#it feels quite poetic

[ace-in-a-very-distressing-hole]

had to explain in the most basic terms what nonbinary was to a six year old earlier. i asked him what he thought i was and he said “well you look like a boy but sound like a girl” so i said “well actually i don’t quite feel like a boy OR a girl. and this little bitch looks at me and just goes “so you’re a monster??”

well i’ll take that

hell yeah im a fucking monster

*monster mash starts playing*

[vaguely-concerned]

the strength it must have taken for illario to not immediately go full 'lmao since when have you even had a kiss hello lucanis' sibling violence mode during the café talk. inspirational. rook and lucanis really were doing all that right in front of his salad huh

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

ALEX TURNER, RIO DE JANEIRO, BR. by Zackery Michael

[babybells123]

I’m obsessed with them already

[gentlenotes-moved]

hi. does talking to your friends feel like a chore? does expressing affection to your loved ones scare the shit out of you? does the mere reality that people love you and want to be connected to you feel like a burden? you just might feel like you're putting on a performance! i mean, it's not like you really know who you are, right? after all, you're only doing what you've always known: hoping to find yourself through the reflection of others; hoping to gain love through convenience.

this act you play, it's tiring, isn't it? performing by the script that you've learned—well, the script you think will work. it's not like anything written is very original; everything written is stroked with the dark ink of your past, and penned by what other people seem to think is okay. you haven't really written anything yourself. whenever you do, it just feels like something goes wrong, perhaps you've hurt many people by trying to do so (including yourself).

so you play by this heavily edited script, and works! they like you, and you really like them. okay, so... now what? the script has ended; the play is over. alright, so know you think, well, they don't like me. they only like this script, this script i haven't even put myself into. this script only really contains the shards of other people, and is glued together with my faults and fears.

at this point, it feels like you're only reflecting whatever energy they're giving out to you. if they say they love you, you say it back. if they love the feeling of the autumn wind and the color brown, it's everything to you. they fill the husk of you with all of themselves to the point where you overflow. hey—hey. do you know who you are anymore?

your heart of gold is surrounded by many mirrors; you might have placed them there yourself, or maybe not. but you get to a point where this act and this echoing becomes exhausting. it's all you do, and it's really all you've ever known. it's not really others that feel like a burden, but yourself. you take your mirror and reflect, reflect, reflect. you try to turn it on yourself; you see nothing but your shadow, placed right behind where you should be.

look at me. i'm holding your hands and looking into your exhausted, yearning eyes. this hatred you feel for yourself, this rage... this feeling isn't shared by your friends or loved ones. i don't know how long you haven't known yourself, and i know you feel like you should want and need and love and hate certain things. these "shoulds" came from a place of abusive and trauma, and if it didn't come from other people, it probably came from yourself. so, please be gentle on yourself.

one day the brick walls you guard yourself with and the mirrors you use to reflect, they won't cause you harm anymore. it won't all go away all at once, but with time, you'll find yourself. it all won't feel so difficult, and things won't feel so scary. i love you, alright?

[spaciebabie]

dawg I just had the craziest realization about myself THERAPY IS WORKING!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!!

[thecatinthepurplepants]

just scrolling looking at what the crunchyroll algorithm would spit out at me tonight when I came across this category and uh

... the best huh? Aaare you sure???

Are you really, really sure about that crunchyroll???

[unorganisedalienrubbish]

I kissed his temple, what a wonderful word that is. Indeed he is to be worshipped, my temple to the god that is his soul.

I am a sinner praying at his feet, blessed to touch his sole to my lips if only to taste the ground he has walked on. Miles before me he has paced the earth and now I - a creature of abhorrence - have crossed paths with an angel. Our meagre lives past so different that I may dirty his clothes only by looking upon them.

A effervescent being, I lay a dog beside his throne for my ears only to perk at the sound of his voice. How blameless and kind he is only to grace me with his presence to allow me in the same room he is in, yet alone his periphery.

And still I press my lips to his skin, unafraid of reprimand for I know that in his eyes, we are the same. Our bodies only alike in the wars they have seen, but beneath run the twin-flame scars, the curse of otherness. He may be an angel but the fates were not kind enough to bless the world with recognition.

And, somehow, in his light I am holy, none of the filth I tracked in weighs on me now. Bathed of both the horrors I have witnessed and committed. Purged of all that has made me wrong. Forehead to forehead, chest to chest, palm to palm, and at long last I am whole

[steinwayandhissons]

arctic monkeys and every time the word ‘love’ is mentioned

whatever people say I am that’s what I’m not

tonight there’ll be some love, tonight there’ll be a ruckus yeah regardless of what’s gone before

~ view from the afternoon

oh there ain’t no love, no montagues or capulets

~ i bet you look good on the dancefloor

all that’s left is the proof that love’s not only blind but deaf… yeah I’d love to tell you all my problem

~ fake tales of san francisco

she makes a subtle proposition, I’m sorry love I’ll have to turn you down

~ when the sun goes down

lady, where has your love gone, i was looking but can’t find it anywhere, they always offer when there’s loads of love around but when you’re short of some it’s nowhere to be found

~ no buses

well how can you wake up with someone you don’t love and not feel slightly phased by it

~ leave before the lights come on

favourite worst nightmare

it’s wrong wrong wrong but we’ll do it anyway cause we love a bit of trouble

~ balaclava

and those dreams weren’t as daft as they seem, aren’t as daft as they seem my love

~ fluorescent adolescent

there’s room for the trouble and there’s lovers to be had

~ this house is a circus

it’d be a big mistake for you to wait and let me waste your time, really love it’s fine, I said really love it’s fine

~ the bad thing

old yellow bricks, love’s a risk… houdini love you don’t know what you’re running away from

~ old yellow bricks

another roll around and another push and shove, further away from the idea of love

~ da frame 2r

the more you keep on looking the more it’s hard to take, love we’re in stalemate… you’re slacking love where have you been

~ the bakery

am I too quick to assume that the love is no longer in bloom

~ too much to ask

humbug

i had a hole in the pocket of my favourite coat and my love dropped into the lining

~ i haven’t got my strange

suck it and see

i wanna feel your love brick by brick

~ brick by brick

do you still feel love is a laserquest or do you take it all more seriously… when I’m not being honest I pretend that you were just some lover

~ love is a laserquest

your love is like a studded leather headlock

~ suck it and see

jealousy in technicolour, fear by name, love by numbers… crushing up a bundle of love

~ that’s where you’re wrong

before she showed you how to shake love’s steady hand

~ the blonde o sonic shimmer trap

your love’s not what I need, so don’t give it to me

~ evil twin

am

it’s not like I’m falling in love I just want you to do me no good… the look of love, the rush of blood

~ no.1 party anthem

love buckles under the strain of those wild nights

~ mad sounds

I heard that you fell in love, or near enough

~ snap out of it

love like locked horns, love like dominoes… love like thunder, love like falling snow

~ electricity

I know you’re nothing like mine cause she’s walking on sunshine and your love would tear us apart

~ you’re so dark

tranquility base hotel and casino

love came in a bottle with a twist off cap, let’s all have a swig and do a hot lap… but it’s alright, cause you love me

~ star treatment

when true love takes a grip it leaves you without a choice

~ golden trunks

pattern language in the mood for love

~ the world’s first ever monster truck front flip

I wanna stay with you my love, the way some science fiction does

~ science fiction

the dawn won’t stop weighing a tonne, I’ve done some things that I shouldn’t have done, but I haven’t stopped loving you once

~ the ultracheese

the car

lights out on the wonder park, your saw toothed lover boy was quick off the mark

~ jet skis on the moat

put your heavy metal to the test, there might be half a love song in it all for you

~ mr schwartz

[that-shy-fanfic-writer]

What started as an interview (aka writing practice) to get to know my OC better turned into more of an introduction into who they are and where they come from, so I decided to fix it up and share it here. Enjoy?

Interview with my OC

Lavender: Okay, Mercy. They're all yours.

Mercy: Ooh, this is so exciting! My first real taste of social media! Hi, random strangers on The Internet! My name's Mercy Fey! I can't wait to share my story with you all!

Lavender: Don't get too excited. This is just to test the waters. Why don't you tell us a little about yourself?

Mercy: Sure! So first off, while I share traits with Y/N characters—or Reader Inserts, what have you—I'm not a Reader Character. I am my Own Character and would appreciate being treated as such.

Lavender: Wow, you just jumped right into that. Can you explain what you mean? That you share traits with Reader Inserts?

Mercy: I'm what you'd call non-human, or maybe human adjacent? I don't have a solid appearance so my features are always changing, hard to pin down. That's what I mean when I say I share characteristics of a Y/N. But I'm an OC. Please don't mix me in with them. Besides, I have a name and belong to a Creator, as much as I don't want to admit it.

Lavender: Why not?

Mercy: Why would any character want to have the self-awareness of the Fourth Wall? It means we're being controlled by forces outside of ourselves. It means we're not Real. I can't speak for all characters, but I'm sure the Truth can be mind breaking to some. However, while I don't like to admit I have a Creator, I can accept that I have an Author. Which is more fun, because that means I have just as much control over my person as she does.

Lavender: … Right. Would you mind sharing some things about the world you inhabit?

Mercy: Nope! I live in a pocket dimension on the outskirts of the omniverse, just this side of the Fourth Wall, at the edges of Reality. It's how I can connect to everything from the Real World while also Knowing there are a multitude of other worlds beyond mine that are Fictional. And I can access all of it right here at Home.

Lavender: Speaking of, what does Home look like?

Mercy: Well, it's empty, for one. Kinda like the anti-void, just pure white all around with a House built for me at its center. Or maybe it was created? I have no idea how it got here, but I'm pretty sure it's been here since the beginning of my own existence, and it can change its shape to whatever I want. The Background too, outside, depending on my mood. Sometimes, I'd want a forest setting, sometimes a city scene. Not that there's anyone else who lives in it. Just the sounds of a city. Like ambience or whatever.

Lavender: It must get lonely.

Mercy: Not really. I can keep my own company well enough. And if I'm bored, I have lots to do! There's a library that holds all the books of Reality and then some! Fanfiction too! And I've got a TV that plays movies and shows, some YouTube videos, blah blah blah. I've never had access to The Internet before now, though. At least, not like this! Especially social media sites. Oh! But I can break the fourth wall sometimes! When I want to—or rather, whenever the Author remembers. She forgets too, a lot. Hah! Anyway, breaking the fourth wall is usually the only way I can learn all the Meta things, like fandom theories, how people in Reality behave, The News. Awful times y'all live in, by the way. How do you cope?

Lavender: Let's move on. Is there anyone in particular that has, or had, an influence on you?

Mercy: Oh, yeah, for sure. The Author, mostly. Have I mentioned I'm completely non-gendered? There's absolutely nothing down there! Or up here! I checked! But because of the Author's influence, my pronouns are sometimes she/her because she identifies as female herself and tends to project. And sometimes there are characters I find cool and inspiring—like AVA by Inyahs and that one Frequently Isekai-ed Protagonist who, by the way, is a Reader Insert—so I'd say they have an influence on me too. It's one of the reasons why the Author can't pin me down. My appearance is vague at best and I can flip emotions, personalities, thoughts at the drop of a hat.

Lavender: Okay, we gotta wrap it up soon, so only a few more questions. What would you do if your favorite characters suddenly showed up in your world?

Mercy: Well, I'd want to play, obviously! My first time getting to meet people from The Outside? And they're characters I know? Heck yeah! I'll give 'em a whole tour, show them everything! And we can hang out and play!

Lavender: That's… very in character for you, I just realized. Huh. Speaking of showing them everything, what can you tell us about your powers?

Mercy: I have all the powers! This world is my playground, mine to control, so I can teleport to wherever I want to be the moment I think it, or float in the air, fly even! I can change what I'm wearing with a snap of my fingers! Oh! I can also change whatever I want in the House, down to the room count or the size of the rooms or the furniture, and even how it appears from the outside. Though sometimes I have to ask House for requests. It can't know what I want until I ask, but sometimes it can. It's as fickle as I am, I guess.

Lavender: Are you saying the House is sentient?

Mercy: Maybe? At least semi-sentient? Or maybe the word is sapient? I dunno. Sometimes it'll do things without my input—I just have to think and it does it—and sometimes it won't, even if I ask. It can also hold a grudge, apparently. I learned that the hard way…

Lavender: Okay, last question. What would you do if you found yourself in another universe? A fictional one?

Mercy: I guess that depends? Which world am I in? What are the Rules there? If I'm not even familiar with the world or its characters, I'd observe what it's like. Do they have powers or magic? Am I in an AU of a world? Space or Sci-Fi? What's the genre? Once I figure it out, I keep observing. If it's a world I'm familiar with, I'll mess with the cast a li'l, play around, since I know what's going to happen—or has happened—for the most part. And if it's a world I don't know? Well, it won't be too hard to figure out the ropes. I'm a pretty fast learner. Especially with Knowledge from the Author. What she knows, I know. … Sometimes. Sometimes, she doesn't want me to know so I'm blocked from Knowing the Plot. That's just how it be, I guess.

Lavender: This interview had been pretty insightful, I think. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Mercy.

Mercy: No prob. Now get back to writing my stories! I wanna play! Cringe is dead and fun is in! Go! Shoo! And to those who stayed to read the whole thing, thank you! Love you! Hope you enjoyed!

Lavender: Hey! That's my line! Scratch the love you part-

Mercy: Not anymore! I already said it. Now what are we still doing here, let's go!

[benoits-neckerchieves]

He is the absolute cutest 😭😭❤️❤️

Daniel Craig at the “Lara Croft: Tomb Raider" premiere, Los Angeles, 11/06/2001. Source: danielovemail on X

[kiawren]

Kiawe do you like boys that look androgynous and are kinda bookish and will say things that perplex you... does that charm you

Btw this is a version of kiawren I have fun thinking about, where Kiawe used to date Ilima (or it was sorta a no labels thing but pretty much a relationship) and they broke up and are on awkward terms. I mean Ilima lives on a whole other island. But maybe they dated right before Ilima left to study in Kalos for a semester. NOOO KIAWE DONT FALL FOR THE BOY THAT'S NEW TO ALOLA AND GOING TO STAY FOR A SEMESTER ONLY. THEY'LL HAVE TO LEAVE AGAIN. ARE YOU CURSED

That's why after Ilima he probbaly was like yeah he's chasing his academic dreams I should also focus on my cultural ones. No more Romance. ok maybe this boy with the pikipek is an exception

Also I just mostly copied ilima's face from the concept arts that's why his eyes are not my style...so he looks like a puppy

[peanutbutterandawesome]

You.

Yes you- no! not *you*, YOU!

That's right, You!

Look at me! 👁👃👁

Take a second real quick- breath deep for me, feel the air entering your lungs as you inhale.

*deep breath in* *slow heavy exhale out*

It's wonderful, isn't it? What a breath can do?

A few deep breaths can help you stay calm when you're stressed. Or if you're already panicking, then it can help you calm back down. Isn't that neat?

When I take a deep breath in- and I mean a nice *Big* breath, it reminds me a lot of the sounds trees make, with their leaves and branches, when a heavy gust of wind blows through. Like the Earth is breathing, too.

A Heavy Gust, then the wind lightens, and then it picks back up again.

*deep inhale* *slow exhale* *deep inhale again*.

Or when something smells nice- some food being prepared, a scented candle, petrichor, old books, new books, freshly cut grass, a perfume that- "hey, that smell reminds me of *favorite person*". I mean, where I'm at, at any given moment, I could go outside and smell a neighbor making barbecue! It's nice..

And so you take a breath, a deep breath, a heavy inhale through the nose, and it just-

✨️

The experience of walking- or driving- or biking- or *being* somewhere, and then for just a moment, you catch a whiff of something that reminds you of a person, a place, a food, an *experience* that you haven't seen or thought about in years. And maybe it's a happy memory! maybe it's a sad one.. but whatever it was, it's something that contributed to *who. you. are.* now.

Like a fellow tumblr user said, in a post I ironically no longer know how to find.

"I am a mosaic of everyone I've ever loved, even for a heartbeat."

But I make the addition of, "I think that applies to experiences, too." Though, maybe that doesn't have to be said. 😅

But isn't that something? That every breath you take not only proves that you're alive- as plenty of people before me have said. But also, that you *lived*.

You.

Lived.

With an earthly population of eight *billion* people, it's *certainly* not unlikely that at any given time, you, and a random person the world over, are sharing the same moment to breath. That you're sharing the same breath.

That somewhere, the world over, a person is making a meal that smells *exactly* like the one you ate when you were twelve.

That somewhere, the world over, a person is wearing a cologne that smells *exactly* like the one your grandfather wore.

That somewhere, the world over, a person is smelling the rain, just like you might be now.

Just a big, deep breath through the nose, and suddenly, maybe the rest of the world doesn't seem so far away..

If, for me at least, you could take a nice, deep breath.

I would really appreciate that.

[authorwithissues]

.

[chestersbraincell]

Idk I guess I just expected better. I always do when it comes to people, I guess.

I guess I put you on a pedestal out of.

Well.

Hope

A pedestal I shouldn’t have put anyone on.

A pedestal I will never ever put anyone on ever again.

[javierduffy]

After they've been together for a while and Kieran's come out of his shell a bit (esp around the rest of the gang) for some reason I can imagine him just being like. Very forward. Not outright flirty but he loves Javier SO MUCH he's practically vibrating with it. It's spilling from his mouth every time he talks w/ him. Not right out of the gate, though. He starts with small comments in the morning. A compliment here, a cheesy line there. But by the end of the day if you listen closely you can hear an increasing amount of stutters from Javirr's guitar and Kieran knows he's got him when he looks away he's so flustered and the whole time Kieran's just blinking innocently and grinning like mad he's so in love UGH. If he does not kiss his bf breathless within the next 10 seconds he WILL explode

NOOO I AGREE COMPLETELYYYYY YOU GET ME YOU UNDERSTAND !!! kieran, as shy (if you want to call keeping your mouth shut to spare yourself the trouble of getting shot in the head “shy”) and awkward as he is, speaks his mind and is willing to be quite verbal about what he’s thinking ! i listened to his ambient voice lines the other day and he really is very vocal when he doesn’t feel that being the alternative would jeopardize his wellbeing, and i think the reason people don’t notice is because when he’s challenged, he’s often willing to fold on his perspective, mostly just to preserve his own safety because of his audience. i mean, he literally FORCED the vdl’s to take him in, and he often bows up at arthur and will challenge/confront him (because he’s most familiar with him). plus, he’s very openly complimentary towards mary-beth, even as early as horse-shoe. kieran duffy has little to no problems with speaking if you really listen !

so absolutely yes he does say what’s on his mind even and especially when it comes to javier. hell, i believe that kieran complimented him even before they got together, before javier even liked him (or acted like it, at least). he’s just a lover at heart ! i think that would be one of the reasons that javier becomes less hostile towards kieran to begin with- because kieran is so gentle with everyone, and initially, javier is always shocked when he isn’t the exception, even when he generally avoids him or even treats him outright poorly. kieran’s gentility isn’t a survival skill, it’s an innate part of who he is. so even before he’s especially comfortable with javier, on rare occasion, kieran would say a “you look nice today, mister !” or a “you’ve got that knife looking mighty spiffy, would love something like that for myself some day.” before he can really even think about it. it always pissed javier off, of course, because ‘that stupid pretty, sweet, charming, handsome bastard of an o’driscoll has no right to even look at him, nonetheless like him or anything he does ! and it certainly didn’t feel good to hear him say it !’.

but when they get together, kieran’s compliments change- not only because javi now knows that he means them from a full homo place, but because kieran is now able to say things that have been on his mind for months. when they’re away from camp, kieran swoons and fawns and waxes poetry as best his awkward and mildly educated self can. i really believe that it takes him no time at all (i say this, i mean a month or so) to work up to jumping into sharing his adoration when they’re alone, because when javier finally chose him back, kieran got his permission to love him, and he’d been waiting on that for ages. kieran duffy has been starving for love for all 23 years of his life, and he’s got such a craving for it that it makes him the best cook in the world because then every crumb matters. being a lover with no one to love has left kieran with a keenly honed sense of adoration- a natural skill he has sharpened to a perfect point in all of his quiet isolation. javier practically drowns in it once he’s exposed to the full capacity of it. you’re absolutely right that it isn’t too long before kieran has javier wrapped perfectly, lovingly, obediently around his finger. when kieran sits politely on the bedroll next to his beautiful musician as he plays for his usual crowd of outlaws, when he peers over at him through long brunette lashes, when javier can feel his gaze on his fingers as they pluck the strings (and some rare nights, javier knows exactly what kinds of thoughts are in kieran’s mind, which only flusters him further. especially when kieran feigns innocence if ever accused of lust, all the way up until they’re alone, in which he’s quite happy to share imagery from his vivid imagination.). usually, though, kieran wants nothing more out of it than to let javier know just how much he adores him, how pretty he thinks he is, how perfect his voice is, how every little thing about him drives kieran crazy- and it’s out of lack of recent exposure that javier’s tolerance for it all is so low. that’s what he tells himself, anyway. kieran may not be a poet, but he’s sure honest, and sometimes, that hits harder than elegant prose.

i do so love the thought of a flustered javier, especially when he’s the one who is supposedly the “romantic” of the two. man can dish it out but he can’t take it </3 kieran sparingly shares touches with him throughout the day as well, placing a hand on the back of javier’s collar when he’s leaning over his shoulder to peer at whatever javier is intending to show him (a map for a small job he’s planning, an upgrade on his revolver or knife, the poison throwing knives he’s gingerly handling as he explains to kieran how to coat them evenly for a quicker kill), hooking a finger into the waistband of javier’s pants or his suspenders as they smoke alone early in the morning by the scout campfire, touches the tips of their boots together as they both work their separate chores of cleaning saddles and sharpening knives. kieran says i love you throughout the day in a million different ways. like you said, he’s practically vibrating with it. by the end of the day, after kieran’s shared with javi how his eyes look like the perfect cup of coffee in the sun, how he’s real purdy first thing in the morning, how he missed him the other day while he was out on a job, all the while burning holes into javier’s skin with every little touch he sneaks in when they’re on the same side of camp, javier is a puddle on the ground. he’s anxiously fiddling with his guitar before playing and missing notes when he does, desperately cleaning his boots and hat more to soothe his hot gut, and taking solo fishing trips to either verbally rant his feelings out loud in spanish or rub one out because kieran is driving him absolutely insane, and they’ve not been together quite long enough for javier to justify dragging him out of camp every single day to get some privacy and/or blow off some steam (in more ways than one, depending on the day).

the longer they’re together, the more brazen he gets, absolutely. placing a hand on javier’s shoulder while he sits next to him at the campfire with other gang members, tucking javi’s hair behind his ear when it’s down and they’re chatting late at night, saying “oh, i do love you.”, “yes, sweetheart?”, “javier, my dear-“ in front of some other gang members while they’re talking or addressing each other, and it simply turns javier’s brain off. to be bravely loved is such a privilege and it almost sends a shiver down his spine every time kieran does it. to kieran, it’s almost like he can’t even help it, doesn’t even really think about it too much after a while. sure, he’s anxious at first, especially with how javier will react since he’s essentially constantly around his tough-love family who will absolutely mock him for it if he lets them, but seeing javier get so flustered because of how little he expected kieran to be so bold, it’s addicting. immensely. plus, kieran knows javier may not come back to him every time he leaves camp, and he’s lost enough in his lifetime to regret not loving javier to his full capacity. it won’t get them hurt, so he’s happy to be brave, because he’ll know that if either of them die, they will die having loved and been loved at 100%. now, he doesn’t think too hard about any of that. really, kieran just can’t help but love javier- can’t help but want to tell him that he’s the most beautiful person he’d ever met, tell him how much he matters to him, tell him how special his heart is, show him how much he loves him, indelibly, intricately, with every fiber of his being. if i don’t kiss him breathless within the next 10 seconds, i will die. he thinks after a long day of small touches and meager compliments, after a long day of javier tripping over his boots and unsatisfactorily twanging his guitar strings once or twice that evening nonetheless. and he says “if i dont kiss you within the next ten seconds, i will die.” and javier pauses, freezes, shocked, trapped in green eyes as the scout campfire lazily licks dances of light and shadows across their wrinkles and scars and features. and javier says, “well then, come here. you are too young to die.” as his heart beats louder in his chest than it ever has in a gunfight.

umm i think i got off topic but yes :3 i agree :3 kieran can be quite forward, even canonically ! they’re both loverboys in their own ways and equally as hungry for the others’ taste (figuratively and literally). sorry for the yap sesh ! thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me !!!!!!! i love thinking about them waygh ;__; i could talk about them all day