#is this... a dirty joke or?

[goldensunset]

did you know? if you do your laundry you can get your clothes back

[chloesimaginationthings]

How Jeff really dies in FNAF into the pit…

[laikabu]

sorry this is kind of depraved i dont know what came over me. sorry

[fattuccini-afraido]

Y/N: This is too hot, I can't eat this.

Jeff: You're too hot and that doesn't stop me from eating you.

Helen, chokes:

Slenderman: ONE DINNER. ALL I WANT IS ONE NORMAL FUCKING DINNER.

[maskofnova]

The other homestuck post I had in me, its the year of the cringe weirdo couple, my beloveds.

[willowser]

once you and katsuki discover you're expecting, you agree to keep it to yourselves for a little while.

you can't hide forever, but you want the chance to bask in the excitement of what's to come, together, away from outside eyes prying in. and you do: there's an immediate difference in the way you touch each other, how often, with katsuki even shifting coverage for patrol just so he can cling to your side for an extra day or two. it's like a honeymoon, almost, and you take the time to enjoy it like one.

but of course he wants to tell his parents as soon as he can, though he doesn't outright admit it; as soon as you start pushing the boundary of your waistband, he finds time in his schedule to see his dad—and then mitsuki makes time for him to see her.

katsuki tells toshinori next, who becomes quite emotional at the sight of your ultrasound, which in turn makes katsuki surprisingly emotional, too. there's much that they say and even more that they don't, but it's all communicated, regardless.

and lastly—he has to tell his nerd-ass friends.

it happens on one of their bi-monthly outings—that katsuki has consecutively been skipping for a little while, for obvious reasons. and it's like the minute he sits down in his seat and orders his food and one beer, everything he'd planned to say dissolves in his head.

despite wanting to keep quiet, he's been trying to plot out his announcement to these exact shit heads since the moment you found out. it's just so personal, and even after everything, katsuki's still discovering how to share those parts of his life with others, still coming to terms with the fact that he wants to.

he'd considered doing it slowly, rather than all at once in front of all of them, but he very quickly realized how terrible of a plan that was; deku would not physically be able to contain such knowledge in his body for any period of time, kirishima is a notorious fucking gossip, and if shouto had given him some kind of shit ass, wrinkled-nose look, he would have had to howitzer him through a building.

so he just says it, because he's never really been one for subtlety.

right after everyone's received their food and started to take their first bites, denki makes a point to ask,

"how's things with your honeybun, kacchan?"

and normally he'd have a fit at the nickname, but instead he hears bun and feels his stomach flip like it does when he remembers, when silly little things remind him of what the two of you have made together, and into his food, he simply says,

"we're havin' a baby."

the expected silence falls over all of them, save for the scaping of utensils against katsuki's bowl. he's damn good at feigning nonchalance, but food is getting stuck in his throat and his heart is beating so hard that he can hear it deep in his eardrums. of course he knows, but it dawns on him again, how overrun he is with excitement.

across the table, denki takes his turn to speak again. "you're...what?"

and then the whole room is erupting into a mass of chaos, moving in pieces like a riot of unrefined children, and even though he's being hounded with a million questions and being shaken around by his shoulders and some of these assholes are crying—katsuki graces them all with a big, fat grin.

[floofanflurr]

have a comic that i never polished up. it’s been sitting in my drafts for at least a month.

[crazygnomenclature]

Romanes eunt domus.

Webtoon | Insta

Support Tiff & Eve on Patreon

[malcontentonline]

After Mission Cuddles ~

Bonus:

[gregsnero]

THE GANG AS LPS!!

took 20 minutes but i think its pretty accurate not gonna lie i outdid myself

charlie

dennis

mac

dee

frank

[obligatebureaucrat]

I haven’t seen a single person be horny about the elephant powerup in Mario Wonder, but I’ve seen like a thousand Twitter Comedians be like “HOLY SHIT IT’S A FETISH! LOOK A FETISH! NINTENDO PLEASE DONT UNLEASH THIS CURSED SHIT ONLINE”

And like, yeah some people are gonna be into it (and more power to you), but it’s obnoxious that a good chunk of the discourse about Wonder is people seeing the most benign kids-show-grade animal character and pretending like Nintendo just unveiled Ball Gag Mario or some shit.

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

Book!Thranduil really was like:

Thranduil: *catches dwarves, a race his people isn’t that friendly with, trespassing on their land during a celebration* why are y’all infiltrating our territory?

Dwarves: fuck you

Thranduil: alright, imma put you in the time-out corner until you’re ready to talk.

Several days and 1 dragon later

Dwarves: even thought we screwed the humans over, got many of them killed, destroyed their homes, and could have potentially destroyed even more because we awoke a dragon and proceeded to not lift a finger to fight it, we will not share a dime of our treasure with you!

Humans: fuck you give us some money! At this point, we should just kill you and take it all ourselves for all the grief you’ve caused us!

Thranduil: jesus fucking christ-

Thranduil: NO ONE’S KILLING ANYONE FOR MONEY

Thranduil: Let’s calm down, children. We can talk this out like grown adults.

Bilbo: *tries to manage a truce between both sides*

Thranduil: you’re the only one i respect

Gandalf: well-

Thranduil: shut up.

[gracewolf43]

procrastinating studying for exams :P

[plistommy]

Eddie, angry at Steve: You’re such an asshole!

Steve: Well you sure seem to love mine!

Eddie:

Steve:

Eddie:

Steve:

Eddie, giving up and coming to kiss Steve: Fuck you, man…

Steve, smirking: That’s the point, Eds.

[once-in-a-half-life]

saw a tweet and immediately had this joke in mind

[doreensladle]

ai could never write this