#is this the autism?

[vroomvroomwee]

Does anyone else feel lonesome?

Not lonely. Not alone. Just... lonesome. Like you don't feel connected to anyone. Like you never feel that you will find anyone that understands you, that will see you truly, let alone someone who will even like you. You see friends everywhere, but you don't see yourself in their place, like that is not for you, like you're not made for that and that's not made for you. You see people having fun and laughing and dancing and getting drunk and falling in love and you just... don't feel that for yourself. Like you're not supposed to have that, like you can't because it's not for you and you're not for it.

Like you're supposed to be seeing all these beautiful things in the world but not experience them yourself. Like you want to experience so much, experience everything, but be overwhelmed by it so you don't do any of it.

Like you want to be everywhere and do everything, but you don't belong anywhere and can't do anything. Like you're not supposed to be here. Not in a self-deprecating way but in an incongruous way. You want to live you want to be alive, but you feel you're not supposed to be. Not here at least, not like this. Just a presence in the world, not an active member of it. Even your body doesn't feel like home, your face isn't a face you recognise, like you're not supposed to have either. Like you're just supposed to be.

Like you're supposed to observe, but not experience.

[taterthepotato]

OKAY NEURODIVERGENT SIDE OF TUMBLR. IS IT JUST ME OR IS BEING ABLE TO FEEL THE AMOUNT OF GREASE ON MY FRIES A THING?! like i can feel the grease in my soul. Like it makes my skin feel icky and it wasn't even touching my skin. I can feel the grease. Id this normal???? SAME WITH MOST CHIPS! belgh.

[aqu-a-zul]

Doea anyone else taste what they pull out from their teeth when flossing? Or am I just disgusting?

Also.....it's not meant to bleed rjgjt? Am I doing the flossing thing wrong?

[dappersautismcreature]

like of course bad's gonna say vegas was better?? they were both cool,, literally shut up imma kill ,, i dont get the joke

[imaginarylungfish]

god sometimes i feel in love with my favorite anime/tv character. like just very innocently in love. nothing sexual. and usually unconditionally. like the mangaka/writer was so good at fleshing out and developing this character that they seem like a real human. you understand them. you know how they would act. part of them lives in your mind. like forever. but they're not real. UGGHHH

[chessb0r3d]

What I mean when I do not control the hyperfixation.

[small-bambi]

Harrison Wood Hsiang

[suffering-and-misery]

adhd paralysis sucks bcuz im just sitting there and my brain is like

YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME

no work done no rest gained. literally no point of this at all

(to everyone who reblogged, donate and share @olagaza's initiative!)

[fourofdaggers]

Feelings tonight

[macdenlover]

it came to my realization that 99% of my fandom related headaches would be cured if everyone understood this

[2003-playground]

Can we stop using "still lives with their parents" or "unemployed" or "doesn't have a drivers license" or "didn't graduate high school" as an insult or evidence that someone is a bad person? Struggling with independence or meeting milestones is not a moral failing.

[gabrielora]

When I was younger and researching the autism diagnosis criteria and symptoms, I thought “oh I couldn’t POSSIBLY be autistic.” Because when I read “takes everything literally” I thought it literally meant EVERYTHING and I was like “I don’t take EVERYTHING literally, just most things!” And I just realized the other day that it didn’t actually mean EVERYTHING and that was an overstatement.

[canineentity]

“Why’d you do that?�� Please remember that I am using what I’ve seen in humans to mimic them

[anexperimentallife]

[callmemanatee]

The way most autism literature describes "literal interpretation" is often not at all similar to how I experience it. Teenage me even thought I couldn't be autistic because I've always been able to learn metaphors easily.

In fact, I love wordplay of all kinds. Teenage me was fascinated to learn all the types of figurative language there are in poetry and literature.

But paperwork and questionnaires are hard, because there's so much they don't state clearly. Or they don't leave room for enough nuance.

"List all the jobs you've had, with start and end dates." What if I don't remember the exact day or month? Is the year enough?

"Have you been suffering from blurred vision?" Well, if I take off my glasses the whole world is blurred, but I'm fairly sure that's not what the intake form at the optometrist is asking.

Or the infamous (and infuriatingly stereotypical) "Would you rather go to a library or a party?" What sort of party? Where? Who's there? I work at a library. Am I currently at the library for work or pleasure? Does it have a good collection?

It's not common figures of speech that confound me. It's ambiguity, in situations that aren't supposed to be ambiguous.