#is this completely incomprehensible maybe but I’m still going to post it

[the-abyssal-system]

Guys I’ve actually been lying this whole time, I don’t have certified DID. You see, I experience derealization, which obviously no person with certified DID experiences

[morbidpandabear-blog]

Farming Feline

Date posted — March 13 2025

Hybrid! Yoongi x Reader

Warning! — Down on his luck Yoongi, and fluff.

———————————————————————————

Y/N had always enjoyed the simple life on her farm. There was something about the steady rhythm of farm life that kept her grounded. The early mornings, the soft rustle of the wind through the wheat fields, the clucking of the chickens—all of it had become a comfort. It was just her, a small house, a few horses, and a whole lot of hay.

But one night, everything changed.

It started with the horses. They were whinnying, stomping their hooves, and generally making a racket that would’ve woken the dead. Y/N, groggy and annoyed, slipped out of bed and pulled on her thick flannel robe.

"Great," she muttered under her breath. "Probably just some raccoons again. Or maybe a fox... Who knows, at this point."

Y/N grabbed a flashlight and trudged out to the barn, hoping to quiet the animals and go back to sleep. But as soon as she stepped inside, she froze.

There, in the far corner, curled up like a cat in a sunbeam, was a man. Or, well, sort of a man. He had the body of a human, but his ears? Feline. Pointed, twitching ears. His eyes gleamed in the flashlight’s glow—bright, slitted pupils, the kind of gaze that made you think he could see through you.

She blinked. Then blinked again.

"Uh… hello?" she called out, trying to sound casual despite the fact that there was a hybrid in her barn.

The figure stirred, lifting his head. His hair was dark, almost black, and messy in a way that somehow still looked deliberate, like he had spent hours perfecting that disheveled look.

His voice was low, and a little gruff as he yawned, "What?"

Y/N took a cautious step forward. "What... are you doing here?"

The man, cat? looked at her as if the question was completely ridiculous. "What does it look like? I’m napping."

Y/N stared. "In my barn."

"Yeah, well," he shrugged, his tail flicking lazily behind him. "I like barns. Good hay here."

"Right," Y/N said, trying to process what she was seeing. "Okay, um... you can't just sleep here. This is my barn."

The man—Yoongi, as it turned out after a few awkward moments of trying to get his attention—grumbled something incomprehensible. "I’ll leave in the morning."

Crossing her arms she spoke. "What’s your deal anyway?” Ignoring her question Yoongi began to pick at the hay underneath him.

"Right listen man," she said slowly. "I’m... I’m gonna need some answers. Like, why are you here? And—"

"I could ask you why you live on a farm in the middle of nowhere," he interjected, his tone still as gruff as ever, but Y/N couldn’t help noticing the flicker of humor in his eyes.

Y/N paused, biting back a laugh. "Fair point. But you still have to leave."

Yoongi sighed dramatically and stretched out, his tail flicking in an almost annoyed manner. "Look, lady. I’m... in between jobs. It’s hard enough to keep a job as a hybrid, let alone an apartment. So I thought I’d take a little nap before I figure out what to do with my life. Didn’t know the barn came with a roommate."

Y/N raised an eyebrow. "How about we make a deal?"

"Yeah? What kind of deal?" he asked, his tone skeptical.

"It’s simple, I’ll let you have the spare room and you can have all the food you want, but in exchange you work here around the farm." she said, hands on her hips. " I don’t know if you could tell but I could use an extra set of hands around here."

Yoongi gave her a blank stare. “A farmhand? Really? I’m not exactly cut out for... whatever this is.”

Y/N crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow. "Well, you're gonna have to do something or it wouldn’t be fair."

Yoongi grumbled something incoherent under his breath, clearly not thrilled with the idea. “Fine,” he muttered. “But don’t expect me to do anything that involves getting dirty. I’m a very clean person.” Y/N rolled her eyes. "You were trying to sleep in a barn, Yoongi."

———————————————————————————

The next few weeks were... interesting, to say the least. Yoongi wasn’t exactly what one would call a “hard worker.” He spent most of his time sitting around on hay bales, occasionally giving the chickens a half-hearted glare when they pecked too loudly. But Y/N had a feeling things would change sooner or later.

"Yoongi!" Y/N called one afternoon, holding a rake as she surveyed the field. "Why aren't you working?"

Yoongi, lounging on a pile of hay under the shade of an old oak tree, didn't even open his eyes. "I am working. I’m supervising."

“Supervising the hay bales?”

“I have a lot of experience in management,” he said, stretching his arms behind his head and yawning. Y/N huffed, trying not to laugh. “Alright, you manage that hay and I’ll get to the rest of the farm. And no more napping, okay?”

“Fine, fine,” Yoongi muttered, reluctantly hopping off the hay and walking toward the barn. “But only because you’re making me.”

———————————————————————————

As time went on, something started to change. Yoongi began to open up little by little. It started with small, random comments. When she made lunch one afternoon, he commented on how good the smell of her homemade bread was. He’d make remakers with only a hint of sarcasm now about how “ Maybe your food is better than scraps." though Y/N knew he secretly enjoyed every meal. And even though he was still aloof, he started showing up more regularly to help her with things—mending fences, feeding the animals, and even walking the horses when she needed a break.

One evening, after a long day of work, Y/N and Yoongi sat together on the porch, watching the sun dip below the horizon. She turned to him, sipping her lemonade, and noticed that he was... actually looking at her. Not just glancing, not looking past her, but genuinely looking, his coal black eyes thoughtful.

"Hey, Yoongi," she said, trying to break the silence. “You’re... not as bad as I thought you’d be.”

Yoongi smirked, though it was less cold now and more... fond. “Yeah? You’re not as annoying as I thought either.”

Y/N laughed, enjoying the lighthearted teasing. “Well, I guess that makes two of us.”

For a moment, they sat in comfortable silence. Then Yoongi, looking at her more seriously, and spoke, his tone full of sincerity, "Thanks for letting me stay here. I know I’m not exactly the ideal farmhand, but... I appreciate it."

Y/N smiled, setting her glass down. "You’re starting to grow on me. Don’t get used to it, though."

He raised an eyebrow. "What, am I supposed to become some lovable farm cat now?"

She chuckled. “Maybe.”

———————————————————————————

A few months later, Y/N could no longer deny it. She’d developed feelings for the quirky, sarcastic man with the cat ears. Yoongi had somehow wormed his way into her life, and she found herself smiling now when she saw him perched on hay bales or tossing a sarcastic quip her way.

One night, after they had finished up a long day of chores, Yoongi dropped his usual detached attitude and looked at her earnestly as they stood by the barn.

“I’ve... uh... been thinking,” Yoongi said awkwardly. “I’m not exactly great with feelings, but... maybe this isn’t just a work arrangement anymore.”

Y/N tilted her head, her heart racing. “What are you trying to say, Yoongi?”

Yoongi scratched the back of his neck, his tail flicking nervously behind him. “I don’t know. I guess... I kind of like being here with you. More than I should. You make things... better.”

Y/N’s heart melted. “I feel the same way, you know.”

Yoongi smiled—a rare, soft gummy smile that made her heart flutter. “Yeah?”

"Yeah," she replied softly, taking a step closer. “You’ve grown on me too.”

And just like that, Yoongi, the aloof, sarcastic cat hybrid, had gone from being an unexpected farmhand to the person she couldn't imagine her life without.

———————————————————————————

From then on, Y/N and Yoongi became more than just farm partners. They worked together, laughed together, and even did the little domestic things that made life so special. They cooked dinner together (and occasionally bickered about who was better at making pasta). They did laundry, each pretending to be the expert in folding, but secretly stealing each other’s shirts when the other wasn’t looking. And, yes, they even took turns herding the chickens—though it was clear Yoongi was much more graceful at it, given his cat-like reflexes.

Before long, the farm felt more like home than it ever had before. It was theirs—Yoongi’s and hers—full of laughter, love, and, of course, a little bit of sass.

[dannycasts]

TMAGP EP 10 SPOILERS (aka Danny spouts delusional theories that are probably incomprehensible and wrong)

Not sure how to feel about Magnus protocol 10… There’s a lot to take in honesty but I some thoughts

Firstly,,Worm tracks …. In my mind that’s sorta implying that Jane prentis still attacked the institute in this timeline, which changes my idea of what exactly happened there a lot- the worm attack would’ve happened awhile after Gertrude died but given she’s definitely still alive I take that to mean either Gertrude chose a later date to burn down the institute and either the attack happened in the meantime or she burned down the institute DURING the attack so Jonah would be distracted .. I think the latter is more likely

There’s also the possibility that the institute was burned down by accident by another employee desperately trying to kill Jane prentis, this sorta tracks since in the main tma timeline the fact that fire extinguishers could kill the worms was found completely by accident so the likelihood that anyone trapped in the building would find that out by accident AGAIN seems pretty low to me, leading them to try and set her on fire taking the institute down in the process

There is of course a third possibility, the possibility that Gertrude was never the archivist in this timeline or simply found a way to leave her post without gouging her eyes out.. this would make it possible for her to be alive and Jon still be the archivist, in this scenario Gertrude wasn’t the one who burned the institute but rather Martin, presumably killing himself and Jon in the process before either became inhuman enough to live through it— I’m sure it’d be Martin and non Jon because we’ve already seen Martin is willing and capable of burning down the institute and in a scenario where he discovered the true supernatural nature of the archive and his inability to quit sooner then he might choose to burn the institute down way before any other major events occurring, after Jane prentis but before the unknowing

These possibilities are rattling around in my brain really hard., another idea I had was that maybe Gertrude was the archivist but rather then finding some way to quit she was actually fired after Jonah found that Jon was a great candidate for the true archivist someone with a great chance to bring about the eyepocalypse

Maybe I’m going on about absolutely nothing here but these concepts do intrigue me…

Something else I noticed in this episode was Colin refusing coffee from Celia, this could be him being paranoid but it could also support the theory that food and drink consumed in the OIAR have some effect on a person.. regardless of who it’s coming from (either that or my personal theory that Celia is not to be trusted is true and Colin knows)

Unfortunately I don’t have anything to say about Mr Bonzo because I didn’t participate in the arg and don’t really understand his significance at this time… very interesting as an entity though, one might be quick to categorize him as a stranger but I’d go more for desolation with how he’s personally torturing Nigel and has apparently destroyed his life (that and if this were a stranger instance we’d have wayyyy too many of those so far)

That’s about all my input for this episode, toodaloo

[i-will-change-this-someday]

Ok, so I know in my last Midnight Burger post I already ranted about how I think Ava was in the wrong, but I'm going to rant some more.

(It is very long, and probably a bit incomprehensible.)

At the time, I was on ep 20, I assumed that she would get some growth and Caspar might not put up with her bullshit as much, but instead she just continues to be always right and justified in her behavior, and quite honestly, it's driving me insane.

Ava has, throughout the entire show, been incredibly rude to just about every single character, she constantly calls everyone idiots, including Leif, one of the best engineers in the galaxy.

When asked the very reasonable question of why these two astrophysicists should let her in to their observatory her response is to say she's smarter than them. It is so incredibly rude, Ava isn't a astrophysicists, she's a theoretical physicists; why would she know more than them, the astrophysicists, on astrophysics?

It's like she can't help insulting everyone she meets, and I understand that she is a woman in a male dominated field, but literally no one has ever doubted her intelligence. Not once has a character thought that she is unqualified or belittled her. It's not like everyone doesn't believe in her, and she's set on proving them wrong; she's just being a jerk.

And if it was like, her behavior got in the way of all her relationships and she needs to learn to be more empathetic and connect to others, then I wouldn't mind it as much, but her relationships are more or less fine with everyone. The only character you could argue she has any issues with is Caspar, but that's more about the unsaid feelings than her general attitude.

She's not even an emotionless scientist, which I guess good on her not being a stereotype, but then it just means she's can understand other people, and maybe empathize with them, and chooses to insult them ALL. THE. TIME. She CAN be nice and be thoughtful, like how she walked Clementine through her panic, but she decides to verbally demean everyone instead.

I'm not even saying she should try to be nice, just stop bullying the people who care and are always there for her. Like, it's nice she and Leif get to talk about science things, but she can't go 20 seconds without calling him dumb or saying how smart she is.

She complains about Clementine not facing any consequences, like Clementine didn't get burdened with everlasting guilt and was about to be torn apart a couple hours before. But thinks it’s completely fine that she essentially got off Scot-free after potentially endangering everyone at the diner. (Yes, she got shot in to space, but Caspar was right, it was safe, and she even got the answers she wanted.)

Like, I’m sorry, but what the hell kind of response is a smug “your welcome” to “hey, yeah, so all that stuff you said to me actually hurt a lot, and it emotionally scarred me.” Like, can you not for two minutes? Are you seriously incapable of being kind for a single moment!?

She is so flawed, but also a Mary Sue; like the flaws are there, but they're almost never addressed, and when they are, they get dropped easily or forgiven immediately.

To me, it's not charming; I don't like when a male character is hubristic but always right and always gets the last word, and I still don't like it when a female character does it.

And I know, she, finally, decides to "change" but has she really? I haven't listened too much past that episode, but that doesn't negate her previous actions.

[flowersbane]

since i can’t get solas out of my head, here’s a long post of me rambling about this song that reminds me of him d(￣ ￣)

warning for spoilers, obviously.

(this album is literally my life’s blood, i’m actually so obsessed with it)

“what is it that stays my hand now? with so much misery that i could mercifully put end to.”

i think this applies to both solas & lavellan. solas is planning on destroying the world, but he can’t bring himself to kill her before then. he knows the hurt he is causing, but he also cant bring himself to put an end to it in any way. i’ll talk more about how this applies to lavellan with the next line.

“for that animal i let slink off into the undergrowth, unscathed; do i not fear death, but just pretend to?”

solas is a god. lavellan, probably, logically knows there was no way she could have defeated him during their confrontation in trespasser, but i think afterwards, she might blame herself for “letting him go” after seeing the damage he causes in the following years after (especially if she didn’t even try to attack him).

“for it was starving, it was hungry, but had eyes to close to let me. if you were easy to kill, i would have done it already.”

more lavellan lines, yay. (most of this, i feel, suits lavellan’s perspective.) i interpret the phrase “easy to kill” as both if he were physically easy to kill & emotionally easy to kill.

“plagued by phantom noises, that that skeletal beast was haunting all my steps.”

obviously, the post-trespasser dreeeaaamsss!!! but also, & I’ll elaborate more on this with the coming lines, i think it could be applied to how lavellan retroactively perceives their relationship.

“questioning all my choices; with that dagger held unsheathed, i felt sick at my contempt”

wondering how many of her decisions during inquisition were shaped by solas’ advice. was he manipulating her in every aspect of their relationship & beyond? had she led the inquisition as herself or as solas’ puppet? if she were to still pursue his redemption, would it be because she believes in him or would it be because she’s conditioned to believe in him?

as for the second line, she doesn’t want to hate him, she doesn’t want them to be enemies, the very idea makes her sick. but she’s there, armed and ready regardless.

“for you were lonely”

his headstone in the fade, what else is there to be said? dying alone is his biggest fear? lonely, lonely bitch (affectionately). also, if lavellan chose to ask to go with him in trespasser, she says she can’t bear to think of him alone.

“you were like me”

when they first met, he was the only other elf around. as a dalish elf, i imagine she was relieved to see him & sort of, like, latched onto him immediately to some extent.

“like some outside force had sent me.”

the chosen of adraste, bb. (lol)

“if i was easy to kill, you would have done it already”

as for this, it’s completely emotional. obviously, he could kill her (or at least turn her to stone) without even lifting a finger, but he simply can’t bring himself to do it. he has to leave her because he knows how easy it would be for her to make him question himself. she’s a threat to his plans, but he simply can’t bring himself to dispose of her.

“you are at my feet, we’re by the fire. you’re a healthy, gentle, purring beast and i’m alive.”

i think this can definitely be interpreted as wishing language from lavellan, but i think it also just depicts their relationship post-trespasser. she knows he’s the dreadwolf, but she also knows he’s not cruel, not evil. she’s alive, which is conflicting for him as his nature is for her.

“(if you were easy to kill, i would’ve done it already)”

having this as the final, echoing line is just— *incomprehensible* AGH! to me, it’s like a promise and a warning from lavellan. during trespasser & maybe immediately after, he’s emotionally & physically difficult to kill. but will he always stay that way? will he remain redeemable in her eyes if he continues this path? will there be a breaking point in which he BECOMES easy to kill? AH, the angst, the tragedy, i just— *incomprehensible* i don’t know, i don’t know.

of course, all of this could be completely flipped on its head in veilguard so who knows?

i just need that game right nooowww!!!

[alaskas-space-project]

rant so I can sleep tonight

as I write this, trump currently has 267 points (or whatever the fuck they are) and he needs like, 270. So uh, fuck. And thus democracy dies to the sound of thunderous applause.

I’m not a political scientist, I’m a stupid teenager who has zero idea how the US works and doesn’t really want to. This is just going to be a rant post. A uncoordinated, stupid, incomprehensible and contradictory rant post.

FUCK. I hate that the US election affects everyone around the world. Like, huh? Whatever yall 300 million vote affects the rest of us 7.7 billion. I don’t want to give a shit about the US election—like I don’t give af about Slovakia (sorry Slovakians) because it doesn’t directly affect my country’s government and shit.

By the way, US allies, you’re not safe from a coup either. Look at Australia—with one of the largest US bases outside of the US at pine gap. When the Aus govt even thought about trying to cut funding, the US staged a fucking coup in an allied country. Ousting a popular, democratically elected PM. Since then, Australia has never done anything to piss the US off ever again.

what is going to happen in Ukraine? I mean, I know people don’t really give a shit now that it’s not mainstream media or trendy to care. It’s US weapons that are holding the frontline in Ukraine. It is US F-16’s that Ukraine is using to protect their skies now. It is US HIMARS and PATRIOT systems that prevent civilian casualties. The US military industrial complex with all its slimy tentacles is an awful being, but for Ukraine, it’s that, or Russia.

and maybe if you know shit or shat about Ukrainian history you’ll understand why Russia isn’t a option.

With Elon Muskrat basically puppeteering Trump at this point, we have to look at what he wants. Which is like, money and ego stroking. Ukraine is rich with natural resoures—oil, natural gas, coal, iron and lithium. I probably sound mildly insane, but if Russia gets these resources, I suspect that somehow, someway, that lithium is going to end up in Musk’s hands.

Trump says he wants to end the war in Ukraine. There aren’t a lot of ways to do that. A Ukrainian win—where the occupied territories end up home—requires either a collapse of the Russian government, or a long, bloody, Verdun-esque war, which we’ve already seen around Bakhmut and across large parts of the front. Either way, if Russia fails to win, I can’t see a future with Putin still on top.If Russia goes nuclear in Ukraine, Putin will be dead within 24 hours and Russia will be surrendering soon after.

A Russian win looks like either a complete absorption of Ukraine into Russia, or an absorbtion of the eastern oblasts and the establishment of a puppet regime in Eastern Ukraine, similar to Belarus. This is the faster option, really. If the US cuts off aid to Ukraine, Europe can only do so much if they want to keep their own militaries in shape as well. Which, with Russia eyeing up the Baltic states and the Suwałski gap…. the war is draining both sides—with NATO confirming North Korean troops in Russia, and with Ukraine’s constant need for aid resupply—everyone is tired of this. Everyone is running out of bullets and soldiers. Something has to change. Please, don’t let it be at the cost of Ukraine.

fuck. I’m just a stupid teenager with an obsession with history, I don’t know shit. I’m just scared and angry most of all.

[val-the-protoss-simp]

Yeah Ihave a few difvbduhfvdv. I'm glad you enjoy my traumatised purple bean! I see this as a pretty tall order because it feels like there’s a million of them fvhidbfvkd but yeah okay, I’ll do what I can to somewhat introduce them. If anything, it might help with the crushing, overwhelming feeling of not knowing what and when to start uploading shit because of the literal *hundreds* pieces of art I accumulated over the past few years. I’ll also divide this into three parts because otherwise this post would be way too long.

Part 1/3 the Tal'darim <- you're here

Part 2/3 the Khalai

Part 3/3 the Nerazim

The Tal’darim

Dal’ranak is probably the most developed Taldy I have and also the oldest, dating to maybe 2016 or 2017. He remains mostly unchanged from how I imagined him back then, only receiving desing tweeks last year because I wanted him to look more spiky. He was kind of a foil to Zhakul (who we will talk about later) and a “looks into the camera like he's on the Office” moment that showed you can’t solve your problems by getting angry at them and beating them up. He has a really mean mommy and makes it everyone’s problem for like the first eighty, ninety years of his life before he goes “Ah, maybe I shouldn’t be an asshole. Maybe the problems I deal with are my own to deal with and I shouldn’t take my mommy issues on everyone else.” 

So as any sane person would, he then decides to kill his mother in a Rak’Shir as revenge for making him that way in the first place. You know. As you do. A completely normal reaction imo. Anyway, while he’s climbing the Chain to get to Y’rash’s Ascendant position just to kill her, he realises how deeply flawed and messed up his society is and after he yeets her, decides to attempt to become the Highlord just so he can break the cycle and free his people from their self-imposed misery.

I haven’t yet decided if he will succeed. Like, he 100% yeets Y’rash (Rest In Piss) but idk if he makes it to Highlord yet, mostly because I’m not sure if he’s both physically and mentally strong enough to get on the very top of the Chain of Ascension and then survive Tal’darim cutthroat politics while he essentially forces his entire race to do a 180 of their entire culture.

(Dal's story also used to be veeeeery different back in like 2017 when I came up with him, in a sense that him and Zhakul became a ThingTM down the centuries. But as I grew older, I realised how incredibly fucked up and toxic this would be and decided that this just isn't the kind of story I want to write about, especially not for Zhakul. So Dal's was changed in about 2021/2022 to what it is now.)

Nerus. I keep scrapping and reviving this character over and over again because I cannot decide whether his story is good/interesting enough to go with (Also because it’d be strongly tied to yet another character and I’m not sure *this* is the best path for her to take) I think he’s from, like, early 2022?? Anyway, it was from a time I still HCd that protoss crests never stopped growing and since this bitch was supposed to be like 800 years old, his was fucking massive. 

(Also from a time I HCd that the older a protoss is, the more bony and spiky they look until they essentially resemble a mummified body. Which ended up being a double edged sword for me because it meant drawing him with a really thin face and I don’t particularly like protoss with very thin, almost beak-like faces because they then remind me too much of a Tesla logo ifhbvkdfvdgb)

I love the kind of stories where, like, a god that was killed didn’t actually die. That thing is too divine and too powerful to truly be killed, something too incomprehensible for mortal minds to ever understand. The idea that the corpse of a god still radiates some kind of energy or magic that can be harnessed for whatever reason, that it still seeps out of the carcass and influences the world it died in is very very interesting to me, and also whether this residual energy could  be harnessed in whatever way to bring that divine being back to life. The Xel'naga are born of the Void and can shape it to their will, it's a part of them, forever and always. Amon already came back once, so why not again? 

The way I see it, Nerus was a powerful priest of some Amon-centred religion/cult for a looooooong time and was completely dedicated to his god and the duties his position enticed. His only goal in life would be to serve him, whatever it meant, even if the will of his god was the eradication of Nerus’s own people and the universe as a whole. 

He greatly disliked Alarak from the moment he defeated Nuroka in a Rak'shir because he saw him as a potential threat to his religion and his god's great plan, which would only escalate when Alarak actually became the Highlord and was like "Lmfaoooo, Amon fucked us over, guys, time to yeet him" Nerus then saw his life’s work collapse all around him as nearly all Tal’darim turned their backs on Amon and instead joined Alarak in his quest to kill him. The ultimate heresy. He then went into voluntary exile and set himself on a path of finding out how to revive his dead god, because he wants nothing more but to serve him. He doesn't care how many people die on his quest, or even if he personally is successful. He only cares about figuring out if it's possible and either doing it himself or preparing someone else to do it in his stead.

And, as if this bitch wasn’t creepy enough, he was like 11ft tall and VERY spindly as additional contrast to the character he was supposed to share the story with, who was barely 5ft artist challenge: draw your OC in a way Vivziepop would draw them-*gunshot*

Y’rash, formerly Ulzea, because her original name sounded Nerazim-y instead of something a Taldy would be called. I fucking hate this character, mostly because I can’t get her design to look the way I want to. She’s on her *fourth* redesign now and I am STILL not satisfied with the way she looks. The black and white sketch of her is the most recent one and the one that’s most accurate to how I imagine her but it’s still not a 100%

Anyway, this is Dal’s mommy that was mentioned earlier (whether she’s his biological mother or just someone who stole a child and brainwashed them into thinking she’s their parent is left for interpretation. Probably the latter, who knows. I know.) She only ever saw him as a meatshield to use for her own gain and protection. Y’rash was a fairly highly positioned Ascendant but also unlike many others who climb the Chain because of ambition, power or just to hone their skills, she was comfortable where she was in the link because of the power it offered her, also being low enough to escape most political attention and not be deemed a big threat. The problem was that the only way she could stay where she was meant she had to beat anyone who challenged her for her position, and she didn’t particularly want to risk someone stronger than her climbing up and usurping her (read: kill her to get her job)

So, as any sane person would do, she decided to bring up her own child in a way that would assure her place in the Chain, meaning that Dal was supposed to hone his combat skills, become *stronger* than her and eventually climb, only to then position himself directly under her, so any potential challenger goes after him and not her, all while he’s completely brainwashed into blind loyalty towards her. He was one of many, but was her absolute favourite (read: he was the strongest) and for a while, he enjoyed the kind of twisted attention she “showered” him in because it was the closest thing to love he experienced so far. 

That all ended when he got gravely injured on Endion, losing a whole limb, while the rest of his "siblings" made it out of the war with lesser injuries. This catapulted him from the position of the faavourite child to the very bottom of the family hierarchy, which he wasn't coping with at all. He was desperate for Y'rash's approval and as such was agreed to everything his mother wanted of him to win it back, something that eventually got him on Shakuras where he met Zhakul. Bla bla bla some shenanigans ensue, he gets a taste of what real love and kindness is, then it's all ripped away from him again because of his own hubris. He decides to blame Y'rash for this and the rest can be found in his section ifbvifjhnbf

(Story is subject to change tho. This was made up around 2016/2017 when I was still a teenager and I now see this as something very outdated with about as many plotholes as a cobweb has. I started rewriting this in early 2023 but because I only have such raw, early concepts for this story, I still see this as the more coherent of the two plotlines so for now this one is canon for the AU. So. Subject to change)

ANYWAY. Her plan kinda falls apart when her son decides that he’s had enough of her bullshit , comes back to Slayn and starts climbing the Chain with the intention to kill her instead of just taking a secure place right beneath her. She sees this as the ultimate betrayal, of course, but oh well. Maybe next time take your son to Disneyland once a decade or so to better make him believe your bullshit.

[sing-me-under]

Been thinking about FundyWasTaken and the Dreamon Hunters bit again recently. When I was really deep into my AU, the only way I could rationalize that bit was to just split Fundy into two characters: c!Fundy Soot, son of c!Wilbur Soot, and Dage (short for Fundage) Wastaken, ex-fiance of c!Dream. Dage is like 70% an OC at this point but it’s still basically Fundy.

I’m going to rant about my AU’s timeline for Dage because I put way too much effort into this crack idea.

I had this idea that Sally and Dage were siblings (both salmon hybrids) and also dreamon hunters because I really loved the fics where Sally was a pirate on c!Puffy’s ship prior to crashing in the SMP. (Does anyone else think it’d be so fucking interesting if c!Puffy was a dreamon hunter despite having adopted Dream? Like, the narrative irony would be ridiculous. From my understanding, dreamons are thought to possess players, but I’ve always held the hc that Dream himself is a dreamon.) Anyway, Sally settled down in the port town that would become L’Manberg and would meet Wilbur. Meanwhile, Dage would continue his dreamon hunting.

Dage would meet up with his sister every so often in Dream’s SMP. (That’s also how he’d met c!Dream in the first place. They’d keep in contact and get engaged but it’s a long-distance engagement because of Dave’s wanderlust. DNF isn’t canon the SMP, but the age old mutual longing that just never worked out that is very much there. c!George gets married to Ninja later anyway.)

Dage would also be there when c!Wilbur showed up with c!Tubbo and c!Tommy. Tommy avoided Wilbur and Sally’s courtship like the plague to do his own thing in The Community (better known as the original Greater SMP but for world building, I call it The Community), and Tubbo more or less became Dage’s apprentice and left the SMP for a bit. When Tubbo came back, that’ll be when he’s officially joined the SMP.

Tubbo returns to the SMP because Sally just divorced Wilbur and left c!Fundy in Wilbur’s care. At this point, Fundy is a little older, around 10-12-ish. Fundy grew up listening to stories about his really cool dreamon hunter uncle, and when he decided to transition, he chose Fundage as his new name. To distinguish him, Sally called him Fundy.

This all accumulates to the Dreamon Hunter arc where Tubbo is certain that Dream’s been possessed. He tried to exorcise Dream on his own, commits Fundy follows after him, curious about the trade his namesake uncle taught Tubbo. They also drag Sapnap into it. After failing and seemingly widening the situation, Tubbo calls in his mentor, and Dage is like “Oh no! My fiancé!” Dream has since realized he’s fucked up and pretends to be successfully exorcised through the power of love.

Anyway, after all this drama is finally over, Dage decides to finally settle down and properly have a wedding. It’s this massive extravagant thing outside of the SMP because of Dream’s SMP’s technological limitations. Dream realizes that he can’t keep lying to Dage, constantly on this tightrope of survival with Damocles sword threatening to ruin everything, so he runs away from the altar and pretends to elope with George.

Thus worsening Dream’s already precarious emotional state 😀

Dage also proceeds to never return to the SMP. Maybe he sends like a birthday present to Fundy once a year, but without Sally there and a broken relationship with Dream, he had no reason to return.

Anyway, thanks for reading! This was probably completely incomprehensible but I’m glad I’ve finally got it out of my system. I’ve been holding onto this for YEARS. Better late than never lol. Might post more Hero’s Journey AU again. This AU is my child

[skhardwarevers2]

[put grief here please thanks] <- that is actually what I put in this draft so I knew what it was for omfg…

Intro as written in the original document:

It’ll never live up to ARTCON, sure–but one can try and try I will. 

If I ever figure out what this is about. It’s not a sequel to the incomprehensible slop that was ARTCON, I need a more coherent idea than that.

Okay, maybe it’s not a sequel to ARTCON but maybe heavily based on it and about N/A…thought stuff and what-not

The Unheard Point of View from Creature Feature: The Finale

[you know me, my writing is weird. If you’ve read and vaguely remember ARTCON it’s like that obviously.]

tags as written on my original post of this

[!!TW!!: BUGS, GORE, ORGANS, BODY HORROR, AND JUST REALLY CREEPY CRAWLY THINGS]

I remember(?) being awake for the first time. I couldn’t recall what had happened–I just knew that it hurt. It still did, does, and will(I would assume). It wasn’t the initial hit, the scissors were easy to handle. All they did was get caught in my chest for a while. What hurt more was them taking them out and leaving me there to bleed out. I tried to call out to him, but I didn’t. He’d know something was up, or maybe he didn’t care. I’m just a thorn in his side anyway, right? A painful reminder, a monstrous entity. I didn’t want to be but I was. It took everything in me not to retreat again, to that mental hell(literal hell). Agonizing pain and fear flooded my senses till I couldn’t figure out where I ended and the pool of blood that was staining the abyss began. It was dark, dark and cold. It felt too familiar. I was like a rat scratching at the walls, I didn’t know where I was–I just wanted out. I could hear my internal residents (bugs, wretched little things, just like me) complain about the poor condition. I couldn’t even do something as simple as provide shelter for these damned things, let alone my real job. Make my primary a better person and then die. A cold lonely terrible death. For a moment I swore I could hear something whisper in my ear–“we could fix that problem”. It was so enticing. To live. To be seen as something more than an animal’s corpse. Despite how my body began to rot in record time, chunks of my hair falling out and bits of my skin getting peeled away as I(?) writhed in pain. I wanted to speed up the process of dying but I didn’t want it to hurt. So I would tear and peel and scratch and pull myself apart and cry my terrible rotten tears as I could do nothing but hate myself. If I even count as a “my” or a “self”. I couldn’t even feel bad. Everything happening here was my own doing. Once again the voice came back into my head, this time I was certain it was real. “We can fix you,” they said. And I wanted it so desperately to be true. The abyss wrapped around me, like a cocoon. For a moment I was where I belonged. Safe. Warm. Protected. For a moment the pain stopped and I–for just this one moment–felt human. But no matter how well you treat an animal, one day you’re going to eat it. The abyss tore me open, completely gutting me. Showing me how disgustingly human I already was. Blood and guts spilled onto the floor. Nothing that surprising. I knew I had some sort of organs. It still hurt. It still was disgusting to look at. I couldn’t even scream. They had taken away my throat and my voice along with it. I wasn’t sure how I still managed to cry. And when I thought it was over, when I thought there was nothing else they could possibly tear out and mangle with their harsh hands and words(which had been muttering something about how wretched of a creature I was, something I had proved time and time again to be true)–they took my heart. Carefully ripping it from its spot in my chest, placing it in itself. It needed a new one, and promptly thanked me for my cooperation. In return they’d keep me here, in this state, my chest gaping open with veins and small organs that got stuck just sitting there like decorations. Inside of the abyss, who was now alive, thanks to me. At least I helped something. I was a part of something, some one. I understand the bugs

now. So reliant on something else for life that’s not as reliant on you. Because of a want to be part of something bigger. The Abyss, in some sort of attempt to keep me contained–reached into my brain to find the perfect place to put me. Slowly I was entrapped in those same bland walls that I hated. My mental hell turned literal hell. It’s what I deserved, likely. If I never showed up this wouldn’t have happened. I shouldn’t have pushed it trying to fix things beyond repair. If they were ever broken. Its hands (or at least two of them), stayed in my brain–needing that too to increase efficiency. For the first time in a while I didn't think. I just laid there on the cold, cold ground and wept for the sorry being that I’ve become (have always been). At some point there was no difference between the Abyss the Grief and me. Grief took over for both of us, as we tore apart the person who put me(us) in this situation. And after that we rested. Satisfied with having ripped them apart the same way they did me(us). At some point I stopped feeling any more of the pain from my primary. I didn’t think much of it, until I opened my eyes, like some terrible nightmare, to find myself right where I was before this happened. On the floor of the (dead) Abyss, bleeding out with a gaping hole in my chest. The bugs were back (empathetic this time). I always thought they never were there, but maybe the literal hell that formed before brought them back. They rejoined me, making my skin crawl in disgust for how inconsiderate we both were being, but at least I(?) wasn’t alone. I’d make it out of this place, even if it killed me. I tried to stand, but I could barely feel my legs. No matter. I’ll slowly inch my way closer and closer to my (former) primary day by day, week by week, month by month if I had to. Maybe then I’ll finally prove the point that I truly don’t want to die. Maybe then I’ll feel human. Maybe then I’ll truly be a reminder to him, not just a pest. Maybe.

[saffron-gold-stardust]

Lucid Dreams and Ceasless Nightmares….

Coming up with some forms/designs for Dream and Nightmare because fun >:3

Still pretty early on and workshopping these bit by bit, but I’m enjoying the ride. Sharing these now since I’m gonna have to rest my arm this week, my RSI flared up again pretty badly. Blegh! Anyway I’m gonna ramble about my ideas under the cut, maybe share a few concepts.

Dream and Nightmare belong to Jokublog

But these designs are mine, hee hoo

So yeah, going with “Lucid Dream” for our dude on the left. Lol. It started out as a pun, but the definition actually ended up working so nicely with my ideas; suffused with light, luminous, transluscent… plus the pun. Yep. Had to use it lol. I’ve been having fun painting some crystalline stuff related to these boys’ SOULs, may be considering making Lucid Dream’s outfit liquid-like, as if it was a high shine satin silk, or super-organza. Ok, if you’re wondering wtf any of that means, look up the Armani Privé Coture line from Fall 2021. The fabrics there are INSANEEEEE.

Anyway, hopefully it’s easy to tell from the visuals that this is more akin to a swap!Dream (tho i really dont know much about them aaa) than a corrupted/shattered variant. I’m a big fan of angel wings and all, I’ll slap em on most any chance I get, but honestly if Nightmare is a semi-eldritch horror, then why not Dream as well? Lol

Lucid is main-universe Dream, in that post-Underverse idea i have stewing in my noggin. He ends up in posession of a few extra golden apples through accidental timeline bullshittery. His hand is forced by Nightmare, and to protect his friends and re-balance the multiverse, he consumes them and assumes this form. His body takes it pretty hard, skull splitting completely on the left side from an old wound, and beginning to crack on the right. Everything weeps a liquid gold ooze. His cape-ribbons tear/transform into two smaller tendrils, while a larger set of four burst from his soul out the back and destroy the sun patch. Ouch.

In the midst of this brutal fight with Nightmare, he’s fighting to control the overwhelming nature of his new power, as it fights to take him over. While he generally remains—ha—lucid, he has moments where his control slips away, and a primal, ancient desire to fill the universe with light overtakes him. Somethin’ like that. Still kinda vague on the details. Less happy-crazy or full on stoic-coldness, and more like incomprehensible god energy lol. A little chaotic. Mainly tho, he remains Dream, just desperately trying to save his home and his friends and maybe his brother, if he can hang on long enough.

Here’s some expressions, notably the goopy eyes and phasing in and out of madness. :Db

Noot’s design isn’t a power-up, moreso a redesign for funsies. I wanted to give him something intimidating and regal, play around with how everything is made of goop, and off of Dream’s design elements too. It’s pretty messy atm, still trying to balance things. Here’s a few sketches of that :>

Hey if u got to the bottom I love you, have a slice of cake. It’s apple cake lol

[harrytpotter]

What’s Happening To Me? — OneShot

Plot: James Potter was starting to feel more and more overprotective towards his friend Y/N and considerably annoyed at the blatant flirting she and one of his best friends were displaying publicly and at the thought she might be falling for Sirius. What was happening to him?

Pairing: James Potter x Fem!Reader.

Word Count: 5,9K.

A/N: I just had revised this long-ass story entirely and was pretty proud at the summary i came up with just for Tumblr to mess up with my post and erase its entire content, only leaving the title behind. Now i can’t remember the previous summary i wrote and am pissed about it. Anyways, I love writing for James and it shows. I won’t revise this again because i really am annoyed at tumblr so apologies in advance for any mistakes! :)

James tried to concentrate on Slughorn’s voice as the professor went on and on about whatever potion they were going to start working on during next week. He was really doing his best to absorb his words, but an extremely flirty pair beside him was making this task nearly impossible. He knew this was just for show since Sirius wanted to make Marlene jealous and Y/N kindly agreed to help him out, but all of this was still bothering him for some reason. Maybe it was because he knew Sirius way too well to know for sure he was enjoying this situation a little too much. Maybe it was because he cared about Y/N enough to bother if Sirius was going to end up hurting her somehow. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it.

“Merlin, would you two stop? It’s getting annoying,” he hissed at Y/N and Sirius, whom had been all giggly and touchy for the entire class.

“Does it bother you to see a happy couple in love, Prongs?” Sirius teased, barely suppressing a laugh.

“I’m just trying to pay attention to class,” he mumbled annoyed, his fists clenching slightly.

“Don’t be mean to him, Sirius!” Y/N bumped her fist on his arm. “He’s bitter because Lily is still turning him down despite his best efforts,” Y/N looked at James sympathetically as if saying she was sorry for him.

James sighed heavily at the mention of Lily’s name. Sure, it did annoy him that she was still rejecting his attempts of woo her, but, if he was being quite frank, it didn’t bother or frustrate him like it used to. If anything, it just... he didn’t even know anymore. Why he was still chasing her. Why he was still trying to get her to go out with him. It was seeming more and more pointless lately. He wasn’t sure if he was still pinning after her for a purpose or solely for the challenge.

“Earth to James!” Y/N waved her hand in front of James’ eyes. “You there?”

James tilted his head a little so his best friend’s face could enter his visual field. Her y/h/c hair was loose in a messy way that suited her perfectly, matching harmonically her hypnotic y/e/c eyes. She had a natural confidence that seemed to radiate from her body and wrap every single soul in the room. She was truly effortlessly magnetic. James started feeling flustered suddenly, unbeknownst to why.

“You alright there, mate?” Sirius asked with a brow lifted, staring at him.

“Never better, Pads!” James shot a cocky grin his way, brushing off the unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach.

James fell unusually quiet for the short rest of the class, his mind flickering between Y/N and Sirius and Lily. Everything just seemed so... out of place right now. He didn’t even notice Slughorn dismissing the class until Y/N tapped gently on his shoulder.

“Are you coming, Jamesy?” She asked, Sirius wrapping her against his chest. “Everyone else is already gone.”

“Sure...” James mumbled, still a little airy. His eyes wandered from Sirius’ tight grip around Y/N to her hand gently holding his wrist as her thumb caressed his skin lightly.

“Hurry up, Prongs! We can’t be late for lunch, I have a special surprise for my love here,” Sirius lifted Y/N’s chin gently whilst staring devilishly into her eyes.

James once again felt the same unsettling feeling he did before in the pit of his stomach when he noticed a subtle pink tone brushing through Y/N’s cheeks for a split second as she stared dumbfounded at Sirius.

“You two realize Marlene isn’t even here anymore to witness your annoying flirt, don’t you?” James asked his friends grumpily.

“Would you lighten up for Merlin’s sake, Prongs? Love is never annoying!” Sirius winked at him.

“Love might not be but you certainly are, darling,” Y/N retorted teasingly at Sirius, who took his free hand to his chest in mock offense.

“I usually grow on people, do you know that? Don’t you be so quick on biting the hand that feeds you,” he winged his brows at their amused female friend.

“You really are a complete prat, Sirius Black!” Y/N rolled her eyes with a large grin.

They were so invested on teasing each other that they had seemingly forget about James’ presence. The Gryffindor Quidditch captain spat an annoyed goodbye at his friends before storming off the classroom.

Y/N frowned and mentioned to follow James, but Sirius quickly grabbed her gently by the arm, stopping her from doing so.

“What are you doing? We have to go check on him! Haven’t you noticed how annoyed he left?” She lifted a brow at the grey-eyed boy.

“I did, indeed. But I also have noticed that he seems a little too annoyed at us lately, specially at me,” he narrowed his eyes thoughtfully.

“Your point? He’s probably still frustrated at his last unsuccessful attempt of wooing Lily,” Y/N sighed.

“Oh, love, believe me, this has nothing to do with Lily. I know Prongs way too well, better than he knows himself, if I may add.”

“Are you implying he’s in love with you?” Y/N exploded in a loud laugh. “Of course it has to do with Lily. It always has something to do with Lily.”

Sirius narrowed his eyes whilst a mischievous grin took over his face. Y/N did a pretty good job in hiding her annoyance when she mentioned Lily’s name, but Sirius could read his y/h/c friend like an open book. He noticed it.

“What now?” She frowned at him.

“Nothing, love. Nothing at all. Come, let’s sit by the Black Lake, shall we? It’s too much of a beautiful day to spend it locked indoors,” he winked knowingly at his friend whilst taking her by the hand, another plan taking form inside his mind.

——————————————————————

“Where are Padfoot and Y/N?” Remus asked no one in particular as he glanced around the Gryffindor table at lunch time.

“Haven’t seen them since Potions this morning,” Peter shrugged uninterested.

“They’re probably snogging somewhere,” James said bitterly, his eyes glued on his food.

Remus lifted a brow at James whilst Peter blinked his eyes in confusion.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Remus asked him with a furrowed expression.

“There’s nothing to read into it. I just meant what I said,” James shrugged, a grimace on his features as he looked at Remus and Peter.

“But Prongs...” Peter whispered as quietly as he could without being incomprehensible. “We know this between them is just for show.”

“Do we? Please, Wormy. You know Padfoot. We all do,” James said calmly. “It’s just a matter of time until they cross the line, assuming they haven’t already.”

“What if they have? It’s not like it’s any of our business,” Remus narrowed his eyes thoughtfully at the messy-haired boy.

“But it is!” James exclaimed exasperatedly. “Y/N is also our friend, why do I seem like I’m the only one who cares about her wellbeing?! Padfoot is smitten with Marlene, you know that Moony. Y/N is the one who’ll end up getting hurt amidst this craziness.”

“Y/N is a smart girl, Prongs. She’s not naive. I highly doubt she or Padfoot himself will do something as stupid as that,” Remus shrugged before taking a piece of turkey to his mouth.

James bit his tongue and returned his gaze to his nearly untouched plate. He really hoped both Y/N and Sirius were smart enough to prevent what could only be described as a catastrophe, at least in his eyes. Just the thought of his best female friend being hurt by Sirius’ reckless actions made him feel like punching something. Or, more accurately, someone.

A loud sound of giggles snapped James out of his thoughts and drove him to wander his eyes to the big doors that separated the Great from the Entrance Hall. Holding hands, Y/N and Sirius were all smiles as they entered the room and approached their table.

“You almost missed the meal,” Peter scolded them with a motherly tone.

“Worry not, my dear Wormtail! We already ate,” Sirius winked at him.

“How’s that possible? You’ve just arrived,” Remus lifted a brow at Sirius.

“We raided the kitchen,” Y/N shrugged as she took a seat next to Remus.

Sirius plunk down by Y/N’s side and wrapped her in his arms guilelessly, playing with a lock of her hair. Nothing different than his usual behavior — since he and Y/N were pretty close friends themselves — but enough to drive James off the edge.

“You alright there, mate?” Sirius asked him for the second time that day, looking even more amused then he did firstly.

James blinked at the sudden attention as his other three best friends stared at him inquisitively. He only then realized how tense his body was and the tight grip he had around his fork. His knuckles were white due to how much pressure he was putting into it. The Gryffindor boy relaxed with a couple of deep breaths before letting his fork rest by the side of his plate.

“Hey, Prongs!” Peter whispered excitedly, breaking the awkward silence that fell upon the usually-very-talkative Marauders. “Fourth person on your left... look who’s staring at you!”

James gladly allowed his focus to shift from Y/N and Sirius as he looked to where Peter had told him. He lifted his brows in surprise as he’s met by Lily’s eyes, a small and shy smile forming on her face as their eyes locked. James returned her smile, waiting for the butterflies to flutter his stomach as they always did whenever he used to have some kind of interaction with the redhead. But they didn’t come at all. Not this time.

“What the bloody hell is happening to me?” He thought to himself as he forced himself to hold Lily’s stare for what seemed like forever.

“Looks like someone is finally wooing the girl of their dreams,” Remus teased after James broke off the eye contact.

“It was about time! I don’t think I could stand another year of this pitiful chase, it was getting quite embarrassing mate,” Sirius joked, earning amused laughs from both Peter and Remus.

“Would you three stop already?” Y/N rolled her eyes. “I’m happy for you, Jamesy. Don’t mind them,” she reached for his hand across the table and gave it a light squeeze. A sweet smile on her lips.

James felt his stomach leaping like crazy inside of him at her touch. He furrowed his brows at the unknown feeling, his hand lingering on hers a while too longer.

——————————————————————

“You’re staring,” Remus pointed out without taking his eyes off his book.

“I’m not!” James denied quickly. “I’m just thinking about what to write on my essay.”

“Is your essay stamped on Y/N’s and Sirius’ faces?” The boy with chocolate eyes teased.

“Don’t you think they’re spending way too much time together?” James asked as he stared at Y/N and Sirius laughing together in a distant corner inside the Common Room. Y/N’s cheeks were flustered due to how hard Sirius was making her laugh.

“Meaning?” Remus’ attention was now solely on James as he studied his friend with a quirked eyebrow.

“Meaning they’ve got other friends outside each other, you know?!” James sounded a lot more harsh than he ever planned to.

The sound of Y/N’s laugh echoed in the room once more. She sounded like a 4-year-old laughing, it was absolutely adorable and completely contagious. James couldn’t help a small smile to spread across his face. He then caught himself wishing he could make her laugh like that. His face fell suddenly as he wondered why this thought would ever cross his mind.

“If it bothers you so much why don’t you just talk to her about it?” Remus shrugged, his focus back on his book.

James reflected on his friend’s advise for a short while until his vision got red again as Sirius trailed his fingers across Y/N’s back whilst whispering something into her ear. James closed his book with a loud bang, startling Remus and other few students who sat close to them.

“Where the bloody are you going?” Remus asked as his friend got on his feet and started gathering his things.

“Somewhere I can actually study,” James mumbled before moving in the direction of the portrait hole.

James wandered aimlessly through the castle, both his mind and heart racing and pounding with questions and emotions. Was he losing his mind? He didn’t know what was happening to him, why or how it started and neither how to make it stop. Y/N didn’t seem nearly as bothered at Sirius’ blatant advances, so he shouldn’t be either, right?!

As James’ feet stopped suddenly on their own, his surroundings came into focus once again and he caught himself staring back at him in a bathroom mirror. He rested his books on top of the nearest sink and took his glasses off, throwing a quick splash of water in his face and leaning over so he could rest his hands on the basin marble.

“What’s happening to me?” He mumbled to his own reflexion.

——————————————————————

“Gather around, kids!” Slughorn said proudly in front of a cauldron as the students started arriving for the Potions class.

Y/N, James, Sirius, Remus and Peter approached the Professor and peeked curiously into the cauldron content. A mother-of-pearl sheen liquid with a spiraling steam lied inside of it. Y/N shifted uncomfortably on her feet as she instantly recognized what the potion with such an unusual shine was.

“Oh...” Sirius whispered not so quietly into her ear with an annoying teasing tone, wrapping his arm on her shoulders.

“Oh Indeed, Mr. Black,” Slughorn grinned amusedly at the raven-haired boy. “Perhaps Miss Y/L/N could tell us what this potion is?”

“Amortentia, Sir. The most powerful love potion in the world. It causes a powerful infatuation or obsession from the drinker. It is distinctive for its mother-of-pearl sheen, and steam rises from the potion in spirals. It’s also known by its smelling properties. Amortentia smells different to each person, according to what — or should I say who — attracts them,” Y/N promptly answered the Professor’s question.

The room was dead silent as everyone stared at the cauldron with great interest after Y/N’s words. Especially the girls, whom all eyed the liquid furtively.

“Very good, Miss L/N! Ten points to Gryffindor!” Slughorn rumbled satisfied.

“That was hot,” Sirius joked, winking at Y/N.

James clenched his teeth as he stared at Sirius, feeling increasingly annoyed at the ever so blatant flirt and not hearing Slughorn asking for a volunteer to smell the potion in front of the entire class.

“Oh, Mr. Potter!” Slughorn exclaimed, dragging his attention back to the class. “Come here now, don’t be shy,” the teacher motioned for him to approach the cauldron.

Looking around, James realized the entire class stepped back and he was standing considerably afar from them. Gulping, the always-so-brave-and-carefree Gryffindor boy slowly started to walk to the cauldron, feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders.

“Just go already, mate! We all know you’re gonna smell something Lily-related anyway!” Sirius shouted from behind him, earning laughs from almost the entire student body present at the class.

“I highly doubt he will,” Lily said out of the blue, making James stop suddenly on his feet and turn around to face her.

“What was that, love?” He quirked an eyebrow at her with a devilish smile. There was nothing that turned him on more than a challenge.

“I said you wouldn’t smell me. My bet is on something Quidditch-related. But I’ll tell you what, if you do smell anything that actually has something to do with me, I’ll let you take me out on a date,” Lily crossed her arms against her chest defiantly.

That was it, the moment James had been waiting for ever since he first laid his eyes on Lily. The moment he thought would be the happiest of his life. The moment that would leave him feeling over the moon of joy. But nothing of this happened. Sure, it felt satisfactory to finally achieve a long-term goal and finally convincing Lily, but that was it. Just it.

“Go on, Potter! We don’t have all day!” Someone among the Slytherin students shouted, clearly excited to see the outcome of the proposal.

James then walked to Slughorn and stood in front of the cauldron, facing his fellow Gryffindors and the Slytherin crowd.

“Now, Mr. Potter, close your eyes and take a deep breath,” Slughorn instructed as he stepped aside and left James and the cauldron all alone in the spotlight. “And then let us know what you smelled!”

James did exactly as Professor Slughorn had told him to. At first, nothing happened, and then, suddenly, a powerful wave of the most endearing and hypnotic smell enveloped him and raided all of his senses. The smell was an intoxicating mixture of patchouli, sandalwood and cranberry. His eyes widened open as he instantly recognized where he had already smelled this. It was her smell. Y/N’s signature smell.

James’ eyes searched the little crowd furiously until they landed on Y/N. She was inspecting her nails, weirdly quite interested. He wanted to shout so she could look at him. He wanted to lock eyes with her and tell her what he had just smelled. He wanted to run at her and sweep her off her feet, spin her around and tell her what had been in his heart unbeknownst to him this whole time. He now knew what was happening to him.

“Mr. Potter?” Slughorn’s voice alerted James that he and the entire class were waiting for his answer.

James nodded at the Professor and allowed his eyes to land on Y/N once again before finally answering him. However, what he witnessed made his stomach sink. Y/N was whispering something into Sirius’ ear and his left hand was clutched on her waist.

“So that’s why she wouldn’t look at me,” he thought bitterly at himself.

James’ eyes wandered to Lily, a sudden frustration invading him. The redhead looked at him expectantly, unlike Y/N, who was too immersed on Sirius to notice the longing looks he had been sending her way lately. Sighing, James made a stupid decision in the heat of the moment.

“I smell vanilla and lilies,” he announced to Slughorn, knowing very well Lily smelled like that.

When he turned around to face the class again, Y/N and Sirius were nowhere to be found. Lily on the other hand, was standing right where she was, blinking with a dumbfounded expression.

——————————————————————

“Please, Sirius, don’t make me go in there,” Y/N begged Sirius as they approached the Three Broomsticks. She knew exactly what she was going to witness once they went into the establishment.

“Come on now, Y/N! Marlene is going to be there with Alice, please?” He gave her his best puppy eyes as he implored.

“How long will we have to keep up with this?” She asked, pointing back and forth between the two of them.

“Until she admits she has the hots for me,” he winked at his best friend, who simply rolled her eyes at him.

When they entered the pub, their eyes instantly fell on the table where a certain couple was having their first date. Sirius squeezed Y/N’s hand as he noticed her gaze lingering on James’ back.

“Let’s get this over with, shall we?” She mumbled, pulling Sirius by the hand to a distant table where Remus, Peter, Alice and Marlene sat chatting happily.

“Finally! Where the two of you were?” Remus exclaimed as Y/N and Sirius approached them.

“We were a little... busy, Moony,” Sirius winked suggestively at his friends. “Seems like I’m simply irresistible to my sunshine here.”

Marlene rolled her eyes at them, clearly beyond annoyed at Y/N’s and Sirius’ presence.

“Y/N, tell me, how can you possibly tolerate him, darling?” Remus teased as he noticed Marlene’s annoyance and Sirius’ proud grin.

“I usually keep my lips on his for as long as I can so he can’t speak. That’s the key,” Y/N shrugged, getting into character.

Remus, Peter, Alice and even Marlene laughed at Sirius’ shocked expression at Y/N’s comeback. She forced herself to laugh as well even though she was feeling everything but joy right now.

Stealing a glance in James’ direction, their eyes locked for a while before he drove his attention back to Lily and Y/N felt the sudden need of fresh air.

“I have to use the loo. Be right back,” Y/N mumbled at her friends whilst getting up.

The chit-chat ceased quickly as three of the Marauders and the two girls observed the y/h/c girl shy away from them.

“So, how’s our plan going, babe?” Marlene asked excitedly to Sirius as soon as they couldn’t see Y/N anymore, linking her arm in his.

Before Sirius could say anything, Remus cut him off asking with a much shocked tone of voice: “What plan are you two talking about? Didn’t Marlene despised you like you told us when you’ve asked Y/N for help to make her jealous? Why is she calling you babe? What is going on here?”

“Hold your wolves, would ya Moony? We’ll explain everything,” Sirius grinned. “I did tell Y/N that but Marlene and I had already been sneaking around unbeknownst to general knowledge.”

“Was that supposed to enlighten me?” Remus quirked a brow at him.

“Let me explain, for Merlin’s sake!” Marlene lifted a hand in front of Sirius as he opened his mouth to start talking. “We were snogging in an empty classroom under James’ invisibility cloak this one time when he and Y/N suddenly sneaked in as they ran away from Filch-“

-

“Oh, Sirius,” Marlene mumbled pleasantly at the raven-haired boy who was brushing his lips against her neck teasingly.

“Do you like that?” He asked softly.

“Ye-Yeah,” she muttered in response amidst a heavy sigh.

The couple was suddenly startled as the classroom door clicked open and was quickly closed again with an explosion of giggles. They quickly parted as they stared confusedly at Y/N and James, whom were out of breath and leant against the dark and old rock-wall, hands clutched together.

“Merlin, did you see Filch’s face?” James asked with a laugh.

“I honestly thought he’d spit fire,” Y/N answered with a snore, her face completely flustered from all the running.

James stared at his friend in a comfort silent for quite some time, as if he was engraving her every feature in his mind. “Godric, you’re beautiful.”

Sirius gasped at his friend’s words. Marlene’s mouth fell open.

It was only when Y/N’s eyes widened that James realized he had said that out loud.

“I-I mean, you’re quite alright for a girl and everything, mate,” he added quickly, making even more of a fool out of himself.

“Yeah... thanks, mate,” Y/N answered with a furrowed expression. She was clearly embarrassed as well. “We should probably get going before Filch comes back. Where did you leave your bloody cloak anyway?”

“I’m not sure, I couldn’t find it anywhere. Sirius must’ve borrowed it,” he shrugged, opening the door and checking the outside surroundings for any sign of Filch. “Let’s go!” He grabbed Y/N by the hand and led her out of the classroom, closing the door behind them.

“Did he just say what I heard?” Sirius checked with Marlene just to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating as he tossed the invisibility cloak on the floor.

“He actually did,” she answered, a little shocked herself. “Not that it was surprising in any way, I mean, it‘s quite obvious he has it bad for her, I just didn’t think he’d ever notice, he pinning after Lily and everything,” Marlene shrugged.

“I don’t think he reckoned his feelings just yet, James can be a bit of a thick-head sometimes.”

“A bit? And just sometimes? The lad has been chasing after the same girl - who wants nothing to do with him if I may add - for almost six whole years. He definitely is a big time thick-head,” Marlene quirked a brow at Sirius.

“You’re right...” he mumbled thoughtfully. “We have to do something, they’ve got too much pride to ever admit their feelings for each other.”

Marlene shot him a grin as the perfect idea crossed her mind, “have you told anyone about us?”

“Not yet.”

“Good, here’s what we’re going to do...” Marlene started to explain him how he’d tell everyone she didn’t want anything to do with him and then ask for Y/N’s help to make her jealous in front of all of his friends. She made sure to let him know he was supposed to flirt hard with Y/N when James was around.

-

“Did you really have to make the beginning so... graphic?” Alice asked with a grimace once Marlene had told them the entire story.

“Agreed!” Remus quirked his brows at the secret couple. “But I have to say, this idea was quite... clever.”

“It really was,” Peter nodded excitedly. “Padfoot definitely stroke a nerve by flirting with Y/N in front of Prongs.”

“And so did Lily by pretending she was finally interested in him,” Marlene smiled proudly at herself.

“Wait... what?” Sirius looked utterly shocked as he asked her.

“Yeah, sorry about that, but I thought it’d look more... realistic if you didn’t know that. You care about Y/N, you wouldn’t bare seeing her hurt without letting her know the truth,” Marlene shrugged at her boyfriend.

“Woman... you are the love of my life,” Sirius grinned devilishly at her, taking her hand in his and kissing her knuckles.

-

“That prick...” James mumbled at himself as he clenched his fists at the sight of Sirius flirting and touching Marlene. Didn’t he have no respect for Y/N? He literally just waited until she turned her back to be a complete prat.

“What?” A bored Lily asked.

James realized he had been staring at their friends table basically ever since Y/N and Sirius first showed up, leaving Lily hanging. But, truth be told, the date sucked even before that. He and Lily had zero chemistry, zero common ground, zero... everything. They definitely didn’t belong together.

“Look Evans...” he started after a heavy sigh, looking for the right words.

“This date sucks,” Lily completed as she shrugged in relief. “I know.”

“Well, I’d probably be way more gentle than that, but... that’s what I was trying to say,” he laughed.

“You didn’t smell vanilla and lilies when you inhaled Amortentia, did you?” She quirked a brow at him.

“No...” he furrowed apologetically. “I smelled patchouli, sandalwood and cranberry. As in-“

“Y/N’s artisanal perfume,” she cut him off with a smirk. “Why did you lie you idiot?”

“In my defense, I was gonna tell the truth but then... I saw her and Sirius flirting and, well, you know what I did,” he shrugged.

“Your stupidness never fails to amaze me, Potter,” Lily rolled her eyes at the hazel-eyed boy. “Sirius would never get himself involved with a girl his best mate fancied.”

“Please, he could never know I fancy Y/N,” he furrowed his brows in disbelief. “I’ve only realized it myself a couple days ago.”

“Potter, you oblivious daft, everyone knows you have it bad for her for ages and the other way around,” she rolled her eyes at him once again.

“Are you saying-“

“That the entire school already realized you both long for each other? Yes. Now, let’s go,” Lily stood up and motioned with her head for him to follow her.

“Where are we going?” He asked confused.

“You are going to tell Y/N what Amortentia really smelled like to you and I am going to watch it alongside all of our friends and tease the two of you later,” she said as if it was obvious whilst they crossed the pub.

-

“He admitted his feelings towards Y/N out loud,” Lily announced amused as they approached their friends, taking Y/N’s vacant seat.

“Bloody finally!” Sirius and Remus shouted in unison as they both lifted their glasses in mock celebration.

“I have to say I thought I’d have to kiss her in front of you so your blind self would finally realize your own damn feelings,” Sirius grinned amused at James.

“Please, this is Prongs we’re talking about! He’d probably punch you in the face and still not have a clue as to why he was so angry at the whole situation,” Remus teased with a smirk.

“Sod off, would you?” James flashed his middle finger at them, his eyes scanning the entire place. “Where’s Y/N?”

“She said she was going to use the loo, let me go look for her,” Alice answered James with an excited smile.

James stood there full of hope whilst Alice went looking for Y/N, his heart pounding against his chest and his hands sweating as he thought about finally telling her how he felt.

Alice reappeared again a few minutes later, but there was no sign of Y/N as she walked back to their table.

“She wasn’t there,” she told James, a furrowed expression on her face.

“Where the bloody hell can she possibly be?” Sirius asked with a confused look.

“The castle...” James mumbled at himself before taking off hurriedly.

Marlene stood up as quickly as she could and mentioned to run after James.

“What are you doing?” Sirius asked with a scrunched face.

“Well, I’m definitely not gonna miss the pathetic scene of him finally confessing his feelings to our Y/N, will you?” She quirked an eyebrow.

The little crowd exchanged looks among them before getting up recklessly and take off on James’ trail.

——————————————————————

“How do I do that? How do I tell her I have feelings for her after saying in front of the entire class I smelled lilies as I inhaled Amortentia?” James asked breathlessly as he stopped suddenly in front of the Fat Lady portrait, turning on his heels so he could face his friends.

“Preferable with your mouth, although I suppose you could use your hands as well, you know, to make it more... intimate,” Sirius suggested with a devilishly grin, winging his eyebrows.

“Merlin. I don’t even know what to say about... that,” Lily looked disgusted at Sirius, turning to James afterwards. “Just... do something meaningful for the both of you. Use something that the two of you have in common to make it special. I’m sure it’ll earn you extra points.”

“I’m with Evans on this one,” Remus shrugged. “Sorry, Padfoot.”

They kept throwing suggestions at him, but James wasn’t paying attention anymore. Lily’s words were hammering inside his head as he was thinking about what to do. And then, suddenly, as if it was magic, a brilliant idea popped inside his mind.

“Fat Lady, has Y/N came in already?” James asked the portrait that guarded the entrance to the Gryffindor tower.

“Yes, Potter, she came in a while ago in fact. She didn’t have the best of looks on her face if I may add, I’m assuming she went straight upstairs to her dormitory,” the portrait answered promptly, gladly giving away the juicy details in hopes to gossip a little bit.

“Perfect!” James grinned at the painting. “Thanks, love!” He shouted before running through the hallway.

“Should we follow him?” Peter asked Remus and Sirius.

“What if he comes back?” Sirius shrugged.

“I don’t think he will,” Lily smiled, realizing what he was about to do.

“Mind sharing the why?” Marlene quirked a brow at her.

“Think about it. What’s the one thing they both equally love fiercely?” Lily asked the little crowd with a grin. “Despite each other, of course.”

“Quidditch...” Remus answered slowly, realizing James’ intentions as well.

Before anyone could say anything, James came back and flew by them on his broom, a large grin on his face, “well? Are you lot coming or what?”

Taking off as fast as he could and with his friends on his trail, James flew around the hallways of the castle in the direction of the sloping lawns in the school grounds.

As James proceeded on his flying, he started to draw more and more curious students returning from the Hogsmeade trip, that way, by the time he had approached the exterior walls of the Gryffindor Tower, he had quite a crowd standing underneath him.

Touching the ground slightly, James gathered a few little pieces of rocks and hopped on his broom again, flying up until he reached the same level of the girls dorm’s window.

Before James could execute his plan, a loud shout from Minerva McGonagall startled him.

“James Potter, get off this broom immediately!”

Before James could answer and beg for her to let him do what he had come here to in the first place, the window cracked open. As his eyes shot in the direction of the sound, James spotted an utterly confused Y/N staring at him.

“James what the bloody hell are you doing?” She asked with a frown.

“Well, I was planning on throwing these rocks softly at your window until you opened them up, but I guess there’s no point in doing so now,” he shrugged, showing her the rocks he had clutched into his palm.

“And why would you do that?” She giggled at him, causing butterflies to flutter inside James’ stomach.

“Because I have something rather important to discuss with you, love,” he grinned.

“Why didn’t you just shout my name from the Common Room then, you mental?” She quirked her eyebrows.

“‘m afraid that wouldn’t be as nearly as romantic.”

“Romantic? What are you talking about?” She asked, a disrupted look on her face. “James, what’s going on here?”

“POTTER!” McGonagall shouted once again.

“Could you give a smitten boy a second to confess his feelings for Merlin’s sake, Minnie?” He shouted with a wink at the Professor.

“Well... I suppose I can,” she shrugged with a discreet side smirk. “And Potter?”

“Yes, Minnie?”

“Glad to see you finally build up the courage,” she smiled at the dumbfounded look the boy gave her.

Y/N was still staring at James in shock as he drove his attention back to her.

“So...” she said.

“I lied at the Potions class last week,” he said out of the blue, gliding trough the air.

“Meaning?”

“Meaning I didn’t smell lilies or vanilla when I inhaled Amortentia.”

“And what did you smell?” Y/N asked and James could notice she was holding her breath back.

“Home,” the messy-haired boy answered with a gentle smile, his hazel eyes lingering on Y/N’s. “And it smelled like patchouli, sandalwood and cranberries.”

Slowly realizing he was describing her scents, Y/N’s cheeks heated up furiously as she stared at the boy she has been fancying for so long, her eyes widened in shock.

“James is this one of your jokes? If it is, I swear to Godric-“

“No, love. I’d never joke about something like that. I’d never do something like that to you,” he smiled gently. “I’m in love with you, madly in love with you. I have been for years. I’m sorry it took me so long to realize that.”

“In that case, would you get off this broom already so I can kiss you?” Y/N said with a lovingly frown.

“Gladly!” James’ face lit up as he hurriedly closed the space between his broom and the window, hopping inside the girl’s dorm.

“You’re crazy, you know that?” Y/N shook her head with a smile.

“About you? Definitely!” James grabbed Y/N by her waist and crashed his lips into her, finally tasting what true happiness was like.

[therealvinelle]

Hi, I was reading a post here in Tumblr about how Edward has two gifts, he can hear thoughts and is super fast, so I wonder what is your opinion about this topic?.

Furthermore, what others power might the Volturi's leaders and guards might have?

Edward has one gift, and it’s telepathy. Being fast isn’t a gift.

Strength, speed and even senses is varied among vampires. Some, like Emmett, are on the extreme end, but that doesn’t make Emmett gifted, nor does it mean that the rest are at an equal level. The Cullens have clear variations between them.

Physique appears to play a dominant role in how these variations play out: Alice, who was malnourished and never made it past 4′10″, is the physically weakest of the coven, while Emmett at 6′5″ and a mountain of muscles is the strongest. This is made very clear during the baseball game:

“Emmett was hovering close to third (base), knowing that Alice didn’t have the muscle to outstrip Rosalie’s fielding." (Midnight Sun, chapter The Game)

There’s also the fact that it’s taken for granted that Emmett would be intimidating to other vampires, and he is dismayed when James is more worried about Jasper, who is lean.

I suspect this disparity exists simply because a large frame means more tissue to have blood in. Newborns, animal, and human-eating vampires all having a difference in terms of strength is proof that blood has the final say in a vampire’s prowess, so Emmett being able to contain more of it than Alice and therefore being stronger makes sense to me.

This isn’t the meta for me to get into that, but I don’t think vampires have muscles in the sense we do. Or rather, we can’t know that they do. Renesmée is proof that Edward retains his human DNA, or she would be a clone of Bella. Nahuel is proof that Joham retains a Y-chromosome. Does this mean that vampires have different cell types? Does a vampire’s stone-like skin still contain human DNA? One would think yes - except, if you rip a vampire apart, you get rubble. The parts are all solid. There’s also Carlisle theorizing that vampires digest blood by absorbing it through porous tissue, which makes me wonder why he dismissed his digestive system (my guess: vivisection fun times with Aro in Volterra. Carlisle couldn’t have done it on his own, and Aro is the only one mad and curious enough to be down for that). I’m getting off-topic - what I’m saying is, we don’t know how vampires work, meaning I can’t build this meta off of the assumption that they have muscles. I simply can’t know for sure that they do.

The important thing is that a vampire’s physique is a deciding factor in how strong they are.

There’s also Laurent’s warning about James, that he has “unparalleled senses”, meaning some vampires are better at sight, hearing, and smell than others. I can believe that, because we have canon examples of vampires being bad at tracking.

There’s Edward in Port Angeles, who couldn’t track Bella’s, his singer, scent to her location, and (I admit this one is conjecture but it’s so probable that I say it goes) Carlisle’s creator, who after taking care of the mob must have realized he’d bitten one of the humans, meaning a newborn would soon be loose in London. This is punishable by death by the Volturi. The fact that he didn’t return to finish Carlisle off means that he was unable to find him. I remind the audience that Carlisle was bleeding and suffering the effects by a venom intended to paralyze the victim. To put it this way, Carlisle wouldn’t have survived James, or anybody with a trace of tracking competence. By comparison, Carlisle was able to locate a dying Rosalie by the smell of her blood, even though there wouldn’t have been a trail for him to follow, as her body had not been moved.

When it comes to these disparities in strength and speed among the Volturi, I imagine Jane and Alec are the physically weakest members of the guard, and among the slowest. They’re prepubescent, meaning no muscle for them, and their height (a humble 4′8″ and 4′10″) implies very short legs. They’re simply not going to get as far as an adult would, not in the same number of steps. Renata at 5′0″ is another tiny vampire lady who likely isn’t very strong or fast.

That’s not to say I think these physically weaker members of the Volturi guard are necessarily useless in hand-to-hand combat, Alec at least is a boy stuck in a playful age, and the males around him are trained warriors. He’s probably picked up a few things over the years.

As for the others, Aro is described as frail-looking, which hints at him being quite thin. I don’t think he’s weak, if he couldn’t win a fight he wouldn’t be around, but I do think he’s probably below average in terms of strength. Caius I picture as a Harrison Ford type, so of course I’m gonna think he’s a bit burly, but this is me headcanoning and not actually hinted at in canon. Marcus is 19, so I imagine he can only be so strong.

Back to Edward’s speed.

He’s a 6′2″ teen, that’s code for “very long legs”, though I’m actually going to go ahead and posit that he’s not actually that fast. Strap in for this next part:

The guy was a teenager who lay dying for an undisclosed amount of time. The fact that Carlisle had the time to get to know his mother points to a few weeks, at least. And Edward was very ill:

Elizabeth worried obsessively over her son. She hurt her own chances of survival trying to nurse him from her sickbed. I expected that he would go first, he was so much worse off than she was. (New Moon, page 21)

Muscles atrophy quickly, never more so than when you’re a teen ravaged by fever, on your deathbed. And as I’ve explained above, I think your physique in life ties directly into your vampiric prowess.

I think Edward is certainly the physically weakest of the male Cullens, quite likely weaker than Rosalie as well, maybe even Esme.

Now, speed is not the same as strength. However, for humans, the two are connected. It’s the muscle fibers in our legs that determine our speed. Basically, type I fibers make an enduring runner, type II fibers make a speed runner. So, assuming that vampires retain their human musculature, one could argue that Edward had a lot of type II in life. However, Carlisle when he was human was able to outrun the mob he was with:

He ran through the streets, and Carlisle — he was twenty-three and very fast — was in the lead of the pursuit. (Twilight, page 158)

Carlisle clearly had a lot of type II fibers, and unlike Edward he was in peak physical condition when he died. He was also an adult who’d had more time to develop musculature, while Edward was a seventeen-year-old. If musculature was a deciding factor, one would think they would at the very least be of equal speed, though realistically Edward should be slower.

So, if it’s not muscles, what is it that makes Edward faster than the others?

It could be a matter of technique. Except, the way Bella describes movement when she wakes up as a vampire, it’s all very automated. Her body knows exactly how to do everything, and executes it without much input from her:

After that first frozen second of shock, my body responded to the unfamiliar touch in a way that shocked me even more.

Air hissed up my throat, spitting through my clenched teeth with a low, menacing sound like a swarm of bees. Before the sound was out, my muscles bunched and arched, twisting away from the unknown. I flipped off my back in a spin so fast it should have turned the room into an incomprehensible blur—but it did not. I saw every dust mote, every splinter in the wood-paneled walls, every loose thread in microscopic detail as my eyes whirled past them.

So by the time I found myself crouched against the wall defensively—about a sixteenth of a second later—I already understood what had startled me, and that I had overreacted. (Breaking Dawn, page 251-252)

Growling, crouching - those are all distinctly vampiric, non-human ways to act. Bella didn’t learn this, her body knew it of its own accord. When she later runs, she explains it as happening the same way - she just does it.

The way Bella experiences it, vampiric movement is like a package she downloaded, and that executes her instinctual commands with no need for her to actually know how to do any of this. Her grace is another example of this - Bella Swan may be in charge of her own consciousness, but the venom is entirely in control of her body.

Given these facts, I don’t think it’s technique that makes Edward a better runner than others. His technique is likely similar to everyone else’s. If it isn’t, if technique is what makes the difference, then who is and isn’t fast is an arbitrary process.

With that, we get to my controversial theory about why Edward is the fastest Cullen: he’s not.

Running and being fast is the only thing about vampirism that Edward enjoys. This is for another meta, but Edward is extremely depressed about every single other bit of it. Every aspect of being a vampire torments him.

Except the running. He enjoys all of it, especially being the fastest, so much. And as a newborn, he would have been faster than Carlisle.

But after that, when his newborn strength faded…

I honestly think that Carlisle decided to just slow down a bit when running with him, let Edward have this. It’s no skin of his back, and it makes Edward happy, so why not.

Esme joins the family, and of course she would be down for this. Nothing is more parental, more maternal, than losing at checkers to make your child happy, after all. Could also be she’s not very fast herself, but even if she were then she would downplay it to make Edward feel like Jesse Owens.

Enter Rosalie, who would think it’s completely ridiculous, yes, but she would also recognize this excellent opportunity to call in a big favor from Carlisle later on. There’s also the fact that I think Carlisle has a gift (yes, yes, meta is coming, people) that makes him very persuasive people. And also that for all that Rose gets a lot of bad rep, she is very generous and loves her family, if being fast makes Edward happy then alright.

Emmett is an easy-going guy, he goes along with things. Alice adores Edward and would go along with it. She also has tiny matchstick legs and couldn’t outrun him if she tried. Jasper could not care less.

Bella does get outrun by Edward after waking up, but she also did zero exercise in life (listing this in case musculature matter), had Renesmée devour her from within rendering her emaciated, and then died like a slasher movie murder victim. There’s not a lot of blood in her, and what little blood there is doesn’t have a lot to work with. She does defeat Emmett at arm wrestling, so I’ll concede that. However, there are enough extenuating circumstances surrounding Bella that I think my “Edward isn’t that fast” theory survives his ability to outrun her.

So, I believe Edward is the fast Cullen because Carlisle told a white lie in 1919, no one ever corrected that, and now it’s too late.

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

calculated iii, m | jjk

pairing(s): jungkook x reader

summary: You wanted to say that you were able to control yourself around him and not to have wild sex at school. But this is Jeon Jungkook we’re talking about. And what Jungkook wants, Jungkook gets. You wore that pencil skirt for a reason, after all.

warnings: rated M (18+) for language; intense smut (fem reader, semi-public sex, dirty talk, nipple play, choking, m-receiving oral, gagging, pussy spanking, fingering, penetrative sex); fluff; non-idol!AU - university!AU; dom!Jungkook x sub!noona!reader, ft Jimin once again, lol

–

part i | part ii | part iii | part iv

-

Career Week was somewhat of a nightmare.

So much running around, prepping tables, setting up presentations, helping the guests with their computers before their seminars, and you had to be dressed professionally too. Not just ‘nice’ clothes, but white dress shirt, slim black tie, tailored black vest, and matching fitted black slacks. It had to be monotone, it had to be hyper professional, and you had to wear heels.

Why had you agreed to this again?

Oh, yes, Kim Namjoon on his knees begging for help because he was overworked and they needed volunteers. And you, being far too responsible, accepted.

Not only were you also overworked, but Jeon Jungkook was staring at you across the auditorium.

In all-black – leather jacket, high-necked shirt, slim-fit jeans. Sharp jawline, tanned high cheekbones, piercing dark brown eyes, his black hair pushed back with a few strands on his forehead, revealing his clean undercut.

And he was smirking at you.

You highly doubted he was here to investigate prospective career paths. Actually, you were a hundred-and-ten percent positive that that was not the reason he was here and the soreness between your inner thighs proved it. You were willing to bet Park Jimin’s right nutsack.

Yeah, sorry Jimin, but you needed all your body parts.

For one reason, really, and that reason was staring you right now.

Who was going to hire him when he was dressed like that anyway? You certainly wouldn’t. Mostly because it was distracting. No one could work with Jeon Jungkook looking like that. You couldn’t, anyway. Well, maybe if his work was wrecking your–

Get back to your damn task, you scolded yourself.

You were setting up chairs for the cardiologist that was arriving soon. All the doctors always had tons of students listening, so the administration instructed you to pack as many seats that could be crammed into the space without causing a fire hazard. You unfolded the metal chairs, arranging them neatly, already knowing they would be an incomprehensible mess when the students left and that you would be the one cleaning up after them.

Sigh.

Come to think of it, it was all Park Jimin’s fault that you were being violently undressed by Jungkook’s eyes right now. If he had kept his trap shut and let you live in blissful ignorance, maybe you wouldn’t be trying to hide your wincing every time you bent over. You snuck a glance at Jungkook.

He cocked an eyebrow, highly amused.

Never mind, you probably still would have been accosted at Calculus I office hours, except instead of the door being closed and locked and having Jimin’s warning texts, you two probably would have been caught and expelled.

You grumbled and slid a chair into place, taking back your former thoughts and thanking Jimin in your mind. He wasn’t even here to witness your inner struggle.

Jimin probably would have found it funny.

You went back to your chairs, not addressing Jeon Jungkook’s presence anymore because if you looked at him again, you probably would have abandoned your post. And he knew it.

-

The next day, you already knew Jungkook would show up again. Mostly because he texted you a winking face of a semicolon and parenthesis, to which you didn’t respond, because you would probably get roped into phone sex in under twenty seconds, and you had to help this extremely riveting lawyer set up his laptop for the projector.

As in, you were ready to tape his mouth shut as he blabbed on and on about his work and how important it was to society, which it was, because defense attorneys were very important, but this guy’s laptop was a fucking hot mess of icons all over his desktop. This was a personal pet peeve of yours, as you liked to be neat and organized, with everything clearly labeled with dates. You didn’t care about most people’s personal habits, but it was annoying when you were trying to assist and the owner of said laptop was not shutting up and demanding noises of affirmation that you were listening.

If it wasn’t Jungkook demanding you to swallow his cock, you honestly couldn’t give a single shit–

You finally got his PowerPoint working and had him scroll through the slides to make sure it was the correct one. He thanked you and you realized the older man was looking at you up and down, the same way Jungkook usually did, except in this case you were not even remotely interested.

Guess everyone had the right to get a good look before they die.

You were wearing a white chiffon blouse with a black silk neck scarf, with a tight knee-length black pencil skirt, sheer tights and sleek black heels. You knew how good your ass looked in this skirt and you had worn it for a specific purpose.

“We will be letting the students in five minutes early to get settled,” you stated briskly, cutting the older man from his daydreams. “You will have forty-five minutes for your presentation, and then we’ll have a fifteen-minute question session, led by my associate, Kim Namjoon here.”

As if on cue, Namjoon appeared, cheerful smile with cute dimples, handing the lawyer a mic.

“Let’s test the microphone and the backup to make sure you don’t have any hiccups,” Namjoon instructed merrily, instantly captivating the man’s attention and diverting it from you.

You mouthed a ‘thank you’ behind the man’s back and Namjoon gave you the tiniest of nods as you excused yourself. Hmph. You knew people would notice – you were wearing makeup for once and would be around students and professionals all day, after all – but to be so shameless and gawk like that was annoying. Plus, the guy probably had a wife and kids.

You made your way to the bathroom to check your appearance. Maybe your makeup was a bit off or something. You had Jimin check you over this morning. Surprisingly, he knew a lot about cosmetics and how to look good in all lighting. Must be a dance major thing.

Ah, the door to the women’s bathroom. You hiked your skirt up a bit do you could use your damn knees to walk, because they had been suffocating for the past two hours–

Long fingers suddenly gripped your upper arm and yanked you around the corner, slamming you into a muscular body and black biker jacket. You nearly stumbled in your heels, but a second hand came to practically lift you off the floor and shove you into the wall.

“Good afternoon, noona.”

A clear, silvery voice.

You couldn’t possibly guess who it was.

“Why, fancy seeing you here, Jung–”

You were abruptly cut off by his lips crashing into yours, one hand grabbing the back of your head and disturbing your perfect bun. You whimpered, feeling him shove you into the wall again, your shoulder blades hitting the painted brick. His tongue slid into your mouth, exhaling into your throat and forcing you swallow his breath. Your hands clutched your skirt, moaning as his hard body pressed yours against the wall.

Jungkook drew back, panting a little. Looking so handsome with his slightly slicked-back hair, black strands around his right eye, chiseled jawline, silver hoops glinting in the hall light. He arched a sculpted eyebrow at you, smirking. His pink lips had a little red on them from kissing you.

“Now, you know you can’t be looking so delicious and not expect me to want to eat you up,” he purred, licking your lips. Your breathing hitched at the touch, unlocking your death grip on your skirt.

“What are you talking about?” you answered evenly despite your panties literally turning into Niagara Falls with the way he was looking at you like a carnivore at an all-meat buffet. “I have to dress like this for Career Week. Everyone has to dress professionally.”

Jungkook nodded, not believing a single word coming out of your mouth. His right hand came up, ink black tattoos against tan skin, and reached around to your bun, slowly pulling the hairpins out. Your skin tingled at the sensation of your hair gradually unravelling.

“A professional that I would hire to sit on my dick,” he mused.

You raised an eyebrow at him, your hair tumbling around your shoulders. “Subtle.”

Jungkook showed you the removed hairpins, opened his jacket, and tucked them in his inner pocket.

“I wouldn’t work for you anyway,” you added haughtily.

With each passing moment, Jungkook was becoming increasingly amused and aroused. You could tell by the way he was shoving his crotch into your thigh and by how wide his smirk was getting. The slacks he was wearing did nothing to hide his erection and you had a sneaking suspicion that he didn’t care.

“Oh? Why not?”

“I don’t know if I could trust someone younger than me to do a good job.”

He was unbuttoning your chiffon blouse now, humming. “I’m good at many things.” His dark eyes flickered to yours. “I think you would know.”

Your hands grabbed his despite him already having all the visible buttons completely open. Cold air drifted onto your heaving chest and white lace bra.

“Jungkook, we’re in a public place, again,” you hissed, narrowing your eyes at him.

“I don’t recall that being a problem,” he drawled, removing his hands from yours and squeezing your ass. “I’m beginning to think you like it.”

You sucked in a breath as his strong hands kneaded you through your skirt. Your hormones would absolutely let Jungkook rip off your clothes right here and let him fuck you, but the sliver of your brain that had any sense at all reminded you that you had to find a closed space. Jungkook slapped your ass, loudly, the sound echoing across the empty hallway. You nearly moaned, but bit your tongue, glaring at him.

“I have to get back,” you snapped. “And look presentable.”

Jungkook licked his teeth. “Hm. You have an hour before you have to appear to the public eye.”

Who the heck told him that? He smirked slyly at you as he saw your reaction.

“I could drag you to the bathroom–”

“At least give me more class than the woman’s bathroom,” you interrupted.

Jungkook looked annoyed that you had cut him off and also looked like he was going to remind you later. His fingers dug into your hips sharply and you gasped, back pressed flat against the wall. He inhaled a deep breath and began again, voice dangerously low.

“As I was saying,” he continued. “I’m going to take you into this classroom that I stole the key for.”

You frowned as Jungkook hoisted you up swiftly, princess-style, shirt still wide open. Fuck, what was he so strong for? He carried you down the hallway to the classrooms. You tried to close your shirt, but he growled at you, so you rolled your eyes and pushed the sides open, letting your bra-covered tits hang out. He seemed satisfied about this.

“Why would you steal a key?” you muttered as he deftly kicked the door open.

Jungkook slid through the door sideways. “So I could fuck you, of course.”

He dropped you and you had to catch yourself on your heels before you broke an ankle and ate shit. Half the lights turned on. You could hear him locking the door as you smoothed your skirt.

You turned to face him, saying, “You shouldn’t be a thief just because you’re horny, Jungkook.”

Jungkook turned around slowly from the now locked door. You were about to say something else, but your words died in your throat as you witnessed the overwhelming lust in his dark piercing eyes.

“I would be a thief, a murderer, and evade taxes for your body,” he snarled, advancing on you.

You pulled your blouse out of your skirt so he wouldn’t rip it, backing up into the desks. “You’ll get caught with the last one,” you said quietly, already removing your blouse and letting it fall onto a spare seat. “First two are acceptable.”

Jungkook grinned devilishly, licking his pink lips.

“Come here.”

You chewed on your lower lip, staring at his beautiful eyes, finding yourself already walking to him, heels clicking loudly in the empty room, but it didn’t matter, because he was the master now and you were the willing servant. Or slave. 

Take your pick.

He smirked at your obedience, placing his hands on your shoulders, stopping you. His dark orbs lingered down your body, focusing on all his favorite spots, pressing his fingertips into your skin.

“One day,” you said quietly. “We’re going to get in trouble.”

Jungkook’s powerful dark orbs shifted upwards, capturing yours. Time slowed down. You stared into his dark brown eyes, unable to look away, your heart beating in time with his words.

“You’re already in trouble.”

Voice haunting you, teasing smirk on his lips, and perfectly in command.

“From the second you let me have my hands on you.”

You gasped as his nails dug into your skin, scratching down your collarbones, leaving red marks. He snapped the straps of your bra, hard, and you whined, eyes pleading for him to take it off. His palms pressed into the lace cups, squeezing them roughly. Tongue dancing in between his lips as he felt your nipples harden, barely covered by the lace.

“You’re so dirty, noona,” he purred, lowering his palms and pinching your nipples through the thin fabric, smirking at your wanton moan. “Wearing such slutty underwear under these professional clothes.”

You whimpered as he tugged on them. “No one’s going to see them but you, Jungkook.”

He clamped your nipples between his thumbs and knuckles, dragging you to him. You sank your teeth into your lower lip, pussy throbbing as you collided with his firm chest. His breath was scorching hot against your skin, making you shiver.

“What if someone finds out? Some idiot like a perverted old man staring at your ass in this skirt?”

You snorted. “I’ll rip his head off.”

Jungkook snickered, flicking your nipples with your answer. “You wouldn’t let me do it for you?”

Your hips rolled into his, hands on his waist to keep yourself up as he played with you. “I’ll reattach it for you so you can do the same.”

He laughed, almost a little too jovially for the part he was playing, but then he was back, tipping his head close to yours, blowing soft air onto your lips. You frowned, glaring at him for the lack of kiss.

“If possible, you’re even hotter dressed like this,” Jungkook murmured, his forehead against yours. “So prim and proper, even with a cute gag tied around your neck,” he added, playing with the ends of your neck scarf. “You could be a CEO, and I could be the janitor fucking you on your penthouse-floor desk.” He was undoing your scarf now, teasing it apart, making you breathless. “Maybe fuck you against the window so everyone can see how good I make you feel, noona.”

“Give yourself a little more credit than a janitor,” you muttered, stiffening as Jungkook ran his fingertips over your throat, nails grazing your skin.

“True, I would rather be your secretary so I can follow you around and stare at your ass in this skirt,” he chuckled, lacing his fingers around your neck. Thumb under your ear, the other four fingers under your other ear. You made eye contact with him. He looked almost bored, one of his eyebrows raised, but he was watching you, predatory and attentive.

“I know what I’m doing.”

His whisper was so soft that you barely heard it, but the words were there.

His grip tightened around your throat.

You gasped, feeling the blood flow thinning, hazing your mind. Jungkook watched your expression, reaching around with the hand that was holding your scarf, unclasping your lace bra. You could feel it fall down your arms, but your thoughts were rapidly being clouded by lightheadedness and lust, Jungkook smirking at you as he lifted the silk scarf into your vision.

“J… Jungkook…” you choked out.

The mole underneath his lower lip winked at you as he grinned, brushing the silk against your hard, abused nipples, touch so light, and yet it made your whine, wanting more stimulation but unable to ask because you knew he was toying with you.

“What’s wrong?” Jungkook taunted. “Not intense enough for my naughty noona?”

He choked you harder and you couldn’t respond, eyes rolling back into your head as black spots danced in your vision, the sensation intensifying but still not enough, not enough, and you shoved your hips into his repeatedly, whimpering, hands clutching his black shirt, nails digging into his abs.

“So needy for me,” he breathed, feathery touches of silk against your nipples. “Are you only mine?”

He leaned forward, loosening his grip a little. The blood violently rushed back into your head and all you could hear Jungkook’s cruel whisper of your name, tearing a moan from your lips, a raspy yes, yes, fuck, Jungkook, I’m only yours.

He chuckled darkly.

Then he forced you to your knees, tits bouncing uncomfortably as you slid on your heels, knees hitting the tile floor. You clutched his clothed legs, panting, brain only half-functioning due to the lack of blood and the relentless teasing. You lifted your head back up to look at him, panting hard.

Jungkook cracked his neck sharply, a harsh pop. “I want to believe you, noona, but you’re dressed so fucking sexy that I can’t.” His dark eyes bore into you, tearing you up, and you were dripping onto your inner thighs. He emphasized his words with a raise of his eyebrow.

“Letting other people fantasize about this body that belongs to me isn’t acceptable.”

His hands reached down, fingers of his right hand playing with the button of his pants, tattoos dancing with his movement. He smirked as you watched him, eyes darting from his face to his hands. Shit, you were nearly drooling with anticipation. You swallowed as he teased the button free.

“You gonna show me that you remember who you belong to?”

You nodded quickly, maybe too quickly, but it was doomed now anyway because Jungkook was lowering the zipper, pushing down his pants and underwear, past his muscular thighs. It was obvious this was getting him off as much as it was getting you off, because he was rock-hard, leaking, tip already a dark red. Jungkook grabbed the back of your head and shoved his hips into your cheek, smearing his pre-cum onto your skin, all the way up to your cheekbone. He hissed, using his hand to press the head against your temple, nearly into your hair.

Fuck, he was so fucking close to your mouth, but he wasn’t letting you have it.

Damnnit.

Your tongue snaked out and softly licked his balls, eyes on his face, watching him tip his head back and moan. You licked more, creeping your head closer, pressing your lips against his hot skin. He was letting you do it, holding his cock out of the way as you wrapped your lips around his balls and sucked, pushing them around with your tongue, pleading noises in your throat, begging him for his cock as you bobbed your head up and down under his hips.

Jungkook’s dark eyes shifted down to you, triumphant grin on his lips.

“You want to swallow my cock, noona?” he teased, smacking it against your face, leaving a string of pre-cum connecting your cheek to his cock. You narrowed your eyes at him, as if to say, no fucking shit, you punk ass bitch, and he chuckled deep in his chest. He looked past your head, down your back.

“Such a nice ass.”

You smacked his leg, aware that he was doing it on purpose to piss you off. He smirked knowingly, placing his palm on your forehead and pushing you off his balls.

“Swallow it all and don’t choke,” Jungkook snarled, shoving his cock into your open mouth.

Your eyes widened at the sudden intrusion, relaxing your throat muscles as Jungkook forcefully pushed into your lips, sighing with satisfaction as he buried himself to the hilt, his strong fingers tangled in your hair.

“Fuck, so good,” he moaned, making his cock throb into the roof of your mouth. You whined, hands on his hips, waiting for him to let you move. “Your throat feels so fucking good, noona. If only they knew how good you are, how perfectly slutty you are for me.” He snickered, releasing his hand, glaring down into your eyes.

“But they’re never going to know, because you’ll never service another cock ever again.”

You whimpered, nails digging into his thighs.

He ticked his chin at you. “Go on, noona. Show me how much you love my cock.”

You began to move, pressing your tongue against the bottom as you slid up and down his length, moaning at his taste. So good. You generated more saliva and ran it all over the head, sucking hard. He inhaled sharply as you teased the sensitive underside, tongue against the opening.

“That’s it,” Jungkook breathed. “Give it to me like you mean it.”

You gripped his thighs and began to bob your head back and forth, ramming the head into the back of your throat and squeezing it before arching your neck so it ran across the roof of your mouth and then back down so it hit your throat again. Was this going to make you hoarse? Probably, but you didn’t a single shit, because Jungkook moaning for you and telling you how good you were was much more important. The pace was slow at first, but you went faster and faster, tighter, your breasts bouncing with every movement, eyes closed to savor his taste and steel your concentration of not gagging because Jungkook was so big, so thick, so perfectly rough, and your tongue could feel him throbbing inside your mouth.

“Fuck,” he growled above you, nearly feral with desire. “Fuck, I’m going to cum down that perfect throat of yours, noona.”

His thighs tensed under your hands and you knew he was close. You increased the intensity, neck straining, already aching with how fast you were going.

“Drink it all and don’t fucking waste it.”

Jungkook grabbed you by your hair and thrusted his hips into your face, moaning lustfully as he shot into your mouth, hot creamy strings into your throat. You swallowed fast to avoid choking, gulping loudly as he gave you more, more, fuck it was so delicious that you gasped, swirling your tongue around his jerking cock and lapping it all up. Whimpering, you wrapped your lips around the head and milked it dry, rubbing your lips against the skin where the head and length connected.

“You’re so fucking good,” Jungkook sighed, running his fingers through your hair, pulling it away from your face. “So messy and dirty. I love it, noona.” He pressed your mouth down his entire length and held you there.

Your name drifted out of his lips, a sweet exhale.

He kept you there. You felt some of your spit drip down your chin and hit your breasts. You flinched at the coldness, still holding onto his hips. Jungkook finally looked down at you, chest heaving, panting. He looked like he wanted to say something. You shot him a questioning look, unable to respond, mouth still full of his cock.

He released your head, untangling his fingers from your hair. You drew your mouth back, rubbing your jaw and throat a little. Jungkook had a strange expression, lips parted, brows furrowed, the muscles in his neck tensed. He seemed a bit spaced out. You tilted your head.

Something felt off.

You stood up with as much grace as you could, knees aching, heels snapping to the tile floor. He still wasn’t looking at you. You backed up, to the desks, finding a study one.

“Jungkook.”

You smacked the wood loudly with your flat palm.

He whipped his head towards you, dark eyes flashing. Perfect. You smirked, placing your hands on your pencil skirt. Sank your fingers in, gripping the fabric. Jungkook’s voracious eyes watched your movement, each hike revealing more and more of your legs. A slow smirk formed on his lips. You yanked your skirt all the way up to your waist, revealing your white lace panties and sheer pantyhose, black fabric bunched around your waist.

Jungkook reached down and pulled his pants up, raising his eyebrows as he walked over, lower lip in between his teeth as he grinned at you.

“That’s a dangerous position to be in, noona,” he purred. “You know I love fucking you on a desk.”

You bounced your ass up onto the table, closing your legs, knees together. Placed your hands on your lap, pushing your tits together. Jungkook licked his lips, the predatory glint back in his eye. You kept your tone stern, with a hint if disapproval.

“Really? Because for a second there, I was beginning to think you lost your nerve.”

The menace in his eyes made your shiver with anticipation. You could tell Jungkook liked it too, your word selection, your tone, your defiance. He shrugged out of his leather jacket, and it fell to the floor with an oppressive thump. You sucked in a tight breath. The shirt was short sleeved, exposing his tattooed right forearm and his equally beautiful tanned left one. Some of his long black hair was falling down, brushing against his right cheekbone.

His eyes were so dark that you felt like they were devouring you.

Jungkook placed his large hands on your knees and vehemently shoved them apart, spreading your legs wide. He gave you a cold, expressionless stare as he placed a hand on your stomach, putting you onto your elbows, hips tipped up towards him. You were embarrassingly wet, juices soaked into your inner thighs, lace panties already molded to your soaked folds, the sheer pantyhose doing nothing to protect you from him and his hungry eyes. His voice was icy, making your pussy throb with need.

“Noona, if you close your legs, I’m going to punish you,” Jungkook warned.

Part of you wanted to know what the punishment was, but the other part of you really wanted to orgasm, so kept your snide remark to yourself and simply nodded.

Jungkook removed his hands from your knees and placed them on your shuddering breasts. Fuck. You hadn’t realized you were so horny until Jungkook touched you. A pained whimper strained in your throat.

The side of his lips curved upwards.

“Does my dirty, slutty noona want to be fucked?” His nails sank down, digging into your skin. “Do you want to be used by me, your tight little pussy stretched out and pleading for more?” Jungkook leaned forward, breathing into your face, growling whisper against your lips. He pinched your nipples and you moaned, wanting to kiss him, but knowing he wasn’t going to let you. He chuckled darkly, seeing your desperation.

“Do you want to be a slave for Jungkookie’s cock, noona?”

Fuuuuuuuck.

Your heart was beating so fast that your breathing was coming out in little gasps as he twisted your nipples harshly, rubbing the tips with his thumb. Your legs shook, threatening to close because the lack of friction was killing you.

“Y-yes, Jungkook, fuck yes.”

He yanked on your nipples and slapped them, making you hiss with pain, flinching as the sting shot up your chest. Jungkook reached into his back pocket and produced the silk neck scarf.

“Keep quiet for me noona or everyone will know how much of a slut you are for me.”

And then he shoved your own scarf into your parted lips, gagging you. Not a second too soon, because, without warning, Jungkook immediately spanked your barely clothed clit. You yelped around the silk, thighs quivering. He gripped one of your thighs, digging his nails into it, tearing the sheer pantyhose a little.

“Don’t move and take it,” he snarled.

Your back arched as Jungkook began to slap your pussy, hard, unforgiving, loud, and making you wetter and wetter, so much so his hand was slipping a little with each smack. You screamed around the scarf, hips trembling as they rose to meet each hit, flaring pain in between your thighs but so, so good. He clenched his jaw, dark eyes on your quickly reddening pussy lips that were sucking your panties deeper and deeper into your slit.

“Fuck,” he growled. “Fuck, you’re so hot and so fucking perfect for me.”

He removed his hand from your thigh and ripped the center seam of your pantyhose apart.

You started, eyes widening as you watched him tear through it, yelling at him through the scarf. You still needed to wear those! The small tears were one thing, but a full-on giant rip at the crotch was not going to be comfortable to wear for the rest of the day.

Jungkook smirked, raising a hand to his ear. “What’s that? Can’t hear you.”

You glared at him and was about to remove the scarf from your mouth to scold him, but his smirk turned into a roguish grin.

“Hm? Slap you harder and abuse your clit?”

You paled.

“My pleasure.”

You threw you head back as Jungkook mercilessly spanked your now only lace-covered clit, impossibly fast, towering over you and hooking his arm under your back, dragging you to him, arching your spine more, more, so your tits were straight up, bouncing right in his face as he changed from smacking your clit to rubbing it just as fast, rougher, so intense you were hoarsely wailing into the gag.

All of a sudden, your orgasm violently rammed into you, pleasure racking your entire body, amplified by stinging pain. Your pussy clenched around nothing, wetly squelching as Jungkook breathed hotly down on your nipples, still rubbing you through your orgasm, not letting up. You shook your head furiously, trying to tell him it was too much, that you were too sensitive, but you didn’t lift your hands to stop him, only spreading your fingers against the table, palms flat as your hips raised to his fingers.

You felt his hair brush against your nipples as he licked your cleavage, smirking up at your face.

“One more and then I’ll fuck you the way I want to, noona.”

Your legs were losing feeling from how hard you were locking them in place as you felt Jungkook pry your lace panties out of your pussy, shoving them to one side. Oh shit. You moaned as you felt him shove two fingers into you, eyes squeezing shut as he added a third, scissoring them as he smiled cruelly at you, eagerly watching your reaction.

“Such a greedy pussy, sucking in my fingers like this,” Jungkook drawled, your walls clenching around them, feeling every callus and every joint, all the way to his knuckles. “All mine, my beautiful, slutty noona.”

You would have asked Jungkook what the time was if your brain could still function, but your brain timed itself out, because Jungkook was thrusting his fingers into you now, filling you up, and feeding your need and desperation, assaulting your pussy with pleasure. The pain of your stinging, puffy lips rubbing against his hand added to the ecstasy, heightening it, your moaning now unintelligible behind the silk scarf that was saturated with your saliva. The sound was obscene, sloppy smacking sounds of your drenched hole getting pounded into the desk.

You threw your head back and choked out his name around the makeshift gag, throbbing pussy clamping down on his fingers. Thick, viscous liquid gushed out onto his palm, the back of his hand, dripping down to his wrist. It was so intense that your entire body jerked up into Jungkook’s face, hitting him with your tits.

If Jungkook was mad about it, he didn’t show it. He wrenched his slick fingers out and you whined, watching him with glazed eyes as licked them off, ferally growling at your taste. He released your back from his arm and you slid down, laying against the desk, panting.

“You taste extra delicious today, noona,” he chuckled. “Candy always tastes better in cute packaging.”

You barely had time to register that Jungkook had just compared you to a fucking convenience store snack before he yanked down his pants again, whipping out a foil packet and ripping it open. Less than a second and the condom was on, and then Jungkook shoved his cock into you, a startled gasp dying in your very over-used throat.

Jungkook moaned your name above you, softly and lustfully, pulling your hips closer to him so he was all the way inside you. You clenched around his length and he sighed, small smirk on his pink lips, eyelids fluttering.

“You’re going to kill me one day with how perfectly tight you are for me,” he mumbled.

Your eyes found his and he grinned, looking down at you through his lashes, his hair obscuring half his face.

Fuck, you could stare at him all day.

Jungkook placed your legs around his waist, finally letting them rest from the forced spreading. He roughly jerked his hips into yours and you whimpered, nails clawing into the desk. His fingers dug into your hips and he set his jaw, beginning a hard, fast pace, slapping your hips together, fucking you into the desk. It scraped noisily into the floor, but neither of you cared, you abused pussy lips rubbing against his crotch every time his hips met yours, carried to new heights of pain and pleasure, loving every second, every moment of Jungkook using you to chase his own orgasm, his cock swelling and dragging against your tight walls. So much. So full.

You could never be satisfied with another cock.

“Fuck.”

Jungkook hissed, grip on your hips tightening, bruising you with his fingertips.

“Fuck, noona, I love you.”

Your heart stopped.

And then your orgasm crashed down, overtaking you completely, your head smacking the desk and seeing stars, clenching around Jungkook’s cock and pulsating violently around his length, soaking his thighs with your juices, scent so strong you were sure whatever class that was going to use this lecture hall next was going to smell your cum splattering to the floor.

Jungkook gritted his teeth and rammed his hips into you, dragging you down to meet every thrust, intensifying your orgasm, ripping your pantyhose even more. Once, twice, three times, and he groaned, shuddering as he spilled into the condom, cock shivering inside you as he came. You could feel how much it was, pressing against your walls.

His long hair was all over his face, black strands clinging to his tan skin, sweat dripping off his chin, pink lips quivering, dark eyes roaming over your fucked-out form. Panting hard, matching your heavy, grating breaths behind your now saliva-drenched neck scarf. After a long moment, Jungkook reached down and held onto the condom, slowly pulling out of you.

Holy fuck.

Holy fuck.

You reached up with a shaking hand, pulling the silk out of your mouth. It came out in a long strip of fabric, smacking against your cheek as your removed it from your lips.

Holy.

Fuck.

You sat up, your body screaming at you, seeing Jungkook breathing hard, tying up the condom.

“Did you just tell me you love me?”

Jungkook’s ears turned bright red. He chewed on his lip, biting it hard before facing you. Dark brown eyes suddenly vulnerable, scared. It was the most uncharacteristic expression you had ever witnessed on Jeon Jungkook’s chiseled, handsome face.

“Uh… yeah.”

There was a moment where you realized both you two were mostly naked in a random classroom, clothes thrown everywhere, having made a mess once again.

“Sorry,” Jungkook added quickly. “It slipped out.”

You blinked at him. “Why are you apologizing?”

He rubbed his nose, looking away.

“Well… aren’t you just fucking me because you like to be dominated?”

You frowned. “No, I’m fucking you because I’m in love with you.”

You saw Jungkook freeze. He turned his head robotically, eyes wide and doe-like. “R-really?”

You looked down to notice that your heels were on the tile floor. When had you lost those? You grumbled, trying to straighten out your panties and the remains of your pantyhose. It was doomed. You shrugged, dangling your legs over the edge of the desk as you looked back at Jungkook and his surprised expression. You raised an eyebrow.

“Are you really that much of an idiot?” you muttered, your own cheeks burning, letting out a puff of annoyed air. “Yes, I love you. Why else would I tolerate you staring at me like I’m some kind of zoo animal? Why else would I risk getting in trouble by running around like this? Why else would I let you fuck me at school, in the middle of the damn day, again?”

Jungkook rubbed the back of his neck. “Erm… because I’m hot?”

You rubbed your forehead and sighed exasperatedly, standing up, instantly wincing. Jungkook took a step forward to catch you, but he almost tripped on his pants down his ankles. You caught yourself against the desk and raised a hand, shaking your head.

“Pack your damn dick,” you muttered. You yanked your tights down your legs, removing them and balling them up. They were useless now anyway. You found your bra and put it back on as you eyed your chiffon blouse. Good thing it wasn’t ripped. It only took you a moment to slip it back on, rebuttoning it and tucking it into your skirt. You pulled your pencil skirt back down, straightening it, thighs immediately sticking together from your own fluids.

Yup, still no more comfortable than yanking your pants back on after a session with Jungkook.

You noticed him putting his leather jacket back on and picking up the condom wrapper. He took the silk scarf from the table and shoved it in his back pocket. You went back to him to gather your shoes, but he knelt down, holding out your black heels as if you were Cinderella.

“I can just–”

“Step.”

His tone was sharp and you immediately obeyed, raising your foot and stepping into your shoe. First one, then the other. Jungkook stood back up, exhaling a little. You looked up at him. His chocolate eyes flitted about tensely. He opened his mouth to speak.

“Do you… uh…”

You cut him off. “Jungkook, if you cheat on me, I will personally castrate you with a spoon.”

He cringed. “Ouch.”

You took the used condom and the wrapper bits from him, shoving them into your balled-up pantyhose. You marched towards the door confidently, pain shooting throughout your body with every step. Jungkook called after you.

“Your hairpins.”

You turned your head back a little.

“You can drop them off at my apartment later.”

And then you unlocked the door and stepped out of the classroom.

Park Jimin waved at you, grinning. Plump lips curved into a mischievous smile, wearing a denim jacket and jeans. You almost jumped seeing him standing there. What the fuck is with this guy’s timing? He eyed your hand holding your ruined pantyhose and you put it behind your back, glaring at him.

“I told Namjoon you had a lady emergency.” Jimin wiggled his eyebrows at you before holding up your phone and black purse, the belongings you had left in the back room. “You took longer than you should have.”

You felt your ears burn. “Shit. I need to get back.”

“To Jungkook, yeah,” Jimin chimed teasingly, making you glower at him.

Of course. Jungkook had turned Jimin into his scout for your escapades. Fantastic. You suddenly felt a strong presence behind you. The door had opened and Jungkook’s arm snaked around your waist, yanking you possessively to his side. He placed his chin on top of your head, inhaling the scent of your hair.

“You wanna go on a date, noona?” Jungkook purred, his free hand playing with the ends of your disheveled hair.

You pursed your lips. “I have to get back and help Namjoon.”

Jimin waved a hand. “He’ll be fine for one day. Plus, you’re being kidnapped.”

You opened your mouth to protest, but Jungkook slapped his hand over your lips, marching you in the opposite direction of Career Week, Jimin skipping behind you two, cheerfully humming.

-

part iv

--

masterpost

[just--another--daydreamer]

Close to you

» Izuku Midoriya x male reader

» Angst with some fluff » Requested (by anon): I need a fix of desperate, angsty fluff with Izuku. Maybe his hero bf recklessly goes after a villain alone and gets captured, so Pro-hero Deku has to rush to his rescue, scared of what he might find. » Warnings: mentions of religion at the beginning; dissociation; anxiety; overthinking; smoking; emetophobia; descriptions of blood & gore; mentions of death » Words: ~3.5k

You can find a link to my Masterlist etc in my bio and pinned post

Midoriya had never been one to pray to any gods for a wish. To him, it often felt selfish – after all, there were people who needed help more desperately than he did and they should receive it first. Even during his darkest moments, he had never even thought about praying, he had always known that he could rely on his own strength as well as his friends.

However, this time, his hands trembled as he put them together in a manner meant for praying. With his eyes closed and head lowered, Midoriya tried to think of a way to phrase his prayer but no right wording would come to his mind – in the end, he only stared at the dark behind his closed eyelids, incomprehensible thoughts filling his mind.

“Izuku.” A firm grip on his shoulder pulled Midoriya from his thoughts. It caught him off-guard, and he almost prepared himself for an attack before he recognized the person who stood before the bench Midoriya sat on. “Oh Shouto, it’s you!” Midoriya sighed in relief at the sight of his friend. “I’m sorry if I scared you, but the meeting should start very soon, and I didn’t want to miss the chance to talk to you before the others are here.” They were still the only ones in the bright yet depressing hallway of the hero agency that Deku currently worked at, and after taking a quick look at his watch, Midoriya figured that it would still take the other heroes a few minutes to get there. “Sure, what is it?” The light smile that had adorned Todoroki’s lips from when he had just greeted Midoriya vanished again and was replaced by a deep, concerned frown.

“I don’t think you should be leading this mission, Izuku, but someone else should do it,” Todoroki’s voice sounded just as concerned as he looked. “To be frank I would not even want you to participate in this rescue at all, but I don’t think that I could ever stop you from that.” Midoriya took a moment to think about his fellow pro hero’s words. It had already taken him all the self-control he had to not immediately run after you to save you, so he had to be on this mission. Though, he had to admit that due to the personal feelings toward this mission, his judgement might be off, so having someone else lead it would probably put them at an advantage.

“When you’re saying, ‘someone else’, do you mean yourself?” he inquired, and Todoroki nodded in confirmation. Midoriya took a few seconds to consider the proposal. Down the hall, he could hear the rest of the team for the rescue mission approach them. “Alright, let’s do it!”

The small conference room was unusually quiet. There was no happy catching up with one another, no euphoric reunions after not seeing each other for a few months. A pressing silence filled the room like thick, heavy fog as the ex-class 1A students Midoriya, Todoroki, Iida, Kirishima and Uraraka sat around the table, eyes fixed on their hands and the files in front of them. The only words that had been spoken were words of solidarity towards Midoriya, which he appreciated.

While Todoroki opened the meeting by greeting everyone and thanking them for coming, Midoriya stared down at his hands. The skin on his fingertips around the nails was reddened, a side effect of his anxious habit of biting his fingernails. Midoriya thought that he had gotten rid of said habit, but the current situation had changed many things. Before him on the table, his hands started to blur as his eyes filled with tears once again. He quickly wiped them away, hoping that nobody would notice.

Todoroki’s speech only barely reached him, only as a seemingly distant, faint mumbling as though he was speaking to Midoriya through a thick concrete wall. The whole room started feeling like a wide and open space with his former classmates miles and miles away. Mind numbing emptiness filled Midoriya’s heart and went through his veins until it was the only thing he felt in his whole body. As his breathing got faster, his heartrate picked up. Why was he there? Why was he not on his way to get you already? Even though he sat perfectly still, Midoriya felt dizzy, only from the way his mind spun – around and around and around like a carousel, Deku being the only passenger on this horrendous ride.

“You look really pale, Deku, are you alright?” Uraraka’s voice was as soft as ever. The soothing tone was able to momentarily stop Midoriya’s mind. For a second, he looked at her without an answer before simply nodding.

Only when Todoroki asked Midoriya to go over the situation once again, he was completely pulled back into reality. His legs trembled a little as Deku stood up. The eyes of his former classmates all followed his movements very carefully, trying to get clues about their friend’s mental state that the situation caused. Uraraka and Kirishima looked especially worried whereas Todoroki and Iida kept their expressions professional.

“Thank you everyone for coming on such short notice,” Midoriya started. He balled his hands to fists and squeezed as hard as he could to keep his mind from wandering too much that might cause him to break down again. “The villain organization that has been watched by several agencies for the past few months made a move about a week ago, as some of you may know. It was the first incident of that kind and several civilians got hurt in the process.” Deku clearly remembered the pictures of the scene on the news. Neither his nor the hero agency you worked for had been able to stop that despite being the ones watching the organization. “Y/N went after the villains alone and has not been seen since.” His voice got quieter with every word he spoke.

Your actions contradicted what you had learned at UA not so long ago. Staying calm and collected in crises, thinking rationally, and getting help was the priority. But guilt and anger had eaten you up. Midoriya could not blame you for that, even if he wanted to. He had experienced the same feelings in the past, put himself in danger, worried others, all because he wanted to play hero. Midoriya sat down again and let Todoroki take over once again.

“Since we know where the villains are hiding, it will be easy to retrieve the target.” ‘The target’. Midoriya flinched. The way the words came out of Todoroki’s mouth, the lack of emotion and his straight face were something admirable and scary at the same time. Reducing you to merely the word ‘target’ and the emotional disconnect that came with it would probably make this mission easier for Deku, but he just did not manage to think that way. With a sigh, he sank deeper into his chair and listened to Todoroki’s plan.

It was an easy one, starting with negotiations led by Iida. He was the best that that sort of thing, so Midoriya had no problem leaving that to him. However, he was not really fond of the idea of exchanging your life for something like money but since it was the easiest way to avoid direct confrontation, they had to try it. If that did not work, Iida would go in through the front door, and Todoroki, Deku, Kirishima and Uraraka through the back door in two teams to get ‘the target’ out by themselves. Combat was to be avoided. The top priority was getting you out, not arresting the bad guys, though the police would be waiting in front of the building to take them in.

The base of the small villain group was an abandoned warehouse – because of course it would be that. The alley behind it was narrow and dirty, littered with shards of glass and cigarette butts. Next to the dark water in the potholes, Midoriya could see dried as well as fresh blood shimmering on the asphalt. The sight made him sick, a feeling he had not experienced in a while.

The four heroes came to a halt at the place where they would go into the building through the back door. There were no guards, which came as a surprise, but even if there had been some it would not have been a problem for any of them. Midoriya and Todoroki stayed back and inspected the alley while Uraraka and Kirishima got ready at the heavy double-winged door

 Midoriya crouched down and inspected the blood stains. Todoroki’s eyes were fixed on him, he could almost physically feel it. With his gloved hand, Midoriya moved some reddened shards around, not entirely sure of what he was doing or why he was doing it in the first place, but it was a way to keep his hands and mind busy. Todoroki had his own ways of doing that. “I thought you quit,” Midoriya remarked. “I thought so too, but-” Todoroki did not care to finish his sentence and only a few seconds later, the smell of cigarette smoke reached Deku. He wrinkled his nose. “The situation is getting to me too, you know?” Todoroki’s pronunciation was a bit curious with the cig between his lips. “The same goes for the others. Kirishima, Uraraka, Iida, they’re all worried. Bakugou, too, even though he isn’t here today.” A short pause. Deku assumed that Todoroki was taking a deep drag. “It is really getting to me.” His voice was quieter this time and it had a tone to it that Deku barely knew from his friend. It was desperate, hopeless, pleading.

Midoriya had no words of affirmation that he could tell Todoroki. Hell, if he could think positively in this situation, everything would be a lot easier. He searched and searched for words, but none would come to his mind. And in the end, he did not need to say anything. Midoriya’s communication device made a static sound, before he heard Iida’s voice, loud and clear. »Negotiations failed. What will be the next step?« “We’re going in,” Todoroki told them without hesitation. “Understood!” Midoriya got back up and was at the door in less than a second. He looked at Uraraka and Kirishima, both had a determined look on their face.

Todoroki stepped to them and – given the lack of a bin – dropped his half-smoked cigarette to the ground. “That’s not very heroic of you, Todoroki,” Kirishima commented. Uraraka giggled and even Midoriya managed to crack a smile. “I’ll pick it up later,” the leader of their mission said and Deku was sure he saw his lips twitch into a fond expression as well, even if it was only for a split second. They all became serious again. “Deku, open the door for us.”

  The inside of the building was dark and empty, and Midoriya was not sure why he had expected anything else. His and Uraraka’s footsteps on the wet ground resounded through the empty hallway. It was quite dark, most of the lamps on the walls were either broken or very dim, so the major source of light were the occasional holes in the ceiling. It took Midoriya all the self-control he had not to activate One For All and charge forward – Uraraka and he were a team, and they should stay together since running around alone might be dangerous. The further they got into the building, the harder it got for Midoriya to keep it together. With every door they opened, with every room they inspected, anxiety and terror grew withing him. There was no sign of you.

It did not take long for some villains to show up, but at this point in time they were no match for Deku. Anyone who tried to get in his way right now was put down in mere seconds. Uraraka kept his back free and had an eye on him in case he got too reckless.

The last door he approached was a pain to open. Midoriya had to push it with his shoulder since the hinges were rusty and it took him a few tries until the door finally budged and creaked open. Behind the door, Midoriya was met with a pitch-black room. He reached over to the wall besides the entrance and searched for a light switch. A single light bulb hanging from the ceiling flickered on, only giving enough light for Midoriya to see the rough shapes of the room’s interior, but it slowly started glowing brighter. That was when his heart stopped.

For a split second, Midoriya thought that maybe he had come too late, that maybe you were already dead. The sight of you, tied to a chair with ropes so tight that they were cutting into the flesh on your wrists and ankles sent shivers up and down his spine. Blood dripping down from your chin had already formed a small pool on the already wet floor. He noticed the smell of blood, sweat and vomit still fresh and heavy in the air.

“Y/N?” His voice was merely a whisper. Maybe he was afraid that if he were loud enough for you to hear, you would not react. Midoriya forced himself to take a step. Lift his foot off the ground, move it onwards, put it down again. Now with his other foot. Lift, onwards, down. And again. With every step, a new wave of sensations and feelings washed over Midoriya. First it was disgust – he could not help that one but looking at your skin peeling off your flesh and exposing the bare muscle tissue and bone almost made him vomit. Then it was hysteria – Midoriya could both laugh and cry out loud until he lost his voice, kiss you on your dead cold bloody lips, dance and jump through this awful room – because he finally found you but what if it were too late? Then it was fear – and with this feeling numbing his mind once again, he reached you.

“Y/N?” He crouched down so his face was on one level with yours. The dull sound of Midoriya’s gloves falling to the ground echoed through the room, to him it was almost as loud as an explosion. As he held his breath, his now bare hand reached out for you almost all on its own, touched your neck, searched for a pulse. To Midoriya’s relief, your skin was not cold, but warm. Maybe even a bit too warm. His hand wandered up your neck and he cupped your cheek, wiped away some blood with his thumb. Under his touch, your muscles twitched. Midoriya pulled back and watched as your eyes fluttered open. Your gaze was empty and unfocused for a while, wandering from the dark walls of the room to the lightbulb over your head, until it stopped on Midoriya’s face.

He watched as your eyes widened. “Izuku?” Your voice was hoarse and filled with so much desperation that it made the hero’s heart drop. “Is it really you?” Midoriya nodded. He pressed his lips together and did not dare to answer, afraid that his voice would break if he said anything. “I’ve been waiting for you.” You made an attempt to reach out for him but the restraints around your wrists made that impossible. Midoriya swallowed the lump in his throat and forced himself to stay focused. “And I’ve been looking for you. I’ll get you out of here now.” Over the comms, he quickly informed his teammates over the mission’s success before he reached into his pocket for a knife. “I’m sorry that I’m so late,” he told you as he cut through the ropes. They were sticky, some even slippery from the blood. Deku tried not to pay too much attention to that but the sight of the crimson red shimmering on his hands made him gag. “The most important thing is that you’re here now.” You cracked a smile, but it did not look too convincing.

Once your hands were free, you swiftly wrapped your arms around Midoriya. It took him by surprise, but he hugged you back, careful not to use too much strength that might hurt you. You buried your face deep in Midoriya’s chest, fingers digging into his back, clinging to his suit. Just now he felt the way your body trembled, Midoriya did not know if it was exhaustion or fear. Maybe he was shaking as well. He wanted to stay like this forever, feel you in his arms, warm and alive, hold onto this thought and only this one while ignoring the horrible reality. Blood wet Midoriya’s clothes but he had nothing to take care of your wounds with. To be honest, he did not want to look at them. All he wanted was to keep holding on to you, forever.

Fighting noises reached his ears, not too far away. Men yelling. Your grip tightened a little and Midoriya thought that maybe you were shaking a little more now. “I want to leave, Izuku,” you whispered. Midoriya did not say anything. He listened carefully as the noises faded away. A few seconds of pressing silence passed awfully slow. »We’re all clear!« Todoroki’s voice was calm but Midoriya heard a hint of relief. However, he decided to stay put for a few more minutes to make sure that no other people were picking a fight anywhere else.

“Let’s go,” he said after a while. He could not spend another minute in this building, afraid that you might end up dying from your injuries.

As gently as he possibly could, Midoriya lifted you from the chair and carried you out of the building.

  Talking to the police and the press was a pain. Todoroki did most of it, given that he had been the leader of this mission, but Deku still had to talk to everyone as well. Press conferences with countless questions, some challenging their beliefs and morals as heroes, some too personal for Midoriya to answer – questions about you, your wellbeing, your relationship to the hero Deku. When he was not currently being interrogated by the public, Midoriya spent every free minute in the hospital, by your side. At first the doctors had not let him see you, but he had still stayed there the entire time. And when he was finally allowed in your room, Midoriya could not contain himself and his emotions any longer.

He sobbed and cried and swore and apologized all in one go without taking a breath while you tried to calm him down. He held your hand the entire time he was there, afraid that if he let go off you for one second, some villains might separate the two of you again.

“When are you getting released from the hospital?” Uraraka questioned while she put a small bouquet into a vase on the windowsill. The blossoms shone in the golden light of the evening sun and threw dancing shadows on your white blanket. “Next week, probably.” You gave her a tired smile. “Though I’ll have to be inactive for a while during my healing process.” Midoriya knew that having to neglect your hero duties like that was hard for you, so he squeezed your hand reassuringly. “We’re all wishing you well!” “Thanks Uraraka!” The two of you watched as the young woman left again. She was not the only one who had visited. The whole team had been there, Todoroki visited frequently, and even Bakugou had showed up once or twice.

“This sucks, I’m so bored!” You whined, getting a short chuckle from Midoriya. “I know, but you need some more rest.” He looked down at your intertwined fingers. Your wrists were still covered in bandages but some of your wounds had started to heal again. However, it would still take quite a while for you to fully recover. Midoriya ran his thumb over the fabric. “You’ll get better soon, and I’ll always be here to support you during this time. I miss you at home and being close to you.” “Thank you. And I miss that too.” A soft smile formed on your lips, so Midoriya leaned forward and placed a tender kiss on them. He lingered there for a moment before standing up and grabbing his jacket. “I should get going, it’s late and you need your rest.” “Alright!”

Midoriya slipped into his jacket but before he could leave, you sat up, grabbed him by the collar of his jacket and pulled him down into another kiss. “Hey, you’re supposed to lay dow-” Midoriya started to complain but quickly quit to return the kiss. When you let him go and Midoriya walked towards the door he had a smile on his face. Everything was going to be fine. He turned around by the door and looked at the flowers and the curtain moving in the wind. “I’ll see you tomorrow!” “See you tomorrow, Izuku!”

[trillgutterbug]

tagged by @malewifemanhunter ty!!

name: trill q gutterbug, the q stands for queer

star sign: who knows or cares

height: 5'10, which means i can definitively say coffee doesn't stunt your growth, even if you start drinking it age 4

time: 9:38am 😓 i do NOT want to be awake rn but the rest of my family is gone atm so the grisly burden of letting the chickens out at ass o'clock fell to me. (eta it is now 12:13 bc i fell asleep for two hours before posting this)

birthday: the day laura ingalls wilder was wed

favorite bands/artists: of montreal, why?, clipping., and nine inch nails are the eternal faves i can't get sick of, but im also tremendously partial to kendrick and lil nas and hozier and mcr and twenty one pilots and the like. also i listen to a lot of chillhop and electroswing, because im a good person with good taste

last movie: i think mad god, which was fantastic and completely incomprehensible. i don't usually have the attention span to sit through a movie if im watching it alone, so.... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (eg, the way i still have to finish everything everywhere all at once, which i got an hour into last week, enjoyed tremendously, then got up to walk around and listen to a podcast and play a video game and jerk off or whatever the fuck, and just haven't gone back!)

last show: i believe the latest ep of what we do in the shadows.... or maybe sunny? or euphoria? whatever it was, i was watching it with jackie im sure!

when did i create this blog: idk where to find that info, but im p sure 2014, after LJ shat the bed and i dipped from active fandom for a couple months and when i came back it was like.... owo where'd everyone go?! here, apparently.

what i post: constant thirsty nonsense about a rotating string of fandom obsessions, shitposts, sometimes a bit of tumblr-brand anarchism and socialism bc even the junkfood buffet churns out a smidge of healthy caloric content every once in a while

last thing i googled: i don't use google but the last thing i duckduckgo'd was........ where's wade wilson from, bc i saw something that said vancouver and one of the movies implied regina but i swear to GOD i know it's winnipeg from some other source. results annoyingly inconclusive.

other blogs: @truelevelb1tch, my rick and morty side, which is going to pop off again in a MONTH (!!!!!!!!!) when s6 starts dropping 😱😱😱. i do not apologise for the person i become when r&m occurs, fair warning

do i get asks?: not enough to worry about, thank goodness

following: idk where to find that info either, but it's probably a few hundred, the vast majority of which are inactive at this point. i probably see <50 blogs on my dash??

average hours of sleep: like eight, which is NOT enough for me, but it varies wildly between 5 and 10 depending on what im doing for work on a given day/whether i have to get up early for animal-related reasons/if im up reading fic until 3am/time of year/blah blah

instruments: flesh flute....,,,

what i’m wearing: nuthin

dream job: I Do Not Dream of Labour

dream trip: i hate travelling! but i am partial to visiting my cousins' farm on the reg, so let's say that

nationality: canadian

favorite songs: the trapeze swinger by iron and wine has been my fave song for about ten years. it's almost ten minutes long and if stats across various laptops and ipods and phones could be collated, it would show a playcount in the thousands lol. i first heard it as the closing music on the amazing podfic for the inception fic presque vu and it gutted me on the spot. ode to the mets by the strokes is also on the same trajectory. otherwise, my fave songs come and go in the usual way, by liking something and listening to it repeatedly until i can't stand it. (eta: just went into my music app to see if i'd forgotten anything, and literally the only thing on my "most played" list is the trapeze swinger, so...)

last book i’ve read: currently reading (aside from the massive eternal stack of ww2 ref books) the half life of valery k by natasha pulley and grimscribe by thomas ligotti. most recently before that i read borne by jeff vandermeer, the kingdoms by natasha pulley, blood meridian, the d&d 5e player's handbook, and some postapoc scifi thing that was so forgettable i genuinely cannot conjure up the name of it or its author!!

top 3 fictional universes i’d like to live in: idk, they all seem uniquely bad in ways that do not necessarily improve upon the unique ways in which our current universe is bad. but to be sporting i'll say star trek of course, anything jared harris is in bc i want to fuck him more than im afraid of space terrorists or freezing to death or nuclear radiation, and the fictional universe i've been manifesting in my imagination for years where we never invented agriculture and i died at birth for simplistic umbilical cord-related reasons

lowkey tagging @kaasknot, @collapsinghorizons, @mollynoble, @twobrokenwyngs, @pohjanneito, @lingua-mortua, @sloppyplanetary, @alakeeffectgirl, and @quiescentire

[bakapandy]

Hi! Hope this finds you more than well!

So... I like to draw, l'm not very good at it (anatomy, poses, perspective... Lots of problems), but sometimes I really enjoy it. The problem is, when I'm in front of a piece of paper or my tablet, I get very anxious and freeze. I don't know what to draw and I'm so scared that everything will be horrible that I just can't do anything and end up finding something else to do just to stop feeling so bad. I know I have a lot to learn and when I decide to just copy a picture or a drawing I like, it goes ok, but I just can't Create anything and it really makes me feel awfull.

All of this to say that I really really like to look at what you do. There is always a story, an emotion, something very strong in your work that I can't help but admire. I know there must be so many hours or thought and work behind it, so, I thought maybe you could give advice? Or share you experience with or process, from now or when you started getting into art, maybe? Do you feel anxious when you start something? Do you have a way to get rid of it or at least keep it at bay a little? How do you come up with the things to say in your art? And the ways to say them?

Anyway, whether you answer or not, I'm glad I at least asked and I hope you have a great rest of your week.

Thank you for reading this :)

Hmmmm honestly, I’ve never really felt that sort of anxiety. I definitely went through this phase where I was always like “omg my art sucksss” but it has never stopped me from creating or even posting my art. It was more like that middle school age self deprecating humor rather than true anxiety or dislike for my work.

But I can understand where the feelings come from, it’s so easy to compare yourself when so many amazing artists are out there and people on the internet can be very cruel when they’re hidden behind anonymity. I think what’s important though, is to know who you’re drawing for. Yes I post my art and share it for you all, I love seeing all of your comments and reactions to my work, but in the end, I’m drawing for myself. I draw to satisfy and entertain myself.

And rather than be envious and compare yourself to those artists, take inspiration from them. Why do you enjoy their work? What appeals to you? Can you use it yourself? Whenever I see a really good artist, I always keep this in mind.

Recently, I’ve also just started to enjoy my own work. I know I’m not perfect, I make plenty of mistakes and my understanding of anatomy is nowhere near complete. But I’m learning every time I draw and every piece is experience under my belt. So even if it’s not good, I still created something and learned from it. And overall, I just have fun. Drawing has been my stress relief for years, the last thing I want is to make it stressful. (Though I guess that’s why I decided early on that I did not want to do art as a career.)

It also helps to go into drawing not expecting a finished piece. I RARELY know what I’m going to draw next. Every canvas starts with a dozen random doodles until something comes to me and I feel I can keep going with it. Don’t be afraid to just make marks on the paper or canvas. The more you do it, even if it’s scribbles, the less intimidating it becomes. The paper does not judge you. My sketches are always so messy and incomprehensible that no one else but me could really understand what’s going on lmao.

This got longer than anticipated but I hope it helps a little lol