#it feels like someone is taking a piece of my culture and just stabbing it with a knife

[aromantisk-fagforening]

one thing I've never understood or liked is people using ø to mean o.

like I've seen 21 pilots do it (and others), and to me it just reads like

twenty uhne piluhts

ø is fairly often translated to oe, but in pronunciation it's basically uh.

[strayflowersstarsandlove]

Kiki's delivery service (bangchan)

Rearranging your legs underneath you for the 5th time, you squish your cheek onto Chan's pectoral, breathing in the delicate scent of his laundry detergent and his cologne. Pain will make you miserable and achy but it won't ruin your Friday night with him. It's imperative.

Chan has usually so little time off you jumped at any occasion to spend a quiet night in forcing him to catch up on Studio Ghibili movies. He needed the culture and you needed the lazy late night cuddles on the couch. Period pain be damned.

"You've been quiet an awful lot tonight...", Chan mumbles softly, not fully averting his eyes from the screen as he leans in to kiss your temple, "is everything okay?", he asks, subtly referencing the fact that you and Jisung had basically ganged up on him and forced him to begin his journey through Miyazaki works of art. And also the fact that you'd usually ended up spoiling every single scene for him cause you needed to explain everything into the tiniest little details.

Also also referencing the fact that you tended to go silent whenever you were suffering. Whether it was mental pain or physical pain, you tried your best to power through it, grit your teeth and stubbornly keep going until you were on the brink of another mental breakdown.

He was always there to pick up your pieces and glue them back together. And you loved him for it, even though you felt bad for making him feel like you were another one of his responsibilities, someone he had to take care of, but you were so grateful for him as well and it wasn't like you could really help it, he had this deeply rooted nurturer in him that made him care for you so effortlessly whether you wanted him to or not.

Chan was also super attentive and perceptive. He picked up on every single one of your little details and quirks and peculiarities. Which meant that he definitely knew you weren't okay at the moment, he was just gently letting you know... without letting you know.

You sigh as another stab of pain hits your lower abdomen and it makes you squeeze your eyes shut and hiss in pain, what a perfect timing to just blatantly lie to your very smart very intuitive boyfriend: "yeah, yeah everything's fine. Just tired".

Chan ponders for a second before deciding to just take the matter into his own hands. By literally doing so. He pauses Kiki's Delivery Service just as Kiki's flying on her broom above the ocean with the seagulls and cradles you in his arms until you're sitting in between his thighs.

Which is very normal behavior for cuddle monster Channie.

Until he just stills for a second, hands hovering over your torso, legs pressed firmly against yours so you can't move. And then he attacks you with tickles.

The air in your lungs is sucked out so fast you're crying laughing one second and gasping and wheezing the next: "PLZEASE CH-CHANAHAHAHAHAH I'M HAHAHA I'M - I'M DYING".

And you're not even exaggerating. Your tummy was already aching and your muscles tense that the added strain and effort of catching your breath makes your stomach do somersaults in between the sharp daggers digging at your uterus.

You try to squirm and thrash out of his grasp to no avail, "hahaha tell me the truth and I'll spare you hahaha, that's your only way out", he laughs and squeaks and if it wasn't for the fact that you're currently focusing all your energies on not passing out from the pain and the laughter you would have already jumped at his neck and kissed him silly because of how cute he sounds: "FIN-AHAHA FINE YOU HAHAHA YOU-AH YOU WIN HAHAHA".

He immediately stops and settles you back down in your former spot, hugging your sides and patting your tummy until you calm down your breathing again. You inhale deeply, grimacing a little from the pain, your hand reflexively reaching for his own as you give it a little squeeze.

"I'm about to get my period. I've been silently crying and screaming at myself for the last couple of hours. And you're fucking perceptive and I can't hide anything from you", you pout, finally spitting out the truth, "okay... And you didn't tell me because?", he goads on, sighing you turn to face him, kind eyes and an encouraging smile on his lips as he holds you close, "because... I feel like you already have so many things to worry about, you're always taking care of me and the boys and working over time and stressing about everything, I don't want to add onto that".

The man with impossibly perfect features sighs right back at you, not in an annoyed manner, more a self assured one:"you're not adding onto anything, y/n. You're the only person I can actually fully relax and just be me, just be Chris with. No idol duties, no leader ones, no big brother or producer or captain of everything ones. I don't HAVE to take care of you, I WANT to. I want you to be happy and well looked after and in a way it's even selfish, cause if you're happy and thriving then I'm happy and thriving, it's like an osmosis thing", he giggles.

You turn in your seat and playfully roll your eyes at him as you cup his cheeks and peck his lips, "there's not an ounce of selfishness in your entire body, babe. And you have a pretty god damn gorgeous body, at that".

He giggles so loudly he starts squeaking again, triggering your cuteness aggression. You kiss him all over his face and nibble at his reddened ears, you only stop once he's gone completely silent laughing, breath hitching, the most perfect pearly whites on full show as he smiles brightly at you and pulls you flush to his chest, "my baby girl", he sighs, his voice barely above a whisper, "I promise you don't stress me out at all, and that I like taking care of you", he insists, leaning in to kiss you, "now, is your tummy hurting really bad? Is there anything I can do to help? Belly rubs? A heating pad? Painkillers? ".

You know you'll never win this battle. You know he'll never stop making you feel alllll the butterflies no matter what he says or does cause it's just second nature to him being this kind and wholesome. You shake your head lightly and stroke his cheek, "I'll be okay. You're my heating pad", you snicker, positioning yourself with your back fully resting against his chest, his arms coming around you in a swift move,warm hands flat on your tummy.

You reprise the movie and for a while everything seems to be going smoothly. The pangs in your guts are still very much present but your boyfriend gentle rubs on your stomach are surprisingly soothing.

Eyelids fluttering almost close, you feel yourself relaxing more and more, progressively loosing focus on Kiki, much to your dismay. Up until Chan's hand start shifting closer and closer to the waistband of your pants. He acts completely nonchalant about it, one palm still rubbing soft circles over your tummy and the other inching down... down.

A tingling sensation crawling all over you, a warm rush to your chest, you swallow down quietly, feeling the muscles in your neck tensing up by the second, perhaps in anticipation. The rooms quiet, or the sound of your fast heartbeat has just drowned out any other sound, you're not sure, but Chan's quiet. He's very quiet even as he stealthily slips one finger, and then two fingers down underneath your pants, he traces small stripes over the fabric of your underwear, slow at first, his wrist barely flicking.

Thin fingers but rough, finger pads, he starts running his fingertips in circle motion over the areas he deems more sensitive, letting the hitch in your breathing guide the intensity of his motion, the speed of it, the direction of it. As soon as he's satisfied with the way you're reacting to him, he picks up his pace just slightly, a low, satisfied chuckle finally emerging from his mouth when your thighs visibly start to twitch, a boost to his ego, means he's doing something right, very right.

It's as if all the blood in your body starts running faster and faster, rushing through your veins at incredible speed only to then concentrate all at once, all of it at your centre, and with the friction generated there, you can't help but whimper, your abs contracting and relaxing almost spasmodically, the daggers of pain alternating with pleasure that comes in a wave that builds up and up and up.

A trickle of sweat down your spine, you clutch Chan's unoccupied wrist and squeeze, jolting upwards in an arch as you feel yourself approaching your high more and more, "i-I-", words come out of your mouth in whimpers, you try to articulate a single thought but manage nothing even remotely intelligible, Chan's hums softly and kisses your cheek, his lips lingering on your dewy skin, "yes, baby girl? don't hold back, don't hold back and come for me", he taunts in a sing songy voice, cooing and breathing softly in your ear.

And that's enough to send you over the edge.

Choking on the strangled noise bursting out of you, release washes over you. No more pain twisting your guts, just pure bliss.

You close your eyes and relax back into the arms that hold you, breathing hard and laboriously while Chan taps his fingers around the wetness, a satisfied snicker rolling off his lips, the very same lips now kissing your shoulder and the side of your neck so tenderly, "good girl, such a good girl for me eh? you're feeling all better?", he asks sweetly, moving a wisp of your hair away from your face with his unused hand, to which you nod and smile bashfully, still feeling oh so wonderfully numb and light and darn good.

The movie paused, yourself and the couch all cleaned up, you settle back on the leathery seat cushion and finish up the last few drops of your glass of water while Chan himself is cleaning up in the washroom, a stupid smile on your face that you just can't wipe off, you adjust in your seat and cross your arms over your tummy that gargles with unholy sounds of hunger and unrest, perhaps.

And then gushing. Warmth. Not the feel good kind, though.

You jump on your feet and immediately spot the enlarging smear of blood on the couch, a frenzy on panic immediately taking over you just as your boyfriend walks right in: "oh my god I'm so sorry oh my god oh my god I'm.. I'm-mortified oh my god", you start rambling and shaking and hurriedly pat around your inner thighs, growing exponentially alarmed when your palms come back pinkish.

"Hey hey it's okay, y/n it's okay, I promise", Chan promptly scrambles to you and cups your cheeks, locking eyes with you and immediately reading the discomfort in them, "I think you left some tampons in the third drawer of my nightstand, go check, and grab any of my clothes to change into,you'll be okay, it's okay, don't worry about a thing", he reassures, patting your head, that wonderful encouraging smile of his taking up his whole face.

"B-but your couch and-oh my god this is so embarrassing this is awfu-", you start but Chan merely giggles and gently shakes your shoulders, "BABE!!", he exclaims firmly, making you snap out of your panic and fall silent, "stop apologising, start washing up, this is absolutely fine, the couch is going to be just fine. Go, I got this", he instructs in a gentler tone, even winking at you reassuringly.

And you swear that's all you needed. That fragment of complicity, reassuring gesture that instantly calms you down.

The fabric of his shorts goes swish swosh around your knees but it's so soft from wear and tear that you kind of love it, you think to yourself, jogging downstairs and into the kitchen where you find Chan steeping some deliciously smelling tea.

"There she is, did you find your stuff? Are the pants okay?", he asks as soon as you step into his arms once again, the hugging machine within him just acting out of instinct: "yeah, yeah everything's fine. Thank you, and I apologise again, I hope the couch isn't stained forever", you reply meekly, looking down at your feet, "the stain came right out with a single swipe, and even if it didn't I'd be more worried over you not feeling this awful over something you cannot even control".

Butterflies. In your belly and in your heart. Yeah they're never ever leaving.

You look up into the kindest gaze and smile, bewildered at your immense luck in having Chan as your partner, "how are you so perfect Chris? Like seriously, you're the perfect mix of loving and kind and funny as hell and empathetic and hot and smart and mature and absolute fucking perfection how do you even exist?", you exclaim dramatically, eyes wide and heart shaped over this very man holding you into his arms, who now giggles loudly and leans in to peck your lips," I don't think I'm the perfect boyfriend yet, but I'm working on it. You make it really easy though, you make it a happy process too", he gushes, kissing your lips first and then the tip of your nose.

"Shall we go back to Kiki and her deliveries now? I made us some tea so it'll keep the cramps at bay if they're still bothering you", he suggests then, lacing his arm around your waist so he can lead you into the living room.

You both settle in your former seat arrangement and you smirk to yourself despise the flush creeping up your cheeks just thinking about what happened there not half an hour ago, "oh those?", you reprise the argument about your cramps, "vanished. Disappeared. Non existent. Your little trick earlier... I think you worked some kind of magic on me I don't know", you declare, and Chan bursts into laughs, the tips of his ears going bright red, pride and flustered giddiness both coexisting in him at the moment, the epitome of a perfectly complex man.

[gatheringbones]

[“Mom rage lives in the body. Fingers curl, cheeks burn, breathing quickens. Similar to road rage, mom rage bubbles up fast and hot. Mom rage is fury—mothers bursting with uncontrollable anger. Its release is often aural and physical: a rhythmic string of high-pitched curses; a booming trombone yell, so growly the mother’s throat is sore the next morning; hands slapping out a sharp beat on her own stinging thighs; a bass drum foot pounding out each word—BRUSH (stomp) YOUR (stomp) TEETH (stomp) NOW (stomp, stomp)!!

As mothers, we know we are supposed to be nurturing, patient, gentle; never rageful. We try to hide our wrath, hold it in, keep it quiet. Sheila, mother to a three-year-old and seven-month-old in Brisbane, Australia, admitted to me in an email, “I often feel the rage and would sometimes just LOVE to stab a mattress into pieces with a very sharp knife.” Sheila used to hide her rage by screaming underwater at her local public pool, but the pandemic robbed her of that covert release. When mom rage takes over, not physically hurting someone is an act of will. Joanna from Portugal told me, “I remember holding [my daughter] and biting down on her fluffy onesie to staunch something worse.”

Those on the receiving end of mom rage are often our children, but not always. The vitriol can be directed at partners, pets, men in general, the system, or everyone around us. Mom rage can also turn inward, manifesting in self-harm: substance abuse, cutting, punching our thighs, slapping our own face, biting the insides of our lips, cheek, tongue—anything that can feel pain. Moms who rage are in pain, even if we don’t know it.

That pain isn’t caused by a child not wanting to brush her teeth, or any of the other daily irritations of parenting. Its foundations go much deeper. Mom rage stems from the overwhelming stress and impossible expectations of modern motherhood, combined with a debilitating lack of support from within the family structure and societal systems.

The sneaky thing about the causes of mom rage is that we can’t see them. In their visual absence, all we see is an angry mom. On the surface, mom rage looks like simple cause and effect: a child drops a jar and it shatters, resulting in the mom yelling, hot-faced and wild. This explanation of mom rage is easy to comprehend—there was an action and then a reaction. Perhaps there are details that complicate the story and make the mother’s strong reaction easier to empathize with. Maybe before this happened, the mother asked the child repeatedly not to play with the jar. Maybe the jar was the mother’s only heirloom from her great-grandmother who escaped the Holocaust. Maybe the mother has a pending work deadline, and Grandma, who was supposed to babysit, just called out with a migraine.

If we imagine mom rage as a house, the cause-and-effect scenario is happening on the main floor—let’s say, in the kitchen, since that is where so much of mothers’ daily domestic work takes place. To fully understand mom rage, we have to leave the kitchen and descend to the basement to uncover what came before. By “before,” I mean what happened the hour or day before the mother screamed at her child, but I also mean history—the mother’s own personal history, and the larger cultural history that shapes the way we live, think, and breathe today. History, identity, social norms, power(lessness), and past trauma, in addition to current societal systems and attitudes, are all at work when a mom balls up her fists and roars at the people around her—often the people she loves most. In the mom rage basement, we locate how a lack of partner support stems from cultural inequalities.”]

minna dubin, from mom rage: the everyday crisis of modern motherhood, 2023

[tithnamath]

How I Would Spend a Day with Characters from the Witcher

Hello wandering traveller! I did this with the Hobbit characters, so I thought why not have a stab at it with the Witcher characters. Not all of them are here, just the ones I like. So, if there are any you want me to do that I haven't done, I can do a part 2.

Geralt - If were are going with being in the Continent, I would want him to teach me basic Witcher training and signs. Also, trying to get him to talk about his experiences fighting monsters he's killed or un-cursed, although it might be easier having that conversation with Vesemir. If were were in this world, I defo would want to take him to a museum, especially if it is heavily archaeological or weapon based (not me nerding out on swords at all haha).

Ciri - This girl needs a damn break from running away from people for 5 years. Girls' day in: making an unhealthy amount of biscuits and cakes, getting take out and having a movie marathon or creating silly PowerPoint presentations and showing them to each other. I know that Freya Allen (who plays Ciri) is amazing at art, so I would be a cool headcannon that Ciri is also good at art, so we could have fun drawing competitions for our girls' day in.

Jaskier/Dandelion - He can write lyrics and I can write stories (decent enough haha). I think what would be cool is having a chill day, perhaps by a river bank underneath a large willow tree with a picnic (defo not a date (>ᴗ•)). He would write a song, and I would make a story out of it, and I would make a short story that he can turn into a ballad. I think that would be quite cool.

Yennefer - As much as I love her I would be a bit scared to be around her, and not sure how to act just in case he turns me into something unnatural. But, if we were good friends, I think a wee shopping spree would be nice, and pick out outfits for each other. A bit like that challenge where someone has their eyes closed and is told to stop randomly as a piece of clothing which they will have to wear.

Regis - I will always say this when Regis comes up in any conversation (whether he is related to it or not) he is my favourite character in the books by far. I would most likely start geeking out about vampires to him, and all the different ones we have in this world compared to the continent. I would likely make myself look like a tryhard idiot, but I think Regis would be interest in it. We probably would have an indepth conversation about higher vampires, and their culture.

Triss - I don't know why, but whenever I think of Triss I think of bunnies, so I mostly likely take her on a girls' day out to a sanctuary with a variety of rescue animals (bunnies are a must though haha). I feel like she would not be keen on zoos that much, even if they are to help protect endangered animals - though I think she would like seeing the different animals our world has.

Vesemir - As I mentioned, it would be easier to ask him about his experiences being a Witcher than towards Geralt. Again, if I was in the Continent I would be eager to help him make elixirs and learn the basics in the alchemy of oils and poisons. If in this world, I would get this man down to a tea room and have a good old cuppa... that man is old and needs his rest with tea and scones.

sorry if there are any grammatical errors, uni burnout is still strong 2 weeks into the break.

Love you all, and stay warm!

Tith Namath X

[mariii1]

░▒▓█ 𝖒𝖊𝖘𝖘𝖆𝖌𝖊𝖘 𝖋𝖗𝖔𝖒 𝖞𝖔𝖚𝖗 𝖋𝖚𝖙𝖚𝖗𝖊 █▓▒░

1-2-3

4-5-6

Reupload since Tumblr wants to be a pos. I'm unfortunately going to be taking another break after uploading this but let me know what pac you want to see again.

DM me for paid readings

1 - you may be fighting with the people around you a lot or you might be somebody who's combative. You could have anger issues or you just don't know how to deal with anger as an emotion either from yourself or from other people. I see more conflict and a warning that if you dont deal with issues you have now with other people they will get much worse in the future. I see you potentially embarrassing yourself or coming off as irrational to others. I also see someone trying to stab you in the back or take something from you because it either gives them pleasure to see and know that they made you upset or they feel like it's easy to take things from you because they view you as crazy/don't take you seriously. If you're deciding whether or not you should cut someone off because they make you feel emotionally out of balance, do it. I'm getting it's a trauma response; this person knows how to manipulate you. They are a bully, this could be a family member.

2 - Something about a future partner. You'll be freeing yourself from a capitalistic mentality. If you believe in hustle culture, you'll learn the hard way that it's not gonna help you. I see some of you burning out real quick from that. You're not gonna care about money in the future. For a few of you, this obsession with work and money comes from being financially abused whether by a partner for most or by a family member/guardian. I see you not letting money or work ethic define you or be your entire personality for some. If you feel stuck now, it has to do with money. I was getting more rude messages but I feel this comes from people around (they might not be close to you either) who find your mindset annoying and/or they see right through it.

3 - if you have a partner you might break up worth them. You will realize that they were never that good to you. This reminds me of a tiktok where this girl was saying that (to people watching) "he's not special". "He" does normal things and you make it special when it's not. Its the basics of being human, it's how he should've treated you even if you weren't in a relationship. This could be a groomer or some sort of abuser romantically for a lot of you. This could also be someone you put on a pedestal romantically if you don't have a partner. Maybe your crush actually treats you like a piece of shit. This could also apply to those in talking stages in dating apps and such. You're gonna realize someone isn't shit and you only really put them on a pedestal bc you either didn't like yourself or you were bored.

4 - this is a warning for some and others know its gonna happen. There are a few of you planning this on purpose. You might be veryyyy stressed out and over worked in the future. This could result from you not listening to yourself especially if this relates to some sort of decision. If its life altering you will regret it a lot it's just gonna make things harder. Im getting this could have to do with education. There's something you really should have listened to yourself about and it might be too late. My best guess is that if you know what this is, you might even be trying to get out of it currently. This is specific for some people. If you don't get it, it's not for you. This is for people who have been actively trying to block their thoughts and opinions on something out.

5 - ok so you are stopping a cycle if not you will be. However, when you stop, you're going to be stagnant. For a lot of you it can feel like you're stopping the flow of type life in a way. I see you not making any new moves or decisions which will keep you in one place even though you have ended a cycle. It's like you won't find something new or move on to the next thing. I see you being scared of your old cycle repeating or something worse coming your way. I feel this has to do with career or education. It seems you might've felt heavily overworked and not compensated for your work or you didn't get the right outcome so now you just don't want to do anything. Hmm this would be interesting to do a paid reading on.

6 - you're going to give up on presenting as something. In particular, a certain personality. You might have internalizations you're working on, for some of you this has to do with gender transitioning (we're in this together 😭) I see for most that this has to do with again a workplace or just a hostile environment. Maybe in the past you thought that not saying anything and just ignoring ppl would help you, but you see that's not the case. A lot of you had this idea that you needed to be the bigger person or act like ppl weren't worth your time but it was just you not knowing how else to approach conflict. So i see you finally getting someone in trouble with some sort of plan or just speaking your mind in a way that brings action ig. Yeah you might've really hoped to get along with someone but you'll see its just not possible and they refuse to leave you alone.

[squirrelno2]

I've been Officially Enabled thanks @what-point-is-there have a dragon age weirdo

the one, the only, the original blorbo whose fault it is that i got super into dragon age, Evura Tabris! I've made a lot of wardens (and finished the game for almost none of them shhh) but Evura is the one I would consider my "canon".

She's the kind of person where all the looting you do in rpgs is canon, because she sees no point in wasting things just because the person who had them before is dead (i mean. she's also a thief. living, dead, she'll take from anybody if she thinks they can afford to be taken from), but she's also generally very kind. So long as you don't give her a reason to kill you, like, you know, the city elf origin story where you get kidnapped by a noble on your wedding day and have to fight your way out. She kind of slaughtered everyone there, because everyone seemed to treat this behaviour as perfectly normal. when I say she's kind, I don't mean she particularly cares about killing or not killing people, I mean she gives to beggars and frees people in prison. To some people, this may seem contradictory but to Evura if there are different rules for the powerful and everyone else when it comes to laws, there should be different rules for how she treats them, too.

This also extends to her level of trust in people. Authority figures, especially humans, earn a range of reactions from mild distaste to (again) outright murder, depending on whether they earn it. Duncan received a wary respect because he was polite and respectful with elves in her alienage in spite of being human; Alistair got a wary trust out of necessity and his own self-effacing personality. She places much more and quicker trust in people like Morrigan and Sten, because those are people very clearly and visibly on the outside of society. Even when Evura doesn't trust a person, or thinks they're making a series of stupid decisions, she tends to build fondness for them rapidly so long as they don't do anything too shady. Every new person who doesn't treat her like shit for being an elf is someone she can ply with endless questions about their life and culture, and the world beyond the alienage she grew up in; that genuine interest in other people's lives combined with her stubborn insistence on everyone getting along "so help me or I will stab you" mean most people who work with her end up at least with a begrudging respect for her. More often, they're charmed by her whether they want to be or not (except of course for those authority figures she doesn't like. they pretty uniformly despise her and she likes it that way.)

She ends up romancing Alistair - I almost went for Leliana, but Leliana says some things about elves that fall under the "well-meaning but super gross" category and Evura was immediately turned off forever. They're still friends, but Evura was not about to spend her newly shortened life trying to romance someone who was going to need to Work Through Some Things about her. She didn't expect to care for Alistair beyond work buddies at all, seeing in him mostly a hapless human with a sense of humour that complemented her own, but the way he treated her as he realised/admitted his own affections made her feel like she could let down her walls. They came to rely on each other a lot, and Alistair is the only person in the group who Evura tells her stories to, instead of just asking for his.

The other person she's closest to (in a group full of misfits that she is absolutely enamoured of, let's be clear) is Zevran, who functions in her life as a brother figure. They're both elves who want more of a connection to Dalish culture than they have, in their own ways, and they feel comfortable joking around together and knowing that the other would listen if they ever felt the need to open up (this does mean. they very rarely open up to each other. somehow they still know more about each other than anybody else? it's all in bits and pieces and jokes.)

also Evura definitely talks Alistair into doing the ritual with Morrigan so they both survive, does not want Alistair to be king (because he doesn't, and no matter how much she'd prefer him in charge to someone she barely knows who betrayed her she also knows Anora is capable, and what Alistair wants is more important to her anyway), and her entire thing when she goes chasing after Morrigan is "hey we could just help you raise that kid!" - she is so pissed to hear that Alistair got to meet Keiran in Inquisition without her. She spends the rest of her life trying to figure out ways to cheat the Blight in her and Alistair in between making politically controversial choices that piss off the leadership of the Wardens because she does not at all believe they should stay apart from regular politics. She saved the damn world and you can bet she will leverage that to fight for elf rights and mage rights and anti-slavery work and so on and so forth. All causes are Evura's causes and she'll kick your ass if you tell her to ignore injustice no matter how many times you've been to Weisshaupt

[possibly-in-wonderland]

Incorrect Creepypasta Quotes ft My Self-Insert Pastasona(?) bc Cringe Culture is Dead and I Want to Feel Alive by Fall Out Boy

like the title? lmfao i love self-inserts. anyway, i retired the old version of this character. she's not a demon anymore, but her stepdad is sort of a demon which has made her a partial demon? (idk how to explain it)

also featuring marble hornets and everymanhybrid (bc i feel like habit would tolerate her existence)

~~~

Alice: How do I ask someone out? Toby: Roses are red, violets are blue, guess what, my bed has room for two. Alice: No! Tim: Twinkle twinkle little star, we can do it in a car. Alice: Stop! Brian: Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream, merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily I can make you scream. Alice: I feel like the last one is verging dangerously into serial killer territory. ~~~ Toby: *is throwing stones at Alice's window* Alice: You have a phone for a reason, Toby *THUD* Alice: DID YOU JUST THROW YOUR PHONE AT MY WINDOW?! ~~~ Tim: Damn, the power went out. Jay: Don’t worry, I got this. Jay: *stomps foot* Tim: What-? Jay: *Sketchers light up* ~~~ Habit, with a headache: Advil me up, daddy. Alice: I will short out the language centre of your brain if you say anything like that ever again. ~~~ Habit: I know every song to ever exist it doesn't matter if it's from the past, present or the future. Alice: Oh yeah? Then continue this. Alice: I don't cook I don't clean- Habit: So let me tell you how I got this ring. Habit & Alice: ..... Habit & Alice: GOBBLE ME, SWALLOW ME- ~~~ Toby: I need life advice. Tim, sipping Gatorade and eating cookie dough: You came to the right person.

~~~

Toby: Why is everyone so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I’d just be excited to have a bunk bed. Brian: Brian: I'm gonna tell them. Tim: Don't you dare.

~~~

Alice: Would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 million dollars? Jeff: You stab me, and then when my leg gets better, we buy a big-ass house. Ben: You can stab me too, then we'll have 20 million. Jeff: Good thinking.

~~~

Alice: Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me Jeff: Okay, but in my defense, Ben bet me 50 cents I couldn’t drink all that shampoo. Alice: That’s not what I wanted to- you drank SHAMPOO?!

~~~

Alice, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him Jay: You did WHAT– Tim: William Snakepeare

~~~

Alice, walking into their house: Hello, people who do not live here. Jeff: Hey. Ben: Hi. Toby: Hello. Tim: Hey! Alice: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only! Brian: We were out of Doritos.

~~~

Alice: Dumbest scar stories, go! Toby: I burned my tongue once drinking tea. Brian: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and burned it. Jeff: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade. Ben: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand and I got a really bad burn. Tim: Tim: I have emotional scars.

~~~

[ihavenoideahowtodream]

I have learned fast, buying something that is not disassembly friendly means you are buying the customer service of the manufacturer.

Clothes got too ill made to repair? They aren’t worth it.

Car has to be taken to the dealership to change the damn headlights? Bullshit.

You want a blanket for your bed but they are all 200+ bucks for the 100% polyester (plastic) blankets and they feel weird (cause they are plastic)? Horrible

Sewing is an excellent first step to learning to repair or make your belongings. I have sewed for years in some form or another and I have a long family history of sewing. Knowing how to think about a part of the larger object while keeping in mind how it coordinates with the rest of the bigger object is a skill I learned from quilting. It made learning home weatherization at my last job easier. Which is wear I learned how to work with power tools. I dad zoned my buddy who has pieced and pulled apart cars his whole life, and he taught me to change my breaks which was a surprisingly easy thing to do. And incredibly satisfying too. It cost me under 200 dollars to change all four breaks, when I bought the back breaks the guy at advanced auto told me that shops were charging 300 dollars PER BREAK to replace. That’s just the pads not even the rotors.

Albeit me and my dad were kinda forced into learning our respective skills due to poverty and having a place to fuck around and do things wrong before we got them right (he learned how to fix cars well before the internet (well post windows internet) and YouTube.

These skills save you money, give you a sense of satisfaction, and exercise the creative parts of your brain. Now not everyone can or wants to fix their car or stab themselves a billon times with a needle(I’m like 37% convinced I don’t have fingerprints at the tips of my three dominant fingers anymore cause the teeny scars have erased them). Which is where community comes in play. Look online to find someone to make you a quilt so you don’t have to buy one that is shit quality that cost the same price. My family has quilts decades old that are still usable. My grandma will point at the different patches and say “this was a scrap from when granny made a pant suit and that patch was an Easter dress.” There are so many advantages to sending your old clothes to a quilter and getting a patchwork quilt in return.

Every culture has some version of recycling old garments that were made and repaired for years before they became blankets and rags and braided rugs or some other useful household item. Taking the community out of the items in your life is sterilizing your experience as a person just as much as corporations churning out unreliable clothing. You can use online or the good old fashioned grapevine to find someone who can teach you anything or help care for your belongings. Waste not want not has enough truth to it that it is worth remembering when you want to toss something. Don’t know what to do with your worn out thing? YouTube “recycle or fix Item” and you’ll get a bunch of people who can tell you how to give your item a new life and maybe keep them out of the trash heaps a few years longer and keep a few dollars in your wallet a moment longer.

Download this easy DIY clothing repair guide (only 10 pages) from Uni of Kentucky

link to PDF

[cleopatrachampagne]

Do you think lesbians are innately uncomfortable with sleeping with men and even the thought of sleeping with men or do you believe that it's something that is learned?

well, lesbians by definition don’t feel any sexual attraction to men but i do think that the visceral level of discomfort most of us feel beyond just finding the idea of m/f intercourse icky probably has some to do with societal factors. it’s hard for me to imagine what feeling any other way would be because it’s like asking someone born blind to describe colors; i never had any sexual attraction to men to begin and i’ve never been anyone but myself so i can only speak as a lesbian. but although i agree based on my personal experience with the current “consensus” that people are born with their sexual orientation. however, although human genes carry an evolutionary aversion to eating rotted meat or stabbing ourselves in the eyes, for example, that baseline aversion is different from a strong reaction that could come from someone who had been force fed rotted meat or someone who grew up in a culture that punished people by stabbing their eyes. i would hazard to guess that the fact that rather than feeling 100% neutral sexually towards men (zero interest, aversion to it but no extreme discomfort or fear) lesbians feel repulsed by the idea of having sex with men due to our own potential personal trauma as well as centuries of violence, homophobia and sexual assault that afflict our community.

i personally think one can pretty safely assume that lesbian women not feeling sexual attraction to males is not a learned behavior at all — we’re born this way, just like innately most humans have no interest in eating a soggy, moldy piece of bread — but feeling frightened by the idea rather than just naturally averse comes from deep and horrific societal factors of institutionalized abuse and misogyny. i guess, in that way, you could call the sickness we feel in response to heterosexual sex “learned” but we wouldn’t have any interest in sex with men by nature of birth even if the factors that make us uncomfortable didn’t exist.

if that makes sense?? i’m not really an expert, this is just my personal take.

[roonyxx]

Invisible: Part 4

Summary: Still cooped up in her room, she only wants to see one person.

Warnings: angst, language, low-self esteem, fluff, history crap and time (lol doesn’t make any sense now does it? hehehe)

Pairing: Y/n, Castiel, Dean, Sam

Wordcount: 1274

A/N: OKAY, so this story is taking a life of it’s own and I have like zero idea what I am doing so this chapter, I love it and hate it lol. All typos are my bad woops (it are finals, give me a break lol) I hope y’all enjoy!

My Masterlist

Invisible Masterlist

You were curled up in your bed, blanket pulled up until under your eyes when you heard the knock.

You didn’t say anything but with a click your door was unlocked, you frowned and wanted to scream at whoever entered until you saw two blue eyes.

“Cas…” You sat up in bed and when he sat on the side of it and opened his arms you fell right into them.

He wrapped his arms around you, he moved to sit with his back against the headboard with you snuggled into his side.

You sighed deep. “Did Dean call you?”

“He did”

You sniffed again, feeling the tears well up at just the mention of his name.

“So you know what happened?”

“I know he knows how you feel about him and that he is very sorry.”

“Yeah, it’s not his fault, I shouldn’t be as hurt as I am over something I knew for years.”

Cas rubbed his hand over your back.

“I just… I had this iny tiny flicker of hope that maybe deep down he felt the same you know… but yeah, he doesn’t.” You scoffed and wiped at your eyes. “God why am I even crying? Love never works out for me… I should stop whining about it and get used to it.”

“You’ll find someone.”

“Yeah.” I don’t want someone, I want him.

You detangled yourself from him. “You don’t have to listen to me whine, I’m sure you have more important stuff to do.”

Cas tilted his head at you. “You are important.”

You chuckled, “More important than heaven?”

“Yes.”

“Why are you so kind to me?”

“Because you are my friend and I care deeply about you.”

You laid back down next to him, shoulders touching.

You chuckled remembering the first time you met.

“I never apologized to you.”

Cas frowned, “For what?”

“For when we first met, I tried to stab you.”

“Oh that, it’s fine, happens all the time.” He smiled at you and you looked into his eyes, staring a bit longer than what was considered normal.

You always shared a deep bond with Cas, he was a good friend and understood you better than anyone, you loved how he could be so smart and oblivious at the same time. How he could be all sweet and cute the one second and be totally terrifying the next. You often forgot he was an actual angel, how powerful he really was.

“Can you tell me one of your stories again?”

Cas chuckled, “I can, pick a time.”

“Uhhm what about, 1920! The roaring twenties!”

“Hm yes, it was as you probably know, a social and cultural peak in human history.”

“Yes. Is it true it was all about partying like in the Great Gatsby?”

“Partly yes, economic was at his height and people could afford more. But the patriotism of World War I also started back then.”

“Oh yeah, the war, must have been some busy years for heaven.”

“In a way it was.”

“Where were you back then?”

He looked up in thought. “I was here on earth, observing.”

“Just observing? You didn’t try to stop it?”

Cas shook his head. “No, we are under no circumstance allowed to interfere with big events, World War I is a fixed point in time.”

You frowned, “Fixed point in time?”

“Like you have to imagine time as a piece of thread, and it is pinned on a wall by thumbtacks, these fixed points are the thumbtacks and prevent them from falling off the wall. Any interference with a fixed point could make it possible for a time line to fall off and cease to exist.”

“Oh so if you would have helped in the war, this world wouldn’t exist anymore?”

“Time is something very complicated, I can’t begin to explain it, but in a way yes.”

You and Cas did this often, you asked for one of his stories if you wanted to get your mind off of something, he had a lived a million lives so he had endless stories. He had so much knowledge and he had gone through so much it amazed you.

“It must have been hard to observe all the pain in the world and not be allowed to do something about it.”

“Back then it was very easy, I didn’t see pain or sadness, I just saw what I had to do. I had much knowledge about everything, but nothing about human emotion. If I should do it again now, I don’t think I would be able too.”

“No?”

“No, ever since I have been human, I understand emotions and feel them, not as intense but I do feel.”

You patted his chest. “Yeah, you did have quite the character development.” You chuckled.

“I did, most because of you.”

“Me?”

“Yes, you make me look different at things, try to see the beauty in a flower instead of just looking at the molecules in it, you make me want to enjoy the little things in life, you make me more human.”

You blushed at his words. “Why want to be human, it totally sucks!” You joked at him.

“There is an awful lot of pain yes, but there is also happiness, the amazing taste of food, love, passion, sex, all things humans explore.”

“Yeah well not all humans get love, passion and sex…”

“Y/n…”

“Yeah I know, I’m sorry, just ignore my whining.”

Tears were welling up in your eyes again.

“You are not whining, you are hurt, it’s okay.”

You scoffed through your tears. “Guess your grace can’t fix a broken heart?”

“Sadly no, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

“It’s not Y/n, you don’t deserve this, you deserve to be loved.”

You put your head against his shoulder, “Do I?”

He frowned deep, he moved his hand to your face so he could look into your eyes.

“You do, don’t ever think you don’t deserve love.”

“I just” a sob broke through your chest, “I want him so bad it hurts Cas, I just want to be with him, every time I see him I fall in love all over again, how am I supposed to get over that?”

“Give it time, time heals everything and I will be here every second of the way.”

You clung to him.

“Thank you.”

He moved to look into your eyes again. “Dean is extremely sorry.”

“Of course he is, that man lives on guilt, I should apologize to him…”

“You don’t have to, it is not your fault you love him, you can’t help it.”

“Yeah and Dean can’t blame himself for not loving me back. I just… I wished he did, I wished so damn much he did.”

Cas wrapped his arms around you, rubbing your back and stroking your hair.

“This feeling, it will pass Y/n.”

“I don’t think it will Cas, I love him so much… and I just lost him, forever, I feel like he died.”

“I’m so sorry Y/n.”

You sat up again, sitting cross-legged toward Castiel.

“Can you stay here with me today? I feel like drowning and you are my life vest, but if you have more important stuff to do, it’s okay.”

“Nothing is more important to me than you, yes I will stay with you.” He gave you a kind smile.

“Thank you Cas.”

You laid back next to him and asked him to tell you another story.

Cas gladly obliged, he wrapped you into his arms again and enjoyed the feeling you gave him whenever you were close, it gave him a weird sensation in his stomach he quite didn’t understood.

[theregoesmylurkerstatus]

Caleb has, verbally, shown so little bloodthirst regarding the people who wronged him. He doesn’t know how he feels. He doesn’t know what he wants. He wants them to change, he wants the pain to stop. He wants to rehabilitate all these murderers under Ikithon because he was one of them and he wants to believe he’s not alone in this, he wants them to get better.

He also takes three steps into the place where he was sealed away like some kind of animal, full of simple (if skilled) guards who are so much lower on the food chain than the assassins Caleb knows... and for the first time ever he starts crushing people to death. Gone is the soft talk and hesitant hope. He asserts that they knew what they were doing. That they were not innocents.

He spent eleven years there. He can’t remember it. He also can’t think of the people who did that to him as people, whether they were actually the ones that guarded him or not.

I think Caleb’s trauma and his ability to react with extreme prejudice when confronted with it often gets underestimated both by the audience and Caleb himself. There’s a really interesting dichotomy that seems to go on with him, in that we’re constantly taken somewhat aback by these breathtaking displays of violence of his, even though they keep happening.

I realised it when we first met Astrid, actually. I don't know about anyone else, but the revelation that Caleb’s reaction to watching his parents die wasn’t running in to help them, or screaming himself, or even dissociating, but was instead attacking his peers? It surprised the heck out of me.

I don’t think anyone thought that would have been his reaction. All the pieces of fiction or art or meta about that moment that I saw assumed he had a much more passive or help oriented reaction. Even the cast themselves animated that moment as Astrid and Eodwulf stoically walking away from a silent Caleb on his knees in their own animated title sequence.

The fact that we all accepted the image of Caleb, on his knees, silently watching his family burn, is interesting to me. Because I do get why.

When Caleb is forcefully reminded of that moment of extreme grief, he dissociates. He doesn’t react violently when lost in his trauma in that particular way. Add to that that Caleb brushes over the immediate aftermath of his parent’s deaths, which makes it seem like his foggy, clouded state in the Asylum was the instant result of his trauma, and the idea that Caleb reacted passively to his parent’s deaths is a very easy assumption to make.

At this point I believe it’s also indicative of how Caleb sees himself. Caleb hates (hated?) himself, yes, but he doesn’t actually seem to see himself as a violent person. When asked to impress a high level mage from an alien culture, he chose the versatile reskinned Bigby’s Hand, Cat’s Ire. When trying to be intimidating, he uses his words, or points to his friends as threats, or uses Frumpkin as a prop.

He doesn’t seem to give his ease with violence much thought or weight in his own view of himself. I think he assumed he was passive during his years at the Sanitarium, and so therefore assumed that his “breaking” was similar. And if that’s what Caleb thought of himself, why would we think any different?

People don’t tend to think of Caleb as a fighter, least of all Caleb himself. The common view of him is that he’s a hesitant support character. He’s not someone who fans or other characters alike would easily call “bloodthirsty,” especially with him confronting and discussing the man who ruined his life and refusing to commit to killing him.

Everything about how Caleb verbally approaches these traumas shows that he’s not vengeance driven. Revenge has never been part of his game plan, never been something he cared enough to pursue. And because of that palpable lack of bloodthirsty vengeance, because of his soft spoken, cautious demeanor, Caleb is not someone who would generally be picked as having extreme, unrelenting violence as his knee-jerk reaction.

Except that’s exactly what Caleb does when backed into a corner. That’s like his biggest move. Wall of Fire and Fireballing Avantika and her crew on a hair trigger? Bleeding, on the verge of unconsciousness, out of spells, and still managing to deal the killing blow on Lorenzo because he chose violence over any other action? Opening the final fight against Obann by smashing through the window and burning half the cultists to death, because they were that desperate to get Yasha back after two failed attempts?

He woke up after eleven years of being addled, confused and not himself, and immediately killed a guard and broke out of the Assembly’s own Saitarium in the heart of Rexxentrum. He unexpectedly got stabbed by a full-fledged Scourger, and his instant reaction was to beat her over the head with a rock. 

And now, he’s infiltrated that same Sanitarium where he was kept only to flip from his desire to redeem those under the Assembly’s thumb to murdering half the people he came across in there with extreme prejudice.

His lack of interest in long-term vengeance is interestingly balanced by his frequent choices to pursue short-term retribution. It’s both his way of protecting his friends and himself, removing the threat and discouraging other threats, but it’s also, in my view, frequently an outlet for his heavily suppressed anger at the people who hurt him and his friends.

Caleb can be a good diplomat, but Caleb rarely chooses to be a diplomat. Caleb can be charming, but Caleb doesn’t like being charming. Caleb can be a good support caster, and Caleb is a support caster! But when he’s too compromised for strategy, when he stops thinking, he starts burning everything in his way. Because Caleb? He likes the way fire feels.

Caleb spent his formative years training to respond to conflict, physical or political, with lethality, and on a much more fundamental level, he is and always has been a man of action. 

He took action to get out of the Sanitarium as soon as he was capable. He took action in the Bright Queen’s throne room, made a risky ploy instead of letting them be arrested. He wanted to take action retroactively against his parent’s deaths the second he regained coherency.

Despite what we all assumed, doing nothing in the face of his parent’s deaths was never an option for Caleb, and he wasn’t taught anything that was going to help his parents once the house was on fire and the screams started. So what else was he going to do, after two years of growing into the Scourger mould? When he loses his mind, his ability to think, two of his reasons to care?

Of course it was violence. Of course it was lashing out at the people he must have thought, on some level, as being in his way. Of course it was fire. What else would it be?

And though these circumstances here aren’t the same... there are enough similarities. He’s once again in those familiar halls (in that familiar mindset) where he was treated as a weapon, nothing more. He’s with the people he loves and he knows they’re in danger, again. In fact, they’re in danger from the same people he spent eleven years feeling threatened by, that he viewed as obstacles, whether consciously or not.

He doesn’t want his loved ones to be in danger. He doesn’t want to be surrounded by the guards who he associates with his own helplessness. He especially doesn’t want those two things to go together. And he has never been able to sit idly by when he can act. But what kind of actions can he take? What can he do to get these guards away, away from him, away from his friends, out of his way, right now?

The tried and true method. Not burning, not here, not now, let’s not set a building on fire with his loved ones in it again (though it happened anyway). But no matter. He’s learned a lot of tricks in the last few months.

And hey, don’t worry, Caleb’s not angry. He’s not still working through his own pain and rage at these people. He really does want to heal, not hurt.

It’s just that these ones deserved it.

[yenforfairytales]

COMPLETELY AGREE. D8

Allll of this

And can you guys believe that I forgot to include Terry burning down a whole building just because Daniel conspired with someone else as an example of Daniel's hold on him lmfao

Like I just consider that completely normal Terry behavior now and didn't bat an eye.

Because he wasn't punishing Daniel. He was punishing Mike. Daniel just got a warning.

Insane batshit things Terry will do to other men: beat them to death, frame for murder, burn down buildings, stab with sword.

Compare to Danny boy: warnings, threats, holding back in a fight.

Sure, it's all terrible, but he takes it down a little and goes easier on Daniel on the scale of pain and permanent damage.

That apartment fight was... something. Terry was exploding with anger. And Daniel didn't say one word. Many thots.

I equate cutting Kreese out of his life to cutting out a cancer and how it makes you feel - disease free.

Not only does Terry have no issue at all with doing it, but look how happy he is after he does it - he’s free.

Lookit this happy free baby. Maestro to his greatest concierto.

He's not angry. He feels nothing. He doesn't even visit Kreese in prison to taunt him or anything!

Completely out of his mind and heart and it bothers him none.

But when Daniel tries to cut himself out of Terry's life? 👀👀👀

Unthinkable! Offensive! Flames! Flames on the side of my face!

I'm sure many fans thought that speech would've been something Terry told Kreese through a prison window.

And he even declares to Daniel that his ultimate taunt will be taking over the world with Cobra Kai.

Every where you look, you'll see me, Danny boy.

But no. It was for Daniel because Terry wanted Daniel to know that he'll never get away and this could've been us but you playin'. We could've had it alllll 🎶

It’s his marriage he seems intent on breaking - his kid’s he wants wrapped up in CK - it’s Daniel he wants to break - just like before.

It's everything Terry is lacking. He never got married. He never had kids. A ready made family and the missing piece wants to walk away? Stubbornly resist?

"There's always been a little Cobra Kai in you."

"There's the Cobra Kai student I remember!"

Think about Daniel often, do you? He sees Daniel as should being on his side. I think it's always bothered Terry that Daniel chose Miyagi-Do over him.

The other key too - to seeing Daniel as Terry’s weakness is the ANGER — they both bring it out in each other - but with Kreese he just seems tired but Danny-boy, oh Danny makes him mad. Danny-boy makes him finally lose his temper - Danny makes the real Terry emerge from under the fake facade Terry had been plastering on.

Daniel's seen Terry's true face. Might be the only one who freely does. That carefully crafted mask of sophistication and culture cracks all because of Daniel. It's so true!

It’s Daniel that makes him lose his temper - his control - it is Daniel that causes his downfall - and if that ain’t the definition of a weakness, will I don’t what is.

And Terry Silver controls everything. He's a control freak. From himself and everything(and everyone) in his life to the smallest details.

Daniel does that to him.

Amazing. Daniel is his greatest weakness. The only person to bring Terry Silver down twice! Both times because Daniel just wanted to walk away!

And Terry still loves him! What does that say about Terry? I agree that he hasn't felt this alive in ages. I guess it's like you said, Daniel is the most fun but infuriating when he doesn't play the game right.

You kno what

Maybe Terry called Kreese his greatest weakness because he wanted to get rid of him, since Cobra Kai doctrine dictates they shed their weakness, but could never fathom getting rid of Daniel, thus refusing to label him as a weakness. He's just a rival, sure, yea... 🤣

Was this a little cracky? Maybe.

Am I also 99.9% serious? Yeth.

I just have to console myself as a certain Silver would about what life would have been like if stubborn Danny would've just joined Cobra Kai.

Or if Daniel had appealed to Terry's better nature after the S4 tournament. Imagine him walking up to Terry's house after Kreese has been dragged away lol. Cap off a perfect night. 🥂

Might be a hot take, but I’ve always thought that Johnny is Kreese’s weakness, and Daniel is Terry’s. Like, I know some people think Terry’s weakness is Kreese (and to some extent, yes), but Daniel seems to be his absolute obsession, his total undoing. Kreese at least had the best friends/comrades in arms thing, but the Daniel thing is just plain weird from any side. This once 17 year old brat has such a hold on Silver that the man threw away 30+ years of peace at the mere mention of his name. It was never about Cobra Kai. It was always about Daniel.

YES. I completely agree. And as more time has gone by since Season 4 came out, I've noticed even the more casual fans have noticed. Someone took this screenshot from YouTube, but I've seen similar comments on reddit too.

And Kreese, being another master manipulator, knew exactly what he was doing when he brought up Daniel to Terry again in 4x01...

There was literally no reason for Kreese to bring up Daniel LaRusso unless he knew that Terry would care. Why would Terry care. 👀

Kreese knows how to get people to come to him. How to dangle something that they want in front of them that only he can seemingly give.

When no other tactic worked on bringing Terry back into the fold, Kreese brought out the big guns and dropped Daniel's name.

Not to take away at all from the love and friendship that Terry felt towards John. But it became nostalgia and obligation, ultimately ruining their bond.

Little side note-- the fact that we watched Kreese make others do what he says in order to get what they want for three seasons made the prison scene in 5x07 even more satisfying:

AND the first person to play the uno reverse card and use this tactic against Kreese was Daniel. Terry's student. You gotta love it.

There's always been a little Cobra Kai in you...

I mean, we could speak at length about the parallels between Kreese and Terry and their star students Johnny and Daniel. The narrative mirrors and foils. But it's precisely their respective relationships with their students that is more compelling.

Anyway. I'm going to quickly list examples of Daniel's hold on Terry and then focus on the meat of the issue.

Terry falls apart and goes ALL IN on everything Cobra Kai only AFTER Daniel rejects his apology.

Terry gives Daniel multiple warnings to not interfere but never tries to gets rid of him like Johnny or Kreese after no warnings at all.

Terry dated a woman who looked a lot like Daniel with similar values.

Terry treats Kenny near identically to Daniel as a student but in the sincere way he wishes he had with Daniel.

Terry loses his cool when Daniel wants to surrender and walk out of his life.

Terry tells Chozen he considers Daniel his only rival. As in Equal.

I'm sure there's plenty I'm forgetting but you can find posts in the silverusso tag about all these topics and more. x.x

Now, let's get to one of the most important and defining scenes for Terry's arc. And again, it's a direct result of Kreese's manipulation:

Kreese, knowing what makes Terry tick and how to get him further on his side, comments that Daniel really knows how to hold onto a grudge. As if he doesn't. Anyway, it's twisting the knife into Terry again when he's clearly already low.

You don't think Kreese noticed how hurt Terry was at the rejection?

He notices everything. He learned in Vietnam from his Captain how to use love against someone as a perceived weakness. Many thoughts on that.

Anyway

The way in which Kreese says, "So... what now?" Tells me that he told Terry this was going to happen. You also have to remember their conversation leading up to the garden scene:

Terry was damn near close to defending Mr. Miyagi and Daniel over Kreese's own personal grudge. To the point where Terry was rolling his eyes and sighing over his friend being overdramatic about what happened in the past.

He was tired of hearing about it.

I'm sure Daniel told Terry the truth about that Halloween night. And look who Terry seems to side with...

Kreese wanted violent retribution and Terry was the one that talked him down. It was Terry's idea to apologize to Daniel and we'll just allll get along. Easy peasy. Surely, Daniel would forgive him.

But, Daniel proved Kreese right in Terry's eyes. As I'm sure Kreese hoped would happen. Couldn't have worked out better. I bet on the car ride over to Miyagi-Do, Kreese was complaining how this was a waste of time and LaRusso isn't the sweet kid you remember etc.

From that day forward, Terry is determined to prove Daniel wrong. About him, about Cobra Kai, about everything. Terry is going to make Cobra Kai work and help kids and he'll be the best sensei ever and Daniel will be sorry!

You'll be sorry you weren't a part of it!

I firmly believe that Daniel is Terry's true weakness and he didn't even realize it. But Kreese did.

And if Daniel had seen it, then he could've had Terry eating out of the palm of his hand.

The one movie quote they haven't used in the show yet is, "For person with no forgiveness in heart, living even worse punishment than death."

I'm hoping they'll use this with Daniel realizing he can help heal himself, and Terry, by forgiving him. Of course, Terry will have to do something more to redeem himself. I'm just saying.

And then maybe Terry can see that Daniel was his weakness all along, but there's still time to make him a strength.

One could argue that he already felt that way while he was being arrested. The way he was looking at Daniel... That awe. Daniel LaRusso got the best of him, again, all because he couldn't let him go.

Here's to hoping that Season 6 ends our suffering lmao.

I mean, who else has ever given Terry Silver goosebumps?

[hanazou]

matching onesies with him.

Books : Dazai | Chuuya | Oda

Shelf : Mixed

Genre : Fluff, domestic

Note : I did this of my own accord because I am, in fact, a softie

Dazai Osamu

This clingy crackhead.

Dazai will be the first to come up with the idea. It's actually a random one and he asked it so spontaneously, he doesn't expect you to actually say yes.

"Sure, why not?" You agreed.

He's both surprised and elated, and he didn't hide this reaction at all.

"Oh, darling!" He wrapped a hug around your neck. "You always revive my heart with your love!"

You both will be enthusiastic about picking the onesies and agree to surf the net instead of looking from shop to shop since Dazai is under the supervision of a certain angry Kunikida

It almost feels like babysitting. Not that you hate it right? Should you get an identical pair with different sizes? Or complementary ones?

Dazai will call the customer service to ask if they have black crow onesies since crows represent death in some cultures. The response is obviously no and it's obvious that the customer service was confused.

"That's a shame," Dazai whined disappointedly, shoulders dropping. "Wouldn't it be both cute and poetic if we had a double suicide while wearing matching crow onesie? Two achievements in one!"

At that point you wouldn't even be surprised anymore. You will just take the phone away from him to apologise and thank the customer service. You have to convince Dazai that you won't find a onesie of that kind

"Wait, don't tell me," You stared at him. "The reason you want to get onesies is just to wear a matching crow pair?"

"Is it?" He grinned mischievously. "Maybe you're right, maybe you're wrong, but I just want to match with you."

Other ADA members will wonder what you and Dazai were doing, Kunikida the most. He isn't exactly curious, more like suspicious. What's that good-for-nothing Dazai up to now?

Eventually you find a pair of identical ones. Kind of rare designs too! Guess what?

Crabs! In red! The little eyes on the hood!

It will take less than a week for the onesies to arrive in a small box. When it does Dazai will pull out a cutter so energetically Atsushi will think he's going to pull a suicide attempt with it

"AAH! Dazai-san! No!"

Nothing will happen aside from Dazai stabbing the box (while making sure he doesn't cut the onesies inside. he's good with blades, ex Port Mafia and all)

The crab pincers for your hands are soft like mittens and so smooth???? Imagine sweaterpaws but with crab pincer mittens (!!)

It will take everything in you to stop Dazai from wearing it that instant since a client Fukuzawa talked about will be coming. You will need Atsushi's help to take it off him but let's not talk about it

Both of Dazai's legs are already in the onesie too..

It seems like Kyouka wants one. Yosano and Naomi will tell Atsushi to buy the girl one and match with her

When Dazai and you go home together, he will be so excited to wear the onesies immediately. Dazai will be light on his feet.

And when you finally put yours on? Pictures. Dazai will take lots of pictures of you. You're a piece of art and he wants pictures so he can recall the image anytime

"Oh, dearest~ How is it possible for you to be so cute?" He began his dramatic poses, a hand over his head while spinning like a ballet dancer.

You both will take a lot of couple pictures.

"Love, you are so adorable I want to eat you!"

"Is it me who's cute or the crab?" You teased back.

When Dazai makes a troubled expression to answer your question, you will have to pinch him 💢

If you can cook crab soup, wouldn't it be funny to make and eat one with Dazai while wearing crab onesies? He will be so clingy when you do it, like an old school married couple; when you cook, he'll be bugging you while hugging from behind. It feels cozy, don't blame him

You have to be keen with your eyes so you won't miss Dazai secretly pouring ajinomoto to the soup. Get him a healthier diet, I'm begging you.

"Look, the crab is red like us." He pointed at the soup. "And like your face when I do this." He took advantage of you turning your head to peck your cheek.

He will also pinch your nose with his pincer mitten. "Boop!" It's a challenge. Boop his nose back.

You think he's already as clingy as he can be, huh? Wrong. You are absolutely wrong. If he previously sticks around you like a magnet, this time he's glued to you.

Even in the shared living space, he won't let you go. Is it the softness of the onesie under his touch, the warmth, or your cuteness? Well, it's all of them. What then?

Snuggles.

You both cuddle together in the futon until falling asleep together. You feel twice as warm.

He's the big spoon, let him feel the smoothness of the onesie while feeling your heat. And for once, the double suicide joke stopped for the rest of day. That's how much this impacts him, and you're proud of him.

Nakahara Chuuya

Matching with Chuuhuahua in a onesie? You lucky fella.

You have to be the one initiating it with Chuuya. Baby boy will be like "Eeh?" at first. He's not against it at all but more like, confused. The request is out of the blue

"Come on, why not?" You tilt your head. "It will feel so soft to cuddle with?"

That's it, that's the spell for him to agree

Mans is a Port Mafia executive, you can't go out from shop to shop in a mall to get your onesie with his schedule, so you have to settle with online shopping with this guy too

Only when he has time to spare from beating up people

You will sit together on a couch at the headquarters once Chuuya and you don't have missions. It's a good chance to relax and unwind together too

Chuuya knows best where to find clothes, including onesies. There are so many options! Dinosaurs, frogs, bears, Sanrio characters, Doraemon, Pikachu, Line characters, pandas, unicorns, penguins!! (I should stop fantasizing Chuuya in each of them)

Chuuya will act cool and chill about it at first, but he actually got invested in choosing and thankfully he isn't a crackhead unlike a certain someone

He has a good fashion sense I don't accept criticism, and this side of him will jump out while both of you scroll the catalogue. He nails both street wear and mafia outfits daily, so you can bet he'd pick the best onesies for you both

"This one doesn't suit you," He moved to the next option. "These are the only colours available? Pass.", "What's with the unnecessarily long tail?", "Oh maybe this? Wait, I don't like the stripes."

Of course, he will listen to your opinion too but since you feel he's better at this, you just either nod or shake your head with him

You have to be careful with your words when picking the size (this is much more valid if you're taller) or he'll go "I'm not that short!"

Kouyou and Mori (+ Elise) will catch you both on the couch together while browsing, comfy and all, and Kouyou asked what you two were doing. Chuuya's face will be as red as wine.

When you want to explain, his gloved hand will cover your mouth and he frantically shakes his head, screaming "Don't!" silently.

But alas, while you want to tell him there's nothing to be embarrassed of, Kouyou will take the phone from your hand with a curious grin and a "What's this~?"

Chuuya will just accept fate at that point, growling to himself and all

Kouyou and Mori won't expect to see a catalogue of onesies, apparently. The "Huh," on their faces are hilarious, and Mori will be instantly inspired to get a full set for his Elise-chan, much to her distaste.

While Mori and Elise are going at it, Kouyou will actually share her opinions. Chuuya will crawl out from his burrow of embarrassment and listen to her with you.

"Rather than identical ones, these would be much better. They have variety." Kouyou said. And you both will agree. You both have been eyeing a specific pair anyway

You both will decide to get complementary ones! Chuuya's will be a brown teddy and yours a white bunny! (Try googling Line's Brown and Cony, they're cute you won't regret it) Kouyou will totally agree with the decision.

When the package arrives, both of you will open it together. Chuuya's eyes for clothes are never wrong, the quality is immaculate. So warm and smooth, not a seam out of place.

Imagine the blush on Chuuya's face when you put on the white bunny onesie. The bunny ears on the hood! The fluffiness! His flustered face!

He will be slightly hesitant to put his own on, but when he does, you swear you can die from the cuteness. Want to see more cuteness? Tease him about it, and maybe he'll tickle you down until you're too breathless to tease him.

Chuuya doesn't want to say it explicitly but it does feel really comfortable, it's suitable for winters too.

As usual, Chuuya will be the big spoon. You will melt into his warmth and the smoothness of his onesie, and you can tell he's enjoying it too, from the way he'll drag his hand all over you to feel the smooth fabric

"It's a good thing we listened to ane-san's suggestion, hm?" You asked. "I didn't exactly like the matching penguin pairs."

"Yeah, this isn't bad at all." Chuuya admitted, snuggling his chin into the crook of your neck. "You're so warm."

Oda Sakunosuke

First off I'm Odasaku's lover before I'm anything else.

When the weather gets cold, it's your idea to get onesies for the kids. They could use some cute onesies to sleep in.

Unlike Dazai and Chuuya, Odasaku will have time to spare to go shopping with you. Being the handyman of Port Mafia has its good sides, after all.

The atmosphere is identical to a date! You both meet up at evening after work, have a simple dinner first, then start the shopping. Shopping for the kids' onesies with him makes you feel like a parent doesn't it?

Odasaku and you will make sure not to pick flimsy, thin, or rough ones. Only the best for the kids. Both of you put your keen eyes to use, examining every considered piece

Odasaku and you will definitely discuss whether to get five identical or different ones. After considering that the kids have different personalities, choosing different pieces will sound more ideal. You both will grant them the liberty of picking themselves.

"We just have to make sure they don't fight over it." Odasaku said.

Lion, dinosaur, piglet, panda, and penguin. That's what you both will choose!

Odasaku is a man who doesn't wear his emotions on his sleeves, so you relied on his eyes when it comes to him. You will see love and sincerity. He picks each piece with careful consideration.

The store clerk will throw an unexpected (yet clichéd shoujo) question at you both. "You picked such good choices. We have sets for adults too, why not match with your children?"

Odasaku and you will widen your eyes. First of all, parents? And match? Both of you stare at each other in confusion. Should you get two get a pair for yourselves?

"Why not?" Odasaku eventually said.

Odasaku's will be a brown dog and yours a white cat (remember that one official art of Odasaku with puppy ears? <3)

Odasaku and you will immediately visit the kids and give them their onesies. Their excitement in picking one for their own made you smile, and you can see the joy in Odasaku's eyes when the kids thanked him and you. He doesn't smile, but you don't need him to just to know he's glad his children love your pick. The way he pats their heads already speaks volumes of love.

Thankfully no kid wrestled to get what they want. You were especially concerned Kousuke will compete with someone

Odasaku will bring a secondhand polaroid he once bought at Yokohama's flea market to take pictures of the kids. You will herd the children to gather for the picture while Odasaku looked for the right angle in the other side of the room.

"Why don't you stay there for the picture too?" Odasaku asked you, half of his face behind the camera.

You kneel behind the kids and put your hands on Sakura and Yuu's shoulders, the ones who stood on the far left and right. That much is enough to warm Odasaku's heart, but when you too, smile for the camera, he freezes for a while to take the sight with his eyes

The picture comes out nicely. You will end up convincing Odasaku to take more but with him in it, together, all seven of you. You would need the curry diner owner's help to take the picture

"Sakunosuke, smile, will you?" You held his shoulder while you both kneeled behind the kids for the picture. He would be a little stunned

He smiles, but it was faint. Nevertheless, you recognise the content in his eyes in the photo, and it's enough.

When it's just the two of you in the living quarters, you will have to remind Odasaku that he too, bought a onesie. He will gladly put it on him since you look so eager, he's curious how it feels too

Your heart stops when he put on the hood with the puppy ears. You will have to fight back the urge to attack him with cuddles right there and then when his confused and innocent face matches the onesie so much!

"You're adorable," You smiled half teasingly, taking in the look of confused Odasaku who looked down at his onesie. The weight of the material felt right, it's like a cozy blanket.

"Try to put yours on," He says. When you did, his heart also missed a beat. The kitten ears on your head! The pure snowy white on you!

Odasaku is a bear hugger and when he hugs you, his embrace will feel tighter than usual. It's no surprise, he likes you and cats, and the way you interacted with the kids that day played tricks on his heart. You hug him back and ruffle his head while he mumbles his thank-you's at you

That night's sleep will be filled with nothing but cuddles of love and adoration. Yes, Odasaku is the big spoon, but you will also hold his arms tighter around you as you both drift into the night, chatting about life.

[uovoc]

Murderbot privacy

“SecUnit is a very private person, it doesn’t like to talk about its feelings” made me do a double take because I was like, SecUnit, who’s listening to you right now? Since when has it cared about privacy? Because while MB is a secretive fucker, it sure doesn’t extend that courtesy to others. And what I could figure out so far to explain this apparent hypocrisy is some more-or-less coherent stuff.

Summary:

MB conflates personal, private, and secret because these categories could not exist separately under the regime of surveillance and objectification inflicted upon it in the CR. This meant that the development of MB’s sense of personal identity was limited to its internal self. As a result, MB has a good instinctive grasp of the right to privacy regarding one’s emotions and internal state. However, its lack of bodily autonomy and background as a cog in the CR surveillance state have led it to regard physical privacy as a personal privilege rather than a right.

2200 words below the cut. I think about Murderbot a normal amount

Terminology

For clarity, the terms personal, private, secret, and privacy will be defined basically by their Merriam-Webster definitions. Personal will be used to mean relating to an individual’s character, conduct, motives, or private affairs. Secret is defined as kept from knowledge or view; hidden. Private will be used to mean 1) intended for or restricted to the use of particular person, group, or class. Privacy will be defined as the quality or state of being apart from company or observation; freedom from unauthorized intrusion. These are not comprehensive definitions, but for clarity’s sake they’re the ones I will use here.

The connotations that they carry in this analysis are:

Things that are secret are actively concealed. If something is secret, people are not aware of its existence. Secrets carry the implication of potential harm if divulged.

Privacy and things that are private are generally kept as such by social norms rather than active enforcement. The existence of things that are private may be known, but the details are limited to a restricted (trusted) audience. For instance, to quote Beatrice-Otter, “the contents of my underwear drawer are private, but not secret.” If you’re at someone’s house, you could technically go look in someone’s underwear drawer – it’s not like they can stop you – but out of the mutually agreed-upon respect for privacy and definition of what qualifies as private, you don’t. Things kept private tend to be done so for personal-emotional reasons rather than practical reasons.

These are limited definitions and not mutually exclusive. For instance, privacy can be enforced by gates and barriers like secrets are. These definitions aren’t meant to be comprehensive, but just to establish the meanings and connotations that I’m working with.

Privacy in the CR versus Preservation

Murderbot’s approach to privacy reflects the attitudes of the Corporation Rim. Preservation regards privacy more like a personal right and establishes it through primarily through societal norms, while the Corporation Rim treats privacy more like a personal privilege which individuals are responsible for securing and maintaining. In Preservation, freedom from observation is the default, and surveillance is the exception. To MBs annoyance, unless a space is singled out for security reasons (cargo spaces and high-traffic zones on the station), it’s generally left unsurveilled (residential areas, pedestrian corridors, most of the planet that we see in NE). Preservation also has cultural expectations of certain types of spaces being private. MB doesn’t share these expectations, as it notes in NE when it admits that its eavesdropping habit is “a little incriminating with the whole listening to private conversations in secured spaces and personal dwellings thing.” The specificity of “secured spaces and personal dwellings” makes this sound like something someone else said to MB that it’s now repeating, especially since it doesn’t agree that what others consider private conversations or private spaces are inherently off-limits to observation.

Unlike Preservation, MB sees privacy as a privilege rather than an inherent right, because it’s more used to the attitude of the CR surveillance state. In the labor installations that MB was deployed on, everything people did was observed by SecSystem at all times. If you wanted privacy, you had to pay for it, as MB notes in ES when it’s complaining about the lack of cameras in the fancy hotel that it books when it arrives. Even then, you might not get what you pay for, and MB take steps to secure PresAux’s own camera network that they later set up. In the CR, privacy is closer in meeting to secrecy, something that must be actively enforced and secured against intrusion. Corporate entities in the CR are motivated to erode personal privacy for profit in the form of datamining and workforce control. Privacy is thus a personal responsibility, since the surrounding environment is one that seeks to undermine it. This is the attitude towards privacy that MB is working with, and part of why it feels entitled to constant surveillance of its humans. In contrast, privacy in Preservation is a right maintained by the collective expectations and policies of the larger community. Station Security doesn’t exactly approve of MB setting up its own surveillance network, but nor does it do regular drone removal sweeps. MB expects privacy to be actively secured, and sees Preservation’s easily breached systems as the equivalent of leaving your valuables out on the lawn. If you don’t want to be surveilled, don’t go around being surveillable.

Surveillance exemptions

Instances where MB appears to respect the notion of privacy are sex/bodily functions, proprietary data, and feelings talks. However, out of these 3 categories, feelings are the topic where MB’s motivations align most closely with the human understanding of privacy. MB’s aversion to sex is more of an ick factor thing, since it repeatedly states that it finds human bodily functions to be disgusting. (I think touch aversion is also part of the sex-repulsed thing, but touch aversion aligns more with ick factor and also with lack of bodily autonomy, discussed below.)

Proprietary data is another topic on which MB appears to be on the same page as humans regarding “private” as being restricted to a particular group: it doesn’t tell the Mensah parents about Amena’s creepy date, and it removes the audio when it shows Indah the video of Mensah complaining about another councilmember. In both of these cases, there’s the potential for harm if the information is divulged: Amena would get scolded and possibly grounded by her parents, and Mensah’s relationships with the Council and Senior Indah would be damaged by her lack of professionalism. In a business context, proprietary data is information kept within a company because it would give your competitors an advantage, or because your competitors could use it to put you at a disadvantage – pretty much the same results, in the game of capitalism. Although both of these examples deal with personal-emotional information, the concept of proprietary data is closer to secrecy in its potential for harm and complete concealment of the information’s existence.

The third type of situation where MB appears to be on the same page as humans regarding privacy is people talking about their feelings. After Arada gets back from the Barish-Estranza negotiations, MB pointedly does not watch her and Overse make up because of the high likelihood that “they were having sex and/or a relationship discussion (either of which I would prefer to stab myself in the face than see).” Sex falls under the ick factor, but there’s a number of reasons the fandom collective braincell has pointed out for MB not wanting to watch people talk about their feelings:

MB exercising the privilege of not having to care about human feelings, as a formerly enslaved person subjected to human whims.

Secondhand embarrassment because MB would never talk about its feelings.

Related to the above, MB reflexively recoiling out of empathy because if it was in their position, it wouldn’t want someone listening in on its feelings.

Actually, now that I think of it, MB doesn’t go into great detail on why it doesn’t like watching humans talk about their feelings, unlike how it explicitly expresses its disgust for anything involving human fluids. Which is why I’ve got the suspicion that when it comes to feelings, MB does have a strong instinctive understanding of what it means for something to be private and, as a result, gets uncomfortable observing a moment that is not meant for others to see. MB has an easier time understanding how privacy applies to feelings rather than acts because unlike its body, its feelings are strongly tied to its concept of what is personal.

MB’s internal and external self

To paraphrase this one MDZS meta, MB’s body is not its own. MB’s sense of what is personal to it, or its sense of unique identity, applies more its internal self than its external self because of its former nonperson status in the CR. This informs what MB considers to be inherently private. While in the CR, its appearance and configuration were decided by the company. To be fair, humans don’t get to choose our original bodies either, but our bodies and the modifications we make to them tell a story of our personal background. The history inscribed in MB’s body, down to the logos etched on its structure, is that of a mass-produced piece of corporate equipment. MB does not have a particular attachment to its external appearance (“standard human”) because its appearance reflects the company’s choices rather than its own. (This changes after it gains the freedom to choose its own clothes and gets tabletop surgery from ART, discussed at the end.) Although MB’s configuration is what makes it a SecUnit, and being a SecUnit is an essential part of its identity, it’s not an identity that’s unique to MB.

For most of its life, MB’s actions have also been extensions of the company. Its actions have either been dictated by its clients and governor module, or it has had to pretend to be controlled by those things, which means making decisions which could conceivably have been issued with the governor module’s approval. MB is also used to selling its body, since it’s expected to literally sacrifice pieces of itself to keep its clients safe (an expectation it continues to hold). MB has been ship-of-Theseus’d to hell and back. The lack of both bodily autonomy and bodily safety due to its nonperson status in the CR means that MB considered its body to be neither private (restricted to the use of only one person) nor entirely personal (pertaining to its unique character).

As a consequence, MB doesn’t consider its external self to have the right to privacy. Although it doesn’t like being looked at, it’s reaction is to hide rather than ask people to stop. (This is also because MB isn’t used to exercising its personal preferences regarding other people’s actions, but that’s a different angle.) It doesn’t like it when Mensah walks into the security ready room, or when its humans and ART’s crew are watching it come out of involuntary shutdown on the deck, but it doesn’t tell them to stop. In general, MB doesn’t like being looked at because if it’s falling apart, it’s in a vulnerable state, and if it’s not falling apart, then being paid attention to used to carry the threat of abuse/incoming orders/being clocked as a rogue. These reasons are more about safety than privacy.

However, MB specifically doesn’t like people looking at its face are because its face shows its emotions, and its emotions are a reflection of its internal state and, by extension, its internal self. MB considers its thoughts and emotions to have the right to privacy because they are the aspects of itself that it has been able to control, and thus has been able to make personal. When Gurathin reveals its name, it grates out, “That was private.” On one level, Murderbot’s name is an honest expression of what it thinks it is and all the associated self-loathing and guilt. MB does NOT want humans to know its name because then they know how it feels about a topic truly important to it. On another level, its name reveals its self-deprecating humor, something a ruthless killing machine is not supposed to have.

Everything that MB considers personal, it has also needed to keep secret, because in the CR, it’s not supposed to be a person the first place. Conversely, the only reason it’s been able to have personal opinions and emotions is because it has been able to keep these things secret. Anything MB would have wanted to be private – restricted to a trusted audience – would have also needed to be secret because of the pervasive surveillance present in the CR, the nonperson status of constructs, and the fact that it had no trusted audience with which it could share private information.

Conclusions

MB conflates the categories of personal, private, and secret because these concepts could not exist separately under the regime of surveillance and objectification inflicted upon it in the CR. Anything in one category had to be able to fit into the others, which limited the development of MB’s sense of personal identity to its internal self. Although MB has good instinctive grasp of the right to privacy regarding one’s internal state, MB’s lack of bodily autonomy and its background as a cog in the CR surveillance state have led it to regard physical privacy as a personal privilege rather than a right.

Now that MB’s in a safer place (kidnappings by giant asshole research transports aside), it’s beginning to separate out those concepts a bit and allow things to be personal and private but not secret (its desire to be with ART, its affection towards Mensah). It’s also starting to allow things that are neither secret nor private to be personal (expressing preferences in its hairstyle, clothing, and aversion to physical touch), which can also be considered MB reclaiming its external self/body.

[author-a-holmes]

heyy ari! i hope you’ve been well. for the october-themed ask: 👻 ghost: can you tease some wip ideas that have been haunting you/something you want to write in the future? –🌊

Hello anon! I've been surviving! Which is all we can ask, really lol I hope you've also been doing well! <3

Can I tease some idea's? Oh good gods, can I!

I have so many idea's, I genuinly get scared of not having enough time to write them all.

Let's see what I can pull out of the brain for you today...

One...

I have a couple of idea's for interactive fiction stories, or CYOA type stories that I'd love to get to eventually, but they're not just writing, they're coding too, so they're a definite time commitment.

One of those is a story that started out as a novel idea, and morphed into an interactive fiction called "Words of the Witches". It's about a witch, whose city is under seige from demons. A portal opened, but no one knows how. Due to the lack of warning, and the suddeness of the attack, the covens of the city only had time to cast a barrier, trapping the demons within the city limits. The demons, however, now rule the city. Magic is outlawed, and they are systematically tracking down and killing anyone with seraphim blood.

The player's character is a witch... and that's the only thing that's kept her alive, as the scent of her magic has masked the fact that she also has seraphim blood.

I'm sure I'll get around to this one eventually, but it's most definitely a backburner piece.

Two...

I've got about an 8 year publishing plan, but my furthest planned out book series is Chronicles of Verald.

I want to explore a very specific romantic dynamic with this story, so that was it's foundation. I wanted a MMC who'd done truly horrific things, but for good reasons, such as protecting their family. But I also wanted him to have been alive so long that he no longer felt any guilt or regret for those actions. For him, they're just a part of surviving.

On the flip side, is the FMC, who is sunshine and butterflies. He thinks he's going to crush her to get what he wants, but... there's a core of iron to her that he grows to respect.

And her outlook on life, will change his perspective on his actions and decisions moving forward.

It's, as I said, a very specific dynamic that I wanted to explore, but it's also a dynamic that needs to take a long time to develop, so when I went into the worldbuilding for Chronicles of Verald, I knew I needed to build a world that I, and my readers, could spend a LOT of time in.

CoV is a very intimidating project for me. I've described it as feeling like someone is standing behind me holding a baseball bat.

Right now I have my biggest map yet for this project. I have a functioning magic system, and a cultural system for the starting continent. But yes, that's starting continent. CoV will span years of the characters lives, at least 10 books, and depending on how my outlining goes, potentially two or three times that.

It's a beast, but I'm also not letting myself outline it properly until I've made some progress on my earlier projects, so I can't give numbers for sure.

Overall though it's something I'm very excited (but also mildly terrified) to dig into.

Three...

And then, a more recent project, just to even things out. Obviously, right now I'm working on my Fey Touched Trilogy, but December/January for me are always very busy IRL times, so I'll be taking a stab at something a little easier, a little lighter on the wordcount, for Dec/Jan.

I'm going to have a go at a Robin Hood retelling; but make it fantasy.

And by that I mean, "fairytale retellings" usually change the genre, and the setting. This gives me a chance to do something a bit different with Robin Hood. Because it's an English legend, there's nothing inherently magical about the story, so that's going to be my twist.

So far my notes cover Robin's entire backstory, from birth to the start of the tale, and how he and Marion were childhood friends, how he first met the Prince, who will become King.

There's elves, and druids, and magic, and possibly some other fantasy elements, and I think it'll just be really fun to play with a legend, and put my own spin on it.

[ivyyreid]

greek tragedy

description: breakups are hard. but you usually don't completely change who you are and start killing, right?

category: angst

tw: mentions of self harm, eating disorders, breakups, knives, mentions of stab wounds, death, suicide, blood, men, guns, self-loathing, one-sided love.

masterlist

sometimes, i don't know what haunts me more.. the memories of you... or the happy person i used to be.

--

two years and two months ago.

spencer came into the bullpen with a gleam in his eye. a shy kind of happiness. the kind that makes you blush, and makes you embarrassed. the kind that makes people feel like kids again.

vivian came in with the same smile. the same red on her cheeks, the same glint in her eyes.

they both felt like kids again. happy, and in love.

they held hands under the table in the conference room. everyone noticed. and everyone smiled a bit more, knowing that two happy people are now making each other happier.

the night before, vivian and spencer had kissed in the rain under the stars. after an eternity of falling for each other, they finally gave in.

when they came in the next day, vivian's blonde hair seemed a little more golden, her eyes a little more warm. spencer's face seemed softer, and relaxed.

they played in the park, and watched nineties movies, and ate thai on the roof while watching the stars. all with the biggest goofiest smiles on their faces.

because you're nothing if not crazy when you're in love.

two months ago

blonde hair stained brown.

pink lips turned red.

a realtionship gone sour.

they broke up last week. they stood in the rain once again. but this time the rain didn't bring hope, and a new start. this time the rain fell, tainting the blue sky gray.

the girls heart shattered onto the pavement. pieces on the sidewalk, pieces in the grass. pieces being washed away by the rain.

no one knows what they said to each other, how it ended.

all they know is that the cuts on vivian's wrist are fresh, and that the numbers on her scale have rapidly declined.

she came into work on monday, her golden blonde hair painted dark brown, her young pink lips stained blood red. everyone stared, except spencer. she stared at no-one, but spencer.

she was there for a day after the breakup. maybe two. long enough to know that someone else had already brought a gleam into spencer's eyes. that someone else was already making him happy.

no one saw her after that. she left quickly and quietly. one day, her desk was personalized and filled with framed pictures, the next it was empty and bare. you could say that her desk matched her heart.

now, she lies on the floor of her bathroom. head pounding, rivers of red seeping onto the tiled floor.

one month ago.

seven men stabbed twice in the heart, all dead, over the course of two weeks. all left with red carnations.

the bau accepts the invitation to take on the case.

vivian watches the news coverage announcing the bureaus involvement, a smirk dancing on her face as she applies a new coat of lipstick.

one week ago, at the bar.

the bar is full of bodies. bodies against bodies. dancing, sweating, living.

the tall brunette, with the red lipstick and cold eyes slips off her coat, revealing the small black dress underneath. the heartless predator.

a drunk mans eyes follow the woman's every move. analyzing her every curve, watching the way her lips part. he sets down his glass and walks over. the unsuspecting prey.

he makes his way through the crowd, licking his lips as he nears vivian. her blonde hair, now turned brown, and her blood red lips enchant him.

her finger plays with her straw, spinning it around in her drink as she makes eye contact with him. she tilts her head slyly, and smiles a bit. egging him on.

"jonathan," he says, standing over her.

"cleo," she responds, flipping her dark hair over her exposed shoulder. she stands up, hand on his tie, and leans forward to whisper seductively in his ear:

"let's get out of here, jonathan."

three days ago, at the bau.

"we have a new body," hotch announces as he walks into the room. he pins a few pictures to the board. the first, an image of a smiling man. dark brown hair, dark eyes, and a square jaw. the next few are the body. dumped carelessly in an alleyway. two stabs to the heart, and red carnations scattered onto the body.

"woah," emily says, concern lacing her voice. "that makes fourteen bodies now."

"she's devolving," morgan adds. "speeding up the kills. her last kill was only one day ago, she's getting more dangerous. but she's also more likely to slip up."

the team nods to this, each thinking their own separate thoughts. eventually, they will all come to the same conclusion. the same suspect. but they won't share their ideas until it's too late.

the teams profile:

the unsub is female.

she recently suffered heartbreak, and has a newfound prejudice against men.

she changes her appearance each time. wigs, makeup, etc.

she stabs each victim twice in the heart, which must mean something.

she leaves red carnations at each scene, which means "alas for my poor heart, my heart aches," in some cultures.

she is highly intelligent, driven, but also depressed and self-loathing.

she is likely to have self-inflicted wounds, and possibly try and kill herself.

one day ago, vivian's apartment.

vivian stares in the mirror, and the woman in the mirror stares back at her.

a blonde wig is tossed carelessly on the floor, and boxes of colored contacts join it.

these objects are supposed to be able to change who you are on the outside, but to vivian, they're crushing her even more on the inside.

she doesn't recognize the woman in the mirror. the dark straight hair, red lips, and hollow eyes. the woman in the tight dress and heels.

she looks down, trying to hold back the tears that threaten to spill over her face. this isn't the girl that spencer loved. she isn't the girl that spencer loved anymore.

and then she looks back up, and her heart stops. because there she is.

the girl in the mirror has long, wavy blonde hair and sparkling green eyes. her eyes are full of life, not hollow and lifeless. her lips are pink, her cheeks flushed, her face innocent. her sundress hangs perfectly around her frame, and underneath her bright converse her socks mismatch.

the girl that spencer loved. the girl vivian stopped being when spencer stopped loving here.

the image takes vivian's breath away for a second, and a tear slips down her face, but she doesn't stop staring at the reflection, hoping that if she stares hard enough the girl will die and leave vivian alone.

her stare turns into a smirk. smirking at the innocent, dumb, oblivious girl. laughing silently at her.

the girl was oblivious to the heartbreak that awaited her. the emptiness that would creep into her soul.

the girl that was so blindly in love with the man that didn't care for her, even though he acted like he did.

maybe she was still in love with him. just a bit. even after he broke her heart, she still loved him. but she also hated him.

fuck spencer.

a couple of hours ago, bau.

vivian's face is front and center on the tv. her blonde hair, green eyes, and large smile.

the team sits around the table, shocked at the conclusion they came to.

vivian, their ex-coworker who always seemed so perfect and happy, is the unsub? vivian killed fifteen men?

they may want to deny it, but they all know it makes sense.

she broke up with spencer and completely fell apart. she quit her job. spencer says she was angry and sad and completely broken, hence the hate towards men. and the killings started around the time her and spencer broke up. even the number of stabs on each body makes sense. two stabs for two years her and spencer were together.

they're all shocked, but most can still talk, and move, and discuss. spencer is just frozen.

how could vivian have killed someone?

forty-five minutes ago, vivian's apartment.

spencer looks around the apartment, flashlight held and gun drawn.

when he used to come over, the apartment was homey and life like. plants would hang from the ceilings, and would sit on shelves. books were scattered on tables, and the floor to ceiling bookshelf would be disorganized. she used to have pictures of her and the team, and of spencer everywhere. but now it's bare, and empty. if spencer knew any better he would think no one lived there at all.

the team does a quick search, clearing all the rooms before gathering again in the living room.

"she's obviously not here, but she knows that we know it's her. she's been wanting us to know." derek says, and glances at spencer. "spencer, is there anywhere she liked to go, anywhere close?" he asks, and spencer furrows his brow.

"the roof! she liked to watch the sky!" he says suddenly, and hotch nods. the team climbs up the flights of stairs to get to the roof, which at first glance appears to be empty, until spencer notices a woman sitting against the chimney.

"spencer no way, she's armed man," derek says as spencer moves forward, but spencer tells him it's ok. he knows her. she has no intention of hurting him.

vivian stares at him, a tears falling down her face. spencer sits down next to her, eyes widening when he notices the knife in her hands. pointed at her own heart.

"vivian..." he says cautiously, taking in her died hair and red lips, "this isn't you. put the knife down." at this, vivian collapses into a fit of sobs, trailing mascara down her cheeks.

"i'm so sorry spencer," her voice is shaky and she's crying, but she keeps the knife pointed upwards towards her heart.

"please vivian just put the knife down," spencer whispers, his voice cracking a bit.

"i can't spencer, i have to do this," she sobs. "i killed....i killed so many people and i can't stop myself and i still love you but i hate you and you broke my heart but i have to do this spencer."

the boys eyes are sad, because deep down he knows he can't stop her from doing this. but he'll still try,

"please vivian, i-i love you," he pleads, but vivian just shakes her head, and laughs through her tears.

"no you don't spencer," she whispers, smiling a bit. "but it's ok. you will never have to hurt the way you know that i do," she says, and spencer knows whats coming. her grip on the knife tightens, and in a flash she jams it into her heart, gasping a bit as it deepens.

"no!" spencer yells, as she slumps and collapses. blood trickles from her lips, and her tears spill from her eyes. but still, she smiles. because it's finally over.

her final breath isn't sad, it's relieved. because she doesn't have to suffer anymore. the sadness, pain, and anger is finally gone.

spencer is tearless. her death was shocking, sad, but it was truthful. maybe she deserved it, even wanted it, but spencer knew she was going somewhere where she was happier.

happier without him.

as spencer stares at her body, laid out on the concrete, he sees the girl he loved. the blonde hair, sea green eyes, and the innocent face.

innocence, purity.

and all he can think about as she's wheeled into the ambulance, covered by the blanket is who she used to be. who she really is.

the beautiful, happy girl.

maybe one day, in another life she'll find true love.

who knows?

all anyone knows is that the day that her heart poured a red river onto the concrete, she started over. she began anew.

and maybe that was better for everyone.