#it feels like it doesnt really get the point across
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
brotherwtf · 3 days ago
Note
Tumblr media
I submit this and humbly request your imagination of a scenario
wait wait this got me thinking about frat boy/preppy Gale, someone who's a little shit kind of like how Gale is in canon, quick one liners to easily make fun of people all while looking so innocent
John who's kind of shy, doesn't really talk to people and keeps to himself, but he opens up more with his friends, some sort of tutor and that's why he's always in the library when Gale finds him
Gale's failing english, point blank period, and he needs to save his grade or he's going to get kicked out of his frat, so he finds John in the library and asks for his help.
and John's nervous because he has a couple of classes with Gale, knows he can be outright cruel if he wants to be, knows he has a beautiful girl on his arm, so he hates himself even more when he gets those stupid teenage butterflies in his stomach whenever he sees Gale, all cleaned up and proper and Johns already so far gone
but Gale's a sweetheart, always kind and quiet with John and while he sometimes teases him it's all in good fun, and Johns always a blushing mess whenever Gale sits next to him and he almost can't concentrate on the assignment they're working on
sometimes Marge will tag along, offer up some unhelpful commentary, maybe she mentions something about Johns glasses "they do nothing for your face, hun" and when Gale gives her a look she feigns innocence "what? I'm just stating the obvious," and Johns up and leaving, trying not to look behind him and have his heart broken again
the next time John meets with Gale he wears his contacts, he almost doesn't recognize himself in the mirror but maybe Marge was right, maybe they were the problem, and he hates to admit that he wants Gale to like him the way he likes her
and when Gale sees him he looks confused, like he's trying to place something until he asks "where are you glasses, John?"
"I decided to wear contacts, Marge was right they're not doing anything for me" John shrugs and Gale furrows his eyebrows together
"I thought your glasses made you look cute," and OOPS John's a fucking goner because now he can't talk and he's rendered speechless and Gales acting like nothing even happened as he very casually pulls out his book and waits for John to get his wits together so he can actually be doing what he's supposed to
and it keeps going on like this "that sweater makes you look cute" "I really like those pants Bucky" "did you do something different with your hair? it looks good" all while John is secretly telling him to shut up because he can't handle all of the compliments lest Gale wants him to pass away from all of the compliments
Gale says one day that he broke up with Marge, couldn't handle her negativity, says he likes how positive John is, and then it's quiet for a moment, Gale fiddling with the pages of his book, and Johns freaking out before Gale just kisses him on the cheek, smiles with the faintest blush and runs out of the library before John can even say anything
he texts Gale after, asks if everything's all right, and Gale doesn't respond, doesn't respond for a couple of days and John worries that their friendship is ruined, blames himself for all of it even though Gale technically kissed him first
he's walking back to his dorm one night when he hears someone call his name, and he turns to find Gale running after him, panting and looking like he just ran across campus
"John, I'm really sorry, but I gotta tell you something. I like you, like I like you a lot, and I'm sorry if kissing you fucked up our friendship, you don't ever have to talk to me again, I just felt like I had to say something before you left," Gale confesses, and it's like John was hit with a fire hose
and he can't quite help himself, doesnt know what happened or what came over him, but he grabs Gale's face and kisses him, almost desperately, and he can feel Gale smile into the kiss, hates but doesn't hate how much he loves how it feels to finally kiss him, after so many hours of quietly watching him, it feels so good
anyway I have this sweet hc where Gale just lifts John's glasses whenever he wants to smush his face against John's, pulls them off so he can sloppily make out with him and I just think that's neat :))
70 notes · View notes
littleeyesofpallas · 1 year ago
Text
Bleach’s Issue with Queer characters (2/3)
Tumblr media
...
Dordonii might seem like a weird one to point out here, compared to some of the more overt examples, but I think he had a fairly evident queer codedness to him.  His more overwhelming quality was his kind of Spanish flair, what with the tap shoes and Flamenco-esque poses and gestures, the devil horns in his greased hair and on his mask shard, and his little Mephistopheles mustache and beard.  But the ear ring, and Flamenco adjacent sex appeal mixed with the way he kind of baby talks Ichigo strikes me as contributing to a certain daddy-ish gay character type.  Also, I’ve never been 100% sure that it’s not just crosshatching, but I’ve always read it as some chest hair peaking out from his low v-neck.  But I feel like that assessment needs some qualifying context...
Western sensibilities tend to read effeminate features on men as a chief indicator of homosexuality, Japan has never been quite as narrowly focused with its own gay stereotypes.  There is definitely a particular character type in anime and manga that pins the preening vanity of smooth faced and long haired effeminate men on homosexuality, but it’s not really the go-to.  Tracing back to media trends of the 1970s the long haired, smooth chested pretty boy (even the gay ones) very much became the domain of female audiences and creators, where as the prevailing trends of gay portrayals by and for men actually settled more firmly on the hairy and muscular image that bara is associated with now.  I'm not about to do a whole big breakdown of the japanese gay subculture behind the bara thing, because that deserves more time and attentio that i can give it here, but you've got a keyword to work with now, so I encourage you to do a little googling yourself.
Also he has his right ear is pierced?  I don't know if this was ever a thing in Japan, but in America it became kind of a wide spread myth(?)  Originally it actually was a functioning kind of code within the queer community in the 1960s and 70s, but after it became somewhat more generally well known the practice more or less stopped, for pretty obvious practical reasons... but weirdly enough by the sheer power of stupid homophobia, straight people continued to scrutinize and be paranoid of men with pierced ears for decades following.  Again, though, I have no idea if either the original intent or the misinformation of that trend was ever anything that had any kind of Japanese presence...
Anyway... What I’m getting at is Dordonii feels very queer coded to me, just not in ways that everyone picks up on.  But speaking of muscular hairy gays...  Let’s talk about an elephant in the room:
Tumblr media
Charlotte Chuhlhourne:
Obviously, Kubo doesn’t quite have the tact to make use of queer identities in a totally respectful way, so it’s hard to tell how much is attributable to Kubo making a character exactly as they appear, and what could be argued to be a character’s theoretical self-identifying terms filtered through Kubo’s limited vernacular.  But the word to know here is Okama[オカマ], which has traditionally referred to gay, AMAB transvestites.  Obvious stumbling point here is that prior to more widely codified and accepted trans identities this term applied to both transwoman and drag queens.
Granted until fairly recently(by which I mean within the relatively short spand my own lifetime) even the queer community at large didn’t always differentiate the two very well; presentation was presentation, the circumstances for it and the specificities of achieving it were personal choices, not taxonomical crossroads; some moonlit as queens and that was it, others would’ve lived as women and never walked a show in their life if that had been a practical option, others still were happily gender fluid, but the scene had one look and one label.  We made due with what we had.
Anyway...  point being that Charlotte’s character is specifically a play into an Okama stereotype.  That is to say, the archetypal look of Okama in Japanese media for many years has been a middle aged, square jawed, often broad or even muscular, drag queen.  Although Charlotte doesn’t actually have one, they are also frequently shown with a muzzle of stubble growing in.  Despite what you might think about jabs at the beard as a masculine feature betraying their feminine presentation, it’s actually not (usually) the reason...
The image comes out of Japan’s gay bar scene --in Tokyo, Shinjuku-Nichoume in particular-- which has long been a cultural centerpiece of Japan’s gay culture.  The larger Shinjuku ward as as whole is itself a commercial district.  So, to the general public who didn’t have any interaction with gay culture itself, the small glimpse they had was from the crossing paths of salarymen commuting into work as straggler okama headed home from the bars the morning after, still in drag and makeup but with unshaven stubble growing in after a long night.
Tumblr media
(Also, just a side note on this, but if you’ve ever seen an older (usually bigger) woman with a deep, brassy voice in kind of sultry night attire at a bar referred to as “Mama,” it’s because that’s the owner of a okama bar.  She’s not literally anyone’s mother, she’s the defacto den-mother of sorts for the patrons of her bar.)
It’s still definitely not a flattering portrayal, but it’s one with a very specific history that doesn’t communicate to Western audiences at all.  But there is a certain strangeness to how the Japanese handle this, comparatively.  While Western rhetoric has its hangups with moralist preaching and bitching and moaning about “degeneracy” and “deviancy,” those judgments just aren’t baked into Japanese culture in quite the same way.  In fact, while most of these okama caricatures by and for cishetero creators/audiences are definitely not what anyone would call “good” representation, they do lack a certain expected malice.  Sure, flamboyant bafoonery is a constant in exploitation of gay culture on either side of the Pacific, but where as the West uses this as a means to disarm gay men --to make them non threatening, or to rationalize not taking them seriously-- anime manga and even videogames tend to fixate on the curiosity of it.
(although one enduring, generally positive case of this that actually seems to fly super under western audience’s radars are the great fairys in Zelda. which have maintained their extremely obvious dragqueen inspired look since OoT)
Tumblr media
One of the first encounters with the okama charactertype that I only learned to identify looooong after the fact is the Magypsies (haha oh boy that localized choice of slur...) in Earthbound. On the one hand they were treated as a bizarre spectacle and literally not human, but they were magical and benevolent and a little comical but not in the way where they were relegated to being the punchline of a joke and nothing else. And I've found over the years that that tends to be the tone of these kinds of characters.
Another very similar case of this is Ivankov in One Piece, the Kamabakka kingdom Okama and Newkama, including Bonclay/Mr.2. (His "okama way" gimmick being a play on the hardboiled gritty actionhero cliche of a "man's way.")  Where on the one hand, it’s a disgusting, tacky use of the familiar okama cliches, but also their very existence as okama is painted as the basis of their unique form of super power?  Really, it’s just so wildly divorced from reality that it’s hard to even call it “representation,” harmful or otherwise...  Still, in impossibly poor taste based on optics alone, though.
Tumblr media
This all is not to try and sweep under the rug that these are still ultimately problematic stereotypes and caricatures to have to debrief each new generation of viewer on just to avoid the slippery slope of total misinterpretation, but I've noticed that there is a distinct difference in how that tone is read. The overwhelming attitude I see from these creators is that these long standing cliches are how okama look and act, but that it makes them interesting or funny, and yes “other,” but rarely lesser.  Obviously that's still rooted deeply in ignorance on part of these non-queer creators, but you can see how it lacks the teeth that the western equivalent has, where such caricatures are explicitly there to defame and demonize, and I think that’s an important distinction to make.
(And let’s not even get into the issue of fake “woke” white people struggling to wrap their tiny brains around the idea of another culture by framing it as that culture’s unique idiosyncrasies as if they’re just failed attempts at conforming to white anglo-centric western values, because THAT is a whole other can of worms...)
Tumblr media
To maybe put this into some better perspective here, Tier Harribel has blond hair and tan skin, and given what the Arrancar are and how they live she is presumably naturally dark skinned, and naturally blonde.  But her design is clearly based on gyaru/gal (or possibly ganguro) fashion, which makes use of fake tans and bleached hair.  She looks the way she does because she's made to look like that aesthetic, but looking the way she doesn't doesn't imply she bleaches and tans(presumably those colors are both natural on her in-world). 
That same relationship of image inspiring image while being divorced from meaning is just kind of how Kubo makes these kinds of aesthetic decisions, all across the board, problematic or not.  But of course no one really cares about it when it’s a weird recontextualization of the gal aesthetic because no one’s offended on their behalf.
And in general, I think a lot of these things are just so outside the Western perspective that even when they definitely are problematic, some people can’t even begin to grasp what about it is, and end up fabricating just nonsense arguments against it to rationalize a kneejerk kind of discomfort and confusion over the subject...
Anyway...  having said all that, the next one actually IS a huge problem...
[1][2][3]
90 notes · View notes
rexscanonwife · 9 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
ouugghh.. I had to draw a little something based off that post I made last night about padawan having their braids put in by their masters and it's a little bit messy and a little bit rough (don't say anything about how the style changes from panel to panel 😭) but I just wanted to put out this tender moment between Kepler and Brea from their early days!! 💖🫶💖
Tumblr media
(Plus a bonus side by side comparison! 😊)
Taglist ♡: @crushes-georg @changeling-selfship @me-myself-and-my-fos @tiny-cloud-of-flowers @sunstar-of-the-north @dearly-beeloved @adoredbyalatus @squips-ship @drjohndisco
117 notes · View notes
opens-up-4-nobody · 8 months ago
Text
...
#its seems we really may be at the end of vanity#i missed a call from my dad and thought we might be in a connors birthday situation but no. not yet#he did say that it feels like this is it bc my mom's situation is complicated bc she has so much wrong at this point#its like a h0use md episode. the doctors dont seem to kno what to do and shes not very coherent#so my dad was saying that i should look at flights and by tonight hell let me kno if i should pull the trigger and buy a one way ticket home#it sucks. he sounds rough. i feel so bad for him. his wife of 29 years is dying#its not fair. shes only 53#i wanna be there but im stuck here across the country. i wanna go home. thats a bit frighting tho bc itll take me at least 10 hrs to travel#and i dont want her to die while im in the air but i also dont want her to suffer#i hope she gets better but if she doenst i hope its fast. there dont seem to do any good options. shes so tried and its so complicated#and if she does get better than this then what would that even mean? my sister says it doesnt feel like there will b a better anymore after#this. and bless her to the ends of the earth she reached out this morning and was giving me updates#comforting to kno im not just being dramatic. its actually just really bleak#its kinda funny tho. my sister was like meh it doesnt seem so bad and then like 10min later she was like yeah no i was wrong its sorta#horrible apprently shes been deterorating#god. if i go back home do i take clothes for a funeral? do i keep up to date with my genomics class? will i become offset from my graduate#cohort? will i get my wish to play with legos at home? all questions worth considering#well. ill deal with whatever comes. so it goes. itll b fine. i mean ill b fine#just sad ya kno?#three weeks ago she was alright and saying she could fly out to take care of me after oral surgery#now shes dying#unrelated
16 notes · View notes
multimaniac · 4 months ago
Text
if I were the writers I would have added a scene to the first divorce arc where after their argument cas is alone and he's missing dean and it hurts! but! he doesn't understand why it hurts and so he first thinks smth is wrong w his vessel. and then he slowly puts a hand on his chest and lets his grace glow to try and heal his heart. but. of course it doesn't work! and he's left confused and sosososo alone because the ache isn't physical, it's.........agdjdksjdkdkkdkksk........... no i shan't say
5 notes · View notes
cl0wn-republic · 11 months ago
Note
Do you think Sun/Moon and Vanessa/Vanny get/got along decently well do to going through such similar experiences
The whole jekyll and hyde thing
Im pretty sure this is actually canon since Vanny did seem to favor Moon, I can't remember everything now but there was some things tying to two together such as Vanny having a Moon blanket and other stuff I can't find at the moment. Also the secret ending does seem to directly tie the two together (I mean we know Moon is just kinda like that (confirmed in the books) but I think the glitch just made him physically violent than just threatening?)
Idk about Vanessa and Sun however, she didn't seem to find any of the other animatronics amusing so a hyperactive Sun might've been too much for her? Unlike Moon and Vanny there isnt much with them.
Plus Moon may just be her favorite in general hence why Vanny seems to favor them as well, tho ofc her liking the violent robot seems to be on par for her. And well we do know Sun and Moon is literally an allegory for Vanessa and Vanny idk if them having similar experiences has anything to do with them liking each other because while Sun is fully aware of Moon Vanessa in SB didn't seem fully aware of Vanny, enough to know somethings up but not enough to really do anything,? (If she knew she wouldn't have gone after Gregory and locked him in a one way room plus an added layer of plus subconscious brain washing may have played into that)
I'm not the best at formulating my thoughts nor did I ever expect to get an ask like this but I hope this gets my point across well enough haha.
I'll probably have more thoughts later and talk more since HW2 just came out and I'm still waiting to see if theres more than what we currently have (I think we found everything but theres probably easter eggs/secrets by getting out of bounds. I"m very interested in the Whack-A-Bon arcade section since we know about GGY from the books so maybe there's a reference there?)
9 notes · View notes
swaggy-transfag · 7 months ago
Text
Thought of making a post abt my struggles with communicating and getting my thoughts out in words. But then i was struggling too much abt how to word it so it made sense, so i gave up
4 notes · View notes
marklikely · 2 years ago
Text
the framing of the critic character in the menu really pissed me off bc no offense but if i was paying 12k for a meal and you served me a broken emulsification id comment on it too
#man. she was engaging in good faith with the art of the meal the entire time and the movie is just like. lol isn't she sooo pretentious#isnt it so pretentious to engage with high art and try to read into the artistry of it. just eat a cheeseburger#god that movie thematically was so stupid.#avpost#i have watched enough food network to know that not breaking a sauce is like#its not easy but its a basic skill that a professional chef is expected to have. and youre charging thousands for this#within your own metaphor its like you can't get pissy when a critic notices your very rookie mistakes#that frankly you shouldn't be making at a high level of prestigious art.#also for me any art thats like 'look this critic character is so mean they just hurt the poor artists' will literally never play#if one honest negative review shuttered your small business restaurant then maybe you were bad at food. sorry#AND LIKE. ok i know plenty of art has been unfairly panned by critics who didnt really get it#but in my eyes when i see a piece of art complain abt critics it doesnt come across that way#its more like 'im a scam artist and i dont like that critics can call me out for making garbage and passing it off as art'#thats just always how it plays to my eyes and ears yknow#like it feels overly defensive and thin skinned like you just cant handle people not liking your creation.#so yeah. im always gonna like default to 'idk man maybe the critics had a point about you'#im also just in general like. i dont often agree with professional critics but im glad they exist. im pro critique.#which makes me biased lol
10 notes · View notes
steelycunt · 2 years ago
Note
okay so i don’t mind reg bc w/e this is fandom innit ppl can do what they want, but i think you’re so right that remus and lyall are fundamentally much more interesting characters and so is their relationship. reg by himself is somewhat compelling but no one in the fandom seems to care abt what makes him compelling i.e. stuff that actually happened in canon not just fanfictions that he’s been featured in. for instance, i see it being stated as though it’s fact that his parents abused him which we don’t know iirc? we know that sirius was mistreated and i do think being raised by political radicals would likely cause a turbulent home life, so i doubt regulus came out of his childhood unscathed, but we have no actual proof he was treated similarly to sirius at all. he was still a supremacist, just not to the extent that his parents were. as far as i’m concerned he died a fascist, but he had a “for thee but not for me” tory level attitude about certain things.
oh absolutely! with regards to my position on regulus, im in no way trying to say that people can’t/shouldn’t like him—as you say, people can do as they like, but im just personally not at all interested in him or with what general fandom consensus has chosen to do with him. the things that would make regulus compelling in canon do not necessarily compel me anyway, but more than that i agree that a lot of people have chosen to virtually wipe those things out out in favour of creating a morally pure conceptualisation of him that they don’t feel the need to defend (not that i think anyone should have to defend having an interest in regulus anyway).
i suppose i am just not personally predisposed to having an interest in canon regulus, so his popularity is not something i fully understand, but particularly the version of him that has been created by fanon...honestly i find him irritating, and generally i find even less to be interested in in a conceptualization of regulus that strips him of agency, flaws and responsibility. i said in that other post that i dont think regulus is as complex as he's given credit for (which applies even more once fanon is through with him), and i honestly stand by it--i reckon he was fully willing, albeit having been influenced by his upbringing, to become a death eater, and i don't buy the narrative that he had no choice and was forced into it and had no personal sympathy with the politics of it all. i find it ridiculously convenient. and then, i think he started having doubts when the impact of all it all became a little too close for comfort (for thee but not for me is quite a perfect summary lol), and he turned traitor. that is really all there is to it for me. i do not think that he would have rejected his parents' ideology if given the chance, the way sirius did. but i recognise really, since i don't think a character's morality or lack thereof should dictate whether you're allowed to enjoy them, the discussion of regulus' morality is sort of besides the point lol, other than the fact that i find his complete and unrealistic redemption via fanon rather boring and admittedly a little lazy.
my comparison between his relationship with sirius and lyalls relationship with remus in the earlier post was mainly just me. making a joke of sorts and being a little unserious, but i do genuinely think lyall and remus are a lot more interesting and complex--though i 100% recognize that this is largely personal preference and im not trying to dress my opinion as an objective fact. mainly, i guess where i am with it all is that i already dont really have an interest in regulus from canon, and despite his huge surge in popularity i have never seen anything in fanon that really changes my mind about that (apart from. maybe one fic). which is fine! nobody is obligated to sit here and try and tailor their own takes on, or fondness for, this guy to attract my interest, or win me over. that is not their job. my opinion holds no more weight than the next guy's, and my lack of interest in regulus is not anyone else's problem, just like i am not ever going to exert energy trying to win someone over to liking remus or liking r/s. i am never going to go to someone's blog or fic and have a go at them for liking regulus/demand they justify themselves. BUT, in the safety of my own blog, i figure im safe to say these things xx and as far as im concerned, my favourite thing regulus ever did was piss off and die xx
18 notes · View notes
marsbotz · 2 months ago
Text
rewatching nature i dont want to make one billion posts abt it so heres alllllll my nature thoughts as we go lets go wheeeeeee
#orels 'thats it?' like hes realising there WAS no real point to this other than pure punishment. like he didnt even really learn anything#i realised this earlier but i love all the stuffed animals in clays study. making up for that missed hunting trip i see#the bit of clay going to hand the gun to orel and then pulling away again to gesture some more is really funny#oh my godddddd theres so much more even bewtween grounded and this. I NEED TO WATCH THR CHRONOLOGICAL CUTTTTTT#the number of times clay references either being a MAN or calls orel a girl in this. i seeeeee#IDK WHAT THE BIRD IS i know the bird is Something. it was in another ep but i forget which#i think it was the prequel ep. maybe. sorry man im not smart enough to figure that out#ok theh cup holder on the rifle is crazy funny#eating the dog is crazyyyy i feel like it cld have gotten the point across w eating the deer butttt#idk i guess it crosses that line to make clay seem even more repulsive here. so it works#but also insane seeing the fucking. DOG in the bg of the argument etc#WHY IS HE EATING THE PAWWWWW LMAOOOO. the worst part ever#eurrghhh the way clay antagonises orel over the food. dud u do not have tp one up ur child. seriously#OOUUUAHHHHHH the way orels glare breaks when clay insults him.... blarrrghhhh#stealing this from a comment but how clay says 'look on the blight side' and 'my life is sunny and blight'#cus like technically he HAS a 'good' life. married w kids and a good job. but he cant get any joy out of it and refuses to see the positive#u know. even if he doesnt love bloberta if he tried they cld still get along. and he has a reallyyy sweet kid who adored him#he cld have used his position to make a positive impact#but he doesnt. he runs and he hides and he pushes everyone away#orel tearing up at hearing clay say he hates himself is sooooooo fucking real man. it hurts#been there one billion million times. so painful#interesting how clay extends his hatred for bloberta to Every Woman Ever.#wonder if he had any relationships before her and how they turned out. badly id imagine#he says that marriage isnt for him but its kinda unclear if thats bc hes had a terrible history w love or hes just not interested#not sure if u cld say it extends to his own mother or not.#i guess u cld say that over the yrs his guilt twisted into hating her in some way. maybe for spoiling him so much#like in relation to his comments abt like. making him feel better and then choking him. and weights around his neck#the first is obvs abt the alcohol and the second bloberta#and also vice versa it kinda goes both ways#but i do wonder if he does still feel guilt abt what happened. hes sshown to be deeply affected by his fathers abuse still so hmmm
0 notes
ileftherbackhome · 4 months ago
Text
and the bitch of it all, in real life, when you're met with a person you love saying some really fucking racist shit like "i dont vote because it makes me so angry and stressed that i just cant for my mental health" the correct response in that moment is to meet them with empathy and understanding while being realistic about how privileged of a take that is. you can't sit there and let your initial anger get the best of you if you ever wish to have people do what needs to be done to get the results you wish to see in society. you have to be like "i totally understand" even if you dont before explaing your perspective as non-judgmentally as possible "but for me, personally, i do not do anything else like protest or donate to funds so voting is the bare minimum because when you don't vote, people die which is harsh to hear i guess but it's the reality of the situation" and you have to hold space for their stupid ass defenses AND educate them on how complicit they are to enabling all the things they complain about.
it all fucking sucks man. welcome to the real world kid.
1 note · View note
two-calicos-in-a-trenchcoat · 8 months ago
Text
I can not tell if harley is sick or if her allergies are just worse this year
Other than more frequent sneezing and being a little quieter and a little extra sleepy last week shes acting totally normal
But shes not lethargic. She didn't eat or drink much yesterday but sometimes that fluctuates anyway and shes been eating and drinking just fine today and had been before yesterday except maybe Wednesday but the weather was fluctuating again and allergens were high that day
Its possible shes having a reaction to the carpet cleaner cuz that was in and on my vacuum when I used it Monday (and her symptoms showed up soon after that) and I havent washed my rug so its possible I didn't get all of it back out of the rug after the vacuum spit it out
So im gonna clean my room this week and dust and wash everything and see if that helps
Like she was less sneezey when my mom took her outside earlier than she's been in the house all week (and she spends most of her time in my room)
Tumblr media Tumblr media
She was doing yoga
0 notes
opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years ago
Text
...
#ay ay ay. now that the soul crushing project is done ive elected to spend the week managing data#which is decidedly more chill than what ive been doing for the last month but also isnt not doing anything and it isnt getting stuff done#for when i have to move. so thats annoying. and ive been drawing again at least but i can feel the escalation in my controlling behavior#so its now very frustrating trying to draw anything. coloring is gonna take a million years rip.#also suddenly everyone wants to b social rn? like tomorrow my boss is organizing a thing with an old lab mate and this weekend a#collaborator is having a retirement party. and next week my lab mates wanna do a trivia night. and i kno that i should go to these things.#and i will try but i really dont want to go to any of it. mostly for driving reasons but also im a husk of a person rn. but the more#devastating thing is that uh next week one of the kids i grew up with is getting married to a rich girl lol. and like we werent that close#bc i was and am such an asocial freak but after the wedding my parents r picking up their new camper and camping their way across the#country with my sisters. and im sure someone probably told me the dates of these things at some point but if u tell me dates i will#instantly forget them. so thats. ya kno. happening over basically the next 2 weeks while i have to kill myself over measurements for a#different study i dont care abt. and like. its fine. ill see them mid may for a different planned trip. it just makes me kinda sad#a product of living halfway across the country i guess. im just inherently more disconnected to everyone. i would suspect thsts semi#intentional subconsciously. u cant b upset abt not being able to connect with ppl if you create enough physical distance that u never see#them in the 1st place. u cant misunderstand me if i make myself absent and unknowable. idk. i was explaining to my mum that i didnt realize#the timeline and she was like. understandable whatever u wanna do! and idk y that upsets me so much. i guess its just that i dont want to b#doing this. its causing me pain but dont kno how to articulate it in a way that makes sense. whatever. my mouth hurts. my lips r so chapped#that the irritation is spread past my lip line. probably doesnt help thst i keep rubbing at it lol. anyway things r still annoying#less soul crushing thsn last week but still frustrating#unrelated
7 notes · View notes
vaugarde · 2 months ago
Text
finished “yellowface”. goddamn that was a ride… highly highly recommend if you like villain protagonists
#i didnt mention it as much but i liked all the stuff with the publishing industry in this and feeling like a fraud as a creative#except june is like. actually a fraud. but still#but it did resonate with me as someone whos recently realized he doesnt want to be a big name author and get too deep in the industry#like. the fear of never being known and dying without leaving an impact. bc books are a way to immortalize yourself#and the stress of wanting to be a big name even though you dont have the chops for it#and i still want to write. i love it. but i dont think i want to do it for a living yknow? and thats a heartwrenching thing to accept rn#bc its something i wanted for the longest time but i dont think my adhd will allow it for me anymore#ik none of this is the real point of the novel and obviously my experience is very different. bc im quitting before im even starting really#and im obviously not plagiarizing dead poc#but yeah i think junes a really well written villain protagonist bc her motivations are born from extreme insecurity from the industry#who cant see that poc have it even harder than her in the industry#because of tokenism and fetishism#because shes gotta be the ultimate victim#i really hope it hasnt come across like im complaining about the character or the book when i post passages#bc like yeah june fucking sucks ass. but shes SUPPOSED to suck ass. its the point. youre rooting for her downfall#and i think shes a great example of a villain protagonist like major props for kuang bc that shit is HARD to do#and a lot of the stuff it has to say about white women victimhood is great#because its the core of junes character and it defines EVERYTHING she does and really shows how insidious it all is#echoed voice
3 notes · View notes
bitchlessdino · 1 year ago
Note
hello! 🤍 can i request a bad boy type wonwoo having a soft spot for also a cold type reader?
like they always acting so cold towards other people and even both of them acting like they hate each other.
and people are like "oh there is no way they can date", but wonwoo is only kind to reader and viceversa even without them noticing
Oh, and they dont even realized their feelings until reader feels jealous when they saw wonwoo with someone else and thats when they realized about it, but are afraid to said something since reader doesnt know how wonwoo will react
Kinda angst maybe, but fluff at the end
take your time btw! 🤍 it is also totally okay if is not possible, hope you are having an excellent day 🌸
Tumblr media
Pairing: wonwoox gn!reader Genre: slight angst, fluff, slice of life Word count: 6.3k tags: mentions alcohol, childhood au, biker!wonu, frienemy!wonwoo, possible love triangle, reader called a bitch, presence of violence and imminent danger, analogy using car wrecks, mc and wonwoo stilling living with their parents as adults because that's normal ok, kinda messy, intimates kisses Summary: Hard to maintain a good acquaintanceship if it started off on the wrong foot, but Wonwoo tries to do just that, no matter how much you resent him from childhood. Now reunited as adults, you're questioning whether your negative impression of him has stuck since being away or have you grown up just enough to realize how much between the two you have changed? author note: this was collecting dust but finally she is here. just in time for wonwoo to be in my bias list 🙂
Tag: @shiningstar-byulxx @misssugarlips @tommolex @hoeforhao @goblinvern @dkakapizzaboy @junhui-recs @svtup @buffhoshi @meowmeowminnie @caratochan @lovebot4han @6969lilithcat @camisun93 @emmmui @toruro @jeonride @novalpha @nvmrljk @feat-sun @tinkerbell460 @aaniag @tacosandbitch
You will never willingly be associated with Jeon Wonwoo. 
His mom had just happened to be someone your mom knew. Someone that she hadn’t talked to or seen in a long time. Long enough to have built their own families and have their kids without realizing it. It was as if they fell back into place. A long-time childhood friendship that quickly rekindled in a grocery store one day. From that day on, your families were inseparable. As long as they were still friends, you’d see each other every day.
“Why would I babysit some weirdo kid? I have better things to do.”
The problem was he wanted nothing to do with you.
When you met him the first time, you were a child barely getting around to a bike without training wheels, and Wonwoo was meeting the first stages of fungal acne. He was a bit older than you were then and his mom had given him the duty to look after you, the neighbor’s kid. The neighbor’s weirdo kid.
His mom bragged to yours about how good of an older brother he was to his younger brother, Seonwoo, but that seemed that seems to be his limit. Having freshly turned a teen, it all made sense. Wonwoo didn’t know you, and all of a sudden in his growing years he’s stuck taking care of a kid he knows by association. Understandably, he’d have that teen angst.
You didn't mean to overhear. You just happened to eavesdrop behind a pillar that day in their obnoxiously nice house when you came across him and his mother talking privately. Admittedly, you hadn’t made the best impression, but you were any kid in their single digits: annoying, talkative, maybe skeptical. But you were a kid. A kid that got their feelings easily hurt.
Despite saying such hurtful words, Wonwoo listened. He treated you with care–consideration almost–following his mother's orders, but you didn't make it easy for him. Every group breakfast, every dinner, every ride to school. You became relentless. You knew how he really felt about your situation after all. Your mind was made up at that point.
If he wanted nothing to do with you, you wanted nothing to do with him. 
“Keep walking.”
Your eyes barely glaze over at the unfamiliar figure before waving off your hand as if dismissing a nuisance, which in this case was accurate. The unsolicited stranger scoffs, getting up from his unwelcome seat, hacking and spitting on the spot on the floor next to your chair. “I don’t fuck with bitches anyway.”
You roll your eyes as you shoo him away with the flick of your wrist again, then feel another unwanted presence join you in your once peaceful solitude. You tightly shut your eyes in frustration before taking a deep exhale, finding silence impossible under your circumstances. “I don’t want to hear it, Jeon.”
“I wasn’t gonna say anything,” you hear Wonwoo arrogantly chuckle, shrugging off the thick leather off his shoulders and setting them on his lap as he takes a seat.
With your back turned to him, you imagine the pristinely lit smile on his face he gives when he’s amused, a rarity in these parts with the exception of you, someone he’s known long enough to recount every blemish that once appeared on your face. He watches you finish the rest of your drink, the bob of your throat shifting before you pull the glass away from your lips. Your resting bitch face is still intact after all these years.
“Good, keep it that way.” 
Wonwoo could have chosen to keep the peace as he said he would, but it was just too easy with you. Even after you’ve left for college and come back, he acts as if nothing has changed. In his eyes, you were still that same angsty kid who always has something snarky to say when he’s around. And man, did he always have just as smart a rebuttal. “It’s just, that was the fifth guy you’ve scared off—course, the guy was a moron—but you like dying alone, Frosty?”
Frosty. The Snowman. Much unlike the jolly creature, however, you were given that name being somewhat of a cold character, particularly to Wonwoo and anything he witnesses face the wrath of your harsh but honest judgment. 
You begin getting up from your seat, scowling at the abhorred nickname, the prediction of this dinner a mistake an accurate calculation. “Should’ve known you’d run your mouth. Tell mom I’m heading to the store across the street.”
Your mother was so proud to have you back home for a period before you’d find a new place again, and she insisted on holding a small intimate gathering at bar type restaurant. That meant sharing the space with other patrons, the Jeons, and unfortunately Wonwoo, who only grew more irritating than you last remember. 
“I’ll tell her, but I’m coming with.”
The caretaker role he was bestowed upon so long ago seems to resonate with him still, insisting on trailing behind you with nonchalance. To which you answer with a brash:
“Fuck off.”
Your eyes go to the back of your skull the nth time tonight before you’re off on your stroll, noticing the annoying scrap of Wonwoo’s heel following behind you after he waves your mom and the rest of the party farewell. You ignore him, darting towards the antique shop that warms your stomach with nostalgia, hearing the wind chimes clang when you enter with a cool musk breeze to follow.
“That all you have to say to me? Even if you hate me, there has to be some…sentiment.” 
You finger through the old hardcovers, eyes scanning over the aged wood of the shelves until they move on to the glossy wood of the cuckoo clocks on the walls. “Not even a little bit, Jeon.”
There’s the breathiness of his scoff that lingers in the musk air. He crosses your arms, the leather rubs loudly against itself. “Well, that’s sad to hear,” he responds, not sounding sad at all.
“Don’t you have an actual sibling to bother? Why are you being a nuisance to me?”
He simply shrugs. “Seonwoo isn’t back from his work-study just yet. Plus he’d be happy to know I kept you company.”
Unlike Wonwoo, Seonwoo was actually tolerable, pleasant even. If you were envious of Wonwoo for anything, it was having a nice little brother like Seonwoo. You weren’t exactly close but he was a nice kid, a lot nicer than Wonwoo anyway, and not at all that annoying kind of nice that chirps every two seconds.
You sigh. “Now that’s actually sad to hear.”
“I knew you’d say that. You always liked him better than me.”
Only because you never liked me in the first place.
“Mmhmm.”
“Oh my god, Wonwoo?”
A shrill voice beckons from the store entrance, an older version of a girl from your adolescence runs towards you both. “I thought I heard your gorgeous voice. Gorgeous face as well as always, how are you?”
Gina also grew up in the same neighborhood you both did and was typically nice, but around Wonwoo, she seemed to lose all train of thought since all her eyes could train on was him. She bats her eyelashes the same flirtatious way several years ago, and instinctively her body is drawn to him like mosquitos to blood, drinking in masculine appearance for all its worth.
If you were anything like her, you’d get it. Wonwoo is an attractive man by society's standards, but the truth of the matter is you can’t stand him. And you know deep down he can’t stand you. His fake politeness isn’t fooling anybody. Okay, that is a lie. His fake politeness doesn’t fool you, but his limitless charm made everyone else weak in the knees.
“Good, good.” He nods cordially, a smile drained from his face only leaving a straight stare, eyes only landing on Gina momentarily before they return to you.
Gina finds his gaze’s target before the light is slightly dimmed from her initially bright eyes. “And you too. Oh gosh, you must’ve got back too. Can you believe we’ve both graduated from college?”
You wonder if she does, considering you did graduate from the same university.
“Yeah, it’s…crazy.” You answer, sounding unintentionally sarcastic.
Gina awkwardly chuckles, eyes back on Wonwoo as if they never left. “All we need is Seonwoo and it’s like the musketeers again, huh?”
Hardly the musketeers when she only ever stalked Wonwoo the entire time. You’re surprised you didn’t find she didn’t follow him all the way to the bathroom too.
Wonwoo’s cold expression is a steel cage that lacks interest. He blindly nods, mumbling “sure,” and not giving any other sign of continuing the conversation.
“Well, you guys should totally make it to my housewarming party. I’m inviting all the other guys from the neighborhood. Invite Seonwoo too! It’ll be a nice way to catch up.”
“We’ll think about it,” Wonwoo answers, giving her another curt nod.
“I’ll be really, really grateful if you did.”
There are stars in her eyes, like a treat is dangling in front of it, that treat being a six-foot body of steel and perfect Wonwoo.
 “Right,” he grunts.
She finally waves you both goodbye before making it past the glass doors with a quirk in her step.
You continue to peruse the rest of the store, picking up that one wooden statue that’s never been sold, or if it has, it keeps getting returned. It makes you wonder if it’s cursed. “Just reject her already and let her move on. Even I feel sorry for her.”
“I���m not ready for the aftermath of all that.”
You really have to unlearn that eye roll of yours. You could tell it’s giving you a headache. “Of course you aren’t.”
“You’re not going, are you? The thing she mentioned?”
“This the first time you met me? Of course, I’m not going. You are?”
He shrugs. “A party never hurt anybody.” 
“Without an address?”
He pulls out his phone with a notification as clear as day, Gina’s Instagram handle ushering him with details of where the party whereabouts. “Who said I didn’t have an address?”
“She really needs to find a hobby.”
Wonwoo chuckles, tucking the phone back in his front pocket. “Ready to head back now? Unless you want to look through the store a second time.”
You groan. “Stop policing me. I’m going home.”
“I’ll take you.” 
You raise your brow. “On your fucking death trap? No thanks.”
He scoffs, crossing his arms, the leather of his jacket speaking out of turn again. “You say that as if people aren’t begging to the back of my Harley.”
“Only people with a death wish.”
That goes on for some time until you make yourself walk the mile before your feet give out. Wonwoo obviously is the first with a smile on his face before he forces you to get the rest of the couple miles on the back of his bike, which was admittedly prettier in person than the photos your mom showed you. 
There’s a bitter taste in your mouth as you get on—no doubt regret—questioning the proximity. “Hold on,” he says, to which you answer, “fat fucking chance.”
Your spiteful words are wasted as you find yourself tugging on him as you speed off on the vehicle from hell on the freeway.
“You’re an asshole!” You scream from your lungs.
“And I told you to hold on!” He screams back, a wide smile on his face you have no way of seeing.
You desperately wrap your arms around his torso, your life flashing before your eyes like a movie. All you hear is the wind in your ears while the traffic lights are hardly visible through your tightly shut eyes. You feel your soul leave your body, thinking nothing but the idea of an afterlife. If there was one good thing about the predicament you’re in, it’d be that he can’t see the terror in your eyes. He doesn’t know how much you want to scream bloody murder.
Before you know it, you arrive home safe and sound, the gas stopping at the curb of your house. He abruptly uses the bike break and you crash against broad shoulders, and you exude bumbling idiocy as you cling to him like a baby with separation anxiety. Oxygen finally enters your brain and you recognize your compromised position, forcing your grip off of him. You unbuckle and shove his helmet into his lap as you get off, a permanent scowl on your face. 
“Fuck you.”
“Glad to see you haven’t changed, Frosty.”
You don’t forget that encounter back then and you never get a chance to with your mom finding any excuse to see the Jeons day after day since your arrival. If that perfect apartment with affordable rent were to drop at your feet at a perfect time just when you so desperately needed it, it’d be now.
“Bring that in over next door. The Jeons will be thrilled to see their fridge stocked. And remember I’ll be gone until the morning.”
“We just gave them homemade wine yesterday. Mom, just because they live next door doesn’t mean we always have to plan to meet. We see them anyway.” You grab the cumbersome container of whatever it was anyway and hold it to your side like like a football, a strained expression on your face.
“You need to understand the value of lasting relationships. That’s why you’re still single, honey.”
You roll your eyes, groaning as you trod off, not wanting to start up another one of lectures why you're in your mid-twenties room with hardly any men in your books let alone in your court. Better off facing Jeon Wonwoo again than that, you guess.
You knock on their familiar white door, awaiting an answer from the other side. Soon enough you hear a masculine voice, but a voice that isn’t quite Wonwoo’s. The boy's fresh face on the receiving end piques your interest, an expression telling of a life of light and ease. Seonwoo stares back at you with a smile before politely waving. “It’s good seeing you! Been a minute.”
You find yourself returning a gesture, relaxing your arms. “It has. Mom wanted to send things over. Again.”
“Of course. Come in.”
You leave the box of goods in their fridge, feeling the presence of the younger Jeon follow behind you like a benevolent puppy. “Did you get in yesterday?”
“This morning. Early flight.”
You grin. “Singapore doing you good, I see.”
“Nothing like home though.”
You softly chuckle, “Yeah, there isn’t.”
Your conversation is cut short with another family coming down the stairs, one that looks ready to leave. They meet your eyes in amusement and his steps begin to falter in turn. “I saw you yesterday.”
“Don’t you dare make a joke about me missing you. It wasn’t funny any of the first five times.”
He’s smug as expected, entertained by the fact you’ve kept count. “I won’t, but it won’t make it any less true.”
You scoff. “Live in reality for once in your life, Wonwoo.”
“I will when you do.” He comes to the kitchen—briefly passing by you to do so and grazing your forearm—to fill a glass of water and downs it, his signature jacket thrown over his shoulders. He let out a refreshed sigh in your direction and put it away as soon as he finished. “I’m leaving now. When you change your mind about missing me, I’ll be at Gina’s party. Might actually find some fun there while you’re at it.”
The door closes behind him dramatically and your attention is right back on Seonwoo, the successful bystander. “Your brother is annoying.”
The young man smiles, finding the nostalgia in that small event. “Reminds me of the good old times.”
“Well, I should get going.”
“You’re going to the party too?”
You shake your head. “Not the slightest bit interested. Just trying to keep myself busy while I’m still in town.”
“Plan on leaving already? You just got here.”
“I can’t live on my parents forever. Need to make a living of my own you know.”
He softly laughs, a warm light enveloping his presence. He always seems to emit pure joy. Like there was nothing that could ruin this kid's day. “Nice to see you haven’t changed. Still self-reliant.”
You can’t help but smile back, “… Wouldn't be me if I wasn’t. I'll see you later, kid.”
You walk back home and go on with the rest of your afternoon by carrying on the duties of a college graduate with no job: endless job hunting. You let yourself go on that way for an hour, already bored by rereading your applicant details and sending in copies and copies of cover letters and documents. Your eyes have started to see stars shooting from either corner, warning signs of mental fatigue.
Shaking the numbing feeling, you shut off your laptop and notice the time on the clock. In the back of your mind, you’re remembering that party Wonwoo ended up going to. These parties weren’t by any means rare, but it had been some time since you let yourself give into environments as such. You said you wouldn't go but in dire situations of weary silences, perhaps it would hurt to take a second in a new subsubspace. Something to take off the edge of the weight of your undetermined future.
Against your initial better judgment, you force yourself out of that house to enter that very party you said you wouldn't go to. So like Gina to make an event over a normal thing like this. You don’t put much thought into what you wear and leave the house and when you arrive late as you were, you are unsurprised by the huge turnout. Five seconds in, you’re already regretting the 10 bucks you paid via UBER to get there.
The house was so Gina. As expected of one of the daughters of the wealthiest families in town. As you enter, all you hear is music, loud and rambunctious voices and laughter, and shouts of barely adults chugging whatever concoction in those house party solo cups. It all quickly reminds you of college and high school, times in your life you were relieved to know were over.
Why did you decide to come again if you knew this was going to happen?
You try ignoring the voices that seem to recognize you, evading and walking through the place for a potential drink to buzz you out of self-consciousness. If you were going to be in a place like this, a drink was warranted by all means.
“Wonwoo, come on!”
Gina’s voice, easily distinguishable, resonates from the other end of the room and sees how her presence bounces like a kite in the wind. You look in the direction of her gaze to find the person she seeks, ultimately having Wonwoo being dragged by the wrist, his hair sweeping the swift breeze of her force.  You were a bit relieved to see him, someone who is more similar to you in ways you’d never willingly admit.
You feel the urge to approach, curious how he’ll handle this one, but intentions all change of a brisk move, changing setting immediately. One second Gina looks up at him with doe eyes that speak longing and ache, another second her arms are looped around his neck and she pulls his lips against hers, massaging against them naturally as if rehearsed. Your feet stop, watching the unsightly scene like it’s a car crash as if in slow motion, taking you only a second to realize he hasn't yet let go.
Slowly then quickly, your chest pulls up like a marionette doll before it drops in a lump, repeating until the sound of your heart is rapidly pounding into your skull. You don’t understand it, but you don’t want to either. Swiftly, you duck back and turn your head in the other direction, having seen enough.
Then panic ensues.
People are harder to brush through than you realize. Colliding each one was like speed bumps in your way of a smooth departure. You were bound to have one person take a drunken offense to your rash movement and there it was: a subtle push that led to a spilled drink that stains the shirt of a man big enough to frighten children if he approached.
“Watch the fuckkk ya goin’!”
You don’t bother with the importance of apologizing or even acknowledging him. You realize it too late when he pulls at your collar back towards him, strangling you at the throat.
“S…stupid bitch can’t even see…fucking ruin my—hic—deink”
Your hands come around his grip, attempting to pry him off. “L-let me go. The fuck?”
“The fuck you say to me piece of shi—ah!”
He finally releases you when Wonwoo appears from behind him, tossing him out like an old ragdoll with no weight. The drunkard comes crashing down to the hardwood floor and before he realizes the cause of it, said cause whisks you away with his gril looping around your wrist.
“You’re going home right the fuck now,” Wonwoo grumbles, dragging you out of other guests' way and right out of the door, once again leading you to his motorcycle. “Bike now.”
“Wonwoo, what the fuck—“
“You aren’t an idiot. You knew what was gonna happen if I hadn’t stepped in. Now get on before fee fi fo fum finds out we left.”
“I’m not getting on that death trap again!”
His glare pierces right through you. “I know you'd rather be at home than here. Especially with the probability of becoming a statistic. Get on.”
He is right for the most part and even you’re seeing through your nonsensical defiance. Reluctantly, you follow his lead, knowing he’s left you with no other choice. You endure another near death experience, this time clutching on to him less resistantly unlike last time all the way back home. It is when you’re at the foot of your door you only realize the keys that were supposed to be in your pocket but left on the kitchen counter instead.
“Shit.”
Wonwoo quickly puts the pieces together. “No key?”
You shake your head, embarrassed slightly over your feeble appearance. “No, and mom won’t be back until the morning so I’m screwed.”
“Alright. You’re sleeping over.”
You scoff looking back at him, wondering whether he’s in the right state of mind to make that call. “You’re kidding.”
“Not unless you’re okay slumbering at the footstep of your door.”
Another choice made of your hands. You discouragingly follow after him as he unlocks the door across the street. Seonwoo was evidently still home with his loafers by the foot of the door but dead asleep upstairs in bed. 
“You take my bed. I’ll take the couch,” he offers nodding in the direction of the living room.
“No thanks, I’ll take the couch.”
He groans, giving that irritated look. “Don’t be difficult and just sleep in the damn bed.”
You huff, strutting over towards the couch. “Sleep in your own damn bed, Jeon. Stop treating me like you’re my babysitter.”
He follows after you, crossing his arms like an annoyed mother, “You’re really gonna be like this?”
“I’m not being like anything.”
“You know what?” He grabs the throw pillow off the couch, “Fine. We’ll share the couch.”
“Excuse me?” Your eyes narrow back at him.
The smug smile on his face says it all, knowing there was no rebuttal to follow. “Neither of us will take the bed, we’ll both will take the couch.”
Before you can argue, he ascends the stairs for more bedding and comes back to toss you a blanket and pillow. He keeps one of each for himself, sprawling on the other end of the massive couch, gesturing you to do the exact same. Cautiously, you mirrored his image, crawling under your borrowed blanket. Despite your feet not touching, you couldn’t help but feel suffocated by the close proximity, forcing you to crunch up your legs and bring your knees close to your chest. 
Wonwoo’s eyes drop in place, nuzzling into his thick blanket. “Good night.”
“Whatever.”
He softly scoffs with a smile, basking in the silence. Meanwhile, there was you, wondering why you listened to his instructions so willingly. You sigh, your eyes glued to the ceiling counting every bump and curve of its textured surface. 
“This is stupid it’s literally 10 pm”
“Sounds like bedtime.”
You peek back at him, his eyes still closed. “You did not go to a party to plan on sleeping at 10 pm.”
“You don’t know what my plans are. Sleep now.”
“I could’ve handled it, you know,” you argue.
“I bet you could’ve,” he responds dryly. “Wasn’t gonna take that risk though.”
“I’m serious…you didn’t have to, especially since…”
“What?” 
“You know,” you take a moment to form the words, “whatever that was with Gina.”
You hear him scoff, shifting on his side of the couch. “Nothing was happening with Gina.”
You let out a parched laugh, in disbelief of the words leaving his lips. “Wow, that lie comes so easy, does it?”
“Believe what you want. It’s not what you think anyway.”
“You’re so…obnoxious,” you sputter.
“Thank you.”
“So when did that happen? You and Gina?”
He huffs hot air out of his nose.“There’s no me and Gina. I don’t know what you saw, but…it’s nothing.”
“You were kissing.”
“You could call it that.”
“For a while,” You add.
“Just enough for her to find closure.”
“And did she?”
“Saved your ass before I could find out.”
You have no response to that and you let the silence take over for a few minutes. After those few minutes, Wonwoo was the one to break the peace.
“You asleep yet.”
“No, it’s not even 11,” you answer exasperatedly. 
“Well, I'm tired.”
“Go to sleep then.”
“You should sleep before I do.”
“Why?”
He shrugs, “I'm supposed to take care of you. It’s what your mom would want.”
“Why? I'm a grown adult.”
“I don’t think an explanation is needed.”
“Ever heard of personal space?”
“Make some smart decisions and I’ll consider it.”
“You’re such a dick,” you grunt, turning away from view.
“I’m only trying to protect you.”
This shit again. You pushed yourself up from the couch to sit up, fuming in his direction. “Because your mom asked. Okay, I get it, but you’re not obligated to anymore because I’m your mom's friend’s kid. Just stop.”
“That’s not why–”
“Stop lying–”
“I’m not fucking lying,” he says matching your stance. His gaze meets yours in anguish, urging you to drop it. 
You scoff, lying back down in a sleeping position with your back turned towards him. “Whatever.”
“...Despite popular belief, I’m actually concerned about you sometimes.”
“I guess…I don't entirely find that hard to believe.”
“Thank you. It’s not like I hate you.”
“Sure,” you answer, voice basted in sarcasm.
“I don’t.” You hear his body shift back down on the couch, finding comfort between the leather cushions.
“Then why are you such a dick.”
He sighs. “Sorry.”
“That’s all you have to say?”
“...Sorry.”
You ponder to yourself, wanting to turn back the clock to the earlier conversation for unknown reasons. You turn your body, seeing how his body mimics your body seconds ago, back turned, eyes closed, and facing the couch. “So if not Gina–”
“There’s no one,” he cuts off, “I mean, I'm not seeing anyone.”
It reassures you. Not that it should’ve. “Okay. I believe you.”
“Okay.”
You’re unsure when you drifted off, you only remember it being mid-conversation that your vision started to blur, followed by darkness and soon the light of the following morning. You wake up in Wonwoo’s house unexpectedly alone, quiet enough to hear the sound of a pin dropping. You enter the kitchen, parched, and you find a plate of food. You approach cautiously, catching a glimpse of the note, immediately catching on to why it was so damn empty. 
Went to get stuff done. Keep yourself entertained for a bit. - Wonwoo and Seonwoo
With an impish grin, you quickly run your fork over and over into the balanced meal and nourish your body, but slow down as your subconscious reminds you of last night's events. It wanders to your impulse to attend a party out of sheer boredom, stumbling upon an unexpected scene, before immediately trying to escape it before you are caught. The kiss becomes a scene stuck on replay, playing the image like a broken record. You did not black out, though you wish you had, considering your uncalled-for badgering of Wonwoo’s relationship status you shouldn’t have cared less about. Yet do.
You try bruising it off if you can help it, quick to leave, and relieved to find your mom home to let you in. Your day begins a new, and with a new day, she already has stuff for you to do. You’d be annoyed if you weren’t so grateful to be let back in home, remembering to grab your keys this time as you left the house again following her request for grocery shopping. 
You drink in the town for the first time since being back, questioning yourself why you hadn’t done it earlier. The block isn’t that different since you left, perhaps more greenery and flowers, but otherwise everything looked the same. Same old town, same old stores, the only thing difference was the people. Fine lines got deeper, toddlers now taller, and you now a stranger. Even the grocery store has changed managers, one adolescent bag boy at a time.
Even long finished with grocery shopping, you’re still wandering the center of town, circling in steps of the alternating tiles of the ground. For a moment, you free yourself from your thoughts, your worries, your ambitions, and live in the moment. It had been so long since you felt like this. You expected the feeling to emerge in college but that had been just another thing on your plate and suddenly you’re reminded of Wonwoo. Knowing him, he’d like this sight of you, proud to see you experience another emotion for a change.
Then your eyes flit back to the scene several meters from you. He reappears in your vision just as he has in your thoughts, only now Gina embracing him, squeezing the life out of him just as the life is squeezed out of your chest. He meets your eyes, his pupils expanding, before lightly pushing the poor girl off of him, but not in enough time to stop you from trying to escape again.
“Hey!”
You ignore him, letting your feet take you where it guides you. You’re blind to the incoming obstacles, brushing past pedestrians, shoulder everybody you meet, and you barely register the busy road before your feet make an unexpected halt. You hear the blaring honks until you’re pulled out, face crashing into their shoulder, arms coming around your in strong enclosure.
“Are you stupid? Why are you running into oncoming traffic?”
You shove him off, heart beating louder in your chest than any bike ride he’s taken you on has, and you’re seething in an emotion that you never expected to be in. Never in this lifetime at least. “Wonwoo just stop. Please.”
“I’m not doing anything. I don’t get why you’re trying to push me away.”
“I’m just sick of this. Of you. I can’t do this.”
“Why? Why? What do you think this is?”
“Just, leave me alone, Wonwoo.”
He sees you trying to walk out on him again and he doesn’t let you. Taking you by your arm, he pulls you towards him, leaving only the width of your forearm as his gaze pierces right through you, brimming with a mix of concern and utter anger. Frustration. Impatience.
If there was one thing about Wonwoo, he may have looked like he came from an anger management class, but he did manage it well. When he didn’t, your feet would feel glued to the concrete, frozen in the fire of his eyes, for once fearing what the man had to say.
“You know what? No. I’m not letting you do this? I don’t understand what’s going on or why you hate me so much–”
“God,” you groan, “it would be so easy if I just hated you.”
“Then what is it? You don’t hate me. You don’t like me. What? I’m wracking my brain trying to understand you–”
You don’t let him finish. You aren't sure what was in the breakfast you had today but you find yourself pulling him by the collar to meet his lips only to push him away in that instant, barely a whisper of his presence in your mouth. You clamp your hand over your mouth before finally treading away shocked by your actions, scurrying away.
He doesn’t follow you and you don’t blame him. You retrieve your once-abandoned groceries from the intersection to then find your way home. Rain is close to follow, drenching from head to toe. As if things couldn’t get any worse.
When you get home, you’re alone once again. The door shuts with a clang and you’re left in your self wallow, regret burning the back of your throat. Your back slid against the wood, a deep exhale expelling from your lungs. “So that’s what’s wrong with me.”
Like clockwork, you feel a knock erupt from the same door. Conceding to whatever was on the other side, you brush yourself up from the ground and turn the knob, only to be taken aback. Wonwoo, wet like made from glass with his locks swept over his head, stands before you panting. On either hand is a bundle of flowers barely protected in the cellophane it came with when he bought them and his cell phone he’s death gripping in his hand, no doubt damaged by the rain.
You blink back at him, lips parting in confusion. “Wonwoo…You’re wet.”
“Likewise.” He invites himself in and sets the flowers on a table nearby, not even for a second letting his gaze stray from yours. “You left me hanging there. Kiss a guy and walk away like he means nothing?”
You shake your head in disbelief, processing this, him. “Why are you here…with flowers?”
“I really do have to spell out everything for you, don’t I?” he responds smiling.
The squelch of his shoes trod in your direction, the invisible string connecting you two shortening. Preventing your evasion, you feel the palm of his hand against your back and your lips crash in a lingering reunion. The squeak of his slippery leather doesn't make it past your ears, distracted by the heat of his lips in the clash of the coolness of his rain-stained skin. 
Your hand crawls up his neck to press him closer, feeling the strength of his arms wrap around you tighter before shutting the front door effortlessly with his foot. He lets you pin him against the door, lips tight bound to yours, and relief settles in his stomach as you show no sign of pulling away. He finds himself whispering a word of gratitude in every language, smiling against your lips. “No more excuses…I’m not letting anyone get in the way. Not even you.”
You finally break out in a smile, brushing it against his lips before reclaiming them, not minding the wet leather.
You spend the rest of the day in each other’s company. You put away the groceries before the room temperature worked against their favor and got yourselves changed out of your rain-dampened clothes, throwing them in the dryer. Even if he lived right next door, you allow him to wear your most oversized shirt after he insisted he should, watching the cotton fabric cling to his broad shoulders with the hem just hitting him at his hip bone.
Man, he’s a large man.
“Kinda snug.”
You scoff, crossing your arms in an attempt to hold yourself back. “You can get clothes next door. You’re just a few steps away.”
He grins, approaching you. “It’s raining…I could get sick.” His long arms land on either of your shoulders, reminding you of that cat that knew too much in a childhood cartoon. “You don’t want me sick…”
“You wouldn’t get sick taking two long strides to your house, Jeon,” you respond, rolling your eyes, unable to meet his.
“But you’d take care of me if I was, right?” 
You roll your eyes, accepting his advances of a hug and feeling his chin fit in the crook of your neck. “Kiss a guy two times too many and he follows you around like a stray cat.”
He grins. “You like it. Don’t act like you don’t. You probably even like my bike and you’re not telling me.”
“Okay well, no. Those are two separate matters.”
His arms wrap around you tighter before reuniting your lips, such tenderness and sweetness in his gaze as he thumbs over the curve of your cheek. “You don’t deny that other thing.”
“I thought was already point blank. You know, when I didn’t push you away, kicking and screaming.”
“Yeah, but,” he shrugs, his cheekbones only getting higher. “Hard to come by something nice from you. I want to hear it.”
You sigh, giving in. “Fine.”
Your head fit between the divide of his chest, hearing a quickened pulse underneath it. You close your eyes as your hand strokes against his back. “I have… feelings for you. Maybe for once good feelings. Just don’t get cocky about it.”
Overwashed with calm joy, he takes you tighter, inhaling the soap in your hair. “Too late.”
2K notes · View notes
miya-rin · 1 year ago
Text
imagine being the miya twins older sister who has had suna rintarou fully enamoured with your existence since he first met you at 15 years old.
he has tried to make many moves on you over the years to no avail; sneakily trying to place his arms around your shoulder before one of your brothers notice and throw the nearest object they can grab his way. not letting you carry anything while hes around, claiming how “youll never have to lift a finger again” if you give him a chance. hell, even dropping down to the floor to tie your shoelaces the second he realises the laces have come loose, taking his time to stand back up afterwards as he slowly rakes his eyes over your figure so he can fully take in every inch of you. every attempt of his to make you swoon for him is met with “sorry sweetheart, still not into minors” and a small ruffle of his hair which gives him a dopey smile. you would think he would start to back off eventually but to your dismay every rejection you have handed to him has just made his desire for you grow stronger - he takes your words as “try again when youre 18”
which is exactly what he does. on his 18th birthday his friends decide to throw him a massive party - being the twins chaperone you had to come along and when suna set his eyes on you, you knew there was no chance of you escaping his antics. you catch him glancing at you multiple times throughout the night before he gets pulled away by one of his guests, a disappointed look in his eyes every time he had to look away from you.
after a couple of hours you decide to step outside onto the balcony to catch some fresh air seeing as there was no sign of the party dying down anytime soon. you’re outside for maybe 5 minutes when you hear the door slide open, you already know who its going to be seeing as he has been trying to catch you alone all night, you turn around to finally face the boy and he looks as ecstatic as ever.
“happy birthday suna.” you swear you can see his soul leave his body the second those words leave your mouth, its not the first time youve said it to him tonight - youre not that cruel as to not wish the poor boy a happy birthday on his special day - but everything that comes out of your mouth looks like it sends him to heaven and back.
“thankyou yn, i appreciate you being here, but then again, i know you cant spend more that a week away from me because youre just so obsessed with me.”
“wow, am i that easy to read?” you chuckle along with him, noticing the way his gaze doesnt stray away from your face while you face forward, “so, how does it feel finally being legal?”
“incredible, it means you can finally give me a chance.” he doesnt miss the way you sigh at his words.
“suna we’v-“
“i know that we’ve been over this, but i don’t really think you mean it,” this gains an eye roll from you, “plus, my one wish when i blew out my candles was that you would give me a kiss.”
“really? well i guess your going to have to go without this year.”
“it was my birthday wish, youre not gonna deny me that are you?”
“yknow if you tell your wish to someone it doesnt come true right?”
“yn…please,” his voice is barely above a whisper, he sounds desperate, “i have been waiting for three years, all i ask for is one kiss, just one.”
“i think youre forgetting that im 22 and you are freshly 18.”
“im still 18 though.”
“hm… you make a good point,” you see the way he perks up slightly at your evaluation, a hopeful look becoming more prominent in his eyes, “one kiss. let it be my official gift for the birthday boy.” you might have well as told him he had just one the lottery, anyone who walked past the sliding door would think you had due to the way his smile was so wide.
“thankyou” is all he can muster up before he is snaking his hand up your body and with a hand tangled up in your hair he leans down until his lips touch yours, you can feel the shit eating grin spread across his face as he gently moves his lips in sync with yours, pulling away slightly to whisper “best birthday ever” before leaning back in <3
7K notes · View notes