#it didnt name me unfortunately but i was the main person who did the thing (activisty)

[unganseylike]

if i was making one of those specific poll things i wld include “someone wrote a negative op-ed about something i did” bc thats my proudest accomplishment

[miraclemaya]

As a teen I moved to a small highschool with a proportionately tiny group of LGBT+ peers, and me missing out on the Middleschool Period of schooling for those students meant that I was like, missing a shit ton of in-group lore that I had to find out bit by bit over the years. A lot of which, in hindsight, was uuhhhh. Pretty awful?|||Like, sophomore year, "oh yeah there's this guy in the friend group named "A" who is constantly on the verge of getting recruited into alt-right spaces. You'll have to keep re-explaining to him why eugenics is bad (yes, even when it's targeting conservatives, he gets hung up on that detail) and tell him to stop sending you memes about "tr*ps," but we're afraid that if we excommunicate him from the friend group he really will go off the deep end" yikes. I guess I'll be drafted into the cause as well, just add me to the separate group chat made to shit talk him ig

Junior year, "Hey you probably didn't know this because that person "Y" isn't really a part of our main friendgroup, but can you call them by she/her pronouns and deadname them unless you're in a conversation with these 3 specific students? They're in the closet, even to their own group of friends" oh shit, yeah, of course of course.

Senior year, "Oh geez, yeah, remember when "A" was stalking "Y" in like, the 7th grade? Oh I guess you weren't here, anyways that's why "Y" isn't a part of the friend group and why they're still in the closet. Like, they came out as enby to three of us some time after leaving the friend group, and they definitely don't want "A" to know their chosen name so it's kept under wraps" jesus. What?? That's horrific, but after knowing the guy for a couple of years I'm unfortunately not surprised... I guess I understand why everyone decided to try and keep him in line from then on...?

Post graduation: ...HEY, WHY THE FUCK DID YOU ALL KEEP "A" IN THE FRIEND GROUP INSTEAD OF "Y"? TO THE POINT THAT "Y" DECIDED TO NEVER FULLY LEAVE THE CLOSET AND JOIN A GROUP OF CISHET FRIENDS UNTIL AFTER THEY LEFT FOR COLLEGE?

And anyways sometimes even when you do baby a white guy's feelings (be he a member of the LGBT community or not) all you end up doing is alienating those who he hurts and allowing him to get away with shit within your social circle under the guise of him "being confused and needing you to explain it. Yes, a tenth time over." And this is a hyperspecific personal experience but every time I see a post referencing the "well if I just hated the right way, alt right spaces called me brother :(( " guy I think about "A" and how even when we bent over backwards to make him feel like family he was still a pretty shit ass sibling to have around

im a little curious what prompted this but yeahhhhh that is very real is the thing. i didnt have much in the way of real social groups in highschool but the like nazi adj types were not people you could like coddle back into not being nazis they got pissed at you if you said they were wrong about anything i got threatened with getting beaten up a few times (i never did get my shit kicked in by them because there were not that many white nazis at a school that was mostly brown and black kids lol) as for like online social spaces, i was the tranny that had to deal with this shit with the few "friends" i had it was not good and i do not talk to any of those people anymore even the ones that were nice to me, because they very much kept around assholes who were awful

[the-queerview]

The Substance

2024

by Coralie Fargeat

My dear readers, it's been a while since I decided to post. It was a long summer, ending with me visiting North Korea, just kidding, i just saw North Korea, which is already pretty amazing and frightening. Unfortunately my experience was disrupted, since a few week before my arrival some American tourist ran into North Korea and got shot, rest in peace idiot. They say never judge a deceased and in retrospective, i can't since those tours are literally disneyland trader joes tourist traps kind of, but lets not roast on peoples buisnisess here, lets roast the films, that take us on rides in our grey existence.

I would like to start by saying, that it's a pretty good year for babes and a pretty good year for horror film. We had Brat summer and soon there will be Nosferatu Autumn, with Lily Rose Depp starring in Nosferatu (102 years after its first release). We have Hunter Schaefers first cinema film, where she is not there for like 5 minutes like in Hunger games or entirely Naked for a few minutes like in Lanthimos kinds of kindness. Not to hate on nudity here, but we have a quite problematic history with women* and nudity. I highly recommend here Linda Nochlins representing women, on womens representation within western art history paintings, which is till todays core a major influence on cinematography. Which brings me to start today with a Portrait by Gericault, titled : Monomaniac of Envy (Monomane de l’envie) from 1822.

The Substance is a film following Elisabeth Sparkle ( Demi Moore), a former Oscar winner now aging TV -Starr with an aerobic ( I assume) show. (We might be remembered here of Jane Fonda, who indeed was an actress and the figure for aerobic in the 80s, when american propaganda preached they can't control the world in post vietnam war america and they only thing they can control is the BODY.) Elisabeths nasty boss is firing here for being to old, sad and isolated as she is, we don't learn so much, about her inner world. They cinematograpghy is resembling a distant, almost, stretched, lets say overdrawn perspective, probably similar to the characters inner world. Everything is clean, but not personal. Theres a giant photograph of Elisabeth in her almost comic looking loft. It reminds me somehow of older sowiet films, where a picture of Lenin would hang on the walls or some shit, so I thought, damn, the main dictator in Elisabeths Life is probably herself. And turns out right. Long story short, I try not to spoiler the grande scenes here, but one word, the billboard scene.. Elisabeth gets in contact to an anonymous note by an anonymous person, after some tragedy, and orders the SUBSTANCE. She will pick it up, inject it, and after some alien shit, which you see in the first picture, a second version of herself, that is herself will crawl literally out of her back. This version is young, hot, and will fuck Elisabeth up. Her name is Sue ( Margaret Qualley) and the rule is, that Sue got 7 days, and Elisabeth got 7. If one breaks the rule, they basically both fucked.

So the movie itself, is literally like, when popstars get the chance, like i dont know, rihanna doing superbowl singing all her bangers. kind of this vibe, So for horror film nerds, and i m sure i didnt guessed all but we have of course, david lynchs twin peaks and pretty sure wild at heart. we have suspiria by dario argento, especially the soundtrakc and BLOOD, we have some cronenberg body horror, and crazy camera like in gaspard noes enter the void, but all in all, i guess, what i was missing in the film, is that the first half was literally fucking amazing. it had it's own signature, it didn't need the references from my part, like yeah those dude directors did important work, i wish Fargeat would trust herself maybe more, that what shes doing is the right thing to go for. Also I literally loved ALL THE DETAILS. Like i could start analyzing so many bits of it.

I loved, that it was dealing with Envy, fear or aging, MISOGYNY, and comparison in such a smart way. The first half of the film, felt like an entire advertisment, which is the core to all evil, as we know. We literally spent actually years of our lifes watching advertisments.

The second half of it, reminded me to much of 80s body horror, it had its campy moment. And here I m being unfair probably. I did my research and Coralie Fargeat is born 1976. She was a a child in the 80s, and this was a time, that formed her culturally and therefor aesthetaically to a certain degree... or did you never noticed that fashion designers usually end up designing clothes, that they loved to wear as kids/teens? I feel like, if Coralie Fargeat felt like working in this 80s rubber stuff was important for, fuck , let her do it. Also in the 80s there weren't many female filmmakers around, especially not in the dudy dude horror scene. So whatever.

Also I was tbh in shock about the violence. Like many times, my partner had to close my eyes in the cinema, cuz i was hella scared of the intense violence. Maybe Kira Muratova ( an amazing ukranian filmmaker, that I truly adore for insane films) was right, when she said, women make harder films. I wonder if it has something to do with being in pain every month, of the injustice of the binary patriarchal world, or the violence transwomen experience?

There was for sure a very insanity level of violence, but at the same time, the most stunning portrayal of envy against a version of yourself, that you might never see. I loved that it also reflected so much the world in a sense, the decadence of the west, hollywood, glamour, age, ozempic, comparison, starving for youth vs the isolation of those from the current wars in the middle east, the starvation in Sudan. The proatogists were isolated in every scene almost. The Bathroom was the scenery of the crime, similar to the way we use this room to get ready for the outer world. The only real personal details in the film I experienced in the notes, those handwritten notes, that would always appear. I kept thinking about them for days. They became almost a metaphor for me, that different then then all the advertisments, the substance delivery typography, all those for Elisabeth Sparcle seemingly important objects, where not personal, thou its about her,about her body. while those handwritten notes by the strangers, seemed more personal, then the things that surround her, since trough the handwriting they are proof of a human life. Turns out, they were a signifer of what is missing in her world, the way she experience having the body, its no intimate, not adressed.

Also Demi and Margaret were so fucking amazing, i 'm literally blown away. Like i WISH i could like scream and hug them and be like. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT. I bet all their friends and family are proud like crazy. This shit was insane, playing that? Insane. They did so good, like not many ppl can read a script like that and be like...mhhh yup. So GRANDEUR APPLAUSE !!!!!!!

All in all I highly recommend checking out the Substance, I m sorry if I spoilered to much. Big trigger warning for violence, also some scenes are literally gross, depending on you, bring a friend or a lover, and watch it in the cinema, if your socio cultural situation allows you to, i can imagine this film being censored, otherwise just be illegal literally. Like we live in hell.

but dont watch it alone, only if you are freaky deaky i guess.

love to my readers.

the queerview

ps: Also I did watch blink twice by Zoë Kravitz. a queerview will follow, but its so hardcore to watch blink twice and p.diddies freak party assault stuff. mentally i cant go down that road, but Kravitz did literally on time...

[hella1975]

Bestie im starting college soon and you seem like a person with friends so like how do you do that

very flattered by this <3333 very much going to be talking from my own experiences here and as always when i give advice my word is NOT gospel so if you'd rather do something else than what i say then that's totally fine if anything i ENCOURAGE that. as lame as it is 'be yourself' is the worst best advice you'll ever get, otherwise you'll get stuck with people who aren't like-minded at all and it can be really suffocating (this is always what i have the biggest issue with bc i have a habit of just catering my personality to whoever im with, so none of my friends ever feel like they get me if that makes sense. so yes i objectively have a good number of friends and several functioning friendship groups that i enjoy, but at no point do i ever feel like ive taken the mask off, yk?)

so yes, unfortunately all of what i have to tell you is going to have the underlying assumption that you're taking 'be yourself' to heart. i mean it. one friend that knows you as some cringe online loser that likes anime is so so much better than twenty friends that think you're hot shit.

specifically for a college environment:

push yourself! ive said this kind of thing before, but i dont mean 'wake up an extrovert one day'. i understand it's hard and scary and social anxiety/neurodivergence is a thing, but teenagers arent actually stupid! they want to see you trying more than anything else. if you act a hermit who doesn't leave their room ever or go to any social functions and then gets upset when no one magically befriends them, then that was always going to happen. but if you try and reach out, try and make small talk whenever you're in shared spaces, try and be in group chats, try and put the effort in, then even if you dont succeed or you think you did a bad job, other people will still recognise the effort. genuinely it goes such a long way. of course the more things you do actively partake in, the easier it'll all get for you, but i dont want you to make yourself uncomfortable or wind up hating college altogether. push yourself, but dont beat yourself up if you need a time out every now and then

join societies! i actually didn't do this (unless you count women in finance which... i do not count) but i always kept this option in the back of my mind for if i couldnt make any friends on my course OR any friends in my accommodation. it's a sure-fire way of meeting people AND you can cater it to ensure they're similar to you by following your interests. also idk about other places but in the uk, societies arrange social nights amongst their club, so you go out to events and bars and move nights and shit together and you can create an entire social scene just through your society

don't give up. this is cringe but also true. i have two main friendship groups at university: my coursemates and the [insert their accom's name here] lot. you might notice i didnt say my flatmates and that's because my second friendship group, the one im in the most and am now living with next year btw!!, met me in a really random way. it started out with me sticking with 'the flatmate i dont like' as she's come to be named, who befriended our neighbour in the accom over from ours, who met these other two girls (flatmates with each other) at a social night I DIDNT GO TO, and now me, my neighbour and those two girls are super close and i practically lived at their accom all through first year. but i wasn't friends with those two girls until MONTHS into university, and as you can see, it was really random when it did happen. friendships are like that! if my mate hadn't gone to tequila night just for the tequila to run out and them all to go to the same afters by PURE CHANCE, then i wouldn't know two of my closest uni friends! how mental is that!

remember that everyone is in the same boat. idc how confident or hot some of these people are, i am telling you as a FACT of life that they are pure shitting themselves thinking they aren't going to make friends at uni. this is why it's key to be brave in the first few weeks before people start finding their feet. take advantage of their insecurity! the girl ive just spent three nights with in my uni city literally adopted me after an induction lecture we both had for economics because she came up to me and TO MY FACE went 'hey you seem really nice and i dont know anyone, can i stay with you?' and she's now one of my favourite people. not once did i go 'hey that's kind of a ballsy/weird thing to say' because i was too busy being RELIEVED that someone had come up to me, bc sure enough i was in my own mental spiral of 'shit shit shit i dont know anyone fuck what the fuck'. like genuinely just reach out to people OR latch onto the people that reach out to you. i remember one time i went to a freshers fair ON MY OWN and i was really embarrassed by that fact bc most people go with their flatmates or SOMEONE and i was on my own, so i literally just started talking to the girl next to me on the bus because she was on her own too. we did the entire freshers fair together and i never spoke to her again, but we totally used each other in that moment and there's literally nothing saying we couldn't have clicked and become the best of friends. you're all as pathetic as each other in those first few weeks, remember that.

all in all, good luck. it's a great time and i guarantee you you'll do great. im rooting for you anonstie, keep me posted!

[tales-of-the-alchemist]

What Happened to Project Obsidian? Late Update

Hello dear followers of this blog and the former Project Obsidian members. As of right now, I found out I am the only person who has access to this account (unfortunately not the main Project Obsidian Blog). I figure it is time to post an update even if its two years late and I have long since moved on from this fandom. 

Who I am isn’t important. All you need to know is that I was very heavily involved within the project and my leaving this project helped to cause it to completely end. I won’t post names here, but for those who know, know exactly who I am talking about and the exact details. Heck, some people can even guess who I am just by these words alone.

It’s a long story that I will post below. The most important part is that I will update this blog with concepts and pages that never made it out to the public. I’ll try to credit whoever did it (though I do apologize if I forget who made them as its been two years and not everything was documented nor credited properly).

What Happened to Project Obsidian? Well, here is the story.

I was a heavily involved member in the Project Obsidian community and was even the “leaders” in the project. It was a position dropped on me suddenly just because I was just doing things that the group should already be doing. 

The project only started up as a thing between friends but quickly grew and spread. The problem was there was so much focus on promoting but not enough on the creative side. I was actually one of the first appointed group leaders and I was deeply upset that the project had yet to start. I was technically the first in line to get the project started anyways and with no direction or help from the higher ups, I decided to take things into my own hands. 

I gave out my team assignments and encouraged others to get involved and pitch their own ideas. I documented these ideas (those who remember this document know that I spent months updating this document constantly). This started to get everyone to actually begin to work on the comic which was exciting at the time. But... I was the one to kick start the project, not the leadership. I’m not trying to brag rather I am trying to state how much of this should of been a red flag at the start... and how I really should of left before this started. 

Because you see...the main problem with Project Obsidian is that one person wanted not the community involvement. Honestly, I do believe the person wanted to present only their set of ideas and using the excuse of it as a project to only set forth their ideas and everyone has to help bring their ideas to life. As a result, many creators never got proper credit and the person “in charge” was too involved in everything yet nothing at the same time.

I was the one who actually ran the meetings. I was the one checking up progress on everything. I was the one organizing. I did so many things yet I had no clue what my own job was actually supposed to be. I spent so many hours on this project that it hurts. 

This project has always been flawed with leadership and even I admit I messed up as well. I do try with best intentions even if I fail and I hurt others. I am sorry for whoever I had hurt during those times. 

I’d say probably one of the most major incidents in the project that really began to the driving wedge was the debate about Varian and the 7 Kingdoms (Vat7K). I am personally never a big fan of the possible spin off, but I do not hate it and I am glad others are able to create content. However, the person in charge didn’t like Vat7K at all. There was a rule within the server that banned posting any OCs that didnt belong to yourself or anyone in the server... which truthfully was just a rule to exclude Vat7K content. (I was foolish and never realized that was the case til it was too late). They wanted to ban 7K entirely and the rest of the leadership including myself didn’t want that. We wanted to encourage others to create content. (The person in charge also did gave a rather terrible comment to another person for posting that content). So, the person in charge gave us a compromise.... essentially they wanted us to blackmail the people who created Vat7K and send hateful emails to them saying they ruined the fandom and other horrible things. It still makes my stomach churn even writing it to this today. I’ll just say the compromise we made wasn’t much better and I was so tired with no sleep and always arguing and yelling that we made a stupid compromise and tried to get opinions from the server. Either way, I do admit I didn’t help despite my best attempts (though I do thank everyone who seemed to realize that I was just trying my best to have a peaceful and civil discussion and resolution. And everyone who checked up on me as a result). This marked the project with a bad stain and many people did leave. 

There were many more smaller incidents that honestly drove many of us up the walls. Too much harsh “critiques” which really was just outright mean, too much involvement where there shouldnt be (and didn’t allow the team leads to do their jobs), not enough guidedance from the people who should be doing their jobs (aka leadership), they didn’t want to credit people for concepts (a thing that i fought so hard about and was so mad about), etc. I was so overworked and tired to compensate for people not doing their jobs and the jobs they continued to pile on me.

This eventually cumulated to where one admin had left the server. Honestly, I do not remember what was quite the reason anymore. But the next part I do remember clearly. I basically was asking (for the millionth time) what is everyone doing and what not. The leader basically said I did nothing for the project and I was livid. For those who know me, I spent so much of my time dedicated to the project and my sleep schedule was nonexistent. I helped whoever I could and always tried my best even if I fallen short several times. I had easily over 30 things I did during the Project... most of it I did at the same time. Heck, I was even doing something for the project at the time we were having that discussion too.  

So, I quit. I cried, I wept. Months of work and my own life that I put into this project was now gone. It was a relief yet I was so upset too. I truly did love the project hoping it to become the project it should of been. 

It quickly became a shitstorm to put it lightly as the other leaders followed suit leaving and tired of the controlling behavior from the person in charge. We were never allowed to voice our own opinions and was constantly fought back. It was terrible. 

We tried to compromise and stating that we come back if the person in charge stepped back and gave the server ownership role to someone else. They would still be allowed to be involved in the project despite the many rules they broken that they set themself. They refused. So, we all left PO permanently.

To make sure the other group leaders weren’t surprised, we notified them ahead of time and already left a link to another project we started. (this is an entirely different story and reasons why I also left that project and the stuff that went down in there) 

PO quickly began to decline and fall out of favor. With that person only running the show, they tried to make it seem like everything was alright... but they were posting personal information about others about reasons why they weren’t participating or to compensate heavily for the many people who left. 

I still got dms about this which I did try to fix or notify them on ways to fix it. 

We even got accusations that we were spreading rumors about PO and how bad it is. (We never did and frankly discouraged any discourse about PO in the server. In fact, I was in another TTS server where they openly stated how they didn’t like PO and admitted to telling others not to join PO. This was by former members of PO- not anyone currently involved in the project or the other project ironically.) 

Then, one day... the discord server of Project Obsidian was deleted suddenly. It disappear. The person in charge had enough and deleted it without warning. 

All that remains is the folders of concepts that never got posted.

So, after ensuring nobody else has access to this blog (aka they left/quit this blog), I have sole custody of it as of right now. I still have access to many of the concepts because the person in charge couldnt delete them.

To which, I want to post all of the wonderful content made by the various of people involved with the project. I hope to credit those who were invovled, though I already know those who do not wish to be credited or be involved at all with the project anymore, hence I will credit them in a different way (aka I’ll give them a unique anonymous credit so you know it was made by one person but not another). 

It will be over a period of time but thank you to everyone who was a wonderful member of the community and for supporting this project. I will be opening the ask box and submission boxes if you have content you wanted to post when you were part of the project. Or if you want to have questions answered and I will possibly answer them as long as I can stay anonymous.

[bougiebutchbitch]

I know the Sak/ura stuff happened hours ago, but I just happened to see it, and I have a couple Thoughts (along the same lines as you & the other anon were talking about - i'm not trying to convince you of my opinions or anything, i'm just casting them out into the world)

When I was first watching the original Naruto series, I honestly thought she was pretty annoying - but in fairness, I thought they ALL were annoying. And that's okay! Because they're all like 13 during that series, and who isn't annoying at that age?? I know I was for sure

But I think the reason I love her is mostly from what she could have been. And I think the scene from the chunin exams where she cuts her hair could've been the perfect turning point, where she could have realized that while she loves sas/uke, she's not IN love with him (no hate to people who ship them, I just don't) and could have moved on to being her own person

And I loved that she was at least slightly more mature during shippuden (and had the first akatsuki kill!!), but it seemed like every time sas/uke was mentioned, she almost reverted back to how she was at 13, and I think that's unfortunate

And obviously everything ends up coming down to the writing and the story, I just think that it's unfortunate how it ended because she seemed to have so much potential, but every time the story provided the perfect opportunity for her to fulfill it, she didn't and I just think it's unfortunate

Now obviously, she's not perfect, and did some kinda fucked up things (the way she treated nar/uto during the academy & while they were genin, and even during parts of shippuden, among other things), but I feel like that honestly gives her more potential or possibility for growth that she never gets

because that's the thing, people aren't perfect, good people do bad things sometimes, and bad people can do good things. Nothing is ever truly black and white

Anyways, I didnt mean for this ask to be so long, sorry about that

Nah that's super valid!

She had so much narrative potential as a character. Sadly, it felt like she was always made to play second fiddle to Naru/to and Sas/uke - whether she was fulfilling the in-universe acknowledged role of 'girl specifically put on a team to make boys fight over her, so the boys can become stronger', or only getting one badass boss fight against Sas/ori, while Nar/uto and Sas/uke have SO MANY AMAZING FIGHTS.

But y'know what? This could've been a REALLY INTERESTING THING TO EXPLORE.

Obviously, it's a bit cringe that so many of the 'main' women in Naru/to are medics (Sak/ura, Shi/zune, Tsu/nade, and In/o, I believe...). There comes a point where it's just feeding into the 'healing and nurturing support-class women' stereotype, even if medics are badass and they can Punch Stuff HardTM.

But if Kishi/moto had truly committed to giving Sakura more screentime and delved deep into what it's like to be a battlefield medic, the trauma of not being able to save everyone, and how she formed her own identity separate to the boys that wasn't centred around fighting... I would LAP THAT SHIT UP.

I mean, sure, she starts a therapy centre in Bor/uto... but I want more on-screen development!

I want her to slowly realise her own self-worth, and stop comparing herself to her two literal god-level teammates!

I want her to make a name for herself among civilians! Of Team 7, she's the only one born to civilian parents, and that's a link I'd love to see explored.

Of course, that's not possible, because Nar/uto is a shonen manga and the focus is always going to be on Wham Bam Big Fight Scene. Sak/ura could've had an incredible arc, but she's hampered both by the writer and the genre. I understand, but I think there were ways that the manga could've kept its shonen feel without doing her character such disservice.

Give me a Sak/ura arc where tensions between civilians and shinobi in the village are rising, and Nar/uto, Sas/uke and Kak/ashi are blind to the problem, because they're all so entrenched in the shinobi world. Give me a Sak/ura arc where she gains her own super badass technique and has her own boss villain to fight. Give me a Sak/ura arc where - maybe even after having Sar/ada! - she starts to question her relationship to Sas/uke and how she acts around him, and starts demanding more respect!

Obligatory note that I haven't watched much of Bor/uto so maybe Sak/ura and Sas/uke have a vaguely healthy relationship now and they've worked out all their issues... idk slkdfjhgksjdg

But just - yeah. She deserved better. As a result, I can understand why people disliked her in the anime, and loved her - for all the reasons you said.

[hwangsies]

LIMERENCE

(n) the state of becoming infatuated with another person

pairing: hyunjin x female reader

summary: you haven’t spoken a word to hyunjin since he ghosted you after a fun new years eve together, so what’s the worst that could happen when fate (or chaeryong,...well, same thing) pairs you up for a road trip across the country?

warnings: e2l (ish), university student!au, non idol!au ,a lot of swearing. alcohol consumption,long flashback, mentions of infidelity, hyunjin is a giggly sweetheart, smut as in: dom!hyunjin, unprotected sex (wrap it up luvs),fingering, oral (f recieving), slight choking, praise kink, hand & strenght kink (manhandleing oopsie), slight overstimulation, hyunjin is really enthusiastic about consent (as you should be, periodt), reader is nervous and scared of hyunjins big pickle (ew i hate myself), motel sex (but it’s not trashy i promise!)

8.6 k words ,meaning grab a snack and a drink,

and enjoy!<3

---

"alright everyone" your professor rubs his hands together "that was it for today... i hope you all have a great break and i'm very exited to see all of you again next semester. hopefully in person again" he chuckles.

You and your classmates exchange goodbyes with him before one after the other exits the zoom call.

"fuck" you sigh after closing your laptop and lean back on your bed.

"you did it girl" your dormmate chaeryong claps, at which you giggle before shifting your eyes to her on the other side of the room.

She's sitting on her bed, folding her clothes before putting it in her suitcase thats placed in front of her.

"finally" you sit up and watch her roll up a pair of socks.

"my last class was yesterday and mrs kim teared up" she giggles "it was kinda cute not gonna lie"

"oh god" you snicker.

"hey did you find someone to take to yongin?" you ask, remebering chearyong talking about wanting to find someone to share gas expenses with in exchange for a ride to her hometown.

"oh yea, i did" she turn to you "i think you know him, seo changbin?"

You furrow your brows in thought, you feel like you've heard of the name.

"he's a music major, one year above us, hes also from yongin" she continues folding a pair of jeans "funny you'd ask actually cause he told me one of his friends was looking for a ride to seoul, isn't that where you're going?"

"Yea i was thinking about finding someone honestly because gas is really fucking expensive if you aint rich" you say, placing your laptop onto your nightstand.

"Mm you aint gotta tell me girl" chaeryong mumbles, folding a sweatshirt.

"so who's that friend?" you ask, stretching out on your bed.

"he's in his grade, hyunjin"

Your neck almost cracks from how fats you whip your head “hwang hyunjin?”

"Oh yea" she points at you "you know him?"

"unfortunately" you huff.

"o-oh, what"s the tea?" your roommate wiggles her brows at which you shake your head.

"nothing much really" you sigh, leaning back again "he's just like the most arrogant and stuck up fuckboy ever"

"wow, well thats not nothing" chaeryong laughs "any reason as to why you think that?"

"you could probably ask any girl on campus and she'll tell you the same" you scoff.

"really girl?" chaeryong squints an eye at you playfully "cause i've only heard of him being hot but never of him being a hoe. And you know i'm the first to know the hot gossip" she winks.

Laughing defeatedly, running your hand through your hair.

"it's just- we hit it off at the campus' new years eve party, like really hit it off- at least thats what i thought"

"oooh spill it spill it" chaeryong leaps over to your bed to sit at the end of it.

"well there's really not much to spill, i gave him my number and he was talking all that smack about taking me out and stuff aaand to make a long story short i never heard from him again"

"well" chaeryong speaks slowly, biting her lip guiltily "i dont think you'll be very happy about me giving changbin your number for him, then?"

"you did what???" your eyes almost pop out of your head.

"sooorryy" she jumps up from your bed, clutching her hands apologetically "i didnt know"

"aaaaarghh" you whine, burying your face in your pillow.

"maybe he won't even text you though" chaeryong tries to console you, but the damage is already done...

-

unknown number - hey i got this number from changbin, i heard you're driving up to seoul, i'd love to tag along if you're looking for someone to share expenses with -recieved at 9:12 am

You huff looking at the message on your phone.

After chaeryong had left last night you really convinced yourself that he couldn't possibly dare to reach out to you.

But here you are reading his message after just waking up, and your day is already ruined.

you - who is this? - sent at 9:56 am

You know who it is, but you're not going to give him the satisfaction of thinking that you do.

Scoffing when he answers almost immediately.

unknown number - this is hyunjin, did i reach the right person? - recieved at 9:57 am

You have two choices at this point.

1. be petty and bitter about a boy who probably doesn't even remember you.

Or 2. move on and help someone who is also just trying to get home and also maybe get some closure.

So you curse your mother for rasing you so well and suck it up.

you - yea sure, i planned on leaving tomorrow at around 6 pm - sent at 10:02 am

Damn you and your common human decency.

he sus - oh okay great :) i only have one suitcase and a backpack btw so i wont take up alot of space or anything - recieved at 10:05 am

he sus - also i feel weird bc i dont know ur name or anything changbin literally just sent me the number and nothing else lol, also 6 sounds good should we meet at the main building then? -sent at 10:06 am

You're quite honestly not shocked that he seems nice over text because he was the same when you met on new years eve.

you - sure lets meet at the main building, my car is white and my name is y/n - sent at 10:09 am

Cringing as you press the send button because you are 99% certain he won't answer anymore; not that you'd care, obviously.

he sus - alright y/n see you tomorrow at 6 then :) - recieved at 10:14 am

You raise your brows when your phone lights up with his message, does he really not remember you?

Was he that drunk?

Well, it doesnt matter because you don't want to pay for all this gas alone and he seems to be the next best option to fix that.

So you shrug it off and get out off bed to run some last errands and start packing.

-

Your heart is beating unreasonably fast when you take a turn towards the main building at 5:55 pm the next day.

Calm down y/n it’ll just be 5 hours and who says you have to talk to him?

However you do know deep in your heart that you only wanted to arrive just a little early so you could complain about him being late.

That plan got cut short because your eyes fall on him as you pull up to the main building.

He’s- oh my god he’s blonde. You stop your car and he looks up at you.

“it is you!” hyunjin smiles at you when you step out of the car.

“who else would it be?” you ask, a little irritated at his reaction.

His face drops a bit when he sees you clearly annoyed by him, but the doesn’t blame you; he’d be mad too.

You open your trunk for him to put his weirdly small suitcase into, looking him up and down as he lifts it inside.

He’s wearing dark baggy pants and a windbreaker jacket, the top part of his chin-length blonde hair is pulled back into a messy ponytail.

He seemed to have bulked up as well, shoulders looking broader than what you remember.

The hair is different than the jet black hair that you remember on him, but it suits him very well; to be honest he would look good in any hair colour, not that you’d care though.

The first thirty minutes of the ride go by agonizingly slow and in complete silence.

When you drive onto the freeway you can’t take it anymore and mumble something among the lines of ‘wanna listen to some music?’.

You don’t wait for an answer, pressing the radio button right as you finish your sentence.

“uh, actually” hyunjin starts, his hand lifting to turn the radio back off, your eyes snap towards him, is he serious? Turning off your radio in your car?

“I wanted to address this situation” he says rather quietly.

You scoff “what? You realized that this is awkward just now?”

“no- I mean- yes I understand why you would think that but I just really want a chance to explain myself” he stutters.

“explain yourself” you repeat after him before mumbling “sure because there’s so much to explain”

“listen, I know you think I’m an asshole who just ghosted you b-“

“listen, I can handle rejection, you could’ve just said that you weren’t looking for something serious and I would’ve accepted that. The thing I’m mad about though is you literally making false promises and shit” 

Hyunjin blinks at you “can I please just explain to you what happened?”

You let out a long huff “sure” you wave your hand “go ahead”

“when you and your friends left at around 4, you wrote your number on my arm with your eyeliner, correct?” he asks.

Glancing over at him, you nod.

“after you where gone, I was already pretty drunk but then my friends decided to drag me with them to a different party that was still going” you see him fiddling with his hands in your peripheral “well I got super fucking shitfaced at that party and ended up puking on this one guys shoes”

You raise your eyebrows and hold back a laugh, which he notices.

“its okay you can laugh” he chuckles as well.

“anyways that guy was not very happy about it and busted my lip before kicking me and my friends out, so then back in the dorm my roommate sat me in the shower because I was full of alcohol, blood and puke”

“ew” you chime in.

“and when I woke up the next morning your number was gone” hyunjin looks over at you “we don’t have any mutual friends, I didn’t know what your major is so I couldn’t even asks for you in the administrating office, and then the covid lockdown happened and here we are”

“you called the administrating office?” you look over at him, he nods a little smile on his stupid pretty lips.

“yep, so, sorry to tell you but your eyeliner is not waterproof” he jokes at which you playfully knit your brows at him.

“believe me, I wanted to text you. I really wanted to take you out; and when you sent me your name yesterday I didn’t know if this was a lucky coincidence or if you’re a different y/n, that’s why I didn’t say anything” he explains.

You take a deep breath as you realize you have to apologize for going off on him just now, you believe him but you hate apologizing.

“well, I feel like an ass for going off on you like that after hearing all this” you chuckle “I’m sorry” you eye him shortly before looking back on the road.

“it’s okay, you don’t have to apologize I get how it looked, very much sus” he laughs with you.

-

Coming back to your car after you took a bathroom break on a highway rest-stop, you see hyunjin sitting in the drivers seat.

“what do you think you’re doing?” you smile as you sit down on the passenger seat.

“I thought maybe you’d like to sleep since its dark already and you’ve been driving for almost 3 hours” he suggests while putting on his seatbelt.

“well, I wont say no to that” you shrug and put your seatbelt on as well.

“so when did you go blonde?” you ask curiously.

“uh- around end of june” hyunjin chuckles “it was a dare if I’m being honest but I ended up liking it and got it redone”

“oh okay” you check out his profile once more and follow his hair with your eyes “I like it”

“yea?”

“yea, which is weird cause I’m usually not into blondes at all” you wonder.

“hm” he grins “must be me then” he says before winking at you.

“pfff, in your dreams” you rebuttal playfully, at which he laughs and mumbles a ‘true’.

You don’t react to it because you think your ears are playing tricks on you.

“hey I have a question too” hyunjin says.

“what’s up” you lean your arm against the window as you look over at him.

His face is slightly lit by the lights of the other cars, no seriously, how can a side profile be so perfect?

“why did you even agree to take me with you if you thought I ghosted you?” he grins.

You laugh “well, I’m a nice person and I know not a lot of people there are from seoul and my mom raised me right, okay?”

“okay okay” he giggles, the way his eyes crinkle when he does makes you smile everytime.

“or…did you have such a good time with me on new years that you just had to jump on this opportunity?” he quips, carefully stealing a peek at you.

“sure, why do you think I was so upset when you didn’t text” you feign sadness.

The both of you laugh before falling into comfortable silence.

When looking outside your window, you think back to said new years eve.

-(flashback)

“oh my god” you said, stepping into the big hall that usually is the universities gym. But whoever planned this outdid themselves.

A dj was placed on one of the tribunes and a whole buffet of drinks and punches on the other, as well as a big disco ball hanging from the ceiling, making the room shimmery and shiny.

You could see people coming out of the doors that connected into the universities hall on one side and into the locker rooms on the others, as if it wasn’t already packed.

“this is fucking insane” lia, your roommate from last semester, squeaked while grabbing your arm and jumping a little, her voice overpowering the blasting music..

“I wanna get fucking hammered tonight” you turned to her.

“oh babe don’t worry,  we didn’t come here to drink soda” she laughed before spotting some of your other friends.

About five minutes before midnight you and some more girls gathered at the buffet of drinks and started doing shots.

You all had decided that instead of kissing someone at 12 o’clock you’d ring in 2020 with a shot, because alcohol can’t cheat on you.

You were laughing at something when some people started the countdown.

10!

9!

8!

7!

6!

5!

4!

3!

2!

1!

“HAPPY NEW YEAR”

Every one shouted and celebrated in union as you downed your shot.

“happy new year babe” lia hugged you after downing hers.

“happy new year!” you shouted into her ear, full of relief that this stressful year was over.

“lets do another one” she grinned widely after your whole friend group had shared their wishes with each other.

A girl you didn’t know very well handed you another shot, just as you emptied your glass you heard a guy yell something before stumbling into your back.

“jesus” you stumbled forward a bit before turning around, ready to throw someone a dirty look.

“I’m so sorry, are you okay?” in front of you suddenly stood a tall dark haired young man with almost too perfect facial features, frowning a little out of concern.

“nothing happened” you smiled, taking a step towards him so he’d hear you better.

“I’m glad” he replied, a grin slowly stretched across his handsome face

“I’m y/n” you giggled as you held out your hand.

His eyes crinkled with his smile as he took your hand in his “I’m hyunjin” he said before pressing a kiss to the back of your hand.

“okay guys let her have her fun lets go over there” you hear lia usher your friends away from behind you.

“happy new year y/n” he said before instinctively pulling you a little closer to him when a group of people passed behind you.

“happy new year hyunjin” you replied, a slow blush creeping on your face from how intensely he was taking in your appearance.

“well yea happy fucking new years to me for running into you” he joked before taking a sip, your brain wasn’t able to function anymore so you just giggled and nervously pushed your hair behind your ear.

It had been way too long since you’d talked to a guy, especially someone as attractive as him

“you’re fucking stunning” hyunjin complimented you and lifted your hand with his to make you spin for him, to which you complied because you took a long time getting ready and always appreciate being appreciated.

“thank you” you were crimson red by now but hoped he wouldn’t see because of the dimmed lights.

“how come I’ve never seen you around? I would’ve remembered you” he tilted his head.

“oh this was my first year here and I live on the other side of campus so…” you nodded slowly “but yea I would’ve remembered you too”

He grinned before downing his drink and putting on the table next to the both of you.

“wanna dance?”

That’s how you found yourself on the dance floor with hyunjin pressed against your back.

Slowly but surely the alcohol made you braver; and it didn’t take long for the dj to play perfect songs to grind yourself against his toned body to.

His reaction was instant, hands gripping even harder at your waist and his own movements matching your own.

You looked back at him just to have the air knocked out of your lungs, a barely there sheen of sweat was covering his forehead; his pupils were dilated and his lips were slightly parted before his tongue swiftly swept over his lower lip.

He looked like sex on legs and moved like it too.

His plump lips formed into a grin when he noticed you staring, you didn’t know if it was the alcohol running through your system but you so desperately wanted to kiss him.

“can’t stop looking at you either, pretty” he lowered his head to mumble against your cheek before pressing a kiss there.

“you’re so goddamn sexy” you blurted out as you turned around to face him, running one of your hands through his dark hair before positioning them on his firm chest.

He threw back his head as his chest vibrated with laughter.

“don’t laugh at me” you laughed as you locked eyes again.

“you’re cute when you’re drunk” hyunjin brought one hand to your face to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.

“you dont even know me sober” you giggle “also i’m not drunk!” you protested playfully, his hands found your waist in the meantime to pull you flush to his body; at which you gasped almost inaudibly.

“oh really?” he looked down at you, clearly amused “didn’t you drink like 5 shots half an hour ago?”

“well well well, I didn’t know I had an audience” you countered, looping your arms around his neck.

Hyunjin prodded at the inside of his cheek with his tongue before looking away for a swift second, slightly embarrassed because he just exposed himself.

You felt yourself gush a little when he licked his lips again after bringing his gaze back to you.

“so you almost knocked me over on purpose?” you grinned even bigger when he shook his head laughingly.

“listen” he chuckled, leaning down unnecessarily close because you could hear him perfectly fine but you weren’t going to complain.

“I actually didn’t run into you on purpose, that was my friends doing after he saw me notice you” he said.

You mouthed an ‘ahh’ while nodding, feigning disbelief.

“I’m serious” hyunjin laughed “I still have to thank him later; I would’ve probably chickened out”

He got quieter at the end of his sentence, his eyes jumping to your lips when you wet your lower lip with your tongue quickly.

“i-m glad he pushed you then” you replied, trying to hide the fact that your heart was pumping your blood in record time.

“yea” he inched his face closer to yours as you tilted your chin up to meet him in the middle “me too”

His eyes switched from your lips to your eyes one more time before closing the gap between the both of you.

His lips were firm but soft at the same time in the way they moulded against yours, you swore you could hear lia squealing from somewhere but maybe you were just hearing things.

But when his tongue touched yours in the most tentative way you lost contact to what was going on around you, slinging your arms tighter around his neck and deepening the kiss.

A tiny groan escaped hyunjins throat when you carded your fingers through his hair to tug on it and release some of the adrenalin that rushed through you.

He was slow and explorative and let you take control from time to time before sucking on your lower lip and making you loose it.

You didn’t know how many songs had passed; to be honest you didn’t even remember what song was playing when you started kissing.

All you knew in that moment was hyunjins lightly flushed cheeks, swollen lips and dark glistening eyes.

“let’s go somewhere else?” he questioned in a whisper when you bit your lip, nodding at his question.

He grabbed your hand in his before manoeuvring the both of you through the dancing and celebrating crowd.

Before you knew it, hyunjin pulled you into the entrance hall of the university where multiple people had the same idea as you.

Couples scattered across the big room, some just talking, most of them however making out heavily.

“come on” he softly tugged at your hand, smiling when your gaze falls on him.

He lead you up the big flight of stairs onto a floor of the building you’ve never been to, stopping in front of a random room before pulling a small set of keys out of his back pocket.

After unlocking the door, he opened it to let you step inside.

It was a dance studio, the wall right across from you was just one huge mirror through which you could see the big couch in the back of the room and the water dispensers next to it.

“why do you have the keys for this room?” you asked, giggling.

Hyunjin grinned as he closed the door “I’m a dance major, we all have keys for the practice rooms”

“that’s so cool” you beamed “I wish I could dance” you looked around the room, walking towards the mirrored wall a little bit.

“you were moving just fine earlier” hyunjin came up behind you, nimble hands finding your waist as he looked you up and down through the mirror intensely, now that you were under the bright lights of the room.

You couldn’t help but to smile a little at that, the tight little glitter dress that you had chosen really did accentuate your curves in the best way possible, paired with the cute black heels which made your legs look way longer than they actually are.

“but that was like club sexy dancing, you know?” you elaborated.

“hm” he hummed amusedly “whats wrong with sexy club dancing?” you turned around to him.

He didn’t look to shabby himself, all in black, a chic button up with some jeans and a belt; accessorized with rings on his pretty fingers, a  dainty silver necklace and some small earrings.

Some might say he was underdressed, but the way he carried himself with such confidence, and that face of his must for sure be a panty dropper, you thought.

“nothing but… I don’t know, teach me something” you pleaded.

“what do you want me to teach you?” he laughed.

“I don’t know a pirouette or something” you suggested, laughing as well.

“okay” he grinned “this is like the base stance” he positioned himself correctly before looking at you to see if you were following his instructions.

“mhm” you hummed, replicating what he was doing.

“and then you get momentum with one leg to be able to swing yourself around, like this” hyunjin explained before executing a perfect pirouette and ending it back in the base stance.

“that was fast” you chuckled.

“your turn” he grins before moving behind you “try to keep your eyes on yourself in the mirror otherwise you’ll loose balance”

“okay” you said unsurely.

“I’ll catch you if you fall” he winked at you, at which you scoff playfully before carefully swinging yourself into a pirouette.

You landed on wobbly legs but before you could tip over hyunjin stabilized you with a firm grip on your hips.

“you’re a natural” he grinned at you through the mirror.

“well thank you” you playfully feigned cockiness before he spun you around himself.

A few seconds pass of the both of you taking in each others features in silence, the only thing you could hear was the faint music of the party downstairs, before hyunjin spoke up.

“can I kiss you?”

You fell into giggles again as you let your forehead rest against his collarbone before looking up again “we’ve kissed before”

“yea but that was like a moment and I don’t want to catch you off guard or anything” he mumbles cutely.

“mm” you nod “ you can kiss me”

And with a smile, he does.

You weren’t surprised when his first gentle ministrations turned into more desperate ones rather quickly because you could feel the warmth spread in your lower regions as well.

He walked the both of you over to the couch, only parting from your lips when he sat down on the black leather material of the couch.

“come here, pretty girl” he took your hand to help you straddle him, your dress riding up but you couldn’t care less if he saw your safety shorts, and he didn’t seem to care either by the way he feverishly connected your lips again.

His hands travelled down to squeeze at your waist before smoothing over your ass and grabbing a handful of each cheek, you moaned into the kiss when you realized how big his hands were.

Your own hands were squeezing at his shoulders before one moved into his soft hair while the other softly rested on his cheek.

The kiss was messy and desperate, teeth clinking together and tongues licking at each other.

The things that riled you up the most however were his groans and praises.

“you’re so fucking sexy” he groaned before moving down to kiss at your jaw and down your neck.

A needy whimper escaped from your throat when he started suckling the sensitive skin at the base of your throat.

“fuck-hyunjin” you moaned when his teeth grazed over your clavicle.

Your hands fumbled before landing on his belt, at which he pulled away from your skin, gently taking your hands off of his belt.

“I’d love to take you out first, actually” his pretty kiss swollen lips twitched up into a shy smile as he pants.

“oh” you were taken aback, you were almost certain that this was something regular for him “I thought-“

“I mean if you just want to fuck we can fuck of course” he chuckled “but- I actually think you’re really cute and fun and I’d love to get to know you better”

Your mouth stood a little agape “uh- I mean-I” you stuttered, your brain not functioning properly because of the alcohol running through your veins but also him!

“its okay if you just want, you know-“

“no!” you blurted out all over sudden, making him flinch a little “sorry, uhm- its just been a while since I had a date” you smile apologetically.

His expression visibly brightens “that’s okay” he giggled “so is that a yes?”

You grinned, leaning in to just barely brush your lips with his, his head twitching upwards in an attempt to connect them fully.

“yes” you whispered, at which he smiled brightly before pulling your in for a kiss by your neck.

-(flashback end)

“y/n”

“hey, y/n” you grumble when you feel someone gently rocking your shulder.

“mmm-what?” you peek your eyes open just to see hyunjin smile at you.

“good morning sunshine” he teases as you sit up in your seat when you realize you aren’t driving anymore.

“just kidding its not morning” he says as you look around your car, realizing your on a parking lot.

“where the fuck are we?” you whip your head towards him “did you bring me here to kill me? kidnap me?”

“wha?- no” he laughs “no, I’m sorry. Right after you fell asleep there was this huge traffic jam because of an accident and we stood there for almost 3 hours so I drove off and found this” he points out the rear window, where you see a small motel building.

You look back at him before checking the time on your phone, seeing it was indeed almost midnight.

“fuck” you swear to yourself.

“I didn’t know if you wanted to keep driving because I was getting tired so I thought maybe-“ hyunjin starts rambling guiltily, not wanting you to thing that this was an attempt to get in your pants.

“hey” you put your hand on his shoulder after taking off your seatbelt “this is good, you made the right decision I think we both could use some sleep” you say.

You each take your suitcases and walk inside, it’s an old building but it looks pretty clean for a motel off of the highway.

“good evening you two” an old lady sits behind the, probably just as old, reception.

“good evening, could we get 2 single rooms, please” hyunjin speaks up politely.

“I’m afraid we only have 2 double bed rooms available, if you’d like to take them, they will however be more expensive than the rooms for one” she explains politely.

“its okay, we’ll take one of those, please” you decide, hyunjins head snapping towards you.

“is that okay?” you ask him.

“yea- sure” he nods.

“alright, room 301 it is” she hands you the key before stating that you’ll have to checkout before 12 pm and what the room costs.

“do you accept card?” hyunjin asks at which the friendly old lady nods before taking his card and swiping it through her little machine.

“I’ll venmo you half of what you paid” you say after unlocking room 301.

He tsk’s at you before shaking his head “don’t, it was my idea so I’ll pay”

“are you sure?” you ask closing the door behind you when he turns on the lights.

“yup-oh” he exclaims.

“this room is cute” you say, it’s small but the walls are a soft sunflower yellow, decorated with paintings of autumn leaves .

The bed looks clean, and when you smell the mouse gray blankets and pillows, they smell fresh as well.

“stop smelling the pillows” hyunjin laughs.

“I’ve never been to a motel, I thought everything would be dirty or ancient” you confess comically.

He chuckles as he comes out of the small bathroom “the bathroom is clean too, don’t worry” he says when you look at him expectantly.

“I’ll sleep on the floor if you want” he offers as you open your suitcase to get out your toothbrush and pj’s.

“it’s fine, hyunjin I’ve slept in the same bed as a male before” you joke.

“well how am I supposed to know that?” he counters, at which you throw your pj shorts at him out of reflex.

When you realize what you had done it was too late, he was already holding them out in front of him before giggling.

“very cute choice” he mocks the small white shorts with red hearts all over it.

“stoop” you whine, trying to fish it out of his hands but he holds them over his head like a kindergartener.

“I remember why I don’t like you” you pout, crossing your arms.

His face drops alongside with his arms “I thought we were past that”

You use his moment of weakness to snatch your shorts out of his hands “gotcha”

-

“see I told you I was gonna take you out” hyunjin beams at you before looking down at the various snacks he took from the motels vending machine, which were laying in between the both of you on the bed.

“and so luxurious too” you joke, crossing your legs.

“only the best for you” he grins when you open a pack of fruit jellies.

“you know, I was thinking about new years” you say “ and I realized that it was your fault!”

Hyunjin throws his head back as he groans playfully “why?”

“if you hadn’t lost your phone when we got back downstairs, I wouldn’t have had to write my number on your arm; or you could’ve just given me your number and I could’ve text you. But you didn’t even know your own number!” you laugh in reminiscence.

“listen” he laughs “I was drunk and you’re hot! I couldn’t think” he defends himself before taking a bite off a chocolate bar.

You blush a little but play it off with a laugh.

“but yes, I admit, it was indeed my fault” he dramatically holds his hand in front of his eyes.

“yeeees!” you exclaim victoriously.

“I’m kidding though” you pat his knee “I forgive you”

“I’m glad” he smiles.

After the both of you are done eating way too many sweets, you find yourself being really comfortable when talking to hyunjin.

He’s funny, doesn’t seem like he’s full of himself and just in general seems like a very kind person.

“I thought you were a fuckboy when me met” you confess, looking at him.

Propped on one elbow looking down at you, while you lay on your side towards him, his face illuminated only by the little lights on each of your nightstands.

“you did?” he asks confusedly.

“yea” you chuckle “you were so confident and…sexy I don’t know” you place your hand over your face in embarrassment.

“oh that was the liquid courage talking, I’m usually pretty shy” he shakes his head smilingly when you peek through your fingers.

“don’t lie” you push his shoulder softly.

“I’m serious!” he laughs.

“you were the first guy to approach me at a party” you pause “like ever”

“no way, you’re lying now” he furrows his brows.

“nope” you shake your head.

“but I was really close to not talking to you as well, I’m sure there were many guys before me that just didn’t have the liquid courage, like I did” he speculates.

“maybe” you say.

“have any exes?” he asks after a few seconds.

“yea, one”

“well how did you meet him?”

“he showed me around on my first day of freshman year, I transferred like in the middle of the first semester so I wasn’t with any other freshmen” you tell him.

“why’d you break up if I may ask?” hyunjin asks carefully.

“oh we were only together for like three weeks, you can’t even call I relationship. He used me to make his hot ex jealous and cheated on me with her” you say “but hey they’re back together at least” you scoff.

“i’m sorry” he mumbles at which you look up at him.

“it’s not your fault” you chuckle.

“well, still no one should feel that way” he says “you know that you were way too good for him right?”

You nod.

“what about you? Have any exes?” you ask back.

He snickers “only one in seoul”

“why didn’t you last?”

“it was a long distance situation, she was super jealous and couldn’t trust me. which I can understand to a certain degree but everytime I went out she wanted me to facetime her and show her what kinds of people were there with me. That was just too much” he explains.

“wow” you chuckle “that doesn’t sound fun either”

Hyunjin shakes his head “nope, but hey we got rid of ‘em, didn’t we?”

“yea” you giggle “plus if I hadn’t broken up with him I would’ve probably never gone to the new years eve party”

“I guess I owe him something then” he grins as you scooch up on the bed.

“can I kiss you?” you ask after a few seconds of silence.

“hm?” hyunjins eyes almost spring out of his head.

“I don’t want to catch you off guard” you grin as you repeat his words from the night you met, sitting up.

He licks his lower lip as a grin stretches over his face as he sits up as well “do your worst”

You get up on your knees to shuffle over to him, when you get close enough hyunjin grabs one of your thighs and lifts it over his legs so you’re straddling him.

Once you sit down on his lap, your eyes lock again and you’re once again baffled as to how someone can be so god damn attractive.

His eyes flicker from your eyes to your lips expectantly, a shaky breath leaving his lips when you lean in.

Your lips connect and it feels like all the pent up energy of liking him since that night finally gets set free, sparks glowing behind your lit and his hands leaving a trail of fire where ever they go.

They squeeze at your thighs and waist, pulling you impossibly close to himself.

A whimper tears from your throat when his tongue licks at yours, he tastes like chocolate and what could only be described as him.

He moans into the kiss when you tug at the blonde locks that weren’t pulled back into the ponytail; before pulling the hair tie out of his hair to free it and finally card your fingers through all of the blonde glory.

Before you realize what’s going on, hyunjin lifts the both of you before dropping you on your back and crawling above you.

The fact that he just lifted the both of you from a sitting position as if you weigh nothing makes you feel all types of hot.

“you’re so hot holy shit” you pant as you push his long hair out of his face.

“ditto” he only grins before attaching his lips to your exposed collarbone and sucking a bruise into the skin.

“take it off” you moan as you tug on the dark blue calvin klein shirt he’s wearing.

His lips release the skin of your collarbone before sitting up to pull the shirt over his head.

If your mouth wasn’t already open from your heavy breathing, you would’ve opened it now because his body is more sculpted and toned than you had expected.

Your hand lifts to smooth over his abs, muscles flexing as he connects your lips again.

His one hand slides from your waist up to cup one of your breasts, gently palming the soft flesh.

“I know I said I wanted to take you out first but-“ he mumbles against your lips.

“you bought me a lovely dinner” you interrupt him, threading your fingers through the hair that’s falling down into his vision.

He grins, dropping a short peck to your lips before his the grin gets wiped off his face “I don’t have a condom with me”

“I’m on the pill” you let him know “I got tested before the lockdown and I haven’t been with anyone since soo…”

“yea, me too, I was tested a few months ago” he nods.

You nod back, biting your lip as you absently play with his hair.

“do you trust me?” hyunjin asks, observing your demeanour.

“yea- yea I do I’m just nervous” you smile awkwardly.

“no” he coos before kissing you “why are you nervous?”

“just haven’t been with anyone for a while” you confess.

Hyunjin nods understandingly “if you don’t want to do this we’ll stop”

“no I really want to” you look into his eyes as confidently as you can.

“okay” he smiles, planting his lips on yours again.

“can i?” his voice gives you goosebumps when he mumbles against the sensitive skin under your ear, his fingers slowy undoing the loose knot of your heart shorts.

“yes” you say when he locks eyes with you.

“I love these shorts” he softly presses a kiss to your knee, trying to calm your nerves a little, before he gently rocks your hips to pull them off of you.

You blush a little out of embarrassment but smile when you lift your hips to help him.

“cute” he whispers when he see’s your panties have a little bow on the front.

He chuckles when you hide your face in embarrassment, pulling you closer to him again by your thighs before you let him kiss you again.

“can I take this off too?” hyunjin whispers, softly pulling at the fabric of the tank top you’re wearing, at which you nod.

You are still wearing a bra when he pulls it off so you take it into your own hands and unclasp your bra.

Your nipples stiffen a little at the sudden exposure to air, as well as to hyunjin’s admiring gaze.

“fuck” he muses when palming your breasts in his big hands, gently pushing them together an running his thumbs over your nipples.

A whimper involuntarily leaves your lips when he wraps his plump lips around one of the perked up nubs and sucks gently.

“so fucking pretty, princess” you feel yourself pathetically clench around nothing at his praise.

You feel one of his hands wander downwards to provide some friction for you, he slots his lips against yours when you tentatively roll your hips against his hand.

Hyunjin feels his cock get even harder when an almost desperate moan tumbles from your lips against his. So he ads a little more pressure and starts circling your clit with two fingers, your sighs of pleasure mixing into the kiss.

“you’re so sensitive baby” he whispers as he parts his lips from yours “can I go down on you?” he grazes his lips over your chest, looking up at you seductively.

You nod as you bite your lip, hyunjin placing a few kisses on your tummy before shortly sitting up to also free you from your soaked panties.

The first stripe he licks up your slit, and how he swirls the tip of his tongue around your clit expertly sends you to heaven.

His hands are gripping your thighs to prevent you from closing your legs, your hands are tangled in his hair and the sheets.

“hyunj-fuck” you cry out when his tongue enters you.

He carefully prods one finger at your entrance “is that okay?” he asks, his voice hoarse and dripping with lust.

“yea” you sigh.

Once you adjust to one finger, he adds a second one, curling them upwards to search for that specific patch inside of you.

“yes-fuck right there” you moan when his fingers press onto the sweetest spot inside of you, tugging at his hair a little harshly. But you feel him moan against you, getting lost in your taste as he sucks your clit in between his soft lips.

Your hips buckle against his mouth as your eyes roll backwards, feeling the warmth of your orgasm approach rapidly.

“fuck fuck yes-hyunjin” you cry out just before he tipped you over the edge with his skillful ministration, your orgasm rushing up your spine and into your head, endorphins spreading everywhere.

A cry of pleasure fills the room as your thighs starts trembling with the aftershocks, clamping around his head when he drives you into overstimulation.

“oh-shit-“ you pant as you softly pushed on his forehead to get him away from your clit, his fingers still inside you, guiding you through your high.

He nibbles on your inner thigh apologetically. You can still hear your heartbeat in your ears after hyunjin removes his fingers from you and sits up, gently holding your legs together to help you calm down.

“fuck” you mewl, a soft smile tugging at his lips.

He’s wanted to do this for so long and there you are, with all of your naked glory in front of him.

While he’s daydreaming about you, you sit up and start fiddling with his sweatpants.

“you want more?” he quips, once he realises what you’re doing, leaning in to kiss you.

“mhm” you humm into the kiss affirmitavely when his hand holds you close to him by your jaw.

With a quick last peck to your lips he simultaneously shimmies the soft black sweats and his boxers off of himself.

You apparently visibly gulp at the sight of his cock because hyunjin smirks cockily “like what you see?” as he crawls above you again, his lips finding yours again and not waiting for an answer.

“I don’t know if you’ll fit” you mumble when he suckles at the soft nook of skin under your ear.

“we can stop here” he offers softly before locking eyes again.

You shake your head as you reach down to fist his length, slowly pumping it and smearing the few drops of precum around.

“no, you’re just really big” you huff with a shy smile on your lips at which hyunjin groans.

“you’re gonna be the death of me, you know?” he mutters against your lips before kissing you deeply, his hand smoothing over the slope of your waist before coming up to gently pinch at one of your nipples.

Eliciting a soft high pitched moan from you, this only spurs him on.

Rolling his tongue against yours desperately and making you taste yourself before sinfully sucking at the wet muscle.

All the while you’re stroking him with your small hand before cupping his balls, as if he didn’t already feel like he’s gonna blow his load way too early.

“please” you whine, guiding his reddened tip towards your entrance.

Hyunjin releases a shaky breath before replacing your hand with his, rutting his hips against yours a few times, coating his length in your wetness.

This already had your toes curling, suppressing a whine as you lock your legs around his waist.

“tell me if it hurts, yea?” he breathes, only pressing inside you after you nod, dropping a kiss to your swollen lips.

“fuck” he swears softly, tucking his face in the crook of your neck when he breaches your tight walls for the first time.

Your fingers tighten in his hair at the back of his neck when a subtle sting flares up inside of you.

“ah-“ your body flinches a little when he presses further inside, hyunjin notices, observing your expression before kissing your cheek and sitting up slowly.

“you’re doing so good, baby” he lifts his thumb to his lips, swiftly kitten-licking the digit before bringing it to where your bodies join.

Gently rolling your clit under his thumb to distract you from the pain.

“you look so perfect like this” his other hand travels over your stomach to gently squeeze at your breasts “all spread out for me”

You whimper, arching your back when hyunjin thrusts into you carefully; the pain slowly subsiding and the ache to be fully filled up by him growing exponentially when his cock rubs against your g spot.

“hyunjin” you moan, gripping onto his hand, which is resting atop your breast.

“yes baby, I’m here” he groans at how tight you feel once he’s balls deep inside of you, abandoning your clit to grab you by the hips for leverage.

His other hand resting on your cheek now, after a few trusts you moan “harder, please”

Hyunjin groans and fulfils your wish, at one particularly harsh thrust, you latch your lips around his pointer and middle finger, sucking at them.

“oh my god-that’s so fucking hot” he grunts through clenched teeth.

His cock dragging along your walls deliciously, filling you up to the brim as you hum around his slender fingers in pleasure.

“you like my hands that much baby?” his jaw is clenched and the grip on your waist is rough , the contrast to how sweet he was just a few minutes earlier had you clench around him furiously.

“fuck-“ he breathes when you nod to the best of your abilities, eyes wide open and holding his gaze.

You only release his fingers from in between your lips in favour for a loud high pitched moan when his other hand finds your clit again, rubbing harsh circles into the bud.

“-gonna cum-huynjin” you dig your nails into his biceps, eyes squeezing shut.

“yea?” he grits through his teeth the fingers that were previously trapped in your mouth now wrapping around your bared throat.

Not squeezing tightly, just resting there as if to show you that you’re his now.

Your thought gets confirmed when he rasps “you’re gonna date me after this, right pretty girl?”

You do look so pretty right now, tits bouncing and skin slapping because of the fast rhythm that he’s snapping his hips into yours, not to mention the subtle sheen of sweat that’s coating the both of you.

A desperate breathy chuckle tumbles from your lips “ yes-yes fuck” you feel your second orgasm creeping up on you.

“cum for me princess, all over my cock” he urges you on, his tip hammering into the sweet spot inside of you repeatedly before you crash into your second high of the night.

Your body convulses in pleasure as you call out his name mixed with profanities, your toes curling so hard you’re not sure if you can ever uncurl them again, and your nails probably leaving painful indents in his skin.

His thumb on your clit slows down until you grab his hand for him to stop, his hand around your neck grabs your free one, holding both of your hands over your head now.

“so good, baby” he mumbles, kissing your lips; mostly just breathing into each other as he rocks you through every wave of your orgasm.

Hyunjin looses himself in you not long after with a guttural moan and his eyes squeezing shut.

You coax him through it when he rests his face against your neck again, running your fingertips through his damp hair and over his broad back, muscles tensing under your gentle touch.

i“don’t fall asleep on me” you whisper sneakily, grinning when he chuckles against your neck, tickling the soft skin there.

He props himself up again to scan over your features, pushing some hair out of your face before kissing you tenderly.

“you okay?” his hand resting at your temple as he gently runs his thumb over your hairline.

“more than” you assure him, cupping his cheeks to pull his lips onto yours again.You think you can never get enough of his lips, anything about him for that matter; not when he makes you feel so cared about and safe.

“so does this mean we’re dating now?” he whispers after he has cleaned you up and tucked the both of you in bed.

“hmh” you nod your head sleepily, positioned on his bare chest.

“so I can spoon you once we fall asleep?” he asks, grin evident in his voice.

“you can spoon me but you can’t wake me up in the middle of the night if you get horny” you mumble jokingly, enjoying his fingers running down your spine as your eyelids get heavier.

“okay” he giggles softly, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head before you whisper your good nights to each other.

And as promised, he doesn’t wake you up in the middle of the night because he’s horny.

It’s you who wakes him, because after 10 months of wasted time, you have a lot of catching up to do.

-

a/n: oml this is my first ever long fic so pls pls pls give me feedback, i had so much fun writing his even though it made me feel even more single but hey :))))

allsooo i waited til after work to publish this and i just saw i hit 500 followers?!?!?! thats crazy to me omg i started this like 2 months ago and so many ppl liked my stuff so much that they decided to follow me?? so i just wanna say thank u thank u thank u for hitting the follow button even though im very unorganized and everything i do is spontaneaous and not thought out well. but hey i guess there is a reason that u followed me so thank u!

(i’d love if u sent me an ask with the first one of my writings that u stumbled across, and how <3 ...only if u want tho no pressure) 

anyways thank u so much for reading if you’ve made it this far! i hope you have a great day/ night! much love

-aj

(this is a work of fiction and does not represent the real actions of stray kids or hwang hyunjin)

[gb-patch]

Ask Answers: March 30th, 2021- Part 1

We’ve been really focused on getting the Step 3 DLC done and keeping up with asks kind of got away from me, aha. Thank you for waiting for a reply! We’re still definitely behind, but here’s a good chunk of responses!

I love Our Life so much but if the release of the step 3 dlc is in April, please don't "release" it on April 1, my poor heart can't take that prank 😭

Don’t worry! I’m horrible at pranks, haha. When we do post something specifically for April Fool’s it’s always to pretend it’s a joke when in reality it’s something we’re actually planning to do. But we don’t have anything like that arranged for this year. Any posts on April 1st will just be like normal.

Omigod, can you end the game in love with Cove but not in a relationship? My character stayed calm at the restaurant and Cove slept over at her home and I think I may have missed it. I'm delirious if I did, may never stop laughing. The children are idiots 

Haha, yes, it is possible to be in love and still not get into an actual relationship. There’s no forced ending where the two are made to confess their feelings and accept, it’s all optional/avoidable.

How can you see the new main character cut-in images? I'm not trying to be rude, but, all of my playthroughs, but I haven't seen them yet. (I know you can go through an entire game without seeing them, but I have went through multiple games.) 

It’s a bit of a spoiler to say here, but you can check out the guide we posted on Steam HERE!

Is it possible to win first place in the library quiz with Lizzy (Step 1 DLC) 

Yep, it is! Someone made a guide for the answers HERE (it’s also on Steam). We probably shouldn’t have required a perfect score to win a children quiz, but oh well, haha.

Hello!

In the future (in step 4) can you marry Cove even if you are friends? I would love to have a platonic wedding with him!

I’m afraid not. As much as he cares for the MC when they’re besties, Cove would only really want an official marriage if it’s based on romance.

Hello! I bumped into Our Life randomly last month, and it is one of the best coincidences I have ever laid on. I love how the choices and little details in the story changes throughout the game, and I'm excited to keep supporting you! I'm absolutely in love with Cove and would like to ask what keeps him to be especially interested in the MC? Other than how you can choose what fondness level you have with him, what ultimately leads him to be in sync with us? Sorry if it's a little much & thank u! 

Cove likes the MC because, regardless of the different personality traits you can give the MC, they meet him on his level, listen to him, understand him (even if you’re indifferent and not really close the MC still gets where he’s coming from), and if you’re fond/crush/love than you’re there for him. He finds the MC someone he can respect, trust, and, if they’re close, feel safe with. I’m glad you enjoyed the game!

hi there! for xoxo droplets i see the that female pronouns are used in the description, in the actual game can you change the pronouns or are they stuck as female? i'm aware the game is free, but i have a bad habit of buying dlc's before playing the game so it would be helpful to know before i spend money on it. if anything i'll save that money for more our life dlcs when they come out :D

XOXO Droplets does have a set MC. It’s the story of a specific person rather than a game about making your own story. All of our games prior to Our Life were about exploring MCs that were fully fleshed out people in their own right, so you can’t get the OL experience from what we did before. But we do plan to do more custom-style MCs going forward from here!

For the our life nsfw dlc, will you have to be in the patron to have it or  will there be another way for people who really support the game but can't pay to get it? 

I’m afraid not. We might put it up for sale somewhere other than Patreon someday (though never on Steam or Itch) since we know not everyone can use that site, but it will still cost money on any other hosting page we use. It’s unfortunately not a piece of content we can give away for free.

Hello! I finally got to play Xoxo Blood Droplets and it mentioned about a DLC coming out soon. Is it already out or are you still planning it?

We are still planning to finish it when we can, we just had to put it on hold because 2020 was a tough year and we needed to put all our focus on Our Life. There’s some of the extra DLC stories available for beta testing on the Patreon.

Is there a link to the soundtrack for Xoxo Blood Droplets? I really like the music in this game! 

That’s not available yet, but we’ll probably put it up for sale once the rest of the stories are done.

Would there be any chance for XOXO Droplets OSTs to be released in the future? (Please take my money-) 

We might! There are some things we wanna do and fix before we really start advertising XOXO Droplets things again, but hopefully it all comes together.

Why does Cove dislike Shiloh so much despite all of Shiloh's efforts to get along? I can understand his dislike for Lizzie, but why Shiloh? 

They met under bad terms (with an arranged play date he had no choice in), Shiloh’s sort of pushy himself when it comes to trying to get along, and Cove thinks he’s just kind of unusual in how he interacts/reacts with people. They don’t click, basically.

Is there a way to have your character be a tsundere? And have Cove toughened up a bit due to that? Sorry if the is a stupid question! ^^;

Maybe? The options in the game aren’t based on those types of personality tropes and I don’t know them well enough to say if you can accurately find a way to make it work with the available options. But it’s not a stupid question, I’m sure plenty of other people have considered something similar c:

do voiced names work only with their exact spelling? cause my mc is called Sophia and one of the voiced names is Soffia so i was wondering but if only works like that it's fine (sorry if i made any mistakes, english isn't my first language) 

“Voice” and “text” are separate! You can pick the “voice” you want and then type in whatever “text” you prefer. And your English is really good.

Will OL:NF be based on a season/break like the first game? Or some other type of setting? 

Our Life: Now & Forever takes place over the full course of Autumn. So, the start of school and then into the fall holiday season type of time period.

Will we ever see a jealous cove😭😭 please im begging u- 

Only in small ways, really. Sadly, I’m just not someone who enjoys jealousy in stories and therefore I don’t know how to implement it in a way that feels enjoyable. Maybe I’ll figure out a angle I can work with in future projects.

Do you have any plans with Our Life once step 4 has been released along with step 3's DLCs? 

After the Step 3 DLCs and Step 4 we’ll be releasing the Cove wedding DLC, the Derek romance DLC, and then the Baxter romance DLC. The project will likely be considered fully complete at that point.

Hello, I just needed to first of all sat how amazed I was when I discovered this game. I thought I would be disappointed by the lack of love interests, but you worked so hard to make sure Cove is the Best Boy for so many different people!! It really has been my comfort game for a while now, and I think all the different choices you allow make it the best romance game I’ve played in my life. The only problem is now my expectations for love are Cove level, and no one can live up to that. You’ve put so much consideration to make this game super inclusive and I think it’s amazing. If I can ask, for the exclusive NSFW Patreon dlc, will it only be available for the month it comes out? Or could I become a patron months later and still be able to download it. I just don’t have a job right now otherwise I would LOVE to subscribe to your Patreon and definitely will once I have the money again!! Thank you so so much for making such a lovely game that’s brought me so much joy.

&

Hiya! I'm so sorry for sounding like a complete degenerate for asking, but will the nsfw moment on patreon still be available even if i'm not a patron of the month it comes out? (e.g. i didnt pay/join the necessary tier before the moment is released) Thank you for your hard work on OL, I really connected with Cove in a way I never anticipated.

Thank you very much for such kind words! The Patreon DLC will be up for download on the Patreon indefinitely once it’s done. Just like the normal DLCs, you can pay to get it whenever you like but it won’t be up for sale until it’s finished. So take all the time you need.

Sorry to bother you guys, but there was an earlier ask detailing the OL LI's love languages and I was just wondering- Would that be for them personally, as in what they do, or the love language they enjoy receiving the most? Because I know for some people it's different for both on giving and receiving and was a bit confused, haha. Sorry for the trouble, your games are really nice!

For Cove and Derek it’s what they like to receive and what they give. For Baxter, it’s what he likes to get. What he gives is tailored to his partner. He’s flexible that way~ And it’s no trouble.

asking (and also fanning... fanboying? fangirling? fanpersoning? screw it- from a distance) anonymously because my confidence is nonexistent.

will you be doing a kickstarter for our life: now and forever? i know it's probably been asked and mentioned before, but will you be doing a kickstarter akin to the one done for our life: beginnings and always? if so, will you be doing similar tier rewards? (if you guys do so, i will [politely] throw my money at you).

now, to the fan.. personing? FAN. uhm. to the part where this anonymous agender idiot will begin to act as the fan they are.

THE GAME IS SO. SO NICE. IT'S CUSTOMIZABLE. I'M REALLY HAPPY ABOUT THAT PART. AAAAA I ALSO ENJOY THAT YOU GAVE US THE OPTION TO JUST STAY BEST FRIENDS OR SOMETHING A8DBAIHEW- AND YOU INCLUDED AROS AND ACES IN THAT SEXUALITY CHOOSING PART- aaaAAA AND YOU MADE ELIZABETH FILIPINO- THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR CREATING SUCH AN INCLUSIVE GAME!!!

to summarize; will you be doing a kickstarter? and thank you for creating such a nice game. i, and likely the majority if not all of those who have played the game, am thankful.

Aw, thanks <3! I’m so happy it was such a nice experience for you. We are planning on having a Kickstarter for Our Life: Now & Forever. It’ll have similar rewards to the Our Life: O&A Kickstarter, but some changes will have to be made. Like, we’ll definitely need to increase the rate for getting a voiced name. Originally it was $3USD, which was super low for how much work it really took to add in a customized piece of voice acting, aha. Live and learn.

So sorry if you've already answered this, I looked but I couldn't find anything. Is the 18+ DLC coming out alongside the Step 3 DLC, or do they have different development timelines entirely? I'm so excited for all the DLC coming out in the future, and even though the release dates aren't out, I'm already counting down the days. :)

They have different development times and will come out separately. Despite taking place in the same Step period, they’re disconnected pieces of content and making progress on one doesn’t mean the other is closer to being finished. The normal Step 3 DLC is releasing first. It’s great to hear you’re looking forward to them!

Hey!! I'm absolutely LOVING Our Life! I have been pondering on one question though, what's Cove's ethnicity, if there is a set one? Or is it something we can Headcanon? 

&

hi hi! i wanted to say first of all that i absolutely adore our life. it's one of my favourite games of 2020, and i think it was just the perfect dose of positivity we all needed, even if you didn't intend to release it during such a hectic year lol! secondly, i wanted to say: if it's alright to ask, what ethnicity is cove? :-0 and what about his parents? i was just curious about it ^^)/ thank you!!

Cove’s mom, Kyra, is white. But his dad’s, Cliff’s, race doesn’t come up and players are able to headcanon it. So Cove is half white and half whatever you prefer Cliff to be! 

hello! there was a post on the patreon where you can run your fingers down cove's chest in errands - how do you get that scene? ♥ 

That was an old mistake on my part- you can only get that scene in the Ending rather Errands. You have to leave the big family dinner at the restaurant to go into the car, be dating Cove for a while, have Cove come see you there, and then mention using your hands when Cove makes a joke about hands.

in baxter’s dlc, is there any point where you can tell him about the previous renters of the condo? 

You can talk to him about that in the normal Step 3 DLC!

—– —– —– —–

Thank you for all the interest in our games everybody :D

We released a new FAQ! It answers common questions and we’ll keep adding more to it. Please check there before sending an ask. FAQ   Also, if you prefer to just see the main posts without all the asks/reblogs, feel free to follow our side account instead: GB Patch Updates Blog

[clownmoontoon]

viv did apologize for the stuff she did in the past, but her show still has plenty of mistakes. the only gay character is shown as a sex and drug addict, and violent person, and he’s also drawn to look transphobic. the only latina character in the show is shown as stereotypically angry and snappy, and she’s also “protective over the white girl” ( AND she’s a lesbian with a name similar to “vagina”). there’s also “i don’t touch the gays” viv apologized for the past but she continues to be awful.

OKI I TOUCHED ON SOME OF THESE IN OTHER ASKS BUT I WASNT SUPER SPECIFIC SO LETS GO ONE BY ONE \OUO/

ANGEL

angel is a sex worker not a sex addict, theres a big bIG difference!! someone who has a lot of sex and talks about sex/makes sex jokes isnt a sex addict. they might be a slut but angel doesnt do anything for free so hes probably not that either! ALSO WE DONT SLUT SHAME ON THIS BLOG!! if ppl wanna do the do w lots of ppl thats their choice!

i dont think hes a drug addict either, when his drugs got ruined he seemed irritated but not like.. on the verge of a breakdown.  

an addict wouldnt say “aw dammit” and then move on, theyd be a wreck. 

be careful not to play it too fast and loose with terms like “addict”, thats a mental disease not a character quirk. 

angel definitely does drugs but based on what we know from one episode it just seems recreational (not saying its a good thing obv but this is hell so drugs are easy to get)

“drawn to look transphobic”…..im…incredibly confused how u came to that conclusion. vivzie draws lots of male characters skinny and if theyre furry (meaning literally covered in fur, not necessarily anthro) they have some chest floof! alastor, pentious, and other skinny male charas have almost the same body type but since theyre not as furry they wont have the floof! angel is just the floofiest boy! 

also said this in another ask but angel is not trans and im not sure why ppl keep thinking he is?

an effeminate male character =/= trans

a trans guy CAN BE effeminate but the two are NOT mutually exclusive and if u think so pls ..dont ldslkjds

VAGGIE

im seeing the “angry latina” thing spread a lot about vaggie and tbh i didnt get that at all from the show? shes kind and caring and when it comes to charlie shes incredibly soft ;; she gets angry in situations that well…anyone would get angry! 

“protective of the white girl” also feels like a stretch, charlie is her girlfriend! its not “the white girl” shes protecting, its the gf! if youre upset about a latina dating a white girl then…unfortunately thats a little racist of you,,,

a mixed race, gay, female couple AND THEYRE THE MAIN CHARACTERS?? thats pretty damn awesome if u ask me ; v ;

im latina and i didnt find her character offensive at all tbh i thought she was cool and i rlly dig her design!

and even with angel, a character that does and says insulting things to her to make her mad on purpose, she still takes time to explain things to him about how what hes doing is wrong or about things he doesnt understand

ALSO HER NAME IS A NICKNAME SLKLDKS i mentioned that in another ask too, only charlie calls her that and im p sure we all know her real name isnt vagina

LASTLY,

“i dont touch the gays” was said by a character we as a viewer are supposed to Not Like

SOME TIMES VILLAINS DO VILLAINOUS THINGS, antagonists will antagonize..

im mostly posting this for other ppl who may not know what to say/might need help defending why they enjoy this show when asked similar things , but if you truly feel this way about it then its ok not to watch or find enjoyment in it!

i dont think vivzie is awful but if you do thats entirely your right. we simply disagree! \ouo/

[hydraberry-ash]

Just my random my thoughts on a head cannon: As Tommy listens to Chirp, he only has the faintest memories of him and a woman named Clara. He doesn't know where Clara came from, but the music and the name sounds familiar...

Long, long ago, there was the universe. Clara is the overwatcher of the Minecraft Universe, and she always see players finishing then logging off to do their own thing.

But there was a particular man who didnt do that, He beat the game, but then stayed, and created a whole world to himself.

That man was Philza Minecraft, with his light blond hair, his frosty blue eyes, and the dark feathered wings on his back.

Curious, she changed her original looks, a deity with purple-ish skin and glowing blue eyes with dark blue it was nearly black hair, that sparkled like stars and went down to her ankles, if she had any. Her gown was the sky itself.

She changed to a player, a woman with warm brown skin, and dark chocolate brown hair that went to her shoulders. Her eyes were dark blue, like lapis. She was kind, and tender.

She visited Philza, and they got along nicely. The bestest of friends, as he showed her his creations and his work.

*Tommy's origin*

As she continued to watch over the universe from up above, she was always fond of this one little star. It was small, yet it shined brighter than all of the other stars across the sky.

Everytime she witnessed something heart broken, she would always see the little star by her side, glowing so brightly, so passionately. She loved the star so.

But then one day she noticed the little star was beginning to go out. The light was still bright, but was beginning to dim, to her dismay.

Before the last moments of the star's life, Clara took the wisps of the star, and created little Tommy. With his bright golden hair, eyes bright blue like the clear oceans, and already the signs of his cheerful personality, Clara loved the little star.

Hugging the little bright one, she would play Chirp, and smiled down on the giggling baby, feeling all the love in the whole world.

~~~~

But due to unfortunate circumstances, Clara, even though she didn't want to, had to give Tommy up. Crying tears of stars, little Tommy looked at Clara's face, curious, his tiny hands reaching out to touch her wet purple cheeks.

That only made her cry stars harder.

Changing into her human form, she went down to Philza.

She already met the twins, though later in life they won't remember her anymore, as she set a little bit of magic on them of slowly loosing her appearing in their memories, even Phils. Though, for Tommy, he was only a baby, of course he wouldn't remember much.

"Clara? How are you-! Oh.... who's that little one?" Philza looked down on Clara's arms, the tiny bundle of blond hair.

"This... this is Tommy... my little star child," Clara painfully smiled. "I... Phil, can you do me a favor?"

"What can I help you with, Clara?" Phil asked, softly smiled back. Then Clara softly pushed Tommy into his arms, as Phil held him in surprise. "Why are you giving me Tommy?"

"I- I have to go... Please, promise me Phil, to take care of Tommy for me," Clara smiled, trying to stay strong. Phil could see the pain in her blue eyes, and solemnly nodded.

"For you Clara, I will do anything to help. When will you be back?" Phil asked, as Clara shook her head.

"I... I don't know. It might take ages, Phil. But my biggest concern, right now, is you, seriously promising me that you will take care of my little star."

“Of course I will, Clara," Phil smiled, his eyes crinkling. Clara smiled back, as tears started to form in her eyes. For a last goodbye, she hugged Phil, and gving one last kiss on Tommy's forehead, the soft blond hair brushing against her, made her feel more pain...

Before she could cry, she waved goodbye, as she quickly headed off, leaving Phil alone in the sunset with a little sleeping Tommy.

*The Twins*

One day, Phil traveled across the vast nether, searching for the huge bastilles of where the pigmen live.

Nearly missing a jump, he felt his feet get caught against a chest.

Though, it was a box. A rundown box, nearly torn, carried a small pigchild. And... a boarchild? Twins, perhaps?

The pig child made a little snarl at Phil, protecting the board child, who was sleeping peacefully.

"What have we got here?" Phil picked up the small pig child, who was thrashing, violently, trying to escape Phil's clutches.

Phil could only smile, already feeling a kind of fondness towards the pig child. He looked down at the sleeping boar child, curious on where the children came from. "ho... would you both like to come with me?"

The pig child could only make confused pig noises, slightly calming down, but still trying to get out of Philza's grip. It stared in curiosity at Phil's frosty blue eyes. Phil could only stare back, softly smiling.

Taking both of them with him, he introduced him to the overworld, and to Clara, who was visiting Phil, surprised at the two in Phils arms. (This was before Tommy, when both were like 3). The boar child still sleeping, but the pig child's red eyes, curiously staring at her.

*The Current SBI*

As Phil stared at the little bundle in his hands, he could see how he might be peculiar. His hair glowed bright, and as Tommy opened his eyes to see a stranger, Phil could see the bright blue as well.

And his personality was certainly something.

Because Phil's ears bled after the screaming cry of Tommy.

Trying to calm Tommy down, Phil tried in every single way to calm the child, but nothing worked.

Until he saw the little note Clara attached to Tommy's blanket.

*For when my little star cries, play Chirp, it will help*

Confused, Phil carried Tommy to where he put his jukebox at, searching for the disk. Desperate to not let Tommy burst his eardrums out until he goes deaf, he quickly played Chirp.

It did help, calming Tommy down, until he stopped crying completely

Phew, Phil thought, grateful for the disk.

Carrying the now calm Tommy, he called for Techno and Wilbur, who came down the oak stairs

"Boys! Come meet a new sibling!"

"Oh! Who is it!?" WIlbur happily cheered, as Techno could only groan.

"You know, I was hoping for, maybe a snack or something, not a new sibling."

As they gathered in the main living room, the twins stared at little Tommy.

Phil worried Tommy was going to cry again, but surprisingly, Tommy didn't.

He only stared back at them, curious. Wilbur awed, reaching a finger out to Tommy. Tommy grasped it with his little hands, curious, before rubbing his cheek against Wilbur's finger, making a little cooing noise.

Techno didn't do anything, only skeptical on what or who that child is. Tommy's attention was now back at him, and it somehow made him nervous.

He didn't exactly glare at Tommy, but he could only blankly think on what to do next.

In a kind of nervous pressure way, he turned into his pig form. He didn’t mean to, but he didn’t know how to control his shape-shifting yet. Phil could only gasp, hoping that wouldn't cause more ear pain from Tommy.

But Tommy could only giggle, reaching his small hands out at Techno's pig ears, yanking it. It was painful, but Techno could only focus on Tommy's bright expression and joyful laugh, a bit shocked the little gremlin like thing in front of him isn’t scared of him, and his nervousness melted away by the laughter.

In a small crowd, the family could only smile, and welcome the new member...

(When Phil met them, they were in their humanoid form. When they both met Tommy, they were fully in their human form.)

Hoped you liked reading this though it’s a bit wonky...! *Adding to this, a small playlist I found that I feel fits for this post: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JdAdFBMbLYg

[words-for-holland]

Christmas Admirers Teaser |T.H.

Pairing: Fratboy!Tom x Reader

Summary:  Tom Holland and Y/N have never crossed each other’s paths in the 3 years of their college career. but can a silly letter change all that? 

Loosely Inspired by Dash & Lily and every other cheesy Hallmark Christmas Rom-Com Movie out there. 

A/N: This wont be a series but this story is going to be really long when it’s done but tbh not sure if Im really like how its coming...Ha...ha.. But I’ll still do a taglist for this when it’s completed so feel free to add yourself if you’d like.

Taglist

Wanna Play a Game?

All it took was one bright red letter and four words to intrigue the most beloved, foreign exchange student of New York University, Tom Holland. If his name sounds familiar to you, then you already know the answer to the question that just popped in your head. Yes, not only was Tom Holland a well renowned actor, he was also a student exploring the wonders of college along with his best friend Harrison. Some say he was only attending to prepare for a role, others say he did it to have his fun with sorority girls, and a very small percentage believed he was actually trying to get his degree in theater. Whatever the reason, college life suited him well, being the head of the Beta Gamma Sigma Fraternity, living the bachelors life with a new girl around his arm every week, but it was all the same...until he found that red letter sticking out of an abandoned shelf in the Potter’s Library.

He remembered it clearly, the day he found it. Tom had reluctantly arrived at the Library assuming his mates would be there to actually study for an exam they had this upcoming week. Lord knows if they didn’t pass this final with at least a C this semester, they would surely relive the nightmares with Professor Gonpu in the next. Yet to no surprise, none of them came and ditched last minute as the pool of messages started to flood his phone.

“Great.” Tom muttered to himself as he took a seat at the far right corner of the library. The area was empty, and as he slouched on the wooden chair and pushed it back, the boy hadn’t realize how close to the empty shelf he was. With a single thud, came a small red letter floating above and gently making its way down to his lap. The inviting words peaked his interest, and while he checked both front and back for a name, the letter should have been addressed to...there was none. He unfolded it and read it to himself.

Do you want a play a game?

You seem like the type of person that has nothing better to do, so let’s make it a little more interesting. I wont tell you who I am, but if I deem you worthy...I just might.

Still with me?

I’ll give you five clues to figure out this location. Everything you need is here in the Library. And...if you even think about using that phone, you might as well put this letter back where you found it. After all.. you’re in a library and it’s got all the information you need. Ready?

Tom looked at it puzzled by the words. “Do people actually do this shit?”, he thought to himself. He continued to read on, examining each clue and the 5 lines next to them.

1. You’ll find your first clue, deals with a tragic romance. He had all the money in the world but never ends up with the one he loves.

“Too easy.” Tom smiled to himself as he quickly looked for The Great Gatsby. He referenced the red letter seeing only 3 spaces for the first clue. “Jay” he whispered to himself, as he triumphantly wrote out the words.

2. Know what else is more shitty than dying and not having the love your life? Writing a depressing poem about the love your life dying. Or as Poe would imagine, a beautiful maiden by the sea.

He smirked at the line, knowing fully well the poem that the mysterious letter was referencing, and quickly headed to the poetry section. Tom scanned the row of books, until the black book with white lettering caught his eye. Flipping through the broken pages, he found exactly what he was looking for. “In this kingdom by the sea, but we loved with a love that was more than love, I and my Annabel Lee.” he muttered the lines, a smile slowly creeping up. Tom writes out the word “Lee” in the 3 lettered blank. “Tragic Romance, how typical.” he says to himself. Though his voice was laced with disinterest, it was Tom’s favorite poem, but he’d never tell anyone that.

It continued on this rhythm of deciphering clues and running around the Library like a chicken without a head to figure out what the letter wanted from Tom. He had been so focused that his plan to study for Gonpu’s final and meeting with the fraternity has completely flown out the window. As of now, Tom’s main priority was to find the answers to the letter’s puzzling challenge. Maybe, if he answered it, he would know who the mysterious writer was.

Then it happened. The last clue was solved, as Tom quickly wrote out the final word, examining his work and trying to make sense of what he found. There were no other instructions left on the letter which only made Tom more puzzled. It wasn’t a name. It wasn’t a thing. It was a place on campus. Jay Lee’s Coffee Lounge, the most serene coffee spot you’ll ever find in NYU. It offered all the essentials needed to focus and complete your work all with a side of great cold brew made in house. People say it’s NYU’s best kept secret, but really it’s because students will rarely go since it’s so out of the way.

He made it to the shop after thirty minutes, and stepped into the calm atmosphere. The smell of gingerbread lattes hit him once he opened the doors, and soft chatter between students filled the air. He looked around the area in hopes to find the person who wrote the letter. Perhaps they were waiting for him, but it was unlikely since Tom wasn’t even sure if the letter was written that same day. For all he knew, he could be wasting his time, and yet....it didnt feel like it. Almost as if he felt he was meant to be here.

“Mate, what are you doing here?!” Tom followed the robust British voice as he whipped his head to the counter. His best friend Harrison, dressed in a Jay Lee’s short sleeved shirt.

“Harrison? You...work here?” He asked voice filled with confusion. Not once did Harrison tell Tom about his side job. In fact it was almost offensive to think the blonde hair bloke would even it hide it from him.

“Yeah...I didn’t really tell anyone because well you know, it’s the last place people would expect a frat to be working in. Reputations and all...What about you? I didn’t think this place was your type of thing.” he asked.

“It’s not...” he paused for a moment, debating on whether to tell Harrison what he found. If it led Tom here, Harrison might know who wrote the letter. He hoped it was girl...God he really hoped it was. “Actually, I was at the library today waiting for you divs --”

“Oh yeah sorry mate.” Harrison looked at Tom apologetically.

“No, its fine really. But I found something interesting, and --”

“Tom, if it’s another blonde wannabe model, I --”

“Bloody hell, Harrison just listen to me. I..” Tom paused for a moment to quickly check his surroundings before pulling up the red paper. “I found this red letter. Made me go on bloody goose chase and led me here. You dont happen to know anything about this do you?”

Harrison took the letter and examined it thoroughly reading the lines word for word and the notes Tom made next to them. He was just as intrigued, but unfortunately shook his head, unsure of the answer to Tom’s question as well. “Sorry, Mate. I have no clue. Never seen anyone here writing out a red letter before.”

Tom held the letter, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Was this it? Did he really just waste a whole 3 hours in the library and 30 minutes worth of gas for nothing? “I just dont understand.” he muttered.

“Look if you really think the person that wrote this letter wanted you to be here, why don’t you just write a message in it and post it on the corkboard? Im working the entire week, so I’ll keep an eye on who grabs it and let you know.“

It didnt seem like a half bad plan, Tom nodded in agreement and grabbed a pen from his bag, writing his reply in the empty space, the mysterious writer was so kind enough to leave. He posted it on the corkboard, and turned back to his friend.

“Dont forget.” Tom pleaded.

“I wont mate.”

[cykes-dono]

smirl thank you so much for letting me infodump in your askbox. the topic for today is the one anime i never shut the fuck up about which is saint seiya. today i am still enraged over the netflix reboot of this show which did, unfortunately, happen. i dont know how they fucked it up so bad. first of all, the animation is fucking gross like the character models are an attempt to bring over the 80s art style to modern CGI and the idea is fine but it looks so weird. the characters look like action figures and their movement is so incredibly stiff. for a show that's 75% composed of fight scenes, stiff movement is not something you want. it would've been so much better to just make this show in 2D like the original series (AND LIKE A SEQUEL SPINOFF THAT CAME OUT A FEW YEARS EARLIER THAT LOOKED A LOT BETTER THAN THIS) or go for the CGI art style that the 40th anniversary movie had, which didn't try to directly adapt an art style from the 80s. anyway. i can excuse the weird art style if the show was good. the show is not good. trust me i watched this reboot twice in its entirety (i am sick in the head and like to watch things that make me angry) and i can tell you with CONFIDENCE that it's just bad. it's like they take everything that was charming about the original series and dumb it down. and that's exactly what they did because this reboot is aimed at children. the original show was aimed at kids 13 and up while this reboot is aimed at kids 8 and up. needless to say there is a LOT that needed to be changed and removed and it changes the vibes so much. the reboot is also aimed at american audiences, since saint seiya had a lot of failed attempts at getting into the us market in the early 2000s, and there was a lot that had to be censored and changed because of american censorship. notably, the show was full of violence that, while not graphic, did result in the characters bleeding a lot. this was altered and there is virtually zero blood in the reboot, which is quite a change. the characters were also aged up from 13-15 to 18-20 so censorship wouldnt get their panties in a twist about kids fighting with each other (it does get a little disturbing to think about it in that light, but the point is that the world is so fucked that these kids are forced to go to war so changing that is changing the entire point of the series.) anyway, they also managed to whitewash the characters. in the og series, all the main characters were japanese. in the reboot, only the main character, seiya, is explicitly stated to be japanese - and hyoga, who is half-japanese and half-russian, is not even russian in the reboot. he's just vaguely european, they never once say where he's from which to me is very sus because they already changed everyone else's nationalities to make them white, who says they're not avoiding stating hyoga's nationality to whitewash him too? also one of the characters who was japanese-chinese in the og is now just chinese, and while he wasn't whitewashed i do find his name being changed (from shiryu) to long a little questionable when analyzing everything else this team has done. the name changes are a little questionable overall (i.e: "whale moses" becoming "whale morris") but i don't feel like talking about most of them rn. then they did something that literally everyone was upset about, and the fans of this show don't agree on much: they changed the gender of one of the main characters. usually, i don't mind gender changes in reboots of things. like i just don't give a shit. but for this case, they chose the one character from the main cast who is kind, gentle, softspoken, and prefers not to fight and they turned That guy into a girl. it doesn't help that he's the most androgynous of the cast and his theme color is pink. it has been explicitly stated that they decided to change him into a girl because they didnt consider his personality very masculine. So Like. This Reboot Is Really Fucking Bad.

I googled it and the reboot looks so ugly help

[bigskydreaming]

Making this its own post because replying to the ask got so weirdly formatted I can’t even. Oh tumblr. You work so well.

@themessofthecentury  asked:

jsksjf my tumblr notifs are bugging and i didnt see your post but!!! The patron Saint of Robins?? I am much intrigue!!

(This is from this ask game, just....gotten to late, lololol. And I still have more I’m getting to, no worries. Just had a rough couple days is all, laid me up a bit.)

Okay, so The Patron Saint of Robins is kinda like the situation at the end of Grayson, except also not at all. And actually this is one of my older WIPs, and according to Scrivener I started it in 2015 afhislfhalhfalf, so it really has nothing to do with that. Also, its Young Justice-verse, but for two specific reasons:

1) YJ-verse is my go-to for Good Dad Bruce Wayne, when I don’t want to actually tackle the issues I have with his and his kids’ dynamic in comic book canon. I don’t carry over things like the adoption issue or the Robin succession into YJ fics, as I don’t think there’s anything that suggests they’re ever a specific issue in YJ and I don’t feel a need to make them one. So pretty much anything and everything I write in YJ goes with the backstory that Dick’s already adopted by Season One, and he’s the one to grant each later Robin permission to use the mantle, with no conflict over that, and more of a pre-Crisis transition to Nightwing than the post-Crisis firing from Robin. And this fic inherently needs Good Dad Bruce Wayne to work, lol.

2) I needed Klarion the Witch-Boy. Who of course exists in comic book canon, but is muuuuuch different there, and I just needed him to be a little demonic evil shithead, who sets everything in motion to get payback on the heroes for thwarting the Light in Season One, and he targets Robin due to being the oft-cited ‘first of the baby brat heroes’ and the ‘heart of the cape community.’

You don’t really need to be familiar with YJ canon at all for this one, as it goes sharply AU from after Season One, and only faintly and vaguely references specific events from that season. And I use my own YJ-ized version of the Titans as much as the actual YJ Team.

So basically, the plot of this one is to take revenge on the heroes for spoiling his game in Season One, Klarion plays a new game, by putting a chaos curse on Robin. It essentially erases him from peoples’ memories, though he’s perfectly able to make new ones. If he re-introduces himself to someone ask Dick Grayson, for instance, they don’t suddenly remember who Dick Grayson is or was, but they don’t forget about him again from that point onward, its like they meet him for the first time as a stranger.

But the curse part of things is only Batman can break it and restore everyone’s memories of Dick and his actual history, and only by identifying him for who he really is. And Dick can’t be part of breaking his own curse or else it seals it and makes it permanent and unbreakable forever.

Which of course leaves Dick completely miserable at first, understandably, and Bruce (and everyone else Dick knows, to varying different degrees) feeling some kind of loss but with no idea what it is they think or feel that they’re missing. Dick makes some half-hearted attempts at starting a new life for himself in Gotham, and in the process befriends a street kid named Jason Todd, though Dick introduces himself to Jason with just the name Robin.

The way the curse operates is it restitches together peoples’ memories to cover up the gaps where memories of him would go. So for instance, even though Jason never knew Dick before the curse, he was familiar with Batman and Robin just as much as any Gothammite was.....but due to the curse, the name Robin, upon meeting Dick, had no special meaning to him or anyone else. As far as he knew, Batman had always operated on his own in Gotham, the first teen superhero was that Speedy kid in Star City, etc. So when Jason first meets Dick, he just thinks he’s some dude whose name happens to be Robin.

Eventually, because Dick’s been kinda torturing himself by spying on Bruce just to ‘keep an eye on him’ and still watch his back, and he’s recognized by now that Bruce is mourning his loss without even knowing that he’s missing something....so Dick, who has also kinda come to see Jason as a little brother figure due to watching out for him as well....decides to kill two birds with one stone, unfortunate pun not intended. (Jason doesn’t die in this one, lol). Basically, Dick puts in motion the chain of events that lead Jason to stealing Batman’s tires, because he doesn’t know EXACTLY what Bruce will do but he knows it’ll get his attention in a big way and Bruce will take it from there.

One thing leads to another, Jason ends up living with Bruce and when eventually he wants to be trained by Bruce so he can do what he does and protect kids like he used to be.....when asked to pick a name....Jason names himself after the guy who always looked out for him, and who led to him being found by Bruce in the first place. He doesn’t know that his friend ‘Robin’ steered him towards those tires deliberately, just to bring him and Bruce into contact, but he does credit him with making the suggestion that ‘inadvertently’ (as far as he knows) enabled his and Bruce’s introduction, and so he names himself in honor of the boy who helped him and who he tried to track down again to similarly help, after Bruce adopted him, but was never able to find again.

Over the years, Dick also ends up steering Tim, Cass, Duke and Damian to Bruce in different ways than comic book canon (Steph and Babs’ debuts remain their own, as family adjacent but not family specifically) and thus is integral to the forming of the Batfam and has a connection with them even before the curse ultimately ends up broken and he’s able to reclaim his full identity. And each of them end up Robin at least briefly, like Steph is never Robin in this AU, and sticks with Spoiler, whereas Cass IS briefly Robin before becoming Batgirl after Babs. I did this for a few different reasons...

One, I really like that Cass is never Robin in main continuity as it creates a different dynamic between her and Dick than most of their siblings have, BUT I’ve always been curious to play around what Cass-as-Robin might even be like, just for an AU. Two, part of the Black Bat and Batgirl but never Robin sequence of mantles for Cass in the comic book continuity is like.....although it doesn’t get explored nearly enough, Babs was as much a kind of mother figure for Cass as Bruce was a father figure, despite Babs’ young age. So it makes more sense for Cass to stick more to just Bat-mantles than to ever be a Robin in the comic books. But in YJ, Babs is even younger, and just way too young to have the specific kind of dynamic that leads to that in the comic books, so its not as unreasonable IMO for her to have a different dynamic in her early days in the family here, before becoming closer with Babs and taking up the Batgirl mantle after she moves on to become Oracle.

And then also, and this is also the primary reason for making Duke a Robin briefly, before Damian is old enough....I got hung up on the title and it just didn’t work as well if it was Robins + Cass and Duke, lololol. See, in addition to helping steer the family into the points of introduction that make them a family, over the years he also acts as like, a guardian angel figure to the various family members, looking out for them and interceding in times of extreme danger, like when Jason is almost killed by the Joker. He’s always in disguise, but the kids eventually compare notes and realize there’s a singular figure behind each of their introductions to Bruce and the guy swooping out of nowhere to save their behinds whenever they’re most in danger, and Jason eventually connects this back to the guy who apparently NOT so coincidentally suggested he go after the Batmobile’s tires that fateful night, and the kids end up jokingly/not-so-jokingly referring to this figure as the Patron Saint of Robins. (Shout-out to the occasional mentions/allusions of Jason’s Catholicism).

They never tell Bruce about this figure (at least before Bruce starts to put together clues on his own), because they all figured out that for whatever reason, this person despite wanting them all to meet Bruce seems to want to avoid Bruce himself, and they kinda want to respect that as a kind of payback for his help, and also like....Bruce, even a kinder, gentler Bruce, is still Bruce. And when Bruce is gonna Bruce, that means Batparanoia. And all of them for various reasons DO trust that this guy has nothing but good intentions towards them, and so they don’t want to like....ruin or tarnish the positivity they associate with his intercession in their lives with paranoia or treating him like a bad guy. Which ultimately is really just smoke and mirrors for saying that he’s kinda a ‘just for them’ secret. Its a Robin thing.

(Until its not).

Because meanwhile, Dick, in between meeting the various Batfam members and pulling strings and looking out for them from the shadows, at first travels the world looking for ways to break his curse. But when ultimately its clear that the only way to break it is the loophole built into it already, Bruce identifying him for who he really is, but without Dick doing anything to steer him towards the answer, Dick settles into a new hero identity as Nightwing, and forms the Teen Titans, a public group of young superheroes (minus Roy and Wally, unfortunately, but still with Donna, Garth, Raven, Kory, ignoring season 3 Vic and also Terra because AU redemption arc what what, etc). And the Teen Titans avoid both the Young Justice Team and the Justlce League with EXTREME measures, much to the other heroes’ confusion and aggravation, because in the early days of the Titans, in a moment of what he’d term weakness, on one of his ‘bad days,’ Dick tells them enough of his story that they’re able to put together a good sense of what happened and who he really is by reading between the lines and what he leaves unsaid....

BUT as a result, all end up extremely committed to not mixing and mingling casually with the rest of the cape community because they don’t want to risk dropping any hints about the guy under Nightwing’s mask, in case that might count as steering Batman towards clues and seal the curse for good. So I have a lot of fun with having the Titans just nope out of the scene the second the bad guys are defeated even when they have to team up with other heroes, leaving the other heroes confused as hell and trying not to be all ‘WHY DON’T YOU LIKE US??”

Anyway, so yeah, that’s the gist of this one, lol. With it of course following the eventual plot that like...the Batfam starts to Detect and put things together.

ANYWHO!

Snippet

Damian versus Klarion: Round One

“Aww, its adorable that you think you’re in my league,” the Witch-Boy cooed in an absolute mockery of sympathy. Damian bristled, but before he could do anything more than that, he was faced with a much more pressing matter as reality completely lost its mind.

The walls of the cavern fell away in an instant, only to be replaced with a whirling dervish of winds all around them, as if they now stood in the center of a cyclone that bled red and silver and black. It shrieked and wailed in a chorus of voices just on the other side of being comprehensible, a symphony of the damned that set every nerve in Damian’s body aflame with a primal instinct to get out, to find silence, to be anywhere but here.

He’d barely staggered a step backwards when the ground erupted beneath him, splitting apart into jagged obsidian shards that bobbed precariously in the sea of magma barely glimpsed through cracks now spiderwebbing their way across the floor. Spears of lightning burst upwards through them, stabbing impossibly at the heavens rather than raining down from them. They hissed and crackled as they flickered like forked serpent tongues of electric violet and black. The forks becoming branches, the pillars of sky-shattering light transforming into the trunks of great trees that grew upwards and outward, weaving a canopy overhead. One that wept violently red leaves that fell gently to the ground, only to hiss and bubble like acid once they did.

“See, normally this is when I’d hit someone with a little razzle-dazzle like this,” Klarion called out over the song of madness he’d created, as it crooned and careened wildly all around them. He snapped his fingers, and in the span of a second it all ceased. Reality reaffirmed itself, and all was right with the world once more…except now the two of them stood at the end of a hallway in Wayne Manor.

Damian stumbled, the sudden reappearance of firm ground paradoxically being the thing to challenge his balance. The demon boy standing beside him crooked his thumb and forefinger in the semblance of a gun, the smile pasted across his face one of wickedly gleeful malice.

“But you, kiddo, you’re special. Cuz there’s nothing I could do to you now that could top what I’ve already done, so why try when I can just savor the moment instead?”

“What are you babbling about?” Damian demanded roughly. In the wake of what the Witch-Boy had just conjured up with nothing more than a gesture, he was keenly aware of how flimsy a shield his bravado made. He just had absolutely no idea what else to fall back on.

Klarion only threw back his head and laughed though, skipping merrily down the hall as he did.

“I know something you don’t know,” he sing-songed and Damian lost what little grasp of his patience he’d managed to hang onto.

“You overestimate my need for an answer. Attempt to intimidate me all you wish, but I have no desire to indulge your little game any further.”

Klarion jerked to a stop and spun around, his face screwed into a childish pout. He stomped his foot, petulance personified. “I’m not intimidating you anymore, I’m gloating! Ugh, you’re so stupid! They’re completely different, how can you not tell?”

Every light in the hallway flickered and fizzed abruptly. The walls wavered, bubbled, momentarily molten as if made of wax.

Again Damian was reminded just how mercurial this being he was faced with was, and how dangerous. Perhaps, as Father would say, this was not the time to indulge his own instinctive inclinations. Or as Todd would put it, just because you’re already fucked, that’s no reason to fuck yourself over more than you have to.

Crude as his older brother was, there was occasional merit to his…pithiness. Not that he would be admitting that any time soon, of course.

“Fine. What is it you wish to gloat about then?” Damian grated out. The appeasement, such as it was, tried its best to stick in his throat before finally clawing its way free. But at least it proved worth the effort when the godling’s mood reverted back to impishness as readily as with the flip of a switch.

“Well. Its like this, you see.” Klarion said. He dragged it out as he folded both legs underneath him to sit cross-legged in the air, plopping his head into his hands. “I did a baaaaaaaaaaaaad, bad thing to your family, a loooooong time ago. And none of you have done anything about it, because you don’t even know! Isn’t that funny? Doesn’t matter how big a hero Daddy Bats is if he doesn’t even know what needs saving huh? Little Catch-22 there, you might say.”

“Yes. Quite hysterical,” Damian said dryly. “So what is it you claim to have done then?”

The Witch-Boy just sat there, regarding him with amusement, and the seconds marched on into minutes. Damian’s skin crawled. Prickling with impatience and possibly something…more. He wasn’t quite ready to name it anxiety or something as melodramatic as all that yet. In fact, he’d rather not put a name to it at all, but today did not appear to be a day for configuring things to his liking.  

Klarion’s wicked grin grew as if sensing his thoughts, though to the best of his knowledge (and Damian did quickly ransack the library of his memory just to be sure) there was no indication telepathy was included among the Chaos Lord’s many, many powers. And still that detestable smile stretched slowly wider all the same, in perfect synchronization with the rising tide of Damian’s unease. Perhaps the Witch-Boy’s file was in need of annotation.

“How many doors would you say are in this hallway?”

“What? Seven.” Damian snapped out his answer, annoyed by the non sequitur. Not to mention baffled. Was it too much to expect even a semblance of linear thought from the Chaos brat?

“Are you suuuuuuure?” The Witch-Boy stretched his query out obnoxiously. “Maybe you should count again. Just for kicks and giggles.”

Damian throttled back each and every retort attempting to spring to his lips, stuffing them back down and cramming a lid on everything he most dearly wished to say to this most vexing of…shitheads. Once again, it appeared as though nothing less than Todd’s preferred form of nomenclature would suffice. Wonderful. On top of everything else Damian had to deal with today, he seemed to be finding common ground with the man all over the place. Was there no end to the indignities he must suffer?

But marshaling his own formidable willpower, Damian took a deep breath and indulged the Chaos Lord, glancing his eyes down the length of the hallway and counting out each doorway one by one. There was his own room of course, with Cassandra’s to the right of his, and the room Brown used when staying over to the right of hers. That was three. Then there was Thomas directly across from his own room, with Drake to his right and Todd just beyond that, with Father’s room at the very end of the hall, his master suite staggered and with no direct opposite like the others. Seven.

Except all of a sudden there was a door directly opposite his father’s. For a total of eight.

Damian’s brow furrowed in consternation. The faint whispers of uncertainty already seeded throughout him bore fruit, ripening into poisonous stabbings of doubt.

“That’s not real,” he stated with as much conviction as he could muster.

The Witch-Boy’s smile only grew wider still. “Isn’t it, though?”

“There’s never been a door there before,” Damian persisted, striding confidently down the hall towards it. The Chaos Lord flitted ahead of him, inverting til he was upside down and skipping merrily once more, though this time from the ceiling.

“Or has it been there all along?” He sing-songed some more.

“I would think we might have noticed if it had been,” Damian growled.

“Yes, you’d think, wouldn’t you? You are all supposed to be a family of detectives, I thought. Makes you wonder…if you could miss this, what else might you have failed to notice?”

Damian snarled to himself and did his best to shut out the demon boy’s prattling. He quickened his strides, eating up the length of the hallway in his haste to reach its end. He wasn’t sure what opening the door would prove, let alone what bewilderment the godling had conjured on its other side, but it appeared the only end to this game of his was through it, so let there be an end to it already.

And yet, for all his certainty - or best facsimile of it - he couldn’t help but pause once he reached the door in question. His hand hovered within reach of its brass knob, but some instinct, some…caution, held him at bay. As much as he wanted to dismiss all this as just one more of the Chaos Lord’s inane charades, there was a tension in the air that felt too weighty to be the product of just magical conjuring. Something more was in play here. Real forces were at work. His father might disdain magic, but Damian had been around enough of it himself to know when true power had been raised. And the span of empty space between his hand and this hither-to-unseen doorknob held more of it than Damian had felt throughout all the mad warpings Klarion had made of reality thus far.

“Are you sure you want to do that?” Klarion asked from somewhere overhead. His voice, usually pitched to carry, was so soft for a moment Damian mistook it for his own inner doubts. “Some doors are easier to open than to close again, you know.”

Even knowing the goading for what it was couldn’t stop Damian then, and with a simple breath to fortify himself, he reached for the knob, spun it once, and shoved the door open all in a single sharp movement.

The Witch-Boy giggled up above.

The door swung wide, a forceful arc that should have revealed anything and everything within it all at once; the better to react quickly to whatever that might be. Fine in principle, perfect in execution, but thwarted by one small detail:

There was nothing on the other side.

And not in the sense of it being just an empty room, but true nothingness. A pitch-black abyss darker than the deepest night, yawning forth from the doorway in a vast, impenetrable shroud. Nor was anything hidden in the darkness, Damian knew, even if just intuitively. He could feel it, that he stood on the edge of an impossible cliff, that there was nothing beyond this threshold but an aching chasm of emptiness and loss. The surety of it hung in the air, thick and heavy, a miasma that seeped through to his side of the doorway and clung to him like the moisture of a fog beads upon the skin.

Klarion’s head suddenly popped up alongside him, hovering just over his shoulder.

Albeit still upside down.

“Well that doesn’t seem right,” he mused, tapping at his lips with a forefinger. “What do you suppose is meant to be in there?”

The last of Damian’s brittle patience shattered.

“Enough! What is the meaning of all this, demon? Speak plainly, for once in your miserable existence!”

His self-preservation instincts and the reminder of just who it was he was shouting at kicked in too little too late, but he wouldn’t take his exasperated fury back even if he could. He was who he was after all. But fortunately, that described the Witch-Boy just as accurately, and rather take offense or perceive any actual threat from Damian’s rage, the Chaos Lord just shrieked with laughter and sprung backwards. He flipped right side up, still hovering in mid-air, and clapped his hands with glee.

“Oh, I should have done this ages ago,” Klarion sang out. “Why, you’re almost as fun as he used to be. Back before he got all droll and serious, that is. He’s no fun at all anymore, nothing like this. Never wants to play, always just running back to his tower with that little bitch of a demoness.”

His face soured like he’d just sucked on a lemon. But rather than stop there, his countenance kept morphing into an increasingly savage scowl, the longer he ranted. The hallway was suddenly sweltering, baking with unseen heat that twisted the air into shimmering ribbons. The small horns sprouting from his forehead burst into scimitars of flame that cut through those ribbons and set them similarly ablaze.

“Always putting on airs like she’s some kind of royalty, just because her Daddy Dearest put the fear into a few peasants back in the day,” the Witch-Boy snarled viciously. “As if that’s enough to put her on par with the likes of me. No one is the likes of me. NO ONE!”

Reality itself quaked with the force of his shout. White-blue flames spat forth and crescendoed down the length of the corridor, splashing against its walls and searing them to a crisp. Damian braced himself for all the good it would do, keenly aware of the void still gaping hungrily behind his back, but before the fire could become an actual danger to him as well, all was quiet once more.

Silence hung in the air much like the demon boy, poised yet motionless. Suspended. Waiting.

And then Klarion simply inhaled and brushed his hands down the front of his garments, smoothing out the wrinkles as he reclaimed his calm. The corridor restored itself to its former self, curtains of vintage reality unrolling from the ceiling to the floor as though papering over the damage. Damian felt rather than saw when the portal behind him swung shut and was replaced with the expanse of ivory paint and ornate sconces he was used to seeing in its place.

“I am one of a kind, after all,” Klarion finally remarked. It was a casual drawl offered forth almost off-handedly, as if more a reminder to himself than uttered for anyone else’s sake. He used one hand to spell out letters in the air. They appeared and vanished again in bursts of fireworks and fluorescent flame. “U-N-I-Q-U-E.”

“As I, apparently, am not,” Damian said, seizing upon the Chaos Lord’s restored calm and good cheer. “Who is this ‘he’ you mentioned? If I’m to be pitted against him as entertainment in your eyes, might I at least know his name?”

“Nuh-uh-uh,” the Witch-Boy scolded. He wagged his finger at Damian. “No spoilers. That’s not how the game is played.”

Keenly aware of the boy’s power once more, Damian gritted his teeth and pressed on. “Well, if there are to be rules, shouldn’t I at least know what those are?”

Klarion sucked in a deep breath, drawing himself up along with his inhalation as though preparing for some great speech…and instead just toppling backward, flopping onto an extravagant fainting couch that suddenly appeared beneath him, though similarly floating in the air.

“I can’t recall at the moment.” His now-faint voice drifted up from where he lay buried amid a mountain of pillows. “I’ve had a terribly exhausting day. But you’re supposed to be a detective, remember? Go…I don’t know. Detect things.”

He flapped an arm at Damian dismissively, and then crooked a finger into a twirling motion that set his divan to spinning in lazy circles.

“Isn’t life grand?” Klarion sighed fondly. “With all its twists and turns, its eddies and swirls. I mean, take the two of us. Scant hours ago, we were mortal enemies, and just look at us now.”

The Witch-Boy lazily rolled his head to the side as the couch drifted to bring him face-to-face with Damian. His lips spread wide in that malevolent, wicked grin of his once again, but somehow it managed to be even wider than any he’d shown off before. His eyes blazed with a hellish inner light, and his voice, when next he spoke, dropped deep into a demonic register. A bass that boomed forth and set Damian’s very bones to rattling.

“Ain’t we got fun?”

[readingaccountability]

snow crash - neal stephenson

my playlist (because of The Way That I Am)

final thoughts:

okay, im going to be honest right out of the gate- i cant decide whether this is a book id recommend or not. it was really fun for the most part, but personally there was a lot more exposition than id like. the early portions of the novel have exposition which feels completely fair, mostly things relating to worldbuilding. stephenson creates his own vision of future america, and some places online referred to it as cyberpunk, and some as post-cyberpunk. id be more in the latter camp, mostly due to the way he plays with tropes, leaving the reader unsure of which will be subverted and which wont.

the use of language was really fun, and i enjoyed the worldbuilding a lot. his vision of a futuristic capitalistic earth feels surreal in its immediacy and recognizability. the back jacket blurb ends with "a future america so bizarre, so outrageous, you'll recognize it immediately." which, yeah. a texan info-tech magnate? two competing corporations owning the highway system? suburban city-states? this was another enjoyable thing- everything was colorfully named, and names treated totally normally, which kind of poked fun at how we have everyday things named very ludicrously and for the most part we are totally blind to it.

one aspect i really enjoyed was that the author often doesn't make certain things clear to the audience, until he does, and then it becomes necessary to reassess the entire story and setting. this goes to underscore the theme of the importance of information and the ways we take it in and perceive the world based upon it. for example, we don't learn that y.t. is fifteen until maybe 75 pages in, at which point a lot makes sense in retrospect. the same thing occurs in the worldbuilding, as suddenly a detail is given in passing and the reader must incorporate it into the setting, which by default we assume to be similar in many ways to our idea of america. it keeps the reader on their toes as well as furthering the worldbuilding. for the most part, the tech stuff didnt feel outdated to me, despite being a future projected out from '92.

however, aspects of the book are definitely very 1992. id put these into two camps: the first, being that the book does at different times use slurs. the main character is black and asian, the n word is used a few times by racist side-character/antagonist types, as are a few other racial slurs. there was also the occasional usage of the r slur, within the narrative prose itself, rather than usage as an insult within dialogue.

the protagonist, who is named, unfortunately, hiro protagonist, is a great character and felt very fleshed out to me, though at times he reminded me more of dirk strider than normally would be ideal. (its obvious that stephenson and andrew hussie are of a similar type of writer, and play with similar tropes, lmao.) hiro is a man of many worlds. he seems to shift between them easily, though never fully existing in any of them. this is reflected in his background, both in his biracial identity and in having been raised on a myriad of army bases. this is layered further in his fluidity in interacting with both reality and the metaverse, yet remaining slightly, consistently aloof. fascinatingly the first moment i sensed this drop was when we meet juanita- aka where his real and meta realities coincide. the description of them as the adam and eve of the metaverse is both insanely romantic and thematically key (good god i wish we had more than like, two conversations between them). juanita designed the facial component to metaverse avatars, doing the majority of this work when the two were together, and hiro can see echoes of both their facial tics in the face of every avatar in the metaverse. in a way, by having done this work juanita is positioned by the narrative as one of the gods of this digital realm. she is also hiro's call to action, being aware of the coming trouble and alerting him to it, as well as connecting him to the informational database he needs to prepare.

y.t., the secondary protagonist, fucking ruled. i loved that she was just a fifteen year old punkass kid whose mom doesnt know how crazy this part time job is. y.t. being worried about her mom was a great thread throughout, and a really good balance to how obviously independent y.t. is. i do wish there had been a chance to explain more about her background (she has a dad who left who is mentioned in a throwaway sentence, and a boyfriend who is mentioned near the beginning but never again.) i really enjoyed how obviously hyperaware y.t. was at all times about her own place within the insanities of the setting, while also consistently writing her as a teen maybe in way too deep who thinks about things in typically teenage ways. but like, that wasn't ever held against her? the narrative meets her where she is. it was honestly awesome. HOWEVER,

i absolutely hated the raven and y.t. scenes. how creepy!!! he basically statutory rapes her!!! we know hes at least late 20s early 30s, because hes the same age as hiro. if this sort of content is upsetting to read for you, i definitely do NOT recommend this book. (if you want to avoid reading these bits: ch 47 y.t. meets raven, ch 50 they are in a bar eating, ch 52 things happen that result in y.t.'s anti-assault device activating- she did not activate it on purpose, but forgot it was there- and raven is knocked out.)

please PLEASE dont take any of the following analysis as like, trying to be apologetic towards this scenes. because again they were awful and hard to get through and really gross. but im also cognizant that the author was obviously trying to convey something by making the choice, like the way it was written is obviously not condoning this sort of thing.

i think maybe what stephenson was trying to get at with that, was that we see hiro internally negate any potential for anything untoward with y.t. basically immediately, since he kind of senses that she might have a small crush on him (though this doesnt last more than a fleeting moment, especially from her perspective). vs raven, whose 'poor impulse control' warning tattoo eventually elicits a sarcastic remark from hiro after he finds out raven and y.t. were "a thing". i really dont think hiro knew how far it went? like it was just suuuper weird, but i figured it was meant narratively to 1. execute the chekovs gun of y.t.'s anti-assault device, 2. contrast hiro and raven (especially considering the bike-racing argument where theyre telling the story together, which is supposed to parallel them, while contrasting the differences in how they ended up?), and 3. just to get raven unconscious, i guess. but good god it was weird and i hated every second of it, why couldnt the device have like, activated way earlier?? gah. fucking upsetting. moving past that!

honestly i was really frustrated by how little screentime juanita got, because the way she was introduced was so fucking interesting and then shes mostly off doing her own thing. the bits of explanation she gives at the end about what she was up to on the raft are so sparse and im like damn, can we get a little bit of her pov in here? please? that would have ruled. additionally, shes supposed to be hiros love interest, but we see so little of them interacting outside her intro scenes. a huge portion of why hiro is getting into the sumerian mythology is literally framed as something that will help him understand juanita, but we dont get to see him talk to her about it barely at all.

the supporting characters were quite fun, i particularly liked the librarian. big surprise, i liked the overly literal ai information-dispensor, lmfao. watching him and hiro interact reminded me SO hard of geordi laforge having honest to god conversations with the computer where he tries to coax information out of it, aka one of my favorite little aspects of tng.

and lastly, the major plot themes themselves. i adore the way stephenson approached action, it was very entertaining. usually i cant really visualize action scenes written out, but his use of language was really really effective and engaging. the plot itself was absolutely fascinating, though i found the premise pretty contrived. which isnt bad in itself, i was fully suspending my disbelief until the last hundred pages or so. which for a 550+ page book, isnt too bad.

i did like the approach of linking the ancient to the modern, that is always really neat. and i think ultimately stephenson did it in an interesting way, not how i would have done it, but definitely interesting! creating these ideas about information infrastructures, and there being words that can access those and be used to control people, was wild. not sure if i agree about the equating of religion to a virus, though he did specifically establish that it was more the approach to religion, than religion itself. (maybe if juanita had been more goddamn present in the narrative that could have been elaborated on a little more. literally her perspective would have been perfect in balancing that out!!)

ultimately what did me in was the very very very long winded MONOLOGUE where hiro re-explained the whole premise, in ways that didnt really neatly organize into a cohesive argument. a lot of the scenes where hiro talks to the librarian, which are interspersed throughout the book, are really exposition heavy, because stephenson is rooting his ideas in historical concepts that need to be explained to both hiro and the audience. and i thought all that was fine, because it was a conversation where hiro was grappling with the information, and he was figuring it out along with the reader, and most importantly it was a conversation between him and the librarian computer program.

howeverrr later on we get a full rehash of all that, where hiro makes clear some stuff that was just implied for the reader, and hes literally just telling these important men whats up in this big long monologue. utterly worthless. i kept reading it and going YEAH, we KNOW, we know this we know this. and the important men barely interjected. it added basically nothing to our understanding of the situation, other than reframing it. but everything added was already an implicit thing, and didnt really need to be said again.

the resolution to the book was stellar, the last 30-40 pages, once hiro is onto the raft, were great. ultimately after reading and giving some time to digest it, i think it was a solidly great book with a few big drawbacks near the end, but which dont carry through and sully the ending.

[flowerpowell]

The Dream Life of Ellie Wheeler (Colt x MC // Logan x MC)

PART TWO

<series moodboard coming hopefully soon>

A/N: unedited and not proofread but I just didnt have any time for that and wanted to post it before I’d overthink it and not post it after all. I’ll post it on Ao3 as well and reblog this post with the link to it. Please, let me know if you want me to keep you tagged or take you off the taglist. And if you prefer reading it here or on Ao3. 

Series summary: Ellie lives with a very strict father who doesn’t let her leave the house even for one night. When he forbids her to go to her dream college, Ellie decides to take matters into her hands and create her dream life. Since the only way to move out of the family house is to get married, Ellie needs to find a guy she can fake marry immediately. And who’s better than a young criminal that Ellie can easily blackmail? Unfortunately, not everything is as easy as Ellie hopes.

Rating: PG

Colt tags: @delightfullypinkglitter @mskaneko @desireepow-1986 @lovehugsandcandy @badchoicesposts @kingliam2019 @client-327 @walkerduchess 

Ellie woke up and her face immediately lit up. Today was the day she would finally take matters into her own hands and take a risk to make her biggest dream come true. Was it stupid? Yes, probably, but Ellie was determined. She wanted to go to Langston. She wanted to finally try living on her own. Besides, she wanted to try everything before giving up. And there was still at least—she looked at the phone—twelve hours before she had to send her answer whether she’d be attending the university or not. Twelve hours to execute her plan. At the end of the day she’d either gain nothing, go to college or be dead, if Colt Kaneko turned out to be dangerous. Either way, she wanted to try.

~~~~

She never took a day off. Her father would know if she did, besides, she needed money. Today was different and Alice promised she’d cover for her.

Ellie was sneaking up into the garage, hoping to meet Colt.

Colt and Colt only, she thought to herself. If that weirdo is with him I’m not sure I’d be able to say anything.

She was lucky. Colt was sleeping on the mattress, on the floor and there was no sight of Moana, or whatever her name was. Ellie took a deep breath and entered the garage.

Through the window.

Somehow, it felt inappropriate to use the main entrance, considering she was sneaking up. And on top of that, Ellie hoped it’d make a better impression on Colt since he was a criminal. In her head it made a lot of sense, the reality was slightly different, though.

What Ellie didn’t predict, was that she, in fact, wasn’t the tallest person, the window was pretty high and there wasn’t any dumpster on the other side of the window so she could climb down. As a result, instead of being sneaky, she fell down and made so much noise that all neighbors could hear.

“Ahhhhhhh!” she cried out when her body met with the floor and many toolboxes that she accidentally knocked over.

“The police are coming, abort mission!” she heard Colt yelling, before he rolled out of the mattress and started running away.

“No! No police, it’s just me!” So much for the good impression, Ellie. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to knock on the door so I wouldn’t wake you up.”

“Well, you did a great job, then,” Colt snarled as he massaged his neck. He looked at her again as if only now registering that she wasn’t supposed to be here.

“What… What on Earth are you doing here? Who are you?”

“I’m the barista from yesterday, remember?”

“Geez.” Colt rolled his eyes. “Don’t tell me you came here because I didn’t thank you for the coffee or something. And may I ask, how did you even find me?!”

“Actually, you forgot your change,” Ellie joked but Colt looked as if she went crazy. Which, to be fair, she did. “I’m joking.”

“Funny,” he replied, with the most serious expression she ever saw. Ellie wanted to run. But first, she had a mission.

“Listen, what I’m about to say may sound crazy but I need you to listen to me—”

“Umm, can we go back to why you’re here and how you found me?”

“That’s what I was about to say before you interrupted me!” Ellie looked at him reproachingly.

“Amuse me.”

“I followed you yesterday. Just wanted to know the reason why I had to stay extra time at work. I… umm… overheard a thing or two. Listen,” Ellie took a deep breath deciding it was time to cut to the chase. “I know what you and Moana are doing…”

“Mona.”

“Same thing.” Ellie shrugged. “I know it’s illegal and I know now what your father was doing as well. And I also know what you’re about to do tonight. And I also happen to have a police officer for a father and he’d be very grateful for the information I have. But the thing is, I don’t what to give it to him, get it? I think I would benefit more if I didn’t tell anyone.”

“Wait, wait. I don’t understand what you’re saying. What is your point? You want to sell me out but … you don’t want to sell me out?”

“Ugh, I’m trying to blackmail you! I won’t tell anyone about the car deal tonight if you marry me today and take me with you to Oklahoma,” she finished and looked at Colt expectantly. For someone who has just been blackmailed, he seemed very calm.

“I’m sorry but…” Colt shook his head. “I think I’m still sleeping. It’s been a while since I had a vivid dream but here we are. You can disappear now and I need to wake up.”

Ellie sighed and walked up to Colt. She took his hand and pinched him hard, until she could see her nail marks on his skin. He hissed and took his arm away from her.

“Oh no.” That was all he said.

“Look, I know it’s not ideal but I really need to go to college and I can’t and—”

“IDEAL? You just asked me to marry you. Knowing too well I’m a criminal and you’re a daughter of a cop.”

“My father doesn’t allow me to go to college outside our city, unless I’m married. There’s no other way out. I’m helping you, you’re helping me. You’re not helping me, I’m not helping you.”

“I’m sorry to say that but I think you’re in the wrong place, sweetheart. Find someone else you can marry, I have a job to do.”

“Okay then. Good luck with your job. Me and a few other cops will come and look at your success tonight.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Colt murmured. “You know I could kill you right now? You know I’m a criminal and you’re not even scared of what I might do to you.”

“So? If I can’t go to college, what’s the point?”

“Geez, you’re such a nerd.” Colt rolled his eyes. He looked at Ellie and then at the car, covered with black cloth. “This is unfair. My job is only for one night. And I’ll have to stay married to you for more than one night.”

“Not really. I need to be married to leave the house. Obviously, after tonight, we both will go to Oklahoma. I don’t have a place to stay so I’ll stay with you until I find a dorm or something. We’ll be married only on paper and divorce as soon as I’ll settle into Langston.”

“I can’t marry into a family of cops!”

“Fake-marry,” Ellie corrected him.

“Same thing. What if your father does some research on me? A criminal marrying into a cop family.”

“Relax! I’ll handle it. He’s not gonna do anything when we’re still married. Trust me.”

“That’s… no. I can’t! I’ve done many stupid things in my life but this… This is the worst.”

“Would you rather… risk yours and Moana’s freedom?”

“Mona! And no! Of course not. I’ve got things to do…” Colt sighed. “How can I know you’re not lying? That you won’t say something to your father later?”

“Because I need your house? And be married to you? Without you, I’d have to stay here.”

Colt ran his hand though his hair. This was an important job. The last one before he would finish his father’s business and start his own. He couldn’t risk it. And that girl was clearly mad. Besides, she said it herself. That marriage would be only on paper. Was this a punishment for his sins? Was everything his did so bad that this was the only way to redeem himself? Was it—

“Can you make up your mind faster? I need to give my answer in less than ten hours.”

“Okay, fine. But if you do anything, you’ll regret it, I promise you!”

“Mhmm, yaay! Okay, we need to get married asap and send my answer! Hurry up, I still need to pack before my father comes home. Call Moana, we need a marriage witness or whatever. Hurry up!!”

~~~~

In the past five hours, Colt questioned his sanity more times than ever in his life. First, when he agreed to Ellie’s plan. He didn’t even know her but agreed to marry her. Later, he questioned his sanity when he asked Mona to be his best woman. Mona questioned his sanity, too. Then, he questioned it many more times during the ceremony and finally, when he said I do. By the end of the day, he was certain that it was only a bad dream. He couldn’t possibly marry Ellie. She was the weirdest person he’d ever met. And he, most certainly, met a great amount of weird people in his life.

Marriage certificate in his hand, he wondered when he’d wake up from this nightmare and what awaited him next.

 -----

[irldoomerboy]

OK SO YALL REMEMBER WHEN I POSTED THAT COMIC WITH LEONS ARM IN IT?????????????? HE GETS A FACE AND CONK GETS A PROPER INTRODUCTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So these are me and my bud Liam's farmer oc self inserts or whatever, they're brothers and have been close since the very beginning, like two peas in a pod :D

Conk is an ex-”talented kid” who had a massive burnout after high school and just kept overworking himself since, he used to play sports and play music in his mixed genre band, before deciding to move to pelican town he had a heart attack in his office while working for Joja corp, he blames the entire thing on Joja despite it being his fault that he chugged 10 high caffeine energy drinks in the span of less then 2 hours. Despite what hes been through hes stayed the same man he always is, a hopeless romantic whos interested in the unknown and the thrill of adventure, he often gets hurt due to his own impulsiveness and perseverance but there isnt a time where he got back up onto his feet. Conk is an overall calm and chill dude but he doesnt take shit from anyone and can tend to be extremely protective of his loved ones when need be, he gets attached to people faster then he can pick up a new skill or hobby...its worrying? None the less Conk is like everyones big brother that would stick with you no matter what you did. 

Leon is a very shy and reserved guy who doesnt really like new people, he prefers to stick around with friends instead of meeting newcomers, once you get to know him he seems more like he picked up Conks impulsiveness through the years and normally pulls pranks or does dumb things for probably no good reason. He was that kid in high skool that would always get the bad end of the stick and didnt have many friends other then a few of Conks friends. Leon often gets flustered easily and panics around someone he likes (probably more then he should) but hes trying his best so you cant blame him. He sees his older brother as a role model and as a father figure, let alone if hes close with you he will probably see you as family, hes a very caring person when it comes to his peers, despite how incredibly impulsive and tricky he is, he does care.

FUNFACTS:

Theyre both British, Conk has the accent and Leon doesnt

Conk is naturally a brunette and Leon is ginger

They simply dont have a dad that was there when they were young so they just looked at Harvey and Elliott and were like “yep those are our new fatherly figures”

Conk is married to Sebastian and Leon is a hopeless simp for Sam 

Conk is 19 and is 5′8

Leon is 18 and 4′11

Theyre mother is named Miss Barkson and their dad is Mr Winters

Conk used to play tennis and badminton as his main 2 sports to play

Leon has stolen Sams shirts after forgetting to give them back and will most likely do it again

Leon just hates Haley for some reason, he throws mud at her sometimes???

Conk has had WAY too many hair colours and styles through his time of dying it

Conk can play guitar, his skills are rusty but he can do it

Conk has unreadable handwriting

Conk used to have a toxic ex that caused him a lotta pain back in his teens, he has slight trust issues but that did not stop him from falling for Sebastian as quick as he did

Leon really likes fireflies and sometimes catches them in jars bc theyre pretty

(as seen in the comic where his name was introduced n that) Leon hides in cupboards and scares people when they walk past

They both share a love for strawberries

Conk really likes making new outfits

Every bachelor and bachelorette ( - Sam + Conk) has a place in Leons family figure dynamic 

Conks hair is unreasonably fluffy

Leon and Sam sometimes draw stuff together when they have nothing better to do, theyre both sorta good at it too

Leon despises swimming, Conk is the opposite 

Conk is fully transitioned but Leon unfortunately isnt

In addition to the last one, Conk has a savings account with money in it to pay for Leons top surgery, Leon doesnt know it exists

Leon has the worst posture

Conk really likes mushrooms and sometimes talks to Demetrius about them out of pure fascination

If Leon sleeps in past 8am something is wrong

Conk has been underage drinking since age 16

OK THATS ALL I CAN THINK OF FOR NOW GOODNIGHT :DDD