#is telling me that

[ramonahblog]

"Poor Grandma sat forever in the closest waiting to be rescued , but Baddy and I didn't want the moment to end, so we made up more and more things to say. " [few sentences later] "But I...well, I'd learned a few things at Ever After High and I, er, dropped a smoke bomb. And yelled ' "But I...well, I'd learned a few things at Ever After High and I, er, dropped a smoke bomb. And yelled 'Fire.'" - Red from Unfairest Of Them All

Well, one, Red made up more and more things to say because it's kinda reliant on Red saying the whole "what big teeth you have" to get attacked.

So...Red's Grandma definitely side-eyed Red afterwards but probably said nothing because this is this poor woman's third time in this damn story and was probably like...ya know what, that's her and her mother's problem. I've done my three roles, if Red wants to be a weirdo and save a Wolf, fine. Won't be my problem.

But also

"But I...well, I'd learned a few things at Ever After High and I, er, dropped a smoke bomb. And yelled ' "But I...well, I'd learned a few things at Ever After High and I, er, dropped a smoke bomb. And yelled 'Fire.'" ... "I always carry a couple in my baskets."

Umm...what...

Okay so Red has definitely hidden a body before. Probably responsible for a few disappearances. Listen, I know she says like a sentence after it's for protection but it's not just the words, it's the entire structure of revealing the fact she had a smoke bomb handy that day.

Like I get probably not a great thing for her be telling a teenager she just met that yes, she did marry her villain. But she already is telling this teenager she married him and since apparently the Wolf in RRH is supposed to die in this world. Not that much of a leap to assume Red was responsible for the wolf surviving.

It's just suspicious. Not sorry, I'm sticking with my Red-has-totally-hidden-a-body theory here.

ALSO ALSO.

"With his ax. And he was supposed to kill Baddy, just kill him right there."

What.

The RRH story in EAH takes place the day after graduation. Bad Wolf spent his entire schooling knowing that once graduation happens, he's dead. Doesn't even get a day just not being a student. Nope. Graduation Day, more like Death Day.

That's fucked.

Now I'm thinking does it happen in the afternoon or the morning? I don't even know which one would be worse.

The grandmother isn't even harmed! Like Red knew her grandmother was tied up in a closet which implies the wolves just shove the grandma in the closet once they get there [either that or Red was really...freaky...that day].

Like I knew EAH worldbuilding was fucked because you can't have this premise and have it not be a fucked up world. But...I also thought it would have an asterisk beside any fairytales that end with a character's death. Because, you know, next gen of fairytale is supposed to repeat their parent's role so the prev. gen kinda needs to live in order to do that.

But no.

So if the huntsman is supposed kill the Wolf in this world...how the fuck do they get the next gen Wolf? Do they encourage wolves to have teen pregnancies so they can get the next wolf before the current one is killed? Do they just pick them?

Oh...

..Wait, do other villains/characters-that-meant-to-die are also...meant to die in this world? Or is specifically because EAH's RRH has the huntsman? But even then, rescuing RRH and Granny from the wolf doesn't necessarily require killing so how do they get the next wolf?

And also the huntsman is an added-on character in that fable that kinda fucks up with the original moral of the story. This has just left me with nothing but questions.

And the belief that Cerise's mum has 100% hidden a body. Everything about that was suspicious, I'm sticking by this theory.

[paintedcrows]

Did anyone tell Ford (bonus doodles: Family Movie Night, 70s Classics)

[chiisana-lion]

[woodsdyke]

having viral posts is all fun and games until you have clowns in your mentions being like "well, op, i bet you also didn't know THIS" [haughtily explains something i absolutely would and do know] like add whatever to my posts that you think is informative just don't direct it at ME! i know! i just didn't include it in the post i made in 20 seconds because i didn't think 30,000 of you would see it!

[koobiie]

shoutout to everyone who wants to infodump but cant string together coherent thoughts to form sentences and instead just look at you like this

[hansoeii]

the honda odyssey, huh?

[babylonqaf]

where's that "was anyone gonna tell me" meme when you need it because holy shit did the bird app just slap me in the face with this

(and yes, it's real and terrifying tbh)

[eruditetyro]

good morning let’s hear it for Mildly Cool Outside a round of applause for Mildly Cool Outside

[whiteshipnightjar]

Zoozve, my beloved

[mamatater]

The spouse is getting curious about tumblr

[kenapiece-main]

Can you believe I'm having to make this meme even after successfully finishing up taxes and applying to job

[bodygirls]

GIRL IN SEXY LINGERIE

[calcifershearts]

team usa shuffling away to try and let japan take a team photo with their gold medal and then shuffling back when japan is like NO COME BACK

[ursulaklegay]

its so scary to put yourself out there but a SINGLE message saying "hi i loved what you made it touched me in some way" makes it all worth it 10000%

[podcastwizard]

cashier: ok that'll be $20

me (visibly sweating): ah, yes, of course! a perfectly reasonable price for a grilled cheese and a small smoothie! that was exactly the price i expected you to say when i ordered a single grilled cheese and a smoothie and my vision is NOT getting blurry as we speak! i am a perfectly normal temperature and my speech patterns are natural and even because this is the countenance of an individual who expected to pay 20 american dollars for a single grilled cheese and a smoothie!

cashier: where's all that blood coming from