#it feels so legitimately stupid to me
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every baking recipe online or even just a video with an item containing sugar in it when someone in the comments or replies or anything is inevitability like "diabetes !! 😂 this is the extent of my joke 🤣 paula deen? !" like okay did you get some form of gratification from pretending sugar doesnt have a place anywhere in society. do you feel better. should we call wilford brimley.
#emergency broadcast system#like oh my god im trying to find recipes and i go into reviews and people are like#“well i replaced the sweet powder with just a bunch of eggs. just so many eggs. now i have an omelet??? 0 stars. youre rotting in hell.”#like... okay#or i was looking through ads for a good american foodstuffs and the comments just... okay if you dont want it. dont buy it.#and especially dont interact with it?#like omfg im trying to find my brothers some goddamn goldfish and ME some monster energy if im being real. can you just.. i dont even know#it feels so legitimately stupid to me
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kids when they hear that their dad is back in town VS. kids when theyre hanging out with a conman that accidentally stole their wallet once
im not even joking btw
bonus heres me being crazy about them in dms ^^^
#mob psycho 100#mp100#shou suzuki#sho suzuki#reigen arataka#i know sho doesnt actually BELIEVE his dad is back but even just that split second reaction is a weird one to have over your dad coming bac#he was like 'say sike rn... wait that aint right.'#shou watching them on the bottom floor while being isolated up in the corner at the end of the third stage play. and saying#'it's nice that they're so easygoing.' all wistfully???? im killing somebody#reigen calling him a poor thing and worrying about him DESPITE knowing his mischievous ways. ugh#gonna quote my reaction to clip rq#'bro [shou] heard him [reigen] talking about guardianship over children and making sure theyre safe over anything else and was like-#'this is getting too real for me i gotta make fun of him immediately.''#idc WHAT yall think to ME that was such a thick layer of defense mechanism that even though reigen's guardianship speech wasnt directed#at Sho he still felt the intrinsic urge to shoot back because of what hes experienced with people who are SUPPOSED to be protecting him.#would yall believe me if i told you i am totally insane#there are SO MANY THINGS. woven into their interactions that really enhance it#its totally silly! yes! but also! it is a legitimate ARC of GROWTH within their relationship! we watch as Sho starts off#with no trust in the man at all (although for a pretty good reason)#and over time he realizes hes NOT total shitbag#of course this doesnt mean hes completely vulnerable with him. its easy to infer that his distrust in certain people is formed from#a lifetime of being let down and incapability of dependency on certain trusted adults. his defense must be so heavily built up#even after gaining some sort of trust from Shou Reigen will NOT be exempt from his impish defense mechanisms.#sho will not make himself emotionally available as he would then be open to being hurt by someone else he thought could trust#his 'carefree and prankish' behavior is the wall between himself and such an intense feeling of disappointment and hurt and loneliness#but i like to think hes also just silly. hehe#man that stage play huh. shoots every fatal drug directly into my bloodstream#shou's trust and father issues VS stupid conman who has the common sense to not let children be beat up by grown ass adults. who will win.#i mightve forgotten something but. i think this is pretty packed full already so i am pleased. thank you for reading <3#meowmeow art
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oh my god today was so comically garbage and I decided to end it by trying to make waffles for myself which I have been doing multiple times a week for the last month and I know the proportions by heart and yet I got them incredibly wrong and then I was like "no worries I will simply make a double batch and freeze some of them" and then I got the proportions even wronger and now I have like five very dense very dry waffles instead of eight regular waffles that would have had the right amount of milk in them and I am going to bed and tomorrow the gremlins had better cast their eyes on someone who isn't me or I cannot make any promises about what I will do
#GREMLINS AVERT THY GAZE FROM MY PERSON#some days you just can't get rid of a bomb!!!!!#the part that I really don't like is that I seem to be noticeably stupider on days when I'm feeling particularly ill in a specific way#which makes me think that it's got to be a thing where I legitimately am not getting enough oxygen to my brain.#so that is fun. oh well!#sick#dysfunction junction#glimmer is very concerned because I am speaking loudly and animatedly to myself about how much this sucks#baby girl it's okay I'm just trying to regulate my emotions. by doing an impromptu stand-up act about how much everything sucks today.#do not worry about it.
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dungeons and daddies areas tour dublin live show highlights bcs i Can Not believe i forgot to post this before now:
-anthony going "hold on, i forgot something", going off stage, and bringing out his steam deck
-them doing the pledge of allegiance because "customs told them to" and eeeevery irish person in the crowd booing them
-a grenade got thrown on board of their boat and glenn IMMIDEATLY kicked it towards the nearest npc (he exploded. RIP evan dungeonsanddaddiesareastourdublin)
-anthonys dad fact: "i hate the english" got the most applause ive ever heard in my life
-NPC: "say sorry to me in irish. heres the google translate version of the phrase" ron: "this language is so easy guys!" "ahem. skibidi toilet"
-glenn did a rap break in the middle of the irish national anthem, he went "the socioeconomic factors behind the english fucking you guys over" and then did airhorn sounds. again the most applause i have heard since the anthony dad fact
-matt running a darryl vs. dolphin combat by himself for himself when anthony dissappeared behind the scenes again
-darryl accidentally killing a mermaid that was stuck in the motor of their boat and not telling the other dads. then later, when the mermaid army attacked them (by throwing a grenade on board, of course,) trying to fib that he isnt darryl wilson
-glenn, the boat owner/boat captain 🫡 (oh captain MY captain)
-anthony eating real life sushi off of real life william f. campos' dick
-will constantly going behind the scenes and coming out in different shirts, trying to convince different NPCs that he was a different person
personal ones because I Loved These ngl:
-anthony doing the sign of the cross when, during stuff signing, i told him i was cosplaying tony collette "in memoriam"
-i told freddie tony is my favourite character, then course corrected and said "oh well, WAS" and he said pretty much "oh yeah lmao"
-will fistbumping me after my partner gave him the fanart prints i made for the show (i was toooooooo fuckin nervous and they knew i prolly wouldnt have done it unless they had LMAO it was so cute of them)
-every cast member signing my partners trudy cosplays apron (an apron they had made for the show themselves!!! by hand!!! my partners so mf cool wtf u guys)
-anthony being. ngl so short that he had to do the biggest neck move in history to fit into most pictures and he did it even when he didnt have to lmao (he wouldve fit. just fine into ours without straining his neck but i dont think he saw our phone screen and he was used to it so 😭🫡 thank u king)
-literally everything from the show its been almost a week i cant believe it mfs we saw The Guys in real life!!
#dndads#dungeons and daddies#im the one in the tony cosplay#and my partner did the coolest trudy fit in history#SOOOO many people stopped us it was amazing im so glad we dressed up#i dont think ill legitimately stop thinking or talking about that night for like a year at LEAST#i dont think i can explain how much that night mwant to me genuinely#idk. i keep thinking of the depressed 19yr old i was a few years ago#who had one friend (who i still love to this day! but) who didnt understand any of my interests#vs the 22 year old me who has this deep insanely bone deep love for this one stupid thing. AND#I HAVE PEOPLE TO GO TO THAT THING WITH.#my partner and one of my best friends in the world flew out to another COUNTRY!!!! with me!!!!!!!!! for it and i. fuck man#i dont think i could ever describe that feeling of being there to any old version of me#ANYWAY THIS IS SAPPY!!! but ill keep being sappy about it later#glenn close#henry oak#ron stampler#darryl wilson#dndads s1#dungeondads#dndads areas tour#areas tour#dungeons and daddies areas tour#dndads s2#dungeons and daddies s2
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Murder trio
i actually cried seeing this in my inbox i will not lie. like actually fucking cried tears of joy /srs absolutely no words can express just how absolutely thralled i am that you drew this. i'm actually ACTUALLY so so overjoyed and flattered and so happy that someone could manage to encapsulate just how much i love the jk!trio and just how silly they are and how you put your own spin on this and made them just as cute and silly and amazing as i've always wanted to see I'M ACTUALLY CRYING THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR DRAWING THE JK!MTT 😭😭😭
im so sorry for the late answer i have literally had no time to draw but TYSM FOR THIS I DREW MORE JK AU 4 YOU TO THANK YOU❤️❤️💜💜💙💙 ‼️‼️
they just got out of an extreme gaming session at the boardwalk arcade and now the suns setting and killer wants to get ice cream before it sets so they can watch the sunset but as usual she's a bit too excited for horror and dust to keep up and dust is absolutely dying (she gets ZERO excercise and killer is FAST) and horror just wants to take her time and also spare dust from killer's wrathful running speed. its ok though they manage to eat the icecream while watching the sunset even while slowed down (the vibes in this one are immaculate this is what jk fashion au stands for. silly fluffy important friendship bonding memories. i love. it's not full effort because i wanted to get this done quickly so i wouldnt respond late but im UNFORTUNATELY busy and now its been a day,,,,, I STILL LOVE THE ART YOU SENT ME THANM YKJ SO MUCH)
#nobody understands just how much i love this#NOBODY DOES. NOT A SINGLE ONE OF YOU. NONE.#this means so much to me i actually cant even explain#i NEVER expected that someone would ACTUALLY DRAW JK FASHION MTT. I NEVER DID#I JUST MADR JK AU BECAUSE I WAS FEELING LONELY AND BORED AND I LIKED THE CONCEPT#AND SOMEONE COMES OUT HERE AND MAKES ART OF SOMETHING I DIDN'T EVEN PUT THAT MUCH EFFORT INTO#IM ACTUALLY OVERJOYED I CANT BELIEVE THIS#i love art i love expression i love experiencing joy from the kindness of others#i don't even cry that much but this legitimately made me cry. like seriously#and theyre so cute and theyre so happy and sweet and amazing#and the rendering on this is absolutely fucking gorgeous#and i love how horror looks cute but she's giving dirty looks and all that#and killer is JUST SO HAPPY AND GO LUCKY AND STUPID I LOVE HER#DUST MY ANTISOCIAL BABY SHE LOOKS SO EMBARRASSED TO BE HERE#THIS IS SOOOO CUTE I CSNT HELP IM CDRYING IM DYING#how long did this take. i need to know. i can't believe you actually made art of my cheap concept and it looks so good#god now i need to draw more jk!mtt. just knowing that there's someone out there that likes the au so much makes me wanna create#goddamn ink and his joy of creating. he's cheering me on in my head right now#THIS IS LITERALLY THEM. THE MUTED COLOR PALETTES LOOK SO GOOD FOR THE FIRST 2#AND THEN THE BRIGHT PASTEL THIRS ONE??? ITS EXACTLY THE KIND OF GIRLY PASTEL CUTE I LOVE WITH THEM#unrelated but when i saw this in my inbox and it was censored i was expecting to see gore or something. not THIS. christmas came early#i had to whip up a thank you response quick and fast because this is the biggest mkst flattering thing ever. how can i not be thankful#how much art will it take to repay you for your time and effort. i will keep making jk au art until its been repaid#i really wanna use this as my pfp but i dont wanna not credit you so can i pls use it for my pfp.....???? will credit!!!!! PLEASE PLEASE PL#maybe i'll just redraw one of these and use it as my pfp instead if that's ok. i need to change my pfp anyways#ITS STOLEN ART AND I CANT FFIND THR OG ARTIST AND ITS BOTHERING ME I SHOULD CHANG IT#i get all giddy and happy and giggly when i see this it means so much to me. this is the best thing thats happened in ever#tricule asks#tricule art#jk fashion au
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Is it bad if I'm on the fence about even wanting to watch Season 5? I know it sounds petty, and like I'm just being salty about my favorite character, but honestly? I never truly felt passionate about the show beyond just being something entertaining to watch until Eddie showed up. Without him, honestly, I just don't know if it's even worth it to me anymore.
#stranger things#eddie munson#feral raccoon boy#stranger things season 5#stranger things 5#stranger things 4#stranger things season 4#it's causing me legitimate emotional distress tbh#stranger things 4 vol 2#stranger things season 4 vol 2#joseph quinn#stranger things eddie#eddie munson fandon#i feel so stupid but it's true
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Everytime people discuss who should be in the leadership group and start writing fanfiction about how Mitch doesn't deserve anything and doesn't do anything for the leafs, actually, I just think about this article and wonder how we got here. I think he could be captain- I actually think he could be a great one. But I guess we'll never know https://www.nytimes.com/athletic/2469915/2021/03/25/mitch-marner-ohl-season/
reading that just made me so fucking emotional. i honestly think it would translate into great captaincy in the nhl too... he just happens to be on a team with auston matthews, so i get WHY it's like this (still.. if there was ever a modern case for co-captains but. too late now ig) but. i hate to say it's not the right market bc it's not his fault that this market is so fucking volatile and stupid so often, lmfao. like. he says things the same as anyone and i'll firmly defend that to death. i hate when people say even lovingly 'no he shouldnt do that' or 'i wish hed stop talking to them' like no, fuck you, lol. it's the temperament in toronto that's the fucking issue and more people should be seriosuly talking abt it and calling it out in the main journalists so they can be shamed and maybe learn responsibility. it's stripping so many of our players and staff from ever letting an ounce of personality or anything personal show whatsoever. it makes it so much less fun and WAY less marketable. it's just obnoxious to me, but mitch marner is someone who has SO MUCH leadership presence too.... like in 22-23 when HE was this team's mvp and the team was coming together to try to make stuff happen for him???? it echoes auston's chase for 70 so much. there's that other great article from a couple yrs ago abt mitch and auston and their personality differences but how both are leading the team and it's just so true. they're natural born leaders but even more than that, their work ethic and accountability to themselves is insane, you can just see it. i'm so sad we live with this era of social media as leaf fans sometimes bc it's genuinely so hostile and obnoxious to try to participate in, lol. mitch can be loud and knows how to point out when stuffs wrong and wants to work to fix it and hold ppl accountable. but on the same hand, he also wants everyone to feel like THEY can talk if they need to and that they're welcome there and valued as people and that's just like. a beautiful personality trait to have. that locker room would not be half of what it is without him, idec, lmao.
#easks#like all the media trained answers today just like flksjdfknjm made me feel so grim abt toronto sports in general lol#i love them all so mcuh and i wish i could hear their ACTUAL thoughts instead of just canned shit w no real sentimentality to it but whatev#guess thats what i get for getting attached to soem guys on this team flkjsdklfs#it sucks so bad man.#also i laughed abt that bench squabble from the end of last yr at first but now i just hate the way its brought up as legitimate proof of#anything lol.. bc mitch was the only one doing the right thing in the play they were all arguing abt AND he went on to score the only#goal of the game for the leafs to try to shift momentum#stupid to act like he cant show emotion but everyone else can#or the ~chill~ guy on the team bitching someone out in fake lip reading means anything when#he lacks dimension and vision of the players hes talking to lol
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Still trying to wrap my head around this bitchaloid arguing that, since someone sold her the wrong med at an entirely different store and we don't have the one she actually wanted in stock rn, I'm somehow responsible for it because I'm the only employee working at this hour and so I should BUY IT FOR HER AT ANOTHER CHAIN???
#HUH???#I'm telling y'all I will be dead and buried before I see every stupid argument from a customer#I kinda just stared at dumbfounded and she also got mad about that?#she threatened to film me and stand outside my store until her needs were met#so fucking weird#it's somehow worse bc I did legitimately feel bad for her due to the mistake but like#what#personal
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every time someone tells me I’m emotionally intelligent or good at reading people I’m internally like HA. good guess but I’m just a woefully inept person who’s convinced myself to behave like an advanced algorithm that obsessively studies people as data sets and reproduces said data through fine tuned pattern recognition. but like. thanks I guess
#like I swear I’m the biggest fake to ever fake I was legitimately convinced I was an unfeeling robot till I was 14#which is stupid because I was severely depressed and definitely had at least sad feelings#but seriously everything I do is so practiced. none of it is natural#I feel like I started smiling only because I heard that’s something you’re supposed to do when you’re happy#it wasn’t something that came to me naturally#everything I do and feel is so procedural#idk how to explain it but like. it’s all just advanced pattern recognition#that’s why I’m a good teacher I can break anything down to fundamentals anyone can understand and reproduce#and with enough practice everything feels natural#liveblogging.pdf
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I keep trying to write an update and then being embarrassed about it and feeling like I’m trauma dumping on people by updating and I just..I know it’s on me to manage my crap, I know. I am trying (not very well but I’m trying) and it’s just…I don’t know. I don’t even know.
#please know i have thought about hospital but hospital would#genuinely make it worse (like I cannot even tell you how much worse)#i think I’m legitimately just…having a trauma reaction on top#of a jewish trauma spike#and dentists and having to move (I may have cleaned till I shook today also my arm#does not look great#i feel like i don’t actually verbally have the words#(i have tried not engaging i have tried engaging they both feel awful)#(hashem i don’t know would you even embrace me would you…)#(it’s not a meds thing (I take meds for mdd and I know what that looks like and this isn’t it)#(it’s hard to explain the difference between CPTSD and like a panic attack or a depression)#(except that I feel like I’m so so tainted and not in my body or if I’m in my body I’m in my body somewhere else#abuse cw#i didn’t ask for this cptsd and no tshirt was offered#this will disappear probably#UGH#(i am seeing my therapist tomorrow i just..i know i need to reach out to)#(to like my current landlords and ask if I could just pay for a cleaning service to come in)#(i know i need to be like ‘unfortunately my CPTSD is Fucking Terrible Right Now and I need)#(just a bit of grace apologies)#(i do not want my parents to know i do not want that)#(aside from the fact that I am already a burden to them anyway)#a stupid flop of a person i am crying thinking about how i had plans for kids and a wife and travel and…I’m nothing#(everyone else is something I’m not I don’t deserve grace lbr)#it keeps running through my head how many people i thought loved me want me dead#and it’s like I can fake it so well#(i don’t know I may be like sending words to people)#to run through the steps of not being alone#i’m truly sorry i am always not taking accountability and playing the victim and clinging to people#to get reassurance i don’t deserve that its a good person it isn’t it isn’t a person
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reblog and put in tags the prominent musical artists phases in your life
#im just intrigued what music would consume you beyond repairrrrrr#if you're not acting a little crazy while consuming music are you really doing it right????#bon's queen gifset of sand made me think of this so bon if u see thissss#prior to 2013 i was a bollywood girlieeee and bollywood is almost entirely playback singing which an entire different thinggggh#2013 - enrique iglesias#2014 - maroon 5#2015 - coldplay#2016 - sam smith#2017 - ed sheeran & calvin harris#2018 - Queen & george ezra#2019 - p!atd (i KNOW) & khalid#2020 - harry styles & idkhbtfm & troye sivan#2021 - billie eilish & conan gray & hozier#2022 to present - taylor swift#vi.txt#the embarrassment i feel when i remember some of the absolute unhinged stuff i have done in some of then phases AAAAAAAA#i have never truly been a normal fangirl smh especially as a fucking teenager#in class 9 my friends and i LEGITIMATELY CUT A BIRTHDAY CAKE for shahid kapoor IN THE CLASSROOM during recess infront of all#he wasn't even really that popular at the time WHICH IS EVEN MORE STUPID GOD THE THINGS I HAVE DONE#and like i wasn't even that big of a fan but my closest best friend at the time was into him hence so was i#although in hindsight it was just because i had started exhibiting gay feelings subconsciously but wE wErE jUsT tHe bEsTeSt oF fRiEnDs ufff#im not wiser of course i can be tempted to be that unhinged again#the reblog game is just an excuse for shitposting this in the tags tbh#idk why i am even making this post tho#only friends has rotted my brain tbh#ALSO in 2015-2017 the internet stand up comedy scene was booming in india and that phase was truly even more embarrassing for me#it was the reason i joined instagram and the CRINGE i feel when i sort my likes and comments from oldest to newest GOODNESSS#truly an insufferable fan rip my mom and my friends#such a core teenage girlhood (genderneutral) experience methinks#if this flops.....you never saw it heheh
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after the years of people jumping on activism like its a trend and then leaving it behind after a few weeks i am so fucking tired. like not to be cynical but like i see SO many people talking about palestine and saving lives but like be so fucking real are you gonna forget all about this in a few months? like how ppl ditched BLM after it gained traction in 2020? like how so fucking MANY OF YOU have stopped wearing a mask despite the pandemic still happening? you could be saving lives right in your own town instead of posting tiktoks that might not even help
i'm not saying you need to dedicate your lives to activism forever and ever but you do need to at least change Something to make yourself and the world better. i will always be listening to black voices, jewish voices, disabled voices, any groups that need to be heard, and trying to change my behavior for the better. like idk after seeing this happen time and time again a LOT of this shit seems so so fake. like there's so many bad things in the world and i know you cannot dedicate your all to every single problem ever forever and i don't want people spreading themselves too thin or burning themselves out but like please don't just stop giving a shit when it's not "popular" or getting you views or pats on the back anymore.
#i keep seeing SO many tiktoks that are like 'it is not that hard to use the filter. there are people dying. you are a bad person etc etc'#and like ok yeah. using a tiktok filter is probably the bare minimum YOU will do before patting yourself on the back and forgetting about i#do you wear a mask? real question. if you're posting that shit trying to guilt people into using a filter answer me.#bc wearing a mask is ALSO the bare minimum to fucking SAVE LIVES. will you do that?#like. idk. i know you don't fucking care i know you just want to look cool.#do you fucking care if people die? or do you just want attention on tiktok. be so fucking real with me.#i can GUARANTEE you that you not wearing a mask harms more people than you not using the stupid fucking tiktok filter.#i can guarantee you that someone that wears a mask is still ten million times better than someone that just used that tiktok filter#if you wanna feel like a hero so fucking bad wear a mask. you will legitimately be protecting and saving people if you do.#also i hate to break it to you but honestly. theres not a lot that normal people can do in this situation.#theres still things you CAN do but there isnt a lot of options#so if you want to save lives so bad!! a well fitted respirator mask if the easiest way to do it right now.#its so frustrating to see people be like EVERYONE! DO THIS THING THAT HAS LITTLE TO NO EFFECT TO SAVE LIVES!!!#AND ALSO IGNORE THE THINGS THAT HAVE A VERY HIGH CHANCE TO SAVE LIVES!!!!!! fuccckkkk you for real.#oh also one more thing. ive seen some people use palestine as an excuse to be antisemitic. dont do that shit either.
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Either the people around me are lying because they don't want to admit they're wrong, OR I really am saying things out loud that I don't remember saying out loud, and NOT saying things out loud that I thought I had said out loud, and uhhhhh... that's concerning! :')
#I feel like I'm legitimately insane or have an extremely early onset Alzheimer's case or something#'cause like#why am I not knowing if I actually said things or not#and people keep telling me 'you said this other thing' or 'no you never said that' etc.#like is my brain really that fucked up orrrrrr#idk this can't be normal right??#I'm in a constant state of sleep deprivation and I sometimes take meds that make me drowsy but like#I shouldn't be acting like I have no brain matter left???#what the fuck is wrong with me#best of all is how people see me suffering and they're like 'yeah she's obviously forgetting stuff to be a bitch so let's be mad at her! :)#OR what I said before about how I'm not forgetting things and they're just lying to me.#I genuinely can NOT tell what is going on and it's scaring me...#but everyone blames it on me either way#I REALLY wanted to have a good day today but like. things like this really hurt :')#I feel like I'm too fucking stupid to function and I'll never accomplish anything#because I literally can't even keep track of what I'm saying or doing vs. what I'm just imagining#what the fuck I hate this#just put me down already
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Back on my bullshit 🙏
#look me in the eye. ba/tjokes is NOT about bruce falling in love w the joker#its about bruce's savior clymplex and the guilt of being unable to save his best friend (Harvey)#inevitably compelling him to latch onto a lost cause!!!!! he knows better and he knows he knows better#but if THE JOKER can be really legitimately redeemed then isnt there hope for everyone?????#isnt there hope for harvey??? for harleen??? for the countless others hes sent off to Arkham in the hopes theyll recover...#even if time and time again they simply dont????#and truly WHO is more emblematic of everything wrong w gotham than the Joker#making all of gotham better as one man must feel like a lost cause and that has GOT to fuck up your psyche six ways from Sunday#bruce aint stupid but it requires a certain level of stubborn naivete to dress up in a batsuit and go around as a one man militia#and i think that exact same thought process that has lent him so much strength is also ripe to be taken advantage of with the right pressure#nobody knows the joker better than batman.....and that makes the reverse just as true#it is not about the romance to me it is about the battle between good and evil rooting itself into every aspect of bruce's life#this is rambling on i gotta stop#the riddle rambles on
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a basic human right to privacy and solitude is just as important as being in community and being able to socialize
#I know that american individualism is a plague but My God I literally am so fucking deeply completely utterly goddamn burnt out#From being constantly unendingly forced into close proximity to other human beings every single goddamn moment of every single goddamn day#And holy fuck. God. Please. I fucking beg. Oh my fucking god like I'm legitimately so so desperate for any amount of peace and quiet.#God I beg. On my actual hands and knees. I want away from all these animals that aren't mine. I want away from all these people and noise.#Fuck me I want to be able to afford to live alone. God damn me. I don't need to live lavishly or even eat every day I do not care at all.#I want space. I need it. Prolonged lack of access to actual privacy and space is actively eroding me I can feel it more and more every day#Okay. Vent over. Time to deep clean my room with headphones for as long as my disabled already aching body can tolerate#Also um lmao I fuckin' hate the stupid rhetoric about how humans neeeeed to be social. America neeeeds to be forced out of individualism#Like yeah. But all goddamn offense I'm forced 24/7 to share space with humans and I can stand it but god fucking damn it cannot be constant#And it has been so rare in my experience that anybody I know is actually privileged enough to move away from home or be away from people#Like I'm fucking tired. I'm wore out. I'm over it all. I'm so autistic. I love people. Genuinely. That's the point of life.#But fuck I need time away. I just do. This isn't good and I can't stand it.
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ok so I decided to "go with the flow" and now I want to die about it a bit. (im being dramatic it's not that bad just annoying) basically I chilled with a classmate for two hours instead of one because I felt pressured to stick around longer since she seemed to like having me around which should be like YAYYYY SOMEONE THINKS IM CHARMING except that she's painfully heterosexual (she said she was straight bc i was talking about rv and I was like well im gay so obviously I like seulgi and she was like :0 oh cool! I didn't know that was a gay thing and I was like. oh christ. maybe she could be normal and now I've realized she isn't) get this: she unironically finds bang chan hot and her favourite member of wayv was Lucas and she still thinks he's innocent. she's nice to me but she's like. amongst the last ppl on earth whose opinions of me I gaf about. I want to be palatable to pretentiously artistic gay people with phds who are NOT RICH AND WHITE btw i hate elitists if that wasn't obvious
#anyway jesus Christ#shes nice to me in class and shes nice in general bur her cisness and heteroness are legitimately uncomfortable for me. and she talks way#too loud and i get awkward so fast and i feel really bad because she is really nice but i just dont agree with her opinions on music or her#cishet lifestyle either..#OH ALSO SHE THINKS THAT BTS BOY JIMIN IS ON THE SAME LEVEL AS TAEMIN????#and she has all 7 bts dolls.. why the fuck did i think she was normal.. i was stupid for expecting her to be normal#shes armenian so shes like ambiguously white but not really but yeah white kpop stan behaviour#z.post
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