#it also makes for a baller story

[wackulart]

I give you RDR1 Javier but you also gotta take the doomed oc x canon ship

[the-knife-consumer]

I feel lame for not having many ocs tbh. Whatever i do what i want forever

[stillthewc]

YEAR OF THE FANGAN - APRIL EDITION

ꕥ DANGANRONPA: DECEPTION EXAMINATION ꕥ

Ah, Instaronpas. Despite Instagram not being very conducive to hosting fangans imo (unless I'm doing things wrong, navigating to older posts is generally a pain / it's very easy to spoil plot points by doing so), the slideshow formatting makes for a very unique type of experience, and the fandom-centric stories I've read on there (aka Total Ronpa Island and Penguinronpa, two fangans I look back on in high reverence despite never fully reading) invoke a special kind of nostalgia to me. So, upon seeing a ton of people on my feed talk about Deception Examination, I was bound to read it eventually. And, despite my admittingly-rocky reception to the prologue, what I discovered when I kept reading was a really fun story.

To start off, we have the cast. While I admit I wasn't the most receptive to them at first (I'm so sorry for judging you, Naga and Frankie), almost every cast member grew on me. While this mostly comes from their respective quirks being presented in super likable ways, I also think the deeper delves into the lives of the characters / perspectives really helps. Both the second and third killer are given insight into their home lives / how that affected their desire to go through with the murder, the Dream Theatre sections (Chester's in particular) give an internal dive of their desires and insecurities, and Edric Pluto's positing about survivalism and morality make him easily the best-written character in the story to me.

I also have to say this is the funniest fangan I've come across thus far. Vanity getting plastered before the Chapter 2 trial, Chester's Big Reveal™️ over his talent, and especially the non-canon April Fools post are some of the hardest I've laughed at a fangan's jokes before, and that's not even mentioning small, one-off jokes the characters make due to their bantering.

But all of that pales in comparison to my favorite part of the story: the cast interactions. Seriously, the prologue does a major disservice by solely focusing on Faith because damn, does this group of characters mesh with one another amazingly. Small, petty rivalries like Naga's and Arthur's, grounded and earnest relationships like Chester's and Milo's, and even small one-off interactions leap off the pages, as do large group events.

In fact, I'd say this one of the sole fangans I prefer the daily life to deadly life over: while the trials and investigations are certainly fun, losing cast members also loses their unique way of interacting with others, making it feel like there's a hole in the story now that they're gone. Because of this, every death has some sort of impact to me which, while definitely a positive, always makes me sad whenever deadly life inevitably has to show up.

Lastly, it's just such a cool novelty to have a fangan with ARG elements? As much as I enjoy the main story, there's something so neat about additional plotlines and characters being introduced in the super-spoilery side blog that should only be read once you're all caught up and (apparently) the Discord server. There feels like there's a whole other story brewing outside the one we're aware of, something I stumbled upon in happenstance after just wanting to collect some fanart references. And, while I'll warn you some of the mystery of the main story's spoiled knowing the ARG info, it's super duper fun if you want to create an even-more developed story experience for yourself.

And that's all I have to say this time around! Please check this story out if you get the chance, and I'll see you in the next YOTF report!

FORMAT: "Instaronpa" (written, but told through images that look like stills from a game/web video fangan)

WHERE TO FIND IT: Instagram (SUPER BIG PRO-TIP: For the love of all things holy, please navigate posts using the Google Doc sheet detailing all the story posts if you want to avoid spoilers! Almost every death was discovered by me due to having to scroll down manually, so don't make the same mistake!)

FAVORITE CHAPTER: Chapter 3. The daily life follows main character Faith's attempts at being a leader, while the deadly life serves as one massive teardown of her efforts. Mix that with one death that's super flashy and another narratively poignant, really good characterization for a lot of characters, and some super-emotional writing across the board, and you're in for a wild ride.

FAVORITE CHARACTER: Surprisingly, Christopher Polo. While he's a shy, quiet fellow who feels more comfortable exploring than socializing, his keen observational skills and general helpfulness also make him one of the few reliable braincell havers in the cast.

OTHER STANDOUT CHARACTERS: Frankie Instein, who quickly went from "character I wasn't a fan of" to "a goofy breath of fresh air with some of the tightest character writing / compelling character motivations in the story", and Arthur The LXIXth, whose noble-heartedness mixed with his overconfidence and casanova wannabe personality made me want to keep reading the story, prologue be damned (Plus his name translates to Arthur the 69th, for crying out loud! What's not to love?)

[angstandhappiness]

INTERESTING IDEA TO CONSIDER

“Mei! You have to stop. I know you’re upset, and that’s okay! I know what it’s like to have a power you don’t know how to control—

—to feel like the fate of the world is in your hands

and you have no idea what to do!

((How do you still not see that he has no idea what he's doing? How about this for a plan: stay down MK, or I will put you down.))

But you always have my back, and help me through it. We, will figure this out!

Together!”

[copperbadge]

So the ADHD Handbook post struck a chord with a lot of people...

I don't think I have it in me to write the book I suggested, mainly because most of what I want to write about is variable by situation. I can't actually offer a magic formula for getting a good assessment, all I would be able to do is say "Here are the warning signs, here's my personal story, shit's just rough". Which I could do but it'd be basically an entire book of "shrug emoji". The best possible way would probably be to offer it as a workbook, like "Here is a page for you to record every communication with the clinic doing your testing. Here is a page for you to write down possible other approaches to getting your medication if the pharmacy is out." etc.

I do think I might write it as a novel of some kind. Possibly even a novel about someone writing a handbook, I haven't decided. I had a dream last night about the book, in which I saw a woman watching a revolution taking place in the distance, thinking, "This is not what I intended when I set out to write a self-help book." Baller way to start a novel, honestly.

Anyway there were several suggestions for books in the notes, so I thought I'd compile those here. I have read none of these, so I can't vouch for their contents, but I'm including what my readers said about them.

@blogquantumreality linked to How To ADHD by Jessica McCabe, who is a well-known ADHD youtuber (I haven't found her videos super helpful but they're also not aimed at me). @knitsinweirdplaces added "The last section of the How to ADHD book is literally called 'how to change the world' and exactly points out we can advocate for a more disability friendly world that traumatizes ADHDer less in the first place. It's the only book I've read that hits the balance of 'your brain has immutable challenges' and 'these strats may help' right. Bonus, it is inclusive of people who use adhd meds and those who don't/can't."

@theindefinitearticle mentioned "I read how to keep house while drowning recently and it's been much more practical for me in terms of actual usable advice." This book has also come up numerous times during National Clean Your Home Month as a helpful guide to cleaning.

@buginateacup said "The year I met my brain is the only one I've read that actually felt like it was making useful suggestions for living with ADHD."

@cabloom said "iampayingattention on Instagram wrote How Not To Fit In."

@grison-in-space said "Do you have any idea how over the top excited I was when I found I Overcame My Autism and All I Got Was This Lousy Anxiety Disorder?"

@doubleminorforroughing wrote "Please read Devon Price. He wants to tear it all down and I love it." I will add that I don't think I've read Laziness Does Not Exist but I have read Price's shortform work extensively and I think he's been very influential in rethinking how we frame laziness and productivity in relation to both work and neurodivergence, so I can second the recommendation.

[atopvisenyashill]

king bran

so i’ve lined up my theory on how bran will be king in harrenhal but i was a little lax on details about king bran foreshadowing. there’s the “bran in harrenhal” stuff i’ve outlined which includes-

bran’s connection to the weirwoods & the magical connection the isle of faces has

the whent connection

bran being a metaphorical heir to robb by ruling over the lands robb was born, fought, and died in

the importance of harrenhal as a symbol of both the wasteful excess and hope for the future

but why king bran specifically? well…

ATTEMPTED SLAYING BY THE KINGSLAYER

for one thing, bran is our introduction to the entire series (barring the prologue, rip to 3 icons). he introduces us to the brutality of this world, to the themes of justice, kingship, leadership, to the Others, and to magic. that very important lesson about how the person to pass judgement must swing the sword, and must be sure that the life they're taking is one that deserves to be taken? That comes to us not through Jon, or even Arya, but Bran:

Yet our way is the older way. The blood of the First Men still flows in the veins of the Starks, and we hold to the belief that the man who passes the sentence should swing the sword. If you would take a man’s life, you owe it to him to look into his eyes and hear his final words. And if you cannot bear to do that, then perhaps the man does not deserve to die.

That last sentence in particular is a belief that really sticks in all the kids heads as they go about their journeys, and it is through Bran that we learn it.

But in his second chapter, Bran also introduces us to jaime, cersei, and the main plot twist of the first book which kick starts the war of five kings. before he's pushed from the tower, this is all we know about Jaime-

He’s blonde, he’s named Jaime, and he killed the king.

Then the first thing he does is attempt to slay Bran.

AEGON VI AND THE PISSWATER PRINCE

What’s most interesting to me regarding King Bran foreshadowing is that the story of how Bran survives the sack of Winterfell is very similar to Varys & Illyrio’s story of the pisswater prince. Here is Tyrion’s summary of it-

"And when the pisswater prince was safely dead, the eunuch smuggled you across the narrow sea to his fat friend the cheesemonger, who hid you on a poleboat and found an exile lord willing to call himself your father. It does make for a splendid story, and the singers will make much of your escape once you take the Iron Throne…

and some reminders about Bran, helpfully color coded-

It was not Bran we killed. It was not Rickon. They were only miller's sons, from the mill by the Acorn Water. "I had to have two heads, else they would have mocked me… laughed at me..."

Three times he had sworn to keep the secret; once to Bran himself, once to that strange boy Jojen Reed, and last of all to Coldhands. "The world believes the boy is dead," his rescuer had said as they parted. "Let his bones lie undisturbed. We want no seekers coming after us. Swear it, Samwell of the Night's Watch. Swear it for the life you owe me."

“Hodor must stay with Bran, to be his legs," the wildling woman said briskly. "I will take Rickon with me." “We'll go with Bran," said Jojen Reed. "Aye, I thought you might," said Osha.

Another interesting thing about Bran, the Reeds, and Aegon VI here-

“He has a song," the man replied. "He is the prince that was promised, and his is the song of ice and fire."

I swear it by earth and water," said the boy in green. "I swear it by bronze and iron," his sister said. "We swear it by ice and fire," they finished together.

BRAN, THE REEDS, AND THE FISHER KING

Now first of all, quick rundown with more color coding. The Fisher King is a character in Arthurian legend, involved in a story with Perceval and the Holy Grail (so you know we’re already cooking here bc Holy Grail stories are baller). The Fisher King is the last in a long line of kings tasked with guarding the Holy Grail. He is injured at some point, usually in the groin, and is rendered barren by the wound, and his land is a barren wasteland where nothing will grow because he is connected to the land. Only when a prophesied hero comes seeking him will the Fisher King be healed. Perceval, of course, comes seeking him, heals him, and gets the Holy Grail.

Now some of the beats of that story should sound familiar-

Thousands and thousands of years ago, Brandon the Builder had raised Winterfell, and some said the Wall. Bran knew the story, but it had never been his favorite. Maybe one of the other Brandons had liked that story. Sometimes Nan would talk to him as if he were her Brandon, the baby she had nursed all those years ago, and sometimes she confused him with his uncle Brandon, who was killed by the Mad King before Bran was even born. She had lived so long, Mother had told him once, that all the Brandon Starks had become one person in her head.

He was going to be a knight," Arya was saying now. "A knight of the Kingsguard. Can he still be a knight?" "No," Ned said. He saw no use in lying to her. "Yet someday he may be the lord of a great holdfast and sit on the king's council. He might raise castles like Brandon the Builder, or sail a ship across the Sunset Sea, or enter your mother's Faith and become the High Septon." But he will never run beside his wolf again, he thought with a sadness too deep for words, or lie with a woman, or hold his own son in his arms.

The stone is strong, Bran told himself, the roots of the trees go deep, and under the ground the Kings of Winter sit their thrones. So long as those remained, Winterfell remained. It was not dead, just broken. Like me, he thought. I'm not dead either.

What was he now? Only Bran the broken boy, Brandon of House Stark, prince of a lost kingdom, lord of a burned castle, heir to ruins. He had thought the three-eyed crow would be a sorcerer, a wise old wizard who could fix his legs, but that was some stupid child's dream, he realized now. 

No," said the pale lord. "That is beyond my powers." Bran's eyes filled with tears. We came such a long way. The chamber echoed to the sound of the black river. "You will never walk again, Bran," the pale lips promised, "but you will fly."

Now what’s interesting is in twoiaf we learn about some ancient rulers called the Fisher Queens-

From such we know of the Fisher Queens, who ruled the lands adjoining the Silver Sea—the great inland sea at the heart of the grasslands—from a floating palace that made its way endlessly around its shores.

The Fisher Queens were wise and benevolent and favored of the gods, we are told, and kings and lords and wise men sought the floating palace for their counsel.

And what do you know look at who Bran is traveling with-

“My father taught me. We have no knights at Greywater. No master-at-arms, and no maester.” “Who keeps your ravens?” She smiled. “Ravens can’t find Greywater Watch, no more than our enemies can.” “Why not?” “Because it moves,” she told him.

Jojen Reed was thirteen, only four years older than Bran. Jojen wasn't much bigger either, no more than two inches or maybe three, but he had a solemn way of talking that made him seem older and wiser than he really was. At Winterfell, Old Nan had dubbed him "little grandfather."

When they died, they went into the wood, into leaf and limb and root, and the trees remembered. All their songs and spells, their histories and prayers, everything they knew about this world. Maesters will tell you that the weirwoods are sacred to the old gods. The singers believe they are the old gods. When singers die they become part of that godhood.

I like to say this about Theon, when he sees Bran's face in the weirwood and thinks, "The old gods, he thought. They know me. They know my name." that this is partially true - Theon is beloved by the gods but what he doesn't realize is that the old god he is beloved by is in fact Bran Stark. When the old gods weep for Theon and Jeyne, it is Bran weeping for them! So similarly, the way the Fisher Queens in their moving castle were thought to be beloved by the gods the Reeds in their floating castle are beloved by the gods because they are beloved by Bran. This reinforces Bran's connection to the Fisher King imo - just as the old greenseers and singers/cotf are quite literally connected to the land because they have become part of the the weirwood hivemind, Bran has this same connection to the land.

AND what’s more is that the Fisher King story is likely to trace itself back to a Welsh story, of a magical King who gives his sister's hand away, only to learn that she is being mistreated, and musters a host to go save her. During a battle, the King is mortally wounded by an injury in his foot, and as he dies he tells his men to cut off his head and take it to London so he can protect their people from invasion, and for several years after he "dies" his head continues speaking. If that also sounds familair, do you want to know what that man’s name was?

Bran the Blessed.

MELISANDRE'S VISION

Now staying in the realm of magic, we also have this very interesting passage from Melisandre, emphasis mine-

Show me Stannis, Lord, she prayed. Show me your king, your instrument. Visions danced before her, gold and scarlet, flickering, forming and melting and dissolving into one another, shapes strange and terrifying and seductive. She saw the eyeless faces again, staring out at her from sockets weeping blood. Then the towers by the sea, crumbling as the dark tide came sweeping over them, rising from the depths. Shadows in the shape of skulls, skulls that turned to mist, bodies locked together in lust, writhing and rolling and clawing. Through curtains of fire great winged shadows wheeled against a hard blue sky. A face took shape within the hearth. Stannis? she thought, for just a moment �� but no, these were not his features. A wooden face, corpse white. Was this the enemy? A thousand red eyes floated in the rising flames. He sees me. Beside him, a boy with a wolf's face threw back his head and howled.

THE REGENCY OF AEGON III

So warning this is part parallelism and part prediction

The Dance of the Dragons was done, and the melancholy reign of King Aegon III Targaryen had begun.

As he was still but ten years of age, the new king’s first act was to name the men who would protect and defend him, and rule for him until he came of age.

This was a council of which Septon Eustace heartily approved, “six strong men and one wise woman, seven to rule us here on earth as the Seven Above rule all men from their heaven.” Mushroom was less impressed. “Seven regents were six too many,” he said. “Pity our poor king.” Despite the fool’s misgivings, most observers seemed to feel that the reign of King Aegon III had begun on a hopeful note.

So many lords, both great and small, had perished during the Dance of the Dragons that the Citadel rightly names this time the Winter of the Widows. Never before or since in the history of the Seven Kingdoms have so many women wielded so much power, ruling in the place of their slain husbands, brothers, and fathers, for sons in swaddling clothes or still on the teat.

The smallfolk of the Seven Kingdoms speak of King Aegon III Targaryen as Aegon the Unlucky, Aegon the Unhappy, and (most often) the Dragonbane, when they remember him at all. All these names are apt. Grand Maester Munkun, who served him for a good part of his reign, calls him the Broken King, which fits him even better. Of all the men ever to sit the Iron Throne, he remains perhaps the most enigmatic: a shadowy monarch who said little and did less, and lived a life steeped in grief and melancholy.

There is also a big focus on the “tax policies” aspect of the story through these two child rulers. Much of Aegon’s regency centers around him butting heads with his guardians while Bran’s ACOK arc sees him as the ruling Stark in Winterfell and learning how to lead with mentors in Maester Luwin & Ser Rodrik Cassell. EYE also think it’s interesting how both Aegon & Bran get some focus on having a lil gaggle of companions around. Aegon has Gaemon, Jaehaera, Viserys, Daenaera, and Larra Rogare, while Bran has the Big Walder, Little Walder, Rickon, Jojen, and Meera. They both feel like very similar groups of kids that are thrown together & running amok with adult supervision that is more lax/not coming from their parents.

There's also just like, a lot of parallels between Baela, Rhaena, Jacaerys, and Aegon with Arya, Sansa, Jon Snow, and Bran. There are several good breakdowns of the Sansa/Arya parallels as well as the Jace/Jon Snow ones, so I won't dig into that here, but I think when you put all this together what you have between Bran and Aegon III is-

Two boy kings who will have a long regency

Both orphaned due to a brutal succession war

Both referred to as "broken" - aegon by munkin, and bran referring to himself

Younger - but not the youngest - brother coming into his seat after his older brother is killed

Both have names that are important in their families & frequently re-used - and in fact both share a name with their uncle

A very rare "winter of widows" where most of the houses are ruled by women due to all the men being dead and their heirs being babies is coming up in the main series

This anti parallel of Aegon being a very melancholy person & Bran being known to be “quick to laugh and easy to love.”

As for his relationships, we have-

His bastard born brother With Some Secret Paternity Going On, who is likely not going to be in the running for King at the end of the war (hopefully um, Jon Snow actually lives unlike poor Jacaerys)

His oldest brother dying at 16 during the war

One sister who is more adventurous and "tomboy"ish, who is associated with ships and travel

Another sister who is more ladylike, who has a largely political arc in the Vale

Both sisters are likely to take leading roles as political players in the aftermath of the war - I do suspect we will get some sort of “Hour of the Wolf” parallels here, just before or after Bran is crowned

SOME CHOICE QUOTES TO LEAVE OFF ON

Bran could perch for hours among the shapeless, rain-worn gargoyles that brooded over the First Keep, watching it all: the men drilling with wood and steel in the yard, the cooks tending their vegetables in the glass garden, restless dogs running back and forth in the kennels, the silence of the godswood, the girls gossiping beside the washing well. It made him feel like he was lord of the castle, in a way even Robb would never know. - Bran II, AGOT

Ahead he glimpsed a pale white trunk that could only be a weirwood, crowned with a head of dark red leaves. - Jon VII, ADWD

[drdemonprince]

I am very very attracted to my boss and it's driving me insane. There's this amazing chemistry and tension between us and all day long we're just teasing eachother and flirting. We're always gravitating towards eachother and happy to see eachother, finding excuses to work together, etc. He is, however, a straight man twice my age who has a girlfriend and I'm a trans guy who could be completely misreading our interactions. Straight guys often banter and "flirt" with eachother so maybe I'm reading too much into it. Maybe he's just excited to be some sort of a mentor figure to me and he likes to be admired, and likes to see me grow and learn, and that's all there is to it. He calls me his protege which I find incredibly hot. Anyway I'm seriously contemplating whether I should confess my attraction. I'm not really anticipating him to reciprocate, but would do it more so to get rejected so I would be able to stop fantasizing about him all day long and give myself some closure. On the other hand, I don't want to humiliate myself and create a possible distance or awkwardness between us. There would be no consequences for my job so that's not an issue. I was wondering if you have any words of wisdom for me? You always have such a unique yet sobering outlook on things and I would love to hear your thoughts on this situation.

"Unique yet sobering outlook"! That's the kind of compliment I would have put in the word document alongside all my favorite feedback from English professors back in the day when I still needed that. Sincerely, thank you.

I am of several minds with regard to your question. On the one hand, I think straight people are terminally monogamous most of the time and that it would be hell on earth to get involved with this man and draw the potential ire of his girlfriend even if they weren't.

I think it's usually a self-hating maneuver to date a straight man as a trans masc (I have been there, it is terrible) but as a gay man, I support the frisson of danger that comes with seducing a heterosexual and think it would be a baller little feather in your cap to ruin this man's identity and relationship for a fling with you, even if it would be destined to end in agony.

I hear that this misadventure will not affect your job, but I don't exactly understand how that could be true. It sounds as if you work together quite closely and that his flirty banter is part of what makes the gig pleasant, and even if he doesn't have the capacity to fire you (I'm guessing) this affair could devastate the vibe enough that someone else might step in and fire you for its indirect consequences. happens sometimes.

Part of me however does believe in "fuck it we ball" and in being a bit reckless when you find yourself in a moment of raw, transfixing chemistry. chasing after fascinating moments that are destined to shatter our hearts is one of the core aspects of being alive. It keeps us growing, fills us with vigor! Who doesn't want to one day have an interesting story of a love affair like that?

One of my follow up questions would be how rare this kind of connection is for you. If it were me? Someone I truly connect with on the level you are describing is rare, and I've been willing to risk upending my life as i know it over a fleeting few weeks or months of passion before, and sometimes it's been worth it! Some mistakes are worth making, because we will become stronger and more interesting people after they happen!

But another part of me also thinks "straight men flirt with eachother sometimes" makes no sense and that what you are likely experiencing is him not seeing you as a man, or doing the thing some sensitive straight guys do of leeching attention off of queer men to feed their egos. (Which isn't evil, we all need attention sometimes, but it can be devastating.). If he lets you down because he sees you as a man and is not gay, that might relieve the pressure for you and work out fine. If he is into you because he doesn't see you as a man, you two will fuck and it will be horrible in the long term probably. But maybe hot in the short term.

I also think there are probably hotter ways to play this one (and more strategically effective ones) than a straight-up love confession, which would probably force him to bring up his girlfriend as the reason not to pursue it.

I think if you really want to SEDUCE this man you should spend time with him after work, ask him to mentor you on a labor intensive but potentially rewarding project, disclose little personal details that endear him to you, ask him lots of questions about himself, allow him to open up to you about his life... and then strike.

I think it'll be interesting if you go for it, at least. I certainly want to hear the story. But I don't want you to get fired, lose a mentorship that is important to your career, or get your ass beat by the gf.

So I will also tap my followers for their feedback.

[beyondthegame]

DEMO (coming soon...)

The referee brings the whistle to their lips, ready to kick off the game…

There’s no easy road to becoming an athlete. You of all people will know that. Now you’ve finally got your chance. From playing football in a muddy park during a rainy afternoon to signing the professional contract you’ve been dreaming of — the road to stardom is here. You can imagine it all now: being an athlete that jets across the world, having fans that wear your name on the back of their shirts; gaining sponsors and money, and… fame.

You’ve put pen to paper in London and now the ink has dried. It's official. You are an Inter City FC player. You’re starting your career as a professional footballer with a club that has objectives of their own. Winning the league. To the new club you’ve signed for, you’re the missing puzzle piece to their success. 

But, the beautiful game is more than just a mere ball at your feet. It’s more than just your manager and teammates. It’s the media, the opposition, the rivals and everything in between.

There isn’t anything you want more than this. To make a name for yourself on and off the pitch. To press your lips to the shiny trophies you’ve worked so hard for. To hear fans chanting your name in the crowd. To have a club that feels like a family.

Nothing can get in the way, that’s been your motto since you first started playing. Surely the beautiful game won’t ruin you when you’ve given so much to it. 

You just wonder whether it’ll be worthwhile.

Let the match commence…

This is an 18+ game due to explicit language, sexual themes, mention of sexual themes, mental health issues and more.

Customise and play as a male, female or non-binary; straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, graysexual, demisexual, asexual, footballer w/ the choice of your own pronouns.

Choose your footballer’s position: goalkeeper, defender, midfielder, or striker.

Pick your footballer’s public persona. Will the media adore you? Or will you keep them on their toes? Will they love or loathe you?

Did you make it due to hard-work or sheer talent?

Manager your social media presence.

Decide your footballer’s playing style and strengths: a player with flair? Or a no nonsense baller with physicality?

Play as a person of colour (this choice can have an effect on the story). Your gender can also have an effect in game. 

Travel the world with your football club that will become a family.

Romance any of the five romantic options; four of which are gender-selectable; male, female and non-binary. The ROs are: the rival, the teammate, the best friend, the idol and the heir — these romances will get the rumours starting…

Develop meaningful friendships, relationship… or even hook-ups.

Take the sporting world by storm. Do you play football for the fame? Or for your love of the game?

THE RIVAL

It didn’t start off as a rivalry. But you and Nikita/Navarro/Nevada Tallon weren’t the best of friends either. The two of you started at the same football academy, and whilst you were signed for an extra year, they were rejected. That was their first loss. For a while, they lost their dream. Forever: they lost you. Now it’s different. They’re all grown up and they’ve found a football team to call their own — A.C. United — the football team that happens to be the rival to yours. Football is full of history, it’s full of emotion too — and you and N have plenty of that to give, both on and off the pitch. Their one goal is to win. The two of you are, once again, fighting for the same crown. To be the best footballer in the city. Maybe even the world.

Maybe things will be different this time around between you two. The stone-cold glares and the snide remarks could dissolve into something else. Into something real and something beyond hatred.

THE TEAMMATE

You’re the newcomer. You’re waltzing into a team that’s somewhat established already, so having a teammate like Léa/Lando/Lakelyn Santos (their gender matches your mc's) to ease you in is always welcome. They’re the captain of Inter City and they’re a bit of a media darling. Graceful on the pitch, and even more graceful to the press. They’re confident, assured, calm and collected. But, beneath all that lies something else. It’s been a while since someone’s seen the real them. They were burned in the past, all because of a well documented break-up that took a lot out of them. Since then, L has been sworn off of falling for another athlete again, and they're keeping everyone at an arm's length. Beyond football, it’s not easy to get close to them.

But if you did, what a powerful couple that would grace the footballing world.

THE BEST FRIEND 

You know how hard it is to be an athlete. Milan St. Clair knows it too. Since becoming best friends in your twenties, you know you’ve both had the same goal. Whilst they are trying to conquer the tennis world and you’re making it in football, they’re the one constant that remains. The one who is familiar and comforting. Maybe the two of you could’ve been something more, or maybe your passionate personalities for your sports just got in the way. Milan’s rising through the tennis ranks now, they’re becoming more known. Their game continues to improve more than anyone ever expected. They have Grand Slams in their sights.

But you are right in front of them. You could both cross that line, take that next step and become more than friends…

THE IDOL

Cypress de Vera, known for their precise and thunderous tackles — Cypress is footballing royalty. Their potential was high, their talent was even higher — they’ve set records for the ages. But, their career came to an abrupt end after tragedy. Despite all that, football is still their life, they live and breathe the sport. They are always going to be idolised. You idolise them and so does the press. The media still want to know what the great Cy de Vera is going to do next — and now they’re at Inter City. Back at the club that gave them everything, to steer them to success, only this time it won’t be as a player.

Stern and hard to impress, Cypress de Vera only has a championship title on their mind. But sometimes you need to lose focus, let your guards down and just feel something more than a ball on the tip of your toes.

THE HEIR

Estelle/Evren/Everest Acevedo. They’ve been involved in football all their life, but not in the same way you have. Their father is your new manager. E has riches, fame, and a powerful last name — but take it from them, it’s not all its cracked up to be. They’re in a world that’s entirely their own, they model, sing and now their passion has shifted to wanting to write a bestselling novel. Their life has been a whirlwind, and honestly, if the world came with an off switch they’d hit it immediately. But they like to have their fun: their sharp tongue, constant media presence, and attraction to chaos means they ignore their father’s footballing legacy and will continue to make a name for themselves. E has been branded as trouble and it's a current name they quite like.

There’s more to E than meets the eye, and they’re desperate for someone to see it. Give them a chance, peel back the confident persona. You’ll be pleasantly surprised…

[blorbologist]

S3 eps 7-9 thoughts below the cut

This is all fresh after the episode and I gotta be up in a couple hours so it won't be fully thought out but...

I love a lot of the creative choices being made! But I think many weren't implemented well, or balanced nicely.

Just! as someone who has deconstructed Campaign 1 and made deviations to the timeline of events and etc (mind you, without the same goal of condensing things for television… but somehow the show has an equivalent perc'ahlia focus to a ship-centered fic?) I think… I can see several avenues of narrative choices that would strengthen the ideas they're going with instead of weakening them.

(My credentials here are 'almost 300k canon divergent AU that converged on a handful of similar plot points to TLOVM', but also the aims of an AU fanfic =/= that of a show. I understand and respect that challenge the team faced. But when a single amateur can point out issues that would be pretty easy to solve and detract from a very enjoyable experience... there might be a Problem)

Ripley doesn't need a sob story, she's getting a book anyways leave it there. Fully agree with @/aq2003. The whole point is that she's monstrous and evil and got her PhD out of a fucking cereal box. Percy is less like her than he thinks. But he dies and she just??? escapes??? IF Percy had to die without VM being present, having Ripley either die of her wounds right after or be unable to flee and get torn to shreds by them would have been excellent.

On that note - only Vex and Cass seem to show strong emotion about his death. Keyleth's supposed to be his best friend, and he and Grog were close this season, but. Well, not like we have any platonic relationships. Everyone's just Kinda Sad.

MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE OF THE MUSIC OVER PERCY'S DEATH HUH. Flashbacks to watching Vampire Diaries as a teenager and pop songs coming on over the end-of-episode drama.

Again just. All the platonic, non-familial (Pike n Grog count. to me. buddies <3) relationships are so scant, which is especially hard on characters who lean on that so hard! Grog and Keyleth especially are hurt by this. Does Keyleth have a single conversation (not quip, conversation) that isn't with Vax? And in group contexts she only loudly brings up her distrust of Raishan without any of the solid backbone it has in fact. (Also her going from Raishan was right last time we should trust her now / She betrayed us! Knew it! / oh maybe she didn't and I should apologize. girl. come on. please)

I have Concerns about 'late Game of Thrones teleportation' syndrome happening here. Scanlan goes from Wildemount back to Whitestone (which are completely different continents) with no explanation. Kash and Zahra make it to Emon (again, different continent to Issylra) just in the nick of time. Which, sure, would take a couple of days to carve Percy a nice likeness (but you have a druid who can manipulate stone right there), and if Kash and Zahra changed their minds and set out as soon as Vax talked to them they might make it! But uh. There's a lot of transport that's omitted, while the scenes give the impression everything is happening within a short period of time. And a lot of these conversations are one-on-ones with the relevant characters without acknowledging they couldn't be there without magical transport. Where is Allura or Gilmore or Keyleth in the back of these shots twiddling their thumbs 'hey can we teleport to the next person on our HELP US list'?

IDK what's going on with Kash. He's likely gonna be used as a lead-in to Something to rez Percy (and him?) but. That quick buildup of him being too carefree to getting smushed was very transparent and Zahra's grief didn't feel earned (though it WAS baller. yes they made them bleed girl <3).

The fact Vax didn't ask him At All about the resurrection ritual in the Tomb stuns me tho. You think Vax remembered the offhand comment Kash made about the body needing to be warm while his sister was dead? We as an audience could have used a reminder, and Vax too. Because anyone who Doesn't remember this one line from S2 is Extra frustrated at everyone for being stupid.

Raishan or Ripley being moved to be the 'Vox Machina, united, with all their Vestiges' fight is... hmn. You could argue Raishan has solid buildup (what with the cameo in Brimscythe's lair), and it does follow campaign canon. She lacks the devastating power to justify the use of all the Vestiges (tbh given Thordak it might feel like a curbstomp unless her necromantic plans are successful)... but I could see it working. But why the fuck has Ripley escaped A THIRD TIME. Percy even duped her twice! How many times are we gonna do that song and dance?

If anything, I'd have moved some Ripley stuff here. If she escapes so be it but VM putting the fate of the world on hold to avenge their friend, THEN have Percy be back for Thordak, would be tasty.

... wait does this mean Percy might not have Cabal's Ruin by the final dragon fight of the season? ffs-

DID NO ONE LOOT CABAL'S RUIN FROM THE FACTORY.

Thordak fight was baller, having all our NPCs there to worry about? a bit much. Cass why are you here. Go home before Whitestone loses its last de Rolo.

Also. Thordak my dude I know you're insane. mad even. but uh... you sent your children into battle. A TON have already died by the time you sadly nuzzle the hatchlings. This was kinda your fault. There's a reason animals don't send their babies into combat. then again you're a large reptile who talks about milk so what do I, a reptile researcher, know -

(Don't give me that crap about reptiles being bad parents we have several snakes who require maternal attendance after birth or they're Asocial Weirdos, crocodilians are VERY goo parents, and there are social lizards too.)

'fix him - FIX HIM' being gutted fucking killed me :c

I sure hope Pike's 'IT'S ME' was uh. about faith in herself. Not abandoning the god she spent all of S1 figuring out how to devote herself to. While wearing the Vestige associated with another god. the vestige that explicitly made this possible and not a nuke fire falls u all die tpk. haha. ha. (@/burr-ell)

Yes yes yes I know the voiceover and visuals fill in for 'I hear my mother in the morning. Fuck you'. but. idk. Felt like the grief of that moment was taken out of it? Also it's a banger line

Raishan's little killsteal attempt being bumped from Vorugal to Thordak was tasty! Go green girl go! ... except it did nothing but set up a few quiet moments before she turned on everyone again.

The amount of times I'm seeing things happen Again in this is... not great.

Glintshore is Not Glinting. Where is my broken glass difficult terrain?

Perc'ahlia arc fuckin impeccable tho. Delicious

And Pike got lots of fun and stunning moments so far! And Grog takin down the lair!

I love a lot of this though. The hallucination gas. Percy vs Ripley in the factory was so cool. Percy downright being Put in a Box for a while. VEX'S CONVERSATION WITH SYLDOR!!! SO MUCH!! Her being the leader and feeling so responsible for all this, and seeing herself become her father! ELAINA BACKSTORY! Scanlan leaving the party only to miss Kaylie too! Thordak being A Dad! Percy's death/Vex's grief being the catalyst for Vaxleth! The animation was fucking stellar - Vax killing Thordak, Percy's death, Pike mastering the Plate.

I don't have concrete thoughts on how I'd restructure the episodes/season (seasons?) to better balance platonic and romantic relationships, and utilize the changes to their fullest potential. But damn if the temptation to do ANOTHER canon divergence rewrite / exploration of cause and effect to make things hit a bit more nicely... make myself a challenge to only use X amount of scenes per episode/chapter, to try and match the difficulty of adapting this to television... idk

[polysucks]

I've seen a bunch of your indigenous headcanons for Starks and I love them so. Do you think of all First Men that way or particularly northern First Men/Starks? Also I'm going feral over your idea for a wild west AU!

HI I LOVE YOU.

I will talk forever about indigenous Starks and Northmen.

yeah. I’m that bitch. I am the #1 Indigenous Stark Truther* (unproven claim) and I will happily die on this hill.

I’m answering all of this on mobile like 15 mins before I have to be in class so I have none of my research in front of me and no sources, so yall feel free to jump in the comments and the reblogs to compound or (CONSTRUCTIVELY) Correct me :)

As we know, the First Men are all over the place. I mean it’s been, what, twelve thousand years since they came over from Essos on the Dornish Landbridge? (Sound familiar, fellow US Public Education System Victims?) and maybe six thousand years since the Andals migrated, with all the interbreeding and the thousands of years of generational melding, there’s bound to be traces First Men blood all over the planet by now. Just like all indigenous peoples irl! Imma have to write a whole thing about the Westerosi equivalent to the Columbian Exchange now is not the time—

So like personally, I see Native American coding in the Northmen. And all I know is of the American Indigenous perspective (and not even a whole lot bc I wasn’t raised in the tribe. I was removed from the tribe via my grandparents who are both Blackfoot-Salish out of the PNW and victims of modern colonization but that’s another story for another time. It’s just to preface that I am no expert in Native American culture, and only know what I personally know. I got some baller resources if you’re super interested tho)

In my personal humble onion. There would be a high concentration of First Men blood (god I really hate using the term ‘blood’ bc of blood quantum and lineage politics but for the sake of brevity imma just use it) in the Northmen. To me it’s giving PNW and Inuit who pressed north after the Columbian invasion because they had the means to survive in the harsh lands, where the whites. Simply didn’t. And knowing Peepaw is American, like, I see the parallels.

The First Men lived in close harmony with the land, practicing a nature-based religion—the worship of the Old Gods—centered around weirwood trees, sacred groves, and the guidance of “greenseers” and “skinchangers.” (We don’t use the W word around here but do you smell what I’m stepping in?) Their way of life was deeply tied to the land and vaguely resembles that of indigenous spiritual beliefs about animism and ancestral wisdom.

After however long years of battling with the Children of the Forest, the First Men reached the pact, agreeing to honor the children’s sacred forests and worship their gods. This mirrors real-world treaties between indigenous peoples and settlers, which were often later broken or disregarded (to put it nicely). the pact was chill for thousands of years (I think like I say I got no refs in front of me we die like Icarus), leading to the Age of Heroes, in which the First Men formed their own kingdoms, including the foundation of House Stark.

Bro that. Is so ancient American history coded. Same shit different font.

There’s a large population of indigenous peoples in reservation-adjacent areas cherry picked all over the US. I mean, we’re everywhere. Don’t ever let terminal narratives win. We out here babyyyyyy but to me it makes sense that the highest population of indigenous peoples of Westeros would be on the lands that are least likely to be gentrified (wrong word but imma stick w it) as in. The North. I can’t source any quotes rn specifically but how often is it mentioned that the north is the biggest and the “emptiest” in all their seven kingdoms?

So excellent question! Yeah I think all the Northmen are indigenous coded! You can’t convince me that Lyanna Mormont isn’t some badass fuckin thicc warrior goddess coded. And the Greatjon??? My mans leanin and rockin w a bear pelt. That man kills bears with his fists (just ask him) and I could go on forever about how The Boltons in all their violence and the rumors surrounding all that they’re capable of is so so so sooooo Comanche Ute and Sioux coded. They were so shat in by westward expansionists and rumored to be barbaric and cannibalistic and fuuuuuuucked up—simply bc they fought back against the people who were raping, pillaging, and stealing from them. But that’s pure speculation and personal hot take on my part, and wildly incorrect bc the boltons really do be flaying people. While the Ute, Comanche and Sioux did not. In fact. Flay anyone. (Unless they deserved it :) )

Tl;dr

Yeah man I think all the Northmen are native coded (w some Viking and Norse imagery thrown in there bc this is fantasy. It’s not that serious.) but the Starks heavily so due to the hard focus on the animism, their honor, connection to the land, spiritual beliefs, dedication to family, and the fockin’ wolves bro. Natives do be really into wolves. (Wolves are cool as fuck dude)

Also I got three chapters of my Wild West au already written and so much art I haven’t posted. when I unlearn shame and finally post it all it’s over for you bitches

[tobiasdrake]

hearing you call live-action sonic surprisingly conservative in your post about media moving forward felt like being shot in the heart

i mean, sonic as a character is pretty leftist. his whole deal is being free and setting people free,

beating up enemies in the game is literally breaking the shell that the animals are stuck in

Eggman was an analogy for pollution, with him destroying the environment for personal gain, and later being more of a fascist dictator

and his thing is always turning people into products, into literal machines he can control to do his labor and fight his wars, which would be every capitalist’s dream.

and so i never put the pieces together when it comes to the movie being conservative.

damn.

ouch.

could you elaborate more on it? idk, the conversation hurts but i’d like to know what your thoughts are on live-action sonic specifically

Oh, sure. We can talk about the surprisingly conservative themes and ideas of the live-action Sonic the Hedgehog films. With the caveat that this is old-school traditional conservatism, not modern nakedly fascistic conservatism. The Sonic movies are conservative in a Home Improvement sort of way, not a Lady Ballers sort of way.

What it amounts to is that Paramount approached the films not with intent to make a Sonic the Hedgehog movie but with intent to make a "relatable" story for an audience that also has Sonic the Hedgehog in it.

Have you ever seen 2019's Godzilla: King of the Monsters? A film which centers a broken family trying to connect with each other, while also there's a disaster movie happening around them? Like. Godzilla and Mothra and Ghidorah is all stuff that's happening, but what really matters here is whether this daughter can forgive her mother.

It's the of writing a low-stakes personal drama and then stapling the film premise to it. The kind of move that makes sense with something like The Day After Tomorrow where the premise is just "It got fucking cold" so the movie kinda needs something with some actual characters that it can be about.

But when it's an adaptation, it shows low confidence in the IP itself to carry a film. It says, "I don't think a Sonic movie would work, so instead I'm going to just make a movie and have Sonic in it."

And the a movie that they made centers some conservative values. But, like, old-school conservative values, not the hyper-fascistic transphobia and white supremacy and stuff you see around today. Things that were considered commonly recognized conservative values in the 80's and 90's, when white people were still supposed to believe that racism was over and all that jazz.

For one, Tom is a cop. Which is a wild choice for a film coming out at the height of BLM and ACAB. The film, as well as its subsequent sequels and spinoffs, play Tom's policing very sympathetically. A major theme of the first film is that Officer Wachowski is a vital and valuable part of his community.

There is no ambiguity; The cops are the good guys here. They're kind of wacky but we're meant to love both of them, Tom and Wade. They are, however, contrasted by the wickedness of the Feds.

Eggman, in the film, is reimagined from an industrialist to a federal agent. He represents the long arm of Big Government overreach coming for the sleepy town of Green Hill. Which is then further represented by G.U.N., who oppose Eggman once he goes rogue but are still the enemy nonetheless.

Even the Knux series still manages to be about fighting the Feds. The federal government has been the antagonist for 3 out of 3 entries thus far, when Eggman himself has only been the antagonist for 2.

The films leave the environmentalism of the original behind, instead centering family values. Rather than setting out to rescue woodland creatures from industry, Sonic has heart-to-heart chats with Tom about growing up and finding his calling. Knux isn't the guardian of Angel Island, but Sonic's adopted brother. Maddie can ground him for inappropriate behavior.

The first film also features the popular old-school conservative theme of Rural America vs. Urban America. Tom is a small-town cop who yearns for the glamour of the big city. He thinks his calling is there. But, over the course of the film, he learns to appreciate the value of small-town living and his importance to his community, and sets aside his foolish dreams of urbanity.

"I wanted to run away to the city but then learned that my Real 'Murica small hometown is where I truly belong" is probably the single most popular conservative story in decades of film and television.

It's worth noting that the film does feature an interracial marriage, which is something I hear brought up a lot as a way of saying "Actually it's not conservative because...."

But for as much credit as Maddie might warrant... There is the issue of Rachel. A character who exists primarily in the film to be a Sassy Black Woman who reacts with furious histrionics towards Tom for no apparent reason. She just. Hates him. From the bottom of her soul, despises "Relatable Cop Boy".

Like. So far as the film's concerned, it needs no explanation. Her relationship with Tom is just an eyeroll, sly glance at the camera, and "In-laws, amirite?" The second film at least gives her more to do, but the first concludes her subplot by having them tie her up and steal her car.

Like. That's it. That is what she amounts to. Maddie's sister yells sassily until she passes out and then the payoff is that they steal her car and leave her tied to a chair as... I guess her karmic retribution for being so sassy and mean to Tom? It's hard to really say whether this is mean-spirited because we do not know what her beef is. The film doesn't think we need to know. "In-laws are crazy, amirite!?"

When you set aside the cool action scenes of Sonic punching robots and look at what the films center as their emotional heart? You get a story about a small-town cop learning to appreciate his rural roots and build a family with his wife despite her unreasonably psychotic relatives, while the wicked federal government attempts to destroy their home, town, family, and way of life.

[snickerdoodlles]

No wonder this show became a hit. They really asked "you know what's better than one guy forced to give up something that it would break him to lose?" and gave us a whole bunch in different color shirts and said "Enjoy! :D"

(x, x)

right!!!! one of my favorite things about kinnporsche is how the show's like "here's some sexy mafia guys" except it's a TRICK, all the boys are at their sexy best when they're loving and domestic and caring for each other and get traumatized any time they actually act mafia. this show has its messy moments and goodness knows how their world works sometimes, but the writers had the most correct priorities when it comes to the emotional beats of the story.

Khun: the emotional journey of a deeply traumatized guy where we only see him in the aftermath, desperately clawing his way back to some sense of normality. how absolutely tender ep3 was with Porsche taking him to a new space, gently holding Khun's hand and asking him to stay with him and trust that he'll keep him safe, and he does, and we see Khun grow into a fiercer protector who can chase after the people he cares about past his walls and defend his home when its security is compromised.

Kinn: he wasn't a cold mafia boss softened by love, he was always a bleeding heart who's kindness was mercilessly beaten out of him. he falls in love so fast and so hard and it's so good watching his past traumas rear their ugly heads but him letting go of his old ghosts and clawing his way past them anyways, because he so desperately wants love and wants to love. and like? what a baller move that is for his character? he's a mafia boss, and a merciless one at that, but he also wants to be soft and cute and a good brother and boyfriend and all his people safe while living in and facilitating his violent and blood soaked world. the wonderful contradiction you are Kinn <333

Kim: the boy who tries to sacrifice everything for his and their greater happiness except it just makes him all the more miserable because this show really said there is no glory in what you give up or destroy, only what you shelter and protect. he's a self-saboteur but you can't help but root for him all the more because of it. he's just so scared to care, of that being used to trap him or anyone else, yet he's falling face first into his own schemes because he loves so much and so deep.

and just. Porsche, carving himself to pieces trying not to lose anything. Chay, who will twist himself into knots trying to hold everything he sacrificed for. Vegas, who tries to drive everything away before it can abandon him and shattering when it goes. Pete, who repressed and ignored all his wants and discontent until it shattered him.

i just. i love these boys. i'm obsessed with these boys. kp had a lot of balls to juggle and a bananas premise to do it in, but they nailed all the big emotions so good, i'm still mashing potatoes over them two years later.

[npdkondraki]

hello ben npdkondraki. it is your mutual muppet. yourscp posting has made me want to get back into scp but also that is such a tall order and i was wondering if you had any sort of "starter kit" of sorts to get back into it.

covered in blood and shaking hey muppet. you put me under psychological torment by asking this of me. enjoy your crumbs

OK FIRST OFF. MANDATORY READING TO UNDERSTAND SOME THINGS IN THESE;

go read about the misc types of reality benders . really the greens are most important and come up the most but learning the others is also recommended tbh.

go read the personnel / character dossier . half of these guys are so incredibly niche they dont even come up in "standard mainsite affairs" but theres some good ones on there. pick and choose whoever you like and go from there

go read the o5 command dossier. im only recommending this because they play a fairly large role in wider scp antics. this is literally just surface level info about them however you gotta take it upon yourself to learn more. surprisingly i know next to nothing about the o5 so i am for once Not the person to ask about them

ok thats all back to the good shit thank u. everything from here on out is tales or scips that i classify as tales for some fucking reason dont even ask its too convoluted. enjoy my hand-crafted selection of insanities

annon - im biased i just really like annon. but its good starter material i think?????????????? maybe. im assuming so. anyway this ones about the o5 council i told you theyd come up i hope you read about them otherwise this will like . probably not make sense

duke 'till dawn - i dont need to say why im including this one. anyway this ones got some good characterization in it. also dracula is there

excerpts from "how to survive when reality doesn't", by alto clef - transcript of a lecture from clef its Really Good and i enjoy the characterization. id say its a pretty good view on how it speaks + how it generally composes itself .:-)

transcript of dr alto clefs seminar, "reality benders and you: how to survive when existence doesn't" - dj khaled voice Anotha One. again i just like the characterization here + good view on how she does its job

incident 239-b- clef-kondraki - this one is MANDATORY if you read nothing else here READ THIS ONE. anyways. good writing + baller characterization + good story + everything here fucks severely no notes. written exclusively in the form of transcripts of audio logs and camera footage. i think this is a good look at how most of them compose themselves under stress .:-) (BONUS: theres an abridged version which sucks badly and i love it. its the normal version but its lolfoundation now. its great. its awful. this one isnt mandatory its just a fun extra) (also read supplemental report 239-b-192 for. additional lore)

routine psychological evaluations by dr glass - this one is stupid but it is a good starting point. this is where a lot of the fanon ideas of them come from BUT! its pretty accurate to their actual characters too so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

yesterday - this one is really angsty im sorry. unforchies its also mandatory reading. read about these guys during the last day of their lives NOW

the king is dead - im stretching the term "starter point" pretty thin i think but it is semi-important knowledge ????????? kind of ? it gets brought up several times in misc tales & canons so its a starter point To Me.

epitaph - once again stretching the term "starter point" but this is semi-important knowlege vis a vis gears & iceberg and why theyre Like That. also its really good and id be amiss to not include it honestly

ok thats all the ones i can think of. im sure im missing some but . go forth go read about other tales

[from-the-coffee-shop-in-edoras]

Today in “Tolkien’s Northmen Totally Rule Actually”…

You know what’s a cool and often overlooked part of the story of the Oath of Eorl/founding of Rohan?

When Cirion, the Steward of Gondor, was under desperate pressure from invading enemies and decided to make a last-ditch effort to ask the Éothéod (descendants of the Northmen who would go on to become the Rohirrim) for help, he sent out 6 riders to carry that ask. Only 1 of the 6 made it to the Éothéod and their lord, Eorl, alive — and just barely! His name was Borondir, and he rode back to Gondor alongside Eorl and his people to join the battle at the Field of Celebrant. Sadly, Borondir died in the fighting, but his death helped achieve the great victory that saved Gondor and led to the founding of Rohan.

The cool thing is that Borondir wasn’t just some swift and capable Gondorian errand rider. He was a descendant of one of the Northmen who had gone to live in Gondor over a thousand years before, when Eorl’s ancestors first allied themselves with the Gondorians. So he was an especially appropriate messenger for a request to honor the ancient friendship between the two peoples because he was a living embodiment of that alliance — as a Gondorian by nationality but a Northman by heritage, he had a foot in both camps. He was coming to Eorl to seek the help of an ally but also the seek the help of his own people/ancestors.

The books don’t say this explicitly, but I imagine that having the message come from Borondir rather than any of the other 5 riders might have helped push Eorl over the top into deciding to join the fight. Because Tolkien was pretty clear that Eorl could very easily have decided not to get involved. Gondor was *very* far away from where the Éothéod lived so they didn’t share the same threat; the Éothéod were at peace where they were, but to have their lord and whole army ride out would leave them exposed to danger; and Cirion “had no claim on the Éothéod” that would have compelled them to come to his aid. Instead, Eorl made the decision as a “free gift of friendship,” and perhaps that friendship was at the top of his mind because the messenger in front of him was one who evoked the old alliance by his mere existence.

And yes, it was clear to the Éothéod that they shared a kinship with Borondir — we can see this from the fact that it’s specifically noted that Borondir’s death was mourned by *both* the Gondorians and the Éothéod. Do we think Eorl and his people would be particularly invested in any random Gondorian soldier, or are they invested in one that they recognize as one of them? Seems obvious to me.

(Final random point of interest — Borondir is also recorded in songs of the time under the name Borondir Udalraph (‘the stirrupless’) in reference to his appearance at the Field of Celebrant at Eorl’s side, which suggests to me that Borondir and the Éothéod rode bareback! Into battle! Baller move.)

Anyway. Borondir. He’s neat.

[twwings]

so I spent the last few months just marathoning The Magnus Archives??? I was curious and I have a long-ish commute that I need to fill with audio, so I went for it. I was somewhat spoiled by fanart I saw randomly over the years but not entirely spoiled, and I quite enjoyed it. Some thoughts (both positive and negative thoughts below) because I wanted to write them down as I chew over the show. Also my ramblings might be pleasurable to folks who are big fans and enjoy hearing about people listening to their thing for the first time?

Spoilers for all of TMA, but as I haven't listened to The Magnus Protocol yet (I'm sure I will) no spoilers for that.

thoughts in no particular order:

didn't know that my trypophobia could be activated aurally! thanks, season one. it's good to learn about yourself

because I had seen lots of fanarts around, I knew that Jon/Martin would eventually be a canon thing, so I just spent the early episodes making fun of Jon whenever he was mean about Martin. Jon would be like "ugh, Martin, amirite?" and I'd yell at the car speakers like "lol you're gonna MARRY that guy"

sometimes I found the show a little boring or too expositiony (like the episode where Leitner shows up) and it made me think a lot about the conditions of production, like, having fans who were super into the show and red stringing it up clearly made them want to explain things sometimes in a way not necessary to the story - or, at least, it didn't feel necessary to me as a casual listener who was coming in after the fact and not part of the fandom. maybe it felt necessary for other folks, or to the cast and crew at the time.

relatedly, oh god, I did not keep up with all the plotlines and stuff. like it took me a WHILE to realize that the show was not just gonna be standalone/anthology stuff and would have an overarching plot so I did not pay attention early on to repeated names or plots. and because I was listening on my commute I was like "welp, can't google it, gonna let it go" and I did. I'm here to tell you that the magnus archives is still enjoyable even if you don't care that much about what's going on

when I did really start to care was the end of season four/season five. absolutely love that they went there with the end of season four (I thought it'd just be a buffy-style "now we fight a BIGGER big bad at the end of this season" escalation forever, but no, they unleashed hell on earth, baller move, A+, loved it

so I was spoiled that Martin (and Jon? I wasn't sure) died at some point, though I didn't really know where or how. I also saw someone post something like "oh TMA, great show, too bad it ends after five minutes into episode 160" so from that I kind of extrapolated that Martin died in episode 160? so my experience of listening to that one was REALLY on tenterhooks because the first five minutes was Martin going for a nice walk! and then Jon getting taken over by the statement! so while listening to the middle bit of 160 I was convinced that when Martin came back from his walk Jon was gonna kill him (while possessed, obviously) as part of the ritual thing. so really the following 40 episodes of Martin being alive were pretty sweet to me. Every episode after that when Martin was alive I was like, score, bonus, love it, I'm glad Jon didn't stab him three seconds after they got into a relationship

kept listening for a physical description of Jon to match all the fanart and never got one? I guess the fanon of what Jon looks like is just super consistent for some reason?

hated Tim, I can't disguise it, I hated Tim and I was glad when he died and I was glad he didn't come back, sorry Tim fans, live your truth and I will live mine

wish there weren't so many cops on this show, tho the show did seem to recognize that a little in S5 and try to do some things about it

I'm just a huge sucker for every genre experiment in S5. omg I loved it. Terminus gets a coroner's report, The Unknowing gets slam poetry, The Flesh gets a gardening manual?????? mwah. it made me excited for the format of the statements again when they'd gotten stale. so many smart and interesting genre experiments in S5! and I, like Jon, don't even like poetry (just write some prose! I've never identified with a character more), so you know I'm impressed when I'm exclaiming about some poem

seriously! the genre experiments!!! so good

"queer couple navigate their new relationship and also The Hellscapes" = amazing, ty, also ty for doing it twice

somehow I managed not to notice the line about Jon being asexual at first and then I saw some tumblr post about it and I was like, wait what? my brain had gone pretty far down into some non-asexual fanfiction stories before I got that bit of canon and had to record-scratch freeze-frame. anyway I am pleased by the ace rep and hope to go read some non-sexual D/s for them in the future, please tell me if you know some good stuff

please also tell me if you know about fanfictions where Martin consensually feeds Jon his own memories and it's weird and intense

saw a cute fluffy domestic fanart where Jon was blind (ie had blinded himself to escape the eye) and I laughed and laughed that this is a fandom in which the happy fluffy AUs are the ones where the characters have violently blinded themselves. not to say I'm not gonna read the fluffy AUs where they've violently blinded themselves, I am, I'm sure they're lovely, it's just funny

don't think I wasn't thinking about Crowley and Aziraphale in the episode where Jon is like "what if we ran away together" in season four. When Jon is like "What if we ran away together, you and me, we could do it, what if we did" and he absolutely knows that Martin is not gonna say yes and maybe he doesn't want Martin to say yes but he wants to ask him anyway, he wants to try it anyway, because the fantasy of escape, together, is overpowering. anyway don't think I didn't think about Crowley

also laughed and laughed at the like four episodes at the end where Jon is like "maybe I should . . . . . . . . . . . become the Torment Nexus? From the classic scifi novel, Don't Become the Torment Nexus?" and first Martin and then everyone else is like "Jon, don't become the Torment Nexus" and it's really clear that you should not become the Torment Nexus but then later Jon says fuck it and becomes the Torment Nexus

I say it's really clear but the idea that you should strand and isolate and burn out the powers is not a bad one. I did like that the second to last episode was just a debate on morality with no clear resolution. that's a lovely way to send off your characters. tho it didn't matter a lot to the end plot? but still.

Jon "I think I'll just become the Torment Nexus" Simms, istg

THE TORMENT NEXUS

Sue Simms' voice is incredibly hot, Gertrude Robinson is absolutely deadass smokin, love how the Legend of Gertrude just built up over the seasons until by the end she was this like powerful callous avenging angel, no notes, might build a shrine in the woods with pictures of Gertrude in little jars

Gerry and Jurgen were both madly in love with her and she didn't notice or care because she was too busy kicking ass, no notes AT ALL

I really like the bit at the beginning of S5 where Jon is depression-listening to old archives tapes, like it's really effective to do the birthday party flashback just there when the world's just been apocalypsed, but I can't stop thinking about how Jon is listening to that tape and, in retrospect, being like "did Elias/Jonah use his all-powerful knowledge and vision to find out that there was cake in the office?" idk it really feels like Elias's motives in that flashback are like "eat cake" and no one else realizes that he's used his monstrous evil eye power to locate cake. anyway I imagine that Jon had all of these thoughts during his depression

Basira made me laugh ALL THE TIME, the voice acting was so good and she was so over everyone's shit. but at the same time there's this real softness to her at the end of S5 after she's killed Daisy, like she's still tough and grounded in her own perspective but suddenly more compassionate or sympathetic. she has such a good journey over the show

were Basira and Daisy a thing? I could not tell. maybe I should not ask. maybe I am not meant to know. maybe even asking shows how little I know, because their intense and murderous bond exceeds traditional relationship categories

I had a really nice time!!!

I will need to read fanfictions

I will need to watch animatics

I will need to seek out fanarts

the end

[utilitycaster]

Also extremely funny to me that Imogen was 100% in control of her lightning powers here. "Ooooh the people of Gelvaan were so mean when she came back" yeah because she opened fire on them dipshit. To be clear baller move from Imogen but like yeah man people do not like when you witch bolt them turns out. With that said somehow making this a love at first sight story when we know that's not how it was envisioned in character planning AND it enhances the lack of arc of it all AND the two years of absolutely nothing remains absolutely nothing is like. Really, that's all you got?