#it feels disconnected
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filipina miku!! my mom helped me with her outfit ^_^
#THIS TOOK ME FOREVER RAAHHHH#i had help from my mom with stuff like the parts of the traje de mestiza which is the outfit shes wearing#this trend looks so much fun and i wanted to join in.. im first gen canadian though so ive never been to the philippines and only#know thru stories of my parents growing up. im proud of my heritage but there are some things i didnt grow up with that#make me feel disconnected from my culture. so it was nice to talk to my mom abt it and ask for her help with this :3#the pleated tapis is meant to resemble her skirt.. i had no way of adding her stockings but i noticed the piano key design#so i used that for the saya. the bandana is meant to resemble her hairties and shes wearing bakya wooden slippers with embroidery#i kinda wanted to add the panuelo to resemble her tie as a finishing touch but i forgor ;w; just imagine it i guess#my mom really likes this. shes a little confused abt the blue hair and i had to explain her hair is like that but she thinks shes pretty#originally i wanted her holding the woven pamaypay and fanning herself because ITS HOT ITS 25 FUCKING DEGREES TODAY#but i couldnt get the pose right so i settled for this. i wanna draw her and brazilian miku high fiving ill do that tmrw#my art#myart#hatsune miku#miku worldwide#philippines#vocaloid#miku
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1.05 / Battle of the Labyrinth
#I FEEL SO NORMAL ABOUT THIS#percy jackson#pjo tv show#percy jackson and the olympians#pjotv#percabeth#pjo#screaming crying#mine#100#500#1k#5k#im in the middle of packing and this sent me frantically looking for my copies of pjo#anyway#i feel so insane i feel like im gonna die can anyone hear me. CAN ANYONE HEAR ME#annabeth has been so disconnected from the mortal world and just so fundamentally unable to enjoy her childhood#it makes me want to sob like seriously#i hope her and percy go on so many movie dates. like#not even just her and percy i hope percy tells grover and word spreads around camp and movie nights just become a thing at camp#because all these babies deserve it#god im gonna die. im seriously gonna die#WE KNOW THERE'S AN ORIENTATION VIDEO#SO THEY HAVE A PROJECTOR AND A SCREEN#MOVIE NIGHTS COULD HAPPEN!!!#okay bye. i'm going to go scream about percabeth some more
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Tfw your beautiful girlfriend explains all the Alien movies’ plots to you before she goes to bed.
#based on real events with my partner#who was extremely grossed out by my extensive knowledge on the subject#I can’t wait to make her watch the movies (she agreed to)#Pearl feels like he’s so disconnected to fandom & pop culture#and Marina’s got awful autistic knowledge on niche subjects#anyways!#shitpost#pearlina#off the hook#marina ida#pearl houzuki#my art#sketch
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Hello? Are you still here? (Me after tmagp started, but I'm still drawing alternative s1 tma) If you are new to this AU, or don't remember: It's called Gertrude is still around or GiSA for short
More from this au
The AO3
My kofi if you like what I do, or want me to draw something for you and stickers at my redbubble
#occudo's art#tma fanart#tim stoker#gertrude robinson#danny stoker#elias bouchard#gertrude is still around au#honestly#i kinda feel disconnected from everything#but this chapter's draft was on my phone for maybe a year#so I'm happy I finally drew it
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How did y’all choose your names? Was it just trial and error?
#maybe I can ignore it and just keep my given name#but something eats at me#I HAVE to change my name and idk why#Opal feels disconnected from me in a weird way even though it’s been my name for 22 years#like the name is MINE but it’s not MY name if that makes sense#idk man I’m figuring all this stuff out by myself#in between doing adult shit#I wish I transitioned as a teen when experimenting was more acceptable
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fighting back? against who? they're so happy—they've been waiting for you.
you are wonderful. don't you know that?
bonus: they play sims together :)
#running out of pre-made art for the queue… ;; sorry folks. hope you enjoy this though! you voted for it o7#utdr#wd gaster#gaster fanart#utdr fanart#deltarune fanart#deltarune#kris deltarune#utdr player#utdr soul#ney’s art#ney’s comics#if gaster was ever an enemy in the actual story i feel like it’d be like this. antagonistic but not behaving maliciously for fun#just dial up his genuine affection for the world to an extreme and make it tinged with Scientific Interest#bam. disconnected and maybe unintentional damage. baked with love from the void#… i do love a good edgy evil guy though. and the goofy takes are favorites too.#btw lowkey this is based on how much the fandom collectively (i think?) loves kris#like yes go blorbo we want to see you overcome all challenges :)#our buddy took all this trouble of taking us to build-a-vessel and someone just stomped on it when we finished :( rude
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alternate surface au inspired by a few ive seen around on tumblr :3
#my art#pressure roblox#roblox pressure#sebastian solace#painter pressure#thought more abt my headcanons for seb’s anatomy and like. lol that tail is not pure muscle hes got guts in there.#that + the fact that there’s spinal cord in there means itd be a bad idea to try and amputate it#the wagon/eventual wheelchair is mostly for outdoor use i imagine.#<- specificallt]y for outdoor surface textures/debris that’d be bad for him to slither on#also. chronic pain have i dont think suddenly shrinking his whole body did much good for that#i imagine he and painter have like. a pool. to help with that and other needs he has now.#but he wouldnt wanna use it for a long while#there was a sort of. disconnect between his idea of freedom from urbanshade vs the reality of it i think.#like. thinking things could. on some level. go back to normal#and not considering that some of his mutations would be irreversible#and having to confront/cope with/accomodate himself about that#seb wants to be normal again but we cant all get what we want can we!#sometimes healing involves working with or around irreversible change buddy!#btw if feligayzed sees this. hiii hii your au was one of the big things that kicked my brain off on this and i wanna make fanart sometime#oh yeah this is . also.#sebpainter#pressure pathways#pathways#wow i dont think ive written a wall of tags that big in a long time. can you tell im having normal feelings about them
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comic about v2 and the goal they'll never fully reach alongside a dissatisfying conclusion. intimate rivalry and all (alternative ending comic. V1 dies instead of V2 during 4-4. V2 is narrating. V1 is dead.)
#high of victory drops to an overwhelming crushing feeling of what comes next now that youre done#if it wasnt clear v2 is trying very hard to put v1 back together after it kills them. very very poorly. weight of your actions hits#v2#v1#ultrakill#v4v#heavy implied at the very least. see as you will#i realize now that the writing is very disconnected and so are the drawings but bear with me here. do you see my vision#theres something going on between these two that is beautiful but also extremely codependent#at least on v2s end#tried to do those two descriptive pages in a way where it went like. 2 - 3 small details about v1. and then something very specific. some-#-thing theyd only know if they paid close attention to how the other acted or looked#took me a few days to put together and im pretty happy with it i think#feel free to dub or do whatever as long as you gimme credit where credits due#there are many ways to interpret v2 and this is one of them#gen art
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For the Laicion nation (aka, me and three other people)
I had this illustration commissioned (a big thank you to @lunehowls) for my werewolf AU Laicion fic (still a WIP).
The general pitch is as follows :
AU in which Laios never got to meet his sister again, putting his life on a whole other path, a more desperate one. A military deserter with barely a coin to his name, Laios hitches a ride on a boat to one of the elven continents, where he learns about magical tattoos that binds one’s soul to a wolf’s, effectively making them artificial werewolves. Illegal magic be damned, this feels like the answer to… everything.
In the process, he learns about the existence of an illegal fighting ring in one of the elven cities, where beastmen gladiators gather. Freshly tattooed and without anywhere else to go to, Laios decides to head there, where he meets Lycion, an elf and artificial werewolf gladiator. If they first bond over a simple shared meal, by spending time together (sharing the same room in the barracks, maybe the same bed? gasp) they find that they have a lot in common, notably a shared distaste for the body they were born in, a dysphoria partially remedied by becoming a werewolf.
They bond :)
NB: I commissioned another piece, go take a look :D
#dungeon meshi#laios touden#lycion#laicion#I'm heads deep in research regarding Ancient Rome gladiators... and loving it. Really fascinating stuff.#I bemoan the fact that most papers are locked behind a paywall (though I found one that gives a free pdf access)#(and no. Sci-hub is not an option. It's blocked in my country)#I'm also re-reading DunMeshi and taking notes to get a better grasp of Laios and Lycion as characters. Character studies if you will#and I still need to fully outline the fic#I know where I'm starting (struggling to choose a POV for that first chapter LOL) and where I'm ending so there's that#and a bunch of disconnected scenes (as we all do ahaha)#anyway. Doing all of this while studying for veterinary school. It's hard. I feel guilty whenever I'm not studying...#let's just say I don't expect the prep work for the fic to be ready before this summer (+ I need to finish the Kuro cosplay for Japan Expo)#hopefully; once it's done; I'll be able to set a schedule and write smoothly#werewolf#werewolf laios#rarepair#Fy posts
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many many isabeaus... and some sloopis's of course :^) !!!!
i like consolidating my doodles so that's probably what i'm going to do for the most part from now on (^^ゞ!
#i've been having soooo many feelings about isaloop#god i love them sm#first image is just them. also loop helping with isa's dysphoria a bit teehee#i think they bond a lot over having Changed in a large capacity#and they help each other when they feel any sort of disconnect with their body#isa is a little meaner around loop.. maybe...#but in a lighthearted way! i think that's just the effect loop has on others LMAO#and also like. sometimes u just gotta get the hater out of u#and isa's unending kindness makes loop more willing to be nice sometimes too !#me when... two people rub off on each other and balance each other out.. UEAUGH#second image is ans manga redraws#just being self indulgent and combining my favorite ot3s LOL DW ABOUT IT#but also. siffrin is prince zen; loop is obi; isa is shirayuki i take no criticisms#based more on their dynamics with e/o than perfect personality match!#last image is just isa being cute he is very cute#isat#in stars and time#isat siffrin#in stars and time fanart#isat fanart#isat isabeau#isat loop#isaloop#sloopis#isabeau#siffrin#loop#loop isat#artilite doodle#artilite
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The hardest, but most important, part of my transition has been untangling what my personal dysphoria is, and what is more a result of cissexism.
What I mean by this is that I learned that I am not dysphoric about certain aspects of myself, my body, and my life, but my discomfort in these aspects was influenced by the cissexist culture I live in which told me I couldn't exist as myself.
It's definitely a slow process, but I have found that it helps me self-actualize and actually see myself instead of what others demand of me.
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#mtf#nonbinary#dysphoria#and what makes this really tricky is that often it isn't clear-cut as to what makes you dysphoric...#...versus what makes you uncomfortable due to your culture or environment...#...i still experience dysphoria but now i find that my motivation isn't to please the people around me...#...if i truly wanted to please the people around me then i would cease to exist altogether...#...and once i truly recognized that and came to terms with this reality i stopped feeling like i owed the world everything...#...i stopped feeling so disconnected with myself...#...i don't think this will be useful for everybody but i want to offer a different approach to it...#...by no means do i think that this is a 'cure-all' in fact it's not even close...#...because what i found that this has done is bring me *closer* to my trans body and my trans soul...#...i have found that my dysphoria has narrowed (especially since going on testosterone) and i feel more at peace
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i have one video i've been wanting to make about a certain splatoon lore topic so badly for some years now and i wanna do it soon. but every time i think about it i can feel myself going insane. there's so much i need to say. how do i structure this in a way that makes sense. does it even make sense at all. to me? god help me
#rassicas speaks#spoilers: yep its the water thing.#stares haggardly at mirror with my hands white knuckle gripping on the sides of the bathroom sink. splashes water in my face#i feel like ive cracked open a fucking conspiracy. ITS ALL CONNECTED ITS ALL FUCKING CONNECTEDDDDD I FEEL INSANE#stares at my corkboard with strings. punches wall#the water weakness is not as stupid and disjointed as everyone thinks and i have to prove it.#the disconnect between the west and JP in terms of acceptance of the water weakness lore is fucking insane#there's a video from a edutainment quiz youtuber in JP. not a splatuber mind you. that talks about osmosis and how it connects to inklings#the canon explanation mind you. this video has a million views!!!#a million fucking views!! its a video for casuals!! everyone knows inklings canonically die in water and the reason is related to osmosis!!#meanwhile if you bring up the concept of inklings dying in water on the western side with hopes to theorize according to canon lore#and i will. present the dev interview that outright confirms the reason is related to osmosis.#u know what happens. um actually they only die in fresh water! um no they dont die in water they just cant swim! DO U KNOW HOW INSANE I FEE#jp side has been speculating on how the osmosis thing actually works on inkling biology for years#and the english side cant even get over the hurdle that the water weakness is like. real undeniable canon#like i get that info is less accessible here. as i will prove. in my video eventually.#but holy fuck it makes me crazyyyyy when i actually do present stuff and ppl cover their ears anyway. this has happened a lot.
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Watching "Mockingjay" in 2023 is an...interesting experience.
"President Snow blew up a hospital!" My god, what kind of an absolute monster would do such a thing? Lucky this is just fiction, haha.
Directed by Francis Lawrence, who put his name to the letter praising Joe Biden for not demanding a ceasefire in Gaza. Brought to you by Paramount Pictures, the company that just fired Melissa Barerra for speaking out against genocide in Palestine.
#does *no one* feel the disconnect?#do none of these ghouls feel sick to their stomach every time they look in a mirror?#francis lawrence#mockingjay
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experiment
#digital#doodle#and now for something completely different#feeling super incredibly lost with art#havent felt comfortable or enjoyment while drawing in like eight months#theres a weird disconnect in my brain that i dont know how to bridge and overcome in order to get back to doing art
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i call this one "god damn it jesus christ i was just doing this to wind down from my other comic why did it take like 2 days to finish" and also "therapists don't take style points so i guess this'll do" and also "i cant fucking use the knuckleblaster it makes me mad" and finally: "bowing back to v2 in the first fight is funny so i illustrated it. theres some other stuff in there too i guess."
#we draw at times!#comic#ultrakill#v1#v2#i just think theyre neat and i was bored of. green#context: working on my actually long comic. drew these to refresh my eyes so theyre lower effort than they could be. don't really care 2muc#art#the only reason the last two are splash pages is i. cough. wanted to go to sleep before 3 am tonight#wasted all my multiple-panels energy on pages 3 and 4. you get splash pages and you will rejoice.#if it feels disconnected yeah i didnt script it either and it took like two days. this is entirely vibes all the way through#i was literally just bored and i like v2#ok good night im going to take my nap
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But not green.
You know the song Mr. Jones? Yeah.
#Something something self perception#they love the image of the hero#But he doesn’t feel like a hero#With all the death he feels he’s caused#Can he be loved? Is he even worthy of it?#he feels trapped and disconnected and stuck and he doesn’t feel REAL#Amsjdjjsjsjsjsjjaajaj#Ferally running around my brain help#the line from the song#we all want something beautiful… man I wish I was beautiful#is another I wanted to add to the comic bc it also fits warriors.. maybe I’ll draw it sometime idk#Lu warriors#linked universe#Linked universe warriors#warriors linked universe#linkeduniverse#hryule warriors#Hyrule warriors link#bc this could be taken that way too#THANK MARGIN FOR THIS HER HYRULE WARRIORS LINK FUNDAMENTALLY CHANGED MY PERCEPTION OF THIS GUY#my art#linked universe fanart#Comic#A rare sighting of MY HANDS XD#Bc I used them as a reference lol#Also I know I’ve been posting art every day for like the last 2 weeks or smth#I have no patience#when I finish something I want to show the world XDDD#Tw blood#cw blood
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