's overheard the word "treat". "really?"
"yes. fine. just- give it here."
vi passes the bowl over. caitlyn's not particularly squeamish, but- well, she's always been of the opinion that her food should never move of its own accord, and the chunks of meat definitely seem a little too... squirmy.
as it stood, though, there was no other option, and so she turns to another longstanding principle: her father had once taught her that if one has to eat a live frog, one should do it first thing in the morning, because nothing worse could possibly happen to them for the rest of the day. it's important to her as both the sheriff and as vi's girlfriend that she experience zaunite culture, and food is part of culture, and so therefore, this is a necessary step.
before she can think more about it, caitlyn stabs her fork- her one demand was that she not eat with her hands- into one of the tentacles, takes the largest bite she can and looks intently away from the bowl as she chews. as she does, vi cheers and raises her glass of water, laughing harder.
"and? what do you think?" she prods.
it's sweet and only a tiny bit salty. not rubbery at all, actually. the sauce is a little bit spicy, not even approaching the limit of what caitlyn could handle.
"it's... good," she allows.
"told you."
"oh, shut up."
#arcane#arctober#vi#caitlyn kiramman#piltover's finest#levi.doc#sorry this ones short and kinda shit ive had the work day from hell#got yelled at by some old fart + LOTS of routine disruptions and then one of the clients started crying and i couldnt even help :(#but we get through it#also i just like that quote abt the frog lol. its mark twain. resonates w me as a chronic procrastinator <3
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It is kinda funny seeing people talk about Seungmin lately because he definitely has gotten more bold and confident for sure. He's also just getting opportunities to be perceived as an individual on his own as well for the first time in a while but it's still jarring to see people be like Aw he was always such a quiet goodie two shoes little nerd and it's like...... he was the one to leave and seek out his own vocal coach and blatantly talk about it, which of course lead to I.N and Lee Know also doing the same, he was the one to go on bubble and tell off sasaengs who used to camp outside their old dorm for invading members privacy but also because it effected other residents and staff at the complex, something that i'm certain upper management wouldnt have been happy about, and he wasn't curt or nice about it either. like he's never actually been a wallflower, he's always had a pretty strong backbone and seems to stick to his principals, its not really new.
#even silly shit like bringing up drinking even tho staff has clearly told him not too#like yeah its silly but its still sticking to his guns of being like we arent actually children anymore thanks#the food thing too like in an old 2 kids room he said something about not being able to eat on his bday bc they were filming so evidently#there was a moment in time when he caved to the shitty diet obsession kpop had but ever since hes never really said anything like it again#instead hes telling everyone to eat well and reminding people to have dinner or lunch every other day#even the comment about growing his hair out but then being like lol the stylist probably wont like me saying that or whatever#and like the yeah im going to the gym but im not lifting. dont expect me to bulk up. im doing it for stamina<< that made me cackle#bc i did see people on twt being like but what if seungmin got buff tho omg hed be so hot 🥺 Well him bein buff isnt what this is about#so he went and made sure people were realistic. not everyone needs to be noticeably cut yk#idk maybe bc i watched most all the skz content all the way through#and now i go back and gif stuff i notice patterns more easily than if youve been here for longer and havent watched older stuff#for a while- maybe? idk its just funny but i also see takes a lot and have to stop myself from going No <3#anyway this is my obligatory insane ksm tangent of the week. see you in 5 minutes.#🐶
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me, before visiting star wars galaxy’s edge: okay. so you loved the force awakens as a teenager and imprinted on kylo ren for various understandable reasons, but you are 25 years old now and the sequel trilogy was disappointing post-tfa and you have not watched a star wars since you saw the rise of the skywalker, once, in theaters. you will not get that sentimental at this theme park, it will be normal and fine.
me, visiting star wars galaxy’s edge: 🥹😏🥰👍
#forgot that i also got very attached to chewbacca bc he reminded me of my childhood dog#and teenage years dog that little guy got me through some shit#i told myself i was not doing the lightsaber thing i have NO REASON to own a lightsaber but then my dad kinda talked me into it#this was my first vacation in 5 years and i live on my own so i’m normally pretty self-limiting with expenses#it was really nice to experience something so special and i’m very grateful :)#tbh i’m kinda sad about the way the sequel trilogy is regarded now it had so much potential and a lot of people cared about it#if i had all the time in the world i would make one of those super long video essays unpacking what i loved and what i would change#sw
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The gang’s all here!! They’re on the case!! And there’s no ghost that they wouldn’t chase!!!!!
@mysticalcats’s Foxglove, @toki-toro’s Chaumet, @emimii’s Clownaire, and my own Bluebelle :)
#this was indeed the project I was working on lmao#WHY DID THIS TAKE 17 BILLION YEARSSSSSS#I actually rly like how the actual paint turned out#ESPECIALLY FOR FOXGLOVE SQUEEEEE#he looks so cute….and I got all the colors mixed for Chaumet#watercolor oc painting: 1#back paint neck pain headache pain: 0#no but sketching this took such! a long! time!#I just straight up could not get foxglove and bluebelle right it was maddening#but I persisted and I beat the odds‼️‼️ Yipee‼️‼️#I love all of these guys so so so much I’ll prolly never stop thinking about them#please never stop talking about your ocs ever#and I am working on being coherent about Bluebelle as we speak!!!!#I got an idea and now I’m trying to make my brain not be mean about it#literally just chanting to myself ‘YOU! CAN MAKE! IT AS WEIRD!! AS! YOU WANT!!!’#shoutout to my fairytales throughout that ages book for inspiring me#100 points and a drawing of your choice if you can figure out the story Bluebelle’s backstory is based on lmao#ANYHOW#I just be rambling in these tags I perhaps need to calm down lol#I LOVE YALLS OCS FOREVER AND EVER!!!!#clownaire was literally perfect from the start I NAILED his pose first try and then he was very supportive the rest of the way through#live laugh love 🫶🫶🫶💐💐💐🩰🩰🩰#next up: Jemima painting!! with two special guests!!!#oh shit those are a lot of tags uhhhh I’m done now i promise 🫶🫶#cats the musical#cats musical#cats oc#jellicle oc#sorah’s silly scribbles#(also the text right under the drawing are a Scooby doo song LMAO it’s called Dig It Scooby Doo it’s insanely catchy)
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