#it can't even get like 3 likes on discord that aren't from just my friends bro 😭 it's so. ugh.

[thetrashyflower]

I always get like so weird when ppl compliment my art. Like I just cannot believe that they are being genuine even if they get specific abt it. I just think everyone is lying to me to make me feel better about how shit from an butt it is

[landoom]

McLaren situation

Just some little thoughts...

Today, we got good results for the team and both drivers and still, here we are with all the drama, hate and criticism again.

I think we should remember that we are now living the times we have been wishing for for decades, years or months and we should enjoy that!

Of course, the team and drivers being successful comes with other expectations, and other stressful moments... But that is part of the sport!

Of course, some of us are fans of both drivers, some of one or another, some like the drivers better than the team or the other way around. But at the end of the day, the drivers and the team are a package deal. We have to accept that.

As a fan of both Lando and Oscar, I want Lando to win, I want Oscar to win. But I know I can't have both.

As a RPF shipper, I know that drivers' relationships aren't like in the fanfics all the time.

Still, I try to see the whole picture not only about the moment but about F1 in general.

I know that I'm older than most of other people here, that I have been following F1 for longer. I don't wan't to sound like I'm bragging about that because that is an advantage as I understand things differently but also a weakness as I sometimes compare the actual F1 to the past and that's not always the right thing to do.

Still, seeing Lando's fans angry at Oscar today, I couldn't help but remember the time when team orders had been banned (more or less successfully) and realise that, today, we tend to forget that drivers are selfish, careless idiots (affectionate) at heart. That is why they are F1 drivers.

Oscar's move was bold, a bit risky. But we are looking at it from the comfort of our couch, with a nice drink and heavily influenced by whatever our commentator is saying.

Oscar was in the car, in a high adrenaline moment, wanting to win, to prove himself, to reach his ultimate objective and told by the team he could go for it.

Our way of analysing the race events is valid but it's only an outside POV and, in my opinion, it should never be an excuse to go on full hating towards another human being!

I was told by someone on Discord that I was biased because I love Oscar and see him as a good guy. That is not untrue but that doesn't cover it all.

Another thing lots of fans seem to forget is that supporting a driver doesn't mean that you should hate on all the ones battling with him or that you aren't able to see his wrongs.

Another little nostalgia moment but I was a HUGE Michael Schumacher fan. And Jerez 1997 was a hard time for me. I was 13 by then, able to understand nuances and conflicting feelings. And still, seeing my favourite pull out a nasty dangerous move on another driver made me feel lost. How could I like him when he could do this?

I chose to acknowledge that I still loved him despite this. That I wasn't okay with that particular action but would still support him. Because he's a human and no human is perfect.

A friend of mine stopped supporting him from that day. And their feelings were valid, too. But they never painted Michael as an awful person still. They just thought that he wasn't someone they could be a fan of.

You can feel like that about Lando and/or Oscar. Support one of them only in his rights and wrongs. Or support them both inequally.

Everything is valid... Only hurtful aggressive hate isn't.

Also, I wish we could remember that watching a sport is a hobby. Not a life-depending event.

If Lando isn't WDC at the end of the season, it could be devastating depending on the conditions. But we will still have a life. Even for him, it will be an ordeal but he can get over it! Many others did it before and will do it after.

Perhaps the Landoscar relationship (non-RPF) we are having now won't survive. As fans of them both, we will be sad... But it happens... It always happened and will happen again.

Don't let your passion for F1 make you feel bad, sad, angry or make a hater out of you. It's not worth it <3

[pakunod-a]

Idia Shroud, who..

...can't fathom how you ever got around to talking to him. He was convinced you were too good for him.

...seems to be a bit more gloomy than usual.

—oh, no, it's not you. He just can't process how such a lovely human being could ever be his friend.

...can't believe it's been so long since you've first DM'ed him. He didn't even have to do anything at all.

...has a hard time believing you wouldn't up and find someone else to befriend. You're.. probably his first genuine friend. Why wouldn't you want to stay good friends with him?

...is your closest online friend. You've met a little short over a year ago, and now he's a little too attached.

...is one of your closest confidants. Despite not being friends with you in person, you trust him with major things, like your game accounts, your Magicord account, your IP address <3

...is your duo on most games. You support him, and oftentimes, he lets you carry.

...doesn't trust you when you say that your "friends" are only with you to hang out. They must have ulterior motives, no?

...is very, very fortunate he installed an app that lets him see through your webcam. You were so ethereal, it was unbelievable.

...thinks you look like a masterpiece crafted by the very hands of a god themselves. This is who he's been talking to all this time? He's breath-taken.

...starts slowly getting insecure every time you try and turn down his offers to game together. His mind starts going to the worst possible places imaginable.

...can't have you getting any ideas of leaving him. You're basically his best friend, dare I say his platonic? lover. You put your Minecraft beds together. You went to the Heart Island on Genshin Impact with him. He does all your dailies for you whenever you aren't available, and vice versa. You're practically married at this point.

...is waiting for the right time to strike. Not now, but soon. You shouldn't suspect it. If he fails, he risks losing his beloved friend.

...monitors you closely. It's just a matter of time, you know. After all, you're playing hard to get. And Idia does love a good challenge.

...watches your every move. You like to sing in the shower, don't you? You sound so talented.. undeserving of someone like him. You enjoy the company of cats? How coincidental.. he does too. You have so much in common already.

...has your room set up next to his. You'll live with him, eventually. When he finds the courage to do it.

Idia Shroud, who will forever be your Player 1. Won't you be his Player 2, too?

long note below here, skip if not interested

A/N: hello :)

it's been a while, how have you all been?

i apologize for being on a hiatus of some sort. and for the rushed and short idia post T-T

it's going to be the start of a busy year for me, i am graduating after all.

i have lots of posts i need to publish and rewrite, but unfortunately my schedule is too packed, and the only times i feel free enough to write are after-school hours, which are 8 pm - 12 am for me.

i might just end up reuploading more fics from my old blog, or writing a bit more for other series i'm into. (hxh, obey me, twst, mlbb, genshin, and hsr <3 perhaps trese if anyone's heard about it? 👀)

but if i ever come back to posting, what kind of content would you guys like to see?

my requests and inbox(?) are always open. please do drop by and say hello, or drop a request you would like to see written by me. i find that requests or ideas from others often get my brian going.

if you wish to find me elsewhere, my tiktok and my discord users are both pakunod.a :)

i would like to come back again with posts for you to read, or a few of my practice drawings for you to see.

perhaps in the future. :)

as always, stay safe, keep yourself healthy, stay hydrated, and always love yourself. <3

- 1, Yuan

[leonenjoyer69]

how do you write. (specifically fics)

i have like some ideas currently but i havent brought myself to write anything yet at all 😭

also any tips/advice you find helpful would be cool too

Vjejfiejkf ty for this ask, I'm actually so honored--

First of all, I tend to write everything on my phone in a writing app, bc I'm not about that Laptop life, but otherwise, uh, I'll throw this into two categories--

Oneshots: generally for one shots I get beamed with an idea and immediately go Yap about it, either on my server or with one or two specific people that I know will help me develop it via feedback :3

then, I generally jot down a synopsis of what I have so far and random little ideas of what I want to include, usually so I can return later and know wtf I was thinking to do next. I have a good few WIPs where I didn't end up doing that, and guess who doesn't know how to continue them now, so yeah, always do AT LEAST a brief little synopsis. Also goes for multi chapter fics, ofc. They also don't have to be serious or anything, like, this was the thing up top for my mind jekyon fic:

Very silly, but it gets the whole idea and big points across.

Multichapter fics: okay, this one's,,, a decent bit different, mainly bc I have my girlfriend (who also edits my stuff) plotting things for A Little Identity bc I'm actually really bad at plotting and pacing longer stuff.

I usually go to her with ideas and future plans and she'll dive deeper into the ideas I have for the next chapter I need to write so I have more guidance, makes things much easier for me, bc I get stuck less.

But, this could also probably be substituted once more by must talking with someone you think could help you develop it. Feedback and extra ideas are a writer's best friend! Go yap about your ideas! Especially with someone you know will bounce ideas back with you!

Motivation to write tho,,,, I have a few things.

-listening to a playlist or songs that remind you of a character or certain scenario you wanna write about. I have a character playlist for each of my tgs OCs, and then one for A Little Identity in general, and there are a few songs I straight up associate with future chapters that I can't even talk about yet. They form a whole little scene in my head, and having that makes it much easier to write it. Additionally, when I maybe get stuck with characterization, I'll go listen to that specific characters playlist. Music is your best friend! I've gotten beamed MANY ideas from songs, at random sometimes too.

-do a sprint with sprinto! It's a discord bot that gives you a 15 minute timer and takes your starting and ending word count and calculates it, ranking it against anyone else who did the sprint with you. It's very good for more competitive people, and it's a very nice thing to have on a server. I've seen it get people out of a writer's block on my server, so it's certainly nice to use.

-let the writing drive come to you. I won't lie, most days just aren't writing days for me. The English language will allude me, I'll get stuck on where I want to go next, dialogue will destroy me, etc.

I think writing is just kinda like that sometimes, so just write what you can when you can! If you have a main fic you feel you need to update but also a bunch of little oneshots, then work on whatever you feel the drive to! There's no point in trying to force yourself to work on one thing when you have a bunch of ideas for another thing-- the most important thing is that you wrote in general.

The time will come when you get the motivation and ideas for that other thing, so just do what you can when you can, writing is writing :3

-reread what you've already written, or if it's a fanfic, reread/watch the source material. I can't tell you the number of times rereading all of Lanyon's lore pages has given me new ideas with Elias, as well as just reading through old stuff or incomplete oneshots that have my OCs and such. Sometimes you just need a refresher!

-read other fics. This generally helps see how other people format things, which can sometimes help when you're struggling. Sometimes I'll also search for stuff that has specific things that I don't know how to describe very well.

Andddddd I think that's all I've got? Hopefully this helps people, so go out and write! There's never enough fan fics 🙏thank you again for the ask :3

[dr-spectre]

man i saw your last two posts and i wanted to tell you, you're not cringe, and you're not unlovable

i've had like, one full conversation with you going back and forth on both shared and unshared interests and it had a profound effect on me at the time

I need to unlearn shame, i need to be more open with what i fixate on and what i'm doing (and also the realization i'm definitely on some kind of spectrum), from one chat with someone *loud and proud* like you, how fucking crazy is that?

I hardly know you personally, but it's not hard to gauge how awesome you are, in face of your perceived faults, several of which i share myself, you yap so much but you're so genuine and passionate i and pretty much everyone who sticks here loves to read it, it never gets old, it never gets annoying

you put your whole pussy into innocuous little things about the subject matter, and it's a wonderful thing

you can find friends, you can find love, and you deserve both of those things

this is a little long but it's sentiments i've had for awhile now but no good opportunity to share......

I.... I..... WHA.

WHAT DO I EVEN SAY TO THIS?!?!?! YOU CAN'T DROP THIS IN MY INBOX LIKE THAT!!!

LISTEN... ITS JUST.... I aint awesome!!! Im some 20 year old autistic dude who's too obsessed with a squid woman! How's that awesome!!?!?!? I haven't made an impact on anything... not on the community... not on inkipedia... not on anyone... I have 300 followers... that's nothing...

...or have i?!?! There's no way I could have had an impact on someone... hell even SEVERAL PEOPLE! I just overanalyse stuff that seems so cut and dry but... people are actually positive about my stuff? People say to me that I changed the way they see this important character to me.... BUT THERE'S NO WAY RIGHT?!?!? I still feel like a drop in the ocean. Just a spec of dust!!! I haven't made real change yet... OR HAVE I?! I DON'T KNOW!!! WAAAHHHH!!!

Maybe.... maybe if I have changed one person's perspective, then maybe it was worth it in the first place...

You know. I wanna say that the reason I came to tumblr was because my irl friends aren't into Splatoon and my family gives me a meh shoulder shrug to my interest. It was so difficult for me to explain Splatoon to my parents when Splatoon 3 came out and I picked up the game at launch! So I went here because I felt like it was the best place to express myself. And yeah I'm glad I stuck with it honestly.

I get why my irl friends aren't into Splatoon, they need to buy a multi hundred dollar console that's about to get replaced soon just to play 2 games. And trying to explain to them Nintendo Wii U and Switch emulation is just... I dont even wanna attempt that HAHAHAHA!!!! So I often felt lonely and it felt like I was screaming into a void when talking about Splatoon to them in a discord server. I guess that's where my sense of loneliness comes from.....

I genuinely have NO ONE in real life to talk to about my interests and have someone ACTUALLY listen. I guess that's why I feel cringe and not cool at all. My interests are so nerdy and I'm on the spectrum, my social skills are like D tier. I genuinely cannot talk about myself, i really cant. Its why i have never been in a romantic relationship before.... As a 20 year old dude, that shit fucking stings I'm not even gonna lie. I think about that shit every day. LITERALLY EVERY DAY I'M NOT LYING!!!!

But anyways, I'm getting way too personal on the internet. I don't wanna be some sad sap.

Thank you. Seriously, thank you. I'm not sure if I truly feel like I deserve love but. Thank you anyways. I guess it is a good quality to have that I can ramble and yap and become really focused on something, even if it's not adult things like... getting a job, paying taxes or whatever HAHAHAHA!

[kinja145]

The evil has been defeated ; the french translation of DLTD is complete !!!!!!!

It has been almost 9 years since I started it. I was in my first year of highschool when I started, I've gratuated, I went to university for 3 years, graduated again, and now I'm working. It has been a long, long thing to do. I did it with passion, but sometimes I feel like I wasn't as much implicated in the translation of some chapters compared to others, but I still loved it from start to end. Sometimes I wonder how I managed to stay so implicated and how I didn't just abandon the project ! But at the end, DLTD is always somehwere in my thoughts, I just can't escape it lol DLTD is a story, a fandom, I can't quite seem to leave. I've been way less into it these past few years, but everytime I came back to it, it felt like home and it still does. I think I've felt almost every emotion with DLTD, and I'm not just talking about the first part, but DLTD as a whole. I don't have the words to drescribe how much this story means to me, how it changed my brain chemistry.

I know the story isn't perfect, God knows I can tell that. But I just accept it with its flaws and kind of cringe parts that are so reminiscent of 2010s ! Without DLTD there is no drawings from me, or at least less, and probably not so much progression. So DLTD saved my imagination in a way, even tho time and energy is missing now that I'm working but I still love to draw for it. Thinking back on those 8 years, I'm amazed to see how obsessed I was with it. I did a comic adaptation of the first chapter, an ending, a parody I never finished with Daniel, dozens of fanart, a discord (that didn't really work but it's still out there !). I met lot of people, including my beta reader YuuKyun whom I haven't heard from for almost 3-4 years now. I really, really hope she is okay and will reappear someday. Big kudos to her, she was so helpful in the early years ! This translation wouldn't exist without @burakkuenjeru19. She is the reason I even started translating it. So kudos to her. She also listened to me yapping about DLTD for all those years, and yapped back so yeah, really kudos. This story has literally marked me. Even today, we still quote the lizard in the toaster from chapter 2 with my friends (iconic !), and more parts of the story. We had so so much fun reading the story together, giving each other a character to voice. We did it again a few weeks ago for old time sake, and it was still so wholesome !! The chapters aren't all out right now, but I'll start posting one chapter per day in december. Wich makes me think ; ever since 2016, I've always had at least 10 chapters of advance on the publication. I think I can take pride in that uwu As for DLTP, I don't know for now if I'll get to it. It's just a whole lot of work, way more than the first part. But I feel like I'll miss it so maybe there's a world where I start the translation of it too. I'm just not making any promesses !

And to end this post, I have to thanks the one and only : @hateweasel

I don't even know what to say to thank you, Hate. You brought to me and to many more people so much with your story and your imagination. Your interest for the surnatural stuck with me and you put it so well into the story, I just love the fact that you don't represent surnaturals as monsters. Yeah, they're people too. I just love this concept !!

I was so, so scared the first time I sent you a message here to ask the permission to post the translation. I think I read my message like 10 times to make sure that there wasn't any mistakes... And then, you helped me tons of time with words, sentences, and parts I didn't get. And you let me have so much liberty with the adaptation of the story in my language, it was really, really great from you, thank you !!

We started talking a lot at some point even with jet lag, and it was really great even tho we had multiple conversation at the same time lol

You made me discover a lot of things outside of DLTD with your blog too, and I'm thankfull for that too.

I just can't thank you enough, and I think everyone else who has read and loved DLTD can say the same. Thank you again, Hate (especially if you read all that) !!!

I'm going to keep on posting the last chapters, and then post drawings here and there I guess, now. Until then, farewell duckies !!

[mcrcki]

here i come with another MASSIVE event plotting / starter call (this time with over 20 characters bc who even am i) !! before i get too much into event stuff, i just wanna put up some housekeeping things so i'm not just repeating myself over and over in the discord : i will be dropping almost all of my pre-event threads. meaning, i will only be keeping the thread if it is an active plot that needs to be continued because we aren't at a place to infer the ending. i am just so utterly overwhelmed with my number of drafts that i really need to just start fresh, so i'll be using this as my chance to spam the heck out of y'all's calls and get way more threads that i actually have muse for. i'm sorry if we had a thread you really wanted to continue, i just need a fresh start. now for housekeeping for my call, as always this will be capped. i wanna write with everyone but i can't if i get a million requests from one person so!! the cap is three starters per writer!! blind date starters will not count towards that cap. otherwise, please LIKE for plotting messages, and REPLY for starters (pls specify muses unless previously discussed!!)!

in the meantime, if you wanna see what my clowns are wearing, please follow this link to my pinterest :))

alani tiure | star wars | blind date w. cami o'connell ( 3 / 4 )

she/they pronouns : imma be so for real and say that they think they're absolutely too good for this lmao, their dad is a crime lord in the city, and really they're just here to take advantage of some free drinks and maybe check in on some clients. her date is going to have to be okay with her being slightly stuck up but will absolutely be down for some dancing despite it. potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : sofia robbin sloan torres, ellie williams, cami o'connell

beatrice | over the garden wall | date w. wirt ( 1 / 4 )

she/they pronouns : going with her favorite boy loser, wirt. definitely here just for the free party and to do something fun, now that she's human again she's taking advantage of all the things they missed out on as a bird. will definitely be here to make friends, they're a little rude at times but i promise they're kind when you get past the kind of rude exterior !!! down for shenanigans !! potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : xiao chiye

branwen | a court of thorns and roses | blind date w. enola holmes ( 1 / 4 )

she/her pronouns : winnie LOVES THIS, she hasn't gotten to have fun in pretty dresses in ages, she was still young the last time they were able to have any kind of formal party so they're really enjoying this. she wants to see everything this party has to offer so she'll be dragging her date around everywhere, wanting to take it all in potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : he xuan

daniela dimitrescu | resident evil | blind date w. jeremy smith ( 2 / 4 )

she/they pronouns : ok tbh, daniela only came to this and signed up for a blind date to possibly grab an easy snack. they're a man-eating monster idk what anyone expected here. but tbh, once they saw the girl she's actually simping over (and will not make a move yet for one reason or another) they're going to be flirting and going so far to make her jealous, it doesn't matter with who tbh. also open to some absolute chaos if you wanna do something Bad potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date (for murder purposes)

starters : myri tiure, henry creel

danika fendyr | crescent city | flying solo ( 3 / 4 )

she/they pronouns : listen danika like.. just got here, she's just getting used to the city and her memories again with her friends, since so much happened back home. she's spending the majority of her time crashing her bestie's date, for various reasons, but will be out on the floor dancing and drinking as much as she wants, enjoying the hell out of a free party potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : bryce quinlan, apple caramela, hunt athalar

elain archeron | a court of thorns and roses | date w. lucien vanserra ( 2 / 4 )

she/her pronouns : this is elain's first ball in the city, and she's very much looking forward to a night where she can just dress up in a beautiful dress and dance with her husband. things have been... rough with her family unit so she's just happy to let loose a little bit and enjoy everyone's company and dance the night away potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : lu junyi, lucien vanserra

evangeline ennar | throne of glass | blind date w. choi nam ra ( 2 / 4 )

she/her pronouns : evangeline grew up in a high fantasy world, getting dressed up in fancy clothes for a ball is all she could've hoped for coming here, and now she's old enough to really enjoy it, she is going to be having the best time for real. will be helping her mom glare at her not dad, but other than that, she would love some friends so just dance around with all night potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : choi nam ra, aedion ashryver

kaya dura | star wars | blind date w. lola flemming ( 2 / 4 )

they/she pronouns : kaya is not really in the dating and dancing mood, they are still getting over their ex after a very hard breakup, where her ex killed her and all that fun stuff. so, they're really trying to like.. get themselves out there and get over her, so they signed up for this blind date and are forcing themselves out into public again. will probably get drunk for the first time and just want to forget everything to have fun potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : kaiden monsula, kasil monsula

keelan cardulo | fourth wing | date w. mira sorrengail ( 0 / 4 )

she/they pronouns : lowkey her and mira's first public appearance as a couple, especially after everything that happened back home that resulted in keelan's death, she is very much looking forward to getting to dance with their girlfriend and just enjoy that. is a bit anti social if they don't know you, so when mira is inevitably somewhere else, find them hanging to the shadows potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters :

leia organa | star wars | date w. han solo ( 3 / 4 )

she/her pronouns : mom and dad night out!!! leia's a mom of six now, and while ya know four of the six are adults with some having children of their own, and the other 2 are less than six months old, she just wants to have a little fun. the past year has been.. hard. and despite being the president and having to be here for this ball, she would so much rather be home right now, avoiding all the memories that valentine's day now brings out in her mind. last year was the worst night of her life and she will in fact be drinking a lot to forget all that bastilla did a year ago. #thereturnoffloorgana potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : din djarin, ahsoka tano, winter celchu

louise vance | harry potter | date w. thea hughes ( 4 / 4 )

she/they pronouns : a party???? hell yeah lou is gonna be there, they love this whole vibe. will 100% be testing the limits of security and trying to ride the t rex skeletons and any other shenanigans they can get into. they're here with their best friend in the whole world, thea, and they're definitely just friends, if you see them slow dancing really close that's just what besties do potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : thea hughes, emmeline vance, bucky barnes, willie

marlene mckinnon | harry potter | flying solo ( 2 / 4 )

she/they pronouns : marlene lowkey is working this, and will be having fun but trying to stay focused on her job. she's unaware currently so, they'll just be hanging around with whoever is kind of hiding in the outskirts of the party, could absolutely be convinced to dance/will flirt given the chance, but mostly just here to have a fun day at work potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : dora tonks, esther mckinnon

morrigan | a court of thorns and roses | date w. cassandra dimitrescu ( 2 / 4 )

she/her pronouns : this thing with cassandra has been a bit of a whirlwind romance, and she's found herself really swept up in the other, and will absolutely be spending a lot of her time in their arms. but considering how her family life has been lately, she will also be checking in on family and doing what she can to make sure reporters aren't going too wild with everything going on with rhys and her family. potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : cassandra dimitrescu, rhysand

omega archeron | star wars | date w. kirei monsula ( 1 / 4 )

she/they pronouns : if i had a nickel for every time one of my muses is on a date with their best friend and convincing themselves it's not a date, i'd have 2 nickels-- anyways, omega will be here, fulfilling her role as senator archeron's messy as hell kid, and drunk as shit nearly getting kicked out for shenanigans around the maze, and also perhaps drunkenly making out with their best friend kirei that they've been pining after for years. potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : hunter

rosemary winters | resident evil | flying solo ( 1 / 4 )

she/they pronouns : now for my girl that knows she's in love with her best friend but her best friend doesn't know her and is here with another girl!!!!! honestly rose will be in a corner getting so drunk, glaring daggers at mouse's date and wanting nothing more than to be the one dancing with them. please come try to drag them out of this slump they are sulking HARD potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : lyra ayala

rowena ravenclaw | harry potter | date w. hunter ( 1 / 4 )

she/her pronouns : rowena is uneasy after the last masquerade that happened in the city, and last valentine's day, and will be spending a fair amount of time at hunter's side until she realizes that this is actually safe, that things are normal and she can cut loose a little. will be spending a lot of time dancing and mingling, happy to talk to anyone who needs some friendly conversation, even if she may just info dump at you. is VERY excited that this is at the museum and may spend more time wandering the exhibits than actually dancing. potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : arnold

sella palpatine | star wars | date w. allana solo ( 4 / 4 )

she/her pronouns : oh sella is LIVING FOR THIS. valentine's day is her fucking holiday and she will be making up for how hellish the last one was. considering the fact that her and allana have yet to have a single good date on a holiday, she is going to be spending as much time as possible making her girlfriend twirl her around the dance floor. if anyone needs a dancing partner, sella will also let you spin her :)) she is just here to get a little tipsy and enjoy all the love in the air potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : rey palpatine, steve rogers, sion val palpatine, allana solo

sophie hatter | howl's moving castle | date w. howl pendragon

she/they pronouns : once again, sophie has been dragged to one of these parties because their husband loves these things far more than she does. howl dressed them, and as long as he agreed to a babysitter, sophie agreed to come to this. they are not the biggest dancer, a bit too self conscious to put themselves out there like that, she doesn't like drawing attention to herself. which is difficult when your husband is wearing a glittery pink suit but... potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : cindy moon

sorrel blackbeak | throne of glass | flying solo ( 2 / 4 )

she/they pronouns : i am planning on letting sorrel get their memories back during the event so she's going to be having a little bit of a time trying to find the rest of the thirteen and reunite now that her memories are back. once that's sorted though, she will be a little anti social but if someone asked her to dance, they're not one to say no. potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : asterin blackbeak, manon blackbeak

tatum riley | scream '96 | blind date w. conrad fisher ( 2 / 4 )

she/her pronouns : tatum is just trying to put herself out there, to enjoy some good things in the city, even if she's a little on edge with just throwing herself into a blind date roulette, she knows she's gotta get out of her comfort zone so she's going to make the most of this party and enjoy the heck out of it. even if that means someone's gotta drive her ass home cause she's gonna be gone potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : sam carpenter, jake wheeler

vesta starkos | star wars | blind date w. riley matthews ( 1 / 4 )

she/they pronouns : listen vesta is unaware and super normal right now, and she wants to dance with a pretty girl. even if she's a little sus of all the people who keep staring at her like they know her, they just wanna dance and have a little fun, to cut loose instead of thinking about school. is up for some shenanigans and drunken adventures if people are down potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : ramona flowers

victoria sutherland | twilight | date w. james witherdale ( 2 / 4 )

she/her pronouns : vic will never pass up an opportunity to dress sexy and dance on her mate, she has absolutely zero shame and does not care who is watching them. she also loves to use these events as a perfect little hunting ground. vic will probably be upset that it's not turning into a nightmare but, she can make it a nightmare if she really gets that bored. until then? she will be annoyingly hanging all over her mate all night. potential plots ➛ drinking (not alcohol) || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date (for a drink ;) )

starters : heidi volturi, bella swan

violet sorrengail | fourth wing | date w. xaden riorson ( 2 / 4 )

she/her pronouns : did violet show up to this ball 90 minutes late, looking very flushed? yes. is she going to talk about it at all? absolutely not, her siblings are here and her friends can infer what's going on. now that she's here, vi will be happy to dance and enjoy the party with her friends and just get a few moments of normalcy considering the ticking timebomb her life has turned into, she is going to be savoring any moment of normal young adulthood with her family and friends thank you potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : sgaeyl, xaden riorson

[mxbo]

Me yapping about something that happened on TF2 today

I was playing casual TF2 with a friend now that there aren't as many bots (I SUCK like REAL BAD, so no way we're going to community servers, I would get OBLITERATED the second I stepped on one, also a lot of players on community servers dislike F2Ps for existing) and found a player who shares names with my light and it was really awesome

[ID: Meme recreating the interaction. There's me, my bestie, the random player we encountered and batman in the background because he was also there. My bestie says: “OMG! *redacted name*” and I reply: “Voice communication is not available for this account”]

(BTW, me and my bestie are not drawn with specific cosmetics, it's just our OC's/sonas dressed as the classes we were playing lol. Yes, he was pocketing me because I'm just THAT bad)

(BTWBTW, we didn't actually talk with them, just mentioned it in our private call because like it would be super weird to go “hey, you have my love's name”. Super creepy HASHSj. Worst case scenario, they wouldn't believe I actually have a partner and think I'm hitting on them or something. And women and people who pass as feminine because of username/voice already suffer enough on FPS games with people either insulting them or simping for them and not seeing them actual players but objects. Like I'm not risking (potentially) making their day worse ykwim)

Anyway, they had pink cosmetics and I think I shot a rocket at them at some point because I thought they were RED AHSA *insert video about the problem with team recognition*.

[ID: Screenshot of the random player with their name obviously censored not because of them, but because it would reveal my love's name and, like, I haven't consulted if I can just say it in a random Tumblr post AJSAHJ]

There was also a Soldier who had all the batman cosmetics and dominated me because of course JHS (they were super good at rocket jumping). I sadly didn't take a screenshot (THEY WERE SO FAST AND KILLED ME, I COULDN'T TAKE A SCREENSHOT) </3

Also, yeah, I'm a F2P until MY BESTIE DECIDES TO PAY FOR MY FRICKING PREMIUM UEYDEUEHR (hopefully this or next week).

Hate that I'm mute for the time being, tho. Because Valve thought not letting F2P accounts speak would solve the bot crisis for some reason some years ago. SPOILER: It didn't work, it just made the bots more difficult to identify and ruined the experience of a bunch of players (kids, people who can't pay for TF2 like me, and people who just play for fun and don't want to throw money at a corporation, which is completely valid). Thanks, Valve.

But also love the fact I own the title of worst TF2 F2P, like, that way nobody expects anything from me.

My steam profile backs this up btw

[ID: My user says “world's worst tf2 player” and my description “I suck at tf2 it's not even funny”. Also, my pfp is the spongebob crying meme edited to have my OC's hair and Soldier's helmet and says “I PROMISE I'LL DO BETTER” in the funny impact font]

I'm genuinely bad (reason why I play Soldier) BUT I HAVE SO MUCH FUN PLAYING TF2, I LOVE THIS GAME EVEN IF I GET KILLED EVERY X SECONDS (x being equal to the time I take to respawn).

I want to meet more noobs like me and play with them while on a Discord call and learn together (would also help me with my English, probably, if they're not hispanophone).

Or maybe even players who know what they're doing and teach me (but they need to have patience with me because I'm a SLOW learner and barely know how to WASD lmao, my spacial awareness in videogames is just like in real life: 0).

Someone interested? 🤨

No, Rom, nobody's interested, nobody cares LMAO, just go back to making userboxes and stamps and drawings and stuff

[koolades-world]

DAMN SO IM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO HAD A DU TO OBEY ME PIPELINE. that fandom made me worse and i think it made my life go downhill (/hj). i was so mean like we weren't all children with unrestricted internet access idk why i thought it was that serious </3 (sorry i was reading ur blog and saw a post responding to someone and i went "wait i minute" and had a few flashbacks)

OMG HEYYYY (more ex fandom ranting under the cut!)

first, welcome!! so glad you found a better fandom to migrate to and that you aren't stuck in the past like some people i knew. you are all good, no need to apologize. it's so crazy to me that i've encountered not one, but two ex du fans out in the wild! i thought there were about fifteen of us total lol. i know that war flashback feeling. was digging through old screenshots for something the other day and i found my stash and had to take a moment. sorry if some of this makes no sense or has odd flow. i'm word vomiting and i'm pretty tired rn (in the middle of drinking a matcha, coffee, and monster all at the same time). college has been sucking the life out of me, but i just had to answer this immediately

yeah it was absolutely wild man. i don't think anyone except like a few people liked me because to this day i'm still only friends with two of them. the way i was absolutely witched hunted i tell you :sob: i 100% made more enemies than friends. even my readers were mean, and i just took it all for some reason? i've been on tumblr for about a year and half now, and i haven't had a single mean fan, but back in the day, i think i had more than i can count. yes i was on wattpad for longer, but considering the ratio, that's crazy. i have about 2.2k followers here (love all of you guys mwa mwa) and i have zero mean fans. on wattpad i think i have like 260 something, and the fact that i cant count the amount of mean fans i had is insane. if i didn't have those friends, i would be convinced it was a fever dream. if you were on wattpad at the time, you'd understand how jarring the swap from that fandom to this one would be. fanfics are allowed? still kinda crazy to me actually. can't believe being an author is welcome here! im part of a zine now!!! i didn't think that was every going to happen. have no clue how the hell this pipeline happened, but hey! at least there's two examples lol. like i said before, i honestly cannot tell if it made me better or worse, but i can for sure think of all the ways it made me worse! haha.

yeah we were all kids with unrestricted internet access everyone was like 10 to 14. i was 13 or 14 when i entered the fandom and that was old LOL. can't believe i was the responsible adult in the room at 14! my now best friend was like 11 or so at the time. maybe its the trauma bonding or something, but we're basically siblings now. we are inseparable, package deal if you will. if you remember chev, i am exactly one day older than him lol <3 my favorite running joke but it also shows my age. the swap to this fandom was so odd, because now i'm a baby compared to everyone else lol. i can't believe i'm no longer a mediator or anything. this fandom is pretty unproblematic and it's so so refreshing to just be able to exist

if you knew who i was back in the day and didn't hate me, feel free to reach out! if you didn't still feel free to reach out haha. even if you didn't know me, you probably knew my best friend whether you liked it or not haha. i understand if you don't want to, but if you ever want to chat, i totally wouldn't mind! feel free to send me a dm and i can give you my discord. would be nice to get another outside perspective. if not, again, totally fine! have a wonderful day and hope you're recovering well. you're a fighter and deserve the best! hugs and kisses :)

[olderthannetfic]

This got very long and i understand if you delete without reading.

Earlier this year, I decided that I wanted to spend less time on social media and more time writing and catching up on my book/show backlog. But for some reason any time I say something about wanting to focus on my hobbies I get push back from a friend as if that translates to me avoiding them (it's not. I talk to them on a daily basis but a lot of that is them sending me videos/tweets they want me to look at) I don't know how to explain that I don't want to waste my minute free time when I have hobbies I want to work on/indulge in.

They're in Fandom too so it's not as if they're confused at the concept. IDK how to put it, but it makes me feel discouraged that I feel like I'm expected to sit around waiting in case they want to chat and that if I say I'm working on something it's not important and I need to pay attention to them now but if I message them then I'm interrupting because they don't want to have to stop what they're doing to answer me. This leads to me doomscrolling Twitter because at any second they might want to talk so I feel like I can't do anything else because I struggle at multitasking. I can't text someone and watch something at the same time or whatever.

I don't know what to do about this because when I try to mention that I'm busy or working on something it gets ignored or turns into an argument. I am at the point where I dread my messenger going off.

I'm asking you and your followers for any tips because I am at my wit's end and you all have always been an understanding bunch.

I don't want to be a hermit but sometimes I need a couple of hours to write or read on my own. This is someone I have known for years who i know very well so it's not as simple as "take a break from Fandom and do your own thing" though I suppose that is what my goal was this year. Which makes it feel worse because for years we were really supportive of each other's interests/creative works and now it feels more like I'm meant to be supportive of them and not the other way around.

I know this was long, so thank you for even reading it. I appreciate even being able to vent safely.

As I read over this to make it as vague as possible it occurs to me there are multiple issues that just came pouring out. 😑 but. . .how do I get someone to understand I should have SOME time to do my own thing? I am starting to feel like they forgot I'm a separate person from them. They even get upset that I write fic for fandoms they aren't in and I am so very tired of feeling like I need to walk on eggshells.

--

"This got very long and i understand if you delete without reading."

This sounds very unlike me.

Re the situation, it sounds to me like these friends are either not very good friends in the first place or have backslid into "everyone exists to comfort me" due to pandemic stress or the like.

My dad calls things like writing "chunk work" where you need to work up to getting in the flow and you need uninterrupted focus. The opposite are all those petty little tasks that eat your whole day, like answering trivial business e-mails or doing the dishes.

Whether you have an attention disorder or executive function problems or no, most brains fundamentally have different modes and aren't good at doing things like creative writing without some uninterrupted time. This has very little to do with how much time you do or don't spend with friends and a lot to do with more consciously managing your day and your brain.

If these friends refuse to understand this or conflate it with taking a month off from friendship, that's a them problem, and you need new friends.

It's perfectly normal and fine to send a meme or a random discord PM to a friend and for them to respond hours later because they were busy.

It seems like there are actually 3 things going on here:

Your "friends" are pretending they don't understand how high-focus tasks work.

Your "friends" demand you be available at the drop of a hat in a way that is unrealistic and that ruins most people's schedules.

Your "friends" would consider it a massive imposition to be on-call for you in the same way but learn zero lessons about it being unreasonable in the other direction.

Possibly a fourth is that they have no intention of changing how they interact with social media, and they know that if you do, it signals the end of your routine interactions. And this might be true. I've lost friends, at least for a few years, when our internet use diverged.

But there's no way around it: if you don't want doomscrolling eating your time, you need to extract yourself from friend circles that interact heavily in real time on twitter. You need friends who write e-mails and wait for the response or who send a PM and are happy to come back to the conversation once you've answered.

[sophieinwonderland]

circ is such 4 hypocrite. they cl4im to be pro endo 4nd then keep being friends with bigots (they're besties with J4S 4nd other people who've h4r4ssed you so its not surprising). even more recently they c4me out 4nd reve4led themselves to be one of the mods of the 4nti endo 4nd bigoted sysbox tumblr blog 4nd its so fucking dis4ppointed. i never re4lly liked them bec4use of how much they h4r4ss tulp4s but their recent post on th4t blog is such 4 new low. THEY H4VE SUCH PICK ME ENERGY. they're liter4lly joking 4bout being better 4nd more 'civil' th4n most pro endos 4nd endos (you know the people they SUPPOSEDLY support so much), which re-enforces stereotypes 4bout endo systems. they literally do not give 4 shit 4bout us or our rights 4nd i wish more plur4l collectives fucking stopped supporting them just bec4use they make 're4lly nice and friendly sysmed cdd system' their whole br4nd. they're like those people who 4spire to be 4 model minority. they dont c4re. they h4ve never c4red. they only c4re about their own 4cceptance and getting popul4rity but dont c4re 4bout the rest of the community. im so 4ngry. my littles who used to find their blog comforting 4re fucking he4rtbroken. i knew they were shit but im so 4ngry 4t myself for not being 4ble to protect my system. im so 4ngry on beh4lf of my system and on beh4lf of the whole plur4l community. we deserve better

https://www.tumblr.com/sysboxes/745040882164760576/which-mod-is-circular-bircular-arent-they-pro?source=share

i hope this is ok4y to send. im just re4lly angry and your blog h4s 4lw4ys been 4 s4fe sp4ce for us. th4nk you for everything you do btw. despite the h4te, you 4lw4ys keep posting 4nd fighting for our rights. my system 4dmires you [ ^-^] <3

I'm sorry you feel hurt and betrayed.

It's terrible to put your trust in someone and find out they aren't who you thought they were. But for what it's worth, I don't think you let your system down.

Life is about making mistakes and learning. You can't refuse to trust anyone just because you get burned in the past. Maybe it hurts now, but I don't think any lasting damage was done.

Personally, learning this... I find myself largely indifferent. I'm not at all surprised at this, knowing them. They've modded anti-endo discord servers, so why not an anti-endo sysbox blog?

My own feelings on Circ are complicated. I do not consider Circ safe for endogenic systems given their reblogs and support of anti-endos, and frequent parroting of anti-endo talking points.

At the same time, I actually do think their presence in anti-endo spaces has been a net positive for our goals in those communities. Circ has bragged a few times about making their anti-endo friends more pro-endo. And while I wouldn't say those friends became allies to the pro-endo community, many did switch to more neutral stances which I do think helped reduce hate against endogenic and pro endo systems in those spaces, and that seems like a good thing for me.

So I guess, while I don't care much for Circ as a person due to history there, I can acknowledge that their influence in anti-endo spaces ultimately serves my goals.

Besides, it's really upsetting some anti-endos so that's fun to watch! 😁

And you know, they have a point.

Like, if I was following a pro-endo blog and learned that one of the mods was anti-endo... and an anti-endo who bragged about making pro-endos more anti-leaning, I would be very suspicious of not just that one anti-endo but all the mods on that blog they were friends with.

How can you trust that your anti-endo sysbox mods haven't already been converted to the other side and aren't just lying to you about their syscourse stance???

Now you might think I'm just intentionally trying to spread mistrust and division among anti-endos by saying this... get them to turn on each other and tear themselves apart from the inside. And you'd be absolutely right! But that doesn't mean I'm wrong, and it doesn't mean me stating my motives aloud will make it any less likely to work!

And I would even like to say that I do appreciate the mod team on that blog being able to look past an alleged pro-endo's syscourse stance. Even if it's only for this one kind-of-hypocritical exception since they still refuse to interact with any other pro-endos.

Yes, I SophieInWonderland, endogenic tulpa, support sysboxes for having a pro-endo-identifying mod!

And since antiendovents crossposted in the inclusive plural tag, this is going straight into the anti-endo tags so the entire anti-endo community can see me expressing this support that I'm sure won't create any waves at all. 😈

[frownyalfred]

I know it can sound like a weird question, but I sincerely look up to you as a writer.

How do you keep motivation to write and plot such big/complex projects? And how do you have so much creativity to write so many things??

Thank you <333

Thank you anon! I definitely don't really feel like someone to look up to, but I really appreciate it.

Motivation is tricky. I would say it's generally fleeting -- what sticks around is habit. Building a routine where writing is an everyday (loose interpretation of the word) part of your life is important. It's kind of like finally settling into a good exercise routine; once you've really built a habit, it feels kind of awful to go without it for more than a few days.

Creativity is hard though. You can't always force it, routine or not. I've learned over the years what things or discussions spark creativity for me, such as discussing shows or movies with a friend, taking a walk and thinking through a plot, or scrolling through tumblr/tiktok to see what other people are talking about.

I think what helps me is that I'm slowly learning to be less critical about my work, and that leads to a much faster turn around on some fics. I often write things the same day I post them, and I'm okay when they don't do as well, because I got my thoughts down on paper and out, which is infinitely more important than sitting on them until they're perfect.

As for large or complex plots, I still struggle with this. I just messaged my beta this morning about borderline, who was (as they always are) infinitely useful. I think it helps to phrase plotting in terms of questions, possible answers, and problems. Waypoints and goals.

My problem today was simple -- how do I get from point A to point B in a realistic way? I had several potential answers and ten times as many issues with each one. They were able to offer a new answer that got my brain back on track, and it filled in the rest.

My advice, if you don't have an amazing beta like mine, is to find a friend or fellow fandom writer, or even a discord, to talk through your plotting with. Writers want to help you! So do readers. And even if the answers they offer aren't what you want, sometimes hearing what doesn't work tricks your brain into figuring out what does.

I will say that a not-insignificant part of my motivation in the past, and sometimes the present, is comments/asks. I really thrive on being validated with that kind of feedback, but I'm slowly learning to write without it or in the face of negative responses. It's a hard cycle to jump in and out of as a writer, because so much of the creative process can rely on readers or followers asking questions, expressing support, etc.

TL;DR: keep writing and make it a habit if possible. talk to fellow fandom creators and try to figure out what sparks ideas for you. and good luck <3

[ihateasthma]

Rant generally about cos

I fucking hate Official and Unofficial CoS(creatures of sonaria) CC'S(content creators) this will update in time

1 CoS CC's

2 give aways/auctions

3 the cos creators/community (the longest so far)

1 I've had so any bad experiences with the CoS community(on TikTok, Roblox and Discord), specifically the official cc's. around 2023 or 2024 I was chilling in an okay CoS server and I was with a friend. Me thinking I had private messaged my friend about how I just got told that I have a learning disability. you would think "oh someone just said lol to it and your making such a fuss!" an official cc that I didn't even know was an official cc called me the r-slur and told ppl i probably poop and pee in diapers. How do I know this? THE CC WAS TELLING PPL THIS AND GIVING OUT MY ROBLOX USER NAME CAUSING ME HAVING TO CHANGE MY WHOLE ROBLOX ACCOUNT

2 I dont mind Give aways/auctions but its the people who are either doing them or trying to win them. I can't say how many times I got bullied/mocked or told to kys bc my art "isn't good enough" which as someone who generally thinks their own art sucks and isn't good and "can't just get better" This fucking cemented those thoughts. Not only that but the ones I did win the person behind it tells me I'm too poor and don't win because I'm poor on cos....Which, by the way last time I checked give aways are suppose to help and give money or specs(creatures) to ppl who wins the give aways.. And I don't have much to say about Auctions but I see a crap ton of ppl getting scammed :(

3 the cos creators are way to blatantly money hungry. They have and still are milking everything about CoS even though they have 2 pages of games on their roblox group. The game is just unenjoyable in a public server at this point. The missions support ppl killing/kosing(kosing/kos is ppl killing ppl over and over, some kill just mutations, babies, specific creatures, or low teirs aka targets them), they have knowledge ppl go "ohh [a creatures name] is kinda..." like wtf. no don't simp for CREATURES THAT ARE ANIMALS. Not only what but they aren't doing anything about it some of the CoS creators support it(take it with a grain of salt because that's just from what I have heard!) The community doesn't look that bad on the surface but you don't have to dig that far or in some cases not at all to experience being targeted because of your creature, teir or even having a too much similar name to a CC, the Toxic players, the people who like their creatures a little. a lot too much. ECT. and god forbid ppl find out you're overweight or have a disability. I've seen to many nice ppl get death threats, r%pe threats, and even ppl telling them that they will DOX THEM BC THEY ARE DISABLED OR OVERWEIGHT.... the CoS community ruins generally nice people. And when it doesn't its bc they are faking to fit in t=with the community..

[nerdygaymormon]

I just found this blog and I'm so happy it exists. I was raised in the church and with the area I live in, LGBT+ people are "accepted" readily but at the same time... No one talks about it in relation to Members being Queer. It's like everyone ignores the fact that there is at least 1 queer member in the area because "Oh they aren't part of the church" or something. It's confusing and difficult to be out as anything other than CisHetAllo. I have found that as much as I try, and I feel better knowing about myself, I have found it increasingly difficult to talk about the same things in Online spaces compared to Church spaces. Something always seems to conflict, whether it is members not being particularly supportive of LGBT+ or those online judging Anyone who is a member. (I have had some people I consider[ed] friends make some... Negative... Remarks regarding the church and its members.)

I'm glad to see a space like this existing, where I know that I can be both Queer, and a Member of the church, without being "othered"

Thank you so much. <3

I'm sorry you're having a bit of a rough time of it, but you're right, unless someone is saying to everyone "Hey, I'm here and I'm queer," most Latter-day Saints assume there's absolutely no one at church who is LGBT+.

The LDS Church does have a reputation for being homophobic, so if I say I'm Mormon, other queer people will nod their head and say something about how they know that had to be so hard growing up. Also, the LDS church isn't exactly respected by other Christian denominations, they like to speak of it like it's the punchline of a joke.

A lot of people are becoming aware of the research that shows social media negatively affects young people's mental health and well being. It interferes with their sleeping habits and they spend less time in person with friends and developing their real-world social skills. Social media for youth is associated with problems like depression, cyberbullying, eating disorders. Calls are being made to place limits on the amount of time youth can spend online.

However, research shows there's one group of youth for whom social media has a beneficial impact, and that's LGBTQ youth. TikTok, Tumblr, Discord, YouTube, and so on, are a lifeline. They go from feeling completely alone and no one understanding what they're going through to suddenly discovering there's thousands of people who feel the same way, which is eye-opening and comforting. Not that it's universally good, we still run into hateful speech.

Social media allows LGBT people to explore their identities and find acceptance and emotional support. Some research shows there's a decrease in depression and suicidal thoughts for LGBT youth who are online. It gives them hope and a sense of control. Even when they do encounter harmful things online, they can turn it off, which they can't do with a school bully or family members saying offensive things.

I think for queer Mormons, the experience is even more so like that when you find other LGBT LDS people online. They get you in a way no one else truly does. It is like finding a second home with friends & family. It helps build our resilience. Representation matters. Reading words that are how I feel, that gives us hope and courage.

I'm glad you found my blog. I suggest doing a search for #queerstake, you'll find more posts from other queer Mormons and former Mormons. We even have a discord server we call queerward which is a lively place. I know for me it gives me a sense of belonging. If this was a ward or stake in real life, I would move so that I could be part of it, but it's online so I can access it wherever I am.

[anonthefold]

I will never understand aim botting or wall hacking in Quick Play. But I guess if winning is THAT important to you then whatever. I went to bed at a reasonable hour last night (12) and for one was the first in our group to leave (typically I'm the last).

Before I get into the sad news I've continued on my Genji/Widow bender and I'm having fun:

That soldier.... Either was aimlabs pro or sussy app aiming. The rest of the team was "extremely casual" to be nice about it. I switched to widow because it was the best way to deal with the soldier. Tl;Dr lost that game to a really good 76. It happens. You.lose games and it is ok to lose them. I popped off on widow but it just wasn't enough.

Now the sad news.

The married couple I have been playing with a lot the past few months are relocating to Japan for 3 years. I am happy for them first and foremost. This is going to be a wonderful adventure for both of them and their newborn daughter. They are big nerds like me and I love both of them dearly. We'd just hang out in discord and chat even when not playing Overwatch. I was going to meet them in person in September at my friend's wedding in Tucson and they aren't going to be there because of the relocation. And it kind of hit me last night. We were 6 in discord and rotated 1 person in after every game when the realization that this is going to be the last week we get to play Overwatch together. Granted they aren't disappearing out of my life but one of my friend languages is group activities. I really enjoy and get fulfillment from engaging in activities with my friends. That is just not going to be possible with the distance and servers we would be on. That makes me sad. Unpacking up to this point is very stressful to me but my therapist suggests I try to get better at vocalizing my feelings so bear with me because this is very difficult and I'm going to feel very guilty about it.

I feel like a common theme in my life is: get attached to people and then watch as they slip away from you and I can't help but feel like I'm the problem. Usually in statistics you look for commonality in problems to decipher the control. Usually having this discussion with my therapist they have tried to convince me that the only reason why I consider myself the problem is because I am recalling this experience from my pov. I have developed a nasty habit at blaming myself for bad things happening and excluding myself from good things happening. So I'm starting to not look at this negatively and looking at the positive that this is going to bring. I made two very valuable friends who I care about deeply and I'm excited to see them experience life in a new country. We can still talk with each other and maybe I'll get to visit them in Japan sometime in the future!

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 28/10/2023

Sidelined Symphony

Season 3 Featured on: The SiIvaGunner Spooktacular Halloween Horror Special Collection '17​-​'19

Ripped by l4ureleye

Part of Spooktacular Week! ● Requested by fezaki (Discord)

In all these Halloween events, there's obvious jokes that we all know to expect. Typical spooky music from video games, Five Nights at Freddy's the 8-BIt Beast, horror media, David S. Pumpkins, and so on and so forth. The events aren't always quite so all-encapsulating as to *only* be spooky-themed rips, but broadly speaking you know what to expect - the kind of rips I've posted in the last few days, that is. But amidst all of this, some rips get rather creative in the ways they celebrate the Season. And yes, I do know how ironic it is for me to be praising creativity when I'm here making my fourth post covering a Stickerbush Symphony rip, after Satinpanties Symphony, Stickerbrush State of Mind and Bramble Blast Collab. Look - they're all too good not to talk about, okay?

Sidelined Symphony falls in line with the many other excellent lo-fi rap mashups done by ripper l4ureleye, yet upon playing you'll no doubt recognize the man behind the vocal performance. Early in 2018, as Season 3 was just getting into gear, a very peculiar meme started circulating all around the internet - that of Burger King Foot Lettuce. It was borderline inescapable during the time, all thanks to the bizarrely straight-faced narration of such a ridiculous story by content creator Chills. The guy is seemingly very well off, with his own channel sitting above six million subscribers, and the channel he narrated the video for being similarly well off, yet...there's no doubt that being the target of a large-scale meme basically just about making fun of his voice likely got to him, mentally.

I can't speak to anything concrete about the situation, granted, other than that it seems like Chills is taking it well nowadays (and maybe always was) and is even embracing it through things like his cameo on Smiling Friends. Althesame, when August rolled around later in the same year, Chills released his first venture into music with Sidelined, a rather melancholic and openly emotional rap tune. With lyrics like "Been trying to get away for some time - part ways with the life I chose" - it gives the feeling that Chills was rather conflicted about the situation he was in.

All of that is to say, that seeing Chills' top comment in Sidelined Symphony's YouTube upload, thanking the SiIvaGunner team for the arrangement...it really warms my heart, and feels almost like a reconciliation. Even if there wasn't ever any true bad blood between Chills and the memes made of him, the rip serves as a reminder to us viewers that the guy is MORE than a walking meme - that he's an actual creative, a human being worth loving and cherishing. And that's easier to do than ever through the rip - Bramble Blast's emotionally poignant instrumentation and progression lends itself incredibly to the raw honesty of rap lyrics as the aforementioned Stickerbrush State of Mind already demonstrated, yet its given an entirely unique vibe in Sidelined Symphony thanks to all the other tweaks made to it. The lowered pitch of the original song, the sound effect samples from Super Smash Bros. Melee and Brawl, and the way the song knows when to let Sidelined take more emphasis in the song during the midway point of the rip.

It all comes together to a rip that's absolutely swirling with emotions in so many ways, and in so many directions - empathy and respect for Chills, nostalgia for Super Smash Bros. Brawl and the SiIvaGunner channel itself, and utmost admiration for the rippers that continue to make such incredible music out of love for the internet. Sidelined Symphony is, beyond being one of my favorite rips to listen to, just one of my favorite rips for all that it stands for. Peace and love on planet earth. And foot lettuce from Burger King.