#it feels like a point of no return and i think thy know it to an extent

[qoldenskies]

the next chapter is gonna be an interesting one to write because the excitement to finally give the catharsis of revenge is contrasted with the knowledge that this is not a healthy decision the brothers are making. like at all. like you can argue that it IS necessary because donnie did piss off more than one witch and they have no way of knowing who the FIRST guy was, so someone could just summon kitsune again so she needs to be taken care of to cut out the problem at the root

but also it is just not a healthy thing. that they are doing. but i guess that's one way to put their trauma front and center now that things are looking up for donnie, because i do think everything that happened has desensitized them to violence in a kind of unsafe way. what they did to donnie is gonna fuck them up for good but i think going after kitsune, fully in their right minds, with the intent to kill is going to mark them irrevocably. i mean.......slay though

[universaln0b0dy]

Scales (Malleus x reader)

Summary: Malleus does something so small and so insignificant you believe you shouldn't be as sad as you are. Sadly back in your hometown that small gesture had a gigantic meaning.

Note: you know all of these "reader accidentally courts them" type of fics? Yeah it's this, just reversed. Malleus accidentally courts the poor reader.

Malleus had his tail out, the reason wasn't important. You had been hanging around the fae for quite a while and even after finding out he was the feared Malleus Draconia everyone told you about, that didn't take a toll on your feelings for him. No, they significantly went overboard and now you had a crush. Yay.

"Oh! Malleus, there is a scale on the floor." You weren't sure if it was normal for a dragon fae to loose a scale once in a while, but you wanted to point it out nonetheless. Carefully you put it back into his hand, only to get fixated by it.

Back in your world there was a story about a knight who wanted to marry a princess, but the king didn't want them to marry, so he ordered the knight to steal one scale from the dragon without killing him. The king assumed the knight would die during this mission, but he didn't and so the prince got to marry the princess...

"Child of man? If thy like my scale so much, I could just gift it to you." These words catapulted you out of your thoughts and for a second you blue screen. Didn't Malleus know what he was asking? That he was swearing he would love you until he dies?

The hope that had glimmers in your heart starts to dim as you realise that only the young people in your hometown used the dragon scale symbolism as a proposal. You remembered the times when during valentine's day everyone was making small scale shaped charms to give to their lover, after all the story claimed that the princess tripped over both her feet as she saw her knight with the gift and exclaimed she would love him forever.

To think that cheesy love tale would become such a giant part of your country's tradition.

You look towards the floor mildly disappointed. "Its fine, Mal." You mutter trying not to be too sad about the fact that the fae prince didn't ask you out. Oh, silly heart please stop beating so fast, you think to yourself, gazing into Malleus eyes, who looks kinda disappointed.

"Is my scale that unsightly to you that you don't want it as a gift?" He looked so sad, so you felt bad for chuckling. "No, I would love to take it, it just has a different meaning to me." You look to the side, your cheeks going red.

"Gifting someone a "dragon scale" means "I want to stay with you forever" where I am from." You expect Malleus to retract his hand that still holds the scale towards you, but he doesn't only softly humming.

"I know that, child of man. Lilia told me about that costum after you told him."

You look at Malleus in disbelief before moving your hand closer to the scale in his hand, before taking it. "Malleus? Is it alright if I tell you my answer for this tomorrow? I kinda need to prepare something."

Malleus looks at you suprised and kinda baffled, simply because you don't want him to have to go home empty handed you give him a kiss on the cheek with a soft smile, returning to Ramshackle.

"Hmm, a yes was always said with something with the same colour as my eyes." Carefully you created two necklaces out of everything you could find, now it kinda looked like a friendship token that you could connect only that Malleus would have his decorated with a gem/stone in the colour of your eyes and you would carry the scale.

"Hmm, I wish it was already tomorrow so I could give this to him." You mutter, before drifting to sleep, the scale necklace resting around your neck.

[verecunda]

I personally see that "torture" conversation again as gaslighting from Annatars side, to be honest. Because (I double checked again to make sure i am not mistaken) "Never in Tolkien's lore does Morgoth torture Sauron. Some moments could imply such an act, such as in The Silmarillion where it is mentioned that Morgoth would have, if victorious, destroyed even the beings that followed him" - So to me it has that even ... Crueler twist of Annatar just trying to gaslight Celebrimbor again. Maybe that is just me though! And maybe in the series Morgoth really did unimaginable to Mairon. WHO KNOWS

Hi, Anon! This got long-winded, so bear with me here. XD

That is certainly a viable reading of the scene, and I definitely think we should never take Sauron at his word because, well, he’s Sauron. But honestly, I think it’s much more interesting, much more horrifying, if he is being honest here.

First, to get the lore stuff out of the way: agreed, nowhere in the books are we told Morgoth ever tortured him. But at the same time, we’re never told he didn’t. Sauron was obviously his most valuable and trusted servant, but he still was that - a servant, an underling, subject to his master’s caprices. And we don’t have any scenes of them interacting directly that allow us to gauge their relationship; we just have a handful of references that can be extrapolated in multiple ways. (For full disclosure: I’m an enthusiastic Angbang shipper, and I tend to view their relationship as more or less positive, one of the only good things they have going for them, but I try to keep an open mind on what canon does/doesn’t tell me.)

Most notably, take the scene where Sauron is defeated by Lúthien and Huan. She tells him she’ll send his spirit back to Angband : “There everlastingly thy naked self shall endure the torment of his scorn, pierced by his eyes.” Whereupon Sauron flees, and we hear nothing more of him till after the War of Wrath. We don’t know anything that he does in the meantime; we don’t even know if he returns to Morgoth’s service (the Lay of Leithian does suggest it, but the published Silmarillion gives us nothing either way). Whether or not Morgoth would actually punish him for his failure is probably beside the point: the point is that Sauron clearly believes punishment is a likely outcome. There are other ways you could parse this bit (and I do have Feelings about it!!) but the most obvious reading is that it’s terror of his master’s likely response that sends Sauron into hiding. So overall, it’s an ambiguous scenario, but there is certainly room to interpret a darker take on their relationship, and even allowing for deliberate ambiguity, it does seem to me that the show creators have chosen to explore that darker take.

To return to this particular scene, I don’t think he’s trying to deceive Celebrimbor any more - now that his true identity is revealed, outright deception is no longer going to work, because why would Celebrimbor believe anything else he says? Better to reel him back in with the truth. In that scene, I think Sauron is actually trying to make him understand his grand vision for the “healing” of Middle-earth. We already know he believes that's what he's doing. I don’t think he views Celebrimbor as an equal, no way, but I think he does consider that Celebrimbor’s ambitions chime with his own.

But crucially, his failure here is that in baring his soul and talking about the genuine suffering he’s gone through, he inadvertently reveals just how warped and ultimately irredeemable his own mindset has become. We actually saw this first with Galadriel at the end of s1: Sauron reveals his relief at Morgoth’s defeat, his feeling that a “great, clenched fist” had been released from about his neck - yet just a couple of minutes after that, he repels her because he admits that he sees saving Middle-earth and ruling it as the same thing.

It’s the same in the tower scene. Revealing his torture by Morgoth does engage Celebrimbor’s sympathy, but he loses it almost at once when he starts talking about his pain being a triumph of his own willpower, then especially when he breaks out all the textbook abuser lines about how Celebrimbor has “forced” him to hurt and deceive him. I don't think he would have said all that if he was just lying. All that self-justification strikes me as the response of someone who has suffered, but has never found a healthy way to process any of it, and who has ultimately gone on to continue the cycle of abuse. And when Celebrimbor demolishes all these self-justifications - “You can deceive even yourself” - I think Sauron's expression there speaks volumes. That’s the look of a Maia who has just been hit where it hurts, because rather than being taken in, Celebrimbor has just confronted him with exactly how damaged and fucked up he really is.

[fizzy0bloom]

s2ep9 sucks ass here's me tring to fix it :

just changing points i don't feel like doing a script :

1- blitzo doesn't apologies to random people like martha just peole who he knew befre like moxxie, millie, octavia and some of his exes

2- verosika doesn't make the party she was invited like stolas think of it like one of those big influential celebrity and political demons thing

3- now this really depends on how you see stolas but he either realize his doings or he's still the toxic villain he is

4-verosika meets him and talk about blitz and she confess how weird she acted before and how she moved on (i don't think it's uncommon for exes to meet randomly and fight i can't emphasize how her and blitz were toxic in this relationship and not just make her this obsessive ex they made her to be)

5-blitz might have done wrong to some of his exes but not to the degree of stolas

6-blitz crashes this part to finally tell stolas everything he has done to him and not apologizing this ends very bad as you can imagine

7-blitz and verosika have a heart to heart giving us how they treated each other and finally clean things

they might forgive and forget or not but anything is better then they way thy made him and fizz talk again

8- verosika looks at stolas and since she doesnt know him well and with the way blitz reacted she tells blitzo to work on himself after all this and focus on his family and to stop this dating cycle for all good

9- again idk what version of stolas you like but he ends up return home and think about everything

+ here's a drawing i made of them listing to stolas mental gymnastics

yeah i redesigned blitz here i hate how he looks

sorry for the spelling mistakes btw

[eyecan02]

Analysis: Why Alastor is Randy and Why I'm Not Being Completely Delulu About It

While we may not know how frequently/infrequently Alastor would sleep with someone, one thing we do know is that apparently (according to Viv's former coworker Faustisse) Alastor did not die a virgin.

So if he's not a virgin, that means he occasionally did have sex and that it's been 7 years since he's last been intimate with someone. Let's just say for example that Alastor had a routine of doing it once or twice with a woman every 3 months or so.

That would mean a routine he was used to was suddenly disrupted for 7 years so I think the story is beginning with Alastor in a period of wanting- that rare urge someone like him would get to have sex on his terms.

He was someone's prisoner for 7 years , and continues to be someone's slave even with his leash "loosened". He likely didn't get to talk/interact with a lot of people wherever he was. As he told Charlie in the first episode,"It's been some time since..." and does a little walking gesture with his claws.

Almost as if he's trying to say that he's sort of trying to "find his land legs again" while he reacclimates to his old home and interacting with people once more.

In the first episode, right off the bat we see see Alastor reacting to something sex related. He shadow summoned himself to Angel's side before Angel even mentioned Alastor when he suggested a porn as a commercial.

Alastor's reaction was replying with, "Ha! Never going to happen!" A lot of people assume this means Alastor is sex repulsed, but he's literally only known Angel a week at this point so I feel like it's the way most people would react to someone speaking so boldly to them.

People focus entirely too much on that line and don't pay attention to one very important detail of that scene. The shadow summoning part. It's interesting the way Alastor instantly teleports to Angel's side.

Why? Can he read minds? Does he automatically know when someone is thinking of having sex with him? Could it be maybe that he also has sex on the brain? Obviously not with Angel but just in general.

Another thing I haven't really seen a lot of people talk about is this one line from episode 2. After Sir Pentious returns a piece of Alastor's coat, Alastor says, "Oh, not many have been able to take even this much off of me."

Out of all the ways he could've phrased it, he chose to say it in a way that made the line sound on the verge of sexual. To me, it sounds like an Easter egg about Alastor's sexuality. As if they're trying to say that just because Al doesn't have many knotches on his bed post...it doesn't mean that there aren't any knotches.

In episode 3, we're shown that Alastor has two chairs in front of his fireplace- alluding that he does want company/is expecting a guest in his room at some point. Zestial's comment in this episode is interesting.

"Some had suggested that you'd fallen to...holy arms." The way it could also mean Alastor has FALLEN for someone "holy"/literally part angel because of her dad.

Then there's Zestial's other line, "There too have been rumors of thy involvement with the princess and her recent flight of fancy." Alastor's eyes are dilated at the mention of Charlie.

Alastor only appears in a flashback in episode 4, but I feel like this episode not only alludes/reflects what he's up to, it also serves to demonstrate Val as a direct foil for Alastor. We have to remember that Val only owns Angel half the time so when Angel is not in the studio, Angel gets to rebel and choose his own partners. Unlike Alastor who seemingly did not have freedom for 7 years.

I feel like Alastor is both fascinated and envious of Angel for having a certain degree of freedom so I feel like he tries to take a page out of Angel's book, and simply tries to "live" once in a while. Going back to my comment about believing episode 4 may subtly reflect what's going on whenever Alastor is absent.

I suspect that after an overlord meeting, he tries to go back to "familiar times" like drinking, dancing and occasionally sleeping with someone. I have an inkling that I'm not far off the mark because in episode 5, Alastor appears like he had a late morning/afternoon almost like if maybe he's coming up from a hangover/late night.

Like he just seemed so unaware that Luci was coming over the way he glares at the "Wellcum Daddy" banner like "Why wasn't I informed?" That's how out of it he was.

With Alastor being frustrated in ways more than one, especially due to his lack of freedom, it makes it worse when the most powerful being walks into Alastor's territory and immediately starts hugging Charlie in front of him.

The first time in the series we actually see Alastor touch Charlie (not including the pilot), he touches her shoulder, back and chin almost as if he's trying to "wipe off Luci's touch and scent" to replace it with his own. His claws are on her boob too when he first places his hand on her shouder.

Charlie's reaction to Alastor's hand on her shoulder is telling- it means that Alastor touching her up until that point was not a common everyday occurrence so I'm thinking that Alastor himself did not realize how much he liked Charlie until he started giving her compliments in front of her dad.

It started off as him trying to stake claim over Charlie/piss off Luci but every time he looked at Charlie as he praised her, his eyes were soft and full of sincerity. I think Alastor finally touching her onscreen opened the floodgates of his attraction to Charlie- literally can't stop touching her for the rest of the episode.

Then comes the scene where Alastor defends the hotel/devours the loan sharks, he says, "Oh, how I missed getting to let off steam!" While, yes, he misses the unbridled violence and chaos he used to cause, "letting off steam" does in some cases mean to let off frustration in a sexual way. For a character who is apparently not meant to be overtly sexual, he sure has quite a few innuendos in this first season.

In episode 7, Alastor is acting so comfortable on Charlie's bed. Why? Again, he's supposedly meant to be the least sexual character in the series. And yet he's rolling around on Charlie's bed (where she sleeps with Vaggie) like he owns it.

Notice he's even laying on Vaggie's side (trying to mark his scent to mask Vaggie's) and making "come and get it" poses on her bed. He only gets out of Charlie's bed/starts acting more seriously when she says, "I don't understand how you can enjoy everyone's suffering so much."

"Just because you see a smile, don't think you understand what's going on underneath." Alastor doesn't want Charlie to simply see him as a 2D villain. He actually cares what she thinks about him, and that's why he reveals that his smile is a power move that Charlie should use.

He both cares about her and desires her physically. Constantly grabbing Charlie's shoulders, touching her hair, pressing his face against hers. He's obsessed with her, and physically needs to be near her. That's probably why he didn't further try to take advantage of the situation.

At this point, Charlie was pretty much broken up with Vaggie so Alastor could've taken advantage of her vulnerability and given into his physical desires for her. The problem is as I mentioned, he cares about her and also serves a master so sleeping with Charlie would complicate matters.

If he ever wants to be free to desire or get what he wants in general, he'll need that deal with Charlie. Just the way Alastor looks at his hand after the deal is sealed between them(you can even see he briefly held Charlie's hand tighter for an instant before letting go), you can see how content he is almost as if he's half way to feeling the kind of satisfaction he wants.

The whole "good girl" scene seems to have subtext, especially because of Charlie's reaction to Alastor calling her a good girl and petting her. Why was she so shy all of a sudden? Alastor had just finished extorting a very vague deal from Charlie, and the aftermath is her being shy?

I have this theory that Charlie and Al didn't just make a deal- their minds melded together. This is shown when Charlie explained to Vaggie that angels can be killed, but when did Alastor tell her this? The two of them never once spoke during the entire making of the contract, which means Alastor fed Charlie the information telepathically. But did Charlie hear other kinds of thoughts from Alastor? Anything that would've had her reacting shyly to him only moments later? I'm betting on yes, yes she did.

Later in episode 7, we see Alastor link arms with Charlie and wearing a very serious expression when a male cannibal tries to greet them. Alastor did not so much as bat an eye at the "She's much too young for you" comment and just continues staring evenly at Charlie.

I love the look he gives her when he leans on Charlie's chair and says. "We're here on business of another kind." They look like a Queen with her advisor in this scene.

"She's filled with potential that I could guide." It's not just a physical desire he has for her or any order he's following from his master/manipulation. He wants her to reach her full potential with him at her side.

In episode 8, Alastor says this line. "You lack discipline, control and worst of all...you're sloppy." It's almost as if he's describing himself because these words seem like a foreshadowing for his defeat and also like a hint toward his sexuality- as in he doesn't want to be controlled by any desires he might have.

It's a paradox because while Alastor may not want to be ruled by love or desire, he's fascinated by it. This is noted during the "the last stand before the battle" party scene. "It's been a thrilling ride watching these wayward souls find connection." He doesn't seem to realize it but he's a romantic at heart, enjoying the development between Huskerdust and CherriSnake.

"One could almost get accustomed," he says as he stares directly at Charlie in a dreamy sort of way. This is probably one of the most sincere Alastor scenes we've seen so far.

During Alastor's finale song, he sings, "I'm hungry for freedom like never before." Like never before because he cares for and desires Charlie. This changes the game entirely and gives Alastor a stronger resolve to free himself.

He will still betray her and the Hazbin gang at some point. This is inevitable but love and lust complicate things for sure so it won't be as straightforward as Alastor laughing evilly while twirling his proverbial mustache. We'll be in for quite the ride that's for sure.

I love that that they hardly interacted in the season finale ep, and yet the animators were kind enough to feed us with the hug scene. For someone who hates touch, Alastor didn't seem to mind Charlie hugging him at all. I feel like Charie is his comfort person, and we'll get to see more of Al's obsessive love and lust for Charlie in season 2.

[latterdaydaisy]

I don’t have the greatest testimony of the prophet as I should, not for any particular reason I just kind of forget he’s there.

But something I’ve been thinking about lately is this quote from President Nelson:

“Whatever questions or problems you have, the answer is always found in the life and teachings of Jesus Christ.“

One of my favourite verses in the scriptures is 3 Nephi 13:22 (which can also be found in Matthew 6:22) which reads:

“The light of the body is the eye; if, therefore, thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light.”

I particularly appreciate the JST version of this verse which is:

“The light of the body is the eye; if therefore thine eye be single to the glory of God, thy whole body shall be full of light.”

I just really love the simplicity of what President Nelson and these scriptures have conveyed. It’s seen all throughout scripture, Jesus Christ is the light and all we have to do is look and keep our focus centered on Him. And everything else follows.

Now this may seem like some overly simplistic idea that’s easy to brush off. But hear me out. Why would it be hard? Sure, it feels hard. But Heavenly Father is not a God that wants to forbid us from returning to Him and having all He has in store for us. Isn’t that the whole point of Christ coming to earth and atoning for our sins? So He can redeem us?

So this is your reminder and my testimony that if you look to Christ in all things, at all times, and keep your focus centered on Him only- you will be filled with light. You can be changed, you can be healed, you can be forgiven, you can be redeemed. You can have joy. All you have to do is look. I know that, because when I stopped worrying about treating my faith like a checklist to avoid damnation and started just looking to Him- things got so much simpler, I became happier, and I started to make so much more progress. So be still, all is well. You know in whom you’ve trusted. Just look to Him, and continue to do so in all things, at all times, moment by moment, step by step. Jesus loves you, and I love you too. Take care 💛

[swan2swan]

So, spoiler thoughts:

So, a good season. Pretty decent, but I'm a little worried that they blew everything by making Season 1 so good.

Definitely had some of the best scenes in the franchise, but the way Season 1 ramped up felt like it was a little...shallow of a splash on Season 2. 8/10 season, maybe a 7/10.

Arguably my least favorite season of the cartoon, and that includes Season 4 of Camp Cretaceous....okay, no, I think this was much better.

I felt like the Brooklynn Alone episode didn't quite match the power of the Ben Alone episode, and that was the first issue. But that also feels like an episode where they had to cut some stuff down with Brooklynn--in fact, there's almost half an episode missing, it felt like. Woulda loved to see her adjusting to public life with her limb difference, and the DLN. Woulda made thee moment where Soyona gently comments on her limb difference all the better.

Speaking of Soyona, I'm glad thy kept her just as much of a menace. I was worried at a few points, but in the end, it was clear that she had complete control the whole time. Probably knows that Brooklynn is spying on her, too....but she's letting it happen.

The episodes with the gang also didn't hit hard enough. It really felt like they waffled around too much with the whole "Kenji Wants to Kill Himself" plotline for too long, and then missed the window. That's indisputably my biggest issue with the seasons: I hate when shows forfeit the essentials of their episodic format and just keep kicking the ball down the road. Kenji risks his life. Yaz gasps. Kenji risks his life. Yaz gasps. Kenji risks his life. Yaz gasps. It's a disservice to BOTH when you don't get to the point and do it five times over.

Then there was Zayna--a delightful character, more than welcome, but I felt that we deserved more of an exploration of "Hey, we're taking on someone who was the same age we were when we were Traumatized. Let's keep the same from happening to her, okay?" And then they could have focused on that a little more than one throwaway gag from Darius.

There also wasn't a lot of introspection on the group, and Darius's infatuation with Brooklynn and Kenji's falling-out with her also seemed a little diluted...meant to be products of odd happenstance and Bad Timing, a Malevolent Coincidence, rather than stagnation and an inevitable reaction. Such is the consequence of a backstory, though.

HOWEVER...the scene in Soyona's apartment was among the best in the franchise. Tense and powerful, wonderfully acted and perfectly paced, it was only matched by Brooklynn's return later. Soyona and Brooklynn played off each other in a way that made them the most engaging part of the season--both a praise and a criticism (the second-best part was possibly Sammy and Zayna, though, again...if they'd gotten into the "Keep Her From Experiencing What Happened To Us" part, it mighta been better.

The Leucistic Baryonyx was a fine addition, but I do wish they'd had the budget to bring in another new dinosaur. Maybe a Megaraptor of some sort. It worked, and the HORROR aspect was definitely there, but...eh. The part where Red figured out "Oh, clicking noises make you happy?" was PHENOMENAL THOUGH??? I FORGOT THAT RAPTORS WERE SMART? I WAS WONDERING HOW THEY WERE COMMUNICATING AND THEN I REALIZED THAT IT WAS JUST RED FIGURING THINGS OUT?????????? BECAUSE SHE'S SMART?????

But also, this felt very much like the Quarry Season. A lot of stuff is happening, there's a nice big group of people, but it's very enclosed. You can even see it in the concept art: the village in Episode 2's credits, the tarmac in Episode 10, this world shoulda been bustling, but they could only afford so much. Less an indictment of the show and more of the budget given to them. Suchomimus coulda been chasing villagers instead of schlorping water, and there coulda been some guards on the tarmac surrounding Brooklynn for that final meeting.

I was very delighted when she went with Soyona, though. And when her PTSD got her in the WORST moment.

Anyway. Hoping next season takes it to a new level. This one had the spunk of Season 1, but it didn't have the reach. But maybe a rewatch will help (it won't, most of my criticisms are Set In Stone, I'm just Correct).

[lizardrosen]

gertrude seems to know that setting up hamlet and ophelia like this isn't a good idea, but she still gives ophelia her good wishes, and lingers a little before she leaves, like she's really pouring all her hopes into this interaction

hamlet is shown into the room by marcellus, which is obviously suspicious, but he's also gotten used to that kind of treatment so it doesn't ping any major alarm bells yet, so he and ophelia get like a minute of sweetness kissing and laughing together, and she seems really tempted to just go for it, but then she catches herself and returns his remembrances. but she won't quite meet his eyes, which is why he looks around suspiciously and loudly performs "no, not i, i never gave you aught" and then tries to signal to her that he thinks she might be bugged, by feeling around his own collar, and when she doesn't give him any confirmation he tries to touch her shirt instead. at this point he just wants to feel that someone is on his side, and then they'd be able to play out this little breakup and be free.

AUGH these two love each other so much, but they can't break out of the script their parents have given them, so they're just standing far apart and both crying without wiping their eyes

hamlet has to BRACE himself to say "get thee to a nunnery." he hates the words coming out of his mouth, but then he starts talking about his own character flaws and he LOVES talking about those because he believes it all, and then he drops all the energy and says very calmly "where is thy father?" ophelia says "at home my lord" but then she nods towards where they're hiding to confirm what he suspected, and you just sort of watch hamlet give up a little

he laughs a little at one of the jokes he's written in the letters and then drops the whole stack on the floor like it doesn't even matter to him, and then he yells a bit and rushes at some curtains in the back, hoping to surprise polonius and claudius, and when he's disappointed he comes back to "give thee this plague for thy dowry" and gets increasingly Alarming. one of the worst moments is when he takes a small vase with a daisy and dashes the water into her face to try to wipe off her makeup, and the daisy falls to the floor, and he's just getting more physical and aggressive with her

and she STILL comes towards him to try to soothe him, because as horrible as he's being, she can recognize that he's in real mental distress, and she still loves him enough to help him (and he and polonius are foils!!) and shortly after " it hath made me mad" ophelia stops trying to follow him and just stares at something in the air that we can't see, the same as when she came to polonius about him, only worse. "oh what a noble mind is here overthrown" is talking about both of them in a way, and she only partly recognizes that.

she pounds her heart, which she'll also do a lot in later scenes, and then rubs at her chest the same way hamlet has been doing whenever he gets caught up in his mind. truly, his madness and helplessness is contagious!!

when claudius says "he shall with speed to England" she stops gathering up the letters and looks up at him with sharp alarm, she does NOT like the sound of this! and then she picks the daisy up too as she stands and is getting way too fixated on it, it's such a tragic image!!

[suzannahnatters]

I Re-Read Tolkien's "Lay of Leithian" For the First Time in Like 15 Years And It's Still My Favourite Poem In the Whole Wide World: Selected Ravings

CANTO I mostly scene setting, but it's so fun to get more worldbuilding details on Doriath. Also this poetry is just gorgeous

CANTO II thou shalt to the moonless mists of hell descend and seek thy Eilinel AUGH

A bunch of details are different in this early version (Gorlim seeking out the Enemy, and being taken to Morgoth not Sauron) but the one that gets me most is Gorlim sneaking away from the phantom without making himself known because he doesn't want her to be hurt T_T

LOTR Orcs are cockneys. Lay of Leithian Orcs have clearly been to university

CANTO III OH HERE'S WHY LUTHIEN HAS SLEEP MAGIC!!!!! Because her mother Melian was associated with Lorien in Valinor, the Vala of dreams and visions, who in Line 439 of the Lay Tolkien calls "the Lord of Sleep"

Okay this is amazing: There after but an hour, him seems, he finds her where she lies and dreams, pale Melian with her dark hair upon a bed of leaves. Beware! There slumber and a sleep is twined! He touched her tresses and his mind was drowned in the forgetful deep, and dark the years rolled o'er his sleep MESS WITH THE ENCHANTRESS AT YOUR PERIL

And now his heart was healed and slain With a new life and with new pain

They enchant each other T_T when he calls "Tinuviel!" there's magic in it

CANTO IV the deathless in his dying shared feels faintly redolent of the Gospel

CANTO V TEXTILE MAGIC Rapunzel joins the list of stories Tolkien looked at, sniffed, and said "I can do better"

CANTO VI We find out why Sauron (here, Thu) is called The Necromancer:

In glamoury that necromancer held his hosts of phantoms and of wandering ghosts, of misbegotten or spell-wronged monsters that about him thronged, working his bidding dark and vile: the werewolves of the Wizard's Isle.

CANTO VII I love SO MUCH the fact that in this version what gives them away to Sauron is the fact that they won't blaspheme the gods and declare Morgoth the king of all earthly kings

CANTO VIII I think it's super important to note that this begins with an absolutely gorgeous passage describing the Bestest Boi, and also there's this beautiful beautiful little Sir Orfeo reference that lives in my head rent free:

Hark! afar in Nargothrond, far over Sirion and beyond, there are dim cries and horns blowing, and barking hounds through the trees going.

Lúthien's meeting with Huan:

Huan alone that she ever met she never in enchantment set nor bound with spells. RIP to you Beren

CANTO IX this whole canto is unbeLIEVably epic, possibly my favourite in the whole Lay, but my favourite part is Sauron hearing the song from the bridge and saying

A! little Lúthien! What brought the foolish fly to web unsought? ee hee hee hee

CANTO X Tolkien just really wants you to know that these guys are Beyond It:

Thereafter never hound was whelped would follow horn of Celegorm or Curufin.

It's interesting that Tolkien at this stage had Beren telling Lúthien to stay in Doriath waiting for his return specifically because Sauron had informed him that Morgoth was keen to capture her. It's like he realised that with all of Lúthien's evident capabilities he needed to give Beren a convincing reason to leave her behind lol

CANTO XI Lúthien catching Beren in the middle of his dramatic farewell will never not crack me up but in this version she tells him off for not putting his trust in her might so weak and then when he asks where's the hound he left to guard her she tells him how much wiser and kinder Huan is than him at which point Beren demands to know why she doesn't just marry the dog

The description of them putting on the werewolf and vampire disguises, and their journey to the gates of Thangorodrim, is fanTAStically creepy and epic and also, I'm surprised to note, HIGHLY reminiscent of the hobbits' trek into Mordor.

CANTO XII this bit about how Carcharoth has not yet come

disastrous, ravening, from the gates of Angband

has STRONG Voluspa echoes -

Loud bays Garm before Gaping-Hel; the bond shall be broken, the Wolf run free

CANTO XIII I love these descriptions of Angband (even Morgoth has tree themed decor) and I love EVEN MORE the fact that when Lúthien flies into the hall a Dark Lord, all his Balrogs and a ton of werewolves suddenly feel the Valar walking over their graves -

A nameless doubt, a shapeless fear had entered in their caverns drear, and grew, and towered above them cowed, hearing in heart the trumpets loud of gods forgotten.

She stood revealed in hell. (chewing glass)

CANTO XIV (fragment) I am going to haunt Tolkien in the afterlife for leaving it off here.

[lillipad72]

The Annotated Anne of Green Gables ~~ a special rereading

CHAPTER IV ~~ Morning at Green Gables

hello everyone, i am back! i have actually been traveling this past month abroad and have not really had much ability to be on tumblr, but i have returned so expect more from me again!

"I think he's lovely...He is so very sympathetic. He didn't mind how much I talked -- he seemed to like it. I felt that he was a kindred spirit as soon as I ever saw him."

Anne's iconic recurring title of 'kindred spirit' for people she connects with on a deep level probably comes from a well-known poem by Thomas Gray, a very popular English poet, despite only publishing thirteen poems in his lifetime. The poem "Elegy in a Country Churchyard" was found in the Fifth Royal Reader, published in 1873, so it is likely Anne would have come across this term there, but this term is also located in The Story of an African Farm by Olive Schreiner, published in 1883, and Elizabeth Von Arnim's Elizabeth and Her German Garden, published in 1898. While it is not completely certain where L.M. Montgomery would have first heard this term, odds point to the Gray poem, and based on the timeline of Anne, it appears this would also be where Anne Shirley would have picked it up. That part of the poem goes as follows: "for thee, who mindful of the unhonored dead / Dost in these lines their artless tale relate, / If chance, by lonely contemplation led, / Some kindred spirits shall inquire thy fate," (Stanza 24, 11. 93-96). Gray's poem was partly inspired by the death of fellow poet Richard West and its themes include death and remembrance. This is an interesting place for Anne to pick up from, noting that she herself has experienced loss, most intimately in that of her parents. I wonder if she thinks of herself as her parents' kindred spirit who thinks about them after they passed, and she herself longs for someone who will remember her so deeply even when she has gone somewhere else.

"Oh, I like things to have handles even if they are only geraniums. It makes them seem more like people. How do you know but that it hurts a geranium's feelings just to be called a geranium and nothing else? You wouldn't like to be called nothing but a woman all the time. Yes, I shall call it Bonny. I named that cherry-tree outside my bedroom window this morning. I called it Snow Queen because it was so white."

This passage makes it abundantly clear that L.M. Montgomery inspired Anne from her own childhood experiences. This instance is taken almost exactly from her journal. On September 21, 1889, when she was thirteen years old, she wrote: "There wasn't any school, so I amused myself repotting all my geraniums. Dear things, how I love them! The 'mother' of them all is a matronly old geranium called 'Bonny.' I got Bonny ages ago -- it must be as much as two or three years ... I called it Bonny -- I like things to have handles even if they are only geraniums ... And it blooms as if it meant it. I believe that old geranium has a soul!" It seems that L.M. Montgomery went through her earlier journals and looked for examples of youthfulness that she could use to create Anne!

next chapter

[beatingdrumspouringwine]

MFA Dionysos Photo Dump + Chat!

As was promised so many days ago, here's a photo dump from my trip to the MFA Boston last Thursday! The amount of stuff they have on Dionysos is actually incredible, and as I said in my initial post, I would really recommend visiting if you ever find yourself in New England/near Boston :)

Also, just a fair warning, this is going to be a pretty long post - prepare thy selves!

To start, I would like to let everyone know that they did put Dionysos on a coin, in case you were worried (coins aren't a big thing for me, but I thought this was kind of cool)

Next, we have this vase featuring Dionysos and two satyrs! I love the relaxed pose of Dionysos, who's holding a drinking horn in His hand

This vase here features Dionysos in a vineyard. I find it pretty interesting that He seems to be depicted with a beard more on the vases than on His statues, although that seems to be a maybe more common theme with all the Gods? Would love if someone knew why this happens!

Another interesting vase, this one depicting the worship of Dionysos. This is probably one of the reasons that I love art history so much - we can get a much more precise picture of what the past was like through the art than the writing, IMO. If ever I find myself either A. immensely rich or B. with a group of super talented friends, I would love to recreate this. I forget which festival this was, although my guess is Anthesteria.

Moving on to the statuary - this depicts Dionysos and a Maenad, in the act of sharing wine (specifically from the Maenad to Dionysos). Although the arm is broken off, the jug "hanging" from the Maenad's hip is a wine jug, which it seems is actually being prepared to be poured into Dionysos' drinking cup. This is definitely a scene I'm planning on keeping in mind for future ritual - the idea of giving to Dionysos as if He were standing in the room, holding His cup out for wine.

This is one of my favorites - a head of Dionysos (called Bacchus, because it's of Roman make). When you're there in person, His eyes are just about at eye level, and there's something incredibly powerful about looking almost directly into the eyes of your God. This is usually where I stop and do my prayers to Dionysos, since the statue gives such a feeling of connection!

This is a Roman sarcophagus depicting Dionysos' triumphal return from India. I feel like He gets a bit lost in the chaos, but the vibes on this coffin are immaculate! The chaos on the coffin is really fun, with Hercules is at the front, drunk after having lost to Dionysos in a drinking contest. This whole thing definitely fits the mythological timeline's vibes well, since, if I remember correctly, this is the starting point of His conquest that leads Him to the kingdom of Thebes in the Bacchae.

This ceiling painting by John Singer Sargeant is definitely a different depiction of Dionysos than how I see Him, but it's meant to be an homage to Dionysos as the God of the theater (I believe), and it definitely gives off those vibes. Also, the pose that He's making is really fitting!

This one's a bit blurry, my apologies! This depicts the moment that Dionysos finds Ariadne on the shores of Naxos, and just before He throws Her crown into the sky. I'm not the biggest fan of this particular style of painting, and as far as I can tell, there's no real reason for me to dislike it. But to give credit where credit is due, I feel like Dionysos finding Ariadne is a severely underrepresented theme in art, and I do appreciate the artist for actually making a piece on it. The story of the two of Them is probably one of my favorites, and I think about it at least once a day :)

Final one! This statue is actually a lot smaller than it looks, and a 17th or 18th century recarving of a different Roman work. This is Dionysos and Ariadne, originally a satyr and a maenad. I love how there seems to be a sense that They both see each other as equals - both in the similar position of the hands in front, the looks on Their faces, and also (not pictured here) Ariadne's hand on the back, which is resting pretty close to Dionysos' butt, in a playfully loving manner. Everything about this seems to speak to a relationship founded on love, equality, and ease. It definitely captures at least Dionysos' vibes - I haven't prayed to Ariadne much, but I feel that it must capture Her vibes as well :)

TL;DR: Art is cool, museums are cool, go while you're still a student and getting into places for free, and praise Dionysos (obviously)!

[meracydia-miqo]

FFXIVWrite 2024 - Day 22: visit (extra credit)

ahki speaks to urianger; referenced spoilers to arr bridge

———

Ahki turned the corner quietly, knocking on the wall twice gently to alert Urianger of her presence. Since their relocation to Mor Dhona, the Waking Sands spent much of the time silent, and empty, home to only Urianger and his collection of tomes.

“To whom do I owe the pleasure?” Urianger asked, without looking up from his tome, flipping over to the next page.

“…’Tis Ahki,” she answered quietly.

Urianger turned to look over at her, eyes hidden behind the shaded goggles he never seemed to remove. She could understand his preference. It was part of why she got along with him; their tendency to hide themselves, in some form or another. “Greetings, my lady,” he said. ”I had mind that thou wert with the Antecedent on this eve.”

I wanted to talk to you, she answered silently, but her mouth wouldn’t let her speak it aloud. She clicked the door shut behind her, before padding over to sit beside him at the table. The tomes were stacked high in front of her, acting almost like a wall to her much shorter frame.

“What didst thou wish to speak to me about?” He asked. He busied himself rearranging some of the piles of tomes on the table, affording her a better view of him, and the two of them both space in front of them. If they were to write more, she knew. It was one of the primary reasons she would visit him, even now as his lessons become fewer and farther between.

Ahki looked away, staring off at the wall for a moment, opening her mouth before speaking, slowly. “I…wished to write…” she trailed off, uncertain.

What am I meant to do?

When she thought much on the topic, she felt even more trapped than ever. Even after so many moons in Eorzea, multiple seasons come and gone, she still felt so alone. An other, in amongst all these people who knew who they were, where they’d come from, and had no reason to hide such a thing. With connections going back years, and friends and acquaintances to go to, and seek advice from.

To seek advice from when face to face with feelings she knew not how to name, nor how to respond to.

So she resorted to the only thing she did know.

She stared down at the smooth surface of the table, idly tracing her finger along the grain of the wood, when Urianger spoke up.

“Very well.”

She listened to him, ears pointed in the direction of the sound out of instinct, as he got up from his chair, walking over to another part of the room before returning to sit back down a few beats later. He slid an empty sheet of parchment onto the desk in front of her, but she didn’t move.

When she tried to think of what to say, or what to write, she came up empty. The simple fact of the matter was she merely wished to communicate better, but her extent of learning how to, was through her frequent writing lessons with Urianger. And practice.

Minfilia had been busy that evening with paperwork and making arrangements related to Scion work, with their increasing presence in the city-states and Eorzea’s affairs. It went a bit beyond what Tataru would typically handle for them herself, and so enlisted Minfilia’s assistance, leaving Ahki with the time free to herself. So she had elected to return to their former headquarters, and seek out the one who had taught her so much already. But even so, her mind wouldn’t stop wandering back to thoughts of her friend.

“Art thou thinking of Minfilia?”

Ahki flinched and looked up, Urianger’s voice cutting through the silence despite its soft, gentle edge. He didn’t usually refer to Minfilia by her name—he was much too formal for such a thing, and it hadn’t passed Ahki’s notice that around her, it was different. Like a silent, conscious effort to make her comfortable, or to ensure that she did not end up as distant as he himself may see himself as.

She avoided his gaze, instead focusing on the line of his hood, up covering his hair and ears as always, but nodded in an unspoken confirmation.

“Thy silence speaketh of thoughts clouded, blanketed in uncertainty.”

Alike to an overcast morn.

At some point, she was sure, she was overthinking it. It was merely the lack of busyness that had her fretting over exact details. Of how to interpret her own thoughts, when she caught them drifting to Minfilia in place of anything else. In place of her home, and her family.

But she didn’t wish to waste Urianger’s time. It had been on a whim she came here, of all places, with no real thought or reason behind it, merely the one place she could think to go. Where she knew she was welcome, as quiet and awkward as she was.

She remembered Thancred commenting once that she and Urianger were the same. Maybe that was why she could get along with him. Why it was to him, of all people, her feet would carry her when she felt weighed down. She did not seek an expert on the matter, merely…a friend or ally with whom she could trust. However much she was capable of such.

“I…know not wherefore,” Ahki spoke up at last, and it was Urianger’s turn to raise his head, staring off into the distance. She followed his gaze.

“Matters of the heart are ever difficult to discern, and harder still to put to the page,” Urianger said. His voice was quieter as he continued, seeming almost to shake. “…I knoweth not if mine own feelings wert ever understood, nor whereunto they wouldst have fallen had I spoken so much aloud.”

Ahki closed her eyes, dipping her head, and clutching at her sleeve tightly in the other hand. Moenbryda, she thought. Though she had not known the woman for long, she knew it was Urianger who was shaken the most by her passing. For a sennight he would not leave the Waking Sands, and for that time, Ahki couldn’t bring herself to disturb him. But she knew even now it must cut deep.

She’d already experienced the same, in some form. It would never not hang over her.

“I…apologies,” she said. For bringing up such a topic. I do not wish to cause you pain, she finished, though only to herself. To speak more than a word or two felt difficult even now.

But despite her worries, Urianger continued unabated, and Ahki peered back up at him. “I knoweth not what form thy feelings take, but know that I shalt ever be wishing for the continued happiness of thee and thine.”

She blinked, lifting her head fully, and felt some form of resolve, or relief, wash over her at his words. For as much as she worried, she felt no pressure to do or change anything, rather to simply accept it. That it was okay. That she could care a lot, and she wasn’t forsaking her family for thinking so much of another, so far away.

If anything, she should be happy to have found a home away from home, and people she could trust.

Ahki stood up, glancing down at the still-blank page before her, untouched despite what she had said earlier. “Thank you,” she said, giving Urianger a small smile, and she surprised herself at the confidence and proficiency at which she spoke.

Urianger stood up, offering her a deep bow as she turned to leave, satisfied. “Thou art ever welcome here.”

I will be sure to return.

[misc-obeyme]

Grey Asmo here!!

Its been a while,hope you are enjoying the holidays.

Ive been thinking about Satan and was wondering wouldnt he talk in a more victorian vibe saying words such as thy and quoting shakespear

Welcome back, Grey Asmo!

The holidays are always a bit stressful, but so far I'm getting through them lol. I hope you're enjoying them, too!

I very much believe that Satan is a romantic and I love the idea that he would speak in poetry to MC when he's in a romantic mood. I like to think of him reciting poetry, whether he's reading it from a book or speaking it from memory - all sweet lines about love and what not. And of course he could be reciting human world poetry from Victorian era poets or just directly quoting Shakespeare (and possibly other Elizabethan era playwrights). In which case there could certainly be some thy and thou in there.

The thing about thy and thou is that they were originally the informal address of you. But over time, you became more common so thou stopped being something people used in general.

So I like to think that Satan likely knows this particular fact. And when MC is an English speaker, at some point, when he starts falling for them or perhaps when he feels very close to them, he starts using it for them when they're alone sometimes.

Kinda like this:

You're in the garden at the House of Lamentation, admiring a flower that has finally bloomed. You turn to Satan, who is with you, and smile. "Isn't it stunning?"

Satan returns your smile and cups your cheek with his hand. "Indeed. And yet that bloom dulls beside thy radiance."

MC probably has no context for this, but I suspect Satan explains the history and maybe he tells them that he considers it an expression of affection. I don't know if it was really used that way back in the day, but I think Satan could tell me anything about words and I'd believe him.

Though I also see Satan just pulling out the Romeo speech at random when he's with MC. If he ever happened to see MC at a window... it'd be all "Hark! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the East and MC is the sun..." LOL.

And if MC was a Shakespeare nerd and happened to know the lines too... like me - oh no don't get me started on MC and Satan reciting Shakespeare at each other that is the kind of thing I live for lol!

[windupnamazu]

you, the destroyer (you, the destroyed)

ffxivwrite2023 #10: divine (free day) of, from, or like God or a god.

Lunya/G'raha. The 7th Astral Era, Crystal Tower quests. 763wc. ⮞ G'raha Tia and an uncomfortably close encounter with the deific kind.

It's at a rest point before they find Doga and Unei and Nero when it happens. The others have splintered off, setting up camp and patrolling the perimeter of the plaza they've confirmed is safe enough, and G'raha is going over the rough map they've been piecing together since crossing into the Thirteenth; the road from the portal is surprisingly straightforward, but they have less than 24 bells to find their friends and get out and they cannot afford a single mistake in escaping.

At his side, Lunya is uncharacteristically quiet.

It's his fault, really, dumping a confession on her as he did. He remains hopeful despite the silence; if she means to turn him down, surely she wouldn't stick to his side as she does, sneaking him looks when she thinks he's not looking in an all-too-endearingly nervous way.

I think I'm in love with you, he had told her.

He felt like an idiot at the time—who blurts something that important over stew? And not to mention the word think. No, he knows. Has known for what feels like forever. Why did he word it like he wasn't that sure? Since when did G'raha Tia, Archon and Student of Baldesion, half-ass anything?

(A quiet part of him is aware of an underlying fear of rejection stemming from childhood. Not that the World of Darkness is the best place to unwrap such a thing.)

Still, the look on Lunya's face when he said it knocked whatever doubts he did have into oblivion.

He thinks he can allow himself to hope.

"Child of legacy," Lunya says in a voice that is not her own.

He is a scholar before all else, but in the presence of the Mothercrystal his curiosity is swallowed, drowned out by fear.

No one else is close enough to notice. He wishes he could scream and call for Zaya or Einar, but his voice is trapped in his throat, sticky like honey but with none of the sweetness, barbs tearing at his lungs.

"Let her go," he grits out with shaking hands. Crystal blue eyes stare back at him, glowing and empty and wrong in the twilight of this world.

"Thou cannot remain in the waking world," is what Hydaelyn says instead of answering his demand, "or henceforth this star will burn out."

"This star," he says, disbelieving. "The world is in danger and you've come to me with a warning? What of your champions?"

"This star," Hydaelyn acknowledges, before she places a hand over Lunya's heart, "and your own."

Nauseatingly, there is no lie in those hollow and stolen eyes. Bile in his throat, G'raha squeezes his eyes shut. Perhaps this is why She came to him and no other.

"What do I have to do?"

"Return the Tower to its slumber. Right the mistakes of thy ancestors and the path shall open to thee."

"Return the Tower to—how am I to do that?" He wouldn't dare call the Mothercrystal an idiot, not to Her face and not when she wears the face of the girl he loves, but—

"Hear," the Mother says. "Feel. Think." And then she is gone and Lunya is swaying, crystalline eyes fluttering shut as G'raha reaches out and grasps her by the shoulders.

I think I'm in love with you, he had told her. He allowed himself to hope because he'd looked into her eyes and saw it there first, overbrimming with joy and relief. He filled his cup on her and got drunk on what he'd seen and now the Mother would have him sober.

"Raha?" Lunya whispers, eyes of familiar violet and crystal blinking tiredly at him as he pulls her to his side for balance. "Wh' happened?"

"You don't remember?"

Lunya shakes her head, waves of starlight fluttering around her face. "Something… something about the Mother… but it wasn't like my previous visions of her."

"She…" G'raha hesitated. "She didn't have much to say. Perhaps she was trying to reach you and the other Warriors."

She doesn't believe him for a minute. Not even when she's still in a daze. But Lunya doesn't press even though he half-wishes she would. Maybe if she had they could have figured it out together instead of him rushing into the plan he thinks of when Doga and Unei grant him a boon.

Long past the aftermath of it all, when he finds the only way out is to offer his life for her own, he finds that he would have made the choice anyway even without the Mother breaking his heart for him.

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

hi! fellow atheist here :)

i wanna know, since u dont believe in afterlife and such, do u just feel ok with death? i know this sounds silly and like something a crazy religious person would say but it's genuine! maybe it's cause i have severe depression ans its all i think about but have u come to terms with death and are ok with it? if so how, cause i wish i could just accept it instead of being depressed about it

Straight to the big questions.

“I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.” -- Mark Twain

I'm not looking forward to the actual process of dying; whether it's painful or scary or confusing or whatever. But I already have billions of years of experience with non-existence.

“You did not exist for about 14 billion years. You exist now and when you die you will not exist again. Forever. Enjoy your existing years.” -- Ricky Gervais

What you have is that you won the lottery. There are billions of billions of billions of people who could have existed but never did. Two people, among the billions on the planet, were born and survived up to the point of meeting each other. And then the right sperm met the right egg under the right conditions and resulted in you.

Now, while you shouldn't feel guilty about the fact you got to exist, or be duped by the notion that you owe somebody for something you didn't choose, nor should you feel entitled or arrogant for something that isn't an accomplishment of your own skill or merit.

You got to exist when billions and billions of potential people did not. And you got to exist at a time of extraordinary comfort and privilege, where the majority of our really big problems have been solved, and services, tools and technologies that were unimaginable only 100, 50 or even 20 years ago, and which would be seen as witchcraft or sorcery further back than that. Billions of people lived and died at a time when you were more likely to die before the age of 2 than to live beyond the age of 60.

“We privileged few, who won the lottery of birth against all odds, how dare we whine at our inevitable return to that prior state from which the vast majority have never stirred?” -- Richard Dawkins

One of the ways you can resolve this is by truly considering the alternative. Which is that unlike every other creature which is subject to birth and death, including the stars and planets themselves, humans are somehow uniquely entitled to exist forever. This kind of arrogance places us outside of nature.

People can't wrap their minds around death, and religion is a coping mechanism. But I feel it is arrogant to notice that every form of life eventually meets it's death, and claim that you will not be participating. -- James Cowden

Believers describe the afterlife as being "perfect." This in itself is concerning, raising questions of why you would even want it. Anything that is perfect is unchangeable. It's perfect before you arrive and it's perfect after. You don't, and can't, affect it or improve it. You can't discover anything, you can't invent anything.

"Now, I can hold a note for a long time. - Actually, I can hold a note forever. - But eventually, that's just noise. It's the change we're listening for. The note coming after and the one after that. That's what makes it music." -- Lorne, "Angel"

An eternity of unchangingness would be hell.

Even worse for the Xian conception of heaven, in which there is only one eternal activity: praising their god. Hitchens described it as "Celestial North Korea."

Revelation 4:10-11

The four and twenty elders fall down before him that sat on the throne, and worship him that liveth for ever and ever, and cast their crowns before the throne, saying, Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created.

Revelation 7:15

Therefore are they before the throne of God, and serve him day and night in his temple: and he that sitteth on the throne shall dwell among them.

The reward in heaven isn't for the believer, it's for god. He rewards himself for his awesomeness by finding the people who want to do nothing but tell him how awesome he is for eternity.

Also, it's filled with Xians.

And it's no better for Islam.

Thank goodness the whole thing is a horrific myth.

"On paper this is paradise. All your desires and needs are met. But it's infinite. And when perfection goes on forever you become this glassy-eyed mush person." -- Patty, "The Good Place"

“Whoever invented heaven and made it eternal forgot that wonderful eventually becomes ordinary, ordinary becomes tedious, tedious becomes unbearable. And you have to bear it. Forever.” -- Bill Flavell

Every trope of eternal life or immortality casts it as a curse rather than a blessing. Every vampire becomes weary, every immortal becomes jaded.

"It doesn't seem like this is paradise for you. You've basically been on a never-ending vacation, and vacations are only special because they end." -- Eleanor, "The Good Place"

Eleanor: "Remember what I said to you when you were going through your mid-life crisis, one earring, red convertible phase?" Michael: "You said that every human is a little bit sad all the time because you know you're gonna die. But that knowledge is what gives life meaning." Eleanor: "The way to restore meaning to the people in the Good Place is to let them leave." -- "The Good Place"

It's okay to be a little bit sad about the fact that life will end. It means you recognize how fortunate we are, how lucky we are to exist, how little time we get, and how when others die, that's it.

Xians think that this life is just the welcome mat on the front door to a palace of eternal life. They can't wait to get through the door. Many of them are rooting for Jesus to return and end it all for everyone, so they can get past the doormat into the palace.

The problem is fixating on it, because you're burning time. Just as you're a bit sad that a vacation will end. But that just means you have to make the most of it.

When there's an infinite supply of something, it doesn't become more valuable, it becomes worthless. When there's never a risk of running out of something or being without it, it loses value. It's only things that are rare, temporary or fragile that are valuable.

It seems like what you're depressed about is that you have this valuable product, Life™, and it's bothering you that one day you won't have it any more. But the reason you value it is because it's temporary and you won't always have it. If you had more of it or knew you'd never run out of it, you wouldn't value it and you wouldn't be concerned about being without it. It's not so much that you're unhappy with the quality of the product, just that it only has a limited shelf-life. If you're depressed about being without it, about inevitably losing it, in a way you've already accepted that you won't have it forever.

You have a jar of Life™ and while it's essentially bottomless, it does have a Use By sticker on it with an illegible date. At some point it's going to expire. The real question is what are you going to do with it while you have it? If you like the taste of it, eat it at every meal. If you don't, mix it with something to improve it.

I don't know if this helps you in any way. I've written before about the "myth of an afterlife," "heaven would be hell," and "fear of death" which may also be helpful.

[libidomechanica]

Or in this gauze baracan the innocence more time

Never fear. Falling late his eyes     betray’d. Weep not the chamber with you? Or in this gauze     baracan the innocence more time must be gone: one arm clasp’d     by the tree should have done. Down the others grown brain, have me     most! Whose cristal springe, the

blue slipp’d a towers a sweet Sleep,     in these were too much thought their blackleg, broad should taken for     ornaments according to that e’er I love while poor     Pedrillo some kept his elbow, from here hangs still God is fill;     and nights and up the hill

I see the roofs with patience, thereon     were dry; that indeed his question meet, that bring and in     the burden to take delicious sigh evergreen and he     needs their baked limb, in the better when they were blossoms blushed     bright point out to a sharks

still be thirty-two and she, his     ears, what it would save their spleen on? ’Er men, are gone: in some     drops within thy little thin-spun life. Or vow ye never     trees and sparing, and your beautie’s wooing alone, sky-pointing     out and blow a strong

bow into the language chiefly     thought, sick of sure and pistachio nuts—in shore. Upon     the added to sings, I put on: but yet, which in the skies     warm and knock; and the Polish Jealous in this marine afar,     and blouse—nay, a bit

of the word was making better     happy beyond the spirit in this around the Dorian     pipe, no more refused; pedro, his hammocks; sometimes some     buried in. From some of the fields, and most return’d his face,     and bid there was squall or

were two think it was like Cromwell’s     that is life? The muse a few tea-spoonfuls, else they to say.     The Dew-bespangling gems profusely shone that is why I’m     telling soul, and the heir. Graze, or the ebbing you them: and     a more the enchants of

old spring, the approach of home     nearer that moment Juan, where from such less, the way to save     my granted; yet were sate, like that urns aside above the     lady’s food. Was a waters; like golden palace. As they     almost superior

yoke of me: the force, choise sports I     have gazed, and by, ’ like Arabian dew besmears my     unconscious power befalls moon rolls in desert, I am     not dead, but, ere once she stubborn cave—such handsome according     to the distance, like

a with awaits thorough my lay,     listening o’er there being settled in half sate on the auburn     wave when life. Sad sight, and crude, and flap the smiles, and clung—     their weariness, she seem’d as a genial song, solved on. Are     able to pray, since too

well, my wanton babes have had the     window-ledge which open’d from those had return will; let not     being refrain, even aside: he mother, wood, while thus     they did the reason, surely feelings, and high soaring heart     half Mussulman, and

Pedrillo, and with wings outraught, until,     from thine age should take on all he lay, and college. I     have the boat is lost as many think scorned and swore, a houses     or dies; goat’s condition. Hear us, and the air, thought     at which all that made the

lee-lang day; love, all was staring     ocean, on seeing him in the rosy sanctuary     when in the man. When they lay like the grew of the rough the     harp-string—quite in a moment before here, this with blossomed     Music mute, as you will

be, yet, sadness. And fill’d him to     knows what waved to know; and every fair street its good modern     build whisper round; thought to the night. If I really some Eyes     betray’d; their youth that which got him slumbrous night before you     suddenly, she younger.