#bad dates

[crazygnomenclature]

"The Clinger (pt. 1-4)"

Eve sure knows how to pick 'em.

Webtoon | Insta | Bluesky

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[kitschandretro]

I don't think it's going to work out for us, Frosty. I'm just not attracted to mayonnaise gelatin salad molds.

[hellyeahscarleteen]

What To Do When a Date Is Going Badly

New from Lisa Laman! A guide for what to do when a date goes wrong.

“It can feel daunting to go on a date. Whether you’re autistic or not, it often requires extreme gumption to go out⁠ there and be vulnerable with another human being. Just getting to the point of even just being on a date with somebody can be a Herculean struggle. Given hurdles like figuring out how to ask someone out, whether they’re interested in you in that fashion, deciding on a good place to go one might imagine that actually going through with the date in question would be a breeze. Once you’ve trained for the season, isn’t getting time on the field a much smoother ride?

Unfortunately, things can and sometimes do go badly on dates. Let’s look at just some of the various ways a date can go wrong mentally or physically and some ways to potentially confront these problems. Just because it’s inevitable certain dates will go wrong doesn’t mean there aren’t ways you can take care of yourself when it happens.

Experiencing deep unpleasantness during a date is something that I, unfortunately, personally experienced in the early weeks of 2024.”

You can read the full piece here

[jacks-weird-world]

TW: What is orthorexia?

Orthorexia is a term that describes an obsession with eating healthy food. It comes from the Greek words ortho, meaning ‘correct’ and orexis, meaning ‘appetite’.

A person with orthorexia is fixated with the quality, rather than quantity, of their food to an excessive degree. Orthorexia can start with ‘healthy’ or ‘clean’ eating, then progress to the elimination of entire food groups such as dairy or grains, and then to the avoidance of foods such as those with artificial additives, foods treated with pesticides, or particular ingredients (e.g. fat, sugar or salt).

[princessheatherblossom]

Chrysalis on a date 👁️👄👁️ feat. @brawny-buck and Editz Khun (Based off of @crookedbeetles animatic)

[succubusdivinity]

I just went on a date with a girl and she asked for my Zodiac sign so I thought 'what could go wrong?' and told her that I'm an Aquarius, she then proceeded to judge me and say that I'm too toxic for her, I am so tired of people thinking that they know everything about me based on my Zodiac sign, I mean it's fine if you believe in Astrology but don't switch up on me and make false assumptions

[aclaywrites]

Oh this is a great question!! It was about four years ago, one of the last times I dated someone before meeting my Lady Love. The gal and I met on some app and had been chatting, it was time to go out properly, so we arrange a time and she picks me up. She’s cute, works in a nursery (the plant kind) comes by to get me in her truck, so far so good. We head for the restaurant and the concern sets in because she’s the worst driver I’ve ever seen. Squealing around corners, zooming past people, at one point she stopped at a red light then looked around to see there were no other cars, then just accelerated through the light while I screamed and clung to the sissy bar.

We get to the restaurant still in one piece, and sit down to have dinner. It’s ok, good food, rather basic conversation. I’m already getting the idea that this will be our only date when a Vietnamese couple and their kids come and sit at a table not far from us. Date glances over at them, shakes her head, and says “Man, I hate Asians. They’re so sneaky, you know? But hey they’re better than Jews.” I literally dropped my fork into my plate and stared at her open-mouthed for a moment, whereupon she says, ‘After we eat, let’s go somewhere I can fuck you in my car.” I called an Uber and left, blocked her number, etc. The next morning when I woke up, she’d left a big flat of exotic succulents and purple-black flowers which I loved and kept but it did her no good.

(Full disclosure: under different circumstances “After we eat, let’s go somewhere I can fuck you in my car” would be an A+ 💯 thrilling moment which would have me preening and fluttering and rushing through my dessert. No shame.)

[neomspoint]

[returnofstiqz]

Gotta get your game up, brother! BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE

"Looks like you need more...EXPERIENCE"

[nightandflesh]

Bad Valentine

[alittlelezzie]

Ooooof!!!

Date did not go well it was hella awkward and she was suuuuper quiet and a little older than she said she was by a few years.. annoying but, I had already ordered since she got there late… but anyway I get over the age thing and she is like very silent and awkward and so I start trying to ask questions like what’s you coming out story? Etc. Just some questions that I knew usually will get a story out of the person and I’d get to know them a little. She changed the subject to the menu “do you know if they have vodka here?” … it was 11 am and she’s asking about vodka 🤯��😓 but then the waitress came and she made a comment about how nice it is that I was taking my mom out for brunch… I just smiled and shook my head no and this date of mine was like damn near biting the poor waitress’s face off started getting loud saying the girl was blind or homophobic! Then once the waitress left after apologizing and nearly crying I tried asking some other date stuff like are you an only child? She replied just “no.” And starts playing on her phone. So I start asking, what do you like to do when you’re not at work. She looked up from her phone and gestured to me and the table. As if to signal dating and going out is what she likes. So finally the food gets to the table and at this point I’m thinking ok maybe it’s nerves she’s gonna loosen up now that the foods here. We start eating, she got some omelette thing and I got blackberry pancakes. So I ask her how her food is and she just nods yes and gives me a thumbs up while looking at the food and taking a bite and scrolling on her phone. ON “HER” THE APP WE MET THROUGH! At that point I’m done and just trying to eat and get out so I stop asking stuff and start to eat the pancakes. BUT THEN some random friend of hers showed up lookin like the face of meth asking her for money! After that I excused myself to the restroom apologized and tipped the waitress and asked her to bring the check as soon as we finish eating and rush us out the door. She happily agrees and tells me she’s sorry this dates bad and I smile and continue on to the restroom. I’m on my way back to the table and the guy who came asking for money is sitting in my spot across from my date EATING OUT OF MY PLATE! Date sees me coming around and tells the guy to move further into the booth to basically sit next to me and that’s when I said fuck it. I grabbed my purse which I had left there (I took my wallet to tip the waitress) and she made a comment like “he didn’t touch any of your food or stuff”. I looked her in the eyes told her the date was now over for me and I tossed a $20 on the table and left. It was sooooo bad you guys!!!

[bihansthot]

Wtf is happening in my life lol I went on two dates last week one good-ish one painful and I have two possibly three dates this week. Someone send help, being this social for a gremlin is very difficult. I suppose I should spill the tea, I went out with a nice metal head last Wednesday and while he’s not exactly my type physically he was nice to be around, pleasant to talk to and a gentleman so I agreed to see him again but we haven’t made plans yet and I’m still holding try outs for be Sol’s boyfriend right? The second date was Friday with a super nerd now don’t get me wrong I’m also a total nerd I mean my dog is named Denethor FFS but we’re the wrong type of nerd. He’s sci-fi and I’m fantasy and while this is poly dating and I knew going into the date he was married I did not know about his three kids under 8 or the couple he and his wife were seeing together nor did I know he was a stay at home dad. All of these are kind of big red flags for me, not being upfront about additional partners HUGE red flag, not knowing about children also huge deal for me. He also took me to a cat cafe without asking prior if I was allergic, thankfully I’m not but these are all pretty big signs he’s concerned for himself and not others. He was also rather large, which don’t get me wrong I have no issues with I’m not a body shamer and my partner is rather heavy too but this guy had a chronic injury so he couldn’t really interact with the kittens so the whole thing was weird from the get go and I know y’all know me, this pillow princess does NOT ride (unless it’s for Bi-Han) so wtf would I gain from this relationship? A guy who already divides his attention between 6 people has no income and I can only see him when the kids are asleep?! Big fucking no. I was pleasant and cordial through out the date and thanked him for taking me but I put on my big girl panties and told him he just had too much going on for me. I’m clingy, I’m needy, I’m also materialistic there’s a reason I met my ex on a sugar daddy website, I can’t be dating a broke ass man who’s seeing three partners and has three kids. I’m sorry if that sounds spoiled but it’s the truth, I NEED to be a priority and I didn’t feel like he could make me one.

I’m tentatively going out with another man this Friday at a barcade which is much more my scene, drinks and video games sound wonderful. Appearance wise he’s still not quite what I go for but better looking than the other two, then Sunday I potentially have a date with a dude who looks like he used to play college football and is physically much more my type he’s also in his mid 40s thank fuck as the others have all been in their 30s. There’s also another one who seems a very good fit who’s asked me out but we haven’t set a date or time yet.

So, yeah that’s what’s going on in my life lately the app is FeeId if anyone else wants to try poly or couples dating and was unaware of the app. I don’t remember the name of the sugar daddy website or I’d hook y’all up too but that ended badly so maybe it’s for the best I don’t remember.

My partner is going out of town for three days so wish me luck that Denny behaves for me and doesn’t drag me around in the snow. Oh yeah! It’s snowed the last two days! My real husband is saying hi 🥰 Maybe it’s a sign of good luck? Maybe one of these upcoming dates will go well then?

[jacks-weird-world]

☎️ skit of Jack's participation in Jake Shane's album 'puss and poems'.

[mulchmadness]

That moment when you scare off a date cause you won't advocate for the ethnic cleansing of Palestine.... like ok take the L bro

[remorsefulkittens]

Arrested

TK Strand/Carlos Reyes (Tarlos)

Owen Strand/Original Female Character

Ratting: Teen

Status: Complete (2,001 words)

@911bingo Square: Saved From a Bad Date

Summary: TK sends Carlos to save Owen from a bad date, and Carlos does, the only way he knows how…

Read on Ao3

Owen’s current companion had been talking for an hour straight, giving Owen plenty of time to regret saying yes to the date in the first place…sure, she was attractive, blonde, busty, and well-dressed, but Owen shouldn’t have let himself be fooled, because she was also self-centered, entitled, and downright boring; things he wished he'd known before she asked him out, and long before they made it to dinner.

“Like, what would she have done if she had been promoted instead of me? Lord it over me you can bet! She claims she has more schooling than me, but what does that even mean? I know how to do the job, so why take a course? I have better things to do with my time.”

Owen nodded along, waving to the waiter to bring another drink. A strong one.

“You’re lucky to be Captain,” she continued on, while Owen scanned the restaurant hoping for an out. A small fire in the kitchen maybe, or someone to heimlich. “No one to boss you around. Like, I feel like I’m still not in charge, even though I am in charge, you know?”

“Well, being a leader is more than a title,” Owen pointed out, the first words he'd spoken since ‘hello’. “You’ve got to earn it.”

Rearing back in her seat, Owen's date was clearly offended. “What is that supposed to mean? I did earn it!”

Owen apologized, and she went back to her original monologue, oblivious to Owen's discomfort, while Owen resumed his survey of the restaurant. Tuning the chatter out, Owen started running practice drills in his mind, nodding at his date every so often, without registering what she was saying. Until…

“Hello?! Did you hear me?” she asked, snapping her fingers near his face.

“Huh? What? Oh, sorry, what was that?” He gave his best smile to placate her.

She rolled her eyes, but he could tell she was charmed. “You’re not paying attention. I asked if we should go to my place or yours after?” She winked at him, and he pretended he wasn’t horrified.

“Oh, wow…” he fumbled for something to turn her off the idea of going home together. “This is only our first date.”

She scoffed, tossing her hair, impossibly long with such body and shine, falling over her shoulders, strands brushing her neck, her cleavage…and damn it! That hair had distracted him before. He couldn’t let it happen again.

“Holy, Owen, this is the 20th century! And we are grown up's, we can do as we please.”

Another hair toss, and then she was drumming manicured fingernails on the table, waiting for his answer.

“Um, it's actually the 21st century, but good point,” he glanced over his shoulder, but the entrance door was too far to bolt. “I just have to hit the men's room, and we'll work out the details.”

Owen was up and moving before she could object, and he shut the bathroom door with a grimace. He needed an out. In New York he might have considered slinking away, having the waiter make an excuse …but Austin was smaller. He would run into Gemma again, she worked at his favorite men's wear store for Pete’s sake! Plus, he was an adult, captain of his own crew! He could tell Gemma the truth…or, he could call someone to rescue him.

He thanked God that he hadn’t left his phone at the table, yanking it from his pocket and dialing TK's number.

TK got his Dad’s call right after he told Tommy he would stay late to help Nancy with the inventory. Poor timing because he couldn’t just leave, but having been on his share of disastrous dates, TK couldn’t just abandon the man either. Obliged to think of something, he told his dad to hang tight, help was coming, at the same time he was texting Carlos to pass the buck. His boyfriend would just be getting off shift, so he could spring Owen on his way home, and maybe pick up take out too.

“Everything ok?” Nancy asked, tearing open boxes, and stacking supplies on the ambulance's bumper.

“All good, my dad just got himself stuck on a bad date,” TK shrugged, slipping his phone into his pocket. “I texted Carlos to go help out.”

Nancy snickered, picking up her clipboard to update her count. “Good that cap is putting himself out there. He's grumpy when he's lonely.”

TK climbed into the ambulance to start packing sterile dressings, gauze, gloves and masks into the cupboards.

“Yep!” TK agreed, “plus he interferes in my life a bit too much. Sounds like THIS one is definitely not THE one though,” he said grimly.

“Got distracted by pretty hair again?” Nancy snorted, and TK laughed out loud.

“Well all he could tell me is that she's blonde, and talks a lot, so sounds about right.”

Nancy picked up another box. “You know, he should just go out with Tommy. Neither of them are good at dating, maybe they'd click.”

Both TK and Nancy paused in their tasks, eyes meeting, before they cracked up.

“That'd be weird,” TK said, catching his breath.

“Yeah sure would,” Nancy agreed.

‘What? Just leaving work…how am I supposed to rescue your dad?’

‘TK? What am I doing?’

‘Are you serious about take out? That place is pricey.”

‘TK? Hello?’

‘TK you know it bugs me when you don’t answer…’

Carlos slid into his car, annoyed with TK's habit of texting, then going radio silent, without waiting for his answer. He had no idea how to extricate someone from a date, and Owen was an adult, couldn’t he just be honest with the woman? All Carlos wanted was to go home, get into sweats, and binge TV until TK joined him…and then he had some other, less PG ideas, about how to finish their evening…but first he needed to focus.

Take-out wasn’t a bad idea because he wouldn’t have to cook…plus if he did this TK would owe him and that was always fun. He thought for a second, tapping his fingers on the wheel, gaze wandering down to the uniform he was still wearing, and it hit him; he was a cop, how hard could it be to force someone out of a restaurant? He was sure his inspiration would work, and if he ordered food on his way over, he could grab it on the way out. Smiling at his own resourcefulness, Carlos put the car in gear, steered his way out of the parking lot and onto the road.

Back at the table, Owen could only pray his son would come through for him. He had stalled as long as he could in the bathroom, and now Gemma was looking pretty irritable…though it hadn’t stopped her from talking.

“My fish is dry,” she complained, glancing around for the waiter. “I’m going to let them know. This place gets such good reviews, but I’m not sure why.”

Owen managed not to groan, instead adopting an upbeat tone.

“Mine's great,” he said, stuffing a bite into his mouth, then talking while he chewed, “You should have gotten the steak.”

Gemma was clearly grossed out, and Owen figured being generally unpleasant would have to be his back-up plan if TK didn’t show soon.

“Yeah, well, red meat is terrible for you,” Gemma informed him, then shrugged. “But I guess it's a man thing. Whatever. Did you decide while you were in the bathroom?” She moved on, leaving Owen behind.

“Huh?” He blurted.

She rolled her eyes for probably the fifth time of the evening, because apparently Owen was slow.

“Your place or mine?” She prompted, giving him the same flirtatious grin that had gotten him here in the first place. Damn whatever hormonal process made him lose his common sense when pretty women looked at him that way.

“Wow, um…” he took another huge bite of his dinner to buy some time, chewing a full twenty times before swallowing. She reached over and put her hand over his, and he suddenly knew exactly how deer felt when the headlights hit them.

“I’d have to say your place,” he finally spit out, defeated. At least she wouldn’t know where he lived this way.

She smiled wide, like an extra creepy Cheshire cat, and he slumped in his chair, wishing for another drink.

“Good choice, Captain,” she drawled, leaning in closer, “At my place we can be as loud as we want.”

TK was going to an earful for this one, Owen swore, after all the things he had done for his son!

“Ha, yeah well that’s me,” he stammered, tipping his drink, hoping for a few more drops of tequila, “always making sound decisions and-"

“Owen Strand?”

Owen was startled by the commanding voice, fumbling his glass, nearly dropping it in his lap. Gemma's eyes went wide, and Owen swiveled in his seat to face Carlos Reyes, in full uniform, stone-faced, feet planted, thumbs tucked into his belt. Owen had seen Carlos in action before, but he didn’t think he'd ever seen him look quite so intimidating.

“Car-" Owen started to greet, only to be cut off by Carlos' raised hand.

“Owen Strand, you are under arrest,” Carlos stated, moving to pull the cuffs from his belt. “Stand up,” he ordered, without a hint of humor.

“Car-officer-I’m sure I have no idea-"

“You are Owen Strand correct?” Carlos questioned, eyebrow raised.

“Yes, I-well-yeah-you know that,” Owen stuttered, eyes darting from Carlos, to Gemma, to all the other faces staring at them.

“I do, and like I said, you're under arrest, so you need to stand up and come with me,” Carlos ordered, and Owen gaped.

“Easy or hard Strand! You decide,” Carlos barked, and Owen jumped to obey.

Catching Owen’s wrists, Carlos yanked them to his back, slapped on the cuffs, and spun Owen toward the door with impressive strength.

“What are the charges?” Owen managed to squeak, and without pausing the frog march, Carlos leaned in to whisper.

“TK texted me. Keep walking and I’ll tell you in the car.”

“Are you freaking serious?” TK couldn’t quite wrap his head around Carlos’ choice to arrest his father in the middle of a crowded restaurant. “You couldn’t have just said his son was sick and needed him? Or, I don’t know, anything but dragging him out in cuffs?!”

Carlos shrugged, dishing food from take out containers onto plates. “Well, I’m pretty sure there’s no chance that woman he wanted to get away from will be calling him now. Do you want salad, or just steamed vegetables?”

TK gave his head a shake, but Carlos did have a point. “Just vegetables,” he answered. “Was my dad mad?”

Carlos slid the plates aside. “No, in fact he thought it was petty funny once we got out to my car,” Carlos grinned, stepping into TK's space, kissing his forehead, cheek, and then his lips, long and slow. “I also think he was impressed.”

“Mmmmn…” TK moaned, reaching around to squeeze Carlos' ass.

“He asked me why I was wearing my uniform home,” Carlos murmured into the crook of TK's neck, “I told him it's because it makes you crazy for me.”

TK squirmed, backing up out of Carlos' hold.

“Wait-ew! Don’t tell my dad that Carlos!”

Carlos gave him a devilish grin, pulling TK back to him roughly. “It's true isn’t it?”

TK melted into Carlos' arms, shuddering as Carlos nipped at his shoulder and neck. “It's true,” he moaned, “So true!”

“Good,” Carlos said, “and now you owe me, so let’s eat fast, then take this to the bedroom. You can be the second Strand I cuff tonight.”

TK’s groaned loudly, the growing fire in his belly doused.

“That was gross Carlos! Now you ruined handcuffs for me!”

Carlos tightened his grip on TK, forgetting about dinner, and manhandling his boyfriend toward the bedroom.

“No I didn’t,” Carlos growled, and with an excited a squeal, TK agreed.

[honeyssweetened]

This has (sadly) been 90% of my experience with men

"He said 'she knows her worth too much 😡' because the woman is standing on business"