#is this weird for me to post? i think it's only weird because i waited too long and they released their own

[todayisafridaynight]

[autisticaradiamegido]

day 299

cha boy is starting on a cpap machine for the first time tonight

it turns out, that when i sleep, my cringe-ass larynx blocks itself up, and i STRAIGHT UP STOP BREATHING for up to 20 seconds at a time! of course i have always managed to start back up again, but as u might imagine this doesn't lead to great sleep quality

so wish me luck on getting that Good Sleep for once. god gives his toughest battles to his sleepiest warriors and all that.

[trashyandtiredsol]

If y'all ever see me IRL- it'd make so much more sense why my Sona looks how it looks

[a-blip-of-billdip]

this isnt what i usually post on this blog but I'm already sick of all the memes and 'jokes'. I am almost certainly leaving the fandom for good now because of the book of bills release and NO it is not because billford's community has an influx of supporters.

So the worship and romanticization of asylums and other abusive practices for mental health have been steadily gaining traction in recent years, especially with the rise of tiktok's toxicity.

SO many people, especially younger people, regularly talk about how they want lobotomies or how women they don't like should be lobotomized. They get tattoos of lobotomy like it's some quirky fun thing and not one of the most horrific tortures someone can endure.

These same people, ESPECIALLY leftists, will look at anyone they disagree with or don't like and say "get institutionalized, loser" or "et therapy" and it's always in a mocking way. it's always in a policing way.

because these people know that mental wards strip everyone of their freedom and their bodily autonomy. they know these places arent for healing--theyre for silencing.

So the amount of people i see treating bill being institutionalized like a good thing---even the writers and alex himself?

Yeah. Im out ✌🏼

[liquidstar]

a friend who'd wait :)

[nostalgia-tblr]

What do English people call a close? You know, the stairwell bit where all the flats are in a tenement? If you go to visit someone at their flat, what do you call the bit where you wait for them to answer their door? That communal stairs… area?

("Modern AUs don't require research" MAYBE IF YOU'RE ENGLISH THEY DON'T 😭)

[cradle-of-darkness]

COOKIES OF DARKNESS NATION WE ARE OFFICIALLY BACK 💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

(long rambling in tags if u care)

[icewindandboringhorror]

Recent things.. mostly just writing screenshots lol

[syrupyyyart]

Its exciting to finally actually be working on Motley, but it's also astronomically frustrating because I wanna Get Into The Good Stuff so BAD

[theguardianace]

i have this whole aroace wxs fic saga like completely planned out with various themes and experiences of being aroace and the different ways each of them would view their own identity but also i cannot for the life of me figure out the plot of any of the stories.

[scalpelsister]

i fear my curtain bangs might just be bangs

[skunkes]

General oc talkkkk

I feel like i have to Do something with al once i take him off the shelf again (when my brain lets go of talon for another few months), ive been motivated to draw talon because he sits in my brain and i imagine interactions but it's much harder with al since al has been around for 10 years or more...and Al has like. Less conflict? In the sense of him just being a nice kind guy with regular human issues in a normal human world (or cow with regular individual issues in a normal furry world lol) ykwim?

Like. Talon is exaggerated he's a caricature of feelings to play with he's got lots of internal contradictions... and outside of that the whole Setting is easy to play with too, like, he's a vampire and those elements are more fun to think about and incorporate and build up in a way that requires a bit more brainpower of the fun variety (can make shit up) than Just a Regular Guy (has to be nore realistic, less fun to research), but less brainpower than, say, my abandoned Space Ocs where it was way harder for me to just make shit up, and way more to make shit up about (not as fun for me)

Idk! Its easy to imagine Talon in interactions, including ones with Al, or just self exploring dialogue....

Other than cute interactions between al and smunker its a lot harder to find stuff with him...he's a guy living in our regular world... his life has been fairly normal and he's good and nice. And i wouldnt change any of those things just to change em but there's less conflict other than the usual internal stuff all humans experience. I think if he wasnt my imaginary bf I would have shelved him more permanently like the oc group he came with...

There's something about how i very rarely make ocs, he's technically my oldest oc and talon is my newest oc, talon is what i Feel making ocs should feel like. And he's only over a year old. And he's still not even what I would call a well written character in any capacity. And yet i dont think i could very easily replicate this again ykwim. Im so bad at writing, and ..... creating....! Idk how people do any of it....i just wanna extend my ocs lives and my interest in them forever...

[the-lark-ascending69]

prompt where robins mom finds out about her and nancy dating and she doesent take it well

Tbh I think Robin's mom would be more concerned that her daughter is dating someone who owns guns that the fact she's dating a girl. I haven't read much of the book yet, but Robin's parents are these "domesticated hippies" as she calls them, and they seem pretty fun and nice. Her mom is introduced dancing to fleetwood mac while stoned. She tells Robin they conceived her in the back of a van. They have all these photographs (in some or which her mother is topless) showing her parents with their friends and multiple lovers because they were also polyamorous and believed in "free love". Robin also mentions they have zero tolerance for any kind of hateful talk. I have read fics in which her parents are horrible and kick her out over being a lesbian and ngl I love that kind of angst, it's very cathartic. But after reading the book I don't think I myself can write that. Richard and Melissa just seem too chill to care about those things. Mayne later in the book I see some red flags here and there but so far I think Robin's mom would be mostly accepting.

There are, however, a few things we could work on:

Robin's mom is okay with Robin being a lesbian, she just doesn't like Nancy specifically. Like I said, maybe she knows Nancy owns guns, maybe Nancy has brought guns to their house for protection and Melissa thinks that is very disrespectful. I think she'd be mostly nice to Nancy, but as soon as she leaves she will tell Robin she doesn't like her, and that she feels dissappointed Robin would chose someone who "loves violence"

She has political disagreements with Nancy's family. Idk much about USamerican politics in the 80s but my spidey sense tells me Reagan and hippies wouldn't have gotten along. Maybe Melissa is a bit confused as to why her daughter is dating someone whose parents had a vote for Reagan sign on their lawn.

She is scared for Robin. When Robin says they're "domesticated hippies", she seems to imply they left a lot of their hippie ways behind to get married and start a nuclear family. She mentions she doesn't know if they still believe in "free love". Maybe in her youth, Robin's mother wouldn't have had a problem with it, but nowadays she sees her daughter with a girl and instead of thinking "love is love!" she thinks "the world is cruel and my baby girl is going to suffer so much". I think this option is my favorite one. It could have "mother broke her daughter's legs in two, said 'it's too dangerous to walk out there, so I had to save you'" vibes. She's a middle aged adult now, she's grown and she knows the freedom she enjoyed in her youth is not an option for her Robin. She tells her to think things through. Robin is confused. About Nancy, her mother explains. I just don't want you to get hurt. Robin still doesn't understand. But mom, I'm already hurt, she says. Melissa wants her to go slower, to not make such a big decision so fast. What will people say? What will they think? What will they do to her? Actually, she's too young to decide this. She's too young to be so obsessed with sexuality. People will be disgusted. She fills Robin's heart with fear and shame and it makes her not want to hold Nancy's hand in public even they they know no one is watching. Not under the table, not in a dark cinema. She's suddenly very shy and will often avert her gaze from her lest someone sees her looking at a girl. Her mother would hate to say it, but she'd be much more comfortable if her daughter were straight.

[fakecrfan]

I know most people on here don't like to go to the gym because you're all gay nerds. I like to go to the gym. For the purpose of understanding this post please try to imagine that you, too, enjoy going to the gym so that you can empathize with my point here.

Anyway, so imagine you are going to the gym. You're pumped about the concept of getting some muscle on you. Plus, the gym has this "lift weights every day!" challenge with a feasible plan to slowly and safely increase the amount of weight you can lift by the end of the month. Cool!

So anyway you go there, and you're having a good time. But then you notice something. Some people are coming in with these guys in shirts that say LIFT FOR HIRE. You're curious, and you notice over time that some people are actually paying these guys to come in and do the lifting challenge for them.

"Huh," you say to your mega hot, muscled gym buddy. "That's so weird. What's in it for the people paying these guys?"

"Dunno," says your friend, mid bicep curl.

"Um, actually!" says the gym owner. "Some people are disabled, so the only way they can lift weights it to pay LIFT FOR HIRE, inc."

"But wait," you say. "They still aren't lifting the weights though? Paying someone else to lift for you doesn't mean you've lifted the weights."

The gym owner gasps. "How could you SAY that?"

"Because... it's true?" you say. "Uh, if you pay guys to lift your weights, that's probably really good for the guys you are paying. But it's not going to develop your ability to lift at all. Your muscles aren't going to grow, you're just going to lose money and get no results."

"That's ABLEIST," they say. "How DARE you! Some people are LITERALLY paralyzed, did you think of that?"

"Well, yeah, some people are, and that means definitionally they can't lift weights," you explain. "And paying someone else doesn't change that. Maybe if they wanted to like, move something in their house it would make total sense to hire these guys! But if you hire them to do your workout you get nothing, because the purpose of a workout is personal development. I'm not morally condemning people who do it, but it seems like a waste of money when this event is, again, about improving one's personal abilities."

"This is absolutely DISGUSTING, CLASSIST rhetoric!" the gym owner roars, and then turns to one of the LIFT FOR HIRE guys, "Pay no attention this disgusting person, dear sponsor, we support your business and we totally want you to keep funding our gym!"

"Sponsor?" says your hot muscled friend who was way too busy actually doing their workout and getting gains to engage in dumb discourse. "Oh, now it makes sense."

"Shut up, you don't understand our love!" says the gym owner, before sloppily making out with a LIFT FOR HIRE guy in front of you.

Anyway, that's what learning about the whole AI nanowrimo controversy was like for me.

[yeetskeetiwandelete]

We're politics posting again lads

By that I mean I almost went completely right-wing in, like, ninth grade. I can't find that "escaped from the right wing failpost" right now but I saw like 4/5s of the tags on a post about it were along the lines of "I want to kill OP" and. man. that sounds exactly what radicalized me. I don't know what to make of that.

I don't really know where to go from there. I got nothing, I just remembered reading the snippet everyone was looking at, and just going, "Huh, that sounds exactly like what happened to me." Still happens sometimes! and then I see the tags on everyone else's posts and it's like yeah no wonder I fucking hated you back then, you keep telling me you want me dead. My base instinct is to hit all aggressive comments with the "right back atcha' pal" which isn't a great tool, but I felt it rear up again when I was reading and it was just aaaaugh you guyyys I don't want harm on you but my goodness everybody here is the worst.

(yes including OP. Fuckin hell that was a rough take once I saw it in full. But still, seeing the fallout is just reminding me how I got radicalized and it's really sad.)

[impostorsshow]

Unspecified issue that im going to blame on my pika hospital rating time in a non linear order 4/10

I had to go to the ER twice since they didn't believe me the first time

Despite being afab between 4 women nurses and 1 male nurse the guy was the only one who came back like 4 times to my room to make sure I got an ultrasound and the

women kept trying to brush me off and say it was just period cramps [i am not on my period fuck you], etc thank hell for that guy. He also drove my hospital bed [since I could not fucking move more than like 2 feet] like a damn racecar and took some really smooth corners and that was very fun. Actually the way he handled it makes me think the [3/4] girls that treated me had like an ongoing rumor about shitty care or something

Another girl failed at putting in my IV twice and brought over "the IV guy" who was about to go on lunch break and they literally had to ultrasound my veins to find a good spot i sincerly apologized like 5 times for "having the shittiest veins in the west"

I had to lie multiple times and say my pain was a 9 in order to get pain meds. Yes I did want to cry but that's like a 7.5 I was not dying and whoever decided a 10 was crying obviously never has had chronic ankle and knee pain [or any chronic pain but y'know. Those are my chronics]. Despite sending me home for period cramps the first time in the ER I said my pain was at a 7.5 and they didn't give me Jack shit [they had to bump up the pain medication they gave me to be stronger so I don't think it woulda worked anyway, just maybe delay how long it took for me to beg to be taken back to the ER]

I was supposed to see the Garfield movie and had to have minor surgery like 3 hours before so womp womp [I am able to refund the tickets and am determined to see it in theaters]

I GOT ICE CUBES?? THEY GIVE YOU ICE CUBES?? brings it up from a 4/10 to a 6/10 honestly bitches love ice cubes

My assigned nurse read fanfiction and I told her about that one 400 chapter batim fanfic and she reaffirmed the name of it like 3 times shes definitely into that shit Good luck gal. I also said "i read this Hermitcraft fanfic-" and she immediately went "HERMITCRAFT??? Oh we are not on the same sides of ao3" and I'm still very unsure of what I implied or what she implied by that so I just transitioned into telling her about my sonic death fanfic from 2019

In the waiting room the second time I went they were playing a horror movie that used a theremin [that one famous no hand instrument] and the movie played the same 4 note creepy audio clip like 7 times in 30 seconds with no dialogue in between each time. What was. What was that excuse me?? Also it was like 11 pm at this point

So yippee me irrational [?] fear of my useless organ I forgot the name of exploding being the thing to have a risk of permanently fucking me over was Not the thing to bring me to the hospital. Here's doodles from my hospital visit taken in approximately shitty lighting that I mind my damn best to save with filters

Also you made it this far read the alt tags