#it feels so misogynistic

[captainkirkk]

A lot of A/B/O fics write this traditional society where omegas are slut shamed, and pressured to have children, and have limited bodily autonomy, and aren't able to play "masculine" sports, and are pressured to be feminine and small and thin and beautiful

It's just a genderbend AU with extra steps and a strong dash of misogyny

[ratbastarddotfuck]

if you're a white person taking pleasure in the idea that Trump voters of colour are experiencing racist violence from white trumpers because "they got what's coming to them" I don't think you're anti-racist at all, I think you were just waiting for an acceptable target, and you're also fucking weird.

Bad Person Deserves Punishment For Their Sins give me a fucking break and get yourself out of the fucking catholic church. you're all prison abolitionists until you see someone you don't like.

[ryan-sometimes]

I am starting to miss 2016 woke in some ways. Girlboss era I’m sorry I ever mocked you…

[999999999inadream]

toby fox needs to add like a bit of narration in deltarune abt kris like "they themmed they/themily down the stheirs" cus i cant go on seeing them constantly get he/himmed in yt comment sections

[avicecaro]

i will literally defend to the death women talking about getting an "ick" about male partners. yeah it’s kind of a dumb term but it serves its purpose. it’s my view that what’s talked about as "getting the ick" is actually looking back, rather than being looked at, often for the first time in a relationship. when you’re not caught up in the performance and charm of your relationship, when you’re a little disengaged, when you’re just looking at the guy. and you start to think … am i attracted to him? have i ever been attracted to him? and so yeah sometimes it’ll be tiny innocuous things. i don’t care if watching her boyfriend order dessert in a restaurant or carry a water bottle or eat messily or cry is the sudden tipping point when she takes a step back, really looks at the guy, and goes "what am i doing? i don’t even like him" like good for her for realizing and getting out. listen to your gut.

[dykedvonte]

You ever just see a Mouthwashing take that makes you want to bang your head into a wall? I literally just saw someone claim Curly couldn't have been emotionally abused by Jimmy before the crash because he was in a higher position of power than Jimmy.

-Shrimp Anon

The mouthwashing fandom has shown me that people genuinely do believe that certain types of abuse are not as detrimental as other types especially when they deem those immune/resistant, ergo, believing one is objectively worse no matter how it affects the person nor the intersections of power, history and dynamics at play.

Get ready cause this is a yap session:

Cause like it's heavily implied that Curly and Jimmy's friendship was toxic and abusive, pointedly in the direction of how Jimmy uses Curly's belief/comfort in him. Curly wasn't forced to enable Jimmy but he was emotional and mentally on edge around him in almost every scene in some way. Mental and emotional abuse are not contingent on what positions you have at work. Yeah, he's Jimmy's boss but he was Jimmy's friend first and it's like getting into Psych discussion to talk about how social power tends to overshadow any perceived organizational power in the human mind. People are concerned about their jobs ofc but they tend to hang onto and put more value/investment into their personal relationships, hence why there tends to be laws and restrictions around mixing the two.

I always see the sentiments that "Curly is a grown ass man", "Curly is bigger than Jimmy", "Curly is Jimmy's boss", "He just needed a backbone" as criticisms of Curly and while I do agree that on the surface level all of these to be true and viable ways Curly could've taken more control of the situation, I often look at the parallels of Anya and Curly as victims of Jimmy pre/post crash.

The way Jimmy talks to Anya post crash is how he talked to Curly in the pre-crash segments. It's hard to pin-point mainly because we know he hates and wants nothing to do with Anya compared to his contrary but similarly handled obsessions with Curly. It's a weird sort of "honey-moon" effect of abuse Jimmy does in terms of emotional and mental victimization. He is always horrid to Anya, always talking down or questioning her abilities and thoughts in a situation, this of course includes the harassment and assault. However, he has a moment of attempted gentleness/conditioning when he question her about the mouthwash when she's contemplating drinking it at the table. The key difference is he has no personal investment in Jimmy outside wanting nothing to do with him, meaning there is no sort of romanticized version of him that he can condition her off of. He knows this, hence, why he always reverts to trying to make her to scared to oppose him.

This sort of give and take of "kindness" doesn't work on her because she knows he is just doing it to take more from her than whatever he could possibly give but it reflects even the "softer" scenes between him and Curly where he always rewords or rephrases Curly's sentiments and concerns to sound more shallow. He is feigning a deeper understanding by reworking Curly's emotions into something bad and needing to be hidden. Everything is laced with envy and resentment, an outburst just around the corner, I mean he even slams the table in the birthday party scene, a tactic in emotional manipulation to set the victim on edge and cloud their ability to respond. Even if Curly knows Jimmy won't get physical in that moment, the physical actions is intended to make him back down in the confrontation in case it does. This is something that is just not person specific. It ingrains itself into how you interact with the world and life and it shows in major and minor ways with Curly.

Post-crash, the abusive nature is more in tandem to the physical victimization Anya went through and the stripping of voice and autonomy we see take place. Like the parasite in HFIM, Jimmy speaks for Curly most of the time and puts words in his mouth, similarly to how he takes Anya's plans as his own. He very commonly, with the both of them mind you, supplements the worst aspects of himself into them; pettiness, selfishness, lack of understanding... And tries to cover himself with their best qualities; kindness, planning, initiative, etc...

These parallel are just to say that positional power has little to do with if a person can be abused and how it can even be flipped to further the abuse. There is no doubt that Curly could've picked up on Jimmy's envy of his position hence another reason he never confronted him as a Captain but as a friend as doing so would immediately put Jimmy in a space to be confrontational/combative.

I think the disdain some people have when they talk about the heavily implied if not implicitly stated emotional/mental abuse Curly experienced being Jimmy's friend is when treating it as an excuse to why he didn't do more. I can understand that completely because it is not an excuse to why he didn't do more but is a very real reason people in his position in these scenarios can experience whether in the context of a work or social environment. However, I also think the way people talk about it really does demonstrate a bigger problem when talking about abuse when somehow who is/was abused is either part of the issue or enabled it.

Harkening back to the sentiments about Curly's inaction regarding Jimmy, I think the exact phrases I used/have seen show how there is an inherent belief that it is easier to overpower the effects of emotional/mental abuse that go in tandem with the perception of Curly as someone who should be able to. There is not an age you suddenly stop being susceptible to abuse nor a set point or low where you realize how it has affected you. You don't suddenly know to stand up or put a face on to face your abuser nor admit that you inadvertently enabled them to subjugate someone else to the same treatment. Maybe it's my psych brain but their is this growing belief that direct action is somehow easy or always the best method with the game shows you instances where it is not always the case. In real life that rings true too. He should have done more, but it's not impossible to see why he struggled to find a way or didn't even if it makes us mad.

It's not easy to suddenly gain a "back-bone". You don't immediately want to resort to aggression, especially if it mirrors the type you were a victim to. You don't want to believe you allowed yourself to be treated this bad, let it get that bad or allowed something bad to happen to someone else. It is easy to be in denial, to retreat to your thoughts or make excuses to avoid the painful truth. It's frustrating but in a way we know is relatable. It why we both hate and love Curly for it. We know we'd be better, we think we'd be better, we like to think we wouldn't falter in the same ways but it's always easier to say that from the outside looking in. It's easy to see what he was doing wrong because we are seeing it, not him, but the game really does make you picture what you would do if this was your raw reality and it's why this debate about Curly seems so never ending/contradictory. We can all say what we'd do but bottom line is that's much different when you're in the moment with all the emotions and human feelings attached.

I personally think Mouthwashing tackles the themes of rape culture, enabling, toxic masculinity, types of abuse and patriarchy in ways that are meant to deconstruct the typical straightforward views we mostly have of these concepts and how little subtilities of them are just as, if not more, detrimental than the overt/obvious parts. The game deals with the idea of little details and bigger picture in a way to show that sometimes the bigger picture is not the issue but the little details that make it up. It's why I have a personal dislike of depictions of Jimmy as the typical horrible person who would of course do something like this because the game is about noticing the little warning signs, the foreshadowing and foresight.

It's why I dislike the typical discussion of "bro code" and "boys will be boys" for the game because the game makes a point to avoid the standard depictions of such. It is about the type of men who still enable despite not condoning, agreeing or even perpetuating harmful beliefs because they can't see the little details or the ways it seeps into their everyday. The severity is not obvious to them as it was not obvious to Curly, Swansea or even Daisuke the way it was to a woman like Anya. There are little details about Jimmy that should ring alarms but if you are too naive like Daisuke, too distant like Swansea or too conditioned like Curly, they are just off markers.

There is 100% more constructive/concise ways to say "Curly was a victim of Jimmy's abuse on an emotional and mental aspect that clouded his judgements and perceptions in the scenario" while also critiquing on the side of "Curly still had a responsibility to protect Anya as a crew mate and Captain that he failed to do due to biases and stigma's he failed to surpass" without the weird condemnation people give him about should've knowing better than to let himself be manipulated by a person he considered a close, if not family/best-friend and had his own reasons to trust initially. Also stop being weird about victims of abuse in general with this fandom, like sorry not everyone has a like social epiphany the moment someone's nasty to them. People are treating it like you immediately know when you are in a toxic relationship immediately or comprehend when a person is actively dangerous and either it's your fault for not knowing how to leave/cut them off or you deserve it. Like the hypocrisy of people believing how certain fans treat the story reflect their irl views but not their own is crazy.

End statement is: I honestly don't even know man, I've been writing this too long and just like no man on that ship was perfect or really helped Anya when it mattered and I feel like pitting them against each other in discussion on who did the least or most or how it was justified sucks cause in the end Anya always did the most and best thing for herself.

[tic-loud-tic-proud]

"Maybe white men wouldn't have overwhelmingly voted for Trump if it wasn't for feminists telling them they're bad all the time!!1!!" Weird how everything men do ends up being women's fault somehow

[langernameohnebedeutung]

gonna say, something or someone being misogynistic is on its own a good enough reason not to like it or not to spend time with that person. It's not just that misogyny is so normalised that not watching a show or not spending with someone just because of misogyny is treated as not enough of a reason - it's also that as a woman, you are under constant scrutiny and constantly thrown tests to show that you are 'not one of the difficult ones', that you can 'take a joke'.

But 'your friend keeps saying degrading things about women' is a good enough reason not to hang out with that person or not to go to a gathering. 'i read the last book by his author and it was deeply misogynistic' is a good enough reason why you don't want to read things by that author anymore. 'This comedian specifically makes a lot of mean-spirited jokes about women' reason enogh not to watch that or see that show, even if your friends want to go. 'This content creator keeps going on weird tangents about women' reason enough not to watch their stuff or support them.

and it is especially a very good reason not to date someone.

[mychlapci]

this felt genuinely perverse to make

[chainsawctopus]

You, me, and our loss of autonomy.

[k3n-dyll]

Female character that people hate and purposefully mischaracterize simply because she 'gets in the way' of their favored mlm ship get behind me

[softwaring]

honestly it’s so sad when children forgive their parents for a literal lifetime of torment and abuse like? they don’t and will never deserve forgiveness, point blank dgaf?

idk how ppl can move past that shit and i know therapy tries to teach ‘fOrGivEneSs iS fOr YouRseLf” like how the fuck is someone ignoring their natural instincts just to appease their abuser okay or normal? just because the male dominated mental health care field says so??

[anti-sexist-enban]

Hey, you realize "women can hit men and it doesn't hurt or matter" is sexism no matter how you spin it, right? That it's just perpetuating the idea that women are weak and powerless and men are strong and invulnerable?

And do you recognize that this applies to hurting them emotionally? Whether it be in a personal relationship or by saying things like "kill all men" in front of them? No matter your gender, no matter your reasoning, your actions can hurt people and it matters when they do, even if you see them as stronger than you because of their gender.

I've been hurt by the patriarchy too. But holding all men individually accountable for a structure they did not personally invent is not right. And even outside of that, responding to hurt done to you by hurting others does not heal any of your wounds, it just means more people get hurt and the cycle is allowed to continue.

[grendel-menz]

I find it a little silly when people hate on Taryn from tcp series because it’s like… she’s a teenage girl and also pregnant and being manipulated by a man leave her alone I’m sorry she’s not messy in a cool way like Jude or Cardan. The reason Jude forgives and helps her is because they’re sisters. Like that wholeeee family is a destructive mess in-laws included but they all clearly care a lot about each other

[sukibenders]

I'm a JayVik fan, I'm a MelJay fan, and I'm a MelJayVik fan (as well as a fan of all these characters), full disclosure, but it's really annoying how people in this fandom still only use Mel and Jay as props for Viktor, whilst ignoring who they are as characters outside of him. This is especially prevalent in shipping spaces where people will frame MelJay as being boring (they aren't, many people just can't get over themselves enough to see the value between them), to the point where you can hardly find things in their tag without it resorting back to Vik, over JayVik, but then, in turn, hardly add anything of equal value to Jay in JayVik regards, it's all about Viktor or how Jayce needs to make amends and grovel, but nothing of value besides making him the punching bag---something a lot of people in this fandom do (not saying all JayVik shippers do this, just to clarify). Like it's also very telling with the fact that you have two nuanced poc/poc coded (in Jayce's regards) characters, but can't/won't give them equal time of day as their white counterpart unless it's to elevate said counterpart (this is also prevalent in MelJayVik where some still completely push out Mel and make Jay oc just to focus on Viktor, yall are not slick). And this isn't me saying that you can't enjoy either of these ships or characters, nor dislike them, but it doesn't take much to see the flaws (and thinly coded forms of racism and misogynoir) that also play a role in this fandom. It's so frustrating to see.

[musashi]

i know the ace attorney fandom is just racist i know i know i know its racism I KNOW it makes no sense i can't try and make sense of it but every time i think about how weird they are about diego using a fucking innocent pet name for his girlfriend i feel fucking insane and then you ask them to elaborate and theyre just like "pet names are gross!!!" and im like ALWAYS??? OR JUST WHEN A BROWN GUY DOES THEM??? WHERE AM I??? ARE YOU FROM MARS???????