#bad dates

[crazygnomenclature]

QR Coded

Sorry, I'm with the boomers on this one. I've never had an experience with those QR code menus that I've walked away from satisfied.

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[kitschandretro]

Too bad Bob had too much spiked eggnog and ended up on Timber instead of Tinder.

[bihansthot]

I feel like I have so much to update y’all on but I have nails on so it’s hard to type so it might be short. I ditched the DDLG guy after he sent me a video of him peeing sorry if that’s your thing but it’s definitely not mine. I went out on a date Saturday with a Japanese guy which was fun because I got to actually use my Japanese. I’ll hopefully see him again but last night I went out with a dude from Reddit and it was the most boring date in my life, we had nothing in common and he didn’t even compliment me! Needless to say I won’t be seeing him again the only highlight was Ani finally texted me back during the awful date. I have a date with a guy I actually started talking to years ago but we never got together, so that should be interesting. He’s attractive and older so that’s nice, I don’t know if I mentioned but Ani is basically my age he’s a year older, so maybe he’s a little more mature? I’ll keep y’all posted.

[custardfist]

‘𝗧𝗔𝗟𝗞 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗧𝗔𝗟𝗞’ 🗣👩‍🦰

He should have a lawyer check the legal validity of his claims. 😜

[hellyeahscarleteen]

What To Do When a Date Is Going Badly

New from Lisa Laman! A guide for what to do when a date goes wrong.

“It can feel daunting to go on a date. Whether you’re autistic or not, it often requires extreme gumption to go out⁠ there and be vulnerable with another human being. Just getting to the point of even just being on a date with somebody can be a Herculean struggle. Given hurdles like figuring out how to ask someone out, whether they’re interested in you in that fashion, deciding on a good place to go one might imagine that actually going through with the date in question would be a breeze. Once you’ve trained for the season, isn’t getting time on the field a much smoother ride?

Unfortunately, things can and sometimes do go badly on dates. Let’s look at just some of the various ways a date can go wrong mentally or physically and some ways to potentially confront these problems. Just because it’s inevitable certain dates will go wrong doesn’t mean there aren’t ways you can take care of yourself when it happens.

Experiencing deep unpleasantness during a date is something that I, unfortunately, personally experienced in the early weeks of 2024.”

You can read the full piece here

[princessheatherblossom]

Chrysalis on a date 👁️👄👁️ feat. @brawny-buck and Editz Khun (Based off of @crookedbeetles animatic)

[pl4yboy-bunny]

being blacklisted by the friend group because i said lesphobic shit (i won’t even deny it, i absolutely lost my shit).

for some context, i went on a date with a lesbian, and when i say i’ve never met a more man obsessed woman, i’m not kidding. “men suck. women are so much better than men. they can’t do shit” like facts, but like i simply could not fathom why she kept bringing up men on our date. men are boring, why can’t we talk about something elseeee.

anyways, i know calling lesbian man-obsessed is rude, so my bad on that.

and apparently i made her feel “predatory” because i was uncomfortable when she got too touchy. so actually grabbing my thigh randomly is weird. like that one can’t be on me, right?

and then later on she went on another tangent about how she could treat me better and how she’d “turn me” IT’S 2024? WE KNOW BETTER THAN TO SAY THIS? not going to lie, my attraction to men is maybe 10%, but i have never felt a stronger desire to just fuck a man in that moment, purely out of spite.

like genuinely this woman was no better than a man. i’ve had better dates with men who ended up being trumpies which says a lot. worst date of my life. made me question if i even liked women (i do, ms. olsen re-confirmed that for me). like yeah you almost did turn me…STRAIGHT! most effective conversion therapy i’ve experienced.

also the constant self-comparison to men (I DIDN’T EVEN BRING UP MEN, SHE DID) really icked me and she got mad when i called her insecure.

so in the end, me calling her “man-obsessed,” “no better than a man,” “insecure,” and making her feel “predatory” was extremely lesbophobic, and like i disagree. i am herphobic! not afraid of lesbians! i don’t know how i ended up on a date with someone like her! genuinely worse than a man.

but like am i really the villain for losing my shit in this case?

[crazygnomenclature]

Not shy about his Hulud, eh?

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[kitschandretro]

I don't think it's going to work out for us, Frosty. I'm just not attracted to mayonnaise gelatin salad molds.

[fatfemdatingcomedy]

Guys who love Charlie Brown are the worst

I went out with this guy last year who loved the Peanuts so much that it was his childhood nickname. I didn’t think much of it at first since it’s a popular series but then I started to see the signs. He was only 5’4” so we had a few differences already and that was just in inches. I’m usually not one to complain but every inch did matter in this situation. Especially when he tried pressing his erection into my knee when we were saying our goodbyes after making out.

He was only visiting for the weekend but we texted for a while after he left because I hated myself. What I learned about him is that he could sext like I did when I was 14 and being groomed by 30 years old online. During one of our conversations, after he said eating pussy was more natural than drinking soup, I asked if he could refrain from saying things like that because it dampens the mood. He texted back lol okay Peppermint Patty and my pussy had dried up so fast that taking my fingers out of it was like pulling out a dry tampon. 

I decided to keep entertaining him after that incident because I wanted to see just how bad it could get. Eventually, we started to call each other and have phone sex while mutually masturbating. One day, he had asked if I could degrade him before we started so I did my best and we figured out some things that worked and didn’t. When he was close to climaxing, I decided to be a dick and said “You can’t even kick a fucking football,” referencing the last incident. I was hoping this would ruin the moment, but this man came loudly and said “Oh, Lucy!” instead. Thankfully, since he was a virgin, he thought the horrified gasp that escaped my mouth was caused by whatever he was saying to me. I couldn't risk another Chinese Pussy Trap by attempting to masturbate this time, so I was already scrolling on Tinder for my next punishment just in time.

Now, I’m not saying all men or people who love the Peanuts are bad… but this guy was bringing them down to the level of Disney Adult. If there’s any lesson I learned from this man, it would be to not worry about hurting his feelings if you don’t think you’re compatible. Although, some would argue the bigger lesson would be to block any man whose first response to seeing your tits is “Good Grief!” followed by a Snoopy gif.

[fagtron1000]

I need to tell yall a story about the only guy I’ve actually ever dated so gather around

So I was dating his guy he was Bi and he was a fan of guardians of the galaxy movies and yes that will be important later on

I dated his dude like summer 2023 and he was mostly chill he was kinda weird in some ways but he was nice overall and one day we were at his house watch movies so we watched some and then we started watching the second guardians of the galaxy movies and because we watched the first one a couple days before and to this day I have no idea what that movie did to make him get so horny so we started to kiss and touch up on each other like getting 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 and after a few minutes of doing that he pops the 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 ass question “do you know what fisting is?” And I said yeah and he asked if he could do it do me and I said HELL NO and then he somehow got offended and he pushed me away saying I was “sexually repressing” him and he kicked me out of his house and broke up with me saying I was not sexually expressive enough for him and he broke up with me and thats why I don’t date anymore and never rewatched the guardians of the galaxy movies because I only remember that when I try to watch them 💜

[switchkitty143]

Geez, I realize I horny post all the time over here I don't think I've ever said anything about myself *face palm*

Little about me, 420 friendly I am literally a big tiddy goth girl with cute squishy belly and thighs. Tatted up and have piercing (industrial)Love dark academia, rainy days, chocolate, I'm a foodie, love anime,movie buff. Love music of all genres,I have a collection of makeup, plushies,poems,erotica. Batman items to name a few.

I had the idea of having my own custom fanfic/erotica after not seeing enough of ME in these stories. So, I told Jazz my idea and we've been working with each other since. Now mind you, I was a fan of theirs beforehand hand cause they also write scripts. I'm telling you they're talented af. I'm thankful of their writing cause it makes myself and others feel seen. 😌

I am an Asmrist and voice actor by another name. I came over here cause I was longing for erotica, like minded people who also like erotica and also display my erotica written by our very own @jazzthatonewriterchick

Here's a teaser of one I've done as of late. If you choose to listen to full version of audio, be mindful of tags. I am toxic af in this one. 🛑

Make sure to give the writer love too. Just like Jazz, another brilliant writer that think outside the box. Enjoy 😉

If you like to support my work I will leave my links below. Give you options!

That's it for me lol nice to meet you all. In the meantime, stay tuned for more beautiful smut💋

[neomspoint]

[venusthedivinegoddess]

I just went on a date with a girl and she asked for my Zodiac sign so I thought 'what could go wrong?' and told her that I'm an Aquarius, she then proceeded to judge me and say that I'm too toxic for her. I am so tired of people thinking that they know everything about me based on my Zodiac sign. I mean it's fine if you believe in Astrology but don't switch up on me and make false assumptions

[aclaywrites]

Oh this is a great question!! It was about four years ago, one of the last times I dated someone before meeting my Lady Love. The gal and I met on some app and had been chatting, it was time to go out properly, so we arrange a time and she picks me up. She’s cute, works in a nursery (the plant kind) comes by to get me in her truck, so far so good. We head for the restaurant and the concern sets in because she’s the worst driver I’ve ever seen. Squealing around corners, zooming past people, at one point she stopped at a red light then looked around to see there were no other cars, then just accelerated through the light while I screamed and clung to the sissy bar.

We get to the restaurant still in one piece, and sit down to have dinner. It’s ok, good food, rather basic conversation. I’m already getting the idea that this will be our only date when a Vietnamese couple and their kids come and sit at a table not far from us. Date glances over at them, shakes her head, and says “Man, I hate Asians. They’re so sneaky, you know? But hey they’re better than Jews.” I literally dropped my fork into my plate and stared at her open-mouthed for a moment, whereupon she says, ‘After we eat, let’s go somewhere I can fuck you in my car.” I called an Uber and left, blocked her number, etc. The next morning when I woke up, she’d left a big flat of exotic succulents and purple-black flowers which I loved and kept but it did her no good.

(Full disclosure: under different circumstances “After we eat, let’s go somewhere I can fuck you in my car” would be an A+ 💯 thrilling moment which would have me preening and fluttering and rushing through my dessert. No shame.)

[returnofstiqz]

Gotta get your game up, brother! BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE

"Looks like you need more...EXPERIENCE"