#is what she has
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“I think I’ll just stay with her till I get my birthday presents”, she laughs, sounding more pig than human. I nod along as she continues, “she such a freak she just stares at the wall all day”, I bite my tongue, because saying the wrong thing would get her all despondent and quiet. Agree or be ignored, just like the shadow of my mother and her silent treatments.
But the thing is I used to just stare at the wall all day too, for whole weeks actually. I’d be so depressed that the heaviness in my stomach would anchor me to my bedspread; nothing to do but watch the sun change shape over the walls as it sank. I did this in high school a few months before the hazy night my life was supposed to end. The EMTs refused to let me choose though. Stuffed my soul back in my body and wiped vomit off my face and chest with those cheap paper towels you usually only find in gas station bathrooms.
When we talked ill of her girlfriend I should have said “well you’re using her, you’re manipulating her, you don’t respect her boundaries, you date a wizard created by a terf in your head, and to top it all off you’re in love with a man that lives in LA, for God sakes you write poetry about him for her to see (and laugh when it’s the only poem she doesn’t heart), you make out with me and tell me not to tell her, you can keep her on a leash if she doesn’t know you lie”
So you go, scurry on putrid rat and tell MY stories to your “friends” but boy do I have tales to tell about you, and none of them are even remotely funny or interesting or complex, because you are not any of those things. The stories are just snippets of a girl who was and always will be a boring beige wall of a person, spineless, dreamless, talentless and going nowhere bright. Couldn’t even sign up for university classes properly my ass, you’re just too lazy with a lack of comprehension or a knack for learning about anything that matters. I went through all of university without the money for therapy, without meds for my anxiety or depression, or a diagnosis for my ADHD. You have all the help in the world afforded to you and you still choose to do nothing with your life. Pathetic. You wouldn’t have enough time to read fan fiction anyways so it’s better you just study that, since it’s the only thing you’re remotely good at.
You tell them about your addict, child molested, depressed ex-best friend, who’s seen the world, experienced so much life, built a dream into something tangible, made money you took full advantage of, finished university (it’s not for everyone and that’s okay but let’s be honest you’d rather read smut some horny weirdo on the internet made up than learn about anything real, meaningful or socially relevant).
This all has taught me that I have real friends and supporters in my circle, I have people that’ll sit with me in the bathroom while I’m having a panic attacks. Celebrate being even five days clean. Ask me if I’m okay if I look spaced out (dissociating is something I deal with).
Because of this I remembered I have passions, and taste, and empathy (the word you skipped when you were reading the dictionary). I’ll tell them about you, a waste of space nobody who feeds off the energies of the pretty or cool or interesting girls around her because she hasn’t got a thing going for herself. I have pity for the things you went through but you can only use your trauma as an excuse to be a bad person for so long…. You are a mooch, a liar, a dull woman with the media literacy of an incel and the brainpower of a rock. (Maybe you did do too many whippets in LA smh)
Having a best friend is awesome, having any type of relationship with a delusional psycho narcissist is something I’m done with.
#I guess I’m not quite done being mad#text#journal#narcissistic personality disorder#is what she has#not a people pleaser…..
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Y’all want Taylor Swift to be gay so bad but you won’t even write femslash about her
#I was curious so I looked it up 1038 fics on ao3 tagged Taylor Swift and f/f#like I’m not necessarily encouraging people to go out and write rpf#but it’s wild that arguably the biggest musical artist right now who has a huge community speculating about her sexuality has so little fic#like this isn’t a good or bad thing I just think it’s interesting#idk I’m not actually a swiftie like that#like I listen to her music and keep up generally with what she’s doing but I’m not really in the fandom#so there might be something I’m missing
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I want more female characters who are just so bad at comforting others. Not for lack of trying or caring, they just get so so awkward when someone's upset, and they try to repeat things they've heard even if it doesn't necessarily apply to the situation, or they accidentally say the wrong thing and make it worse. If someone cries they panic and throw every single comfort technique down at once and it only helps because it's such bizarre behaviour
This post is for all women including trans women and op loves trans women. Terfs kill yourselves
#Basically I'm tired of female characters having the inherent “good helper/wise advisor” trait just bc they're women#And I'm also tired of the faux progressive female characters who have no emotion whatsoever#People seem to think the opposite of being a good caretaker is just not caring#No no#The opposite of being a good caretaker is not knowing which care to take and when or how.#Throwing water onto an oil fire. Putting blankets over someone who is claustrophobic. Recommending family time to an orphan. Etc.#I want a female character who will be up with you until 3am because you're struggling#But she can't stop quoting Mister Rogers because she has NO idea what to say#Even if she's experienced the same things she just has no idea how to convey any wisdom through words#Etc
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historical drama/sitcom where two gay best friends (woman and man) get lavender married--and proceed to spend the Fancy European Honeymoon their parents paid for acting as each other's wingman
#and hijinks ensue. obviously.#BONUS POINTS if they're gender nonconforming/questioning/trans coded#back at home they'd get dressed up then switch outfits in the taxi on the way to the gay club#now that they're married/on vacation in a new country they just wear what they want#he already has a glamorous collection of silk dressing gowns but she's the one who drags him out to buy a closet full of evening gowns#he tries to throw his suits out to make closet space and she steals them for her own wardrobe#also i think they should be a fun mixture of supportive and Cattily Judgemental about each other's dating decisions#just for funsies#like when your bestie is making a mess of their love life but you're in no position to lecture them bc youre WORSE#no wait wait wait#FINAL SEASON they both realize they're trans and move abroad permanently--where they each assume the other's legal identity!!!#SERIES FINALE: a joyful double wedding--wherein they lovingly divorce each other#and (under their switched identities) legally marry their longterm partners
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Bruce: I never got to see Dick's first reaction to the alcohol, because he tried it before as a kid. Same with Jason, he drank it without me being around. Tim got on his first party with alcohol behind my back.
Bruce: But at least I have Damian. Can't wait for his 21st birthday.
Dick: Yeah, I bet he would have a funny reaction, too!
Jason, sweating nervously, because he made little Damian sip on beer back when they were in the LoA: Y-yeah. C-can't wait.
#jason is infamous for trying to bond w his brothers by suggesting grabbing a beer... /hj#talia was here and supervised#she has this mindset that her kid should try it in front of her and to start hating it/finding boring so they wouldn't want it in future#(that what ra's did when she was lil)#my romani friend told me that some families give kids alcohol shots when they are sick ?????#so i am not sure how accurate it is in general but it was for her so i thought it would be funny for dick too???#red hood#jason todd#damian wayne#batfamily#bruce wayne#dick grayson
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every year, my boss buys a few cat calendars for our workplace. Due to some sort of mix-up, we accidentally got a few naked women calendars this year.
Normally, that's where the story would end. It would just be a mildly amusing mistake.
But it becomes absolutely fucking hilarious because I opened up the calendar package in front of clients today. One moment, we're just discussing the cats up for adoption and if their current cat might be willing to accept a new baby brother/sister and bam. Suddenly it went all tits up the second I picked up one of the calendars and actually looked at the damn thing.
Unfortunately, the clients ALSO looked at it.
None of us wanted this to happen. None of us knew how to respond to it. There's nothing in any social protocol that could have prepared us for this.
There was just like thirty solid seconds of absolutely dead silence as we all tried to think of the most polite thing to say.
"Wow," i said, because I'm entirely braindead at this point. "Not the kind of pussy I expected to encounter today."
Thankfully, they thought it was hilarious. It probably wasn't the most politic thing to say, but it was very funny to at least three people.
#one of my coworkers has asked to keep the naked women calendars#i do not know what she has planned for them#i didn't think it was polite to ask#i should think that's none of my business
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I need them to do a reboot of House but I want them to just go fucking wild with it. Everyone's gay, everyone's fucking. House, Wilson, and Cuddy are in a toxic polycule, one that definitely violates work ethics, that ends when Cuddy cheats on them with Cameron. I want it to be just as homophobic, just as ableist, just as fucked up, as the original and yet have the characters all be so fucking woke. Same episodes with the same plots but modern. I want Chase to have an onlyfans.
#shitpost#house md#malpractice md#gregory house#hate crimes md#robert chase#james wilson#lisa cuddy#hilson#idk if theirs a ship name for them#but house x wilson x cuddy#allison cameron#i didn't mention foreman#but hes there#he falls in love with Chase after accidentally finding his OF#thirteen uses Tumblr#like she has a Tumblr accent#and house definitely knows what Tumblr is#and definitely notices
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One last heart-to-heart.
So I don't know if this is technically a mini, or a full part (hence the different layout). This was originally not written as part of the script. But I felt it was way too important to not bring up. Especially considering Susie's run-in with that emotional parasite and that whole (not) throwaway line from Lesslo about Kris having been literally discarded and abandoned as a child.
Let's just call it part 91-1.
FIRST - PREVIOUS - NEXT
MASTERPOST (for the full series / FAQ / reference sheets)
#deltarune#deltarune fanart#utdr#crossover#crossover comic#twin runes#twin runes comic#twin runes au#my art#kris dreemurr#susie deltarune#maybe you've noticed it#but in the last pages susie has been very hesitant around kris#all thanks to her encounter with that mask darkner#which made her listen to all the terrible things she said to kris#which are in that one blogpost you can find hidden in the spamton sweepstakes website#kris may be a silly little goober but they're not dumb#they know exactly where susie is coming from#because they know what it's like
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whatever this is girls keep doing it
#she literally bullies you AND takes your lunch money. as if they have read my diary or somesuch#hades#hades 2#melinoë#melinoe#nemesis#nemelinoe#melesis#i dont know what the collective unconcious has decided to call this couple#my art#hades game
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Personally I think that Azula should have been redeemed simply so that she can become Zuko's horrible little advisor who whispers evil little plans to him so that he can do the exact opposite
#the only reason she gets this job is bc he doesnt trust her anywhere else in the palace#its like enrichment for manipulative girls#also so that he can set her on asshole deligates like a rabid little lapdog#she just has mean fuckin pomeranian energy that thing bites then lights you on fire w flames so hot theyre cold#i think their sibling dynamic could be sooo fucking funny its insane#azula#azula atla#atla#avatar the last airbender#zuko#atla zuko#firelord zuko#DISCLAIMER I AM YET TO READ THE COMICS SO IDK WHAT HAPPENS TO HER IN THEM#also long overdue for a rewatch of the show its insane#fire hazard siblings
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One of my favorite choices the Apothecary Diaries made was making the Emperor a “normal guy” (as far as I know as an anime-only). He’s not evil. He’s not hindering Mao Mao’s journey. He respects the concubines.
If anything his lack of autonomy and presence as the most powerful person in the country further enhances the show’s themes of working within the confines of class and gender inequality.
The previous emperor was a horrible, horrible pervert. Okay, then this emperor only weds women of age… Until he’s forced to take his father’s precious wife due to politics. The current emperor reasonably avoids her.
Eunuchs exist? Bam! now the surgery is outlawed, but this will create a reduction in male labor around the palace.
The emperor clearly favors few women. Well, now he must recognize a concubine with a powerful politician father playing the system.
He supports Mao Mao toeing the line of social expectations for women, but hasn’t removed the law against women preparing medicine. It makes one think, if he wanted to, could he make the change at all? For every two steps forward, he’s forced to take one step back.
In this universe even the Emperor is limited by social pressure and the expectations of his station. His life and that of his children is out of his control, and if that isn’t such a compelling piece of world building I don’t know what is.
If that’s how the author twists the narrative of the Emperor you better believe her female characters dealing with women’s issues in this society are even better written.
#you should all watch the apothecary diaries#I’m all caught up and starting the manga#never read a manga before#and despite knowing what’s going to happen in a MYSTERY I’m still locked in#guys it’s so good#I can’t wait to finish the manga and then jump into the light novels and read it all AGAIN#the apothecary diaries#kusuriya no hitorigoto#and if I’m wrong about the emperor please don’t tell me#no spoilers please#though this has spoilers up to the most recent episode#maomao#tagging the queen because she’s mentioned#these characters!!!!#wrote this instead of my discussion post for class🤪
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The Aftons are a very normal FNAF couple
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#fnaf 4#afton family#william afton#mrs afton#clara afton#very normal date night between these two#when they were younger of course#nothing is better to me than William being this oddball#who knows he isn’t like everyone else#so he’s constantly calculating in this head the best directions to go any given situation#to appear as ‘normal’ as humanly possible#then there’s Mrs Afton who truly thinks directly to what she wants#NO doubt no fear#she wants to kiss that whimsical dude#who builds robots and has big ideas for inventions#I feel like I’m shooting myself in the foot#cause this comic is a bit but did come out cute#the more I explore this relationship the more doomed we are#cause these two are inherently doomed#smh 😔😔😔 I’m boo boo the fool
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I just wanna say bc I KNOW you're somewhere on tumblr, to the teenage girl who attended Take Your Kid To Work Day at an office building in Ontario, Canada circa 2013 and had a conversation with a middle aged woman in which you showed her your Black Veil Brides fanart and fanfics and ship content and told her about different fanfic tropes including a/b/o verse bc she happened to know who Panic! at The Disco and Fallout Boy were and thus you felt the need to show her your bandblr ship art, that was my fucking mother and I had to clarify all that to her including looking my mother in the eye and trying to explain a/b/o verse without sounding like a lunatic.
It's been 10 years and I still regularly sent evil energies in your direction. Since you'd be probably two years younger than me and thus legally an adult now, please know if this post reaches you it's on sight.
#she cornered me in the car and asked what shipping was and i almost had a fucking heart attack#imagine being like 16 years old and habing to explain knotting to your mother#random emo music girl I'm glad you had fun talking about your Band Guys to my mother#bc i also attended take your kid to work day at that office and i know how boring it was#but christ alive why did you have to fuck me like that?#anyways i hope this post reaches you so at the very least you know i think about you at least once a week#this has been weighing on me for ten years#im almost tempted to blaze this post
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Hawke family fleeing the Blight
I have some thoughts on my Hawke having to deal with another Blight and keeping her family safe again. But that's too long for this post, so I'm just gonna add it to my list of Dragon Age fics that I still need to finish...
#dragon age#datv#dragon age 2#hawke#marian hawke#fenris#fenhawke#fenris x hawke#Marian Hawke you will always be my favorite DA protagonist#dragon age the veilguard#datv spoilers#dragon age carver#carver hawke#dragon age aveline#bethany hawke#actually i will ramble about this here because what do you mean kirkwall is gone???#that's hawke's home don't tell me she has to abandon her home AGAIN due to the blight#given that we have to say goodbye to a certain character i really wanted to see kirkwall one last time ya know???#but maybe i'm biased becuase DA2 is my favorite
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I just really need her to know
#I love that they get the opportunity to heal now#and I really think this is smth cait wishes she could do#telling baby vi that one day she’s going to be loved unconditionally#and protected#and ENOUGH#or in the words of venomwrites:#‚i know this seems bad but one day you're gonna bag the baddest bitch who has her own prison‘#MINE#arcane#vi arcane#caitlyn kiramman#caitvi#piltover's finest#the fucking pain I inflicted myself drawing little vi in her prison outfit#and you!#fuck you in particular#ypu know who you are and what you did
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I really wonder if trauma theorists who say things like "Humans are the only animal that will be in a fright state when physically safe" or "the rest of the animal kingdom doesn't get PTSD" have ever, like
Do you think they've actually ever met an animal?
#staranise original#psychology#child abuse tw#ptsd tw#animal cruelty tw#so much of what we know about the nervous system and behaviour comes from animal studies!!!#the physiological toll of even fairly brief upsetting events on baby rats is evident for the rest of their lives#my cat has been spoiled like a princess for a decade straight#and if you reach out to pet the top of her head with your hand palm-down she WILL smack you#no matter how happy she is with the rest of the interaction#she LOVES being petted on the head if you approach with your hand behind her ears#seeing that A L W A Y S causes her to react out of sheer reflex#even with me#tell me that's not a trauma response#actually don't#I need to go wrap presents
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