#bc imagine liking someone you know is actively lying to you

[moonsnqil]

extremely embarrassing that andrew had a crush on neil

[miksterrr]

headcannon that lloyd was able to feel when the ninja reached their true potentials.

Okay just hear me out here-

Lloyd was able to harness their elements at first, right?

And like I know there's a headcannon out there where Lloyd's like an empath and whatever bc of his element- but who's to say it couldn't reach more?

Like just imagine- he's just sitting in that cage the serpentine put him in when suddenly he's absolutely freezing, like dead of winter, negative degrees, kind of feel but he also feels powerful and even though he's only known the ninja for like a month at this point he can just tell it's zane-

can feel the pure relief at knowing at something that finally comes to light- and something in his mind is reaching and reaching and trying to connect with him with the absolute freezing power in his veins and trying to reach out to zane for someone to rescue him-

but that feeling's gone as soon as it arrived.

and then like a week later than feeling comes again but it's different but just as powerful as the first time- this time it's electricity rushing up his bones, making his hairs stand on edge, and he feels so energized yet completely drained at the same time- it almost feels warm (like a summer storm) but it's only flashes of warmth compared to the complete freezing of zane's-

but just like zane he knew it was jay, he knew by the absolute excitement he felt and the utter relief and shock speeding right alongside the electricity- he knew that whatever was going on was jay's power- his element reaching out to him for some fucking reason-

once again, that feeling is gone as soon as it arrived.

at this point he's waiting, anticipating feeling that same connection with cole or kai

and what do you know, a week in a half goes by and suddenly it's like he can move mountains. it feels almost more powerful that before, that the he can crush the cage with just his hands but he can't- there's warmth traveling up his veins this time, it's slow-moving but it's a constant warmth opposed to the electricity and it's a nice kind of warmth too, one that doesn't set him on fire or make him panic, it's one that he knows-

it feels like cole's hugs. he's maybe gotten two hugs from the older teen, but this warmth and strength and powerful he's feeling feels just like cole's hugs and he doesn't know what to do with this knowledge- the memory of cole's hug or the same feeling of relief that jay and zane had, along with lingering feelings of contentedness and connection- once again lloyd feels himself reaching for this power for this feeling of relief-

and it falls away just as quickly.

even though lloyd still doesn't under what exactly these connections are- he knows he's waiting for kai, he's waiting and waiting and waiting and yet almost two weeks go by and there's still no sign of power and relief from kai-

it's not until he's lying in bed still reeling from the fact that he's the green ninja when he remembers the feeling. it was overshadowed by his own fear and acceptance and relief but now he knows kai was also feeling the same-

lloyd remembers feeling heat and fire shoot up his body like it didn't know where else to go- he remembers feeling hot, and now he knows it wasn't just because he was in an active volcano- it was definitely part of it but it was also a different kind of heat- it was more similar to cole's but it was also angry and rushing and safe-

and that's how lloyd knew it wasn't only the volcano, because he's only felt that safe with kai before and he remembers that feeling only blooming when kai picked him up he remembers the shared feeling of acceptance and fear and how it was intertwined with the heat- lloyd remembers how that connection unfurled until he could almost see it- where it connected between him and kai and that was the moment lloyd knew kai was his protector- that all of them were meant to protect and mentor him-

the feeling fell away as soon as they landed on the bounty.

but- it was still there- a single minute thread that connected them together- that connected all of them together. lloyd knew if he just tugged on the thread that connected to zane or jay or cole, he'd feel that same kind of power that connected them all those weeks ago.

He doesn't realize what this meant until he started harnessing their elements as well- he doesn't realize until he hears the prophecy of the green ninja again and knows it was meant for him.

unbeknownst to lloyd but the connection works both ways.

the ninja didn't feel each other's true potential or felt what lloyd was feeling in their moment- but they felt lloyd's.

Kai is the only one that was aware of it when it happened, as the other were under the possession of dark matter, but he knew- he felt laces of gold and green threading under his skin and there was energy that he didn't know what to do with- he remembers acceptance and sorrow and relief and conviction- he remembers reaching out to this energy- trying to connect with trying to make it last enough to hear his apologizes-

it's gone as soon as it came.

It takes them all years to realize what it was- it's not until Lloyd was talking about true potentials with Arin and Sora and Wyldfire and the rest of them swapping their stories of them reaching their true potentials do they realize that lloyd was able to feel when they reached theirs and vice versa.

[thegoldencontracts]

ONE OF MY TWST OCS IS A TOTAL TSUNDERE WHAT THE HELL

Make twst tsundere content, I DARE you(I'd say I'd match you with content of my own, however it is drama and science finals week and I'd rather not burn myself out on more than one front bc my english final is next week. So I will not guarantee that lmao BUT STILL THAT SOUNDS AWESOME MAKE THAT CONTENT I WILL EAT IT UP)

- thoughtlessdesires

THANK YOU SOMEONE ELSE WHO UNDERSTANDSSSSS

Hello, you there, yes, YOU 🫵 can help make tsundere twst by uhh... idek man it's tsundere twst,,, it's cuteee i swearrr imagine THIS:

I-It's Not Like I Like You!

Summary: The Housewardens deal with their affection in the oddest of ways.

Notes: This is a taste of what we can make possible GUYS tsundere!twst is cute and it's not ridiculously ooc or smth like that i SWEAR- Also the last sentence in Azul's part is literally ripped straight from the third part of his dorm vignette (the tsundere potential of this man is so understated guys PLEASE let me yap here I have a point-)

Night Raven College; a place of raw meritocracy. Sentiment is rarely found, and affection is often mocked. Logic and strength are meant to take priority, and discord between students is common.

So what happens where these students find someone who treats them with kindness, understanding.

...Completely flounder, of course.

The housewardens, during one of their meetings, even discussed the dearest Ramshackle Prefect, so odd, so understanding. Kalim had brought the topic up, of course.

"...Why's this important?" Leona had said, a bored look on his face.

"I-Indeed," Riddle said. "The Prefect isn't particularly relevant to our current topic of discussion, regardless of accomplishments."

Azul sighed in his typical, overdramatic manner of his.

"How cold!" he said. "Kalim was merely doing his duty to discuss the needs of all students, regardless of how-"

His nose wrinkled.

"Talentless."

"Well, the Prefect's not that bad." A lukewarm praise. Even Kalim wasn't speaking highly of the Prefect? Just what was going on here?

"A total normie," Idia had said.

"It's true, the potato could use some work," Vil said,

Wow. These housewardens sure did hate you, didn't they?

Wrong! At that moment, all of the, were lying! They liked you. And no one in that room had any clue how to deal with it.

Riddle hasn't ever really got to experience relationships due to the stifling pressure of his mother. Thus, he has absolutely no clue how to handle the sudden affection for you he feels. He'd often stop by Ramshackle to help you with your homework. Just because you happened to need it way more than the others, of course. N-No ulterior motives here. What do you mean 'his face is red'? You're just imagining things!

Leona's always been treated like a cold, uncaring individual, and that's what he's used to. That leaves him completely flabbergasted when you suddenly start making him lovesick. He happens to "accidentally" drop money and the like while you were near. Not that he wants to help you, of course! He just doesn't really care about the money that much. Why're you looking at him like that? He's not that kind of sap!

Azul's childhood's left him used to rejection. After so long of being mocked for any desire of love and companionship, he's shunned it. Love's just business to him, an easily exploitable emotion. So he'll never be able to admit it now that he's the exploitable one. He gives you stuff... for free? Since when did he do that? Ask him about it and he insists he's just doing it for business' sake. What kind of business? Is he sure he doesn't just like you? W-What sort of foolish questions are those? Do you honestly think him capable of such an illogical sentiment as "attachment"?

Kalim, of course, isn't immune. Even he doesn't understand this. Someone actively returning his kindness? He's absolutely in love, and he doesn't know how to handle it. Although he won't be quite as abrasive as the others, he'll definitely struggle to admit his feelings. He might actually be less nice to you than to others. Not in a rude way, of course, he's just a bit quiet because he's always so flustered around you! Can you blame him?

Vil, too, despite his normal mentality of being candid and mature, struggles to handle his affection. He'll buy you skincare and the like. B-But, he'd do this for anyone, of course. There's nothing particularly special about the way he feels for you! Once again, though he isn't particularly defensive, he'll definitely struggle to admit his feelings, and it causes him boatloads of internal conflict. Why's he being so immature all of a sudden?

Idia doesn't get you. Why'd some normie suddenly have to start talking to him? J-Jeez, it's not like he enjoys your company or anything! Idia can vaguely recognize the word 'tsundere' in his head as he mulls over his interactions with you, but he denies it. Denying his feelings? U-Uh, what feelings?

"Looks like you have some competition, huh?"

"What competition, Lilia?" Malleus's face twisted in displeasure. "The Child Of Man- they're merely a friend."

Malleus doesn't know how to feel. He's never really had these sorts of close relationships before, so when his heart pounds around you and sparks seem to fly, he has no clue what to do. He's so deep in denial, partially due to his obliviousness when it comes to matters of sentiment and partially due to how he's used to being intimidating, and blushing like a schoolgirl around one's crush is the opposite of intimidating.

[eunandonly]

exhibit a : you

୨୧ ; you and riki, on a date solving murder cases gone cold? that’s going to end in another murder!

pairing! criminaljusticemajor!riki x criminologymajor!reader | wc. 0.9k | warnings: atempted humour, incorrect law and forensic terms, homicide mentions EN-

🖇️ : riki version finally!! sorry it took so long ㅜㅜ

riki has been majoring in criminal justice for some time now

you two never really talked properly, most of your conversations were trivial things like “can i borrow your pencil” or “when does this lecture end”

you never expected your first proper conversation with him to be an argument about who can solve a cold case faster

"of course i can solve it the fastest, what are you talking about, y/n?"

that just pisses you off bc who does he think he is

let's be so fr why is he so full of himself?

you had just been listening in on his conversation about a case study and you couldn't help but jump in

and riki had the audacity to mock you

"you're really going to stick with that theory? it's clearly wrong- come on, even i know that."

you were ready to bash his pretty little face in

bc your theory about the jane doe case is definitely right dafuq.

the time window, the evidence, the interview transcripts... it all fits your narrative

and the more you and riki discuss the case, the more convinced riki is that your theory MIGHT be right

of course he won't admit that though

but when you start talking about livor mortis he can't help but stare at you with hearts in his eyes

like DAMN he loves girls who recite shit like that as if it's the alphabet

one day you're just packing up your bag to leave after a lecture when riki comes over

"hey, you wanna study with me this evening? get some work done on the cold case project?"

riki's tryna be all nonchalant but he's screaming inside PLEASE SAY YES PLEASE SAY YES

you say yes.

you two meet at riki’s dorm room and tbh it’s kinda messy in there

i imagine criminology major riki to have lots of books regarding criminal law and stuff lying about everywhere and js have a lot of stuff in general

like the only place that’s not covered by some book or paper of some sort is the bed because he needs sleep (but he stays up till 5am anyways)

he probably listens to true crime podcasts all night

riki and you start get into your work right away but both of you keep getting carried away bickering

don’t worry it’s just playful banter ☺️

“i said stfu his rigor mortis had only started on the head and neck of the body but livor mortis had fully set- that's just says that someone manipulated the factors”

you’re just sitting on his bed pointing at the case file and trying to prove your point

riki’s smart but dense at the same time

you both have some genuinely concerning conversation starters

“oh yeah so this girl apparently got burned alive on a wooden pole outside a school campus!”

"do you think the car air conditioner will be cold enough to use during the winter when trying to onset rigor mortis of the body?"

"if someone dug up a already dead body murdered by someone else and re-buried it to hide it from the officials, what charges would they get?"

you guys say it so casually too like you're discussing what to have for dinner

you always thought riki was cool and had a little liking for him but working on a project together and really made the feelings more intense

sure he’s an annoying little menace who’s way too stubborn

but he’s smart. and he’s pretty.

you really are going to bash his pretty face in one day.

even when you two are not working on the project you two meet up in each other’s dorm rooms to play games, talk, etc

like you two make plans to meet up at your room to play fortnite (you carry his ass through the game)

oh but he won't admit that

i feel like riki would prefer staying in for these types of activities

you know those little packages of fake crime cases you can buy to investigate and stuff?

that's what you and riki do on friday nights except it's not a fake crime

it's all real

you guys research serial murder cases, disappearances that went cold YEARS ago, heists... the list just goes on and on

yeah but these little dates are probably going to become a homicide case itself

no bc why is riki not shutting up his narrative is so wrong

he ends up confessing to you at the end of the month after both of you submitted the most beautiful thesis on a double homicide case

you got lots of help from riki on the criminal law aspects of it and you helped him with the profiling and forensics part

"no y/n, he would be charged for perverting the course of justice, what are you on?"

“riki, stop being such a dumbass. the offender and the victim had no connection whatsoever.”

riki was so scared to confess to you, he was overthinking for days straight instead of sleeping at night

so for your first date you just have him come over to your dorm and make a murder board with you

not exactly a common first date activity but both of you have fun with red string and evidence so it’s fine

you and riki later on create your own true crime podcast except you're not just talking about the crime

you're both solving them (agggtm anyone?)

i'd like to think that you and riki's podcasts went viral and everyone gushing over you two

you and riki just make a really cute couple

[evilkitten3]

man the wave arc must've been a trip for sasuke even before the actual fight on the bridge.

imagine some old man lying to you and endangering (understandably tho) you and your fellow twelve-year-olds and then guilting you about how if he dies his poor daughter will be left all alone and then you go to his how and meet her and her disillusioned rage-filled son who watched his father's brutal murder and became trapped in an obsessive hateful spiral bc he couldn't even imagine a world in which the monster who ruined his life would ever cease to be present in every waking misery-filled moment of his pitiful life and then your dumbest friend yells at him for not trying to punch his way out of crushing systemic oppression and you aren't really paying attention to any of that bc his mom is uncannily similar to your mom in just enough ways that you're totally fine spending as much time Not Dealing With That and climbing trees instead

and then you do go to the bridge and you get fucked up so bad your magic eyes activate (actually they already activated but you don't know that bc your dickweed brother was too busy traumatizing you to say "oh hey nice sharingan good job sasuke") and then your stupid idiot orange-wearing jerkwad teammate who won't leave you alone and also kissed you once barges in like a stupid orange-wearing idiot and you fling yourself in front of him as a meatshield and hope someone else deals with your dickweed brother bc you probably just got yourself killed for this idiot

and then you wake up and everybody except your team is dead and your other teammate is crying bc she thought you were dead but it turns out the guy who killed you (who also looks a little bit like your mom but maybe you're just losing it and anyway he's got a hole in his chest now so who cares) was too nice to kill you and the last time someone could've killed you but didn't for some reason it went Super Great so you kinda just wanna go home and sleep for like a week but before you can do that the townspeople name the bridge after your dumb teammate even tho as far as you're aware you're the one who nearly died for it and the rest of your team looks basically ok while you are literally covered in holes but sure fine whatever

and then you go home and it turns out that everything just gets worse forever

[weebsinstash]

Alright bestie I’m on that shit again

So yandere Superman, right? Like obviously your fucked. The only other yandere in existence that might just be able to keep you from him is Batman, but even then he’d probably sooner work together just to ensure your safety- but that’s a prompt for another day.

Back to yan Superman, imagine you’re his darling and he is “keeping you safe”. But one day, you get snatched up by some organization that wants to use you as leverage or some shit, but you are just sobbing in relief at maybe being free- only to have Superman show up and do some not so super things to everyone who “stole” you

There are just so many casually horrifying things about Superman that people don't realize until you start like digging into his lore. "Oh he's super strong and a super fast flyer" actually he can do basically anything at those super speeds to the point he can literally even PROCESS THOUGHTS at near light-speed which means he has Absolutely Terrifying reaction times and can make plans and schemes on a dime, which, you know, can be even better utilized by him being intelligent. He has natural invulnerability so if you throw a punch at him too hard you could literally shatter the bones in your hand and he can't even control that, like you could literally hurt yourself with him on accident! He can see across INSANE DISTANCES and his x-ray vision doesn't have like a set range so he could do anything from, peep inside buildings to spy on you, to looking under your clothing for any bruises or injuries or even self harm marks, to peeking behind your hero disguise to learn your true identity, to seeing if there's anything inside your stomach and seeing if you're eating properly. Like jesus christ he literally found out Lois was pregnant from waking up one morning and suddenly hearing the heartbeat of the FETUS, there's literally nothing from him pulling that stereotypical "I know you're nervous or lying or afraid because I can literally hear your heartbeat increase" scary bullshit

And let's talk about Lois for a sec because my god her death was literally what kicked off the Injustice timeline? And there are other forms of Superman media where she just straight up dies naturally of cancer! Sure we could take the easy way and say "in this au Lois never existed or was just Clark's friend and he loved YOU" (which is my preferred default tbh bc, no competition for Reader lol) but I mean if you're going for that angst, that real whump, a yandere Clark Kent that just lost his wife/unborn child to either the Injustice incident or cancer, now overcome with grief? And in those cancer timelines they usually already have a son, Jonathan, and sometimes Jordan, and here's Clark thinking, well, his boy needs a mother, and he's got these weird feelings for you, and lil Jonny clearly has affection for you, maybe bring a bit of a platonic yan himself who sees you as either a big sister or even a secondary mom, so... be his wife maybe?

Like my god if Reader somehow helped him through the grief of losing Lois and managed to avoid "fully activating" Superman's anime villain arc, like he's going full fascist in the Injustice 2 Bad Ending, then some shit DEFINITELY goes down when Reader gets taken away. It just reactivates all his trauma. No! He can't lose anyone else! Jonathan can't lose anyone else! You're not just someone he loves, you're his FRIEND!

You're just huddled in whatever cell you've been kept in with your black eyes and bruises and knuckles bloodied from trying to fight back when you hear Clark's voice and you look up with excitement that just falls immediately off your face because holy shit did he just unlock that thumbprint scanner with a severed arm, and suddenly you're realizing there are other shades of red on his costume and dripping from his fingers

I can only imagine like, ngl I considered a sequel to my fic Doubt where Reader escapes the manor and runs into Supernan as the only other person who can protect you, so here we would have the inverse: you're the only one who knows about Clark's increasing instability and, while you still have your own freedom and autonomy, try to speak to Bruce about it, and now you have Batman Vs Superman: Competing For Your Heart Edition. I can only imagine what sort of unhinged reactions there would be if you think you've got Batman alone and you're beginning to cry all "Bruce I'm really worried about Clark, he isn't acting like himself, there's something wrong with him" and. Clark is like literally using his x-ray vision to read lips through the walls if he can't use his super hearing to outright eavesdrop.

Of course as you suggested, I'm always a slut for ideas with"oh shit I ran to this guy to help me and he's ALSO crazy, now they're teaming up and I'm in some weird shared/poly situation with TWO nutjobs". Lmao you go to Bruce concerned about Kal and Bruce goes to confront him and Clark just drops "did you know Y/N has been hiding self harm cuts under their hero suit also wow they smoke HELLA weed and im worried about their lungs and all the stuff they do when they're alone that no one else knows about 🥺" and suddenly here's Bruce " thanks i hate this actually :)" and there's a scheme concted to spy on you or move you elsewhere.

I've even thought of "Reader oh nooOoooOo, that, giant monster or villain attack or whatever also coincidentally destroyed your shitty little apartment complex? You mean Clark 'accidently' got sent flying into your building or smacked some giant creature into it and now you don't have a place to live? And you're broke too? Oh no 🥺 Well, BATMAN has this nice big house with lots of room in for you to stay toooootally 'temporarily', we PROMISE uwu"

Batman is the one who can put a tracking chip injected into your skin or even disguised as a filling in one of your teeth, and Superman is the one who can zoom off to rescue you/retrieve you "faster than a speeding bullet". I think one of the only people who could bring them down together at that point would be like. Fucking DARKSEID and, Jesus no, you definitely don't want HIM treating you as a pet 😭 the evil Batman that was brainwashed by him in the Apokolips War movie was scary enough (and scary HOT, lmao, let him keep me as some sort of prize and the only luxury Darkseid will allow him as a reward for his obedience. Lord Batman goes from having a meeting talking about like enslaving people to returning to his quarters and railing tf outta you because he's still holding onto some slim vestiges of humanity where he cares about you but also using you as his personal anti stress fuck toy)

[saintsenara]

Also would love to know what you think of Lily/&Sirius as well! I can totally see the slight resentment on his part you mentioned but i loveee the letter Harry finds in DH. AND tell me your thoughts on jilypad bc I just need to dig your brain

thank you very much for the ask, pal!

i know this was prompted by me saying - while discussing jily - that my preferred version of lily and sirius' relationship is one in which sirius resents lily for stealing the love of his life [and i don't mean lupin!] away from him. so i think it's worth clarifying what i mean by this:

because i certainly don't think that sirius' resentment towards lily would be overt - i don't think he'd ever be openly hostile towards her, i don't think he'd do anything to undermine james and lily's relationship, and i don't think he'd ever be anything other than sincerely delighted that james was so happy. he evidently values the relationship he has with lily - enough to have kept her letters somewhere he could retrieve after his sojourn in azkaban [the most plausible date of the letter harry finds in deathly hallows is august 1981, which means that we know sirius wasn't living at grimmauld place when it was written. this is something he's stored deliberately, rather than something he had just lying around.] - and i don't propose that he was pretending.

what i think, instead, is that sirius' canonical tendency towards suffering and abiding would make him actively want to cheerlead jily's relationship. he's someone who clearly believes that it's honourable to make sacrifices and that his own happiness is subordinate to the greater good. and while this is all very noble, it's also an enormous - and somewhat toxic - burden for someone like lily to bear.

i like the idea of sirius - much like his narrative mirror, snape - having an extraordinarily idealised view of lily which the real lily struggles to live up to [which provides an interesting watsonian explanation for why he only mentions her once in canon - the doylist reason is just that the series needs to obscure lily's centrality to the mystery for as long as it can, but it's much more fun to imagine that sirius actually knows nothing about the version of lily he didn't construct in his head]. i also like the idea of him struggling constantly with guilt over how he secretly would like to see james and lily split up, so that he could comfort james with tender forehead kisses [and much, much more...]

when it comes to lilypad as something non-platonic, then, my preferred version of the ship is one in which sirius and lily end up together after she survives voldemort's attack [and is, therefore, able to exonerate sirius by revealing that wormtail was the secret keeper] as an extraordinarily unhealthy way of dealing with the earth-shattering weight of their mutual grief. this doesn't mean that i think it would be an abusive or toxic relationship - nor that it couldn't last - but that it would be a... strange and quite melancholy one, haunted constantly by james' ghost.

which means, i suppose, that it's also my preferred version of jilypad. i don't like it as a triad when it's just written as really happy and flawless [well-functioning polygamy takes introspection, and none of these three strike me as possessing that ability...], but i do like it as a mess.

[psychabolition]

Hi. I was the person who sent the ask about what needs to be done instead of psychiatry. I only just read your response now. In the time between sending the ask and now I’ve done a lot more research into anti-psychiatry and psych abolition. I understand how it’s an oppressive system and how it harms people. I agree with the need to dismantle it. But as soon as I read the response to my ask I broke down crying.

You talk about the importance of community. Or being able to rely on friends in times of crisis rather than therapists and psychiatrists. I have no community. No friends. I used to think I was okay with that. But I guess I was lying to myself. I am considered distasteful to be around. Scratch that, I actively make myself distasteful to be around. Because then I can at least expect people to inevitably hate me rather than have high expectations and be let down every single time. I’m desperately waiting for my therapy appointment in two days. I know I need someone better. Someone who I can actually tell that I cut myself a couple days ago without them deciding that I need everything I love taken away from me for who knows how long. But I fear I will never have someone better. I fear that even my therapist only tolerates talking to me because they’re paid to tolerate it.

You post about the importance of community if we are to break free from oppressive systems. How do we build that community? How?

Hey !! Thank you for your ask !

I totally understand you . Like I literally know exactly what thats like , trust me.

Ik that "community" is such a vague word that it almost sounds meaningless . Like wtf is that? In my opinion most people just have work colleagues or school mates or other students in their lectures and then go home to a nuclear family or to their partner - this is not "living in community" 💀💀💀. Most people dont live in community, our society (at least western societies like in europe - idk about others) is so fucking alienating . Any emotional connection is replaced w a hierarchy - teacher, prof, therapist, the nuclear family , your boss at work, even intimate relationships with a partner are like that in our patriarchal society . And then the people who you are on the same page as, youre pit against them - you need to be better than your work colleagues to get that promotion or at least so you dont get fired, you need to be able to pass that test alone in university/school otherwise you fall behind your peers or are literally excluded from visiting school/uni , a lot of friendships between women (or FLINTA* to be more accurate) fall apart because of cis men ... FUCK this society .

And then theres those of us that dont fit into this bullshit society. I dont care for a career in a job that will definitely bore me to death or overwork me till suicide and I have 0 interest in creating my own nuclear family after all the awful bullshit Ive had to endure because of the one I was born into. Like these are the 2 life options for us . Of course I was suicidal all the time as a teenager😭I couldnt imagine a future in a world where these are the only options in life !!!! Why are so many people NOT insane ? Who actually likes living this way ????? And if we cant or dont want to submit to "career via education and/or nuclear family" we're worth nothing in this society . We're ostracized ,isolated, stigmatized .

What Im dealing w right now is also connected to all that . the nuclear family that I grew up in wants to stop supporting me financially bc I dont submit to societal expectations of career and education .💀 a lot of my friends are also struggling w literally paying rent bc their parents randomly stopped giving them money for similiar reasons, its awful . This is why the nuclear family is the opposite of community to me. I'd do anything for my friends so they dont go homeless or without food or without support no matter their life choices and especially if they struggle I want to be there for them MORE not less .FUCK our parents fuck the nuclear family . They all slowly start to cut us off and make our lives hell because they dont fucking care about us and they never did .

Anyway . You dont have to built a new community obviously. So the question you need to ask yourself is - where does community still/already exist in your area ? Especially for those of us who deviate A LOT from social norms and "normal" life experiences . I can only talk about myself - Ive found solace in Subcultures that are from and for people who deviate extremely from social norms. Ive linked another ask that Ive answered where I listed all the subcultures that Ive somehow somewhen have heard people around me be a part of. Ik that it can also be very hard to get to be a part of those subcultures if youre not used to being around people (especially groups) but literally . Just keep trying, any subculture thats made up out of outcasts is very welcoming and very accepting. Also usually (at least in my experience) the subcultures are all conntected which is really cool because once you know people from one community you start to know a lot of people from other communities too ! It can still take time though . For me it only took 1 good friendship to a person whos in a subculture in my city to get to know many other people who are all actually part of a real community.

If you have a political subject that youre passionate about like anti psych or abolishing prisons or if there are other subjects that are important to you (animal liberation, youth liberation, climate crisis, queerfeminism , ... ?) I highly recommend a political group as a way to find community and to get into the subcultures in your area . You'll finally stop feeling powerless against oppressive institutions if you manage to actually change something through activism . Any and all activism also connects you a lot to the place that youre living in and the people with similiar struggles around you. Go to Antifa or communists - they have open meetings for newcomers all the time . Or try to join any other subculture - read the ask that I linked !! If youre queer for example thats awesome - go to a queer event Now . Being queer has always had so much culture, so much community .

Also trust me youre not awful to be around . You'll realize that youre actually cool to be around when you spend time w your friends and they appreciate you . and youll also stop having thoughts and fears about not being able to trust them or about them judging you or about how it must be awful to spend time with you (or whatever else you might think) when you have fun spending time together and you regularly see each other and you value each others time. You just havent met your people yet. Dont worry , you will.

[the-bi-space-ace]

Now that Blind Trust is complete I have a really angsty thought to leave you with that was spurred on by a comment on Ao3.

Under the cut because it is long, angsty, and talks about blood, injury, and possible death. Get ready for some whump.

At the end of Chapter 4 Hunter drags Crosshair onto the Marauder. The batch has no idea what Echo and Crosshair have been through only that Echo is critically injured, he’s bleeding, and he’s unconscious. He’s been hit. They need to get him stable and fast. Meanwhile Hunter has Crosshair who is screaming, sobbing, and begging to be let go. He has bandages wrapped around his eyes.

The batch doesn’t know what’s going on.

But they know they’re getting shot at and every second they spend trying to calm Crosshair - who is having quite the emotional meltdown - that’s one less second they have to tend to Echo who is actively dying. So they sedate him. And, truthfully, I think Crosshair would’ve been fine if they let him sit on the floor while Tech and Wrecker worked on getting Echo stable. I think he would’ve found a part of Echo to keep his hand on and stayed out of the way and been fine for the duration of their flight.

However, the batch doesn’t know this. They can’t be sure he won’t continue having this response and knock stuff over or hurt himself or someone else without meaning to. So they sedate him. And it’s not the nicest choice but it was the one they thought made the most sense at the time.

This got me thinking about how this must be the first time they’ve seen Crosshair cry in a really long time. He’s sobbing. He’s screaming. He’s clawing Hunter’s hands to get away. And he’s in such a state of panic that it must’ve made the rest of them start to panic in their own ways.

I don’t write the scene in the fic (I left it open bc of perspective but also bc I like letting people fill it in on their own) but I’ve always imagined that when Hunter carries a sedated Crosshair away and they’re no longer getting shot at Hunter goes back to sit with him. He can hear Tech and Wrecker working with Echo and he’s afraid for him but he hasn’t seen Crosshair cry in a long time. And he’s never seen him sob like that.

So Hunter sits with him. And he tries not to imagine what hell those two have just went through. He tries to listen in on how Echo is doing. He tries to keep it together.

And finally this comment. I love this comment. Thank you for this comment.

I do think Echo would scold them for sedating Crosshair in that moment. For not trying to explain to him what’s happening. He needed reassurance and they stripped that from him. And Echo would have words to say.

I’d like to imagine that it’s Crosshair who tells him about those last moments. He’s lying in Echo’s cot because he can’t stand being alone in the other room. And he has his head on Echo’s shoulder. And he just hasn’t talked much. So Echo asks. He asks and he doesn’t really expect an answer.

But after some light prodding Crosshair tells him. He says that he thought Echo had died. He thought he was gone and he lost it. After everything that happened and everything they did he lost it so bad he thought the world was ending. And then they sedated him and he was sure by the time he woke Echo would be gone and he’d never get the chance to say goodbye.

He wanted five minutes and they couldn’t give him that.

Echo’s heart breaks but his chest burns. He tightens his arm around Crosshair and reaffirms that they made it. The medics are healing them and everything is fine. But he doesn’t sleep much that night. When the medics come to take Crosshair for some testing Echo is left alone with the batch and he lets them have it.

Not really because they deserve it but because he can imagine how frightened and alone Crosshair must have felt. He knows the solitude and silence hurt physically, mentally, emotionally. And they didn’t even try to talk to him or explain. He didn’t have his eyes to guide him, to prove anything. They could’ve taken a few seconds to explain.

And they all look gutted. So distraught that Echo’s temper simmers long enough to hear their explanation.

They thought they were losing Echo. And Crosshair was so torn apart they were afraid it would break him to have to hear what they were doing to keep Echo alive. Afraid he’d hear Echo’s lungs collapse again and panic. Afraid he’d just be harmed further by listening.

And Hunter just looks destroyed. He hasn’t defended himself but he looks close to crying. So much closer than Echo has ever seen. So I think he makes Hunter sit on the edge of the cot so he can explain to him in detail how much of this wasn’t his fault. He’s trusted Hunter’s decisions before and he trusts them now even if he doesn’t always agree.

Because he knows how much it hurts to watch someone you love fall apart at the seams. It’s messy and leaves you feeling hollow and nothing you do really makes you feel better about it.

Echo will go into full protector mode when he finds out. He’ll lose his temper and demand an explanation. He still may not agree with the choice they made but he sees how hurt they are and will feel that tug to protect them too.

Because he loves them. All of them. And they never once stopped looking.

[fandombead]

Sanders Sides human AU where they’re all camp counselors at some backwoods Alphabet soup upstate summer camp—

Camp Sandside

Also locally known as Camp Mindscape

C!Thomas is the newest camp director trying to keep the camp funded and running every year. He advertises and keeps in touch with people who help everything work out each year.

Logan is head of schedule and morning role call. He makes sure camp has an educational side to it, so they have something to take away. He enjoys accompanying on the nature hikes and takes their slightly older campers stargazing. You can find him usually hanging out in the camp archives and he can answer any question about its history.

He coordinates camper activities with Patton, who is the poster child for Campy Dad-Counselor™️. Patton knows every campfire song ever how to make 477 different crafts from sticks and rocks you can find in the forest. He is good at wrangling the kids and making any activity fun so everyone gets included. He’s excited to be there every day. He’s been there the longest and has dappled in every other job as needed.

Remus runs all the sport activities and Roman throws together a little theater group production for the parents at the end of the summer. Both twins help each other out for those activities depending on whose day it is. They also keep up the Canteen and craft workshop. They tell the best campfire stories. (Fun fact: they went to this camp as kids and are working here now during college)

Virgil’s shadowing Patton with first aid as a trainee nurse and handles safety protocols/checks. He’s just stressed out trying to keep everyone alive till the end of the summer. He particularly sticks around at the sport fields, lake, and obstacle course. He barely sleeps and runs on caffeine and spite. He enjoys playing guitar for the kids at campfire time. He makes sure everyone wears sunscreen, is drinking enough water, and that no one wanders off from the group.

And not least of all, Janus, who is the mental health counselor and resolves incident cases between campers. He also is someone the other camp counselors can confide in because the job is draining. He makes sure everyone is taking care of themselves and not doing too much, short-staffed as they are. Camp has run much more smoothly since they added him to their team and everyone is happier for it after getting used to the changes.

They all really enjoy the work and each other. What started as an interesting, versatile summer job that let them hangout together turned into a fun tradition they were quite invested in. Every summer is a memorable one and they look forward to it every year.

I just think it’d be a fun story setting, a series of glimpses at camp life with chapters dedicated to silly or fun happenings at the camp. For some reason all that are coming to me is chapters that sound like history event logs and just imagine it’s because the twins hijacked Logan’s documentation of them and rewrote them with more flair and drama. The Hiking Disaster of 21’. Battle at…Vine Lake (okay maybe not the name but I WILL work Vine in somewhere—maybe that’s the name of the theatre). The Kayak Wars. Surviving the Storm. Bear-ly Active.

(Actually half the chapters will be puns and you’ll know Patton had a hand at assisting the twins’ shenanigans for those retellings~)

Depending on the number of campers, they might also each be head of a cabin and in charge of 3-5 campers specifically on top of everything else that they manage to make good connections with even the most unlikely campers by the end of the summer. (I mostly thought of this just because I wanted an excuse for Logan to be head of the ‘Crofters Cabin’ bwahahaha)

I want Campy adventures!!!

Side notes expanding on the AU bc I have tons of scattered ideas:

I also had the alternative (/prequel? With a few tweaks) idea where some or all of them are campers instead and they meet at the summer camp years before they decide to work there~ ^^

I think that’d be a great story too, where they become lifelong friends in the end and grow to be glad they got sent to this weird old camp for the summer and just have a great time after getting through a few challenges. And they go back every year to see each other again.

Patton calls the campers “saplings” and other nature/tree related nicknames

Their camp shirts have a white star border in black incorporated on the front with the Camp Acronym and everyone styles theirs differently (example: Remus cut the short sleeves off of his)

I imagine they have a rival camp too that every one of them is personally invested in beating yearly, as you do in Camp media. (Alt version where it’s “light” vs “dark” sides camps)

Logan got stuck up a tree once as a kid camper and they still haven’t let him live it down. There’s a photo of it in the archives he keeps trying to get rid of but someone keeps replacing it every year. They call him Pinecone and Lookout 🤣 (Forest Watch)

Janus was someone they never expected to see again. He came to camp in their last years of being campers and joined the group through Remus and Patton. After some getting used to him (Roman and Virgil kept butting heads with him), they were tentatively friends…Roman saved him when he fell in the lake and Janus came in clutch and saved their team at the camp games! they kinda took one step back when he joined as counselor, but they worked it out eventually for good that time~

The twins have a fun rivalry they try to drag their friends into every year…even as counselors now 😂 there’s always some sort of competition going on with them, especially when they start being heads of their own cabins and take pride in their little campers destroying the other teams (but especially each others’)

I think each cabin has a little flag the campers remake every year hanging out front, featuring the animal trait and color of each counselor in charge. Tentative Ideas:

Logan’s Cabin: Team Crofter (of Discovery Cabin). Campers have dark blue bandannas/necklaces

Patton’s Cabin: Team Friendship (of Amity/Compassion Cabin). Campers have light blue bandannas/bracelets

Roman’s Cabin: Team Braveheart (of Ambition Cabin). Campers have red bandannas/necklaces

Remus’s Cabin: Team Chaos (of Endeavor/Spontaneity Cabin). Campers have green bandannas/bracelets

Virgil’s Cabin: Team Storm (of Vigilance Cabin). Campers have purple bandannas/necklaces

Janus’s Cabin: Team Serpent (of Accord/Cunning Cabin). Campers have yellow bandannas/bracelets

They collabed on these name ideas themselves~ The twins’ cabins also relate to one another.

Roman’s theme is having goals and dreams and Remus’s theme is trying ways to reach them, not giving up when it doesn’t work the first time. Together they encourage campers to find something they wanna try that’s new and going for it~

You can probably pair Virgil and Logan’s cabins + Janus and Patton’s in a similar way of their themes relating or balancing each other.

Every year you return to camp, you get a charm to add to your bracelet/necklace (typically all moved to whatever cabin color you are for the current year’s summer). Represents the overall theme of that summer, received at the end.

[can-i-get-a-yippee]

I like to think of Shannon lives AUs bc she deserved better and I think it could’ve had some great storylines that paralleled/contrasted to Athena and Michael’s divorce storyline.

Like, imagine her and Eddie divorcing and her finding a new partner.

Because Shannon and Eddie loved each other but they were both too passionate, too hot tempered, too stubborn—too alike.

They burned bright together, but they also burned hot. It’s not a sustainable relationship, especially when Chris is involved.

So they divorce, and they co-parent, and it’s fine. It’s not ideal, not by a long shot, but it’s fine — good even. Shannon gets an apartment 20 minutes from Eddie, and a temp job at some finance firm downtown. Eddie still has Chris most of the time, but Shannon negotiated him up to her getting Chris while he works shifts and every second weekend of the month with Carla helping fill in some gaps. He doesn’t love being separated from his son, but he would be lying if he said it isn’t nice to do adult activities with Buck and his 118 coworkers on the weekends Shannon has custody. (Though Buck gripes that he misses getting to see Christopher every weekend, and Eddie can’t help but agree) He and Shannon still argue, bicker, about everything from pick-up schedules to parent teacher conferences. After all, being divorced doesn’t fix their communication issues, but Chris seems happy, and they’re leagues better than when they were married.

Until Shannon announces she met someone.

Well, met isn’t the most accurate word because when she tells Eddie on the front steps of his house after her weekend with Chris, she admits they’ve been seeing each other for almost 4 months.

His name is Jack. He’s a salary man— a financial analyst at some firm that Eddie doesn’t care to remember the name of— and Shannon accidentally spilled a cup of coffee on him when she ran into him at the coffee shop beside her office. He was kind and gracious and offered to buy her a new cup, despite it not being his error. She hadn’t wanted it to happen, hadn’t been looking for it, but something between them had just clicked. It’s going on 4 months and she wants to introduce Chris to him soon, but only if Eddie approves.

She and Eddie might be divorced, but she is determined to make this co-parent thing work, and if he says no, she’ll respect his decision and not bring it up again.

And Eddie, he wants to be angry. He can feel the venom boiling in his throat before she even finishes her sentence. She had divorced him. She had said that she wanted to focus on being a mother and not a wife. He wanted to make it work, and she had given up. Now, barely a year later, she’s asking him to introduce their son to her new boyfriend?

It’s an ugly and unfair feeling that he swallows down when he strains out, “Let me think about it.”

And he tries to ignore the hole in his chest when Shannon gives an apology as her goodbye.

He complains the next day to his coworkers with a mixed response. Bobby tries to offer insight based on his relationship with Athena’s kids and Michael, and Hen and Chimney chime in with their own opinions and personal anecdotes. However, it’s when he’s complaining to Buck in the locker room that he feels his stomach twist

“I just didn’t expect her to move on that fast,” Eddie repeats the sentiment that he had been repeating all shift as he slams the locker door. “We’ve barely been divorced for a year, and she’s already wanting to introduce this guy to our kid? Everything online says to wait at least 6 months, but she’s over here doing it at four months. And she wants me to agree to it, says she won’t introduce him if I’m not ready, making me look like the bad guy if I say no.”

He huffs and turns to look at Buck who has been attentively listening from the bench.

“Eddie,” Buck says it slowly. He’s giving Eddie that earnest, doe-eyed look that he gives when he’s about to say something that he knows Eddie doesn’t like. “Not that I don’t agree with you about Chris here because four months does seem a little early, but it doesn’t feel like that’s what you’re mad at her for.”

Eddie turns away then, unwilling to hold Buck’s stare any longer. The truth is stuck in his throat, and Buck has a way of making it spill out of him.

Because the truth is, Buck is right. He’s irritated about how early in the relationship Shannon wants to introduce their kid to this new guy, but he’s angry that she’s making things change, that she’s moving on from them.

Sure, their relationship wasn’t the best. They had been forced to speed their relationship up from its natural progression when Shannon got pregnant. He’s not even sure if they would’ve lasted the year had it not happened, but then it did and then they were married and then there was army and the fighting and the leaving.

But despite everything, they had always been tied to one another.

And now, she was moving on, building a new life, and Eddie was stuck in place, mourning a life that he never had in the first place.

And what if she wants everything to change? What if she wants to get actually serious with this guy? What if she wants to take Chris more than just every second weekend and try to build a family with him without at all the baggage Eddie had brought? What if this other guy comes in marries his (ex)wife and tries to take his kid and shatters the house of cards Eddie had assembled here?

God, his parents already tried to take Chris. If Shannon tries, he’ll —

“Hey, Eddie, you okay, man?” Buck had stood up and moved beside him. He’s look at him with that stupidly earnest and open expression on his face, and his hand stutters at his side, like it wants to reach out and touch him (and a part of Eddie wishes it would). “I didn’t mean to upset you. I just— you know you can talk to me about anything, right?”

Eddie scrubs a hand over his face. “It’s just— Shannon, we’re just getting a handle on the divorce co-parent thing, and we’re getting okay at it, and now she wants to change everything. We’re finally at a semi stable place, and now she wants to throw a wrench in it because of some guy she just met.”

Buck is quiet for a moment before he questions carefully, “Did you …expect that she would never date again?”

“No!” The response comes too quickly, and then he sighs. “Yes… I don’t know. I just thought we were at a good place, and doing this coparenting thing right, and now she wants to add this new guy into the equation. She wants it to change. “

The ‘I don’t want it to change’ goes unspoken.

Because things are going good right now.

Eddie loves his job. He loves his team.

He and Buck spend almost every moment outside of work together, grabbing beers when Chris is away and going to the zoo when he’s not. Dinners at Bobby and Athena’s are common and so are play dates at Hen and Karen’s. Chris loves Denny and Harry, and Eddie loves that he has a support system here.

Chris is the happiest Eddie’s ever seen him. He’s getting good grades and making friends. His teachers gush about how happy he is— telling Eddie about all Chris’ stories about what he does when he visits his mom or the weekend adventures with Buck. He’s thriving for a kid whose parents just got divorced.

And Eddie’s communication is the best it’s ever been with Shannon. When you take the sex and the relationship baggage, they make a good co-parenting team. Not perfect, not by any means, but they both love their son and centering him seems to have made them more agreeable.

If his life could stay like this, he wouldn’t complain. He doesn’t need anything else, anyone else. He’s happy.

And Shannon wants to mess that all up by starting a relationship that she made clear she didn’t want with Eddie.

“Hey, no matter what happens with Shannon, you know you’re the best father Chris could ask for. Shannon dating this new guy, it doesn’t take that away,” Buck says it with a grin and knocks their shoulders together. “And it’s not like you’re alone in this. Everyone here has your back. I’ve got your back.”

And Eddie— Eddie can’t help but grin at that as he knocks his shoulder back against Buck’s. “Does that mean you’re still down for dinner tonight? I told Chris we could order pizza since we’re getting home late.”

“Only if I get to pick the place,” Buck responds easily as he slings his bag over his shoulder. “The last plan you ordered from skimped on the cheese.”

It’s hard not to think, as they walk out chatting about weekend plans and Chris’ science project, that maybe there’s one thing he wouldn’t mind staying the same forever.

[korkiekenobiconfirmed]

Okay Aelin’s plan at the end of EOS was complete bullshit for so many reasons, all of which can be lumped under 3 larger categories.

1) Probability of success during the war

This is limited, as they mentioned in the books, but Lys’s ability to trick people into thinking she’s Aelin lasts about as long as it takes for them to need her fire powers. The point of pretending Aelin was alive was to help morale and keep the bad guys from learning that she was out of the picture, but if your supposed “fire breathing” savior queen doesn’t show a single spark of power, even when a battle turns dire, that’s arguably worse for morale and does nothing to rally the people. Martyring Aelin & saying she died arguably would’ve been a better choice for this purpose.

Strategy is a huge part of war. Someone like Aelin, with magic as powerful as hers (especially bc of how effective a weapon fire was against Erawan’s forces), would be treated as a battalion all her own. War strategy relies on knowing every player on the board, every move that needs to be made. Generals (like Aedion) are factoring Aelin’s powers into a battle (how it’s fought, chances of success, etc) which means innumerable deaths and devastating losses when that power doesn’t show face. It’s actively harming the war effort — imagine if you thought you had a nuke but then it turns out your strongest weapon is a nerf gun and nobody fucking told you…

2) Aedion & Lysandra’s involvement

Was Aedion justified for how he treated Lysandra? No. Was he justified in being that angry? Yes. Lys knew what she was getting into, understood the sacrifices she was making to execute Aelin’s idiotic doppleganger plan, but nobody told Aedion. He was going to have to sleep with Lysandra just for his goddamn genetics like some prize cattle and, in one fell swoop, lost the woman he loves and cousin he should have sworn his life to. It’s also implied in EOS that he has some sexual trauma in his past, having slept with people to move up Adarlan’s ranks as fast as he did, which makes the role they expect him to play even more fucked up. Lysandra’s essentially sacrificing her entire life and any possible chance at the happy ending she wants(which, btw, I can’t fathom asking of anybody, but at least she agreed to do it on her own…I guess)

3) The likelihood (& morality) of continuing the deception post-KOA

This entire plan moving into the future hinges on some weird ideas about genetics. Yes, the “Ashryver traits” seem to be dominant and there’s a high chance of Lysaedion’s children looking like Aedion… but if they don’t? What then, pass them off as bastards? That would mean they don’t get the throne. It’s also pretty well established that magical abilities follow the same heritability as physical traits but neither Lysandra nor Aedion has magic that could be passed off as a child of Rowan/Aelin. The best case scenario is that the kids inherit Aedion’s lack of magic and it’s all seen as some cruel joke from the gods, that the offspring of two such powerful magic wielders didn’t get any of their parents’ abilities. The worst (and most likely) case is that the kids turn out to be shape-shifters and they’re still written off as bastards…so they don’t get the throne.

The other problem with putting a false queen on the throne lies in the fucking morality of it all. Aelin’s whole claim to the throne relied on divine right (or some fantasy version of it) and the idea that people who are born to a throne have the inimitable right to rule. Darrow had the right idea in QOS when he told Aelin that she didn’t have the proper upbringing to be a queen, to rule a country, and her only argument against him was “weLL iM AeLiN aShRyVEr gaLAtHyNiUS.” As though that means anything in terms of all the knowledge, temperament, and responsibility required of being a GODDAMN QUEEN.

So if Aelin deserves queenhood purely because of circumstances of birth and blood, what are they achieving by putting a lowborn shapeshifter and her illegitimate children on the throne? Does that not go against everything that was supposedly so important? It seems more like Aelin only cares about the appearance of herself/her family sitting the throne of Terrassen, which is fine as far as writing an interesting character goes, but that’s a sinister kind of corruption that should be acknowledged for what it is. If she truly wanted what was best she would let Darrow and the other northern lords lead it (or at least put Aedion on the throne working with them) because they were the ones helping Terrassen through those ten horrible years and they have the power and experience to bring the kingdom back to its former glory.

SJM writing a plan that was so clearly not going to succeed is lazy writing. She knew it didn’t have to be a foolproof plan bc she knew Aelin was going to survive & be rescued (duh) but the fact of the matter is, an author’s actions and thoughts become the characters’ actions and thoughts. To make such a poorly-thought out plan then to present it through the narrative as some kind of genius move on Aelin’s part is…bad writing. It’s just bad writing.

[defensivelee]

ok ok here's my detailed nsfw headcanons (or ig....canon anyway bc it's my story?? LMAO) for six lives. obvious warning for nsfw/kink but also for mentions of domestic violence and sexual abuse (of adults and minors)

-William IS asexual in the usual sense that he doesn't experience attraction, however this society doesn't... have a term for that

-ironically, he's the guy fucking the most here. he has a very unhealthy view of sex-- he thinks it's unnecessary, it's awkward, he'd prefer to avoid it altogether, but he feels that because he CAN have sex as an Overlifer... he SHOULD. something his father taught him!

-he CAN enjoy it, just for the stimulation, but even that makes him kind of ill afterwards. it's a mix of the feeling that he saw something he shouldn't have as well as his trauma from the CSA

-he likes all sorts of BDSM, it genuinely makes sex a little more fun for him bc he's actively doing smth else while fucking. he CANNOT handle just lying there and taking it, and he can't handle seeing someone else that way, either

-for example: he loves to stim with the gags Bentinck puts on him. they need to be taken off pretty quickly so he can breathe, but he lovesss drooling over it

-he does draw the line at choking tho DO NOT CHOKE HIM

-if he loves you (like he does Bentinck) then he'll wrap his long long tail around your waist while you fuck his brains out 🥺🥺

-i've mentioned this before but he's very vocal. if you get him into subspace, he'll say things or make noises you NEVER could have imagined for him...

-now Bentinck! so this guy acts normal but he's kinky as shit, same levels as William

-he can be a gentle dom but he has a mild preference for subbing. he LOVES to be ruined

-he doesn't like pain so much tho, he's more into bondage and servitude and humiliation

-he loves gangbangs, especially when shit gets MESSY. he wants to be covered in cum and piss and drool and sweat

-however sometimes it's hard to enjoy them when he knows the people fucking him aren't really attracted to him, they're attracted to the idea of fucking an Ally, like some kind of power reversal. his biggest fantasy is being 'worshipped' by a bunch of his followers, and being instead fucked by people who would like to see him dead really messes with him... it's like, they don't deserve to see that of him

-he hardly ever cums without jacking off or someone doing it for him

-he's very good with fisting (he took someone up to their shoulder once and YES THAT IS POSSIBLE AND NO DONT ASK ME HOW I KNOW THAT) and huge dildos. he owns a few crazy monster cocks and has great fun riding them

-eating ass/pussy is his favorite thing in the world (oh yeah when Keppel shows up it's gonna be over for you bitches)

-he laughs. a lotttt. it's kind of a nervous response in the aforementioned gangbangs William sets him up to do, but he also does it bc he's having fun when he's topping

-Mary time!! she's actually pretty vanilla but rlly enjoys blindfolds, and she's got a bit of a sadistic streak

-she loves making boys cheat on their partners with her it's her favorite thing (imagine getting cucked by Mary tho LMAOOO)

-she's actually not super horny all the time like her father but when she gets high, she goes fucking nuts and is something of a power bottom

-also when she gets high, she's very loud

-she'll only let girls dominate her

-that's why she's got a bit of a friends-with-benefits situation going on with Anne Villiers, they regularly fuck and Anne's great at it so Mary has High Standards for her partners

-she prefers to have sex with her assassination targets before she kills them bc she rlly hates getting blood on her clothes. to her it's the hottest shit when she's washing blood off her tits

-and yes as Anne mentioned before she has lots of dildos and sex toys too. she can have her own fun

-in particular she loves vibrators

-and now we have her father!! oh dear where do i even begin. full on sadomasochist, the extremes of both sides of the spectrum. not a kink out there he doesn't like. he'll try everything

-generally he prefers to be a dom as well as a top, there's VERY few people he's willing to sub and/or bottom for

-however even as a dom he likes to receive pain. and like i mean crazy amounts of pain, he loves being whipped until he bleeds and he's REALLY into CBT

-there's also, ofc, knives, which he gets if he genuinely attempts to kill Maria. force her to fight back and all that

-you can't even nonconsensually torture this man bc he loves it so much

-as for the pain he INFLICTS, he loves flogging, beating, slapping, choking, shocking, all that wild shit. he'll just do it unprovoked tho, like without any discussion beforehand

-he regularly ignores safewords and pushes his partners to their very limits

-obv he ADORES bondage

-his favorite aspect of bondage is gags, specifically ring gags (the ones that force your mouth open). he loves to use Marly's mouth like that

-can't forget the green stockings kink. here it's extended to him being drawn to just the color green in general, he couldn't tell you why but he LOVES to see it on people and makes his partners wear it to remind everyone that he 'owns' them

-completely opposite views from William; he believes that as an Overlifer, he's entitled to the bodies of everyone around him. and he'll take them whenever he likes

-when he forces himself upon somebody for the first time, there's a very good chance he'll kill them if they don't show him respect for it. he seems to calm down a little after you get used to it, but it's terrifying for anyone involved. ofc, part of what's so thrilling to him is the fear

-he loves humiliating Marly and Maria. sometimes both at the same time

-sometimes when fucking Marly he'll mock the latter for his moans, like he'll hear Marly let out a gasp and then he'll copy it just to echo how pathetic he sounds

-mean rough fucker, won't let you cum without begging. and he's VERY good at making people beg

-there's no love for his subs after he's done with them. despite the fact that they might have reacted like he wanted them to, he still finds them fucking UNBEARABLE to look at afterwards. for just a moment, he hates them for their powerlessness

-necrophilia? probably. don't ask

-and now for everyone's favorite: Marly!!! ooh he's not kinky at ALL, despite the fact that he often finds himself in some damn Situations in all his movies/shows, and has actually come to hate BDSM for what he associates with it

-he's not even that much of a hoe tbh. he just happens to work for James, who thinks Marly is a horny little bitch who eats everything up

-despite being terrified of bondage, he finds the powerlessness and vulnerability kind of DOES turn him on. even the fear itself does smth for him. he's not sure why but the idea that he likes it even a little bit makes him highly uncomfortable

-as well as James taunting and humiliating him for it? no thank you, not for him

-he hates pain especially, all the ways James slaps and bats him around during sex INFURIATE him. he wants to be treated nicely in bed yknow

-he can tolerate BDSM a little bit more if it's consensual, but ofc it never fully is bc. well it's kinks he doesn't like. but like, if James is extra affectionate that night... he thinks he'll be okay

-he's never once complained about it tho. he thinks if that's how James wants to use his body, then he deserves to, and he gets enough out of it by having James fuck him anyway and knowing that his master is rlly enjoying himself using HIS body. oh it's an honor to him

-i mean it's crazy, he REALLY loves James' cock, he loves sucking it and worshipping it and taking it

-he's very polite. calls James 'sir' and thanks him for everything, even when he's just about losing his mind in the middle of it

-also a lot of 'i love you's. he tries to be very sweet

-oh yknow the tattoos on James drive him nuts

-something he's weirdly into is how he'll put on makeup and by the end of the night it'll be SO fucked up bc of how rough James was with him

-sometimes, if the two of them are drunk enough, they'll have the closest thing to loving, consensual sex they can get to. none of the bondage or violence Marly hates, just a lot of kissing and whispers on James' part, and Marly thinks he can remember why he ever fell in love with this man in the first place

-it's just a very complicated thing for him. some nights, James' touch is all he can think about, other times he just wishes James would look away for once

-during the three-ways with James and Maria, he'll usually be their sub. mostly he just feels bad for her; she's clearly VERY uncomfortable

-he's never had sex with Sarah once. he believes it to be heresy and that he doesn't deserve her, even tho he REALLY wants to do so...

-ok here's a speed round for characters that don't fuck much in the story/haven't appeared yet but i still think about them

-Keppel's favorite thing in the world is sucking cock without a doubt. he's soft when someone's fucking him, but he'll be hard as shit while blowing someone

-he loves drinking cum

-he can switch his genitalia out anytime!

-with a pussy he's a squirter like no other and loves being eaten out

-also he's a fierce power bottom and brat. takes a lot to get him to fully sub for you but... i think William can manage it, no?

-Charles is 100% a pup. he's got the hood and everything

-he also likes to be called 'good girl' and have his asshole referred to as a 'cunt.' curious, curious

-Maria's not that much into BDSM either, but James finds her a lot more receptive when she's drunk or upset. she'll do anything for him in that state

-she's actually fully asexual too and struggles with a lot of guilt when it comes to pleasing the devil ancestors

-Anne Villiers is absolutely a full sub and bottom, she WISHES Hanni would tie her up like he does to William...

-Shrewsbury is an exhibitionist. period full stop he just loves humiliation and having people watch him and degrade him and all that. he might be a sex worker here but i gotta think about that

-Louis loves being gang fucked by a bunch of his nobles and politicians, it's a form of worship to him

-he also has a breastfeeding kink, having given birth to his own kids he likes it when his partners suck milk out of him too

[loserelf]

I'm really really sorry I can't think abt doppelgängers too long or I get incredibly horny and wistful. Like that's me. That's myself. Even if you're mimicing me. You *chose* me. You're OBSESSED with me.

So not only would they have my face, they must have known me down to every last detail. They're in love with me. They adore me. My secrets, my scars, my features I've forgotten but they chose to copy. And I can look them in the eye and feel down their... My body. Someone who loves me for myself, all of myself. Enough to create a perfect copy of me.

I'm enamoured with mimicry but alas, I can never have it.

This probably sounds selfish I think but I normally hate myself I just think it would be beautiful to find a creature who wouldn't so perfectly.

I HEAR YOUUUUUUUUUU man its just suchhfhdhchCH a fascinating concept to me like for me im drawn to that dire fuckin eeriness, that absolutely beyond unsettling bone chilling experience of being confronted with your own body and have your own face boring back into you in a way you've never seen outside of a reflection. To be confronted with YOU, standing before you in the flesh, something any of us will only ever imagine based on outside descriptions. Mannerisms, movements, and the HORROR of knowing both exactly what must be going on behind those eyes while simultaniously knowing NOTHING about it bc only you know what you're capable of, and even then, YOU REALLY DONT!!!!! You will NEVER know what you're capable of and its That knowledge that any one of us could become a monster in the right circumstances that makes me go freak mode like GOD. god i could go on forever about it but truly you're also so right on the eroticism part like .

It's something that goes hand in hand with the horror of it, the fear and the intrigue. Which mimics definitely could be argued to have more of because its an active choice they make and it forces that connection one way or the other... for me its the doppelganger aspect that reaply relishes in that, i love the person versus person and simultanious person versus SELF of it. After all who knows your own body better than you right? Who can understand those deep dark twisted cracks lying dormant in your psyche, the ones even your closest friends or partners dont know about? How do you navigate that? the knowing? (and im well aware of how cringe edgelord welcome to my twisted mind it all sounds but also its real ok. you get it) Like it's almost natural for those feelings, those curiosities to come to surface. It's only a matter of time that it's Going to start to translate that way. You can't hide from yourself. There is Nowhere in your mind you can keep things hidden entirely out of view from the person that has the same key to the same box you've got locked away in the deepest part of your soul, a soul you share mannnnnn anyway im Going to shut tf up about it now because I could literally talk about this forever. thank you for indulging me 🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡

[lungthief]

not even bothering to ask on anon bc this is my calling card but I am DESPERATE to know your shivlisa headcanons

HI im so sorry it took me so long to respond to this ask, i promise i wasn’t ignoring it, i just have a long ass backstory framework i wrote for them lmao, here it is:

- shiv & lisa meet while shiv is in undergrad at yale and lisa is completing her law degree (and TAing one of shiv’s classes probably)

- start to hang out outside of class

- definitely friends, probably mutually attracted to each other at this point (i cant decide whether or not itd make more sense for them to start hooking up while still in college or if they wait until after when theyve reconnected) (shivs definitely at least Aware of the fact that she likes girls if she’s not already fucking them) (i feel like her brothers’ own dabbling in gay shit made her avoid confronting her feelings as much as possible bc she saw the consequences firsthand w/ what happened to roman and probably kendall also) (she’s so determined to not be the fuckup) (but the problem is that she is Very Much attracted to women) (maybe it’s a lady Gaga poker face moment where she goes out and fucks guys and thinks of girls while doing it)

- lisa graduates, goes to DC—shiv is still studying polisci but doesn’t really know what she wants to do

- all she knows is it makes her feel better to at least pretend to care about people and it makes staying out of the business look like her own choice instead of her dad and her brothers actively freezing her out

- shiv graduates, leans toward the left

- this sparks a big argument with her dad re: ATN or politics or something (probably ends up getting belittled by him & her brothers), which makes her decide to fully pursue being a political consultant for dems

- reconnects with lisa while trying to surround herself w/ libs in DC

- she & lisa start hooking up (despite the fact that lisa has a boyfriend) (i imagine this is also around the time kendall introduces shiv to nate so thats happening also)

- neither lisa nor shiv really acknowledge the whole Feelings part of their thing but it is definitely there (more so for shiv than for lisa, which shiv hates bc she hates caring about other people more than they care about her) (she’s Shiv Fucking Roy everyone should be worshipping her)

- meanwhile logan is still pissed at shiv for everything

- things are also not going well with nate, he either suspects or knows she’s cheating on him but she breaks up with him first to get out in front of it (he worships her but he’s also on her level which makes him dangerous anyway she’d rather just have a boyfriend who doesn’t challenge her like that) (she’s also just devoting so much of her time and energy to trying to figure out where she stands with lisa)

- lisa starts talking about getting engaged to the guy she’s seeing, tells shiv they have to break off their thing

- shiv is Heartbroken and jealous but won’t admit it

- she also has no one to fall back on bc she already broke things off with Nate

- so then lets it slip to someone that lisa fucks women (i don’t think she’d talk about their recent relationship, i think shiv would off-handedly allude to them having a relationship in college even if they didn’t “how do you know” “we went to college together. i know from experience” etc etc even if shes completely lying her ass off. this angle looks especially bad for lisa bc the whole TA/student thing)

- lisa’s boyfriend? fiance? catches wind of this, breaks up with lisa over the rumors

- lisa goes to shiv for comfort but shiv is super blasé abt the whole thing bc part of her wanted this to happen

- lisa gets suspicious of how this info even got out and shiv tries to just play it off as DC gossip but then (because shes in love with lisa still a little and wants to believe lisa loves her) is like “well. it’s already out there why not continue this we dont have to say that we’re dating or anything we can just. yknow. stay together” basically proposing they have an actual formal relationship even if it’s not public

- lisa is fucking pissed bc a) shiv just fucked up what was supposed to be Her Marriage and b) is like “is this some fucking ploy to get at your dad???” bc obviously shiv roy daughter of conservative media empire even just rumored to be dating a prominent Black female dem lawyer would be a Big fuck you to logan (i doubt shiv even really considered this angle bc she’s so involved in her own jealousy and feelings for Lisa) and it is a move that would also endear her to the dems and get her more important jobs (which is the whole reason she sought out lisa in dc in the first place even if not the Entire reason)

- shiv has no idea how to even respond to this she did not realize the consequences

- Lisa (rightfully!) tells her off about how she’s self involved and hypocritical for trying to appear empathetic when she doesn’t even think to consider the extent to which shiv’s pettiness would affect lisa as a woman and as a POC in the professional world and how even just associating with shiv makes her look and feel bad because shiv is heir to The Misogynistic Racism Factory

- Shiv Knows She Fucked Up Real Bad and attempts to explain that she did it all bc she loves lisa and she was jealous and lisa is like you are fucking delusional!!!! the two of us together would never work out even if we wanted it to (bc i do think there is part of lisa under all of the pragmatism that would want it to work out) and shiv is a mess at this point bc she hates feeling naive and lisa is basically confirming that she never was as In It as shiv was

- Shiv (miserable) is probably like “im sorry im sorry I’ll take care of it I’ll get PR to deal with it i just don’t want to lose you please let’s be friends let’s just put this all behind us okay” and lisa is like no actually I want nothing to fucking do with you you made a big fucking mess and now i have to clean it up

- And this whole fight and cutting lisa off is what Shiv becoming the mess that she and Tom reference later on and what eventually leads her to dating him

[idaokiwatine]

as i'm agonizingly waiting for last twilight, here are some scenarios i like to imagine morkday in (begging this series to come out soon bc im going insane and i'm not sure how much more i can take.) anyways, here you go, i need to share my misery with other people:

- an aquarium date, after noticing day's liking towards fish when cleaning up day's fish tank, mork decides to bring him to a real life aquarium. he holds his hand while day gets as close as possible to the glass and mork describes to him the fish species that can be seen.

- day asking mork to read him his favorite book, or even better, mork telling him once about a book he loves and day asking him to read it for him (and mork doing so happily while explaining his favorite scenes)

- one night, as they're cuddling (mork loves being the little spoon and feeling safe and warm knowing there's someone out there who cares about him), mork wakes up terrified after a nightmare about being abandoned - since he doesn't have parental figures in his life anymore and has spent most of his life on his own - and as he turns around he sees day sleeping soundly with an arm around him. mork is suddenly overwhelmed with emotion as it dawns on him that he isn't alone anymore and that he is loved (for who he is, in spite of everything) (then he falls back to sleep at peace, putting his hand over day's and squeezing it tightly.)

- day is feeling down so mork puts some music on and convince him to dance together. (user @stormyoceans i will never move on from your fic it was the most beautiful thing i have ever read)

- mork is jealous of this guy who hangs out at day's house and who seems close to him (he doesn't know it yet, but the guy's name is august.) mork hasn't yet put a name on the confusing feelings he has for day, and he hates feeling this upset over what should be nothing. but he slowly realizes he is falling for day.

- day asks mork to take him to the garage he works at after finding out he's a mechanic. mork teaches him a lot about his job and day is eager to learn about mork's interest for cars.

- day wants to know more about mork and one afternoon he asks him about his music taste and the two share earphones as mork plays lana del rey. although day thinks the songs are a bit sad he doesn't say a thing and instead, asks him often after that day to listen to lana together. he likes the proximity of this activity and how it allows them to bond.

- on the days when going out seems too exhausting and day needs peace, mork would sit on day's bed and day would lay his head on mork's lap while mork plays with his hair and tells him stories about anything day wants.

- day finds out about mork's tattoo and as they're closer now, asks him if mork could describe to him what it looks like. mork suggests day touches the tattoo while mork describes each part and that's how they end up lying side by side, day tracing mork's tattoo on mork's bare skin as mork describes every line, every curve of the tattoo.

- day holding mork's face in his hands to know whether he's smiling or not (like in the trailer) (but it happens more than once)

that's it for now but expect more as i'm terribly attached to them already (for the ones who know me from twt i'm sorry for bringing my insanity here, it will happen again)