#it all comes back around thats what makes it so funny and pointless everything is so temporary and this is where my time all goes

[phagodyke]

and now I'm upset again I fucking give up

why was I fighting for my life trying to stay awake and failing at 4pm in the afternoon and now its 1:30am I cant fucking sleep at all :^/

[ohholyfanfics]

Ten Stages: Stage One| Tom Holland

Stage One: Realization, the stage where they slowly start to realize that they are falling for someone. Where Tom has a sudden realization thanks to his best mate Harrison Osterfield.

She was running late, a bit later than usual. Checking his watch once more, Tom found himself humming along to the slightly over-played tone filling the car. The hot Virginia sun causes sweat to form on his forehead; reaching over, he quickly switched the AC settings knowing she'd complain the moment she got inside the car. Biting his bottom lip, he felt a wave of relief wash through him as he watched her walk out of the building. Hair in a neat ponytail, her figure hugged by a dress that looked way too good on her. Her light pink blazer rested on her arm as she waved goodbye to a colleague before making her way over to his car.

"Ah always a gentleman.." she hummed in approval watching as he swiftly got out of the car and opening her door.

Giving her his signature boyish grin, he leaned close to her, placing a soft kiss onto her cheek. Closing her door, she couldn't help but roll her eyes, watching as he climbed back in. Tom watched as she fiddled with the climate control on her side from the corner of his eyes.

"You sure you aren't going through menopause or something.." he mumbled, backing out of the spot and soon driving them towards their weekly lunch date.

"Isn't that your job to know.." she hummed, pulling her phone out from her bag. "Plus, I think I'm a bit to young for that Thomas.." she mumbled.

"Well aren't you a doctor.." he huffed out as she took this chance to slap him across the head. The loud groan that escaped his lips was enough the have a satisfied sigh escaping her own.

"Besides the point Holland, how was the first half of work? Any life saving surgery?"

He shrugged, he loved what he did, and every day, he was thankful for it. Sure it was hard work to get where he was now, but here he stood. Now three years into residency, he had somewhat of an idea of what he wanted to do. After learning that a position would be opening up at the hospital, he knew this is where he was meant to be.

"Not really, pretty slow today.."

She nodded her head; Tom was a bit further along than she was. He was nearing the end of his term and now had a whole different set of pressure resting on his shoulders.

"A spot is opening up at the hospital though.." he mumbled once they were seated at the country club—the same country club where they had first been introduced.

"Wow Tom, are you gonna apply?" She asked with wide eyes. They hadn't talked much about his plans after med school; she knew he had some sort of idea of staying local. "Is it in the department you're in now?"

"Um it's actually in the trauma department.." he stated as she nodded her head. This was the first time he was actually voicing his future plans with her. It wasn't that he kept her in the dark or that she felt entitled in being informed. Tom was her best friend, and she just wanted to support him in any way possible.

"Wow that's huge.." she stated as he nodded his head. He knew she had been seeing or talking to some guy from the hospital. It was possibly the first time since March that she had actually gone out on a date. Tom doesn't know if she went on a date or if they even still talked.

"Not sure if it's something I want though."

Y/N knew that was a code for closing that conversation, so she did just that. In an instant, their discussion switched to the fact that she will be gone for a few days. Tom had promised to look after her place along with being on dog sitter duties for Layla. He hummed softly as she basically gave him a tiny little run down of her short weekend trip and promising takeout the moment she's back. He knew it was a code word for debriefing after spending a few days confined with her family members.

"Harrison's coming down right?" She asked once they were seated at their usual table. "He texted me asking if I'll be around.."

"Yeah, he's staying a couple days.." he mumbled, eyes scanning the menu though it was kinda pointless. He already knew both their words.

"Hmm, it'll be good for you." She mumbled, clearing her throat. As much as y/n hated to admit, she knew this time was difficult for any medical student. The ending was nearing, and the sudden pressure to have everything set in stone was terrifying. However, she knew as much as anyone that Tom was in a much different mindset than when they first met.

The Tom Holland sitting before her was different; he had a future planned out for himself. Sure, he didn't plan ahead like she had, but the small amount he did was a great start. She also knew that pushing him into making decisions was never an intelligent choice; Tom knew what he wanted and had all the necessary tools to pursue whatever it was he wanted in life. One thing she was clear on was that he was staying in Virginia.

"Can I ask you something.."

She looked up at him nodding her head. His tone was slightly different, closer to the one he used the morning after their last candle and wine night. The same night where she may have cried a bit too much in his guest room.

"That night at the beach, when when we made the bet, where you in a sense preparing yourself? You know, for like the breakup?" He asked softly, thanking the waiter as they set their drinks down.

She looked at him a little dumbfounded, not really knowing what to say. She knew what she had to say, but the words couldn't seem to come out. She looked at him for a few seconds, mind racing before finally speaking.

"No, I wasn't. If I'm being completely and utterly honest with you Tom, I thought Marc was maybe the one. We were together for so long and everything was so close to perfect. I don't think I really ever saw us ending.."

He nodded his head, ignore the slight sting upon hearing those words, not that he was surprised. It hurt him to know that something that she believed in so desperately ended without any explanation. He couldn't even begin to imagine what she was feeling or what she thought the moment everything sunk in. However, Tom also knew y/n was a lot stronger than everyone gave her credit for.

"Have you talked to him?"

"No, he didn't answer the first couple of texts I sent. So I guess I kinda got the hint you know. I'm not necessarily bothered by it, I mean I was in the beginning but now it kind feels numb."

"Shouldn't you like talk to a professional love.." he mumbled as she smiled at him softly. "I know it's in a sense traumatizing.."

"Don't worry doctor, I talk to my shrink about it. Im kinda coming to terms with the fact that maybe we weren't meant to be.." she mumbled as he nodded her head. "I just, I'm focusing on myself and getting through all this. If love comes my way it comes my way..."

"How knows darling, the one might be right under your nose." He chuckled, leaning over to bop her on the nose. He couldn't help the laugh that escaped his lips, watching her nose scrunch up and eyes crinkle up.

"God I hate you sometimes.."

It's been two days since Y/N had left for New Hampshire on a small family getaway. As much as she wanted to drag him along, and as much as Tom hated to admit it, a weekend with the Y/L/N sounded pretty amazing; Harrison finally got some time off and was coming to visit. He was had just finished stocking his fridge with a few essential items the two would need before the door open and the sound of barking welcomed the blond inside the townhouse.

He couldn't help the sense of familiarity that washed over him seeing his best friend come into view. Tom hated to admit it, but he needed to see him, more than he could like to admit. After a hug that might have lasted a few seconds longer, they were both drowning in beer and one of Harrison's favorite dishes made by y/n.

"Where is our own personal pyschatrists anyways?" he asked before taking a sip of his beer.

"Went up north to visit family, something about get together or whatever.."

Harrison nodded his head, picking at the label on his beer. The two had done a decent amount of catch-up, but he couldn't seem to notice the lack of mention of his neighbor.

"Marc must be happy to see her.." Harrison mumbled as Tom tensed up at the name. He wasn't sure what Harrison did and didn't know. "I actually ran into him a few days ago."

Tom choked slightly on his beer as he looked back at him at a loss. He wrecked his brain on what he could say but kept coming out short. The one thing coming to mind was just blurring out how Marc suddenly stopped responding without an explanation. How he suddenly can't stop thinking about their stupid bet, and how every day the chances of becoming a reality increase.

"Mate, they aren't together anymore..."

"Stop bullshitting me Holland, Marc looked very much in love with her when I asked him how things were between them.."

Tom couldn't help but scoff, thinking back to the night she had shown up with too many bottles of wine and a broken heart.

"Mate he ghosted it, thats a pretty funny way of showing your love."

"Fuck, I had no idea."

"No one did mate."

The past few days were pleasant and relaxing; the two spent time together. Harrison was just what time needed, and within the short few days Harrison was there, Tom realized a couple of things:

One that he couldn't possibly live without both Y/N and Harrison in his life.

Two that he was going to take the position at the Trauma Department.

"Thomas Stanley did you miss me..." she giggled softly as he brought her into a bone-crushing embrace. The sigh that escaped his lips was overwhelming.

Maybe, you don't see her as just a friend, mate. I don't do half of the shit you do with her, with Jessica.."

"Shut up, Y/N.." he mumbled, slightly pushing her away while shaking Harrison's voice out of his head. "I got that wine you told me about.."

"Yum, it's good." she stated as she took a seat at the island. He couldn't help but smile as she leaned over, smelling the candle he had picked out. "Cactus Bloom?"

"Its a good debriefing scent, not too intesne.."

I don't bother to memorize small insignificant facts about just some random girl, not even if we're close. I'd understand a few minor details, but not all.

She watched as he poured them both a glass before handing her a plastic spoon and pushing a carton of takeout towards her. She hummed in appreciation, sending him a wink.

"So how was your few days with Harrison?" she asked, swirling the pasta around. "How's he doing?"

"He's doing, says the kids say he speaks funny.."

"He does speak funny, you both do.." she hummed, locking eyes with him and a wide grin. "But its a cute funny.."

"Funny."

She hummed, sending him a wink before taking a few more sips of her wine. He sighed, leaning back in his seat as he took a good look at her. She looked different; she was happier, lighter even. It was clear these few days away did good on her, and he was glad.

You notice the little things about her Tom, from the color of her nails to when her mood shifts. No one reads that deep unless they fancy someone.

"I'm gonna take the spot in the truma department.."

Her lips formed an 'O' before launching herself into his arms. Her lips lightly brushing the skin against his neck, causing his arms to hold her a little tighter.

Now tell me, Holland, how does she make you feel? Don't hold back anything Tom, it's me. You can be honest, mate. Do you fancy Y/N?

"God, Tommy I'm so happy for you.."

The way her eyes sparkled caused a storm to awaken within him. His heart was beating a bit too fast, the sudden urge to pull her into a kiss. The feeling was overwhelming as she started to ramble still in his embrace.

It was at that moment that the realization kicked in. Tom Holland was starting to fall for his best friend, and he wasn't sure how to deal with it.

Taglist:

@thenoddingbunny-blog @blueberrynonnie @bi-lmg

[littleblackqrow]

((Alright, so I just got home from work and @flightofaqrow did a fantastic job of writing up a meta about this here but I’d like to throw my two cents into the ring and say that Qrow’s semblance had nothing to do with the bomb stopping. 

I’m going to start with some earlier headcanons I’ve seen floating around with how Clover used his pin, and how we saw him use it through Volume 7. Whenever Clover needed some extra luck, he’d flick his pin, it would shine, and then he’d do something seemingly impossibly lucky. The man was covered from head to toe in good luck charms, from his horseshoe projectile, to the rabbit’s foot that he kept on his belt. A looot of theories have speculated that Clover used these talismen as a focus, somewhere he could direct his excess spillover Good Fortune and store it up for when he really needed to pull something lucky out of his ass. 

We know that it is possible to imbue inanimate objects with semblance and aura. Adam and his sword come to mind, considering that he could store up the kinetic energy that hit his sword, and then send it back. I see no reason that Clover couldnt do the same to his pin.

And there was, in fact, a tiny sparkle on the pin itself that stopped the bomb and saved the people that Clover cared the most for: his team, his new partner, and Robyn, whom he had some strange friendly chemistry with that was never explored or explained. Considering they needed some real fucking good luck right about then, its not unreasonable to assume that the last dregs of Clover left - the aura he’d stored in his emblem - reacted and saved everyone. 

This is way more interesting to me than the idea that Qrow and Clover have identical semblances with opposite outlooks. For one thing, it cheapens their lived experiences at the extremes of the spectrum almost more than having them “cancel” each other out.

For another, it would effectively make everything Qrow has been through, and everything he has yet to work through pointless. As Ray pointed out, there’s no way that Qrow hasnt tried every single option open to him. Semblance and aura training, thinking positively, changing his outlook on life. It doesnt work. At BEST, Qrow might be able to suppress some of the worst effects of his semblance. 

His journey, his pain, is all about wanting desperately to fix a part of himself that you cannot fix, that causes nothing but problems, that keeps him isolated and gives him nothing but mental anguish. Qrow has struggled his whole life to deal with something crippling, even when its not threatening the ones he loves. Really sit down and think what being bad luck incarnate could entail:

Missing alarms constantly

burned or undercooked food. Alternatively getting the wrong meal at a restaurant or the server just forgetting your table all together

drinks spilled over important documents or nice clothes

Just barely missing a bus or taxi and having to wait 15-30 minutes for the next one 

dropping/knocking the phone in the toilet, or in the trash and not noticing

blue screen of death when doing important computer work

dropping keys into a storm drain

trips, falls, bashing funny bones, smacking your face into doors and cabinets...

This scene from Pure Luck (1991), just happening. All. the. Time.

And thats just to Qrow himself. That’s someone’s shitty, bad, no good, terrible luck day, and it happens to Qrow every day of his life. Thats not even going into bigger, more potentially lethal effects Misfortune could have. And if it was just him, maybe he’d be able to bear it, but he makes that happen to everyone else around him.

Maybe changing his perspective could evolve his semblance, but just having him suddenly be able to influence all probability should have been able to manifest itself earlier. Nothing has really changed for Qrow other than he quit drinking (presumably he wasnt drinking as a kid so that wouldnt do it). He’s just realized that luck isnt the only thing that makes it hard for people to connect. “I never thought about it like that” is Qrow realizing that Robyn is also ostracized for a semblance that is not inherently harmful. 

I would love for him to grow more comfortable with his semblance. Maybe if Qrow had been supported as a kid, Misfortune could have been more like a probability randomizer. At this point in his life, though, I think Misfortune is set in stone.

Whether he stays a Harbinger of Doom, or is able to spin it into a light-hearted 1991 buddy cop comedy starring Martin Short is up to Qrow, but he’s always going to be bad luck incarnate.

[amitojo]

6 Steps to Overcome Fear / Self-Limiting Beliefs

6 Steps to Overcome Fear / Self-limiting Beliefs

At first, I didn’t think I’d write about this. The challenge to myself was to just post the video, that’s it. But witnessing such amazing response I thought I’d share more and give you a background of what was going on in my head and how I chose to go past my limiting belief.

I recently uploaded a video on all my social media profiles. This video was purely out of my commitment to my growth and me moving beyond my mind-made fears and limitations. If you haven’t watched the video — Watch it below 👇 (not for content but for context)

Notice how I put “mind-made” in bold; it is because there are two kinds of fear. One is real, one is not.

One is life-threatening, like you falling down from a height or fear of crossing roads in fast moving traffic, etc.

The other fear is made by our mind to “protect” the ego, to keep us in a safe, comfortable place (emotionally). Basic example of mind-made fears is — one not raising their hand in class which is equivalent to one not sharing / communicating cause of fear of being judged. This fear encourages behaviour which is safe and comfortable. There’s not much to lose per se, but then there’s not much to gain as well.

Growth is outside the comfort zone. Growth is in doing things we’ve never done before, learning things we haven’t learnt before.

I am going to be talking about mind-made fear / self-limiting beliefs.

I am certain we all have gone beyond our mind-made fears / limitations some time or the other, out of necessity if not by choice. However, in this article, I will share the exact steps I took that inspired me to go beyond the limiting belief so it can be replicated and we can choose to move beyond our made up limitations at whim and not only when it is absolutely necessary.

----

I thought of this idea (of sharing a video) last week. I remember I was in the shower, just contemplating life, dreams, goals.

I thought about my dream of leading/influencing people (leading, educating, training, DJing). That lead me to think about the repercussions of coronavirus on the music, entertainment, and training/education industry. How a lot of artists/leaders/trainers/educators are going “live” on various social medias to further their vision and provide value. I thought about how I could also do the same and that’s where I stopped. I immediately said to myself, “Nah, I can’t do that.”

I introspected, why can’t I do that?

The answer was fear of being judged.

Thats when I thought I’d take a step beyond this fear and upload a video.

One half of me (the higher-self) instantly agreed to do this as it saw all the possibilities, the bright side, how it will expand me. It took this as an opportunity. I thought to myself, here I am, one who dreams to perform in front of people, lead people, one who dreams of fame, etc, and I am not comfortable with myself?

How could I lead people when I am not confident about myself? How could I play in front of people if am not confident about myself? — To be specific — When I get conscious of people looking at me and listening to me! [I have been comfortable with 1 on 1 conversations but 1 to group, not that much — working on it]

I thought to myself — How could I be everything that I wanted and more without being completely comfortable with myself — be it with the way I look, the way I talk, the way I am in general.

I assume that all the people I aspire to be like — the ones who are leading, the ones who are performing, the ones who are comfortable putting out videos, etc, are like that because they are comfortable with themselves, how they are, who they are, and are confident about themselves.

I have got to own myself and accept myself as is, I thought to myself! This is it, this is me!

Extra motivation came in the form of the realisation that I will be able to share / contribute much more value via video on top of what I am and will be providing through just writing.

So I said to myself — challenge accepted!

I took this idea as a stepping stone to achieve my goals and dreams.

The other half of me (the ego), however, did not like this idea at all! It was not confident about this. It thought this idea was stupid, pointless. It’s funny how the ego was giving me two contradicting reasons to stop me from recording and uploading the video.

People will make fun of you. You’ll look like an idiot. No one cares about your upload or what you’re doing, etc.

You are just doing this to satisfy your ego (lol) [I read somewhere, as we learn more, become smarter, our egos do too. #JusSharin]

Basically anything to get me not to do this.

My ego was asking me not to take any action — to protect itself. I had a lot of reasons not to do this, one of the main ones being — “what will people say or think?” (Hence I took around a week to upload a 30-second video. I did it nonetheless.)

This question of “what will people think/say?” alone has stopped me from living my best life since forever. I get present to this thought’s deep-rooted nature in my life, in my way of being each day. I get present to the impact it has on my life, the opportunity costs and it drives me to move ahead, go beyond this dialogue and be/do/say whatever I want to be/do/say. [It does, a lot of times, make me feel like a loser too, I won’t lie— mainly when I accept the limitations and  I don’t take any action. ]

“Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action.”

Benjamin Disraeli

I have been on a conscious journey of self-expression since 2013, I think.

Self expression for me = to be, do, say who I am, what/how I feel — unapologetically.

I have noticed how I suppress my thoughts, emotions, point of views and I am actively working on communicating the same.

I have come a long way from where I was back then, no doubt, but there is still a long way to go!

3-4 years back, I gave myself a challenge to write about my feelings, share my journey, my point of views. I was pretty nervous back when I started. It was new for me. But it was a small step towards self-expression. Once I did start writing however, it felt freeing and I got really positive response from people around me. Now I am pretty comfortable with that —  so much so that I started a blog!

Now, I gave myself another challenge — to put out a video of me on social media.

This meant A LOT to me. I don’t know if you have noticed, but I am not one of those who post their pictures, selfies, or post videos of themselves or go live. I’m not comfortable getting clicked… So, posting a video which I took of myself — online? 😅

But I did it. And you know what, I felt great. I respect myself more. I love myself more. I am proud of myself.

----

So down to business, 6 steps I used to overcome my fear / self-limiting belief

Identify the fear / limiting belief

Get present to the impact it has had on your life till now.

Get present to its impact in the future, if things remain the same — the opportunity costs

Imagine if you didn’t have that fear — what would you be/do/say? How would you look like? How would life look like?

Ask yourself, what is one thing you could do today that would take you closer to that you/life without fear? One step to take you beyond that fear/limitation. It could be a baby step.

Take that step and acknowledge / celebrate it (It is extremely important to acknowledge and celebrate. Success breeds success. — Small victories form momentum and bring about big victories.)

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”

Lao Tzu

I took the baby steps and I love myself for that. I feel powerful. I guess the most powerful feeling is when you go beyond your own limitations; when you prove it to yourself that YOU CAN DO IT! That’s a different kind of high.

I felt so good and freeing after posting the video and receiving the amazing response, that I made a youtube channel! 😂

PLIS Subscribe 🙂 https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9hui_ukYf811voHO6HrT1g?

Also, I used the above-mentioned method to start waking up at 5am!!! I don’t know if you know, but I have always considered myself a night person. It was effortless for me to stay up till 4,5,6 am and the best time to sleep for me was when the sun was rising. My closest friends call me DK (Dark Knight) cause I always meet them late at night, nothing to do with the fact that I usually wear the color Black (haha). I never saw myself as a morning person, but now I am waking up at 5 am 2-3 times a week. My aim is to wake up at 4 am on weekdays at least.

Late nights were productive (when I was at home). Late night is a good time to work because there’s little to no distractions. Same is the case with waking up early morning though. There is little to no distraction And trust me when I say this — the most productive days of MY LIFE have been when I woke up at 4/5 am!

*Bonus Tips*

If your mind says you can’t do it — Look for other people who have done what you’re committed to doing. If they can do it, you can do it! (Learn how they did it, what worked for them)

Repeat! — If you keep repeating the 6 steps, be it in any area of life, for any reason — you will not recognize yourself when you look back. The amount of growth and expansion you will achieve is going to be insane.

----

To conclude, this method did work for me in different areas of life and I believe it will work for you too if you apply it as per the steps outlined above.

Don’t be hard on yourself if you don’t see results right away though, it is a journey. Be patient, and more importantly, be consistent with your effort and never give up (characteristics of the people who succeed).

Start with baby steps. I am certain that you can accomplish whatever you set your mind to!

Extremely important note — ***All of this (me sharing and expressing my point of views), is possible because of the amazing listening and reception I get from my community (both online and offline) — my friends, family — all the generous, loving, and supportive people who have made this journey of self-expression, self-awareness so pleasant, peaceful and joyous. Thank you so much for being so supportive and encouraging always! Means A LOT!***

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you 🙏

Lots of love!

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

That Be Some Good Buttercream

Summary- Steve and Bucky get your help in replicating a howling commando days battle using Christmas baking fun. But... Does anything ever quite work out the way it should? Set in the same characters I used in Night In, Looking Pretty Fly and Popping Pez and Mismatched Socks. Written for @official-and-unstable-satan​ 300 Follower Celebration Challenge. She still has many prompts, check it out. Prompts in italiacs. No warnings, all fluffy. 

Word Count- 1.6k

A/N- so proud of your accomplishments babes, you are an amazing writer and I love getting lost in your stories and listening to your ideas. I know your just gonna keep going up from here. Love you always babygirl 💚😈💚😈💚😈💚

“Bucky, they came around from the south end” 

“No they did not. I remember Steve, I was there.”

“Yea, and so was I” 

You and Sam had been listening to the two super soldiers carry on at the oversized table in the compounds kitchen dining area for a good hour before you readjusted the volume on the tv once more. Sam, half laying over half the couch remained scrolling on his phone, remarking. 

“Aint gonna do you no good, they just get louder.”

You sigh and hit the off button, he was right. Might as well go see what these two were up to anyways. Pushing yourself off the couch, Sam promptly stretched his legs out onto where you were sitting, making himself comfterable. “See you on the other side Kid!” He joked, settling into watching youtube. 

Wandering in, you saw the two men bent over  large map, Steve with pencil in hand drawing arrows to discern where they started from, stretching it across what looked like a military base. Bucky shook his head. 

“No no no, Punk, I wasnt up there, I was down here” 

“Bucky, I had you up on the highest point, it just looks weird on paper.” 

“You know what, this is pointless.” You could see Bucky getting aggitated with there project, pushing himself away from the table. “We need like... a 3D model to get this right.” 

Steve to straightened up, his arms folding as he looked down at the heavily marked paper. “Well... Tony does have some...” You interrupt in this time, moving over to the table and taking a peek at what they were doing. 

“You know, I have an idea of how to make you two a 3D model.” Both the men quirked brows, curious as to what you had in mind. "Givingerbread reanatcment.” 

You expected a rebuttal, a laugh, anything, since you were joking. But the two of them actually looked thoughtful, glancing at each other. “It would be easier then trying to draw it out” Steve mentioned. “And easier then trying to get Tony to set up the AI model for us.” 

“Plus we get some fucking cookies... Im in.” Bucky grinned, obviously pleased in the options of snacks. What started as a joke from you became a very serious matter as the two Soldiers dragged you into the kitchen. The two of them looking at you expectedly. 

“I was just joking guys, Im not making you a hydra replica gingerbread base. You know how much shit that would take.” At this point you backtracking a bit, wishing the words hadnt fallen out of your mouth so damn easily cause you thought is was funny. 

“Nonsense, you wont be doing all of it. Were going to help.” Steves already moving to wash his hands as Bucky is digging through a drawer and slipping on a god damn “Kiss the Cook” apron, he found in a drawer, ties it swiftly around his back and rolls up his sleeves. 

“You know you always wanted to boss us around Doll.” Bucky smirks, wiggling brows in a teasing manner. “You finally get your chance.” 

You look between the two men, the two of them nodding in encouragement, Steve composed as ever, waiting for You to explain how to start, and Bucky well he was opening drawers, pulling out random stuff that he thought you might use. He held up a spatula with a smirk, slapping the utinsel against his palm. “How about we get this train moving kids.” 

Relenting, you turn to your phone for a recipe. “Okay fine, since you all insist. We need flour, sugar, eggs, ginger, cinnamon....” While your listing, both men are scrambling to find everything, and piling it on the counter, yourself you bring out some bowls, cookie cutters, lets face it. You needed the actual men to decorate like howling commandos. Turning on the oven to get it preheated, you search for decorations. “Steve, store run? We gotta make this accurate you know, and Buckys all dressed up for a day baking. Hate to send him." You just kinda motion lver Buckys getup, the kiss the cook stretched over his chest, the apron a size to small for him really.

Your already grabbing paper and jotting down a detailed list of food coloring, frosting, candies and such. Steve snatched the list when you held it out, he had a general idea of it all and nodded. "Dont hesitate to put Bucky to work. He just pretends to be all intimidating."

You roll your eyes and back in the kitchen theres a "Steve your a dick" retort from Bucky whos looking over the mess of ingredients piled on the counter. Steve, seemingly joyful as he grabbed keys and left, you suspect you might not see him at least another hour or two. No worries, you had the other super soldier on hand.

Heading back in you hand Bucky a bowl and eggs. "Start cracking, separating yolk from white, and no shells." You cant help but from watching him, looking a bit like a lost child, before he he starts to crack eggs and inspect for shells. You watch from the corner of your eye as you put together the dry ingredients, and start mesuring out the molasses, talking him through the rest of the buttercream frosting ingredients.

Dipping your finger in his finished product, you lick the tip of your finger, smirking at his widened eyes. Yea Steve, hes very intimidating. You maybe took a bit to much pleasure in teasing Bucky on occasion. "Mmmhh my very favorite part.... "

He cleared his throat and looked away, it might be a bit mean, but he would give it back later, this was a dance the two of you played. "Okay, what now?" He said a bit gruff and you grab your rolling pin, holding it to him.

Eyeing it a moment, his brow arched. "Ya want me to roll the dough?"

"Yea Buck, nice and thin, since you two want to make all these outer buildings as well." Pointing to Steve's sketching, And you reached in the dough and piled it on the counter on front of Bucky. "And Steve said to put you to work."

"I notice you gave Steve the easy job." He muttered as he started to flatten the dough.

"I knew you were more capable."

Bucky couldn't hide the grin at the compliment, and afterwards you both measured, cut and got the cookie sheets in the oven. Stealing part of the couch back from Sam and watching trash tv till the oven beeped. Bucky vaulted over the couch, head back into the kitchen and pulled them out of the oven.

"Are they firm?" You ask, peeking at them, a light brush of your fingers against them. The room smelled like bake gingerbread and smooth sugar. Tempting delectables to say the least.

"Yup, now what?"

"Cool and mantle your buildings." You say as You slide them off onto wire racks. "Go get the frosting, and I will show you." Already he was rummaging in the fridge to retrieve it. Peeling off the plastic cling, you pick up one of the cooler pieces and edged it with icing. Folding two pieces together. "Easy as that. You try."

Bucky took it so seriously, the tip of his tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth as he piped that icing. His brows furrowed together in a dip right at the center. You bite back a grin and get a large dollop of icing on your finger and flick it at the man. Landing right in his face. He drops his cookie in surprise and blinks though the icing. "Fucken hell, Y/N! Whats that for?" Wiping it off, he flicks it back at you and you squeal getting hit.

That's war!

"Oh its on Barnes" smirking as you grab a cookie and crumble it, shooting it at him. Cookies fly, icing it flung, flour, and sugar is used to blind one another, you two ducked around the table, screaming and yelling insults playfully.

Bucky tried using the hose at the kitchen sink to spray you, in which you ducked and rolled right into him, the two of you collapsing in a heap on the floor among all your hard work, broken and scattered. Steve stood in the doorway, arms laden with two paper bags, his jaw hanging open at the mess. Bucky pokes you to get your attention and the two of you sit up, covered. Head to toe in frosting, flour and cookies.

"I was just gone an hour..."

"Its a long time to be left unsupervised." You shrug as you smear some frosting off your shirt and lick it off your finger, Bucky helped himself to your shirt frosting to since he had thrown half the bowl on you.

"Oh damn, thats good!" He grins.

"What about this is good?! You mean your gingerbread murder scene?!" Steve toed a dead gingerbread man with the tip of his shoe.

Bucky looked around and glared at his friend. "IT WAS HISTORICALLY ACCURATE" His voice raided to defend the mess and you promptly stuff a cookie in his mouth to shut him up.

"Come on Steve. Did the Hydra base not look like this after you two and the howling commandos were done?" You throw a cookie at him which bounced off his chest. "Eat a cookie, you feel better" next to you Bucky continued eating broken gingerbread men, grinning at his friend and nodding.

"Best damn cookies besides your mama's!" Bucky added between mouthfuls

"I just... Pick this up you two before tony throws a fit." Turning with the bags of candy he bought, passing Sam, he ditched them on the man still scrolling youtube

"You couldn't watch them for two seconds Sam?"

"And break up that little love fest? Puh-lease" Sam grinned at Steve and dug into the paper bags looking through the snacks, pulling out twizzlers.

"SCORE!"

@what-is-your-plan-today @p8tn0lish @kitkatd7 @stuckonjbbarnes @sebbbystaaan @kimisama1989 @simsadventures @that-damn-girl @imanuglywombat @jtargaryen18 @stardancerluv​ @princess-evans-addict​

[cosmosrival]

👀 Does Kama like to peg Ash? 👀

u know what... ? u know what ?

KamAsh headcanons (AND NSFW HEADCANONS) time!!!!!! i don’t care anymore i had fun writing the kama*master ones 

so have these !!!!! might also become a character analysis and trivia because i cannot stay consistent when im talking about them !!!!

reminder bfore i start: ITS FINAL ASCENSION KAMA. NOT THE OTHERS. 

ok we’re good now

i think kama tops by default in every relationship they’re in, but their true strength resides in the fact that they are vers. and i believe that ash is ALSO vers. because flustered kama is a luxury and super cute and delicious and BECAUSE YOU WOULDNT LET YOUR GOD OF LOVE TOP YOU ???? ARE YOU SURE ??? YOU WOULDNT LET URSELF BE PAMPERED BY UR GOD ? ARE U REALLY SURE ?

ash is very cute because he’s gap moe, his respect for parvati shows that he’s not just a rage machine and can very much think normally like ur regular gold hearted delinquent anime boy !!!! god i Love him... anyway, i think he respects kama enough to look out for them and worship them like a proper God!! i believe that ash would call kama things like ‘your divinity’, ‘your grace’ (and if u have some jp knowledge, i think he’d add “-sama” to their name) because they... are god? (i think arjuna and karna also call them like this !! polite mahabharatan warriors are good boys)

since ash never married in the epic, i like to think that it’s because he was very much focused on his duty and ALSO because his participation in the war was out of loyalty towards king dhritarashtra and hastinapur so he was... perhaps planning on getting married once the war Ends ??? HE WAS OUT THERE FIGHTING !!!!!!! but we all know what happened to him (sheds a tear) 

anyway i think he’d be a bit of a masochist. (the room falls silent and you all look at me)

SORRY THAT WAS VERY HARDCORE ALL OF A SUDDEN but hear me out, FIRST OF ALL this man was able to endure an immortality curse until lord krishna eventually decided to free him so he’d join the throne and SECOND OF ALL, in his interlude he speaks of looking for ways to repent because he regrets what he’s done. and since we’re kinky over here, i’m gonna throw gentle femdom in the mix bc i think it fits them and its cute. especially because kama is literally the best person he could apologize to. and the only person who’d make his repentance pleasurable (because its their mcfreakin talent !!!!!) even if it technically wasnt his fault, i think his need to atone would just... overpower that and he’ll want to do anything kama wants, just to earn a crumb of forgiveness (without being desperate about it because... HES GOT AN EGO STILL, COME ON)

i like to think that he’s tried to apologize properly before... in a tense moment when they’re both more calm and alone. but kama stopped him because it’d just make things worse. if kama loses the need to have a grudge, will they even be useful as a servant anymore ? would they forgive themself for being so lenient ? forgiving their murderer’s protégé when they havent even had proper revenge ? kamadeva might have been a benevolent god before, but now they’re a lot more malicious (mara...) and this pointless anger would just make them look like an idiot (because servant shiva doesnt exist (YET?)). and i think ashwatthama would understand. 

so he won’t say the words “i’m sorry” because it’d just hurt them. 

THO WILL HE STOP LOOKING OUT FOR THEM AND SPOILING THEM ? no he will not

kama would find him interesting because he’s perfect bullying fodder but as i said before, it doesn’t work on ash. HE’S A WARRIOR ??? A CURSED IMMORTAL ? DO U THINK THAT PETTY PRANKS LIKE THE ONES KAMA DOES WOULD AFFECT HIM ? “are you bored ?” he asks while they’re trying to surprise him from behind and jumpscare him, without even turning to face them. kama groans in defeat.

SEDUCTION DOESNT WORK ON HIM EITHER AND THATS SO FUNNY but thats where it becomes subtle, he grows attached to them because they’ve gotten used to eachother’s presence (and strength in battle... small things like that). love can be born out of simple things!! blatant bimbo seduction doesn’t work on him but when he comes to wake kama up, and they’re too lazy to get up or float and groggily order him to lean forward so they can hold onto his shoulders so he’ll lift them up when he straightens himself is...

he’d find it cute. they’re cute. when they reach the cafeteria it’s still quite early and he already knows what they like to eat and get their plate ready for them while they’re waking up and yawning. god... they’re cute... its so subtle and cute...

......ok time to be horny !!! (TOMATOES GET FLUNG AT ME)

i think that they’d reach this stage after a while, when kama just gives up on bothering him cuz he’s annoyingly strong (and ganesha is more fun to bother anyway) and since they’re around eachother very often, kama would grow comfortable around him. same for ashwatthaman ! they’re very nice to be around when they’re calm and just chillin. 

the only teasing kama hasn’t tried on him is being openly horny and come onto him, asking him things about himself. and ash revealing that he’s never done these sorts of things before (HES A LIL MAD CUZ ITS EMBARRASSING ... DAMN... !!!), i think it’d give kama ideas. I MLAUGHING TYPING THIS BC I DIDNT THINK OF HOW THEY’D COAX HIM INTO GETTING NAUGHTY YET AND IT SOUNDS LIKE A BAD PORN INTRO AHHHHHHHHHHH

ok yeah like i said i didnt think of the coaxing yet but knowing ash, kama could turn it into a competition and make fun of him a little and he’s ready to go. arrogant dummy. 

he’s polite but his arrogance is a charm point because he’ll def want to prove himself to the god of carnal love. imagine kama’s reaction when he actually outfucks them.

HONESTLY ? I BELIEVE HIS WARRIOR STAMINA WOULD JUST BE INCREASED ONCE HE BECAME A SERVANT. AND KAMA WAS NEVER A WARRIOR theyre a lavish and lazy god.

BUT THEIR EGO IS WOUNDED and their shocked reaction is cute and ash wants to keep holding them for a little longer

their sessions genuinely feel like hatefucking at first since they’re both weirdly competitive like that but then, guilt hits and kama feels like an idiot because they just came onto someone thats supposedly their enemy??? and they’re a bit distant in the aftermath, they almost... look a little shy. 

ashwatthaman isnt beating himself over it as much as they are tho. it felt good, he got to see a new side of them he never thought he’d get to see so intimately and... he outfucked God :) SO HE IS PROUD. but looking at them lying there, breathless and looking all sad worries him. so i can see him leaning forward and spooning them, holding their hand and kissing their fingers and it’s such a soft gesture, kama stutters and asks “Where.. where did you learn to do that.” and seeing their reaction, Ash blushes as well and explains that he saw his father kiss his mom’s hand once???? AND ITS... SUCH A CUTE AND OBVIOUS REASON. kama feels dumb for asking but it makes them chuckle. 

and i think seeing someone who constantly looks so tired and depressed, have a genuine little chuckle would melt ash right there. i think he’ll want to see more. 

AND FROM THAT POINT ON, i think kama would also get used to this... intimacy they start to share. when he wraps his arms around them he always hugs them in this protective way, as if he wanted to shield them from something. and when he holds them like that, they always feel the need to wrap their legs around his waist, hide their face against his neck and Allow him to cuddle them.

they both have an ego u know aha. so if u openly ask them about eachother, they’ll get embarrassed and shut u down. IT’S... IT’S NOT LIKE THAT (sweats)

it is. it is like That. 

ANYWAY THEYRE BOTH VERY VERSATILE and ash is pretty much into everything kama could teach him about. like i said earlier, he’s also fine with being manhandled, mostly the feeling of kama’s nails gently pressing against his skin, or being bit. i think he’d be into getting a lil feral.

a mutual once said that sexually liberated ashwatthama is hot as hell and i feel it in my bones.... kama coming onto him after a particularily short mission that got ash angry but not enough to let out some steam --> they get pounded into the mattress and they live for it because riling him up when he’s like that is actually really fun.

OBSESSED WITH THE BOTH OF THEM SLOWLY SEEING IT AS A GAME AFTER A WHILE... 

OH ash bottoming is also very cute. his first times would be awkward but kama is a pro at this anyways and i’m finally going to answer ur ask: YEAH HE GETS PEGGED !!!!! he finds out how excited he gets when kama calls him a good boy !!! and he never knew that he was into these sorts of things but holy shit it feels nice.

when kama gives him his first blowjob he almost loses his mind

what i really love about kama is that they can see how tense he gets, even if he’s having a great time, and i know they’d teach him how to relax. EVEN WHEN THEY’RE RIDING HIM, they’ll massage his pecs and his shoulders, set the pace and squeeze down on him just to hear him moan. stare at his surprised little face because he didn’t know he could make THAT kind of nois e ? ? ? ? ?

HE’S EMBARRASSED but he doesn’t want them to stop

OH YEAH i wanna come back on the whole masochist thing (I GET SNIPED), him getting repentance and being punished through sex is both very liberating and hot as hell, especially when it’s kama. ashwatthaman moaning ‘your divinity’ like it’s a prayer is also hot as hell !!!!!!! IDK i just think that they can both get very intense, and also last a while, until they’re thoroughly SPENT.

...and leave room for softness. kama gently brushing his wet hair behind his ear, leaving him breathless and a little shy. they then lean in to kiss him and he immediately melts into their touch. but then they bite his lip. and he ... he Likes it but he could almost pout.

time to get a little angsty (i lock gazes with you) i think that after a long while of sharing such a relationship, ash would almost say The Forbidden Words in a daze. and kama deeply kisses him so he stays quiet. and they’re just staring at eachother, until kama tells him that he’s not allowed to say it. and if he does, it’ll almost be a betrayal towards shiva AND themself. they’ve grown impossibly close but neither of them can say Those Words because they both feel like they’ll break something.

also bc they both have huge egos.

but i think that deep down they really want to say them. 

another variant of this is kama wanting to make him admit it, have him say Those Words. but because of his blessing and respect towards lord shiva, he cannot. both because of the guilt and that it’d end up feeling like a lie, even if his touches, his kisses and the way he looks at kama screams otherwise.

BUT REE WHAT ARE THE FORBIDDEN WORDS

"I Won't Say (I'm in Love)" Hercules (1997).

is this enough of a clue ;;);)););;;))))))) HAAHA

THEY HAVE SO MANY LAYERS TO THEM ITS UNREAL

anyway shower sex hot !! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

i also think that them mutually jerking eachother off is hot as all hell and ONCE AGAIN, flustered ash who doesn’t know what he’s doing (at first) is cute !!!! cute !!

ashwatthaman LEARNING from kama is also a big fave. they’re abt to bathe in kama’s luxurious bathtub they had master buy for them and they’re removing their earrings and he silently leans forward and bites their ear and suddenly their face is red. god. huge dummy god of love. i love them soooo much its unreal

THEIR DYNAMIC IS BASICALLY.. I WONT SAY IM IN LOVE but still look at eachother like they’re newlyweds everytime they get intimate and (sheds a tear) i think theyre super married

GOOD GOD .......BODY WORSHIP IS SOMETHING THEYRE BOTH HEAVILY INTO ALSO. both giving and receiving, even if kama is a lot less obvious about it and a lot more smug.

oh, i think ash would be the loudest between the two !! THIS ONE WAS OBVIOUS. hearing him like that would also coax kama into making more noise as well so its win-win 

ok to be honest i think i should draw porn of them being soft like... THERES DETAILS I HAVE IN MIND THAT ARE IMPOSSIBLE TO WRITE DOWN IN THE HEADCANON FORMAT and i’m too nervous about writing fics (looks away) but i have things to draw.

ANYWAY I THINK THIS GOT VERY LONG ????????? SO IM GONNA STOP HERE. IF U MADE IT THIS FAR: THANK U FOR LISTENING TO MY BRAINWORM !!!! 

[queenjunoking]

Wolf Taming Pt 19

CW: Noncon - Shock Collar - Pain - Petplay - Drugs - Kidnapping  - Manipulation

“I know you can hear me Sasha. You’re currently under the effects of a drug I helped make. It’s a bit like the one I gave you on your second day here, but it doesn’t make you loopy. It also has some other effects you’ll figure out in a bit.” I pulled Sasha out of the heap she had landed in and laid her out of the floor so I could get a good look at her. “I needed you to cooperate with what I’m going to be doing and this seemed like a fair trade. Admittedly this would be much easier with someone who was willing but I can only work with what you’re giving me. This way you don’t have to bruise your pointless pride right now by just doing what I ask and instead I’ll just be doing things to you. I wouldn’t consider that better but I guess I’m not you.”

I had gotten credit for the discovery of the drug, it was why I got such a generous start up sum compared to other new members. But I wasn’t a chemist. It was an unintended interaction between other chemicals I had been using on someone the society was having me work on. The poor woman spent a month under its effects before a new concoction was made that could counter the effects. It was yet another thing that had unfortunately made me well known in the society despite my low status.

I looked at Sasha as I started to unbox her new outfit. Unfortunately I couldn’t discern what Sasha might be thinking. She couldn’t move her face yet so her eyes were just watching me. The drug would start wearing off on her face first, letting her move the muscles in her face. Then she’d be able to talk a bit. Getting anything else back required the other drug.

“If you weren’t acting out we could be outside right now. We would have put the hood on, put on the arm binder and with a few tugs on the clamps we could have gotten upstairs and outside and you would have been free to wander around and enjoy the sunlight. Instead you get to spend more time down here while I get you in your new outfit.” The first ten minutes or so of Ragdoll were a bit frustrating for me. I liked to get a reaction out of the person I was working with, but she could give me nothing. A subject could hurl scream and cry or hurl insults at me all they liked and it typically didn’t bother me. I had heard it all. But getting nothing made me uncomfortable.

I unpacked the box and placed the items next to her. I had wanted to save this until a nicer time when she could wear the entire outfit, but unfortunately I would only get to use a few pieces of it if I ever wanted to get her up the stairs. As fussy as she was being, I was sure getting to go outside would ultimately fix her mood.

I could see her straining her eyes to see what I had put down. I sorted the pieces of the outfit, placing the parts that I couldn’t use back into the box. I held up the part I had been waiting to have her wear for so long. My heart ached that I couldn’t put her in it today. A beautiful latex bitchsuit. One of the few purchases that I had been talked into that I actually wanted to buy. I had been excited to use it for so long, but there’s no way she could climb two flights of stairs in it, let alone get back down here.

I usually sat on the side of latex being pretty, but much too delicate and hot for it to be useful for most things. Maids were a popular choice, they usually stayed inside which kept them cool enough. Latex was apparently popular for show ponies, but I never bothered to actually go and see a competition so I wasn’t sure what else owners typically did. But what else did you do with it? Make a bitchsuit out of it was apparently the answer. I wanted it the moment I saw it. Maybe it wasn’t suitable for her to wear for long periods, but she’d look stunning in it.

I stoked my hand over the suit, listening to the sound it made. Then I heard another noise. “W..uhs tha?” Sasha was starting to get her voice back. It took a bit for her to get full control of her voice.

“Nothing sweetheart. This is something for another time.” I placed the suit back in the box. I may not be able to use it now but plenty here was usable. “I really wish you had just listened Sasha because this is going to be unpleasant and annoying for both of us.”

“Ten dunt do et.” It was adorable listening to her slurred words. Even in this state she was being a brat.

“You’re funny. That’s not how this works and you know it. Let’s start with your paws.” The suit normally didn’t have a reason to use paws given how it made the body fold, but I spent extra to get some matching pieces that would help complete the outfit without the bitchsuit. 

I removed her cute locking mitts and replaced them with the ones made for the outfit I’d be putting her in. Black leather paw mitts that went up to the elbow, complete with locks. Maybe not as cute as her other mitts, but they had their own fun quality.

“Are they comfortable Sasha?” I wanted to wait until she could talk again to continue. I was eager to hear her feedback while i worked.

“No.” I watched her move her face around as she was regaining more control of it.

“These aren’t much different than you’re previous ones except longer so I’m not sure I believe you.” 

“Tose wer-” She stopped and cleared her throat and tried again. “Those weren’t comfortable either.” Good, her voice was back.

“Well if you thought those were uncomfortable then you’ll probably dislike these, but you don’t really have much of a choice right now.”

Now that I had everything set up I was really starting to realize the task in front of me. The bitchsuit came with leather padded leg binders. They would keep the legs folded and had padding on the knees so the wearer could walk on them. But they were easier to put on when the wearer worked with you, it was going to be difficult to put them on with her limbs being slack at the moment.

"What are you doing?" She asked after my third attempt to keep her leg up so I could get the binder on her leg.

“You know, I figured you’d be more concerned about not being able to move. ‘What did you do to me? Why can’t I move?’ Something like that.” I ended up taking my belt off and using it to keep her leg folded.

“You injected something into the back of my neck and I can’t move. It’s not like this is the first time you’ve injected me with something and…” she trailed off.

“And I’ve yet to hurt you from doing it and you have no reason to think I’m trying to hurt you now.” I finished her sentence for her. I finished lacing up the leg binder and locked it on before moving to her other side to start the process again.

“I’m not sure that drugging me doesn’t count as hurting me but I’m sure you have a way of rationalizing all of your behavior.”

“There are very few people like you Sasha.” It was an honest observation. I had never worked with someone like Sasha.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I could hear her eyes rolling as she spoke.

"Well here you are on the floor, injected with a drug that’s left you unable to move and left completely open to whatever I want to do to you. But here you are just having a casual conversation with me. You realize this isn’t how people normally act right?” I wrapped the belt around her other leg so I could get to work on lacing up the next leg binder.

“What do you want me to do? Scream and cry or something? I’m not sure how to feel about anything anymore. All that happens here is a rotation of boredom, pain, and humiliation. Everything has blended together at this point.” She sounded distant. She wasn’t wrong, these kinds of environments could break people. It’s why i was taking her outside.

“I want you to feel like you want too. You’re special because you’re you. Many in your position would scream and cry. Some would just fall into line to avoid getting hurt. But you keep playing your own games. You’re very fun. I’m glad no one else got their hands on you, they would have stamped out that beautiful spirit of yours.

“You’re fucking psycho. I don’t know how you sleep at night.”

“Surprisingly well actually.” I finished locking on the leg binder. I hadn’t always slept well after joining, but you get used to it eventually.

“You’ve been honest enough with me in your own creepy way so I’m going to be fair about something so I won’t feel as bad about it when the time eventually comes.”

“Oh?” I got up and moved to stand directly over Sasha. I sat down so I was straddling her stomach and she made a noise of discomfort. It let me look directly into her eyes. “And what’s that?”

“The moment you slip up, I’m going to fucking kill you.”

A shiver went up my spine and I gave her a smile. “So violent. I wouldn’t have it any other way.” I could tell she didn’t really appreciate that I was sitting on her. I’m sure she’d love to make good on that threat right now if she could. She definitely would after what I was about to do to her. “I have a question for you Sasha.”

“Just go ahead and ask it. It’s not like if I say no it’s not like thats going to stop you.” Her face was starting to go a little red and her breathing was off. The secondary effect of the drug was starting to affect her.

“Have you ever had sex?” I asked her with a straight face, doing my best not to give anything away.

“What?!” Her face instantly went several shades of red darker.

“I’ll take that as a no. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. Though some people would find the situation you’re in quite erotic. If you ever need some stimulation or want some release you should let me know. I’d be happy to take care of that for you.” Sasha was cute. The most nothing questions revolving around sex would set her off. It was obviously something she was insecure about.

“I don’t think my sex life is any of your-” I interrupted her by stroking my thumb over her nipple, elicitng a moan from that that surprised us both.

“Do you like it when I play with your nipple?” I asked her as I continued to stroke her nipple.

“Nnnno… Nno I dooo..n’t.” It was a pretty bold lie from the moans I was pulling out of her. But at least part of it was from the drug. I had tried to argue against adding the aphrodisiac effects, I wanted Ragdoll to just be a drug that could be used to lock someone in their body. But the Society was convinced it would do better with that extra effect so I was forced to withdraw my objections.

“You look on edge Sasha, you sure you don’t want to ask for an orgasm? There’s no shame in it.” There were many things I would enjoy doing to Sasha, but I had decided long ago that an orgasm was something she’d have to swallow her pride and would have to beg for one.

“Fuuuuck you.” A fair enough response. I was enjoying how much it was affecting her. The aphrodisiac was a fairly low dose. I had options I could use on her that would make her needy enough to start humping my leg like a dog in heat. But that kind of thing was for another time.

“I’m flattered but now really isn’t the time.” She let out a frustrated growl, sending another chill down my spine. She couldn’t hurt me right now, but being this close while she did that still made my heart race a little. “I’ll be back in a moment Sasha. There’s one more piece to your outfit that you still need inserted.

“What?” I ignored her question and went into the toy room, grabbing a pair of latex gloves, some lube, a blindfold, a leash, and a vial of the antidote that I would need. I made sure to keep them out of her sight as I returned.

“Have you ever played with sex toys Sasha?” I wouldn’t have called myself the most adventurous person before I joined the Society but even I had sex toys.

“I don’t think that's any of you-” I cut her off.

“So that’s a no. Nothing to be ashamed of, nothing wrong with them either though. ” It took quite a bit of effort but I managed to flip Sasha off of her back and onto her stomach. I realized my mistake, it would have been much easier to do what I was about too before I put on the leg binders so I could prop her up on her legs. But I’d have to work with what I had. I snapped on one of the gloves and applied a generous amount of lube.

“What are you doing?!” Her sense of urgency suddenly went through the roof.

“Shh… just relax.” With that I slowly inserted a finger into her butt.

“Stop! What the fuck are you doing!” She wanted to pull away but her body wasn’t cooperating with her.

I sighed. “I’m turning the collar back on Sasha, yapping will be punished with a shock. If you keep yapping despite that I have other methods.”

To my surprise, she became quite quiet after that. Little noises and moans, nothing the collar would pick up on. I was expecting a fight to be honest. I wasn’t expecting her to simply take it. She made a louder noise the collar picked up on when I added a second finger, her body convulsed slightly. But whether it had been a sound of pleasure or displeasure was something I wasn’t quite sure about.

“I think that should be good enough. It’s time for you to try your first toy. Don’t worry, it’s quite small and very adorable.” I picked up the last piece of the outfit that I could use. A sleek puppy tail plug. I gave it a generous amount of lube and pressed the bulb against her so she could feel it. “Ready Sasha?”

I didn’t wait for her to answer. With a bit of effort I pushed it inside of her. With that my wolf was dressed. Legs bound so she could no longer stand upright. Paws so she couldn’t grab anything. And a beautiful tail that would shake back and forth as she walked. I took a picture of her back end, getting her bound legs and the plug in the picture.

I discarded the glove and knelt by her head. I grabbed a handful of her hair so I could pull her head up and she could see the picture. She already had tears in her eyes and her face was bright red. “See? I told you it was cute!” She looked at the picture but didn’t say anything. I released her hair and stood back up.

“You know, I’m kind of glad you were being a brat. This was fun, to think you could have just gone outside without having to have gone through any of that. You still sure you don’t want an orgasm? You seem flustered. Speak.” I could feel a bright smile on my face, I was really enjoying myself. It had been quite some time since I enjoyed myself before Sasha came along.

“No I don’t you psycho!” She was upset but she couldn’t really hide the effect the aphrodisiac had on her.

“Fine, if you want to deny yourself that’s fine. We could always get you a chastity belt or something if you decide you never want to have another orgasm, but those are usually reserved for maids and people in similar positions. People, not pets.” My comment elicited yet another growl, she was quite feisty today.

“Here’s the thing Sasha. That drug requires an antidote or the effects don’t end. If I wanted too I could leave you locked in your body like that forever, never able to move again.”

“Y-you wouldn’t do that. You want me to do things. Tricks and stuff.” She called me out on my bluff. She was right, but that didn’t mean the thought didn’t scare her.

“You’re right, but I am very patient and those leg binders will get uncomfortable after awhile. Swallow your pride and repeat what I say and you’ll get the antidote and we’ll go outside. Say ‘Please give me the antidote Master.’ Speak.”

“Please give me the antidote Master.” She spoke through gritted teeth, but I could hear her voice wavering.

“Say ‘I’m sorry for acting out Master.’ Speak.” I was going to poke her all I wanted. She knew I wouldn’t leave her like this but she was scared regardless. 

“I’m sorry for acting out Master.” She kept playing along, nothing else she would risk doing.

“Say ‘I’m your wolf master.’ Speak.”

“I’m your wolf Master.” The words sounded beautiful when she said them.

Say ‘I belong to you master.’ Speak.” Repetition was the key to drilling it into her head.

“I... belong to you master.” She was getting frustrated now, but her fears were overriding her frustration.

“You’re such a good girl Sasha.” I loaded the applicator with the antidote. I pressed it against the back of her neck and pulled the trigger. There was a small hiss and it was done. She’d be able to move around in a few minutes.

I waited for a few minutes and watched as she regained control of her limbs. It was funny to watch, they just kind of jerked around a lot until she regained control. I watched her weakly push herself up with her arms. She stumbled a bit, trying to figure out how to move with her legs bound like they were. It was kind of like watching a baby deer learning to stand. I clipped the leash to her collar and slipped the blindfold over her eyes.

“How about we finally go play outside?”

[th3okamid3monart]

Things I’m going to miss this Holidays

There are a couple of traditions we do in my family that I havent seen in other places and with one search on the internet I realize that most of the things we do are from my own country + some that we make up ourselves. 

So Im going to share them here because... Well, there’s a big-ass chance I wont be able to do them this Christmas nor New years. 

NOTE: When I say ‘my family’ in a lot of this, I mean ALL my family. Which means, all my grandparents, all my aunts, all my uncles, all my cousins, and, yes, EVEN my great grandaparents, cousins, uncles, aunts and more. Because we all know each other and we even make a party once a year for my dad’s side of the family 

Here I go:

Las Posadas

There’s this thing that we do at one of my grandparents’ house that involves singing a carol about the time Maria and Jose were looking for a place to stay to rest before travel far away for the birth of Jesus. It is a song which is singed by 2 groups, one that is inside and the other that’s outside. What we do is the following: One group goes inside a room in the house while the other stays outside the door, the group outside sings one part and the other sings the other. We go back and forward until we finish the song. It is pretty funny because no one sings well and its just like a bunch of grown ups practically screaming but we always end up chuckling. I used to think it was pointless and boring but that was because I was an edgy potato, after I enter University i began to enjoy more things and be happier. This is going to be the second time I wont be with my complete family for Christmas and now its all the family who wont be able to go to my grandparents house for a celebration. 

12 grapes, 12 wishes

In both sides of my family we usually fill up 12 grapes in a cup and give everyone 1 cup each. I dont remember what exactly the grapes meant or the story about the wishes but it’s supposedly like before it strikes 12 am on New Years, we have to eat our grapes while also wishing for something. I remember when I was younger I’d wish for peace on the world or that everything went well for everyone. I think I’m going to buy a bigger bag of grapes this year. 

Something that was funny was that everyone would just... Stuff their mouths with grapes, mostly my cousins and I, just to see how many we could fit. Not everyone wished for many things in the family because I think we all feel we had and have enough. If my family does this again on their own, I’m pretty certain their wishes would be to be able to meet with the family. 

Piñata

Every year since I was little, my grandparents buy a piñata to smash before or during Christmas. They find it such a good activity for cousins and even for my aunts, my mom and uncle. They literally havent stopped buying them, the oldest grandchild in that side of the family its in her 30s, but they still buy a piñata. I think its mostly for the youngest which are below 16, never the less, its still super funny and hilarious because we go from youngest to oldest. By the time it gets to my brother, its still intact, he only swings it once and its completely DESTROYED. We just have a lot of fun, and sometimes we make my mom or my aunts to hit it. My mom wasnt as cheery when I was a kid, but now she laughs more and when it comes to the piñata she laughs and enjoys her time even more. 

Games 

Like any gathering, all cousins bring up something we can do to entertain ourselves. At first they were toys my grandparents had for us, then it was videogames and now... Its board games. My bro is the one obsess with different boardgames and DnD and other card games. So, about 5 years ago he began bringing boardgames for all cousins to play along. We either talk with each other or try to destroy each other with any game there is. Videogames are fun but we all find it a drag to bring the console to the place, besides we usually get so busy with each others banter and weird conversations that we just forget about the videogames all together. 

At my other grandparents house it becomes W I L D. Last time someone brough a beer pong table and they all began to take shots with mezcal (I’m trying to not drink a lot of the time ever since I puked one time. If I drink its light things like wine and only one glass). Then my aunts play music and began to sing and everyone follows up, and... Well last time they began to dance.... And all my cousins were very embarassed and I was hella confused. Suffice to say, my dad’s side of the family are super freakishly energetic and wild, while my mom’s side is more of a geeky, nerdy vibe with a lot of meme stuff and political conversations at times (Oh yeah, we talk a lot of different political stuff, but guess what? It never derails into a fight. I note this due to always reading people’s talks ending with fights and stuff and that kinda weirds me out a bit at times) 

Dinners 

I don’t remember the time exactly, probably since I was 15 maybe, my dad and I turned into the designated ‘chefs’. Every year we’ve been deciding and preparing foods for each house. We make the main course while my aunts do the sides (although sometimes it becomes like 3 main courses with 2 sides). Im waaaaaaaaay into the cooking and I try to make it perfect each year. I kinda chillaxed a bit with some foods because it wasnt that big of a deal. Besides the main course, I also decide to make a dessert and sometimes they arent eaten because my families have some sugar regulations. They are stored and kept after Christmas because thats better than eating it all in one sitting and having sugar poisoning (AKA, high sugar that needs a fast Insuline injection afterwards). 

It is always fun to make food with my dad, and to make the famous Tamales from my grandma’s recipe. Last time i think we made around 400? Between green salsa chicken, red salsa beef and pork, and some that were like... its like an adobe, its with achiote and orange juice. It was very tasty. We usually make a lot and freeze them. THEY ARENT COOKED, they are raw and then frozen. Every time we take some out, we make them with vapor, takes around 2 hours and they are always tasty. I remember I made a batch all by myself, I made the feelings, I mixed the masa, and I assemble 100 by my own, the rest was thankfully made by my parents. And it was the best when I gave some to my grandma and she told me that they were super good. Of course, I made a couple mistakes, Im not perfect but she still enjoyed it with the salsa I made. Maybe I can still make some this year and give each family a batch. 

Aunt’s cookies

Every year, every god damn year... We all wait for one thing... It’s not the presents, its not the food... Its the cookies. The motherfucking cookies. My aunt has made this cookies since I was a kid, and we all fought to get a bunch of them. She has made choco chip with nuts cookies every year without missing. And they always end before Christmas even hits. She once gave me frozen batch so I can cook them at home and she told me ‘Dont tell anybody’. Of course I cannot not tell anyone since I live with my parents and siblings but when I made them I made sure to make them when my dad wasnt home. Not only because Im a gluttonous fuck but because my dad is diabetic and he shouldnt be eating anything like that. 

It used to be a battle royal between my cousins, now its a battle against my uncles cause they LOVE TO FUCKING HIDE THE BIG ASS CONTAINER. I swear, i only got 1 or 2 god damn cookies last time. 

Breakfast at...Lunch at...

After Christmas, we always go eat at my grandparents house. Always. And it’s, most of the time, Menudo. The most delicious food you can make with cow stomach. It’s my grandpa’s recipe and it’s always good. Meanwhile, we lunch at my grandma’s house the leftovers of yesterdays dinner which it varies if its turkey or pork but it always ends up as a torta. Delicious, leftover, tortas. 

We end up... SUPER CONSTIPATED because you eat menudo with bread, and you make tortas with bread, and we all eat bread and like... A LOT. Its hella good but well... THERE ARE CONCEQUENCES!! 

I think thats all, at least the most relevant parts. There’s also The Toast of El Bohemio, the stupidity and over eating i do for fun for some cousins, the conversations that go from super deep to stupidity with cousins, the music we play, the hugs... 

THE HUGS

When its the New Year, we scream out HAPPY NEW YEAR. And we proceed to hug each and everyone, one time I waited to see everyone and they all were very very happy. Its something I didnt realize before, but that was a happy thing all the time. Last year we event celebrated with other family, most of this reunions are compose with the nuclear family, but we arent shy about involving more family or friends. So last year not only included some family and their friends, we also included a 2 new members of the family: My newborn cousin and my cousin’s now husband. 

It was like.. One of the best beginnings... Which kind of... didnt prepared us for what this...sucky year. 

I’m sure we’ll make it ok... I sure hope so, I wanna see my grandparents again... I wanna see my baby cousin, he is babbling and has already learned to walk. The little dude doesnt have cousins to play with anymore, I wanna make sure he doesnt confuse me by his aunt ajjajajaja. I want to talk to my cousins, I want to hug them and scream with them and eat with them all. 

But maybe this year it wont happen, and I rather it not happening than loosing any of them. 

Right now I cant smell, and everything hurts, but it kinda helps ease things when i remember this and when I think they all are still kinda healthy. 

Maybe when it all passes we can make a march reunion, to celebrate my grandma’s birthday. In the meantime, I’m going to try to get better and wish for this Christmas to not suck now that It’s only my main family and I. 

Hope everyone is safe, I hope you can at least see your parents or siblings. I hope you dont get sick nor have to spend time at a hospital or anything. I hope all who are, get help and dont get worse. I hope you all get better. 

Hope you have Happy Holidays. 

[hopeworldfan]

good things come in threes (1)

summary: you had a unique relationship with hyuna and hyojong, one that gets even more complicated when min yoongi gets involved.

pairing: yoongi/reader, hyuna/reader/hyojong

word count: 2984

rating: 18+

genre: fluff, smut, angst, idolverse, idol!reader

warning: smut, threesome, hyuna with a strap is my biggest kink, sexting, excessive orgasms, marking

a/n: my dream threesome is with hyuna and edawn and thats just the cold hard facts

“So, (y/n), on to the burning question that’s on everyone’s mind,” the host started, leaning towards you. “What is your relationship with Hyuna and E’Dawn.”

You laughed and the host joined in. “Well, they’re my dear friends of course. If it wasn’t for Hyuna taking an interest in me all those years ago I wouldn’t be where I am today.”

The host was visibly disappointed with your answer. It was the one you gave any time you were given that question, you would think they would stop asking it by now.

“So, you’re not in a relationship with them?” He pried and you internally rolled your eyes but externally kept a polite smile on your face.

“They’re in a relationship with each other, so no, I’m not in a relationship with them.” It wasn’t a lie. They thought it was hilarious how you never once lied about the details of your relationship, just darted around it.

“Well, that’s all we have time for today. It was a pleasure talking to you today (y/n).” The host said and you both got to your feet. “Everyone check out her new album, now available on all streaming services.”

Your manager was the first person to approach you when you walked off the stage, a clipboard in her hand and an annoyed look on her face. “You think they would learn to stop asking that question by now.”

“I think it’s funny.” You shrugged and Minsun glared at you.

“I know you do. You’re getting more reckless (y/n), more people are talking, especially since Hyuna and E’Dawn made their relationship public. It’s only a matter of time before something gets caught on camera, and then what? You’re controversial enough as is, that could be the final nail in your coffin.”

You sighed. “You worry too much Minsun. Besides, I don’t see much of them these days anyway.”

Walking into your dressing room, your manager was quick to close the door behind you before turning and fixing you with a hard stare. “You and Hyuna are both performing at MAMA this year, you know E’Dawn’s going to be there. I am begging you (y/n), be careful. Keep the physical contact for behind closed doors, I’d prefer you to stay away from closed doors with them, but I know it’s pointless to even ask.”

“I promise Minsun, okay?”  

“I wish I could believe you.” Your manager said with a defeated sigh before adjusting her glasses and walking out. Guilt coursed through you. Minsun was an amazing manager, she had been with you since the start of your career, you didn’t like making her worry.

The guilt faded away when you picked up your phone and saw a message from Hyuna. Your breath hitched when you opened the message and saw the attached picture. It was obviously her hand, resting on top of Hyojong’s clothed crotch, but you could see the strain from his erection.

we miss you (y/n), all i did was say your name and he got hard

Excitement coursed through you and you double-checked that your door was locked before ripping your shirt off and posing in front of the large mirror. Your face wasn’t in the picture, it never was. The three of you were careful about that, in case someone were to get ahold of your phones.  

After being satisfied with one of the pictures, you sent it.

i’ll see you both in two days, make sure we’re in a soundproof room  

A sudden knock on the door distracted you from the heat pooling between your legs and you groaned. “Hurry up (y/n), you have practice in an hour!”

“Yeah yeah yeah, I’m coming Minsun.”

Two days later and it was finally the day you had been waiting for. Your stomach was in knots, but not because you were nervous about your nomination for ‘Song of the Year’. No, you were finally seeing Hyuna and Hyojong again.  

Between your tour, working on your new album, and all your tv appearances, you hadn’t seen either of them in five months. It was torture. Sure, there were phone calls, video chats, and a multitude of texts, but it wasn’t the same. Your whole body was practically vibrating in anticipation.

“I know you’re eager to run off and see those two, but you need to greet the BTS boys first,” Minsun informed and you stopped dead in your tracks.

“Why?”

Your manager shook her head. “Other than it being polite since you’re going to walk right by them, there may be talk going on about a collaboration.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” You hissed in a hushed whisper, your eyes wide at your manager’s words.

“I did, a few times, you were too busy texting Hyuna and E’Dawn.”  

You tried to think back, but you were coming up blank. “A collaboration? Really?”

Minsun rolled her eyes. “Yes, a few of the boys expressed interest in it. The details aren’t ironed out yet.”

“Which boys?” You prompted excitedly. A collaboration with BTS was everything you dreamed about. You were a big fan of them. Their music was amazing, they’re choreography was stunning, and they were all drop-dead gorgeous. Not to mention it could be what you needed to really break into the American market, something you had been making progress with.

“Suga’s expressed the most interest, but also Jimin and Jungkook. I have a few meetings coming up about it, so make nice with them.” Minsun didn’t have to tell you twice before you were bouncing up to the group of boys, sliding right past security.

“Hey, guys!” You chirped. “It’s so nice to officially meet you.”

You had seen them at award shows and events before but had never said more than two words in passing. The boys were immediately falling all over themselves to greet you.

“Ah hello!”

“(y/n), hi!”

“It’s so nice to meet you!”

“Wow, hi!”

“I’m a big fan!”

“You’re so pretty!”

“Hello.”

They each shook your hand and you giggled at how excited they were. “My manager just told me there’s talk about a collaboration going on, I’m looking forward to it.”

Namjoon was the first to answer with a shy smile. “We would all be honored to collaborate with you (y/n), we’re all big fans.”

“Yes! We love you!” J-Hope added cheerfully.

“Aww, stop it guys, I’m blushing.” You replied, bringing your hands to your cheeks. “I could say the same about all of you! I’m such a big fan! You’re all so talented!”

“You’re the talented one here (y/n),” Jimin commented shyly.

“I always watch your videos the day they come out!” Jin added excitedly.

You felt your phone vibrate in your pocket and you suddenly remembered just where you were headed to before you were distracted by the seven boys. The butterflies in your stomach increased because you knew what was waiting for you in Hyuna’s dressing room.

“Well, it was so nice to meet all of you!” You smiled, catching Suga’s eye and grinning even wider. He was definitely your favorite, your bias some would say. “I look forward to working together in the future.”

The boys said their goodbyes and you were off. You couldn’t move fast enough and the security guard in front of the door immediately moved when he saw you.  

“(y/n)!” Hyuna squealed when the door shut behind you and she was in your arms immediately.

“Hi.” You laughed.

“It’s good to see you,” Hyojong said with a lazy smile, sliding behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist.  

Hyuna’s lips were on yours immediately, inexplicably eager. Hyojong’s hands roamed up the front of your body, sliding under your shirt and cupping your breasts.

“You two are eager.” You breathed against Hyuna’s lips before being silenced again.

“We missed you, can’t you tell?” Hyojong answered before lowering his mouth to the base of your neck. Your breaths started to become uneven when Hyuna’s hands slid down your stomach and slipped past the waistband of your sweatpants.

“You’re so wet already (y/n).” Hyuna purred when one of her digits rubbed against your soaked panties.

“What can I say, I missed you both too.” You panted and she giggled before tugging you out of Hyojong’s grip and to the large couch. He whined at the loss of contact and trailed behind.

“C’mon Hyojong, we have to make (y/n) cum at least five times before she has to get ready to perform.”  

“My goal is seven.”

No, you weren’t in a relationship with Hyuna and Hyojong. It started not long after your first collaboration with Hyuna. She had taken such an interest in you, and the two of you got along so well, you easily became close friends. Then it morphed into something more than that, and the sex started.

It was complicated, and messy at first, but you worked through it. Neither of you wanted a relationship, so you settled on friends-with-benefits and that worked out spectacularly. Then she started dating Hyojong and everything went to shit again. You remained friends, though it was rocky, and you didn’t touch each other for a year.

Until she finally approached you about a threesome. It was never something you thought you’d be in to, but you decided to give it a try because sex with Hyuna was spectacular and you missed her. It was probably the greatest decision you had ever made. Your biggest fear was that you would feel like an intruder since they were dating, but their attention was so focused on you and holy shit Hyojong was also great in bed.

It worked out surprisingly well. You weren’t in their relationship, it wasn’t a polyamorous relationship, you were just friends-with-benefits with both of them. There were times when you just slept with Hyuna, or just slept with Hyojong. You all shared a connection, it just didn’t extend to romantic when it came to you, and you were okay with that because you didn’t have romantic feelings for either of them. You all loved each other, but it was platonic when it came to you.

The public wouldn’t understand so it was kept under wraps, and that was fine with you too. Only a handful of people knew the truth, your manager for one, only because she happened to walk in on you making out with Hyuna while Hyojong was eating you out. She wasn’t happy, to say the least.

There was also their former ‘Triple H’ member, Hui. He joined in on the fun a few times, leading to some very memorable orgasms.

Other than those two, Hyuna’s security guard and a few members of both of your inner circles. There was a tight lid on it, even though there was speculation. Hyuna and Hyojong were very touchy in public to your manager’s constant annoyance. They’d been seen leaving your dressing room and vice versa multiple times, but there’s never been anything concrete.

“I think that’s six.” Hyojong smiled, picking his head up from your dripping pussy and licking his lips. Hyuna smashed her lips against his, lapping up the excess juice from his lips. Without his grip on your thighs, your trembling legs fell against the couch and you took a shaky breath.  

He wasn’t kidding when he said his goal was seven.

“My turn!” Hyuna chirped, pulling back from Hyojong. She already had her strap on, and your vagina literally twitched in anticipation. He moved to stand next to your head and you turned your head to the side to take his hard cock in your mouth while Hyuna fucked you.

She had only gotten a few strokes in when there was a knock on the door. “(y/n) so help me God you needed to be in makeup five minutes ago. I’m going to walk away and if you’re not in your dressing room in two minutes there will be hell to pay!”

“Fuck.” You mumbled around Hyojong’s cock. Minsun didn’t get angry often, but when she did it was never pretty.

“That’s not fair!” Hyuna whined, pulling out so you could get up and tug your clothes on, struggling because of how weak your legs felt.

You glanced up into the mirror and cursed again when you saw the marks on your neck. “Hyojong! What the fuck is this! Minsun is going to fucking gut me!”

Said boy just shrugged, lounging on the couch. “You know I get carried away when I don’t see you for a while.”

“I’m fucked.” You groaned, haphazardly throwing your rats’ nest of sex hair into a messy bun.

“Yeah, you were.” He grinned and you glared at him.

“Have a good performance babe!” Hyuna called out as you threw open the door, still tugging your shirt into place. You managed a wave before the door shut, quickly turning on your heel to rush to your dressing room. What you weren’t expecting to happen was to run right into someone else.

“Shit sorry!” You said automatically, the other person’s hands coming up to steady you. Your eyes shot up to see just who you were running into and your mouth went dry when you met Suga’s gaze.

He didn’t say anything at first. You watched as his eyes took you in, shirt on inside out, obvious sex hair, swollen lips, dark marks on your neck. Then his attention went to the name on the door you ran out of and you practically saw the pieces connect in his brain.

Fuck.

You wanted to say something, to throw together some half-baked excuse, but you remembered that you probably only had thirty seconds to get to your dressing room before having to face the wrath of your manager, so you extracted yourself from his grip and shot him a frazzled smile. “Sorry, gotta blast!”

As expected, Minsun essentially ripped you a new asshole when she saw the hickeys on your neck. It was a good thing your makeup team was very good at their job or you never would have heard the end of it. Your hairstylist didn’t even bother trying to be gentle, but you couldn’t complain.  

You managed to be in position five minutes before you had to go on and you just prayed to God your legs didn’t give out on you. Sex before a performance was never a good idea, but you couldn’t help yourself.

Miraculously, you managed to pull off a stellar performance despite how weak-kneed you still felt. It felt amazing when you could finally sit and watch others. Hyuna was spectacular as always, you couldn’t get the vision of her in-between your legs with her strap on out of your mind though. Minsun discreetly pinched you when she saw you start to squirm the slightest bit.

BTS was amazing. Their performance was so passionate, you were entranced the whole time. You knew they would win Artist of the Year.

Finally, it was time for them to announce Song of the Year. Your stomach was in fucking knots. You had been nominated once before but lost to Twice. Minsun was gripping your hand so tight you thought it was going to fall off.

“Song of the Year…goes to,” The announcer began before peeling open the envelope. “(y/n) for Anywhere, Anytime!”

Minsun started screaming immediately, followed by your team. You just sat there in shock, eyes the size of saucers.

“You did it!” Minsun squealed, jerking you up to your feet. The cheers from the crowd were deafening and you just couldn’t think. You won. You actually won. What the fuck.

Almost in a trance, you walked up to the announcer who had a giant smile. He handed you the award and you took it almost robotically, shaking his hand and thanking him. Then it was time for your speech, but you still couldn’t even think.

“Um…wow,” You started with a nervous laugh staring at the award in your hand. “I just…wow.”

Tears started to prick at the back of your eyes as you stared at the award, it finally starting to hit you that you won.

“There are so many people I have to thank for this, um,” You paused, trying to fight through the burning in your throat. The crowd began to cheer again, shouts of encouragement reaching your ears. “My fans, of course, I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you. I love each and every one of you so much…I’ll continue working hard for all of you.”

You used your free hand to wipe the now free-falling tears. “My parents, for always believing me and supporting me. My manager, Minsun, and my whole team for being such an amazing support system, my company for giving me this opportunity, just, everyone who supports me and of course my lovely friend Hyuna who I owe so much to. Thank you all so much for this, just, thank you.”

Hyuna was the first person to greet you when you walked off the stage, pulling you into a tight hug. “I’m so proud of you!”

You just cried into her shoulder while she laughed before passing you to Hyojong.

“Good job baby.” He whispered into your ear, rubbing your back as you cried. Minsun was the one to break you all apart, ushering you back to your seat with a shake of her head, she held back from chiding you though.

You found your friends again after the awards when all the groups were mingling. She instinctively wrapped an arm around your waist and Hyojong placed a quick kiss against your cheek. You just so happened to glance up in time to see Suga staring directly at you. You knew he had seen the interaction. You knew he knew something was up.

You met his intense gaze and he was the first to look away. Just great.

[thefactsofthematter]

Sprace and uhhhh theres a house Thats Clearly Haunted and they Have To Find Out

ok i really popped tf off with this prompt and i apologize in advance for how it ends???

1.7k; sprace; modern au; warning for a pretty detailed character death yikes

-

Something weird is going on.

Something really weird. So weird that Spot hopes to God he’s hallucinating, because there’s no way this can be real.

It has to be a trick of the lighting. There’s no way Race’s eyes are actually glowing red. And his skin feeling so damn hot— that has to be because of the cozy jacket he’s wearing.

“I think we should take turns investigating the last room alone,” says Race, interrupting Spot’s train of thought. The echo around his voice must be due to the odd layout of this creepy old house.

They’re ghost hunting, you see. Or rather, they’re trying to prove to Albert and Elmer that’s there’s definitely no demons in this house— Race had been pretty adamant that they could do it. They’ve been wandering around all evening with no sign of anything notable, though Race’s strange behavior might as well be paranormal.

“You first,” replies Spot, trying not to show how unsettled he’s feeling. It’s probably all just his mind playing tricks on him. “Let’s do five minutes each and see if we can find anything. I bet you won’t last the whole time.”

Race grins, clearly up for the challenge. There’s something in his smile that rubs Spot the wrong way, though he can’t put his finger on just what it is.

“You’re on,” says Race, before clapping Spot on the shoulder and taking off down the hall. “I can totally do it, but I bet you can’t!”

-

With Race locked in the spooky old bedroom for a few minutes, Spot now has more time to think the situation over.

He has absolutely no justifiable reason to believe Race is possessed by a demon. The notion of it is completely insane.

But red eyes, burning skin, and that evil-looking smile… they’re not evidence, per say, but they’re signs that Spot would be a fool to ignore. He just has to test the theory— if it’s wrong, he was just goofing around and it’s a funny joke. If he’s right… well, he’s not sure what he’ll do if he’s right.

Carefully, he pulls a tiny dish of salt from his fanny pack, where Elmer had packed him a demon-fighting toolkit. He’ll simply line the doorway with salt, and see if Race can escape. Simple as that. It’s probably stupid and pointless, but it also sort of feels like it might be worth a shot.

-

“Time’s up, Racer! Come out!”

Spot feels incredibly on edge as he waits for Race to come out. He can hear the footsteps coming towards the door and each step is making him even more anxious than before.

Finally, the door creaks open and Race stops short in front of the line of salt.

He looks down at it, and then looks back up at Spot and just stares. Spot swears his heart might pound right out of his chest.

“Race…” says Spot, after a moment, trying to keep his voice from shaking. “Come here. Your time’s up.”

Race looks down to the line of salt again. When his eyes flick back up to Spot, the red tint from before is back, and there’s a creepy kind of darkness to his expression.

“I can’t.”

Spot’s heart drops to his stomach and a chill goes straight down his spine. Holy shit, he was right. He swallows thickly and tries to keep his composure.

“Why not?” he asks, watching Race’s expression carefully. “Just walk over here and stand with me. What’s stopping you?”

Race keeps his eyes on Spot, their red glow getting brighter by the second.

“I think you know,” he finally says. He gestures down to the salt with a look of disgust. “You did this on purpose. Do you think this is funny?”

Spot takes a step backwards and his back hits the wall behind him.

“You’re scaring me, Race,” he says, trying incredibly hard to keep his composure. “What the hell is going on?”

It’s silent for a long moment. Spot can hear his own pulse pounding in his ears— his blood pressure must be through the roof right now. His fight-flight-or-freeze reaction is fully activated, and his body has apparently chosen to freeze.

Race eventually sighs, shutting his eyes for a moment and clearly trying to calm down.

“Look, I didn’t want you to find out like this, okay? This… this isn’t fair to you. I never wanted you to see this part of me. We never should’ve come here.” He shoves his hands in his pockets and walks in a little circle, while taking a few deep breaths. He suddenly stops and whips back around to face Spot, pointing an accusatory finger at him. “How did you figure it out?”

Nothing makes sense right now and Spot is freaking out. Is Race implying that he’s not possessed, but is actually a demon himself? This is so fucked up on so many levels, what the fuck.

“The eyes,” says Spot, finding it increasingly more difficult to talk, the longer he stands here panicking. “They’re red, Racer. Glowing bright red. What does it mean? What are you?”

Race groans and presses the heels of his hands against his eyes. He moves like he wants to kick the salt out of the way, but seems to think better of it and continues to pace instead.

“What do you think, Spot!?” he snaps, finally losing his composure. His voice has gone disturbingly deep and it echoes around the room. “I’m exactly what the fuck you think I am! A fucking demon, alright? I’ve always fucking been like this and I didn’t want you to find out because it ruins everything! This stupid place, there’s so many spirits and shit, and it’s making everything worse!” He runs towards the doorway a punches the side of it with full force, which certainly would’ve broken his knuckles… if he were human. He stays there a long time, gasping for breath. When he continues, his voice is much quieter. “I don’t wanna hurt you, okay? I really, really don’t wanna hurt you. I love you.”

Spot doesn’t know what comes over him, but he finds himself nodding slowly and stepping a little closer to Race. There’s something about seeing him so upset that breaks Spot’s fucking heart, even when he should be terrified.

“It’s okay, baby,” he finally says, and the words feel foreign as they leave his mouth. He should be scared. Why isn’t he scared? “Calm down, alright? I believe you. I know you don’t wanna hurt me. I’ll… I’ll move the salt. I trust you, Race.”

Race’s eyes go wide at that, still glowing hauntingly, and he takes a little step back.

“You shouldn’t,” he replies. “You shouldn’t trust me, Spot, after what you just found out. You should leave. I love you so much, but you need to get out of here.”

Spot frowns and takes another step closer.

“I’m not leaving you here,” he says. “You just promised not to hurt me, and I trust you. If you’ve always been like this, it means you’re the same boy I know and love, right? I’m gonna move the salt out of the way, but I want you to calm down first, okay? It’s gonna be fine. Just breathe, Racer.”

-

Race can hardly hear Spot’s voice over the chorus of others echoing in his ears.

Kill him. Kill him. You know you want to. It’s the only way. If you really love him, you’ll take his soul right now. Remember when he said he wanted to be yours forever? You can make that happen for him. You have to kill him. You have to. He’ll never hurt again— mortals are so fragile, you can take that away from him. He’ll live forever with you. He’ll never hurt again.

Why the hell did they come here? There’s so many goddamn spirits around and they all seem to want to have a bit of fun with Race tonight. Why on earth did he agree to go ghost hunting? He thought he’d be stronger than this, but it’s becoming clear that he’s not.

If Spot moves the barrier from between them, Race won’t be able to control himself. He knows that for certain. As soon as that salt is moved, his instincts will take over and he’ll do something terrible. The voices in his head are screaming now, and there’s nothing he can do to stop himself as Spot steps forward and kicks the salt out of the way.

-

Spot screams as Race charges towards him and shoves him up against the wall with force that seems inhuman, the moment the salt line is broken.

Race’s hold on his throat is tight and Spot tries to struggle, but try as he might, he just can’t move. There’s a wicked grin on Race’s face, like Spot has never seen before.

“You said… you wouldn’t… hurt me,” Spot gasps, his breath growing shallower by the second. “Race… I love you.”

Race laughs wickedly and narrows the space between their faces to merely a few inches.

“I said I didn’t want to,” he corrects. “But I have to, Spotty. It’s the only way. You gotta understand— humans are so fragile, darling. So easily hurt. And I love you so much, I don’t want you to hurt anymore. I’m helping you, baby.”

His grip on Spot’s neck tightens, and Spot is seeing stars around Race’s head.

You’re killing me, he thinks, but he doesn’t have the air to say it.

“Hurts, Racer…”

Race sighs softly and uses his free hand to run his thumb over Spot’s lips, shushing him.

“Only for a moment, baby. Then you’ll be free. You’ll be mine forever, just like you promised.”

Insane. Race is totally insane. And all Spot can do is stare up at him with numb, wide-eyed horror until the world goes black around him.

-

Tag list (message to be added):@landlessbud @eponinemylove @i-got-personality @alovelymoonbeam @penzyroamin @graceful-popcorn @bencookisagod @auspicioustarantula @neverplannedonsomeonelikeyou @orollyitsracetrackhiggins @backgroundnewsies @magimerlyn @myheartissetinmotion @papesdontsellthemselves @supremebesson @justasadcryptid @marvels-ninja @aw-jus-let-em-try @big-potato-asshole @stop-the-presses @starrysence @wilde-guess @never-fear-brooklyns-here @r-a-c-e-t-r-a-c-k @fandom-fangirl07 @theresagoodchanceicouldfly @dying-poet @asphodelnerd

[antikang]

    ⋆     𝑰𝑵𝑻𝑹𝑶𝑫𝑼𝑪𝑰𝑵𝑮 — min yoongi. he/him. cismale. | was that matthew ‘matty’ kang i just saw in the hideaway lobby ? i hear the twenty-six year old spends most of their time being the area’s drug dealer , but i’ve always just seen them hanging out at the old boxing ring downtown. they live in apt 6A and i often see them in the halls. they always give me a vibe of exactly faded graffiti on concrete walls, an intimidating dragon tattoo taking up half his back, and cars set ablaze in empty parking lots.

𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒄𝒔 :

fullname: matthew kang

nicknames: matty, matt -- but that one’s used rarely 

age: twenty-six

d.o.b: i’ll let u guys know when i figure out his birthchart lol

zodiac:  ^^

gender: cismale

sexuality: bisexual

occupation: drug dealer, his cover is a ‘legal dispensary’ 

𝒔𝒐𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒍 𝒎𝒆𝒅𝒊𝒂 :

matty doesn’t have any form of social media besides snapchat. which he barely uses, he doesn’t care much for apps besides the ones he can stream shows on. 

he has a separate phone for any business transactions since it’s disposable. only a few people have his number, any new clients have to come from word of mouth. 

𝒂𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒕𝒊𝒄 : 

oversized jackets down behind his knees, an abundance of necklaces, faded graffiti littering concrete walls, red knuckles, calculating quick math problems in his head, morning light peaking through half lidded curtains, street racing in the middle of the night, small laughs under his breath, a longing to be unknown, overly sweet coffee, a beat up walkman, cassette tapes from his childhood

𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒆𝒓 : 

DRUG TW !! matty is a drug dealer but his profession is under the guise of a ‘legal dispensary’ so his front is weed, and having the permit to sell weed legally in a small shop in the city. it’s what he puts down for his taxes, and his job on important documents. however, behind the scenes it’s something else completely: the harder stuff. within the dispensary there’s another room for the harder stuff. a hidden little place within the building where they REALLY make their profit. they sell anything from molly to coke to pills. matty tends to stay away from dealing the SUPER hard stuff, and avoids it as much as he can. 

𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚 :

matty is actually a pretty cool guy ? despite his upbringing and what he does/did, he tends to get a long well with people -- he has to considering his job is on the more social side. he isn’t the most outgoing though, and he actually tends to stay in his lane. matty doesnt like being problematic and likes to keep most of his business private. he doesn’t dwell or partake in other’s business either unless he was forced into a situation. he’s a grown man with better things to do than meddle in drama. on the other side he can be a little intimidating, but that’s the surface after all his appearance is his armor so people know not to mess with him. 

positive traits: organized, dependable, focused, loyal, kind, quick

negative traits: stubborn, fussy, cynical at times, blunt 

𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒕�� : 

matty was born and raised in l.a but was kicked out of his home at seventeen when his parents -- especially his dad -- found out he was gay ( bi really ). he didn’t manage to graduate highschool because of this despite doing everything he could to. it wasn’t possible for him to attend school while couch surfing through his friend’s houses and sometimes a local youth shelter. it was through one of boys he met there that he found his way into the world of gangs and drugs and just trying to survive each day.

he became a runner for an l.a gang/mob called ssangyopa -- they’re actually all along the west coast and international but only in asia -- and dropped out of high school to be able to make money to find a way to live on his own. he got initiated into the gang quick for a variety of reasons, he was sly and easy to miss when he delivered packages, just another l.a teenager skateboarding through the city dropping off people’s goods, he was fast on his feet and managed to get out of many sticky situations one that included knocking over a cop to get away when he had drugs on him -- that was what rlly made the people he worked for in that location welcome him with open arms. and nearing his eighteenth birthday they took him to get a tattoo that each member has ( not the exact same tattoo since each member has a different one of their mascot ) which is a dragon. matty’s is this one here.

TW: GUNS

things were going well for him until one fateful night when he was twenty-two ( five years now with the gang ) that he got into a mess that should have never happened ( and i’ll probably make a separate post diving into this situation but right now it’ll be brief ), point is that he got into a situation where he had to pull out his gun and shoot the other guy before he got shot but it was self defense on his part because he rlly did try to control the situation that got out of hand. he didn’t get away on time, and got caught up by the cops, he thankfully wasn’t carrying any drugs on him, and was sentenced to prison for 3 years for assault with a deadly weapon. it was supposed to be 9 years but the judge pitied him and made it 3. 

in prison he worked on getting his ged and highschool diploma as well as working out -- which he thought was a cliche but he partook in it anyway. he got into a few disagreements in there but !! he’s out now. he got out at 25 and the gang welcomed him back, however, matty wanted out but thats impossible, at least for him especially with a record now. so he got offered to at least move out of the city and run/deal for them in a new system that was created after weed got legalized which is here in seattle. it’s lowkey and perfect for him. 

BUT YEAH OOF, anyways matty again is a chill guy, reserved a bit, but hes good conversation. no one knows he’s an ex-con ( unless hehe we plot !! ) but since he trained a lot in prison ( and i forgot to say that when he started in the gang he took boxing lessons to get some muscle on his noodle arms and protect himself ) he volunteers at a boys and girls club to help train kids to keep them off the streets and away from the shit he got caught up in.

his slang is funny too, he doesn’t call you bro or dude or anything like that. it’s either G or Daddy O, tbh it depends on who he’s talking too. when he talks it’s kinda fast or slow, depending on the mood he’s in. 

𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 : 

people who know he deals other stuff, he deals to ( 0/2): like i said, matty is very lowkey now and i think it’d be a little pointless if the ENTIRE apt complex knew he was a dealer that wasn’t the dispensary. so these 2 clients have his phone number for his dealing phone and he delivers to them sometimes. 

a highschool sweetheart: LISTEN......there was a plot roaming around about an ex-con that when they get out a prison their highschool sweetheart was waiting for them to pick them up and .....i think it’d be cute....it doesnt have to be highschool sweetheart...maybe someone he met at the youth shelter? point is it have to be really plotted out and ofc IF your muse lived in l.a....actually, they’d have to be around his age too....man.....nvm i should erase this but i wont imma leave it right here 

 a friend with benefits ( 0/1): like i said....homeboy doesnt want to get TOO involved with a lot of people so there’s probs just one person he met, they hit it off, they mess around here and there but it’s nothing serious, sometimes a guy just needs a break and so they hit them up

a smoking/drinking buddy: (0/2): they hit up bars, have a drink or four or they hang out on the balcony and smoke the afternoons away, just really chill vibes 

BUT UM THIS IS ALL I HAVE RN....please...if u have more wcs...lmk and hmu !! 

[the-desolated-quill]

Quill’s Swill - The Worst Of 2018

Congratulations dear reader. You survived 2018. And you know what that means. It’s time for another best of/worst of list. Welcome to Quill’s Swill 2018. A giant septic tank for the various shit the entertainment industry produced over the course of the year. The films, games, TV shows and various other media that got on my bad side. As always please bear in mind that this is only my subjective opinion (if you happen to like any of the things on this list, good for you. I’m glad someone did) and that obviously I haven’t seen everything 2018 has to offer for one reason or another. In other words, sorry that Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes Of Grindelwald isn’t on here. I’m sure it is as terrible as some have been suggesting. I just never got around to watching it.

Okay everyone. Grab your breathing masks and put on your rubber gloves. Let’s dive into this shit pile.

Hold The Sunset

The news that John Cleese would be returning to the world of BBC sitcoms was incredibly exciting, being a massive Fawlty Towers fan and all. Unfortunately Hold The Sunset was not quite what I had in mind. It’s one of those rare breed of situation comedies that chooses to offer no actual comedy. It’s not a sitcom. It’s a sit. Like Scrubs or The Big Bang Theory.

An elderly couple plan to elope abroad only for Alison Steadman’s son to barge in, having left his wife, and forcing them to put their plans on hold. Hence the title ‘Hold The Sunset.’ It’s like a cross between As Time Goes By and Sorry, but if all the humour and relatability were surgically removed by a deadpan mortician. The characters are weak, the plots are thin on the ground and the humour (hat little of it there is) feel incredibly dated. The middle aged mummy’s boy is something that hasn’t been funny since the 90s. It’s an utter waste of great talent and what hurts even more is that this tripe is actually getting a second series. I can only assume the people watching this are comatose. Either that or there’s an epidemic of people in Britain who have lost the remote.

Avengers: Infinity War

Yes this is one of the worst movies of 2018 and no I don’t regret saying that one little bit. Avengers: Infinity War was fucking terrible. Period. There were too many plots and characters going on, which made the film hard to follow (and what staggers me is that the so called ‘professional’ critics have condemned movies for having too many characters and plots before. Spider-Man 3, The Amazing Spider-Man 2, Batman vs Superman: Dawn Of Justice and even Deadpool 2. But because this is an MCU movie, it gets a free pass. Fuck off). The characterisation was weak due to sheer number of characters they try to juggle, resulting in characters coming off as one dimensional caricatures of themselves and scenes where characters such as Iron Man, Doctor Strange and Star-Lord sound completely interchangeable. The villain, Thanos, is a stupidly and poorly written villain, but that’s hardly surprising considering what a shit job Marvel have done building him up over the course of these 20+ movies. And let’s not forget that pisstake ending. A bunch of prominent Marvel characters die and it’s all very, very sad... except all these characters just so happen to have sequels planned, which makes this ending fucking pointless and have less impact than a feather on a bouncy castle.

I don’t know which is more shocking. That Marvel and Disney think their audience are that stupid and gullible, or that their audience are actually validating their view. Fuck you Disney.

Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery

I’ve always wanted a Harry Potter RPG, where you could customise your character, choose your house and actually live a full school life at Hogwarts. This year, Warner Bros and Jam City gave us just that.

That was a mistake.

Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery is the epitome of everything that’s wrong with the mobile gaming market right now. The gameplay is boring and involving where you just tap images on a screen until a progress bar fills up. Wizard duels are little more than rock-paper-scissors challenges that require no kind of skill. Bonding with friends and caring for magical creatures just consist of pathetically simple pop quizzes and yet more boring tapping. Oh and of course you only get a certain amount of energy to complete these tedious tasks. If you run out of energy, you wait for it to fill up... or pay up for the privilege. So determined are they to extract your hard earned cash from your wallet, there’s actually a bit where Devil’s Snare strangles your eleven year old avatar and the game effectively tries to guilt trip you into paying micro-transactions to save them. It’s sleazy, gross and manipulative. Honestly, you’re better off just playing Candy Crush.

Agony

When the developers of this game said they wanted to give the player a trip through Hell, they had no idea how true that statement really was. Agony is dreadful on a number of levels. The design for Hell itself, while visually interesting at times, is often not very practical and gets quite dull and repetitive after a while. The stealth mechanics are a joke and the AI of your demonic enemies are pitiful. All of this alone would have been enough to put this game on the list, but then we also have the casual misogyny. Agony is a gorefest trying desperately to shock the player. We see men and woman get tortured, but it’s the women that often get the extreme end. The violence inflicted on them is often sexual in nature and the game seems to go out of its way to degrade and dehumanise women at every turn. The orgasmic cries of ‘pull it out’ quickly become a staple of the game’s experience as we see naked women raped, tortured and murdered, all for the purposes of ‘entertainment.’

I would call Agony sexist, but honestly that would be giving it too much credit. Agony is like a little child trying desperately to be all dark and edgy in a pathetic attempt to impress everyone around him, and we should treat it as such. Go to your room Agony. No ice cream for you.

Peter Rabbit

If you listen closely, you can hear the sound of Beatrix Potter rotating in her grave.

Yes we have yet another live action/CGI hybrid, but instead of something innocuous like the Smurfs or Alvin and the Chipmunks, Sony instead decides to adapt Peter Rabbit, with James Corden in the title role.

It’s about as bad as you’d expect.

Their attempts to modernise the story are painful to say the least with pop culture references, inappropriate adult humour and twerking rabbits. Plus rather than the gentle, but slightly mischievous character we got in the source material, here Peter is a sociopathic delinquent who seems to revel in making the farmer’s life a living hell. He’s unlikable and unwatchable as far as I’m concerned and the film doesn’t in anyway earn the emotional moments it tries so desperately to sell to the audience. And the worst part is it’s getting a sequel.

Wait. Do you hear that sound? That’s the sound of Beatrix Potter tearing out of the ground, ready to kill whatever idiot came up with this shit.

Fallout 76

I was excited for Fallout 76. A MMORPG where players band together to rebuild society after a nuclear apocalypse. Could have been great. Pity it wasn’t.

Fallout 76 is a dreadful game. Not only is it a buggy, glitchy mess that requires a constant online connection to play, which could result in you losing hours of progress if your WiFi went down, it’s also unbelievably tedious, and that’s because there’s nothing to do in the game. There’s no other characters to interact with, the various robots and computers you come across are really little more than quest givers, there’s no actual plot so to speak, and because of the sheer size of the world and the number of players allowed on a server, the chances of you actually meeting any actual players is remote. And let’s not forget all the behind the scenes drama. Bethesda falsely advertising Fallout themed canvas bags and players getting shitty nylon ones. Bethesda accidentally releasing the account information of various players trying to get a refund for said bag. Bethesda failing to program the year 2019 into the game code, meaning that the game’s nukes don’t work.

Maybe there’s a chance that Bethesda could pull a No Man’s Sky and fix everything over the coming years with various patches and DLCs, but the damage has already been done. It’s incredibly disappointing. The Elder Scrolls 6 is going to have be fucking incredible to win everyone back.

Mama Mia!: Here We Go Again

I can’t stand jukebox musicals anyway, but Mamma Mia was always one of the worst. Its boring, meandering story with its one note, obnoxious cast of characters screeching out ABBA songs like they’re at some drunken karaoke session at some poor sod’s hen party has always grated on my nerves. So imagine my delight when they announced we were getting a sequel. Ever wondered how Meryl Streep met her three lovers and founded her hotel? No? Well tough shit, we’re going to tell you anyway.

Mamma Mia: Here We Go Again is basically just Mamma Mia again. The actors still can’t sing, the characters are still annoying and story is still boring and meandering, completely at the mercy of the chosen songs rather than the filmmakers using the songs to compliment the story (you know? Like proper musicals do?).

How can I resist you? Very easily as it turns out. Gimme, gimme, gimme a fucking gun so I can end my misery.

The Cloverfield Paradox

A lot of people were unhappy about the direction Cloverfield was going. They wanted a continuation of the found footage, kaiju movie from 2008, not an anthology series. I was personally all in favour. Partially because I thought the first Cloverfield was a tad overrated, but mostly because I thought it would be a great opportunity for more experimental film projects and could be a great launchpad for new writers and filmmakers. 10 Cloverfield Lane was a great start. Then The Cloverfield Paradox happened.

The Cloverfield Paradox is basically JJ Abrams trying to have his cake and eat it too. Maintaining the anthology format whilst connecting everything together in a ‘shared universe’ (yes, yet another shared universe). The result was a cliched, poorly edited and idiotic mess of a film that actually took away from the previous two films rather than added to them. Everyone hated it and, as a result, 2018′s Overlord, which was totes going to be part of the Cloververse, was made its own standalone film and Abrams double pinky promised to make a true sequel to the original Cloverfield. A complete and total disaster. No wonder it was a straight-to-Netflix film.

The Handmaid’s Tale - Season 2

This is probably going to be the most controversial entry on the list, but please hear me out because I’m not the only one who has a problem with this season.

I was reluctant to watch The Handmaid’s Tale simply because of how gruesome the original book was, but I forced myself to watch the first season and I thought it was pretty good. It remained faithful to the source material for the most part and included some nice additions that helped to expand the story and mythos. If it was just a one off mini-series, everything would have been fine. But then they made the same mistake as The Man In The High Castle and Under The Dome did where they commissioned another season and attempted to tell a story that goes beyond the book.

There’s a reason why the original story ended where it did. The Handmaid’s Tale isn’t meant to be an empowering story about women sticking it to the patriarchy. It’s a cautionary tale about how fragile our civil rights truly are and how easily they can be taken away from us. It’s designed to shock, not to satisfy. So seeing a handmaid blow herself up in a suicide bombing feels very incongruous and just a little bit silly. It would be like doing a TV adaptation of George Orwell’s 1984 where the first season followed the source material and then the second season turned Winston Smith into this heroic freedom fighter trying to overthrow Big Brother. It would represent a fundamental misunderstanding of what the book was about in the first place.

And then of course there’s the increased level of violence in Season 2, which many have complained about. In Season 1 and the original source material, the violence was justified. In Season 2, the motivation behind the violence has gone from ‘how can we effectively demonstrate how easily a fascist patriarchy can happen in the West?’ to ‘what brutal act can we inflict upon Ofglen to shock the audience this week?’ It’s purely for shock and nothing more. And with the showrunner (who I feel I should mention is a man) announcing that he has planned ten seasons of this, it seems that The Handmaid’s Tale is going to go even further with this depravity until it effectively becomes the equivalent of a Saw film.

The Handmaid’s Tale exists as a way of shining light on and critiquing misogyny in its most extreme form. Season 2 however demonstrates that there is a serious risk of it becoming the very thing it’s criticising in the first place.

The Predator

I love the Predator franchise, but The Predator is the worst.

People thought that this would be good because director Shane Black had actually starred in the first Predator movie back in 1987. Instead we got this bloated, confusing, obnoxious and insulting mess of a film that seems to go out of its way to ruin everything that makes Predator so good. There’s no tension. No suspense. No intrigue. Just a bunch of gore, explosions and shitty one liners from annoying and lifeless characters. They essentially took this big alien game hunter from outer space and turned him into a generic monster from a bad summer blockbuster. It no longer hunts for sport. It wants to take over the world and splice our DNA with theirs. But don’t worry, a rogue Predator doesn’t want to kill humans (even though he himself kills a bunch of humans), so he gives us a Predator Iron Man suit to set up a sequel that will probably never happen because this movie was a box office bomb and it fucking SUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKKEEEEEDDDD!!!

This film also has a very nasty streak towards those with disabilities. There’s a lot of jokes at the expense of a character with Tourette’s and it has an extremely ignorant and patronising view of autism, portraying the main character’s kid as being a super genius who can decipher the Predator language and even going so far as to say that he represents ‘the next stage of human evolution.’ Presumably the Predators want social communication difficulties because apparently it helps them hunt somehow.

What with Disney acquiring 20th Century Fox, the future of both the Alien and Predator franchises were very much in question. This film needed to be a success in order to make a case for Disney to keep making more of them. It wasn’t. Congratulations Shane Black. You might have just killed off this franchise for good. Thanks arsehole! :D

So those were my least favourite stories from 2018. Join me on Wednesday where we shall discuss something more positive. Yes, it’s awards season. Who shall win the coveted Quill Seal Of Approval? Watch this space...

Or don’t. It’s up to you. I don’t want to force you or anything. It’s a free country.

[ick25]

Rockman.EXE Episode 41 Review.

The cutest and funniest episode of Rockman.EXE I’ve seen so far!

“Good” is a relative term.

We open the episode with some shots of Densan city under a thunder storm. A lightning bolt hits a building causing a black out, and for some reason the lightning bolt also appears in the cyber world shocking a strange glass case with what looks like a cat inside. The cat escapes and somehow appears as a giant in the real world, covering the whole city with it’s shadow.

After the title card, we see a dog happily munching on a bone when something strange walks by causing it to drop the bone in shock.

The strange creature stops in front of Netto’s house where we see our blue bandana boy enjoying some curry his useless mom brought him along with some tea while Midorikawa talks in the news about the weird cat shadow seen last night.

Netto finishes his meal, but notices that the tea is missing.

What is wrong with this woman? In what universe is that normal?! (oh, right, anime, and maybe Charlie Brown)

Netto is understandibly confused about seeing Rush in the real world, he even touches him to see if he is a hologram.

He is not. I doubt Rush has hair, so I guess his head must feel pretty smooth.

Right after this, Netto receives a phone call from Meiru-chan telling him that she can’t find Rush. Netto tells her that Rush is drinking tea at his house, they are both confused about this so they think their Navis might know what is going on. 

Netto runs to his room to talk to Rockman, but...

I got to be honest, the first time I saw this I was actually expecting to see Rockman on Netto’s bed or something, but that already happened in the manga, and it was freaking hilarious! XD

                                                                                            <----------------------------

Also, Netto’s mom was called out for being so calm in weird situations.

                                                                                                            <---------------

Anyway, instead, Netto and Meiru get this.

So cute! :3

Both Rock and Roll have become cat navis. Their confused netops ask them why they look like that, but nya-ther of them know the cause.

According to Japan, cats say “Nya” instead of “Meow”. The more you know.

Inmediately after, Netto receives calls from Dekao, Yaito and Tohru at the same time, their Navis have also been turned into cats.

Iceman is playing with Gutsman tail during this scene. X3

Not only our heroes, but according to Midorikawa, the whole net has been affected, Navis and viruses everywhere have turn into cats for some unknowen reason.

LOL, Higure’s face.

Like we need a reminder that CGI is inmune to these kinds of things. But if that’s the case, then how come she was under the control of a virus in episode 27?

Netto and friends are wondering whats going on, luckily for them, Netto’s dad appears out of nowhere to give them the answer.

“Where the hell have you been?!”

“Doing computer stuff in the Bahamas, nothing out of the ordinary”

Seriously, nobody asks about the tan! O-O

Netto’s new tanned dad tells them that the cause of everything is a new computer virus that escaped a research lab last night. The virus is called the “Neko Virus”, which means “Cat virus”, and it has the ability to transform Navis and other viruses into cats.

Netto asks about Rush appearing in the real world as well, but amazingly enough, his dad has no clue and doesn’t think it’s related to the Neko virus. After taking another look at his adorable new cat navi, Netto asks if there is a way to change them back.

At least somebody finds her useful.

We cut to the Net Agents ready to jump into action.

But somehow they didn’t realize that their Navis were also affected by the Neko virus. The worst part is that Sharkman is still a fish.

Not the kind of catfish you’d expect to see in the internet-nya? :3

After a pointless scene of Netto’s useless mom serving them lunch, and Rush trying to seem charming, we see the Navis thinking in the cyberworld until something suddenly happens to Iceman.

Yuichiro tells them that if they don’t get a vaccine soon, the Navis will permanently become cats and that the speed of the transformation depends on the size of the Navi. The vaccine might not be ready on time, so their only hope is to find and capture the Neko Virus. 

In the next scene we see the five Navis walking around an empty Internet City trying to find the virus.

That’s a brilliant plan, Rockman. Also, wasn’t Iceman’s body transformed in the last scene? And where is his tail? Just how consistent is the animation for this episode?

They even look for the Neko virus at a ball shop, yes, a “Ball” shop, just so we can get this scene where one of the balls fall out forcing the Navis, except for Iceman, to fight their feline instincs of playing with it.

I’m all for the Rockman butt shots, but do we have to see Gutsman’s butt too? And there is a coloring mistake in the fourth panel which answers my question of the animation quality for this episode.

The Navis keep searching knowing that they can now relate to the Neko virus, they deduced that the virus is taking a nap, since cats love to take naps, and the best place for that is the park.

They arrive at Internet city’s park where they find the Neko virus sleeping and they try to ambush it, but the virus wakes up and scratches Gutsman out of its way.

Gutsman gets angry and tries to attack the Neko virus, but ends up getting his claws stuck.

Now, lets forget for a moment that Battle chips are not allowed in Internet City and just enjoy this next scene.

Rockman gives chase to the Neko virus, Netto sends him a Mini Bomb, but since the bomb is round you can guess where this is going.

“Iceman got to play with a ball, it was my turn!”

Netto then sends a Sword, but for some reason it won’t appear, so Rockman tries to attack the Neko virus with his claws, but he misses and gets scratched instead.

Neko virus uses fury swipes, its a critical hit.

The Neko virus dissapears after this, and a huge tremor happens in the real world where Netto and the others discover that the virus has materialized in Akihara.

CATZILLA!!!

After commercials, Netto and the others are out on the street trying to figure out what the heck is going on.

There are two things wrong with this. One, Netto already checked earlier that Rush isn’t a hologram, and two, if Rush isn’t affected by the Neko virus because he is a dog, then why are other animal type viruses and Navis affected by it? Sounds like the Neko virus is racist against dogs.

As they keep staring at Nekozilla, Tohru discovers that Iceman has fully become a cat.

At least Icecat hasn’t lost his freezing powers- nya :3

Netto fears that Rockman will have the same fate and runs to capture the Neko virus by himself.

Sea lion? I wouldn’t be mad, I would be confused.

The Neko virus gives chase to Netto.

At least one of his parents worries about him.

Netto lures the Neko virus into a street between two large buildings and this happens.

.....

The giant Neko virus struggling causes debris to fall on Netto, but Rush saves him in the last second. But before a second block of concrete from the building falls on them, Yuichiro figured out why the Neko virus grew so big and creates a lightning bolt with his computer to hit Rush. For real.

“By the power of science! I summon a thunder storm!”

This is where the episode passes from cute and funny to ridiculous. 

Acording to Yuhichiro the lightning bolt at the begining of the episode was what caused the Neko Virus to become a giant in the real world. Now, with his super scientific power and a really awesome computer, he creates a lightning bolt to make Rush become a giant as well, saving Netto from the falling debris.

Rush becomes a giant and fights the Neko virus, but I’m not gonna waste time taking sceen shots because the “battle” was also a waste of time, it’s like watching Snoopy trying to be epic and failing.

Anyway, the Neko virus starts beating the crap out of Rush until he summons a hole underneath it.

Long live the king-nya :3

The hole sends the Neko virus back to cyberworld where Rockman and the others can finally catch him.

Unfortunately they’ve gone too deep into the transformation to remember what they were suppoused to do.

After Gutsman and Glyde’s bodies change, which disproves what Dr. Hikari said about the transformation depending on the size of the Navi, the Neko virus starts to walk away. 

Netto checks his chips to see what he can do to prevent the Neko virus from escaping again and has an idea.

Netto uses the Ratton virus chip to make Rockman and the others happily chase it around. Also note that Gutsman and Glyde’s bodies aren’t different, once again the art department got lazy.

The Ratton virus dissapears near the Neko virus and Netto fools the Navis into attacking it.

Looks like Rockman snaps out of it, because inmediately after, Netto activates the Elec Brother Style and we get this Nya style change sequence. :3

Why can’t they put this amount of effort in the other scenes? I guess that’s too much to ask because the Neko virus tries to get away from the normal looking Rockman, but Elec Brother Rockman stops it by using one of Roll-nya’s candy hearts.

Rockman uses his electrical attack and defeats the Neko virus, and gets the cat girl. Nya! :3

Thats a nice detail how the electric attack looks like a cat.

And the episode ends with Rockman narrating everything that happend afterwards.

Tell me about it, Rock.

What do I think?

This was a fun episode to watch, and even if you want to pretend that this isn’t canon, it is because Rush can now travel between the cyberworld and the real world as he pleases, giving me another reason to hate this character.

As you may already know from my review of episode 24, I talked about why I dislike Rush. At first he is just a pet for Roll that appeared once in a while to help the Navis with something by using his holes, in this episode the writers decided to give him a “personality”, but all they did was make him a japanese Snoopy, and giving him the ability to travel between worlds was pushing it too far. Many fans, including myself, would love to see Rockman and Netto in the same space together, because we know that since Netto is a human and Rockman is a computer program that can only exist in the cyberworld it isn’t possible, so having seen an opportunity for this to happen and giving it to a minor character feels like the anime was trolling us. >:C

Japan seems to have a thing for cat like characters or just cat girls in their animes, so there was bound to be an episode featuring that in any way that they could posibly think of.

In case you were wondering, no, there was no scene showing Blues as a cat, even though there is no way Enzan could prevent that from happening, he is just too cool to appear in a funny episode.

[richmarc]

Update on paper #100117

So seeing that i never really admit my problems i tend to write my facts on paper but never all in the same breath or at the sametime, ill let my guard down for this second cause i simply need to clear my mind

Dear Tumblr,

I apologize that i have returned in a moments notice and i know I've been gone for a while. A bunch of controversial drafted post sitting in my file to never see the light of day and fears....excuses as to why i stuck with you so long. I remember when you were as private as a joke carved into a bathroom stall door, now your like the gossip newsletter flying around campus streets. I got dicouraged, knowing i was writing what I considered at the time "blue magic" and my product wasn't reaching the customers in mass quantity.

Lately i have been soul searchimg and quite frankly I didn't find what i was looking for from the moment i left, but i confide in you cause beneath the codes and backgrounds of what you are and the freedom I believe you give me, i feel as if though i have the power to make my stream line of data you keep my world. Ive changed in so many ways and have yet to dound a way to be satisfied by you, so like a battered relationship i guess for now I'll stick with you cause you and I are misunderstood and "I know you love me... i know you do <movie quote "

So ill share how shitty I feel and see what you or the universe will have to say about my open letter to you..

I have been wasting my time with females that i deemed to be a fit for me, just to be dissapointed at the end that they be on some bullshit.

I had a beautiful daughter that i don't have the honor nor the pleasure to be around, because we live in different places and I dedicate my life and time to working and making sure she has a future when she grows up and its not possible where she currently resides. Upon visits their always arguments and fucking ridicule from family begging me to sink everything thats for my daughter down the drain and restart because the memories are more important.

My daughters mother i love with all My heart and never thought I'll see the day we gotta be like this... madd some decisions that wasnt keen as to why we are where we are...on top of the fact that its been years now and forgiveness lesson i still haven't learned. I've told this woman my greatest fears of never wanting my daughter to wake up without me there and etc... and its not easy scraping the plate completely fucking clean to someone who ACCIDENTALLY made you live out that nightmare

So.....suicide would be pointless and selfish now cause you dont live for you cause the moment i seen my daughter and she seen me...I've glady destroyed my world and soley been working to build hers...cause despite the situation im first and foremost a fucking proud parent.

Not eveyone knows she exists, the world is becoming a encyclopedia of open information. Google face recognizing this mf been in multiple pics with you, that you took a shit in this Macy's and their reviews are 4.5, or you spent the weekend in Birmingham's motel 6 and you didn't state how you like your stay.... so due to the confusion i just state needless to say something thats so near and dear to me i don't post, comment, hashtag on cause the world doesn't need to join in that aspect of my life right now. I wanted to take it like it was when I was a kid, you know no twitters and ig's, summers actually spent outside maybe 2 people on the block with a Nintendo but yall all shared games... it funny some people cant remember what they wrote a year ago yet... a memory like that can never be clouded nor replaced..

I work 17hrs out of 24hr days for people who use me like an ox pulling A plough through a fucking field....

Lol... trynna be nice and not simply state its like being what african american always considers on topics pointed to racism... but you get the jist. Knowing everyday your mind wonders off and consider you better, knowing you can do better than this hoping and wishing the boss will shown you some love for a meal ticket to eat and thats no anology js......

To a man who appears to have the comparison of a marshmallow but not in wieght and stature, but color and feelings... dexterities very bleek and immobile. The kind of guy my father say look out for cause they can never look you in your eyes.

Trying to move up in the company and do something i consider something that'll be worth missing my daughters 1st etcs..... had the interviews a month's ago. A flood hits florida and somehow that had something to do with mu fucking response to advancing or not cause some asswipe want to go down and volunteer knowing he's going for the same postion I am and we gotta wait for this non relevant mf to come back to have a "fair shot" are you fucking kidding me? There's 2 slots open and im staring at what I want just fucking sitting there dusting... ok...

My bestfriend that I've loved since I was 15, come to find out basically been lying to me the past couple of years sending me mixed signals about what our relationship is and what it could be and all along she thought lying to me about being happy with the mf she's with and randomly coming up pregnant with twins with the mf was gonna hurt my feelings if she just kept it honest and told me i never had a shot to begin with, meanwhile leaving me looking like the thrist-bucket who's been chasing her and she never looked as like she wronged me...hmmm then to turn around and find another mf you know whos near and dear done the same thing and hid a pregnancy cause they didnt know how you'll feel

Friends are becoming distance from multiple sides of the globe,with the exception of the 3 goats you always keep, love....? Ummm next,

The new company who bought your apt complex decides to waltz they ass in ya spot to call bullshit and try to charge you $300 for something

Uhhhh you get the picture

I say all thst to say it's been a rough little min, thats for those who actually noticed my absence... I'm trying to contain the balst radius for when imma lose it, but this 2'5 9month tape recorder keeps me in check from losing it all and making me retain humbleness, even in my worst of times.....

Consider this a memoir for when I actually get to the sweetspot of life ,the scallops and stallions for breakfast portion

But fuck it we all human I just don't have a problem admitting the shits thats been killing me...

Until I need you again Tum tum

Sincerely yours,

Hypno Umbrella

[theheirofillea]

S E L E C T I O N   A P O C A L Y P S E   W E E K   ~   D A Y  1

hey babes! so i had absolutely no idea what to do for this theme, so i decided to make a little mini edit and just have a rant session hahah because you can never go wrong with rants!  oh yeah quick psa; some of this seems really harsh but in all honesty i love the characters and i just wanted to embrace the theme in its entirety lolol! so please dont take any personal offence! i love you all! <3

1. our leading lady, america singer schreave

also known as america “im doing this for me but im gonna screw up all of your lives as well” singer schreave. like more than once, america has done actions to help herself, but have hurt other people around her. For example, she keeps her romance with Aspen as a safety net during the selection, just in case things didnt work out with Maxon. um, there are many flaws that america has done, but honestly, if i were in her position, i would have done some of the same things, so i dont really have the right to rant about it lol

2. eadlyn helena margarete schreave, aka the princess shining pearl

ok, so i love eady, but some things (whilst reading the heir and the crown) shes done have made me scream considerably. Numero uno; PICKING ERIKKKK. ok so i dont have anything against erik or eadrik shippers or the ship itself, but lemme lay this down on you all. so ive been a hardcore keadlyn shipper since like day one lol. it seemed perfect, theyve known eachother their whole lives, and its so cuuute omg like marlees kid and ames kid falls in love, like its perfect! (ok i know josie and kaden fall in love later so technically its good that keadlyn didnt happen because if it did, then kosie wouldnt have happened so im thankful in that sense). i also kind of felt that (in my personal opinion) there wasnt really enough buildup for eadrik. like im used to ships progressing in like 2 or 3 books, but i feel like eadrik was more rushed than keadlyn would have been. but anyways, moving on. i feel like its pointless for me to rant about her behaviour in the heir but honestly props to @partylikeawordstar because that character development in the crown though was A++++ 

3. aspen ‘go to the palace and forget about me but waaait i love you come back’ leger

haha ok so this is going to be funny. ive forgiven aspen over the past couple of years and with alot of coercion from @skylars-selection but when i was still reading the books i was soooo mad. like honestly, he loved ames, and he pushed her away, but when he realized that america may actually like maxon or may have a possibility of liking maxon, he runs to the palace to watch her and be there for her. he redeems himself through saving maxon and ames during the one though, so its okay aspen! also, him being there for eady was adorbs omg like ahhhh *heart eyes*. he was just sad that his lover was moving on and it was kinda sorta his fault for sending her away. but i love lucepen so im not crying lol (theyre so cuuuute)

thats it for day 1! im not sure if ill be posting tomorrow, it depends on if i have time lol. again, this is probably the first time im posting something so opinionated, but i thought it would be fun! please dont take any personal offence to anything i have said above, im just exaggerating everything (as the theme says lol). thanks again, everyone!! special shoutout to @prince-consort-erik for hosting this week!

[itsjcwn-blog]

Whats going through my mind...

“Slowly but surely, you will stop caring what he’s up to or who he’s with because you’ll be too busy worrying about your goals and your growth. You’ll be busy living your life, fulfilling your dreams and reaching new heights that anything that reminds you of him will be nothing of the past.”

“I’ll never regret meeting you. You were the best mistake I ever made. All the tears I shed, all the time I lost, and all the overthinking I did weren’t in vain because they taught me to never give my love out so freely ever again. See, I learned to love myself with all my flaws and I learned to forgive those that have done me wrong in the past. So, I thank you for everything you put me through. You helped me grow. You helped me build the woman I am today and remain me of the type of woman I'll never be again. “

“I start to distance myself once I feel like I'm being taken for granted, or that my feelings are stronger than yours. There’s no point in calling, texting or keeping in constant contact with you like I did before. I'll ignore your calls and messages, and will only answer when I feel the need to. Reciprocity is what I'm looking for. If you can’t give me that, we’re both just wasting our time.”

“You have no idea of the damage you cause a woman when you leave her without a valid reason. You install a fear in her that whoever comes next will leave her too.”

“I’m done. I kept giving you chances you didn’t deserve. I fought and fought to make things work. I thought I had to keep trying harder each time things fell apart until I realized I was fighting on my own. You no longer made me a priority in your life, so I had to change your role in mine.”

“I just wanted closure from you. I wanted to hear the reasons why you left me. I wanted answers, anything to ease my mind and my heart. It took me years to realize, no matter what you said or did would be pointless because I would never believe your explanations anyway. The only closure I ever needed was within me. That desire for closure was holding me back from moving forward. If I wanted to let go, I also had to let go of that desire for you to admit you were a complete jerk. I had to let go of that desire of you admitting you were wrong for hurting me the way you did. Thats when I finally found peace of mind.”

“Its funny how you think you know someone until they flip on you. You let your guard down, believing they’ll never do you wrong, but they end up betraying you. Be thankful for seeing them for who they truly are and thankful they’ll no longer have access to your heart. You don’t deserve this, it’s not your fault.”

“All I want is to forget you. I even tried meeting someone new, until I realized I couldn’t use someone to heal my own pain. I couldn’t jump into a new relationship just to try to erase you from my mind. That would be selfish and I refuse to become the same person you are, hurting others and leaving them destroyed while walking around like everything is okay. So, no matter how long it takes me to get over you, I'll know I did it without playing with someone else’s emotions.”

“Maybe I'm stuck because all I can think of are the memories we once shared, and moving on would mean I'd have to let go of the past... and thats something I'm not sure I'm ready to do.”

“He doesn’t deserve you. The more you do for him, the more he takes advantage of your kindness. And yet, you stay... hoping... wishing... praying that someday he will change. When will you learn to see him for who he really is?”