#is killing me too
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first day of intro to business class today! i did my readings (lots of capitalist bootlicking which i am approaching with an anthropological mindset), made a discussion post, did my homework for the week, and took the chapter quiz (very poorly worded questions which actually directly caused me to get one wrong)
so far so good.
#keeping it fun and funky fresh#personal#school stories#i'm gonna be getting a certificate in hr management assuming everything goes according to plan#i am very cautiously and deliberately easing in to classes. just taking the one course this semester. i'm so worried about it (:#for those who have NOT been around the ol' blog for a decade+ i did manage to eke out a bachelor's back then#and it literally almost killed me#but also going from entry-level customer service job to entry-level customer service job with huge gaps in between#is killing me too#and now i'm wayyy more disabled than i was the last time i successfully got a job. so i'm trying something drastic#it'll be fine! this will be fine.
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My boy, sweetest joy I’ve known ;-;
#epic the musical#epic the ithaca saga#epic odysseus#epic telemachus#telemachus#odysseus#the ithaca saga#the odyssey#the hands that cradled you are covered in blood#but they cradled me yes?#something about odysseus coming home after 20 years only to see men trying to kill his son#yeah I would’ve murked them all too#that’s his baby no one better touch him
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(✿◕‿◕) die (ꈍ ꒳ ꈍ✿)
#MY GIRLLLLLLLL <333333 you're doing amazing sweetie kill them all you deserve to#anyway. coping mechanism. the problems in my life i could solve if society just let me have a death note#this show really is an exercise in patience and suffering i get SO squicked out#by how much the horrible characters and situations mirror the insanity of what's happening in real life#also the revelation that some of the actors are Exactly as shitty as their characters are is. ugh.#but every time i'm like okay i can't take it i need to stop to protect my headspace#i think of kimiko and am like.... no... i need to see my gir....#hope karen gets jucy roles in other shows too PLEASE#the boys#kimiko miyashiro#karen fukuhara#theboysedit#tvedit
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okay is she being actually immature or is it just a woman over 30 expressing a human experience you find to be immature.
like yeah. at certain ages... let shit go. im not defending the real immature shit. im not defending the karen you're picturing. i worked in retail i hate those people too. (once somebody got mad at me because she didn't like how our winter window decor was a snowman smoking a pipe. i wish i was joking).
but men at 57 will write books about how 17 year old girls are soooo sexy. they will invent worlds where women have to be naked for "armor reasons." they will write songs that treat women as objects. people rush to defend them. meanwhile a woman at 35 will be like "heartbreak is hard, actually" or "i feel betrayed by a friend" or "i am struggling with something emotionally." immediately people will say stuff like this woman is 35 by the way. by the way this woman is SO OLD to be experiencing this. BY THE WAY.
im 31, almost 32. the other day a poet was blasted online because at her "big age", she had written a poem about feeling unloved. top comment was "this woman is 29 by the way." this woman is too old to still be useful, by the way. she has to behave better . maybe if she was a good wife and mother she could stop existing loudly, and the story could continue on without her. this woman has served her purpose, by the way. she's so cringe, by the way. at 29 - so old! - she still hasn't figured out that her existence should be one of shame.
#what the fuck.#unfortunately by the time i'd switched accounts (from personal to my poetry one)#i couldn't find it :(#this is why u SEND URSELF THE POST. WHICH I KNOW TO DO BUT!!!#i was so mad i just was like “i'm about to tear this commenter in twain” and . lost da post#if u urself are the 29 and got recently flamed by instagram#i love u. come here. write with me. i was about to pick up a sword for u.#i mean a BIGASS sword.#like we all know im a wlw girlie but the way ppl will be like ''id NEVER write sad poetry about a MAN not LOVING me!!!"#..... wowwwww ur so cool. anyway. people often experience emotions regardless of what u consider cringe.#& if ur gonna shame straight/bi women for feeling a certain way. hope u never write about the#weird relationship between u and ur father. or feeling different from ur brother.#or how ur male best friend fucked u over. since it's SO CRINGE. to have ANY feelings caused by a MAN#like be so for real. beloved. nobody is fucking saying this when men do it.#''oh it's cringe to like a woman or feel heartbroken by her.''#controlling women's feelings and actions???? it's more likely than u think.#btw op is nonbinary do NOT be gender essential on this post i'll kill u with my teeth#edit: btw for the person who dm'd me ''when is it misogyny and when is it actually valid''#pretty easy. if a man had done it#would it be cringe? . like if a man sang a sad song about ''she broke my damn heart''?#if he said ''i want to have kids with her'' or something sexually explicit?? like would u even LIKE IT if a male poet had said it?#& if it's like. nah a 35 yr old man being upset about this is cringe too. yeah it's just cringe. that exists. we both know it does.#but .... often i see this ONLY about women. and i can't help but hear like. how back in middle school#we were fed the lie ''girls mature faster.'' ... why do i have to be emotionally regulated? but if a man wrote about the same things?#..... idk . im pretty anti cringe culture to begin with. but this one feels so bad to me . ur still a person past 33.
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growing up!
#FALLS TO THE FLOOR!!!!#so shocking news: the silver artbook actually killed me a little. this is the first finished pic ive made since#wow isnt it crazy that 26 completed illustrations would kinda take it outta ya. bananas. i need to Not do a full bg again for a minute#i had the stupid thought like 'oohhgh i could do a series of silver and lilia as hes growing up!!' im HITTING ME!!! NO MORE SERIES!!!#I CAN DO NON-RELATED PICS OF THAT IF I MUST!!! THE PRESSURE OF A SERIES IS TOO TIRING RN!!!!#my life is a whirlwind i JUST moved and now might need to move again bc id make a ton more#im trying to sell my house and its going very poorly. im doing well at work. ID HAFTA MOVE ACROSS THE COUNTRY AGAIN#ID BE BACK NOOOORTH id go to pennsylvania <3 im from new york so the thought of being closer to my mom is rly nice#and i have friends there both from high school and ohiiiio and new england etc etc!!!! YAY!!!#twst#twisted wonderland#twst silver#lilia vanrouge#suntails#did u miss this. be honest. when i vanish for months at a time do u miss the rambling life updates. theyre who i am
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Happy 1 year anniversary to FNAF ruin!!
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#cassie fnaf#gregory fnaf#mimic#mimic fnaf#fnaf ruin#fnaf security breach#fnaf fanart#HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO PEAK!!#tbh I don’t draw mini like anniversary drawings often but#I really wanted to draw Cassie and the mimic again 🙏🏾#this basically sums up what’s going on in ruin#just the mimic putting on new costumes and doing a voice#to order others around to get what they need etc#Cassie doesn’t want to yell at Gregory 😔#and the mimic definitely knows that#TBH THIS comic truly kills me#it hits my funny bone so I hope yall like this too#love you ruin 💜💜💜
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You don't wish your disability was worse or more visible, you wish your disability was taken seriously. Please stop confusing the two, I guarantee you would not get the support you need JUST by being more severe or more visible. Please listen to visibly disabled people when we tell you it isn't better on our side
#m/cc#mine#I tried extremely hard to word this nicely because I KNOW people don't mean bad and often even know there are unique challenges#and believe me I know the challenges of invisible disability too!!#I have invisible disabilities!#but as someone who has also been at least visibly 'off' since they were 10 I am SO SICK of invisible disabilities being hailed as like#a unique extra oppression that us lucky visibly disabled people don't have to deal with#there are challenges to invisible disabilities that visibly disabled people DON'T have to deal with!#but you need to understand that *the reverse is also true*#there are MASSIVE benefits to being able to lie about your disability for example#or not dealing with the overt ableism that comes with your disability being obvious to everyone#*I do not have the option to pretend I'm not disabled.* that is never an option I have#I walk weirdly. I use a mobility aid now. my speech and face are 'off.' I lean to one side#for a long time I wore sunglasses 24/7 and often didn't make sense. I sometimes can't speak or won't react to others#for the most part people will always know that at the very least something is wrong with me#and more obviously I have people telling me they'll pray for me; telling me I can't do things I'm already in the process of doing;#wanting to shake my hand to tell me I'm an inspiration for not killing myself; giving me dirty looks for existing in public#and yes. I'm aware that this is very much an in-community issue. I know the average abled person doesn't know invisible disabilities exist#that's why there's so much awareness happening for it#but as a visibly disabled person I get SO TIRED of constantly hearing 'I wish my disability was visible :'('#it's just 'I wish I had your disability!' but from other disabled people
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post itself
false flags
trans/adjacent tags
accessibility features
tumblr live post (thanks for the link, @problemnyatic)
flashing / strobing / lights
unblockable flashing ad
buying ad free
staff @/macmanx guilt trip
list of staff + more issues
#post nuked bc proshippers started insulting people who rbed this and implied partyjockers attempted to Kill staff? it was getting old so#archive links still under the cut if you want and you can rb this from others if you want the og#hint: if you dislike this post or want to debunk parts of it the way to go about it isn't to call people who've rbed it 'disgusting little#fuck ups' that are 'spreading anti shipper lies'#note: this post is and was Not about ship discourse jesus fucking christ proshippers get a grip#also ace discoursers are here too? this isn't about you either?#edit 2: if you send me an anon regarding this post about how im policing discussion or 'don't really want it'#but then stop replying when i answer your ask#maybe that's. not helping discussion?#i nuked this post as people started making up false accusations to smear people staff sniped. aka accusing someone of IRL ATTEMPTED MURDERS.
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I love how mqf's oficial description is something like: a good heart who wants to help others but then you read the novel and his reaction to lqg trapping ten infected men who are crying in panic is "great now I can start to work in my experiments with decomposed people to find a cure" and gets out a lot of needles, which makes the man cry even harder.
Even if we only get bits of the other Cang Qiong sect leader's we can reach the conclusion that no one there is normal, sqq is just biased.
#the other sects when they have to invite cang qiong: they're our brothers but for fuck's sake they're so weird#sqq is a drama queen married to the demon lord#lqg is an obsessed fighter with no survival instics#sqh is a spy married to ANOTHER demon that somehow is still in the sect doing taxes#qqq could kill you with a look but she also makes fun of tiny lbh in the extras#you know the emperor#so she has probably zero survival instics too#mqf is one step away from becoming a mad doctor#and they're lead by the n°1 apologizer#i love them let me meet the rest#svsss#scum villain self saving system#mu qingfang#liu qingge#shen qingqiu
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"what if chilchuck was a butch?" we thought
and Ryoko said - "say no more!" - and made Meijack, can you believe it???
anyway I'm surprised nobody's done it before, you can have it!
original panels under read more
p.s. - she just doodled chilchuck genderbend once and couldnt let go of the design and BAM Meijack was born lol its so funnt tbh. but fucking valid
#i love you lesbians! this is for you lesbians! and me#chilchuck#dungeon meshi#meijack#meijack chils#chilchuck tims#Meijaclk you look so butch your swag is too strong your boots are too sluty your gaze is too tired gay#they gonna kill you you. have to stop#we have like what?... full 5 or 6 pannels with her but its enough for me to love her thanks#chilchuk darling i loe you so much but could you step aside a little because THIS GIRL#my art#kinda????#not my art#my edit
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GHRGR(BRHBRHRGHRBHRGHRGHRBHRBRHRGHRG
#murder drones#murder drones spoilers#chiimo art shenanigans#KILLING THIS SHOW IT'S GIVING ME TOO MUCH FANART IDEAS#uzi doorman#v murder drones#n murder drones#also i just realized the “we lived bitch” caption applies to cyn too sorry </3
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#need to get it out of me#right now#but i’m too sleepy tired because of work#so. going to kill instead :)#own
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i want to introduce you all to a project that is very close to my heart... or lack of one. anyway. for anyone who has ever wanted to play a poem. i'd like you to meet aromanticism
(link opens itch.io - she'll run on html in your browser! please be nice to her!)
#literally please be so so so fucking niceys to her i am so nervous about this for no reason#it's literally fine it's gonna be perfectly functional. I Am Going To Lose My Mind#i can always make another post if it gets fucked up somehow... i can always make another post...#anyway. hi. this is aromanticism. i made her for class. and then revised her for class. and now she's like my child#losing my miiiiiiiind#poetry#kind of like a uquiz too. to be honest haha#except i can make you read more somehow (long questions instead of long answers)#it's a little choose your own adventure......#poem#poems#poets on tumblr#poems and poetry#poetsandwriters#poems about aromanticism#aromantic#aro poet#aro poetry#aro#aromanticism#aroace#arospec#aspec#itch.io#GOD OKAY I'M JUST POSTING IT.#other writing#trying to get this to show up in my other writing tag is going to kill me...
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She will (and he'll let her)
#zutara#atla#zuko#avatar the last airbender#katara#atla fanart#prince zuko#zutara au#atla art#zutara fanart#zutara art#zuko x katara#katara x zuko#atla zuko#katara art#katara fanart#katara of the southern water tribe#the western air temple#This was inspired by THAT Trigun Stampede scene (if you're a Vashwood fan you'll know which one)#The “I'll kill you” *heart eyes* dynamic is SO Western-Air-Temple-ZK coded it's insane#Also Zuko loves girls who can kick his ass and that's canon. Like. The fact that they can and WILL plummet him to the ground is a big yes#I just know it#And yeah my boy was pretty crestfallen during that scene (too sad and defeated for someone who didn't have *ahem* at least a crush on her)#(In my very much not humble opinion)#But some (hidden) part of him was like “kissherkissherkissher” and you cannot convince me otherwise#I think about his dorky hopeful smile when he saw her literally all the time#And then the kicked turtleduck face that screamed “no smooches? 🥺”#Like what's up with that Zuko?#Why would you keep silent because you know you deserve this treatment for her but that didn't stop you from wishing otherwise?#Just WHY
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I think one of the biggest tragedies of Laios & Falin and their relationship is how much his actions impact her life. But like. Specifically how much they WOULDN’T impact her life as much if they weren’t both stuck in such a shitty abusive situation.
This part of the Falin-tries-makeup daydream hour comic is what got me thinking about it again because truly it just... it seems like such a like an offhand comment that I'm sure Laios didn't mean to be cruel or anything. That's just like. A little kid not thinking about what they are saying. ESPECIALLY when the kid in question is Laios.
But man they depended on each other SO much as kids. Too much. It really feels like they didn't have any other source of positive reinforcement, or anyone else to share themselves with. So of course an offhand comment like that has a huge impact on Falin.
Or this little bit from one of the flashbacks:
This tears me apart. Do you think it tears him apart to think about? I think it does. I think Laios holds every small failure to care for Falin against himself.
And then there's the Bigger stuff. The way that him coping with his own trauma ended up impacting her.
Like his interest in monsters. Like him going to find a ghost, and accidentally revealing Falin's magic to the whole village in the process.
Like him needing to leave. And leaving her behind.
He shaped her life so much, and he carries so much guilt for it. And again, there should have been other people there to help. The same things that made Laios need to leave home are the things that made his leaving so hard on Falin. She ate alone after that. She shouldn't have had to eat alone just because Laios wasn't there.
She was 9 when he left for school, and he was 11.
Nine. And Laios feels like he failed her because he didn't stand by her through this better. As an eleven year old.
Both of these kids deserved so much better from the world.
#dunmeshi analysis#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#falin touden#laios touden#dungeon meshi spoilers#AND this isn't even getting into her leaving the academy & how much it seems like that was directly tied to how poorly he was doing#there's a comic in the adventurer's bible where marcille is like 'yeah she had a job lined up and everything'#and like. do you think he feels bad for that too#like he wrecked her life by leaving#and wrecked her life by showing up#what do you even do at that point. if you feel like a failed protector when you are away & and a burden when you return#unable to make yourself accept. unable to make yourself resist#Laios strongest moment is when he lets himself accept that. the contradiction of his life & his relationship with Falin#that he has to kill her to save her#as a small note this came out a little more focused on Laios' POV with this stuff but Falin's experience of it is v important to me too#didn't mean to sideline her but her feelings about stuff are more speculative and probably need a post of their own
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spare thought for the enslaved shepherds in greek mythology/tragedy who rescue the exposed doom babies... sometimes they know why the baby was left to die, sometimes they don't. they just — it's a baby. no one else wants it. you can't leave it here. what harm could it do. it's a baby. you want it to live. it's a baby
#spent a little too much time with my baby nieces this week perhaps. idk#i was thinking about agelaos but also the shepherd who jocasta gave baby oedipus to#who did know the parent-killing prophecy! and passed the baby onto another shepherd! and both of them recognize him as a grown man and#ahhh. everyone is so cruel to them but for a moment they're just happy to see him#hurts me. hurts my feelings.#anna.txt#slavery tw /#agelaos#paris#phorbas#oedipus
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