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clairelsonao3 · 1 year ago

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Top 10 Character Essence

It's tag game time again!

@tabswrites and @hollyannewrites challenged (and I do mean challenged) me to name my top ten characters "decided by their essence or meaning to you."

A challenge to give your Top 10 favourite characters, based on their ESSENCE. They have to be favourite characters that also have a deeper literary value, where you enjoy their specific role in the story, and this means that the list also should exclude characters that would normally count as favourites if for purely nostalgic reasons. They can be from film, tv, or written media, anything.

Thank you! I hope I fulfilled the challenge the way it was meant to be fulfilled!

Although TBH, I can't believe I'm even attempting to tackle this. I have to choose only 10? I think it goes without saying this list is not exhaustive, nor does it represent all of my favorite books/movies/media. I really did try to capture the question by focusing on "essence and meaning" (including how they've influenced my own writing and not just "random characters I like." I also have to attempt not to write an essay for each because we don't want to be here all night.

Charlotte Doyle (The True Confessions of Charlotte Doyle by Avi) Rich girl in the early 1800s gets on a ship with a mutinous crew and an evil captain, joins the crew, defeats the captain using only her wits, miraculously makes it home, AND THEN DECIDES TO GO BACK TO SEA AND BECOME A SAILOR. I read this all in one sitting one night when I was about 15 (after avoiding it because I thought it looked boring) and then literally decided to reshape my entire life based on it (I'm not kidding). Yes, I actually took up sailing. Also, there's a hot sailor that she obviously has chemistry with but it's left unresolved, and no one has ever written a future fic about it to my knowledge, and that's a CRIME. So yeah, step right up.

John Bender (The Breakfast Club) He's not just the original '80s bad boy with a Dark and Troubled Past, but what most people forget about him is that he's also hilarious. It's a rare combination. Honorary mention to his love interest, Claire, and not just because of her name.

Fantine (Les Miserables by Victor Hugo) - Mostly the book version of her, though she obviously has a showstopping number in the musical as well. She was the sad, angsty character I needed during the most sad, angsty period of my life. She was a poor, lonely urchin who found fleeting love and happiness in the spring, got abandoned and pregnant in the winter -- and it only got worse from there. Also, apropos of nothing, at one point, I wrote a short story featuring a dog by the same name -- who, um, died.

The Artful Dodger/Dodger (Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens/Oliver & Company) - I'm including both the human version and the dog version of this character because I love them both (though I actually prefer the Disney movie, lol). They're both thieves with devil-may-care attitudes, with soft spots for those more vulnerable than themselves. Plus, the dog version is Billy Joel, wears sunglasses, and plays piano with his tail, which -- I don't care what anyone says -- will never not be cool.

Satine (Moulin Rouge) - She was the beautiful, sparkling, singing, dancing tragic sex goddess I so badly wanted to be. So much so that as recently as five years ago when I reluctantly dressed up for a Halloween party, I chose her silver-dress-and-top-hat ensemble.

Rick Blaine (Casablanca) The most endlessly quotable character from one of the most endlessly quotable and romantic movies of all time. He sticks his neck out for no one. Except, oops, wait, he does. The OG Hollywood antihero with a Dark and Troubled -- whatever, you know the drill. Plus, he's also my dad's favorite character in his favorite movie (and I discovered it because of him), and so this pick has sentimental meaning for me.

Leah Price (The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver) - When we read this book in high school, she was the least popular character, probably due to her unwavering love and support for her dad, even though he was a singular-focused religious zealot who destroyed his entire family by dragging them into the African jungle in an ill-thought-out missionary trip. And then she married a guy with some of the same qualities (but he was better, thankfully). But for whatever weird reason, I related to her most. Anyway, for class, I wrote and tried to perform a monologue where I played her but forgot 90 percent of my lines. Oh well.

Mary Lennox (The Secret Garden by France Hodgson Burnett, I found the movie version fairly meh) There were a lot of spunky, iconic childhood book heroines to choose from, but she was Mary, Mary Quite Contrary, and so I choose her. (I got told to "smile" a lot as a kid). Also, as I mentioned in a previous post, I was a Mary/Dickon shipper before I even knew what shipping meant.

Neal Caffrey (White Collar) - Does anyone remember this show? I have no attention span for TV, and this is probably the last scripted show I remember watching every episode of during its original run, which is saying something. Everything I know about being a con artist (in fiction, lol) I learned from this charming, charismatic art-forger-turned-FBI-consultant. I think he also has the honor of being the subject of the first actual fanfic I ever wrote.

Iris Chase Griffin (The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood) I also had to pick one character of my favorite author, so Iris gets the crown. She starts off the story as an old lady looking back to when she was forced to marry some rich asshole instead of the science fiction writer (with a past that was -- wait for it -- Dark and Troubled) who BOTH she and her sister loved, and meanwhile, her sister became a writer and when she died it was discovered that -- oh, just read the goddamn book, I won't spoil it for you here.

Honorable mentions, in no particular order:

Violet Westing (The Westing Game by Ellen Raskin)

Jack Kelly (Newsies the movie, NOT the stage musical)

Turonga Leela (Futurama)

Vicky Austin (The Austins by Madeleine L'Engle)

Jack Dawson and Rose Dewitt-Bukater (Titanic) I can't decide between them, so they're getting an HM.

Palaestrio and Milphidippa (Miles Gloriosus by Plautus) Same as above.

Michael Furey (The Dead by James Joyce) Who is, in fact, dead throughout the story -- but being alive wasn't one of the requirements.

I wish I could include a Star Wars character, but could never decide, so let's say, oh, all of them, except that one you hate.

In case the following people want to do what I did and spend several WEEKS on this fascinating but life-ruining (in a good way) tag game: @mysticstarlightduck @enne-uni @kixngiggles @obviousknife + OPEN TAG because you don't even have to be a writer for this one, so I'd be interested in hearing from anybody who wants to chime in!

#tag game #top 10 character essence #characters #writeblr #writeblr tag games

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fruitcoops · 4 years ago

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Eve, I LOVE binging your masterlist. I was wondering if I could request a short lil story where someone reminds Jules that since Remus + Sirius got married, then Sirius and Reg are his brothers now too and Jules gets really excited about having TWO more older brothers after Coops' wedding? If not, totally fine!! Have a great year!!

Part 2 of the Coops Wedding series! It’s finally here after my computer was possessed and deleted the first version--this one is just over 4k words, so I hope that makes up for the delay! Sweater Weather credit goes to @lumosinlove <3

Preparations II Part 1

Remus had never been much of a dancer—despite his speed on the ice, he had two left feet and only the barest hint of rhythm. However, dancing at his wedding was a different story.

Sirius twirled him in a small circle, smiling from ear-to-ear as their friends and family spun around them to the beat blasting through the speakers. They still had three hours until sunset, and Remus was planning on spending every second of it with Sirius’ hand in his own. He pulled him in for another kiss—our tenth today? Twentieth? One hundredth? Who cares—and pulled away with a laugh as Jules and Katie bumped into the backs of his thighs.

“Watch it!” he called, ruffling Jules’ hair as they passed in a dramatic tango. Katie shrieked with giggles as Dumo swept her into his arms, spinning her around with a broad smile. Hope took Jules’ hands while Phil Collins began to sing about love, happiness, and everything Remus was already holding in his arms.

“Hey!” Sirius said over the music, giving Remus a squeeze.

“What?”

“I love you!”

“I hope so!” Remus laughed, spinning Sirius under his arm before reeling him in to bump their noses. “Not bad for a wedding we planned in six weeks, eh?”

Sirius shook his head, grinning. “We were engaged for ten months. How did we put that off for so long?”

“Because we’re busy all the fucking time.”

“We’re not going to be busy for three whole months,” Sirius said giddily as he picked Remus up a few inches with ease. He paused for a moment, scanning his face as if he was trying to memorize it.

“What’re you thinking about?” The were close enough that Remus hardly had to raise his voice above a murmur.

“We get to do this every day for the rest of our lives.”

His words hit Remus like a semitruck of affection and tears prickled his eyes as he leaned down for a kiss; Sirius set him down to kiss him properly, hands gently bracketing his jaw. “You are the most incredible person,” Remus said against his lips. “How the hell did I get so lucky?”

“I could ask you the same.” Sirius smiled and rested their foreheads together. “Come on, I think Celeste wants to cut the cake soon.”

Remus looked over at the folding table on the other side of the dance floor and stifled a laugh; Celeste, in her pretty blue party dress, was adjusting the cake by millimeters and glanced at her watch every few seconds, as if she was afraid people were going to leave. “I’m dying to know what she eventually decided on for the flavors.”

Sirius hummed his agreement and pulled Remus along by the hand—they didn’t even have to say anything before the rest of the small crowd followed them and gathered around the table. “Wait, wait, wait!” Celeste gasped, taking her phone out of Dumo’s pocket. After a few seconds of quiet, she nodded and centered it on them. “D’accord.”

“Ready?” Remus set his hand on top of Sirius’ and the hilt of the knife, pushing slowly down as it cut through the white frosting in a smooth glide. It was perfectly baked; not a single crumb stuck to the blade as they pulled it out.

“Here we go,” Sirius muttered as they took the first piece out. “Vanilla!”

“Orange, actually,” Celeste said, beaming. “The next layer is chocolate.”

“Celeste.” Remus gave her a tight hug before passing her along to Sirius, who bent down so she could kiss his cheek.

“Merci, maman,” he said quietly. “C’est parfait.”

“Surprise!” She did little jazz hands before handing them two forks from the end of the table. “Oh, this is so exciting. You have to try it, I don’t know if it’s good. I’ve never made an orange cake before.”

“Hurry up, Cap, we’re hungry!” Logan called from the back of the crowd. Sirius pulled a face at him and carefully slid the piece onto a paper plate before linking his elbow with Remus’.

Remus took a forkful of the cake and held it to Sirius’ mouth—just as he went to eat it, Remus scooted it to the side. “Ope, a little to the left, love.”

“Remus.”

“Oh, you almost had it! Not quite that far.” He could hear Jules giggling and grinned, moving it two inches to the right as Sirius tried to get it a third time.

“Remus!”

“What? It’s not my fault you can’t catch a fork!”

Sirius finally grabbed his elbow and held it in place to get the cake into his mouth, narrowing his eyes at Remus. “Only you would be mean to me on our wedding day.”

“I’m not being mean.” Remus kissed his nose. “Just keeping things interesting.”

“Yeah, yeah, alright.” Sirius got his own bit of cake and held it up. “Close your eyes, sweetheart.”

The second his eyes shut he regretted his decision, but before he could shout a full paper plate of cake smacked into his face with a splat. Everyone gasped, then burst out laughing as the plate fell back down onto the table. Remus slowly wiped frosting from his eyes, flicking it down onto the grass. “That was mean.”

“That was payback,” Sirius corrected.

“See, I would believe you, except I know you’ve been planning to do that for at least three days.”

“Honestly, I’m surprised you didn’t do it first,”

“C’mere, you.” Remus reached half-blindly for his tie, pulling him in for a sugary kiss and feeling around with his other hand for the plate. He pulled away and, before Sirius could open his eyes, smushed the leftover cake right onto his forehead.

Sirius licked his lips. “Celeste, the cake is fantastic. Do you think it’ll moisturize?”

She was laughing too hard to respond, but she blew him a kiss in between drying her eyes. Remus took a napkin of his own and wiped his face off, licking as much of it off his hands as he could. “Oh, please don’t wait for us to clean up,” he said, motioning the still-laughing crowd forward. “We’ll be here for a while.”

“Whose fault is that?” Sirius teased.

“Yours!”

They ended up ducking into the kitchen to wash up while Dumo and Celeste passed out slices of cake. “I hope there will be some left over for us,” Sirius said as Remus washed the crumbly frosting from his hair. “From the little I got, it was amazing.”

“Yeah, she nailed the orange flavor.” Remus leaned on the front of the sink, watching people mill around or return to the dance floor for one more song before enjoying their cake. The buzz of their mingled voices dripped with joy and he smiled to himself, soaking in the feeling of his family’s happiness.

Warm arms encircled his waist as Sirius’ chin rested on his shoulder. They said nothing and waited in utter silence until Remus laced their fingers together and headed back out into the summer sunshine.

----------------------------

An hour later, a dozen mismatched plates of food laid decimated on the folding table with a quarter of a wedding cake left as James headed toward the dance floor alone, clutching a piece of paper. He stopped just in front of Remus and Sirius’ table and winked at them.

“Hey, everyone. If you don’t know me, which I find difficult to believe for a number of reasons, I’m James Potter, the groom’s best friend. Yes, both of them.” He paused for a moment to let the laughter roll through. “However, I didn’t want a fight to break out over who got to have me as their best man—”

“There was no fight,” Remus corrected with a grin. “The loser got you, Pots.”

“And a lucky loser he is,” James shot back playfully before clearing his throat. “I met Sirius Black six and a half years ago, when he was eighteen and awkward. We were both awkward, actually, but he had this uncanny ability to make it look cool while I tripped over my own feet.

“The minute I met Sirius, I knew we were going to be friends. He was quiet, a little shy, and didn’t really know how talk to people. In that way, we were exactly alike.” The laughter was even louder that time and Sirius shook his head. “Ah, who am I kidding. I adopted Sirius as my best friend because I thought it would be hilarious to corrupt him.”

James glanced down at Sirius with a smile. “While I attempted to make an extrovert out of him, I learned several important things: number one, he is the least extroverted person I’ve ever met. Two, he is one of the kindest, funniest people on the planet. And three, my life had been severely lacking without him in it.”

A soft ‘aww’ washed over the group and Remus ran his thumb over Sirius’ knuckles.

James looked back at the other tables as he continued. “Sirius Black is known to most of the world as one of the best hockey players of our time. To me, he’s the dorky little brother I never had, and I am so, so proud of him. I’ve had the privilege of watching him open up, not only to me, but to everyone else on the team that he loves with that big soft heart. When my son was born—you all know my son, right? I think I have a picture here somewhere—”

“No!” half the group shouted as James grinned.

“Just making sure you’re still awake. Anyway, when my son was born, naming Sirius godfather was literally the easiest thing I’ve ever done. I kinda sat back went ‘hmm, who is the first person I can think of to entrust with my child’s life?’ and the only natural decision was the one who is terrified of children.”

“Terrified is a bit of a strong word,” Sirius complained, though his eyes were shining.

“My bad, you’re petrified by children,” James corrected. “But in all seriousness—sorry, couldn’t resist—in all seriousness, I couldn’t think of anyone better suited to the job. I think that tells you everything you need to know about Sirius, actually. Even when he’s scared to death, he goes out of his way to help people when they need it.

“Sirius, however happy you are right now—and you’re basically glowing—I need you to know that it’s one tenth of how happy you have made the people you love.” James’ voice got a little tight and Sirius took an unsteady breath. “You are a natural leader and a great hockey player, but most importantly, you are an outstanding friend. You deserve every good thing coming your way, today and for the rest of your life. As your best man and your best friend, I’ll be there whenever you call.”

Sirius sniffled as James wiped his cheeks dry and turned to Remus. “Loops, take care of my little brother, alright?”

“You got it, Pots,” Remus said, barely above a whisper.

James nodded, then raised his glass of champagne. “To Sirius and Remus, and all the happiness they deserve.”

A loud cry of “cheers!” went up, followed by thunderous applause as Sirius got up and wrapped James in a full-body hug, nearly knocking them both over. They separated after a moment and James stood on his toes to kiss the top of Sirius’ head before they went back to their respective places.

“You okay?” Remus murmured, linking their hands together again.

“Fuck, I knew he was going to make me cry.” Sirius shook his head with a smile and sniffled once again. “Yeah, I’m alright.”

Lily raised an eyebrow as she stood James’ place. “Y’know, Re, I seem to recall you promising me a microphone if I did this.”

“Sorry to disappoint!” Remus called back, feeling a flutter of nerves in his stomach. Lily had refused to share any of her speech with him; when he tried to sneakily grab it once, she shoved it down her shirt and glared until he left the room.

“I’ll get over it.” She rubbed her fingers along the edge of her paper and sighed. “I’ve written and rewritten this speech about a dozen times since Re asked me to do it, but just being here—” She took a moment and blinked back tears. “It’s different. Just ignore me if I cry, okay?

Lily cleared her throat and turned back to the paper. “I met Remus Lupin six and a half years ago, on the same day James met Sirius for the first time. Personally, I think we should make that day a national holiday, since it irrevocably changed the course of both our lives. James found his best friend and little brother, and I found my Remus.

“One of the first things you will notice when you meet Remus is that he is friend shaped.” Several murmurs of agreement rippled through the crowd and Lily winked at Remus as he flushed pink. “Told you so. Honestly, Remus is one of those people who just exudes kindness. When I found out I was pregnant, he was the first person I told besides James. I knew Remus would not only keep my secret, but also be there in whatever capacity I needed because he cares. Truly, madly, deeply.”

Lily looked over to them with a soft, fond expression that made Remus’ stomach twist into knots. “In Sirius’ vows, he said you were sunshine through dark clouds, which is quite possibly my favorite descriptor of all time. It’s really sappy and cute, for one thing, but also true. Re, you bring light and warmth wherever you go. As someone who has been on the receiving end of that light, I can tell you that it is absolutely overwhelming in the best way. There are few places I feel safer than around you.

“And now we’re here, where you just married the love of your life.” The first tear slid down Lily’s cheek, dipping into her dimple as Remus’ own tracked down his chin. “God, Re, this is incredible. You two get to be together for the rest of your lives, and the rest of us have the best seat in the house to one of the greatest love stories of this century! I mean, c’mon, how many people can say they’ve made it through everything you did?”

Lily sniffled and raised her glass, though she maintained eye contact with him the whole time. “To Remus and Sirius, who remind us all what it looks like to be in love, even when the whole world tries to stand against you.”

A second ‘cheers’ began, but Remus was already on his feet and crashing into Lily, pulling her close as she clutched the back of his suit jacket. “I love you, Lils,” he choked out. “That was fucking incredible.”

“Love you too, Re.” She pulled back and carefully smudged her hands under her eyes to keep her makeup intact. “Ugh, sorry if I ruined your jacket with the waterworks.”

“You’re in good company.” She kissed each of his cheeks and fluffed the front of his hair up, making them both laugh as she took her seat again and Remus moved past his table with a last look to Sirius.

His mother’s eyes grew shiny with unshed tears as he held his hand out and guided her to the dance floor, where they swayed back and forth as Here Comes the Sun started to play, gentle and smooth. “Oh, you,” Hope managed as the lyrics began and Remus twirled her slowly. “I bet your father’s crying even though he’s not dancing.”

Remus glanced over to their table—as always, she was right. “He is. God, you’re good.”

“That’s what happens when you’ve been married for twenty-seven years,” she said, eyes crinkling. “Someday, that’s going to be you.”

He huffed softly. Don’t cry on mom, don’t cry on mom, don’t cry on mom. “You can’t just say stuff like that. It’s like kicking me while I’m down!”

“Little darlin’, it seems like years since it’s been clear,” she sang with a grin, tapping his nose. “Here comes the sun, dodododo, here comes the sun, and I say…”

“It’s all right,” Remus finished under his breath. The dance was over in an instant and after a thousand years at the same time—all too soon, people were clapping as they made their way back to the tables and Sirius walked over to Celeste.

She covered her mouth with her hands as he offered an arm, then nodded and accompanied him to the dance floor. He whispered something and she laughed, looping her arms around his neck with a bit of a stretch as a French song Remus had never heard came through the speakers and softened their smiles.

They talked quietly as they danced; Celeste was as elegant as ever and Sirius could be quite graceful when he put his mind to it. She traced his cheekbones with her thumbs and he closed his eyes, looking utterly at peace. Remus’ heartstrings tugged at the sight and he rested his chin on his hand, letting the waltz roll over him.

More applause followed their dance as Celeste held him in a tight embrace until a more upbeat song began and couples mobbed the dance floor. Sirius downed half his water in one gulp before sitting down with a heavy sigh, and dropped his forehead onto Remus’ shoulder. “You looked good out there,” Remus said, running a hand through his hair.

“So did you. I can’t feel my feet anymore.”

“I think we’re supposed to dance at our wedding.”

“I’m so hungry.”

Remus groaned; between the endless congratulations and conversations after the ceremony, they had no time to enjoy the assorted dishes people brought. “Same. We should go somewhere after this.”

“Other than home?”

“Home…” Remus trailed his lips to Sirius’ ear. “Is for other plans. Food happens elsewhere.”

“Good plan,” Sirius said, a little breathless as he sat back up and stood with a stretch. “Come on, sweetheart, the dance floor awaits.”

---------------------------

Thirty minutes after the sun set and Adele’s perfect fairy lights lit up the backyard, the party finally started winding down. Finn had fallen asleep with his head on Leo’s shoulder about ten minutes prior, but nobody had the heart to wake him; as the best dancer of the group, he had been a hot commodity for anyone looking to show off in addition to whirling both his boyfriends around.

Jules stumbled over to Remus and curled up in his lap without warning, snuggling his face into his chest with a jaw-cracking yawn. Regulus came up behind them a moment later, resting his hands on Sirius’ shoulders and scaring the daylights out of him. “Jesus f—frick, Reg!” he yelped, holding a hand over his heart.

“Sorry.” He didn’t look very apologetic as he turned to Remus. “Jules has been asking for you.”

“Oh, yeah?” Remus looked down and brushed the soft bangs from his eyes. “What’s up, buddy?”

“I love you,” Jules mumbled. “You got married. That’s so cool.”

Remus smiled. “It really is. Thanks for being the ring-bearer, by the way. You did a great job.”

Jules made a muffled noise before wrapping his arms around Remus’ waist with a sigh. “Mmkay. G’night.”

“You can’t fall asleep yet!” Remus tickled his side lightly. “We’re almost done, I promise.”

“What time is it?” Jules cracked an eye open and fumbled for his wrist, turning Remus’ hand over to check. “It’s not even ten! Why am I tired?”

“You’ve had a busy day. Do you know where mom and dad are?”

“Still talking.”

Remus surveyed the crowd and quickly spotted them next to the cubs, sipping water and sharing a piece of cake. He stood carefully, making sure Jules was steady on his hip before heading toward the table with Sirius and Regulus in tow. “We’ve got a tired munchkin,” he whispered when they arrived, depositing Jules into the chair next to his mother; within moments, Jules laid his head on the table.

“Love you, Re,” he said as he tucked his arms under his head. “Best big brother.”

“Best of all three?” Logan gasped in mock-surprise.

“Three?” Jules sat up straight and gave him a confused look. It was made extra adorable by the crooked cowlick decorating the whole right side of his head. “I only have one.”

“Now that Remus and Sirius are married, you’ve got two more big brothers,” Logan reminded him. “Regulus and Sirius count.”

“That’s crazy,” Jules yawned, cocking his head at the brothers. “Re is still my favorite, but you’re awesome and I love you, too.”

Regulus made a soft sound and Sirius kissed the top of Jules’ head. “Don’t tell anyone, but you’re my favorite Lupin,” he stage-whispered, laughing as Remus rolled his eyes.

Jules frowned. “You married one of us, and it sure wasn’t me.”

“Alright, second favorite,” Sirius conceded with a grin as the rest of the table laughed.

“Mama, I’m tired.” Jules traced the bead patterns on Hope’s dress.

“Okay, lovey, we can go home soon.” She raised an eyebrow at Remus and he nodded. “Do you want to say some goodbyes first?”

“We’ll see everyone tomorrow. ‘s okay.”

Lyall gathered Jules into his arms, then turned to Remus and pulled him close with a kiss to his forehead. “So proud of you, kiddo.” He looked over at Sirius for a moment. “Take good care of him, eh?”

“Sir, yes sir.” Sirius pressed a kiss to Remus’ temple as they separated, then moved aside for Hope.

She scanned his face for a moment, then touched their foreheads together. “Good luck, baby. Not that you need it, but you deserve it anyway.”

Remus pulled them both back in for a family hug, feeling Jules drape a drowsy arm around the back of his neck. “Thank you so much for being here. It means—it means everything to me.”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Lyall whispered. “Now go, you two haven’t eaten anything tonight.”

“Thank you,” both of them breathed at the same time, sending the whole group into a fit of laughter.

They said a few more ‘thank you’s and goodbyes until the other Lions started a loud, incoherent cheer and all but chased them toward Sirius’ car, where a small ‘Just Married’ sign had been stuck on the back window. They were planning on keeping the wedding a secret from the media as long as they could—the reaction would be even more hilarious the longer they waited.

“What if—” Remus broke off into snickering as they pulled out of the Dumais’ driveway. “What if nobody notices?”

“What? That we’re married?” Sirius gave him a disbelieving look. “People are going to figure it out so fast, no matter how many times Pots changes the subject.”

Remus hummed and rested his hand on Sirius’ thigh as he drove, tapping along to the rhythm of the radio; the route was familiar to them both, even after the chaos of the day. A slow, unstoppable smile made his cheeks hurt. “We got married.”

“Damn right, we did.”

“Scuse me for a moment.” Remus rolled down his window and cleared his throat, then leaned out and whooped loud enough that people in the next state would probably be able to hear it. He calmly closed it once more, fighting down a smile. “Sorry, I just had to get that out.”

Sirius slowed and rolled his own window down, sticking his head out into the empty night air. “I got married!” he shouted at the top of his lungs with a wild grin. “I have a husband now! Just thought you should know!”

“Husband,” Remus mused as the car started moving again. “Hmm. I like the sound of that.”

“Me, too.”

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pristinepastel · 3 years ago

Text

Obey Me MC Information Sheet - Penemue

Personal - Basics

[Name] Pristine(seasons 1+2), Penemue(season 3+), Pen(nickname)

[Race/Species] Human(seasons 1+2), Newly Formed Demon(season 3+).

Demon [X] Angel [] Human [X]

[Age] 23.

[Birthday] 2-22.

[Height] 162.56 cm (5’4”).

[Fingernail Polish/Colors] Black, Middle and Pinky Fingernails are purple.

[Hair Color/Description] Lavender hair, shaved sides and back, short and fluffy on top. Bangs part to the right.

Personal - In-Depth

[Gender or no | Pronoun(s)] Gender Neutral | they/them.

[Sexual/Romantic Attraction or lack there-of] Asexual, Aromantic.

[Occupation Before Devildom Life] Freelance Artist, University Student.

[Favorite Color(s)] Any shade of purple.

[Personality]

MBTI: INFP/ISFP

Ennagram: 4

Zodiac: Pisces

Personal - Other

[Likes] Sushi, The Twins, Hugs, Drawing, Their cat Betty.

[Dislikes] Food with Bad Textures(dry/burnt eggs, casseroles, etc), Jumpscares, Arguments, Cruelty, Yelling, Their Chronic Joint/Back Pain.

[Positive Traits] Tries to help out how they can, Unobtrusive, A good listener when you need to vent.

[Negative Traits] They try not to bother people when they’re having issues, Easily startled, Sometimes over emotional, Anxious, Can’t discern teasing from genuine insults, Rejection Sensitive Dysmorphic.

Relationships

[With Demons]

Lucifer - Looks up to him. Worries he overworks too often. Tries not to make trouble for him, and to avoid being a burden.

Mammon - First friend in the Devildom! Sees him as their older brother who they can go to for help.

Leviathan - Second friend in the Devildom, also an older brother figure. Likes going to cons with him, even if its for a different fandom/interest than they’re into.

Satan - Reliable brother figure. He helps teach them how to study, good person to go to when they need a break from life in general. Fellow cat lover.

Asmodeus - Bubbly friend! When they need a self esteem boost they go to him, cus he gives combination cuddles and pep talk. Doesn’t really connect with all his sexual interests, but can keep up and laugh at his innuendos. They usually need to take a break from social interaction afterwards, though.

Beelzebub - Favorite brother number one! Best one to go to for general cuddles cus he’s a lot bigger and stronger than them, and that makes them feel safe. Plus hes super kind and gentle, hes the only one who’s never spooked them.

Belphegor - Favorite brother number two! Ok so they were definitely scared of him for a while after the Incident, but they were able to talk themselves through why they were scared and how to move on, so they’re not afraid of him anymore. Best brother to nap with, since even if they aren’t in the mood to cuddle, they can still have him nearby so they aren’t lonely.

Diavolo - He’s super nice! Good friend. Tbh they don’t really remember he’s royal and in charge most of the time. Second best person at pep talks after Asmo. Good for advice on emotional stuff, not so much for practical issues…

Barbatos - Nice and polite friend. Good person to go to for companionable and peaceful silence.

[With Angels]

Simeon - Good friend. Very silly sometimes.

Luke - Little brother! They try to avoid teasing him accidentally.

Michael - They’re terrified of him, and not in a funny way. Especially after they became a demon, when the angel event happened. It felt like he was trying to force the brothers back into heaven, and Pen would be left behind and alone forever.

[With Humans]

Solomon - He’s funny and weird. Good friend, but he confuses them sometimes because they’re not good at interpreting subtext.

Favorite Things About the Devildom

[Favorite Job(s)] Royal Library, Mausoleum

[Favorite Place(s) to Hang Out] Attic Room, Their Room, Twins Room, Lillith’s Room

[Favorite Food(s)] Human World Sushi, Bufo-Egg Milk Tea, Sun and Moon Cookies, Shadow Hog Ramen

[Favorite Class Subject(s)] Demon Language, Art, Spells Curses & Hexes

[Favorite Devildom Version of Something in the Human World] All the various alternatives to Human fandoms/media. Its fun for them to try and connect which devildom series is related to each one they’re used to. Also the series titles are hilarious.

Least Favorite Things About the Devildom

[Least Favorite Job(s)] Majolish, Akuzon, Ristorante Six(they once worked as a cashier in a human world gas station. never again going into retail)

[Least Favorite Area(s)] The Labyrinth, The Catacombs(its fucking freezing;;)

[Least Favorite Food(s)] Unidentified Matter(sorry Sol, you’re on your own), Most Sweets(gives any to Beel), any kinds of Apple(sensitive teeth, cant bite into them)

[Least Favorite Class Subject(s)] Seductive Speechcraft, Sports, Devildom Law

[Least Favorite Devildom Version of Something in the Human World] Much of the sports make no sense and are even more strenuous than the human versions already were;;

[Least Favorite Part of Devildom Life] People can be very rude and intentionally scare them. Of course thats not much different than in the Human world, but down here its much more likely they’ll try to eat and/or torture them.

Personality Chart

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me mc #art reference #pristine did a create #pristine did a art #Penemue #long post

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welcometomy20s · 3 years ago

Text

June 30, 2021

Coco (and Lulu’s) Legacy

Coco wrote the book on how to be a Hololive member, from front to back. She plotted out how one can amass an audience, how to interact and build a worldwide fandom, how to integrate ideas of the audience to the grand narrative of the company, how to deal with tee-tee and pairings, how to cope when YouTube strikes you down in its impunity, and how to cope when Cancel Brigade comes to destroy your work, along with how to bring a more cohesive workplace, how to protect yourself from the unmooring of identity that is inherent in VTube, and finally how to leave when you are in a rollercoaster that is only going up. Coco wrote the book and now we follow.

AsaCoco was brilliant from its outset. Having a place to know the ins and outs of various members of Hololive was a great way to connect the rabbit hole. But there is a deeper reason for the brilliance. I talked before about how the major tension in VTube is one between the corporate back-end tradition of Japan colliding with the audience front-end tradition of YouTube. AsaCoco is something directly in line with that second tradition. The visual language of YouTube is different from those of movies. A jump cut in a movie denotes a different idea than a jump cut on YouTube. Movie critic complaining about jump cuts in vlogs is like a Spanish reader complaining about a sentence in English being awkward. Of course it is, it’s in a different language. Unlike movies, which come from theatre and literature, vlogs’ lineage comes from news broadcasts. Many of the early web successes were styled in a news format (rocketboom, Ze Frank, What the Buck and so on…) One does not complain about the jump cut between different presenters in a newscast, and so one does not complain when a similar thing happens in vlogs. But the point is that AsaCoco harkens to the audience-based tradition.

One might write off the ARK arc as an aberration, but I think ARK did add something constructive to Hololive and VTubers as a whole. I like to think of ARK as a training wheel for Minecraft. Minecraft is relatively challenging compared to ARK. Minecraft speedruns are mildly impressive, ARK speedrun less so. ARK is actually like the middle ground between Monster Hunter and Minecraft. You can play ARK like Monster Hunter, gather a bunch of friends to hunt monsters, or like Minecraft, build your own zoo or house or so on… And in that flexibility, one can easily learn how to tell a compelling narrative in an open-world setting. Pekora’s war criminal tendencies developed there, Miko’s ‘pon’ nature was crystalized there, and so on…

Holohouse was an underrated achievement. At first, the idea feels like the natural extension of their idol nature. Idols live together, so why not virtual idols? But having virtual idols living together comes with additional benefits that Nijisanji should note.

Stalking is an awful thing, I know since I experienced and have done something similar in my past, but stalking is also a desperate thing. And desperation tends to abate when people are more open about themselves. One of the articles talking about Coco’s graduation infamously notes the mystery of Coco’s identity, which is chucklesome since Coco’s identity might be the most open secret in all of Hololive. This was in line with Hololive’s more open policy, several of Hololive members do their own personal work on the side, while in many early companies, this was forbidden. Nijisanji’s background is less open than Hololive, perhaps due to the number and less mass attention, and that leads to stalking being a more adventurous one. One that livers have to deal with more alone, while for Hololive, it’s likely people would catch and perhaps even tar the perpetrator. More attention means more risk with less excitement.

Holohouse also protects aggressive fan behavior by introducing VTuber solidarity. With more offline collabs, the people would know each other more personally and therefore have a ground of contacts in which to alert suspicious behavior. Safety in numbers.

Holohouse also brought us KanaCoco, which was a lesser known pairing until the couple ring story, and now it has become one of three big couples of Hololive, the other two being NoeFlare and OkaKoro. The big three all have a different style of their tee tee. KanaCoco is the type of a longtime buddy. Both Kanata and Coco struggled with familial and economic circumstances, and they are both struggling under the same roof. And within that struggle comes comity and friendship. It’s not love in your typical sense, but it is a type that would lead to marriage and childrens… but the current LBGTQ+ status in Japan is pretty bad, so tee tee and hush hush it is.

In a sense, KanaCoco provides for an excellent cover. It is one of the most inspiring portrayals of woman-woman friendships in media and it would be one of the more enduring aspect of Coco’s legacy as it passes down through the generations.

[Note: This somehow became an apologia of the past week. Well, I do like to show my thinking with my behavior, perhaps to my detriment, so… just be warned.]

For the past week, I was hyping about the fact that Gura passed Kizuna Ai to become the most-subscribed VTuber. And I made the point, not through immaturity, but because I realized this coincided with Coco’s graduation. Without Coco, there wouldn’t be Hololive English, or Gawr Gura, and therefore this event would not have happened. This, therefore, was one of the last great accomplishments of Coco. An indelible mark of her foresight and perseverance. A realization of her plans. So, in a sense, this was one of my ways of celebrating Coco’s career, albeit in an admittedly twisted way.

But beyond Hololive English, there was the famous Meme Review, which has a weak lineage with the early meme review series from PewDiePie. Now for the digression, whoever ends up at the top gives us a flavor for that specific era, since one naturally assumes success means finesse and would try to emulate the style. Vlogbrother’s visual style and mannerism was largely lifted from Ze Frank. PBS Idea Channel famously emulated Ray William Johnson’s background to his own ends. And Kizuna Ai was famously inspired by PewDiePie at several points in her career. Which is why PewDiePie’s Congratulations felt right as a tribute. One of the big shared characteristics of the two was the lonely years at the top. PewDiePie is probably going to be longest reigning ‘King’ of YouTube for a while (of course, depends on if Cocomelon catches T-Series in due time) and at the time his reign was abnormally long. Most people hold onto the top spot for a year or two, so it felt odd that PewDiePie was untouchable for so long. Similar things must have been raised for Kizuna Ai as well. Many people must have felt that Kizuna Ai just did not represent VTubers at the current time.

So, when competition showed up, of course people were excited. It felt like it was time. I believe PewDiePie’s Congratulations was not a simple diss track, although it’s formatted like one, just due to the culture at the time. So the hypothetical Kizuna Ai version would be extremely light-hearted. The ‘diss’ would be your typical “she’s short”, “she’s hydrodynamic” and so on… it would be clear there is no actual bad blood, and the song would be welcoming of the new era. Era, as I said before, brought on by Coco.

Back to the Meme Review, meme review was great as it centered reddit as the base for the fandom, rather than twitter, which is a horrible platform to bring a sense of communal welcomeness. Reddit is probably the best functional place for stuff like this, even though we all know it has its host of problems that needs to be resolved.

What is the most important stream in Hololive? Well, some people would point to Aqua and Coco’s The Raft stream, which is a poignant encapsulation of a stream. The dramatic counterweight to the other greatest stream in Hololive, Korone’s all-english Mario stream. Aqua and Coco are always the odd pairing, but it could have worked, and it might have been beneficial. Aqua is one of the most shy people in Hololive, and Mio is already busy with Ayame and Subaru, so the best person might have been Coco.

But China. There were two big beneficiaries from China in Hololive, one was Fubuki and the other was Aqua. While Fubuki, in Coco’s last months, famously went out of her way to intertwine herself with Coco to directly redirect her audience, like the mensch she is, Aqua always struggled with her audience retention, therefore played shy with Coco.

Edit: Well, my initial final impression was… what a wonderful finish. The interview portion was well-meant, but honestly a little formal. When the 4th Gen went together, is when the stream turned into something special for me, and the final performance was actually really well-done. Coco went out like an idol, which makes sense. For whatever provocation Coco perpetuated, Coco only did them out of love. And ultimately Cover knew that. Coco’s final month was a warning and a reminder.

Can I talk about all the different tributes lately? In some sense, Usaken Summer Festival is part of this… for an organization that is immensely popular, I just adore how Cover and their talent always has this drive to throw everything and see if it works. I noticed this during Golden Week. Golden Week in Hololive was jam packed. There were great events, Mio’s morning stream was astounding, leading to one of biggest growth spurt for Mio. Miko’s drawing collab was absolutely hilarious, for such a simple and seemingly hastily put idea. One of the people in a forum commented on this and affixed something that left my mind… what did Nijisanji during the same week? Even I was surprised by how little Nijisanji did that Golden week. They barely did anything!

The innovative spirit does give them trouble, more than it is worth, but Cover never really stopped its momentum, even when most other companies would have stopped a long time ago! This is the greatest thing about Hololive and Cover, the most redeeming feature. One that would serve them well. Coco wrote the playing book, let us pray that Cover sticks to them, because the fall of Cover comes the moment they stray.

The Pre-Coco era was about a company struggling to get their idea through. The Coco era was about writing the playing book. So the Post-Coco era will be about remembrance, it’ll be a struggle to keep the memory of what the playing book is. It’ll be about them being Hololive as they become part of the global zeitgeist.

#vtuber #hololive #kiryu coco #web talk #Thoughts

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tarantulas4davey · 4 years ago

Note

race was once in the middle of streaming and when he realized it was raining he stopped whatever he was doing to open the window and set linda, his tomato plant, outside and left it open so he could hear the rain and chat basically just said “awww thats adorable uwu” for the rest of the stream

al was doing a q&a stream and suddenly race walked in and was like look what i found :)!!! it was kitten he found and suddenly the stream turned into them caring for it and now they have another cat

al has an electric drum kit and did a cover of a song and everyone, especially race, found it a little too attractive

elmer and race got into a “my boyfriends better than yours” argument and planned a video like the fitness competition that mark and ethan did on unus annus except spot and al didnt even know about the feud and know have to do some fitness test because their boyfriends brag too much

spot and al get them back by making them also do the (very difficult) fitness test against each other and its hilarious

you have, once again, managed to characterize my version of these idiots perfectly so this is just my commentary on your perfection

- race is such a rain lover !!! (i am too, but that’s not the point. it’s raining rn and i’m vibing by a window typing headcanons and drinking hot chocolate) he much prefers it to snow, cause it’s not as cold, and he loves the sound of it on the room and through the trees. his tomato plant’s name is sally though, cause linda is his lil cactus friend.

- honestly race WOULD spontaneously bring home a kitten. albert gets to name it though, which is why they now have a tiny black and white kitten named skully. it’s their only cat, but skully IS best friends with jack and davey’s cat from their christmas card.

- albert does randomly lil music covers in his streams fairly regularly cause everything is set up in the game room, but he posts a full cover of ‘papercut’ by linkin park and everyone looses their shit. the reaction is even more dramatic when race points out that you can hear albert’s voice in the backing vocals of his drum cover. he also plays/sings ‘i cant help falling in love with you’ on piano for race’s birthday one year and everyone’s hearts exploded. they’re also simps so he so much as mentions an instrument he plays and the entire chat is just like ‘🥵🥵🥵’

-✨i have a lot of opinions on musician albert✨

- they got into it during a pubg stream cause they had almost the same number of wins and kills and general stat stuff and race DEFINITELY started it. albert and spot get dragged into a video like mark and ethan did (specifically the one inside the gym, not the outside one or the one at mark’s house) and have a lot of fun torturing their not-as-athletic boyfriends with physical activity. they also ran that like,,,, army obstacle course thing (the one from unus annus that had james charles in it) and albert absolutely sweeps everyone.

- everyone loved the video cause it was an excuse to see albert’s tattoos cause he wearing like,,,, basketball shorts and a tank top or something

✨anyways✨

i love them all sm

#newsies #livesies #never not read the tags #albert dasilva #racetrack higgins #ralbert #spam ralbert gang #chaotic red and radioactive racer #youtuber ralbert #youtuber!au #idiots !#they’re so dumb and in love it’s so sweet

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adozentothedawn · 3 years ago

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Picked up the tag from @cadash-nua because I just kinda felt like it.^^ I'll throw out a tag to @ampleappleamble, @rannadylin, @serenbach86, @dragonologist-phd, @shimmer-like-agirl, @orime-stories, @brightoncemore, @adraveins, @iamapotatobag. If you want of course.^^ Anyone else feel free pick it up, they're just the only ones in fandom I know have an Ao3 account. (edit: will sneak in @risualto as well, who I shamefully forgot, I’m sorry, friend.^^°)

How many works do you have on AO3.

21.

What’s your total AO3 words count?

97537. Man I really need to write a bit more to reach that 100k.👀

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

(A few have the same numbers, so it'll be a little more than 5)

Godlike, an Inuyasha one shot and the first fic I ever uploaded on Ao3: 88.

Do You Have to Pick up Penguins? (No, you don't), a short shitpost for the Pillars fandom in which Favaen confuses the fuck out of Vatnir: 13.

Vela, a one shot about our favourite baby dealing with her life from being almost murdered as a baby to losing her new home and finding her mother comatose: 11.

The Miracle of Verdant Vorlas, my take on the canon event in which Waidwen and Eothas perform their first miracle and really get the rebellion started: 11.

The the Weak Die, another Pillars shitpost about Favaen and Aloth torturing Edér with Aedyran takes on tea: 9.

Mo(u)rning, a one shot about Adaryc trying to deal with Eothas' return and the death of the Watcher, an Eothas priestess in her own right: 9.

What Wael Sees, a series of prompt one shots about different characters, ranging from my Watchers over Adaryc and the companions to Waidwen and the friends I made for him: 9.

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes, always! My answers range from "Thanks!^^" to mutiple paragraphs of background information the commenter didn't actually ask for.^^° But I do always answer, the longer my answer usually because I have more to say about it.

What’s the fic with the angstiest ending?

I have a few fics which will end really angsty, but I haven't really gotten anywhere with them yet. I guess the one I have that would qualify is from the ashes of the dawn which is about Eothas between the Godhammer and Deadfire. It's not completely angsty because we know the Watcerh survived it but for Eothas it's plenty angsty.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

That one I know even less how to answer because most of my fics have a happy ending. I guess I'll go with Gay, since it technically ends with Maneha happily going to hunt for booty.

Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve ever written?

Only in my head. Actually that's a lie, techincally I wrote the beginning of a Yugioh Hyrule Warrios crossover fic once, but that was long before my Ao3 days and was still in german. I still think the idea was hilarious and regret nothing except stopping. If anyone knows german and wants to read it hit me up and I'll go digging for the link.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Only from myself. Frankly I don' think the Inuyasha one is egrigeous enough to warrant any interest from haters and if you go around hating fics in tiny fandoms such as Pillars I don't think you'll get very much amusement out of it.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Not yet. Frankly I don't know enough about sex to feel comfortable writing it and I feel I would cringe myself out of existence for not being accurate. Also it's hard enough for me to write romance and sexual attraction. Doesn't mean that I'll never write smut, but not for a while.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of. I don't write for big enough fandoms for people to be interested in stealing and I do hope Ao3 is more secure that Wattpad in scam bots. On the other hand though since I post on tumblr too my fics are definitely on some tumblr scam copy. So I guess in that sense yes.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but it would be dope! I am considering translating some of my baby fics from german if anyone wants to read them.^^

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No but again, I'd be absolutely down. Also I still have this idea of what if the Pillars gods were people at some point, which could absolutely be a fandom project if anyone wants to join in.^^

What’s your all-time favourite ship?

I don't really write ships. The only ships I've kinda written were Watcher Francesca/Aloth and Watcher Francesca/Maneha so I guess those.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I hope to finish all of my WIPS and refuse to ever call them a lost cause.

What are your writing strengths?

Perspective and character voices.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Writing surroundings. Seriously, if I don't work over my pieces afterwards there all standing in grey empty space.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I don't particularily like it, but I don't hate it. it just usually doesn't end well and I think doesn't really do anything for the reader.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Star Trek! It was a self insert fic about the Kobayashi Maru test and in the middle of writing it I started watching the new movies and then got confused in which version I want it to be set. But honestly it is still TOS.

What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

I like all my fics, or at least something in all my fics. Over all I guess I have to say A Death in Your Name though. It was the first fic where I just threw all my inhibitions out the window and wrote what I wanted, and I think it turned out pretty well. It's about the past life of my Watcher Favaen, the Inquisitor, and high priestess of Eothas, Emblyn, who was also Iovara's sister, and the effects her actions had on Eothas later, and also about Iovara's and Eothas' relationship.

#asks and tags #long post #i guess^^°

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herenya-writes · 3 years ago

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Get-to-Know-Me Game!

@beria1021 tagged me for this, and since it’s kinda long I decided to go ahead and make my own post. Thanks for the tag!

Why did you choose your URL?

Short version is that Herenya is a translation of my name into Tolkien elvish, and, in theory, I write things lol

any side-blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them.

No side blogs for me so far! I’m also really bad at tagging stuff so y’all just get whatever the heck I’m interested in at the moment. That said, if there’s something you really can’t stand seeing and want me to tag it so you can block it, feel free to let me know!

How long have you been on tumblr?

Uhhh since like August of 2019 I think? That sounds right? But maybe it was earlier than that? I really have no idea. Some time in 2019.

Do you have a queue tag?

Nah. The only time I queue stuff is if I really want to reblog a post but I’ve seen it five times in a row because all of my mutuals are doing the same thing.

Why did you start your blog in the first place?

I wanted to get in touch with the Star Trek fandom! I had seen a lot of cool art and such floating around the internet and wanted to be part of it.

Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

Because I love Spock, and I saw a post once where he was wearing the demisexual flag and it really struck a chord with me. I was like ‘hey, that’s me!’ Nowadays, I usually just use the queer label because heck if I know what’s going on anymore, but I still really love the icon.

Why did you choose your header?

Because space is so incredibly gorgeous and I love it.

What’s your post with the most notes?

I have no idea hold on. *checks* ah okay this is hilarious. It’s this one. Followed by this one. Neither have an absurd number of notes but I think they’re funny lol

How many followers do you have?

There are 383 of you here, and I have no idea why but I love you all

How many people do you follow?

238, but I think I should add some more.

Have you ever made a shitpost?

I would argue that my top post is just a shitpost but fancy.

How often do you use tumblr every day?

*nervous laughter* Well yesterday I was on for like nine hours so yeah. Too much.

Did you have a fight/argument with a blog once?

I don’t think so?

How do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this post’?

I don’t like them. Lots of people use social media to advocate, which is awesome and I totally support. But a lot of people use it (especially tumblr) to escape the world for a while. Sometimes I reblog posts that say that at the end, but I hope y’all know I don’t mean that. It’s your media experience, and I’m not here to judge anyone based on what they don’t reblog.

Do you like tag games?

Yes! It takes me ages to do them sometimes, but I love tag games. Every now and then there’s one I don’t do, and usually that’s just because I’m too stressed out that day and then I forget about it.

Do you like ask games?

Ask games my beloved! I know that random strangers on the internet probably don’t care at all what my favorite memory is or why I included a certain scene in my fic, but I love doing ask games.

Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

@marlinspirkhall It’s the musical. You’ll never escape Solkar the Slut, although I’m not sure you want to lol

Do you have a crush on a mutual?

Nah, but I love you all!

Tags: @convenient-plot-device @soft-and-certain @thenorsiest @and-claudia

#ramblings #tag game #thanks for the tag!#claudia you don't have to do this but i figured i would tag you

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xcziel · 4 years ago

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get to know me

tagged by @vishcount (thank you!!) and i'll follow her format bc making two posts seems a little much - i'm not that interesting!!

(hilariously, this post shows up as blocked for me bc of the tag 'joker' which? tumblr?????)

Part I

name: i'm an internet old, so i never use my real name online, mainly because it's spelled in a very unique way (thanks mom & dad) - i mean like, if you googled it you could find my home address in a few seconds kind of unique - but also, though i do enjoy the spelling, i actually don't like it very much when it's said out loud? (is it weird that my name written down is 'me', but my name aloud has never felt like 'me'?) always wanted a nickname but never acquired one :/

at any rate, i've had the username xcziel forever and i go by that 😊 (pronounced ex-SEE-zee-el, similar to etc. or ex-SET-er-ah! thanks @xia-xueyi for pointing out that it can be confusing to guess!)

rest behind a cut because it got long!

pronouns: she/her

star sign: i don't ... really *do* astrology? but technically saggitarius

height: 5'4" (162.5cm for the intl folks)

time: 5:43pm but these thing take me forever to type out so ... ???

birthday: playing the 'internet old' card again .. but it floats around american Thanksgiving depending on the year

nationality: american

fave bands/groups/solo artists: lumping these together because i just .. don't really do music much anymore. if you had asked me this back in my 20s i'm sure i would have had all kinds of opinions and things to share, but these days i actually mostly prefer to listen music from when i was a kid. part of it is also that as an old, i prefer to buy my music, even digitally, and i don't really use spotify - which does so much to enable diverse music exploration i admit! but i mostly have earplugs in all the time and music does not work for me as background noise, so...

so i guess my answer would be 70s disco and classic rock and 80s new wave artists? i've never liked any artist's entire discography and prefer greatest hits-type compilations, but i guess duran duran and def leppard and depeche mode would be considered formative? i love new order but specifically late 80s new order, NOT joy division. the only concert t-shirt i've ever worn was the cult? i loved sonic temple but i can't listen to most of it anymore though i still adore love removal machine. i think maybe if you get old enough, for some of us there's TOO MUCH good music and we can't pare it down anymore

song stuck in your head: jamiroquai's canned heat

last movie you watched: re: the above, i re-watched center stage, the 2000 one with zoe saldana and the mandy moore soundtrack, bc it's a happy comfort movie and i just got a digital version

last show you binged: i can't really "binge" very often bc after a couple of hours i need a break, so i guess i'd say the tgcf donghua on netflix since it was short enough to get through all in one go

when you created your blog: in 2012 i stopped lurking so i could post about the avengers movie

the last thing you googled: 5'4" in cm? lol before that it was chinese wrapped street food

other blogs: everything is here! i discovered i compartmentalize about as well as i tag reliably (😓) but i do have several automated ao3feed-tag style sideblogs. and i did, very briefly, have a *winces* hockey sideblog too

why i chose my url: ooh i know i've done this before, sorry if it's repetitive, basically it was the username i picked back when my family first got aol: short, unique combo of letters - 14-year-old me really thought about it! and then it wouldn't let me use anything other than my name. thirty-some-odd years later, trying to come up with a livejournal username that wasn't already taken and getting fed up, i plugged it in and went: good enough!

how many people are you following: like 760-something last i checked? although many, many, many of them are deactivated

how many followers do you have: idk i don't like looking at that stuff, but way fewer than i am following

average hours of sleep: it varies too much day by day, my sleep schedule is too wonky, i have no idea what the average would be

lucky numbers: 7? cliché i know, and again not really buying into it, but somewhere in my hindbrain i like it that my first, middle, and last names all have seven letters

instruments: none. i like singing

what i'm currently wearing: giant black t-shirt and baggy black drawstring shorts, standard sitting around the house gear

dream job: don't have one. if i did it would give me something to be working towards *sigh* this is how you end up in retail for decades, kids! but also, to quote a random post i saw in true tumblr fashion "i simply do not dream of labor"

dream trip: covered this one before but: back to the uk and some railway daytrips, or a really fancy northern cruise, atlantic/pacific either one

fave food: uhhh, don't really have a favorite but i'm almost always in the mood for pizza

top three fictional universe you'd like to live in: none really, if i had to still be me..maybe some kind of actually utopian future? but the pandemic has confirmed for me that i do NOT like living in interesting times, so most fictional story universes are RIGHT out. my favorites to read about like discworld or diana wynne jones' worlds would be way to chaotic for my comfort. possibly diane duane's young wizards universe would be safe enough to be okay?

Part II

last song: watching center stage made me think of my dance playlist so sunrise by simply red

last movielast stream: i don't watch streams or youtube often, so it was the same as you, vish! liu chang's birthday stream was SO enjoyable i screenrecorded the entire thing just so i could play it back (and maybe gif sometime if i ever get the drive to actually do it)

currently reading: well i just finished the translated quan qiu gao kao or global university entrance exam novel, which was sparked purely from catching a single rec post here on tumblr and basically just *falling* into this 166 chapter epic that is *amazing* and not coming up for air until i got to the end, which is typical novel-reading behavior for me (yes i was the kid who read through lunch period and got hassled by people who kept pestering me with "what're you reading" questions and yes i realize probably a lot of you on tumblr were too) plus, the new murderbot novel is out tomorrow!!!!! so that'll be where i end up next!

currently watching: the entire dmbj verse (that i can get my hands on) but ... sporadically and stopping at random different parts because the thing is ... this type of show is not really the kind i enjoy so much? so since it's more for "research" and learning character arcs (and let's be honest: shots of liu sang), etc. it's easy to get distracted by other stuff. i'm also watching the sleuth of the ming dynasty, mr queen, bromance, the expanse, re-watching farscape and stargate sg-1, just finished the falcon and the winter soldier, and then anytime something new and short gets introduced it jumps the queue. there are just. so. many. things. to. watch! (now i have to look into anti-fraud league too!? you all are cruel ...)

what is antipoetry to you: i ... don't really think much about poetry? i know what i prefer is usually the more basic rhymed kind like lewis carroll, emily dickinson, poe, coleridge, etc. so i suppose i don't have much use for classifying non-rhyming verse? i can appreciate stuff like rupi kaur which i guess would qualify? or that william carlos williams plums poem? but it doesn't really stick with me the way lyric-like verse does

currently craving: i never know what exactly this is meant to be in reference to ... hmmm, i would love a new high-concept, high production-quality movie like say, pacific rim, to be released, just for that massive, excited energy that comes with something new that hasn't already got tons of disappointing or conflicting history behind it - that would be so fun!!

other than that, right now, i mostly kinda want some fried fish? but that will have to wait until i go to get my second vaccine shot on wednesday since it's on the way there. i'd also like my internal body parts to settle down and fly right but it's been more than a month and they don't seem inclined :(((( maybe once i'm fully vaxxed i'll think about consulting somebody about it

tagging @foxofninetales @xia-xueyi @momosandlemonsoda @memorydragon @thewindsofsong @elvencantation @mylastbraincql @hesayshesgotboyfriend @aurawolfgirl2000 @smaragdine-galaxy and anyone who wants to! but never feel obligated and if you don't get around to it for like half a year that's totally fine, i am still interested!!!

#xcedit #is my only like 'me' tag #tag game #long post #i wanna do one of these with more unusual questions but not like those themed ones ...#tell me if the cut doesn't work i'm still not used to having them on mobile!

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lovelyirony · 4 years ago

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@ad1thi asked for nat singing ‘girls’ by girl in red every time sharon walked past her. and...well...who’s gonna stop me? i tweaked the prompt a bit, hope you don’t mind...

Because Natasha teaches advanced Russian classes, she usually doesn’t get to see most professors outside of the classroom, if that. She sees the teachers from her department: Tony for Spanish (and Italian, because he’s a try-hard), and Clint for ASL.

Usually, the conversation is about what students email too much, where to go for after-work drinks, and which person forgot to lock their office door, because Clint can and will steal your best pens.

But this time, Tony is hopping on his heels.

“We have a new Kinesiology professor,” he says, grinning.

“And I care...why?” Nat questions, eyebrow raised. “It doesn’t really have anything to do with us.”

“Well not for me, but for you it does,” Tony says, his eyebrows wiggling. “She’s cute. Here’s her profile, look!”

Natasha is surprised.

She’s...exactly her type. The sweet type, funny, and it looks like she’s excited to start at this new job.

She’ll need friends, obviously.

And Natasha can sort of...figure her out. Read her, see if there’s anything in the cards for a girlfriend.

Sharon is absolutely excited for this new offer. The last job had been good and fun, but...just not the right environment. Her friend Sam had promised to help her get settled and show her the sights and tell her the references that students say when it comes to restaurants or coffee shops.

What she wasn’t expecting was to see a woman who was probably the most beautiful person she’d ever seen in her life standing at the top of the classroom.

“Can I help you?” Sharon asks, gathering her bag and her jacket.

“Just with your name,” she says with a grin. “I’m Natasha, I teach Russian. I heard we had a new kinesiology professor in town.”

“And how’d you hear that?” Sharon asks. Natasha just continues down the stairs, still smiling.

“A little birdie named Tony. You’ll get to know him soon. I figured you’d want at least one more person to know around here.”

“That’s always helpful,” Sharon says. “I’m Sharon, nice to meet you, Natasha.”

“Likewise,” Natasha says, looking around the classroom. “How are you liking it so far?”

“It’s really nice,” Sharon says. “The campus is beautiful, and Sam Wilson-do you know him?”

“We’ve met.”

“He’s been helping me around, been a real sweetheart.”

“He always is,” Natasha says, grinning. “But here, give me your phone. If you ever need someone else to show you around or you’re just bored, feel free to text or call.”

Sharon takes the proffered phone, smiling a bit as she types in her number and sends a quick text to herself.

“I’ll see you around, I’m sure,” she says, and Natasha nods.

“Hopefully, yes.”

Natasha has a problem.

She doesn’t really know how to flirt that much.

Or, at least, get close to Sharon.

They’re in different departments, and all the way across campus from each other. Sure, there will be the staff get-togethers, but those are public. She also doesn’t know if Sharon even likes women.

They text occasionally, and she’s found out that Sharon now positively adores the little cafe down the road, but other than that she has no leads to go on.

“Why don’t you just ask your students?” Bruce says as he’s laying on her couch.

“What.”

Bruce gets up from his reclined position, leaning on one elbow.

“Ask your students. I had to ask them when Thor wouldn’t stop barging into my classes to ‘learn for free.’ They know a lot more than you think they know.”

“One of my students misspelled his own name,” Natasha deadpans. “I doubt that’d be of any help. Besides, I don’t think I’m the type to...ask them for advice.”

“Don’t knock it ‘til you try it,” Bruce says with a shrug. “I had one student email me because she was concerned that I didn’t know that Thor liked me, and she was right! Just reinforce the fact that they can email you.”

“They don’t,” Natasha says. “They ask questions in class, or they attend office hours. I don’t like to answer emails.”

“You amaze me,” Bruce says, getting up. “I gotta get going, it’s late.”

“It’s eight-twenty p.m.”

“Like I said, it’s late. Good luck with your lady-love-problem!”

She asks Tony for help next.

Tony cackles in her face.

“No,” he says.

“Why not?”

“Because you are hilariously out of your depth for once, and so I get to make fun of you because you made fun of me for acting desperate around Rhodey.”

“I was right, and I don’t regret it,” Natasha says. “I’ll ask Sam.”

Sam just shrugs.

“Why not just ask her?”

“I can’t just do things like that,” Natasha hisses. “We don’t even know each other that well!”

“Then get to that level,” Sam says. “Ask her to walk in the park or something! Be her friend first, idiot.”

“Don’t you dare call me an idiot when you and Barnes’ version of flirting is threatening to not buy the other’s cereal at the grocery store.”

“I’m going to pretend like I didn’t hear that,” Sam says, waving his hand. “Go be friends, loser.”

Friends is easy. She can do friends. She will just ignore the fact that Sharon is gorgeous and cool and funny and easily a crush.

She can do that.

It goes...well. She asks Sharon if she wants to come with a group of her friends to trivia night.

“Are you sure?” Sharon asks over the phone. “I don’t want to intrude on your friends night...”

“You are a friend,” Natasha says.

“Aw, you sap,” Sharon teases. “What kind of trivia are we doing?”

“They’re trying to get us professors in on the lingo of modern students,” Nat says. “I’m going to try my best.”

Sharon looks like a dream in casual jean shorts, a worn t-shirt, and low heels.

“Is this too much?”

“You look fantastic,” Natasha promises. “Trust me. How’s your day been?”

“Better now that I have plans,” Sharon says, getting into the car. “Where’s trivia?”

“A teacher-exclusive bar,” she responds. “My friend Pepper is a marketing professor, and so she’s been working for years to keep students away from here. She’s done wonders.”

Sharon laughs, and it’s the best sound.

Modern Student Knowledge: Nat knows none of it.

But.

There’s an interesting question.

She’s read about violets and "Friend of Dorothy” and all of the questions and hints that people have used.

“girl in red” is a new one.

“It’s a music thing, I think,” Maria says. “One of my students asked another student that. I was trying to figure it out.”

After the answer is revealed, Sharon’s tapping away on her phone.

“Oh, gay music!” she says brightening. “This looks good.”

Natasha’s heart rises.

She drops off Sharon and does not watch her go up the stairs, and then she drives to her own apartment and opens up her laptop.

Ignoring the three emails from campus that came over the last two hours, she googles the band.

It’s stuff she would definitely have wanted to listen to when she was that age.

It might be subtle enough, maybe, if she could reference it around Sharon. She had looked at the lyrics after all. It would be obvious if she had known about the lyrics, but not if she had just skimmed to see more about the answer.

Natasha starts off humming. She’ll do it in the sort of out-of-sorts way that one does when they are doing the mundane things, like dishes or laundry or grading papers.

On occasion, Sharon will invite Nat over for a “grading session” which essentially means idly grading papers while having glasses of wine.

(Sharon looks pretty with red cheeks. Natasha never gets drunk enough to tell her.)

But she hums it as she’s writing out another critique on a student’s spelling of the word “chicken.”

“What are you humming?” Sharon asks, and Natasha clicks her pen.

“I, um. I looked up that one ‘girl in red’ music thing from trivia night. I like their stuff.”

“I’ll have to give it a listen,” Sharon says softly. Natasha looks up, and she doesn’t know what Sharon is thinking.

“You’d like it, I think.”

“Oh yeah? And why is that?”

“Good vibes,” Natasha answers, because it’s not like you can say “because you’re hot and so are women in general.” It just simply isn’t done.

The lyrics start a little bit after Christmas break begins. Natasha doesn’t really celebrate the holiday, although her birthday is close by. She doesn’t necessarily like saying this, although Sharon wants to know.

“Why?” Natasha asks.

“Well obviously you get people you care about a gift,” Sharon says, as if she’s stated the most casual thing in the world. (Her heart races.) “So, what gifts are you looking at?”

“I, um. I don’t really think about gifts.”

What she wants to say: I would like a Birthday Date. Or a kiss. Whatever I can get.

She doesn’t know what to answer.

“Well then, it means you’ll be surprised,” Sharon says with a wink.

They hang out and go Christmas shopping together for other people. They both agree that they need to really hunt for Bucky and Sam, who surprisingly are the hardest to shop for.

They’re in a store when the song actually comes on. Natasha grins as she sings it off and on, and doesn’t exactly see Sharon staring at her.

Even when Sharon isn’t there, Natasha will off-handedly sing the tunes when she’s cooking or cleaning or doing things around the apartment.

She doesn’t hear Sharon come in as she’s washing her dishes.

“They’re so pretty, it hurts, I’m not talking about boys, I’m talking about girls,” Natasha sings, and when she turns Sharon’s looking at her with a fond look.

She jumps about two feet in the air.

“Holy shit, I didn’t know you were here!” she says, holding her chest. “Oh my god, you were quiet.”

“I like the song choice,” Sharon says. “That’s one of my favorites.”

“Oh?” Natasha asks. “Any particular reason?”

“Well, I do happen to like girls, you know,” Sharon says, words seeming almost careful.

“Me too,” Natasha says carefully, looking into Sharon’s eyes.

“I brought you your gift,” Sharon says, holding out a box that’s been tried to be wrapped beautifully, but has not been at the very end. (Too much tape.)

Natasha still unwraps it carefully.

Inside is a Halloween mug, a tube of the darkest red lipstick Nat’s ever seen, and a gift-card to their favorite coffee shop.

“This is too kind,” Natasha murmurs, lifting them out of their paper. “How’d you know that I liked this kind of lipstick?”

“I had some help from Maria and Pep,” Sharon says. “But...I like that color too.”

Natasha looks at her for a moment.

“Sharon, you know what else would be nice for a birthday?”

“And what is that?” Sharon asks, grinning. “A nice dinner?”

“With the most attractive girl in town, if I can swing it,” Natasha says, grinning. “I’ll wear my lipstick out, we’ll take it for a test run.”

Sharon smiles back.

“You can be my girl in red, then.”

“I’d be glad to,” Natasha says. “Dinner tonight at six?”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

Their dinner goes smoothly. Their night even better. They find out that Sharon looks good with the red lipstick, although it’s rather hard to get off with just water and soap. (Nat ran out of make-up remover.)

#lovelyirony writes #natsharon #sharon carter #natasha romanoff #bruce banner #sam wilson #tony stark #a hint of sambucky bc i find them hilarious

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carriagelamp · 4 years ago

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Book Review - Summer Summary 2020

I didn’t get around to doing an individual post for the books I read in June/July/August, so I decided to choose a dozen that I read over the summer... I’d separate the wheat from the chaff for you so to speak. Though like you’re about to find out, that doesn’t necessarily mean they were all good by any means...

Crave

My girlfriend got this for me to “tide me over until Midnight Sun”. Between you and me, I think she was taking the piss. Anyway, Crave is very... standard fare paranormal YA school romance with the added flare of being written by an adult erotica writer, meaning the rhythm and tone of this novel is fucking bonkers. If you want to read the novel without reading the novel, just take Twilight and the entire Vampire Academy series, shove them in a blend, and force down the sludge you get from that. Normal Average Girl Goes To Secret School In Alaska For Vampire, Werewolves and Dragons. That’s this book. It is so big and so so so bad. I finished it out of spite, please don’t do that to yourself. Unless you are really craving (hurr hurr) some top tier trashy paranormal romance, in which case... no judgment.

The Last Firehawk

The Last Firehawk is a Scholastic “Branches” series, written for beginning readers (grade 1-3ish, depending on the child’s reading level). It has short stories, big text, and awesome pictures on every page. Guys. I unironically am adoring this series. It’s simple and is introducing children to a number of classic elements in the fantasy quest genre, but it is so charming. Friends Tag and Skyla discover a firehawk egg, and species that is supposed to have disappeared long ago. When Blaze hatches from it, the three are tasked with going out and finding the magical ember stone which was hidden long ago by the firehawks and which could be used to defeat the evil vulture Thorn and his dark magic... I read the first two books to second graders who ate it up and read the next four books because I personally wanted to continue the series. If you have young readers in your life (or just want a fun kid adventure) then please try these they’re the literary equivalent of nibbling on a chocolate chip cookie.

Lupin III: World’s Most Wanted #3

All the kind people that still follow my tumblr and haven’t tried to murder me because of my Lupin obsession are not going to be surprised by this one. I finally read one of the manga for this series and honestly I’m delighted. Somehow even hornier than the show, but hilariously funny. I felt like I was reading a more adult version of Spy Vs Spy. It’s a bunch of short, individual bits/adventures with lots of visual gags and an artstyle that is really different and delightful.

River of Teeth / Taste of Marrow (American Hippo series)

I’ve talked about River of Teeth before, but I finally finished the American Hippo duology and need to sing its praise. This is an alternate history series composed of two novellas that explore the question What would have happened if the States had decided to import hippos as livestock...? Anyways, my pitch for you: queer hippo cowboys. That’s all it took for me to read it. You have a gay gunslinger who loves his hippo to death, a nonbinary explosives-expert / poisoner who is the main love interest, a fat con artist who spoils her hippo and is the only voice of reason in this entire series, and a latina mother-to-be who is the scariest assassin in the entire series and is obviously scheming. The four of them are brought together on a job to deal with the Mississippi’s feral hippo problem.

IT’S A QUEER HIPPO COWBOY HEIST NOVEL GUYS I DON’T KNOW WHY I’M STILL TALKING AND YOU HAVEN’T JUST GONE TO READ THIS YET.

Petals to the Metal (The Adventure Zone series)

The graphic novel adaptation to the McElroy family’s DND podcast The Adventure Zone. Most of you are probably aware of this? It’s a great adaptation, it hits all the important beats, shows off the characters really well, and still gets lots of good gags in even while condensing entire arcs into single book stories. This one is probably my favourite so far just because Petals to the Metal was one of my favourite arcs in the show... but you can also see how the art has improved and the chaos of the race is fun to see drawn out.

If you like The Adventure Zone but haven’t tried the graphic novels yet -- would recommend! If you’ve always wanted to listen to The Adventure Zone but don’t have time for such a long series or struggle to focus on podcasts then pick up the first book of this series (Here There Be Gerblins) and try reading it! It really is an enjoyable adaptation.

Pony to the Rescue (Pony Pals series)

I continued my April/May theme of reading old-school chapter book series to combat Covid Brain Fry, so I picked up a few Pony Pals books. I read these as a kid and always enjoy them -- there’s just something so appealing to a child about having a horse. It gives your child characters a level of independence and ability to explore that you wouldn’t get otherwise. These books definitely read young, but they were nostalgic to revisit.

Small Spaces

A really cool middle grade horror novel I picked up. Maybe it’s because I live around a lot of corn fields, but farm/scarecrow themed horror absolutely does it for me. One evening, after seeing a woman try to destroy a strange, old book, eleven year old Ollie doesn’t stop to think, instead stealing the book and running. That’s how she becomes wrapped up in the strange, sinister story of a cursed family and creature called the Smiling Man that seems to live out in the foggy fields. While unsettling, Ollie tries to remind herself that it’s just a story... but this becomes more challenging when her school bus breaks down one day out their own set of fields, and a fog is rolling in...

“Avoid large spaces. Stick to small.”

Snot Girl #1 - #2

A Canadian graphic novel series by the creator of the Scott Pilgrim series! I love his work so I decided to give Snotgirl a try, even though it’s not generally my genre. I’m glad I did! First book took a while for me to get into, but by the time I hit the second I was really wrapped up in the mystery and character development. Snotgirl is about Lottie, a self-consumed fashion blogger whose biggest struggles are dealing with her allergies, frustration with her fellow-blogger friends, and how entirely her self-esteem is tied to her “beauty” and how people view her. But everything shifts in strange and horrifying ways when Lottie starts taking a new allergy medication, meets a new friend... and then witnesses that girl’s death. Or does she?

Seriously, or does she? I have no idea, I need to read the third book. This book is full of intrigue, complicated relationships, murder (or not?), and a healthy dose of magical realism to keep you guessing. If you like slice-of-life, crime, and abstract reality then this series is world a try. Plus the art is gorgeous.

Summer Wars #1 - #2

I recently rewatched Summer Wars (still one of my favourite movies) and decided to read the two-book manga adaptation. It was a really neat little adaptation. The creator of the movie gave the writer free range to tweak things to fit better in a manga format, which means some movie elements were allowed to fade into the background, whereas other aspects were fulled into the forefront and fleshed out to a greater degree. It was very cool, it kept the same story but gave you new things to think about which I wasn’t expecting. Reading this as a stand alone works just fine, but honestly if you’ve never watched the movie Summer Wars you should give it a try! It’s a great mix of slice-of-life, sprawling family dynamics that I relate to a little too well, cyber adventures, and fantasy. Super feel good.

This One Summer

Okay, last graphic novel, I swear. This One Summer was... weird and intense. It’s a coming-of-age Canadian graphic novel that follows a pair of pre-teens who meet up like they do every year at their family’s summer cottages. You see them both in the awkward phases between childhood and growing up to become teenagers, as they’re confronted with things like maturity, friendship, self-esteem, family problems, and sexuality. A beautiful read, but probably the heaviest out of all the books on my list.

Wild Thornberrys Novelization

I rewatched The Wild Thornberrys movie with my girlfriend earlier this year, and decided I wanted to hunt down the chapter book novelization because I’m kind of a sucker for novelizations. Honestly, this was about what you would expect from the era. 90s/00s novelizations, especially young novelizations, are generally just a transcript of the movie without much thought or effort put into them to make them anything but. That’s what this was. It was fine, and it really let me revisualize the entire movie, but honestly you’re probably better off just rewatching the movie unless you also really deeply love The Wild Thornberrys.

The Willoughbys

I saw that Netflix had done a funky looking adaptation of The Willoughbys and I decided I needed to read the book first before watching the movie. This was a little bizarre, I’m still not sure how I feel about it. Over all, I think it was a net-positive experience. It’s an obvious satire on classic children’s novels, especially the likes of Mary Poppins (real Mary Poppins, not the Disney version) and while a little heavy-handed, it does a Series of Unfortunate Events vibe that redeems it. The story is about a group of horrible children (The Ruthless Willoughbys) who decide they are sick of their parents and would rather become Worth Orphans... and to do that, they’re going to have to dispose of their inconvenient parents, obviously. Conveniently their parents are also sick of having children and decide to do away with them as well. The Willoughbys sets up three (or four?) different subplots that are gradually woven together through a series of schemes and exploits. It’s definitely more ruthless (hurr hurr) than the Netflix version, which tried to make the children more sympathetic, and in some ways I think that’s a definite point in the novel’s favour. I’m not sure I would go out of my way to recommend it, but it was a fun romp if you want something short and off the wall (and a lot more fleshed out than the Netflix version).

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leverage-ot3 · 4 years ago

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notable moments from The Homecoming Job

leverage 1.02

Dr. LeRoque: Pardon me, Mr. uh?

Nate: Oh, uh, Nathan Ford. You’re Dr. LeRoque?

Dr. LeRoque: Can I talk to you outside?

Perry: Doc, he’s cool, I found him on the internet.

Dr. LeRoque: Yes, that never goes badly. (to Nate) With me.

Nate: Uh… I’ll be in touch.

(Perry hands him the flash drive and Nate follows the doctor out of the room)

okay but big mood “I found him on the Internet” “that never goes badly”

but also,,, bruh we NEED to know how their clients found them,,, like ??? H O W

- - - - -

Dr. LeRoque: You can’t just come in here and get his hopes up!

Nate: I’m just here to provide options.

Dr. LeRoque: There are no options.

Nate: The Veteran’s hospital …

Dr. LeRoque: Is 400 miles away and has a five month waiting list. Everybody in that rehab room is a reservist. When reservists get out they get sent home no matter where home is or how far it is from the treatment they need. Nobody thought this through. We’re not a rich hospital, I cashed in every favor I had to take care of these kids for as long as I could but I have to go back in there and tell Perry we can’t treat him anymore. I have to do that. Run your scam on somebody with money.

Nate: It’s not a scam. I’m here to help.

Dr. LeRoque: People don’t just show up to help. That’s not the way the world works.

leverage really called out the us government’s negligence and neglect for veterans in episode TWO and we stan them so hard for it

leverage said “go big or go home” from the VERY beginning

- - - - -

[Audition Room]

Sophie: Why? Why? I can’t live like this anymore. With the lies and the filth. No. Help me. I want to be clean. I want to be clean.

(two directors watching are overwhelmed by just how awful Sophie is)

Rogers: Yeah, you understand this is a soap commercial, right?

Sophie: Uh huh. When I thought about Peggy I came up with this idea that the dirt was really this giant metaphor, for sin.

(Sophie’s cell rings, she glances at her purse)

Rogers: You should take that. No, no you should take that.

Sophie: Oh. (answers phone) Hello? When? (hangs up) Peggy killed her first husband.

Rogers: Thank you

I literally scream every time I LOVE SOPHIE S O MUCH WHAT THE FUCK

- - - - -

[Parking Lot]

(one man is laying on the hood of a car and another falls on top of him. Eliot turns away from the car as the last man pulls a gun on him. They stare at each other for a moment, then a phone rings)

Eliot: That you or me?

(man seems unsure as the phone continues to ring)

Eliot: Could be important. Does your mama have your number?

(man looks down and Eliot grabs the gun, punching the man in the neck. The man goes down, choking. Eliot unloads the gun and tosses it away before pulling out his phone and answering it)

Eliot: Yeah? Nothing, why?

“nothing”? I’m-

- - - - -

(guard walks by a painting hanging in a museum gallery. He looks away for a moment, and when he looks back a rope is dangling where the painting had been. A cell phone rings)

Parker: Parker. Shh. No, I wasn’t shushing you.

I love her, your honor

- - - - -

(Parker, Eliot and Sophie come around the corner and head down the hall)

Parker: From the first job?

Eliot: Yeah.

Parker: I put all that money in a Swiss bank account.

Eliot: Millions of dollars and you didn’t buy anything?

Parker: I don’t like stuff, I like money.

Sophie: I bought a little retirement home, an island.

Eliot: Nice.

Sophie: In Dubai. And Tokyo.

Parker: What about you?

(they reach the door which has a small envelope with Sophie’s name written on it. Sophie takes it off the door and opens it)

Eliot: Yeah, I’m not about to tell two known thieves what I did with a multi-million dollar payout.

Sophie: Don’t you trust us?

(Eliot doesn’t answer.)

- - - - -

Hardison: This is our new cover story. Welcome to Leverage Consulting and Associates, founded in 1913 by the great Harland Leverage the Third.

(Hardison points to a painting on the wall of an older man that greatly resembles Nate)

Sophie: I’m sorry. Nate is going to kill you.

Eliot: Did you paint that?

Hardison: I’m gifted.

Eliot: That’s weird

HARLAND LEVERAGE THE THIRD

- - - - -

Hardison: Now Leverage Consulting Inc. is squeaky clean, all corporate taxes on record as being paid for the last ninety years. (He gives them each a cell and a folder) All your identities as partners, your payroll taxes are paid, you guys have pension plans and dental, those are employment records, case files and company newsletters.

(the group walks the halls of the Leverage offices as they discuss the files)

Parker: In 1998 I won the sack race at the 4th of July picnic. Cool.

Hardison: Now these, these are your offices. Now you can bring something like a photo, you know what, a plant! I’m a big supporter of dandelions.

hardison goes hardcore when coming up with backstories

- - - - -

(Hardison opens doors to a conference room that holds a long table with many chairs around it. One wall is dedicated to large TV screens)

Sophie: Nice.

Eliot: My man.

Hardison: Long version or the short version?

Sophie: Short.

Eliot: Short version.

Parker: Shortest.

(Hardison hits a remote the TV screens illustrate his explanation)

Hardison: Photo and video forensics programs, back doors into every electronic banking system in the world, running heuristic data crawls all over the news sites to find our clients, oh also!

Parker: This is the short version?

Hardison: Facial recognition database tied into CIA, NSA and the FBI. But, the real pièce de résistance (changes screens to sports games) DirectTV HD Total Sports Package. NFL, NBA and I threw in a little bit of hockey ‘cause I know you people like that.

Eliot: Hockey.

hardison nests SO HARD

like, bring in all the highest tech into your cozy new office you designed for you and your fellow adopted criminals? heck yeah

- - - - -

Nate: Our client is the cameraman. Corporal Robert Perry. He says that the Castleman contractors spooked and started firing.

Eliot: 5.56 NATO rounds mixed in with some 9 mils from the sub-machine guns. Insurgents would have used AK-47s with 7.62 ammo. It has more of a... (hits the back of his hand to his palm) crack. Contractors shot 'em up all right.

Parker: You ID’d the weapon from the gunshot sound?

Eliot: It has a very distinctive sound

D I S T I N C T I V E

- - - - -

Nate: Yes, and lobbyists in every office in Washington, DC. The problem with a cover-up is all the paperwork it takes to keep the lies straight.

Hardison: Internal emails, memos.

Nate: Exactly.

- - - - -

[Roof]

[Hardison and Parker are wearing black and connected to repelling gear)

Hardison: I gotta go back to the office I just remembered something.

Parker (adjusting Hardison’s harness): What?

Hardison: I just remembered gravity and the squishiness of all my manly bits.

Parker: I designed this rig myself. The line is carbon fiber. Five point harness. Weight support here, here, and here. Auto-breaking resistance on the main pulley back here.

Hardison: Okay cool, so it’s tested?

Parker: Not yet.

Hardison: Not yet? When the hell was you gonna test it?

(Parker pushes Hardison off the roof. She smiles, he screams)

Parker: Big baby.

(she jumps after him. Hardison screams until he stops upside down. Parker lowers herself to his side)

Hardison: Seriously? Seriously

hardison’s first time rappelling decidedly Did Not Go Well

- - - - -

Sophie: My company’s focused on meeting senators, but I’m thinking congressmen.

DuFort: You know the great thing about congressmen? Fifty, a hundred grand well spent will get one elected, but then once they’re in the incumbency rate is over 95 percent so you can get an average 18, 20 years’ use out of one of them. In these uncertain times buying a United States congressman is one of the best investments a corporation can make.

[DuFort’s Office]

Hardison: Oh I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. I’m a professional criminal and I find that disturbing

they’re going at america’s THROAT in this one and I love it. thank you john rogers

- - - - -

(while DuFort is distracted Sophie pulls out his wallet and removes the RFID card with her teeth. DuFort takes off his coat to look at the stain)

I am but a simple gay and this was Hot™

- - - - -

the phones hardison gave the team have six main buttons: internet, text, files, to-do, id scan, and mail

- - - - -

Nate: Parker, what’s the status of the voicelock?

[DuFort’s Office]

Parker: Uh, I’ve been sampling DuFort’s speech but I still need a few more sounds.

[Private Party]

Nate: How many?

[DuFort’s Office]

Parker: Well I only need the sounds puh, tuh, oo, ah, eh, oh, ah, ke, a, ef.

[Private Party]

Nate: Ah, only those. Eliot.

(Eliot walks by carrying two trays of appetizers)

Eliot: I’m on it. Pardon. (approaches Sophie and DuFort) Hello.

Sophie: Ooh. Mmm.

Eliot: (to DuFort) Appetizer, sir?

DuFort: Sure, what do you got?

Eliot: I’ve got the pâté d’escargot avec bière d'Argentine and (looks at second tray and grimaces) what looks like old duck, kind of greasy.

DuFort: I guess I’ll have the first one.

Eliot: Of course.

(Eliot offers him the second tray and Dufort looks at him expectantly)

DuFort: Well? May I have some?

Eliot: The greasy duck?

Sophie: Oh, no, no, no, I wouldn’t have the greasy duck.

Eliot: No I wouldn’t suggest it.

DuFort: No, the other one.

(Eliot pretends confusion)

DuFort: The the pâté d’escargot with the bière d'Argentine!

Eliot: Excellent choice sir (gives DuFort the first tray).

DuFort: (takes food) Who is this clown?

[DuFort’s Office]

Parker: Pretty good. Got most of them. Okay, now all I need is ef, uh and kuh.

[Private Party]

(DuFort spits out the appetizer he has taken)

DuFort: This is shrimp!

Eliot: Very good then. (walks away)

DuFort: It’s shrimp you stupid F----!

[DuFort’s Office]

Parker: Oh, there they are. Really loud too

parker being so competent and knowledgeable about voice activation codes? amazing. iconic.

and the whole scene with eliot and the food? hilarious.

also there already another meta post about this but this scene shows just how SMART eliot is,,, like coming up with that on spot??? don’t get me wrong, hardison is “the smartest man [any of them know]” but damn

- - - - -

continuing list of non-weapon objects eliot uses as weapons:

an IV stand

+ bonus

nate: the defibrillator/AED

- - - - -

Perry: Mr. Ford!

(Perry pushes a defibrillator towards Nate, who grabs the paddles. The first man runs toward Eliot with a knife, but Eliot grabs his arm and pushes him toward Nate)

Nate: Hello.

(Nate hits the man in the chest with the defibrillator paddles and he flies backward, unconscious)

eliot looking Impressed™ at nate for that

- - - - -

Eliot: Play time’s over Nate, it’s only a matter of time before they come after us. The tall one, the way he used a knife, ex-Marine, probably Force Recon.

Hardison: You ID’d a guy off his knife-fighting style?

Eliot: It’s a very distinctive style.

two distinctives in one episode

- - - - -

Hardison: I didn’t sign up for any of this. What I did before, nobody got hurt.

Sophie: I stole paintings for a living.

Parker: I never hurt anybody.

Eliot: I actually hurt people, so…

LMFAO eliot but also- notice that sophie never said that she never hurt people, she just said she stole paintings for a living

- - - - -

Sophie: Nate, if anything had happened to this kid--

Nate: You know you guys called on me. You remember? You begged me to run the crew, agreed to play by my rules. Now walk out if you have a problem with that. Walk out any day if you have a problem with that. It’s simple.

(everyone looks hesitant)

Eliot: We finish this one.

Parker: Just one

PSH like any of y’all believe that

- - - - -

Hardison: How do we hit ‘em?

Sophie: Congressman Jenkins, he’s our in. Looked me straight in the eye and told me he’d never even heard of the shooting.

Parker: So?

Sophie: Looked me in the eye? When men are telling me the truth they’re not looking me in the eye. A man only ever looks a woman in the eye when he’s making the effort to lie to her.

Eliot: ...Well you can’t argue with that.

Hardison: Noted and filed

LMFAO

- - - - -

Nate: All right, Jenkins is DuFort’s pet congressman, let’s see if we can get him to bite. The best way to get two people to reveal a secret, get ‘em to turn on each other.

- - - - -

Sophie: You should look out for the signs congressman. Missed phone calls, no more little favors.

Jenkins: Those are the same signs that your wife is cheating on you.

Sophie: That’s right.

Jenkins: What am I supposed to do when that happens?

Sophie (hands him her card): Play the field

- - - - -

Hardison: Congressman Jenkins is very careful. No direct bribes but he’s renovating his house and so far he’s received over $600,000 worth of work for a little over fifty grand.

(Hardison brings up pictures of Jenkins’ house on the screens)

Eliot: Castleman owns the contracting company, huh?

Hardison: I mean, he’s going through like three shell companies but yeah. And this man loves his house. Just check out his web browsing habits.

(Hardison changes the image to a website for wood panels)

Hardison: Look here, see the man spent three weeks picking out the perfect mahogany wood panels. This site is like wood porn.

Eliot: Is his house finished?

Hardison: Not even close.

Eliot: Can I borrow your phone?

Hardison takes out his phone, dials for Eliot and hands it to him.

Eliot (on phone): Hello? Yes, I’d like to cancel delivery on some mahogany wood paneling. Please.

(Hardison tries to help, Eliot walks away)

Eliot: The Jenkins house. Yeah, you know what, do me a favor man, just go ahead and cancel the whole order. Yes sir.

(Eliot leaves the room as Nate enters with a bowl of popcorn and two beers)

Nate: What’s he doing?

Hardison: Yanking the congressman’s chain

I love chaotic (pre)boyfriends

plus at one point it high hey looked like they were holding hands

and eliot’s SMILE at hardison ,,, you soft man, you never stood a chance

- - - - -

Hardison: A woo--whoa, whoa! A wood-- a wooden box?

Nate: A wooden box.

Hardison: Wood? Well, we can put a man on the moon but all our laws go into a wooden box.

- - - - -

Hardison: I mean, break a law, everybody’s done that, my mama’s done that but steal a law. Oh, she’s gonna be a legend baby.

(on screen, C-SPAN news shows the Senate floor where Parker is walking to “The Hopper”. She waves at the camera and puts the fake bill into box.

Parker: The eagle has landed.

Nate: It’s in!

Hardison: Uhn! Go ahead girl! Sexyness! Unh. Rrrnnn.

Nate: Might want to ease up on that a little bit.

Hardison: Just saying.

Nate: Yeah.

Hardison: Between me and you. Between me and you.

Nate: Never leaves the room.

adorable “the eagle has landed” parker + already-gone-for-her hardison ,,, I love it here

- - - - -

(also, again I am reminded that there is a 250 text block limit so imma have to make a part two and apparently this is my life now)

#leverage #leverage 1.02 #leverage 1x02 #the homecoming job #notable moments #mine #leverage season 1 #season 1

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starshine-selfships · 3 years ago

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1, 5, 6, 10, and 12!! :>

Hello hello!! Thank you for the numbers!!

1) What's a Hot Take you have about your f/o?

Not necessarily a hot take bc I've seen other people agree with this, but he's pretty mentally ill,, like that man definitely has an anxiety disorder and also looks like he might be depressed as hell on top of that 😞 I guess a hot take would be that the way he acts is kinda reminiscent of how someone who's experienced trauma acts, between his paranoia, the way he didn't really seem to fully trust anyone, self sabotage through setting self expectations way too high and then shattering when they were unreachable, like that's a little uncanny and definitely creeps into projection territory, but I think it's possible to make an argument that the way he was treated at the start of the arc + his own delicate emotional constitution could mean something 🤔

5) What's the dumbest thing you've heard about your f/o, either on the internet or irl?

Any implication that he likes women U_U skdjkdf like!!! That's not a straight man, he only ever interacted with one (1) woman and he actively tried to kill her bc he hated her so much; like there's a very nice edit in his tag of the bi flag color picked from his design and I'll take it! He's definitely queer, like,, , not to run with stereotypes but what heterosexual man looks like this:

It's almost a little funny bc there's not a whole lot of content made for him but I'll occasionally scroll past some reader insert drabbles and I think I've only seen one that wasn't exclusively feminine pronouns, which strikes me as pretty odd considering how he's basically universally read as being gay, but it's whatever I suppose U_U Absolutely no shade to the fem/me aligned people that love him!! It just seems odd that everyone was like "he's gay!!" and then proceeded to not apply that to anything at all lmao

6) What are some tropes that fanart of your f/o tends to follow?

It's hard to find art where he's not sad or crying U_U like to be fair, he spent a great deal of his screentime being sad and crying hysterically but. but what if we just let him be happy 😫 also pining? Him thinkin bout/looking at his king he was pretty in love with, stuck with the knowledge that that man is just too het for him 😔 I mean obviously there's more too it but this is funnier

10) How did you feel when you realized "oh of course I had to like That Character"?

I already wrote a fairly long answer for this one, but the short version is that I didn't want these feelings but lost the receipt and couldn't give em back, then experienced the fastest slow burn on record as I, over the course of 3 months, slowly gave up when I realized that me wanting to kiss him and hold his hands wasn't something that was gonna go away U_U cannot believe how many actually great characters there are in this series and I went for the nasty bug, the mean blonde, it feels like I immediately went for the bottom of the barrel djjfkckf but regardless, I can't say I'm too upset about it now lmaoooo

12) Aren't you tired of being nice? This is an excuse to rant.

People claim to hate him, but I don't ever see any content of that, yall wanna bully him soooo bad but then never do it 😤 I was compiling hate comments during my rewatch of the anime bc a lot of them were hilarious, and I think people on this site need to amp it up a bit 😤 I love this man and 100% refuse to condemn bullying, he deserves it, I just feel like I don't see it enough lmao. I even contribute to it on my main occasionally lmaooooo, he's definitely not as hated as he used to be but enough people find him annoying that you'd really expect to see more people at least discussing that 🤔

#ty for the ask!! lov to discuss this guy 👀 hes neat 👀#hes irritating but like; in a good way; we love to see it 🙌#ty!!!!#asks

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quinnfebrey · 4 years ago

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okay okay dont yell at me but im listening to lover(the album) for the first time. like i listen to cornelia street and some other but never all 18. AND THIS SHIT SLAPS SO FUCKING HARD!!! like wtf i have recently become a proper taylor stan and this is such a great life. like evermore and folklore are the reason i have been turned and i have never been more thankful for an album. but yeah i get what you mean about london boy and all of the other songs as well TBH.

omg!!! i’m sorry if you meant for this to just be like a fun short ask bc i’m about to go off

please listen to all her albums bro there isn’t a single one that isn’t amazing!!

if you go backwards like you’re doing now, the next one would be reputation which is SO iconic like. it’s just god tier and all the songs are absolute bops. i feel like i also have to tell you to watch miss americana the documentary first and then listen to it and then watch the reputation stadium tour to get the full experience. she went silent for like three years and then overnight took off all her old posts and changed the entire layout and it was just a snake and then look what you made me do dropped and 😳

favorites from rep: dancing with our hands tied, king of my heart, end game, call it what you want, getaway car

then there’s 1989 which is so slept on but it is genuinely my go to vibe album. like any time i’m driving or at the beach or cooking just chilling and i want to listen to stuff in the background i always put on 1989. also this was her first album doing secret sessions which is special!! for some reason i have a lot of happy feelings towards 1989 era but looking back it was also very sterile which is interesting and i think the documentary explains that a little bit but. anyway the music is fire

favorites from 1989: all you had to do was stay, i know places, clean, style, out of the woods

red is openly my least favorite t album and i don’t know why, but interestingly the songs i do like are some of my favorites of hers of all times. it is kind of a vibe bc you have to remember we opened red era with we are never ever getting back together and i knew you were trouble which was SO big of a deal at the time. everyone was like “the old taylor is deadddddd” (and she was like just wait for reputation lol). if i had to summarize red era for you, i’d tell you to look up “ikywt screaming goat” and pretend you’re 12 years old

favorites from red: HOLY GROUND AAAHHHHH, treacherous, state of grace, i almost do

speak now!!! it’s my favorite taylor album 🥺 so far nothing has dethroned it as number 1. every single song is either an absolute bop or lyrically genius or both and UGH it’s so good. this album is so special bc 1) she wrote it ALL herself, it’s the only album with zero co writers and she did it out of spite, 2) all the songs are crazy long, and 3) during this era she was doing vlogs on youtube which i highly recommend watching. speak now is honestly a very funny album but nobody ever talks about that

favorites from speak now: mine, sparks fly, last kiss, enchanted, better than revenge (we let taylor have a little misogyny as a treat), superman, and long live is in my top 5 taylor songs of all time

fearless is slept on also and i HATE that bc it perfectly sums up how to feels to be a teenage girl and it’s insane to me that taylor managed to do that without actually being a “normal” teenage girl. a lot of music reviewers rate it low and i’m like well that’s bc you’re a 50 year old man, brad!! also there’s a song on fearless called untouchable and it’s actually a cover of a song by luna halo, and i highly suggest you look it up bc the fact that taylor heard luna halo’s version and came up with what she put out is hilarious and genius at the same time. also if you listen to change knowing it’s about her record label, and knowing what you know now about scott borchetta, it’s a little 😐

favorites from fearless: the way i loved you, forever & always, hey stephen, you belong with me, you’re not sorry

according to 99% of the fandom, debut doesn’t exist. but we love her and she’s amazing and taylors baby voice is cute and you have to remember that she was like 12-16 when she wrote most of those songs. our song was written in her freshman year, the outside was written when she was like 12 and being bullied at school. to this day, tim mcgraw is still one of the best first singles from an arist i’ve ever heard

favorites from debut: stay beautiful, the outside, our song, tim mcgraw, i’m only me when i’m with you, picture to burn

ok!! there’s your homework. pls tell me what you think 😁

#sry for the ted talk #asks

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rebelcourtesan · 4 years ago

Text

My D&D Build for Angel Dust - Revised

Last year, I created a D&D character build for Angel Dust. Since then, I have gained more experience in building characters and because of the new music video, which added metric shit-ton of character depth for Angel Dust, it’s got me reexamining my build and I decided to revise it.

For those who don’t know, Angel Dust is a spider demon in hell who happens to be a gay porn star. Flirty, rude, seductive, and addicted to drugs and sex, Angel Dust smashes Eggboys with a club while firing tommy guns.

***Stats***

Charisma: Highest Stat. As a seductive performer, this must be Angel’s top stat. We want this maxed out as soon as possible.

Dexterity: Second Highest. Angel is quick on his feet and relies mostly on range weapons.

Constitution: Third Highest Angel is no front line fighter, but he was slammed to the ground and was not phased by it.

Wisdom: Fourth Highest. Angel was able to see a sneak attach in time to push Cherry Bomb out of the way..

Intelligence: Fifth Highest He’s not the brightest, but I wouldn’t put this as his dump stat either.

Strength: Dump stat.

***Race***

In the previous version, I wasn’t aware of the Simic Hybrid race that can grant an extra set of appendages, however, I still believe the best race for Angel Dust is Tiefling. Angel gets +2 added to Charisma score and if you choose the (a subclass of Tiefling) you can add a +1 to Angel’s Dexterity.

As a Tiefling, Angel gets resistance to fire damage and gains Darkvision.

Choose the Entertainer background which nets Angel Proficiency in Acrobatics and Performance. Acrobatics because Angel is a nimble fellow and Performance because a porn star is a performer and he is an excellent pole dancer.

Alright, just like last time, we are taking a dive into Bard. however, we’re going to do something different from last time.

Bard Level 1

As a Bard, Angel can give his allies Bardic Inspiration (1d6) as a bonus action. It can be added to an Ability Check, Saving Throw or Attack roll. Angel has as many Bardic Inspirations as he does his Charisma Modifier, so we want his Charisma as high as possible, but not only for Bardic Inspiration.

Charisma also serves as the ability modifier for Bard spells. Granted, Angel doesn’t use spells, but there are some spells that mimic his scathing insults. Choose spells that charm and verbally cuts down foes.

Spell Recommendation:

Vicious Mockery: You unleash a string of insults laced with subtle enchantments at a creature you can see within range. If the target can hear you (thought it need not understand you), it must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw or take 1d4 psychic damage and have disadvantage on the next attack roll it makes before the end of its next turn.

Tasha's Hideous Laughter: A creature of your choice that you can see within range perceives everything as hilariously funny and falls into fits of laughter if this spell affects it. The target must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw or fall prone, becoming incapacitated and unable to stand up for the duration. A creature with an Intelligence score of 4 or less isn’t affected.

Bard can choose up to three skills to put their Proficiency in. Select Intimidation (he backed Travis down with an insult, Deception (he tricked Charlie and Vaggie into giving him free room and board), and Perception (being a sex worker in Hell, he has to be on the look out for danger).

Bard Level 2

Angel Dust gains Jack of all Trades which allows him to add half his proficiency bonus to all skills that don’t already have a proficiency bonus. Having been a gangster in the living world been in Hell for decades, he certain picked up on a number of skills.

Also, gets Song of Rest which allows allies to gain an extra 1d6 of healing during a short rest. I know Angel Dust isn’t really a healer, but hey, it’s still useful to have.

Bard Level 3

Expertise let’s Angel double his proficiency bonus in two skills he already has proficiency bonus. Choose Performance and Acrobatics.

At this level, Angel can choose a Bard College. This time we’re going with a different college: College of Satire.

Angel Dust gains a proficiency bonus in Sleight of Hand and Thieves Tools.

He can also use Tumble as a bonus action which can allows Angel Dust use the Dash or Disengage action, climb at his moving speed, and take half damage from falling until his next turn.

He can access 2nd level spells for Bard. I would recommend:

Crown of Madness: One humanoid of your choice that you can see within range must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw or become charmed by you for the duration.

We’re going to leave Bard behind. With his mafia background and living in Hell has given Angel an edge in a fight.

Fighter Level 1

Select Archery for Angel’s fighting style. It’ll give him a +2 to attack rolls with range weapons.

Second Wind will allow Angel Dust to heal himself as a bonus action for 1d10 + Fighter Level. This can only be used once per Short or Long rest. Angel Dust did recover quickly after being slammed down on the ground by Sir Pentius.

Fighter Level 2

Action Surge gives Angel a second action on his turn. Can be done once per Short or Long rest.

Fighter Level 3

For Martial Archetype, select Sharpshooter (UA) gives Angel Dust Steady Aim which gives the following benefits for the rest of his turn:

• The attacks ignore half and three-quarters cover.

• On each hit, the weapon deals additional damage to the target equal to 2 + half your fighter level.

This can be done up to three times per Short or Long Rest.

Fighter Level 4

Ability Score Improvement: Add both points into Charsima. We want this maxed out as soon as possible. If you have an extra point, put it towards Dexterity.

Now we’’re going to round out Angel Dust with some melee fighting skills.

Rogue Level 1

Angel Dust gets another Expertise. This time choose Deception and Perception.

With a level in Rogue, Angel Dust can now add Sneak Attack (1d6) damage once per turn to any successful attack with advantage. He can also do this in melee if an ally is within 5 ft of the target. The weapon must be a finesse or a range.

Rogue Level 2

Cunning Action lets Angel to Dash or Disengage or Hide action as a bonus action. I know he already has this with College of Satire, but he can only use Tumble three times per rest. This will make a good back up for any long encounters.

Rogue Level 3

For the Rogue Archetype I’m going with Swash Buckler to round out Angel’s fighting prowess. Fancy Foot Work will began attacks of opportunity after a success hit with a melee weapon saving a bonus action for something else like Bardic Inspiration or Cutting Words.

Rakish Audacity lets Angel add his HIGH Charisma modifier to Initiative. Also, if by chance he’s within 5 ft of an enemy, he doesn’t need an advantage to do sneak attack damage.

Rogue Level 4

Use Ability Score Improvement to bump up Angel’s Charisma as it’s his most useful stat. If it’s already maxed out, bump up Dexterity to give him greater ability with range weapons and armor class.

Rogue Level 5

Uncanny Dodge Angel can use his reaction to halve damage whenever he takes a hit from an enemy that he can see.

Rogue Level 6

Expertise again. This time pick Sl;eight of Hand and Intimidation.

Rogue Level 7

Evasion works well as Angel will either take half or no damage against area effects.

Rogue Level 8

Abilty Score Improvement again. If Angel’s Charisma is already maxed out, then put points in Dex. If by change Dex is maxed out, put the extra points into Constitution.

Rogue Level 9

Panache will let Angel use his by now high Charisma (Persuasion) check to charm enemies or give them a disadvantage in attacking him.

Rogue Level 10

Ability Score Improvement again. By now your Charisma should be maxed out. Next should be Dex, if that is maxed out then put them into Con.

Rogue Level 11

Reliable Talent will hone Angel’s skills. Whenever he uses a skill check that includes his proficiency, any roll below a 9 is considered a 10 on the die.

Rogue Level 12

Yet another Ability Score Improvement. You know the score. If Charisma is already maxed out, redirect points to Dex or Con.

Rogue Level 13

Elegant Maneuver will come in handy with Angel’s high Dex score granting him an advantage with a bonus action.

Rogue Level 14

Blindsense gives Angel pretty good hearing. If he hears invisible creatures, he can pinpoint their exact location within ten feet of him, making it hard to get the drop on him.

You’ve created Angel Dust, a demon spider who relies on his Charisma and Dexterity in role playing and combat. He’s multi-talented which comes from being part of a crime family and scuttling along the underbelly world of Hell. The build might not give him four arms, but the Dexterity should make up for it.

The downside is he’s not a strong fighter as he prefers range weapons, but the abilities and skills he has will let him handle himself if they get within melee reach of him. And he has abilities such as Bardic Inspiration that can help his girl pal Cherry Bomb out in a fight.

#D&D character build #Hazbin Hotel #Angel Dust #d&d 5e

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