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sanchoyo · 4 years ago

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danny phantom season 2, ep 12-16 thoughts! these episodes, in comparison to the first 10 or so, felt way more laid back and low-stakes, which I appreciate sometimes. I didn't appreciate how lazy jack's halfa design was in masters of time, it made me so annoyed I redesigned it. 👎🏻 u_u

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-'picking a fight with me and my upgraded form!' 'you upgraded to a mullet?' DANNNNY. YOU CANT SAY THAT TO TECHNUS. YOUVE HAD A MULLET TWICE NOW ('fun' split danny, and evil future danny BOTH HAD THEM). I HAVE THE RECEIPTS.

-danny seeing technus hurting valerie and yelling I AM GOING TO BREAK YOU IN HALF. SAMEEEE <3

-axion labs is now a part of vladco. FUCK YOU VLAD. hes not even really IN this episode, but just thought I'd throw out a nice fuck you anyway.

-'capable of blasting a single person into space in (2) minutes!' tucker. that would kill someone. i mean yeah they might get to space, but theres NO WAY THEY WOULDNT CATCH FIRE, OR THEIR ORGANS WOULDNT LIQUIFY BECAUSE OF THE STRAIN. THEY'D PROBABLY PASS OUT BEFORE THEN, BUT. ...no, okay, I get why vlad bought this company. this is RIGHT up his alley.

-danny KNOWS VAL DIDNT DO THIS, THAT SOMEONE STOLE THE SUIT. AND SPENDING ALL NIGHT CHATTING WITH HER. <3 and val is a 9TH DEGREE BLACKBELT?? danny's mom is, too!! omg and she hunts ghosts, his parents would love her. and her fav fruit is kumquat bc its a funny word. im so with danny val is amazing. I love her and I Do Not Want To Hear It From Sam.

-I knew danny wanted to be an astronaut, but the bowling tidbit is like. yes give me more useless info abt these characters, I love tiny details that make them feel more human, and im glad hes got hobbies aside from ghost stuff, we dont really see a lot of that!!! (I mean, we knew 'fun' danny from when he split himself in half liked bowling, so obv it makes sense he LIKES it, but hes very GOOD at it. so proud of him, bowling king) val calling him neil armstrong and them teasing each other. LOVE THAT.

-technus you are my favorite grandpa for setting this up. SAM WHY ARE YOU BEING SO CREEPY BE HAPPY FOR YOUR FRIEND!!! STOP SPYING ON THEM!!! who actually cares if technus did 'set them up' together, theyre having fun and enjoy each others company!!! 'you think the universe wants you two to be together?' 'i dunno, but maybe /I/ do!' EXACTLY DANNY!!! SOO TRUE.

-and valerie being happy sam said she wants to try and be happy for them and make room at the lunch table for them. and hugging sam over it. VAL NEEDS MORE FRIENDS.

-VAL GOING AFTER TECHNUS IN HER SUIT WITH (1) MILK, AND (1) TREE BRANCH AND KEYS!!!. I LOVE YOUUUU BEST GIRL. her new suit kicks ass

-dannys like 'HEY IM AN ASTRONAUT :D' AW. ...HES IN SPACE... the fact he's actually intending to give her the ring. with SAMS NAME ON IT?? IM CRINGING DANNY NO. YOU CANT DO THAT...thank god he didnt. thank god valerie cut it off and said they can just stay friends for now. tbh, they both have a lot on their plates!! they obv both still like each other...it can be a future thing!! when she knows about phantom! youre 14 theres no need to rush. I just want her to have friends and be happy :(

-...danny struggles to do (1) pull up. SAME. but all the ghost fighting in phantom form REALLY doesnt carry over at ALL? that sucks

-sam being as fit as she is, is not just a goth. shes a goth jock.

-honey I Shrank Our Kid, One of his Enemies, and his Bully: the episode

-dash's crush on phantom is So Obvious. fitness buddies :) watching them interact always makes me laugh. also, phantom, with PANTS. 'how many costume changes you gonna go through, what is this, vegas??' DASSH DJKSFHASKDF

-MADDIE GOING AFTER THE MOUSE WITH A BROOM, WHAT THE FUCK. AAAH. JUST BUY SOME KIND OF MOUSE TRAP.

-danny likes lime and vinegar chips. which sound very good.

-'our boy finally has the physical prowess of a 60 year old president!' ...poor danny LMAO

-'what's wrong with beauty pageants' oh tucker you sweet naïve child. what ISNT wrong with them. who approved this for a high school?? (I mean, yes. unfortunately child pageants exist, but...) also danny and tucker once again treating the pretty girls like objects. I need to meet the grown man who wrote this, I just want to talk...

-prince aragon's dragon form reminds me of maleficent (color scheme wise) which is always a bonus. considering the episode is called beauty marked, I feel like the sleeping beauty references are deliberate

-sam with the fake fangs. once again her accessories never miss. hate the 'not like other girls, girls who get sucked into this kind of thing are all shallow and all want to be carbon copies' bs tho.

-sam trying to be the Worst Bride, being rude as shit. DORA IS GOING TO GET KILLED. DID YOU MISS THE PART WHERE SHE SAID THE PRINCE WILL HAVE HER HEAD IF YOU ARENT THE IDEAL BRIDE. YOU /KNOW/ DANNY WILL COME SAVE YOU. JUST ACT CHILL UNTIL THEN. even if you were doing fine to get him to take off the crown, consider maybe not letting his poor sister get punished also?? sure, she could also take off the crown and has dragon powers, but did you know that for sure?? dora didnt even really realize it until you guys talked!! (or at least, she was scared to stand up to him. you had no guarantee she would...) but. good for dora. ANOTHER friendly ghost to add to the List :)

-tucker is so under appreciated in his time. if he was doing a tech-based campaign today he'd have a better shot. people in 2004 had NO IDEA how much tech would be a part of our day-to-day lives...altho. tbh if you're going to be running for student council president, maybe you should..focus on things to actually improve the school? since he's going for a tech angle, he could say like, he would be running fundraisers for the schools computers to be upgraded, etc? we've already SEEN he can be good at money-making entrepreneur type stuff!!

-oh my god wait. this episode is JUST YUGIOH?????! A REBORN PHAROH USING A TEENAGER AS A VESSEL?? YESSSSSS

-tucker using his new minion to feed him grapes and carry him. AND LOCUSTS ONTO THE BULLIES. I love how when he's possessed, he gains winged eyeliner.

-this episode is giving me big 'plankton makes everyone in bikini bottom his slaves and build monuments of him from the spongebob movie' vibes. and the pharaoh has a traitor who works for him? VERY big yugioh vibes. aknadin confirmed

-I like that danny is still completely exhausted after using ghostly wail. (still patiently waiting on him to get duplication)

-LOVE the fenton's 80s outfits. I get hes 14 and embarrassed by everything they do because theyre his parents, but. cmon, this is one objectively cool thing theyve done. love 80s fashion.

-...was vlad just standing on that streetlight waiting for danny to come out? how'd he know they'd be coming out the back? how long has he been up there???

-oh, wait, his ecto-acne has flareups? that SUCKS. danny was...well I dont want to say he was LUCKY HE HALF-DIED, but he was lucky his was pretty instant (I'm assuming that had to do with the power/scale of the portals being different?) I remember in the ep we met him, vlad made a point of saying he was stuck in a hospital for a long time, so. that really actually sucks and I feel bad. not that it excuses anything he's done...but like. it does suck.

-vlad being so sure danny wouldnt help him he made it somehow contagious to his friends to make sure he'd get help? danny is a nice boy, he wouldve helped if it was anyone else. the only reason he wouldn't have is because of the shit vlad did to him, on purpose. vlad 100% dug his own grave by being the biggest asshole, so it is very hard to feel bad for him.

-clockwork is back!!! and making danny learn lessons The Hard Way. Uhhh, okay. I kind of get Danny’s logic, that time traveling this far back would prevent vlad from becoming a halfa also, ergo no arch nemesis or ectoacne to worry about. But the fact that was basically the first solution Danny came up with to solve this problem is actually so funny. It’s so extreme

-APPRICIATION FOR THESE 80S LESBIAN BG CHARACTERS.

-vlad telling maddie in the lab (in the 80s) he has something he's wanted to tell her 'for a long time'...how long have they known each other? I assumed they met in college, since jack always calls vlad his college buddy/roommate, so jack and vlad for sure met in college, but did vlad know maddie longer? thats surprising if so. Tho we don’t know what year of college they’re in so they could mean they met as freshmen and a few years have past…speaking of maddie shes crushing the 80s look.

-vlad blames jack, but. maybe dont stick your face 2 inches from the portal??! THIS FEELS LIKE LAB SAFETY BASICS. IF SOMETHING HAS POTENTIAL TO BE DANGEROUS, DONT GET NEAR IT. WITH YOUR FACE UNPROTECTED IN ANY WAY. (altho jack didnt really give a Big Warning besides screaming BONZAI. so. also that, but cmon.) also, they need gloves, goggles, and to pull all of their hair back tbh. but fuck lab safety, I guess!

-cryyyyinnng at how lazy they were with jack's ghost form design, its just plasmius' design on jack!!! you couldve given him his own design!!

-there. I did that in about 10 minutes and its somehow less lazy than what made it into the show. embarrassing! better yet, I think the episode would've been better if maddie would've gotten the ectoacne. or maybe its just me, wanting to see her design! anyway. I'm sure people have already done redesigns of them both as halfas. I have to go look after I finish this watch through. Also mildly frustrated jacks resentment and bitterness is basically also a copy paste of vlads backstory. They’re different characters, I really don’t think jack would stew in bitterness and jealousy the same way vlad would!! I also don’t think he’d give up after one time of trying to hunt ghosts and getting laughed at. Our canon timeline says different…I dunno, I get it was for laughs, but I’m annoyed because the POTENTIAL this plot has…

-did vlad really wear a stupid cheese hat to his wedding. ok actually that kinda rules. and the cheese door knocker. the dairy-only buffet table. vlad still got rich, just on being the New Dairy King. (Assuming that means he owns a lot of dairy businesses?) ok! this actually is great. hope maddie isn't lactose intolerant!

-'no matter how hard I tried, I could never get rid of my ghost half, the half I knew Maddie could never accept' ohh, ouch, what a horrible thing to say to her HALF GHOST SON. 'YOUR MOM WILL NEVER ACCEPT YOU' BASICALLY.

-maddie strapping danny to the table with a lazer pointed at him in a secret lab she keeps from vlad that she makes a point of saying is sound proof so he can scream all he wants...CHRIST. DANNYS POOR PYSCHE.

-also, not to feel bad for alternate vlad (because, he did lie to maddie saying jack blames her and never wants to see her again...) but. being married to a woman 20+ years and she immediately goes back to jack? if she didnt love vlad and feels like she had to hide shit from him, and says she wasted her best years with him, WHY MARRY HIM. it feels like leading him on!!! cannot believe im feeling bad for vlad, but. this alternate timeline vlad is significantly Less Horrible than Our Vlad. did she not think she'd get funding for her ghost stuff? (which, fair assumption since they're considered 'ghost fanatics/nuts in canon...but...) why did she think jack or vlad would be her ONLY OPTIONS? be like your sister. be single. Actually, this au could’ve been really interesting if after the accident, vlad lied to her and said jack never wanted to see her again, but she stays single. Imagine how much that would bug vlad… like, in her mind, it was never a competition it was jack or no one type situation…

-danny being like 'leave him ALONE' this jack is a HOMEWRECKER, DANNY. let them go to court and settle this at the least. ...or just throw vlad into the portal. (100% human, defenseless vlad) CHRIST, MADDIE THATS BRUTAL. THATS MURDER.

-danny seeing his mom immediately accepting him and his dad being half ghosts in this universe, if I was him this would be a great sign that his universe's maddie would also.

-*maddie voice* "clockwork will help!" *2 seconds later, with clockwork* "I will Not Help." TOUGH LOVE KING. YES LET DANNY SEE THE SODA HIMSELF AND DEVOLP BETTER OBSERVATION SKILLS.

-when clockwork ""reset time to the way it was"" just before danny "meddled"" ...did he really erase a whole alternate timeline? ...damn. because maddie and danny both called it an alternate timeline by name, it splitting when the college incident went different, so it wouldnt have really mattered if he reset it, right. like because danny's timeline is on a different stream? why didnt clockwork just. show danny a replay and not Reset That Timeline. wh...I wonder how many people that Erased From Existence. Anyway! once again stating clockwork is casually terrifying!

#danny phantom #dp thoughts #sanchoyorambles

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mercurryblack · 4 years ago

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Chapter 8: Rosario

A certain Garland girl spends a peaceful evening with LLAC’s leader.

❃❃❃

“You’re late, chica.”

Rosario Garland had never been the kind of girl to make others wait. She may not have been perfect, but she prided herself on making sure that she was at least fifteen minutes early when she was meeting with anyone, regardless of the importance of their meeting.

The girl was patient if nothing else, and that trait had proved itself invaluable when she started dating Lillian, who was also an early bird. It had come to the point where it had become a friendly competition— whoever was the last to arrive would pick up a check, and vice versa.

Not that it really mattered, however— she couldn’t recall the last time she had lost to Lillian.

“Of course you’re here already. Why is it that you always come first?” Lillian said, greeted her girlfriend with a side hug and a kiss on the cheek.

“Would you prefer it if I came last?” grinned Rosario, nuzzling up to her.

Lillian shrugged. “You know, sometimes I wouldn’t mind if— wait.”

Rosario’s grin widened. “Heh. Gotcha again, Lilly.”

“Okay, I set myself up for that one.” Lillian sighed, her cheeks turning pink as she understood the entendre. Pretending that she wasn’t caught off guard, she coughed loudly and continued. “So, what have you been up to these past few days, Rosa?”

Rosario let out a long breath as she answered. “Ohhhhh, y’know, the usual. I’ve been helping my parents with th’ Dulcinea in my downtime, and making sure Sirocco and Socorro stay out of my room. School’s been drop-dead boring, though. Pbbbllltt.” She blew a noisy raspberry. “I shoulda become a Huntress like Dad used to be.”

Lillian nodded, as the two started to walk. “It’s got its ups and downs. How’s the restaurant doing, anyhow?”

“Pretty well. We got flatscreens installed, so with the Festival upcoming, it’s reached the point where we don’t have to eat leftovers from the day’s menu any longer.” Rosario rolled her eyes. “I know it’s saving Lien, but papa’s got a butt-load of dosh saved up from old contracts. You think he’d be less of a tightwad.”

“Eh, it’s practical. Huntsman mindset and all that.” Lillian shrugged. After a moment, she smirked and gently elbowed Rosario. “Maybe your folks should’ve invested in a McGarland’s franchise instead.”

“You’re kidding, right?” Rosario scoffed, shaking her head. Her brown hair swayed across her shoulders. “Y’know, I asked mamá about doing that a while back, and she said that— word for word— ‘she’d sooner shove her head in a boiling fry vat than ever involve herself with her shit-eating malaka of an idiot brother ever again.’”

Lillian nodded, humming pensively. “This ‘idiot brother’… the same one who tried to take her as his wife? Helios something-or-other?” She asked.

“Apollo, actually, and yeah.” Rosario replied. “I never actually met the guy, don’t really want to. All I know ‘bout it’s that papá found out and beat him up in some ritual fight, and won the right to marry mamá, and they eloped to Mistral City and lived happily ever after, blah blah blah. Just the same story they tell me on every single anniversary of theirs.”

“You swamp clans are a laugh a minute, aren’t you?” Lillian remarked dryly.

“Tell me about it. I’ll take the Dulcinea over being sent away to Laurelboros anyday.”

“If I get another break, I’ll try and pay you a visit over at your place. Who knows what my feminine charms could bring, hm?” Lillian half-jokingly suggested.

Rosario laughed. “Yeah, that’d be a hoot— see how many poor schmucks try and hit on the biggest lesbian in all of Mistral.” She said. “But enough about me, Lilly— what about you? Anything new in your life, my dear Huntress?” She asked, leaning her head sideways and curiously raising an eyebrow.

“It’s been… stressful. You heard about the whole SYBR case in the news, right?”

Rosario nodded. Days prior, the news of the two members’ deaths had flooded the news outlets. While the details of the case still remained confidential, the media hadn’t shied away from the gruesome way in which the murders had taken place. “Yeah, Dad was pretty shaken up about it. He used to be pretty close with Yaara and Berilo— well, all of them, really. They were in the same year, I think.” She bit her lower lip. “What about it?”

Lillian sighed. “Well, we’ve been assigned to help out with it.”

“Yeesh. How’s that going?” asked Rosario, wincing in surprise.

“Right now, the whole thing is shitty. It was done neatly, whoever did it made sure they weren’t leaving any clues.” Lillian pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration.

“Ugh, we haven’t made any progress since the initial investigation. I feel like dead weight.”

Rosario affirmingly placed a hand on her girlfriend’s shoulder, giving it a gentle rub. “Hey, hey, don’t beat yourself up over it. I’m sure you and your compadres will find out who did it. Who knows? Maybe you just haven’t looked in the right place yet.”

Lillian turned to the Garland girl, her eyes half-lidded and her expression unamused. “Really. Not the right place. In the exact place where they were murdered, Rosario?”

“ … Okay, not my best moment of reassurance, but you know what I mean.” The Garland girl winced.

Lillian rolled her eyes. “Sure I do, cabeza hueca.”

Rosario glowered. “I may be stupid—”

“Yes.” Lillian cut her off, visibly holding back a laugh.

“This is you getting back at me for that “came last” bit, isn’t it?”

“Also yes.”

***

After twenty minutes’ worth of a pleasant stroll, the pair finally made it to the upper cliffs near the base of Haven Academy. It was mainly a residential area, but just behind the pagoda-style houses was a cozy picnic spot overlooking the mountain’s majestic waterfall. Only a select few were in the know, yet it was a popular dating spot among those few.

So it was just as well that they were here now, in the evening when nobody was about to interrupt them.

Lillian had thought it would be a good idea to bring Rosario to a place that wasn’t a restaurant. The Garland girl had more or less grown up in one, so a change of scenery was best for both of them. Undoing a backpack that Rosario had handed off to her earlier on, she tossed a blanket to Rosario, who spread it out on the grass while Lillian undid the cloth surrounding their meal’s basket.

The couple ate their food— a pair of bocata-style sandwiches the Garland had made herself— as they overlooked the city. It made each of them drift away from the issues in their minds; doubts, worries, and problems fading to the back as they took in the serene moment.

Naturally, Rosario figured it was a bit quiet.

“Uh…” She began, attempting to come up with an appropriate point for conversation. “So, Lilly, how’s your training going? The Vytal Festival’s coming up in a couple’a weeks after all, right?”

Lillian coughed on her bite of food. “Oh, yeah, right. Vytal.” She had almost forgotten about LLAC’s prior plans for the festival. For a second, it seemed like only yesterday that she and her team had been drilling for their matches.

“My cousin Robin— she’s in her second year, I think you’ve met— she’s popped around the shop once or twice while you were there. She’s entered her team already, says they really have a shot at the championship.” Rosario continued. “You could probably kick her butt, though.”

Lillian nodded. “I’ve run into her a couple of times. Her teammate… Kogane or something? She went and bought a couple of new Mistrali-styled uniforms for me and Am when we first arrived in Haven, after bawling us out for wearing what she called ‘unfashionable’ Atlesian outfits.” She huffed disparagingly. “Yeah, as if her three-inch heels are any kind of improvement over a tac suit, but whatever.”

She paused, taking a bite out of her sandwich. “Oh, and just so you know, I could kick your cousin’s butt. No sweat. But I doubt it’d happen anyways.”

“Whff’a maffr? Iff’ere—mllpp— s’there a problem?” Rosario asked, swallowing a particularly large bite as she turned to Lillian.

“No… it’s just that I think it’ll be much better for LLAC to not participate in the festival altogether. We promised to help Detective Yuen with solving the SYBR case.” She pursed her lips. “So I think it’s safe to say that we’re not going to be fighting anytime soon.”

Rosario threw her arms up, stunned. “Not going to fight? Are you shitting me? I’ve seen you guys throw down in exhibitions, remember— between that goth’s agility, your sister’s durability, the hat kid’s unpredictability, and your strength, you’re totally fit to win it! You’re one of the best fighters I know, amiguita, no way are they gonna keep you from the Festival!”

Lillian rolled her eyes. “Well, be that as it may, it still won’t change the fact that we’re busy with the murder investigation, and this year’s festival is being hosted in Vale. It’s too far away, no way are we going to get a pass from Detective Yuen to compete.” She replied.

“Man.” Rosario muttered, shaking her head. “That just ain’t right. You talked to the rest of the team about this yet?”

“Not yet, no, but I figured I’d tell them tomorrow. If they agree with me, I’ll talk to Professor Lionheart about withdrawing from the tournament.” She scratched the back of her neck. “And if they don’t… well, I’ll figure something out. But that’s not important right this minute.”

However, the nagging thought of how her teammates might not agree to her proposition stayed in the back of Lillian’s mind. Either way, she was stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Seeing the girl’s troubled expression, Rosario leaned in to rest against the crook of Lillian’s neck. “Okay, I get it. Enough serious talk.” She said, before turning her attention again to the view from the mountaintop.

“I never realized how pretty it is when you get just a little higher up.”

She lived in the area just underneath the cliffs, and had little business anywhere higher, so she’d never paid much consideration to coming to the summit before. Now that she did, she was slightly awestruck by how small Mistral City looked from up on high.

“It’s even prettier when you see it all the way up, right from the academy grounds.” Lillian said, her voice calm.

“Lucky. Means you get to take it in all the time.”

“Well, after a few years there, you’ll get tired of the view and much rather be down in the city proper.” Lillian shifted her shoulder. “But do you want to know about the one view I’ll never get tired of?”

“Sure. Where’s that?” Rosario asked, looking up to face her.

“Here,” Lillian gently placed her hand atop Rosario’s own and stared at the city below them, before turning her gaze to her girlfriend. “Right beside you, Rosa.”

After a moment’s pause, Rosario pulled her beanie down and averted her gaze, trying to hide her suddenly flushed face. It was usually her who threw around corny romantic remarks and double entendres, but when Lillian said something to make her blush…

Well, she could dish it out, but she wasn’t very good at taking it.

“You have the prettiest eyes I’ve ever seen, you know that?” Lillian said, giving the Garland girl’s cheek a soft brush as she gazed into Rosario’s turquoise orbs.

“Yeah, and you have the cheesiest compliments.” Rosario replied, still blushing. “But thanks, I like yours too. They’re, uh…” She trailed off, too distracted by Lillian’s eye contact.

They lapsed back into silence, looking over the cityscape dotted by lights under a darkening evening sky.

“…Time like this, kinda makes you wish this moment could last forever, doesn’t it?” Rosario asked offhandedly.

“You mean, this moment with your hand on my abs?”

Rosario tilted her head downwards, and noticed that her left hand had indeed found its way onto Lillian’s stomach.

“...You mind?” She asked in a faux innocent tone, glancing back up.

“Hmf,” Lillian smiled, wrapping an arm around Rosario’s shoulder. “Not even a bit.”

Rosario grinned, slowly closing her eyes as she melted into the embrace. “Then, yeah… this is a moment I could live with.”

#team llac #team llac fic #rosario garland #lillian armilde #fanfic #fan fiction #rwby fan fiction #rwby oc #rwbyoc #rwby

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thewolfisapartofmysoul · 5 years ago

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Hey lovelies,

Another fic... This time its a Beetlejuice x reader. Actually i was planning on a quick drabble but got sucked into it. 😅

Reader is coming out as not-straight to Beetlejuice. Either bisexual, lesbian, asexual, tanssexual, pansexual, aromantic, gender-neutral (or any i've missed)...

Any 🏳️‍🌈single one of you... i love you and you are valid as hell. 💕

Thanx for reading. Hope you enjoy.

@paxenera @demonwifey @hoodoo12 @ironmansuucks @stranger-strings @vicunaburger

You were lounging on the couch with your favorite ghost-with-the-most, laying on your back with your head on his thigh as he gleefully chatted about the last scare he gave Lydia 10 minutes ago. You chuckled as Beetlejuice tried to reproduce the scream of terror Lydia had made when he jumped out of her mirror. Again. For the 4th time this week.

The vibe was relaxed and happy, his hair was vibrating-neon-green because of the joy he just had pulling a scare on Lyds. Sometimes you felt pity for the goth teen, but then figured that she would get back to him the same way soon enough. It was often only a matter of time untill she figured out a plan to scare him back.

A smile creeping up your face as you praised yourself lucky to be part of this loving odd family.

As Beetlejuice stopped talking, you noticed him looking at you as you were laying on his lap. His eyes narrowing as he thoughtfully scratched his scruff. You got uncomfortable at his stare so you blurted out: "wha-... whatsup BeeJ...? Do i have someting between my teeth again?" He rolled his eyes saying: "No babes. You look as pretty as always... its just... you dont have the mood-ring-hair-awesomeness going on like me. But i can tell that you're upset about something lately."

You took a deep breath. Of course Beetlejuice would notice. He was your best pall.

"Yeah... i uhm... did some thinking recently and erhmmm..."

He was looking at you with kind eyes as you stuttered through your scetence. "I... want to tell you BeeJ, i just can't... quite... say it."

Beetlejuice nodded quickly, understanding where you were coming from. Far too many people could hear you around the house right now.

His eyes glinsetered and his while body perked up, smile forming on his lips as he started to yell at the top of his lungs: "Hey Babs...?! Uhmm....I think i set the stove on fire AGAIN!!!" He winked at you and clipped his fingers, wicked smile on his face as even more neon green appeared in his hair.

Whitin seconds you heared everyone running through the house towards the kitchen, a swearing Charles rushed past the living room first, with a fire extinguisher in hand. Lydia right behind him, scolding Beetlejuice as she ran after her dad. Barbara and adam following suit trying to calm Charles and Lydia down. Delia followed quickly behind mumbling something about bad karma, also rushing towards the kitchen.

Your eyes went wide as you looked at the demon you were still lounging on. His eyes smirking as much as his mouth did, and you smacked his arm. "Ouch! Hey!! Gimme a break babes... i got you some nice and quiet talking-time!" beetlejuice defended himself.

"Yeah... well... you could have just poofed us away youknow?" you mumbled, but had to laugh at his antics anyway. A smirk was creeping up his face as he hummed: "Its more fun this way! Now... im all ears doll... you were saying?"

You sat up next to him and pulled your legs under you, so you were sitting cross-legged beside him. He was once again looking at you intently.

"Well... the thing is... i think i... might not... be... straight?" you winced a bit at your own words. Watching his face closely, expecting him to do the same. He never did. Instead he frowned a bit as he started to speak: "Babes... you do realise that i am literally attracted to every human being, regardless of whats in their pants... right?" You nodded. "Then you do know that that shit is NOT what makes you less then the awesome breather you are."

You felt tears pickling behind your eyes as he said so. Swallowing thickly at his kind words. "If you ever want to talk to me about how you feel, im here for you babes. And i am the last demon around thats going to judge you.... Besides...." he clipped his fingers again. Bouncing with excitement as he did so. The green smokenaround you dissapeared you were both wrapped between a rainbow flag together. "...we are both KILLING the rainbow look, babes." You chuckled, feeling happy and relieved your bffff foverever accepted and supported you.

He went to lay his scruffy cheek on your shoulder as he tugged the rainbow flag closer around his shoulders, getting comfortable next to you. He purred softly: "... now... tell me all about it babes... im listening."

#alex brightman #bouncy oddball #beetlejuice imagine #beetlejuice x reader #beetlejuice/reader #beetlejuice the musical #beetlejuice #beetlejuice broadway #beetlejuice beetlejuice beetlejuice #pride #lgtbqia+#lgbtq positivity #you are valid #never forget #lgbt 🏳️‍🌈#🏳️‍🌈#🏳️‍🌈pride #myownfic

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jackdaniel69nice · 5 years ago

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Ninjago OC’s

I don’t really make ocs unless it’s plot specific but here are a few I have because it’s oc day I guess (this got so long I’m sorry)

Side Characters

Brody Grey and the Oppenheimer gang

Description: mid 20s, tip-dyed black hair (color is subject to change but he likes red), likes to wear tie-dye and anything from the 80s, average adult male height, Gay

Personality: overdramatic but with a rational head, energetic and likes to tease, gives good advice and father figure I guess?, love of reading and writing, can be flirty and cocky at times

Backstory: Was disowned by his parents when he came out and has had to make it on his own, Theater major at the Oppenheimer and successful too, was Cole’s roomate (they didn’t get along at first)

Plot Purpose: Cole-centric backstory exploration, Brody and co. reveal a lot about Cole’s past to the other ninja (more about the emo depressed grieving version in the pilots) and helps him come to terms with it, Also tell them you’re gay Cole, yeesh. The other friends are important to expanding the other ninja like Alex (non-binary, quiet, goth, Violinist) helps Jay deal with that he’s trans and coming out of the closet, Persila (bi, short blond, actor, excitable conspericy theorist and fandom queen) Probably figures out Jay is Cliff Gordon’s son, Melissa (lesbian, singer, Mom, sweet thing but easy to anger and holds a grudge) Was the first one Cole latched onto in the group because she reminded him so much of his mom [there are other things too with Nya and Kai and Zane but I don’t feel like elaborating more now], ANYWAY Jay takes Cole to see a musical and recognizes Brody (who he hasn’t been in contact with since he left) and they talk after the show leading down the road of all Cole’s old college friends meeting the ninja

Random Facts: He’s dating Vinnie and NO ONE CAN STOP ME, he’s sorta supposed to be Cole’s foil (where Cole is blasting My Chemical Romance and AC/DC he’s blasting Boogie Box High and SOS Band), he’s a mash of all the other ninjas personality’s not gonna lie

Tony Tabloid

Description: 12-14ish, shorter side but gets a major growth spurt when older, short black/brown hair, missing tooth, classic news boy hat that’s to big for him

Personality: Bright young boy with plenty of street smarts, will talk your ear off, full of himself and would fight anyone or anything no matter their size, very energetic but with a cool attitude

Backstory: Orphan at Walker’s Home (Jay’s rich and built an orphanage cause he’s nice like that) in Ninjago city, was on the street since young age, ex-thief, turned around at Walker’s though and now is head of the Ninjago city newspaper delivery (probably knows Nelson)

Plot Purpose: All the ninja seem to have a child that gives them advice at one point or another so here’s Jay’s, Jay has the rights to the Star Fairer enterprise (unknown to the other ninja) and when Lloyd mentions they should make new movies but can’t he goes about making it happen, he makes it all seem like he’s uninvolved but somehow gets them vip passes to see the movie in action (he says it’s from his ex-acting career connections), Tony is playing the younger version of Fritz’s son (our main character) in flashbacks, Jay is the one who got him his “gig”, he ends up revealing a lot of stuff Jay would rather keep hidden and probably almost dies doing something stupid and Jay has to save him

Random facts: Tabloid obviously isn’t his real last name (not sure wheather he chose it himself or people just started calling him that) it’s obviously related to his work, speaking of work he wants to become a journalist or reporter when he grows up, Jay gave him one of his smile buttons and he put it on his hat, I like to think in the future he gets adopted by Brody and Vinnie

Fievel Schmidt

Jay’s old friend, knew him before he transitioned, I mostly only use him in movie!verse BUT..., in show his mother is a mecahnic who buys parts from Ed and Edna, boyfriend ran off so she’s a single mom, the walkers always take a weekly trip into ninjago city to trade and sell so she’s a regular, Edna takes Jay and Fieval to the arcade and does grocery shopping, unfortunately his mom got seriously injured and can’t do mechanics anymore so they lose touch, plump and short, very sweet boy

Next Master of Sound

I feel like everyone forgot Jacob died in season 4 so here’s a reminder, he never had any children so it went to a random kid, little girl, Long black hair, she accidentally killed her parents when she caused their house in her small village to collapse from crying and activating her powers, selectively mute from fear of her own voice, Cole adopts her, becomes a next gen ninja I guess?, the only time she uses her power is when she sings (which Cole taught her to do)

*Witch doctor, Percy

Male, Lives in the Departed Realm, takes care of it sorta?, knows good magic, hangs out with whisps, helps the ninja (usually Cole) get home by telling them about a portal

Old Man

Grocery market clerk from ignacia, payed off hospital bills for Kai (14) after Nya (10) had an allergic reaction to perfume, Kai had work for him moving veggies and such for several months (got to keep some food though)

Snake Fam

Venomari lesbian who lives in the woods with her wife and 3 adopted kids (one is human), she (her kids) rescue one the ninja and bring them home to heal up so they can go save the others

Tagalong

Jay’s cat he had growing up...Not gonna talk about her right now [if you know, you know]

Villains

Felicia Blake

Scientist obsessed with trying to understand magic and elemental powers, thinks she can figure out how to channel elemental power like the First Spinjitzu Master did, very confident, only concerned with progress and no concern for individual life, ends up capturing Jay and experimenting on him :(

*Ali

Referenced in the Amulet of Ali which channels pure evil/dark magic, was the first sorcerer ever and basically made magic, was banished to the realm of madness and gained power there bringing back his learnings to ninjago, he wrote the book of spells which clouse and and garmadon studied under Chen (which is how garm knew the realm would give him power), Probably killed by Libber (previous EM of lightning) who sacrificed herself to stop him [but did she really kill him?!], Clouse gets the amulet from Borg Tower which boosts his power and now him and Jay have to duke it out like their previous versions did

???

Someone had to make Mr. E, I wonder who?, Jay took Echo back to Cliff’s flat to live after skybound and fixed him up, he might of done a few to many upgrades though and someone saw this as an opportunity, he was attacked while Jay was away and barely got away hiding in the secret room, unfortunately Jays blueprints were stolen (unknown to him) and the rest destroyed, Jay took Echo to the his parents but after seeing Mr. E he’s worried, now someone is throwing out new nindroids based on his designs and they are still searching for Echo, this mystery person plans to build an even stronger nindroid army to sell, prove they are a worthy inventor, and maybe take down the ninja along the way [do partially sentient multicolored nindroids based on the ninja count as ocs?]

*subject to my whims and could change to fill similar plots

#ninjago #ninjago oc day 2020 #ninjago oc #Brody Grey #Tony Tabloid #dont worry once i figure out how to draw cats ill tell you all about Tagalong #she gets her own post #Tagalong

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theomnilegent · 6 years ago

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2019 Upcoming LGBTQA Fiction I’m Excited For!

A new year, a new top nine for women-lead LGBT fiction I’m looking forward to reading! There are, of course, a great many more books than the nine I’ve chosen this time ‘round - I think I will eventually make a part two to this post. I am so, so happy to see that this year we have even more diversity, even more stories about characters from all walks of life, from different parts of the LGBTQA umbrella, and even more LGBT novels. I remember a time where it’d be hard to find more than two YA novels with LGBT themes published in a single year - and now we have so many amazing works coming out!

The themes for 2019 seem to be gay witches, space gays, and explorations of mental illness in the LGBT community. I am so excited to read stories about girls and magic! I am more excited to read stories about girls and love! And I am definitely excited to see multiple books seriously addressing the issues of mental illness in young lesbian and bisexual women - it is a serious topic that has often been glossed over in the past, and to see multiple works that want to tackle these issues, and the issues of toxic relationships, in a healthy way is refreshing.

Below you’ll find titles, summaries, and goodreads links.

Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up With Me by Mariko Tamaki Laura Dean, the most popular girl in high school, was Frederica Riley's dream girl: charming, confident, and SO cute. There's just one problem: Laura Dean is maybe not the greatest girlfriend. Reeling from her latest break up, Freddy's best friend, Doodle, introduces her to the Seek-Her, a mysterious medium, who leaves Freddy some cryptic parting words: break up with her. But Laura Dean keeps coming back, and as their relationship spirals further out of her control, Freddy has to wonder if it's really Laura Dean that's the problem. Maybe it's Freddy, who is rapidly losing her friends, including Doodle, who needs her now more than ever. Fortunately for Freddy, there are new friends, and the insight of advice columnists like Anna Vice to help her through being a teenager in love.

Starworld by Audrey Coulthurst & Paula Garner Sam Jones and Zoe Miller have one thing in common: they both want an escape from reality. Loner Sam flies under the radar at school and walks on eggshells at home to manage her mom’s obsessive-compulsive disorder, wondering how she can ever leave to pursue her dream of studying aerospace engineering. Popular, people-pleasing Zoe puts up walls so no one can see her true self: the girl who was abandoned as an infant, whose adoptive mother has cancer, and whose disabled brother is being sent away to live in a facility. When an unexpected encounter results in the girls’ exchanging phone numbers, they forge a connection through text messages that expands into a private universe they call Starworld. In Starworld, they find hilarious adventures, kindness and understanding, and the magic of being seen for who they really are. But when Sam’s feelings for Zoe turn into something more, will the universe they’ve built survive the inevitable explosion?

The Lost Coast by Amy Rose Capetta Danny didn't know what she was looking for when she and her mother spread out a map of the United States and Danny put her finger down on Tempest, California. What she finds are the Grays: a group of friends who throw around terms like queer and witch like they're ordinary and everyday, though they feel like an earthquake to Danny. But Danny didn't just find the Grays. They cast a spell that calls her halfway across the country, because she has something they need: she can bring back Imogen, the most powerful of the Grays, missing since the summer night she wandered into the woods alone. But before Danny can find Imogen, she finds a dead boy with a redwood branch through his heart. Something is very wrong amid the trees and fog of the Lost Coast, and whatever it is, it can kill. Lush, eerie, and imaginative, Amy Rose Capetta's tale overflows with the perils and power of discovery — and what it means to find your home, yourself, and your way forward.

Tell Me How You Really Feel by Aminah Mae Safi Sana Khan is a cheerleader and a straight A student. She's the classic (somewhat obnoxious) overachiever determined to win. Rachel Recht is a wannabe director who's obsesssed with movies and ready to make her own masterpiece. As she's casting her senior film project, she knows she's found the perfect lead - Sana. There's only one problem. Rachel hates Sana. Rachel was the first girl Sana ever asked out, but Rachel thought it was a cruel prank and has detested Sana ever since. Told in alternative viewpoints and inspired by classic romantic comedies, this engaging and edgy YA novel follows two strongwilled young women falling for each other despite themselves.

The Meaning of Birds by Jaye Robin Brown Before, Jessica has always struggled with anger issues, but come sophomore year that all changes when Vivi crashes into her life. As their relationship blossoms, Vivi not only helps Jess deal with her pain, she also encourages her to embrace her talent as an artist. And for the first time, it feels like the future is filled with possibilities. After In the midst of senior year, Jess’s perfect world is erased when Vivi suddenly passes away. Reeling from the devastating loss, Jess pushes everyone away, and throws out her plans to go to art school. Because art is Vivi and Vivi is gone forever. Desperate for an escape, Jess gets consumed in her work-study program, letting all of her dreams die. Until she makes an unexpected new friend who shows her a new way to channel her anger, passion, and creativity. Although Jess may never draw again, if she can find a way to heal and room in her heart, she just might be able to forge a new path for herself without Vivi.

The Weight of the Stars by K. Ancrum Ryann Bird dreams of traveling across the stars. But a career in space isn’t an option for a girl who lives in a trailer park on the wrong side of town. So Ryann becomes her circumstances and settles for acting out and skipping school to hang out with her delinquent friends. One day she meets Alexandria: a furious loner who spurns Ryann’s offer of friendship. After a horrific accident leaves Alexandria with a broken arm, the two misfits are brought together despite themselves—and Ryann learns her secret: Alexandria’s mother is an astronaut who volunteered for a one-way trip to the edge of the solar system. Every night without fail, Alexandria waits to catch radio signals from her mother. And its up to Ryann to lift her onto the roof day after day until the silence between them grows into friendship, and eventually something more...

How It Feels To Float by Helena Fox Biz knows how to float. She has her people, her posse, her mom and the twins. She has Grace. And she has her dad, who tells her about the little kid she was, who loves her so hard, and who shouldn't be here but is. So Biz doesn't tell anyone anything. Not about her dark, runaway thoughts, not about kissing Grace or noticing Jasper, the new boy. And she doesn't tell anyone about her dad. Because her dad died when she was six. And Biz knows how to float, right there on the surface--normal okay regular fine. But after what happens on the beach--first in the ocean, and then in the sand--the tethers that hold Biz steady come undone. Dad disappears, and with him, all comfort. It might be easier, better, sweeter to float all the way away? Or maybe stay a little longer, find her father, bring him back to her. Or maybe--maybe maybe maybe--there's a third way Biz just can't see yet.

Going Off Script by Jen Wilde Seventeen-year-old Bex is thrilled when she gets an internship on her favorite tv show, Silver Falls. Unfortunately, the internship isn't quite what she expected... instead of sitting in a crowded writer's room volleying ideas back and forth, Production Interns are stuck picking up the coffee. Determined to prove her worth as a writer, Bex drafts her own script and shares it with the head writer―who promptly reworks it and passes it off as his own! Bex is understandably furious, yet...maybe this is just how the industry works? But when they rewrite her proudly lesbian character as straight, that's the last straw! It's time for Bex and her crush to fight back.

These Witches Don’t Burn by Isabel Sterling Hannah's a witch, but not the kind you're thinking of. She's the real deal, an Elemental with the power to control fire, earth, water, and air. But even though she lives in Salem, Massachusetts, her magic is a secret she has to keep to herself. If she's ever caught using it in front of a Reg (read: non-witch), she could lose it. For good. So, Hannah spends most of her time avoiding her ex-girlfriend (and fellow Elemental Witch) Veronica, hanging out with her best friend, and working at the Fly by Night Cauldron selling candles and crystals to tourists, goths, and local Wiccans. But dealing with her ex is the least of Hannah's concerns when a terrifying blood ritual interrupts the end-of-school-year bonfire. Evidence of dark magic begins to appear all over Salem, and Hannah's sure it's the work of a deadly Blood Witch. The issue is, her coven is less than convinced, forcing Hannah to team up with the last person she wants to see: Veronica. While the pair attempt to smoke out the Blood Witch at a house party, Hannah meets Morgan, a cute new ballerina in town. But trying to date amid a supernatural crisis is easier said than done, and Hannah will have to test the limits of her power if she's going to save her coven and get the girl, especially when the attacks on Salem's witches become deadlier by the day.

#queer fiction #wlw books #wlw literature #queer literature #lgbtqa literature #lgbt #book recommendations #yeah i'm gonna do this every year wlw books excite me

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listen-to-miracles-again · 5 years ago

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For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic. I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists. I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun. I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed. I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat. I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy. I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy. I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS. I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape. I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist. I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch. I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell. I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell. I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat. I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world. I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people. I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible. I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay. I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash. I TAKE ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants. I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem. I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store. I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage. I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore... I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe. I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut. I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs. I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob. I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo. I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend. I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars. I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy. I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore. I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut. I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one". I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST! I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin. I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life. I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention. I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention. I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual. I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist. I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all. I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player. I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer. I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser. I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that’s how Russians roll. I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi. I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT. I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13 I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent. I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy. I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid. I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat. I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly. I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7 I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals. I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up. I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist. I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork. I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty. I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser. I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self-control. I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister. I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore. I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive. I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border. I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat. I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot. I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis. I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay. I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich. I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino. I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party. I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo. I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy. I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone. I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too. I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't. I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social. I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy. I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch. My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills. I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch. I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs. I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser. I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE… So I MUST be a whore myself. I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual. I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak. I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker. I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted. I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled. I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak. I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant. I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo. I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent. I’m QUIET if I don’t know you so I MUST be emo or anti-social. I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend. I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers. I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare. I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth. I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE. I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid. I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE. I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER! I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth. I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future. I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue. I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex. I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian. I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see. I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE. I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER. I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED. I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST. I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST. I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick. I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY. I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE. I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard. I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean. I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid. I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the time I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian. I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting. I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak. I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life. I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too. I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp. I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around. I CURSE A LOT so I MUST be a bad kid and have problems I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems PLEASE READ WHAT'S UNDER THIS!! I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian. I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman. I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights. We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time. I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room. I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me. I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again. I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear. We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men. I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me. I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman. I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman. I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male. I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men. I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that. I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual. I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me. I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind. I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love. I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parentshe loves another male. Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it Sorry for the long post. I just think this is important. I got this from Ivory’Lee Lambskank on m.fanfiction.net

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lids-flutter-open · 7 years ago

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goth trans boy YA set in undisclosed PNW college town, chapter 2:

(content warning for: LGBT youth group, discussion of predatory grooming and stalking)

Chapter two

Group night was Wednesday, and that meant at seven in the evening I had to park my car by the library (because of the free parking) and walk down to Eighth Ave where the building for Compton House was. It was on the single street in downtown that was the bad part of town, or at least the bad part of town according to the Hollister set. It was just a block and a half, and it was where the homeless people and oogles liked to sit, but it was bustling with active commercial real estate, too. The gay bar was two doors down, and the same street had a show space and two Thai restaurants and a thrift store and a hair salon and a corner store. Compton House was on the fourth floor of a mixed-use building. It was accessible by elevator for people in wheelchairs as long as the elevator worked, but the elevator was the slowest in the world so anyone who could took the stairs. You had to get buzzed in the front door, because of the hate crime fears et cetera, and not even youth workers like me were supposed to know what the door code was, but I’d been going there so long I knew the code and just showed up.

Tonight the adult facilitator was Spruce, who was nice and like, an old punk, but who I hated because she gave bad advice to tweens. I got ready to mentor the shit out of the thirteen-to-fifteen-year-old set. Ostensibly I was a youth like everyone else and this was my group therapy session, but sometime last year the formula changed and I realized that the shit I was having problems with was no longer anything that anyone in the group could help me with, even the facilitator. My pen pal who I’d had since I was fourteen had disappeared off the face of the planet and deleted his blog and then he resurfaced and it turned out he was schizophrenic and had a heroin addiction, and then he went AWOL again somewhere in Kansas. I didn’t have a way to contact him and his mom, who he had told me beat him, was messaging me on social media and I didn’t know what to tell her. What do you tell a sixteen year old to do about that? Or when Opal lost housing. Nobody was ready to deal with all of that shit and it just scared the thirteen-year-olds when I talked about it, so I stopped sharing the heavy stuff at group and just tried to take care of them. It was exhausting, but also good in a way that I knew would never help me on a college application but was somehow good for the community. Not that I could tell if I was giving good advice or not, but at least I was there, or something.

There were six kids in there when I got in, sitting on the orange couch and three folding chairs and single pink beanbag. One was my age, this lesbian named Gabby that I knew was fucking some dumb college student, or had been, and had issues with compulsive shoplifting that she brought up every time she was in group. Then there was this baby looking trans girl and three baby looking lesbians and/or theythems and/or transmascs, and one scared looking little gay boy. All of the latter set were somewhere between thirteen and sixteen, and none of them had been at the group very long. I couldn’t remember their names or pronouns.

I got out the snacks, which Spruce had forgotten to do, and checked the coffee pot. It was grimy and I couldn’t remember the last time anyone had cleaned it, so I just hid it behind the snack cart in the corner and brought out the water heater and the tea and plugged the water heater in.

“Hey all, have some chips,” I said. “Or tea.”

“Ooh, the tea, miss vanjie,” said the shy gay boy, very quietly. I laughed, to show him that he could in fact say that. He smiled.

“I’m James,” I said. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“I saw you before a few weeks ago at group,” the shy boy said. “I’m Don.”

“Sorry, Don, I’m like almost faceblind,” I said. “I can’t remember people very well. I’ll remember you now.”

We went over the rules of the group before people started sharing. Step up step back had been changed last year to move up, move up, because of the ableism inherent in talking about stepping like it was universal and also the need to emphasize that listening was an active skill and not equivalent to nonparticipation. The rule basically meant that if you were talking a lot, shut up and listen, and if you were listening a lot, you should talk. The other rules were, don’t yuck my yum, which meant don’t say you hated a neutral thing someone else liked, and confidentiality, which meant don’t gossip about this shit or name people by name if you were talking shit about them in your sharing, and “this is a racism/sexism/etc free space”, which was a rule that kept expanding forever and needed to be elaborated on but in general meant respect pronouns and don’t say anything racist or say anything shitty about fat people. There was oops ouch snap, which meant that you snapped your fingers to agree with something someone said and said “ouch” when you wanted to start calling someone out. You were supposed to say “oops” when called out and move on, though that never happened. Then there was the rule that was about mandatory reporting, which meant that if the people who worked at Compton knew your name, they had to tell someone if you were being abused. That meant that people could use aliases if they wanted. There were other rules, too, which got brought up as they came up but were too obscure for our rule poster in the corner.

We always divided the time up based on how many people were in the room and then apportioned everyone blocks of time based on that. If there were a lot of people, time was always crunched. Some people shared for five minutes and got feedback for five minutes and were good, while others prattled for thirty minutes. One time when I was first coming to group a girl had read her diary for thirty minutes while a neutralized facilitator watched in paralyzed awe, unable to intervene. We were better at regulating tempo now, if only because people like me were there. Long timers.

The first girl, who was like, thirteen, talked about how she had come out to her parents and they told her that she was imagining it, and then took her to a therapist that asked her to think very hard about whether she was actually gay. The parents didn’t know she was at the group. She had come with her friend, who was wearing a rainbow bracelet. Spruce knew what to do with that kind of share, and in general told the girl that people were here for her and we cared about her. I echoed Spruce, and the other kids in the circle said their bit about how there were other gay people in the world and things were real and we cared about her. The girl, whose name was Eve, cried.

The other kids were pretty boring too, though the little shy gay boy was apparently having sex with his boyfriend, who was his age. Spruce forgot to do the safe sex talk in her feedback so I told Don about places he could find condoms and told him about the books and zines in Compton’s library that he should read about sex and STD prevention and consent. I also had him write down the times he could go get free STD testing. He was so young that there was no way he’d get on PrEP, and I couldn’t imagine he was actually able to get downtown to access testing, but at least he’d know it was a thing and think about correct condom use during sex and he’d think to get tested if he noticed anything off about his partner’s dick or got any cold sores.

Gabby talked about shoplifting. She’d stolen six hundred dollars worth of stuff from Nordstrom Rack and was worried her mom would notice it in her closet, so she was giving it away to friends. She always talked about how she was guilty about it, but I knew really this was the only place she could come to brag. I didn’t really see a problem with shoplifting luxury items for yourself and your friends, though I wouldn’t have chosen Nordstrom Rack. Gabby didn’t mention the college student, which I hoped meant they had broken up. I’d met the girl one time and hated her. Probably because she seemed like she actually shopped and spent money at Nordstrom Rack.

The trans girl, whose name was Venus, was fifteen, and hers was the first situation where I had to actually get intense with feedback. She started out with talking about how her mom wouldn’t let her get a piercing, which seemed reasonable to me, but of course devastating to a girl who really needs snakebites right now. Venus was on puberty blockers, so she had a cooler mom than most kids who needed snakebites, but even trans kids whose parents try to be supportive in the hormone and medical treatment department miss some stuff. Venus’s mom, for example, was unaware of Venus’s romantic extracurricular activities.

“It sucks,” Venus said, “that I can’t talk about my shitty relationship with a boy with my mom because she’s so paranoid that I’m sneaking around doing drugs or getting piercings or whatever and would totally flip her lid if she knew I was dating this older dude. Like I want to ask her advice about it and because I can’t get it the whole thing just keeps getting pent up and I explode at her about stuff that doesn’t matter.” She twisted her head around the room and looked at all of us without making eye contact, gauging our reactions.

Don, the gay boy, snapped his fingers. I knew Spruce appreciated that he was respecting the rule about using finger-snapping to affirm someone’s statement.

There was a long silence while Venus rearranged herself on the orange couch. It went on for so long that Spruce finally said, in the littlest little annoying breathy soft lesbian not-taking-up-space voice,

“You still have ten minutes in your share, if you want to say anything more, Venus.”

Venus nodded.

“This guy Alex is my boyfriend,” Venus said, ignoring the alias rule for talking about people, “and I love him, or I did, but I think I have to break up with him. Maybe not right away, but eventually. And it sucks because I’ve been hiding it from my mom because at first I thought it was going to last a really long time. But we’ve been dating two months and I feel like he’s only using me for sex.”

Venus paused again. Some people did that, looking for affirmation like they would in a conversation with a friend. Compton’s group doesn’t work so great for that kind of affirmation because nobody is supposed to say anything during someone else’s share.

“Yuck,” one of the small lesbians said, nevertheless. She was quiet, so nobody called her out for talking.

“And he never listens to me when I talk about what’s going on in my school, or how I feel about my bisexuality or my podcast. He’s in community college, and he’s twenty-one, so he isn’t that much older, but my Tumblr friend Koko said it’s creepy we’re dating. I think partly as a joke and partly not. But like, he sees me as a girl. He says he really likes me. So there’s that. I guess that’s why I don’t want to end it, because I like that.” She paused, and twirled her dyed bright red hair around her finger. “He bought me a choker necklace, which is like, a horrible stereotype about trans girls is that we’re all goth and otakus, but I am, so like, I appreciated it. And I can talk to him about kink, which I couldn’t do if I was dating like a high schooler. We’re trying daddy/little girl stuff, and I kind of like it. Because I never got to be a little girl and talk to my dad. But also sometimes I feel really pressured into stuff, in a bad way, so it’s like, so fucking conflicted. And he showed me this blog that’s like, trans girls getting dommed, like, porn, and it made me feel weird. I don’t know if he sees me like that, like I’m a porn star? I’m more than that. Like, I don’t know. I play video games. I want to be a video game designer. I like sports cars. I really like comics, I like She-Hulk and Ms. Marvel. I’m a teen slut, haha, but there’s more to me than being someone’s little girl and doing roleplay. And he doesn’t seem to see that a lot. He says he values me but I don’t see it. Like. I don’t know what I want to ask. How do I talk to him about that?” She sighed and ate a corn chip from the bowl in the middle of the table.

I couldn’t wait for the designated share back time, even though that was the rule of support group you were never supposed to break.

“Sorry, but is this Alex who does civil war reenactments? His blog is unholyspacemachina?”

“Hey, hey, confidentiality,” Spruce said, snapping out of whatever trance she’d been in for the last dozen minutes. I had to hold myself back from glaring at her. Spruce and her fucking knuckle tattoos reading TEND and HEAL.

“Yeah,” Venus said, looking uncertainly at Spruce and then at me.

“I gotta say this, Venus. Break up with him ASAP. Dude is bad news.”

“James, I need you to respect confidentiality,” Spruce said. “We don’t use this space for gossip. If you have something to say about Venus’s boyfriend, you need to take it out of this room.”

“Wait, I want to hear this,” Venus said. “If that’s chill. I kind of hate Alex right now. I wanna hear the dirt. I can’t believe you know him. Like, what?”

“Alex hit on me a ton when I was fifteen,” I told Venus, knowing Spruce wouldn’t have the chutzpah to kick me out of group or interrupt me if I talked loud and fast enough. “He was in this group. He was three years older than me. He would like touch my knee in group here and try to get me in the corner in the hall and touch me. One time he cornered me in the bathroom and stuck his hand in my pants. He asked me out a ton and I told him no. He’s really into sexually dominating young trans people. All kinds, but the people that look fem are his main thing. Before I went on hormones he stalked me for three months. Online and real life. He got banned from Compton for it. He kept sending me emails with weird poems about how I was a hermaphroditic goddess. He sent me a link to a password locked blog that was like six months of him journaling about how he wanted to fuck me. Before me it was this girl Katie who I was friends with, who was a trans girl who was also younger than him and who was really in a bad foster care situation. He told her he’d save her. I think some of it is like genuinely coming from a place of admiration and like, white knight sympathy, but it’s really weird and creepy and he acts like a Hannibal Lecter type stalker creep when you tell him no. Super rapey vibes. I can’t believe he’s still pulling that shit.”

Spruce didn’t seem to know how to respond to this information. “Oh shit,” she said. “That’s bad.”

“I didn’t know that,” Venus said. “Shit. Any of that. I didn’t know he went to this group. He told me that I was the first girl he’d ever fallen in love with. What a line, right?” She paused. “I guess I’ve been ignoring a lot of stuff he does.”

“It’s easy to ignore shit and pretend it’s not bad when it’s bad.”

“Shit. I’m stupid.”

“No,” I said. “Not stupid. Just, you know, it’s like the Taylor Swift song. You’re fifteen. By definition you don’t have a lot to compare this to and don’t have a ton of framework for this shit. I didn’t either. I considered going out with him a lot just because he clearly wanted me to so much.”

“I guess that was sort of what I did too,” Venus said. “He found my blog after we met in person and started sending me a lot of messages, and I was like, oh, I guess this is what feeling wanted is like.”

“Yeah. No. It’s him being a stalker freak. Which isn’t to say you’re not cool. I’m not saying you won’t ever have sex appeal or anything. But this isn’t about him being into you as a person, I can one hundred percent guarantee it’s about his weird fetish stuff. He’s not a good dude.”

Spruce was leaning forward with this dumbass concerned expression.

“What should I do?” Venus asked me. “He seemed so nice. God. I can’t believe this. We met at the bookstore, near the manga. Like in June.”

“Yeah you did,” I said. This group needs a fucking new rule: warn every trans kid in town about Alex. Especially the under-sixteen, is-a-girl set. “Look, I can’t tell you what to do, but I would consider telling your mom about this. She seems relatively cool, even if she won’t let you get a piercing. She might be freaked out, or mad, or be like, you betrayed my trust, but just know that it really isn’t your fault, okay, this dude is like a serial predator and knows how young trans people’s minds work now enough that he’s reasonably good at manipulating people enough to get laid. If you tell your mom, she’ll probably have a handle on how to get this dude away from you.”

“Oh jeez. I don’t know. She’d totally ground my ass. This isn’t something I want to talk about to her.”

“I can’t promise she won’t ground you, but like, she clearly cares about your wellbeing, since she brings you to this group and is trying to get you care and medical transition stuff. And like, you said you wished you could talk to her. That tells me she’s cooler than my parents. You can think about how you want to proceed on this stuff, but my advice is to drop Alex like a hot potato and block him on everything and have your mom tell him you’re going to call the police on him over statutory rape. Which you literally could, he’s like six years older than you and you’re under sixteen.”

“I don’t want to call the cops,” Venus said. “I think I’m kind of anti-cop.”

“You don’t have to actually call them,” I said. “Just say you will. I said that. He backed off. Or if you don’t wanna use the threat of state violence say James Goldman still knows where he fucking lives and I’ll beat him up with a baseball bat if he pulls any shit.”

“What if he hurts me?” Venus asked. “He knows where my house is. He’s been driving to my house at night so we can make out. He shows up just randomly.”

I could see that Spruce was gradually registering that this might be a mandated reporter situation. Her gears were spinning.

“Look,” Spruce said, and I took a deep breath and leaned back in the chair as her automated response started rolling. “Let’s talk more about this after group, okay? We can connect you with some resources. The main thing is that you’re feeling unsafe, and that’s not an okay thing to feel in a relationship with someone. That isn’t how you’re supposed to feel. You can absolutely find people who won’t make you feel scared that someone is going to hurt you. But look, come to the office after we’re done with group and we’ll go over your options for what to do. We want you to feel safe.” The options are a lot of pamphlets about the sexual violence shelter and recovery network in town, plus a referral to a therapist, plus the information that, since we probably have Venus’s last name and mother’s phone number, we have to tell her mom that she’s being groomed by a repeat sexual predator who’s been banned from Compton House and whose full legal name we also know. I knew that Spruce was probably not going to be the one to actually go over the options with Venus. That would probably be Natalie, who has been here longest and, whatever other issues she has as a person, is at least relatively good at having that conversation with kids in bad situations.

I was kind of shaking. That happened sometimes. I couldn’t sit there for the rest of group without a break to pause and drink some water, so I went to the bathroom for a minute. Sitting on the toilet, I remembered when Alex had pushed me into a stall in the same bathroom and tried to kiss me and shoved his hand down my pants. I hadn’t had my bottle opener knife back then, and he got his lips on my face before I screamed at him and he jumped back. I was a acne-covered kid who wasn’t on hormones and had a bowl cut and bad glasses, and nobody had hit on me before. Before that moment, even with Alex’s rapey vibes and my utter lack of sexual attraction to him, I remembered seriously considering fucking him, just because I thought I wouldn’t ever have sex with anyone and because it would have been easy. I had realized that was bad after talking to Katie and hearing about her time with Alex and realizing that coerced, bad sex is in fact worse than no sex.

Shit like this is why I’m going to be a social worker. Compton House has historically also been pretty bad at dealing with abusers. They don’t train staff well on this stuff. Alex wasn’t the first and probably won’t be the last. One time a boy’s abusive dad showed up and tried to break down the front door and then tried to grab the boy by his hair and slam his head against the door frame when the kid went downstairs to try to talk to him down. Staff didn’t stop him or try to mediate until it was too late. We had to call the cops that time. It takes something like that or a sexual assault on the property to get someone formally permanently banned from Compton. The whole formula is pretty much, wait until shit already has gone down, then process it. But at least there’s a formula. It also isn’t like the nonprofit itself attracts specifically predators, or at least not more than any other gay youth nonprofit would. It’s just that wherever there’s LGBT teenagers, there’s gonna be someone around who really wants to rape us or hurt us or whatever, and that person is sometimes also an LGBT teenager, and whoever they are they usually get as close to raping us or hurting us as they can until someone stops them. Safety policies like doors with buzzers don’t get you absolute protection. You need people who are on top of keeping kids safe and actually care about them and get the training they need to know what to do.

I really hoped Venus would be okay. I knew I would end up giving her my number, even though I knew that meant learning about the new Homestuck or whatever slightly younger weird nerdy trans kids were into these days. I had to be her friend here, or she might get stuck with someone like Alex over and over again. Or like, maybe not, after this. She seemed smart and like she was on her way to figuring things out without me. But she still needed friends. And even though I didn’t really feel like starting yet another friendship with a potentially volatile trans kid who I knew was just getting started on probably the worst time of her life, who might potentially get raped or get addicted to drugs or die at any time, I also knew I didn’t really have a choice. We had both gotten fucked with the same way.

I didn’t share anything important about my life when I got back to group and it was my turn. I talked about wanting to go to college, and I mentioned seeing a cute boy I was into. The shy gay boy, who had been absorbing lesbian and bi trans girl trauma narratives and shoplifting stories the whole night, looked heartened by this anecdote confirming that there were other gay men in the world who had sexual desire. I didn’t mention my friend Aaron, who was on heroin somewhere in the midwest, or dead, and I didn’t mention the fact that I knew some of my friends (Opal, but I wouldn’t have said their name) still cut themselves sometimes. Don’t lay that shit on people when they don’t have a way to deal with it.

When group was over, I gave Venus my email and phone number, and told her to text or call me, and that if she had her phone taken away, she could email me on a library computer. She thanked me, and typed the number into her phone.

“Thanks for telling me about Alex,” she said. “I think this is probably gonna be a shit hitting the fan situation with my mom, but whatever, I needed to hear that and know that. That’s the most useful information I’ve gotten on what to do about all this. I was just googling ‘wikihow fix a shitty boyfriend’ all the time.”

“It’ll blow over,” I said. “With your mom, I mean. Your safety is the main shit. I’m not a great influence personally and don’t tend to impress parents, but if you want me to talk to your mom about Alex I can do that too to try and speak on your behalf and explain what kind of person he is.”

“I’ll give my mom your number too,” Venus said. Then she went into the office to have the resources conversation with Natalie and Spruce.

I didn’t actually know if Venus’s mom would be cool, but I hoped she would.

When I got out of the building after group I smoked a stress cigarette and walked over to King David’s Diner to see if Goober was there. Her shift ends at nine thirty on Wednesdays. Sometimes I just wait by the bus stop for her to avoid stressing her out during closing, but I wanted to see her as quick as I could, to regain some kind of balance and remember that I was just a dumb teenager. Also to shit talk Compton. The twilight was setting in on Eighth Avenue, and the thrift store was closed, meaning the people who slept in the doorway there were already tucked into the tiny backpacking tent they put up every night. Overhead, the sky was plastered with peach-colored fluffy clouds. Goober was still working, thank fuck. She was just getting ready to go, wiping down counters and cleaning under the mats before the night shift people got there.

“Hey James,” she said. She looked tired. “What’s kicking?”

“Not much,” I said. “Just talked to some teens at Compton for a while. Spruce is no fucking good at facilitating, as usual. Can I help with anything?”

“You don’t work here, buddy. Just stand there.” She used a paper towel to get the coffee grounds from under the machine. “And tell me about it. I was so happy when I realized my social circle wasn’t all Compton people anymore. It’s suffocating.”

“It’s all I’ve got until I’m twenty-one,” I shrugged. “And good practice if I ever become like someone’s case manager.”

“I could spill some shit on Spruce,” Goober offered, pushing some flyaway hair out of her eyes with the wrist of one hand. “Just petty dyke drama, but I don’t love the girl.”

Goober’s coworker Morwen emerged from the back freezer, taking off her apron. She’s a thirtysomething butch with prematurely grey hair. She’s the day shift lead at King David’s. “Dyke drama? In my establishment?” She asked. “Say it isn’t so. I’m gonna count tips, Goober, okay? It’s nine twenty and I am out. Rafi and Miguel are already here in the back anyway.”

“Morwen, can we give James some like, pie?” Goober asked, digging in the back of the display case. “This isn’t gonna look good tomorrow and I’m pretty sure we’re not gonna sell it all tonight.”

“I didn’t see anything,” Morwen shrugged, giving me a fist bump as she walked over to the cash register and started counting her tips. Morwen isn’t the real boss—he leaves at seven, or earlier if he feels like it—so she doesn’t care that a lot of the kids who come to eat at the diner don’t pay. Goober gave me a plastic container with some kind of key lime goop in it. I put it in my canvas tote bag without saying anything. Don’t ask too many questions when you get free food. I didn’t have any more cash to put in the tip jar, either.

“Her hand tattoos always make me fucking hurl,” I said to Goober. I wanted to get back to shit talking Spruce. “I guess you only get knuckle tats that say TEND and HEAL if you’re bad at doing both.”

“What does that say about people with KILL COPS knuckle tats?” Morwen asked. She handed Goober one of the two stacks of one dollar bills she had made.

“God, are you talking about that guy Chris?” Goober asked Morwen, taking the cash.

“He doesn’t fucking tip. He was in earlier and had a twenty dollar tab and gave me two bucks. I was like thanks, bro. You remember when he peed on the empty cop car at the station at two in the morning when nobody was around and took an Instagram video and was like ohhhh I’m such a sick anarchist. I was like man, you’re twenty-nine and a white kid with a trust fund back East. His fucking friends are always partying at the goat skull place down behind me and Betty’s house. Keep me up all night. I fucking hate punks sometimes.”

Morwen’s house is really close to Goat Mansion. I’m definitely one of the punks she hates sometimes. I grinned sheepishly at Goober.

“Chris like, pushed a dumpster into the road one time on the Fourth of July and set it on fire and said it was anarchist praxis protest against the state,” Goober offered. “Which like, it might have been if he had coordinated with anyone and anyone knew what the fuck he was doing or why. But people thought it was just like, fourth of July frat boy whatever.”

“I kind of want to learn more about what effective anarchism looks like,” I said. “I feel like I’ve never seen it here. I don’t think I’ve ever known what’s actually going on. Besides the organization that runs the needle exchange and the food not bombs people.” I also didn’t know very much about those, but I knew they existed. I’d volunteered at the food bank last year every week and we’d save stuff like produce for the food not bombs people to take and make free hot meals with. They’d give them to people out of a food truck by the bus station. It’s a pretty good thing. I knew that some of those punks volunteered at the winter shelter down at the church by the library, too.

“Dude, real anarchism is just like, helping people,” Goober said. “I mean, and fighting Nazis and cops.”

“I guess I know that,” I said. “Which also, like, speaking of helping, thanks for pie.”

“Yeah, no problem,” Goober said. “Let’s split, I wanna leave this restaurant now.”

We walked to the bus stop together. There’s no predictable bus schedule or transit app, so you just have to stand there and have faith. The sun had set a while ago, and the streetlamp in front of the bus stop was broken. The world was totally dark. Me and Goober stood there a while and talked about how cool Morwen looked and what we wanted our ideal looks to be when we were Morwen’s age, or older. Goober said that when she turned thirty-five she was going to change her name to Rebecca and open a bed and breakfast in Connecticut and figure out how to get Michelle Tea and her wife to come stay there so she could break up their marriage and then marry Michelle Tea and then write a memoir about it. I couldn’t think of what I would be like when I was thirty-five. I tried to picture myself as a social worker with an actual facial hair beard. A purple beard? No, ick. A mustache? Would I dye it black?

“You’re gonna totally have like a cool co-op and a garden,” Goober said. “If the bees don’t die and we still have agriculture. But like a put-together co-op where everyone’s past their Saturn return. You’ll have like Le Creuset dishware and a well-maintained compost pile with the correct mishmash of alkaline whatever. And a bunch of very clean band t-shirts in one drawer and all your like, jam jars downstairs and a neurotic dog. I can envision exactly how you’ll be when you’re thirty-five.”

“Or I’ll be like, an emotional wreck who wears leopard print to work and tries to take care of druggy thirteen year olds and only gives them terrible patronizing advice because I’m so over it,” I said.

“Just don’t manifest that.” Goober shrugged. “Anyway, that’s not you. You’re way more likely to keep being super invested to an unhealthy extent in everyone else’s crises and give yourself cluster headaches from thinking too hard about other people’s problems.”

“Thanks.”

We watched a large black cat cross the empty street and disappear into the bushes.

“Did you hear that someone’s been killing and mutilating housecats on the West Side?” Goober asked.

“What?” I asked. “What?”

“Like, there’s been five people within six blocks that have had their cats killed in five months. It’s a serial cat killer. The cats turn up near the owners’ houses with their hair singed off their heads on one side and like, these weird marks like they’ve been stuck with some kind of needle. And their spines removed. All the same. My friends are talking about organizing a community cat protection thing where we walk around at night and try to catch whoever it is. And also protect stray cats. I’m worried about Ozma getting out and someone killing her.” Ozma was Goober’s white cat.

“That’s so crazy,” I said. “That’s scary.”

“I bet it’s some druggy sociopath college kid from the state uni. Next it’ll be people.”

“Yuck,” I said. “Don’t say that. We had the Oyster House Arsonist just like, two years ago. I don’t want any more shit to go down here.”

“It’s a small town,” Goober said. “We have a lot of secrets and dark shit. Just natural.”

When Goober caught her bus, I walked back to the library and got my car to head home. The roads that late were pretty empty. Going anywhere outside after dark on a weeknight is like that. As I drove back I listened to a new release from this artist Nightspace who I like. It got me in the right mood—it’s kind of like Grimes, but from someone who isn’t a wacky capitalist shill and whose voice sounds like Robert Smith from the Cure. Nightspace has been around a few years but is just getting big. They used to live in Seattle. As I drove past the lake, I rolled the windows down so that the kids who were drinking on the dock could get a little flash of goth culture passing through the night.

My dad’s house is fifteen minutes outside of downtown, in a newer suburban development a lot closer to the farms and the cow shit stink. My mom lives a little closer in, but this week she was at a conference for work, so I was at Dad’s. He lives with his wife Kaylin, who he married when I was twelve. Both of them are okay people. Just okay. I don’t have anything personal against Kaylin, though I hate that she keeps the house looking like a Martha Stewart magazine. Houses aren’t meant to look like that. I also feel like a really smart, good person would not have married my dad, so I’m still trying to figure out what is wrong with her.

When I pulled into the driveway I shoved all my weed gear in my overnight duffel bag before getting out of the car. The lights were on so I knew they were both awake. Kaylin was in the kitchen when I got inside, looking at her phone. She smiled at me. I nodded at her.

“Hey James,” she said. “How was group?”

“Same old,” I said. “I’m the one giving the advice these days. I think I’m probably too old for it.”

“That experience with planning workshops and stuff will be very good on college applications,” she said. She was drinking her Bedtime Sleepy Blend tea. It’s from the hippie mom yoga herb shop downtown. Catnip and meadowsweet and stuff.

“Yeah,” I said. “I’m sure tooting my own horn about it on all the essays.”

“Did you eat dinner?”

“I had a snack.”

“There’s stuff in the fridge if you’re hungry. Oh, and I’m making some crepes tomorrow morning, if you’ll be around before school,” Kaylin said.

“School starts early,” I said. “Seven thirty in the morning, remember?”

“I’m going to be up early to jog.”

“Oh, cool.” I shrugged. “Yeah, if I’m up I can help with your crepes.”

“I like that collar,” Kaylin said, in a tone that let me know it distressed her.

“Well, first week of school, gotta come on strong,” I said.

My dad came into the kitchen, wearing boxer shorts and a T-shirt advertising the fact that he likes the band The Shins.

“Oh,” he said. “You’re home. How was your day?”

“Just fine,” I said. “I’m applying to Berkley, so did some research on that after school before Compton and group.”

My dad and Kaylin looked at each other in surprise. “Oh wow,” my dad said. “Well, that’s a big challenge. Good luck. Do you have any friends applying there?”

I shrugged noncommittally. I was not actually counting on applying to Berkeley. It was one of those things I said to my dad to shut him up from asking about why I smelled like weed. I was actually applying to a number of institutions I knew he would approve of, so it didn’t really matter.

“Remember,” my dad said, “Make sure to emphasize all the different facets of your personality. Don’t focus on just one thing.”

“Totally,” I said.

“Why do you want to go to Berkeley?” Kaylin asked me.

“I’d like to stay on the west coast but go to a prestigious university,” I said, “and I haven’t ruled out law school, so it might be nice to get a sense of the atmosphere there and to make friends on that track.” I went to the fridge and unloaded the key lime slime container Goober had given me onto the shelf next to the organic milk.

“Good reasons,” my dad said. He was rummaging in the pantry. I heard the pop that signaled he had managed to pry open Kaylin’s Tupperware of carob energy cubes.

“Yeah,” I said.

“You need good grades for that,” my dad said through a mouthful of carob, agave and hemp seed.

“It’s a good thing I get good grades,” I said.

“I worry about that a little with your smoking, you know,” Kaylin said, though nobody had asked her. “You’re so smart. Do you feel like pot impacts your studying? I know the times I’ve gotten high I haven’t felt very…” she gesticulated primly. “Together.” Kaylin is the kind of person who wears gray linen and tidy Banana Republic ensembles to the beach. I doubt she has ever been untogether.

“I have a 3.95,” I said. “As of now. And I do theater and used to do jazz band and I helped plan Gay Pride last year and was the only person under 18 on the task force. Frankly, I was the only person under 30. And I plan workshops on gay rights for nonprofits and do sex ed and canvas for local Democratic candidates and volunteered at the food bank for two years. I think I’m okay.” I filled a glass of water at the sink and drank it. “Speaking of, though, I have to do some homework before bed. I gotta go work on some chemistry. See you in the morning.”

“Nobody’s saying you’re doing bad, sport,” my dad said in that weird dry tone he has.

“Sure,” I said. “I know. Just practicing my shpiel.”

“See you,” Kaylin said brightly. “Remember, crepes!"

“Goodnight, kiddo,” my dad said. He replaced the carob Tupperware in the pantry and came over to me for a hug. I reciprocated awkwardly. “Love you.”

“Love you,” I said, leaving the room with my weed duffel.

I don’t love my dad anymore—not since I was about thirteen, and came out, and he freaked out more than I expected and said a bunch of totally ugly shit and then kicked me out of the house to live with just Mom for a year while he “figured out what he was feeling” about my gender. He says he has figured out what he’s feeling and I know he read at least one of the articles my mom sends him, because he doesn’t say ugly shit any more and signed off on my top surgery with my mom, but he is still an emotionally incompetent moron who only cares about material success and shiny titanium kitchenware and gardening and like, Bjork. He has done nothing to repair our parent-child relationship. I resent him for things I would not resent a normal man for, like wearing a T-shirt for The Shins or eating carob cubes.

Upstairs, I locked the door to my room and turned on the lava lamp my dad bought me when I was eleven. It’s orange and red and I still think it’s sick as hell. Between the lava lamp and the pink rock salt lamp Kaylin gave me for my birthday this year, my room at my dad’s house practically radiates the color pink. It’s good that it has such a comfortable glow, because besides the lighting situation it’s intensely impersonal. Just a big bed and a blank Ikea desk with some pens on it and a dresser filled with clothes I don’t actively hate but don’t like enough to keep at Mom’s. No books, no personal effects. It’s a guest bedroom. I don’t actually belong in my dad’s house.

I could have used my vape to do my pre-chemistry smoke, since it’s less smelly, but the carob eating had annoyed me and I felt like reminding Kaylin and my father that I hated them in a subtle way, so I toked up and just opened the window into the September night. Most of the smoke left the room, so the fire alarm wouldn’t go off, but the funk would linger a while. I imagined Kaylin burning sage or nag champa incense or spritzing natural essential-oil cedar-scented air freshener when I left.

It was early enough in the year that the stuff I had to do for my AP chem class was pretty limited, just ten problems, but I hadn’t been lying about the homework. When I finally got to bed it was past midnight. I had forgotten to check my phone for three hours. I had a text from Ian and another from Opal.

Ian’s text read:

Should I break up with closet case? At the end of my damn rope.

Opal’s text read:

Just had a WEIRD convo with the trans man my roommate is fucking. He’s like a social work dude and he’s in law school. He said he’s maybe applying for the executive director position for Compton???? Because apparently NATALIE IS LEAVING??????? LIKE TO MOVE TO PHILADELPHIA?? DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS??

#writing #YA #trans #writers on tumblr #long post/#long post

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