#istg this program is not like those

[flatoatchi]

it's actually so fuckin cool that i could go be a direct care worker for the same residential treatment center i went to bc they have a location in sacramento. i'm being genuine ive wanted to do that literally since i got discharged but i didn't want to move to middle-of-nowhere connecticut, like the program literally taught me how to save my own life and i still remember all the direct care staff that supported that and damn i wanna be that person for someone

they're also opening a location literally half an hour away from where i currently live and i'm so excited about that bc mental healthcare on cape cod has been severely lacking, i literally pass by it on the way to my therapist's office and we're both so jazzed about it

[idkmanwtfishumanityanymore]

y’all someone needs to ban me from this channel ISTG I just got SO HEATED with someone in a comment section for saying Monty and Puppet are in the right for mocking BloodMoons’ brothers death💀

here’s my comment if y’all were curious. (People who are easily upset/affected by BM’s trauma DO NOT READ FURTHER. I went feral💀🙏)

“You do NOT. want to start this fight. Ahem.”

“FIRST OFF, no one fucking deserves to have a serious loss in their life mocked. I don’t care what they’ve done, if Monty and Puppet want to be any better than BloodMoon, they wouldn’t stoop to his level.”

“SECOND, the murderer part? Have you just COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN that they have a programmed bloodlust they CAN’T GET RID OF? Eclipse programmed them to kill, it’s all they’ve ever known. OF COURSE THEY’RE GOING TO KILL PEOPLE IF IT’S THE ONLY THING THEY KNOW.”

“THIRD, I know you didn’t mention it, but they weren’t “incapable of redemption”, when they were staying with Foxy and FC, (sure they had a bomb in their head, but) they were the most “tame” and calm we’d ever seen. Still snarky and making threats left and right, but they accepted the infinitely-bouncing-chicken and played with it for a while, they mostly just sat in silence when they weren’t being bothered, and if I remember correctly- FC and BloodMoon ended up sparring or something, or it was atleast mentioned that FC wanted to spar with them-“

“FOURTH, EVERYONE THEY’VE EVER TRUSTED, BETRAYED OR HURT THEM. Eclipse, their original creator, already betrayed them by forcing an inescapable Lust for blood on them. Lunar, Lunar was using them to get rid of Eclipse, and inevitably abandoned them. Eclipse AGAIN, not only did he MAKE THEM INTO a backup for himself, and forced his way into their minds, but he also MADE THEM go back to the Pizzaplex when they were perfectly happy on the streets killin’ hobos like TrashMan. KillCode, he claimed to be their father, but did he ever really act like it? Sure he gave them advice and blood, but what else did he do for them? Because from what I remember, it sure wasn’t much. Ruin, Ruin rebuilt them after dying to Sun, and SPECIFICALLY PROGRAMMED them to NEED someone to control them, Ruin claimed to care about them, promised their body had nothing strange about it, but when talking to Solar, BloodMoon was informed of a secret, hidden weak point in their casing, which they VERY MUCH were not happy with. Solar, before they even agreed to help him get back Sun and Moon and defeat Ruin, they had a panic attack because they were afraid they’d be tricked and used again- WHICH HEY GUESS WHAT? IT HAPPENED AGAIN JUST LIKE THEY FEARED, Solar promised them they could go free as long as they didn’t go after the Celestial family, or their friends, which up until Solar said he wanted to KILL THEM, they were listening to! They were back out on the town, killing people like the first time they ran away from someone that claimed could be trusted, (The one before having been Lunar) and they only decided to attack any of the family AFTER Solar said he wanted to kill them. (Not including Lunar, that was before the deal with Solar) Rotaerc/Rodrick, creator in disguise, also just using them as a weapon. StitchWraith, literally threatened to separate them and show them what “True loneliness” felt like or some shit. Monty and Foxy, sure they didn’t TRUST those two, but they were still used. Everyone they’ve ever trusted, has used them, betrayed their trust, or hurt them.”

“SPEAKING OF ECLIPSE AGAIN, WHEN STITCHWRAITH SAID SOMETHING THAT REMINDED THEM OF ECLIPSE, THEY HAD A REACTION I CAN ONLY DESCRIBE AS TRAUMATIZED, AT THE THOUGHT OF BEING STUCK WITH SOMEONE LIKE ECLIPSE AGAIN.”

“MAY I ALSO MENTION THAT IN THE EPISODE WITH A REAL BLOOD MOON IN THE SKY, THEY MENTION THAT THEY DON’T LIKE HAVING THIS BLOODLUST? WHEN THEY DON’T CONSUME/SPILL BLOOD, IT’S ALMOST LIKE THE SYMPTOMS OF A SUBSTANCE WITHDRAWAL, WHICH ARE PAINFUL AS HELL.”

“Sorry for the Essay, but I’m 100% willing to go OFF on anyone who just completely disregards that the twins had trauma too. All the villains except maybe Creator, have their own traumas, and I’m sick and tired of everyone ignoring that.”

Y’ALL SOMEONE GET ME AWAY FROM THIS CHANNEL BEFORE I LITERALLY ATTACK SOMEONE AHDHHDHDHFCH /hj

Edit: SCREAMS AND CRIES SUPERSTAR BONGOS REPLIED TO MY COMMENT I COPY-PASTED TO HERE MAKING FUN OF MY AGGRESSION OVER AN OPINION- IDKWHETHER TO LAUGH OR CRY💀🙏

[nouearth]

and what would this backup plan consist of?

i can't lie, this is probably my toxic trait. i play, like, warzone or valorant or...counter strike. i-, i have no excuse. most of my friends are straight so i just roll with the program. i'm so down for tekken though! do you play mortal kombat too?

praise you more, hm? you're cute. i will if you're good, pretty.

- 🦇

💌 : oh man, i haven't thought that far yet... okay, my backup plan would be... if you're acting up... i'm saving the leftover brownie batter for myself! gotta hit you where it hurts the most, right?!

the funny thing is that i watch people play those games, but i never actually brought myself to play them other than valorant! valorant is so hard, istg. i somehow suck at it even more than overwatch... (maybe i need a tutor.......) i don't have mortal kombat, but i have played the new one! i'm not totally in love with the way the game plays especially compared to tekken, but it's a fun time!

stop, i'm feeling things. i should be cooking but you're distracting me.

[thepinkpetalpages]

Jan 07/2025

studying is a fucking scam and so is school. bro i was wayyy to close to fliping the table in my chem class cause how tf i stududid for 3 days, DAYS. i normally do it the day of and i reviwed in class before the test started and somehow got a 68..... im in early collage/honors so i really cant be cought lacking like that not to mention its a unit exam and i need minimum a 85 in all classes to stay in the program. 2025 is not my year beacuse we only 7 days into this bullshit and the universe thinks its funny to play with me like this. WHEN I FUCKING CATCH WHOS PRAYING ON MY DOWNFALL trust they will be fuckig delt with. broooooo i was on instagram and i see one of my mutes post that a girl commited sewerslide over one of the nyc expose acounts like damn idk if its completyly true but still like damn i feel bad for her cause she prolly got flamed in 30 diffrent ways. so now all those nyc expose accounts are under invetigation. shit glad i never got posted. tdy i found out i have to write a essay for english and then a essay for history im not to happy about it tho cause like i have a life i fear...but my teachers said its mandatory (i call bullshit) so ig i have to. i got 2 test (geomtry and italian) pushed back (AYEEE) only pushed back until friday but still ill take anything. i have some geomtry hw also due friday but i looked at it and it looks like sum calm shit so im not worried. somebody told me tdy i have a cibaeno accent when i speak spanish (im from ciabo a region in the dominican republic) and i looked at them and asked are you stupid because not only am i dominican, IM FROM CIABO. its like the older they get the dummer they get cant wait to graduate man. my friend texted me in the middle of the day lemme get ur softball bat like girl we are in class why are u thinking about softball.... istg all she thinks is softball to her its air. she js texted me to with sum attitude like exuse me miss who tf u feeling like. ngl this moringing i realized how much strength i actually have bc i pushed my friend after she said "noooo ima stand" so i pushed in a joking way for the attidute and she went FLYINGGGG i felt bad but then she got her lick back and pushed me back and stole my seat. lowkey deserved it but still i didnt know i could actually send a person flyingggg, all my other friends were scared. i got home and took a fat nap then i had to get up to pick up my sister (thank god the daycare in my building its dummy brick to be going back outside) i was not to glad cause i had to get out of my warm bed like why cant she js walk herself shes 4 she can do it. my nephew goes to that same daycare so i saw him and broski was js munching on his hand. babies weird man but hes so cute and he smells clean idk why but he does. tdy i had fun flamming his dad because his dad didnt have a coat so he was freezing like ho its littlry 15 outside wear a coat its not summer. and i told my sister "man i should let his ass freaze" and then started saying "ho u think u frosty or sum" and "like the cold never botherd me anywayyy" my sistser found it funny so i screenshoted it and uploaded it to my insta cause no why do ppl see its 15 and windy and think they dont need a coat. ur not gaining any cool points for it... anyway on a good note i have sum good ass pepsi which is my fave and it was litterly so crispy cant wait to get one tmrw. i do have one question tho do ya understand me when i use nyc slang??

xoxo,

the pink petal

[magratpudifoot]

Finished 6 July 2024:

The Past in Visual Culture: Essays on Memory, Nostalgia and the Media - ed. Jilly Boyce Kay, Cat Mahoney, and Caitlin Shaw

This was the most consistently well-written essay collection I have read in a while, and I could tell how out of practice I am at sustained reading of academic anthologies.

The collection overall is a little scattered, although I think most of that impression is because the second section on current impressions of feminist History felt enough like it should be its own book that other sections seemed too disjointed in comparison.

I know I took some good notes that will be useful in the paper I am currently writing, and many of those notes are pointing me to other sources.

The final essay about memories of the moon landing was, for obvious reasons, the one that was most like what I was expecting from this collection, and the Land Army paper may have been the most interesting to me. The subject matter was entirely new to me, so learning a bit of history by reading an analysis of how that history has been represented in TV was fascinating.

The low point for me was the psychoanalytic paper, which was extra aggravating as I have recently read Frederick Crews' book on Freud and therefore somehow have even less patience for his methods than before. It is a shame they went into that study with a psychoanalytic lens, because the rest of the idea sounded intriguingly like the work I did with autobiographical material in my Linguistics course, and an analysis of how favorite TV shows shape people should have been a perfect study for my purposes. Alas, psychoanalysis. Istg I am not making this up: Working from a set of free association interviews about favorite TV programs, this essay's only conclusion was that one woman was scared of The Birds as a child because she must have seen her parents in "the primal act" at some point despite her not mentioning any such incident, and the reason she is now stressed that her son is getting married is because that means he is going to have sex. You cannot satirize this. This essay was published in 2017, y'all.

There is some interesting material here, although I think it perhaps works better as a repository of vaguely-related essays that someone can pull from for different courses than as a text with any overarching thesis.

[oysterie]

this program is one of those thats like broken into little topics and you have to do 10 topics a week and to complete a topic you have to get 5 questions in a row right and istg i rly hope the professor cannot see how many i am getting wrong -_-

[aroaceofthesea]

I honestly have no idea how ive gotten this far in competitive programming when i cant even quickly type a binary search

[murfpersonalblog]

TALK ABOUT IT!!! 👏

In Lestat's very first conversation with Louis (& Lily), he was talking just like the white men at quadroon balls--which Anne Rice wrote aaaallllll about in Feast of All Saints (and alluded to with the Black Mayfairs through Uncle Julien)--like he was in the frikkin spice aisle at the grocery store.

Rolin Jones explicitly said that he deliberately wrote about Loustat's relationship as an interspecies and interracial couple--and all that that implies about an older richer white European taking a younger black African American into his home/bed/coffin as a vampire "fledgling/slave." Their relationship/family was taboo; they cannot go out in broad daylight or reap the full societal benefits that a white (& human) couple/family could in their place.

"Ethnic European men entered into civil unions with non-Europeans of African...and mixed-race descent. The term comes from the French placer meaning "to place with". The women were not legally recognized as wives but were known as placées; their relationships were recognized among the free people of color as mariages de la main gauche or left-handed marriages. They became institutionalized with contracts or negotiations that settled property on the woman and her children and, in some cases, gave them freedom if they were enslaved."

I wanna know who owned the deed to 1132 Rue Royale, ISTG. 😒

And the part about CASKETS had me cackling:

France also relocated young women orphans known as King's Daughters (French: filles du roi) to their colonies for marriage to both Canada and Louisiana. France recruited willing farm- and city-dwelling women, known as casket or casquette girls, because they brought all their possessions to the colonies in a small trunk or casket. 👀

"Casket girls", considered among the ancestors of white French Creoles, were brought to Louisiana. The Ursulines, an order of nuns, chaperoned the casket girls until they married.... Some Creole families who today identify as white had ancestors during the colonial period who were African or multiracial, whose descendants married whites over generations. 👀👀

And this about casquette girls:

Contrary to the 'filles du roi' program in New France, many of these young women were sex workers in France.... Women were then sent directly to New Orleans. During the journey, they were not well taken care of, and upon their arrival in Louisiana, many appeared to have bloodshot eyes, leading to the term 'vampire girls' in addition to casquette girls. 👀👀👀

Headcanon accepted: somewhere way up the family tree, black!Louis DPDL was a descendant of CASKET GIRLS. 😭

And speaking of vampire girls in caskets (and the Ursuline Nuns), there's also Claudia:

I already ranted about how Claudia got NOTHING out of being a vampire--especially not AMC's black version. Unlike Louis, she was a perpetual child who'd never benefit from marriage--not her parents' marriage, and certainly her own.

I said in my Dracula's Brides post that I don't see book!Claudia as Lestat's "bride" at all, but that as much as I HATE thinking about her this way, book!Claudia was much closer to being Louis' "bride" (although ofc HE never saw/wanted her that way--the fandom's been hollering about those "paramour/lovers" lines for decades).

But unlike Louis, who inherited his white ancestors' sugar plantation, courted like a black mistress/bride to shack up with his white sugar daddy, Black!Claudia was a runaway slave who left the plantation!

Her liminal existence is telling, too, along with the whole issue about Claudia as Loustat's child in particular, and the ways vampire children get treated in IWTV, paralleled with mixed-race children in society.

Anyone who says AMC's race swaps & time changes ruined Louis & Claudia as characters is out of their minds; this rabbithole goes deep.

Sometimes I think about how loustat are in a placage marriage and make myself insane.

[procrastinatingsoicanreadfanfics]

Vikings + gen z slang

Summary: How Vikings Characters would react to Gen Z slang

Notes: back on working on requests, so i hope i can get some more oneshots out soon. happy lunar new year to everyone who celebrates!!

Tagged: @majesticwren @obsessiveformiyatwins @leithdragon @demon-of-the-ancient-world @alicedopey @ivarlover @levithestripper @batmandallyboy @akayxo09 @vrtualfairy (hmu to be added to any taglist!)

Masterlist | based on this request | requests are OPEN!

Ragnar

With the program

He knows that he’s a slay-queen-girlboss-cunt-serving-camp

He understands gen z slang like no other

Rizz? He’s got it. Mister Worldwide? Been there, done that.

Turns into a ninth century (?) twitter queen

Lagertha

She doesn’t really care all that much about gen z slang

“You’re slaying? Me too, but on the battlefield. Catch up.”

Pretends not to understand

Fully understands and sometimes busts down on her gen z meme culture knowledge

Aslaug

Aslaug is above gen z slang

But she also knows that she’s camp

She just knows

She’s a volva, magic is in her blood. You know what else is? An immaculate sense in fashion

That’s the only thing that might make her willing to try to understand our culture

Perfected the lightskin stare the moment she was born (it’s permanently on her face istg)

Athelstan

PLEASE NO

You know that ancient man video? Athelstan is the ancient man. Would he understand the video? No.

This would be his response: God, that girl looks terribly drunk.

As a linguist, he tries

Approaches it as a foreign language. It works to some degree.

I never want to hear the words “You’re serving girlboss today, Ragnar.” Out of his mouth

(this happened to me in a dream. Literally traumatizing)

Bjorn

Thinks it’s girlish (it is not)

Would say “You’re one of them queers?”

I mean yeah, but so is your mom.

Gen z talk isn’t cool enough for him (he’s suffering from Rollo’s internalized generational homophobia/gayness, give him some space)

Ubbe

Like a supportive mom

‘That’s wonderful sweetie. Now back to my casserole.’

Absolutely understands gen z slang after you teach him

Prides himself on having the most rizz

Boy you rizzed up a slave girl and your aunt calm down

Protects gen z slang against ivar like it’s cultural heritage

Hvitserk

Worst mistake you could make is teach him slang

He uses it

Just incorrectly

At all times

And does not care to be corrected.

Slang is a product of pop culture? Hvitserk is now making it HIS product

Deal with it (don’t. make him stfu pls.)

Sigurd

He’s one of those abcdefu people

The ones that are like ‘let me sing my new song for you, and if you don’t like it, I’ll pay for your gas’

So annoying

But also in an indie artist generational trauma daddy issues kind of way, so I can forgive him

Not really

Ivar

HATES gen z slang more than anything

He thinks it’s stupid

Dumb

Dull

Incredibly unintellectual

Secretly uses it to express his feelings in a diary he burns every week

Ecbert

ECBERT MY SILLY LITTLE GASLIGHT GATEKEEP GIRLBOSS

Manwhore and proud!

Get this man a gag asap or you’ll live to regret the day you met him

With him and Ragnar, you’re gonna be stuck in a little hellcircle (probably to be joined by Athelstan)

Gets acrylics despite not knowing what they are and clicks with them

STOP HIM! STOP THIS SILLY LITTLE MAN!

Aethelwulf

Literally the opposite of Ecbert

If he has to spend one more second around his father speaking slang

He’ll cut off his ear to match Judith

And then the other to outdo her (he’s such a loser smh)

So done with Ecbert

He’ll literally hate everything Ecbert likes

[yakumtsaki]

Sophie is resting after an eventful night of giving birth and training cats, but as usual Sandy Fairchild is lurking, waiting to strike. Goddammit Sandy leave her alone, her needs are shit!

-WAKE UP SOPHIE, TIME TO DIE

-AAAAAH WHY DID I WAKE UP

Ya I don’t know Soph, why did you?? Sandy you dumbass entity, Sophie wasn’t even around when you got killed.

-I DON’T CARE, FUCK ALL OF YOU ALIVE BITCHES

-BOO, BOOOO JOJO, YOUR ROBOT SUCKS

-Oh, my stars and garters!

Literally the only person in this house Sandy has yet to attack is Wyatt, aka THE ONE THAT ACTUALLY MURDERED HER.

-Wéll mùrdèr est une stròngè wôrdé! 

It’s a new day and someone needs to take care of those kids until the butler arrives. Jojo as usually steps up! Love you Jo♡

And WYATT STEPS UP ALSO. WTF. Boy I did not see that coming given his parenting record, good for toi, mon bebe!

-And Jack Do will also step up!

JACK DO WTF. WHY ARE YOU BACK HERE AT THE CRACK OF DAWN

-I’m not here! 

YES YOU ARE I CAN SEE YOU

-No you can’t! Stop it!

Cyneswith is occupied with more important matters than taking care of her newborn, such as this transparent attempt at seducing iVan..

-𝙻𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚄𝚗𝚒𝚝 𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚟𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚍; 𝙷𝚞𝚋𝚋𝚊 𝚑𝚞𝚋𝚋𝚊.

..and Sophie is making sure Maxx doesn’t feel bad about getting fired 2 days before retirement.

-It’s important for dogs to feel emotionally supported!

But not for babies, you’re so right, Soph!

The glitched butler is finally here, thank God, AND he has a different face on today, great job keeping things fresh!

-Let me just take this baby here and change his diaper..

Yes yes thank you!

-And then place it on the floor next to the other one.. All done!

Credit where it’s due, I was certain Shajar would flop in her ridic ‘become Mayor’ LTW but she has killed it, like this was record-time, only one promotion away-

-and then we won’t have any excuses to ignore our kid, will we, Shaj?

-Oh, I’m sure I’ll come up with something.

Bro why have you been such a flop wife lately, those promotions have really gone to your head.

Alright Soph, here we go, first parent to interact with their kid!

-Oh Shajar, oooh, you sneaky little turbocuck, knocked me up and left me to change the diapers.. well just you wait.... >:)

Sophie feeding Sophito with a dirty bottle while Don and Cyn slowdance-

-and Sugar is on the floor. Seems about right.

iVan loves Abbey! :)

iVan also loves swimming in the pool even though it causes him to run amok, electrocute everyone in his path, and break down :)

-Come back in, iVan, the water’s fine! 

Glitched butler istg. GO HOME

Hell yes, a deadly robot on the loose and porch roaches AGAIN. Can shit around here get any better?

Why of course it can, with Wyatt HEARTFARTING OVER SOPHIE. BRO. Legit I can’t even caption this, let’s just move on.

iVan has been running amok and threatening to electrocute everyone for like 5 hours now, will you just break down already??

FINALLY. Man, Jojo, superb job you did with this construction, broken down twice in 2 days and has yet to do a single chore.

-Chore??

Ya, CHORE, he’s a servobot, that’s his entire thing!

-Oh alright, I see your confusion now, yes, he actually ISN’T a servobot.

What?!

-Yes, I sort of completely ignored you and made a killbot instead!

WHAT.

-You really expected me to give my personality to a SERVOBOT?? No, he’s programmed to run amok as often as possible and try to kill everyone.

‘Everyone’ in the sense of ‘everyone in your own family’?!

-Things were getting too calm and safe around here, how is this family ever going to reach its full potential without the threat of death? One day you’ll see my point.

YA I DON’T THINK I WILL

-Aww, I just love feeding my baby!💗

Unless you and Sophie have something to tell us, wrong baby, Cyn. 

There you go!

-Daddy said iVan would electrocute me if I didn’t start being a better mother, huhu🥺

-There there, Sophito, don’t worry, grandpa might not be around forever but he’s gonna electrocute everyone in this house until they become good parents!

Don’s dumb ass finally got promoted, let’s see how long before he gets demoted for the third time.

-This thing broken again?

I don’t know Don, why don’t you go into the pool with him and find out.

Maxx grows up! He’s so dashing <3

-Always have been ;)

He celebrates his birthday by beating up Torr! Wholesome animal friendships <3

-Torr, stop getting beat up by Maxx and come over here to learn how to shake!  -Meow meow, meow meow meow!!! -I don’t care that the fire of vengeance is coursing through your veins, we need to train!

MAXX OMG!!!!! BEST BIRTHDAY EVER 

*Wink*

Great job baby, can’t believe you rebounded from the firing in 3 days, ICONIC.

Sophie then rolls a want that shocks me to my very core:

BRUH. I have NEVER seen this want before, even super-duper animal lover Komei never rolled it, he was more than fine letting pets work for all eternity. Sophie your name from now on is officially Sophtie, I can’t believe you’re legit the kindest sim in this house and yet here we are.

-I’m not kind! You shut your goddamn mouth! Not you, Sugar, poor baby, Auntie Soph won’t let you starve <3

WHAT IS HAPPENING.

-Well Shaj, I think it’s fair to say if there was a best parent award, the two of us would tie for it! -Indubitably, my dear Don!

[citrusreadstoa]

Reading The Dark Prophecy: Chapter 8 (SPOILERS)

"since all he had to do was heat his hands a little." Careful, Leo! Some of these dishes can't withstand certain high temperatures. They'll crack!

"those secret scales on the Valdezinator?" "What secret scales?" I swear, that little music box is the only thing keeping Leo alive.

"Wouldn't the two springs, like, cancel each other out?" Exactly my thoughts. "Assuming the experience didn't kill you" O-oh. Istg every little thing you do in Greek mythology will kill you. Say someone's name? ZAP! Annoy a god? Constellation! Drink water from two different springs? Brain explodes! Step a little too far to the left and you'll probably melt or smthn idk.

"descend into the cave and experience... untold horrors." Delightful! I can't wait!!11! "That is one messed-up Oracle." No kidding. Everything in the Oracle is a 50/50 chance of dying or going insane. He says with any luck your mind will go back to normal. So altogether, that's a 50% chance of dying, a 37.5% chance of going insane permanently, and a 12.5% chance of coming out both alive and sane. Maybe we could just skip this one and let the emperors have it. We've got four other Oracles that usually don't drive people insane or kill them.

"The petitioner would be stuck with those horrors from the cave--forever." So the throne releases the horrors from your mind? Would you still remember it but be less burdened by it or would you forget it entirely? Also, it's really cool how they call the person "the petitioner."

"Georgina... that poor child. What do you think happened to her?" I don't know, what do you think, Calypso? Seems pretty self-explanatory.

"[The emperor] was not a nice person." I think we already could guess that, Apollo. "if I had the right emperor, this quest could be personally awkward." Oh, awkward is what you're worried about?

"Leo, you can't reduce everything to a program." Isn't that exactly the same thing Josephine is doing with the tracking device? They're both trying to use machines to find a person. Same-same. It's not reducing it to a program, it's repurposing an conveniently already-existing device. These two sound like they've had this argument before...

"Why does this rug look like a tightly woven net?" HAHAHAHA "This is a net." Yes.

"ascending in glory to sit at the right hand of my father." After everything he's done and put you through, you still want to sit beside him?

"You're probably thinking: It was Artemis." Well now that you say it, I'm not thinking that anymore.

"Britomartis, the goddess of nets." They have a goddess specifically for nets? Looked it up. She has mountains and hunting, too, which is nice. She also goes by the name Diktynna or Dictynna or Dicte. So now we have a link to the "House of Nets!" Are they referring to the Waystation and it's gonna turn out that it was created by Britomartis or something and that's why the Hunters use it a lot?

[myorgansaremelting]

yeah i know thats why i never ended up looking at it cause i cannot hold myself accountable to anything and i've been in the thing where my parents managed what i ate (thankfully i had to eat 2000s cals a day not fucking 10 billion like this website)

but yeah this shit is like straight up abuse. tbh i'm 99% sure most ed programs are abuse, like i've listened to people talk about the rules in those hospitals/programs and theyre stricter than prisons istg

people wanna slap a bangage on the symptoms (low bmi, low weight, weight loss, loss of period, low body fat, low heart rate, whatever) instead of fixing the actual problem, like not having any control over your life besides food/weight and the actual thoughts and stuff. weight gain is a side effect and goal in recovery, but not the recovery itself imo

(maybe unless like its medically nescessary the person needs to be gaining weight quickly cause actual medical stuff but the majority of ppl with eds arent even underweight)

omg i've been looking into the atdt stuff oh my god its actually terrifying. i saw it come up when i was trying to recover and needed something free + at home and it seemed weird so i didnt look into it and now i am, thats like so fucked up thank you for making me aware of this site :3

I don’t think it’s the kind of thing someone can do themselves since the abusive control is pretty much baked into it

they also advocate making their adult children financially dependent on them so they can use that as leverage (threaten to make them homeless if they don’t want to drink a milkshake every day or get below bmi 25) so it doesn’t even end when you turn 18

[regina-del-cielo]

“The Old Guard” Daemon AU: Nicky and the Italian wolf

(Guess who decided to jump on the Daemon AU wagon? Yeah)

I am very very Fond of the idea of Nicky’s daemon being a wolf, and here are all the reasons why

Nicky’s whole Life Philosophy is that the immortals are meant to find each other, and wolves are the Quintessential Pack Animal – and the packs are literal families. 🎶 ~ Found Family Vibes, babe ~ 🎶

Wolves are also one of the (very few) mammals that are monogamous and mate for life – if we were to listen to Rucka, Nicky went from priesthood to THEE Romantic Relationship of The Ages, if that’s not monogamy, I don’t know what is

Wolves’ hunting methods are collaborative, efficient and they either kill immediately or tire the prey out – Nicky is ruthless in hand-to-hand combat, but is also a sniper, which requires a LOT of patience. Sniping is a one-man work, but he also can fight flawlessly within a group – just like a wolf is deadly by itself, but also functions well in a pack hunt

Nicky and a wolf have the same ‘unsettlingly intense stare’ routine going on – those super light eyes zeroing in on you and apparently judging you… yeah.

(that’s the most Nicky face I’ve ever seen on an animal, istg)

Being social animals, wolves rely on a complex array of body language expressions, and Nicky may not be particularly loquacious (except when he wants to Diss a Bad Guy), but his face speaks VOLUMES (yes, this is very much an Ode to Luca Marinelli’s micro-expressions)

The whole Vibe is Nicky being ‘looks like a cinnamon roll but could actually kill you’ and his daemon being ‘looks like they could kill you but is actually a cinnamon roll’

(no one would suspect Nicky to be an Efficient Killer if they saw him at the grocery store, and most people would be Scared by the wolf daemon, but she is Very Much a Dork)

Like, LOOK AT HER

Wolves are the (unofficial) national animal of Italy, and until the eradication programs of the 19th century, they were common in all woods and mountains of the peninsula. Nicky’s daemon would look like the Italian endemic subspecies of the Eurasian grey wolf, Canis lupus italicus: they’re smaller and ‘scruffier’ than wolves from the other side of the Alps, and their fur is generally a mix of grey and reddish

Also, considering the reputation of wolves from the Middle Ages up to the 20th (and, damn it, 21st too) century, imagine THE D R A M A of Nicky with a she-wolf daemon. Let me paint a scenario for you:

Christianity in the Middle Ages constantly assigned symbology to animals, and in a Daemon AU this would be even MORE amped up – a world in which a person’s soul takes the shape of an animal, and using the interpretations of the Scriptures you can Clock immediately on who’s a good or bad guy? THEY WOULD JUMP ON THAT

While in the ancient Roman society wolves were, if not venerated, at least hugely tolerated and liked (they were sacred to Mars, the founding god of Rome), Christianity viewed them in an extremely negative light. Most animals in Christian symbology possess both positive and negative interpretations, but the wolf? Oh boy – they represented greed and destruction, the false prophets from which Christ, the shepherd, must protect the faithful (the sheep); and Dante, in the Inferno, used a she-wolf as a metaphor for greed and lust (even in Latin lupa, the she-wolf, was the figurative term to refer to prostitutes)

So here is Nicolò, second son of a family of Good Standing (Genova didn’t have the kind of landed aristocracy that comes to mind when thinking of Middle Ages noblemen; even the vicecomites, the noble families that descended from the vassals of the Holy Roman Emperor, had a good foot and a half into seafaring trade, and by then Genova was largely self-governing and independent from the Empire, even if not a Republic yet; so don’t imagine a Marquis or a Duke, ok?), intended for the clergy since a young age, instructed to be a priest, going through the whole process – and everyone assumes that his daemon will take a Proper Shape for a shepherd of souls. A heron (referred in the Bible as ‘the guide of sparrows’, was a symbol of St. Peter), a chicken (Christ was a mama chick caring for her babies), or a dog – dogs are obedient, dogs are protectors of the community, DOGS ARE GREAT DAEMONS FOR PRIESTS

And then, a couple of years before he’s set to become a deacon (the necessary step before becoming a priest), his daemon settles. And she’s undeniably a wolf.

(do I headcanon that Nicky saw wolves while sneaking out of the monastery school to wander the woods? Maybe. Even if he studied in the abbey of Santo Stefano, which is now almost in the city centre of Genova, we must remember that Nico’s Genova was tiny, with possibly 10k inhabitants max. Wilderness was probably much closer to home then than we could imagine now)

The reaction in the diocese is… not nice. Nicolò at first is kinda defensive about it, because ‘what the fuck, it feels right’ and 'is it really that bad? It’s not like she’s a snake, for Heaven’s sake!'

(note that while in Germany and France wolf hunting had already started at a systematic level, in Italy nothing on the sort was happening in that timeframe. Also, Genova and its surroundings relied much more on sea trade and piracy than on agriculture and livestock, so wolves had much less impact on human activities than in other regions of Europe)        

(also, the Church may have been spreading negative views about wolves, aided by Lombard invasions in which the Lombards themselves described their raids as ‘wolf packs ravaging the lands’, in true Germanic fashion, but you can’t wipe out more than a millennium of positive cultural association from ancient Greek, Sabinian, Etruscan and Roman times with a snap of fingers)

But he’s been taught since he was a child that Christ is a shepherd and wolves are the Enemy, so he has to think that maybe, maybe, something’s gone wrong? (especially when the freaking bishop of Genova takes him aside to ask him if he has some unconfessed sin that may have influenced the settling of his daemon)

He’s not been ordained yet (apparently in Ye Olde Days you had to be at least 25 to be a deacon, and at least 30 to be eligible for priesthood), and since he’s always been ‘such a good young man’, they allow him to stay for a while. They urge him to repent and confess, to pray and ask the Lord for counsel. Maybe, just maybe, if he repents properly, the evil will leave his soul and his daemon’s form will settle differently

(no daemon in history has ever changed form after settling; but the ways of the Lord are infinite, and He has done weirder miracles than that. You never know.)

By the time Nicolò is of age for deaconate, his daemon is still a wolf. She insists that the form fits her, them, perfectly, and she has no need to change into something else. Nico can pray all he wants, there’s nothing wrong with them

At this point, the only thing he can do is go back home. Now, he’s the second son. His older brother is set to inherit the family fortune (personally I’m digging the idea of his father being a land administrator for one of the Big Abbeys. Nicolò becoming a priest would have been great for the family business, just saying); knighthood is out of the question – it’s expensive as fuck, and it requires training since the age of seven. Nicolò is simply too old for that

also, before the First Crusade the attitude of the Church towards soldiers and fighters was… lukewarm at best. Killing was wrong, and even if one couldn’t avoid going to war if the legitimate king asked for it, if a soldier killed in battle, they had to repent publicly and abstain from Mass and Communion for a proper period of time. Monks were even more adamant against the use of violence – and that’s the cultural imprint that Nico, with his priest training, has received

But damn it, his daemon is a wolf. Every nosy neighbour looks at her and shakes their head, saying that they never would have expected mild, even-tempered Nicolò to have a warrior’s soul. “If this attitude had shown up when you were younger”, his father repeats every day, “I would have invested in a sword and a horse and we wouldn’t be in this mess now”

(the fact that wolves rarely become aggressive without good reason, like hunting food or defending their territory and pups, and would rather run away than attack a human if at all possible, is completely lost on them, so Nicolò being even-tempered and having a predator daemon doesn’t click in their minds. It doesn’t click in his mind for a while, either)  

So Nicolò joins the only military body available in Genova that doesn’t require him to be a knight – the crossbowmen. His aim is excellent (he did like hitting targets with a slingshot as a child,thank you very much), and nobody bats an eye at his daemon. He never meets someone else with a wolf daemon, but now he’s surrounded by falcons and hunting dogs, and even a lynx, so he doesn’t stand out as much

Since the crossbowmen participated only at the Siege of Jerusalem, Nicolò doesn’t leave with the first wave of Genoans that went to aid the siege of Antioch – and then came back, while leaving a few merchants inside the city to establish a fondaco for their commerce (maybe his brother does, who knows)

The words of the bishop and every other member of the clergy have been stewing inside Nicolò for a while – he’s been relatively able to ignore them while surrounded by laymen who were weirded out but not too much by her shape, but the promise of the redemption of sins if he fights to free the Holy Land (and apparently, fighting is what he’s destined for, isn’t it?) does appeal to him

Spoiler alert: war sucks Big Time. Especially in Palestine in July, with scarce food, no drinking water, carrying wood while being on the lookout for enemies, and then holding siege in front of a city who has only one side potentially vulnerable to attack

They fight, and fight well – and they also die. Which, fine, it’s a calculated risk. Waking up again is… very much not

(especially when one of the guys you brought down with you wakes up too, what the fuck)

Nicolò and Yusuf keep killing each other for a while, but the sounds coming from inside the walls become impossible to ignore, and they both go inside

Now, let’s be clear. Back in the day, and until the 16th century, unless a city capitulated on its own, when a siege ended it was kinda expected that pillaging would happen. Men of fighting age would be killed, and women and children would be made slaves, unless someone could ransom them. But nothing of the sort was happening in Jerusalem  

I said that dogs make great daemons for priests because they’re also obedient (and HDM Lore assigns dog daemons to servants for that same reason). Wolves may be strongly related to dogs, but they’re not dogs – tamed wolves can be trained to obey commands, but they will decide on their own whether to follow them

Nico’s daemon very much relies on those Critical Thinking Skills when they see what’s going on in Jerusalem. Remember, wolves are hardly the bloodthirsty creatures they’re described as. Senseless killing makes no sense for them

She looks at her human and, in no uncertain terms, she says: “No sin is so bad that only the blood of innocents can redeem it. You wanted to come because they told you my shape came from sin, and I obliged you; now that you’ve seen that it’s bullshit, can we leave this misery?”    

Nicolò, who’s barely holding up and has gone grey on the face (killing sucks, huh?), just nods and makes to turn around and go out – until he sees his enemy-that-won’t-die-either go in the opposite direction, trying to stop what he can of the carnage

Again, it’s his daemon that urges him to go get him. Not that Nico requires too much of an urge: one man alone, even undying, going against an army in full killing frenzy is pure idiocy, also it’s personal now, that guy is his adversary, thank you very much

(they beat each other up some more after Nico extracts Yusuf from Jerusalem, but outside, where no one can see them. When they’re exhausted, they walk away together. It’s not like they have any alternative. And the rest is history)

Re: Nico’s daemon name – in HDM it’s the child’s parents/guardians that name the daemon; I think that in Christian countries in the Middle Ages, most daemons would be named after an esteemed ancestor (if you were rich enough to have one) or a saint (the city’s patron, the saint of the day the baby was born, or someone the family has recently done an ex-voto to). It’s not that different from actual naming practices still in use today in some parts of Italy

Now, Genova has only male patron saints, with the exception of the Virgin Mary, which is ubiquitous and shouldn’t be counted. As a shout out to Luca Marinelli (whose birthday is the 22nd of October, fellow Libra my beloved) I looked up the day saints for the month of October (with prejudice, obviously. Most of the saints in the calendar are posterior to Nicky’s timeline)

This is how I stumbled on Santa Reparata of Caesarea (Palestine), day saint of the 8th October, whose cult started around the 9th century and rapidly spread through Europe. She is the patron saint of Nice, which in that time period belonged to the Duchy of Liguria in the Holy Roman Empire, and was allied with Genova

(Catch me creating the headcanon that Nicolò’s mother came from Nice and wanted to bestow the protection of her hometown’s patron saint on the child that was meant for the church)

(also, Caesarea of Palestine was conquered by Baldwin I in 1101 with the help of the Genoans, and the so-called Sacro Catino that now resides inside San Lorenzo in Genova was looted from there)

So yeah, I think Nicky’s daemon is called Reparata (it literally means the repaired, which considering Nicky’s history… it fits, imo) – think it’s a weird name? Welcome to the Middle Ages, people.

References (excluding the sources linked directly in the text; a couple of them are in Italian, sorry):

Alessandro Barbero (2009): Benedette Guerre: crociate e jihad. Collana Tascabili, Laterza;

Luigi Boitani (1995): “Ecological and cultural diversities in the evolution of wolf-human relationships”, in Ecology and conservation of wolves in a changing world. Carbyn, L. N., Fritts, S. H., and Seip, D. R. (Eds.). Edmonton: Canadian Circumpolar Institute, pages 3-12;

Franco Cardini (2011): “1097. Genova e la prima crociata”, in Gli Anni di Genova, Cardini F., Luzzatto S., Assereto G., Balard M., Felloni G., Pacini A., Bitossi C., Montale B., Gibelli A. (Eds.), Laterza;

Steven A. Epstein (1996): Genoa and the Genoese: 958 – 1528. University of Carolina Press.

[thatonequietkidinclasslmao]

The brothers and dateables with a child!reader

I wrote this in the morning in my friends house. Sorry if this HC ends up shitty lmao.

Lucifer:

-what

-WHAT 

-WHY in the name of Diavolo is there a CHILD here??

-He’ll be cold towards you at first. 

-But he warmed up to you and only to you when you came to him crying after a nightmare

-He’s 100000% dad material 

-He’ll be strict if you don’t finish your tasks, but will help if you need it

-buys you everything

-when you had to leave he was ACTUALLY crying

-mammon took a picture lets pray lucifer won’t find it 

Mammon:

-bro he actually hated you

-not only does he have to babysit watch over a human, but they’re a child too?!

-don’t worry, this thought would go away quickly because you two became super close like brother and sister

-you came crying to your “big brother” because some kids were bullying you

-when mammon heard this ahahaha

-big brother™ is activated 

-he kicked their asses and told them not to bother you

-when it was time for you to leave nooo he was so sad it was like taking goldie away from him 

-he hugged you and kissed your forehead before you left to go back home

Leviathan:

-again he didn’t like you at first 

-children are loud and annoying and he doesn’t need that

-he sort of shut himself in even more because of you

-UNTIL you knocked and asked if you could come in 

-great... 

-but what you said shocked him the most 

-”can we play video games together?”

-you guys started off with minecraft

-now after that you guys have weekly sleepovers and you play games and watch anime and of course the iconic tale of the 7 lords

-you guys got really close but when you left Levi shut him in, and saved whatever you’ve built in the video game. 

Satan:

-So this man

-he had mixed feelings

-he liked you but also didnt yk? 

-he helped you with your homework, and through that you guys became super close

-you two would mess with lucifer

-you two would play pranks on lucifer

-you two would tease lucifer

-you two would annoy lucifer

-poor lucifer

-you guys read together and he always tried to push you your max

-when you had to leave he wasn’t that sad

-you weren’t dead

-but he still was a bit disappointed because he would really miss you

Asmodeus:

-Ah now out of all of them he hated you the most 

-children are snobby, slobbery, snot sneezing, germ coughing, disgusting things 

-he avoided you at all costs until you unexpectedly came up to him and asked him to teach you how to put on makeup

-he didn’t want to ruin your skin so he ordered those kiddy makeup kits from amazon akuzon

-after that he invited you fore his spa days and skin care routines and you guys became best friends

-you went shopping together and he bought you clothes that other kids your age would dream to have

-like a unicorn tye-die

-no im just kidding

-after you left he still kept your kiddy makeup kit, in memory of you

Beelzebub:

-now he actually liked you 

-you guys became closer as you asked him for something to eat 

-but unsurprisingly there was nothing there so you two went to the store and brought food

-he thought of you as a little sister

-you guys were always together

-and you got piggyback rides uwu

-when you had to leave omg he was so sad :( 

-he kept eating more than he did

-he really loved you a lot

Belphegor:

-ah so there would be two routes for this one

*if he killed you

-guilty guilty guilty guilty

-how could he have killed a child?!

-he avoided you because he thought you were scared of him 

-but he was shocked when you slept right next to him and hugged him 

-he hugged you back and you both slept together

*if he didn’t kill you

-no he didn’t like you

-children were not his forte

-he just made sure he locked the door every time he would sleep so you won’t disturb him.

-poor you bby 

-you became close to belphie because of beel and after knowing you for a while he really liked you

-he remembered his times with Lilith when he was with you

-when you had to leave it pained his heart because he just got to know you and now you’re leaving 

Diavolo:

-another one who liked you 

-you two would have tea parties and for your sake he

-yes the prince and future king of the devildom

-wore a dress for you during your tea parties

-you guys would go roam the streets together

-he would hold your tiny hand so you wouldn’t get lost

-WILL spoil you 

-you want this? fine lets go take this to the register

-you want the whole store? one minute.

-he saw you as his own child

-when you had to leave he was really sad 

-like really really sad :( 

-plans on bringing you back because you were his tiny ray of sunshine in a dark, dark realm

Barbatos:

-he was like satan he liked and didn’t like you at the same time

-you guys got close when you asked him if you could bake cookies with him

-how could one say no to that smile of yours?

-you guys baked cookies and they tasted SO good 

-now i really want cookies

-you guys kept baking more and more sweets

-istg by the time you get back home you would be a master chef

-when you left for home he never thought much of it because he knew you would come back

-why am i not surprised he knew

-sneaky mf

Simeon:

-he adopted you

-change my mind 

-he adopted you and luke thats FINAL 

-you simeon and luke would bake and cook when it’s solomons turn for dinner

-sorry not sorry sol

-simeon was like a dad

-but unlike lucifer he taught kindness and compassion VERY MUCH like an angel

-when you all had to leave to return to your own realms, you made simeon and luke friendship bracelets

-simeon takes good care of it 

Solomon:

-He didn’t like you either

-im sorry they were programmed this way :(

-he warmed up after you asked him to help you with your potions homework

-then he started teaching you magic

-you became shady with him 

-in return for him teaching you magic, you teach him cooking 

-seriously solomon even a CHILD can cook better than you

-He wasn’t sad when you guys had to leave because you guys were in the same realm and thanks to magic, he could just appear wherever you are

Luke:

-you guys became best friends

-tell me otherwise

-you guys were in a world filled to the brim with demons, and your only hopes of surviving are eachother

-after a while of being friends, he started to develop a crush on you (REMINDER: you are a child in this HC too. pedophiles are absolutely disgusting)

-you two bake together a lot and you guys usually watch disney movies together

-when you had to leave it was so sad

-you gave him and simeon a friendship bracelet

-he still wears it to this day

A/n: I’m sorry this came out bad my friend is not a morning person so I had to do something so I just wrote this-

[obeiii-mee]

Could I request the brothers (and maybe Diavolo, if you're comfortable) reacting to a knightly/chivalrous m/c, please?

———————————————————

I haven’t written Diavolo in a hot minute, I’m glad he’s being requested again. I’m guessing you mean an MC with the attributes of a knight? The same sort of mannerisms and traits and not an actual knight! MC? Lemme know if I did this ask wrong because I was low key confused lmao.

———————————————————

The Brothers + Diavolo with a knightly/chivalrous MC:

Lucifer:

-He really didn’t like you upon first meeting

-He hated how he couldn’t intimidate you into not being a nuisance the way he could with most of his brothers

-But, to be honest, you had gained his respect rather early on

-I think, even though it may have annoyed him to no end, Lucifer was very fond of your bravery a lot of the times

-The way you would stand up for Mammon or that time you protected Beel and Luke from his outburst

-Courage is not a trait one would usually associate with humans, especially when more superior beings like demons are involved

-Your humility was also a characteristic of yours that he, surprisingly, was really fond of

-And your overall mercifulness was something to be congratulated as well

-I mean, him and his brothers put you through so much shit and for you to forgive and move on without an angry word at any of them kinda speaks on its own

-I think he understands, to an extent, the reason you’re so loyal to the people you care about too

-He has a certain devotion for Lord Diavolo and his brothers, more than he lets on

-To him, having someone like you around is something to be appreciated

-Because you are similar but also completely different and nothing like he deemed you to be at the beginning

-yo i think you remind him of himself back when he was angel tbh

-He’s sort of tired of saving your ass tho because you are very just, so you feel the need to help people all the time which leads to you getting involved in fights

-Bring him his 20th cup of coffee for the day please, it’s hard being a single father of 8 children (yes I’ve added Lord Diavolo he counts as one of the kids)

-He’s the definition of this incorrect quote I stumbled across a while back

- MC: “FIGHT ME RIGHT NOW!”

-Lucifer, from behind them “ Do not.”

Mammon:

-Ok so this random human comes to DevilDom and has the audacity to slap his hand away while he’s trying to steal from Diavolo’s castle????????

-“MC ya’re forgetting I’m a demon, my moral scale is wayyy different than yours-“

-“Put it back.”

-“......ok.”

-You’re coming at him with rightfulness and honor and your presence is gonna hit him like a truck

-Cuz he ain’t stealing anything when you’re around (lucifer uses this to his advantage ofc.)

-That was basically the only thing he disliked about you

-Other than that, after your first week in DevilDom, he thinks you’re a goddamn S A I N T

-Everytime you stand up for him when his brothers are being assholes-pls he melts into a puddle of goo from your perfection

-OOFFS AND ALL THOSE TIMES YOU GAVE HIM GIFTS BECAUSE GENEROSITY BBY

-Good thing he was wearing sunglasses, because holy fuck was he weeping under those Gucci shades

-He’s gonna give ya props for having the courage to stand up to him and his brothers

-Lucifer especially because big bro scary

-Think about it like this: literally every single one of them could have you seasoned and roasted for lunch, love

-And yet you still have the bravery to look them in the eye and tell them: “Ya’ll are dysfunctional as fuck and need family therapy.”

-Again, he doesn’t understand your morale, he’s the Avatar of Greed, if he sees something he likes or seems worthy of his presence, he takes it

-But with that look you’re giving him, he honestly feels so guilty he can’t help but put it back

-He also appreciates your patience with him when it comes to anything that involves him talking about his emotions and thought process

-Because at this point he is widely known as scum so-

-Ahhhh, in the end, he thinks you’re pretty badass for a human and would low key want to see you in an armour of sorts agajwhisebhwjwwhehgdhdh

-And he really likes it when you make the effort to open doors for him too but he’ll never have the nerve to admit it

Levi:

-Believe it or not, he warms up to you in less than a day...?

-It’s probably because he’s a navy commander and he’s used to having soldiers around and you sort of remind him of that

-Out of everyone, he reacts the least when he sees how you carry yourself because to him it’s second nature

-Even if he does tend to slouch most of the time

-Almost dropped to his knees and started worshiping you when you yelled at Mammon to give Levi his money back on your first day

-And then a friendship started to blossom (im not friendzoning y’all, relax)

-Levi has a tendency to just walk into your room with his laptop, point at the screen which is paused in the middle of an anime and go “Look, the protagonist is a knight. You’re also...really knightly. I like the protagonist. I, uh I like you too, I guess.”

-He loves how honest you are because he knows that no matter what you wouldn’t lie to him

-“MC, do you think I’m a yucky otaku?”

-“No.”

-“But-“

-“No.”

-“Oh ok.”

-But on the inside he’s like 🥰🥰💞💞💞💞

-I just think that a knightly MC would connect on an emotional level with Levi for a lot of reasons, idk

-He’s gonna be a sputtering mess when he realises how much effort you put into this relationship (platonic or romantic) and how loyal you are to it

-Like how you actually bother learning all of his stupid passwords because you are just as serious about them as he is

-He just crashed, give him a moment to reboot please

Satan:

-He takes a while to warm up to you because for some reason your overall demeanour reminded him of Lucifer lol

-He thought you might be just as stuck up as him

-It didn’t take him longer than a week or so to come to the sudden realisation that you are way more pleasant than his brother

-Like his daddy, you manage to earn his respect pretty quickly after that

-He just thought the way you handled everything that was thrown at you in DevilDom was very sophisticated but firm nonetheless, if that makes sense?

-Like, you weren’t itching to escalate fights or anything but your tone of voice could easily end a whole conversation if need be

-You were still a human of course, it would be real easy for some low rank demon to kidnap you or something

-But for some reason, your confidence seemed to intimidate a few of the weaker ones into leaving you alone

-Obviously, that didn’t mean you were completely safe or anything

-There were still others that could effortlessly overpower you

-Even so, Satan found it sort of reassuring that unlike some humans, you weren’t one to back down without a confrontation

-Don’t get me started on all those times you rebelled against Lucifer, because that’s what truly got him to get to know you better

-He found you pretty interesting and then that interest sort of evolved into actual fondness

-Another thing that caught his eye was that even though you have very strong feelings about justice and fairness, you are completely level headed most of the time

-And patience, while it’s something he can manage, is the one that he has been trying to control for centuries

-He learned a lot from you about behaviour, whether you intentionally taught it to him or not

-And if there is one thing Satan thinks highly of; it would be knowledge

-Therefore, from that point onward, your existence was so much more precious to him than your soul could ever be

Asmo:

-What can I say about our sweet Asmo?

-You could have the personality of a trashcan and he’d still love you

-You were so polite and honourable from the beginning to the point you managed to get the attention of the Avata of Lust himself????

-He thought you were pretty hot basically

-hoWEVER

-Your righteousness always sort of nagged him because he low-key believed Diavolo snuck in another angel into the program, I-

-And for some reason, your loyalty to everyone in general ticked him off immensely at the beginning

-Mainly because he recognised that’s one of the traits he lacks entirely and he came to the conclusion that he needs to revaluate himself on that one

-He is so desperate for your attention, he will tattle on his brothers just to get you to yell at them and then comfort him

-“MCCCCC, MAMMON STOLE MY NEWEST MAKE UP KIT AND IS ABOUT TO SELL IT ON AKUZON!”

-he is so petty istg

-Your nobility still catches him off guard every now and then

-Because you’ve been living with demons for so long and yet you’re still, theoretically speaking, pure?? get your head out of the gutter people

-He probably applauds you on the fact that you can even scare Lucifer on some occasions because imagine having a scarier death glare than the eldest prince of hell

-Asmo will personally buy you clothes that he thinks suit your “aesthetic” (wtf Asmo)

-Might’ve bought you a sword and then got shouted at by Lucifer because oops turns out it was cursed

-Again, supportive mom vibes

-“MC, do you know how stunning you look strutting around with that confidence of yours? Don’t get me started on your posTURE!”

-You pulled a chair for him once and he practically swooned lmao

Beel:

-He figures you’re really nice from the start

-Mostly because you kept running errands and opening doors for him even though he let it slip that he might lose control and eat you

-Like most brothers, he finds you comforting in a way

-Beel appreciates your honesty to him too because he can count on you to tell him when he’s doing something wrong

-And he sort of needs the validation that even though he blames himself for a lot of things that took place in the past, his brothers and you are more than ready to forgive him (even if they didn’t blame him to begin with)

-Rather than respect, Beel puts a lot of trust into you, which I would believe to be more intimate

-If it’s just the two of you hanging out, he has an easier time opening up about Lilith because he knows you would never judge him and respect his feelings enough to let him get it out of his system

-You always share your food with him and give him a bigger portion and he goes so soft-

-Like who allowed you to be this generous?

-Tbh, he thinks it’s sort of refreshing having someone like you around

-Beel has been surrounded by demons for millenniums now and he’s gotten used to their...uh ‘evilness’

-Ever since you got dropped off in DevilDom, you really stood out with your nobility and morals

-It was like a breath of fresh air in a way

-He may or may not believe you’re a good influence on his siblings-if you can even influence demons of all things

-I’m not saying he invites you to work out with him and give him honest criticism, but he definitely invites you to work out with him and give him honest criticism

Belphie:

-“Out of all the humans they could’ve chosen, they picked the most annoying one, oH MY FUCKING GO-I MEAN DAD-“

-You go up to the attic that one night after tricking Lucifer into vibing to some classical TSL tunes

-He spotted you and was immediately irritated

-Like, he KNEW you were going to be a pain in the ass just by judging your posture and how you carried yourself (very knightly)

-At the start, he’s even hesitant to lie to you because he had a suspicion you wouldn’t buy his bs

-(Spoiler alert: you didn’t but you went with it either way)

-It takes a while for you to forgive him when he literally fucking kills you because that was rude af but you got over it in time

-AFTER of the whole ‘Sorry-for-choking-you-can-we-be-friends-now’ incident, you still get on his nerves a lot but at this point, he believes that’s his punishment for being a murderous dickhead

-You don’t really piss him off tho, you just confuse him a lot

-Why are you so polite? You keep pulling chairs and opening doors for him??? Why are you treating him like royalty?? Stop it, he doesn’t want to be like Lord Diavolo (he def likes it when you do that)

-Pls stop dragging the poor man to breakfast, he just wants to sleep in-

-He doesn’t understand how you’re always one time for everything

-My dude tries to wake up 20 minutes early to get somewhere in time and he is still 2 hours late

-sTOP TRYING TO FORCE YOUR IDEALS ONTO HIM, HE’S A LITTLE SHIT WHO ENJOYS WATCHING PEOPLE SUFFER

-All the same, you’re a very forgiving person so he’s just grateful you don’t hate him or anything

-And in the end, it doesn’t really matter how much your chivalry and righteousness and all of that pisses him off every now and then

-Because he can’t deny the fact that you brought him and his brothers the peace they needed

-And he so loves it when you and Lucifer go head to head mhmm

Diavolo:

-This big tittied man right here takes a liking to you immediately

-A couple of days in DevilDom and he’s already inviting you for tea at his castle

-You managed to befriend the prince of hell faster than the demons you live with, huh

-He’s lonely ok? He loves having people over and having cozy chitchats

-Not to mention he thinks you’re such pleasant company!

-Most demons would be afraid to even say anything in his presence but you always speak your mind while continuing to be respectful and he’s so happy, you don’t understand-

-Only demons in close relations to Diavolo like Babrbatos and Lucifer actually know how much it takes for someone to anger him

-He doesn’t take offence to much lol

-And he’s really content that you acknowledged that

-He sometimes visits you in his spare time just to talk and hang out since Lucifer is a big meanie who doesn’t want to indulge him and Barbatos is busy making him dinner >:(

-SPEAKING OF- if you and Barbatos don’t bond then i don’t know what to tell you

-I mean, you would both have so many things in common (strong sense of loyalty, honesty, just in a way etc.)

-You’re his favourite guest to have over at the palace, sorry Luci you’ve been replaced

-He genuinely finds you interesting as well so please tell him stories from the human realm!! He’s dying to learn more!

-Diavolo notices you demeanour sort of gives off warrior vibes so-

-He really considered making you into a knight bc it’s Diavolo-what he says; goes

-“I know they’re human but they’ll be fine. Look how tough they are! They managed to survive a year with you and your brothers didn’t they?”

-“My Lord, that doesn’t amount to anything, please don’t get our human killed-“

[sillyygeese]

sjsjbsjsbbh literally istg ‼️

like what do those mfs need this info for???? so they can recruit you into their top secret intergalactic defense program???? so they know whether you can outrun a bunch of probably nonexistent aliens??? hard PASS

15 laps is rly good actually i would be proud if i were you

and I WISH I COULD 😭😭😭

ok so

guess what

:0 what