fattuccini-afraido

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Slenderman: Stressed.

Jeff: Depressed.

Tim: Possessed.

Toby: Obsessed.

Y/N: Impressed.

Laughing Jack: Chicken breast.

Everyone: ...what?

Laughing Jack: I just wanted to join in.

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Aizawa, to Deku and Bakugo First, you tank the operation. I'm this close to suspending the both of you.

Deku: It almost looked like your fingers were actually touching.

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Tim: I can't handle this. I need a cigarette.

Y/N: I knew that you would so I came prepared. Nicotine patches!

Y/N: You just put one on your shoulder an- Oh, stuck it right on your face, huh?.

Tim, sighing: I want it as close to my brain as possible.

Y/N: That's unsettling. Well, I think I know how to fix the problem .

Tim: That's good. I love you so much.

Y/N: I love you, too.

Y/N: Wait, you're talking to the nicotine, aren't you?

Tim:

Tim: I can love two things.

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Kaminari: Can I exploit all of y'all 's attention for a second?

Kirishima: What do you need?

Kaminari: Attention.

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Scanlan: Punch me in the face.

Vax: What?

Scanlan: Punch me in the face! Didn't you hear me?

Vax: I always hear "punch me in the face" when you're speaking, but it's usually subtext.

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Jeff: I have good news...and bad news. Which one do you wanna hear first?

Slenderman: ...Good?

Jeff: It's very unlikely I will ever, EVER do it again.

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Satoru: Forgive me father for I have sinned in all the coolest, most glamorous ways imaginable.

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Kaminari :Truth or dare.

Shinso: Truth.

Kaminari: How many hours have you slept this week?

Shinso: Dare.

Kaminari: Go to bed.

Shinso: I don't like this game

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Slenderman: Did none of you hear what I just said?!

Toby: I've been zoned out for the last two hours.

Y/N: I got distracted halfway through.

Jeff: Ignoring you was a concious decision.

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Neighbor: So, how has Anya been warming up to the household?

Loid: She's been great. Anya is such a caring kid-

Anya, appearing out of nowhere: Dad, three decomposing hags had the audacity to caress my face.

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Shinso: I can't tell if you're a genius or just unbelievably arrogant.

Monoma: On a good day, I'm both.

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Jeff: Slender lectured me to think before I act.

Jeff: So if I ever open the gates and smack the shit out of you, rest assured that I thought about it and I am confident in my decision.

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Literally anyone from class A: Is there any orange juice left?

Monoma, pouring all the remaining juice into his glass: No, we're all out

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Percy: Do you take constructive criticism?

Vex: I only take cash or credit.

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Percy: I'm not always a rude, sarcastic asshole.

Percy: Sometimes I'm sleeping.

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Suguru: That's a bad idea.

Satoru: Uh huh.

Suguru: I'm assuming you already did it.

Satoru: Yuppers

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Megumi: Ugh, I can't stand you.

Satoru: Then kneel.