#it could be just a day

[guess-ill-dye]

Today I had a dream that my cat was back. We was taken away from me but he was back. I gave him some milk and he loved it. I also loved it. It has almost been a year but I still miss you like it was yesterday.

Then mice wanted to take over the country so they ran after me (I think that person was me) and put me through a mouse like maze where I had to hide and at the end when they were about to smash me with a big red hammer I promised them representation on the parliament and the right to vote, since they felt ignored in our society. They we're happy. Idk where I got that power.

[hinamie]

to moving forward

[saints-who-never-existed]

“In the war film, a soldier can hold his buddy—as long as his buddy is dying on the battlefield. In the western, Butch Cassidy can wash the Sundance Kid’s naked flesh—as long as it is wounded. In the boxing film, a trainer can rub the well-developed torso and sinewy back of his protege—as long as it is bruised. In the crime film, a mob lieutenant can embrace his boss like a lover—as long as he is riddled with bullets. 

Violence makes the homo-eroticism of many “male” genres invisible; it is a structural mechanism of plausible deniability.”

–Tarantino’s Incarnational Theology: Reservoir Dogs, Crucifixions, and Spectacular Violence. Kent L. Brintnall.

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

[indigo6f00ff]

need to share an experience i had 30 minutes ago

(edit: thanks to @walks-the-ages for providing and reminding me to put alt text, sorry it slips my mind alot lol)

[sporesgalaxy]

i shouldnt be at the club i should be at a monastery. illuminating texts and shit

[panthermouthh]

“Accursed creator! Why did you form a monster so hideous that even you turned from me in disgust?”

[egophiliac]

can't believe that skeleman has turned on us, and Halloween Prom is tomorrow.

(what a top-tier UM...we are about to be just totally obliterated in the absolute silliest way. what possible use could this power have outside of bringing us to the brink of utter holiday disaster.)

[gasoline0816]

[hmura-hmara]

Something about Luke being the spitting image of his father

[hellsitegenetics]

When I followed you earlier today and then realized this blog wasn't even two days old it made me feel like I invested in a startup.

Do you think if you did the lyrics for Fireflies by Owl City, your database would give us fireflies? (Will also accept owls. And there's a line about sheep too).

String identified:

t t t t a a 'Ca t' t a A a ta ' t t t ta a ta ' t a Tat at at t t' a t a tat ' at ta Aa ' a 'Ca tg a t 'Ca ' gt a ta g t ta gtg g A t t t tac t ac A tt a a A c at A c a t agg a ta ' t a Tat at at t t' a t a tat ' at ta Aa ' a 'Ca tg a t a a a t a cac (a ta aa ) 'Ca c a ac (a ta aa ) t ctg (a ta aa ) ' a t t t a a T t ' 'ca at g gt t a t a a t ' a a a gt a a 'Ca a a a t a a ' t a Tat at at t t' a t a tat ' at ta Aa ' a 'Ca tg a t a a ' t a Tat at at t t' a t a tat ' at ta Aa ' a 'Ca tg a t a a ' t a Tat at at t t' a t a tat ' at ta Aa ' a ca a a tg at t a

Closest match: Sepia lycidas genome assembly, chromosome: 36 Common name: Kisslip cuttlefish

[malinaa]

if i think about the hunger games in peeta's perspective i WILL start sobbing

[chloesimaginationthings]

Michael Afton knows the FNAF Mimic’s secret..

[ruporas]

need to exist in your warmth (id in alt)

[mxmarsbars]

he’s so gorgious

speedran this trend on twitter dot com ^.^ I love turning middle aged men into cutie pies

[lenin-it-to-win-it]

kirk will never beat the "gays can't drive" allegations