#it genuinely is a you problem at this point cause not even the creator is bothered by it

[theeroins]

"I'm tired of people mischaracterizing my favorite characters for the sake of their ship"

not sure how you’re surviving this absolute apocalypse, my thoughts and prayers will be with you tho

[bicth-and-in-that-order]

Rambling thoughts of various Yuri manga I’ve read

1. Kase-San and Yamada (Morning Glories sequel series) by Hiromi Takashima

notice how Kase’s name is first, which is representative of her being the main one to cause problems in their relationship

If you asked me what my favorite yuri manga was like 2-3 years ago, I’d say Morning Glories and Kase San everytime. Every avid yuri fan has either read or watched Morning Glories because, at the time in 2010, it was groundbreaking, and I stand by the fact that the original series still holds up to this day. It was cute, sweet, wholesome and only had a few obligatory “we love each other but we’re giRLs😳😳😳” moments. Most of all it wasn’t a pseudo-incest-straight-male-porn-pandering-garbage-fest—also known as “Citrus”. Was it cliche at times? Yes, but they all are lol. Did they add to the dumb ass “blonde femme and dark hair masc” trope? Also yes. But it was adorable and it was my first ever yuri so it holds a special place in my heart.

And it SEEMED like it was only going to get better in Kase San and Yamada, the sequel. The girls would be heading to college and the story could theoretically focus on more mature topics while they navigate their new relationship. Keyword: theoretically. Unfortunately, instead of exploring interesting relationship dynamics and storylines, the plot of each story arc boils down to: Kase is insecure because a man breathed next to Yamada or Kase is being completely insensitive to Yamada’s feelings…again…—> ✨miscommunication drama ✨—>big over dramatic apology scene—>boring makeup sex or other romantic gesture.

Literally that’s how every single plotline goes. Kase is so goddamn dumb and insensitive to Yamada’s feelings and Yamada’s a complete doormat who can only stay mad for 0.2 seconds before getting pussy whipped like a spineless ass bitch. And for all that Yamada sacrifices for Kase; her hometown, her dreams, her apartment, what does she get in return from Kase? Oh that’s right; bare minimum romantic gestures and a neglectful partner who can’t even call her “girlfriend” in front of others:

Like I thought we were over this shit. It’s been THREE years of them together, a whole anime production, and god knows how many irl years and we’re going back to “we love each other but we’re giRLs😳😳😳” WHY???

And then Kase later goes onto bet her entire three year relationship over the ugly bitch in the next panel, so now I’m questioning whether or not Kase even loves Yamada with the amount of bullshit she’s put her through. Which COULD be an interesting plot point, but Kase never gets any consequences for her actions and the creator genuinely thinks this is romantic and full of tension so I’m 10000% positive that this arc, just like all the others, will end with some makeup sex and we’ll be right back to step 1. Sigh.

2. Tamen De Gushi by Tan Jiu

Tamen De Gushi’s problems are interesting but it’s NOT because of the Chinese government💀

So today’s dark haired masc and blonde femme of the day are Sun Jing and Qiu Tong, respectively. Their personalities aren’t anything to write home about, if you read ANY high school yuri romance, then you know exactly what happens in this story beat for beat. But, BUT, however derivative it is, I find their dynamic very endearing and down to earth. Idk maybe it’s just the translation, but other yuri stories often have this very inauthentic “anime” vibe to it. Which is to say the characters act very cutesy, overly dramatic, and have this stilted, caricature-esque acting of how the creator thinks teenage girls are supposed act.

However, I’m happy to report that Tamen De Gushi is a breath of fresh air in this regard. The characters and interactions they have are grounded and feel organic, which makes them feel like real people, not aliens pretending to be human. This really elevates the humor in turn, oh did I mention that Tamen De Gushi is super funny? Because Tamen De Gushi is super funny, here’s one of my favorite panels and it’s all because of Sun Jing’s goofy ahh expression:

Like go girl give us nothing

If you’re wondering why I haven’t spoke much about the actual romantic relationship between the girls, that’s because there isn’t one💀 Which, okay, that’s not a fair assessment, they have a ton of romantic tension and they flirt a lot. It’s certainly building to a great romantic relationship, but it can’t quite get there due to legal/political reasons sadly. 😔

Edit: I received new information in regards to what happened to Tamen De Gushi. While I reached my limit for posting pictures, I want to point out that the Chinese government had nothing to do with Tamen De Gushi getting censored, rather it was a dispute between the author and the publishing company. The prior information I received was false and I prob should’ve looked it up more so sorrrry. The fact still remains though that after their big lesbian kiss towards the middle of the story and maybe a few other moments, that’s just kind of it. You’re stuck waiting for something to develop, but nothing really happens. The comic very quickly becomes a collection of slice of life segments and cute pictures that imply a relationship between the girls, but not really ;) ;).  Now things are just kind of left in purgatory for the foreseeable future and, well, that’s Tamen De Gushi y’all.

Compared to Kase San and Yamada, the characters were much better, which is not saying much, but without an actual romantic storyline, there’s just not a lot for me to comment on to be honest. It’s really pretty though, look at this art :

3. Beauty and the Beast Girl by Neji

my personal favorite and the BEST yuri I ever read

So next on the list is Beauty and the Beast Girl (I’m going to abbreviate to BatBG from here on) , which I already spoiled my feelings on the matter so this will basically be me gushing about this story for several paragraphs straight, enjoy.

Contrary to what the title suggests, it really has nothing to do with Beauty and the Beast’s story except in name. The main girls are Lily Blind, who is actually fucking blind 💀 and Heath the monster girl. Already I’m happy because instead of blonde femme and dark hair butch, it’s blonde femme and of-course-you-have-purple-hair-and-pronouns masc. Lol, all jokes aside, Lily, unlike her blonde femme counterparts is quite assertive and voices her opinions all the time. In fact, she’s the one who pushes Heath to be more open and communicate with her rather than the other way around. This is, in part, due to the story BatBG is trying to tell. I say BatBG is in name only to Beauty and the Beast because Lily isn’t trying to find the “beauty” within Heath or learning to love a beast or whatever, she’s fine just the way she is and her love for Heath is unconditional. Plus the only thing beastly about Heath is her appearance…which I’ll harp on later, but her behavior is in no way different from a regular human except in very rare, specific moments.

At its heart, BatBG is a story about forgiveness (the creator literally says as much) , but it’s also about the cycle of violence that results from being outcasted and deprived of love. BatBG is set in a world of humans and monsters, where the monsters are outcasted and either have to stay away from human society like Heath or assimilate themselves by hiding away their monster like traits, which is a really queer narrative on top of an already queer story. I don’t want to go into too much spoilers, but sometime before the beginning of the story, Heath in-directly hurts Lily before they ever meet. However, it’s not about Lily needing to forgive Heath, or trying to get over the pain she inflicted upon her, rather its Heath learning to forgive herself and in effect, learning to love herself as much as Lily loves her.

Another big aspect of BatBG is disabilities, Lily Blind is in fact Blind lol and while there are times she struggles with her blindness, she never views her disability as something she needs to be ashamed of and never, ever, blames Heath for it or holds it against her unlike what many, many, many, many other stories end up doing. Her blindness isn’t treated like a super power either, it’s a legitimate disability. She just accepts that it’s a part of her and goes onto say that if not for her blindness, she would’ve never met the love of her life, which I found to be an incredibly profound thing to say.

Now that I’ve gotten this far, I suppose I can add a bit of a disclaimer. So BatBG is waaaaay more explicit about the physical affection between the girls than in any of the previous stories I talked about. Heath and Lily are constantly kissing on, hugging, and almost always flirting with each other, and make no mistake, these girls do be fucking. The sex scenes are never perverted or gross, but genuinely super sweet and romantic, which makes it way hotter imo (huh imagine that🤔). And aside from being hot, it also serves a purpose! Lily’s pretty damn horny underneath all her nice girl antics and while it’s not a major part of her character, it does give a slight edge to her personality and, most importantly, balances out the dynamic between Heath and Lily. It would’ve been very easy to fall into that boring trope where Heath is aggressively horny and Lily is the submissive blind girl, but by making Lily be the one to initiate the sexual encounters, it not only compliments Heath’s more reserved nature, but breaks the stereotype that people with disabilities are pure precious being who couldn’t possibly have sex, which is ableist af btw. Many people think the existence of any sex scenes at all is superfluous, but in BatBG, it truly elevates the story, the characters, and the romance in ways that wouldn’t be nearly as satisfying without it.

Now, with as much praise I gave BatBG, there is one criticism I have, but it’s a quibble really, and it can be explained in a single image:

There is a dissonance between the story and the art, the story says: “Heath is a big, ugly scary monster”

The art says:

And like yes, it can be argued that Heath is simply regurgitating the things bigoted people have said to her, but at no point in the story is this ever challenged or brought up in any meaningful way. Lily is blind so she doesn’t know what the hell she looks like and the other characters aren’t any help either. It’s not a big deal or anything, it just would’ve elevated the story if Heath was actually kinda ugly/more monstrous and not incredibly beautiful because right now it’s giving skinny girl who calls herself fat all the time, and it’s like, babe, who tf are you fooling? 😭

Other than that, BatBG is incredibly profound despite its premise being so deceptively simple and I love it to pieces so …yeah! READ IT.

4. Superwomen in Love! Honey Trap and Rapid Rabbit by sometime

Well, at least there are no blondes

So imma just abbreviate to SiL btw

Alright, let’s get started. The premise is that a villainess falls for the super hero girl and then that plotline is dropped in about 16 pages. I’m not even joking, the villainess falls for the hero, loses her job as a villain and then joins the hero all in one chapter. The REAL plot is actually about a council of evil alien-humans who want to destroy humanity because of generic super villain reason #434: the leader of the aliens is sad and misunderstood :( I’m not even going to lie, I had 0 interest in “X” (the generic ass name of the main villain) and her band of useless lesbians. They did literally nothing in the story except be a nuisance and contribute to X’s incel breakdown at the end. Their inclusion actively made SiL worse because the story has this weird tonal problem where in one breath the villains are portrayed as complete jokes and then you turn the page and now they’re shooting children like girl what💀 And these useless lesbians hog sooooo much of SiL that desperately needed to be given to Honey trap and Hayate to develop their relationship.

When the story DOES actually focus on Honey Trap and Hayate, it’s pretty good, even cute at times, there just wasn’t enough time given to them to flesh their relationship out. As it stands, Honey Trap and Hayate don’t have much of a dynamic, or personality for that matter. Honey Trap’s main gimmick is that she’s extremely horny for Hayate and delulu:

Aside from that, she’s a great value version of Heath, but even a watered down character is better than, like, nothing. All I really know about Hayate is that she’s nice, heroic, likes wearing tacky clothes and ….that’s it. She loves Honey Trap because…………they fought together a few times so why not🤷‍♀️ I’d say at least that’s better than Tamen De Gushi, but actually it’s not because these grown ass women don’t even kiss , all we get is a love confession and their gremlin love child and that’s supposed to be satisfying I guess.

And the worst part is that SiL has the audacity to pretend the romance was something that it clearly wasn’t:

Girl…yall were “””enemies””” for 10 panels.

Now, it’s stated they have been rivals for a while, but I guess Honey Trap forgot all of that because the moment she sees Hayate’s face, my good sis is pussy whipped for life. And that’s in spite of apparently being the evilest one out of the evil group because Honey Trap has no grudge or baggage toward Hayate. She immediately turns good with no issues and Hayate is only distrustful of Honey Trap for 1 or 2 speech bubbles and then she’s not. Anything else that happened was off screen, which means it didn’t happen. Ironically, the very next entry on this list will do a MUCH better job at an ex-villain love story, but for SiL, there’s just not much going on.

Another reading of this story is to call it a “parody” but…no, it isn’t. SiL isn’t a comedy, yes there are comedic moments that poke fun of the genre, but the rest of the story genuinely wants you to take it seriously. Except it can’t. X and her league of dimwits are boring as piss and they oscillate between Saturday morning cartoon villains and child murderers seemingly on a whim. So I can neither be endeared to them nor take them as a serious threat. Honey Trap and Hayate are there, but I lament on all the potential lost from what could’ve been an amazing relationship.

5. Yamujiburo/Kianamaiart’s Hanamusa webcomic

This one is kind of cheating, but I also don’t care let me talk about hot MILFs💀

So the final entry on this list is a webcomic series by one of my fave artist: kianamaiart! And it’s right here on tumblr so check it out!

I stumbled upon this webcomic a few weeks ago, fell in love and now I want to talk about it. This yuri pair thankfully has no blonde femme in sight and instead features two popular Pokémon characters: Jessie from Team Rocket and Delia Ketchum, Ash Ketchum’s mom. What I love about this ship and the world Kiana creates around them is that it’s a very unconventional pairing. There’s just not many romances where a single mom falls in love with an ex gang member and the best part is, Delia being a mom is a big part of her character and she doesn’t ignore Ash in favor of her new relationship with Jessie. She has time for both and doesn’t prioritize one over the other, which many ppl fail to do even irl so good on you Delia!

Now, as for the romance it self, Jessie and Delia are a unique pair. Jessie’s overconfident, brash, drama queen personality doesn’t automatically put her in the “dominant” role and Delia’s sweet, motherly personality doesn’t automatically put her in the “submissive” role. Their dynamic in the webcomic actually plays out in the reverse, Jessie is the one who gets easily flustered and Delia’s…intense, to say the least:

(But Tbf if Delia looked at me like that I’d be at her beck and call too💀)

This subversion of these tropes creates a fun dynamic for the couple and it’s super adorable to see how their energies bounce off each other in each new situation Kiana puts them in. I also love how both Jessie and Delia inspire each other to live out their dreams and they become better versions of themselves by being together.

And one last thing, I don’t have any smart commentary to go along with this, I just really like this drawing of Jessie:

no thoughts, head empty

Final Thoughts

Soooo yeah, that’s the end of my dissertation on yuri comics. I know I ended up dragging a lot of popular yuri, but it wasn’t my intention to make you guys hate any of things I talked about. These were just my thoughts as an avid yuri fan, so let me know your thoughts as well, especially if you read any of the yuri I talked about. And even though I’m super picky about the type of yuri I read, I’d still love to hear any recommendations. Who knows, it might dethrone the undefeated champ that is Beauty and the Beast Girl.

[seabirdtxt]

Deus Vocat

'Just how close to divinity does the god-machine get?' Pretty darn close, as it turns out. The rest is entirely up to you and Scaramouche. [p1] [p2 - you are here!] [p3]

Notes: Genshin SAGAU, cult au, mostly confusion and miscommunication in this one. mild swearing. still pre-3.2 plotwise!

WC. 1.6k

----- ⚘ -----

Three days and three nights. That’s how long Scaramouche waited to hear Your voice again. The more the hours drew out, his temper became increasingly volatile every time the nervous technicians would open the Shouki no Kami’s cockpit to check up on him.

Each time he would kick them out and slam the cockpit shut, even nearly taking off a mechanic’s arm with the face plates. His patience runs thinner with every passing moment.

Nearing dawn of the fourth day, finally he feels that strange buzzing connecting behind his ears. He stiffens and pulls himself upright, blinking weariness out of his eyes. 

“Your Grace?” he mumbles, the sudden drop in pressure in the cockpit makes him dizzy. “Is that you?”

Your voice crackles over the connection, sounding a little farther away. “Hey, yeah, it’s me again. How're you holding up?”

“What took you so long?” is what he replies, the words coming to him despite his head warning him that You are the Divine Creator. “Do you know how much work I could’ve gotten done in the time you took to get back to me?”

“What? It’s been, like, an hour at most.” You reply, sounding skeptical. “Don’t tell me you’re the impatient type.”

“An- an hour?!” Scaramouche runs the math in his head quickly, frowning. “Is there such a time dilation between your realm and mine?” 

“What do you mean?”

Scaramouche growls with frustration, rubbing his temples as he feels a headache coming on. “What are you not understanding here? I didn’t think the Creator would be so ignorant of their own creation.”

“... what?”

“Are you being deliberately obtuse? Are you even who you say you are? You wouldn’t be the first to have delusions of grandeur to bring some sort of momentary excitement into their pathetic, insignificant lives.”

“Woah, calm down, buddy,” you say, a warning in your voice. “Let’s just take it from the top, okay? Hello, my name is,” you repeat your name for him. “It’s nice to meet you.”

Scaramouche takes a breath and rolls his eyes, then reluctantly complies with the direction you’re taking.

“Hello, I’m Scaramouche, The Balladeer, Sixth of the Fatui Harbingers, and I’m currently dealing with an idiot problem.”

“I’m gonna let that one slide for now,” you respond curtly. “Now tell me, ‘Scaramouche’, why did you call me today?”

“You say it as if I somehow did it on purpose.”

“Didn’t you?” The raised eyebrow is audible in your tone. 

“Of course not!” Scaramouche snaps, patience waning. “Dottore’s stupid god-machine did something to my head, obviously, and now there’s some kind of connection to you that I have no idea how to control.”

“... god-machine?” you ask, sounding genuinely confused. “What are you talking about?”

“The god-machine that the sages commissioned,” Scaramouche explains slowly, smugly, as if he’s talking to a child. “If the gnosis’ connection to divinity is successful, I will be named the new deity of Sumeru and take over the position of that pathetic little god, Buer.”

“You’re going to what to who?” you question again. “Hang on, is this spoilers? I didn’t get that far in the story yet…”

“What do you mean, ‘story’?” It’s Scaramouche’s turn to be confused now.

“Y’know, ‘cause you’re RPing that guy from the game, right? I’m not at that point in the questline yet so, uh, thanks for spoiling the story for me, I guess.”

“This isn’t a game!” His temper flares and he pounds his fist against the face panel of the cockpit, the clang resounding in his ears. “Damn you, is that how you see us, then? As some kind of sick game for your personal amusement?” 

“Wow, you’re really taking this personally, huh? It’s not that serious, man, you need to calm down for a sec-” 

“I will not be calm!” Scaramouche thrashes about in the cockpit, kicking and punching the interior and creating a hellish metallic sound. Behind him, the tubes slap and rattle around, threatening to disconnect from his sockets if he continues his tantrum. “The Divine Creator just told me that they view our existence as a game!” 

Your voice takes on a tone of annoyance, though you appear to be trying to suppress it. “Listen, I looked it up on the wiki, and there's nothing there about this supposed ‘Creator’ character, so I know you’re full of shit. Just cut it out, okay?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Scaramouche shouts into the empty cockpit. And that’s the root of the problem, isn’t it? Clearly he and the Creator aren’t seeing eye to eye on something, here, and it’s causing a terrible miscommunication.

With a great heaving sigh, he tries to reign in his temper. 

“What can I do to prove to you that I’m serious, right now?” He asks through gritted teeth. 

There's a sound like static that fills his head and he cries out in pain, clutching his ears as if that might stop the noise.

“Hypothetically, let’s say you’re Scaramouche from the game,” Your voice filters in through the static. “Like, the actual NPC or something. The only way I’d believe you is if you do something in-game that’s out of the ordinary. I’m logging in right now, so if there’s something weird happening I’m willing to give you the benefit of the doubt.”

Scaramouche’s thoughts race through his head, though he has no idea what half of the words you say mean, and he wracks his mind trying to think of something he could do to show his presence. 

“Where… where are you right now?”

“I’m doing the quest in Pardis Dhyai,” you answer, and sure enough Scaramouche feels a faint tug that he’s come to associate with the Traveler’s presence coming from the direction of the laboratory. “I’m fighting with some Eremites right now.”

Pardis Dhyai, where he knows Haypasia is being kept. The woman had connected with his consciousness briefly during one of the early god-machine tests Dottore had forced him to do. It very nearly put him out of commission for a week, but sharing his consciousness had been proof irrefutable that he could channel divinity, at the time. 

“Okay, stay there, I’m going to try something.” He says, and attempts to concentrate on the location. In his mind, he conjures the feeling of static and ozone and aims, internally cheering when he feels the power connect with bodies. “Did you see that? Did I get them?”

“Get what?”

“The thunderbolts!” He says, incredulous. Surely there was no way to miss that, right?

“That’s part of the quest, I saw the walk through of this part,” you huff. “You’re really not convincing me, here.” 

Frustration bubbles up and Scaramouche chews his thumb as he tries to think of something else, and that’s when he feels it.

The Traveler touches Haypasia.

A bolt of energy courses through his head, and in the distorted reflection of the metal cockpit he sees his eyes flash again. 

He follows an instinct, reaching out to Haypasia’s consciousness and, by extension, the Traveler. He grabs the tether in his mind and pulls, feeling himself travel across time and space, until he’s in Pardis Dhyai. 

He blinks and looks around, the faded scenery looking exactly as it had when Haypasia had contacted him. There, standing beside his follower’s unconscious body, is the Traveler.

“Where are you?” Scaramouche asks through the connection, trying to sense if you've left him once again. “There’s nobody else here.”

“... Huh.” Your voice comes through the connection in his head, but also through vibrations in the air. “That’s definitely not part of the cutscene.” 

“What the hell is a cutscene?” He demands, still looking around for the source of your voice. 

“Right, that’s creepy. Is this a glitch?” 

“If you tell me what your words mean, maybe I can tell you.” Scaramouche growls, then points at the Traveler. “You, where is the Creator? I know they’re around here somewhere, I can feel it.” 

“No way.” You say, incredulously. 

“Huh?”

“Scaramouche, jump up and down three times.”

He looks around again, before settling his gaze on the Traveler. “Why should I do that?”

“You’re trying to prove that you're in the game, right? I can see you right now, so if it’s really you I want you to jump up and down three times.”

Feeling supremely foolish, but willing to humor you on the off chance you aren’t lying to him, Scaramouche gives three halfhearted hops, and immediately crosses his arms. 

“Happy now?” he growls.

To his extreme surprise, and slight horror, the Traveler jumps three times as well.

“Oh my god, you’re actually in the game? Like, you’re the character in the game?” You ask, breathless, a tinge of hysteria creeping in. “No way. This doesn’t happen in real life. Games don’t just become self-aware like this. Am I dreaming?”

“Whatever you’re talking about, you better tell me really quick or else…” Scaramouche trails off for a moment, unsure of what he could really do to you, given the metaphorical distance. “Or else I’ll be really angry with you,” he finishes lamely. In front of him, the Traveler’s eyebrows furrow slightly.

“You’re not supposed to, like, know about me,” you continue, raising in octave slowly. “You’re not real! Is my life just a creepypasta right now?”

“Would you cut that out?!” Scaramouche half-shouts, in an attempt to be heard over your frantic voice. He can feel the connection between the two of you waver with each passing second. “Whatever you’re doing, stop panicking!”

“I think I’d like to panic, actually,” you say, and the connection goes dead. 

Empty air fills the space behind Scaramouche’s ears, and he snarls in frustration at having been left hanging once again. For a second, he almost forgets the presence of the third party in the room. He looks up and stops his muttering at the sight of the Traveler’s dumbfounded, and slightly scared expression.

“You can hear them?”

[bloodismymedium]

Mona Lanius Headcanons Part IV because I’m actually obsessed with her 💀

🩸 Mona finds the rain very comforting, she’ll stand out in a storm and risk pneumonia to get completely soaked, her head pointed directly at the sky, eyes closed and a soft smile on her face. It’s also the closest thing to a bath that she will ever take.

🩸 Mona’s favorite book is Mary Shelly’s Frankenstein and she relates to the Monster a lot since she too feels like an inhuman outcast not meant for a world that hated her since birth.

🩸 Mona wishes she could sing but her voice is too raspy for it but her humming is flat out ethereal, her voice becomes beautiful and soothing when she hums and she could easily lull someone to sleep with it.

🩸 Mona inherited her parents’ drug problems. She takes so much drugs and so many different kinds that it’s nothing short of a miracle that she hasn’t overdosed yet. She also takes a lot of pain killers but that’s for her back and joint pain on account of her Kyphosis and double-jointed limbs.

🩸 Mona prefers cold, damp climates, she can be completely comfortable in below thirty degree weather and is cold as ice to the touch 24/7. She absolutely hates being hot because it makes her bromhidrosis act up and she hates the sensation of being sweaty in general.

🩸 GG Allin is Mona’s personal hero, she legitimately wishes she could’ve met him and do heroin with him. She often cites GG Allin as one of her biggest inspirations along with Valerie Solanas, Albert Fish and the Zodiac Killer.

🩸 Mona doesn’t care for makeup or jewelry in the slightest. On rare occasions she’ll wear lipstick but only if it’s as black as her soul. She’s always been interested in getting piercings though and she isn’t against the idea of body modification either.

🩸 Mona also HATES wearing shoes because she has large and oddly shaped feet caused by her Marfan syndrome, which makes wearing shoes very uncomfortable for her. Years of walking barefoot has caused her feet to become very tough and calloused to the point where she can walk on broken glass and feel nothing.

🩸 Mona has Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Antisocial Personality Disorder and Sexual Sadism Disorder. Her NPD is genetically inherited and she had symptoms since she was very young but she developed Antisocial Personality Disorder from years of abuse and trauma and her sexual sadism was formed over years of exploring her sexuality while committing murders during her teen years.

🩸 On top of painting and her arts and crafts projects involving human flesh, Mona is an aspiring filmmaker of sorts as she has made hundreds of snuff films and stag films with a video camera she stole from Mark and has an impressive collection of VHS tapes containing her and Bill’s twisted home movies. Mona takes them pretty seriously too, she’s always looking for the perfect light to really capture the pained and horrified look of her victims actors.

🩸 Mona has genuinely developed an underground fandom after her capture. Her murders and paintings captivated the country as it is but as soon as it was made public that she is a woman, people went rabid. The amount of “I can fix her” and “I love a woman who would actually just kill me” memes that would come out of it would break the internet.

🩸 Some of Mona’s paintings would even start being purchased by members of her “fanbase” for thousands of dollars a piece and she would already get dozens of people ranging from psychiatrists to E-celeb content creators wanting to get interviews with her, and you better believe Mona is LOVING all this attention.

🩸 Mona was born on December 24th. Her birth on Christmas Eve was actually planned by her parents as planning births to be on Christmas Eve was one of many odd, semi-religious rituals the Lanius family practiced as part of their agenda to achieve genetic and cultural purity, along with practicing incest and drinking each other’s blood.

🩸 The Lanius family are nonspecific Pagans who believe in a lot of strange superstitions and worship no particular deity but believe in a more nonspecific idea of spiritualism that feels like it’s composed of bits and pieces taken from many different religions. Mona is not religious to any capacity but still practices some of the odd traditions her family had out of nostalgic reasons.

🩸 Mona has tried dozens of times to send letters to Tina while she is incarcerated, still under the delusion that they’re an item and that Tina loves her like she loves her. The letters range from poems, to fucked yet strangely romantic drawings, to really horny ramblings of how much she wants to seek her teeth into Tina’s flesh while she weeps into her chest 🥰

[dsmp-lainey]

to conclude my thoughts on the past days mcyt/trsmp discourse, ill just say that ultimately i just think it’s kinda odd for anyone to hold so much resentment and bad faith assumptions against the literal friends of your favorite streamers.

they are grown adults who are capable of dealing with any feelings they may have between themselves, and trying to frame a situation as if the “problem person” is some random that showed up who your cc needs saving from instead of someone who was directly asked to participate and speaks to these creators behind the scene is parasocial asf

if they don’t have an issue or resentment between themselves, then maybe y’all don’t need to imagine up issues between them. saying you wish something could change/improve in a respectful and genuine way is fine, even not enjoying the humor/content of another creator in those circles is fine. but you are not the “cool helpful” fan you think you are when you’re ranting about how much you despise your favorite creators friends.

let’s just all remember this is literally minecraft gaming and it’s truly not that deep. and if you really wish to direct your anger at some creator online i can point you to the hundreds in existence who have actually caused people serious personal lasting harm and trauma irl.

[carinavet]

I know I'm hella late to the party so this has probably already been said, but Veilguard's continuity issues are made so much worse by the fact that the things that DID carry over ... didn't really need to.

Like, honestly, we didn't really need Varric's narration or impotent presence across the whole game, even with the endgame reveal. We didn't need the Inquisitor to show up for several conversations that boil down to "Yeah I've got no actual help for you but you're doing greeeeat," or letters that boil down to "We're still hanging on in the South. You keep doing your thing. 👍" Even Morrigan's only actual contribution was helping you find that piece of Mythal, which is something you could just ... choose not to use in the end.

We didn't need the elven gods to be the cause of the Blight. (We didn't need the Blight to be much of a factor in this game at all.) We didn't need the Teventer gods to actually be dragons bound to the elven gods. We didn't need to rehash Corypheus' mechanic of needing to kill the bound dragon first.

And having the Venatori and the Antaam both immediately join the gods just makes no sense. Both organizations are all about their own superiority, so why would they bow to anyone else? The Venatori in particular should be pissed to find out that the old Teventer gods were just puppets of the elven gods. The Antaam's points of interest were all erased by having them no longer care about the Qun at all. And they're blighting dragons for the gods? Don't Qunari practically worship those? It would have been so much more interesting and made so much more sense if both of these groups had been problems IN ADDITION TO the gods, not in CONJUNCTION with them. And both of these are given no more motive than a handwave explanation about "the promise of power".

Which even that, like ... What power??? Because of the choices made about what the threats in this game are, the gods don't actually come off as being all that powerful. Their army is made up of (literally) faceless footsoldiers seeking power. The gods control darkspawn via the Blight, but they didn't even create that: Solas did, on accident. They have dragons, but those are also separate creatures bound to themselves. The big scary fight in the end is Solas himself vs ... Elgar'nan's archdemon, not Elgar'nan himself. And again, even having bound dragons mimics the game mechanic of the fight against Corypheus -- well-known to be the least intimidating boss battle in the series thus far.

We're constantly told that these gods are powerful, that they're a threat, that even Solas is afraid of them. We are never shown why.

We could've had elven worshipers who genuinely believed in the Creators, and seen the backlash if/when they're proven wrong. We could've had elves who know the gods are evil but still said "fuck the Chantry and fuck Teventer in particular." We could've had humans and others who said "Well the Maker has abandoned us but these gods are here."

We could've had the Mother of Monsters create actual monsters with a horror all her own.

We could've had either "god" use more than one spell in the whole damn game.

[sufferu]

Do you think Emilia suffer/may suffer from " Creator's Pet " syndrome? It seems to me she does fit two of them: Hated and despised by some fans Loved (or worshipped) by the writer(tappei),is his favorite

I think that’s her main problem, tbh — and honestly, it’s the only real writing critique that I have about Re:Zero as a whole. It doesn’t matter to me what other fans think about her character in this regard: that’s always like. A bit of a coin flip, who exactly is gonna become the widespread favorite or whipping boy. What matters to me is that Tappei 1) leans on what he seems to consider her inherent likability, often without actually justifying it to the audience, and 2) is terrified of actually making her unlikeable.

That first point first: Tappei tends to Assume that the audience likes Emilia just as much as he does, and because of this I feel like he doesn’t tend to lay the groundwork necessary to actually make that the case.

This is pretty subjective, I don’t have a whole lot of really objective moments to point to here, so someone else might think I’m totally off the mark — but I feel like sometimes we’re expected to believe that Emilia is some amazingly capable and talented person while the moments where she’s actually allowed to back it up are few and far between. Most of them are also — honestly really simple? And very much tied up in her being a super powerful fighter, instead of in her being intelligent, or quick-witted, or even in her being particularly empathetic. That last one works a LITTLE bit, because that’s basically the whole reason Subaru fell so hard for her, but even then I think I can count on one hand the number of times Emilia’s boundless kindness has actually earned her a powerful character moment/victory in the main storyline (first loop of Arc 1 + the reveal that she always stopped to help Plum, Lap Pillow Scene, Emilia’s conversation with Madelyn…?? Maybe there’s something in her conversation with Ram in Arc 4???) and otherwise it’s only really Referenced rather than Shown. And when that’s one of your LEAD CHARACTERS, it’s just not enough.

The second point, though, is the one that I actually consider more important: Emilia isn’t given enough moments where she’s allowed to be genuinely unlikeable.

The whole reason why Subaru is such a beloved character is because he’s allowed to be a fuck-up sometimes. He is allowed to fall, and fall HARD, and get raked through the coals so bad for it that you can still taste the blood three arcs later. Fuck, he’s allowed to fuck up so bad that he becomes the Reason so many people straight up dropped the first season. And that makes him interesting, and multifaceted, and it makes his good moments mean so much more. This is what I consider the Secret to good character writing: if you want the audience to like that character, give them moments where they are genuinely, unapologetically ugly. This is why Bakugou is the best character in BNHA (fight me): Bakugou is allowed to be UGLY.

And the thing is: Tappei doesn’t normally HAVE this problem. Ram comes off like she’s being a fucking asshole for basically no reason, Otto is a conniving little shit, Julius introduced himself by beating the everloving snot out of the then-self-insert character, Felt abandoned Subaru to get beaten bloody in an alley in her very first scene, Anastasia, Priscilla, and Crusch all had a moment where they basically spat in Subaru’s face (even if Anastasia was trying to help it was very much a Tough Love moment), Wilhelm basically caused the Astrea Family Circus, Rem gets all of Arc 7 to throw her very carefully constructed Waifu persona completely out the window — fuck, Subaru is the MAIN CHARACTER and Arc 3 is basically just “Subaru Cringe Compilation.” So when Emilia is basically the only character who isn’t allowed to be ugly — it stands out, and not in a good way.

We have had Emilia as the secondary lead for basically eight arcs at this point (six if you don’t count the Vollachia Saga), and — look, I’m not an Emilia hater, but can you really say that she has anywhere near as much depth as Subaru does, or even as much as some of the secondary characters? She just doesn’t, or if she does then it’s not adequately explored, and it’s because she’s not allowed to be Nasty sometimes. In fact — there is exactly one moment I can think of where she’s genuinely, unambiguously allowed to be in the wrong: Arc 4, when she runs away from everyone to hide from her responsibilities currently threatening to crush her and has to be found and chewed out by Subaru. And it is one of her BEST moments. Arc 4 in general is considered Emilia’s greatest arc so far, and it is BECAUSE she was allowed to have a moment where she was WRONG.

But Tappei has basically never given us another moment like that because he wants the audience to like her, and at some point it just — look, at some point the hand of the author becomes obvious. When you have basically every character Emilia meets talk about how much they like her and have That define her kindness more than any actual Moments on her part, when you refuse to make even the most vicious of characters dislike or talk shit about her despite everyone else getting a chance to earn someone else’s ire in some form or another, when you spend two whole arcs away from her and then immediately open back in on how amazing she is without even giving us a reminder about Why she’s supposed to be so amazing (having another character describe her as amazing doesn’t count) — it becomes too obvious that Tappei just Really Wants the audience to like Emilia, and at some point That Alone becomes aggravating enough to make people biased against her just on principle.

Anyway those are my thoughts lol. This is legit the only real criticism I, personally, have of the story — but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t aggravate me a LITTLE bit. I don’t want to like Emilia, I want to LOVE her — I want to love her as much as Tappei does — but she has to earn it like everyone else, and Tappei seems a little to adverse to actually letting her Do That.

[overthinkthis]

Final thoughts on MMDIY

This is not going to be a review because I don't really do that kind of thing, but I do want to write about the point that I loved most about this show. I know it's not perfect but I will forgive a lot of wobbles in plot or editing when a show emotionally resonates with me or makes me feel seen in a way other shows don't. And the way queer struggles were portrayed in mmdiy definitely did that.

Neither Wan nor Kim are out as queer but it's like they're living in an open closet. It should be obvious to everyone (even themselves) that they love each other and yet, for the longest time they seem unable to make that last step and confess their love, even though they both desperately want to on some level.

We do get some explicit homophobia with regard to Wan's career but it very quickly becomes obvious that that isn't the actual problem. Wan is very well able to stand her ground when she is attacked directly, we see that with Jessie and with Marwin's family. She is ready to confess to Kim, plans to do so multiple times. Why is it so hard to make that last step?

I do not know what the creators of the show were trying to say, but what I feel when watching the show, is the impact of the invisible homophobia and misogyny woven into all of society. The kind that isn't openly hostile but consistenly equates happiness for women with straight marriage and queerness with being miserable. We can write essays about comphet, but to me, this show gives a good take on what it actually feels like to be pressed into this expectation (although, I should probably say that I come at this from the perspective of a trans guy, not a lesbian - I still think a lot of the feelings are similar).

I love the conversation between Wan and Kim and the end of ep 9, where Kim tells her that she is going to marry Marwin. She basically admits that she doesn't love him, but she is still going to marry him because her mother wants her to.

And we know her mum isn't really trying to control Kim or make her miserable - quite the opposite. All she wants is for Kim to be happy. She should probably know better - given how her own marriage ended - but the idea that marrying the 'perfect' guy is the pinnacle of female happiness is so ingrained in society that it's understandable why she still falls into this trap. I really like that they show how suffocating a parent only wanting what's 'best' for their child can be.

I love that this show made Marwin someone who looks like such a good catch. I mean, there were some red flags from the start, but at a time where Wan was more controlling and aggressive, he genuinely looked like the better option. Gentle, patient, rich (some people even commented that the show made them ship the straight couple). The kind of guy that would be endgame in every second cheesy het romcom.

The people around Kim can kind of feel that he isn't right for her (even Marwin on some level does) but they still all enable her terrible decision to marry him. Which is another aspect I like about the show: The conflict is only resolved when Wan and Kim choose each other.

Women are constantly discouraged from going for what they want, especially when it causes other people distress, but the show clearly says: They make this choice for themselves, even though it hurts people, and that is how they get their happy ending. Not by being perfect all the time, not by caring about everyone else's feelings, but by choosing what they want for themselves.

And yes, obvisouly the whole thing could have been resolved earlier with less people getting hurt. But in another sense it couldn't, because they weren't ready. It's easy to blame Kim and Wan for not being more honest earlier on, but we can't do so without acknowledging the silent (and sometimes very loud) pressure to conform to heteronormativity.

I know some people didn't like this show very much and I do hope you all get all the kinds of GLs you're longing for soon. But imo it shows important aspects of queer experiences that we don't see a lot. And I'm really glad it exists in the way it does.

[saaraofthesand]

Disclaimer: I’m asexual, I’m on the aro spectrum, I understand that romance is not for everyone. But this is more of a discussion of misogyny and narrative intent in shounen stories. So, at no point do i mean that romance is essential to the human person.

After an Orihime/Hinata-centric convo with a coworker, it struck me how little a lot of people who only watch battle shounen understand that a love interest should bare weight in a story. As a shoujo enjoyer, I know that a love interest is important and SHOULD BE important to a story.

Take Yona of the Dawn, which is like my model for the perfect battle manga. Hak matters to the story. He isn’t important because he’s Yona’s love interest per se, but he’s Yona’s love interest because he’s important. Yona of the Dawn has a lot going on in its story, character arcs, heavy plot, the power of friendship, lore and mythology, etc. But even still, Hak and Yona’s relationship is never an afterthought. It’s very intentional and very explicitly romantic.

The reason that a lot of battle shounen can’t get romance right is very simple: misogyny. Women are not allowed to be as important to a story as the men.

Hinata is an afterthought character and love interest because Kishimoto refused to allow her to stand on her own in a significant way. He also refused to give her and Naruto a lot of MUTUAL moments of affection and trust throughout the story. There is no substance to their relationship even though there should be. You don’t feel the love or the yearning on both sides. You don’t see them fight together, perfectly in sync despite not uttering a single word (that position goes to Sasuke). Hinata goes down in basically every fight, to the point that you, the audience, are screaming crying throwing up because she should have been allowed to fight a winning battle.

This is not to say that Naruhina is a bad ship or that people who ship it are stupid. I think fans have given this relationship the substance it lacks in canon, and that matters. I mean, I am a trans Naruhina stan for life. But I don’t think Kishimoto should get credit for that.

Then Orihime… babygirl. This girl was so wasted it’s actually a crime against humanity. Orihime is given a little more import in Bleach than Hinata is in Naruto, which I actually think resulted in even more disappointment in her character for me. I don’t ship ichiruki, but… there’s a reason people do. It’s because Rukia is the character fighting at Ichigo’s side (at least in the first few arcs). Orihime is always behind Ichigo, and that’s not compelling for a love interest. She and Ichigo should be side by side.

(Now, to be fair, Ichigo isn’t side by side with anyone in later arcs because Bleach becomes the Ichigo Show and team battles just stop being a thing in favor of Ichigo Fights While Everyone Watches.)

But then in the final battle, when Orihime goes with Ichigo to fight Yhwach, you think, “this is it! Finally!” But no, Orihime is immediately sidelined while Ichigo fights alone.

Again this isn’t to hate on Ichihime, cause I love their cute little faces with all my heart. It’s to illustrate that misogyny prevents love stories from being genuinely compelling to watch. It matters that Orihime is sidelined not only because it’s unfair but also because it affects how we perceive her relationship with Ichigo.

My main problem is that to a lot of people who think romance is “girly” it doesn’t matter if a female love interest is a sexist archetype or not. Because shounen is for boys so why should romance matter. I think this is a disingenuous way to look at these stories. Romance should not be less important to boys because boys also experience romantic attraction. And these creators chose to have romance, therefore the romance should matter. It’s genuinely as simple as that.

If Hak and Yona weren’t love interests, Yona of the Dawn would be a totally different story. But if Naruto and Hinata or Orihime and Ichigo hadn’t ended up together, Naruto and Bleach as stories would remain unchanged. And that matters to me. Relationships, platonic or romantic, change people and narratives. These relationships should be so integral to the plot that the whole thing is different without them, and they just aren’t.

[arthurtaylorlester]

malevolent season 4 was... something, that's for sure

i want to preface this by saying i LOVE malevolent as a show and this is no means an attack on the creator or anything like that, i don't think i'll ever stop listening halfway, no matter how i feel about it. i'm not saying season 4 is all bad either.

it is a deviation for malevolent, though i found it VERY well written up until part 31 (and part 31 is my favourite malevolent episode ever)

s4 started off really strong for me, part 29 set the tone really well, much lighter after s3's emotional lows. the butcher was an interesting enough new villain to put yarson aside for now. part 30 had some charming moments, but the real star of the early season was part 31, a truly incredibly written and directed look into arthur's psychology. it truly gave us everything, from lore to highly comedic moments (to me)(no because why was arthur dreaming of waking up next to a shirtless man who tried to kill him)

parts 32 through 34 i'm not sure about, but i can write them off as awkward mid season points. part 34 was an interesting shift in perspective, but here is where my doubt's about the season's villains started rising

but the oscar & scratch arcs.... guys i'm gonna be honest, i might be oscar's #1 hater

scratch and oscar in this season were functionally useless filler. it's not unusual for arthur and john get sidetracked during their missions, but it usually ends up leading them right where they need to be by the season finale. this felt like a parenthesis that killed any tension created by the butcher.

this season had, quite unnecessarily, 3 antagonists. now this wouldn't be a terrible idea, had they been established before. but no. for some reason it was chosen to leave the only villain we could genuinely be afraid of alone, in favour of introducing not one but two antagonists yet to be established. neither because of this have the adequate fear factor (the butcher is better about this) and both get the most abysmal ends i could've imagines. what do you mean scratch is just gone like that after causing some emotional conflict with his deal. what do you mean the butcher was KOed by the fucking priest with a bedpan? what? that's it? you expect me to be scared or even care about the butcher now?

speaking of the priest. i want to like oscar i really do but. he's a terribly written character. we get to know him while arthur is teaching john intimidation tactics so out of gate our initial impression of him is as someone meek. and then in part 36 after "sorting out" the butcher, oscar just dumps out his trauma point blank to someone he's spoken to a handful of times in the past 3? 4? days.

malevolent in general has a bit of an exposition problem, but it usually works out if it's john expositing because. that's literally all he can do. but when a character with more agency do it, it makes them flat. oscar didn't have to tell us all that, he didn't have a reason. arthur confessing to 7 murders isn't a prompt to make himself vulnerable like that. i did not start caring for him, just because he had a tragic backstory. that's... not how you get someone to care about a character. oscar could be defined as a static character, and while it's not too unusual for a static character to be the focal point of an arc, i don't think it works the way most authors think it does.

also the worms in the farm only happened because of him messing with the stove so like. that's not helping his case.

the completely unnecessary farm arc concluded, we return oscar to the hospital, with arthur caving very quickly to john's demands if he truly cared about oscar so much. and so, a single episode before the finale, we get properly acquainted our main ally for the showdown. a choice definitely, but i feel like this one worked out pretty well considering noel had time to simmer before we got know of his past + he had interesting conflict with john and arthur.

and then there's the big one, the thing that appalls me entirely. leaving larson and yellow, the main villains of the finale COMPLETELY alone until the very end. why? why would you choose to not use them earlier? we spent so much time away from larson, so we weren't really as scared of him as we were at the end of part 28 (i literally was listening to the last 15 minutes of this ep on my toes because i thought he might do something) and we had had no CHANCE to even fear yellow, since we knew nothing of his power?

and what, the butcher is on our side now because noel granted his release? just like that? i know he's a contract killer but arthur insulted him to his face, he can believe they understand each other but did he feel no anger?

the finale did well, considering the context it was given to work with, though i did not understand the point of the memory thing... that didn't go anywhere? because not arthur nor noel actually lost anything. we don't know what the box was for, we only know some guy wrote "the birth of my son" on slip of paper and put it in. arthur assumed it was a memory, when it just as well could've been a literal offering, arthur assumed it would involve losing said memory, and they assumed it was related. initially i thought it would only go through if the ritual took place, which, it didn't. but reading back here is no further clarification on it. hold your angst horses, blindfaith enjoyers

i feel like john physically manifesting, if now an established power of his, was very cheap. unless it was a one-off, or some sort of power up, it just literally took away the main premise of the show. an all-powerful god rendered powerless by being stuck in some guy's mind and being forced to confront the troubles of someone infinitesimal to him. if you let him astral project and save people, then what's the point?

but i do actually think it was a one-off, so we'll see how it goes

simply put, john saving arthur when he jumped in s3 had more impact than this because he did it with a single, human, hand. no magic.

it was pleasant to have kayne and his expected chaos back, jarring as always. john's deal was exactly what we all thought it was going to be, maybe more about himself than arthur, but i don't think anyone can fault him for that.

one things though, and this questions may just be me not remembering, is arthur supposed to know that yellow is a separate entity from john when they realise larson has him in his head? because i remember arthur just assuming that 'yellow' just had all of his memories returned in part 23, and therefore not knowing that he's a separate guy from john.

just in general, i feel like s4 had a LOT of good ideas that weren't given enough room to breathe and therefore weren't written very well that really weighed down my enjoyment of the season. that's not to say there weren't things i liked. the emotional moments hit just as hard, like reconciling with daniel, the comedy was on point (genuinely this season was so funny) and even the most out of pocket thing arthur has ever said, calling john a child, no matter how much discourse it caused, was actually sort of in character for him? i mean arthur is an asshole so like i get why his immediate reaction to his severely emotionally unintelligent friend being possessive is babying him. they're awful people. they deserve each other. it made somewhat sense in retrospect.

all this to say, while i didn't hate s4, i think it had a lot of writing issues, especially when comparing it to the other 3, and it could've been done WAYY better but hey we all have our moments.

i await anxiously intermezzo's public release and the rest of season 5 👀

[genericpuff]

Im trying to write a Hymn of Demeter based story element in a story with many characters, but want to avoid possibly being offensive to Greek mythology. I know many comics bend the rules a bit and take inspiration instead of full on adapting the mythos. Any advice on good comics that meet in the middle with this, or ways to avoid this so I don't end up accidentally having similar problems to stories like Lore Olympic. (For reference I have read Plunderland and Theo mania, just if you have any tips I'd greatly appreciate them!

My presphone is already on the more serious dark humor side get shit done side so it's definitely not 100% accurate to the hymn

You'd be better off asking someone who's actually Greek when it comes to cultural respect, that said, Lore Olympus disrespecting Greek myth doesn't really have to do with it being a modern interpretation or taking creative liberties with the original story and its characters, it has more to do with how much it's morphed public opinion and knowledge of the myth both through how it doesn't regularly remind readers that it's fanfiction and its creator who claims to be "better read" on Greek myth on other people (which she very clearly isn't). Even Hercules is frankly more respectful towards its source material than LO in spite of all its inaccuracies (Hercules' name, Hades trying to overthrow the Underworld, Zeus being a loyal husband, etc. lol) because Disney makes it clear it's meant to be purely for entertainment purposes for general audiences (kids and parents!), and you can tell the animators and artists put a lot of work into stylizing a film that was uniquely Greek. Plus the writing and characterizations are genuinely well done, it doesn't feel like it's spitting in the face of Greek myth like LO does lmao Supergiant's Hades and Hadestown also attempt to tell either retold or completely new stories through the lens of Greek myth characters and settings. Even works that aren't retellings like Final Fantasy XIV manage to include Greek myth references and parallels without being disrespectful to Greek culture or myth as a whole.

The real beauty of Greek myth is that it's something that's been retold and re-interpreted into all kinds of works - the stories and its characters are timeless and can be adapted into just about anything! There's always more room for fun and unique Greek myth interpretations, retellings, fanfiction, etc. just be on top of your research and be clear in your goals and intentions with your audience (whether you're trying to do a serious and accurate retelling vs. using Greek myth as simply points of reference vs. writing cozy fanfic of Greek myth material etc.) !!!

So unless you go around calling yourself a "folklorist" or allowing whatever readers you gain to run around calling your work fact, you're likely not gonna cause the same kind or amount of damage to the Greek myth community and its stories that LO has (￣ω￣;)

[demonqueenart]

Hey, thanks for bringing this stuff about DnP to light! Obviously, as a someone who’s been a fan of theirs (and still is) for about ten years now, it’s a hard pill to swallow, but even when I was younger I could tell that some of the jokes/statements they made were definitely in poor taste. I never acknowledged the wider hurt it may have caused, though, and I’m definitely learning to be better than that and listen to when poc are talking about these issues.

I guess there’s definitely an element of defence, particularly in this day and age, where people immediately assume that their faves are being cancelled and they’ll rush to defend them to avoid that from happening. To be fair, I’ve been that person before in the past, but I’ve learnt to internalise that “no, people aren’t trying to cancel DnP or ruin people’s fun, and believing that is simply immature; we are simply holding them accountable so that they can make amends and make the space more inclusive to everyone.”

I know there isn’t anyone that you can fully trust, but DnP have always shown capacity for kindness, acceptance and inclusion (as a trans person, I noticed over the years how they became more and more trans inclusive with their language, which was nice to see), especially with their recent support for Palestine which so many other creators have not bothered to even talk about, so I want to hold out hope that they would genuinely want to make up for what they’ve done, and I really hope they do. We all hope that. In the meantime, it’s up to us a phandom to make the space more inclusive to poc fans and to allow this conversation to happen without getting scared or angry or defensive.

I’d also like to point out, even though I know that this isn’t in any way related to the conversation at hand, that I was personally disappointed by a tour announcement because I knew I wouldn’t be able to go. Even though the most basic tickets are technically cheap, they’re still not accessible to a lot of poor people, and considering the UK is going through a cost of living crisis right now, it was certainly a bit of a slap in the face. I will admit, I was incredibly surprised that Dan put WAD on YouTube for free, so there is obviously a growing understanding on their part that their tours aren’t accessible to everyone, so I’m hoping they’ll find a way to make this new tour accessible, but I still think this tour has a problem with exclusivity in a LOT of different areas, as you’ve pointed out. I have friends from different continents who have complained about the exclusivity of the tour, even from friends who are in Europe (but aren’t in the more Western parts of Europe; there are no shows in Greece for example, despite the fact that there’s a large number of English-speaking phans in Greece).

One last thing I want to mention, though, I saw an anon talk about the subtitles on their videos. I have sensory processing issues, and I’ve always found that their videos have proper subtitles on them. I’m not sure whether I’ve missed some videos, but I’ve watched a substantial amount of their content and I haven’t found the subtitles to be a problem, so I’m wondering if perhaps the subtitle issue might be an individual issue instead? Again, I really don’t want to assume if I’ve got something wrong, but for me personally, DnP are one of the only YouTubers I’ve been able to trust to have proper subtitles on the majority of their videos, so that ask confused me. If anyone’s able to clear up that confusion, I’d appreciate it, because I don’t want to misrepresent someone else’s experiences just bc they don’t match mine.

Anyway, I’m really sorry for the long ask. Again, thank you for bringing this all to light, and I really hope things improve. I will always love Dan and Phil, and I trust that their hearts are in the right place the majority of the time, so I really do hope they grow from this. I’ve seen genuine growth from them over the years already, but there’s still a way to go, and none of us can shy away from it no matter how much we want to.

Stay safe, and have a nice day!

I'm glad I can be the one to shed light on racism and normalize talking about it in this community. Back when we weren't able to have this discussion properly, I would have never expected people to ever understand or accept me in this community again. I was told by many of my well-intended friends who've been here longer than me that the only way to move forward was to make peace with the racism that was happening here. (And don't get me wrong, they meant well and they’re a very good friend of mine for that. They didn't have to support me when I was at my lowest, when I was so damaged from it I could hurt them so easily. But they did it anyway because they cared. Some of them may not even share the same worldview as me, but that has never been a barrier for them to reach out and say they support me.) What I'm trying to say is, that the phandom was that bad before: The only way to survive as a poc who's being oppressed by this community in the past was to shut up about our experiences, or leave.

So when I saw your ask, able to articulate a full understanding of the situation of what's going on here, it feels like I had served my purpose. For the past fifteen years of this fandom's existence, we have never been able to talk about this until now. And yet, me and other blogs talking about this have managed to make an impact, enough to make us finally open up about it. A lot of you feel safe enough that you no longer chose to go anon by it now. That is fucking amazing. I hope that it has been healing and educating for all of you, and that we as a community will be able to move forward in the right direction this time :)

As for the subject of subtitle issues, I would admit I don't know a lot about it too much, since I never have to use it. From what others have said in the tags, it seems older videos had proper subtitles, thanks to the free community captioning. But ever since the hiatus, everything has been all over the place and they might not have that proper system to rely on anymore?? I don't know much, so if anyone is interested in expanding more on the subject, or more to where the op of this ask can be coming from, I would love to hear more. We should know what exactly happened so we can bring this to dnp to see where we can improve. (Also, I’m glad that ask opens more discussion about this now. And I didn’t realize it’s disability pride month, yay!)

[ID/ a banner with light blue sparkly background; the disability pride flag slides in from the left and darker blue text pops in reading "Make some noise for Disability Pride Month!!" /end ID]

Banner by dapg-otmebytheballs

Auto-message: This ask’s purpose is to acknowledge dnp’s past/present exclusivity, not to cancel them! But to embrace mistakes that they’ve made so that 1. we won’t exclude people in need in this community, and 2. we can normalize bringing up exclusivity so that improvement can happen. Hopefully this will one day help dnp realize that this is a safe space for them to talk about their mistakes, so that this space can become safe for people of all kinds too <3

*If you don’t understand what is happening, scroll through my blog for context. And I’ll be taking time to answer my asks, so don’t think I’m ignoring youuu*

[shinesurge]

Magically, I haven't really had to mute that "tumblr isn't dead Actually" post yet because most of the shitty responses are just people who are frustrated about not getting more engagement. WHICH I can understand for sure seeing as I've been making a comic for a decade that has 196 followers on tumblr lolol. I've been doing okay lately but I'm DEEPLY mentally ill and it's absolutely exacerbated by my career, y'all who have been around a while know i am DEFINITELY not salt-deficient in my own time.

mostly i just feel bad because like. man what would you like me to do, i made my point and none of their blogs disprove it. i know i'm REALLY not an example of Success™️ or whatever (my comic is on a six month timer literally right now, i'm working with dogfood over here lmfao) but if you're ONLY feigning enthusiasm with the EXPECTATION that you'll get Something in return that's not going to work either. tumblr, but also most nerdy social medias, is best for people who are obsessive about stuff. i said fandom in the original post but there are thriving craft communities here! there are weightlifters! it doesn't MATTER what the thing is, you just have to genuinely be into it to an embarrassing degree, and want to hang out with other people doing the same. that's how communities work.

this issue plays out /constantly/ in the webcomic community, SO many people show up to get popular or whatever with no intention of reading anyone else's stuff, or reading other comics is A Chore rather than a cause for excitement. Almost all of those projects die early because the creator gets burnt out, because webcomics are fuckin hard and thankless and the ONLY reason you keep at it is because you love it yourself and can't help but make the thing. and then you stick around long enough to find the other freaks who are also too stupid to quit, and now you have friends lol

I really feel for the folks who are so frustrated, i have one foot there pretty much all the time. but you can't fake this stuff, and unfortunately i do not know how to explain this concept to folks who don't even realize where the problem is

[mycatishandsome]

AMA: My Experience as an Experienced “Shifter” and Where I am Today with it

So, I don’t ever talk about sifting anymore really, even to the friends I made through the sifting community, but I’ve weirdly been seeing a lot of sifting posts on my main and thought that it couldn’t be a coincidence- especially since I hadn’t been looking for the content. Tumblr is very specific about their algorithm I’ve found. That was weeks ago though, but for the first time today, I actually thought about shifting.

For a bit of context- I used to be a very popular shifttoker on TikTok years ago. Obviously im not anymore. I did it for about a year- met some great people, and some others not so much. It was exciting while it lasted, but i moved on after i started to notice all the drama, and genuinely got so annoyed so i left. Before shiftok, I was already very spiritual and using my time to consistently look into techniques especially regarding meditation, lucid dreaming, and astral projection. I never did figure out astral projection, but became what you could call a “master” of lucid dreaming. I was doing it every night, several times a night without waking up or causing problems! Then deeper into my research i found out about shifting.

It was much like lucid dreaming, or at least it followed my theories about dreams- that when we dream, we’re technically in another “state of existence” much like astral projection, where our consciousness is leaving the body. I couldn’t find much info on it honestly, and what info i did find either led back to TikTok, or to ancient spiritualities and religions, and I genuinely couldn’t decipher half the stuff i was reading from them. My mistake, was i went to TikTok instead of trying to understand anything else. TikTok, I genuinely believe, has done irreversible damage to what actual shifting is, and if you were anywhere near shiftok in 2019-2022ish, you know exactly what im talking about.

BUT that’s not what this post is about, I wanted to talk more about my experiences (just wanted to add my history :))

My first shift was actually not too long after i found out what shifting was, I can’t entirely recall the method i used- no its not one of the fancyshmancy ones we see all over YouTube. It was something more simple, like a genuinely simple meditation, and at this point i had gotten very good at meditating- shutting my mind off and feeling everything but nothing (if that makess sense). It was unlike anything i had experienced, ESPECIALLY lucid dreaming. It was really just a mirror image of this world, with some differences, so nothing crazy. It was after i had found shiftok that i decided to join in as a creator and share my experiences, as I was actively shifting.

This was another mistake, as i found it more difficult to shift after this, but again- this post isn’t about that.

I was actively shifting for about 2-3 years before I eventually stopped. Why did I stop? I started to see really negative results in my real life (cr as some call it). I had some real elaborate realities I would go to, some were planned to the most minuscule detail, others not as much. But i had a blast regardless, and genuinely learned so many new things. I stopped when I started to really look at my life here, which when i was a creator, i always would tell my followers to ground yourself here, to never look past what’s happening here. It’s easy to get lost in your many lives, but it’s not worth losing this one. I really should’ve followed my own advice though. In my life here, I was still in college, had just broken up with my boyfriend of a year, had some shit friends, and a job at a library (which was honestly the only good thing). My life was boring, and I was living out what i wanted, through shifting. Which isn’t entirely a bad thing, just not the best thing.

Once shiftok when to shit and i had left, I had kind of “healed” myself in a way and created a new relationship with shifting, i was shifting regularly again. It was also at this point that I started to come up with more theories about shifting other then the whole, “we’re tuning in to another consciousness”. I’m by all means not saying that isn’t what it is, but we don’t know for sure if it is, so i was just having fun, as a regular shifter and lucid dreamer, trying to figure out other explanations.

I havn’t shfited in god knows how long. I haven’t meditated either. And I sure as hell haven’t lucid dreamed. It sucks to kind of lose something that was such a huge part of your life, but for reasons that has made my life better. I now have a partner of 2 years, im back in school for my masters, and im generally happy with my life :). The first time i have thought about shifting, was this morning when i woke up. Something happened earlier this week that has caused me great stress (family related) and one of my thoughts were “man shifting somewhere else would be lovely” just this idea of not having to deal with anything really. This thought process isn’t healthy, and by no means should you shift to escape anything. If you choose to do this (let’s face it, lots of us have or will), just understand the consequences.

If anyone would like to hear any shifting stories, methods, or theories or just any questions, please ask! I may not shift anymore but i love talking about it :)

Thank you for reading :)

[rouge-fauna]

I paid to see the podcast to see what they said about dream.

Tommy said that he priv messaged dream many times to try to solve their issues and it went nowhere. Tommy called dream selfish and self indulgent and was upset by how dream took his video. He spoke about how after 'if youtubers were honest' video dropped dream sent a long angry dm which made tommy hate dream and block him but prior to that tommy percieved his video as a joke and didn't expect dream to get mad at him, tommy said that his friends were telling him that dream would drop him and tommy told him that wouldnt happen and he told jack back then that dream isnt mean. I have a problem with this for a lot of reasons like ofc dreams gonna get mad at you the video mocked him badly and caused his family to get harrassed. Tommy said hes done with the situation and he doesnt respect dream, he said dream didnt take accountability for anything, he said he and dream were close and that he looked up to him and that the whole situation makes him upset, he said that dream lacks guilt?? He said that the situations made him focus more on comedy gigs irl and pretty much quit youtube in a way. Tommy says he believes that dream manipulated him for their whole 3 friendship.

Jack said near the end "I don't think dream is even realizing what hes doing. I genuinely think he lacks the ability to read social cues" which is like no shit sherlock, dreams autistic. Jack talks about the problems he ahd with dream from his stream such as bringing up that priv dm he and dream had, jack said he doesn't hate dream but that he doesn't understand him, and he doesnt understand why dream got involved and said the r slur. Jack said that in his priv call to dream he couldnt tell him the full reason on why he doesn't like dream, jack says that dreams reddit post where he said 'back to gaming' felt insensitive and ddidnt feel like his apology was legit. Jack says that you cant apologize then just redo it again.

This was a very painful annoying watch and I mreally mad. WHy does dream get misconstrued this badly. Its just rlly said seeing someone that dream cared for constantly go on and on about how he 'manipulated' him when all he did was give youtube advice and have some angry justifiable rants. And tommy srsly believes this shit, and jack points out that dream struggles with social cues and social norms but still twists everything dream does like be fr rn.

Yes I didn’t even watch the video but read summaries like yours and I’m second hand triggered (no I don’t have proof of that lol :p). I talked a bit about what Jack said in a previous post before I remembered this was in my inbox… oops. But “no shit Sherlock” sums but my thoughts pretty well lol. I also found it interesting that Jack said he didn’t know why he disliked Dream, making me think it’s again - because of his inherent instinctual hate of autistic people in general. I also found it interesting that in the podcast Jack said he does hate Dream he just doesn’t understand him, but in a previous podcast episode he says how he’s always hated Dream… so which is it Jack?

He also apparently talked about how he doesn’t think Dream is a pedophile and yet has not problems making jokes about it for over a year… okay Jack whatever. That’s screwed up either way but… almost worse if you don’t believe it cuz now you’re just bashing his image and you know it.

I also found it weird how evidently both Jack and Tommy talked about how it was impossible to handle things with private, since as we know other creators have and we’ve even see the results with creators stop shit talking about him afterwards. So why did Tommy, Jack, and Ludwig is it so hard… just interesting, clearly it’s not impossible otherwise Dream would have no friends whatsoever. And isn’t Tommy the one who used to be privately Dream’s friend but then publically bashing him? What do you mean it’s impossible to resolve things?! Bruhhh… now there is also something weird about that in general because, given I don’t know how he said it or the exact circumstances, but according to the summaries I was looking at Tommy both claims he didn’t block Dream and tried to resolve things, and yet in his video to Dream on YouTube it makes it seem like he’s had Dream blocked for a long while making it impossible to resolve things privately. So perhaps an inconsistency or perhaps I just don’t have all the facts. I don’t know.

It bothers me how Jack talks about Dream’s (wasn’t it back to coding) in his Reddit post apology, because for starters, Dream deleted the post and says on stream he deceived to stream instead and talk about it so that’s why he deleted the post. So honestly that’s a weak comments. And then I also saw that apparently Jack talked about how someone can’t just apologize and then redo it again. And I’m gonna be real. I disagree. I see no issue with apologizing and then apologizing better or apologizing that your previous apology was poor. And I find it rich coming from someone who’s bashed someone for over a year and has yet to issue and single apology for that. I’d rather someone who takes owes up and apologizes multiple times than someone who doesn’t at all. I also think I’ve said this before but the remarks about how Dream doesn’t take accountability or as Tommy talks about doesn’t seem to feel guilt weird, because Dream has to be the content creator who has apologized the most for so many thing, even the dumbest things he should even need to. Furthermore, lacks guilt and empathy and taking responsibility? Dream literally talks about how he sent that scathing long message to Tommy and how it went to far and he apologized. So what do you mean lacks guilt. If anyone lacks guilt it’s literally the Brighton gang who still haven’t apologized. Or Tommy who seems to feel no guilt over posting that YouTube video and sending even more hate to Dream. It’s ridiculous.

Finally, I just think it’s interesting how Tommy talks about how he thinks Dream is self indulgent and selfish after he literally spent hours on his stream making no money and spending hours on call, making no money. I mean he didn’t even really her the clout of being Tommy’s friend since Tommy publicly seemed to hate him. Dream is a lot of things but selfish isn’t one of them. If he was selfish he would’ve stream and stole all the views and reality would be so different than it is today… furthermore, I think it is telling how Dream and Tommy talk about eachother. Like Dream talks about how he respects Tommy and Tommy is a good person who makes good content, who has good work ethic and was a big part of what made the dsmp what it was. Meanwhile Tommy calls Dream a bad guy, says he doesn’t respect Dream, talks about how he manipulated him and he was such a bad friend and such. And like isn’t that in itself telling of their characters? That even in conflict one side is still complimenting and respecting the other side while they are calling him this bad guy. It’s just, makes it hard for me to side with Tommy, and perhaps people call that Dream being manipulative, but even so that also just makes Tommy an asshole for shit talking him period. It’s just not nice to call someone a dickhead or insinuate they committed crimes or are a pedophile or manipulator or harasser when those things just aren’t true and you know they aren’t. How is he the good guy in this story? Like even if you believe them, even if you believe that Dream somehow manipulated Tommy and took advantage of him, (how? I don’t know what is there to gain? He’s not gaining fame - already had plenty of subscribers from manhunt - he’s not gaining fortune - he’s not gaining like… Tommy have never accused him of grooming him or whatever so Dream isn’t manipulating him for anything like that, they aren’t even in person, so what is Dream’s motivation except friendship?) Tommy still isn’t a good guy in this story, as c!Dream says ‘treating the bad guy bad doesn’t make you a good person’…

[whatup345]

Ok, so y'all have heard of morally grey Donnie, right? But hear me out on this one: morally grey shelldon

So I know this sounds insane but listen for a sec. Shelldon is a super-powerful, most likely super-intelligent AI who became sentient after a super unplanned uppgrade messed up his intended personality. He was created and "raised" by an emotionally constipated 16 year old genius, who probably had no idea how to handle a sentient machine or even how to deal with emotions in other people, who could be dubbed morally grey in his own right. Does this not sound like the set-up to a sci-fi, robot apocalypse movie?

So there's two kind of concepts I have for this idea. The first one is Shelldon just doing messed up stuff because he wants to be a "hero". So he sees everyone in the lair trying to be heroes, and he wants to do the same thing except he doesn't understand morals to the point of actually being heroic. So think, like, shooting a petty criminal because "hey, you said they were a bad person"! This can range from a little thing that the brothers fix by explaining what it means to actually BE a hero, vs. Shelldon pulling a classic sentient AI move, and deciding that HUMANS are the evil which heroes need to fix. Chaos ensues as Shelldon tries to pull off what's basically a traditional villain scene, and the brothers need to rush off and stop him.

OR, the second idea, which I actually like better, is morally grey Donnie paired with a Shelldon who's actually worse. So picture Donnie does something bad; not outright villainous, but definitely not something he can share with the family. Shelldon finds out, and Donnie expects him to tell everyone. The robot has sentience after all, so he can go tell if he really wants to. But far from snitching, Shelldon is WAY too eager to help. He goes along with everything that Donnie does- Donnie is his creator after all, so he needs to listen! Donnie ends up going to Shelldon any time he does something genuinely wrong, because he knows the bot will help no matter what. But as Donnie starts to feel more and more guilty for his own actions, he starts getting more and more wary of Shelldon's willingness to go along with every bad decision. Except, he can't do anything about it, because he's the one who made those choices in the first place, so how can he fault Shelldon for just going along with it? Plus, the longer Donnie keeps going, the more he grows dependent on Shelldon's help to keep things secret, so he slowly starts to worry about what would happen if the bot turned against him. Shelldon himself is completely oblivious to this moral panic. He was programmed to help Donnie after all, so as long as he's doing that, why care about anything else? He has no problems doing ANYTHING that will benefit Donnie, whether that be enabling his behavior, helping him get away with it, or even encouraging him to do WORSE if he believes that it will help Donnie's cause. He doesn't get why Donnie is getting more wary of him, because he trusts his creator 100%, and genuinely believes that Donnie is doing good.

I don't know man. Funky lil' robot drone. He needs to go do evil.