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[citrusreadstoa]

That’s true that it was from Trophonius, but I imagine the other prophecies he gives out aren’t all called The Dark Prophecy(TM). Although, they probably haven’t had any other prophecies from him in recent memory, so you’re right

his father was the god of sun/light. rebel emo child moment)

Lmao that’s so true actually

Reading The Dark Prophecy: Chapter 40 (SPOILERS)

"Shakespeare, don't bring that / Iambic pentameter" Either the Dodona screaming arrow starts spouting poetry or Meg does. Is the ultimate goal of this series to teach kids poetry?

"'A little warning, perhaps?' Jamie called." Yeah, the greatest danger a person falling out of a window poses is to the people below they may crush. How high up is it, anyway?

"We didn't see him." Oh, so he did fall into the void. Wtf?

"He Lityerses-ly flew out the window." Leo, you pull a muscle from that stretch? A for effort, though. I'll cut him some slack for the hostage situation he was just in.

"The two bumped fists as if they hadn't just spent the last few days talking about how much they wanted to kill each other. They would have made fine Olympian gods." Omg that's literally my family! We'd make great Olympian gods!

"[Thalia's] new gray highlights from my solar blast looked quite fetching." Did anyone else get gray highlights? Do Hunters' hair grow out? And again, skin cancer?

"We're going to need a bigger notepad." Why? Is iambic pentameter usually long?

"must the Lester go;" I'm fucking sorry? That caught me so off guard. I didn't expect his name to be so bluntly stated in the prophecy.

"Apollo starts to jive." Does jive mean something different here than I'm used to? I thought it meant to be on the same page as someone. JIVE (v.): 1. perform the jive or a similar dance to popular music 2. (Informal, US) taunt or sneer at 3. (Informal, US) talk nonsense

"But a full Shakespearean sonnet, complete with ABAB rhyme scheme, ending couplet, and iambic pentameter?" Oh, the horror! Not the couplets! These prophecies and chapterly haikus are slowly convincing me this whole series was an excuse for Rick Riordan to stretch his poetry-writing muscles.

"We will parse our doom later" PARSE (v.): analyze (a sentence) into its parts and describe their syntactic roles / examine or analyze minutely

"It kept me from thinking too much about the lines of the Dark Prophecy." Ay, he said the thing!

"I redesigned him so he's like a Lego kit, built for quick assembly!" Thank-freaking-goodness! He knows Festus is gonna get crunched, so he plans ahead!

"dissolving them into light. Could a quasi-deity such as Commodus do something like that to himself?" We haven't seen much of any of the Triumvirate's godly powers yet. This could be one. I'd be surprised if he died so easily. Anyway, important thing is that the triple-threat battle is still possible!

Hey, wait, why aren't Hades, Persephone, or Thanatos on the Triumvirate's case yet? They're escaped souls! I know we've established that souls escape all the time, but this should be pretty high on the ghost-wrangling list!

"Their bodies desiccate when their spirits pass on" DESICCATE (v.): remove the moisture from (something); cause to become completely dry "Heloise's body crumbled to dust." Okay, so it was just holding together for the funeral. Maybe that means she'll regenerate eventually? Let me cling onto that hope.

"Made this for you. You can take it with you when you go away." Noooo I just know they're gonna pull at our heartstrings with this little doll later down the line.

"if you ever want to talk--" "No, I'm good." Mood.

"Yet I could no longer feel annoyed with her for giving up my gift of divinity." Yeahhhhhh he's understanding

"hide his bald pate." Probably means head or scalp. PATE (n.): a person's head

"What of the Dark Prophecy?" Did everyone just unanimously agree to call it the Dark Prophecy? Do they all just hate it because it's too long?

[citrusreadstoa]

Yep this is a Minecraft reference

Reading The Dark Prophecy: Chapter 37 (SPOILERS)

I just reread the last sentence of chapter 36, "At last, things were looking up!" and I immediately know that this chapter is going to be a hot disaster.

"Your favorite fruit? / I hope you didn't say grapes / Or apples, or figs" I also immediately know that this chapter is going to heavily feature Peaches.

"one last vile curse like, Oh, gosh darn it." Ashamed to say that this would be me.

"whanged against the hulls of the barges" WHANG (v.): make or produce a resonant noise Gotta get my mind out of the gutter. Of course it doesn't mean what you'd first think it means. Wait, they have room for barges down there? Aren't those boats kind of big to fit in a cave? I didn't think they updated to 1.18 already.

"Oh my gods! Look over there!" Yeah, my brain would work about as effectively if I were in the same situation. "so they executed a full one-hundred-and-eighty-degree waddle." Oh yeah, that's actually exponentially more effective on blemmyae. I wonder if anyone else has tried that on them before.

"I was fairly sure I hadn't caused the ceiling to crack and collapse." Peaches! "Blind luck?" Peaches! "Or perhaps the spirit of Trophonius had granted me one last grudging favor for destroying his cave." No, Peaches!

"'Hmm?' I asked. 'What friend?'" Gaslight Gatekeep Girlboss

"crushing my ulna and radius together." The definitions are too long, so to summarize: These are the two bones in your forearm. The ULNA is thinner and longer and on the opposite side as your thumb. The RADIUS is thicker and shorter and on the same side as your thumb.

"More likely, though, they were already in the area" "They"? Peaches is a "he," right? "Three karpoi" Oh, our dear Peaches brought friends. What are they, Apples and Figs? "three peach spirits" Oh no, they're all peaches. What do we refer to them as now? They're all Peaches!

Peaches ex machina

"I'm Apollo." "Peaches pointed to his friend on the right. 'Peaches.' Then to the baby demon on his left. 'Peaches.'" That's what I frickin' thought.

"I realized I wasn't going to be driving anywhere." Why not? Humans drive one-handed all the time. Apollo especially, being such a prolific driver of the sun chariot every day, should be able to drive one-handed easily. "Then I passed out." Okay, now he's not going to be driving anywhere.

[citrusreadstoa]

Reading The Burning Maze: Chapter 2 (SPOILERS)

"What do you mean 'you need to kill us'?" Grover can talk to them? And does that mean the strixes need to kill the questing party or the questing party needs to kill the strixes? "Because it was just yelling scree!" LMAO it was just screeching for the sake of screeching

"it's a direct command from the emperor." Why do I feel like the strixes would have done exactly the same had they not been commanded to do this? "The strix just calls him Scree." Omg I want to pet it.

"I didn't kill it. It committed suicide against that wall." Meg! I'm- I'm pretty sure you killed it. "I don't think the Fates will see it that way." LMAO "Then let's not tell them." Meg, you sweetheart.

"STRIXES ART DANGEROUS." FREAKING FANTASTIC INFORMATION "CURSES THE SLAYER AND CAUSETH MORE STRIXES TO APPEARETH." Is that the worst the curse gets? 'Cause it just sounds like a hydra bird. Thought the curses would be worse.

"THE BIRDS MAY BE REPELLED WITH PIG ENTRAILS." I think most anything would be repelled with pig entrails. I certainly would be repelled with pig entrails.

"Peaches didn't do well underground." Smart little peach. Don't get involved in the Labyrinth.

[citrusreadstoa]

Reading The Burning Maze: Chapter 1 (SPOILERS)

"To Melpomene, the Muse of Tragedy / I hope you're pleased with yourself" Melpomene is laughing in the distance. She's very pleased.

"NO. I refuse to share this part of my story." Oki doki. *closes book* We're done for the day. Jkjkjk he's just embarassed.

"In these pages, only suffering awaits." I love suffering! Gimme more!

"across pits of darkness and around lakes of poison" We were lied to. The Labyrinth is not any less malicious than before. Does this sound like a tamer Labyrinth to you?

"Except that our cloven guide, the satyr Grover Underwood, did not seem to know the way." You think the satyr that is terrified of the underground knows his way around the underground? Y'all delusional. You want a Labyrinth guide, get Rachel. I'm assuming Grover will be of more help later on if and when they go into the Labyrinth again.

"The bumps of his horns were clearly visible beneath the hat." What happened to the rasta cap? I guess everyone needs a change of pace now and then.

"Like... cacti." Like saguaro cacti?! Like the cacti the Erymanthian Boar ate when it dropped the questing party off at the junkyard of the gods?! The lands of scorching death line is killing me, man.

"I just didn't think we'd be wandering around down here for two days." How can you be sure it's been two days? Percabeth got stuck in the Labyrinth for a couple minutes and a full hour passed outside. Please tell me you've been keeping track whenever you poke out into the regular world.

"Perhaps I was too brusque," BRUSQUE (adj.): abrupt or offhand in speech or manner

"And plenty of our own fires." . . . "Best not to talk about it... here." Grover! If we're all gonna die, we need to know so we can make the best of our last days on this Earth! Are the walls listening or something? Don't you dare tell me yet another shoulda-been-dead person is controlling this damn maze again.

"His expression turned wistful," Idk about you, but I would not be wistful about almost dying in a living maze where no one but the walls will hear me scream.

"perhaps coffee and lemon-maple cronuts" CRONUT (n.): (paraphrasing Wikipedia) Invented and trademarked in 2013 by French pastry chef Dominique Ansel, the Cronut is a doughnut-like pastry made from croissant-like dough, filled with flavored cream, and fried in grapeseed oil.

"I wanted to believe my powers were simply recharging." Storybook characters never catch the cold. Fantasy characters' powers are never "just recharging."

"I couldn't even remember the taste of ambrosia, or the names of my sun-chariot horses, or the face of my twin sister, Artemis." That is incredibly concerning. We're talking about something he ate every day, horses he saw and drove every day, and his twin sister with whom he grew up and spent time with -- all three of these every day for thousands of years. His memory deteriorates along with his powers? It's this bad?!

"across the corridor in front of us roared a sheet of yellow fire," Eyyy, cover art!

"But we've wandered into his part of the maze." The Triumvirate's part. The part that belongs to the third emperor. "SCREEE!" The cry of a giant fire-breathing basilisk, I bet. Or a giant fire-breathing cockroach. Serpents and roaches?

"Some sort of avian creature." Giant flying fire-breathing basilisks! Oh wait, the owls. Right. Owls on the cover.

"Grover whipped out his panpipe . . . Meg knelt before the seeds" Super Gardening Bros! Wahoo!

"using its thick black tongue" Do owls have tongues that long? "My sight grew fuzzy. My knees turned to rubber." Does it sap his energy by drinking his blood?

"Strix" That word means nothing to me. I know jack diddly squat about strixes. "Well, killing it could be a problem." Can never kill monsters these day. All endangered species this and invulnerable hide that. Back in my day, you just sliced its head off and that was that.

"giggle nectar" I'm sorry? You tellin' me that the divine equivalent of anesthesia is officially, professionally, and canonically called giggle nectar?

"K-killing the bird will curse you" So it's an arai-lite.

[citrusreadstoa]

The Burning Maze Predictions (TOA SPOILERS)

The third and fourth books are always the best. Were with PJO and HOO, will be with TOA. It looks like we'll be starting off with the trio of Apollo, Meg, and Grover. Y'all have no idea how excited I am to see Grover again after his absence from a whole series. And he won't be there just for the start, either. He's on the cover, so he'll be present throughout most of the book!

Speaking of the cover, that does look like the Labyrinth, all right: mishmash of modern and ancient architecture. The maze is surely going to be the main battleground, not just a way to get to the west coast as quickly as possible. I, uh, see a lot of owls. Did someone slight Athena? They're someone else's owls, probably, though I can't imagine who. It looks like Meg has saved them with her vines. There's fire in front of them but that can't be Festus' because he's too big for these hallways. It doesn't seem like Leo's, either, because I can see the faintest glimpse of an upper and lower jaw -- definitely a monster.

Now, predictions from the prophecy. (Fourteen lines, gahhhh.......... *head in hands, shaking* Who decided... why....) Changeling lord. Frank. Best title 10/10. He might even save the camp since the prophecy says he faces a challenge dire and bodies are filling the Tiber. Also, there are two Sybils, apparently. Ffs... Rhea, Rhea Silvia... Sybil of Cumae, Sybil of Erythraea... They're not gonna kill off Ella, obviously. They wouldn't do that. I think I saw Reyna on the cover of the fourth book, so she may also play a support role in this one and then step into the spotlight for the book after.

The lands of scorching death are southward... Guess what's to the south of Cali? Arizona. Guess what's in Arizona? The junkyard of the gods where Bianca died. Goodness gravy, I'm perpetually on edge about that line.

However, on a brighter note and in a different direction, westward might be where we find Zephyros. Apollo and the west wind have made amends so he may be willing to help out our questers. Speaking of questers, the "When three are known" line has me extremely anxious. When what three are known? And what number do we start with? Is it three Oracles and we've already got two in the bag so this is number three? Or is it three questers? That's the interpretation that scares me the most. If we start with two questers, then it's fine if we pick up someone on the way. If we start with four or five questers, that means our party is going to get trimmed like in The Titan's Curse. The Dark Prophecy doesn't say who or how many have to reach the Tiber alive, after all.

Wait wait wait. Does this Dark Prophecy span more than one book? Two Oracles (both Sybils) are mentioned in it. We only have five Oracles, so unless there's a secret sixth one (please tell me there's a secret sixth one, that would be so metal), we're missing an Oracle for the fourth book. We took care of the Grove of Dodona in book one, the Cave of Trophonius in book two, we're gearing toward both Sybil of Cumae and Sybil of Erythraea in book three, and Pythia of Delphi is obviously to be left for book five. What about book four? What Oracle are we going to commandeer/destroy in The Tyrant's Tomb?

This felt less like predictions and more like ~5 paragraphs of questions and confusion because it sound like so much is going to be going on. Anyway, that's that. Time to actually read the book.

P.S. There are totally six Oracles. 110%

[citrusreadstoa]

The Dark Prophecy Conclusions (SPOILERS)

So, how did my predictions do?

The trio did fly to Indiana without any catastrophic problems. Festus didn't crash land, but the mainland US really must be cursed for him because he somehow still got dismembered. We haven't made it to the west coast yet, though. There was not a battle involving ripe bananas -- to the best of my memory, bananas were not involved at all, so that must have to do with the other books.

Apollo and Meg did not have any horrible caving accidents; they went insane some other way instead. How lovely. He did almost drown trying to get Meg out of the cave, though. The other predictions based on the prophecy from Dodona (Python, insects, Sybilline pages) haven't come true yet, either. It was not Festus who swallowed death and madness, but Apollo and Meg who did. Can you blame me for the phrasing of the prophecy, really? It did literally say "A bronze fire-eater / Was forced death and madness to swallow" Now I know that last line was not referring to the bronze fire-eater (I suppose that line was tied to the three-seater line before it) but instead to Apollo from the first line.

Anyway, they did find Meg and she rejoined the questing pair. From the fanfics I've read, I was under the assumption that the Waystation was the name of the auto repair shop Leo and Calypso set up, but I was wrong. It would've been odd for them to set up a shop when they have so few resources.

Overall, I made about eleven predictions at the start and three of them were correct. That is, two correct predictions (fly to Indiana, Meg is found and rejoins them) and two half-points for half-correct predictions (Apollo almost drowns in the Cave of Trophonius, mainland US is bad for Festus bc he always gets dismembered). So, 3/11. Worse than I thought!

[citrusreadstoa]

Reading The Dark Prophecy: Chapter 42 (SPOILERS)

"But I only forgive each person once a millennium, so don't mess up for the next thousand years." This might be the first time I've seen a god use the understanding they've obtained over their vastly long lifespans and actually apply it to helping mortals redeem themselves. Good going.

"I saw a flicker of ghostly orange light." BRIEANNA! Ok, good, so he just peaced out for the battle. Understandable. Didn't think a ghost would be much help in a physical fight.

"I will petition Hades to let your soul pass on to Elysium." Is there something blocking him from passing on to any of the Underworld's fields? What keeps him in the overworld? It can't be his brother since the cave collapsed and he's still here. "I WILL GO WHERE I MUST. I WILL FIND TROPHONIUS." So it is because of his brother. Can Apollo petition Hades to let them both pass on to Elysium? Trophonius may not be a great person, but the word of a god would hold much sway in his favor.

"Agamethus dissolved into motes in the sunlight." MOTE (n.): a tiny piece of a substance So, dust.

"The soil rumbled and began to heave upward." The plant network! Grover traveled through this in The Last Olympian!

"I feared a new karpos might burst forth with glowing red eyes and a vocabulary that consisted entirely of Tomatoes!" Valid concern, but we're not here to collect the whole deck of karpoi.

"Enchiladas del Rey." I did not know Lana del Rey had an enchilada food chain.

"And you, my lucky friend, have been summoned to lead us through the Labyrinth." Grover, run. Do not look back. Do not involve yourself with these hooligans. You probably don't need much persuading, but I'm warning anyway.

So, is Grover like the series' token satyr character? 'Cause we never meet any new satyrs. We got Coach Hedge playing a very minor part in the Heroes of Olympus series, but it seems like Rick Riordan wrote Grover into existence and went, "Yep, that's good enough." Please, I wanted a developed faun character. Let's meet someone new, shall we? It would be great if we had a faun helping Apollo on his quest and for the success of that quest to lead to real positive change for New Rome's faun community. Please, I love Grover, but it's like he's the only satyr we ever see.

[citrusreadstoa]

Reading The Dark Prophecy: Chapter 41 (SPOILERS)

"If anyone sees a bronze spleen about yea big, please let me know!" I don't know what a bronze spleen looks like. I don't even know what a regular spleen looks like. Just looked it up. Looks like a blob. Could not tell it apart from any other blob-shaped organ if you held a crossbow to my head.

"I haven't seen Agamethus since before the battle." NOOOO Brieanna's gone! One can only hope he returned to the Underworld.

"But the next new moon is in only five nights" FUCK. THIS. SHIT. They can hardly make it across the country in five days, let alone stop another mini-pocalypse. Is a plane an option? Will it even make enough of a difference with a time frame this short?

"The changeling lord... that's gotta be my homeboy Frank Zhang." So I made a good choice not systematically going through every search result for "Greek mythology shapeshifter." Nothing would have made me guess Frank Zhang. Man, he and Nico are getting the coolest epithets in prophecies. Nico gets "the ghost king" and "the angel who holds the key to endless death" and now Frank gets "the changeling lord." The freaking CHANGELING LORD. What? I'm not jealous.

"Ella the harpy" OH. Oh, the Sybilline books. Well, now the progress they've made is definitely going to be burned. Our only hope is that they can hastily make a decoy that gets burned instead. Either way, as long as Ella is still alive, it'll be fine.

"We have to find the Teumessian Fox." What is this fox and why is it so important. "I was tempted to ask Meg to order me to slap myself, just to make sure I wasn't stuck in a nightmare." What is this fox and what makes it so nightmarish. And why can't Apollo just slap himself without being ordered to?

"how many cities the Teumessian Fox had leveled in ancient times" So I should imagine a fox the size of Meilin Lee's mom's red panda in Turning Red?

"That's copacetic . . . You've done enough for us, T." COPACETIC (adj.): in excellent order Thank you, Leo, for respecting Thalia and the Hunters' time and aid.

"Yeah, but with three passengers" Yeah, but even with two passengers less or no passengers at all, even with no monster attacks, that's not gonna cut six weeks into five days, especially with three times the distance to cover.

"I'll just enroll late for the spring semester!" Um, Leo, you're gonna throw your girlfriend into mortal high school without anyone to help her adjust? I don't see this playing out well.

"I believe that refers to the Erythraean Sybil, another ancient Oracle." Different from the Sybil who wrote the Sybilline books? Oh no, we have another Rhea and Rhea Silvia. I hate when this happens. So we're gonna get a crossword prophecy. Now, that I'm looking forward to.

"I'll find us one." Does Meg have connections with some nature spirits?

"Who wants carrot cake with blowtorched meringue for dessert?" Me! I do!

"We'll ride them for a while, recondition them, then find a safe place to release them where they can live in peace." I'm glad we got the ostrich closure.

"ah... the competition." Lmao the competition

"Exactly. Different manifestations of the same truth." Right. So the truth being that the sun rises in the east, travels across the sky creating daytime, and sets in the west to make way for night. Each culture arrives at that truth in a different way, but the end result is the same: Sun rises, makes daytime, Sun sets.

"When you're out west, if you get to L.A., my brother Jason is there." . . . "I will check on them . . . And send your love." Oh, Thalia. Sweet Thalia. Oh, no.

"Oh, how I missed my sister. 'Give her my best.'" Please let this man see his sister. This is just cruel now.

"Happy foxhunting." Yeah, is this fox going to show up in the coming books? I want to see it bulldoze a town.

"heading west as if chasing the crescent moon." That's an epic exit. I bet Apollo wishes he could chase the crescent moon with them to go see his sister. Please let this man see his sister. Petition, anyone?

[citrusreadstoa]

Reading the Dark Prophecy: Prophecy Analysis (SPOILERS)

The prophecy was too darn long it needed its own post. I was warned there would be a fourteen-line prophecy at some point in the series, but wow. I expected the lines to be short if there were so many of them, but the lines were longer than usual??? On the bright side, I'm suddenly a lot more familiar with iambic pentameter than I was before.

Okay, so, first line. Some important parchment is gonna be burned. Or somebody is just going to be burned, full stop. Maybe Apollo is made to forget something important. I dunno.

Second line. Moon. Artemis finally makes her appearance. Dunno where Devil's Mount is, but later lines mention the Tiber, so things will probably center around Camp Jupiter, so probably in California or surrounding states (Who's to say they won't travel a bit?).

The changeling lord doesn't sound like he belongs in Greek or Roman mythology, imma be honest. Then again, Apollo has encountered beings from other mythologies. The first Google search result for Greek shapeshifters gives me Proteus, that old man of the sea that Percy wrestled in the first series (Was it The Titan's Curse?). He doesn't seem very lordly, but then again, Phineas didn't seem very kingly when the SoN trio met him. I could search for more shapeshifters that better fit the bill, but I'm not about to waste half an hour on an answer that I'll get wrong anyway lol. Also, the prophecy makes it sound like the Lord Changeling is on our side, so maybe it is Proteus after all. He keeps to himself, sure, but he's not actively evil and that's about as much as we can hope for.

Line four. There's going to be a battle at Camp Jupiter, no doubt about it. It doesn't necessarily say the bodies will be those of the demigods, but monsters disintegrate, soooo... it's not looking good.

Fifth line, going into the second stanza. The sun is obviously Apollo. The enemy's base (where the third Triumvirate member lies) is south of Camp Jupiter. Easy peasy.

Sixth line, and the next book is The Burning Maze, right? Hope so, otherwise that's kind of weird that the maze is appearing a book early. It's probably a particularly deadly section of the Labyrinth. The Hidden Oracle established that the Labyrinth, now free of any singular master, can be controlled in small sections. Camp Half-Blood has a relatively secure section that they use for -- of all things -- three-legged races. Who's to say the Triumvirate hasn't secured their own section of hallways and rooms and made it especially deadly? Actually, the camp's and the Triumvirate's sections of the maze are probably just as deadly considering what Harley's been up to. As for the lands of scorching death: the last desert we went to we ended up losing Bianca in. Let's not repeat that.

Seventh line! I don't know who the swift white horse is (Arion is swift but caramel-ish) and I don't know who owns or rides it. Wow, I deserve a pat on the back. Great work there.

Eighth line. The crossword-speaker sounds like a really fucked-up sphinx. Don't know why you'd need a sphinx's breath, though. That's my best guess, but I don't have much faith in it. I'm really earning that pat, huh.

Ninth line, starting the third stanza. We've met the north wind, Boreas. We've met the south wind, Notus. We haven't met the east wind, but we have met the west wind, Zephyros/Favonius. He works for Cupid, sure, but he probably has a home of his own. I'm betting that's where we're going, especially since he and Apollo have history.

Tenth line. Apollo said in the first book that Demeter doesn't just sleep around. It takes a remarkable mortal to get her attention. Here we may learn more about Meg's backstory and her father. Maybe her family lineage is entangled with Greek mythology going way back, kinda like Reyna's and Frank's families.

Line number eleven. The cloven guide can be none other than a satyr. Or maybe a faun since we're with the Romans. Wasn't it mentioned in The Hidden Oracle that Grover was in Cali doing some environmental thing? I hope it's not Grover 'cause he already did his time in the Labyrinth, but it'd be nice to see him again before The Chalice of the Gods comes out. What I'm really hoping to see, though, is one of the New Roman fauns (Maybe Don!) stepping up and learning what they're capable of rather than just being relegated to a perpetually homeless and destitute caste on the streets. It hurts my heart to see them like that and maybe this is the first (albeit risky and possibly deadly) step forward.

Twelfth frickin' line and I'm wondering what the point of such a long prophecy was. It better be a good book with a poem this long. The third and fourth books in the Riordanverse are usually the best, so it should be, right? Anyway, I bet this line is very, very literal. It's going to sound metaphorical on purpose, but in reality he's just gotta wear some funky shoes.

*gasps for breath* Thirteenth line! Almost there! We may vary with the number of questers, but there will be three at the finale, this tells us. Why do they have to reach the Tiber alive? Isn't the first thing you cross upon getting to camp? This one stumps me unless... no... well, it's the Labyrinth. It's not out of the question that they'll have to go to the actual Tiber. Maybe. I'm stuck 50/50 on this one.

Last line! Number fourteen! Apollo does a jolly little dance! Bet it's to somehow find a way out of a dire situation he's dug himself into.

That was... far too long to be a respectable prophecy. I spit on your grave, Trophonius. Really fun prophecy, though. Even more so than the limerick one. We should get Shakespearean sonnet prophecies more often.

[citrusreadstoa]

Reading The Dark Prophecy: Chapter 40 (SPOILERS)

"Shakespeare, don't bring that / Iambic pentameter" Either the Dodona screaming arrow starts spouting poetry or Meg does. Is the ultimate goal of this series to teach kids poetry?

"'A little warning, perhaps?' Jamie called." Yeah, the greatest danger a person falling out of a window poses is to the people below they may crush. How high up is it, anyway?

"We didn't see him." Oh, so he did fall into the void. Wtf?

"He Lityerses-ly flew out the window." Leo, you pull a muscle from that stretch? A for effort, though. I'll cut him some slack for the hostage situation he was just in.

"The two bumped fists as if they hadn't just spent the last few days talking about how much they wanted to kill each other. They would have made fine Olympian gods." Omg that's literally my family! We'd make great Olympian gods!

"[Thalia's] new gray highlights from my solar blast looked quite fetching." Did anyone else get gray highlights? Do Hunters' hair grow out? And again, skin cancer?

"We're going to need a bigger notepad." Why? Is iambic pentameter usually long?

"must the Lester go;" I'm fucking sorry? That caught me so off guard. I didn't expect his name to be so bluntly stated in the prophecy.

"Apollo starts to jive." Does jive mean something different here than I'm used to? I thought it meant to be on the same page as someone. JIVE (v.): 1. perform the jive or a similar dance to popular music 2. (Informal, US) taunt or sneer at 3. (Informal, US) talk nonsense

"But a full Shakespearean sonnet, complete with ABAB rhyme scheme, ending couplet, and iambic pentameter?" Oh, the horror! Not the couplets! These prophecies and chapterly haikus are slowly convincing me this whole series was an excuse for Rick Riordan to stretch his poetry-writing muscles.

"We will parse our doom later" PARSE (v.): analyze (a sentence) into its parts and describe their syntactic roles / examine or analyze minutely

"It kept me from thinking too much about the lines of the Dark Prophecy." Ay, he said the thing!

"I redesigned him so he's like a Lego kit, built for quick assembly!" Thank-freaking-goodness! He knows Festus is gonna get crunched, so he plans ahead!

"dissolving them into light. Could a quasi-deity such as Commodus do something like that to himself?" We haven't seen much of any of the Triumvirate's godly powers yet. This could be one. I'd be surprised if he died so easily. Anyway, important thing is that the triple-threat battle is still possible!

Hey, wait, why aren't Hades, Persephone, or Thanatos on the Triumvirate's case yet? They're escaped souls! I know we've established that souls escape all the time, but this should be pretty high on the ghost-wrangling list!

"Their bodies desiccate when their spirits pass on" DESICCATE (v.): remove the moisture from (something); cause to become completely dry "Heloise's body crumbled to dust." Okay, so it was just holding together for the funeral. Maybe that means she'll regenerate eventually? Let me cling onto that hope.

"Made this for you. You can take it with you when you go away." Noooo I just know they're gonna pull at our heartstrings with this little doll later down the line.

"if you ever want to talk--" "No, I'm good." Mood.

"Yet I could no longer feel annoyed with her for giving up my gift of divinity." Yeahhhhhh he's understanding

"hide his bald pate." Probably means head or scalp. PATE (n.): a person's head

"What of the Dark Prophecy?" Did everyone just unanimously agree to call it the Dark Prophecy? Do they all just hate it because it's too long?

[citrusreadstoa]

Reading The Dark Prophecy: Chapter 39 (SPOILERS)

"No flash photography, please / Oops. My bad. Ha-ha" Is that... a common accident during battles?

"Say the word . . . and I will bore a hole between this moron emperor's eyes." I feel like it's not gonna be that easy. It probably took a ton of effort just to get that one scratch on his face because that's how boss battles are.

"Only the word CORN was still visible." Ooh, that's a bad omen. Remember what happened with Triptolemus?

"You summoned a spirit?" . . . "A small one." Ey! But if having an invisible wind spirit ally wasn't enough to do more damage, I'm concerned.

"We are not going to make say hello to my little friend a thing." Even now, in the most dire of circumstances... "Leo . . . a seven-foot-tall barbarian is holding a crossbow against the side of your head." . . . "It's all part of the plan!" PLSSSSSS HE'S ABOUT TO DIE They are all about to die and these two are having this exchange, someone please give these two a higher sense of self-preservation

"Albatrix, if the demigod speaks again, you have my permission to shoot him." 1) Albatrix, nice name. 2) Yeah, that's about what I expected to come of Leo and Apollo's exchange. 3) Unfortunately, I doubt Leo is going to keep his mouth shut for long, if at all.

"Are you telling me . . . that your great army surrounded this place, invaded, and couldn't even find a chair?" Apollo, careful. You're going to end up with a crossbow to your head, too. Bet the Waystation is hiding it in some hidden room. Hypothetically, it could just block a room off with no doors or staircases or hallways leading to it. It could just Cask-of-Amontillado that thing and no one would ever find it again.

But also, coulda just scouted the place. Impatience leads you to your doom.

"But most of my forces are merely lost . . . They'll be back." Like the Terminator. Anyway, don't tell me we have another Thanatos-Doors-of-Death dealio again. "about half his monstrous troops fell into a giant chute marked LAUNDRY." LMAO NEVER MIND The Waystation is the deadliest opponent on this battlefield. "The rest fell into the furnace room. Nobody ever comes back from the furnace room." Now, they're dead. Bet Leo could come back from the furnace room, though. Probably find a lot of bones there. "And his mercenaries . . . wound up at the Indiana Convention Center." You know, there's probably an entrance to the Labyrinth somewhere in this Waystation.

"Blood dripped down" SO IT IS BLOOD! They're not at ichor stage yet, assuming there are stages to becoming a god.

"This is the only deal. You will let your hostages go. You will leave here empty-handed and never return." Confidence is nice, but Apollo has one (1) ukulele and idk how Marcus Aurelius' quote is going to help them win the stand-off.

"I want you to avert your eyes. I am about to reveal my true godly form." Is he trying to get the Germani holding the hostages to close their eyes so they won't react as fast when he attacks them or Commodus? That's risky, but better than no plan at all.

"which of his deepest fears that bee swarm might feed on." The bees! Not the bees! Anything but the bees!

"Commodus and his men could have looked away. They didn't." Well, there goes that plan. "My body superheated" Uhh. "Then the screaming began." They didn't die? I guess monsters and almost-gods are more resilient against it. Could also be that Apollo's operating at, like, half a percent of his normal power. All I know is they're holding up a lot better than Jason did.

"silhouettes were burned across the tile floor . . . Their clothes had also lightened by several shades." This is... a lot like what nuclear bombs do, isn't it? Conclusion: Apollo can sometimes be radioactive. Stay away from that guy.

"my skin was now the color of maple bark." That's kind of brownish, medium grayish, sort of ashen. "I thought I looked quite nice this way" You think you look nice looking like someone diluted the paint before coloring you in? I'm glad your self-image has improved.

"horrible skin cancers I'd just given myself." Oh no, wait, he can irradiate himself with that move? "an antique flashbulb." We have bigger problems. Rick Riordan calls light bulbs flashbulbs.

"Alright, guys. This has been fun, but I'm gonna melt his face now, 'kay?" I love how casually he just says that.

"I was a second father to you. I gave you purpose!" "A second father even worse than the first" Yeah, Lit has not had good experiences with fathers. That was the wrong card to pull.

"and tumbled into the void." Wait, the void? I thought this was a window? Did the Waystation change where the window leads? Did he fall into the furnace room?

Okay, so final face-off presumably over. Kinda disappointed that this means we won't get all three of the Triumviratees together in the final book. I guess they're not all fighters so it wouldn't have worked out anyway, but that's still a let-down. On the bright side (lol this was a very bright chapter), this was a satisfying conclusion aside from the above.

Do all the people in the room have skin cancer now?

[citrusreadstoa]

Reading The Dark Prophecy: Chapter 38 (SPOILERS)

"Don't ask me how three karpoi combined forces to drive an automobile." They can just... meld together into one bigger karpoi, I'm assuming. That's what usually happens when creatures are made of inanimate objects like fruit in popular media. They basically just do the trench coat thing.

"A gas leak. Leo Valdez had been right again." I mean, cave fumes... I can see that becoming a legitimate danger. But also, the cave-in excuse it literally right there.

"That was bee pollen thinking!" New idiom acquired

"if a ragged street person wanted to stumble toward a gas leak emergency" Oh, never mind. The gas leak excuse is for the Waystation, not the cave.

"I spotted more disabled bulldozers" See, this is what you get for not waiting a couple days to scout out the Waystation before attacking.

"Still... something was strange about [Olujime's] use of lightning." Yoruba demigod! Or demigod equivalent! Is the lightning coming from him or his unnamed weapon?

"'Sssssup?" "'Sssssarah,' I said, 'did you swallow a Germanus whole?'" "No." . . . "Well, perhapsssss." I love Sssssarah

"He killed a path into the building." Are a lot of people on our good side dead? A lot of people on our good side are dead, aren't they?

"Was the detached bronze wing of a dragon." How did they freaking wrench that off of Festus? That's quite a feat. Seriously, that's, um, that's metal.

"a demigod I didn't recognize" He must be from the Imperial household, then? 'Cause all the people on the Waystation defense team are Emmie and Jo, Leo and Calypso, Lityerses, the griffins and Festus, and all the Hunters and rescued prisoners, right? And if they were rescued, Apollo would recognize them.

"one of Britomartis's bouncing mines." One of her... bouncing... mines. I'm trying and failing to picture that. And failing to think of why that exists.

"but [Heloise] had died." This is really sad and probably not the time for such a question, but why did she not disintegrate? Griffins are biologically classified as monsters, right? And monsters disintegrate when dead.

"Heloise and Abelard's nest appeared to be intact" Thank the heavens! "no signs of the male griffin or the egg." Never mind. Who cares about the nest if the griffins using the nest aren't there? Find them!

"lay the severed head and neck of Festus, ruby eyes dark and lifeless." NOOOO not Festus! He's been through so much! You can't just kill him like this! Okay, okay, so this has happened before, so maybe his head is still operational, just asleep like when he crashed in The Lost Hero. And this time his body is still in the vicinity and probably not as damaged as last time. It'll be easier to stitch the parts back together this time. It'll be fine. He'll be fine. Festus will be fine.

Fucking drown Commodus again. Or, like, decapitate him as I'm assuming he did with Festus. Listen, Commodus bby. You're really hot, but I stopped being able to excuse your actions after the first pointless execution. (After. I didn't like that Nero look-alike Cleander, anyway.)

"Calypso raised her bare hands, martial arts-style" When I tell you I'm literally guffawing- Thalia's got her bow drawn and Jo has the gun and Lit's got his sword AND THEN WE HAVE CALYPSO WITH HER BARE FUCKING HANDS I CAN'T-

"a bleeding diagonal cut" Are they not invulnerable? Are the Triumvirate members not invulnerable? Wait, is it just like the Hunters' immortality where they live forever and don't get sick but they can still die in battle? Why did it take me so long to realize? Okay, time to move on and pretend this embarrassing moment never happened.

On the bright side, defeating the Triumvirate is looking considerably less impossible now.

Wait, do they bleed blood or ichor?

"a gold spatha" Eyyyy, like Hazel! Where's his horse? Oh no, please don't tell me the horse is dead too. This is turning out to be a chapter with a pretty high body count. Remember "things were looking up"? Yeah, you see? Slow motion disaster is what this whole chapter was.

"Villainy!" Hold on. Hold on. Wait a moment. This is the cheesiest line I've ever seen said to a villain. There's no way- No, this is exactly what Apollo would say. Color me corrected. It's just, I can't take this seriously. You get it, right?

[citrusreadstoa]

Reading The Dark Prophecy: Chapter 37 (SPOILERS)

I just reread the last sentence of chapter 36, "At last, things were looking up!" and I immediately know that this chapter is going to be a hot disaster.

"Your favorite fruit? / I hope you didn't say grapes / Or apples, or figs" I also immediately know that this chapter is going to heavily feature Peaches.

"one last vile curse like, Oh, gosh darn it." Ashamed to say that this would be me.

"whanged against the hulls of the barges" WHANG (v.): make or produce a resonant noise Gotta get my mind out of the gutter. Of course it doesn't mean what you'd first think it means. Wait, they have room for barges down there? Aren't those boats kind of big to fit in a cave? I didn't think they updated to 1.18 already.

"Oh my gods! Look over there!" Yeah, my brain would work about as effectively if I were in the same situation. "so they executed a full one-hundred-and-eighty-degree waddle." Oh yeah, that's actually exponentially more effective on blemmyae. I wonder if anyone else has tried that on them before.

"I was fairly sure I hadn't caused the ceiling to crack and collapse." Peaches! "Blind luck?" Peaches! "Or perhaps the spirit of Trophonius had granted me one last grudging favor for destroying his cave." No, Peaches!

"'Hmm?' I asked. 'What friend?'" Gaslight Gatekeep Girlboss

"crushing my ulna and radius together." The definitions are too long, so to summarize: These are the two bones in your forearm. The ULNA is thinner and longer and on the opposite side as your thumb. The RADIUS is thicker and shorter and on the same side as your thumb.

"More likely, though, they were already in the area" "They"? Peaches is a "he," right? "Three karpoi" Oh, our dear Peaches brought friends. What are they, Apples and Figs? "three peach spirits" Oh no, they're all peaches. What do we refer to them as now? They're all Peaches!

Peaches ex machina

"I'm Apollo." "Peaches pointed to his friend on the right. 'Peaches.' Then to the baby demon on his left. 'Peaches.'" That's what I frickin' thought.

"I realized I wasn't going to be driving anywhere." Why not? Humans drive one-handed all the time. Apollo especially, being such a prolific driver of the sun chariot every day, should be able to drive one-handed easily. "Then I passed out." Okay, now he's not going to be driving anywhere.

[citrusreadstoa]

Reading The Dark Prophecy: Chapter 36 (SPOILERS)

"I may have mentioned: I am not the god of the sea." No, really?

"Air? Radiation? Limeade? Any of those sounded better than drowning in the dark." Including radiation? Apollo, do you know what that does to a mortal body? 'Cause it's sounding a lot like you don't.

"It seemed impossible that [Nanette] should have regenerated from Tartarus so soon" Mrs. Dodds regenerated really fast and she had the support of a god. I suppose the monsters in service to the Triumvirate might have their own secret passage out along with enhanced regeneration courtesy of the Triumvirate's patronage.

"because I know where the red wire goes!" Yeah, you can't kill him now! If you do, you'll have to sit through the holding music!

"Hum-um-um . . . Shumma-shumma." I've heard that song somewhere before, I swear.

"why so many blemmyae preferred to disguise themselves in mortal uniforms. Of course they were color-blind." Oh, that's clever. If you want to avoid standing out in mismatched colors, simply pick something that has the colors pre-decided for you! The blemmyae may not be too creative, but this is one thing they got right!

"Of course, that probably meant the Germani were fighting my friends at the Waystation right now, but I could only handle one earth-shattering crisis at a time." Exactly, Apollo. Priorities.

"Ah . . . but it's a well-known fact that underwater, timers take twice as long, so you'd actually have ten seconds." Please, Fates, let them believe this. "Are you sure about that?" . . . "He just said it was a well-known fact. Don't be impolite!" Yes, of course! You think he would lie to you?

[citrusreadstoa]

Reading The Dark Prophecy: Chapter 35 (SPOILERS)

"I turned her onto her side, as one should do for someone after they have a seizure." Rick Riordan offering lifesaving medical advice! Thank you!

"Ahem . . . So about this favor you promised--" "Shut up!" Lol it's such bad timing he doesn't even get the words out.

"Well, she makes your table manners look positively refined!" Is Persephone canonically a messy eater? Not the lore I was expecting to get today. "Demeter might make you the minor goddess of cute little piglets!" You have too much to live for! You might become the immortal god of pigs!

"Hope . . . Interesting word. I had hope once--that my father might act like a father. I got over it after a few centuries of being dead." Lmao Trophonius is such a salty boy.

With Meg having swallowed the bees instead of Apollo, are we not going to get Apollo's firsthand experience of swallowing death and madness? That's very disappointing.

"coughing up random words like horse, crossword, cloven, roots." Are these words we should pay attention to? I'm going to write them down anyway.

"Was forced death and madness to swallow." The mouth CPR thing? "mouth-to-mouth resuscitation" Yes, that! "(Those silly Roman demigods were always drowning.)" Gee, I wonder why. *eyes decrepit Neptune temple*

"Then, our minds cominlged, Meg and I plunged into primordial Chaos" OH, that's not the New York Public Library! "I shielded Meg from the miasma as best I could" Would it be able to hurt her if she's not physically there? Could it hurt Apollo, too? Also, MIASMA (n.): an oppressive or unpleasant atmosphere which surrounds or emanates from something

"Swift white horse . . . The crossword speaker. Lands of scorching death." Thanks! We get the full version of what Meg was rambling before.

"I could pass into the Fields of Punishment. Didn't I deserve to be punished for my many crimes?" Yes. You kinda have unfinished business, though. But yes. Definitely yes. "Unfortunately, Meg felt the same way." No, Meg! I don't know exactly what she's done in the Imperial Household, but just like Hazel's mother's influence was considered in Hazel's judgement, Nero's influence must be considered when weighing Meg's life. She also fought against this influence in the recent months. If Meg were to die now, I have no doubt she would go to the Fields of Elysium.

Of course, they're not going to die now.

"Thank the Three Fates" So that's who gods thank when they say that! It's been nagging at the back of my mind since I first started reading PJO.

"Destroy this cave." That was unexpected. Does Trophonius want to pass on into the afterlife? Is he hoping he and his brother can be reunited in death? "This location is too exposed . . . Perhaps my Oracle will reappear somewhere else in a few centuries . . . Maybe that will give you time to become a nicer father." Lol. So he just wants to move house. Fair enough. I can't bring myself to dislike Trophonius. Yeah, he drive a couple little girls insane, but who hasn't? He's remarkably stable for someone who has carried on in the solitude of darkness and fear and misery for the past few millennia. He hates Apollo for good reason. There's nothing to dislike Trophonius for other than the madness he hands out like candy.

"And Agamethus? Will he disappear as well?" . . . "Eventually" Are you telling me Brieanna doesn't get to pass on into the afterlife? No, no. I'm changing canon. He does find his way to the Underworld eventually. If it doesn't happen on its own, either Apollo or Leo will get word to Nico about it. There we go. Easy fix. Agamethus finds peace.

[citrusreadstoa]

Reading The Dark Prophecy: Chapter 34 (SPOILERS)

"Apollo, sing!" Underwater?

"(Oh, I get it! That's why they were called cottonmouths!)" Awful fucking way to learn exactly what kind of snake is in this lake. They're usually native to southeastern US, but this is a magic cave, so what the heck. Also, their bites can be fatal.

"Water moccasins are poisonous." I think you mean venomous. That Lethe water must be getting to you.

"Your blood on my hands. The crushed rose I couldn't save." Who is Meg singing about? Off the top of my head, probably her mortal dad. I wonder if we'll soon learn more about him.

"Something told me this cave was not the right place to bare one's soul." Very true, Trophonius could be listening and he does not sound like a kind fella.

"soft, kind eyes. He held out a single red rose." Meg's dead father? A memory of him?

"Just outside the New York Public Library in Midtown, a man's corpse sprawled on the white marble steps." In public? "Police milled around, taking notes, snapping photos" Yes, in public.

So I guess we learned more about Meg's dad. That was a little sooner than I expected.

"swirling upward like a waterspout, forming the shape of a man." Trophonius! Meg, stop your solo! I know you've gotten into your rhythm and all, but it kinda sorta really does have to end here. At this rate, Trophonius is going to think you're here for the prophecy.

"Around him swarmed a host of phantom bees, his sacred creatures, small smudges of darkness." I'm sorry, this totally broke the tension. That's a cute image.

"I've waited a long time, Father." We already knew he was his son, but I gotta say, it feels like half the characters in this series are children of Apollo.

"I could answer them, for the price of her sanity." Thanks, but I think I'll come back for the Black Friday sale.

"Take me instead . . . Did you listen to me then, Father?" Ooh, truly unfortunate choice of words. If he wasn't going to take her before, he'll do so now out of spite.

"'She is precious to you,' said the Oracle." It feels significant that he's referred to as the Oracle here rather than as Trophonius.

"Yes, I would die to save Meg McCaffrey." CHARACTER 👏🏻 DEVELOPMENT 👏🏻

"Very good!" He let that slide wayyyy too easily. Getting Trophonius to give the prophecy to Apollo instead of Meg should have taken a lot more work and a lot more time. "Then promise me that you'll grant me a wish." . . . "I swear. Whatever you ask." There it is. Apollo is racking up favors faster than a kid's birthday party. "Oh, I didn't promise anything in return!" THERE IT IS! Good trick, Trophonius! Very good.

[citrusreadstoa]

Reading The Dark Prophecy: Chapter 33 (SPOILERS)

"our rope unspooling as we bounced off one rock then another" This rope is doing jack shit. They're not rappelling or anything, they're just tumbling. Will they even come out this same entrance or...?

"WHEEEEEE!" Oh, this is going to be an ongoing madness, not just momentary. This is going to be a fun few chapters.

"Please, my lord!" Leto, Zeus's girlfriend, has to call him lord? We already knew he was this kind of person, but dang. "He is your son. He has learned his lesson!" Wait, this is the present! This is Leto right now, begging Zeus to spare her son further punishment! This is so, so unfair. But we already knew that.

"Hi, Styx!" Neither Lethe nor Mnemosyne? "You. Oath-breaker. Do not think I have forgotten." OH! This is great! I was worried breaking the Styx oath wouldn't have enough repercussions! This is gratifying.

"My rescuer was a young girl of about twelve." Ah, he doesn't know Meg. This is going to be even more fun than I thought. "the rhinestones in the corners of her cat-eye glasses were not just glinting. They emitted their own pale light." Wait, are those not regular glasses? Does she have magic crystals in her frame?

"We would not be exiting the same way we entered." So the rope was useless. They might as well have just hopped on in.

"Okay. I guess we'll improvise." Feed Meg to the snakes.

"Like spaghetti left too long in boiling water." A full spaghetti pot of snakes. Looks ready to eat. Wait, no. That's us. They're ready to eat and we're dinner.

"won't the snakes kill us?" "'Probably! . . . Let's find out!' I jumped into the lake." Self-preservation who? I thought we wouldn't have this sort of problem with Apollo. He's usually got a very strong sense of self-preservation, but not now! Snake pot, here we come!