#is this how people normally operate????
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Me: do I actually have ADHD
Me the second I have medication: *takes a nap, then cleans the entire apartment in 3 hours*
Me: ah
#is this how people normally operate????#I have so many scars from skin picking and chewing my lip#Wagh
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"svsss stans should stay in their lane and stop talking about tgcf/mdzs" is my favorite hater statement. Sorry I can be a fan of multiple things at once I guess. I also like when people say this in response to someone talking about leaving a fandom because they kept getting harassed like. Do you not understand cause and effect or
#you can really tell when someone entered a fandom from the kpop side of things#because they'll have this weird conception that everything operates like fan wars#where everyone has to pick one party theyre affiliated with and stay there and if anyone steps out of line they're obviously infiltrating#out of jealousy or something#but like . thats not how normal people think lol so you just end up looking weird
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I don't like any of the maps I've seen for HTTYD so i'm playing a puzzle game w all the locations. This is the 3rd version so far
#httyd#how to train your dragon#httyd map#rtte#race to the edge#mm i already see things i wanna change lmao#the red circle is the are where the Red Death has control#not every dragon in there is under her control but all the dragons of her flock stay there so it's the area where dragon raids happen#i don't believe in the 3rd movie so there's no hidden world but if there WAS i'd put it there hence the ()#also i saw someone saying how funny itd be if hiccup's sarcastic narration of the 1st movie's opening scene was actually the names of place#hence ''freezing to death'' ''hopeless'' and especially ''the meridian of misery''#idk how i feel abt the bewilderbeast under berserker island so instead they're barely located in the red death's territory hence the lack o#raids#and since they're not in war w the dragons n don't get raided they have more people and can actually afford resources and time to things#like fighting other ppl and pillaging like actual vikings#the upper square is the map that berk&berserkers&freezing to death etc use#they're all p concerned w the dragon raids so there's not much energy put to exploring or interacting w Other ppl#n traders rarely go there#they're the weirdos who've settled too close to a dragon nest in the north#n the lower square is the map viggo has and where his Dragon Hunters mainly operate#im thinking of shifting that more to the right to put the rookery where the 'northern markets' currently are#also something that bothers me is that we never rly explore any normal villages#like we've got berk&the berserkers. then we've got uhh 2 dragon-friendly islands the dragon hunters and drago#like who is buying all that dragon product? who are the tribes of the other chieftains in the meeting drago burned down?#where is everyone???
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h-how do you ever finish any of your work? genuine question because you seem to be productive despite your agreste syndrome and I need to learn your ways. but also how do you ever finish any of your work
unclear. last night i stayed up and finished a report worth 25% of my grade at about 5am, arrived on time for my 9am lecture, and spent about half of it zoned out while thinking about seventeen year old emilie agreste. and i was one of the most active participants in the class discussion
#in some ways it IS the move to go to grad school right out of undergrad#because your body can still sort of operate like a college kid#i’m on about 3ish hours of sleep rn and this morning it felt SO over but now i’ve eaten something and we’re so back#i also don’t really do caffeine. except sometimes i’ll go get one of those panera death lemonades#i might be able to snag a short nap before work#but anyway about seventeen year old emilie. i was thinking abt how she was in that movie solitude and adrien said she was seventeen#WAIT. NO. HE SAID SHE WAS SEVENTEEN IN THAT PHOTO ON HIS DESKTOP NOT IN THE MOVIE#well. okay whatever i’m gonna tell you what i was thinking about anyway#OKAY i’m back i just checked the wikipedia page and then i watched the end of gorizilla. to make sure i’m not lying. because i’m normal.#anyway i was thinking about the solitude film and how it’s super rare and old and obscure and whatever. and how apparently#emilie wrote it herself and andre produced it#and i’m thinking about how gabe was discovered by audrey and that’s how he got his start in the fashion industry#so now i’m like?? did gabe and emilie first meet on the set of solitude? because gabe was designing costumes or whatever?#and that’s how audrey found him? have people already thought about this??#also i just checked and it doesn’t say emilie’s last name in the credits and also it’s ‘graham films’ with the twin rings logo m#so i’m assuming she’s still emilie graham de vanily at that point#anyway it comes back to seventeen year old emilie because i started imagining seventeen year old runaway emilie having her new life in pari#after escaping her british nobility life#and the first thing she does is write and star in an original movie. of course.#and she meets this repressed bisexual punk upstart costume designer who is so the opposite of everyone she’s ever known#and he’s immediately so unhealthily obsessed with her. which she appreciates.#and then they proceed to have the most toxic doomed evil relationship of all time#also she gets cheated because once gabe gets money he represses himself SO hard that he is now exactly like all the people emilie grew up w#but at least he’s still obsessed with her#this is what i was thinking about during class today. i don’t know how i get anything done either.#ml#anna rambles#asks
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Bernard definitely "knows a guy"
idk what situation he would need a guy for, but i feel like it wouldn't really matter. His life is just such a collection of weird situations, and he always just happens to know a guy because of it
Did he meet them through some weird online conspiracy boards? Did he meet them through the cult? Did he just extrovert really close to the sun and get away with it? Has this exact situation just happened so many times that he just knows the person he needs at this point? Honestly, he doesn't even know anymore
You know what he DOES know? A guy
#bernard dowd#dude hes been in so many situations id be so surprised if he didnt “know a guy” at LEAST once#i feel like it would happen enough times that the bats would start getting a little suspicious that hes more than just a civilian#like its that weird stage where theyre not sure if he knows their identities yet and if he does and hes NOT a civilian that complicates#things a little bit#but no. his life is just Like That#hes the least normal civilian in existence but at the end of the day hes literally just a guy#i feel like most of them would come from the cult?? bc most of their victims were teenagers right? or at least taken in as teens#depressed high schoolers know how to do some wild shit#so most of his guys are just ex cultists like him that he kept in touch with or smth#i think they should do more with the cult actually#bc we dont actually know all that much do we?#we know the initiations and about the chaos monsters and like where they operated and stuff#but like. thats about it?#i wanna know about the other cultists. i wanna about what exactly went down there. i wanna know how theyd naturally recruit people#i wanna know how bernard actually ended up joining. i wanna know what exactly was up with the chaos monsters#like. do we actually know any of this stuff? ive seen some stuff in like fanfics but is any of that canon? how much do we actually know?#bc as far as i know ive got no fucking clue. but is this information that we have? if someone knows pls tell me im so curious
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Bonus:
2.22 (46) / 2.24 (48) / 2.25 (49) / 2.35 (59) / 2.39 (63)
#like servant like sultana huh? but this time it's *Mahidevran* who apparently mirrors Gülşah as we see her rule later. both got these#positions so unexpectedly - it should've probably been someone else but it's them and they're *thrilled* as they can finally achieve what#they've always wanted through these promotions: to command power over these so despised people that have disrespected them; that they've#been embarrassed by; that have even taken their most cherished away; for Gülşah it's something more general/all-encompassing opposed by#many people while for Mahidevran it's something more specific opposed by a single person but both *feel* that same drive to seek#accountability and justice to the point of enacting revenge anyway. they both ultimately get carried away by that pull. they both operate#by letting people know they're in charge through pulling rank as an absolute lecturing that precise tradition and order that puts them#above brazenly issuing orders to discredit and/or outright punish those who've offended them: it's one person Mahi/Gülşah have a particular#beef with during their rules (Daye/Hürrem respectively) but Gülşah didn't show any resentment of Daye until that point thus Daye is more#the cumulative power Gülşah is starting to lord above while Hü is that exact hurt for Mahi bringing it all back to the general vs. personal#there're other notable differences here like in their speeches about order/tradition because quite a part of Mahi actually believes in#the good these traditions can bring and their necessity as much as she resents their restrictive ruthlessness but Gülşah doesn't believe in#any tradition really she just mirrors what she's seen and known her entire life using it just for her goals no more no less;#for Gülşah all will be okay only when they do what she says because she's so understandably insecure about her authority over *everyone*#while for Mahi all will be fine only when the order is kept in general including there being no unrest among the concubines#(hence peace; another pre-Manisa to post-Manisa transitional point perhaps?); they both want 2 certain ağas to “understand” but while they#say they do without much/any question for Mahi no matter how much they dislike it they are almost forced to by Gülşah and they don't hide#not their dislike but *disregard*; even Gülşah's short rule is telling of her position: SS dismissing her is completely out of her control#she's removed before even doing all that much - another symbolic reminder of how little agency she has - while SS dismissed Mahi because#she truly screwed up a lot in spite of her being framed this is the one time she was given *all* the agency; they both encounter the person#they're replaced with but with Gülşah it happens immediately to highlight the out-of-reach suddenness while with Mahi it happens afterwards#as a result almost. I included the bonus parallels because while Mahi didn't rule the harem then it was almost a set-up for that with a S2B#bent to it while Gülşah as treasurer highlights that this is indeed a harem within the harem; it's Mustafa's harem now as a preparation for#Manisa while also being a culmination of Gülşah's own arc (I kind of like that in spite of their relations being brought back to normal#Gülşah still doesn't have that many scenes with Mahi or in general compared to S01; it adds to this little rule's culminative feel)#also Mahi looking carefully through the concubines to truly pick who she thinks is best while Gülşah is just ecstatic to make calls at all!#magnificent century#muhteşem yüzyıl#mahidevran sultan#gulsah hatun
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The thing with timelords is that yeahh theyre people but theyre also sort of complicated moving sculptures. or they all see themselves or function in some way as Projects as much as people. partially because doylistically, they... are.
#projects in the sense of something being put together for a particular aim. not projection#'a piece of planned work or activity that is completed over a period of time and intended to achieve a particular aim'#thank u cambridge dictionary online.#and like. i dont think that watsonianly as a character the master is a vanity project fsdgdfg that would be#mean and wrong and stupid to say. but the Entity Known As The Master is mostly another smaller entity- called a Person-#inside doing a weird vanity project.#the doctor is an endless work table with one million starts in different interests and directions. building the ultimate reinessance man. b#t theyre almost too easy to discuss.. they have more going on but#the THING is how most time lords are tied to The State as like a weird appendage. or are people which are trying to be thhe best#new innovation-y type of cog in the machine that is the state. and then theyre suprised theyre fucked up#this is actually prompted by a brax paragraph @i-am-become-a-name just posted from their brax reading project-#hes going 'everyone. act naturally' and then puts his feet on the table which. works but is the last brax thing ever#cuz braxiatel is the Project of Appearing To Be. often various types of normal things but mostly just. thats what he operates w#idk. idk. you get what im putting down?
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Can't stop thinking about Irey slowly suffocating, being choked to death, five feet away from the world's greatest heroes. This little girl was dying at the hands of a monster and yet they were moving so fast that none of the heroes in the room even knew they were there.
She was staring at half of the Justice League and no one could save her.
Her thoughts were screaming for help so loudly that even the homicidal telepath strangling her wondered who she could possibly be asking for. There was no one to rescue her, so who was she calling out for?
Jai.
In a room full of superheroes Irey was only focused on Jai. Her brother. Her twin. Her other half. She was dying and he was frozen in time. She stared at him, unable to breathe, and he stared back, unable to comprehend.
But he didn't need to comprehend. Irey was calling for him. She needed his help. Conscious or not, he wasn't going to let that call go unanswered. His speedforce connection wasn't going to let that call go unanswered.
I just think it's beautiful that she reached out to the one person she would always reach out to, knowing he wouldn't be able to answer, and yet he did. He unconsciously reacted to his sister's distress and grabbed on.
Then Irey used him to beat the living hell out of the bad guys.
#She called him and called him and called him#and i think that's beautiful#Irey is good at calling people. She can call her dad to her as well. Jai is good at hearing distress calls through the speedforce.#he heard Wally when Wally was about to be executed#but they normally do it together#im not sure Irey has ever done it without Jai and vice versa#so its just... she didn't know that would work. Jai was frozen in time. and yet. his speedforce reacted FOR him#it takes two to operate a speedforce leash. it isn't a one man operation. Irey might've done 99% of the work there but she couldn't do it#without Jai's 1%#and i just#idk i just keep thinking about this#and how much they love each other
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"why did Zuko's memories portray Azula Like That? Is he an unreliable narrator? do the authors hate younger sisters"
Azula was openly Ozai's favorite, and even at that age she had enough political savvy to know that she can functionally do no wrong; the only time anyone expresses any kind of open disapproval of her at all is when her mother tells her off or complains about it. A rich child of that age who is also the favored daughter of one of the most powerful men in the country (and as Iroh doesn't seem to have much interest in politicking at all, Ozai likely had more political power than Iroh ever did), she could get away with pretty much anything she felt like doing, and she knew it
the most significant factor being, in addition to that, that she is emulating everything Ozai says and does; even if she doesn't BELIEVE it herself (and based on her other statements and actions at times when she doesn't have anything to gain by toeing the party line, she probably does), that is still going to color her world view and personal decisions
so, assuming Zuko's memories ARE accurate (and the show doesn't really do unreliable narrator that much), its pretty clear why Azula is Like That. It's because she's the openly favored child of a notoriously violent and cruel tyrant, and already a pampered child of the most powerful family in a country that reveres power and ferocity above anything else, and she is actively imitating that violent and cruel tyrant.
Given that we have little reason to believe anyone ever disciplined her in any shape or form beyond Ozai expressing disapproval of her actions (and its quite possible he's never really done that either), her behavior isn't surprising at all; if anything she should be significantly worse.
#according to family legend when i was a newborn my sister immediately tried to smother me in my sleep#so maybe this kind of infighting among children is just normalized for me?#like i kind of feel that siblings NOT constantly being at each other's throats is highly atypical#but again going by what i've seen in families in general is that this sort of rivalry is the sort of thing that tempers out of time#with the whole 'children are cruel because they have no concept that other people have feelings that matter'#so when you mature and get a better grasp on that sort of thing you see less of it#again in my family we went from my siblings essentially torturing me continously to#tolerating each other's existences basically#so that ALSO pans out with what we see with Azula and her going from taunting her brother over ozai apparently going to kill him#to her genuinely trying to help him in her own weird way#though still doing it in a way that she'll end up in a favorable position#though that might say less about Azula herself#and that's just how the Fire Nation royal court rolls#if family members murdering each other for power ISN'T standard operating procedure in the FN#i'd be REALLY surprised#queued
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I need to stop having one weird reaction with someone and then letting the anxiety decide in my head that the friendship is doomed because I ruined it like it's my absolute worst trait and I just have to move past it but it's hard
#i have to operate under the assumption that if people have an issue they will tell me but unfortunately this isnt true .#and it has happened to me in the past that i thought everything was ok because people were giving signals i wasnt picking up on#due to the autism so now im paranoid and constantly looking for signs i did something wrong and people are mad#and then i find them where they arent there which perversely does more to ruin a friendship than almost anything else#like the constant Are you mad at me... so i try to force myself not to do that and just#try to again assume that people arent however. im so worried about being blindsided Also of course i naturally dont want to make people#upset so if i am doing something wrong i want to change my behavior. however the fact its nuanced like#where you have to only do that a little bit and then take people at their word most of the time#fucking sucks like you actually are required in relationships to read peoples unspoken signals but you cant do that Too much#and if you misinterpet them its bad... but you cant ask for feedback too much because thats bad too. IT DOES MY HEAD IN actually like#it makes it so hard for me to interact with people because im just worried All of the time . and i have to be constantly like#ok check the facts and adjust behavior. check the facts and adjust behavior. make sure the facts are facts and not jumping to conclusions.#ok how do i do that . ok when do i ask directly. also people dont always tell the truth when you Do ask directly .#and then this is why my whole life i have mostly kept to myself and im trying to stop doing that but its hard because talking to others is a#puzzle for me that stresses me out more than anything else. man this sucksssssss can i just BE NORMAL!!!!!!#i know like Everyone has this problem its a common issue with relationships Communication but it feels especislly difficult for me .i#like cant fathom how other people manage very large numbers of friendships like even being able to count my close friends#on one hand i feel like im barely managing everything and im letting everyone down constantly but again i think thatsnonly my perception/#worry and not even true. god
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#curious observation time#not trying to point fingers or invoke any level of drama#and please someone point out if i've missed something#but i do think it is a tad odd#or at least very telling#that....zero (0) people in kpop have#commented at all on liam from 1D dying#when people are crawling out of the woodwork left and right#to give tributes and condolences#i'm sure there is a lot less overlap there#with people who ever actually interacted with him#but the silence feels extra loud when every global non-korean boy group#from the last....3-4 decades at this point#has said SOMETHING#again i know it's not really how kpop operates#to comment on current events or really....anything outside of loving their fans#and maybe it's the drug connection#or all the commentary about consequences of making kids into celebrities#that makes them not want to touch it with a ten foot pole but#it's really kind of driving home what a bubble kpop lives in for me#like this alternate universe where nothing else happens in the world except kpop#which i think is why i got sucked in during the pandemic#but now that the world has gone back to normal#it does sometimes feel like a weird place to be#but also#if dating and smoking and a tipsy scooter ride is the epitome of scandal#where do you even put larger world problems#sorry this has taken a turn#the escapism of kpop is one if it's draws#but sometimes it feels bizarre to be in here and realize how much you're ignoring
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Other favorite bits from the Dorley reread: Lorna's Paranormal Investigator Arc™
#tfw you're the only normal trans girl in a story about a forcefem kidnapping ring#and you're dating your ''cis'' girlfriend who gets you hormones ''from the internet''#and slowly noticing how there's things she's not telling you and how her and her friend group are all weird about the same things#and then one day your girlfriend's equally cis friend is tired and distracted and asks your girlfriend if she can use some of her ''pills''#and they both briefly freeze and then awkwardly smooth the interaction over but you KNOW#your whole social circle is trans people you go to trans rights rallies on the regular you KNOW that social interaction#you know this cis girl just asked your cis girlfriend if she could borrow some of her estrogen and what the FUCK#and all the little things are adding up and you start digging and they're all connected to this one dorm on campus--#and IS MY GIRLFRIEND IN A CULT???#WHAT IS HAPPENING#you're infiltrating this incredibly foreboding institution and all these girls are smiling too evenly at you and trying to steer you away#and IS THIS THE STEPFORD WIVES??? ARE THEY GOING TO HUMAN SACRIFICE ME??? WHAT IS GOING ON#because that's what Dorley is like looking in from the outside#and then all the while you see from the other PoVs what she's up against:#just the stupidest most neurotic group of codependent trans girls who are flailing rapidly in a comedy of errors#trying to figure out how to tell you the truth without you freaking out#or without it sounding stupid as hell#they're so fucking stupid Lorna I cannot emphasize enough what a pack of idiots these girls are it is NOT a slick operation#dorleyposting
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"I'm from space" licherally ur from iowa jim
#jim kirk my silly lil genius boyfriend 💞💘💕☺️💗💝😚💞🥰#OMGGG THERE HE IS ITS HIM RIGHT THERE#HES THE SMARTEST PERSON IN ANY ROOM HE DOESNT KNOW HOW TO OPERATE A REVOLVING DOOR HES A GENIUS THOTTY IDIOT#strange new worlds#star trek#jim kirk#JAMES T KIRK!!!!!!! JIMMY!!!! JIMJAMS!!! JIMBO!!!!! JIMMY BOY!!!!! JAMES T K I R K#i want to put him on display so people can clap and cheer and call him a good boy all day long#i will not be normal about him that is a promise and or a threat
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lmao I still can't believe these fascist dickheads left their GOTV operation to fuckin' Charlie Kirk. Their plan this election includes having the world's least likable man teaching the world's least likable henchghouls how to be normal enough to talk to people and I, quite frankly, don't think either side of that equation has it in them to succeed.
#They've got 150m to run the main GOTV operation through TPUSA and quite frankly lmao#This is not an organization with the sort of national footprint to do what they want it to do.#And they are in fact deeply offputting as people because of their beliefs and the tactics of which they approve#So I genuinely do not see them bridging the gaps they need to do this well#It's invisible so a lot of pundits forget to credit it#But the GOTV aspect of a campaign is way more important than many people realize#And they're flat out punting on it from the choices they've made in that regard#Which like isn't to say this is a cakewalk but these dipshits are extremely beatable#Their idea of being normal is 'act like Ned Flanders'#and I gotta admit that for them that might bring them closer to the mark#But it also shows how ill prepared they are to achieve the actual goal of being normal
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Hello Fellow American! Me am an American Woman, you should come to Arbys Meat Restaurant, Where we Have The Meats! As our slogan you have heard from hamburger vision box. Eat Our Afforadble Beef Meat Today .
#196#r/196#shitpost#rule#food blogger#do people think this is how normal people operate#it just sounds so robotic#get that bag girlie but#at what cost
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Recent things.. mostly just writing screenshots lol
#There's a water problem in the apartment so thats been taking most of my attention lol.. the way maintenance happens here is just#this big long vague wait with no clear communication. You just send in a request to the apartment building and then you might hear from the#any weekday from 8am - 4pm any time after that. Sometimes it's quick but sometimes its like days before you hear anything. So then#you just have to be operating under the assumption that at any time during working hours you might get a call or a knock at the door#Like if you were expecting company at any time for a week straight ghjhj.. ANYWAY.. I've been working on making a little discord#server thing for the game maybe for playtesters to communicate in initially i guess but then also after it's out or... something like that.#no idea how all of that works. but you hear about people doing it. or something... Still not entirely sold on the idea since I'm not really#a big user of discord format speaking (like little chats and stuff) but.. again idk.. seems like.. common.. for things...(< socially odd#hermit fumbling through trying to imitate what '''normal''' people do/enjoy/desire lol..). Since I think my biggest issue is I am very bad#at socializing and thus marketing since a lot of that is social. The type to just google ''what do people do about games once they've#made them'' and just go after whatever the top 10 things apparently are hjbjhbjh... But like I said. still unsure it will be utilized. it#all feels very awkward to me. then again most things do. But that's what the ''overall progress'' screenshot is from. the little channel#where I've been posting updates to myself lol. Also ''coding'' in that being used very lightly consdering it's ren'py and I'm only using#the very bare bones most basic functionality of it lol. Extremely intense highly daunting master level coding such as ''if x then y''. gbjh#slacked on writing a lot due to the evil maintenance and such things... and just general... appointments... events... aughhhhhh#I think it's Goose Time here or something because nearly every day I hear big V shaped rows of geese flying by like multiple#times a day and they're so pretty and neat to watch. They've really inspired me somehow. Today it was rainy and gray skied and high winds#and cold (some of my favorite most beautiful weather) and I went out to check the mail and like 6 or 7 rows of geese fluttered#by in the air. I felt like that meme image of that guy that looks kind of weird (william dafoe??) and its like black and white and#he's looking up at something almost teary eyed wide eyed in awe.. The goose... those are my goose.. the universe sent those gooses just#for me and the high speed winds blowing my coat open and chilling my face... a tender platonic kiss from the world is often delivered#by way of chilly weather and bird formations.. peace and love on planet earth truly..#OH and of course.. boy with boy!!!! shout out to those little mcdonalds toy animal plushies from like 2006 or something. I found the#gray cat one and was like.. hrmm.. I have one of those as well (a real life gray cat). surely they're friends now.
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